#i know im late as fUCK-
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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
#i've been listening to icarus by bastille#and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin'#and like fuck man#and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope#anyway my line now#also probably phrased this poorly but its ok#im allowed to be incomprehensible#as a treat#and then fuckin#from we sink by of monsters and men#the original line was 'please look away dont look at me'#and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me'#anyway#shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night#q
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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today's flocking sketches!! wanted to try some more wide shot scenery this time so i was mainly focused on colors, composition and the feeling that drawings hold overall. maganpaulia, kaprosuchus, torosaurus and regaliceratops. also my first large ceratopsians ever!
#still don't know how ceratopsians work.#but i think i cooked#kinda?#eh i've been drawing a lot of storyboards at my job lately and doing layouts is exhausting and it's been a bit stressing overall#but what i do to make it fun?#right. i do the same in my free time but put dinosaurs in there#fuck u stress im drawing paleo things#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoart#paleoland#paleostream flocking#maganpaulia#kaprosuchus#torosaurus#regaliceratops
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happy birthday dazai! 💌
#art#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bsd fanart#I KNOW IM LATE AS FUCK PLEASE DONT KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE#HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAZAI I AM TERMINALLY AND FOREVER IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I AM NEVER ESCAPING#DISHAJIODUWHAJODIAHU
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The Magician - Dorian Pavus
#DORIAN TAROT YAHAHAHA#look i know im like 10 years late to the party but....#ive decided the best thing to do about my burgeoning dorian obsession is to just feed it#new meow meow alert sorry guys#i have a specific vision for his fuck ass haircut#ive never done anything like this before but im really chuffed with how it turned out#god bless river from a week ago that decided to download brushes#im gonna make one for virgil too and maybe bull if i dont tire myself out#also i started a playlist for dorian cause i need relevant music when im painting#dorian pavus#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dai#dragon age fanart#dai fanart#tarot#my art#ok anyways love u bye :-)
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aaaaand done!
hobieposes 4 u <3
some ppl seemed to like the sketch i posted and then deleted so here u go ↓
#mine#spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#yippee i finished!#idk if it lives up to expectations exactly but meh fuck it#also i wanted to finish this by may day but. welp#better late than never i guess? 😅#also if u recognize some poses yes. i did swipe some from miles and miles42's concept art as well#and the symbols used are anarchist symbols: chaos symbol. iww symbol. antifascist symbol.#ye!! ♡#i had fun doodling these but then ofc inking and coloring had to be STRESSFUL af bc duh 🙄#dont work with oil paint pens if you know whats good for you#but im glad i finally found a good use for my patterned card stock and 1 million receipts i had lyin around#thank u hobie brown 🫶#hobie helps me clear the clutter of paper i have stacked on my desk lmfao
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and people say season 5 is bad
#2nd and 3rd cap? congrats to sir gwaine on his top surgery#gwaine#bbcm#bbc merlin#the diamair#im not gonna make this about merwaine out of the kindness of my heart. if you see it you see it#like this shouldve been enough for merlin to trust him w his magic but alas gwaine acts like a dumb cop for the rest of the season#i know the always sunny eps are always present tense but past tense is simply funnier in this context#it happened. he fucked the alien. they were too late to prevent it#bradleys face... he understood the assignment
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[insert emo caption here!]
#craig cuttlefish#dj octavio#octavio takowasa#cuttletavio#splatoon 3#grand fest splatoon#sry im late again :3#BUT U KNOW I HAD TOOOOO GET ON THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!#I WAS FUJOING TF OUTTT#ignore the background looking fucked up#(i had to remove octavios big ass out the way😭)
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im goNNA BE LATE FOR WORK CAUSE I WANTED TO COLOR THIS WAGHH PLEASE TAKE IT
LOVE, DEATH, AND ROLLERSKATES AU by @spadillelicious !!!!
#pingdoobles#fnaf#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sb#sundrop#dca#dca fandom#love death and rollerskates#IM HELLA LATE FOR WORK BUT ITS FINE#shoot. dare i say FUCK#rlly proud of how i shit this out in an hour or so ngl!!!#cw eyestrain#cw bright colors#eyestrain#bright colors#self insert be nice <3#ok cleaned this up like 13 hours later!!#ldr but y/n pretends to not know how to skate to hang with sun yeah
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off 😬 if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you 🙏💕
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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nahhh bro 💀💀💀💀
#ava#animator vs animation#alan becker#ava victim#ava agent#mygod this is so fucking stupid#im sorry for this it was a late night thought and it was so hilarious to think about#he does kinda look like an alan though the more i look at him#new name hc dropped /JOKES#also stickizens is what im calling outernet sticks from now on hehe#this is also an attempt at a comic and writing dialogue for these two so please tell me what you think#“LILAC YOUCOULD HAVE JUST SAID HUMAN NAMES...” SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHHSHSHHSHHH lets jsut say they do not know about the word human please#i may have overthought this a little haha sorry#ihave edited this somnay times i need sleep#lilacsart
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"Shen Jiu, you really are a demon!"
in which yue qi saves an injured fox kit, which turns out to be an young fox demon. once he's recovered enough strength, he adopts a human form so that he can talk to yue qi properly, but ends up being caught by the slave traders as well. Since he can change form, it would be pretty easy for him to escape, but if he's discovered as a demon he'll never be able to return, and he has no home or family anyways, so he decides he would rather stay and help qi-ge, who will probably get himself killed without someone to stop him from doing stupid shit.
when shen jiu saves yue qi from death by horse carriage, and subsequently is bought by qiu jianluo, fairly quickly qjl realizes he is not human, and delightedly gifts him with a enchanted collar, which renders him unable to chnage forms, stuck in him demonic form and unable to change to full fox or full human shape. like this, he cannot leave the qiu manor at all without immediately giving himself away, even if qjl hadnt also locked him up. like this, he has no choice but to wait until yq makes his way back to the qiu manor at last, but when he's finally freed, he's initially almost feral from how he's been treated, and very nearly kills yqy...
#qijiuweek2024#partial nudity#qijiu#svsss#arts#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#79 or as i like to call it an excuse to spend an entire week spitballing fun ideas for 79 aus#and also playing around with art techniques#i think its fun to entertain aus sometimes where sj does wait long enough for yq to make it back to him#because it dont think it would have magically absolved them of Issues actually#both still coming out of this with grievous amounts of trauma#yqy still will agonize over how his actions made him so late when xiao was suffering so much#im undecided if yq KNOWS sj is a demon before he comes back#on one hand. the angst of sj not wanting qi ge to find out he's a demon on top of everything else#on the other hand i think its so fucking funny to imagine how yue “xiao jiu was only kidding when he tried to kill you with a rock” qi#would happily defend his now Literally A Demon Xiao Jiu
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sm limbus scribbles too frm the past weeks between workin on things!
#driftoodles#limbus company#emil sinclair#heathcliff#don quixote#faust#meursault#ishmael#rodion#outis#hong lu#catherine earnshaw#matthew#im tagging that ship too bc. sure#meurcliff#ishdion#heathclair (?)#gonna have to actually like. make a sideblog at this point ive been drawin these fucks way too much#didnt think id get all that attached n mostly picked it up to parallel plau with friends#but uh. i guess this was forseen huh?#i gotta get better pics of my heathcliffs i draw irl they always end up so washed out =_=#also ik we dont know who the blonde bitch is in the background of heathcliff's rabbit art#but im like 100% certain its sinclair. sinclair n ryoshu are rabbits. to me#sometimes when im sad i like to draw critters eating food together. usually its malos xenoblade but lately ive been drawing don n rodya#canto vi#canto vi spoiler#canto 6#limbus company spoilers
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
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robin cross and kevin day parallels actually go so crazy. they both spent their formative years in a basement underground with exy-obsessed captors. they both saw exy as freedom. they both were isolated even within the foxes’ group of outcasts. they were both under andrew’s protection. it cost kevin jean to leave the nest and it cost robin another girl’s life to escape her kidnapper. robin carried her racquet with her to self-soothe and kevin restrings the net of his when he’s anxious. they’re even bird coded
#to those unfamiliar the word robin is also a kind of little bird 🕊️#i dont ship them but i dont blame the people who do if im honest#BUT ITS JUST CRAZY TO MEEE#its so fucked that canonically kevin never gets to meet her#but i will say that the echoes of his presence are still there#she joins the foxes the year after kevins graduation and there andrew is taking robin to night practice#there he is coaching her because he knows exy is the tool she needs to believe in herself#there he is doing what kevin day told him only years late 🫠#sorry they make me insane#robin when she’s the weird kandreil amalgamation no one asked for#will expand on this if i have more thoughts later but please talk to me about robin. thank you#txt#aftg#kevin day#robin cross#kevin#robin#fav#kevin&robin
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hey mouthwashing analysts, do we maybe want to think a bit before comparing a full grown man, who is just heavily disabled, to a baby? like a literal infant? especially when there's a stronger metaphorical/psychological/symbolic avatar for the baby and pregnancy already present within the narrative? (multiple even!)
#please for the love of sweet christ stop treating or alluding to disabled characters as infantile. what is wrong with you#disabled people who need to rely on the care of others are not like babies. you guys know that right#also aside from it just being generally fucked up and weird#the possible metaphor of curly as anya's baby is very week. especially juxtaposed with the stronger symbols already associated with the#baby/pregnancy in the game (namely polle and the dead pixel; i actually prefer the dead pixel as being representative of jimmy)#also i just realized i spelt weak wrong. sorry im high#i also think curly's position is meant to be reflective of anya's. he's suddenly vulnerable#trapped. and at jimmy's total mercy (the physical assult 2 months in?)#very much in a similar manner to anya. only now- its too late for him to act. he can only witness as things fall apart#someone else on here said this but#curly and jimmy as foils- curly and anya as parallels#curly as a metaphor for the baby runs the risk of. muddying the whole thing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing analysis#captain curly#anya#jimmy
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