#ok cleaned this up like 13 hours later!!

[ping-ski]

im goNNA BE LATE FOR WORK CAUSE I WANTED TO COLOR THIS WAGHH PLEASE TAKE IT

LOVE, DEATH, AND ROLLERSKATES AU by @spadillelicious !!!!

[sabrina-kpop]

Can I request a hashira x fem reader one-shot who has the powers of winter from aespa's new Supernova but the drawback is that she gets sick and vomits blood + she has lucky girl syndrome (which means she's lucky asf)

ིྀ∘˙༺𝐵𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝐵𝐴𝑁𝐺༻˙∘ ིྀ

Thank you for this request!! I have shaken up the story a little... Reader is the youngest of the hashira and is like a little sister to all of them! (This does not include child x adult)

WARNING: this includes Vomiting, blood, cursing, mentions of child abuse and slight p3doph1lia if you feel uncomfortable with these topics please don't read

You are grateful for having the hashira as your family, They saved you when you we're weak. And treated you like human. You were experimented on by a higher rank demon, you were to become a weapon to kill hashiras and swordsmen.

When Gyomei found you, you were terrified by what he would do to you, but he later then convinced you that he was trust worthy and you should come with him.

When the two of you arrived at The Ubuyashiki Mansion Gyomei immediately took you to a place you later learned was called the butterfly estate. When the both of you arrived you were greeted by two women.

One was taller and had long healthy black hair with a two butterfly pins on the sides of her hair, the other was a lot shorter and had her hair up and she had black hair with purple tips and looked angry.

The two women took you to a room to do a check up once they found out you were covered with scars and syringe wounds they immediately began treating you.

That was eight years ago and now your 13 and a hashira, everything in your life is perfect. You are currently out on a mission with Giyuu, although he isn't that talkative his presence comforting.

You two were called to a nearby village were it was reported that young girls went missing during the evening.

Nonetheless you and Giyuu arrived and the both of you decide to stay in a inn to recharge do to you finding a hundred dollar bill on the ground and insisting Giyuu to take you to go shopping for hours....

"Giyuu-san!" You said looking over at the dark hair male who's currently eating sake daikon.

"Hm?" He hummed unable to speak do to his mouth being full with his favorite dish which made you giggle.

"I'm bored.. Let's play a game!" You said as Giyuu look at you. "Let's see..Think of a number! " you said happily waiting for the water hashira to let you know when he's ready. "Ok." He plainly said still eating the food.

"Hmm.. Seven! "

He then nodded, not fazed by your luck as you jump up a down, acting as if your luck wasn't the cause of you guessing ."Giyuu-san let play aga-"

BOOM

You were interrupted by a loud bang outside, you and giyuu immediately got your blades and headed out.

"Y/n protect the people in the building I'll fight! " yelled Giyuu but you couldn't help but feel angry on how protective he is of you.

"But I wanna fight! I never get too!" You barked back.

"Y/n now is not the time for argui-" Giyuu was cut off do the demon attacking which caught him off guard. You followed his order and began helping people on the side.

"You're a hashira aren't you? Oh how I just love how you guys scream in agony as I rip you limb by limb!" Said the ugly demon as he continued to attack Giyuu in which he doged and used his water breathing.

"Missed! Haha! You hashiras are so weak now a days!" The demon said as he used his blood demon art to stab Giyuu in the leg restricting his movements

"Giyuu-san!" You yelled

Suddenly the demons gaze turned to you and the little boy in your hands.

"Mmm! How I love young innocent girls!"

He said as he used his blood demon art to send blood like blades to your direction.

Without thinking you used your special ability to dodge fly high up in the air with the boy in your arms"

"What the fuck!? Are you a demon!?" The demon said as Giyuu signaled you to distract them for he can get a clean slice of on neck. You nodded forgetting the drawbacks that this plan will take.

As the demon uses his blood demon art to send sharp spikes at you you kept dodging and using your abilities to pick up stuff and try to him trying to restrict him from catching Giyuu.

The demon managed to stab your thigh as you scream and fell hugging the little boy in your arms so he wouldn't get hurt.

Giyuu took this chance to painfully jump behind the demon and slice his neck off. The demon's head fell to the floor and began to curse out Giyuu, as he simply ignored it as he watched the demon disintegrate Into thin air.

*Cough* "G-Giyuu" he immediately flashed his eyes to the sound of your raspy voice as he saw a blood bath coming from your mouth. "G-Giyuu-san take the boy a-and find his mother" you said as you vomited more blood.

In a state of shock and fear, he immediately picked you and the boy up and ran as fast as he could to the butterfly estate.

Upon arrival, Giyuu started shouting for Shinobu which is unusual for him scaring most of the butterfly girls.

Giyuu slide the door open as hard as he can which startled Shinobu. "Tomioka-san what's wrong with yo- Oh my!" An interrupted Shinobu said as she laid eyes upon your bloody limp body in Giyuu's arms.

Shinobu immediately called for backup and she took you from her arms and ran to a surgery room.

"Hey dumbass" I certain white headed man said behind the water hashira as he turned around.

"The hell happened to you? Why are you covered in blood and why the fuck you were yelling?"

Giyuu looked at the Sanemi as he plainly stated. "It's y/n she used her abilities to much to a pint where she couldn't handle it."

"Why the fuck would she do that!" Yelled the wind hashira "And why didn't you stop her!" He blamed. Giyuu looked away ignoring him as he waited patiently for Shinobu.

"She's okay, she just needs to rest for some weeks and she'll be good as new!" Said the black and purple haired girl. "Poor thing she looks so weak" said Mitsuri "Yea no shit she lost a lot of blood" said Sanemi and Iguro gave him a death stare.

The hashira's decided to visit you after they found out about your conditions, checking up on you everyday as Shinobu gave you medicine.

When you finally came to you were needed by nine familiar faces.

Mitsuri and Rengoku gifted young a whole bunch of food.

Uzui gifted you some nice jewelry.

Iguro gifted you a pair of new socks.

Sanemi asked if you were feeling well time to time.

Shinobu gave you some butterfly clips and some poison to help you during battle.

Gyomei sent you a whole bunch of prayers.

Muichiro gifted some of his origami.

And lastly Giyuu gave you an apology for not protecting you. You said that I didn't matter and that your safe and should leave it in the pass. But Giyuu swore from now on he would protect in anyway possible.

You're grateful for having this family and hope to make more memories with them.

[wubbowrites]

how to get over your feelings for that stupid blue hedgehog

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog

Relationship: Sonic/Shadow

Rating: General Audience

Warnings: none!

AO3 Link

A step-by-step guide for ultimate lifeforms.

—

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. You won’t want to eat so early, but your roommate’s voice in your head will tell you to. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make toast, an egg, or some other food.

(3) Don’t think about what you would make if he was here with you.

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. You won’t want to eat so early, but your roommate’s voice in your head will tell you to. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make toast, an egg, or some other food.

(3) Don’t think about what you would make if he was here with you. Pretend you don’t care what he likes for breakfast. Pretend you don’t already know that he likes blueberry pancakes, or cold leftover pizza.

(4) Check the living room. If your roommate left a mess from the night before, tidy it up. You don’t usually clean up her messes, but you can’t stand living in a cluttered home. It’s unnatural to you. So make this exception.

(5) If your roommate is not asleep in her room, check your phone. You don’t like using your phone, because it has too many apps on it that you barely know how to use, but check it anyway. You will likely have a text from her with a selfie, where the background will only vaguely reveal where she’s conducting her latest heist. Send her confirmation that you’ve seen it — a thumbs up emoticon or an “Ok.” will do, even if she teases you about your choice later.

(6) Shower. If you get caught up in your thoughts, put on your classic rock playlist to ease them. If you catch yourself thinking of him, blast your heavy metal playlist at full volume so you can’t think at all.

(7) Put on your clothes. If your shoes have visible dirt, quickly polish them up. Don’t forget your inhibitor rings. You never have, but still make a point to remind yourself not to. Don’t take that risk.

(8) Leave the apartment. Go down the stairs, cross through Club Rouge, and exit the building out the back door. Fill the food and water bowls you keep out for the local stray cats.

(9) Don’t give any stray cats you see a name, because you can’t let yourself get too attached to them. Contemplate taking one in anyway.

(10) Run any errands for the day now so you don’t have to later. Shopping early in empty stores relaxes you, while shopping afternoons and evenings in crowded stores irritates you. If there are no errands to be done, go back into the apartment and find something to read for a few hours.

(11) In the late morning, you will likely be contacted by someone asking for your assistance. It might by someone from the Restoration. It might be the one of the detectives trying to follow up on a lead. It could be any number of things. Whether or not you decide you’re above helping them will depend on your mood that day. Except when the request is to watch a young rabbit while her mother is out of the house. That you cannot deny unless you have a damn good reason.

(12) Don’t hold hope in the back of your brain that he will reach out for your help too. Don’t admit that if he made the smallest request, you would fulfill it, even if you sighed and glared and grit your teeth the whole time.

(13) At midday, get lunch. Keep the apartment’s fridge stocked with easy meals in case you need to decompress there. If you need to keep moving instead, there are plenty of restaurants to go to on the way to your favorite forest spot. Pick something up from one of those and head there.

(14) Eat alone again. Spend some time staring out at the beautiful scenery. Think through anything you need to (it’s not brooding, no matter what anyone says).

(15) Find somewhere to train for the afternoon. Stay in the forest, or go to Club Rouge’s basement, or visit a gym. It doesn’t matter where you go, so long as there is somewhere to run, or something to hit. Somewhere empty is still preferable to somewhere crowded so you don’t get distracted. Theoretically.

(16) Theoretically, because wherever you choose, no matter how quiet or remote, he will somehow turn up. He always seems to know where you’re heading for this — like he can read your mind. Act as if that frustrates you.

(16) He’ll challenge you to a race, or to a fight. Try to deny him. Try to remain alone. Try to ignore the way his emerald eyes stare at you, fond and competitive. Fail.

(17) Have some of the most fun you’ve ever had. Even though you’ve given in to it so many times, letting off steam with him will never stop being the most fun you’ve ever had. It will seem better every time. Pretend it’s an imposition. Pretend that you’re glad to be rid of him when he finally prepares to leave, even though you will want to grab his arm and beg him for another challenge. Pretend that being alone again is a relief. Pretend until you almost believe it yourself.

(18) Reject his invitation to dinner and go right back to the apartment. Your roommate should be home by this time, unless her heist is particularly treacherous. She will likely suggest getting takeout, because she doesn’t care to cook. You can try to suggest where, but she’ll probably decide on her own anyway. She knows what’s good, though, so don’t get too annoyed about it.

(19) Eat with your roommate if she gives you space. Eat alone in your room if she asks too many questions, or pesters you about when you’re going to say something to him. She won’t take “never” as an answer, so it’s not worth the trouble.

(20) Don’t wish that you’d accepted his invitation to eat.

(21) Take time to truly unwind before bed. Finish your book, or rewatch that anime you like, or stare up at the ceiling and let yourself zone out. Go for a walk with your roommate, if she hasn’t been a pain.

(22) Don’t waste your final few hours of the day wondering how he’s spending his.

(23) Once the clock hits 11pm, go straight to bed. Fall asleep in a timely manner.

(24) Don’t notice the silence. Don’t fill the silence with your mind. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him.

(25) Tell yourself that these feelings are a fluke. Tell yourself they’ll fade over time. Try to forget that they haven’t faded since you discovered them months ago. Try to forget that the feelings probably started way back when, on your second fall to Earth.

(26) Convince yourself that tomorrow will be the day you deal with it, once and for all. Don’t imagine what you might do to “deal with it”, because you really don’t know, but you know it must be done.

(27) Fall asleep.

.

.

.

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make blueberry pancakes.

[wrathofrats]

Day 11: marking/ breath play

Prompts by @kroas-adtam

Swiss and dew have to be weird about the face paint bc its fucking swiss and dew

“Honestly I wished they’d just give me a balaclava at this point” Swiss sighed as he looked up meeting dews gaze.

It was always hard for dew to not stare at Swiss while he put his face paint on. The black paint covered the tips of his fingers as he smeared it onto his face and mouth. Swiss claimed it was faster than using a sponge, and less wasteful. Always mumbling something about not being bothered to actually do it properly, it was going to smear anyways.

“Harder to breathe though, and you can’t sing. Think I rather have the paint”

Swiss squirted another thick glob of paint into his hands, rubbing it around before wiping on the other cheek. He took special care to get it into his stubble, tried to get as even of a coat as he could, even if it would be faded and streaky within the hour. His fingers left marks on his face as he worked, lines and texture coming through once it started to get tacky.

“Eh, you could just put a hole in the fabric”

The entirety of his hands were covered in the stuff now, The rough calluses and veins sharply outlined. Swiss’ hands were so big, especially compared to dew, long thick fingers completely stained an inky black, faded to grey around his wrists. He doesn’t even know how Swiss could get that messy in the time they had. He doesn’t think he cares anyways.

“Wouldn’t that look stupid?”

Swiss just shrugs.

“Do I look ok?” He smiles

“Same as you always do”

Swiss leans on his elbow to stand up and push his chair back. He raises his hands in the air to attempt to not get the paint anywhere else. The venue's vanity still winds up getting black streaks on it, but they’ll clean it up later.

“Can you help me wash this off?” Swiss asks

Dew looks at him confused, Swiss usually does it himself. A quick run to the bathroom and he’s usually out in 5 minutes to start grabbing things from the crew. They don’t have much time anyways, about 15 minutes to call, nothing about the plan makes sense.

It was hard to get used to the chaos. Swiss always making up convoluted plans that end up with someone in trouble, or hurt, and on the off chance everything went right it usually still wasn’t a good idea in the first place. He doesn’t know he says yes, but he does anyways.

“Do you just use soap or-“ dews statement is cut off as Swiss quickly pulls him into a bathroom, slamming the door and clicking the lock in one swift motion before backing dew up against the wall.

“We don’t have fucking time for this swiss” dew tries to push against his chest and slip past him with a sigh. He knows these plans don’t end well for him, especially not when he has to be on stage in 13 minutes.

“Saw the way you were staring at me droplet” he gives Dew a crooked smile, white teeth contrasting sharply against the black paint. “Know you love the way my hands look like this”

“Shut up, can you just be weird later?”

“Cmon, you said you rather have the paint right?”

Dew rolls his eyes “you know what I meant, move”

Swiss wraps his hand around the back of dews head, thumbing at his lips, “hold still, gonna make you real fucking pretty”

Dew stops moving and watches Swiss intently, he smears the still wet paint on his hands onto dews lips and cheek where he holds him, the bitter chemical taste invading his taste buds. His cock kicks in his pants as Swiss’ thumb runs down his chin, hand wrapping around his throat.

“Just want to mark you as mine sweetheart, said you wanted this didn’t you?”

Dew hates the way Swiss smirks at him. He hates his confidence. He hates that he’s completely right. His senses are filled with the plasticy smell of the face paint and Swiss’ cologne as Swiss’ grip starts to get tighter, a warning, waiting for dew to tell him no.

He doesn’t.

The heel of his hand digs into his throat, cutting off his air supply. Dew closes his eyes and leans his head back against the cool concrete wall as his brain goes fuzzy at the edges, waiting for Swiss to let up.

Swiss releases the pressure around dews neck, “alright droplet?”

Dew nods, meekly whispering “again”

“Thought you said you didn’t want it” Swiss mocks, complying easily as dew lets out a short whine before Swiss’s hand tightens again. “That’s ok, know you like be to marked as mine. Gonna keep this on all night?”

Dew nods once again, letting himself completely embrace the feeling, now fully hard in his pants.

“Let anyone who sees you with paint around your throat know what I did to you, wonder if theyll know how much you wanted it”

[dinomite2]

Oscar and Rose (Pranks)

Another skit For @sodapoppss !

It was a beautiful morning for today and Oscar just woke for today, he got up and went to get some Breakfast

Oscar: Ok fridge let's see what you have for tod-

*Splat* Oscar was just hit by a sprung pie

Oscar: *inhale* *sigh* Okay reaaaal funny Rose Real funny laugh yourself up while you're at it haha just got my just desserts....

Oscar searched the kitchen for the paper towels or a rag to clean his face

Oscar: Ok where are those paper towels I swear I stored them in the top cabi-

*Splat* Oscar was hit by another pie causing him to slip fall

Its on

*Raspberry*

*Later*

Rose: *humming anarchy rainbow* hmm? *sees Bag of candy *

Rose: *reading bag* For Oscar DONT EAT OR OPEN im looking at you Rose, well I'd like to see you try *opens bag*

*BANG* Rose was blasted hard by a bagful confetti from the fake candy bag

.... Ok Oscar I swear to COD I'm going to kick you FUC%I#@ AS-

*Later outside*

Oscar was outside taking a small walk. that was until

*Laughing*

Oscar: hmm ? Hey What's going on around HE-

On a community board there was a picture of Oscar as a baby crying in a potty trainer

Oscar quickly rips the picture off the board and hides the picture behind his back

Random female inkling: Aww come on Oscar We don't even Know who the Baby is! Haha!

Oscar:*embarrassed* Hehe yeah... *walks away from crowd *

Rose im going strangle the $%/T out of you someday......

*Later *

Rose: Hey Oscar I going to take a bath soon see you

Oscar: Ok dont just take 50 minutes just to finish damn scrubbing yourself

Rose: I WON'T! Jesus Christ....

Rose Then went to the washroom to of course to wash herself but Oscar had a little surprise for her.

.

.

.

.

.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT FUCKING BURNS!!!!!!!

Oscar replaced Rose's shampoo with Szechuan peppercorns which are known to be Very hot

*SLAM*

Rose busted open the door with a towel covered over her and of course

Rose: ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS EVERYTIME I TAKE A FUCKING BATH!?

Oscar: Hey hey its your fault for Staying in the washroom for a whole hour Not mine

*Later Again*

Both Oscar and Rose were both cautiously walking around the house being careful about what tricks they could pull on each other that was until they both met

.

.

.

Oscar: um ok I think it's safe to admit that this prank war has gone too far I can't even wake up right without something popping up to ruin my morning

Rose: Yeah and I think I've developed a rash in a few certain....... areas...

*Sniker* Rose looked back with an "Are you serious" face

Rose: Ok look I'm sorry I took things too far its just that I wanted a little satisfaction from my pranks you kno-

Oscar: stuffing over 13 pidgons into my afro is not Satisfactory-

Rose: IM BEING EMPATHETIC HERE OK!? NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH *sigh* look all I'm saying that I want a truce ok so are ok? *holds out hand*

Oscar: Eh Ok truce *holds Rose's hand*

*Bzzzzsssttt!* Oscar was shocked by a joy buzzer by Rose

Hehe whadda you think of that eh?

Oscar stares then proceeds to strangle Rose

Enjoy!

[nutzworth]

its 6/12! i HAVE to read homestuck! i didnt read ANY last month. oops

DAY 9: JUNE 12, 2024

STATS: read for 2 hours and 30 minutes pages read: 1903-2068. 165 pages. act 5!!!!!! page 2000! slur count: 13 + 0 = 13 silly count: 13 + 0 = 13 piss count: 2/3

THOUGHTS: ohhh my god. ok not much original thought here but by god did a lot happen

ok LOTS OF TROLLS. this time. but we will get into that later

johnkat is so funny. karkat just kind of sucks. i guess were getting into it now HES SO FUNNY! hes so mean. esp to his troll friends in act 5. he has no whimsy and no fun. he loves to lie. hes oppressed hes a MUTANT yet he wants to join the military. even though the military would KILL HIM for being who he is. ohhh my god. his clean ass room. his romcoms. he loves romcoms. he sucks at programming. he keysmashes in here WHATEVER. back to the kids

soooo much guardian lore... so much LORE. i love nanna and i love pa harley. and their upbringing THEYRE SO WEIRD.

(about pa harley) ADVENTURE!!!! oh my god. "She can handle it, he tells her. He believes in her." AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOPE PLAYER! i love the hope aspect im gonna go crazy in act 6 when jake is there. but right now? this is FOOD. im EATING IT UP!

michael guy bowman is so john egbert voice. its canon that dave strider is a whiteboy and that michael guy bowman is literally john egbert and thats IT.

dave is being so rude and mean to terezi. for the girl that said to john "WOW. MAKING FUN OF A BLIND GIRL? FUCKED UP!!!!!" she sure does turn a blind eye (LOOOL) to dave being like "yeah me and this guy? all up best friends. you know why? we can both see. and were going to this see party and theres so much shit and paintings and its great. to look at. and FUCK YOU. for being BLIND." and terezis cackling about her wonderful D4V3 1S TH1S YOU? drawings. theyre funny

[S] DESCEND!!!!!!!!! oh my god. what a flash. this would make me crazy if i was an upd8 reader. JACK NOIR IS INSANE. HE JUST KILLS EVERYONE! the music is sooo good too. it matches so well. its SCARY.

speaking of jack noirs destruction: ok here's more about wv. this is probably so surface level but it drives me crazy i need to restate it ok wv is a regular ass farmer. hes normal. the WAR comes. hes like GOD THIS SUCKS! he starts a revolution. he unites both sides. hes radical hes powerful and by god is he AWESOME. he faces jack noir. him and his big ass army. jack noir KILLS ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE ALL DEAD! except wv. which hussie puts it in the recap "Jack then killed the entire rebellion army, sparing only WV?. Perhaps to leave a survivor to tell the story, or perhaps out of respect for a fellow mutineer. Only he knows." WHAT????? WHAT!???? OKAY and so wv is surrounded by his brethren. his friends. his army. ALL DEAD. and at the same time prospit falls to skaia. and out from it is johns dream self. and a PLUSHIE. OF JACK NOIR.

this is insane. its like humiliating. its awful. its like jack is laughing at wv's face. oh my god. anyway wv rips it apart and hes real for that. I LOVE YOU WV!!!!!!!!!!!

not to mention PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me just put some badass images in here. so you know

SHES SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes pissed off shes SO pissed off. she kills hb and uses his walkie talkie to call over jack noir. shes standing on that hill with the blood of jack's coworker flowing in the adjacent creek holding both the crowns covered in blood. she gets the promised package and SHOVES it in johns arms and storms off. shes PISSED OFF!!!! RIGHTFULLY SO! OH MY GOD!

and then the PACKAGE.... obviously you KNOW im crazy about the jake english cameo. but also....

this made me crazy. i like almost cried. oh my god. shes JUST DEAD. ON THE FLOOR. JOHNS SITTING THERE READING THESE LETTERS AND JADE IS DEAD!!!! IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob. oh my god. and he sheds One tear. and then jack comes to kill him

i loooove how homestuck goes panel-heavy sometimes... along with the short "a [...] is [...]. [...], [...]." which makes no sense in writing. let me give you some examples

i love it. it makes the reading more poetic and slow. its like, make your own opinions on the subject matter. its matter-of-fact. its simple. its SAD. its like this event is so disconnected from everything were going in third person to describe it. its curt and its AWESOME. I LOVE IT!!!! i think if skaia had dialogue or narration or anything this is what it would sound like. it would give you pictures and a short description, and it would say "go fetch".

ok recap. not much but hussie says "Back in the meteor lab, John began the ectobiology session which appeared to have been prepared for him in advance by the guardians who had just been there." which i think is so cute. the guardians prepared it FOR him.... homestuck is truly a story about kids and the things that control/lead them. guardians/skaia/fate/each other/first guardians(bec, doc scratch). even the story itself. so awesome

THEN ACT 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the silly name for alternia translates to "turd odor fuckball" which is funny. and karkats silly name translates to "nookstain bulgereek" which makes sense

whats REALLY interesting to me is karkats parallels with dave. even in these first few pages karkat is SO SIMILAR to him. both slice their teasing names in half and say that they dont have time. theyre "Kind of a big deal, ok?". they have a need to seem "cool". karkat narration has the line "This was not the coolest thing you could have done just now." which threw me for a loop: i never thought of karkat needing to seem Cool. but he does he wants to. hes a leader. he pretends to be a leader. he doesnt want to show to sollux that he thinks highly of him cus he needs to seem COOL. i love karkat

alternia is a planet full of tragedy. they need to sleep in sopor slime to assuage the nightmares of "blood and carnage". theyre surrounded by so much evil and destruction that they need DRUGS EVERY NIGHT to be normal. auuugh.

honestly i pity gamzee waaaay more than i pity karkat. karkat has it good for all i care in the beginning. hes just not sharing his blood color. GAMZEE THOUGH? everyone thinks hes annoying. you can tell hussie writes him as if he's a joke; its clear hussie hates gamzees character and wants you to hate him too. but i cant. hes a hippie and an addict and a black boy. and i feel SO BAD that hes written like that. he could have been great if he wasnt in this situation :-( im sorry gamzee

rip sollux you would have loved reddit

karkat at the end of the karkat/sollux convo kills me. "hey i know we just bantered about how much we hate each other and stuff, but are we still friends?" hes so cute. are we still friends. yeah... yeah. and sollux is like "you say this EVERY TIME. are you joking" and karkats like "Yeah. Yeah im joking haha. Sure am" the poor guy. just wants friends THEYRE JUST KIDS!!!!!! SOB!!

i love terezi. shes so ANNOYING. and i love her for it. shes just fooling around all the time. she wants to piss people off. "Ohhhh karkat youre sooooo handsome and heroic!" hahahahahaha. she does NOT care. "But all of your scalemates are alive to you. ... At least you pretend to believe that to annoy people." SHES SO FUNNY! she gives NO fucks. i love how shes drawn too

then karkat comes in all like HEY TEREZI. IM THE LEADER!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU! what an asshole. but terezi dont care. you know what she does? "lol ok." and then "yeah the leader goes on this badass and seriously cool heroic adventure and hes awesome. and me (the second in command) gets to sit down and do nothing and be bored and its no fun" and karkats like "YEAHHH!!!! IM THE HERO! WOOOO!" and then it cuts to the actual game and terezis been fooling around with her gamey god powers. hahahahahahaha so awesome

okay thats it. i love aradia i saw like 2 of her. maaaybe ill read more this summer :-) bye bye thanks!

[krikeymate]

When Sam is 11 years old, she hears about a couple of kids in school who were taken by the CPS and she’s not really sure what that means, so when her classmates start talking, she quietly freaks the fuck out.

Because everything they’re saying sounds somewhat familiar. “Their parents wouldn’t make them meals for days” “the heater was off” “they would stay hours after school because no one picked them up”

Now it wasn’t that bad in the carpenters home but it wasn’t good either and Sam was smart enough to know what would happen to her and Tara if someone caught wind of what was going on.

The idea of Tara, small innocent Tara, being taken away from her almost killed her instantly. So, she goes home that day and does everything in her power to make herself and Tara look as presentable and healthy as possible.

She makes sure that Tara’s clothes are very clean and that they fit (they hardly ever fit so Sam dresses in clothes for 5 year olds when she’s 7/8, they look comfy and fit her much better), she learns how to cook quick meals (worried that an adult would question Tara about her meals or the groceries in their fridge), learns how to braid hair so everyone can see that Tara is taken care of, helps Tara with all her schoolwork even if it takes hours, and so much more.

She’ll be damned if someone takes her baby sister away from her because nothing matters to her other than Tara being happy, healthy, and more importantly safe…so how does she explain that to herself when the circumstances force her to leave Tara behind years later?

How terribly tragic, the pain. I usually have Sam being warned not to talk about her home life because she will lose her sister from her mother, but somehow this is worse - because her mother doesn't even care, she has to learn this is a risk from playground gossip.

I think it all comes down to the same kind of thing when we make the backstory so awful and Sam still leaves. Why does she leave?

Because by the time Tara is 13, their life is relatively stable, and Tara is old enough to look after herself in many - in most - ways. From Sam's perspective, it was a household of neglect not abuse (neglect of course is actually abuse). But her mother is paying the bills and leaving them money and leaving them to their own devices. Tara's doing ok in school, her asthma is stable, and she has some friends now. She doesn't need Sam taking care of her 24/7. So, Tara's in a good place. But Sam isn't. She's hooked on too much, all too aware that she's an addict, and she sees how sad her sister looks when she sees her, drunk or high or passed out on the floor. She started using because she wanted to forget, but the more she took, the more she remembered. A voice in her head would tell her that she's just like her father, that she'll snap, that she'll hurt her sister. If she took more she could drown out the voice. And she's so angry these days, unable to control herself as she tries to wean herself off. She wants to get better for her sister, for herself. She can't be here anymore, she can't wait another 5 years for Tara to be able to leave before she can escape, she needs to go now. But Tara will be fine, she's doing so well. She doesn't need to be coddled by her big sister all the time. And Sam's only going away for a little bit, she'll be back, she just needs to get out of town for a little while.

I 100% believe that when Sam leaves, she never intended to stay away. She leaves to get clean, she gets a job, she gets stable herself... and then the hallucinations begin. No longer fueled by drugs and alcohol. She can't go back to her sister with the spectre of her father in her vision.

Why couldn't she stay in contact with Tara? The temptation. It's too much. It would be too tempting to return home before she's ready, to put herself back in a bad situation. And by the time she is in a better place, she's overwhelmed by the hallucinations and what this means and the fear of being like her father and hurting her sister returns, no longer hidden behind the fog of substance abuse.

[qichonen]

if someone reads this and it sounds stupid tell me asap pretty pleaseeeeee ok?

right so i hate the idea of having kids but i dont.

i came to the conclusion that having children would be the worst thing to happen ever to me when i was 12 or 13 – and this was fresh off the heels of me doing research / finding out about disproportionate maternal death rates amongst women of color + the origin of modern day gynecology etc etc.

in my mind, not only did i have this sudden fear that getting pregnant in life would result in an early death, but the idea of being around screaming children and spending hours stressing over babies also plagued me.

— that's really dramatic for a 7th grader but im an only child (surprise to no one) who used to have this weird obsession w like... being upset id never be an aunt. idk i was weird but anyways...

putting that depressing atmosphere aside, im getting to a point where i think i wouldn't mind having a family later on in life (in my 30s maybe?). ive been transitioning out of the corny "love isnt real and couples are cringe" mindset since i was 15 and the idea of being able to find someone you love and trust, settling down somewhere with them, growing with them, and building each other up is something i daydream of nowadays. maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me, but whatever.

but i feel like having kids would be a sort of extension of that.

i always wondered why anybody would have children (outside of humans' natural survival instinct/societal pressure lol), and always chalked it up to selfishness and a person's need to "prove" themselves in some way. to prove they have some sort of purpose. because 14yo me was just wildly pessimistic ig.

but ive started to think harder and realize that if i were to ever have kids, it would be for the simple joy of them being a product of love.

fuck, that's corny. 😭

i think having children and being able to raise them with a genuine partner / significant other is such a beautiful concept. you get to raise these human beings from the start of their life to the moment they're ready and able to be independent. you create memories and essentially mold them, making your child a literal and figurative extension of yourself whilst simultaneously creating a new, unique personality. not only is that sooo fucking cool, but it's proof of the love YOU hold within you.

but the theory of conception and parenthood on its own... at least my theory... i just dont hate it as much i used to i guess.

of course, not everyone is privileged enough to have a simple or clean upbringing – and i fully understand that this post comes across very idyllic and kind of... silly? in that regard.

what would i know, though, lol.

[daemon-404]

when i was 13, i was kicked off of discord for being too young. my dearest friends were in there, and i didn't have any way to tell them; i didn't want them to think something bad had happened to me. so i made a new account.

i didn't want my parents to find out i was still using it. so i made a plan.

i- a 13 y/o, who didn't know jack about computers- followed my shortcut to the original file in the local appdata folder. i renamed the program to h0mb0g.exe, like humbug (beats me why, it sounded like the name of a chatroom program). i didn't want it to show up as "discord" in the weekly summary email microsoft sent to my parents.

that wasn't enough. i hid it. i hid it deep in a subdirectory in the local appdata folder. i hid it in the folder for vivaldi, the browser i somehow got that wasn't restricted by parental controls at the time. i created a new shortcut.

that wasn't enough. i wanted to make sure that if my parents found out, i would still have a backup. even if they restricted every browser and i couldn't download anything ever again, i wanted to have discord. so i downloaded it again.

let's have an interlude to talk about wondershare filmora. my beloathed. i had gotten it because it was free and had good reviews, but i didn't like the watermarks it left on my videos. so, i uninstalled it in the only way i knew how to at the time: i deleted as many files as i could find easily with its name on them. predictably, i started with the shortcut, which naturally only got it out of my line of sight, and i was frustrated upon finding the .exe and all its corresponding (at the time) incomprehensible files. i deleted those. then i found out about appdata and hidden files. i went through, looking for a place to put my new h0mb0g.exe, and was incredibly frustrated to see a folder there with wondershare's horrid name on it. i had had ENOUGH of this mid-ass, self-valorizing, stupid horrible useless program. so i got rid of the contents.

i hid the second discord in the now-empty wondershare folder in local data. this was still not enough. i dropped in another now-empty folder called shimeji-ee (anyone remember those?) and put it in there. with shimeji-ee full of discord and tucked safely away where no one would ever think to check, i proceeded to change the properties to "hidden."

everything was perfect.

4 years later, i'm freeing up space on my disk by looking for old files i could delete (it's the easiest way, don't @ me). vivaldi. i have no use for that anymore, this computer is mine now and the regular browsers are good for me. delete.

wondershare. i think to myself: i could never really get rid of it, could i? i think to myself: now that i know about computers, it's over, buster.

i can't delete it. something inside of it... is still open? weird. i can't figure it out, and i'm tired as fuck so i just call my dad (a programmer) over and ask him if it's possible to see what a program is open in. he tells me about this program called WhoLockMe, i get it, we spend about half an hour running command lines through powershell since my searchbar is bugging out so i can't search 'cmd' to get the regular command up and we can't find it through the alphabetical search. through this process, we fail to get wholockme open. then he tries to force the deletion of the wondershare file. it doesn't work. 'it's open', my pc insists, 'it's being used somewhere.'

we cannot figure it out. we really can't. i'm confused. i open the file. shimeji-ee???? i still have that???? what the fuck is that open in????? we try to forcefully delete that. it doesn't work. i ask my dad to give my computer back- in our search through installed programs i'd seen a few free demos that have run out and i think that'll work for cleaning up. ok, he goes back to reading his book. if nothing else, i can re-open shimeji-ee and see what's up with that. i open it.

discord is in there.

it all comes crashing back.

hysterics. i can't stop laughing. "it's not that funny," my dad says, "we have to think about how it got there! what if something was messed up?" (i'm paraphrasing). i can't tell him this whole thing, naturally, so i just say, 'oh no dad, i put it there, years ago.

i don't know why.'

that's not all, because here's the cherry on top-!

i restart my computer to reset the buggy search bar, and i go to tell my discord homies all about this, since we'll all get a kick out of it.

the shortcut isn't working. it says its target has been deleted or moved. it says, 'h0mb0g.exe cannot be found.'

it was THE OTHER ONE for 4 YEARS. my discord hotbar shortcut has been a remnant of my absolutely fucking insane 13 y/o self for 4 years. (i assume the reason "shimeji-ee" wasn't deleting was because it was running in the background or something as discord usually does).

i can not stop laughing.

[bacchicly]

List time...but surprise today is actually a good day! I just need to get things outta my head to make sure I get my timing right...

Ok so I just put a pork roast in for dinner and it is currently searing at 4:25.... Turn down to 350 in 13 mins.. (likely around the time I post this)

Veggies gonna be:

- canned cream corn (heat 5 mins before serving)

- apple sauce made with the apples I am roasting with the pork (fish out and smash - possibly add more apple - out when I take out the roast to rest)

- baked carrots and parsnips (5 start prep)

Personal To Do List (listed in order of priority)

Install new latch on cupboard under sink

Clean up/ practice demo I am doing tomorrow at work

Pack for prompt departure in the morning to work for presentation in the morning

Pack for trip I am taking later this week (this is shocking I am a throw things madly in a plastic bag madly before I leave person - which I hate)

Work clothing; IT; meds; toiletries; jewelry; makeup?; find damn sunglasses and things I need to drop off at head office

Further (spend an hour more?) on my new budget tracking spreadsheet - after trying other people's solutions and failing...I am trying attempt #4567923 to get on top of family finances. This time I am prioritising a blended bi-weekly/monthly approach that I sort of do naturally. I am also building it around my actual payweek schedule. And have "coded" it to analyse based on those patterns.... I.e. what happens when it is a 3 payweek month versus a 2 payweek month? What are 1st paycheck of the month expenses vs end of the month? We'll see if this time actually helps for awhile. Sigh. I suck at all of this. Oh well if nothing else...when you talk about working/middle/academic/artist class people funneling their money back into the economy instead of saving...and how important that can be... Well let's just say I see myself in that picture...and I am torn about how I feel about it. Money is a huge source of shame for me.

Re-attach eye patches on Stringbean - take photos and share

Ok so here's the timeline based on all that...I am only putting in the musts and then I am going to come back and fill in what I achieve:

It's 3pm (as I type) and I've turned down the oven:

1 am - sleep - alarm set for 7 am

Key time points working backwards:

1 am / 2 am... Who is counting

10ish - kid to sleep

11:30ish - husband home

Got kid to sleep by 10:20... Then tackled more work. Got it done eventually. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

6:30 - latest time to serve dinner

9:15 - drive to hockey & home

Helped with purple hair washing; but also did some work work. Didn't have to drive... Husband got ride.

8:00 to 9:00 - kid bath, jammies & reading

Fed people at 6:45...before that tried to do some work work but my computer needed charging so I did more on the family budget.

6:20 - call folks to wash hands, plate, choose documentary for dinner, cats in "cat jail" (we keep them out of the dinning area for fancier meals since they have terrible table manners)

6:15 - heat corn

6:00 - take out meat to rest and tackle applesauce

5:15 - carrots and parsnips in oven

Put parsnips & carrots in oven early. Now I have an hour to do some work. I wish I had an office.

5:00 - start carrot and parsnip prep

Work through personal to do list for 2.5 hours

Finished doing the latch...but I had to use armature wire to create a custom latch for the one side...apparently I should have bought a bigger latch.

3:20 - post my list

2:45 - write list

[hopelessboii]

Pity party (M! Reader)

A boy was sitting in his seat as he happily write a letter, his friend come approach him. "Hey, M/N, what are you doing?" He asked, M/N reached his bag and take a finished letter and give it to him. "My birthday is coming up, please come." He said with a grin on his face, his friend, Kei smiled, he put the letter in his pants pocket. "Oh, of course I will come! Can't let my friend celebrate his birthday alone!" He giggled, M/N pack his things and give the letter to all of his friends..

M/N has decorated his house, he even cook the food alone because his parents say that they have a business trip, M/N feel suspicious at first but he just slip the feeling away. 'I can't wait!' He thought and grin happily..

10:00 am

10:40am

11:54 am

12:01 am..

Just one more hour and they'll come..

12:46 am

13:00

Just a little minute..

13:10

They didn't come... They lied.. His phone ringed, he picked his phone, it was a call from Kei. "Hello? Kei? " M/N spoke. "M/N, I'm sorry to inform you that my parents and me was on my grandmother house because she was sick.." He said, M/N felt like he was betrayed.. Liars... He just see a picture where Kei and his family going to vacation... "Oh, ok..." M/N simply said as he hung up, he hugged his knee.. His friends supposed to come, they suppose to celebrate his birthday party together.. M/N can't even sleep at night because he was very excited, but seem like it was useless... M/N called one of his friend, asking why didn't they come, his friend only said that he was busy... M/N get up and sit in the chair, M/N cut the cake. "Happy birthday.." He whispered as he start eating the cake with a frown on his face... They all liars... M/N parents were just on a vacation, Kei too.. His friends was all at home, not even busy....

M/N didn't come out from his room at the next day, he lock himself up... M/N parents were at home, they see the half destroyed decorations and half eaten cake, the food isn't touched yet... "M/N! Why didn't you clean the mess!?" His mother ask him from outside of his room, loud sob can be heard.. "No one come to my party..." M/N sobbed, his voice was raspy as if he cried for an hours... "I don't see why's that the reason to leave the house mess and cry for an hours just because no one celebrated your party!! It was just a party!!" His mother scolded him, just a party... But M/N work hard on it... He believe that his friends and parents would celebrate it with him... He feel betrayed.. They didn't hear anything.. A minute later they hear a loud glass shattered and hit the floor from M/N's room. "M/N!! OPEN THE DOOR!!" His mother yelled. No response.. M/N's father kicked the door until it opened... M/N's room was a real mess... Glass was on the floor, the cover was torn apart, his clothes were at the floor, half rated cake... But more important M/N wasn't there.... They reach the window and see no one....

M/N was running away, he run to the top of a building.. It may sound stupid but he feel like no one really cared about him.... Everyday his friend would celebrate their birthday M/N isn't invited, when it's Christmas no sight of present at his room, and now his birthday.. No one come.. Kei always so toxic to him... He just become friend with M/N out of pity, he was secretly spreading bad rumors about the boy... One more step and then he die, if he step he can't return back.. He choose to step.. He was falling really fast from the building...

[tarjapearce]

Quite The Unexpected (Pt. 13)

Pairings: Aiden Pearce x Fem! Reader

WARNING: EMOTIONAL DISCOMFORT, MILD ANGST, GORE, MENTIONS OF DEATH, MILD FLUFF, MILD SEXUAL TENSION. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!!!

You pulled a new set of IVs and prepared them. Then with a swab of damp cotton you cleaned his hands and looked for a vein that would hold the IV needle. You could see his hands clenched and you tapped one of them softly.

"Relax. You'll make the needle harder to get in." He exhaled and you put the IVs. Then, you prepared the serum.

"What's in there?" He asked as he looked on the serum bag.

"Some diluted analgesics " You then secured the serum bag and began wiping his hand.

"You'll help me to hold some clamps"

"What?"

"Well, as much as I'd like to perform the surgery on my own, is impossible. You'll hold the clamps as I stitch up. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

You huffed. The sudden buzz of the phone interrupted both of you and you sighed.

"Stay still." You warned and retrieved his phone.

"It's T-Bone. I mean, Raymond."

He cocked an eyebrow to you and his mouth went on a straight line.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Raymond. Eh! I mean... Raymond. Sorry, it's an habit."

"How's Aiden?"

"Awake, but it's unable to talk right now. Will stitch him up."

"Ok. Ok. Gotcha. Will call you soon."

"Within an hour would be great."

"Gotcha. Ok. Goodluck, doc."

"Again, I'm a nurse. One that must desinfect her hands again thanks to your call."

"Haha. Sorry. I'll call later."

You hung up and put the phone on the tv stand. You then threw away the gloves, washed your hands and replaced them with new ones to then sanitize them again. 

"You picked uo the call."

"Of course. The thing was buzzing nonstop before. And before you start getting angry, you should thank Raymond. He got us the things we needed. And told me you were an idiot, and to call him if I needed anything else or if something happened." 

He rubbed his face with the non-cleansed hand.

"Give it back."

"Can't do. You'll speak to him after surgery. You can't risk to bring bacteria."

"Can we get this started?"

"Actually? No. I'll call Erik."

You rolled your eyes upon him glaring at you by the sarcastic comment.

"The more reasons to get out soon."

"What? Don't like him?" You mirthed as you sanitized the wounded area. He hissed softly as the iodine made contact with his raw skin, then you applied the local anesthetics.

"Funny. But No. I actually don't."

"Too bad. I do. And alot." He went silent as you examinated the area, deciding wich part you'd stitch up first.

"Once the area is numb, I'll get some small forceps to take a better look at the wound. Hopefully there isn't any glass remain inside or etched to your skin."

"Where did you met him?" Aiden stared at the ceiling as you both awaited for the anesthetics to kick in.

"None of your business." Aiden chuckled and looked at you.

"After snooping on my things, is the least I can know."

"You're not investigating him, are you?" His silence always felt the announcer of bad news.

"What have you found out about him?"

"None of your business." He rebutted and you scoffed.

"T-Bone was right. You're an idiot." You pulled the armamentarium table next to you and you started to poke around the wound, earning a hissing on his behalf.

"Seems anesthesics need more time."

"You just put them on." He grunted.

"They don't take that much actually. In any case. We have time."

"No, you have time. I'm supposed to be out."

"Hunting on the bad people? Despite having your body injured? How heroic."

"Are you done?"

"Not really, but mocking you isn't fun. You're so boring."

"I'm not here to make you laugh."

"Oh, that's for sure. I mean, you've already made me cry, and now given me a death scare. Can't go beyond that. But it's better to not challenge you."

Your tone changed from a sarcastic one, to a more serious and kind of saddened one. You could see him looking at you, but again, you refused to meet his eyes, instead, you focused on putting on some sticky tape on the IV needle to prevent it from falling down.

The only noises in the room were your breathing through the mask, your hands reaching for the sterilized tools to organize them and the drip dropping of the serum in the catheter.

"It's odd when you're silent. You always have something to say." He admitted.

"I've got nothing much to speak to be honest." You shrugged.

"To me, specifically?"

"Exactly."

"I see." Aiden accomodated his dangling feet and sighed.

"Where did you meet Erik?" His tone serious, yet calm. Again, the questioning was nagging at your nerves.

"You're investigating him. You should know."

"Personal responses to personal questions aren't found online. Besides, I wanna make sure you are in good hands once I'm done here."

Your heart skipped a beat and you looked at him for a coupe of seconds before focusing your gaze in his wound. 

"It's the least I can do to... honor Clara's words. She asked me to look out for you if anything happened."

"I see." You shook your head softly and poked his side. He still was squeamish, but didn't jumped or hissed.

"Thats why I ask-"

"The anesthesics are doing effect. So, in a minute or so, you'll... eh.." you cleared your throat upon the knot forming, "You'll feel nothing."

I wish I couldn't feel as well

There was a new silence again. You were still processing his words. Somehow you felt again conflicted. You were surprised to know that Clara somehow looked for a way to ensure your safety. But the other part felt like an illusion that had been just shattered. All this time you thought of him a friend that had hurted you, but at the end of the day he was just doing amission.

Your eyes wanted to cry, but you supressed them tears. You had work ahead. You could cry in the night.

The idea alone of you scheduling your emotions seemed way too sad that was funny. You chuckled and exhaled. You heard his voice calling you, but again, you were no longer looking at him, you felt ashamed. Shame to even dare to think he cared, or that you could befriend him. The urge to cry and hide felt stronger.

Nausea overtook you, but you just swallowed the emotions and got your mind set on work.

"(Name)?"

"Sorry. Got lost in thought. Uhm you're ready." You poked him and he no longer hissed or jumped. He just remained still.

"When I tell you to hold the clamps, you hold them."

"Are you alright?"

Stop pretending you care.

"Yeah. Let's get this over with." You prepared the forceps by sanitizing them and the stitching needle all as you bit your lip to prevent it from trembling in anger.

"Let me know if you feel any discomfort." You cleared your throat upon feeling it break. You had prepared lots of syringes with sterile solution to clean the insides. You pushed in the forceps and stretched the tissue. To your surprise there were some glass remains insides. Luckly they didn't pierced any further.

You grabed the tweezers and pulled them out carefully as they landed with a soft 'clank' on the recipient. The first syringe was used to wash away.

"The peritonium isn't damaged. Wich is good."

"Meaning?"

"The bulled just grazed you superficially. It wasn't a whole gunshot. I mean" you dabbed away the excess of fluids and started to do the stitching. "This person's intent was to shoot you, but guess it missed. Or else you'd be in a hospital by now."

"So, the glass was causing the bleeding?"

"Exactly. Fine shards did the greater damage. But they're no longer inside."

You continued stitching. It felt good to keep your mind busy. The only noise that could be heard again was the tinkering of your tools and sometimes some sloshing when you washed the raw muscle. However for him silence started to feel a bit overwhelming, since he didn't had any idea of what was going on. Not having control put him on edge.

"(Name)"

He received nothing but silence. He had noticed that you weren't even looking at him.

Was it because of Clara? What is it now?

His eyes studied your face. They were glossy, your nose bridge was slightly red but even so, you were focused. He could tell by the frown on your face. This was your working mode.

"You're unusually quiet." He could see your hands faltering for a moment.

"I'm working." You mumbled and then you retrieved the surgical clamps.

"Hold these in this position." His sanitized hand reached for the clamps, his fingers making contact with your gloved ones, yours scurried away from his touch to keep moving forward and stitching his wounded flesh. Your hands moved to a synchronized dance. Rinsing with the distilled solution, dabbing away, stitching and cutting the thread.

Your forehead was glistening in a thin layer of sweat. You took a moment to stretch and then kept on working. The lavender smell was replaced with a sterile and hospital stench. He could feel small pulls on his flesh here and there but nothing too big that demanded you to stop.

If he came to think of it, it was the closest you both had been. On a personal level. And the most raw conversation you both have had.

"Say something." Your hands stopped and he heard you sigh. He was actually surprised at his own request. The silence was way too deafening at this point.

"I met him on a cafeteria in Chicago when I was on vacations. Happy? Now, hold them tight." You handled him the other clamps.

"We'll finish soon." You mumbled as you sew the flesh from the inside. The thread you stole was a special suture grade, meaning it would dissolve eventually.

"How old is he?"

"If I answer to your questions later, would you shut up? I really need to focus. And he's 34." 

"Right." He again stared at the ceiling and yawned, his adam's apple bobbing.

You changed the threads and after what it seemed forever you finished.

"Do you feel anything, darling?" You cringed for such mistake. You were so deep in your work that went 'in character'. Aiden chuckled.

"Not really."

"Sorry. The habit to pet name my patients. We're done here." You spoke as you sanitized the suture and then a pair of gauzes to cover the stitches.

"Be careful and don't move. I'll clean up." His eyes searched into yours but didn't found them as you were focused in something else. He could actually see how much things had been used. Gauzes specially. Mostly of them stained in fresh blood. You gave his phone back to him.

He inmediately called T-Bone.

"Hey. How the surgery go?"

"Good. Didn't feel a thing."

"Glad the medicines were useful."

"Thanks for that."

"Don't mention it. But seriously, you should thank the woman for saving your life. She even had to steal some stuffs from her work."

"How come?" He frowned as he tried to accomodate  in a sitting position, wich gained your attention.

"No! No, no! What are you doing!? I just stitched you up! You'll make the stitches to tear! Stay down."

T-Bone laughed softly at your warning voice.

"You better listen to the doc, Aiden."

You took a look at the stitching and sighed exhasperated.

"I swear, you're like a child."

"Ooh, she's angry."

"Shut up." Aiden mumbled to T-Bone but you whipped your head towards him in eery calm and then shrugged.

"Ok, fine by me. I didn't want to deal with you anyways."

"Wait, (Name)..."

"Ooooh... that must've hurt."

Aiden glared upon T-Bone's mocking but stopped once you were out of sight.

"You're enjoying this too much."

"Ha... Yeah. But anyways, how ya feel?"

"I'm not dying. Wich is good. Have you found anything related to Antoyev?"

"Nothing really. Neither about the Bratva. I've been searching and hacking here and there but, their security has increased considerably. But no news about anyone but Ilya's death."

"If you can delete the recordings, do it. They'd probably would look into the videos."

"The only thing related to Antoyev is that he is injured and that he needs resting."

"Let me know if anything else shows up."

"Okay. So... when do you return?"

"That's the thing I don't know. I can't be out for too long. But... (Name) says I need physical therapy to gain back mobility."

"Damn. If she says so. Or... she's just saying so cause she likes having you around?"

"Not really. In fact, she's acting up weird. But, not my business."

"What did you say to her?"

"Why do you assume I'm the one at fault or that I've said bad stuff?"

"Because you have done so before, remember? 

"What did you two talk about exactly?" His suspicion rising.

"Relax, amigo. Nothing big. Just us agreeing you are an idiot for not going to the hospital."

"I can't go to the hospital, Kenney. Too much questions."

"I know. Still. Treat her nicely and she will do the same. That's what I've learned in the little time we've spoken."

"Call me if you find anything new about Antoyev. Or any other member."

"I will. For now, focus on getting better. You're useless when injured."

"Thanks." Aiden rolled his eyes and hung up the call. He no longer had a fever, and if he followed your instructions, he'd be able to walk properly and finish his recovery where he felt in his ambience. Plus, it was clear you didn't want to deal with him any further.

Speaking of the devil.

"(Name)"

"Yes?"

Still not looking at you.

You were washing your hands after you had cleaned up and desinfected the area.

He sighed and spoke. "Can you help me to stand up?" His words felt like acid in his tongue. He wasn't used to ask for help. In fact, he didn't at all. Coming here to you had surprised him and haunted him as much as you'd think. But he had to behave.

"Sure but, not right now. The stitches are still fresh. Let the iodine to be absorbed, then I will help you."

"Thanks."

You just nodded and began washing the dirty dishes.

Again, silence. By how things were unfolding, he started to hate it. It made him anxious and uneasy. You weren't talking to him directly, neither tried to kill him during his sleep or hating his guts like when he returned to warn you.

That's something

His mind chanted. Socializing wasn't his forte, much less apologizing or fixing something he was most likely the culprit of. But if he was gonna stay for who knows in your home, the least he could do is to try and be civil, polite and most importantly, cooperative. You had been, ever since you helped him to not die.

"What's your blood type?" You suddenly asked.

"O+"

"Ok. You'll need a transfussion. You might still be weak for a couple of days,  but the sooner we get it done, the sooner you'll be out and done with your mission."

"You still owe me some answers."

"You're not letting that go, are you?"

"Nope." You looked at him and shook your head.

"Fine. Ask away, before I regret it."

"What does Erik do for a living?"

"What are you, my dad? And he is an accountant in two companies."

"For how long he is supposed to be staying out?"

"Two weeks. If possible, less time."

"Have you ever checked up his phone?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Has he acted up suspicious?"

"What? Is there anything you'd like to say about him?"

"Not really. He's boring."

"You're boring."

"Who did that to you? Your face I mean." He gestured with his hands.

"A patient. He was high on meth. Pounced on me and punched me in the eye."

"Do you know his name?"

"No. For how long have you been spying on me?" You fired back and he went silent for a moment.

"I don't remember exactly. But it came across my investigation."

She doesn't know about the cameras yet. Good.

He gulped and sighed softly.

"And this investigation is linked to the guys you're after?"

"Yes."

"You got injured because of them?"

"The boss actually. He shot me."

"What's his name?"

"Antoyev. Is the name familiar to you?"

"Not really. First time hearing it actually. Why did you come back?"

"Cause I had told you... I promised Clara to keep you safe. And the guys that you helped put in jail, escaped and now are thriving in business here."

"So... all this time... I thought of you as a friend, was simply you accomplishing a mission?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"I just wanna hear it from you, so I can actually start treating you like nothing but a patient and if possible, get out of your life for good."

He went silent.

"It's not fair for me to just help you, and you keep treating me as someone you can use and dispose at your liking without taking in consideration how you acted towards me in the past. Cause... it fucking hurts and it's annoying."

"That's why I want to get out of this. So I can leave you alone for real. You think I like this? You think I enjoy being in this position when you're constantly reminding me the failure I was in protecting Clara, despite what she did to me?."

"Ok. Let me stop you right there. Am I the culprit of what unfolded between you and Clara?"

His mouth was set in a flat line.

"...No."

"Then why you... keep acting like that? And keep comparing me to her?"

"Acting like what?"

"Like you're disgusted? Or that you hated me."

"Because you still keep pushing buttons I don't like people to push. For some reason you and her had that... annoying hability. She did it different though, a little more pleasant even. But you... you go straight to kill. I hate it."

"Wow... you really had to be that honest, didn't you?"

"You wanted the truth, I gave you the truth. And now you're complaining?" His brows furrowed both in confusion and anger.

"I'm not." You shook your head and relaxed. " It's just... It would've saved me up so much pain if you were honest with me since the begining. And I'm sorry for making it really unpleasant for you. But it's not my style to charm and seduce my problems away. " 

Your eyes locked up with his as you spoke.Your calmness made him uncomfortable, but in the inside you were a mess. You wanted to cry, to slap and punch him until your hands were sore. But what would be the point of it? Kick him out wouldn't solve anything, it would only bring more troubles.

"Did you love my sister?"

"No. It wasn't like that. I liked her as my team mate, but love? No. Not after what she did."

"I see. How... was to be around her?"

"Unpredictable. Just like you. But... with Clara you truly never knew what to expect. I had the enemy underneath my nose for a long time and I never noticed, until it was too late."

"She never... mentioned anything about your niece to me, not even once. Clara was really secretive. Still to this day, there is so much I don't know about her. I feel like strangers suited us better than sisters. She just approached whenever she needed to hide or... a favor. The closest sister bonding moment we actually had is when she tattooed me."

"Do you miss her?" Aiden asked as he looked at you.

"Sometimes I do. But... mostly of the time, I don't. I mean, I thought I was but, you can't miss someone whom you haven't shared in your life. Do you miss her?"

"Not really. Maybe her skills."

"Do you feel guilty for what happened to her?"

"I guess. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't."

You nodded and sighed.

"My..." you chuckled. "I've noticed that... no matter what, how fucked up things are, we always end up like this."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Talking. About gloomy things that either help us realize things about ourselves or... things that just break us further."

"It's a weird way of comfort."

You chuckled and shook your head.

"I wouldn't call it comfort. More like... a very uncomfortable yet necessary reality check." You stretched in your spot and yawned.

"What now?" Aiden questioned. For some reason his heart beat faster. And you shrugged.

"Guess it will be like before I came here. Each to our own thing. Cause... let's face it. You suck at keeping people in your life and you just admitted I am annoying as fuck."

"I never said you, specifically, were annoying or that I hated you. I mean, sure you are at times when your emotions get the worst out of you. But... you're not precisely annoying."

"Then, what am I?"

"I'm still figuring that out." He smiled softly and you just watched him with unamused eyes.

"Anything else you wanna ask?"

"Does he treat you good?"

"Erik? He does. He's a good guy. So... you can stop pretending you actually care and get your mission done."

"You're too sensitive sometimes."

"Feeling everything is better than numbing yourself out, but is as equally frustrating. I mean, a lot of things are not your forte. Empathy to start with, giving comfort, understanding how people feels without exploiting those weaknesses against them, dealing with your own things-

"Okay. Ok. I get it. "

You couldn't help but chuckle. His lips curved upwards upon seeing you a bit less grimm.

"But yeah. I'm in good hands. If that's what you're... "worried" about."

"I do worry."

"Nah. You don't. You're just playing on your social engineering tricks on me to convince me otherwise. Or to make yourself feel good about doing a good thing."

"Jesus. A punch in the wound would've hurted less." He spoke in between soft grunts while trying to stretch carefully.

"Well, that's what you've shown me so far. But hey, I'm not a complete bitch and not acknowledge the good things you've done for me. So it's a fifty-fifty. Wait. No. Sixty-forty"

"That's what I meant when I said you're annoying."

"Oh?"

"You just spit the truth like it's nothing. Leaving me with little to no time for rebutting"

Now you laughed.

"Yeah, but the damage I seem to inflict, you return it ten times stronger." His adam's apple bobbed again.

"Look... I'm-"

Your phone rang and he sighed.

"Wait a minute." You stood up and took it. He could see how your face went from a gloomy one to light up immediately. Your eyes even twinkled and your smile shone a bit brighter.

There was a weird yet painful sensation in his chest that made him uncomfortable by your sudden change of attitude.

"Mon chèrie."You spoke and went to your bedroom, closing the door behind you.

Aiden could stare holes into the door if he actually could. He could, however hear laughs and affectionate words coming from you.

His jaw clenched and his eyes darted to the side of his body. You came out all giddy and happy, but his stare at you made you to frown and approach him.

"You're paling." Your hands palmed underneath his chin, his neck and then the forehead, trying to find any signs of fever. He pushed your hands away gently and you stopped.

"..."

"I'm just tired." He spoke dryly.

"Oh... okay. Let's get you to your bed then."

You fixed your lopsided ponytail and grabbed his forearms.

"At three you come up." You counted to three and you pulled his torso up. He inhaled sharply  as he was hauled up and he managed to sit. Then you sat next to him and put his arm around your shoulders as your left arm secured his good side. His nose was tickled with a peach scent.

Surprisingly for him, you were strong enough to carry him, still, you were already panting so he supported himself on the walls to not dump all of his weight on you, but almost fell down as he tripped on his toes. Your grip was tighter as you used all your strenght into keeping him on his feet.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and you shook your head.

"You can do it. Just a few more steps and we'll get to your-"

"I'm trying to apologize. I was wrong." He exhaled as he gave another step. You could study his face in surprise.

"Can you apologize when you're on-" he removed himself off you and fully supported on the walls, trying to walk by himself. He was exhasperated.

"My goodness... I swear I am done trying to understand you. You'll fall. C'mon." You grabbed his arm and helped him to his bedroom and placed him on his bed to lay him down.

"You're so confusing. Like... what has gotten into you this time? I'm not even mocking you. But you're truly scarying me with all of these sudden changes of attitudes."

"Speak for yourself."

"I told you that I would treat you as a patient and nothing more. So... I don't get why you are acting like this."

"Do you want me to apologize or not?" He grumbled as he rubbed his face.

"No. I don't want you to apologize because you think that would bring up some sort of reconciliation between us or we'd be magucally be friends again. If you apologize, it needs to be genuine. I'm not saying either cry me a river. But... I can't trust you, Aiden."

"You're still mad."

"Of course I am! Like... you say really hurtful things after breaking a promise, disappear like nothing, then come into my home like nothing happened and dismissed how I felt completely about said hurtful things, but not enough on that you get to compare me to Clara, then disappear again just to break into my home, and making a mess to then bleed out in my bathroom after I had a 12 hour shift."

You exhaled. " I... I had to steal some equipment to be able to stitch you up. And somehow you manage to still give me an attitude. Then you tell me that all of this time you being around was part of my sister's deathwish, when I actually thought of you as a friend. Is there anything I should be happy about or believe? Because so far, I see no motives to be all fun and games with you." 

You both sighed and you looked at the floor, then you hooked his IV on the serum holder and took his arm to take his blood pressure. His hand resting  on one of your thighs.

She's warm.

You pushed the air on the device and awaited.

"For someone who eats pizza and junk food on a daily basis, your pressure is actually good."

"I returned because I decided so."

"Hm?"

"After we fought? I wasn't coming back."

You paused and looked at him to then go back to your check up.

"I see."

"I mean, sure, Clara asked me to but... I wasn't going to do anything about it. I mean, why would I? It's not my job to look after you, but... Seeing all those forensic reports and pictures and the women... all butchered. I couldn't just leave it like that. You..." he cleared his throat and looked at you. "You did alot for me too. And... It was wrong on my behalf to abuse of that kindness. I'm sorry." 

Your cheeks for some reason flared up as he spoke, but still looked at him in utter suspicion.

"I, eh, accept your apology." You nodded an he exhaled, as if relieved. You put a hand on his chest and then the stetoscope to hear his beating.

He's nervous.

"I mean... I also owe you an apology. Maybe I overstepped my trust and pushed your limits a bit too quickly as well. Like... forcing you to go to that bbq or making you to change parts of you just to fit in. That was wrong of me too."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Apologizing? It is not. But... it's a brave act for those who... thrive to be better. At least that's what my therapist told me. You should try it."

"I don't think so."

"Too many questions?"

"Yeah. I don't feel comfortable sharing my life with strangers."

"None of us do. At least not at that personal level, yet here we are. But, chasing criminals for fun, is not a healthy coping mechanism either."

"Hey." You giggled quietly and nodded.

"Alright. Sorry."

You picked up the stetoscope and stood.

"You seem to be doing overall okay. Tell T-Bone we need a O+ pint of blood for the transfussion and a walking support. Then, we'll start physical therapy. We'll get your mobility as soon as you can. But! We'll do it slowly. And no more junk food."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ugh... stop calling me a ma'am. Im 31. Anyways, have a goodnight."

"(Name)?"

"Hm?"

"We good?"

"Perhaps." You gave him a soft smile and then turned off the lights.

"Call me if you need anything." You closed the door. And sighed.

You rested a hand on your chest and exhaled.

Dumbass. You weren't supposed to give in that easily.

You walked to your bedroom and went to sleep.

The following morning there was a knock on your door as you both ate breakfast.

"I'll go." You stood up and put your fork down. You went to open up and for your surprise there was a man, probably on his sixties, bald, chunky and with glasses. He wore a brown button shirt, black pants and shoes and his white coat. He had both hands occupied. One with his medical equipment, and the other one with a container.

"I'm Dr. Johnson. Kenney sends me."

"Oh. Please, come in." You opened your door wider for him to get in.

"Would you like some water or coffee?"

"Not really,  thanks." He put his equiment down to accommodate his glasses to take a better look at Aiden.

"He looks a bit pale. Oh! Before I forget. Here's the blood pint."  He gave a small cool container to you and then looked at what you were eating.

"Good dieting. Alright. Let's see what we can do."

You could only watch as the doctor took his vitals, and did the routinary check ups. Then he removed the gauze and nodded.

"You're a nurse?"

"Yes, sir."

"What kind?"

"Registered Practice Nurse. Soon an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse."

"Oh good. You know that it's illegal to perform surgeries independently, right?"

You just nodded.

"I'm well aware, sir."

"I could even report you to your work place for doing such things." Your eyes widened and your face drained in color.

"But of course, I won't do that. I'm just kidding, young lady." You gave an uncomfortable smile and stepped closer.

"Your stitching is quite remarkable. The scarring tissue will be minimum. You should've aimed for a plastic surgeon."

"Ah, heh. I couldn't afford it at the time but I'm happy with my job, sir."

"And it shows. It's a very well done suture."

"Thanks."

"You're lucky to have a partner like her, Mr...?"

"She's not." Aiden chuckled.

"Oh? I thought you both were married."

"Ah heh. No. We're just friends." You spoke a bit more uncomfortable by the sudden personal turn the doctor took.

"Haha. Alright. Anyways, the antibiotics are alright, just change them to pills and dicrease the dosage of analgesics. Drink a lot of water to help the scarring to be faster, Do not, under any circumstance do demanding physical activities. No sex, no swimming, anything that involves you sweating, is out of the equation. When is the therapy starting?"

"A couple of days after the transfussion, sir."

"Good. The stitches are way too tender to begin moving again. There is no puss supurating, does it itch?"

"Alot." Aiden nodded.

"Do not scratch. You're healing."

"Tell Kenney that I'll send him my bill. And as for your face, you might need to check an occulist for your eye. Patient was drugged?"

"Meth." Dr. Johnson scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Yeah. Be careful from now on."  

"I will. Thank you for coming."

"If you ever decide to study for surgeon, let me know. You'd learn so much in Switzerland."

"I'll keep it in mind. Thanks."

He spoke as he walked to the door. You opened up and he left. You sighed in relief.

"He scared the shit out of me."

"I thought it was legal for you to participate in surgeries."

"You said it. Participate." You grabbed the vaseline and put a new pair of gloves on and got some antibacterial gel on them.

"But perform a surgery? And independently, it's illegal. Id have my license removed." You smeared the vaseline on his stitches.

"Thank you."

"Eh, it's fine. I always wanted to do some sort of surgery. And for a doctor, probably a surgeon, to compliment you this way, means I'm in the right track, he made my day actually. After scarying me of course."

"So, I'm your first lab rat?"

"Didn't want to use those words but yeah. You are."

"When would I be able to..."

"Do the things you do? Maybe in a month. Or two. Depending on your progress."

"Guess I can't do anything about it."

"Nope. You'll only make it harder to heal and, you could infect the stitching. Remember that you are sewn from the inside as well. Some muscles were severed enough to be stitched."

"How come you didn't go for a doctor?"

"Like I told Dr. Johnson, I couldn't afford it. And I'm sure that even now I'd still be unable to afford it all. Student loans are such a pain in the ass. It's only been two years since I finished paying them all actually." 

"And about the Advanced Practice nurse?"

"I'll need time and money but, I'll make it. If not, I'm still happy with my job."

"Then, why becoming a nurse?"

"Because of my mother. She, uhm, died not getting the help she needed at the moment. It was medical negligence, I wanted to help, but I was too young, stupid and scared to do anything. But once the clarity came, and I was in a better place I decided to be a nurse so none would go through that anymore."

"That's quite a noble thinking."

"Thank you. But enough chit chat. Don't forget to take your pills. And don't cover the wound. Leave the skin breathe."

"You're going out?"

"Grocery shopping. You need a special diet. And I'm out of a lots of things. Oh! That reminds me, we need to talk by the way."

"About?"

"Lilly." He looked away with a heavy sigh.

"You know?" You laughed almost involuntaryly at his words. 

"Impossible to not know. She didn't shut up about it. I didn't want to hear it. But she made sure to tell me how... amazing it was."  You went to your bedroom and changed into some joggers, sneakers and a loose tshirt.

"I knew you were into crazy chicks. But, seriously. Lilly?"

"What? I had a good time."

"Ugh. Don't... don't tell me about it. It's weird enough to know you two hooked up."

"What did she say?"

"I won't feed your ego with detailed and unnecesary descriptions." You shuddered and shook your head as he chuckled.

He smirked and slicked his hair back wich you rolled your eyes at.

"But seriously. You've better used protection. Wouldn't be surprised if she 'accidentally' got pregnant and say you are her baby daddy."

"It was a one time thing."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyways, what size are you?"

His brows cocked at you and smirked, your cheeks flared up in embarrassment.

"Y-You're so inmature."

"You gotta be more specific with your questions, (Name)."

"In clothing!"

" I don't know. Want to see the tag?" Your nose scrunched up in disbelief.

"Aiden!"

"Yes?"

"Stop it. I have-"

"Mr. Dudnik? Relax. I'm just teasing. A L size will do."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

"Hey, wait. I got some money in my wallet-"

"No."

"Let me help you."

Your tinted cheeks remained, so ever rosy.

"Friends help eachother, right? So let me help."

"We're not exactly friends."

"What are we then?"

"Just stop it."

"Stop what?"

"You know what."

He smirked at your frown and with a few taps on his phone he looked at your purse.

"Get what you need."

"Since there is no way to return your money, I'll make a list. Any special meds you take?"

"Just vitamins for men my age."

"Sure do, grandpa. Can't guarantee you the blue pill though."

"Bold of you to think I need it." Your flushed cheeks only deepened.

" I'll see what I can get you for clothes. The more loose and comfortable, the better for you. Lactose intolerant?"

"Not really."

"Lucky you." You then checked up your fridge and wrote down the things you needed.

"Alright. I'll be here soon. Don't mess up with your IV. And don't try to do anything stupid like exercising."

You went out the door, leaving Aiden on his own.

He stared at the door for a couple of minutes and then sighed.

Still amiable, that's something.

His lips curved upwards. His phone buzzed again.

"Jordi."

"Pearce. Where the hell have you been?"

"Taking recovery."

"So, guess its true what other fixers say. You're injured?"

"And what do they say?"

"That a russian mobster was shot and his brother killed. They're looking for a masked guy. Guess it's you."

"Or not. Alot of people wore masks. Any details?"

"Not really. Just that. Anyways, I'll be sending the information soon."

"Ok. I need another thing."

"What is it? Dispose of the russian? Kill the politicians?"

"Follow a man."

"...Just follow?"

"Yeah. I gotta see what he acts like before I step in."

"Sounds sinister. I'm in."

"His name is Erik Dudnik."

"Mobster?"

"No. Just an average joe."

"Hold up. What's the fun in that?"

"Will you do it or not?"

"Whose this guy?"

"None of your business."

"Sounds important."

"Jordi."

"Alright, alright. Where is he?"

"Outside of Wisconsin. Works at Linden's Co."

"It'll take time but yeah. I'm in. About the politicians?"

"Don't kill them yet. Will expose them first."

"You're nasty. That's why you're my friend."

"We're not friends."

"Ow. I love you too."Jordi hung up the call and Aiden sighed.

The lavender scent invaded his nostrils again. Tiredness taking over him. He yawned and soon went to sleep, however it didn't last much. His phone buzzed again.

"T-Bone."

"Sorry to wake you up, sleeping beauty, but I've got news."

"Good or bad?"

"Bad." He rubbed his face and shielded his eyes from the sheer white light.

"What is it?"

"According to a little phone call I managed to intercept, Antoyev is traveling to Ukraine."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

Aiden's jaw clenched and his nostrils flared in anger. 

"When he is returning?"

"I don't know. They just mention him traveling."

"Fuck..."

"I know... I know it sucks, but hey, you've got him identified at least."

"True."

"And we can have a closer look on to what he is doing overseas."

"This woman I rescued, said he is working abroad with a shipping company."

"Did she say anything of the name?"

"Not really. She just said it was a shipping company."

"I'll see what I can come up with. Alright. Is (Name) around?"

"No. She's on the supermarket"

"Ah. So, is she still mad at you?"

"We uhm... sorted that out. Kinda."

"Ahh, see? I told you to be nice. She seems a good woman."

"She is. I don't trust the man she is with, though."

"How come?"

"Just have a hunch about him"

"More like jealousy perhaps."

"Cut the crap, T-Bone."

"Hahaha, see? It's quite easy to rile you up whenever it comes to (Name)."

He rolled his eyes at the comment.

"So you're friends now?"

"I don't know. We're not exactly that but having her in an amiable mode is better than nothing."

T-Bone snorted at his reply.

"Dr. Johnson told me about your current state. You gotta pay him."

"I will."

Aiden yawned and there was a small silence before T-Bone spoke.

"Any news on the politicians?"

"Yeah. I'll expose them. Then my contact will dispose of them."

"I see."

"Can you... look up of any information about Erik Dudnik?"

"Whose that guy?"

"(Name)'s boyfriend."

"And you think invading his privacy will be good to your newly restored frienship?"

"(Name) is aware that I am investigating him."

"Ah... you two sure scalate things quickly."

"We just had an honest talk."

"Sounds ominous."

"It was. But at the end it came all good, I think."

"You're glad to be friends again?"

"I guess. She's... resourceful."

T-Bone sighed and groaned out.

"You really need to stop looking people as tools, pal. What she would think if she heard you say such things?, look I'm not saying wife her out or some wild shit like that. Just make sure to treat her nicely. It costs nothing. You'll see how things get better."

"You say so like if I'm treating her like the plague."

"You did, pal. It doesn't take more than two cells to know you fucked up. Look Clara is gone. So stop projecting whatever shit you had with her on (Name). I did it once with a colleage of mines. And to this day? I regret it. He would've been a great add to our team. But my big ass mouth made me fuck it up. Don't be like me."

"She knows where to hit. And it's worse when she's angry".

"I bet and maybe that's exactly what you need, someone to bring your ass down to earth from time to time and pull out your head out of your ass. You two get on eachother's nerves and that's normal. But you both cross the limits when you start hurting eachother. And that's when you start to change things. None of you are perfect. But if you always look for flaws to exploit and take advantage of, you'll lose her too."

Aiden was both confused and surprised upon T-Bone's words. He knew the man was odd, a bit excentric. But he was several years ahead of him so of course he knew these sorts of things.

"You should really try journaling."

"I don't have time for that."

"In your phone. I mean, it comes to a point when you really have to decide what matters and what doesn't. And keeps what matters in your life."

"Sure do, Dr. Phil."

"Au contraire of him, my wisdom is for free. So better make the most out of it. It takes 0 to be less of a dick."

Aiden chuckled and after a while of idle chat, he hung up. You returned half hour later.

Full of grocery things and bags of clothings.

"Bonjour" he greeted and you replied with a very suffocated 'bonjour'.

"You put the things on the dining table and then served yourself a tall glass of water.

"Man, I was thirsty."

"That was quicker than I expected."

"Ah well, there wasn't much traffic and the supermarket wasn't full. Here."

You helped him to sit down and then delivered him the basic toiletries. A personal set of towels, his own toothbrush, a bar of soap, a washcloth, shampoo, conditioner, shavers and razor kits.

"Is that good?"

"Yeah. Thanks. Conditioner is not needed though."

"Yeah, you need it. Your hair is way too nice to be looking like a bird nest. Anyways, I've got you cotton underwear. Makes everything breathable. And some basic things. Tshirts, sweatpants, pajamas, and socks. Comfy clothes. Did you put vaseline on?"

"I forgot. I'll do it."

"I'd help out but gotta organize things and make lunch. You hungry?"

"Kind of."

You gasped.

"He is hungry! That's a good start."

He rolled your eyes at you and you smirked.

"I must ask though. Are you by chance a shy eater?"

"A what?"

"A shy eater. Cause you always ate little or nothing."

"I don't prioritize food."

"Noted. You gotta understand something, Aiden. When injured, you gotta eat properly so your body can have the right nutrition and for it to heal quicker. The healthier you eat, the quicker you heal."

"Yes ma'am." Sighing you begun unpacking and organizing. Then you moved on to meal prepping.

"I forgot. We gotta organize for when I'm off to work."

"I had forgotten about that."

"Yup. I'll leave your meds and meal prepared before I go to work."

"What if Erik shows up?"

You looked at him and shrugged.

"Well, we tell him that you were mugged outside. He'll understand."

"Right."

"He doesn't likes you either. But he'll be fine with it."

He chuckled as the sizzling of whatever you were cooking and delicious smells started to fill in the kitchen. His belly grumbled in protest.

"What if you're out and he finds me here?"

"You'll have to explain." You chuckled and then proceeded to chop up some vegetables.

"He probably beats me."

"Although you deserve it, he won't. He's not a violent man. Or at least I hope so."

"Has he shown aggression to you?"

"At all. Just when I ask him to."

"Wh..." you smirked upon hearing him grunting in discomfort.

"Was that necessary?"

"That's exactly what I asked in my mind when Lilly told me about your... fun time."

"We're even."

"Yup." You chuckled and continued cooking. 

Now that you had just confirmed what he already knew, the tip of his ears turned in a soft flush.

"C'mon. Time to eat. I think you'd like this one."

"I'm not used to eat homemade food."

"Yeah, I noticed that ever since you stepped in my home the first time."

"Hey, given my line of work, I don't have time to cook for myself."

"Wait... you can actually cook?"

"The basics with some extra couple steps." You helped him to stand and take him to the table.

"Well, now you owe me a cooked meal."

"I'll try."

"Alright. Here" you smeared some antibacterial gel on his hands and then served him a plate of what you had cooked.

"Hope you like this Ulster Fry. Couldn't find the blood sausage. Hopefully the rest will do."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Think of it as a belated birthday celebration."

He swallowed as the familiar scent he used to adore when he was a kid, invaded his lungs.

"Seems you like to go the extra mile. You didn't have to."

"Don't be such a partypooper. Besides, I was craving for something like this ever since you told me about it and I looked it up. This is the symbol of... a truce. Yeah, a truce."

"A truce?"

"Yup. I'm kind of tired of always fighting or having to be en garde all the time with you. So... peace." the back oh his hairs stood up so ever softly at your french.

"Are we signing up a Treaty of Versailles"

You slapped his arm softly and smiled.

"We can go back to be passive-aggressive with eachother if you feel more comfortable."

"I'm good like this, thanks. "

You both chuckled and ate.

"Is it good?"

"Very. I use to get this on special occassions. We didn't have much growing up, but it was either my birthday or Nicky's birthday."

"Whose Nicky?" You tilted your head in confussion.

"Nicole. My sister."

"Didn't know you had siblings."

"She's the only one. And my nephews. Well... My nephew. He's 13 now."

He swallowed and then continued to eat.

"Thanks for telling me." Your eyes locked with his for a moment and then you smiled softly. He kept eating, and there you gave him subtle glances, your eyes stared at his hands and then at his lips, that glistened over the thin layer of buttery sauce. But removed your gaze to keep eating.

They look softer than Erik's...

You froze for a second upon your thoughts and just drowned them with a big sip of orange juice you had.

His eyes then darted so ever softly at your lips, then at your face and then the beauty mark above the curvature of your breast. The sudden image of your perky breast came to his mind, boucing softly. He cleared his throat and thumped his chest gently, trying to clear his airways.

"Sorry. Swallowed a whole tomato" you giggled at his words and continued your food.

Pearce, No.

[thedreadvampy]

I am. For some reason. Being haunted by guilt for this one fucking thing that happened when I was 17. It keeps floating up whenever I try to sleep the last couple of days, I think it's cause Sam's been ill. so I'm putting it here in an attempt to exorcise it. please tell me if this is a situation it makes sense to feel guilty about 13 years later.

Ok so I'm 17, right? I have this boyfriend. He's 18? 19? Not 100% sure on timings on this. and we've been together for about 9 months.

I'm still at school. He's not - he dropped out of sixth form twice, doesn't have a job and is on and off benefits. He's living in his mum's house but I think by this point she's up and moved to Ghana without much notice, leaving him alone with 4 cats and a dog (I'm not actually 100% sure she'd moved out yet at the time but I'm the interests of steelmanning the guilt let's assume she had. I think she had).

We live in different towns - he lives in the nearest Proper Town, the one with like a train station and shopping centre and cinema and clubs. I live 2 buses away - there's a 45 minute bus that takes me from his to the town I go to school in, which goes every 20 minutes 6am-11pm, and then the 20/40 min bus (it takes alternating routes) that I have to take from that town to my village, which goes every 80 minutes 7am-5pm.

My habit at the time is leaving school on Friday, getting the bus to his, spending every weekend there, then going to school from his on Monday and going home after school to spend the week at home. So we sort of half live together - I do a lot of the shopping and cleaning for his house while I'm there cause I work and get a £20/wk allowance from my parents and have no bills to pay, whereas he doesn't have any stable income and since his mum left he's gotta pay for the bills on this 2 person house as well as food and stuff for himself and the animals.

So that's the context this is happening in. He's feeling very abandoned and not really coping, and I've been trying to fill that gap but also I Am Seventeen.

Anyway it's Christmas time, and I've agreed that I'll spend the run-up to Christmas at his and then get the last bus home on Christmas Eve to spend actual Christmas with my family.

I wake up on Christmas Eve about 3am because it is BOILING. I reach over and touch his skin and it literally hurts to touch cause he's running such a high fever. When he wakes up I ask him if he's ok, if he needs me to call the doctor etc, he won't let me do that. I get him water and paracetamol and honey and lemon and a bucket in case he needs to throw up but by about 3pm I'm like I truly have to go bc this is the absolute latest I can leave to catch the last bus home before December 27th (no buses on Christmas or Boxing Day).

and he is crying and begging me not to leave him and calling me selfish and saying I don't love him. and I do everything I can to make sure he's going to be ok and has plenty of food and water in reach and then I go.

(I was very right about the urgency of leaving if I wanted to get home, btw, bc it was below zero and snowing heavily and I JUST got onto the last bus at a dead run. and then that broke down in the snow 2 miles away from home, it was like an hour of just me and the bus driver sitting in an unheated bus while the snow piled up and he called the depot trying to get someone to come out 30+ miles to pick him and the bus up last thing before Christmas. Poor guy. Eventually my mum managed to drive out and pick me up and bring the driver a thermos of tea and some heat packs to tide him over until the cavalry came. so yeah there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in that travel plan.)

anyway my memories of that Christmas Eve have always largely focused on the bus thing. but like. the last few days I'm really thinking about how scary and lonely that genuinely must have been for my ex. like. if I'm right in thinking this was after his mum left, this was probably his first Christmas alone and he spent it racked with flu, running a fever in his room and his girlfriend just went away and left him to it. and like. That must have felt awful

and I keep just thinking should I have done something different? tried to get him to my parents' for Christmas? stuck around until the 27th? maybe talked to my mum and seen whether she could come pick me up on Christmas Day?

or like. even if i didn't do anything wrong. does it make me a bad person that I was so desperate to get out of his house and so relieved once I was away? like I just did not want to deal with that?

like it's obviously all moot, it was half my life ago and anyway it's a snapshot of a much more substantive and complicated relationship. but like. It's just sitting on me at the moment. while I flop around feeling sorry for myself bc I'm running a fever.

[innerangeltoadlover]

13. I find myself becoming ever more wary of these people because I feel like I’m being goose-stepped down a road which will find my sister innocent and I will be lost within my illness. It’s also disrespectful to my parents who were stoic in treating their children without bias whatever our personal issues may have been. Whitewashing my sister’s behaviour towards my parents by emphasising my illness is abhorrent to me and though my writing has cynicism I am not writing to win friends. I also know that psychiatrists are very aware of the stigma that surrounds this illness but appear to be reticent to admit that people of status can treat others like shit . There is also the fact that admitting my sister was abusive involves the house of cards upon which my diagnosis was built falling about their ears- admitting wrong doing is not a possibility. If she cannot admit the crappy elements that exist within her own class is she treating me or offloading the same shit that I have always endured and as such is she really part of the problem? She wants to keep these sessions so tightly bound that they are reflective of my travel through the world and not others. She does not want to explore my sisters abuse because doing so raises questions that may travel to her world however attempting to clean up the mess left by a previous psychiatrist by ignoring it may be good for her peers but not for me. I am still carrying a load which isn’t mine.

The dynamics of family life is another under explored area by psychiatrists. Having shared a bedroom with my sister for 18 years I believe I knew my sister quite well however this knowledge is again diminished by the diagnosis. As my sister was operating in the world in a manner which is characteristic of the norm, psychiatry wrote off my protests as part of my illness. My sister would arrive on her broomstick at my parents' abode which was a 2 hour drive (I say this because making the 1 hour drive to our mothers death bed was “too far” her words to the nurse who rang her 3 times ) with her children in tow as though motherhood had somehow transformed her into a human being. My father would wonder why she actually bothered to visit when she would spend her time in chaos mode. This decade of my sister's visits were without doubt the worst years of my life. I was sick, drugged to the eyeballs , suffering from poor sleep , and my sister would regularly enjoy yelling at anything I did she didn’t like or in fact did like because it never made sense. That was the thing about her abuse - I existed and was therefore her emotional punching bag. This was not however an experience i was unused to - sharing a bedroom with my sister involved being continuously verbally abused and advice on splitting up with a teenage boyfriend because as i later found out from my brother she would scream about in jealous tantrums - apparently it was ok if she had a boyfriend but not me. When I began to grow boobs my sister would find it fun to punch me in this very tender area. After Dad died there was a flurry of emails between the siblings and we informed my sister that her abuse had not gone unnoticed by any of the family and we weren’t going to put up with it any longer. We got an email from my sister which was obviously written by her husband - who by the way is behind much of this mess - saying that my brother and I were trying to change history ie family history. As a person with a history degree my eyes popped when I saw it. I realised that I was dealing with 2 people who were revisionists and that even in our own family, history is written by the victors. These 2 snakes that had slithered up the status ladder had no intention of telling the truth and those who believe status indicates worthiness would stand with them.

[echoesagain]

#12

Sample day in the life (at uni (can vary))

8:00- Wake 8:00:05- Turn off first alarm (Somedays by Regina Spektor) 8:15- Wake again 8:15:05- Turn off second alarm (Surfer King by A. A. Bondy) and actually get up 8:15:15- Groan and get dressed, start morning routine 8:56- Finish morning routine, reflect that I have 4 minutes, could've slept longer. 8:56:05- Wander around my room aimlessly, winking at my reflection, check if pears in window are ripe yet (definitely not), pack my pockets with more shit that I don't actually need. 9:04- Get on bus, put on depressing music so I can feel like I'm in a dystopian nightmare and justify my thoughts of strangling the person in front of me on the bus as I wonder if someone has vomited on my seat. 9:24- Arrive at uni, realise I have twenty minutes before my first lecture so go sit in a private study room, yawning, wishing I ate more breakfast and browse random shit on study computers. 9:25- See printer still isn't working, smile to myself that I'm not the only incompetent/ procrastinator in the uni. 9:25:30- Check my watch 9:25:32- Realise I still have no idea what time it is 9:25:33- Look at my watch and realise I knew all along what time it was but it turns out my subconscious hates me. 9:25:33.50- Internally rant at my subconscious self and berate my conscious self for ever listening, some how end up blaming all my failures on my subconscious. How self-respectful of myself. 9:34- Finish my rant and realise that I've been biting my nails again. Fuck, that'll hurt when it grows out again. Time to spin in my chair again. 9:35- Get bored, check pockets for more useless shit. 9:36- Dismantle my pen for the fiftieth time and decide to go to my lecture. 13:51- Get out of my last lecture seriously wondering what the actual fuck I just sat through and how the hell I'm going to pass my exams. 13:52- Talk about usual shit to people as we walk in a literal horde to a bus back home. 13:55- The bus is full. Fuck, I'll get the next one. They're never regular, urgh I'll have to socialise again. 13:56- Another bus, this one I get on. Thank god they're not regular or I'd have had to wait fifteen minutes. Talk about more shit with my "friends". 13:56:15- Run out of shit to talk to, browse Reddit and Tumblr. 13:56:50- I'm hungry. Awkward silence isn't helping. 14:00- Not home, still on bus. Realise that I could just get off here and go to the pub and not leave for about eight hours. 14:15- Arrive back home, promptly go get a sausage roll, reflect on consumerism and how I'll probably get fat or have a heart attack if I eat another one of these. 14:15:30- Shrug and finish the sausage roll. Hard to hate yourself with a sausage roll. 14:20- Get home. 16:34- Stop watching Netflix and start doing uni work. 17:15- Think I should probably make food. Ehhh, later, back to Netflix. 18:00- Ok, hungry now, food. 18:42- I fucking hate washing up. People don't know how to clean a draining board. 18:59- Drink some water. 19:00- Read some more books. Literature is very important to me, even if it's shitty teen stuff. 20:00- Realise I'm lonely, go and socialise in the kitchen. 20:00:30- There's no one in the kitchen and I'm just sipping tea and staring out the window. Who needs friends? 20:01- I really should talk to someone. 20:06- Hang out with my friend in his room, talking about shit and online shopping for stuff I'll never buy and assure him he won't run out of money. 21:20- Leave his room with an excuse, go to shop to buy snacks. 22:47- Think I should probably sleep. Check my timetable, set alarms for next day and close my blinds. 22:48- Fall into bed with my laptop. 2:25- Contemplate sleep again, this time my body wants it. 2:26- Curse myself, my self conscious and everyone who I've interacted with that day. 2:28- Finish regretting my life and all my choices. 2:30- Sleep.

I'll admit I glossed over some things and included some things that might have been unnecessary. I think I included a fair share of each and hope that it proves interesting. Hmmm, number 13 next. Not very lucky, I guess we'll find out. It's been over a year since I started this and I'm only on 12. I think that means it'll take about 20 years to reach number 231. Buckle up!

[jobean12-blog]

The Story of Us

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 1,142

Summary: Bucky is broody muffin unless you’re around- then he’s just a soft muffin of love :)

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club cleanup the archive challenge and the super cute and sweet prompt below from my lovely friend @randomfandompenguin Thank you love! I hope you like this! You know I adore our beefy Bucky! Thank you all for reading and much love always! ❤❤❤ My beautiful divider is by @imerdwarf

Warnings: Soft and sweet fluff, Bucky’s read Henley, some friendly teasing and fun

“Hey Buck, Sam and I are going for a run. Want to join us?” Steve asks.

Bucky looks up from his cereal and shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t feel like going out now. Thanks.”

Steve shrugs and claps him on the back. “See ya later Pal.”

Bucky finishes eating his breakfast and washes the bowl before grabbing his Henley and heading back to his room. He hears the soft padding of feet and immediately knows it’s you, his smile hard to hold back when you round the corner.

“Morning Bucky!” you chime, smiling brightly and brushing your hand over his arm. He doesn’t flinch or pull back and you’re grateful for it. In the time since he’s been here you’ve learned that he is ok with a soft touch here or there and you have never pushed for more, letting him lead.

“Hi doll,” he answers sweetly, turning back around and following you. “What are you up to?”

“Well, I started doing some cleaning, so I opened the windows in my room to you know just air it out but then I noticed how beautiful it is, so I decided to go for a walk instead,” you explain with a giggle. “Want to come?”

Bucky pulls his Henley over his head and grabs his hat. “I’d love to!” he says.

The two of you walk out into the warm sunshine and start down the street toward the nearest park. Conversation flows easily and you’re just about to finish your latest funny story when your shoe gets caught in one of the metal grates on the street and you start to fall forward with a screech.

Bucky’s metal hand reaches out and grabs yours, easily stopping your fall and gently pulling you upright again.

“Woah! You ok there doll face?” he asks, giving you a squeeze.

You let out a shaky breath. “Yea, I think so! Thanks for saving me! That isn’t the first time I’ve tripped over those things!” you tell him.

“No problem,” he replies, giving you a moment to gather yourself.

When you start walking again neither of your release your hands and you can’t help but feel the butterflies start to flutter in your stomach.

Bucky looks down between your bodies at your entwined fingers and when you catch him you brush your thumb over his. His lopsided grin makes the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Now I don’t have to worry about you face planting again,” he teases lightly.

You’re just about to make a snarky remark when you hear yelling. Both you and Bucky turn your heads to see Sam and Steve on the other side of the path, waving and pointing. They jog over and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I thought you weren’t feeling like a run, Buck,” Steve chides playfully, Sam standing beside him with a goofy grin.

“Do I look like I’m running punk?” Bucky questions plainly, clearly not in the mood for them. “I’m enjoying a walk in this beautiful weather.”

Sam zeroes in on your clasped hands and mumbles something under this breath. Bucky shoots him a death glare and starts pulling you away.

“Alright, well have a nice walk. See you guys later,” Steve says, elbowing Sam so he starts running again.

When you get back to the compound you reluctantly leave Bucky’s company to go finish cleaning, but you promise to come find him later.

He makes a sandwich and grabs his book, sitting in the quiet common room to read. Nat, Clint and Wanda come in shortly after, bickering over what to have for lunch. They all greet Bucky, and he looks up with a wave.

“Do you want something to eat Bucky?” Wanda asks. “I’m making Paprikash.”

“I already ate thanks,” he answers and gets up.

“Well, there will be plenty of leftovers if you want,” Wanda shouts at his retreating form.

On the way back to his room Bucky considers stopping by to see how you’re cleaning is going but he decides to shower first. Afterwards he walks down the hall and lightly knocks. Waiting a minute, he still doesn’t hear anything and figures you aren’t in there, so he goes back to the kitchen.

Wanda, Nat and Clint are still there cleaning up from lunch.

“We’re going to play Pictionary when Steve and Sam get back. You should join us,” Nat says, looking at Bucky.

For a second it looks like he might agree to it but then he scrunches up his nose.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” he says, settling on a chair at the far end of the room.

Nat doesn’t push and grabs her phone. “Watch this guys,” she whispers to Wanda and Clint with a sly smirk.

A few minutes later you burst into the room.

“Where are Steve and Sam?! I want to play!” you nearly shout.

You feel a pair of eyes on you and look over at Bucky. You go to him and sit on the edge of his chair.

“HI! I was hoping I would catch you in here. I went by your room just before but clearly you weren’t there,” you giggle.

“I did the same thing about a half hour ago,” he admits shyly.

“I must have been in the shower!” you explain as you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

It takes you both a moment to notice that all the chatter in the room has stopped and it’s strangely quiet. You glance over at Nat, Clint and Wanda, now joined by Steve and Sam and raise your brows. They are all staring and smiling.

“Who’s ready to play Pictionary!” Steve finally yells, breaking the silence.

“Want to play Buck?” you ask hopefully. “We can be teammates!”

He stands and reaches for your hand. “I would love that.”

You all pile onto the couches by the coffee table and Bucky pulls you down next to him, his arm falling over your shoulder. When you suddenly sit up you can see the worry etched across his features and you quickly reassure him.

“I just want to go grab my sweater. It’s always so cold in here,” you explain with a soft smile.

Bucky nods but then stops you.

“You could just take my Henley if you want?” he asks in a whisper. “I definitely don’t need it.”

“Yes please!” you tell him excitedly.

He stands and pulls it off, helping you get it over your head before you both sit down again.

You snuggle into his Henley and then under his arm as the two of you continue to talk while Steve sets up the game.

Sam leans Steve’s way, not bothering to keep his voice quiet when he says, “I can’t wait until the wedding when I can tell everyone what a broody bastard he was until she came along.”

@addikted-2-dopamine @bugsbucky @book-dragon-13​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes @eurynome827 @fxckbuckyscoming @hiddles-rose​ @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @loricameback​ @lizette50 @lookiamtrying @marvelgirl7​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @cherryblossomskye @tuiccim @whatrambles @white-wolf1940