#ok cleaned this up like 13 hours later!!

[ping-ski]

im goNNA BE LATE FOR WORK CAUSE I WANTED TO COLOR THIS WAGHH PLEASE TAKE IT

LOVE, DEATH, AND ROLLERSKATES AU by @spadillelicious !!!!

[sabrina-kpop]

Can I request a hashira x fem reader one-shot who has the powers of winter from aespa's new Supernova but the drawback is that she gets sick and vomits blood + she has lucky girl syndrome (which means she's lucky asf)

ིྀ∘˙༺𝐵𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝐵𝐴𝑁𝐺༻˙∘ ིྀ

Thank you for this request!! I have shaken up the story a little... Reader is the youngest of the hashira and is like a little sister to all of them! (This does not include child x adult)

WARNING: this includes Vomiting, blood, cursing, mentions of child abuse and slight p3doph1lia if you feel uncomfortable with these topics please don't read

You are grateful for having the hashira as your family, They saved you when you we're weak. And treated you like human. You were experimented on by a higher rank demon, you were to become a weapon to kill hashiras and swordsmen.

When Gyomei found you, you were terrified by what he would do to you, but he later then convinced you that he was trust worthy and you should come with him.

When the two of you arrived at The Ubuyashiki Mansion Gyomei immediately took you to a place you later learned was called the butterfly estate. When the both of you arrived you were greeted by two women.

One was taller and had long healthy black hair with a two butterfly pins on the sides of her hair, the other was a lot shorter and had her hair up and she had black hair with purple tips and looked angry.

The two women took you to a room to do a check up once they found out you were covered with scars and syringe wounds they immediately began treating you.

That was eight years ago and now your 13 and a hashira, everything in your life is perfect. You are currently out on a mission with Giyuu, although he isn't that talkative his presence comforting.

You two were called to a nearby village were it was reported that young girls went missing during the evening.

Nonetheless you and Giyuu arrived and the both of you decide to stay in a inn to recharge do to you finding a hundred dollar bill on the ground and insisting Giyuu to take you to go shopping for hours....

"Giyuu-san!" You said looking over at the dark hair male who's currently eating sake daikon.

"Hm?" He hummed unable to speak do to his mouth being full with his favorite dish which made you giggle.

"I'm bored.. Let's play a game!" You said as Giyuu look at you. "Let's see..Think of a number! " you said happily waiting for the water hashira to let you know when he's ready. "Ok." He plainly said still eating the food.

"Hmm.. Seven! "

He then nodded, not fazed by your luck as you jump up a down, acting as if your luck wasn't the cause of you guessing ."Giyuu-san let play aga-"

BOOM

You were interrupted by a loud bang outside, you and giyuu immediately got your blades and headed out.

"Y/n protect the people in the building I'll fight! " yelled Giyuu but you couldn't help but feel angry on how protective he is of you.

"But I wanna fight! I never get too!" You barked back.

"Y/n now is not the time for argui-" Giyuu was cut off do the demon attacking which caught him off guard. You followed his order and began helping people on the side.

"You're a hashira aren't you? Oh how I just love how you guys scream in agony as I rip you limb by limb!" Said the ugly demon as he continued to attack Giyuu in which he doged and used his water breathing.

"Missed! Haha! You hashiras are so weak now a days!" The demon said as he used his blood demon art to stab Giyuu in the leg restricting his movements

"Giyuu-san!" You yelled

Suddenly the demons gaze turned to you and the little boy in your hands.

"Mmm! How I love young innocent girls!"

He said as he used his blood demon art to send blood like blades to your direction.

Without thinking you used your special ability to dodge fly high up in the air with the boy in your arms"

"What the fuck!? Are you a demon!?" The demon said as Giyuu signaled you to distract them for he can get a clean slice of on neck. You nodded forgetting the drawbacks that this plan will take.

As the demon uses his blood demon art to send sharp spikes at you you kept dodging and using your abilities to pick up stuff and try to him trying to restrict him from catching Giyuu.

The demon managed to stab your thigh as you scream and fell hugging the little boy in your arms so he wouldn't get hurt.

Giyuu took this chance to painfully jump behind the demon and slice his neck off. The demon's head fell to the floor and began to curse out Giyuu, as he simply ignored it as he watched the demon disintegrate Into thin air.

*Cough* "G-Giyuu" he immediately flashed his eyes to the sound of your raspy voice as he saw a blood bath coming from your mouth. "G-Giyuu-san take the boy a-and find his mother" you said as you vomited more blood.

In a state of shock and fear, he immediately picked you and the boy up and ran as fast as he could to the butterfly estate.

Upon arrival, Giyuu started shouting for Shinobu which is unusual for him scaring most of the butterfly girls.

Giyuu slide the door open as hard as he can which startled Shinobu. "Tomioka-san what's wrong with yo- Oh my!" An interrupted Shinobu said as she laid eyes upon your bloody limp body in Giyuu's arms.

Shinobu immediately called for backup and she took you from her arms and ran to a surgery room.

"Hey dumbass" I certain white headed man said behind the water hashira as he turned around.

"The hell happened to you? Why are you covered in blood and why the fuck you were yelling?"

Giyuu looked at the Sanemi as he plainly stated. "It's y/n she used her abilities to much to a pint where she couldn't handle it."

"Why the fuck would she do that!" Yelled the wind hashira "And why didn't you stop her!" He blamed. Giyuu looked away ignoring him as he waited patiently for Shinobu.

"She's okay, she just needs to rest for some weeks and she'll be good as new!" Said the black and purple haired girl. "Poor thing she looks so weak" said Mitsuri "Yea no shit she lost a lot of blood" said Sanemi and Iguro gave him a death stare.

The hashira's decided to visit you after they found out about your conditions, checking up on you everyday as Shinobu gave you medicine.

When you finally came to you were needed by nine familiar faces.

Mitsuri and Rengoku gifted young a whole bunch of food.

Uzui gifted you some nice jewelry.

Iguro gifted you a pair of new socks.

Sanemi asked if you were feeling well time to time.

Shinobu gave you some butterfly clips and some poison to help you during battle.

Gyomei sent you a whole bunch of prayers.

Muichiro gifted some of his origami.

And lastly Giyuu gave you an apology for not protecting you. You said that I didn't matter and that your safe and should leave it in the pass. But Giyuu swore from now on he would protect in anyway possible.

You're grateful for having this family and hope to make more memories with them.

[opiopal]

Had this idea for a WHILE. What about a cleaning day at RAD? Not like dusting the shelves, or removing cobwebs.. im talking full soap and water cleaning. water mixed with soap on the halls. Removing the boards and cleaning the walls behind them. Maybe wizard, mc and thirty sliping while cleaning the halls? pushing eachother playfuly? X3 (wrong. 13 wanted to bash his head with that steel door handle.)

BRIWURBWK LMAO,

When I first read this I assumed slipping like the ground was wet, then I was like “huh I think that would also be silly” so I did add on slightly lol(also thank you for the request!)

I can imagine the brothers(minus luci) dragging their feet and complaining, and eventually mc starts feeling down too, probably because the complaining is starting to make them want to complain as well. But then they notice two familiar faces at the other end of the hall, so they grab a mop and sneak away, quietly saying that they’re going to go clean the floor over there to both be able to later claim that they did infact say where they were going AND to avoid being followed by one of those debby downers.

they rush over and motion for the two to follow as they duck around the corner, of course both thirteen and Solomon are willing to go literally anywhere with mc so they don’t ask until after they’re a good ways away from the group. Which thirteen gives a hearty laugh and Solomon chuckles after mc explains that they snuck away to clean literally ANYWHERE away from alll the moaning and groaning.

after a bit of the three talking and chatting, mc noticed that they forgot to wring out the mop a few times in the bucket and accidentally soaked the floor with suds and water, as they go to warn the other two and- CRAP- They slip and hit the floor hard, thirteen panics and goes to help them quickly- only to also slip and slide across the floor on her chest, knocking into Solomon who’s legs are swept out from under his feet and he lands on his chest as well, landing over thirteens back and hitting his face on the soapy ground.

theres silence before mc looks over at them and snorts, then slowly begins laughing at them as they both raise their head back up, they both also start laughing as they get off the ground(or try to)

Honestly a good hour goes by where they’re all sliding around on the floor, once one gets up another decides to lunges forwards and shove the other, causing a small laughing fit before the other person also gets knocked over (though thirteen seems to shove Solomon a little extra hard anytime they get close to anything dangerous…) mc slowly glides across the floor while going “look I’m magic!” While trying to avoid falling, while Solomon gives them sarcastic praise for learning such a complicated spell! Then thirteen copies what mc did yet with more grace, which then thirteen links an arm around one of mc’s and they glide around while mc struggles to not fall on their face, solomon goes to join but thirteen gets back to the shoving game very quickly, so it turns back into that,

eventually they make it back to the group to recap what’s been done, the gym has been swept and floors cleaned, the student council room had chairs wiped down, floors cleaned, windows cleaned, the newspaper room got its machines cleaned, floors, windo- why is mc thirteen and solomon absolutely soaked??? everyone looks over confused and baffled as mc begins to slowly explain through giggles that they had completed the west halls and a bit of the north halls, as thirteen squeezes suds out of her hair and Solomon wrings out his cloak(idiot was wearing it while cleaning what a LOSER/pos), after a bit luci gives them a slow nod “uh-huh…. And is that all you three accomplished in the last two and a half hours?” “Yup!” He stares for a long moment before sighing and rubbing his face, “ok, what happened.” “Oh nothing! I just slipped is all!” Mc smiles, then thirteen adds on, “a lot” “yes yes,” “I mean a lot a lot,” “mhm!” Luci stares between the two, glances at Solomon a few times, then crosses his arms. “Well. I’m assuming you two attempted to help, also fell, and got distracted.”

“no way!” “No no never” “nuh-uh”

they all object, talking over each other, Luci is frustrated to say the least, but there’s not much he can do since they did infact clean. Even if they were goofing off.

(sorry if this is bad, also I promise to those of you who requested stuff the other day I am infact getting to them! I just suddenly got like 6 requests at the same time lol, though I do appreciate it! And I’m very excited to get to it!)

[wubbowrites]

how to get over your feelings for that stupid blue hedgehog

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog

Relationship: Sonic/Shadow

Rating: General Audience

Warnings: none!

AO3 Link

A step-by-step guide for ultimate lifeforms.

—

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. You won’t want to eat so early, but your roommate’s voice in your head will tell you to. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make toast, an egg, or some other food.

(3) Don’t think about what you would make if he was here with you.

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. You won’t want to eat so early, but your roommate’s voice in your head will tell you to. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make toast, an egg, or some other food.

(3) Don’t think about what you would make if he was here with you. Pretend you don’t care what he likes for breakfast. Pretend you don’t already know that he likes blueberry pancakes, or cold leftover pizza.

(4) Check the living room. If your roommate left a mess from the night before, tidy it up. You don’t usually clean up her messes, but you can’t stand living in a cluttered home. It’s unnatural to you. So make this exception.

(5) If your roommate is not asleep in her room, check your phone. You don’t like using your phone, because it has too many apps on it that you barely know how to use, but check it anyway. You will likely have a text from her with a selfie, where the background will only vaguely reveal where she’s conducting her latest heist. Send her confirmation that you’ve seen it — a thumbs up emoticon or an “Ok.” will do, even if she teases you about your choice later.

(6) Shower. If you get caught up in your thoughts, put on your classic rock playlist to ease them. If you catch yourself thinking of him, blast your heavy metal playlist at full volume so you can’t think at all.

(7) Put on your clothes. If your shoes have visible dirt, quickly polish them up. Don’t forget your inhibitor rings. You never have, but still make a point to remind yourself not to. Don’t take that risk.

(8) Leave the apartment. Go down the stairs, cross through Club Rouge, and exit the building out the back door. Fill the food and water bowls you keep out for the local stray cats.

(9) Don’t give any stray cats you see a name, because you can’t let yourself get too attached to them. Contemplate taking one in anyway.

(10) Run any errands for the day now so you don’t have to later. Shopping early in empty stores relaxes you, while shopping afternoons and evenings in crowded stores irritates you. If there are no errands to be done, go back into the apartment and find something to read for a few hours.

(11) In the late morning, you will likely be contacted by someone asking for your assistance. It might by someone from the Restoration. It might be the one of the detectives trying to follow up on a lead. It could be any number of things. Whether or not you decide you’re above helping them will depend on your mood that day. Except when the request is to watch a young rabbit while her mother is out of the house. That you cannot deny unless you have a damn good reason.

(12) Don’t hold hope in the back of your brain that he will reach out for your help too. Don’t admit that if he made the smallest request, you would fulfill it, even if you sighed and glared and grit your teeth the whole time.

(13) At midday, get lunch. Keep the apartment’s fridge stocked with easy meals in case you need to decompress there. If you need to keep moving instead, there are plenty of restaurants to go to on the way to your favorite forest spot. Pick something up from one of those and head there.

(14) Eat alone again. Spend some time staring out at the beautiful scenery. Think through anything you need to (it’s not brooding, no matter what anyone says).

(15) Find somewhere to train for the afternoon. Stay in the forest, or go to Club Rouge’s basement, or visit a gym. It doesn’t matter where you go, so long as there is somewhere to run, or something to hit. Somewhere empty is still preferable to somewhere crowded so you don’t get distracted. Theoretically.

(16) Theoretically, because wherever you choose, no matter how quiet or remote, he will somehow turn up. He always seems to know where you’re heading for this — like he can read your mind. Act as if that frustrates you.

(16) He’ll challenge you to a race, or to a fight. Try to deny him. Try to remain alone. Try to ignore the way his emerald eyes stare at you, fond and competitive. Fail.

(17) Have some of the most fun you’ve ever had. Even though you’ve given in to it so many times, letting off steam with him will never stop being the most fun you’ve ever had. It will seem better every time. Pretend it’s an imposition. Pretend that you’re glad to be rid of him when he finally prepares to leave, even though you will want to grab his arm and beg him for another challenge. Pretend that being alone again is a relief. Pretend until you almost believe it yourself.

(18) Reject his invitation to dinner and go right back to the apartment. Your roommate should be home by this time, unless her heist is particularly treacherous. She will likely suggest getting takeout, because she doesn’t care to cook. You can try to suggest where, but she’ll probably decide on her own anyway. She knows what’s good, though, so don’t get too annoyed about it.

(19) Eat with your roommate if she gives you space. Eat alone in your room if she asks too many questions, or pesters you about when you’re going to say something to him. She won’t take “never” as an answer, so it’s not worth the trouble.

(20) Don’t wish that you’d accepted his invitation to eat.

(21) Take time to truly unwind before bed. Finish your book, or rewatch that anime you like, or stare up at the ceiling and let yourself zone out. Go for a walk with your roommate, if she hasn’t been a pain.

(22) Don’t waste your final few hours of the day wondering how he’s spending his.

(23) Once the clock hits 11pm, go straight to bed. Fall asleep in a timely manner.

(24) Don’t notice the silence. Don’t fill the silence with your mind. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him.

(25) Tell yourself that these feelings are a fluke. Tell yourself they’ll fade over time. Try to forget that they haven’t faded since you discovered them months ago. Try to forget that the feelings probably started way back when, on your second fall to Earth.

(26) Convince yourself that tomorrow will be the day you deal with it, once and for all. Don’t imagine what you might do to “deal with it”, because you really don’t know, but you know it must be done.

(27) Fall asleep.

.

.

.

(1) Wake up at exactly 6am.

(2) Go to the kitchen to have breakfast. Take the bag of loose coffee beans out from the cupboard to snack on while you make blueberry pancakes.

[wrathofrats]

Day 11: marking/ breath play

Prompts by @kroas-adtam

Swiss and dew have to be weird about the face paint bc its fucking swiss and dew

“Honestly I wished they’d just give me a balaclava at this point” Swiss sighed as he looked up meeting dews gaze.

It was always hard for dew to not stare at Swiss while he put his face paint on. The black paint covered the tips of his fingers as he smeared it onto his face and mouth. Swiss claimed it was faster than using a sponge, and less wasteful. Always mumbling something about not being bothered to actually do it properly, it was going to smear anyways.

“Harder to breathe though, and you can’t sing. Think I rather have the paint”

Swiss squirted another thick glob of paint into his hands, rubbing it around before wiping on the other cheek. He took special care to get it into his stubble, tried to get as even of a coat as he could, even if it would be faded and streaky within the hour. His fingers left marks on his face as he worked, lines and texture coming through once it started to get tacky.

“Eh, you could just put a hole in the fabric”

The entirety of his hands were covered in the stuff now, The rough calluses and veins sharply outlined. Swiss’ hands were so big, especially compared to dew, long thick fingers completely stained an inky black, faded to grey around his wrists. He doesn’t even know how Swiss could get that messy in the time they had. He doesn’t think he cares anyways.

“Wouldn’t that look stupid?”

Swiss just shrugs.

“Do I look ok?” He smiles

“Same as you always do”

Swiss leans on his elbow to stand up and push his chair back. He raises his hands in the air to attempt to not get the paint anywhere else. The venue's vanity still winds up getting black streaks on it, but they’ll clean it up later.

“Can you help me wash this off?” Swiss asks

Dew looks at him confused, Swiss usually does it himself. A quick run to the bathroom and he’s usually out in 5 minutes to start grabbing things from the crew. They don’t have much time anyways, about 15 minutes to call, nothing about the plan makes sense.

It was hard to get used to the chaos. Swiss always making up convoluted plans that end up with someone in trouble, or hurt, and on the off chance everything went right it usually still wasn’t a good idea in the first place. He doesn’t know he says yes, but he does anyways.

“Do you just use soap or-“ dews statement is cut off as Swiss quickly pulls him into a bathroom, slamming the door and clicking the lock in one swift motion before backing dew up against the wall.

“We don’t have fucking time for this swiss” dew tries to push against his chest and slip past him with a sigh. He knows these plans don’t end well for him, especially not when he has to be on stage in 13 minutes.

“Saw the way you were staring at me droplet” he gives Dew a crooked smile, white teeth contrasting sharply against the black paint. “Know you love the way my hands look like this”

“Shut up, can you just be weird later?”

“Cmon, you said you rather have the paint right?”

Dew rolls his eyes “you know what I meant, move”

Swiss wraps his hand around the back of dews head, thumbing at his lips, “hold still, gonna make you real fucking pretty”

Dew stops moving and watches Swiss intently, he smears the still wet paint on his hands onto dews lips and cheek where he holds him, the bitter chemical taste invading his taste buds. His cock kicks in his pants as Swiss’ thumb runs down his chin, hand wrapping around his throat.

“Just want to mark you as mine sweetheart, said you wanted this didn’t you?”

Dew hates the way Swiss smirks at him. He hates his confidence. He hates that he’s completely right. His senses are filled with the plasticy smell of the face paint and Swiss’ cologne as Swiss’ grip starts to get tighter, a warning, waiting for dew to tell him no.

He doesn’t.

The heel of his hand digs into his throat, cutting off his air supply. Dew closes his eyes and leans his head back against the cool concrete wall as his brain goes fuzzy at the edges, waiting for Swiss to let up.

Swiss releases the pressure around dews neck, “alright droplet?”

Dew nods, meekly whispering “again”

“Thought you said you didn’t want it” Swiss mocks, complying easily as dew lets out a short whine before Swiss’s hand tightens again. “That’s ok, know you like be to marked as mine. Gonna keep this on all night?”

Dew nods once again, letting himself completely embrace the feeling, now fully hard in his pants.

“Let anyone who sees you with paint around your throat know what I did to you, wonder if theyll know how much you wanted it”

[dinomite2]

Oscar and Rose (Pranks)

Another skit For @sodapoppss !

It was a beautiful morning for today and Oscar just woke for today, he got up and went to get some Breakfast

Oscar: Ok fridge let's see what you have for tod-

*Splat* Oscar was just hit by a sprung pie

Oscar: *inhale* *sigh* Okay reaaaal funny Rose Real funny laugh yourself up while you're at it haha just got my just desserts....

Oscar searched the kitchen for the paper towels or a rag to clean his face

Oscar: Ok where are those paper towels I swear I stored them in the top cabi-

*Splat* Oscar was hit by another pie causing him to slip fall

Its on

*Raspberry*

*Later*

Rose: *humming anarchy rainbow* hmm? *sees Bag of candy *

Rose: *reading bag* For Oscar DONT EAT OR OPEN im looking at you Rose, well I'd like to see you try *opens bag*

*BANG* Rose was blasted hard by a bagful confetti from the fake candy bag

.... Ok Oscar I swear to COD I'm going to kick you FUC%I#@ AS-

*Later outside*

Oscar was outside taking a small walk. that was until

*Laughing*

Oscar: hmm ? Hey What's going on around HE-

On a community board there was a picture of Oscar as a baby crying in a potty trainer

Oscar quickly rips the picture off the board and hides the picture behind his back

Random female inkling: Aww come on Oscar We don't even Know who the Baby is! Haha!

Oscar:*embarrassed* Hehe yeah... *walks away from crowd *

Rose im going strangle the $%/T out of you someday......

*Later *

Rose: Hey Oscar I going to take a bath soon see you

Oscar: Ok dont just take 50 minutes just to finish damn scrubbing yourself

Rose: I WON'T! Jesus Christ....

Rose Then went to the washroom to of course to wash herself but Oscar had a little surprise for her.

.

.

.

.

.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT FUCKING BURNS!!!!!!!

Oscar replaced Rose's shampoo with Szechuan peppercorns which are known to be Very hot

*SLAM*

Rose busted open the door with a towel covered over her and of course

Rose: ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS EVERYTIME I TAKE A FUCKING BATH!?

Oscar: Hey hey its your fault for Staying in the washroom for a whole hour Not mine

*Later Again*

Both Oscar and Rose were both cautiously walking around the house being careful about what tricks they could pull on each other that was until they both met

.

.

.

Oscar: um ok I think it's safe to admit that this prank war has gone too far I can't even wake up right without something popping up to ruin my morning

Rose: Yeah and I think I've developed a rash in a few certain....... areas...

*Sniker* Rose looked back with an "Are you serious" face

Rose: Ok look I'm sorry I took things too far its just that I wanted a little satisfaction from my pranks you kno-

Oscar: stuffing over 13 pidgons into my afro is not Satisfactory-

Rose: IM BEING EMPATHETIC HERE OK!? NOW SHUT YOUR MOUTH *sigh* look all I'm saying that I want a truce ok so are ok? *holds out hand*

Oscar: Eh Ok truce *holds Rose's hand*

*Bzzzzsssttt!* Oscar was shocked by a joy buzzer by Rose

Hehe whadda you think of that eh?

Oscar stares then proceeds to strangle Rose

Enjoy!

[nutzworth]

its 6/12! i HAVE to read homestuck! i didnt read ANY last month. oops

DAY 9: JUNE 12, 2024

STATS: read for 2 hours and 30 minutes pages read: 1903-2068. 165 pages. act 5!!!!!! page 2000! slur count: 13 + 0 = 13 silly count: 13 + 0 = 13 piss count: 2/3

THOUGHTS: ohhh my god. ok not much original thought here but by god did a lot happen

ok LOTS OF TROLLS. this time. but we will get into that later

johnkat is so funny. karkat just kind of sucks. i guess were getting into it now HES SO FUNNY! hes so mean. esp to his troll friends in act 5. he has no whimsy and no fun. he loves to lie. hes oppressed hes a MUTANT yet he wants to join the military. even though the military would KILL HIM for being who he is. ohhh my god. his clean ass room. his romcoms. he loves romcoms. he sucks at programming. he keysmashes in here WHATEVER. back to the kids

soooo much guardian lore... so much LORE. i love nanna and i love pa harley. and their upbringing THEYRE SO WEIRD.

(about pa harley) ADVENTURE!!!! oh my god. "She can handle it, he tells her. He believes in her." AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HOPE PLAYER! i love the hope aspect im gonna go crazy in act 6 when jake is there. but right now? this is FOOD. im EATING IT UP!

michael guy bowman is so john egbert voice. its canon that dave strider is a whiteboy and that michael guy bowman is literally john egbert and thats IT.

dave is being so rude and mean to terezi. for the girl that said to john "WOW. MAKING FUN OF A BLIND GIRL? FUCKED UP!!!!!" she sure does turn a blind eye (LOOOL) to dave being like "yeah me and this guy? all up best friends. you know why? we can both see. and were going to this see party and theres so much shit and paintings and its great. to look at. and FUCK YOU. for being BLIND." and terezis cackling about her wonderful D4V3 1S TH1S YOU? drawings. theyre funny

[S] DESCEND!!!!!!!!! oh my god. what a flash. this would make me crazy if i was an upd8 reader. JACK NOIR IS INSANE. HE JUST KILLS EVERYONE! the music is sooo good too. it matches so well. its SCARY.

speaking of jack noirs destruction: ok here's more about wv. this is probably so surface level but it drives me crazy i need to restate it ok wv is a regular ass farmer. hes normal. the WAR comes. hes like GOD THIS SUCKS! he starts a revolution. he unites both sides. hes radical hes powerful and by god is he AWESOME. he faces jack noir. him and his big ass army. jack noir KILLS ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE ALL DEAD! except wv. which hussie puts it in the recap "Jack then killed the entire rebellion army, sparing only WV?. Perhaps to leave a survivor to tell the story, or perhaps out of respect for a fellow mutineer. Only he knows." WHAT????? WHAT!???? OKAY and so wv is surrounded by his brethren. his friends. his army. ALL DEAD. and at the same time prospit falls to skaia. and out from it is johns dream self. and a PLUSHIE. OF JACK NOIR.

this is insane. its like humiliating. its awful. its like jack is laughing at wv's face. oh my god. anyway wv rips it apart and hes real for that. I LOVE YOU WV!!!!!!!!!!!

not to mention PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let me just put some badass images in here. so you know

SHES SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes pissed off shes SO pissed off. she kills hb and uses his walkie talkie to call over jack noir. shes standing on that hill with the blood of jack's coworker flowing in the adjacent creek holding both the crowns covered in blood. she gets the promised package and SHOVES it in johns arms and storms off. shes PISSED OFF!!!! RIGHTFULLY SO! OH MY GOD!

and then the PACKAGE.... obviously you KNOW im crazy about the jake english cameo. but also....

this made me crazy. i like almost cried. oh my god. shes JUST DEAD. ON THE FLOOR. JOHNS SITTING THERE READING THESE LETTERS AND JADE IS DEAD!!!! IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sob. oh my god. and he sheds One tear. and then jack comes to kill him

i loooove how homestuck goes panel-heavy sometimes... along with the short "a [...] is [...]. [...], [...]." which makes no sense in writing. let me give you some examples

i love it. it makes the reading more poetic and slow. its like, make your own opinions on the subject matter. its matter-of-fact. its simple. its SAD. its like this event is so disconnected from everything were going in third person to describe it. its curt and its AWESOME. I LOVE IT!!!! i think if skaia had dialogue or narration or anything this is what it would sound like. it would give you pictures and a short description, and it would say "go fetch".

ok recap. not much but hussie says "Back in the meteor lab, John began the ectobiology session which appeared to have been prepared for him in advance by the guardians who had just been there." which i think is so cute. the guardians prepared it FOR him.... homestuck is truly a story about kids and the things that control/lead them. guardians/skaia/fate/each other/first guardians(bec, doc scratch). even the story itself. so awesome

THEN ACT 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the silly name for alternia translates to "turd odor fuckball" which is funny. and karkats silly name translates to "nookstain bulgereek" which makes sense

whats REALLY interesting to me is karkats parallels with dave. even in these first few pages karkat is SO SIMILAR to him. both slice their teasing names in half and say that they dont have time. theyre "Kind of a big deal, ok?". they have a need to seem "cool". karkat narration has the line "This was not the coolest thing you could have done just now." which threw me for a loop: i never thought of karkat needing to seem Cool. but he does he wants to. hes a leader. he pretends to be a leader. he doesnt want to show to sollux that he thinks highly of him cus he needs to seem COOL. i love karkat

alternia is a planet full of tragedy. they need to sleep in sopor slime to assuage the nightmares of "blood and carnage". theyre surrounded by so much evil and destruction that they need DRUGS EVERY NIGHT to be normal. auuugh.

honestly i pity gamzee waaaay more than i pity karkat. karkat has it good for all i care in the beginning. hes just not sharing his blood color. GAMZEE THOUGH? everyone thinks hes annoying. you can tell hussie writes him as if he's a joke; its clear hussie hates gamzees character and wants you to hate him too. but i cant. hes a hippie and an addict and a black boy. and i feel SO BAD that hes written like that. he could have been great if he wasnt in this situation :-( im sorry gamzee

rip sollux you would have loved reddit

karkat at the end of the karkat/sollux convo kills me. "hey i know we just bantered about how much we hate each other and stuff, but are we still friends?" hes so cute. are we still friends. yeah... yeah. and sollux is like "you say this EVERY TIME. are you joking" and karkats like "Yeah. Yeah im joking haha. Sure am" the poor guy. just wants friends THEYRE JUST KIDS!!!!!! SOB!!

i love terezi. shes so ANNOYING. and i love her for it. shes just fooling around all the time. she wants to piss people off. "Ohhhh karkat youre sooooo handsome and heroic!" hahahahahaha. she does NOT care. "But all of your scalemates are alive to you. ... At least you pretend to believe that to annoy people." SHES SO FUNNY! she gives NO fucks. i love how shes drawn too

then karkat comes in all like HEY TEREZI. IM THE LEADER!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU! what an asshole. but terezi dont care. you know what she does? "lol ok." and then "yeah the leader goes on this badass and seriously cool heroic adventure and hes awesome. and me (the second in command) gets to sit down and do nothing and be bored and its no fun" and karkats like "YEAHHH!!!! IM THE HERO! WOOOO!" and then it cuts to the actual game and terezis been fooling around with her gamey god powers. hahahahahahaha so awesome

okay thats it. i love aradia i saw like 2 of her. maaaybe ill read more this summer :-) bye bye thanks!

[krikeymate]

When Sam is 11 years old, she hears about a couple of kids in school who were taken by the CPS and she’s not really sure what that means, so when her classmates start talking, she quietly freaks the fuck out.

Because everything they’re saying sounds somewhat familiar. “Their parents wouldn’t make them meals for days” “the heater was off” “they would stay hours after school because no one picked them up”

Now it wasn’t that bad in the carpenters home but it wasn’t good either and Sam was smart enough to know what would happen to her and Tara if someone caught wind of what was going on.

The idea of Tara, small innocent Tara, being taken away from her almost killed her instantly. So, she goes home that day and does everything in her power to make herself and Tara look as presentable and healthy as possible.

She makes sure that Tara’s clothes are very clean and that they fit (they hardly ever fit so Sam dresses in clothes for 5 year olds when she’s 7/8, they look comfy and fit her much better), she learns how to cook quick meals (worried that an adult would question Tara about her meals or the groceries in their fridge), learns how to braid hair so everyone can see that Tara is taken care of, helps Tara with all her schoolwork even if it takes hours, and so much more.

She’ll be damned if someone takes her baby sister away from her because nothing matters to her other than Tara being happy, healthy, and more importantly safe…so how does she explain that to herself when the circumstances force her to leave Tara behind years later?

How terribly tragic, the pain. I usually have Sam being warned not to talk about her home life because she will lose her sister from her mother, but somehow this is worse - because her mother doesn't even care, she has to learn this is a risk from playground gossip.

I think it all comes down to the same kind of thing when we make the backstory so awful and Sam still leaves. Why does she leave?

Because by the time Tara is 13, their life is relatively stable, and Tara is old enough to look after herself in many - in most - ways. From Sam's perspective, it was a household of neglect not abuse (neglect of course is actually abuse). But her mother is paying the bills and leaving them money and leaving them to their own devices. Tara's doing ok in school, her asthma is stable, and she has some friends now. She doesn't need Sam taking care of her 24/7. So, Tara's in a good place. But Sam isn't. She's hooked on too much, all too aware that she's an addict, and she sees how sad her sister looks when she sees her, drunk or high or passed out on the floor. She started using because she wanted to forget, but the more she took, the more she remembered. A voice in her head would tell her that she's just like her father, that she'll snap, that she'll hurt her sister. If she took more she could drown out the voice. And she's so angry these days, unable to control herself as she tries to wean herself off. She wants to get better for her sister, for herself. She can't be here anymore, she can't wait another 5 years for Tara to be able to leave before she can escape, she needs to go now. But Tara will be fine, she's doing so well. She doesn't need to be coddled by her big sister all the time. And Sam's only going away for a little bit, she'll be back, she just needs to get out of town for a little while.

I 100% believe that when Sam leaves, she never intended to stay away. She leaves to get clean, she gets a job, she gets stable herself... and then the hallucinations begin. No longer fueled by drugs and alcohol. She can't go back to her sister with the spectre of her father in her vision.

Why couldn't she stay in contact with Tara? The temptation. It's too much. It would be too tempting to return home before she's ready, to put herself back in a bad situation. And by the time she is in a better place, she's overwhelmed by the hallucinations and what this means and the fear of being like her father and hurting her sister returns, no longer hidden behind the fog of substance abuse.

[qichonen]

if someone reads this and it sounds stupid tell me asap pretty pleaseeeeee ok?

right so i hate the idea of having kids but i dont.

i came to the conclusion that having children would be the worst thing to happen ever to me when i was 12 or 13 – and this was fresh off the heels of me doing research / finding out about disproportionate maternal death rates amongst women of color + the origin of modern day gynecology etc etc.

in my mind, not only did i have this sudden fear that getting pregnant in life would result in an early death, but the idea of being around screaming children and spending hours stressing over babies also plagued me.

— that's really dramatic for a 7th grader but im an only child (surprise to no one) who used to have this weird obsession w like... being upset id never be an aunt. idk i was weird but anyways...

putting that depressing atmosphere aside, im getting to a point where i think i wouldn't mind having a family later on in life (in my 30s maybe?). ive been transitioning out of the corny "love isnt real and couples are cringe" mindset since i was 15 and the idea of being able to find someone you love and trust, settling down somewhere with them, growing with them, and building each other up is something i daydream of nowadays. maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me, but whatever.

but i feel like having kids would be a sort of extension of that.

i always wondered why anybody would have children (outside of humans' natural survival instinct/societal pressure lol), and always chalked it up to selfishness and a person's need to "prove" themselves in some way. to prove they have some sort of purpose. because 14yo me was just wildly pessimistic ig.

but ive started to think harder and realize that if i were to ever have kids, it would be for the simple joy of them being a product of love.

fuck, that's corny. 😭

i think having children and being able to raise them with a genuine partner / significant other is such a beautiful concept. you get to raise these human beings from the start of their life to the moment they're ready and able to be independent. you create memories and essentially mold them, making your child a literal and figurative extension of yourself whilst simultaneously creating a new, unique personality. not only is that sooo fucking cool, but it's proof of the love YOU hold within you.

but the theory of conception and parenthood on its own... at least my theory... i just dont hate it as much i used to i guess.

of course, not everyone is privileged enough to have a simple or clean upbringing – and i fully understand that this post comes across very idyllic and kind of... silly? in that regard.

what would i know, though, lol.

[daemon-404]

when i was 13, i was kicked off of discord for being too young. my dearest friends were in there, and i didn't have any way to tell them; i didn't want them to think something bad had happened to me. so i made a new account.

i didn't want my parents to find out i was still using it. so i made a plan.

i- a 13 y/o, who didn't know jack about computers- followed my shortcut to the original file in the local appdata folder. i renamed the program to h0mb0g.exe, like humbug (beats me why, it sounded like the name of a chatroom program). i didn't want it to show up as "discord" in the weekly summary email microsoft sent to my parents.

that wasn't enough. i hid it. i hid it deep in a subdirectory in the local appdata folder. i hid it in the folder for vivaldi, the browser i somehow got that wasn't restricted by parental controls at the time. i created a new shortcut.

that wasn't enough. i wanted to make sure that if my parents found out, i would still have a backup. even if they restricted every browser and i couldn't download anything ever again, i wanted to have discord. so i downloaded it again.

let's have an interlude to talk about wondershare filmora. my beloathed. i had gotten it because it was free and had good reviews, but i didn't like the watermarks it left on my videos. so, i uninstalled it in the only way i knew how to at the time: i deleted as many files as i could find easily with its name on them. predictably, i started with the shortcut, which naturally only got it out of my line of sight, and i was frustrated upon finding the .exe and all its corresponding (at the time) incomprehensible files. i deleted those. then i found out about appdata and hidden files. i went through, looking for a place to put my new h0mb0g.exe, and was incredibly frustrated to see a folder there with wondershare's horrid name on it. i had had ENOUGH of this mid-ass, self-valorizing, stupid horrible useless program. so i got rid of the contents.

i hid the second discord in the now-empty wondershare folder in local data. this was still not enough. i dropped in another now-empty folder called shimeji-ee (anyone remember those?) and put it in there. with shimeji-ee full of discord and tucked safely away where no one would ever think to check, i proceeded to change the properties to "hidden."

everything was perfect.

4 years later, i'm freeing up space on my disk by looking for old files i could delete (it's the easiest way, don't @ me). vivaldi. i have no use for that anymore, this computer is mine now and the regular browsers are good for me. delete.

wondershare. i think to myself: i could never really get rid of it, could i? i think to myself: now that i know about computers, it's over, buster.

i can't delete it. something inside of it... is still open? weird. i can't figure it out, and i'm tired as fuck so i just call my dad (a programmer) over and ask him if it's possible to see what a program is open in. he tells me about this program called WhoLockMe, i get it, we spend about half an hour running command lines through powershell since my searchbar is bugging out so i can't search 'cmd' to get the regular command up and we can't find it through the alphabetical search. through this process, we fail to get wholockme open. then he tries to force the deletion of the wondershare file. it doesn't work. 'it's open', my pc insists, 'it's being used somewhere.'

we cannot figure it out. we really can't. i'm confused. i open the file. shimeji-ee???? i still have that???? what the fuck is that open in????? we try to forcefully delete that. it doesn't work. i ask my dad to give my computer back- in our search through installed programs i'd seen a few free demos that have run out and i think that'll work for cleaning up. ok, he goes back to reading his book. if nothing else, i can re-open shimeji-ee and see what's up with that. i open it.

discord is in there.

it all comes crashing back.

hysterics. i can't stop laughing. "it's not that funny," my dad says, "we have to think about how it got there! what if something was messed up?" (i'm paraphrasing). i can't tell him this whole thing, naturally, so i just say, 'oh no dad, i put it there, years ago.

i don't know why.'

that's not all, because here's the cherry on top-!

i restart my computer to reset the buggy search bar, and i go to tell my discord homies all about this, since we'll all get a kick out of it.

the shortcut isn't working. it says its target has been deleted or moved. it says, 'h0mb0g.exe cannot be found.'

it was THE OTHER ONE for 4 YEARS. my discord hotbar shortcut has been a remnant of my absolutely fucking insane 13 y/o self for 4 years. (i assume the reason "shimeji-ee" wasn't deleting was because it was running in the background or something as discord usually does).

i can not stop laughing.

[bacchicly]

List time...but surprise today is actually a good day! I just need to get things outta my head to make sure I get my timing right...

Ok so I just put a pork roast in for dinner and it is currently searing at 4:25.... Turn down to 350 in 13 mins.. (likely around the time I post this)

Veggies gonna be:

- canned cream corn (heat 5 mins before serving)

- apple sauce made with the apples I am roasting with the pork (fish out and smash - possibly add more apple - out when I take out the roast to rest)

- baked carrots and parsnips (5 start prep)

Personal To Do List (listed in order of priority)

Install new latch on cupboard under sink

Clean up/ practice demo I am doing tomorrow at work

Pack for prompt departure in the morning to work for presentation in the morning

Pack for trip I am taking later this week (this is shocking I am a throw things madly in a plastic bag madly before I leave person - which I hate)

Work clothing; IT; meds; toiletries; jewelry; makeup?; find damn sunglasses and things I need to drop off at head office

Further (spend an hour more?) on my new budget tracking spreadsheet - after trying other people's solutions and failing...I am trying attempt #4567923 to get on top of family finances. This time I am prioritising a blended bi-weekly/monthly approach that I sort of do naturally. I am also building it around my actual payweek schedule. And have "coded" it to analyse based on those patterns.... I.e. what happens when it is a 3 payweek month versus a 2 payweek month? What are 1st paycheck of the month expenses vs end of the month? We'll see if this time actually helps for awhile. Sigh. I suck at all of this. Oh well if nothing else...when you talk about working/middle/academic/artist class people funneling their money back into the economy instead of saving...and how important that can be... Well let's just say I see myself in that picture...and I am torn about how I feel about it. Money is a huge source of shame for me.

Re-attach eye patches on Stringbean - take photos and share

Ok so here's the timeline based on all that...I am only putting in the musts and then I am going to come back and fill in what I achieve:

It's 3pm (as I type) and I've turned down the oven:

1 am - sleep - alarm set for 7 am

Key time points working backwards:

1 am / 2 am... Who is counting

10ish - kid to sleep

11:30ish - husband home

Got kid to sleep by 10:20... Then tackled more work. Got it done eventually. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

6:30 - latest time to serve dinner

9:15 - drive to hockey & home

Helped with purple hair washing; but also did some work work. Didn't have to drive... Husband got ride.

8:00 to 9:00 - kid bath, jammies & reading

Fed people at 6:45...before that tried to do some work work but my computer needed charging so I did more on the family budget.

6:20 - call folks to wash hands, plate, choose documentary for dinner, cats in "cat jail" (we keep them out of the dinning area for fancier meals since they have terrible table manners)

6:15 - heat corn

6:00 - take out meat to rest and tackle applesauce

5:15 - carrots and parsnips in oven

Put parsnips & carrots in oven early. Now I have an hour to do some work. I wish I had an office.

5:00 - start carrot and parsnip prep

Work through personal to do list for 2.5 hours

Finished doing the latch...but I had to use armature wire to create a custom latch for the one side...apparently I should have bought a bigger latch.

3:20 - post my list

2:45 - write list

[hopelessboii]

Pity party (M! Reader)

A boy was sitting in his seat as he happily write a letter, his friend come approach him. "Hey, M/N, what are you doing?" He asked, M/N reached his bag and take a finished letter and give it to him. "My birthday is coming up, please come." He said with a grin on his face, his friend, Kei smiled, he put the letter in his pants pocket. "Oh, of course I will come! Can't let my friend celebrate his birthday alone!" He giggled, M/N pack his things and give the letter to all of his friends..

M/N has decorated his house, he even cook the food alone because his parents say that they have a business trip, M/N feel suspicious at first but he just slip the feeling away. 'I can't wait!' He thought and grin happily..

10:00 am

10:40am

11:54 am

12:01 am..

Just one more hour and they'll come..

12:46 am

13:00

Just a little minute..

13:10

They didn't come... They lied.. His phone ringed, he picked his phone, it was a call from Kei. "Hello? Kei? " M/N spoke. "M/N, I'm sorry to inform you that my parents and me was on my grandmother house because she was sick.." He said, M/N felt like he was betrayed.. Liars... He just see a picture where Kei and his family going to vacation... "Oh, ok..." M/N simply said as he hung up, he hugged his knee.. His friends supposed to come, they suppose to celebrate his birthday party together.. M/N can't even sleep at night because he was very excited, but seem like it was useless... M/N called one of his friend, asking why didn't they come, his friend only said that he was busy... M/N get up and sit in the chair, M/N cut the cake. "Happy birthday.." He whispered as he start eating the cake with a frown on his face... They all liars... M/N parents were just on a vacation, Kei too.. His friends was all at home, not even busy....

M/N didn't come out from his room at the next day, he lock himself up... M/N parents were at home, they see the half destroyed decorations and half eaten cake, the food isn't touched yet... "M/N! Why didn't you clean the mess!?" His mother ask him from outside of his room, loud sob can be heard.. "No one come to my party..." M/N sobbed, his voice was raspy as if he cried for an hours... "I don't see why's that the reason to leave the house mess and cry for an hours just because no one celebrated your party!! It was just a party!!" His mother scolded him, just a party... But M/N work hard on it... He believe that his friends and parents would celebrate it with him... He feel betrayed.. They didn't hear anything.. A minute later they hear a loud glass shattered and hit the floor from M/N's room. "M/N!! OPEN THE DOOR!!" His mother yelled. No response.. M/N's father kicked the door until it opened... M/N's room was a real mess... Glass was on the floor, the cover was torn apart, his clothes were at the floor, half rated cake... But more important M/N wasn't there.... They reach the window and see no one....

M/N was running away, he run to the top of a building.. It may sound stupid but he feel like no one really cared about him.... Everyday his friend would celebrate their birthday M/N isn't invited, when it's Christmas no sight of present at his room, and now his birthday.. No one come.. Kei always so toxic to him... He just become friend with M/N out of pity, he was secretly spreading bad rumors about the boy... One more step and then he die, if he step he can't return back.. He choose to step.. He was falling really fast from the building...

[thedreadvampy]

I am. For some reason. Being haunted by guilt for this one fucking thing that happened when I was 17. It keeps floating up whenever I try to sleep the last couple of days, I think it's cause Sam's been ill. so I'm putting it here in an attempt to exorcise it. please tell me if this is a situation it makes sense to feel guilty about 13 years later.

Ok so I'm 17, right? I have this boyfriend. He's 18? 19? Not 100% sure on timings on this. and we've been together for about 9 months.

I'm still at school. He's not - he dropped out of sixth form twice, doesn't have a job and is on and off benefits. He's living in his mum's house but I think by this point she's up and moved to Ghana without much notice, leaving him alone with 4 cats and a dog (I'm not actually 100% sure she'd moved out yet at the time but I'm the interests of steelmanning the guilt let's assume she had. I think she had).

We live in different towns - he lives in the nearest Proper Town, the one with like a train station and shopping centre and cinema and clubs. I live 2 buses away - there's a 45 minute bus that takes me from his to the town I go to school in, which goes every 20 minutes 6am-11pm, and then the 20/40 min bus (it takes alternating routes) that I have to take from that town to my village, which goes every 80 minutes 7am-5pm.

My habit at the time is leaving school on Friday, getting the bus to his, spending every weekend there, then going to school from his on Monday and going home after school to spend the week at home. So we sort of half live together - I do a lot of the shopping and cleaning for his house while I'm there cause I work and get a £20/wk allowance from my parents and have no bills to pay, whereas he doesn't have any stable income and since his mum left he's gotta pay for the bills on this 2 person house as well as food and stuff for himself and the animals.

So that's the context this is happening in. He's feeling very abandoned and not really coping, and I've been trying to fill that gap but also I Am Seventeen.

Anyway it's Christmas time, and I've agreed that I'll spend the run-up to Christmas at his and then get the last bus home on Christmas Eve to spend actual Christmas with my family.

I wake up on Christmas Eve about 3am because it is BOILING. I reach over and touch his skin and it literally hurts to touch cause he's running such a high fever. When he wakes up I ask him if he's ok, if he needs me to call the doctor etc, he won't let me do that. I get him water and paracetamol and honey and lemon and a bucket in case he needs to throw up but by about 3pm I'm like I truly have to go bc this is the absolute latest I can leave to catch the last bus home before December 27th (no buses on Christmas or Boxing Day).

and he is crying and begging me not to leave him and calling me selfish and saying I don't love him. and I do everything I can to make sure he's going to be ok and has plenty of food and water in reach and then I go.

(I was very right about the urgency of leaving if I wanted to get home, btw, bc it was below zero and snowing heavily and I JUST got onto the last bus at a dead run. and then that broke down in the snow 2 miles away from home, it was like an hour of just me and the bus driver sitting in an unheated bus while the snow piled up and he called the depot trying to get someone to come out 30+ miles to pick him and the bus up last thing before Christmas. Poor guy. Eventually my mum managed to drive out and pick me up and bring the driver a thermos of tea and some heat packs to tide him over until the cavalry came. so yeah there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in that travel plan.)

anyway my memories of that Christmas Eve have always largely focused on the bus thing. but like. the last few days I'm really thinking about how scary and lonely that genuinely must have been for my ex. like. if I'm right in thinking this was after his mum left, this was probably his first Christmas alone and he spent it racked with flu, running a fever in his room and his girlfriend just went away and left him to it. and like. That must have felt awful

and I keep just thinking should I have done something different? tried to get him to my parents' for Christmas? stuck around until the 27th? maybe talked to my mum and seen whether she could come pick me up on Christmas Day?

or like. even if i didn't do anything wrong. does it make me a bad person that I was so desperate to get out of his house and so relieved once I was away? like I just did not want to deal with that?

like it's obviously all moot, it was half my life ago and anyway it's a snapshot of a much more substantive and complicated relationship. but like. It's just sitting on me at the moment. while I flop around feeling sorry for myself bc I'm running a fever.

[innerangeltoadlover]

13. I find myself becoming ever more wary of these people because I feel like I’m being goose-stepped down a road which will find my sister innocent and I will be lost within my illness. It’s also disrespectful to my parents who were stoic in treating their children without bias whatever our personal issues may have been. Whitewashing my sister’s behaviour towards my parents by emphasising my illness is abhorrent to me and though my writing has cynicism I am not writing to win friends. I also know that psychiatrists are very aware of the stigma that surrounds this illness but appear to be reticent to admit that people of status can treat others like shit . There is also the fact that admitting my sister was abusive involves the house of cards upon which my diagnosis was built falling about their ears- admitting wrong doing is not a possibility. If she cannot admit the crappy elements that exist within her own class is she treating me or offloading the same shit that I have always endured and as such is she really part of the problem? She wants to keep these sessions so tightly bound that they are reflective of my travel through the world and not others. She does not want to explore my sisters abuse because doing so raises questions that may travel to her world however attempting to clean up the mess left by a previous psychiatrist by ignoring it may be good for her peers but not for me. I am still carrying a load which isn’t mine.

The dynamics of family life is another under explored area by psychiatrists. Having shared a bedroom with my sister for 18 years I believe I knew my sister quite well however this knowledge is again diminished by the diagnosis. As my sister was operating in the world in a manner which is characteristic of the norm, psychiatry wrote off my protests as part of my illness. My sister would arrive on her broomstick at my parents' abode which was a 2 hour drive (I say this because making the 1 hour drive to our mothers death bed was “too far” her words to the nurse who rang her 3 times ) with her children in tow as though motherhood had somehow transformed her into a human being. My father would wonder why she actually bothered to visit when she would spend her time in chaos mode. This decade of my sister's visits were without doubt the worst years of my life. I was sick, drugged to the eyeballs , suffering from poor sleep , and my sister would regularly enjoy yelling at anything I did she didn’t like or in fact did like because it never made sense. That was the thing about her abuse - I existed and was therefore her emotional punching bag. This was not however an experience i was unused to - sharing a bedroom with my sister involved being continuously verbally abused and advice on splitting up with a teenage boyfriend because as i later found out from my brother she would scream about in jealous tantrums - apparently it was ok if she had a boyfriend but not me. When I began to grow boobs my sister would find it fun to punch me in this very tender area. After Dad died there was a flurry of emails between the siblings and we informed my sister that her abuse had not gone unnoticed by any of the family and we weren’t going to put up with it any longer. We got an email from my sister which was obviously written by her husband - who by the way is behind much of this mess - saying that my brother and I were trying to change history ie family history. As a person with a history degree my eyes popped when I saw it. I realised that I was dealing with 2 people who were revisionists and that even in our own family, history is written by the victors. These 2 snakes that had slithered up the status ladder had no intention of telling the truth and those who believe status indicates worthiness would stand with them.

[echoesagain]

#12

Sample day in the life (at uni (can vary))

8:00- Wake 8:00:05- Turn off first alarm (Somedays by Regina Spektor) 8:15- Wake again 8:15:05- Turn off second alarm (Surfer King by A. A. Bondy) and actually get up 8:15:15- Groan and get dressed, start morning routine 8:56- Finish morning routine, reflect that I have 4 minutes, could've slept longer. 8:56:05- Wander around my room aimlessly, winking at my reflection, check if pears in window are ripe yet (definitely not), pack my pockets with more shit that I don't actually need. 9:04- Get on bus, put on depressing music so I can feel like I'm in a dystopian nightmare and justify my thoughts of strangling the person in front of me on the bus as I wonder if someone has vomited on my seat. 9:24- Arrive at uni, realise I have twenty minutes before my first lecture so go sit in a private study room, yawning, wishing I ate more breakfast and browse random shit on study computers. 9:25- See printer still isn't working, smile to myself that I'm not the only incompetent/ procrastinator in the uni. 9:25:30- Check my watch 9:25:32- Realise I still have no idea what time it is 9:25:33- Look at my watch and realise I knew all along what time it was but it turns out my subconscious hates me. 9:25:33.50- Internally rant at my subconscious self and berate my conscious self for ever listening, some how end up blaming all my failures on my subconscious. How self-respectful of myself. 9:34- Finish my rant and realise that I've been biting my nails again. Fuck, that'll hurt when it grows out again. Time to spin in my chair again. 9:35- Get bored, check pockets for more useless shit. 9:36- Dismantle my pen for the fiftieth time and decide to go to my lecture. 13:51- Get out of my last lecture seriously wondering what the actual fuck I just sat through and how the hell I'm going to pass my exams. 13:52- Talk about usual shit to people as we walk in a literal horde to a bus back home. 13:55- The bus is full. Fuck, I'll get the next one. They're never regular, urgh I'll have to socialise again. 13:56- Another bus, this one I get on. Thank god they're not regular or I'd have had to wait fifteen minutes. Talk about more shit with my "friends". 13:56:15- Run out of shit to talk to, browse Reddit and Tumblr. 13:56:50- I'm hungry. Awkward silence isn't helping. 14:00- Not home, still on bus. Realise that I could just get off here and go to the pub and not leave for about eight hours. 14:15- Arrive back home, promptly go get a sausage roll, reflect on consumerism and how I'll probably get fat or have a heart attack if I eat another one of these. 14:15:30- Shrug and finish the sausage roll. Hard to hate yourself with a sausage roll. 14:20- Get home. 16:34- Stop watching Netflix and start doing uni work. 17:15- Think I should probably make food. Ehhh, later, back to Netflix. 18:00- Ok, hungry now, food. 18:42- I fucking hate washing up. People don't know how to clean a draining board. 18:59- Drink some water. 19:00- Read some more books. Literature is very important to me, even if it's shitty teen stuff. 20:00- Realise I'm lonely, go and socialise in the kitchen. 20:00:30- There's no one in the kitchen and I'm just sipping tea and staring out the window. Who needs friends? 20:01- I really should talk to someone. 20:06- Hang out with my friend in his room, talking about shit and online shopping for stuff I'll never buy and assure him he won't run out of money. 21:20- Leave his room with an excuse, go to shop to buy snacks. 22:47- Think I should probably sleep. Check my timetable, set alarms for next day and close my blinds. 22:48- Fall into bed with my laptop. 2:25- Contemplate sleep again, this time my body wants it. 2:26- Curse myself, my self conscious and everyone who I've interacted with that day. 2:28- Finish regretting my life and all my choices. 2:30- Sleep.

I'll admit I glossed over some things and included some things that might have been unnecessary. I think I included a fair share of each and hope that it proves interesting. Hmmm, number 13 next. Not very lucky, I guess we'll find out. It's been over a year since I started this and I'm only on 12. I think that means it'll take about 20 years to reach number 231. Buckle up!

[jobean12-blog]

The Story of Us

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Count: 1,142

Summary: Bucky is broody muffin unless you’re around- then he’s just a soft muffin of love :)

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club cleanup the archive challenge and the super cute and sweet prompt below from my lovely friend @randomfandompenguin Thank you love! I hope you like this! You know I adore our beefy Bucky! Thank you all for reading and much love always! ❤❤❤ My beautiful divider is by @imerdwarf

Warnings: Soft and sweet fluff, Bucky’s read Henley, some friendly teasing and fun

“Hey Buck, Sam and I are going for a run. Want to join us?” Steve asks.

Bucky looks up from his cereal and shakes his head. “Nah, I don’t feel like going out now. Thanks.”

Steve shrugs and claps him on the back. “See ya later Pal.”

Bucky finishes eating his breakfast and washes the bowl before grabbing his Henley and heading back to his room. He hears the soft padding of feet and immediately knows it’s you, his smile hard to hold back when you round the corner.

“Morning Bucky!” you chime, smiling brightly and brushing your hand over his arm. He doesn’t flinch or pull back and you’re grateful for it. In the time since he’s been here you’ve learned that he is ok with a soft touch here or there and you have never pushed for more, letting him lead.

“Hi doll,” he answers sweetly, turning back around and following you. “What are you up to?”

“Well, I started doing some cleaning, so I opened the windows in my room to you know just air it out but then I noticed how beautiful it is, so I decided to go for a walk instead,” you explain with a giggle. “Want to come?”

Bucky pulls his Henley over his head and grabs his hat. “I’d love to!” he says.

The two of you walk out into the warm sunshine and start down the street toward the nearest park. Conversation flows easily and you’re just about to finish your latest funny story when your shoe gets caught in one of the metal grates on the street and you start to fall forward with a screech.

Bucky’s metal hand reaches out and grabs yours, easily stopping your fall and gently pulling you upright again.

“Woah! You ok there doll face?” he asks, giving you a squeeze.

You let out a shaky breath. “Yea, I think so! Thanks for saving me! That isn’t the first time I’ve tripped over those things!” you tell him.

“No problem,” he replies, giving you a moment to gather yourself.

When you start walking again neither of your release your hands and you can’t help but feel the butterflies start to flutter in your stomach.

Bucky looks down between your bodies at your entwined fingers and when you catch him you brush your thumb over his. His lopsided grin makes the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Now I don’t have to worry about you face planting again,” he teases lightly.

You’re just about to make a snarky remark when you hear yelling. Both you and Bucky turn your heads to see Sam and Steve on the other side of the path, waving and pointing. They jog over and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I thought you weren’t feeling like a run, Buck,” Steve chides playfully, Sam standing beside him with a goofy grin.

“Do I look like I’m running punk?” Bucky questions plainly, clearly not in the mood for them. “I’m enjoying a walk in this beautiful weather.”

Sam zeroes in on your clasped hands and mumbles something under this breath. Bucky shoots him a death glare and starts pulling you away.

“Alright, well have a nice walk. See you guys later,” Steve says, elbowing Sam so he starts running again.

When you get back to the compound you reluctantly leave Bucky’s company to go finish cleaning, but you promise to come find him later.

He makes a sandwich and grabs his book, sitting in the quiet common room to read. Nat, Clint and Wanda come in shortly after, bickering over what to have for lunch. They all greet Bucky, and he looks up with a wave.

“Do you want something to eat Bucky?” Wanda asks. “I’m making Paprikash.”

“I already ate thanks,” he answers and gets up.

“Well, there will be plenty of leftovers if you want,” Wanda shouts at his retreating form.

On the way back to his room Bucky considers stopping by to see how you’re cleaning is going but he decides to shower first. Afterwards he walks down the hall and lightly knocks. Waiting a minute, he still doesn’t hear anything and figures you aren’t in there, so he goes back to the kitchen.

Wanda, Nat and Clint are still there cleaning up from lunch.

“We’re going to play Pictionary when Steve and Sam get back. You should join us,” Nat says, looking at Bucky.

For a second it looks like he might agree to it but then he scrunches up his nose.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” he says, settling on a chair at the far end of the room.

Nat doesn’t push and grabs her phone. “Watch this guys,” she whispers to Wanda and Clint with a sly smirk.

A few minutes later you burst into the room.

“Where are Steve and Sam?! I want to play!” you nearly shout.

You feel a pair of eyes on you and look over at Bucky. You go to him and sit on the edge of his chair.

“HI! I was hoping I would catch you in here. I went by your room just before but clearly you weren’t there,” you giggle.

“I did the same thing about a half hour ago,” he admits shyly.

“I must have been in the shower!” you explain as you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

It takes you both a moment to notice that all the chatter in the room has stopped and it’s strangely quiet. You glance over at Nat, Clint and Wanda, now joined by Steve and Sam and raise your brows. They are all staring and smiling.

“Who’s ready to play Pictionary!” Steve finally yells, breaking the silence.

“Want to play Buck?” you ask hopefully. “We can be teammates!”

He stands and reaches for your hand. “I would love that.”

You all pile onto the couches by the coffee table and Bucky pulls you down next to him, his arm falling over your shoulder. When you suddenly sit up you can see the worry etched across his features and you quickly reassure him.

“I just want to go grab my sweater. It’s always so cold in here,” you explain with a soft smile.

Bucky nods but then stops you.

“You could just take my Henley if you want?” he asks in a whisper. “I definitely don’t need it.”

“Yes please!” you tell him excitedly.

He stands and pulls it off, helping you get it over your head before you both sit down again.

You snuggle into his Henley and then under his arm as the two of you continue to talk while Steve sets up the game.

Sam leans Steve’s way, not bothering to keep his voice quiet when he says, “I can’t wait until the wedding when I can tell everyone what a broody bastard he was until she came along.”

@addikted-2-dopamine @bugsbucky @book-dragon-13​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes @eurynome827 @fxckbuckyscoming @hiddles-rose​ @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @loricameback​ @lizette50 @lookiamtrying @marvelgirl7​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @cherryblossomskye @tuiccim @whatrambles @white-wolf1940