#both still coming out of this with grievous amounts of trauma

[lbhslefttiddie]

"Shen Jiu, you really are a demon!"

in which yue qi saves an injured fox kit, which turns out to be an young fox demon. once he's recovered enough strength, he adopts a human form so that he can talk to yue qi properly, but ends up being caught by the slave traders as well. Since he can change form, it would be pretty easy for him to escape, but if he's discovered as a demon he'll never be able to return, and he has no home or family anyways, so he decides he would rather stay and help qi-ge, who will probably get himself killed without someone to stop him from doing stupid shit.

when shen jiu saves yue qi from death by horse carriage, and subsequently is bought by qiu jianluo, fairly quickly qjl realizes he is not human, and delightedly gifts him with a enchanted collar, which renders him unable to chnage forms, stuck in him demonic form and unable to change to full fox or full human shape. like this, he cannot leave the qiu manor at all without immediately giving himself away, even if qjl hadnt also locked him up. like this, he has no choice but to wait until yq makes his way back to the qiu manor at last, but when he's finally freed, he's initially almost feral from how he's been treated, and very nearly kills yqy...

[genovianxprince]

OK I think I understand some of why some people in the fandom choose to make Mystra some kind of a terrible, grooming abuser to Gale. It's because every one of the companions has like a specific person you can point to and say, that is the abuser. That right there is the person who has caused the companion grievous harm. Gale and Mystra are a little more complex than that.

Shadowheart and Lae'zel technically have a whole cult/culture backing up the abuse, but you can still pretty directly point to Viconia and Shar for Shadowheart, and ultimately Vlaakith for Lae'zel as well as just... every Githyanki she ever met, except for Kith'rak Voss.

Wyll has Mizora, Karlach had Zariel and Gortash, Astarion has Cazador, all very obvious and self explanatory in the game. They were innocent, kidnapped, coerced, sold, played like a damn fiddle. But Gale?

Gale has Mystra, a goddess he loves, who also loves him, and the things they did to each other were both fucked up, and a lot of the fault totally lies with Gale! The other companions all had external forces affecting them. Gale's was mostly internal. He refused to believe he was good enough. "As inconceivable as it seems to me now, I shared a bed with a goddess and I still wasn't satisfied." A literal goddess, the one he favored, the one he was in love with, who favored and loved him back, consistently told him he was perfect as he was and he straight up did not believe her. He placed himself on a higher and higher pedestal he could never reach the top of because if he wasn't constantly climbing to some nebulous goal of perfection, then could he be good enough for Mystra?

Y'know, instead of just believing the woman he was in love with. And I get it! Insecurities suck! Especially when you've been the gifted child your entire life, perfectly talented at something that all the adults in your life go nuts over. But also, it is extremely arrogant to assume you know better than your literal goddess and be like "yo, there's a missing piece of the Weave and I can go get it" like... Mystra is the Weave, she would have known and probably sent someone on a quest if it were actually Her Weave and not Karsus' Weave.

Gale is INCREDIBLY hubristic and he keeps falling for that trap. He's overconfident. Hell, even after his year in isolation where he comes out humbled, a small group of people believing in him for a short amount of time gets him to go "omg, crown of karsus = godhood, I can totally do that and tell the gods they SUCK and overthrow Ao's rules!"

Like, babyboy, no.

Of course, Mystra is not without some fault. After Gale's initial... Folly-up, she just ignores him for a year. Damn, girl, what the hell! Well. You see. The Netherese orb is a fragment of the magic that Karsus used to try to ascend and steal her throne with. The magic that she realized was going to kill everything if she didn't sacrifice herself. For a moment, all magic ceased to exist, including Mystryl herself, and Karsus died. Then Mystra came into being. Gale tells you a short version of this story himself! So it kind of makes sense that Mystra would see this shard of magic and just... kinda have a trauma reaction! And to gods, time flows differently. It wouldn't shock me to learn she didn't realize it had been a year by the time Gale left his Tower due to mind flayer shenanigans. Naturally, she does not want to discuss the thing she's so terrified of, and just tries to have it destroyed without her having to touch it—the plan to have Gale blow himself up on the Absolute itself, and she would save his soul. And even after he disobeys her instruction, she still allows the orb to feed on the true Weave! She still lets him live without fear of blowing up randomly, even though it greatly distresses her to let this magic that killed her once feed on her own life force.

Then he reaches the city, and reads The Annals of Karsus, and realizes she's going to have to explain, despite not wanting to. And she summons him. Tells him exactly what's in his chest. Asks him to turn over the Crown and she will destroy the orb and face her own trauma, because Gale... doesn't want to die. She understands that. And she still loves him and his big beautiful brain despite how stupid he's been, and she wants to have him as her Chosen again.

Things will never be the same, of course. They both fucked up. Gave each other a bad time. But in the end, they forgive each other and move past it. Not as a couple, because things broke too much for that. But they can have a healthy relationship as Goddess and Chosen once more.

And that is what sets Gale and his trauma apart from the companions. He doesn't have a direct abuser or live in a horrific abusive society. He almost killed the goddess of all magic a second time and she had an understandably harsh reaction to that, even if it was still too harsh. I just don't believe it's only Mystra who fucked up here. Not by a long shot. Much of it lies squarely with Gale.

And, as for the grooming allegations [as far as people trying to say it is canon], literally just no. She's a True Neutral goddess. Gale literally tells you that you are not his first mortal lover, he had a few before he ever fell into Mystra's bed, and you're just the first since the breakup about a year ago. The game doesn't shy away from sex and sexual abuse in the least. Why on Earth would this be something hidden behind several layers of nonexistent subtext? It's definitely fun for AU's, but by Ahghairon's lost nose, no, it's not canon!

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

tumblr ate this ask when I saved it as a draft but I screenshat it so we're good. anyway

spicy 2BHankmos headcanons under the cut

- it goes unspoken that anytime all three of them are on base at the same time, they spend the night together

- Doc almost always takes the lead, in part because he gets flustered way too easily otherwise, and in part because he likes watching his partners get each other off

- between Hank and Deimos it's always a battle of wills via heated makeout, a battle that Deimos usually loses but it's not uncommon for Hank's impatience to get the best of him

- Deimos gets passed back and forth like a blunt at a party, Hank determined to make him cum as hard and as fast as possible, and Doc content to edge him for an entire hour at times before turning him back over to Hank. poor guy can't catch a break

- as rough as he is, Hank is actually very affectionate during the act. he likes to hold his partners as close as possible, nuzzle his face into them, gentle lovebites

- Deimos has the praise kink of the century and Doc exclusively cashes in on this when Hank already has him mid-orgasm. is it mean? maybe. unfair? for sure. worth it every time? absolutely

- when Hank does end up on the bottom he tries his damnedest to keep quiet and not make it too much fun, but Doc knows all his tells and Deimos has an ever-growing score to settle, so his resolve only really lasts so long

- Doc tends to be a little more hands off, enjoying the show far too much sometimes. he's a kinky fucker though and knife play happens to be a favorite. it's rare but there's nothing he likes more than having Hank and Deimos bound and on their knees, letting him trace every scar, every ridge of muscle, every soft area with a blade, only ever breaking the skin when someone squirms too much. it leaves Deimos a sweaty, shaky mess and Hank more often than not doesn't need any other stimulation to cum, the knife enough to bring him over the edge

- there has been exactly one time where Deimos begged, and pleaded, and bargained, and made the most extravagant promises in order for Doc to bottom. exactly once. he ended up taking both of them at the same time, an absolute mess between them, louder than Deimos ever was. Deimos tapped out first surprisingly but still put his mouth to work, determined to get everything out of Doc that they could. if one of them brings it up Doc will insist it never happened, no clue what they're talking about, going as far as checking Hank for head trauma just to prove a point after he mentioned it near other SQ members

- of course, they aren't always together all at once

- Hank and Deimos, adrenaline junkies at their cores, spend more time doing it in places they absolutely shouldn't than the actual bedroom. missions, stakeouts, and anywhere on base that's secluded enough to get away with it. it's fast, hard, and always ends with either Hank's hand over Deimos's mouth to keep him quiet or an arm around his neck in a chokehold, whatever is easier in the moment

- when it's just Doc and Deimos, the praise kink comes out in full swing and Doc would swear Deimos is insubordinate the other 98% of the time just so he can all the more be told how good he is. and he is, willing to let Doc do anything he pleases as long as he gets what he wants. Doc made him cum seven times in a night once, and even though his legs were jello and he couldn't walk properly the next day, every gentle kiss and "good boy" whispered in his ear that night just made him want more

- Hank and Doc tend to take things slower with each other, enjoy each moment for what it is. this is in part because Hank is usually on recovery, grievous injury seemingly the only thing that can bring them together for any substantial amount of time. as soon as he's able to walk without ripping any stitches though he pulls Doc away from whatever silly computer thing he's doing and kisses every inch of his body

- Deimos has debated nipple piercings on and off. Hank is 100% on board but Doc likes to remind him that those can and will snag and can definitely be ripped out if he isn't careful. and he isn't. someday

- Hank has bit both of his partners hard enough to leave a scar. he hasn't said it out loud but it's his own little way of marking them as his

- there is not a surface in Doc's office that hasn't been defiled by one of them

[jenstar1992-2]

Here with You

Pairing: Echo x reader/ Hunter x reader

Warnings: Mentions of nightmares/ trauma, reliving a traumatic experience, Order 66 (because it’s a warning in itself)

Word count: 7,103

A/N: Well, I knew it, it hasn’t been a whole day since I saw the Bad Batch premiere, and I’ve already gotten my first writing idea (yes, this took me like two days to write because I kept getting interrupted). I just couldn’t get the image of my poor baby Echo in that med bay and seeing the trauma those damned Separatists caused him out of my head. All I want to do is hold him and never let go, he deserves the world. This was originally just going to be an Echo x reader, but it turned into a Hunter x reader as well, because I just couldn’t help myself, I love them both, and wanted both of them to get some lovins. Also, I get the sense that Omega is a smart kid, and that she’s pretty well spoken, so I tried to write her as such, while still keeping that childlike innocence, so hopefully it comes across that way.

So much had transpired within the last few days and you were still trying to wrap your head around all of it. The jedi had been almost entirely wiped out in a single day, and while you were certain their had to be other survivors besides yourself, you were unclear as to what that number was. Luckily for you, you had been amongst friends when Order 66 was given, and your men turned on you. If it weren’t for the Bad Batch, you were certain you wouldn’t be alive right now.

As you sat in the cockpit of the Marauder, the memories began to flood your brain, which caused involuntary tears to fill your eyes.

You and your men had been sent to Kaller to aid Master Billaba and her troops. However, upon your arrival, you were greeted with a pleasant surprise. It turned out, Clone Force 99 had been on planet already and had taken out a large amount of the droids before you even landed.

You had worked with this group before and had even enjoyed the experience. While your men thought their tactics and unprofessional antics were unnecessary and even a bit annoying, you found the group to be, for lack of a better term, fun. You had been around stuffy, uptight individuals for so long, it was nice to have a change of pace, and while your men were great, they tended to be sticklers for the rules and rarely wanted to take risks.

You also got along with this team rather well, enough to consider them good friends, but you were especially close with their newest recruit. You and Echo had known each other well before he joined the Bad Batch, even before his accident at the citadel, and had been friends for just as long, although as time went by and you found yourself encountering him more and more in your life, you slowly realized you might feel more for the trooper than you should, more than you’d ever admit aloud. So, when you’d heard of his survival and rescue, you had been elated, and that happiness resurfaced at the thought of seeing him again.

You exited the gunship and saw the rag-tag group of clones speaking with Master Billaba on the now quiet battlefield. They turned as you and your men made your approach. As you got closer to the group, you scanned the faces of its members before you found him, smiling brightly as your eyes connected, he did the same.

You came to stand before their leader, raising your gaze to meet the man’s unwavering stare.

“Sergeant”, you greeted him, extending a hand formally, which he took without hesitation, shaking it firmly.

“General, good to see you again”, he said with a smile.

“You too”, you responded.

You’d always liked Hunter, from the beginning he’d always struck you as a respectable man, and you admired the fact that he could allow his men to be their reckless selves while also keeping them in line, but only when necessary, it seemed. There was something else too, something you hadn’t noticed right away, but after a few more encounters with the man, you put it together, coming to an all to familiar realization, one that brought butterflies to your stomach, while also bringing about a slight anxiety. How could you let this happen, it was bad enough falling for one man you couldn’t have, but two, you were sure the universe was out to hurt you.

“General (L/N), I’m glad to see your trip was a safe one, and better late than never I suppose”, Depa said, drawing you from Hunter’s gaze to hers.

“Sorry Master Billaba, we were assisting Masters Luminara and Yoda on Kashyyyk when we got word of your need for reinforcements, we got here as soon as we could”, you said, then looking around at the desolated droids scattered across the landscape. “Although, from what I can tell, you seem to now have a handle on things.”

“Yeah, thanks to these guys”, Caleb, Depa’s padawan, exclaimed, gesturing to the group of men before you. “You should’ve seen it, they took all those droids out in a matter of minutes, it was incredible.”

You chuckled. “Yes, I’m well aware of the marvel that is Clone Force 99, and they do put on quite the show”, you said, shooting a quick glance Echo’s way. “Incredible indeed.”

Your words caused the trooper to smile shyly at you.

“Yes, well, we’re still glad you’re here, we just launched a counterattack, and the more assistance, the better”, Depa said.

You nodded. “You need us, we’ll stay”, you said before turning to your troops. “Men, a counterattack has been launched, I want you to rendezvous with Master Billaba’s troops and aid in the attack, Commander Roran, you’re with me. Let’s move!”

With that your troops dispersed, leaving you and your commander where you stood. You turned back to face everyone.

“So, how can we help”, you asked.

“Actually, I don’t think we’ll be needing your assistance after all, in fact, this war might soon be over”, Tech spoke up, causing you to give him a confused look.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, according to the encrypted comm chatter, Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi has found and engaged General Grievous on Utapau”, he responded.

“If he captures, or kills Grievous, the separatist command structure will collapse”, Echo chimed in.

“And most likely the droid armies along with them”, Tech finished.

“It can’t be that easy, can it”, you asked, looking to the jedi master.

“While it is an interesting theory, I would not bet our hopes on it, we should focus on the task at hand”, she replied.

“I agree, we should focus our energy on this attack, strike while we have the advantage”, you said.

Hunter nodded. “Any orders, or shall we do what we do”, he asked, directing his words at Depa.

“What do you think General, should we let them ‘do what they do’”, she asked you.

You chuckled and folded your arms over your chest. “Probably our best bet, what do you think Caleb”, you asked the padawan.

“I say we let them, but only if I can go with them”, he responded.

You looked to his master, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Very well”, she said, giving the boy permission.

“Ronan and I will tag along too”, you stated, then looking to Hunter. “Just in case you guys need a hand.”

“Hope that wasn’t a jab at me”, Echo said, coming to stand beside you while simultaneously lifting his cybernetic arm.

You immediately regretted your choice in words and stammered your defense.

“N- no, I didn’t mean, I would never.”

He let out an amused laugh. “I’m just messing with you General, sorry”, he said.

You then scowled at him before poking a finger at his chest plate.

“Not funny”, you said, but couldn’t keep the smile from forming on your face.

“I said I was sorry”, you heard him say as you began walking in the direction your troops had gone. He soon caught up and walked alongside you.

You chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“Nah, but I did lose a couple other things”, he said, face turning slightly serious.

You stopped walking and just stood for a moment, a sad expression now adorning your features. Noticing your actions, Echo ceased his movements as well and looked back to you.

“What is it”, he asked.

You went to stand in front of him before you spoke your next words. “Echo, I am sorry for your loss, truly I am, but honestly, I’d rather you be here and missing a few limbs, then for you to not be here at all. I’m just glad your alive, and that I get to see you again.”

He stared at you for a moment with an unreadable expression before smiling and nodding.

“I guess you’re right, and I’m glad our paths crossed again, I…”, he began, clearly wanting to say more, but stopping himself. You caught on though and decided to voice it for him.

“I missed you too”, you said, giving him a warm smile, prompting one of his own.

You both began walking once more to catch up with your comrades.

“You know, I was actually surprised you recognized me, what with the countless differences and all” he said with a chuckle.

You shook your head. “You can change all you want, I’ll still know it’s you”, you said.

“Yeah?”

“Yep, you might’ve changed a lot on the outside, but inside, you’re still the same Echo I’ve always known and loved”, you said, saying the words before they fully registered with your brain, but once they did you nearly froze in your stacks, your face instantly reddening with embarrassment. You quickly tried to back track before he could respond. “I mean, uh, well, y- you know what I mean.” Smooth.

He chuckled, amused at your obvious embarrassment of your less-than-ideal choice of words yet again.

“It’s okay, I know what you mean”, he said, giving you a reassuring smile before seemingly letting the subject drop, much to your relief.

You nodded as you carried on toward the others.

Suddenly, a wave of emotions flooded your mind, and it was as if hundreds of voices were crying out within the confines of your skull. You stopped, placing a hand to the side of your head in an attempt to stop the dizziness that accompanied the voices.

Echo noticed and came to your side, placing a steadying hand to your back.

“Are you okay”, he asked, clearly concerned.

“S- somethings wrong, I feel… death, so much death, I don’t know…”, you began through heavy breathes, but you were soon cut off by the sound of blaster fire.

You both looked to see Master Billaba’s men attempting to gun her down as she deflected their blasts with her lightsaber. Before you could fully process the sight in front of you, you heard Caleb yell for his master, seeing him rush past you, saber ignited and ready to jump to her aid.

“Caleb, no…”, you shouted, but before you could run after him a burning pain in your left arm stopped you.

You grabbed your now wounded arm and turned to see Roran facing you, blaster raised and aimed directly at you.

“Commander”, you said in confusion, but before you could get another word out, he was firing again. You were able to deflect the blasts with your saber, yelling at him as you did so. “Roran, why are you doing this?”

Suddenly, the blasts stopped as Echo came to your aid, wrestling the blaster out of the commander’s hands before knocking him out cold. He then rushed to your side once more, seeing you kneeling and clutching your head.

“General, (Y/N), (Y/N), can you hear me? Say something”, he urged, but try as you might, you couldn’t form the words to respond.

Your head was swimming in a sea of pain, death, and betrayal, most of which you were certain weren’t coming from you, more like from the force itself. You’d felt disturbances in the force before, but none like this, it was all encompassing and soon you found yourself slipping from consciousness from the intensity of it all.

***

When you finally came to, you found yourself laying in a bunk aboard the Havoc Marauder. When you tried to sit up a hand caught your shoulder and gently coaxed you back down.

“Easy (Y/N), you don’t want to push yourself, you sustained a pretty bad injury, you should rest”, a familiar voice said softly.

“Echo, what, what happened… they turned on us, why would they do that”, you asked, looking at him with confusion and sadness mixing in your expression.

“I don’t know, we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves, but you’re safe now, I won’t let them hurt you again, you have my word. Now rest”, he said, trying to comfort you, but knowing it wouldn’t help much given what you’d just been through.

“No”, you heard someone say, the volume of it startling you slightly, and you looked to see that it was Hunter, who had just entered.

“What do you mean ‘no’”, Echo asked him, confused.

“I mean, she can’t stay here, it’s not safe”, he explained, and when you both gave him a befuddled look, he continued, “It’s Crosshair, there’s… something wrong with him. I think whatever happened to those soldiers is happening to him too, but I can’t be sure.”

“What makes you think that”, you questioned, finally sitting up and turning to place your feet on the floor.

He looked behind him, making sure you three were the only ones in ear shot before bending down to your level.

“He tried to kill that padawan”, he said, so low it was almost a whisper.

“Caleb, is he alright”, you asked, fear and concern thick in your voice.

“He’s alive, but other than that, I’m not sure. He ran off after…”, he began, but the words died on his lips.

You nodded in understanding. “So, what should I do, where should I go?”

“Stay here, on Kaller, find somewhere to hide. We’ll go back to Kamino and sort this out, once it’s safe, we’ll come back for you”, he said.

You nodded, agreeing to do as he said, knowing you really had no other option at this point.

Shortly after this conversation you readied yourself to leave, Tech giving you some medical supplies in case you would need to re-bandage your arm before they returned.

Echo ended up accompanying you in your search for shelter, telling the others he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew you’d found somewhere safe to stay. You had resisted the gesture, wanting him to get as far away from danger as possible, but he insisted.

You found a cave a few miles from the ship’s current location and decided it was as good a place as any to crash for, what you were hoping would only be, a few days.

“You sure you’re going to be okay here”, Echo asked, looking into the cold, dark cave.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve stayed in worse places. Besides, it’s the safest place we’ll find in the wilderness, and it’s dark, perfect for hiding”, you said in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, you didn’t know why, force of habit you guessed. Although, all this earned you was a sad smile from the trooper.

“We’ll be back soon, just stay out of sight until then, okay?”

You gave a small smile, bringing your hand up to your forehead for a two fingered salute. “Yes sir”, you said. This actually earned you a small laugh, which at this moment was music to your ears. You lowered your hand and looked into his eyes, taking on a more serious expression. “Just… be safe.”

“I should be telling you that”, he said.

“Yeah, well, I beat you to it”, you said, half grinning.

“I will if you will.”

You nodded. “Then I will.”

Suddenly your body was moving without you telling it to, and you found yourself wrapping him in a tight hug, closing your eyes to keep from crying, and soon the gesture was returned, leaving the both of you in a long embrace.

“Don’t forget me, okay”, you said, the threat of tears evident in your voice.

He squeezed you a little tighter. “Never.”

***

Turns out, you didn’t have to hide out in that cave long at all, as they had returned to retrieve you within two days’ time, with a new crew member, but without Crosshair. You two hadn’t been the best of friends by any means, and the man’s standoffishness really irked you sometimes, but you’d always known that deep down, he wasn’t such a bad guy. So, when the boys had told you what had happened between their return to Kamino and their escape from the planet, it put a surprising strain on your heart. You wanted to be angry with Crosshair for his actions, for attempting to kill Caleb and other innocents, but you just couldn’t, especially after you were informed of the inhibitor chips planted within every clone trooper. You couldn’t be mad at him, you couldn’t hate him, because it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t any of their faults, they were being used just like the jedi had been, if not more so, and this knowledge extinguished any hatred that had grown in you since the day that order was given.

Thinking back on all of this had you shedding silent tears as you watched the streaks of light pass before your eyes, attempting to let yourself to be swept away in the beauty that was hyperspace. This always seemed to calm your mind, but it didn’t seem to be working this time, so you simply stared and let the tears run down your cheeks.

“Hey, you okay”, Hunter asked from the seat beside you, having temporarily taken over piloting the ship in order to allow the others to rest.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by his words and quickly wiped the tears from your face before answering.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, still just trying to figure all of this out”, you replied somberly.

He nodded. “I understand, we still don’t have it all figured out either and with every answer comes new questions”, he said.

You hummed in agreement. “I guess my biggest question is, why now, why did Palpatine wait so long to put this grand plan in action? I mean, he could’ve done it years ago, but no, he waited… waited for us to get close to those who would eventually become our executioners, and worse, he took away their free will to do it. Those troopers, they weren’t the men they used to be, it’s like they were brainwashed.”

“Tech said they were programmed and when the chips were activated, it basically took over their minds, so I guess, in a way, they are brainwashed”, Hunter said, looking back out at the blue glow of hyperspace.

“Those poor men”, you said after a moment of silence.

Hunter turned his head to look at you, an astonished expression over his features, he then let out an amused huff.

“You are truly a wonder, you know that?”

“What”, you asked him, confused by the comment.

“Even after everything you’ve been through, and after what they did to you and your kin, you still feel pity for them”, he explained. “You’ve always been able to see people for who they really are, and forgive them for their faults, it’s commendable, and it’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

“You admire me”, you asked, raising an eyebrow and grinning in amusement.

He gave you a single nod. “Always have”, he said, giving you a soft smile.

The way he was looking at you made your cheeks begin to heat as a light blush covered them, and you turned away in an attempt to hide it, but he noticed, and his smile widened a bit as he looked back out the view port.

“I think you’re right by the way, about Palpatine waiting so long to execute his plan. I think he wanted you all to build those relationships, that trust, with your men, so that, when the time came, he could not only take you all out, but destroy your conviction as well”, he said, his voice lower than before.

“That’s a bit ominous, given our current situation”, you said, only half joking.

He turned to you suddenly, eyebrows raised in mild shock.

“(Y/N), you don’t think we’d… we’d never hurt you, I’d never hurt you, we’re on your side, I promise”, he said, hurt in his eyes. Did you really not trust him?

Seeing his reaction made your heart squeeze, you hadn’t meant to hurt him, you were just confused and scared. You felt as if your whole world had come crumbling down around you, and you were still trying to resurface from the rubble. But you knew you were wrong for thinking, even for a second, that you couldn’t trust Hunter and his men.

“I know, I’m sorry. I do trust you, all of you”, you said, trying to sound reassuring, but it only came out as sadness.

It looked as if the sergeant was contemplating something, his hands reflexively grabbing at nothing as they opened and closed on his lap. You knew he wanted to do something, wanted to comfort you, but he also didn’t want to invade your space, worried that would be crossing a line. So, you took the initiative.

You reached over and took one of his hands from his lap, holding it softly before giving it a reassuring squeeze and sending a smile his way. This prompted him to smile back, and you both just sat like that for a minute.

Suddenly, you heard a commotion from the bunks, and your name being called out by a desperate voice.

Recognizing the voice, you jumped up from your seat. “Echo”, you said, concern in your tone, before looking back to Hunter.

He simply nodded. “Go”, he said softly.

You gave a confirming nod and let go of the hand you’d still been holding, before quickly making your way to the bunks.

When you entered the room, it took you a second to assess the situation before you. Echo was laying in his bunk, breathing heavy, head shaking from side to side, and body trembling, as if he were in a state of terror. All this while Omega stood by the bunk, watching with concern. She looked back to you when you entered, then ran to you.

“I tried to wake him, but it’s not working, he keeps calling for you, you’ve got to do something”, she said in a rush, voice and eyes full or worry for her new friend.

You bent down to her level and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, I know what to do, you go wait with Hunter, okay? Everything will be fine”, you told her, attempting to quell her worry.

You then stood and made your way to Echo, sitting on the edge of the bunk and looking over him with your own worried expression. You really didn’t know what to do, you’d never been faced with something like this before. He was clearly having a terrible nightmare, and you wanted to help, so you just acted on instinct.

You placed a hand on his shoulder and shook lightly, softly calling his name, trying to wake him as gradually as you could, as you figured startling him awake would be counterproductive. However, this didn’t seem to work, and hearing your voice only caused him to say your name more. Seeing him like this broke your heart, and for a moment you felt totally helpless, but then you had an idea. You moved your hand from his shoulder, bringing it to cup the side of his face, your thumb instinctually beginning to rub soothing circles on his cheek, and you bent down to speak quietly in his ear.

“Echo, it’s (Y/N). You don’t have to be scared, I’m here, I won’t let them hurt you anymore”, you said, gently grabbing his flesh hand with your free one and holding it to your chest. “I’m here for you, I’ll always be right here with you, it’s okay. Wake up Love. Come back to me.”

As you spoke you could see him slowly calm, and with your final request, his eyes fluttered open, finding yours instantly.

“There you are”, you said softly, a smile spreading over your face. You were just relieved that the nightmare was over, and he seemed to be calming more with each passing second.

As he took in your presence before him, he let out a relieved sigh, but then looked to you with a strained expression.

“(Y/N), I… I was back, back with them, back to that day, I… I didn’t know how or why, and I just…”, he said in a desperate rush.

You shushed him, and let your hand continue to stay where it was in an attempt to sooth the frightened man lying next to you.

“I know, it’s okay, you’re okay now, you’re here with me, you’re safe, I promise”, you reassured him.

This seemed to work, and he let out another sigh as he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing once again, coming back to a steady pattern in no time. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed the position you both were in; you were sitting very close beside him, one hand resting on his cheek, while the other held his hand close to your heart, with his clutching yours in return, like you were his lifeline, which he had to admit, wasn’t far from the truth. You were the one he could trust without question, the one he could confide in, always had been.

You noticed this too and immediately went to pull away, slowly dropping his hand as you did, cheeks now burning. You didn’t get very far though, before he grabbed your wrist with his newly freed hand. “No”, he said, and pulled the hand back towards his head, coaxing you to return it to its previous spot. “Don’t stop… please.”

You stared at him for a moment with an unreadable expression, before finally giving him a tentative nod and continuing your earlier action of rubbing your thumb in circles on his cheek. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow, relaxing easily under your touch, this causing you to smile, glad you could be of comfort to him. You stayed like this for a while before your curiosity got the best of you and you voiced the question that had been on your mind since you first heard him call your name.

“Echo”, you said in a questioning tone. He hummed in response, not opening his eyes. “Why, why me?”

He looked at you then, confused. “What do you mean?”

“When you were having your nightmare, you, you called out for me, I was just wondering, why me”, you explained.

“I did”, he asked.

“Yeah, quite a few times actually. Was I in your dream or something?”

He looked away, a bit embarrassed.

“Not exactly”, he said.

You used the hand that was still on him to lightly pull his head to face you, speaking once his eyes were fixed on yours once again.

“Echo, you know you can tell me anything. What is it”, you asked.

“You weren’t in the dream, technically, and it wasn’t really a dream, more like I was reliving a memory, the memory of the citadel, and…”, he explained, his words dying off as he found it hard to voice them.

You placed a reassuring hand on his chest and gave him a nod in understanding.

“So, you were reliving that day, I’m sorry, I know that can’t be easy. But I still don’t see what that has to do with me, I wasn’t there, if I had been, I would’ve taken that blow for you”, you said, suddenly feeling tears behind your eyes, but you fought them back internally.

His eyes widened and he quickly grabbed your hand from its spot on his chest, squeezing it firmly.

“No, don’t say that”, he said urgently, suddenly sitting up, causing your hand to slip from his face, instead falling to rest at the intersection of his shoulder and neck.

“But…”, you tried to say, but he cut you off.

“No (Y/N), I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, least of all on you”, he said, staring directly into your eyes. You could only nod sadly as you tried to keep your emotions in check, which was getting harder as this interaction continued. He then softened his gaze and let out a long breath. “You were there, in a way.”

You gave him a confused look, about to ask what he meant, until he continued.

“After the explosion, I just laid there for a long time, feeling everything and nothing all at the same time, I was basically just waiting to die”, he told you. Your heart squeezed at his words, as the tears threatened to rise. “But then, I heard someone’s voice calling out to me, your voice. You were telling me not to give up, not to leave you, to keep fighting, and so I did. I bared the pain and rejected the urge to just slip away, even after they took me, I fought through all of it, because I knew that if I survived, then there was a chance I’d make it back to you, and… I really wanted that.”

That’s all it took, his words hit you straight in the chest and flowed through you, causing the flood gates to release and the tears to fall. Echo looked worried then and released your hand, bringing his to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad”, he said, internally wishing he hadn’t said anything.

You shook your head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, and I’m not sad that you told me, I’m glad you did”, you said, wiping the tears from the other side of your face. “Honestly, I’m just happy your alive, and that you did find your way back to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. When I heard what happened on Lola Sayu I couldn’t believe it at first, it didn’t feel real, but once I accepted it was… I had never felt true grief until that moment, and the sense of longing was almost unbearable. All I kept thinking was how I was angry with myself for wasting the time I had with you, lying. Lying to you, and to myself.”

“What are you talking about, lying about what”, he asked, sliding his hand down to hook a finger around your chin and turn your face back to face him after you’d turned it away during your confession.

You took a deep breath before speaking next. “I lied to you before, when I acted like that slip up was just a poor choice of words, I meant exactly what I said. See, the truth is, I was upset with myself because I never told you…”, you paused, finding this confession to be much harder than you had thought it would be to get out, “never told you that I…”

After another long pause, Echo decided to take the initiative, seeing as he knew exactly what you wanted to say, as it was the same thing he’d wanted to say to you all that time ago, still did. He used the hand that had a hold of your chin to pull you to him as he caught your lips in a kiss, one that while soft, was full of so much emotion it was almost palpable. You were surprised at first, but soon melted into the kiss, feeling completely content with staying there as long as possible.

Much too soon for your liking, Echo pulled away, but only to place his forehead against yours and let the long overdue words slip from his lips. “I love you too.”

Your smile reached your ears as his words filled you with untainted happiness, which prompted him to smile widely himself. Why had you both waited so long to do this, you didn’t know, but you were glad it was finally happening.

“Why did we spend all that time hiding, when we could’ve just done this”, you asked.

He chuckled. “Because we were both cowardly idiots”, he said.

You hummed in agreement. “I still can’t believe you did all that for me”, you said in a more serious tone.

He pulled back to look into your eyes. “Of course I did… I’d do anything for you (Y/N)”, he told you.

“Anything?”

He nodded in response and you smiled again.

“Kiss me again”, you said, it was more of a request than a demand.

He smiled and pulled you close so your face was mere inches from his.

“Yes Ma’am.”

***

It had been a good fifteen minutes since the cries had stopped and no noise could be heard from Echo’s bunk. Omega was no longer worried, knowing you had it handled, but her curiosity was starting to get the best of her.

“What do you think their talking about in there, it’s so quiet, maybe I should…”, she said as she got up from the co-pilot seat, moving in the direction of the bunks, but she was stopped by a hand grabbing her forearm, causing her to turn and stare at Hunter questioningly.

“Don’t, they’re fine, and it’s none of our business what their talking about, so just let them be, alright”, he said, giving her a warning look, one that wasn’t all that intimidating to the young girl, but she listened nonetheless and returned to her seat.

After a moment she spoke again, not being able to take the silence any longer.

“So, what’s the deal with those two, are they together, or is it some secret that everyone knows about except them”, she asked the sergeant.

Hunter laughed, this kid really was perceptive, not that anyone with eyes couldn’t see the attraction between you and Echo, it had always seemed so obvious to him, which is why he never spoke on his own feelings for you.

“Yeah, there seem to be… unspoken feelings between the two of them, but I’m sure they’ll get their acts together soon enough, especially now that they’ll be around each other more often”, he told her.

She thought on this for a moment before responding.

“I think so too… and what about you”, Omega asked him.

“What about me?”

“Are you going to get your act together as well”, she asked, raising her eyebrow and grinning at him.

“What are you talkin’ about kid”, Hunter asked, wondering if she’d somehow figured it out.

“Seriously, I’ve only just got here and I can see it”, she said.

“See what?”

“That Echo isn’t the only one who has feelings for the general.”

Hunter turned to the young clone, a look of surprise on his face. Very perceptive indeed.

“Why don’t you just tell her, at least one of you should pluck up the courage to do it”, she said.

He exhaled heavily as his features returned to a more neutral expression.

“It’s not that simple kid, there are just some things you’re not old enough to understand. Besides, it’s not reciprocated so there’s really no point, she’s made her choice, and I have to respect that”, he explained, hoping that would be that. However, he wasn’t going to be that lucky.

“Your wrong”, Omega said simply.

“What?”

“Your wrong, those feelings, they are reciprocated, yeah she likes Echo, but she likes you too.” She said it with such confidence that it made him wonder if the statement was true.

“Really, and how do you know that”, he asked, an almost sarcastic tone in his voice.

She shrugged. “Female intuition.”

He raised a suspicious brow at her but decided not to think too much on it.

“Hm, well, even if you are right, she’s still made her choice, and I won’t get in the way.”

“Won’t get in the way of what?”

Your voice made both of them jump a little. You had just made your way back to the cockpit and had clearly overheard the last bit of their conversation.

“Nothing”, Hunter said, watching you come to stand beside Omega, perching your arm on the headrest of the co-pilot chair and leaning on it.

“Really? Didn’t sound like nothing”, you said, raising your eyebrow in suspicion.

Omega suddenly perked up and turned in her chair to look up at you.

“Hey (Y/N), do you think it’s possibly for someone to love more than one person at a time”, she asked.

You were a bit taken aback by the question, but figured you’d answer, seeing as how you were being very honest today.

“Yes, I do, it actually happens a lot more often than you think”, you responded, purposefully avoiding Hunter’s gaze as you looked at the child.

“And what does that person do, you know, when they realize they have feelings for more than one person”, she then asked.

“Well, usually that person then has a decision to make, and they just hope they don’t break any hearts in the process. You see, love can be a tricky endeavor. However, I think if someone does fall for two individuals at once, then there are other options”, you said, rather matter-of-factly, given the topic at hand.

“Like what?”

“Those involved could always enter into a relationship all together, I suppose”, you said, wondering just how far she was going to take this conversation.

“And that would work”, she asked, seeming almost hopeful.

“It’s possible, yes, but only if all members involved are okay with it. They all need to know that’s what’s going on, and there can’t be any secrets”, you explained.

“Huh, I guess that makes sense”, Omega said, seeming content with your explanation. Then another thought seemed to hit her. “Hey (Y/N)?”

You hummed in response.

“Have you ever been in love”, she asked curiously.

“Omega”, Hunter said firmly, giving her another look of warning.

“No, no, it’s fine”, you informed him, not wanting him to reprimand the girl for just being curious. “To answer your question Omega, yes, yes I have.”

“With more than one person”, she continued.

You raised an eyebrow at her and crossed your arms over your chest.

“What’s with the twenty questions, am I being interrogated or something”, you asked, only half joking.

She shook her head. “No, just curious is all.”

“Uh huh, well why don’t you stow that curiosity away for later and go get some rest, it’s quiet now”, you told her.

“What did you do, I mean, how did you get him to stop”, she asked as she stood from her seat.

“I just let him know that he was safe, and that there was nothing to be afraid of”, you said, which wasn’t a complete lie.

“That’s it”, she asked.

You nodded. “That’s it.”

She gave you a look of suspicion but didn’t act on it.

“Okay”, she said, drawing out the word, and made her way to exit the cockpit.

“Sleep tight”, you called after her as she disappeared down the small corridor. You then turned back to the view port and took a seat in the now empty chair, sighing heavily before finally looking to Hunter. “Well, that was interesting, care to tell me what that was all about?”

“Not really”, he said, turning back to face forward.

You raised a brow. “Seriously?”

He shrugged and kept his gaze where it was.

You sighed again and leaned back in your chair. “Alright then, but I think it’s worth mentioning that the kid knows what she’s talking about, you might want to listen to her every now and then, she’s quite intuitive.”

He looked to you then, confusion on his brow.

“What do you mean”, he asked.

You laughed. “I mean, what she said about me is true”, you said.

His eyes widened a bit. “You, you heard that”, he asked, and you nodded in response. “How much of it?”

“Enough”, you said simply.

He looked away again as he spoke. “Then you know it doesn’t matter how I feel, you’ve made your choice, and I’m okay with that, I’ll have to be”, he said, trying to keep up this act of indifference.

You turned in your seat to face him. “You keep saying that, but, what if I don’t want to choose, because how you feel does matter, Hunter. At least, to me it does.”

He turned his head to meet your gaze. “What exactly are you proposing”, he asked.

“Nothing yet, just letting you know that, I know, and that the feelings are mutual.”

He smiled at this and nodded his understanding.

“What about Echo, have you told him yet”, he asked.

“We talked, and confessions were made… finally”, you said with a smile.

You both laughed then, happy to finally air things out a bit, all the pent-up emotions were wearing on all of you it seemed, and it felt nice to not have to hide it anymore.

“How do you think he’ll feel about your non-proposed proposal”, he asked with a grin.

“I don’t know, but we’re all adults, we can sit down and have a civilized conversation about this, and… we’ll figure this all out”, you told him.

He gave an amused huff. “You make it sound so formal.”

You nodded and gave a light chuckle. “At first, yeah, but I get the feeling that once this proposal is made, all persons involved will be… willing to give it a try”, you said, taking his hand and holding it in both of yours. “Then things will get more… informal.”

He smiled. “Yeah, how can you be so sure”, he asked, leaning toward you.

You smiled back and leaned in as well, your faces now only inches apart.

“Female intuition”, you whispered, your smile turning a bit smug.

He chuckled in amusement. “You’re ridiculous”, he said, before closing the gap between you.

The kiss was sweet and felt just as right as the ones you’d had with Echo, and just like those ones, this kiss ended all to quickly, but you were content to sit back and bask in the afterglow, you didn’t want to rush things after all.

You both sat there a moment, leaning back in your seats, staring out the view port, arms stretched as your hands sat, intertwined, between you. Maybe this really could work, only time would tell.

After what felt like hours, but in reality, had only been minutes, Hunter looked to you with a soft smile.

“I’m glad you’re here with us”, he said.

You smiled back and gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Me too”, you said, and you both stayed like that for a long while, enjoying a view you each thought was much better than the one outside the view port.

Little did you know, behind you Omega stood at the entrance of the cockpit, looking on silently and grinning from ear to ear, feeling quite pleased with herself.

[98prilla]

Deathworlder Down

Set in @delimeful 's wonderful WIBAR AU. Virgil gets sick, and the others struggle to help him, not only with his illness, but the clear underlying emotional issues.

Next

AO3

...

It was quiet, on the Mindscape.

 Logan was reading, absently twirling his fingers and hands as he studied, recording information, though he was certain most of it would prove false, as it was the little that was reported about humans. Most were comparable to ghost stories or urban legends, but there were a few that seemed more credible, that he hoped would give some more insight into humans in general.

 Roman was off working out somewhere, sparring, he insisted it was just to keep sharp, but they all knew it was because he didn’t trust the human on board not to go feral and kill them any second, despite Virgil’s rather shy and withdrawn personality. Still, at least he was getting his aggression out elsewhere, and not by actually fighting or snarking at the true object of his emotions. He was doing better, still, Logan would give him that, but there was a long way to go.

 He could hear Patton pitter pattering about in the kitchen, chirping and warbling to himself, making his lips twitch up into a smile. It had been far too quiet, without the little Ampen aboard, too much silence to drown in. It was a comfort he hadn’t realized he’d grown accustomed to, hearing Patton hum and chirp and sing all day. Now it was also a relief, a steady reminder their friend was back home, safe and sound, and he frowned again, thinking of how close they had come to losing him for good. That they would have, had it not been for Virgil.

 Speaking of…

 “Patton?” He asked, stepping into the kitchen, the Ampen stopping his trilling as he set the kettle on the stove, giving him one of his warm, happy smiles, that seemed to actually light up the room.

 “Yeah, Lo? Everything ok?” Patton’s antennae twitched slightly, and he focused back on the present.

 “Yes, I believe so, I was simply wondering if you’d seen Virgil today. He is usually awake by now. I was hoping to discuss some… perhaps sensitive topics, that I picked up on during our vidi.”

 It was true. He hadn’t seen much, with how fast it had all turned, and spiraled out of hand, and though Virgil and him had been having question and answer sessions, the ones he really wanted to ask seemed more… personal. So, he’d kept them to himself, and simply continued his observations, and studied up on the information available to him.

 And what he’d noticed was… concerning, to say the least. He was certain the human wasn’t sleeping enough. Unlike most species, humans could run on limited sleep for an extended period of time, but he was slowly becoming aware that just because humans had the capability to do something, didn’t mean it was natural or good for them to do it. They could survive grievous injuries that would have killed any other species, but it came at great physical and mental cost. They could survive intense radiation, but they would sicken slowly and die. They could imbibe substances that a single sip would be deadly to himself, but even in small amounts, it inhibited a human’s survival instincts and weakened them.

 So just because Virgil was running on, at his best guess, four to five hours of sleep a day, didn’t mean that was anywhere near the healthy range of a human’s normal requirements. He’d noticed some of the side effects so commonly, he’d thought they simply were how humans were, until the Vidi gave him glimpses at others, who lacked the bags under their eyes, the deep bruising, that Virgil always had. Virgil was often unsteady on his feet, “light headed” he called it, he often stared out into space for minutes at a time, without registering anything that was said or happening around him, he ran into things, doorframes, corners of furniture, he stumbled and often had to lean against something to regain his balance.

 The other issue was his diet. Logan was absolutely certain that Virgil was not eating nor drinking enough. With his permission, he’d taken his heart rate, he’d calculated how many calories his body must burn, at the least, throughout a day. With no physical activity, no exertion, the very base level of sleep, Virgil was missing at least hundreds, if not nearly a thousand, necessary calories, and that was if he were in a relaxed state, which he never was. The human was endlessly jumpy and frightened and twitchy, and he had admitted that his heart rate was much higher than it should be, most of the time, due to his constant state of high alert. But despite this, he ate nearly the least at meals, always pushing food around his place, making excuses to take small portions, at least half the time Logan was certain he hadn’t eaten at all until he was forced to at their daily dinner together, and only then because he didn’t want to upset Patton. Based on his limited understanding, Virgil was immensely underweight and incredibly sleep deprived, both dangerously unhealthy states for humans.

 “oh! I peeked in on him a bit ago. He'd just woke up, said he was going to take a shower. I’m kinda surprised he isn’t out here yet.” Patton frowned, his feathers fluffing in distress.

 “I see. I'll go check on him, Patton. Save me a cup?” He smiles as Patton’s face lights up again, only half surprised as Patton jumps at him, hugging him. He carefully supports the Ampen, holding him close, allowing his head to rest against Patton's small, fluffy shoulder.

 “Thanks, Lo. For looking out for him.” Patton mumbled, as Logan let him go, setting him back down on the counter.

 “Of course, Patton. It’s the least I can do. He deserves to not only be safe, but feel safe. I am happy to help make that happen.” Patton's feathers pulsed his trademark light blue, a sign of happiness, that made Logan’s hands flutter, trying to record the warmth in his chest, as he turns away.

…

He woke up with a groan, pushing the cupboard door open, jumping as his door opened, hitting his head against the back of the cupboard at the sudden movement, breath speeding wildly, before he registered Patton’s head poking in, concerned eyes on him.

 “Hey, kiddo. Just checking in. Everything ok?” He sighed, but pushed back his exhaustion, summoning a small smile, making it as reassuring and genuine as possible, not difficult, faced with a small ball of fluff.

 “I’m alright, Pat. Just catching up on some zee’s. Was gonna go shower.” Patton nodded, hopping into his arms for a quick snuggle, before chirping a happy goodbye and vanishing out the door.

 He slumped back against the pylon behind him with another groan, rubbing his hands across his face, then up into his hair, wincing as he felt his hair stick straight up, matted with sweat. He’d stayed in bed far later than usual, but he hadn’t slept more. The night had been plagued with nightmares and sleep paralysis, filling him with terror so deep he couldn’t even scream, could merely panic until he passed out once more, tossing and turning restlessly.

 He felt shivery, cold, and his head spun just a bit as he stood, his stomach turning at the motion, vertigo rocking him as he leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to get his bearings.

 “fine. I’m fine.” He muttered, taking a few deep breaths in and out, before making his way to the door, listening for a few moments to make sure he couldn’t hear Roman anywhere nearby, he didn’t think he could handle the Crav’n in his current state.

 Which was normal and healthy and perfectly fine. He had to be fine.

 He made it to the bathroom with minimal stumbling, his vision barely swimming in and out, as he stripped, and turned on the water, hot enough it would probably burn any other members of their little band, but he just sighed in relief as he stepped in, letting the water run over him, soothe the aches building in his muscles. He let out a sigh, halfheartedly scrubbing at his hair, zoning out as he watched the steam.

 As he watched, it seemed to form a shape, to swirl into a nebulous form, and his breathing stuttered, heart stopping, as he stared in fear at the suited figure, one of his captors, a needle stabbing down towards him, and he flinched back, the world blurring and swirling and fading out around him, static roaring through his ears, his heart racing as static filled his vision as well. Distantly, he heard knocks, someone maybe calling his name, then he felt his legs give out, his head hit something hard, and the world went black.

…

“Virgil? Are you alright?” He heard a loud thump, a crash, and his eyes widened, knocking again. “Virgil? If you do not answer me, I am going to enter. Virgil!” Nothing. He threw open the door, breath catching, freezing in place at the sight.

 Virgil was sprawled across the bathroom floor, unconscious. His breathing seemed somewhat labored and shallow, and he could hear the slight wheeze to it from the doorway. What caught his eye first were the endless collection of scars, all across his body, covering nearly every inch of his skin, and it turned his stomach, it made him sick, the level of trauma and abuse Virgil must have endured. He’d known it wasn’t good, known he’d been a lab rat, an experiment, a being to harvest then sell off the parts once he was drained dry, but knowing it and seeing the scars, the marks of old burns from the stun batons, was something else entirely. And nothing Virgil had said had indicated the violence against him to be to this extent. He felt another surge of appreciation, for Virgil having protected Patton.

 The second thing, that finally forced him into motion, was the small pool of red forming around the human’s head, likely where the back of his skull had impacted with the floor. Quickly, he grabbed a towel from off the rack, and rolled Virgil onto his side, wiping away the blood from his neck and hair, to see where to apply the pressure. He breathed a sigh of relief as he located the wound, surprisingly small, given the amount of blood loss, and he was confident a few moments of pressure would easily stop it.

 “ROMAN!” He shouted with all his might, voice shaking and unsteady, hearing the crashing footsteps of the Crav’n immediately, the being sliding into the doorway mere moments later, scales raised to their extremes, teeth bared, ready to fight, no doubt hoping for an excuse to fight the human.

 “Logan? What’s-“ Patton darts in around Roman’s legs, eyes widening as he instantly is at Virgil’s side, trembling, eyes wide as saucers.

 “I need help. Roman, he’s heavy, I need-“

 “Ok. Ok, teach, I got you. Let’s get him dressed, then I’ll move him to the couch. What’s… what happened?”

 “I’m not entirely sure. I knocked and heard a crash, when I entered, he was like this. I suspect it has something to do with his malnutrition and sleep deprivation.” He answered, focusing on carefully pulling Virgil’s hoodie over his head, hands clenching sharply as one brushes his forehead. “he’s burning up.”

 “That’s what happens when he’s… when he’s sick. Humans get all hot and shivery and sometimes their stomach hurts and they can’t eat. But that only happened on the… on the ship. When… when it was really bad.” His voice wavered, feathers flattening.

 “I would suspect that he has been feeling ill for a couple of days now, if it’s grown severe enough to make him pass out. His normal temperature is around 98.6 to 99, I would estimate his to be closer to one hundred and three. Has he seemed off to you, Patton?”

 “He’s spent less time with me. Less time out of his room. I thought he just needed some space, but… but he was trying to hide he was sick, wasn’t he?”

 “Why would he do that? Did he think we’d just abandon him like some deathworlder would an injured comrade?” Roman snorted disdainfully, helping pull pants onto the human, though Patton could see the concern hiding behind his outrage.

 “Contrarily, he probably didn’t want to be a burden. To use up more of our resources and time. He constantly sees himself as lesser, as the least important of the group, therefore the one who should take up the least space, least time, least amount of food. Surely, you’ve noticed, Roman.”

 “I…hadn’t. I’ll take him now, Pat.” He mumbled softly, gently shooing him back as he scooped Virgil into his arms, surprised at how light the human was, his head lolling limply against his chest, his cheeks flushed, while the rest of his face was even paler than usual. He could feel the frantically rapid beat of his heart, his eyes flicking uneasily under their lids, and his scales flattened in concern. As much as he didn’t trust the human, he didn’t want to see him hurting, either. And if what Logan said was true, Virgil had not only been hurting, but hurting himself, out of, what? Loyalty? Worry? He just couldn’t get a handle on him.

 Then again, he hadn’t tried very hard to get to know him, or to give him a chance. But there was something in seeing him so vulnerable, without the usual piercing stare and silent slink, that made him soften a bit, made him remember that despite being one of the most fearsome creatures in the universe, that Virgil was essentially a child, by human standards. He was so thin, too. He could count his bones, under that hoodie. No wonder he was always cold, he had no layer of fat on his bones.

 And those scars…

 Well. It was enough to almost make him rethink his view on Virgil, at least, as he laid him down on the couch in the common area, Patton immediately taking a seat by his head, brushing his hands soothingly through Virgil’s hair, as the human shook, muttering something in his sleep that was undecipherable, though the tone of fear was impossible to miss, as his hand clenched against the fabric.

 “We need to break his fever. Blankets, Roman? I’ll get you a washcloth and water for his forehead, Patton. If he wakes, he is likely to be disoriented or possibly even hallucinate, because of the fever. However, I have no doubt he will calm immensely upon registering your presence. You are… his lifeline, Patton.” Patton nodded, continuing to focus on Virgil, doing the coo chirp pattern used to soothe babies, one of the first things Virgil had mimicked back to him, back on that awful ship.

 “He’ll… he’ll be ok, right? He just needs some sleep and he’ll be okay?” His voice trembled, and Logan’s hands clasped behind his back, eyes darting as he looked for the right words to say.

 “I don’t know. There’s so little information, Patton, I keep looking and there’s just… not enough, to help him, in any meaningful way. There’s no way of knowing if this is just a ‘flu’ or if it is something more severe. I know his heart rate is high and his breathing rasping, but I don’t know if that’s the result of the illness or simply stress, I would give him medicine, but I don’t know what he can have, what would be helpful, and I don’t know what to do if it’s something we aren’t equipped to handle!” He exploded, pacing the floor somewhat frantically, hands flailing wildly, wincing as one smacked the wall. “I don’t know what to do, but wait.” He said, softer, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his hand, looking up as Roman came to stand before him, gently patting one of his arms.

 “It’s ok, Lo. No one expects you to have all the answers. We know you’ll do your best. You always do.” Logan nodded, pulling himself together somewhat, striding off to the kitchen, Roman heading down the hall to raid the extra blankets from the closets.

 “you’ll be ok, kiddo. I promise.” Patton murmured, nuzzling against Virgil’s cheek, giggling as Virgil mumbles again, leaning into his touch, hand unclenching, face relaxing minutely. When Logan came back, he huffed fondly, Patton curled up against Virgil’s shoulder, just a ball of puffed up blue feathers, pulsing soothingly.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back again. I had a sort of writers block for the last like 2 days which made it really hard to do some questions, but I got em done finally. Sorry about the wait. This one is split between the numbered questions, and next ask is the other questions you asked!

I think I accidentally skipped a question in the last one. I honestly don't completely remember but in case I did skip it by mistake, the groups first travel out of the city's limits and even further beyond in a carriage. When they reach the end of how far the driver is willing to go they then get out and start walking. With Jackie screaming about how their finally going on a adventure. 

1: It thankfully doesn't get to to bad before the others notice. And he immediately told them about Dream, wanting to be very clear with what happened and what they where getting themselves into. But they accepted him anyway and helped him. 

2: Isaac is the leader cause Cletus is too much of a wildcard and too impulsive to lead safely, Charles is too shy to lead, and while Benjamin is perfect for leading he doesnt really like leading and is more of a follower than a leader. But Isaac can joke around and gets along with everyone but also be able to take things seriously and know when something needs to be handled.

5: They do not, they last for a few minutes and unless its a healing or regeneration potion (in which it can take a few days for it to fully go away) they have no long lasting affects. They do know of eachothers past to an extent, they know enough to avoid triggers and enough to know what not to do when around eachother. They know through telling eachother, and they feel awful Grievous and Jackie had to deal with that, but leave it in the past and focus on making their current life better. 

6: Yes and no, while Jackie did mean to throw it at Ran, he ment for it to just hit nearby him, not directly hit him. It was ment to be more of a scare/intimidation tactic than anything else honestly. Grievous's luck is for basically everything, he has won the lottery twice before actually but only those 2 times, he's correctly guessed how many items are in a container more than a few times as well. 

7: I use the height charts and they help mostly for comparison, problem is I have trouble applying it to real world stuff and because of that I still have trouble knowing if something or someone is to tall or short. Jackie can get very mean, like he can make fun of someone who just lost a loved one or experienced a traumatic event at the worst. But he usually doesn't get nearly that mean, most he does normally is making fun of how someone looks or how they do certain things. The others comfort him the best they can when he gets sad, and when he gets mean they either encourage it (Grievous), or discourage it and stop him (Watson. Ran is between either encouraging or discouraging it).

8: He was! He spent most of his life adventuring actually! He misses it somedays now since he lives in Subbin, but he believes giving up his adventuring life for a family and friends who needed him is a more than far trade and would happily pick his family over adventuring again. For around 4 years after Ran left Mizu (including the day he left), Ran traveled everywhere, and learned how to survive himself and taught himself different things, like sewing. Ran has made new socks, fixed clothes, and made blankets for everyone at least once. Watson also designs bows and arrows for show, for top functionality, and for just simple (training) gifts to the others. Ran (and Watson) has visited the nether, though Ran tended to stay in it longer than Watson cause he could withstand the temperatures better. And while digging a new tunnel across the nether he ran into ancient debris, which he then messed with until he figured out to mix it with gold and coat his sword in it. He tried to find more ancient debris but sadly hasn't found any, leaving his sword permanently damaged and at risk of breaking. Jackie isn't good at all at painting, its more of a hobby he's trying out. They try to camp out there at least once a week, where Grievous will sometimes build a pillowfort and either force everyone inside or play a game of capture the fort with them. Sometimes Ran will also read during the pillowfort nights, but not to often. Jackie wants to vist a Snow, Savanna, Jungle,  Tagia, and if possible, a Ice Spike biome. He also wants to vist the nether but he'll have to fight Ran on that. Ran and Jackie's secondary titles are in Javanese!

9: Ran just kinda went "Hey Jackie, stand still for a second." "Ok?" And then he just picked him up and threw up. 

10: When he's first given dinner after already eaten lunch, he just kinda stares at the food. Then asks if they meant to give him food, and when the others say yes, he asks why because he thought people only ate once every few days. His answer shocked the others and they ask him to explain, and he explains futher that he was only allowed to eat and drink once every 3 days. Their horrified by this answer but explain to him how theres 3 meals a day and he can drink whenever, he doesn't believe them at first but eventually accepts it. 

11: When the fishermen first come to Ranbob about their worry, he expresses the same worry as them. But says that it's unlikely Ran will hurt the fishermen specifically, because Rans haunting are already friends with them, and Ran wouldnt risk breaking the friendship unless he deemed it necessary for their safety. 

12: Ranbob is sad that Ran goes to such lengths to avoid him and keep people away from him, but he has resigned himself to it. As he knew that if Ran was alive it was greatly unlikely that he would trust him and knew he would be avoided. Which is actually particularly why he believes Ran will never trust him again and why he views Ran as a kind of lost family member. One he'll never get back no matter what he does.

13: Their first stop is a nearby flower biome, and after that Watson has planned to lead them to a waterfall he found with a shattered Savanna somewhat close to it. They plan to travel for a minimum of 6 months, they can actually travel for as long as they want to, but Prokius made them agree that they must be back before the next General Pit Battles (which happens once every 5 years). 

14: He would 100% run himself into the ground until he's barely alive while searching for them. Benjamin compares Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream, to an abused person wanting to go back to their abusive lover. They believe they've changed and that they truly do love them and want the best for them, but in reality that's not it at all and others have to help them see thats not true and help them save themselves. So it doesn't surprise Benjamin or Isaac that much (it surprises Charles and Cletus though), and after its explained to them, their all more than willing to help Ranbob get over Dream and help him be himself again.

15: Oh definitely. Once they hear the Green-Eyed Enderman is back from hiding they all set out again, and after the group gets attacked and once word spreads that its in a group and there's another enderman with them, they all get targeted. With the Gladiators and Fishermen being targeted as bait or hostages to try to trick the enderman into following a trap. Ran wasnt affected like his brother was. Im talking about trauma and maybe even a bit of PTSD that came from Mizu, caused by Dream. Though both of the brothers have gained different amounts of trauma and PTSD from Dream. I may give the raven to either Watson or Ran, I think its fits both of them really well. I want to have them come across ruins of other Tales but im not sure which ones. Maybe they could find the remains of the Wild West Tale and the Haunted Mansion?

Glad to see you, Brothers Anon, and excited to read!

1: The perfect start to an Adventure. And a funny mental image. Imagining these two groups cramped into carriages is pretty amusing. How ready was everyone to get out by the time they could?

2: The fishermen are really great, and Ranbob is very lucky. I love them.

3: Isaac sounds like he’s a pretty good fit for it then. But nobody’s perfect! What are some flaws of his, leadership-wise?

5: Interesting. What makes Regeneration and Healing last longer? I suppose it’s not relative to the AU, but I am a bit curious. What’s the world’s potions mechanisms, if you don’t mind me asking? And that’s good! They may not know everything, but they know what to avoid, and that’s important. Everyone’s moved forward and are making the best of life, and honestly, that’s pretty cool of them.

6: Welp, Jackie, it seems intimidation tactic failed. However, you have managed to anger Ran, so..there’s that. He won the lottery? Dang. Well, if they ever need money, they can just send him to the nearest casino, I suppose.

7: Aight, so I may have a solution for you there. Whatever height you’re going for, find something in real life that’s just about the same height. Like a tree, or something. Or not, we can always just leave it at short enough to be tossed and tall enough to be the tosser. Jackie sounds like he knows where to hit to make it hurt, honestly. It’s good that they comfort him, though I am curious why they all react as they do to him being mean. Why does Grievous encourage it? And is it more of a depends on the day thing for Ran, or a depends on what was said to Jackie, and what Jackie’s saying thing?

8: Nice! What kind of places did he go? Does he have any particularly interesting knickknacks from that time period? And Ran personally sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Watson’s weapons sound really cool, where did he learn to make them? Is visiting the Nether not a common occurrence these days? Or is it simply that the others never got around to it before? Well, hobbies are always fun to try. Does Jackie keep at it and get better or get bored and try something else? How does Capture the Fort go with these guys, considering they’re gladiators? Why does Jackie want to visit those particular biomes? Is there a reason, or do they just sound cool to him? And why would Ran not want them going to the Nether? Because of the danger?

9: FDXGHJ- He just- tossed him?? No warning?? Oh my gods, I’m dying. How did Jackie react to that? Heck, how did Porkius react to that? I doubt anyone was expecting that display.

10: Oh, no. Now I really want to punch Dream in the face. What the heck, Dream?! He legit asks if they meant to give him food...If one of the fishermen or gladiators doesn’t eventually find a way to punch Dream, I will be forced to travel realities and do it myself. 

11: Kind of sad that Ranbob was equally concerned about it. But hey! He won’t have to be, one day!

12: Poor Ranbob. I hope he’s proven wrong, eventually. Do the fishermen know that he thinks this? If so, how do they feel about it? Or does he kind of just keep those thoughts to himself?

13: Flower biomes are really pretty. What did everyone think about it? Did they bring any flowers with them? So this roadtrip could possibly go on for a few years. Did they leave just after a General Pit Battle, or do they have like, less than five years? Speaking of General, is Jackie still the General in this AU? Does he have extra duties because of it? Or is that not something that happened in this AU?

14: Yikes. Reactions to this? Why does Ranbob believe Dream’s changed, as you put it? Is Dream still able to talk to him, or is it because he just misses being there? So Benjamin and Isaac aren’t all that surprised about it. Do they take the reins in helping out? And how do they all do so? It’s good that they’re helping him though.

15: Well, this sounds like it can’t end well. They try to use the hauntings as bait? Is anyone actually captured? Rescue missions? And alright, that makes a bit more sense. I can see how they’d both be effected differently, and honestly, they’d probably both have very different perspectives of the event, all things considered. Ravens for the win! And it’d be really cool for them to come across the ruins of old Tales buildings. Can you imagine the kind of things they’d find? Diaries, faded photographs, moth-eaten clothes, blood stained floors...Like a walk in the past, but they’ll never know what came to be for the people of that time.

[onwesterlywinds]

Operations

Content warning for medical trauma.

Why hadn't the blast done away with her, she'd often wondered. In the weeks following the raid on the Frumentarium offices and her subsequent emergency surgery, Alma had inquired as much as she had been able to bear into the nature of auracite, the object that the false informants had used to wreak their havoc. Obtaining such information was well within the limits of her duties, of course; she was expected to show curiosity for things with the potential to cause harm to the Empire, and little of that day's events had been classified beyond her level of clearance. But she bore little real enthusiasm for the topic, particularly after encountering the frame-by-frame security footage of her own dismemberment. She sought additional information on the subject only in an effort to understand why the auracite had not simply done away with her and Domitian both.

It would certainly have been easier for her that way - much easier than recovery. The frumentarii with whom she interacted on a regular basis bore little sympathy for her newfound disability; the lowborn Garleans among them even delighted in it. As Alma struggled once more to perfect her typing with one less hand, those of lesser rank - those with neither the name nor the talent to receive a superior's interest - continued to offload their own work onto her desk without cease.

The indignity of it all far surpassed any relief that might have come from keeping herself preoccupied.

It was out of a determination to show every one of them wrong that she found herself typing ever more skillfully, one-handed or no; when she allowed her spite to take hold, she outstripped them all, just as she would have before the event. Despite the ten years it had taken her to build up the intelligence officers' begrudging respect, she doubled it in a fortnight.

To add to her misery, she saw far less of Domitian in that span than had been their custom. They had spoken only rarely since the day she had woken up to find him at her side in the hospital, as they each had their own duties to attend to and she was barred from the training hall on account of her still-healing sutures.

Yet some six weeks after the incident with the Nagxians, Domitian arrived before her desk to pass her a letter for proofreading.

TO: The Desk of Legatus Gaius van Baelsar RE: Malla aan Twixt

Following a recent security breach during an interrogation, my secretary, Malla aan Twixt, suffered a grievous injury that resulted in the amputation of her left arm. Historically, a debilitation limiting one's duties would render a soldier eligible to receive an honorable discharge and a retirement stipend from the Frumentarium. Malla's status as a peregrinus, however, currently bars her from receiving such benefits.

Therefore, I write to petition for Malla aan Twixt to be considered for citizenship of the Garlean Empire and honored for her contributions to the Frumentarium with the rank of notarius.

Malla has been a stalwart and faithful ally of the Frumentarium and the Empire as a whole for many years, to the extent that the work of my bureau would be sorely diminished without her capabilities. Nor I do question that were it not for her sacrifice, I would certainly be dead. For this, at the very least, she is owed the dignities to which any Garlean-born soldier would be not only entitled but expected to receive.

Sincerely, Domitian goe Velius

"I would recommend a softer conclusion," said Alma as she handed the letter back.

Domitian furrowed his brow in confusion but spoke little more on the matter. His only course of action for prolonging the conversation would have been to summon her into the interrogation room, and neither he nor she had set foot in there since that day. But she did not want to tell him that she was too focused on merely filling the hours to dream of freedom - that she expected no charity at all from the ruling body of the XIIth Legion.

And then Domitian's letter was received without incident the following day, thus permitting the paperwork for her retirement to be submitted through to the required offices for approval.

What followed next, according to Domitian, were mere formalities. The office's memoranda published a date for her retirement, and other intelligence officers confirmed as much once word spread that she would be leaving. As her departure date approached, she heard more and more wishes for her success outside the Frumentarium, regrets for the loss of her good work, and only one quip about her failure to prevent the incident she should have died in. Some began to ask her where she meant to go; she replied that she would not mind someday seeing the Garlean capital, but that she wished to put her own affairs in order before she left the Ala Mhigan territory. A perfect answer for its lack of commitment.

Until she wondered, as she raised a private glass of arak with Domitian in his study on the evening of her triumph, if this would be the last she would ever see of him.

That night, in what could only have been the early hours, the door to her chambers burst open. Four Garlean soldiers, all of them clad in solid black leathers, seized her where she lay in her bed.

"UNHAND ME AT ONCE!" she screamed in Ilsabardian - the first phrase Domitian had ever taught her, and one she practiced regularly for the threat of occasions such as this.

Her attackers were utterly silent in response, and that somehow frightened her far more than if they were laughing and jeering. What could they want from her, if not her misery?

She tried to call out for Domitian but they covered her mouth with a heavy rag. One of the Garleans injected her with a serum that caused her to black out, only for her to awaken again upon an operating table in a white room. Already she was writhing - not in pain, but in desperation - against the fiber-based straps with which they restrained her, her mangled stump of an arm reaching futilely toward a figure being dragged from the surgery.

Domitian, clad only in his fatigues, his hair askew from sleep, fought back against no fewer than three armed guards. He leveraged every last bit of his strength in his efforts to reach her and screamed her false name as fervently as she screamed his real one. Then he was removed from across the threshold, enough for the surgery door to slam closed.

He watched in vain from behind a panel of high-density glass as the medical technicians fitted her body with a new prototype prosthetic arm.

They reopened her sutures, made incisions into the still-healing tissue, and implanted two metal rods at the point where her elbow once had been. The rods resembled no bones she had ever seen, but far worse was the thing her captors affixed afterward: a dark and metallic thing that glared against the harsh fluorescence overhead and writhed against the operating table in response to her unthinking pain. It contorted like a spider with each scalpel stab and experimental shock, and she could not come to terms with it as a hand - her hand - even as the Garleans spoke over her head of the evident merits of this prototype over its predecessors.

They had to know she was conscious for the extent of the operation - that she felt every last dosage of fear and agony they could inflict.

And then it was over. A nurse came to bring her a new set of clothes an unknown amount of time later, but she was discharged without any follow-up from the medicus or the surgeons or even the magiteknician who oversaw the device's implantation. Only one among them spoke to Domitian, never to her, and only enough to say that her condition was "stable," that she would be monitored periodically for any "abnormalities," and that she should be able to participate in all of her usual activities once she grew accustomed to the prosthesis's newness.

The thing hung tense from her left side as Domitian walked her back through the halls of the Frumentarium headquarters. She tried not to think about it, since it responded first and foremost to her thoughts, but she could not, and the arm responded to that in kind. The result of this was a tiresome ache throughout her shoulder and back. Though the weight of their shared silence hung heavy all about them with every step they took, neither of them spoke until they had returned to their offices.

Alma stared back at the unobtrusive door behind her desk - the one that led to her tiny cell of a room - and Domitian murmured something that might have been "Absolutely not." He ushered her toward his private study, familiar from their candid conversations; then to the fully-furnished bedroom that lay behind it. The bed alone was larger than the adjacent closet she'd slept in for over ten years. Domitian eased her down into the sheets but did not make to join her.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "For everything."

She drifted off to sleep soon afterward, before she could put into words the pain and hatred and longing she suppressed every day when she was with him; somewhere, if only in the reaches of her dreams, she whispered back, "It isn't you whom I blame."

But she did not cry. She cried out in her sleep and awoke in the dark to find Domitian sitting at the foot of his own bed to keep watch for any would-be intruders. Even with sleep-heavy eyes, she could see the gleam of his crossbow fixed steadily upon the door - the only entrance for any would-be intruder.

Nor did she cry when Domitian's letter was returned to the office the following morning with an angry red stamp across the header to indicate that her application for retirement had been denied and no reason listed for the refusal except "RANK: AAN."

The tears did not come until the following week, when the pain had mostly subsided from her movements and she supposed she might as well drag herself to the training hall. The Garleans had said, after all, that her prosthesis was designed with easy proficiency in mind.

She had her choice of training spears - it was well into the early morning, and the rest of the offices were either sleeping or drinking or pretending to do either - and the rest of the training hall sat empty. Painfully she remembered the castle grounds in moments before dawn, before the sun came to light up the ramparts, when she and her late brother-in-law would rise early so that they could have the floor and its resources entirely to themselves.

Her good hand closed around the heaviest spear on the weapons rack and she stepped, ever conscious of the movements of her feet, toward a mirrored wall. She glanced up at her reflection before her and tried to avoid staring at the black metal prototype that had taken over her left arm. Yet in her efforts to toss the spear from her good hand over to her prosthesis, she misjudged some amount of force in her own grasp: the spear went soaring off above her head with the arc of an Ishgardian dragoon and stuck itself firmly into a floor mat. She heaved a sigh, cursed under her breath, and went to retrieve it.

That process repeated itself over and over without any regard for her efforts. She could not summon the coordination for even a single-handed catch, not even as the sky overhead began to lighten with the threat of another occupied day. Her every effort to bend the Garlean Empire's most accessible technology to her will was an utter, resounding failure.

The spear slipped from her grasp one final time and, as if to mock her, clattered across her boots.

"YOU-" She seized it in her only hand and held it up to her reflection in the mirror.

"-STUPID-" She was thin and small and sallow, her face streaked with tears and snot, but her good arm moved to strike and she dared not stop it.

"-GIRL!" Over and over again she sent the training spear into the mirrored wall, until it threatened to shatter amid her blows. "YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS BITCH!"

The blast had not taken her life. Far worse, the Garleans' mandate to make her whole had excised so much of what little yet remained of Alma Malheur.

[unillustratedadventures]

On the Crushing of Souls (Kim Saeed)

This is a transcript of the following video: http://unillustratedadventures.tumblr.com/post/166525776214/narcissistic-abuse-feels-different-words-in-the

(Words by Kim Saeed.)

“Why does narcissistic abuse often affect us so differently than other traumatic events? All traumatic events are deeply impactful, and life-altering. Narcissistic abuse feels different. It has its damaging effects on a different psychological level.”

“Narcissistic abuse is inflicted by someone you love, and it targets you for who you are. A mugging is based on any person who walks by, who has a purse or wallet. Car crashes happen because someone wasn’t paying attention. And earthquakes are just random natural events. They have nothing to do with the sort of person you are. Narcissistic abuse, on the other hand, is like a laser beam on just this dimension of your psyche—you, as a person, are not loveable, have no redeeming qualities, and are a waste of space and time. The narcissistic abuser repeatedly exploits your fear of abandonment in order to make you more dependent on them and more likely to stay attached to them, despite—or rather, paradoxically, because of—the misery you find yourself in.”

“Narcissistic abuse is soul-crushing. That is why the trauma feels so different, and also why it is so difficult to overcome. We are left feeling so utterly helpless and hopeless. That is how narcissistic abuse works, why it is so debilitating, and why it feels different than other kinds of emotional trauma.”

“They may have been wounded as children. But those children are long gone, leaving only an adult with an underdeveloped level of emotional maturity, non-existent emotional intelligence, and deficient attachment capabilities. What’s left in that child’s place is a scheming manipulator, who doesn’t give a care about anyone except themselves.”

“Like many people who’ve endured narcissistic and emotional abuse, you probably didn’t realise what was happening to you, until you reached a point of near insanity, and began searching desperately for reasons why your fairytale romance took a grievous turn for the worse.”

“The salvation of the relationship always lies on the distant horizon, and is entirely dependent on your changing something about yourself—which is impossible to do, in spite of frantic efforts on your part, because your self-absorbed mate constantly changes the goal posts. These shady behaviours are indicators of having a destructive personality disorder.”

“You are being abandoned in every way possible. Abandonment has its own kind of grief—a powerful grief, universal to human beings. The grief can be acute, as when we go through the ending of a relationship, or chronic, as when we feel the impact of earlier losses and disconnection. Unresolved abandonment is a primary source of self-sabotage.”

“If you feel your partner simply puts up with you—only coming around to keep you strung along—it is because you serve a purpose. If communicating with your partner leaves you feeling unheard, unstable, and frustrated, it’s because they don’t care about you, much less what you have to say. A person who loves you would want to spend time with you, know all about you, and ensure that you feel safe and cared for.”

“Narcissists mock and ridicule for many reasons, including making themselves appear superior. One of the trademarks of narcissistic individuals is the way they hijack their victim’s world—the ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling, and persistent anxiety that you experience. This comes from the fear of not knowing what will upset your volatile partner. Your best thought-out plans may crumble around your feet, leaving you with a gnawing feeling of despair and hopelessness.”

“You focus all your energies on how to make your partner love you, and treat you once again like the soulmate they said you were. There is no loophole, in this regard, that disqualifies your partner from being abusive, no matter what they would have you believe.”

“Name-calling is a form of abuse. It is used to belittle you and make you question your worth. It is employed during rage attacks and blame-storms, and, alternately, under the guise of joking. Name-calling is never appropriate.”

“You are exhausted by the repeated cycles of hurt and rescue. This tactic preys on your emotions. The narcissist causes you a great deal of stress and anxiety, and then abruptly relieves that stress. The most common tactic used by the narcissist in this category is the silent treatment, which evokes your fear of abandonment. When the narcissist finally returns, you experience a rush of euphoric relief.”

“Repeated cycles of hurt and rescue are emotionally exhausting. This is the same method used in police interrogations to get a person to confess—sometimes even when they are innocent. When the narcissist returns after numerous stints of the silent treatment, you are emotionally defenseless, and are more prone to accepting their offensive behaviours, in order to avoid them leaving you again. Further, this often leads to your pleading, apologising, and begging the narcissist to stay, even when you have done no wrong. Hurt and rescue cycles explain why narcissistic abuse victims experience cravings and obsessive thoughts, once No Contact has been executed.”

“If you constantly wonder about the status of your relationship, ruminate about what you could do differently, believe the problems are all your fault, constantly obsess about what your partner is up to, experience mood swings, are constantly fearful and anxious, and/or feel like less of a person than before you met your partner, you have been the victim of emotional abuse. It’s important to understand that the aftermath of emotional trauma needs to be taken seriously.”

_______________________________

For those who object to the label ‘narcissistic abuse’ (my words):

For those who object to the label ‘narcissistic abuse’, under the assumption that it amounts to an ableist slur against those with NPD, you are straightforwardly mistaken about the reason for the label ‘narcissistic abuse’. In all fairness, it is possible that a great many targets of narcissistic abuse are similarly mistaken.

Narcissism is a completely general dimension of personality. Everyone has some degree of narcissism, which one might construe as a person’s general tendency towards having narcissistic motivations, or acting in narcissistically motivated ways. (It is possible for one’s degree of narcissism to change over time.) Not all narcissistically motivated actions are emotionally abuse, and not all instances of emotional abuse are narcissistically motivated.

Narcissistic abuse is just emotional abuse that is narcissistically motivated. Someone who does not have NPD can still be narcissistically motivated, or emotionally abusive, or both. Accordingly, it is possible for someone to be narcissistically abusive without having NPD.

In order to be diagnosed with NPD, one must have a comparatively greater tendency towards narcissistic abuse. However, it doesn’t follow that everyone with NPD will be narcissistically abusive, given the opportunity. Very roughly, to have NPD is to be extremely prone to having narcissistic motivations (to the point of dysfunction), whether or not these motivations happen to lead to abusive behaviours. Again, not all narcissistically motivated behaviours are emotionally abusive, and not all emotional abuse is narcissistically motivated. Narcissistic abuse is simply emotional abuse that is narcissistically motivated, regardless of whether it is imposed by someone who has NPD.

There is a tendency to call a narcissistic abuser ‘a narcissist’ or ‘the narcissist’. E.g. this happens in the attached video. However, the intended meaning of ‘narcissist’ varies wildly. It is sometimes used to refer exclusively to people who have NPD. I would say that this is a fairly sloppy and ill-advised use of the term, for reasons that should be clear from the above. ‘Narcissist’ is also sometimes used (more defensibly) to refer to anyone who is sufficiently prone to having narcissistic motivations (where this might not be sufficient for NPD), or even anyone who is presently acting with a narcissistic motivation. It is in this latter, more defensible sense that I would interpret a use of ‘a narcissist’ or ‘the narcissist’, in a discussion of narcissistic abuse. E.g. in the context of such a discussion, the narcissist would simply be the relevant person who is acting with a narcissistic motivation. In other words, the narcissist would be the relevant person who has performed an emotionally abusive act because of a narcissistic motivation.

[squisherific]

Worth The Wait

Rating: T

Summary: The war is over. Gray is on his bed, and Juvia is in his bathroom. Will she ever come out? This is a terrible description. Gray x Juvia. Gruvia. 

Read on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12429437/1/Worth-The-Wait

A/N: For Gruvia Week. This isn’t technically based on any prompt, because I’m a rebel, or I should say, because I’ve had this headcanon for a while, and I’m too lazy to try and make it fit a specific prompt, but I guess passion may fit the best, so enjoy lol. ^__^

A couple of weeks had gone by since the great war against Zeref’s army and Acnologia had ended. Things were slowly but surely falling back into place. Magnolia and several of the neighboring towns, which had suffered the greatest damage from the battles fought on their grounds, were being rebuilt stone by stone and brick by brick.

Many of the mage guilds had pitched in with the repairs, including the mages from areas thankfully untouched by the terrors of battle. Gray supposed the hard work was made quite a bit easier by the fact that they were all being treated like heroes by the locals. It was a desperate battle among mages, dragon slayers, demons, demon slayers, and even dragons, but it was the regular townspeople that usually paid the highest prices during times of war. Homes were lost, families separated, towns decimated, and casualties numbered in the thousands. And those elements were just the most visible consequences currently being dealt with. However, the emotional and mental trauma was yet another enemy left behind for those survivors to keep on fighting even when the magical threats had ceased to be.

That was war, and that was what Gray Fullbuster himself had only nearly just survived. In fact, technically, he hadn’t survived at all. He had died. He knew he had, because he had done it to himself. When he had forced that ice blade through his abdomen, the point of the sword feeling adversely hot as it pierced his body, he was sure that those were to be his final moments on Earthland. And yet, here he was two weeks later, his house in mid-repair and expansion, while the source of his survival had currently, and seemingly made camp in his bathroom.

How had he gotten to this point? Well, it was kind of a long story. But, as Gray lay bare-chested on his bed, the lights dimmed in what Gray felt was an inviting way, and his room looking unusually tidy, he certainly had time to mull it all over as he heard another mysterious object clatter to his bathroom floor. He frowned, and sighed and thought.

During the war, he had a few close calls. Enemies tougher beyond any he had previously faced were hell bent on destroying not just him, but everything he held dear in his life. Not being a stranger to loss was an understatement where Gray was concerned. If not for Fairy Tail, loss would be more familiar to him than most any other experience in his life. Yet during the war Fairy Tail, too, was something he almost lost, and it would have been his own fault had it happened.

Gray had done something which he had felt was unforgivable. He had sought to fight and kill one of the most important people in his life, his best friend Natsu. You could argue he hadn’t been in his right mind. You could argue that circumstances made his actions understandable, and perhaps even justified in a way. But Gray knew better. He had acted rashly and wrongly. And he had almost ruined one of the bonds he had held most dear, and he was determined to pay for that grievous error with his life.

Gray felt in that moment, when standing in front of Zeref, and after having heard what Happy had said about Natsu’s life being in jeopardy, that if he could just stop Zeref, no matter the cost to himself, then he could have peace. He didn’t need anything or anyone else at that point. Too much had gone wrong. He had made too many mistakes along the way. He had hurt too many people. And too many people had been hurt for, and because of him. It was his last resort. It was what he had been preparing for. Should the worst happen, he always had Lost Iced Shell.

A lost attribute spell was one of the most difficult and dangerous types of magics one could use, for implementing such a technique usually came with a hefty price. He hadn’t wanted to use it. How many times had he been on the brink of casting Iced Shell in the past, and been saved by others, or stopped in mid-cast when he remembered what it would cost his friends were he to die? No, he didn’t want anyone else to cry over him. But that was the beauty of the Lost attribute. He had found a way to remove that unpleasant side effect when leaving his life behind as ice. This way would be a clean escape. And that was the core problem. It was an escape.

But thankfully, that course of events never came to be, for that precious friend stepped into things once again, and reminded him what it was to be a part of Fairy Tail. They were a family, and running away from life, no matter the reasons behind it, wasn’t the answer. And every day since the war concluded, he had never been more grateful to still be alive.

And yet, the reason Gray had attacked Natsu, the reason he had decimated Zeref’s right-hand man Invel, the reason he had learned lost iced shell, the reason his mind had been so muddled, the reason his heart had been so pained, the reason he had pierced his body with his own ice blade, the reason he had survived it, the reason he was so glad to still be alive, and the reason he was now currently so infuriatingly nervous were all tied up with the same person. And that person had now been in the bathroom for the last half hour.

Had it really been a half hour? Gray checked the clock hanging from his bedroom wall again, and then with a sigh, lay back down on his pillow, hands folded behind his head. Was she sick? Should he check on her? She was carrying an awfully big bag when she had gone in there. Was this normal? He had lived with her for six months, but he never remembered her taking this long to get ready for bed. Then again, it was never his bed she was getting ready for.

Gray didn’t know what to do with himself. Why had he done this? Inviting her to spend the night was a ridiculous idea. Why did he think things would progress naturally? When has anything ever progressed naturally between them? No matter how much he tried to control the direction their relationship went in, she always managed to veer him off course, and tonight seemed no different.

Gray had promised her an answer. That’s how this new section of their life had truly begun. He had broached the subject. He was thinking towards the future. He had wanted to live, and he had wanted it to be with her. He needed it to be with her. But for a short while, which had felt like an agonizing eternity, she had not lived. She had died in his arms. No actions he took, nor any amount of pleading had coaxed her into opening her eyes again. He was convinced that the person he had to protect at all costs, was beyond his reach. He had been too weak again. And he had paid the highest of prices. But she had succeeded where he had failed. She had saved him. Why couldn’t he do the same for her? His emotions that followed that moment, holding her limp body in his arms, were things that still haunted him in his dreams.

He had so many regrets. He felt like he had done so many things wrong. And when he was sure this loss was the one to break him - when he had tossed everything else away in his rage and his grief, she had done the unthinkable yet again, and had come back. She had lived, and his future, that one he wanted so badly to protect, was again back in motion.

Should he tell her he was about to toss that future to the winds again in order to cast lost iced shell? Should she know he was about to erase her memories of him forever, in his clumsy attempt of making amends? Should she know that in that moment as he faced Zeref he had forsaken all plans of giving her that answer, in order to truly save her and all of his other loved ones the way he believed he should have done from the start? Would she be angry? Was she ever really angry with him? He wasn’t sure, not of any of it. But he told her anyway. And she had listened, even when she had already forgiven him for all of it before he had ever uttered a single word. Because that’s how she was. She understood, she always understood.

Another odd noise rang from the bathroom. Was it a hair dryer? Had she taken a shower? Is that why she was taking so long? Forty five minutes as he checked the clock again. He looked to the side of his small bed. Had it always been this small? Could they both even fit on it?

Gray recalled her squeezing in next to him once during those six months when they had lived together. That bed had been really small, too. Yet she had managed to join him in it without him noticing. How long had she had been there before he had woken up to fine her nestled into him like that? That had unnerved him. Not because he had disliked it. No, quite the opposite, and that was the problem,. He was not ready to take the relationship in that direction yet. He still had so many things left to do. But, she had again steered their ship off course, and he needed to right it immediately, or he would be in very dangerous waters indeed. But now, Gray was ready to finally take that next step, and explore the uncharted territory, because the other destinations had already been settled.

When the fighting had ended, and everyone and everything seemed to be taking a much needed intermission, Gray had pulled her aside so he could talk to her privately. That’s when he had confessed to all he had attempted to do, all he had regretted, all he had wished for, and all that he had felt, and especially for her. He didn’t know why he had been so especially scared when telling her things that he not only long since felt, but things that she likely long since knew. Originally, the conversation was supposed to be about him accepting her feelings, but things had now turned into him wanting her to accept his. Was there ever a chance she’d push him away, or deny him that happiness? Of course not. That’s partly why he loved her. But it was a relief that they were no longer just thoughts, feelings or actions, but now also words that she could be sure existed in his heart.

Gray’s mind wandered back to the bed. When she had slipped into his the last time, he knew she just wanted to be near him. She told him as much, and he had believed her. And that was partly what worried him now as the clock neared midnight. Is it possible she misunderstood something about his invitation that evening? Surely not. But she was so unpredictable. Sometimes she seemed miles ahead of him in her desires, and at other times, she seemed naively behind.

The problem was, Gray didn’t quite know where he and Juvia stood at the moment. They were in this weird limbo of a new relationship, but they seemed emotionally so far past that point, that it was unfair to classify it as such. They used to live together, and Gray wanted to live together again. That’s why he was expanding his house. So, there would be room not just for Juvia, but hopefully, for whatever life blessed them with in the future.

They had been spending much more time together since the war ended. Gray had hinted at the reasons for expanding his home. He even had a ring stashed away, waiting for the right moment. And as far as their physical relationship went, kissing had become an incredibly frequent occurrence. They had done a few other things as well, when they could catch some time alone in between rebuilding Magnolia. All those things were wonderful things. Gray wanted more of them. But nothing had really been discussed.

So, when Gray told Juvia to come over that evening, and she offered to bring dinner, Gray had advised her to bring an overnight bag as well, with some essentials, in case she got “tired” and wanted to spend the night.

Juvia had looked confused for a split second, but then Gray thought he saw that look of dawning comprehension hit her. He knew he saw her flush. He knew he was a bit flushed himself. When Juvia came by earlier that night, it didn’t look like she was spending the night, her overpacked baggage was more like she intended to stay the month. Dinner had been hurried and awkward. Gray was nervous, Juvia was doubly so from what he could tell. He had lost count of how many forks she had dropped. Was this really the same girl who had so casually snuck into his bed once before?

And that’s why Gray was worried. This was not the first time Juvia spoke a big game, but when things started actually happening, she became surprisingly oblivious and shy, but endearingly so, too. Because that meant Gray was able to take the lead, and that’s how he liked it. When they had finished dinner, they dawdled some time away chatting while washing and drying the dishes together. And then there was nothing left to do but get ready for bed. They had both had a very long day of working on repairs to the guild, but Gray knew sleep was the last thing on either of their minds. Juvia insisted Gray use the bathroom first, and now, as the clock had long passed midnight, his bladder dearly thanked her for that kindness. He didn’t think he would have lasted until now if not for that.

But he really was getting very fretful. Having all this time to think things through was playing havoc with his emotions. He had assumed Juvia knew what was insinuated by his invitation tonight. But what if he was wrong? What if she finally got out of the bathroom after whatever mysterious ritual she was currently performing, and headed for the couch instead? He would be completely mortified. And if she wasn’t ready for this next step, he didn’t want to force her. Maybe he shouldn’t even be on the bed. Maybe he should take a spot on the floor instead. Why was he jumping to the conclusion that they were going to sleep together? He hadn’t even outright asked her.

This is so frustrating! And what on earth is taking her so long?!

Gray wanted to pull his hair out. He wanted to scream into his pillow. He wanted to pace the room until he wore a hole into the wooden floor. Because he was tired of waiting. Not just tonight, but ever since she had crawled into his bed all those months ago. Ever since she had first moved into his home after Fairy Tail disbanded. Ever since he had cried into her chest and she consoled him on that snowy hill. Ever since she first called him Gray-sama. Ever since he accidentally grabbed something he shouldn’t have on that rainy day when he met her. Because this urge wasn’t born from love, but love had grown to strongly accompany it, which had made the desire so much more unbearable.

Gray heard another clatter of something on his bathroom tiles. He had, had enough of waiting. He sprung from the bed, and hurried towards the door. Without knocking, he found the door surprisingly unlocked. The view that met his eyes was strange in a multitude of ways.

Juvia was bent over in a compromising position made even worse by the fact that she was wearing a very skimpy piece of underwear indeed, with a blue, practically transparent frilly thing draped over it. Her arms were attempting to grab a big pile of other frilly and delicate pieces of lingerie that looked to have fallen from their precarious place on the side of the tub into the tub. There were haircare and makeup products and tools strewn all over his tiny bathroom sink and on the floor along with several magazines, one of which Gray could see was open to a page with the headline, “7 Quick Tips To The Most Beautiful You.”

Quick, huh?, Gray thought ruefully to himself.

Juvia, clearly not having heard Gray open the door, jumped at the sound of his voice as he said her name, and sent the delicate pieces of underwear scattering back into the thankfully dry tub. She swiftly turned around, her eyes wide in dismay. Gray got a look at her front this time, which was not that much more covered than the back. Her breasts were spilling out of her bra, which was also layered with the slinky baby doll, and her hair was meticulously curled. Gray could tell that even her face had been done up with God knew how many layers of makeup judging by the amount of products behind her, but in that odd way where it looked as if she wasn’t wearing much at all. She looked gorgeous, but this is preparation he’d expect for a grand ball, not his house, although, granted, her outfit wasn’t really appropriate for the general public. What was she up to?

“Gray-sama! Did you need to use the bathroom again? Juvia can get these things out of the way,“ she said hurriedly, and she began to bend over again to move her items to make space for him.

“No, I don’t need to use anything,” he said, and before he could ask anything else, Juvia, still looking quite frazzled, began bombarding him with questions.

“Oh good,” she sighed in relief, “well, as long as Gray-sama is here, which does he prefer, this blue,” she said, holding her arms wide so Gray could get a good look at her negligee, “or perhaps this black one,” she said holding another slinky piece of lingerie up in front of her, “or maybe this pink one?” as she pulled yet another piece from the massive pile. “And what about Juvia’s hair? She thought down would be best, but maybe Gray-sama likes it up instead?” and she started collecting her curls into a ponytail and clutching them there tentatively, waiting for his opinions with an anxious expression on her face.  

However, Gray didn’t answer any of her questions, and instead asked one of his own in genuine bemusement, “what are you doing?”

Juvia was already flushed, but she grew even more so at Gray’s query. She looked a bit crestfallen, though Gray didn’t understand why.

“Juvia was just getting ready for bed,” she said, trying to hitch a smile onto her face.

Gray frowned a bit at her. “It’s been over an hour,” he said. It was easy for him to sound sympathetic rather than irritated, because Juvia’s expression looked so defeated. She let her hair fall down around her shoulders again, and put the pink and black pieces of lingerie back on the overflowing pile.

“Juvia…wanted to look desirable for Gray-sama,” she admitted in a small voice and after a long pause. She was avoiding his gaze.

Gray didn’t fully comprehend this line of thinking, and he said as much. “But, you always look desirable,”  he stated bluntly, his brow furrowed. Maybe he should have said something more comforting. She had looked so upset, and she had clearly been trying so hard. But, when Juvia raised her face this time, there was a legitimate smile there now.

“Really, Gray-sama?” she asked hopefully. She looked quite touched.

Gray again didn’t really understand what was going through her head, but he was glad she looked happier. “Well, yeah.”

It seemed like she might cry at that, but Gray was glad when Juvia stood up on tip toe and kissed him instead. He kissed her back, his tongue meeting hers as he threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to him. She did feel really good against his bare skin. Her hands had begun to trace the grooves of his back and he knew she could feel that pressure from him against her. This was good. This is what should have been happening an hour ago. But they were still in his bathroom. They needed to move.

He painstakingly broke the kiss enough to breath, “Do you want to come to bed?”

Her forehead against his, and her nose brushing his, she said, “yes, Gray-sama, Juvia would like that very much.”

Gray grinned, and he took her by the hand.

He needn’t have worried that they weren’t on the same page about this matter. As with all the most important things, he and Juvia were two halves of the same whole. As long as it was the two of them, everything would be ok. That night was more than ok, though. It was everything it should have been, and it was worth the wait.

The End

A/N: I told you the description was a terrible one lmao. And now I am officially out of headcanons. Thanks for reading, and I hope it’s not absolutely foolish of me to ask that if you enjoyed this to please review. ^__~

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon and ah, its just me than. Links on tumblr break half the time for me sorry bout that!

1: Mostly how it looks in the actual episode but with some changes. Its gaint, even has multiple floors, most rooms have a glass dome roof with iron railings (3-4) lining the bottom of the glass. The hallway typically have windows leading up to the roof, but the roof and both floor are a mix of materials like iron, copper, wood, and even gold. The most complex room is the Council room, which has a a higher roof than the rest, with mostly wood railings that go all the way up and lead to a circle at the top. The Council is the group that leads Mizu, they have 1 leader of every Idol to represent the different opinions of the citizens, with 1 special member that doesnt belong to any Idol, and is instead used to represent the opinions of people who either haven't chosen a idol yet, got kicked out of a idol following, and just to give a unbiased opinion most of the time. They do make most decisions, mostly those relating to topics like construction, farming, money distribution, where people can live, etc. And they also mostly agree on most subjects and don't agure, but they do have massive disagreements on topics and problems like Representation in other Cities/Kingdoms, trading, visitors and immigrants, and sometimes supply missions. 

3: Situations like taking care of his siblings (I have decided Benjamin shall have siblings) and friends, and he was also put under extreme stress as a kid in school and family life, but unlike Ranbob, he managed to successfully communicate his struggle and find coping mechanisms. Also when he went off to live by himself for a bit, he was under sudden extreme situations where he had to make split second decision. So he just learned from everything thats happened to him over time. 

8: Levi exists purely to make Watson and others go insane. People claimed it was made up because they claimed most events as unrealistic (like Doomsday, Techno escaping a death trial, Pandoras Vault (they believed it impossible for something to be inescapable)). Plus the fact it seemed cruel such young people where faced with such trauma that no sane person would let it happen, and the fact most historical important items couldn't be found, people claiming that they where made up (also cause if the land was that exposed to such devastation, it would've collapsed on itself). No to both of those, by this point their to far away from Dream for him to have a direct meaningful affect on the group, and while the residents of Kelalen know it was Dreams sword, the group does not know. Nope! Mizu came about years after Kelalen was forgotten about and shamed. And Mizu was only made because of the growing number of believers in the SMP history was causing disruptions in both the political sense and educational sense, so it was made to separate the "outcasts". Though Mizu eventually grew as big as most cities, and greatly civilized and advanced, though they where still often "forgotten" about and basically seperate from the Kingdom that set them up and became their own place (though not officially). 

They do have a friendship! Its not super close but their definitely friends. Ranbob is definitely a worrier, he heard that two of his friends almost died he immediately goes to them and fuses over them. And when their recovering he doesnt leave their side, infact Benjamin has to drag him away from the two just to get him to eat. And he refuses to sleep unless he's like directly on top of them. Yeah, Cletus challenges Grievous to a parkour challenge over a Delta Basalt, and he happily accepts. They end up giving everyone a heart attack after Cletus slips and almost falls onto a magma block. Jackie plays in soul sand and dumps a handful down Rans shirt, Watson teaches Charles and Isaac how to make gold from gold nuggets and more Piglin culture. When Cletus is cleared to be ok and Jackie stops getting soul sand in areas he didn't even know existed. They all sit in a circle and decide what they should try first, with Ran and Watson watching carefully and preventing them from drinking anything that they recognized as harmful. But other than that they just let the others do whatever. 

10: Because he couldn't use it, when Dream was a full human he used to be able to access his powers at his own will. But after his spirit got linked to his mask his power greatly reduced. To the point he relies on others for his powers, more specifically, he needs them to be exposed to him for a certain amount of time (like 2 weeks) until he can use their own essence/spirit to help his powers. When the group of people came after Ranbob left, they stayed for a long time, especially after they took the mask with them. Dream got the power back. Cause it is a "I worked to hard to give this up." Type situation. Ranbob was his first victim and the first person he had control over in decades, he considers Ranbob the puppet he was meant to have and refuses to let him go. Everyone is the nat to him, but specifically Ran. Cause Ran was the only person who survived the murders, so Dream sees him as a kill that was taken from him that he needs to fix. Everyone else to him is nothing more than an annoyance, and he's more than happy to use them as nothing more than a stepping stone to kill once he's done with them. 

13: Ran is stronger than everyone else, Jackie is faster than everyone else, and Watson is more acrobatic than everyone else. Sorry can you reword "Is Jackie considered stronger than them aside from shared tactics, or is it the other way around?"? I dont completely understand sorry. Kind of, I'll say. There can only be 3 ranking members, but it can also be 2 Corporals and 1 Sergeant. 

14: They where caught off guard, but also knew something must be going on due to the fishermen staying closer to Ranbob than normal. He never got too far, as he isnt very fast and Charles and both Isaac tend to be fast enough to get him. If the episode is really bad bringing him back can lead into physical fights but it rarely gets into that, as it seems like Ranbob really doesn't want to fight them most of the time, and holds himself back.

Well, I hope it’s working for you now, cause that sounds less than ideal, honestly.

1: Well, Mizu sounds gorgeous, quite frankly. As for the council having a member of no idol, what about that? People can get kicked out from an idol group? Why? Do some just never choose an idol? Also, how’s the housing situation there? Are there like, apartments on one of the floors, or something? Why does the council not really agree on outside affairs?

3: Not gonna lie, I’m rather curious. What kind of life did Benjamin lead to be under such heavy stress? Does he relate to Ranbob because of this? And what was he doing when he lived on his own to need to make fast-paced decisions? Also, siblings! What’re his siblings like?

8: He sounds like it.

And hm. There are several things I’ve taken from this. 

Do totems no longer exist, if they don’t believe Techno could have survived, or did that particular piece of the story just get left out over time?

Has Pandora’s vault fallen? And why would people find it unbelievable? If it’s the future, shouldn’t they have even more advanced technology than that? Or is it simply the lack of evidence that leads them to disagreeing about it’s existence? 

They don’t believe people would have been so cruel to the younger ones? Oof, um. Well, at least that says something about the future, I guess. 

Mizu sounds like it has an interesting history in it’s self. How do Ran and Ranbob feel about being in a world that basically shunned the people of what would eventually become their home? Do they ever have issues when people find out they originate from Mizu, or worship an idol? From how you put it, it seems like that wasn’t really looked upon well, since they shunted the people who did it to Mizu.

Friendships for the win! Maybe not close, but it sounds like an interesting dynamic. Charles honestly seems pretty mild, and as you said, shy, so putting him with Mr.Random And Chaotic certainly sounds like something. How did these two become friends?

And honestly, it sounds like everyone had a lot of unique experiences in the Nether. It also sounds like Ran and Ranbob were probably an inch from a heart-attack the entire time, considering the shenanigans ongoing. It sounds kind of cute that Ranbob was only sleeping when he was close to them though, and it gives me the image of a giant fluffy cat, so win-win there.

10: Interesting. Was Ranbob not enough to fully return that power to him when the Fishermen first came and took him? Or did Dream just not think they’d get that far and not react in time, when he still had that power from his puppet?

And, uh, wow. Dream was certainly off his rocker before, but that’s definitely cemented now. Is anyone aware he thinks of Ranbob in such a way? Does Ranbob know? How are everyone’s feelings on that-besides y’know, ‘gonna murder Mr.Mask Man’. How does everyone feel about being considered as ‘nats’?

13: Huh. And yeah, I confused myself rereading that. Basically, is Jackie considered stronger than those two? You said they were mostly on par, because of the shared tactics, so when it comes to cutting those shared tactics out of the picture, does Jackie come out on top?

14: So the gang could tell? If I may ask, what were the tells that gave Ranbob away?