#i know i must trust the process but my GOD

[vampirekeehl]

being patient while rendering. and yet. losing my mind.

[mortalityplays]

This is a dangerous sentiment for me to express, as an editor who spends most of my working life telling writers to knock it off with the 45-word sentences and the adverbs and tortured metaphors, but I do think we're living through a period of weird pragmatic puritanism in mainstream literary taste.

e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.

I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.

This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.

And it's risky, because unmeasurables come with the possibility of rejection or failure. Drop in too many allegorical descriptions of the rose garden and someone will decide your prose is 'purple' and unserious. A lot of online audiences seem to be terrified of being considered pretentious in their tastes. That creates a real unwillingness to step out into discursive spaces where you 🫵 are expected to develop and explore a personal relationship with each element of a work. No guard rails, no right answers. Word of god is shit to us out here. But fear of getting that kind of analysis wrong makes people hove to work that slavishly explains itself on every page. And I'm left wondering, what's the point of art that leads every single participant to the same conclusion? See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Down the rollforth land, yonder horizonways. I just want to read more weird stuff.

[shiftthemoon]

reality shifting isn’t hard. you’ve been told it’s hard because everyone’s too scared to admit it’s not. they cling to their 800-step methods, their must-have crystals, their perfect conditions because they think that if they let go of that control, they’ll fail. but here’s the thing: the more you try to control the process, the more you convince yourself it’s out of your control. and that’s the problem. that’s why so many people feel stuck. shifting isn’t some big, far-fetched thing. it’s just you. it’s always been you.

we’re conditioned to think we’re powerless. think about it—school, work, society, all of it drills this idea into us that everything has to be proven, earned, validated. so, when you hear about shifting, your brain freaks out and says, wait, wait, this is too easy, this can’t be real. and then you spiral. you overcomplicate it. you make yourself think you need the “perfect” script, the “right” subliminal, or that you have to meditate for three hours while the stars align perfectly. like, no… you don’t. all of that? it’s fluff. it’s noise.

at its core, shifting is belief. just belief. no, really, let that sink in. you don’t need to “do” belief perfectly. it’s not something you master through sheer willpower. it’s something you already have. you’ve believed in things your whole life. you believed in gravity without needing proof. you believe your favorite songs are beautiful without needing to explain why. belief is natural. it’s effortless when you stop overthinking it. that’s the energy you need to bring to shifting—trust. trust that your mind knows what it’s doing, and that if you let it, it will take you there. every single extra thing you pile on? the overthinking, the doubt, the need for guarantees? that’s what’s slowing you down. not the “lack of progress,” not some mythical “block”—it’s you convincing yourself it’s harder than it is.

and let’s talk about social media for a second. oh my god, the shifting community on social media… i get it. it’s comforting to see other people on this journey. but let’s be honest—how much of that content is actually helping you? like, really? 90% of the time, scrolling through shifting advice isn’t inspiring; it’s overwhelming. everyone’s got their own opinions, their own “best methods,” their own rules. one person says scripting is a must, another says it’s a waste of time. one person swears by affirmations, another says visualization is the only way. and before you know it, you’re sitting there questioning everything you thought you knew, wondering if you’ll ever get it “right.” spoiler alert: you already know how to shift. you don’t need a thousand voices telling you what to do. in fact, the more you listen to them, the harder it becomes to hear yourself.

take a break. seriously. log off the apps. give yourself space to breathe and think. ask yourself: why do i want to shift? what’s stopping me? what feels right to me? no tiktok trend, youtube guide, or reddit post can answer those questions for you. only you can. and i know that sounds scary. we’ve been conditioned to think we need external validation for everything, but shifting is a deeply personal thing. you don’t need a step-by-step tutorial. you need to trust your instincts. that’s it.

and let me be clear: i’m not saying methods or subliminals are bad. they’re fine if they help you feel aligned. but they’re not what makes shifting happen. you are. methods are just tools. if you use them, great. if you don’t, that’s great too. because the truth is, shifting isn’t about doing things “right.” it’s about letting go of the idea that you need to.

so let me break it down for you. the only things you really need to shift are:

1. a desire. you have to want to go to your desired reality. no brainer, right?

2. belief. this is the big one. you have to trust it’s possible. no “what ifs,” no “but hows.” just trust.

3. persistence. if it doesn’t happen right away, that’s okay. don’t give up. if you’ve ever learned to ride a bike, you know that falling doesn’t mean you can’t do it—it just means you’re learning. shifting is the same.

that’s it. no fancy rituals, no endless research, no “perfect” conditions. the process is simple because it’s natural. you’ve probably done it before without even realizing it— the only reason it feels hard now is because you’ve convinced yourself it has to be.

stop making it harder than it needs to be. shifting isn’t this unattainable, mystical thing reserved for “chosen ones.” it’s something anyone can do. you can do it. your mom can do it. that anti-shifter lurking in every crevice of shiftblr could do it. you’ve always been capable. but you have to stop getting in your own way. stop doubting yourself. stop relying on others to tell you what’s possible. this is your journey. own it.

and above all, be patient. shifting is not a race. it’s not about how fast you can get there or how perfect your dr is. it’s about trust, intention, and focus. log off, tune into yourself, and let it happen. shifting has always been yours to claim. it’s not something you need permission for. it’s not something you need to earn. it’s just you, your mind, and your belief. always has been, always will be.

[woniverse-writes]

Dancing with ENHA as their Secret-Girlfriend!Idol!Reader

summary: enha dancing with their secret significant other 

word count: 4.2k

warnings: suggestive at times, not proofread, fem reader

Lee Hee Seung: 

It was public knowledge that you and Heeseung were friends since you had trained together at one point

However it was NOT public knowledge that you two actually ended up becoming a couple after you both debuted 

With that being said, fans were overjoyed any time you were seen together, always thinking your interactions were so cute and wholesome

One day a video of the two of you pre-debut got leaked

It was a clip of a practice video of you dancing to “Bonnie & Clyde” by DEAN

The choreography was good and you both danced well, but anyone watching could tell that the two young trainees were nervous to be dancing with each other 

Fans of both groups thought the video was pure gold though since it showcased how much you’d both grown as performers, and the fact that it was another interaction between their favs

The video trended on social media for about a week or so before the chatter and excitement was redirected to a NEW dance practice video… 

which just so happened to be of you and Heeseung recreating the choreography from so many years in full

It was a well filmed, high quality performance 

The two of you had even gone the extra mile and re-recorded the song as a duet, making it a full cover

Any trace of the awkwardness from your trainees days had been nowhere to be found

You and heeseung were dripping confidence and sex appeal as you danced together

A majority of the dance was spent with the the two of you in close contact- his arms around your waist, your palms trailing down his chest, him hands tracing the outline of your body

you were practically in your own little bubble and that shit read very clearly on camera

Of course your fans went even more feral

Twitter was full of praise for your growth and everyone was saying how you and heeseung must be so much closer now than back then 

(if only they knew just how close👀)

And of course there were some smart fans (that unfortunately probably got called delusional) who could sense the thick sexual tension between the two of you

✪ ‘Y’all- there is absolutely NO WAY these two aren’t fucking😭’ ✪ ‘I genuinely feel like i’m interrupting something’ ✪ ‘Heeseung… if you’re not gonna get to work please step aside so i can have my turn with y/n’

It definitely was added to every single “top kpop moments of 20XX” video and thread

And since you’re both evil-

You each had made casual posts on sns about the process after

‘Did engene enjoy our little throwback collab?’ and the bitch posted a mirror selfie of the two of you sweaty and half dressed🧍‍♀️

Park Jong Seong:

Jay always loved watching you dance

Tbh jay loved to watch you do anything- but dancing was one of his favorites

Any time you had a comeback, he always wanted you to teach him the choreography as soon as possible- whether it was cute, sexy, or fierce- that boy was gonna learn it 

Which meant when the song actually dropped he’d be the first to make a tik tok with you every time

And of course the opposite rang true as well- 

Whenever enhypen had a comeback you were the first to learn the new choreo

The tik toks are always so cute too-

Like- that’s your man so of course you’re gonna be cute with him lmao

It’s mostly because you know he gets flustered so easily when you tease him or flirt with him in front of the other members or staff

It’s especially hectic when your comeback schedules overlap because trust their will be new tik toks every other day

You guys got especially brave when enha was promoting “bite me”...

Instead of just doing the pre-chorus together and posting that like the others, you did the whole pre-chorus AND chorus… WITH THE PARTNER WORK

If fans weren’t already going feral over the boys dancing with partners before, they definitely lost their shit at your mini collab

✪ ‘Oh my god… there’s no way this is real’ ✪ ‘Jay… your hands are a little low there buddy😅’ ✪ ‘So they just casually covered half of ‘Bite Me’ on a random Thursday? Okay cool’ ✪ ‘THE WAY JAY LOOKS AT Y/N OMFG’

It actually took fans longer than expected to realize you were filming together even when your promotional schedules didn’t lineup, so of course rumors started eventually

However it seemed like your fans were just rolling with it since your interactions were fun an cute (they’ve been praying for a collab stage between your groups since debut)

There was one time you filmed with heeseung instead of Jay and it lowkey threw everyone for a loop

Was it intentional? Absolutely not! Well- maybe slightly 

You and your members were curious to see if anyone would react- had your fans even noticed that you only ever film with Jay? (yes, they noticed it right away)

So you can imagine the comments when you posted of you and Heeseung doing the choreo for “brought the heat back”

✪ ‘Uhmmm?? What happened to your man???’ ✪ ‘Omg no mom and dad are fighting‘ ✪ ‘HEESEUNG PLZ TELL ME YOU CAN FIGHT BRO’ ✪ ‘Peace and love but where is Jay…”

Yeah… it gave y’all a good laugh 

There have also been plenty of time where you’ve posted your own little dance covers without Jay, or even just danced to his songs casually on live while jamming out, which always excited fans of both groups

Basically his fans and yours know SOMETHING is going on between you two and for some reason no one really talks about it like you’d expect them to…

Sim Jae Yun:

You and jake had been invited to be part of an end-of-the-year collab stage

It was supposed to be a fun little performance between a few different male and female idols

At the time- the only people who knew about your relationship were your groupmates, meaning it was especially hard to see each other without getting caught

However when your manager gave you the news that you’d be collaborating with a few different idols, and that your boyfriend just so happened to be one of them, your heart started to race 

You attended a meeting with your manager in which you were informed that you’d be working with Lee Isa, Kim Gaeul, Kang Minhee, Park Jisung, and of course Jake

The stage would have three parts- a section for the girls, a section for the boys, and then one where you all came together 

The overall vibe was fun and flirty, and you’d each be partnered with someone

The second the idea of “partners” was introduced, you and jake immediately made (what you thought was subtle, but was definitely not) eye-contact

The meeting wrapped up and you were immediately conversing with you were manager, trying to subtly convey how you thought it would make most sense for you and Jake to be partners 

Unbeknownst to you, Jake was doing the exact same thing

Luckily, it worked and both of your managers were able to get the two of you to be partners

You all began preparing immediately, and since some of the partner work was different for each pair you’d all broken off to learn separate bits of choreography 

You and Jake had begun working on a few different combinations, since the song decisions hadn’t been entirely finalized yet

The first one you worked on was to “Invitation” by JUNNY and Gaeko, which totally fit the vibe of the overall stage concept

Except it was maybe a bit TOO flirty (or perhaps that was just you and Jake)

You were easily able to connect and play into the each other’s artistry

Your relationship had always been full of playful energy and putting a smile on the other person’s face, so dancing together just felt like another extension of that

The choreography was intense and fast, hitting every accent and ad-lib, requiring a lot of texture and groove

but after learning the steps and running it once or twice to get the moves down it felt like second nature, especially since all your charisma and stage presence was really just you having fun with your boyfriend 

Lots of behind the scenes content was filmed and unfortunately… some got leaked to the public 

Somehow yours and jake’s first dance practice got leaked, as well as Jisung and Isa’s and the video of yours, Gaeul, and Isa’s section

This was before anything was announced to let the public know a collab was even happening so fans were shocked on so many levels

✪ ‘We’ve got (your group), enhypen, ive, nct, stayc, and cravity members doing a collab?? Where did this even come from???’ ✪ ‘Gaeul, Y/n, and Isa dancing to “greedy” by Ariana Grande was not something i knew i needed- welcome back “wow thing” collab group’ ✪ ‘Jake and Y/n look like they’re having so much fun together i love them :(‘ ✪ ‘I feel like I've never seen Jake have this much fun while dancing! You can tell he really feels comfortable dancing with Y/n’ ✪ ‘The way they look at each other, oh i feel sick’

Unfortunately after that all the songs and choreography had to be changed :/

Park Sung Hoon:

Close by Nick Jonas

As the main dancer of your group, your company loves to highlight you any chance they get

This resulted in you doing frequent dance videos, collabing with other idols in order to reach outside your normal audience and hopefully attract some new fans

Sunghoon, ever the supportive boyfriend, makes sure you tell him every time a new video is going to be released so that he can have youtube open and ready for when it drops

texts you immediately after about how talented you are and how proud he is of you for taking on the challenges of choreographing and coming up with new ways to showcase your skills as a performer

Sometimes will just randomly pull up your videos and start watching them while y’all are hanging out

You had always told him beforehand who you’d be dancing with and he never expressed being bothered by any of your idol partners-

until he realized you yourself were picking them

You were sitting in his bed one day (watching one of your recent videos lol) when he suddenly looked up at you with the saddest puppy eyes ever 

“How come you’ve never asked me to dance with you☹️”

Oh he’d be so pouty and sulky omg

You’d been expecting that question for a while honestly

“Baby I’d love to dance with you, but would your company let us?” 

sunghoon hated that you had to be logical all the time, so he just rolled over to bury his face in your stomach, and groaned in despair

(This drama queen)

He eventually just wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted his head to rest his chin on your tummy, peering up at you

“Can we ask them tomorrow…”

You couldn’t stop the affectionate giggle that left you as you played with his hair and nodded softly

The next day, you talked to your manager first- proposing your next idea

Now you see- your manager loves sunghoon, your whole staff does really

They all think the two of you are perfect together, and would honestly probably announce you were official right this second if hybe let them

So it wasn’t a problem convincing your team to let you dance with your boyfriend

Of course that wasn’t exactly the case for Sunghoon’s team

It definitely made sense why they weren’t totally onboard with the idea- being worried about dating rumors and such- but you and hoon hadn’t had a single rumor involving each other up to that point!

They eventually caved and agreed, realizing it would be a good opportunity since all the other idols you had invited so far were all known as well-respected dancers in the industry

You ended up decided on going for a more intimate and contemporary vibe than you had done so far

“Close” by Nick Jonas and Tove Lo was the song you had agreed on using, having had already talked about choreographing to this song together just for fun at some point

You had worked with a choreographer from hybe, expressing your vision and showing some of the ideas you had, and the process went extremely smooth

The dance ended up being sensual and emotional, highlighting both of your skills as contemporary dancers

A good chunk of the choreography was spent with the two of you having very little physical contact, but being so close to each other that it delivered such a feeling a yearning

However, the last chorus totally changed the vibe

You two walked backward, facing away from each other, and right as you were about to bump into each other sunghoon abruptly turned around gripping your shoulder and whirling you to face him- leading to a sequence of quick spins and paired movements, finally breaking the pattern of avoiding physical contact

And the rest of the dance spent with you two practically glued together

The performance continued with sunghoon pulling you in toward him, you running your hands up his chest and neck and landing softly on his face before pulling him down to almost meet your lips

The two of you slowly walked together to the beat of the music until sunghoon’s back was hitting the wall

It came to an end with hoon sliding down into a seated position on the floor, leaning against the wall- you sliding down in sync, landing on his lap- his face still in your hands, his hands on your hips, foreheads leaned against each other’s

The choreography was so intimate that unfortunately hybe’s fears came true

The dating rumors were instantaneous…

✪ ‘This is such an unexpected pairing but it makes so much sense’ ✪ ‘Oh! My bad y’all i’ll just- i can just- uhm- lemme just leave the room and come back later’ ✪ ‘I know y/n said this performance was gonna be a bit different from her other’s but i didn’t think THIS is what she meant😭’ ✪ ‘Soooo, is this a safe space to say I wholeheartedly believe Y/nHoon is real?’ ✪ ‘Girl Y/nHoon BETTER be real after THAT’ ✪ 'the thoughts i'm thinking... i feel like my account would get suspended if i shared them👀'

And if that wasn’t enough to get them going, there was all the behind the scenes material as well

Both your company and hybe had released behind the scenes videos of the project, except they couldn’t have been more different

While the one posted to enhypen’s channel was mostly sunghoon being interviewed and shots of him practicing individually, with the occasional partner shot or interaction between you two

Your behind the scenes video had plenty of shots of you and hoon laughing and playfully bickering together

Clips of you finishing the choreography and falling against him, with him wrapping his arms around you and swaying back and forth circulated twitter immediately 

There were plenty of other moments that had fans fawning over your relationship

Such as when you wrapped up filming and sunghoon slid his hands from your hips to fully wrap his arms around your waist and pull you down to lay on top of him on the ground

Let’s just say hybe had to release a statement pretty soon after that

Kim Seon Woo:

Sunoo and you always post together 

vlogs, lives, story posts- you name it

Most fans never really thought anything of it since a majority of the time it was just you two shopping, trying new snacks, or talking about skincare

But there was also so much content you didn’t post

Like the countless couples tik tok trends that are sitting in your drafts (his favorite is the one where you put on lipstick and accidentally smudged it, then the camera turns to him covered in lipstick kiss marks)

But there are also surprisingly a lot of random dance videos you have of the two of you 

Sometimes when you’re hanging out at one of your company’s studios you’ll just turn on a song and come up with fun random choreography 

One of Sunoo’s favorites that you guys have come up with was to “Wildflower” by 5 seconds of summer

It was sensual and flirty, but still fun and cute- and the video conveys that perfectly with how much the two of you are giggling and clinging to each other

It started off really well! Both of you were locked in, hitting the snaps and beats perfectly, your expressions nothing short of perfect and professional 

But the second it got to the chorus your smiles were overtaking your faces as you tried to stay focused on the choreography and not burst out laughing

You still danced the routine perfectly! There just came a point in the dance where neither of you could stop smiling at each other

By the final chorus you were fully teasing your giggly boyfriend by mouthing the words with an overly flirtatious expression while running your hands down his neck and chest, causing him to squeeze your waist and teasingly pull you into him making you burst out laughing, before finishing out the dance with the biggest smiles anyone has ever seen 

You both often rewatch the video and your smiles end up being almost as big as the ones you had in the video

You were sitting with Sunoo one day and asked him if it was okay to post it to your personal account, and he excitedly agreed

However- for some reason you didn’t check to make sure you were on your private account instead of your groups account before you hit post, and without realizing, uploaded your choreography to your groups official instagram with the caption ‘me and my wildflower sunny baby☀️🌺’

It was only about 15 minutes later when sunoo was scrolling through his own instagram when he turned to you panicked

“Baby… you posted it on the wrong account”

“WHAT?????”

You immediately called your manager crying and freaking out, while sunoo called jungwon trying to explain the situation 

Both your management teams came to the agreement that no one would say anything about the video unless it got severely out of hand

They thought it would be best to keep the video up to avoid suspicion, However, you did have to change the caption

Aside from the crazies, most fans were eating it up!

✪ ‘I love that they’re so comfortable with each other, this is so cute’ ✪ ‘Their smiles and giggles🥺’ ✪ ‘I feel like we never get to see sunoo’s dance abilities highlighted, so i’m honestly grateful that y/n shared this’ ✪ ‘Oh they’re so in love don’t even try to deny it’

Yang Jung Won:

You had been hinting to your fans about doing more dance content, but the last thing they expected was for a video of you and jungwon dancing to “two hands” by Tate McCrae to randomly show up on your groups youtube channel one day

The video was professionally recorded in a cool location and the two of you had on cool but comfortable outfits

Basically y’all looked cunty asf and everyone was losing their shit over it but we’ll come back to that

The choreography involved the two of you being in some sort of physical contact for almost the entire thing

And when you weren’t touching, you were face to face staring into each other’s soul

It was lowkey like you were leading the dance at times and jungwon was hypnotized by your movements (which let’s be honest, he totally was)

By the last chorus, you and your boyfriend were in full contact

Jungwon’s hands had pulled you in closely, your hands resting on his chest with his low on your back

There was a moment where you just sensually gazed into to each other’s eyes, caressing each other while you mouthed the words to the song

Jungwon leaned in closing his eyes, fully preparing to kiss you, but you teasingly turned your head back toward the camera right as your lips were about to meet, giving a flirtatious wink and smile

The turn caused jungwon’s lips to brush your neck, but the way it was captured by the camera made it hard to tell if he actually made contact with your skin

The rest of the dance consisted of one or both of you having your hands on the other without a break, never breaking the connection 

There was even a part where you had your hand on your boyfriend’s face and he followed your movement, seemingly hypnotized by your touch

Jungwon’s hands quickly found their place on your hips shortly after

The dance finished with two posing- you in front of him, reaching behind to place your hand on the back of his neck, as he placed his hands on your hips

Won gently rubbed your hip as he waited for the director to call cut, ad when they did he collapsed against you, fully wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his face into your neck

(That cute moment was captured and posted on your instagram story after the official video dropped)

Speaking of social media…

The thing is, both you and your boyfriend are chaotic and slightly evil, so the second the video dropped y’all were refreshing twitter to see people’s reactions

✪ ‘Oh okay so they’re a thing’ ✪ ‘Yang Jungwon and L/n Y/n… WHAT IS THIS????’ ✪ ‘So like- do y’all need a third or…’ ✪ ‘HIS LIPS WERE LITERALLY ON HER NECK I’M NOT CRAZY’ ✪ ‘Need whatever they’ve got goin on real bad’ ✪ ‘Jungwon heard the lyrics “your two hands on me at all times” and took that shit literally wow’ ✪ ‘Y/n turning to look at the camera right as won is about to kiss her… GIRL MOVE IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA KISS THAT BOY’ ✪ ‘The hand placement, oh i’m so fucked’ ✪ ‘L/n Y/n the woman you are…’ ✪ ‘The way Jungwon’s movements get obviously more desperate at the end of the choreography when Y/n has her hands on his face… WALK HIM LIKE A DOG MAMA😛’

You and Jungwon were giggling and saving posts were a good two hours

Nishimura Riki:

It wasn’t unusual for you and ni-ki to hang out in a practice room and just jam, coming up with random choreography combinations for fun

It also wasn’t a secret that the two of you knew each other and hung out, but most just assumed you were friends since you had also hung out with other members of enhypen before 

However neither of you had ever posted anything together aside from mayne a couple of tik toks

So it came as a shock to his fans (and yours) when Ni-Ki went live, only for everyone to see him cozied up in one of hybe’s practice rooms with you 

The live started with the two of you laying on the floor with the phone propped up against the mirror wall at the front of the room, just chatting and giggling over random stuff (losers in love)

In fact Riki was so chatty that fans were even starting to comment on it

‘The only time Riki has stopped giggling or yapping has been to listen intently to y/n..’

‘I swear these two are so chatty together, what's going on??’

Eventually you guys started getting antsy and decided to turn on some music and jam again

It was just some ciphering back and forth for a while until “pour up” by DEAN came on and you froze and made eye contact

“Should we do it?” Ni-Ki asked in regard to the choreography the two of you had come up with to the song earlier that week

“I mean… why not?” you shrugged with a mischievous smile

“It’s a little… risky- don’t you think?” he giggled while unconsciously moving closer to you, but you just giggled in return before starting the choreography while holding eye contact

He laughed a bit in shock, watching you dance for a few more seconds before joining in

By the time the chorus arrived the two of you were locked in, facing forward again toward the camera

It seemed like pretty tame choreography at first with a slightly sensual 

Until the second verse came

You and Riki started crossing paths and interacting more within the choreography, showing off just how much chemistry you have together as dance partners

There were plenty of little moments with little flirtatious touches here and there but the connection was on full display by the last few seconds of the song, with Riki’s arm draped casually around your waist as the two of you swayed side to side

You pretended to walk off as the song ended, still feeling the vibe, but as soon as the next song started playing you screamed dramatically and fell to floor in a heap of embarrassment, leaving your boyfriend to laugh at you from behind

Ni-Ki walked past you back to the phone to check the comments and he noticed the viewer count has tripled since before you started dancing

✪ ‘They way they just casually match each others vibe like it’s nothing’ ✪ ‘So can we all agree we need more Y/n and Riki dance content??’ ✪ ‘I would 100% be asking “what are we?” after this…' ✪ ‘Y/n falling to the ground and screaming after, she’s so real’ ✪ ‘OMG LOOK AT HOW RED THEY ARE NOW AWWWW BABIES’

Neither of you could look at each other without giggling for the rest of the live

notes: hey y'all... i'm back (kinda)

[runningwithscizzorz]

(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references

(2) Understand what you want to break and how

(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can

(4) It's going to look really bad for a while

(5) Have fun with it!

(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.

-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.

(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!

(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.

(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.

(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY

[ilovecatfr]

HOW TO CHANNEL SOMEONE

{or channel memories from your dr/people/higher self}

Channeling is connecting with someone’s energy or consciousness, allowing you to receive memories, messages, or answers.

There's a lot of ways to channel someone but I'm going to go through couple of them;

Methods: meditation and visualization/automatic writing/channeling through dreams/using a necklace or a pendulum

{a little tip}

Relax and trust the process. Often, memories and answers will come to you naturally when you're not actively trying to force them. Pay attention to sudden thoughts, feelings, or deja vu moments—they might be glimpses from your DR. Be patient.

1. MEDITATION AND VISUALIZATION

Sit or lie down in a quiet space.

Close your eyes and visualize any place you want.

Picture the person from your DR you want to connect with. Imagine their presence vividly, including their voice, appearance, and energy. Or if you want to channel your higher self you can simple ask.

In your mind or outloud, ask them to share a memory or whatever you want.

2. AUTOMATIC WRITING

Grab a pen and notebook or you can use your phone/anything you can write on.

Quiet your mind and think of the person you want to channel.

Set the intention: “I invite [Name] to share their memories with me/answer my questions”

Begin writing whatever comes to mind, without overthinking.

3. CHANNELING THROUGH DREAMS

Before bed, set the intention to meet the person in your dreams and ask for whatever you want.

Visualize the person clearly as you fall asleep, focusing on their energy and presence. Or ask a question for specific person/higher self.

{tip; set the intention to remember the dream vividly or keep something you can write it in as soon as you wake up}

4. CHANNELING WITH NECKLACE OR PENDULUM

{remember: necklace must have some kind of pendant on it}

Cleanse the tool: Run it under water, pass it through incense smoke, or visualize white light surrounding it {OPTIONAL}

Sit in a quiet space and relax. Set your intention: Hold the necklace or pendulum and say, “I call [Name] to connect with me”

Determined the movements example: back and fourth=yes. Side to side=no. Circle= maybe.

{you can write it on a paper and put it under it as your channel}

Begin channeling, and if you want to make sure it your person ask questions they will know to answer to.

You can even put a keyboard under it and have it move towards the letters as it makes a sentence.

At the end you can say goodbye.

LITTLE ADD: HOW I PERSONALLY CHANNEL AND CONNECT TO PEOPLE FROM MY DR EVERYDAY

{tips; you can make sure the pendant on your necklace is heavy enough/be in a room with no wind/ put your elbows on a hard surface as you do this to keep your hand steady/trust that connection will guide your hand.}

SOME AFFIRMATIONS YOU CAN SAY:

SAFETY

1. My boundaries are strong, and only safe connections are allowed in my space.

2. The universe (God or whoever you believe in) supports and protects me at all times.

3. Only energies that align with my highest good can reach me.

4. I am grounded, centered, and completely safe.

CHANNELLING

1. I easily connect with [Name] from and receive.

2. I am open to communication with [Name], and it flows effortlessly.

3. I am fully aligned with [Name] and those within it.

4. Memories from my DR flow to me naturally and effortlessly.

Focus on the people you want; their energy, your relationship, scenarios... and basically relax and set the intention or ask them to be present in your cr by sending your messages/signs or whatever you want. I keep this connection open and they are welcomed every day to send me messages.

A little warning:

Don't let this take over your shifting journey; remember shifting and experiencing it first hand is much better then just having memories or talking to people from your dr. Yes this can be great motivation but don't let it take over.

This is not to scare you but to warn you and remind you of what can you really have:)

<3

[agirlwithglam]

how to live a luckier life! ✧˖°

hiii! in this post i will be giving all my advice as to how i live a lucky life everyday & how to have LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME! everything that happens to me is so lucky it sometimes astounds me! this mini guide will include everything from mindset shifts, tips, and affirmations! <3 so grab a snack, a yummy beverage and get cozy!!

♡ a bit about me personally, i truly believe that i live an extremely lucky life. i dont live in a mansion, i don't own super rich stuff, i do actually feel left out with some friends, and i'm an extremely sensitive person so you can imagine how that must be. i'm just your average girl who goes to school, comes home, eats, etc. so PLEASE dont be fooled into thinking that you always need more or a certain thing or status, whatever it may be, to live a lucky life. i know its confusing, but just hear me out.

♡ MINDSET SHIFTS!

you get to choose what you define as "unlucky". this was THE BIGGEST thing that made me view myself as super lucky!! you actually get to CHOOSE that when something happens to you, do you choose to view it in a way where it could only ever be bad for you, or are you willing to see it as maybe you were divinely protected from something you had no idea about ... which leads me to my next point,

things happen FOR you, not TO you. of course, as i said earlier you can choose to see things in a lens like "oh of course that happened, the universe is out to get me" OR you can choose to see it as "that may have looked like it sucked but thank you god/ universe for protecting me and guiding me!! i may not know why that happened, but i trust that god/ universe has planned everything only for my greater good." because honey trust me, luck is all up there, in your mind. the exact same thing could happen to 2 people but its just their mindset and thinking process that will determine the quality of their life.

look at all that you do have!! GRATITUDE!! i *do not care* if this is a cliche or whatever BUT YOU BETTER LISTEN UP. (ahem, sorry.) but as i said at the top, gratitude will save you. yes, at first it will seem boring or useless or maybe even hard but once you start to train your brain focusing more on what you do have, the good, the happiness in your life, the more easily it will go there.

all about perspective. you may be complaining about trivial things right now like not winning in a game or not being where you want to be in life, but you have a roof over your head, an education, a family, a device, clean clothes, clean water & food. you’re already more fortunate than a lot of the population. so learn to be grateful with what you have right now because you never know if it will be taken away.

start training your brain to see things in a more positive light. it may not come so easily to you in the beginning, but the more you start realising and stopping yourself in the spiral of the lack mindset, and actually walk yourself through the whole process of changing your perspective on this thing, the more it will come naturally to you!

♡ BARBIE & NOVA:

just to clear everything up a bit, lets meet Barbie and Nova and see how they react to the same situation happening to them.

SITUATION 1: missing the bus oh no! Barbie and Nova had stumbled out their house and sprinted towards the bus but unfortunately, it had already left.

how Nova reacts: ugh, of course this happened! nothing ever good happens to me anyway. i swear the universe is actually like out to get me or something. i just wish i could get lucky just this once!

how Barbie reacts: dang it that sucks! buuutt.... what if i just got saved by a terrible accident? or what if when i went on that bus i would have seen or heard something that would make me feel even worse than how this feels right now? oh my, thank you god for protecting me!! i can't believe i was saved like that.

SITUATION 2: getting a high grade in class they just got their results back from a recent science test and they both got 98% !

how Nova reacts: YES!! FINALLY i get something right! finally i am lucky! oops i hope i don't jinx it

how Barbie reacts: omg yay!! im so happy! i really did deserve that, i worked really hard. thank you god!

do you see how no matter what the situation may be, Barbie is always grateful. she always thanks god/ the universe. on the other hand, Nova instead still believes that she was born unlucky so everything she thinks operates from that sort of place!

♡ PRACTICAL TIPS

focus on how you use your energy throughout the day. desperation reeks and will push any manifestations away. let go and let life. when you know you are a good and pure person who will put in the work and have faith and trust that everything will work out in the end, thats all you need to do

everyday, start consciously thinking of or writing down 3 things you’re grateful for. this is certainly a skill that you must practice frequently and once you do being grateful will come to you naturally!

‘proof portfolio’ when something happens to you that is lucky, write it down! (i write it down in my notes app) doesn’t matter if it’s really small or big, write it down so that when you don’t feel lucky you can look to this as proof otherwise!

♡ AFFIRMATIONS!

affirmations a great for drilling something into your mind to remind you that you already have everything you desire!! i recommend writing it down, repeating these in front of a mirror or even just to yourself but when you say it, say it with meaning. say it as if you’re actually speaking it into existence!

everything happens in my favour

everything happens for my greater good

i am so lucky

the universe works to give me the best life

i always attract lucky experiences

i attract opportunities

luck flows to me effortlessly

i am so grateful for everything i have

i always receive blessings

my life is filled with endless blessings

i am a magnet for miracles and joy

i trust that god has my back

god/ the universe wants to see me succeed!

my life is so lucky!!

everything i want flows to me effortlessly!

i glow from the inside out

i always attract abundance

i vibrate at a high frequency

[gaywineauntsstuff]

My favorite thing about reading Dicks thought process vs literally how everyone else views him.

This is the least exaggerated version of this I will willing produce.

-older gen JL: thinks wing is dependable, charming, intelligent and a great leader, impressed how much he’s grown and how well he’s done in the hero world

Heroes his age: the golden standard that everyone tries to match up to and fails at one point in their sidekick-hood before accepting yeah I’m not Dick Grayson and having him lead them in a hero team. The defacto person to look towards in a crisis situation, manages tasks efficiently and doesn’t let personal details affect him. He’s cool, calm and collected while still being the most empathetic man on the planet.

Heroes younger than him: straight up awe. if the heroes who saw his awkward teenage phase, discowing and are privy to his love life info. How do you think people who just saw ‘Mr perfect’ without any of the painful growth to get there and since about 9 billion things have happened since Dick was Robin people have too much to talk about to ever bring it up. I see their thought processes going something like this

-oh my god is that nightwing like THE nightwing like Robins big brother nightwing like the leader of the titans nightwing is he looking at me oh my god he smiled at me wtf wtf wtf until they hyperventilate

(Source how Kow talks about dick Grayson like 99% of the time- ignore all Dan Dido works )

Batkids: awe with a side of insecurity bc that’s the gold standard and how tf are you supposed to get there. Even if you’re an amazing fighter like Cass, the leadership skills, ability to talk people down, make more allies than enemies, infiltrate, lie, cheat, steal, put on a million different masks and come out whole.

How does he know what he’s doing? How does he look so calm and collected when the worlds ending

Batman and Superman (remember when they co-parented in the 60s yeah me neither): like uncomfortable amounts of pride like the type of pride that feels too big for your chest as well as implicit trust.

For B specifically Dick is his crowing achievement as Batman

VS

Dick Grayson at any given moment pre Tom Taylor run: everything is my fault, I suck at everything, I’m never good enough to stop bad things from happening to the people I love it’s all my fault and I will never be able to stop it. My life is an accidental trolly problem except I didn’t know it when I started, I didn’t mean to press any levers I didn’t know what I was doing I am a burden who must make himself useful as an apology.

Like Dick is in a constant spiral of how much he hates his limits and how he just isn’t ever going to be strong,fast,smart or good enough while everyone is staring at him with heart eyes like omg it’s nightwing <3

[joemama-2]

a dead end | chap. 5

༺♰༻ gojo x fem reader

𓉸♱𓉸 synopsis: you were a star under stadium lights, gojo satoru a savior in sterile halls. now, the world rots, and survival is your only stage. amid the relentless dead and the horrors of the living, an unsteady bond forms—but trust is as fragile as life itself. in the shadows of ruin, love and death walk hand in hand. which will claim you first?

༺♰༻ wc: 10.5k

༺♰༻ tags/warnings: death, angst, violence, smut, cannibalism, murder, blood, gore, zombie apocalypse, crazy people, reader is a little bitchy at first, character development, torture, guns, weapons, alcohol, drugs, medical talk here and there, research talk, mentions of a leaked sextape, bullying, betrayal, lying, love, surgeon! satoru, cheerleader! reader, small age gap

༺♰༻ series masterlist < previous chapter < next chapter

“Y/N?”

The sound of your name being called causes you to pause, your face contorting into confusion. Slowly, you turn your head over your shoulder. A blink. Then another. Until your body fully turns to face the new incomer. 

“Mr. Hayashi?”

“Oh, oh, oh my god. It’s you. It’s really you.” The older man laughs out dryly, relief in his tone. His blue, plaid shirt looks wrinkled, with tears at the bottom. He’s no longer wearing the glasses you’ve become so accustomed to seeing him with. Greying hair tousled as if he just went through some shit. There’s sweat beading at his forehead that he wipes away with the back of his palm, stepping closer. 

From your peripheral vision, Satoru takes a small step forward, body stiffening. 

Mr. Hayashi finally notices him, shakily holding his hands up. “I—I mean no trouble. I swear.”

Satoru doesn’t look at him, instead glancing at you. “Who’s this?”

“He’s the building manager.” You reply, glancing between the two men. Your eyes narrow slightly at Mr. Hayashi’s right hand, the sight of blood staining his fingertips. He hides it behind his back before you can determine whether it’s his blood or not. “What happened?”

“What didn’t?” He huffs a dry chortle out, shaking his head as he looks down at his feet. “It was just supposed to be a normal day, check in on things. But then…then people started getting weird, someone ran into the lobby, then another person, then another, and another. There was…so much…blood. I-I panicked. I ran up here and went looking for you, searched your apartment, but you weren’t there. I thought the worst.”

Searched your apartment? Is that why it was left open? The thought of your building manager searching for you first instead of getting to his own safety fills you with an uncomfortable tension, unsure if you should be flattered or disturbed. Satoru must have the same thought process as you, the pair of you sharing a silent, quick glance at one another. “And you’ve just been…hiding up here?”

Mr. Hayashi nods. “I have. Haven’t been down there in hours. H-How is it?”

“Not good,” Satoru replies. 

Mr. Hayashi’s face crumples at Satoru’s bluntness, the lines on his face deepening with fear and despair. He sways slightly on his feet, as if just hearing the words drains the last bit of strength from his body. You catch yourself instinctively stepping forward, your body betraying the compassion clawing its way up your throat, but you stop yourself short. You don’t know what this man has seen, what he’s done, or what he’s willing to do to survive.

You can’t afford to trust anyone right now. You barely trust this white-haired fool. 

Mr. Hayashi looks up at you, almost pleading. “You’re—you’re leaving, right? You’re getting out of here?”

You hesitate. Satoru doesn’t. “Yeah, we are.”

There’s an unbearable pause. Mr. Hayashi wrings his hands together like a desperate man on the brink of begging. “Please,” he rasps, voice cracking. “Please take me with you.”

Your mouth opens, but no sound comes out. Your mind flashes back to yesterday—the blood, the screams, the chaos—and your stomach twists. Taking him with you means another possible liability. Another person to watch over. Another person slowing you down when speed could mean the difference between life and death. Your gaze flicks instinctively to Satoru, who’s watching Mr. Hayashi with a cool, unreadable expression.

“No,” Satoru says flatly.

It hits the air like a gunshot. Mr. Hayashi visibly flinches, shoulders collapsing inward like he’s been physically struck.

“W-Why not? I won’t—I won’t be a burden. I can help! I know the building, I know the streets around here. Please, please, you have to—!”

Satoru’s jaw ticks. He shifts his body subtly, like he’s positioning himself between you and the older man. “No offense, old man, but this isn’t charity work. It’s survival. We barely got enough supplies for two.” His voice is steely, sharp, and final.

But then Mr. Hayashi turns his pleading gaze back to you. You. Not Satoru.

“Y/N, please. I know you. I watched you blossom in this building. I—” his voice cracks again, and this time it sounds real, not manipulative. “Please don’t leave me here.”

The sound of your name on his tongue, so full of desperate hope, makes your heart lurch painfully against your ribs.

You clench your fists tight, nails digging into your palms. The logical part of your brain screams at you to leave him. You owe him nothing. The world is burning, and you can’t carry everyone on your back. But the guilt is a gnawing, bitter thing that eats at your insides. It’s been eating at you. You peer at Satoru again, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Your chest rises and falls in slow, steady breaths, your heart pounding like war drums against your ribs.

Save him and risk everything?

Or leave him and save yourself?

Either way, you know that whatever you choose, it’s another weight you’ll have to carry. Forever.

The hallway is unbearably still, the low hum of whatever the fuck in the distance the only reminder that you don’t have all the time in the world to decide. Mr. Hayashi stumbles once more, hand reaching out to steady himself against the wall. Your body moves without thinking, helping catch his body. 

“Are you hurt?” You ask, eyes roving over him.

“I—y-yes…” he coughs out. 

“Where are you hurt? He’s a doctor, he can help you before we move.”

“Y/N—”

“He’s hurt.” You reiterate, fixing Satoru with a steely gaze. “We need to help him.”

“It was already a risk coming here in the first place. We didn’t agree to bring along stragglers.”

“You’re a doctor.”

“Exactly, not stupid.”

You scoff in disbelief, eyes narrowing at him. “You’re a shitty human being.” Without waiting for another response from him, you assist in lying Mr. Hayashi on his back on the floor. Hands hovering over his body, unsure of where to even start. 

Satoru watches you with that same maddening calm, his jaw locked tight and the muscle in his cheek twitching. You can feel his frustration radiating behind you, but you don’t care. You’re too far gone now. You’ve already made the choice—and even if it was a stupid one, it’s yours to live with. 

“Shitty human being,” he mutters, running a hand down his face as he kneels beside you, eyeing Mr. Hayashi’s form with clinical detachment. “You’re really pulling the moral card right now? You don’t even know what kind of mess we’re walking into. This guy slows us down, we die. You get that, right?”

You ignore him, fingers brushing over Mr. Hayashi’s side, where the blood has bloomed the darkest. You’re no expert, but there’s a tear along the hem of his shirt and dried blood crusting at his ribs. A puncture wound, maybe. Definitely not fresh.

“He’s already lost blood,” you say, voice tight. “We won’t get far if we don’t stabilize him.”

“Oh, great. So we’re not only babysitting, we’re dragging around a half-dead man.” Satoru’s tone is biting, but his hands move with practiced ease. He peels back the fabric, revealing the wound more clearly. “Knife. Small blade. Didn’t hit anything fatal, but if it gets infected, he’s done.”

Mr. Hayashi winces under the touch, but doesn’t cry out. His breathing is shallow and ragged, and the sweat clinging to his temples is fresh. “It—it was someone from the second floor. I think. I tried to stop him, but he just—he just looked at me. Didn’t even speak. Like he wasn’t there.”

You and Satoru exchange another glance. No one says the word. Not yet. But it’s there.

Infected.

“They’re most likely changing faster,” Satoru mutters, eyes flicking up to you. “If he got cut by someone like that—”

“There’s no bite,” you say sharply. “It’s a cut. Nothing else.”

“You sure you wanna bet your life on that?”

You flinch. Not because you doubt yourself, but because the truth is, you don’t know. You can’t know. Not yet.

“Wrap him up,” you say, voice hard. “Give him a chance. You don’t get to decide who lives or dies.”

Satoru’s silence feels like a judgment in itself, but he doesn’t argue again. Instead, he digs into his bag, pulling out gauze and disinfectant like a man resigned to the worst. The scent of antiseptic fills the air, sharp and stinging as he works quickly, hands steady even when the rest of him vibrates with tension. “You’re lucky she’s got a heart,” he tells Mr. Hayashi, not looking up. “Most people don’t anymore.”

Mr. Hayashi gives you a weak, grateful look. “Thank you. I won’t forget this.”

You don’t reply. You’re already trying to picture what the next few hours will look like—with him in tow, with Satoru seething at your side, with the threat of another attack hanging over your heads like a noose.

You’ll carry the weight. But you’ll be damned if you let someone die in front of you again without trying first.

Still crouched by Mr. Hayashi’s side, you glance at Satoru, who’s repacking his supplies with a clipped kind of efficiency.

“Ready?” you ask quietly.

He exhales through his nose. “No. But let’s go anyway.”

You help Mr. Hayashi to his feet, his weight leaning against you heavily. Your knees buckle slightly, but you steady yourself, anchoring him with both arms. You can feel Satoru watching again, quiet and unreadable. Then, without another word, the three of you move toward the stairwell, the echo of your footsteps swallowed by the quiet roar of a world that’s already started falling apart.

You’re not sure what comes next. But you’ve already made your choice.

You’ll live with it.

“You can walk, right?” You ask, fixing his arm around your shoulder. 

“No choice.” He grunts out, face scrunched as he begins the descent down. 

It’s hard helping a man twice your size down the stairs, especially when there’s someone else who can assist. But you don’t complain, it was your choice to bring him along, it’s your responsibility to help keep him alive. It’s quiet, only the quiet grunts from Mr. Hayashi filling the air. 

Satoru trails behind the two of you, his footsteps light and deliberate, eyes darting around. You don’t have to look back to feel his silent disapproval—it clings to the air like static. But he says nothing, and in this silence, the weight of your decision settles deeper into your bones. Each step down feels like a negotiation. Mr. Hayashi leans heavier into you the lower you get, and your shoulder aches from the strain, but you grit your teeth and keep going. You feel his breath hitch with every jolt, but he doesn’t complain either. Maybe he knows he’s on borrowed time.

“We’ll need to stop soon,” Satoru murmurs eventually. “You’re slowing down.”

“I’m fine,” you snap, sharper than you mean to be. You’re not. But it doesn’t matter.

“No, you’re not,” he replies, voice cool but not unkind. “You’re shaking.”

Your legs are trembling, but you refuse to acknowledge it. Not when Mr. Hayashi’s still bleeding. Not when the building is too quiet. Not when you know what’s waiting beyond the front doors. Not when you’re still multiple floors up from the ground. 

You swallow hard. “I said I’m fine.”

Satoru clicks his tongue in annoyance, but lets it go. For now.

The three of you descend another flight. The emergency lights flicker above, casting the stairwell in an eerie, reddish glow. Mr. Hayashi’s breathing grows more labored with each step. Sweat soaks through his shirt, his limp heavier, and your guilt rises all over again.

You hear it then—something—a metallic rattle from below. A soft, scraping sound. Like nails dragging across concrete.

Satoru halts instantly.

You freeze, too.

Mr. Hayashi’s breath catches.

Satoru’s voice drops to a whisper. “Stay quiet.” Then, slowly, carefully, he starts to descend alone, his hand drifting toward the blade strapped to his person.

You tighten your grip on Mr. Hayashi. Because whatever’s down there… you know it’s not human.

You hold your breath, watching Satoru’s back as he goes down a few more steps, tilting his head down over the railing over the stairs to peer at the floors below. He says nothing for a few seconds, watching the darkness in preparation for any shadows that may pop out of nowhere. He then looks back at you, motioning silently with his head. You get the message, following after him even slower than before. 

“Almost there.” You whisper to Mr. Hayashi, who offers nothing more than a simple, brief nod. You’re not really almost there, but the reassurance would probably do him well. However, he’s probably too focused on not bleeding out, just like you’re too focused on not becoming something’s next meal. 

The stairwell creaks underfoot, the faint echo of your steps like warning bells in the dead stillness. The tension in your body is unbearable, every nerve pulled taut. You descend behind Satoru one slow, careful step at a time, Mr. Hayashi’s weight dragging your pace down even further. You can hear the slick sound of his blood soaking into his pant leg, the faint hiss of his breath through clenched teeth.

Satoru moves ahead like a shadow, silent and sharp. His blade is already in hand now, glinting faintly under the red emergency light. His posture screams readiness—knees slightly bent, shoulders relaxed but alert, eyes scanning the darkness like a predator.

Another faint noise. This time closer.

You freeze, your fingers tightening around Mr. Hayashi’s arm. His grip on your shoulder turns into a desperate claw, breath hitching audibly.

Then—

A soft, wet shuffle. Not from you. Not from Satoru.

Something else is here.

Satoru holds up a hand, palm flat. Stop.

You do.

He shifts down another step, slow, careful. A bead of sweat trails down your neck. Mr. Hayashi is trembling now, his legs barely holding. You can feel it in how he leans harder into you.

Satoru rounds the corner of the last flight and—

He halts.

You can’t see what he’s looking at. But his breath leaves his lungs a little too slowly.

His voice is low, cold:

“…It’s feeding.”

He turns back up to you, gaze deadly serious.

“Whatever you do, don’t make a sound.”

Every joint in your body is trembling even faster than when you drank two 5-Hour Energies, coupled with a Red Bull. Bile threatens to rise in your throat, and you swallow it back down with a hard gulp. The word feeding scares you, sets off every fight-or-flight response in your soul. Except, all you want to do is run. Just don’t look, don’t look, don’t look. Don’t make a sound, not a single sound. 

You repeat this mantra in your head, taking a tiny step one by one behind Satoru. The wet sound of this creature’s feast is new, one that you may never be able to erase from your mind. Biting hard on your lip to hold back a quivering breath, holding back a hot set of tears that pool in your eyes. 

You barely even dare to continue breathing. Each movement feels like you’re dragging your body through quicksand, the air around you so thick with terror it’s nearly suffocating. You can’t spare Mr. Hayashi a glance—not when you’re certain that even the smallest slip-up could end in blood.

Ahead, Satoru is already moving, slow but purposeful. His blade stays low, angled behind his leg to hide the reflection. He doesn’t look back to ensure you’re not too far behind, but you know he’s listening—every fiber of him tuned to you and the creature just feet away.

Another wet, slurping noise reaches your ears, and your stomach flips violently. You squeeze your eyes shut for half a second, just to ground yourself, just to breathe without falling apart.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Your foot accidentally brushes against a loose piece of debris.

A tiny clatter.

Your heart stops.

The feeding noises halt instantly.

Silence.

The most horrifying kind of silence.

You can hear the thick drip of blood onto the floor now, slow and steady. You can hear Mr. Hayashi’s ragged breathing. You can hear the low rumble—a barely audible warning sound, like a wolf baring its teeth.

And then—

The sound of something sniffing. Wet, heavy, greedy.

It knows you’re here.

Satoru slowly raises his free hand, a single finger pressed firmly to his lips.

Don’t. Move.

You nod shakily, looking to your left to communicate the same message with Mr. Hayashi. His eyelids droop lower by the second, which only intensifies your internal panicking. Even in the darkened setting, you can see the way his skin pales, his responses growing minimal by the second. You try to nudge him with your shoulder, which only causes him to groan lightly. 

The world freezes. It feels like an eternity that you three have stayed frozen in place, ears perked up for the slightest noise or movement. Satoru’s foot hovers above the step below, just barely pressing down on it. Once again, you mirror his actions, attempting to get Mr. Hayashi to use whatever will he has left to stay quiet and follow. 

However, the movement only makes him grunt again. And you’ve run out of chances. 

Before you can even react, the sound of snarling and footsteps rushing toward your small group is all that encapsulates your senses. You don’t even know if it’s coming from right next to you, running up, or down; all you know is Satoru is clashing with the creature with his knife. 

The suddenness makes you misstep, and you go stumbling down the remaining steps with Mr. Hayashi in tow. Your bodies hit the wall with a big thud and a sharp grunt, the back of your head colliding into the wall. 

Sharp ringing bounces throughout your skull. 

The pain is immediate and blinding, shooting down your spine like a bolt of lightning. The world spins wildly around you, warping and blurring into a sickening swirl of shadows and noise. You blink hard, trying to clear your vision, trying to think, but everything feels distant, like you’re floating outside your own body.

Through the haze, you hear it—the wet, ugly sound of a struggle, the growls and snarls of the creature, the sharp, desperate grunts of Satoru fighting for both your lives. You try to push yourself up, but Mr. Hayashi’s weight pins you down, leaving you vulnerable, trapped. You can feel him breathing—shallow, labored—as he struggles to stay conscious. Or maybe that’s you. You can’t tell anymore.

Somewhere nearby, Satoru curses under his breath, a sound raw and vicious, followed by the crack of something—bone? Blade? Who knows. 

You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek, tasting blood, forcing yourself back to focus. Move. Move now or die. With a broken gasp, you shove Mr. Hayashi off you as gently as you can, feeling the sickening warmth of blood coating his side, coating your hands. You stagger to your knees, your body screaming in protest.

Your blurred gaze locks onto Satoru—he’s grappling the creature, his knife embedded deep in its side, but it’s not going down without a fight. Its grotesque, twitching body snaps and thrashes like a rabid animal.

You don’t think. You just move.

Hand fumbling for anything, you grab a broken piece of wood lying nearby. A shard of someone’s ruined life. Gripping it tight, you launch yourself toward the creature’s exposed back.

You won’t be useless. You won’t die here.

With every ounce of strength you have left, you drive the shard downward, right onto the creature’s head. 

The contact is a direct hit, blood sloshing and splurting from the open wound. The wood piece is stuck in place from the hit, allowing Satoru to hastily remove his knife from its side. You pull back harshly, the wood lifting. Again, you swing down. The wood splits the creature's head in two. Letting go, it goes down to its knees, falling down the stairs, and next to Mr. Hayashi’s body. 

There’s only a momentary spout of silence from the scene that just erupted before it all spreads like wildfire.

 Groans, grunts, creaking, and clicking noises. 

Satoru grabs your arm, hoisting you along as you practically float down the stairs. 

“Mr. Hayashi!” You call out. 

“We have no time!” Satoru barks out. 

Your heart fractures at the words, every instinct screaming at you to turn back, to help him, but Satoru’s grip is iron around your wrist, dragging you forward. You whip your head around, catching one last glimpse of Mr. Hayashi’s crumpled figure as he weakly tries to reach out, his mouth moving soundlessly.

You choke back a sob, the horror of abandoning yet another person sinking into your bones, burning hotter than the blood pounding in your ears.

Behind you, the sounds swell—more footsteps, more hungry, twisted things stirred from the darkness by the scent of blood and the promise of a fresh kill. The air feels heavier, thicker, suffocating with the weight of what you’ve left behind.

You stumble, but Satoru doesn’t let go, half-carrying, half-dragging you through the building’s rotting stairwells. Every turn feels endless, every second you stay in this place, tightening the noose around your neck. Your throat burns, and you realize you’re muttering under your breath again—

“Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back.”

Satoru’s voice cuts through the panic like a blade. “Focus. Move your damn feet or we’re dead.”

And somehow, you do.

You both scramble down the rest of the stairs, uncaring of the amount of sound you’re making, never looking back. You both push open the door to the lobby, racing out the way you came in. The monsters—creatures—zombies—whatever the hell they are—chase you both with a horrifying amount of speed. 

The light from outside almost blinds you, but nonetheless, you run and run back to his parked car. He unlocks it from a distance with his key fob, and you two hurry in, closing the doors in a slammed rush. As soon as you do, the creatures slam into the windows, giving you front row seats to their red, frenzied eyes. Their wide mouths showcase the teeth that tear through flesh. Banging with their fists and heads, anything to get through the barriers. 

Satoru starts the car, reversing back. The car thumps up as if it rode over something—a body, most likely. 

You don’t even have the strength to react, only squeezing your eyes shut as the tires crunch over whatever is beneath.

The car swerves wildly for a moment, tires screeching against the pavement, before Satoru regains control, flooring it down the cracked asphalt of the abandoned street. The creatures chase after you, some so fast they nearly keep up, slamming their fists against the back windows in a desperate, clawing frenzy.

Your entire body trembles, hands gripping the seat so hard your knuckles turn white.

“Faster, Satoru!” you gasp, voice raw with fear.

“I know!” he growls back, slamming his foot harder on the gas pedal. The car jolts forward, the engine whining in protest.

One by one, they fall behind, until finally—finally—they’re no more than small figures in the rearview mirror, swallowed by the darkness you barely escaped. Breathing heavily, you sag against the seat, chest heaving as you stare at the cracked dashboard, too exhausted to even cry.

Satoru exhales sharply next to you, one hand gripping the wheel, the other slamming the car door lock button again and again, as if it’ll somehow keep the horror at bay. For a long moment, neither of you says anything. Just breathing. Just surviving.

Goosebumps run through the surface of your body, the back of your head feeling tingly from where you knocked it before. You blink and blink, vision blurring then darkening before regaining it. 

You swallow thickly, willing yourself to stay conscious, to stay alert. But everything feels distant—the rumble of the car beneath you, the burning in your lungs, even Satoru’s tight, frantic grip on the wheel.

“Stay with me,” his voice slices through the haze, low and rough. His knuckles are white on the steering wheel, his gaze flickering over to you and then back to the road. “Don’t you dare pass out on me.”

You nod weakly, not trusting yourself to speak. Your tongue feels heavy, your mouth dry. Every blink feels slower than the last, the black edges of your vision creeping inward.

Satoru curses under his breath and takes a sharp turn onto another road, the tires skidding slightly. He spares another glance at you. “We’re almost there. Just a little longer, alright?”

You hum in response, a faint sound, barely audible. The words “almost there” circle your mind like a chant, the same lie you told Mr. Hayashi.

A lump forms in your throat. You didn’t save him.

You didn’t save him.

Your nails dig into the fabric of the seat, trying to ground yourself, trying to stay here—because if you start thinking about it, you’ll spiral, and if you spiral, you might not come back. You open your mouth to say something—to apologize, to scream, to cry—but all that comes out is a shaky whisper:

“…Where are we going?”

“Away from here,” is all he says before you inevitably lose yourself in the darkness. 

Slowly, your eyes blink open, the sunlight beaming down on you. It takes you a moment to realize you’re reclined in the passenger seat, the sun shining through the windshield. You don’t move, rooted in place for a good moment. You fear that even if you try to move, the onslaught of pain might shoot up your bones again. You’re trying to shake off the haze clouding your mind. The events of the day rush back in flashes—Satoru, the creatures, the blood, the chaos, Mr. Hayashi—and you wince at the memories. Every muscle in your body feels sore, as if you’ve been through hell, and you’re not sure whether your exhaustion is physical or emotional.

Turning your head slightly, you see Satoru in the driver’s seat, his profile tense and unreadable. The silence between you two hangs heavily, thick with everything unsaid. The car is parked somewhere safe, the sounds of the outside world muffled by the thick walls of your own thoughts. You don’t know how long you’ve been out, but judging by the angle of the sun, it’s probably late morning, close to lunchtime. 

Damn, you’ve lived a lot of lives already, haven’t you?

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you manage to push yourself upright, wincing as the soreness settles deeper into your body. Your throat feels raw, your head a pounding mess of memories and lingering dizziness. “Are we safe?” Your voice cracks, rough from lack of use, and you can hear the shakiness in it as you ask.

Satoru’s gaze shifts to you, his eyes dark and tired, but his tone is firm, reassuring in the way he answers. “For now.”

That’s good enough. 

He hands you a water bottle. “Drink this before you get even more dehydrated. You’ve probably got a concussion, by the way.”

Lazily, you take it, bringing it to your lips and chugging. 

The cool water flows down your throat, soothing the dry ache that’s settled there. It’s refreshing, but it only makes you more aware of how much your body is demanding from you, like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off once your adrenaline wears off. You hand the bottle back to him after draining it, your fingers tingling as you do. He takes it, but you can see the way his jaw clenches as he holds it, the tension in his posture never quite disappearing.

“Thanks,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Satoru nods, but he doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he looks out the windshield, his eyes scanning the world outside as if expecting something to jump out of the shadows at any moment. “How are you feeling now?”

“Like shit.” You mutter, lying back in your seat. Your head lolls to the side, looking out the window. It’s strange how such a nice day can be contradicted by a big blood bath. You almost want to laugh at the circumstances. 

“There’s a gas station not too far, we’ll head there.”

You hum lowly. “For your snacks.”

“And for you.”

You look at him from the corner of your eye. 

“There’s no exact cure for a concussion,” he sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “But we can get you a shitload of medication to ease it for a bit. Some food, Pedialyte, whatever.”

“Sounds like a five-star plan.”

“It is. Unless you want me to do brain surgery on you with a pocket-knife, though that’s not really my specialty.” He says, shoulders rolling back and forth. 

You hmph back, holding an arm to your stomach as he starts the car up again, slowly rolling forward in order not to upset your sensitive stomach. “Right. Well, only if you’re buying the treatment.”

His lip quirks up in a dry smirk. “Right, I am a gentleman, after all.”

The reassurance, even if laced with his sarcastic humor, eases some of the tightness in your chest. You don’t answer, just keep your gaze tilted out the window, watching the world go past—cracked streets, overgrown sidewalks, the occasional overturned car. It feels a little easier to breathe knowing you have even a scrap of a plan.

Even if everything else still feels like it’s dangling by a thread.

“You holding up okay?” he asks after a beat, his voice a little quieter, a little more careful this time. 

How do you even answer that?

You swallow, fingers tightening slightly in your lap.

“…I’m still here,” you finally say. It’s not much. But for now, it’s enough.

Satoru glances at you briefly, and in that small, flickering look, you can see it. The way he’s holding himself together just as desperately as you are. 

The gas station is only about a ten-minute drive. It’s done in complete silence, however. The streets look familiar to you, memories flashing through your twitcy mind. 

“Stop.”

He glances at you, eyebrow raised. “Wha—”

“Just…stop.” 

Sensing the tired, affirmative tone, he quickly checks around before coming to a stop. Putting the car in park, he turns his body towards you. You say nothing, reaching for the door handle before being promptly stopped. His hand is on your other arm. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He grills, confusion laced with a hint of frustration. “I said we’re going to the gas station.”

“I know, but…but I just—I need to check something.”

“Did you hit your head that damn hard?”

You shake your head weakly, prying his fingers off your arm. “I just need five minutes. Please.”

The way your voice cracks on the last word makes him freeze, jaw tightening. He stares at you for a long second, conflict flashing across his face. Finally, he exhales sharply through his nose, running a hand through his hair in agitation.

“Fine. But I’m coming with you.”

You nod, too drained to argue.

Without another word, you push open the car door, stepping out onto the uneven asphalt. Your legs feel like they’re made of glass, but you force yourself forward, heart pounding harder with every step you take.

The world feels eerily quiet around you—like even the wind is holding its breath. You spot the intersection up ahead, twisted metal still littering the street.

Your chest tightens unbearably.

There.

The wreckage.

The car.

Exactly where you left it.

You almost can’t breathe as you half-walk, half-stumble toward it, Satoru shadowing your steps, silent but close.

The crumpled remains of your old car sit wedged against a broken streetlight, glass scattered like diamonds around it. You hesitate, staring down at the overturned frame, your hands shaking so badly they feel like they might snap off. 

A little more down, another car stands still, frozen in time. 

“Sayo…” you whisper hoarsely, barely audible.

And then, slowly—terrified—you walk over, crouching down to look underneath.

You don’t know what you were expecting to see. In a perfect world, Sayo would have been there, lying unharmed. Or, you might’ve scared yourself even more by staring at her mangled body. Anything. 

What you didn’t expect to see was nothing, no body, no article of jewelry or clothing left, absolutely nothing. Just a puddle of dried blood that now stains the cement. 

Your breath catches in your throat, a hollow ache ripping through your chest. Nothing. Not even a scrap of her.

You sit there frozen, crouched in the dust and debris, staring at that dark, ugly stain where your teammate should’ve been. “She’s gone,” you whisper, more to yourself than anyone else.

Satoru stays a few steps behind you, his hands shoved into his jean pockets. He doesn’t say anything—doesn’t try to offer any empty condolences of what he can only assume is a personal loss for you.  Maybe he knows there’s nothing he could say that would fix this anyway. The world feels heavier now, the weight of it pressing down on your shoulders until your arms start to tremble. You bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, blinking furiously against the sting building in your eyes.

You stayed alive.

And Sayo didn’t even get a chance. No one did. 

For a long, breathless moment, you kneel there in the broken silence—until finally, a calloused hand presses against your back. “Come on,” Satoru says quietly. “It’s not safe out here.”

You don’t have the strength to argue. You just close your eyes for one long, aching second—then push yourself up, legs wobbling, and let him steer you back toward the car.

He doesn’t question the moment as you two sit back in your reserved seats, putting the key in the ignition before continuing the intended trek. Your brain runs miles a minute, thoughts swirling. Dread pools in your soul, head tilting against the headrest of the seat. Guilt once again creeps back in, raising a hand to your forehead to smooth out the crinkles of your strained expression. 

You find yourself wanting to laugh again out of pure spite. A worthless sense of living is all you can associate with. Just how a person like you—a person who’s committed more sins than you’d like to admit—is the one breathing instead of someone who actually deserves it is the ultimate question you have. Is it the world’s sick way of getting back at you? Of making you suffer through this guilt with no one to turn to? Well, at least someone you’d want to turn to. All your friends are more than likely dead. Your family. Everyone you could possibly love and care about…gone. 

Damn, this…this is really happening. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, nails digging into the palms of your hands until they sting. There’s no waking up from this. No undoing it. The soft rumble of the car beneath you feels detached, distant, like it’s carrying someone else away—someone who still had a future.

You don’t even notice the shallow, erratic way you’re breathing until Satoru’s voice cuts through the haze.

“Hey,” he says, a little gruff, but not unkind. “You’re not gonna do me much good if you pass out again.”

You huff out a hollow breath, not quite a laugh, not quite a sob. “I’m fine,” you lie.

He doesn’t call you on it. He knows better than to try.

Instead, the two of you drive on through the hollowed-out skeleton of what used to be a world worth living in, the gas station inching closer with every second. And all you can think about is how survival doesn’t feel like winning anymore.

It feels like punishment.

He stops right in front, pocketing the key and sighing. “You can stay in here, I’ll be quick.”

“I’m going.”

He gives you a sidelong look, jaw clenching in frustration. “You can barely stand,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“I’m not sitting in the car like some helpless idiot,” you snap back, already forcing the door open despite the deep ache rattling your bones.

Satoru huffs under his breath but doesn’t argue further. Maybe he figures it’s pointless. Or, he understands in a way that words don’t need to explain. Without another word, you both step out into the open, the stale, metallic scent of dried blood and burnt rubber clinging to the air like a curse.

He tightens the strap on his backpack and moves ahead of you, knife glinting at his side, his frame tense and alert. You trail behind him, fists clenching at your sides, ready for whatever the hell is waiting beyond the shattered doors of the gas station. He hands you a tote bag, the blue logo of the Tokyo Metropolitan Hospital printed on it. 

Inside the gas station is deserted. Items left scattered around by people who were probably in a rush to get the hell away from whatever occurred here. There are no working lights, and the sound of chips crunching beneath your feet as you venture further in. Satoru peeks over the other side of the counter to where the attendant would have normally been standing. His face doesn’t change, looking away and moving down the aisles. “Don’t go back there.”

You wouldn’t dare. You’ve seen enough death for today. 

The refrigerators call your name. 

The cool, stale air rushes out as you crack one open, the faint hum of whatever backup generator is left alive filling your ears. Most of the shelves are picked clean—only a few battered bottles of water, some questionable-looking sandwiches, and cans of energy drinks remain. You grab what you can with shaking hands, stuffing bottles into the tote. Your fingers graze over a pack of Pedialyte at the bottom shelf, and without thinking, you yank it too.

From behind you, you hear Satoru rummaging through shelves, the soft clinking of cans and pill bottles being shoved into his bag. No words are exchanged; none are needed. Survival has its own language. You spot a lone protein bar lodged behind a case of toppled soda cans. You lean down to reach for it—

—and the sudden slam of something heavy in the back room sends your heart dropping to your stomach.

Not again. 

Satoru moves quicker than you do, coming over to your aisle in practiced quietness. “Stay here. Don’t move, don’t speak. I’ll tell you when to come out.”

You nod, swallowing the lump of fear clawing up your throat. Your fingers tighten around the tote bag, your body instinctively shrinking smaller, pressing against the refrigerator door for whatever little cover it can give. Satoru slips forward, moving like a shadow between the shelves, his knife already drawn. Every step he takes is measured, deliberate, almost too calm for the circumstances. You watch him until he disappears around the corner, leaving you alone with nothing but the sound of your own blood pounding in your ears.

You grip the bag tighter, forcing yourself to breathe slowly and silently, straining your ears for anything—anything—that might tell you what’s lurking just beyond your sight.

Satoru’s eyes narrow, scanning his surroundings with calculation. He avoids any scattered items of food on the ground to avoid unnecessary noise, stalking closer and closer to the back room. The closer he gets, the heavier the air feels, thick with the metallic scent of blood and something sour—something wrong. His knife is steady in his hand, the grip sure and tight, knuckles paling slightly.

He stops just outside the swinging door leading into the back, angling his body to the side to listen. There’s a faint, irregular shuffling noise—too heavy to be a rat, too erratic to be anything human.

His jaw clenches.

One breath in. One breath out.

Without hesitating, Satoru kicks the door open with the side of his boot, blade raised, ready to strike whatever hell waits for him inside. He reacts quicker than expected. Spotting the shadows in his left periphery. He raises his knife, anticipating hearing the squishy sound of rotting flesh being forcefully stabbed in, one he’s growing more accustomed to. 

However, a dull banging is what resounds. 

A second passes. Then two. And then three. 

Satoru lowers his knife just slightly. Immediately, his eyes widen, lips parting in shock. 

“…Nanami?”

Lo and behold, his two former(?) coworkers stand before him, looking just as frenzied, but ready for a fight as he is. They’re still wearing their scrubs, though they lost their pristine color of blue. Tattered, stained, no longer representing what they were trained for. 

“Satoru?” Nanami breathes out, lowering the metal baseball bat in hand. He pushes his glasses up, hair tousled and breathing heavily. Standing beside him, slightly behind, is Takuma. Holding nothing in his shaky hands except for a broken glass of beer. 

Satoru almost wants to scoff in happy disbelief. Lip moving up into a half-smile. “You…you guys are alive?”

Nanami huffs out a dry, almost humorless laugh, the bat lowering fully to his side. “Barely,” he mutters, voice rough with exhaustion. His eyes flick briefly toward the door behind Satoru, where you still wait anxiously in the other aisle.

Takuma gives a nervous glance around the dim room, wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. “We thought you were dead, Satoru,” he says quietly, voice trembling slightly. “We tried going back to the hospital for you, but…”

Satoru tightens his grip on the knife instinctively, memories flashing behind his eyes. Blood. Screaming. Chaos.

“We can catch up later,” Nanami says, shaking his head as if to ward off the past. His gaze sharpens. “Is it just you?”

Satoru glances back toward your aisle, then returns his eyes to them. “Not just me,” he says simply. “I’m with someone.”

“Human?”

“Damn right.”

“Oh, I’m so happy you’re alive!” Takuma rushes forward, sloppily hugging Satoru like a pair of friends who have just been reunited after ten years apart. 

Satoru stiffens for a second—almost out of instinct—but then he lets out a breathy chuckle and pats Takuma’s back a little roughly. “Alright, alright. Don’t get all emotional on me.”

Takuma laughs wetly, pulling away, his face a mess of relief and lingering fear. “Man, it’s been hell.”

Nanami steps closer too, more reserved but still visibly relieved. “We thought we were the only ones left. We didn’t know if any of the hospital staff made it.”

Satoru’s half-smile falters for a split second before he masks it again, his hand twitching at his side. “Yeah, they didn’t.”

There’s a tense pause, the three men standing in the wrecked gas station, the remnants of their old lives clinging to them like ghosts.

“Well,” Takuma starts, wiping down his clothes with a proud smile. “We have Mr. Gojo here now, our chances of survival are higher, Nanami!” He tosses his poor excuse of a weapon to the side, being the first to head out of the break room.

“We all got this, we all can—”

“Ah!”

The sound of something hitting something—presumably the back of Ino’s head—is all that’s heard before his body slumps to the ground face-forward. Nanami and Satoru stand still, watching the energetic, younger half of their trio knocked down to the ground. 

Their eyes flicker to the right.

There you stand with a bloodied can of beans clutched tightly in your hand, raised defensively. Your chest heaves from the adrenaline, your stance wide, ready to swing again if necessary.

For a moment, no one moves.

Then Satoru runs a hand down his face, exhaling in a long, slow sigh. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters. “I said stay put.”

Nanami, ever the diplomat, simply blinks at you, deadpan. “Reasonable reaction,” he says, voice dry as sandpaper.

You stare at the two men, wide-eyed, heart pounding against your ribs. “H-He came out of nowhere!” you blurt, still gripping the can like your life depends on it.

Takuma groans from the ground, slowly rolling over onto his side, cradling the back of his head. “W-what happened…?” he whimpers.

“You got beaned,” Satoru says flatly. He finally walks over, gently lowering your arm with the can in it. “It’s okay. They’re friends. Dumbass friends, but friends.”

You glance warily between the two strangers, muscles still tense. “You sure?”

“As sure as I can be in this messed up world,” Satoru says, shooting you a small, crooked smile. “Put the weapon down, Rambo.”

Reluctantly, you lower the can, though you still keep it in your hand. Just in case.

You flinch slightly when the blonde man steps up to you, surveying eyes roaming over you, as if searching for an imperfection. Defensively, you shrink in on yourself, eyes narrowed. 

“This is my best pal, Nanami, or Nanamin, or Kento if you’re really boring. We work together.” Satoru introduces, slinging his arm over the other man’s shoulders. “That there writhing on the floor, Takuma Ino. Resident where we work.”

Nanami barely reacts to Satoru’s arm around him, only offering you a polite but curt nod. His eyes, though sharp, seem less judging and more…calculating. Like he’s sizing you up for survival, not morality. “Pleasure,” he says, though his tone is so dry it’s hard to tell if he means it.

Meanwhile, Takuma lets out another soft groan from the ground, still not fully recovered from your ambush. “H-Hi…” he wheezes weakly, waving a hand without looking up.

Satoru grins, giving Nanami a firm slap on the back before stepping away, hands lazily shoved into his pockets. “Now that all the introductions are done and no one else has a concussion, maybe we can focus on getting what we came here for?”

You nod stiffly, still tense, still unsure if you can really trust these men. But a part of you—the part that’s clinging desperately to the idea that not everyone is lost—whispers that you don’t have much of a choice. 

Nanami must see the doubt in your eyes, because he adds, voice low and steady, “We’re not here to hurt you. We’re just trying to survive. Same as you.”

You swallow thickly, nodding once more, finally lowering the can fully to your side.

Satoru tosses you a wink. “See? We’re all just one big, dysfunctional family now.”

Takuma, still face-down on the floor, groans, “Best family reunion ever…”

The car ride out of the gas station after your raid is a silent one. Still recovering from your concussion, it’s taking everything in you not to snap at the star-struck man sitting up from the backseat, blatantly staring at your pinched side profile. 

You peek. 

Yep, still staring. 

A small scoff exits your mouth, brows furrowing even deeper. 

“I—I just can’t believe I’m…you—you’re really—wow, you’re so much prettier than the TV.”

You don’t reply, eyes trained forward on the road. You would think for someone who just got their shit rocked would be less lively than this. Apparently not. 

“You know, my favorite performance you did was the Championship two years ago! I don’t even really like baseball, but you guys always have the best routines. You’re just so flexible, it’s insane! And I—oh, you smell so good!”

“Quit that.” Nanami gruffs, pushing Ino’s side. 

It doesn’t deter him, however. Finally seeing the star captain of the Yomiuri Giants cheer team right before his eyes, the one he’s always daydreamed of meeting…sitting right in front of him. Life couldn’t be better! 

You don’t have the energy to deal with this. Your head is pounding, your stomach turns uneasily with every word that comes out of his mouth, and the last thing you want is to be reminded of the person you were before everything went to hell.

Satoru, sensing your growing irritation, leans back casually in his seat, arm draped lazily over the wheel. “Oi, Ino. You’re gonna make her jump out the damn car if you don’t shut up.”

“But—but it’s her!” Ino protests like a whiny kid, clutching the back of the driver’s seat dramatically. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing! You can’t blame me for being excited!”

Nanami sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Control yourself. She’s not here to sign autographs.”

You shift uncomfortably, dragging a hand down your face. “I’m not her anymore,” you mutter under your breath, almost wishing they hadn’t recognized you at all.

The weight of it—the life you lost, the people you lost—it settles even heavier on your shoulders.

Satoru glances at you out of the corner of his eye, catching the way your hands tremble slightly in your lap. Without saying anything, he reaches forward and turns up whatever is left of the radio, just enough to drown out Ino’s giddy rambling, a silent show of mercy. And for the first time since leaving the gas station, you feel like maybe you can actually breathe.

Even if just a little.

“You’re not her anymore,” Satoru thinks to himself, glancing briefly at you. But whoever you are now… you’re still alive. And that has to count for something.

For now.

“Where are we heading?” Nanami asks from beside Ino in the backseat, sighing heavily. “There’s not much to go to, we should be indoors before sunset.”

Satoru taps his fingers lightly against the steering wheel, eyes locked ahead. “There’s an old motel about fifty minutes from here,” he says casually, but there’s an edge to his voice. “Off the highway, tucked behind some trees. I used to pass it on my commute when I lived in Minano. Looked abandoned.”

“Abandoned could mean infested,” Nanami points out flatly.

Satoru smirks without humor. “Yeah, well, everything’s a gamble now, isn’t it?”

You lean your head back against the seat, staring blankly out the window at the decaying world flashing by. Part of you wants to tell them to just find the nearest ditch and let you all rot there. Safer than pretending there’s some place out there untouched. But another, smaller part—the one that’s too stubborn to die—keeps quiet.

“We’ll clear it if we have to,” Satoru adds, glancing quickly at you, then back to the road. “It’s better than spending the night in a damn gas station parking lot.”

Nanami grunts his reluctant agreement.

Ino just smiles brightly, oblivious to the weight crushing the rest of you.

An abandoned motel. Sounds about right.

You nap for the remainder of the ride. You don’t remember falling asleep. One minute you’re watching the cracked pavement blur by, and the next you’re being shaken awake by a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Hey,” Satoru murmurs, voice low, almost careful. “We’re here.”

Your eyes peel open sluggishly, the incoming afternoon sun bleeding orange across the sky, casting eerie shadows over the crumbling building in front of you.

The motel looks worse up close—a lot worse.

Windows shattered, doors either hanging off their hinges or bolted shut with whatever scrap the previous tenants could find. Faded paint peels off the wooden exterior, vines curling hungrily up the walls.

You sit up straighter, blinking the sleep from your eyes. The air is heavy with the scent of damp wood and something metallic lurking underneath. Nanami and Ino are already getting out, stretching stiffly, weapon gripped tight.

Satoru lingers by your side for a moment longer, watching you with an unreadable expression. “You good?” he asks quietly.

You nod once, though your body screams otherwise. You’re exhausted, sick to your stomach, and mentally fraying at the seams. But what else is new?

You shove the door open and step out into the dying light.

The ground crunches under your shoes—glass, debris, God knows what else.

Nanami’s already surveying the perimeter, and Ino’s bouncing on the balls of his feet like a damn puppy, coming up to your side. 

Satoru comes around the front of the car, twirling the knife lazily between his fingers.

“Alright,” he says, voice deceptively light, “let’s clear us a place to sleep, shall we?”

You adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder, holding the tote in your other hand. If the motel wasn’t infested before… it might be soon. One way or another, tonight would be anything but restful.

“I can carry that for you.” Ino’s voice chirps up, hands hovering above the straps of your backpack and the tote. 

You cast him a glance. “I don’t need a lovesick fool like you helping me.”

Ino physically recoils like you slapped him, hands awkwardly pulling back to his sides. “Ouch,” he mumbles, pouting a little as he kicks a pebble at his foot.

Satoru snorts loudly from a few steps ahead, not even bothering to hide his amusement. “Don’t take it personal, Ino. She’s mean to everyone she likes,” he calls over his shoulder.

You roll your eyes but don’t bother correcting him.

If Ino were smart, he’d learn fast that getting attached to you would be the worst mistake he could make. Nanami, who’s been silently scouting the building’s outer edges, returns to the group. “The doors on the east side are less barricaded. We’ll start there,” he says, jerking his chin toward a crumbling walkway.

Satoru spins his knife once before catching it neatly by the handle.

“Let’s get this over with.”

And without waiting for a response, he strides forward, the rest of you trailing behind into the mouth of the rotting motel.

The entrance groans ominously as Satoru shoves the door open with his shoulder, the hinges protesting with a metallic whine. The inside smells even worse—like mildew, rotted wood, and the faint, stomach-churning tang of decay. You instinctively pull your shirt over your nose, muscles tensing as your eyes adjust to the gloom.

Wallpaper peels in long, curling strips. The carpet is stained beyond recognition. Furniture, if you can even call it that anymore, is overturned and gutted like some desperate animal tore through it.

Satoru moves first, knife gleaming even in the low light, every step calculated and soft. Nanami follows close behind, baseball bat held at the ready.

You take up the rear, feeling Ino nervously hover too close behind you. Every cracked door you pass feels like it’s hiding something. Every faint creak or scuttle in the shadows has your heart hammering against your ribs.

Satoru raises a hand—a silent signal.

You all freeze.

He points to a door slightly ajar at the end of the hall.

The room number, barely clinging to the wall above it, reads 207. A faint shuffle echoes from inside. Without a word, Satoru inches closer, signaling for Nanami to flank the opposite side.

You press yourself against the wall, holding your breath.

The air is so thick with tension you feel like you might choke on it. A beat. Another. Then Satoru kicks the door open.

What greets you isn’t a monster, but something else—

A man.

Disheveled, gaunt, eyes wild and sunken in, brandishing a rusty piece of pipe like a cornered animal.

He shrieks wordlessly and lunges. Satoru is faster. In one clean, brutal movement, he sidesteps and slams the man face-first into the floor, the knife pressed warningly against the side of his neck. The man thrashes weakly, but it’s clear he’s more bark than bite.

“Not infected,” Nanami states flatly, voice void of surprise.

Satoru leans down slightly, voice cold and low. “Then what the hell are you doing here, huh?”

The man whimpers, lips trembling. “H-hiding. Please—please don’t kill me.”

Your stomach churns unpleasantly.

If you hadn’t gotten here first, how long until this guy would’ve turned desperate enough to bash your head in for supplies?

Satoru sighs heavily, straightening and backing off. “Lucky you.”

The man scrambles away from him like a kicked dog, disappearing into the shadows at the far end of the building without a second glance back.

No one speaks for a long moment.

The quiet creeps in again, heavier than before. “Well,” Satoru says at last, sheathing his knife with a soft click. “At least it’s not infested.”

Nanami looks unimpressed. Ino looks like he might faint. You just tighten your grip on your sanity and steel yourself. This motel would be your home for the night. Whether you liked it or not.

“How do we know he won’t come back to try and kill us in our sleep?” You ask out, looking at Satoru. 

Satoru tilts his head slightly, considering the question for a moment. His gaze flickers to the dark hallway behind you, then back to you. His expression is unreadable, though there’s a hint of something—calculated amusement or maybe something darker. “Because,” he says, voice smooth and casual, “if he had any intentions, he’d have already acted. A man like that, desperate and alone, wouldn’t have hesitated to take a swing if he thought he could get away with it.” He shrugs, as if the thought of being attacked in his sleep is more of a nuisance than a legitimate concern.

“You don’t survive this long by being dumb,” he adds. “He’s got no fight left in him. If he does come back, we’ll be ready. And if he doesn’t, well, then we can just go to bed.”

You stare at him, skeptical.

“Not that easy,” Nanami mutters from behind you, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. “But, I suppose it’s better than camping outside and hoping we don’t get surrounded.”

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s not fully convinced, but it’s clear he’s willing to go along with Satoru’s plan. He shoots a glance at Ino, who’s still looking pale but seems to be getting a grip on himself.

“Alright,” you finally say, your voice steady despite the storm of thoughts running through your head. “So, we post watches then.”

“Exactly,” Satoru agrees easily, leaning against the wall with a smirk. “I’ll take first, and Nanami can take second. Ino—” He glances over at the younger man, who’s busy trying to wipe away the sheen of sweat on his forehead. “You can take third. Sound fair?”

Ino nods quickly, still looking somewhat out of his element. “Got it!”

You’re still on edge, but at least there’s some plan in place. Satoru’s smirk flickers and then fades as he steps past you toward the lobby area. “Just don’t do anything stupid,” he says, his voice dropping in volume as he goes. “We’re not out of this yet.”

You take a deep breath and follow him, your mind still racing. The man who’d been hiding in the room is long gone, but the unease doesn’t leave. If you could trust anything right now, it was that nothing in this place was what it seemed. You could hear the faint hum of a distant generator somewhere in the building, the flickering of lights above your head. It was a temporary shelter, and nothing more.

“Let’s just get through tonight,” you mutter, more to yourself than anyone else.

Nanami gives you a look that’s almost approving, like he understands where you’re coming from.

Satoru glances back, pausing just long enough for you to meet his eyes, his expression shifting briefly. “Tomorrow, we move out. Find a more stable safe house, we can’t keep moving every night.”

Tomorrow. The word doesn’t feel real anymore. Nothing feels real. You nod, letting the silence drag you into the night.

After carefully looking through each room on the first floor, you all decide to camp out in the room furthest down the hall on the second floor. Two beds with a dusty TV in front. You claim the bed closest to the window, dropping your things onto it with a huff. The sheets look like they could be cleaner. But it beats having to sleep on the ground. You can only hope and pray no bugs crawl into your ears during the night. 

“Alright, princess gets her own bed and we three can share the other one like a bunch of best buddies.” Satoru claps, setting his bag down. 

“I’m not cuddling you.”

“You say that now, Nanamin.”

Nanami rolls his eyes, moving to dump his things onto the second bed with an exaggerated sigh. “I’d rather sleep standing than anywhere near you two.” His voice is dry, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. 

Ino, however, seems oddly enthusiastic. “I’m okay with the whole ‘sharing’ thing! It’ll be like a sleepover.” His nervous energy still buzzing around him like an annoying fly. “Do we have snacks? I can go check the vending machine downstairs.”

You glance at him, wondering if he’s genuinely this optimistic or just trying to distract himself from the unsettling situation. Either way, his excitement feels out of place here, like a reminder that there are still moments in the world to be happy—even if it’s as small as a vending machine snack.

“Relax, Ino,” Satoru says, raising an eyebrow. “You’re not going anywhere. I’ll keep watch, but don’t get too comfortable thinking you’re gonna snack your way through the end of the world.”

Ino makes a disappointed noise but doesn’t protest. Instead, he lies down on the bed, his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. His gaze flickers from you to Satoru, then back to the far corner of the room, where the faint outlines of shadows play in the dying light of the day.

“So,” he begins, breaking the silence that had settled uncomfortably in the room, “anyone have any stories or something? You know, to help us forget how much the world sucks right now?”

You shoot him a look, unsure if he’s trying to lighten the mood or if he genuinely wants to pass the time. The last thing you want to do is start talking about the old world, but it’s hard to ignore that he’s reaching out for some kind of comfort, even if it’s misguided.

Satoru leans back against the wall, his usual smirk back in place, though it’s a little more tired now. “I’ve got plenty of stories, but none of them are gonna make you feel better. Trust me.”

Nanami shoots him a look from across the room. “Keep it to yourself, Satoru. We don’t need your ‘life wisdom’ right now.”

You roll your eyes, feeling the weight in the air slightly lift. For the first time since entering this damn motel, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. At least for tonight, the world could feel a little more like it was before. Even if it was just for a few hours. As Satoru takes his position by the window, keeping watch for any signs of movement outside, you curl into the bed, staring at the cracked ceiling. There’s no telling what tomorrow will bring. But for tonight, you allow yourself a small moment of peace.

Let’s see if you can even get a wink of sleep tonight.

(if i forgot to tag you, pls let me know) taglist: @sukuxna0 @heartsteelkaynconsumer @myahfig4 @kirachuyuu @sypnasis

@ducky1232 @oromanticism @2late4breakfast @beabamboo @dickktektive

@sleepyyammy @tbzzluvr @beabamboo @lovely-maryj @n1vi

@ojdubije @reixtsu @istha5 @ritsatoru @sadmonke

@zoeyflower @topmeyelena @sourairi @jlandersen01 @vamppirez

@ac27dj @aquariusscollection @itzkawaiix @a-trashbag @satorugirlie

[vaguely-concerned]

when spite describes itself in lucanis' journals, it seems to consistently use the wording 'a small shade'. self-identified 'just a little guy (threat)' fhsak. I really like that wording, though. a shade, something cut off from the wholeness and living light that is the fade and made a shadow cast by someone else in the real world. 'small', under threat, vulnerable, sort of scrappy (and perhaps a little pathetic but in a 'don't touch me I'll bite!!!' kind of way haha).

I'm so in my feelings over how in the last journal it/he describes the two of them as 'a small shade and a wounded spirit sitting together', though. he's so confused and frustrated about what's going on with lucanis at the beginning, but once rook explains that lucanis isn't intentionally fucking with him, he's just hurting, spite seems to understand and accept that pretty readily (if not without some initial 'ugh FINE physical reality rules are so DUMB bitch you guys live like this' frustration lol). lucanis' early statements that spite doesn't, can't or won't learn are obviously bullshit and the game basically tells you so the moment he says it haha, but you know what. that is some deep learning spite is doing, and in like a year of being in the physical world too. I know plenty of actual real adult human beings who are not capable of that level of insight.

and also, as an aside... I think it's pretty conclusively proven in the series that spirits do have the ability to change and learn all on their own when they get the opportunity to and that it gets turbocharged for good or ill when they're exposed to the physical world. but I also wonder if some of it is the other side of the two way connection. just as spite flows into lucanis, surely that must happen after some fashion the other way too. does spite have some access to/come into contact with lucanis' kneejerk empathy response? to be in opposition to something or someone is not the same thing as not understanding them or where they're coming from, after all. in fact sometimes that can amplify the 'no no trust me I get it I understand. but fuck you doubly for it actually you still suck that why only makes it worse', so I don't feel that would go against spite's nature, even. lucanis already has such an interesting relationship to his own empathy all on his own -- he's a prime example of how 'empathy' and 'compassion' are not inherently the same process and one need not accompany the other. when he's in contract mode, empathy is just a knife, a way to understand people deeply so he can stab them better and more efficiently. when he's in family mode, empathy is accompanied with enough tenderness and compassion and warmth that it makes me feel ill to consider and makes it a bit hard for him to stay with, sometimes. it's the same skill/instinct, but shows up differently based on the context he's in. sure why not drop a demon in there and see what happens I guess lol. 'smells like tears and lying' anyone. spite's response to meeting compassion out in the world is 'GOD no don't make eye contact keep walking this is so fucking cringe', but uh. there's no way for him to escape it within the bounds of the person he's been frankensteined into, is there. aaaah it's so interesting.

there's something so fascinating to me about two souls who are so close they can't help but reflect and bleed into each other, but also remain two separate entities who can look at each other. and be mutually protective about it, clearly. augh.

[loveswrites]

volturi x pregnant reader 🤭 (i have bad baby fever rn😪)

Love Us? Poly Volturi X Reader

Word count: 1509

Time it took: 3 hours

To anon~ I hope you like this one! Let me know if you guys like it! I know you will. Love <3

Volturi X Pregnant Reader

“How the fuck could this happen?” You yelled looking down at the pee filled plastic piece of fate in your hand. A test. A pregnancy test of all the tests in the world, this is the one you passed?

“They’re vampires. I thought none of that could work?” You questioned yourself looking in the mirror. 

“Oh my god.. I don’t even know whose it is.” Your eyes widen in shock.

You never thought that you would be the kinda girl to have this problem. Taking a second to think you realized there was no way for you to be able to tell whose baby it was. Out of all the nights for you to pass this test, meanwhile the last time you were intimate with your love's you were being passed around like a blunt. 

“I can’t.. I can’t do this.” You whispered to yourself as you shook your head.

“Wait, I have to push this thing out? Oh hell no.” You started panicking.

 You had always been frightened of the process of birth. The pain, the restless nights, the fact that a living thing was growing inside of you. You never asked to be a garden.

“You think I can, you know.. Get rid of.. You know.. It?” You asked yourself outloud slowly. Holding eye contact with nothing and no one but yourself you still never gave an answer.

“Nahh it must be a mistake. It’s lying, these things are wrong all the time.” You laughed, feeling your shoulders relax immediately. You tossed the test in the bin next to the sink and started leaving the bathroom. The moment you stepped out you froze. And so did your breath. There in front of you stood your lovers. All of them. 

“You're pregnant.” Alec was the first one to speak after a minute of silence.

“No-” You started but was immediately cut off.

“Don’t lie, we can hear it.” Caius spat out, a frown on his face making your heart ache a little. Caius wasn’t the nicest but you’ve never seen him look at you like this.

“I-How I just found out?” You questioned.

“It’s a vampire, It’s been baking for two days now.” Dem spoke looking you up and down as if he was examining you. 

“I-”

“This is an abomination. You're getting rid of it.” Cauis said firmly.

“What?” You questioned.

“It’s against the rules.” Aro stated like that mattered to you.

“So what?! You make the rules!” You yelled feeling protective of the pea or baseball size of a baby you just found out about.

“It’s a killer.” Alec said taking side by Jane.

“Trust me, we know.” Jane said so monetoned. 

“A killer? It’s not even here yet! A killer? Then what the fuck are you!?” You yelled throwing the closest thing to you, which happened to be a vintage vase that you saw and fell in love with. Marcus had gave the task to some vampires to steal it for you as it was an antique in a museum 

Seeing it hit the ground and shatter you immediately burst into tears.

“My vase!” You sobbed feeling a heavy sadness you hadn’t felt in a while. The vampires glanced at each other witnessing the affects the infant has already brung upon you.

“Yeah.. Our lives are going to be a living hell if we keep this thing.” Felix stated making the others agree in their own ways in silence, as you sobbed over the pieces of glass trying to put the back together.

2 weeks later

“I’m hungry, But I don’t want that.” You said pointing to the wine glass Aro held in his hand. It was full of a red substance made specifically for you, he said.

“It’s just wine.” Aro said as his grin grew bigger tell you that he's lying his ass off. And doing a bad job at it.

“Like hell it is! You're trying to kill me!” You said crawling back further into the couch you were sitting on. 

“That would be easier than whatever this is.” Caius spoke looking at the scene of you and Aro in distaste. 

It had been 2 weeks since you found out you were pregnant. 

The tension has still been high on both ends. With your never ending mood swings that always ended with you breaking something and in tears. The amount of glass you’ve broken is enough to bring bad luck on all those who step foot in this castle. 

“Shut up!” You yelled at Caius, bothered by his attitude. His comments lately have been putting you on edge every time he spoke yet he still doesn’t walk on eggshells around you like Alec, Felix, Marcus have. You honestly wish he would so you wouldn’t have to hear his mouth.

“What is that?” You questioned turning your head as Aro tried to make you take a sip of the mystery liquid in the glass.

“Your favorite wine.” Aro said, like it was a fact, causing Jane to snicker in the back making Alec laugh immediately.

“You see I would believe you if I didn’t know how my favorite wine moved.” You started.

“That’s thick.” You finished with a monotone voice.

“It’s just-”

“Blood My-! We're going to be here all day unless you tell her.” Dem groaned, rubbing his eyes in annoyance.

“I know you're lying! Are you serious?” You questioned raising your eyebrows in disbelief.

“You had to have known that this was coming soon.” Jane stated, looking at you as she herself was sipping on a glass of wine.

“I didn’t think it wouldn’t come, I just thought we’d talk about it instead of trying to trick me into it!” You yelled looking at Aro with eyes that slowly grew furious.

“Here we go again.” Cauis spoke, shaking his head.

“I’m just sick of hearing you speak, can you shut up!?” You questioned in frustration of Caius’s existence.  

“Can you just stop?! I swear in my whole existence I've never met a human more irritating than you!” He shouted right back at you. Hearing his words you felt a shock of sadness run through you. Your eyes immediately watered. 

“You don’t love me?” You merely whispered as tears ran down your face. Full on sobbing now. Cauis looked shocked. Like he didn’t know what to do with you. And quite frankly none of your love’s knew what to do.

“Don’t cry darling.. That’s not what he meant.” Marucs said softly as he walked into the room sitting next to you.

“Then what did he mean?” You question looking at Marcus with wet eyes. He led you to lay your head on his chest by your head making you immediately relax.

“What I think is this is a very complicated time for us all. And it will take some getting used to but it won’t last forever.” He spoke with wisdom flowing through his veins. 

“It feels like forever.” Felix said snickering but immediately apologizing when you shot him a pointed look.

“I’m sorry baby.” Felix apologized, making you relax back into Marcus' chest.  

“What did that doctor tell you?” You questioned, referring to Carlise, the vampire doctor Cauis ordered Aro to call in attempts to find a way to get rid of the seed sprouting inside of you. Summoning a fight in you you never knew you had. 

The anger you felt that night was one you’ve never felt before. One you couldn’t even explain with words. One that you could only explain or show with physical action.  

“That you should drink the wine.” Jane spoke with annoyance rolling her eyes.

“You drink it!” You yelled.

“I don’t even know where that came from.” You continued as your body went back and forth with the feeling of being relaxed and tensed.  

“A human.” Alec said plainly.”

“I’m not drinking that.” You said for the last time.  And they knew it. Sighs flowed through the room as Aro finally gave up and put the glass of blood down.

The vampires consumed themselves in conversation as you zoned out. Some of the talk was about the baby, you, blood, and death. Things you didn’t want to hear. The talks of them turning you made tears roll down your face. Your hands made their way from Marcus’s to your stomach. You knew that at some point you would have to turn if you wanted to be with your lovers forever. But you didn’t think it would come this soon. You wanted to experience a bit more of the human world. Rather that was by yourself or with your eternal love’s. 

You smiled at that thought as you felt the baby inside of you start squirming. 

Wait squirming? 

It’s moving? 

Your eyebrows frowned in confusion. You’ve never felt the baby move like this. You opened your mouth to speak but all that made a sound was little hums. That softened to nothing as your sight bounced from light to black.

You had plenty of time to die. 

Or so you thought.

[mrsshabana]

𝐄𝐱-𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaroxfemale!reader, 18+ MDNI, modern au, Gyutaro is your ex, smut, vaginal sex ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.5k words. I've had this idea in my drafts for a super long time so I decided to go ahead and finish it! I hope you all enjoy it and thanks for reading ♡

Gyutaro missed you so goddamn much. The first and only girl he ever fell in love with.

At first, he was angry, but now he's just depressed. Everything reminds him of you. And he feels so incredibly lonely.

You broke up with Gyutaro over a month ago.

Your relationship lasted about 4 months until you just couldn't take it anymore. He was a decent enough boyfriend at first but as time passed it became more and more toxic.

He was controlling and extremely jealous. Getting angry anytime you'd try to hang out with your friends. Especially other men. He never trusted you even though you'd never dare cheat on him, and you never gave him a reason to believe you would.

He'd go through your phone without your permission and get into fights with you anytime you went out with your friends. You loved Gyutaro but it was exhausting dealing with this on a regular basis.

His insecurities got to be too much and he never stopped trying to control you no matter how many times you tried talking to him about it. So you eventually broke it off. Breaking Gyutaro's heart in the process.

Now that he had some time to process the breakup, he realizes what an asshole he's been. His biggest regret is taking you for granted.

You were so good to him, so sweet too. No girl has ever looked at him the way you did. Like he wasn't some ugly freak, or someone to be pitied. No, you made him feel normal. More than normal actually. He genuinely felt loved and attractive even.

Not to mention the sex was good too. God, it was phenomenal. Gyutaro told you he'd delete the videos and photos he had, but he lied. He still watches them on a daily basis. He can't bring himself to get rid of them. He's still so madly in love with you.

The thought of you lying beneath anyone else but him makes him furious. No other man should be able to touch you like he did. Maybe it's selfish, but you're his girl. You always will be in his mind. And he just hopes that you'll give him a second chance because living without you by his side is unbearable.

"Hey... r u free tomorrow?" he nervously texts you for the first time since you've broken up.

You sigh and roll your eyes when he texts you. A part of you misses Gyutaro, but you don't miss how controlling he was. However, you are willing to hear him out so you respond a few minutes later. "Yeah, why?"

"I was thinking maybe we could hang out or something? If u want to."

"Ok, that's fine."

"Cool! There's this new place I wanted to try, I'll send u the address. Meet me around 6."

And just like that Gyutaro successfully asked you out on a date! Well, in his mind it's a date to win you back. But in your mind, it's just a meetup to get closure about your relationship.

When you meet up with Gyutaro at the restaurant, you're suddenly overcome with emotions that you didn't expect yourself to feel. A longing for the man you once loved. You thought you were over him but maybe you were wrong.

"Hey Y/N!" He smiles, masking his inner sadness as he stands and gives you a hug.

A surprised sound leaves your lips when he embraces you. Feeling his arms wrapped around you again feels so familiar. So comforting that you can't help but long for it.

But you know you must resist. Remembering all of the turmoil and emotional pain he's put you through, you know you can't go back to that.

So, after a few seconds you pull away from the hug and give him a cordial smile, "It's good to see you again. How have you been?" You ask as Gyutaro pulls your seat out. How strange... he never did that when you were dating.

"I've been alright," he laughs nervously, obviously lying, "How about you? You look great."

"Thanks," you chuckle, "I've been good. Just focusing on work mostly..."

There's an awkward silence after the chit-chat ends and the waiter takes your orders. Neither of you know what to say. Gyutaro is sweating buckets right now, going through hundreds of scenarios in his head. Wracking his brain for the best things to say so he can win you back. But he can't decide so he just blurts it out.

"Listen Y/N, I want you back," he states with a shaky voice. And as you open your mouth to sternly decline, he quickly cuts you off before you can do so, "I know I was a dick. And I'm so sorry, for everything. I didn't treat you right at all, I realize that now... and I understand if it's too late. I know I'm an idiot for not treating you right the first time. But now that I've been living without you my life feels so empty. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I fucked it up! I fucked up real bad," he tears up, "Every day just feels so fucking cold without you. There's no one else to blame but myself, I know that... but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try to get you back."

He looks at you with pleading eyes, full of desperation. Like this is his one and only chance at happiness. The regret he feels was evident in how his voice quivered and his eyes filled with tears. There's no doubt in your mind that his words are genuine. But do you really believe he'll keep his word and change? Do you want to take that chance when you've already experienced a toxic relationship with him once?

"Gyutaro..." you say as you look down at the table, avoiding looking into his eyes because the longer you stare into them the closer you come to tears, "I-I don't know what to say."

This is a lot of pressure he's putting on you. But honestly, you should have expected it. You feel stupid for not thinking of this as a possibility when he texted you.

Gyutaro takes a deep breath, "It's alright. Sorry I did all that... you probably think it was pretty pathetic. I didn't mean to make things weird... we can just forget I said anything," he looks defeated as he slumps back in his chair.

"No, it wasn't pathetic at all. I actually really appreciate what you said," you say as you reach out and take his hand, "It means a lot to me that you owned up to your mistakes and apologized. I know it's not easy to do."

His eyes widen as he feels your soft touch, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as you continue to speak.

"I'd love to have you as my boyfriend again, Gyutaro."

"R-Really?!" his face lights up, full of joy just like the first time you agreed to be his girlfriend.

Standing from his seat, he rushes to your side and hugs you tightly before you even get the chance to get out of your chair. Almost knocking you over in the process. He's just so damn excited, he can't help himself.

"I promise I won't make you regret this, Y/N!"

The rest of the evening goes well enough, that after dinner you find yourself in Gyutaro's apartment. Being pounded from behind as he holds you in a spooning position on his bed.

Throughout the whole date at the restaurant, the sexual tension between the two of you was palpable. He's obviously missed fucking you, but you missed it too. You hadn't had sex at all since you had broken up, though you thought about it often. Images of Gyutaro would flash through your head every time you'd touch yourself.

You'd curse yourself for thinking of him, getting annoyed that the memories of you two being intimate wouldn't stop. But you couldn't help but think of him. No one has ever made you feel the way Gyutaro did.

He may have been an asshole at times, but he was amazing in the bedroom. He craved you day and night, and would worship you like a queen. It felt good being so desired by the man you were in love with. Not to mention the toe-curling, bed-wetting orgasms he'd give you too.

Now you lay here in his bed, practically screaming his name as he plunges into you. Fucking you just how he's learned you like it.

"Fuck, that's it baby," he groans as he pushes you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up and holding them tightly as he thrusts into you again, "God, you fit like a glove. So perfect for me... it must be meant to be, huh? Don't worry babe, I won't let this pussy go unfilled ever again."

He whispers into your ear as he feels you tighten around him.

As you feel your climax approaching, you realize no one could ever make you feel like Gyutaro makes you feel. With every touch he graces upon your body, you're given another reason why you were meant to be his.

[emryslore]

Sterek Fic Recs

creature!stiles sterek recs

Abominable (E) 16K by pixieblade

“I am black snow,” she’d remind him over watermelon lemonade and the drone of cicadas. “Nowosław, he was our hope for this new place; our new glory.” She would pat his cheek, her brows pulled down over amber eyes that looked so much like his own. “But you, little Mieczysław, you were your parent’s desire to cut away the evil in this world; their holy sword. I would have named you better – Moroz after my father, and the first frost.” “Remember, little frostbite, the land responds to us. It is our job to protect it and the animals and plants that live on it. Never show what you are. What we can be. Here, they do not know Almas. They would not understand our role.” She slid a withered hand over his shorn hair, a necessity as puberty made the Almas in him come to the forefront. “We are the last children of the Black God…the wild ones, and the forests and mountains, they belong to us.”

I've Lived A Better Day (NR) 32K by HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere

When Stiles comes across a rogue Alpha during his first year at Berkeley, the ensuing fight doesn't exactly go his way. He calls an unlikely ally to help him with his transition, and finds out his new pack isn't quite who he might have thought it would be. Stiles is now left with the task of trying to figure out how his old life will fit in with his new, but that is not without its challenges.

The Bite (M) 6.6K by LeeHan

The first time Stiles was offered the bite, he said no, but the universe only gave him the courtesy of asking so many times. When the inevitability of the bite catches up with him, Stiles has to face his new nature. Luckily, he has Derek by his side every step of the way.

Go Away, Scott (NR) 66K by HelloWhyTheFuckAmIHere

After the incident at the warehouse, Stiles is fed up with Scott. He finds himself drawn into Derek’s pack and in the process, drawn to Derek himself. With the Alpha Pack closing in, Derek needs to learn how to trust his pack and those around him. And who better to help him than Stiles?

bound (E) 76K by demonicfaerie2009, seaweedwater

Returning to Beacon Hills was never on Stiles' agenda—not this year, and probably not ever. There’s nothing here worth returning to, despite the relentless pull that perpetually calls on him. When he felt his twin die, he couldn’t resist it anymore; whatever is left of his humanity won’t let him disregard it, or the unfortunate Hale tragedy. He must pay his respects and mourn the last vestiges of his human life. Or, the one where Stiles returns to his hometown after eighty years, and Derek wants to murder him.

[mcflymemes]

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

who else knows you're still alive?

don't tell me i'm the only one that knows.

i never should have believed their lies.

how could you keep this from me?

they lied to you. they knew it would break you if i died.

i staged it all.

there's no way this is happening.

i'm never letting you go.

i promised you i'd never leave you.

but i saw you die! this is impossible!

no. no. this isn't happening. this can't be real.

i watched it. i watched you die and now you're standing here.

how is this even possible?

they might have exaggerated just a bit.

we needed to make it look like i was dead.

you just let me spend all this time thinking you were dead?

did you tell anyone else?

this was your master plan? fake your death, see what happens?

i don't know whether to be pissed or be thrilled to see you again.

i've just seen a ghost.

you saw what they wanted you to see.

you're not real. i must be dreaming.

did you look for me?

funny. i don't remember falling asleep.

you just let us all believe you were dead?

it was the only way to do this. i'm sorry.

when were you going to tell me?

i watched the life leave your eyes...

you kept this from me.

oh my god... no. no no no. this can't be happening.

how did you... how did you even do this?

someone pinch me.

you look pretty good for someone that's supposed to be dead.

i watched you die in my arms.

they told me you died.

i promised you i'd come back.

they lied to me? all this time?

trust me, i wanted to tell you. i really did.

i think i need to sit down.

i'm gonna need some time to process this.

are you real? can i touch you?

what was all this about you dying?

you've kept the truth from me all this time.

had you just told me, i could have helped you.

i begged them to let me tell you, but they said it would ruin our plans.

the blood was fake. i'm all right.

yes, i'm alive! would you please come over here and give me a hug?

i didn't think i'd survive it, either.

i knew you'd come back for me.

we had to make it believable from the start.

there was no other way.

i should have told you.

i tried to get a message out to you.

they said you'd moved on, so i figured i should, too.

i wish i had all the answers for you.

i know you expect me to be okay with this, but things have changed since you died.

[name]... i thought you were dead.

will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?

i'll never leave you again.

i swear on my life, this wasn't supposed to happen this way.

i take it you got my message.

everything got out of hand.

they didn't tell you?

glad you could make it.

i'm sorry i didn't reach out to you sooner.

all of a sudden, you come back into my life.

i'm back and better than ever.

i don't want to hear your excuses.

[nerdallwritey]

About to Strike (Part 1)

***IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: ONCE AGAIN I've yapped too much and this chapter became longer than tumblr likes, so I've split it into two posts. It's the same drill as Cheeks All Flushed: The smut is in the other part if you'd rather skip shenanigans and Get To Business. And that's valid! Part 2 is here and also linked down below. Apologies! It IS all in one place on AO3 if you'd prefer that!

Summary: Before Astarion could protest more, you took a sip of the drink.  He gasped. “Darling, what do you think you’re doing?” “Building trust,” you said, smiling at Jaheira. Her features echoed your own and she took a sip as well.  “Ah, what the hells,” Karlach said. “Bottoms up!” She downed her own goblet. “You’re all idiots and I hope you die,” Astarion crossed his arms.  OR The gang finally makes their way into the Shadow Cursed Lands.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 21.3k (This particular part is 10.7k) CW: smut, reader is new to sex, piv sex, oral (male receiving), hand job, vaginal fingering, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, mild angst, protective Astarion, soft Astarion, whimpering Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), lots of party banter, AND JAHEIRA!! Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 and 2 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 6 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: SURPRISE! Part 6 is COMPLETE and she's A LOT. The back half is mainly smut and feelings and Astarion processing emotions a little which we LOVE to see. I hope to the gods that you guys find this to be a good followup to Worth the Peril, but I'm excited to FINALLY be in Act 2 and get into the big romantic scenes that happen there. Thank you all so much for sticking around and loving this goofy version of Astarion and his favorite bard :) You guys are the best and I adore and appreciate every single one of you! Please enjoy these silly little vignettes from the end of Act 1 and the start of Act 2! (Thank you as always to my beta @kermitwazowski for reading!) As a reminder, last time you got Mega Hurt in a fight and Astarion kind of took that personally.

Taglist: Moved to the comment section, since tumblr hates sharing fun with friends - please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!

“Would you relax?” you whispered sharply to the vampire currently brooding to your right.

“How can I be when this… ancient woman just tried to murder you?” Astarion threw a dramatic hand forward, gesturing to Jaheira, who was walking in front of you towards the Last Light Inn. You all had just arrived at the well lit sanctuary in the Shadow Cursed Lands, only to be interrogated by the High Harper, and vouched for by Mol, who’d managed to find her way here as well.

“I handled it,” you hissed. “It’s going to be okay.”

“While I admire your optimism, darling, I still don’t trust her.”

Karlach buzzed behind you, clearly in disbelief. “Mate, you must be joking. That’s the Jaheira!”

Astarion slowed his pace a bit to meet Karlach’s eye. “And, I take it, you know the old crone?”

“Astarion!” Wyll sounded surprised. “You’ve lived in Baldur’s Gate longer than I have! And you don’t know the tales they tell of Jaheira and her party of adventurers?”

Your crew of seven came to a halt in front of a moss covered fountain to gawk at the elf.

He clicked his tongue. “Mmm… that’d be a no.”

“He’s lying,” Shadowheart rolled her eyes.

“I am not!”

Gale lifted a quizzical eyebrow. “Come now, Astarion, surely you’ve heard passing tales of the heroes of Baldur’s Gate? Or perhaps read a book of their exploits?”

Lae’zel narrowed her eyes. “I do not know of this ‘Jah-hee-rah’ person. Her heroics must not be that impressive if I have never heard of her.”

“Nor I,” Halsin cut in.

“Yes, well, being freakish outsiders from the Astral Plane and the middle of the forest will deprive you of basic history lessons.” Astarion crossed his arms.

You snorted. “So what’s your excuse?” The others snickered. 

Astarion placed an annoyed hand on his hip. “Did you all forget that I was kept as a slave for two hundred years of pure misery and torture?”

The group remained silent for a moment before you stepped forward to kiss his cheek. “You’re still not over that?” 

He smirked. “Would you believe it’s taking me a little longer than one might expect?”

“Shame,” you pouted. Then you looked at Karlach who was angling her head around the fountain to track where Jaheira had gone. “You want to enlighten these three, Karlach?”

Karlach looked back at you all and her eyes lit up with glee. “Oh, yes please!” She rolled her shoulders and bounced on her feet as if she were preparing for battle, rather than recounting basic Baldur’s Gate history. She cleared her throat before she spoke. “Years ago - over a century-”

You turned to Astarion and caught his eye. A century! your expression seemed to say.

Astarion shrugged his shoulders up to his ears and unwrapped one of his crossed arms to hold dramatically in front of himself. So what?

You rolled your eyes. So you should have been there!

He narrowed his eyes and shook his head. I don’t know what to tell you.

You huffed some hair out of your eyes and tuned back in to what Karlach was saying.

“-Jaheira was part of a group that saved Baldur’s Gate from Seravok - a Bhaalspawn trying to plunge the city into war.”

Once again, you caught Astarion’s eye. “And you don’t recall any of this?”

He pursed his lips as the others turned to look at him. “Now that you mention it, I vaguely recall tensions being rather high around the city all those years ago.”

“Liar,” Shadowheart accused again. “It had to be more apparent than that. Why don’t you just admit you know who Jaheira is?”

Astarion’s response was venomous: “I was kept on a very tight leash, thank you, so apologies for not getting the names of the heroes who ‘saved’ the city that kept me enslaved for another hundred years.” 

You approached him quietly and took his hand. He scowled at Shadowheart but wrenched his gaze away to look at you. His expression softened mildly.

“It’s okay,” you said gently. “I’m sure she would have come for you and your siblings had she known.”

“Yes, probably come to kill us for being abominations,” he muttered, but squeezed your hand anyway.

“Ah, don’t be like that, Astarion,” Wyll said cheerfully. “I’m sure she would have helped you! You’re quite fun once you get past all the prickly bits.”

“Gee, thanks,” Astarion said flatly. 

Karlach took the awkward silence that followed as an opportunity to keep fangirling. “My mum used to tell us stories all about them - the legends who protected the city from evil. She said Jaheira was a powerful druid. Adamant. Tough.”

“Probably a good ally to have on our side,” you said. Your companions nodded in agreement.

“I’ve told myself those stories thousands of times since,” Karlach continued. “I never thought I’d meet Jaheira. She’s a hero, and I was always… some Outer City kid.”

“Well, excellent news, Karlach,” Gale said. “Given our circumstances and the path we currently find ourselves on, it’s quite possible that we might be considered heroes one day.”

“Chk,” Lae’zel scoffed. “We don’t even know what we’re up against yet. It is likely some of you will perish before we are able to slay this unknown enemy.”

Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “Charming as always, Lae’zel.”

“I am not charming. I am merely stating fact.”

Halsin cleared his throat. “Another druid you say, Karlach?”

Karlach grinned and nodded. “She’s the best! Can’t believe she wants to talk to us about working together. What a day!”

And what a day it had been. 

Or, tenday, more like.

~~~~~

The day after you’d told Astarion’s sleeping form that you loved him, he’d been nothing but clingy. 

You awoke to find him still curled tightly into your side, but now he was fully awake, his eyes wide and unblinking. It was unnerving.

“Can I help you?” you asked.

He blinked rapidly before an easy grin rested on his lips. “Just making sure you still have a pulse, darling.”

You snorted. “Checking on your food supply, I see.”

Astarion angled his head to nuzzle his nose along your throat before kissing your pulse point. “What can I say,” he murmured against your skin, “we vampires have two instincts, as we learned from that book yesterday: ‘feed and make little vampires.’” He scrunched his face into a silent roar, baring his fangs and forming one of his hands into a claw. He slashed it through the air playfully.

“Yes well, the latter probably won’t be happening for a little while,” you said, shifting to sit up, but wincing in pain over the wound in your torso. 

Astarion was rolling off the pillows within seconds and coming around to help you sit up. His eyes were concerned, but he pouted and his voice was teasingly whiny when he said, “Pity.” He rested his forehead against your temple. “I do so miss being inside of you.”

You nearly choked on your own spit, which had him pulling away from you and laughing. 

“Whatever,” you muttered, watching as Astarion pulled his shirt over his head. 

“Hungry, my sweet?” he asked, still smiling.

“You’re really freaking me out,” you said, giving him a sideways look, “with how nice you’re being.”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Fine. Starve.” With that, he exited your tent with a theatrical swoosh of the flaps that acted as a door.

You exhaled a disbelieving laugh, watching as the flaps swished back and forth before settling back into their closed position.

“SHE’S WHAT?!” you heard Karlach shriek, followed by loud, bounding footsteps approaching your tent. 

Astarion called after her in annoyance, “Don’t bother her!”

“Soldier!” Karlach’s head and shoulders popped their way into your tent. “So happy you’re awake!”

“Hi Karlach,” you laughed. “I’d get up but-”

Karlach shook her head. “Don’t move a muscle. I’m sure Shadowheart and Halsin will want to change your bandages and pump you full of potions but… I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” you said. “Thank you for helping while I was unconscious.”

“You’d do the same for any of us,” she said earnestly, still on her hands and knees in the entrance of your tent. 

You heard a dull thump outside that had Karlach yelping in surprise. 

“Out,” came Astarion’s sour tone, his tongue putting extra emphasis on the “t.”

Karlach looked back over her shoulder and then over to you. “He kicked my boot, the bastard! Proper hard, too!”

“I’d do a lot worse if you weren’t a walking furnace.” Another thump informed you that he kicked Karlach’s boot again.

Rather than retreat, however, Karlach settled her elbows into the dirt and rested her head in her hands. “Ask nicely.” She met your eye with a mischievous grin. 

You heard Astarion squawk incredulously. “Darling, tell her to move!”

Clearing your throat to keep from laughing, you said firmly, “Astarion. Be nice. That’s my dear friend, Karlach, you’re kicking.”

He muttered something you couldn’t make out, followed by a loud groan. 

Through gritted teeth, he said, “Dear, sweet, Karlach-” 

“Liking the sound of this,” Karlach nodded.

“-would you be so kind as to remove your humongous form from the entrance of my lovely bard’s tent?” It sounded as if the words were causing him physical pain.

Karlach looked back at you. “What do you think, Soldier?”

“He could probably do better,” you said with a smirk. But it was then that your stomach decided to growl loudly. 

“Woof,” Karlach said.

You could practically hear Astarion’s eye roll. “You know, if you let me in, I could remedy that little problem you’re experiencing.”

Karlach slanted her mouth to the side. “He’s probably right, Gale left behind a bunch of-” she waggled her fingers, “-magic-y warm food for you before he, Shadowheart, Lae’zel, and Wyll headed out this morning.”

You cocked your head to the side. “And you didn’t go with them?”

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “And miss you possibly waking up?”

You smiled at her fondly. “That’s very sweet of you.”

“Besides, I don’t trust myself around all the explodey mushrooms down here.”

Astarion cleared his throat loudly.

“Alright, Fangs, don’t get your panties in a twist.” Karlach looked over her shoulder at him before looking back at you once more. “Let me know if you need anything. You know where to find me.” She pointed to her temple, referring to the tadpole connection, and winked. She crawled backwards on her hands and knees, purposely taking her time, before she fully exited the tent. 

Astarion took her place instantly, crawling into the space with a plate of steaming scrambled eggs, fresh fruit, bread, and a pair of healing potions. He placed the entire thing on your lap, along with a fork, before settling onto the ground next to you. 

You blinked at him. “Breakfast in bed?” 

He scoffed. “It isn’t as if you can join us at the breakfast table.”

Smiling softly, you reached out a hand to cup his cheek. “Thank you, my love. This is very kind of you.”

He still scowled, but his face softened when he took your hand from his cheek and kissed your palm. “I expect the same kind of pampering in return if I’m ever to practically die as foolishly as you.”

You laughed before picking up the fork and stabbing some egg. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

~~~~~

And for the first few days, it did feel like pampering: Astarion staying by your side at all times - reading to you, laying with you, changing your bandages… He only ever left to feed himself. He refused your blood, citing that you needed it more than him, even though your bleeding had slowed to a halt by the third day. 

It all felt very nice.

Until you felt well enough to get back on your feet.

The others had dutifully been wrapping things up in the Underdark; defeating monsters, freeing deep gnomes from their drow and duergar slavers, rescuing the halfling woman’s husband, and exploring an abandoned wizard’s tower and the temple to Shar, to name a few. Lae’zel had even gifted you a new longsword she’d found, Phalar Aluve - a sword with the ability to sing or shriek - claiming that this weapon would not have allowed you to be wounded as fatally, had you had it during the duergar battle in the decrepit village.

On the day they raided the Zhentarim cache Astarion had mentioned all those days ago, he’d remained dutifully by your side, much to your dismay and protests that you’d be fine without him for a few hours.

“Absolutely not,” he’d said, looking down his nose at you. “As if Halsin or Shadowheart could care for you as properly as I have.”

“You forget,” you’d responded, mildly annoyed, “that they’re the ones who taught you how to care for me.”

“And I’m the one who shall continue to care for you,” he huffed, finishing changing your bandages once again. By this time, you could sit up on your own with mild to no pain at all. You were perfectly capable of changing your own bandages, but Astarion had insisted on continuing to help you. 

You supposed it was nice that he wanted to take care of you, given how much he usually hated being responsible for anything, but he was taking the job a bit too seriously.

Luckily, Karlach and Lae’zel had lugged some chests they’d been unable to open at the Zhentarim storeroom back to camp, allowing your beloved rogue to take part in the raid, despite not attending himself, and thus allowing you a moment of peace to roll off your pillows and put on fresh clothes without his help.

You emerged from your tent to look at the spoils from the storeroom, standing up straight and walking on your own. Astarion hadn’t noticed at first, too busy fiddling with the lock of a particularly large chest, but the commotion created by your companions forced him to look in your direction. 

“You’re up!” Wyll exclaimed.

“Do you need any help?” Gale snapped the book he was reading closed.

“Give her some space,” Shadowheart said, assessing you with her eyes from a few feet away.

Astarion got up and hurried over to you. “What do you think you’re doing?”

You smiled at him reassuringly. “I promise I feel well enough to be out here. I just wanted some fresh, Underdark air.” You looked over his shoulder at one of the open chests. “Find anything good?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Nothing worth you getting out of bed for.” He looked you up and down and noticed your change of clothes. He sighed. “I could have helped-”

“I’m fine,” you maintained, placing your hands on his shoulders and looking him directly in the eyes.

Halsin approached the two of you and nodded approvingly. “It is good for her to be up and moving around. It’ll stretch the healing muscles and allow her to join the fray again much more quickly than if she stays in bed all day.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes. “Oh, what do you know?”

“Astarion,” Shadowheart said in warning. “If she says she’s okay, let’s believe her. I’m sure she’ll tell you if something’s wrong this time around, right?” She made pointed eye contact with you. 

You held up your hand as if swearing an oath. “I promise.”

He watched you closely, narrowing his eyes and sniffing pompously. “Fine.” 

He made no move to leave your side.

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the chest he’d been working on, the thieves’ tools still stuck inside the lock. You patted the top of the chest and said, “Don’t let me interrupt you.”

Astarion watched you carefully before he made his way back to the chest and sunk to his knees. 

Not far off, Lae’zel was polishing her greatsword. “Does this mean you are well enough to accompany us to the crèche?”

“Well, I-”

“No,” said every other person at camp at once.

“Chk,” Lae’zel thrust her greatsword into the dirt in front of her. “Heal faster.”

“Trying my best,” you said with a shrug. 

Lae’zel rolled her eyes and returned to assessing her greatsword.

“If you’re going to be up and about,” Shadowheart said, “you should probably start packing up your belongings for when we need to enter the Mountain Pass.”

“Augh!” you exclaimed loudly, clutching your side. Astarion was up immediately and you leaned your weight on him, throwing your arms around his neck for support. “So sorry, Shadowheart,” you said in a fake strained tone, “my wound… it prevents me… from hard labor…” You flopped fully into Astarion’s side, closing your eyes and sticking out your tongue as if you’d just perished on the spot.

“Oh good,” Astarion said blandly, “she’s finally dead and I can get on with my life.”

You kicked him.

“Uh huh,” Shadowheart crossed her arms. “Such a shame she’ll never be able to annoy us again.”

“I’ll haunt you forever…” you murmured, wobbling your voice like a ghost.

 Shadowheart stepped forward and patted your arm. “I’ll ask for blessings from Lady Shar on behalf of your passing.”

“Thank you…” you murmured again.

Astarion bumped his hip into yours forcefully. “Would you get off of me?”

You pulled back and smiled at him. “See? I’m fine.”

He humphed and returned to unlocking the big chest, only to find it full of more thieves' tools. He sighed heavily and rested his forehead on the edge of the chest. You peered inside and laughed.

“Aw,” you said sympathetically and patted his shoulder. “I’m going to get some food.”

“Let me-” 

“No,” you said firmly. “Keep going through your useless chests, my love. I’ll be right over here.” You walked over to the makeshift kitchen area Gale had set up. 

Astarion watched you go, and you felt his protective eyes remain on you for the remainder of the night. 

~~~~~

It was like that now: Astarion trying to do things for you while you insisted you could do them on your own. 

It had bewildered you when he actually helped you pack for your trip back to the surface. He had little to pack of his own, given that he’d more or less lived in your tent throughout your stay in the Underdark. He was relentlessly cautious with you, insisting that Gale cast Fly on you so that you didn’t have to ascend the impossibly long ladder back up into the Goblin camp. And he rarely let you out of his sight, even when safely surrounded by your other companions. 

The Mountain Pass was beautiful: bathed in what seemed like permanently golden light that had Astarion blooming in the sun’s glow once again. When your group accidentally stumbled into a hostile party of undead while looking for a place to camp, Astarion had taken your hand and pulled you behind him to shield you with his body. 

“I can help!” you’d pleaded, watching your friends sling spells and swords at the skeletons.

“Let us handle this,” Astarion had growled, slashing his daggers through a ghoul that came a little too close to you for comfort. He kept you both to the outskirts of the fight.

Try as you might to help, Astarion held you back, glaring at you for drawing the attention of a ghast when you cast Thunder Wave in its direction. You gave him an apologetic smile before he fatally stabbed the ghast in the chest. 

Bloodied and burnt out, you and your companions finally found a decent place to camp, close to the monastery that Lae’zel was sure housed the crèche. She took the lead on making a plan to enter the building and find the cure that had been promised to her all her life. You sat by the fire, listening idly to her plans, knowing full well that no one - except maybe Lae’zel herself - wanted you fighting so soon after your injury. You also knew that, should the cure be legitimate, your friends would happily accompany you back into the crèche where you could have the tadpole removed. You chose not to linger on the thought of your adventure possibly coming to an end so soon.

Unsurprisingly, Astarion sat by your side, mending a pair of pants. His knee was pressed lightly into your upper thigh as he hunched over the fabric to see his thread better. 

“You could be doing that in my tent, you know,” you said quietly, watching his fingers nimbly weave the fabric back together with needle and thread. “It’s probably easier to see what you’re doing surrounded by candles from all sides than just this fire. I don’t want you to burn yourself.”

“I’m quite skilled at seeing in darkness, thank you,” he said, not looking over at you.

You exhaled softly and leaned your head on his shoulder, effectively stretching your right side, which housed your wound. He paused momentarily, then kept going. 

“I’m okay,” you said softly, barely audible above the roaring fire and the heated discussion of possible battle strategy amongst your companions a few feet away. “I’m not going to get hurt like that again.”

Astarion sighed and halted his work on the pants. “You can’t promise that,” he said, sounding annoyed. He spoke his next words quickly, equal parts irritated and vulnerable: “You have no idea what’s coming and neither do I or any of us and I know you’re capable of protecting yourself but the least I can do right now is make sure you heal properly and don’t get hurt again because if I lost you… I wouldn’t know what to do.” He cleared his throat and looked back down at the fabric in his lap. “Or… whatever.” 

You smiled softly and lifted your head from his shoulder to kiss his cheek. “I adore you.”

He exhaled an amused breath through his nose. “You’re fine, too.” 

“Thank you for looking out for me.”

He sighed dramatically. “It’s been dreadful.”

You laughed. “I can’t even begin to imagine the sacrifices you’ve made.”

He brought his hands up to count on his fingers. “I’ve barely slept, I’ve been drinking animal plonk as opposed to your delicious vintage, I’ve hardly killed anything in the last few days, and I haven’t been able to sleep with you for just as long, if not longer.”

You were glad he wasn’t looking right at you, otherwise he’d surely see the flush on your cheeks. “You’ve been sleeping with me nearly every night.”

He nudged your unwounded side with his elbow. “You know what I mean.”

You smirked. “I miss you too,” you said. “And I’m sorry. You don’t need to be giving up all of that for me.”

He leaned his head on top of yours which had found its way back to his shoulder. “Just… heal, would you? You wretched thing.”

You reached your hand to rest on top of his knee. “You must be starving.”

“In more ways than one,” he growled teasingly in your ear. 

“I’m serious.”

“As am I. But your blood stays off limits until I’m sure you’re done bleeding.”

You made a frustrated noise. “I haven’t bled in days, you stubborn leech. And you nearly killed me the first time you drank from me, so really, what’s the difference?”

“Yes, but we weren’t us back then. You were just some bard that I crash landed on a horrid beach with.” 

“Hmm,” you hummed through pursed lips.

Now Astarion bent to kiss your cheek. “I’m just being extra careful, my sweet.” He moved his mouth to your ear. “And… it’ll be all the more exquisite when I finally taste you again.”

“Ah,” you said. “So you’re edging yourself.”

Astarion sputtered, “That’s not-” Then he smirked. “And what would you know about edging?”

You swallowed thickly. “Enough.”

He chuckled darkly. “Noted.”

It was quieter now, as your companions had dispersed to their own tents to prepare for tomorrow’s journey to the crèche. 

Still, Astarion kept his voice down. “I have an important question for you though, my darling.”

“And what would that be?”

“Whose belongings should we peruse first tomorrow while everyone’s gone?”

~~~~~

The only interesting items you’d found while snooping around camp the next day were cheap erotic novels hidden among both Shadowheart’s and Wyll’s possessions. 

Everyone, minus Halsin, who was sticking around the edge of camp planning a way through the Shadow Cursed Lands, had made their way to the crèche only a few hours before. 

“‘The Salty Mermaid,’” you’d said, waggling your eyebrows at Astarion who was rifling through Wyll’s tent. 

“You’ll never believe this, darling.” He turned to show you the same book, its illustrated cover even more worn than the copy you’d found in one of Shadowheart’s bags. 

“Shut up,” you said, leaning forward to snatch the book from his hand and holding the copies side by side. Both depicted a shirtless man gazing into the eyes of a beautiful, topless mermaid, her torso turned tastefully away from view. Their mouths were parted slightly in anticipation of a steaming kiss, ocean mist spraying over them and the rock they were perched on in the middle of the ocean. Wyll’s copy looked as though it had been read dozens of times over the span of many years, while Shadowheart’s was newer and gave the impression that it had been opened frequently, given the way the cover refused to rest against the first page.

“This is outrageous,” Astarion said, sitting behind you and resting his chin on your shoulder to look at both books. 

You turned your head to look at him. “Didn’t take those two for naughty book lovers?”

“What? Oh, no, everyone in this camp is a deeply sad, depraved creature, that’s not it.”

You snorted. “Okay, so what-”

“It’s that they didn’t think to include us in their little book club!” His hand gestured wildly between the covers. “You and I read all the time!”

“We don’t know they’re reading them together,” you pointed out. “Maybe it’s a coincidence.”

Astarion looked at you skeptically. “Do you really believe that?”

You thought for a moment. Honestly, you weren’t sure. Your nights had been occupied spending time with the man currently wrapped delicately around your midsection. You couldn’t be sure that your companions hadn’t started a book club without you. It brought a small smile to your face, imagining your friends bonding with each other without your help.

Astarion didn’t wait for you to answer. “Let’s at least see what all the fuss is about.” He leaned forward slightly, careful not to jostle your right side and took Wyll’s book from your hand. He flipped open to a random page as you set Shadowheart’s book on your lap. You leaned your head against his, which was still resting on your shoulder, and read along with him. He tilted his head slightly to read slowly and seductively in your ear. 

“Fabian ran his calloused fingers along Allura’s scales. Her tail quivered in response.” He held out the “s,” as if hissing, and nipped at your ear.

You flinched in surprise and smacked him gently on the side of the head. 

He chuckled and continued. “‘Taste me,’ Allura pleaded. Fabian smashed his lips against hers and their tongues twisted together like two eels in the Sword Sea.”

You barely withheld a laugh. “Trying to seduce me with eels again, I see.” 

Astarion narrowed his eyes, rereading the passage in disbelief. “Oh, gods dammit.”

You nuzzled the side of his head with your own. “It’s working better this time,” you admitted.

“Oh?” Astarion pulled back and met you with a wicked grin. 

You nodded and watched his mouth as he leaned in to kiss you before pulling back just out of his reach. He opened his eyes and gave you a puzzled expression. 

“I didn’t say it worked completely.” You pushed his nose lightly to turn his face away from yours and back to the book in his hands. 

“Why you-” He dropped the book unceremoniously and brought both his hands to your cheeks to kiss you firmly. You laughed against his mouth before giving in and opening up for him.

“Astarion,” came Halsin’s voice from a few yards away. 

Astarion immediately disconnected the kiss and shot a deadly glare at the bear. 

Halsin hadn’t been looking. Instead he’d been focusing down at what he was holding - a half carved piece of wood, something that was beginning to look like a rabbit. When he finally looked up, he halted in his tracks. 

“My apologies,” he said, holding his hands up in a showing of peace, “I merely wanted to ask Astarion for a better knife. It appears my proper carving tools are lost somewhere within our wares.”

“Hi Halsin,” you said nonchalantly. 

Halsin chuckled. “I didn’t mean to disturb your fun.”

“Fun? What fun? We never have fun.” You nudged Astarion who was still staring daggers at Halsin. 

Astarion sighed and settled his chin back on your shoulder. “Relax, darling, I’m sure Halsin knows all about the kind of fun we have together.” 

Halsin nodded. “Far be it from me to interrupt a spry couple preparing to partake in one of nature’s greatest gifts.”

“Ugh,” Astarion groaned in disgust and you felt your cheeks go red. “You make it sound awful.”

“It’s only natural-”

“Did you check our Traveler’s Chest for your carving tools?” you desperately tried to change the subject. “It’s possible one of us packed them in there by mistake.”

Halsin snapped his fingers. “Of course! And the Traveler’s Chest would be…”

You pointed in the direction of the chest, which was thankfully on the other side of camp. 

Halsin followed your gaze and nodded again. “I shall investigate the chest. Sorry once again.” He started to leave the two of you but turned back around.  “Remember to be careful of your wound.” He gestured to your right side and you absently held your hand to the tender area. “Nothing worse than an injury worsened in the throes of passion.”

“Goodbye, Halsin,” Astarion waved him off. 

Halsin chuckled once more, then left the area. You and Astarion remained silent for a moment, watching him go. 

You looked over at him. “Moment over?”

“So incredibly over,” Astarion lifted his chin from your shoulder and crawled around to sit next to you. “But the druid’s right. You’re still hurt.”

You huffed some hair out of your face. “And you’re still a drama queen.”

Astarion gasped and held a hand to his chest dramatically. “How dare you.”

“I’m fine!” you insisted. “Watch this!” 

You stood and leaned your body to the left, stretching your right side and lifting your right arm over your head.

“See?”

Astarion cocked his head to the side. “Impressive. Now stretch the other way.”

You remained upright and ramrod straight. “I don’t want to.”

“Because…?”

“Because…” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, fuck you! You know why.”

“Because you’re still sore-”

“Yes, because I’m still sore.” You sat beside him again and muttered, “killjoy.”

Astarion stood and reached for your hands, holding them in both of his own. “Call me whatever names you like, it won’t change my mind.” He leaned forward and kissed you softly. 

You frowned at him. “Asshole.”

Kiss. “Darling.” 

“Bat brain.”

Kiss. “Beautiful.” 

“Priss.”

Kiss. “My- hey.” He pulled himself back to look down his nose at you. “I’m not a priss,  I’m simply surrounded by frumps. And Shadowheart.”

You scoffed and reached up to brush your hand through his curls, mussing them ever so slightly. 

“Hey!” he exclaimed, pushing you away and reaching up to fix his hair. 

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at him. 

He glared back and rolled his eyes. “Did I not just call you ‘beautiful?’”

“One of your frequent pet names,” you waved him off playfully and went to pick up Shadowheart and Wyll’s discarded books. “It means next to nothing.”

Astarion turned to watch you. “That’s not true.”

You laughed. “You call everyone ‘darling.’” 

“That’s different.” 

“How so?”

If he were still alive, you’d be able to feel his body heat as he stepped closer to you. He looked up towards the sky and moved his hands around as if searching for the correct words. 

“‘Darling’ has always been a lovely blanket term of endearment for victims whose names I didn’t bother to learn but needed to entice.”

You stiffened, thrown off by his honest answer. “Oh.”

He met your eye. “People like feeling seen, and ‘darling’ does the job quite nicely. Call it a habit now, I suppose.”

You smirked at him. “You know my name, right?”

He smiled sideways in return. “Who are you again?”

“Good answer.”

“Honestly though, darling,” he said, before shaking his head and saying your name instead. “‘Darling’ isn’t anything special to me, that’s true,” he placed his hands firmly on your upper arms, just below your shoulders, “but you are.”

You exhaled a shaky breath, trying but failing not to shrink under his intense gaze. “Another good answer.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. “Look at me, please.” 

You met his eye again and saw his features soften. 

“I’ve never called someone ‘beautiful’ and not meant it.”

You raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Really. In all the times you had to seduce people, you never called someone you weren’t attracted to ‘beautiful’ just to make things go faster?”

Astarion rubbed absent minded circles into your arms with his thumbs. “In those instances, I preferred referring to them as, ‘striking.’”

You snorted. “You can’t be serious.”

“I could say ‘dead serious,’ but that would be atrocious, so I won’t.”

“‘Striking,’” you repeated, laughing a little at the vagueness of it. “I guess that could mean anything.”

Astarion nodded. “Exactly.” He shifted his hands up to your shoulders. “But you, my sweet, are exquisite.” 

You smiled shyly. “I could say ‘aw shucks,’ but then you’d kill me, so I won’t.”

He pushed himself away from you again. “You are infuriating.”

Dropping the books once more, you reached for his wrist as he backed away. “No, no, I’m sorry,” you said as you brought his hand to your mouth to kiss his knuckles. “Tell me more about how beautiful I am.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically before his features settled into a seductive grin. He reached forward and pulled you closer by the waist. His voice was low and flirtatious when he said, “I told you on that first night I had my way with you that you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” He shifted his head to nip at your ear, “I meant that.”

A shiver went through your body and you closed your eyes. “Really?”

Astarion scoffed. “I wouldn’t willingly attach myself to just anyone, darling.” He kissed your neck. “For one thing, there’s this gorgeous neck of yours.”

You let out an amused sigh. “Go on…”

“Your eyes,” he said, shifting up to bear his crimson gaze into yours, “they sparkle like anything. I can’t say I’ve ever seen eyes more lovely.” You blinked at him, unsure of what to say. He continued, “Especially when you’re laughing. Preferably at something clever I’ve said.”

That made you laugh. “You’re not always as clever as you think.”

He smiled back at you. “So long as I keep seeing that dazzling smile, I shall make a fool of myself.” After a beat, he clarified, “But only for you.”

If you weren’t careful, you might cry. “You sweet, stupid man.”

“Speaking of that smile; that mouth of yours. I could eat you right up.” 

He bent to kiss you deeply but you pulled away to giggle. “And you have!”

“And I have,” he agreed, succeeding in kissing you this time. 

Your mouth moved against his slowly, keeping in time with him, and you brought your arms up to wrap around his neck. As the kiss became more intense, his tongue licking into your mouth, your heart picked up speed, which sent Astarion groaning against your lips.

“That delicious heartbeat,” he said dreamily, breaking the kiss. “It’s as sweet as any song you’ve ever played, my love.”

Your eyes shot open as he brought his face down to your throat again to kiss your pulse point. Based on his body language and the sensual way he continually kissed your neck, you had a feeling he didn’t realize what he’d said. He kept talking.

“Your heartbeat means you're alive,” he placed a kiss on your collarbone. “And that you’re here,” a kiss to your chest. “With me,” a kiss atop your clothed left breast, above your pounding heart. “Not to mention it’s the source of my favorite meal,” he pulled back to look at you with a goofy grin that he quickly morphed into one of seduction. When he saw your bewildered expression, his face fell into one of concern. “What is it?”

You shook your head and blinked rapidly, attempting to keep your composure. “Astarion,” you said, your voice full of adoration, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What’s wrong?” His tone was instantly serious and stern. “Did something happen?” He inspected your right side as if you may have started bleeding again. 

Laughter bubbled out of your chest at his sudden shift in demeanor. This man cared for you so deeply it almost hurt. And it was so blatantly obvious to everyone but himself.

“There’s nothing wrong, dummy,” you said, tapping the tip of his nose to bring his attention back to you. 

He looked at you questioningly and saw nothing but affection in your eyes. “Then…” he leaned in closer, drawn in by the softness of your features, “what is it?”

You leaned in as well, watching his mouth and subconsciously wetting your lips in preparation for what you were about to say. “I…” you eyes began to close, “lo-”

“Tsk'va!”

You and Astarion froze, your mouths inches apart. 

“That wasn’t you, was it?” he muttered. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, swatting his cheek lightly and pulling away.

Lae’zel was standing not too far off, covered in blood, staring at the two of you with an intense ire that had you both nearly jumping away from each other. “You feeble wretches are delighting in intercourse whilst the Lich Queen lies to her kin about purification and I nearly lose my life as a result.”

Astarion straightened and looked at his nails, bored. “Oh, is that all?”

You gave him a look before stepping forward to offer comfort. “What happened?”

Lae’zel looked between you and Astarion before furrowing her brows and marching off to her tent. “She may yet purify me!” she called angrily, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone.

The rest of your party stumbled into camp not far behind. They, too, were drenched in blood and looking worse for wear. You approached them immediately, Astarion reluctantly on your heels. 

“Is everyone okay?” you quickly looked over everyone and didn’t note any major injuries.

“We’re alright,” Wyll assured and nodded to Shadowheart, “no thanks to Shadowheart.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” she groaned. “Let’s see if we survive the night.” She gestured towards Lae’zel who was angrily shedding her armor and shrieking frustratedly with each discarded piece.

You looked back at the others and repeated, “What happened?”

“Our little dream visitor had some rather enlightening news for our githyanki friend,” Gale sighed, wiping his brow. 

“Well hang on now,” Karlach said. “Her people, or rather, some random doctor lady, tried to kill her first!”

Wyll nodded solemnly. “Not to mention that fearsome god of hers threatened our lives.”

You inhaled sharply. Even Astarion looked surprised. “What?”

“Why do the gods favor you people?” Astarion crossed his arms. “They never answered me when I called.”

“Now, now, Astarion,” Gale said, “this was not a meeting on the most benevolent of terms.”

Astarion rolled his eyes. “So were you able to kill her or something? Is that why you’re all drenched in what smells like an absurd amount of gith blood?”

“Kill a god?” Wyll laughed lightly. “Be serious, Astarion.”

The vampire shrugged. “I don’t know what you lot are capable of, we just met.”

“‘Just met?!’” Shadowheart scoffed incredulously. “And you think you could have taken on a god? You and what? Those sharp teeth of yours?”

“If you’d like to see what they’re capable of, darling, you need only ask.” He flashed her a malicious grin. 

“Astarion,” you caught his eye and shook your head slightly. 

“If killing that overgrown creep were an option, I gladly would have taken it,” Karlach punched at her open palm. “I can’t stand bullies.”

Halsin now entered the fray. “Peace,” he said calmly. “Everyone should get cleaned up and inspected for injuries, then we can discuss the events of the créche.”

You turned to look for Lae’zel, but her tent was empty. You assumed she’d gotten a jumpstart on the cleaning process. 

“Why is my book in the dirt?!” Shadowheart exclaimed. “Astarion!”

“I think it’s time I go for a hunt,” Astarion kissed you swiftly. “You can handle this, can’t you darling?” Then he took off at a brisk pace down the side of the mountain. 

~~~~~

After Lae’zel and the others had cleaned themselves up and bandaged their shallow wounds, you’d all sat around the fire to discuss what had occurred at the crèche and what the dream visitor had told Lae’zel of Vlaakith’s deception towards the purification process.

That night, Kith’rak Voss and his group of rebel githyanki warriors had visited you and your companions, telling you all that the Astral Prism held the key to Vlaakith’s undoing. He’d also promised to explain more and provide help once you reached Baldur’s Gate. 

“Why must they always be so cryptic,” Astarion had muttered to you from where you stood behind Lae’zel, allowing her to take the lead on this. “If the Prism is a source of unnamed power, then I think we have a right to know about it.” He pouted and you elbowed him lightly. 

As you were preparing to leave for the Shadow Cursed Lands the next day, Elminster appeared, bearing a message for Gale from Mystra. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you’d steamed after the old wizard left, “you’re not blowing yourself up, Gale. I won’t let you.”

“She’s right,” Astarion agreed. You turned and gave him a surprised look. He shrugged. “Sacrificing Gale to the Absolute is a waste of a perfectly good cult we could be controlling.” When you rolled your eyes, he amended, “And a waste of a perfectly good Gale, I suppose.”

“I am touched, Astarion,” Gale said before turning his attention back on you. “Let’s save such certainty about my fate for the moment such a decision is upon us. You may feel differently, once we know what we’re truly up against.” 

Thus your party kept packing up in preparation to leave for the Shadow Cursed Lands, which Halsin had discovered an entrance to, not far from your camp. 

Upon entering, the suffocating nature of the dark hit you instantly, and you felt a shift in your party the more you shuffled into the area. 

Astarion held out an arm to stop you from going any further, away from the lit fire you’d found near the entrance. “Can you feel that?” 

“You mean the impending sense of doom?” Karlach asked. “Yeah, I feel it.”

Astarion ignored her. “The dark, it’s… hungry. Best watch the shadows.”

Lae’zel scoffed. “How can darkness feel anything, let alone require sustenance?”

“That’s not-” Astarion sighed. “Oh, nevermind. Just… stay close to the light.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Wyll said, grabbing a torch from the lit fire near the entrance. 

Shadowheart gazed into the distance, straining her eyes to see into the dark. “This place… there’s power in these shadows, I can sense it.”

Astarion snorted. “Shadowheart feeling one with the shadows. A little on the nose there, darling.”

Shadowheart shot him a deathly glare that had him look over at you for protection. You patted his shoulder in response.

“She’s right, though,” Gale agreed. “I’ve never seen such a concentration of shadow magic. We must forge on, but carefully. It will corrupt any who lack the power to control it.”

“Best get a move on, then,” Halsin siad, grabbing a torch in one hand and your party’s ox cart with the other. 

Wyll took the lead with his torch, while the rest of you grabbed your own. You and Astarion brought up the rear as you all made your way through the darkness. He was uncharacteristically quiet as you went. 

“Everything okay?” you asked him quietly, making sure the others wouldn’t be able to hear you. 

Astarion’s eyes were darting around, on high alert, but he looked over at you when you reached for his free hand with your own. “It feels like we’re being watched,” he said, returning his eyes to scanning your surroundings. “Hunted, even. But there’s nothing out there,” he looked in your direction but was focusing on the darkness behind you, “only more darkness.”

You nodded, and joined him in scanning the surrounding area. 

“I much prefer it when I’m the one prowling in the shadows, about to strike.”

“Ooh,” you said, shaking your voice as if telling a scary story, “scaaaary.”

Astarion looked at you with a scowl that you could see was concealing a laugh. “Sorry, did you want something?” He stepped closer to you, bringing his face inches away from yours. “Or just looking for a distraction?” He looked down at your lips. 

“I-” you looked at his lips as well and watched as his mouth formed into a grin. 

“Look alive, lovebirds,” Karlach turned back to face you two. “Movement up ahead.”

Instinctively, Astarion pulled you to him, shielding your right side with his body from possible attacks.

It was then that your party came across a group of Absolute worshippers, seeking passage across the Shadow Cursed Lands to Moonrise Towers with the help of a drider named Kar’niss, who brandished a magical lantern of some kind. You all played along, brandishing your True Soul statuses in order to gain favor and join the cultists on their journey deeper into the shadows. You even offered to play the Spider's Lyre, which Wyll had found and given to you in the Underdark, in order to summon the drider. 

Astarion made it a point of keeping you close, despite the cultists giving you no trouble.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, bumping his hip with your own.

He scoffed. “Oh, so you trust the arachnid is totally sane and won’t turn on us at any given moment?”

“Well-” He made a good point. While Kar’niss had done nothing to prove he was an imminent danger to you, his words were erratic and he’d snapped at you earlier for offering to carry his lantern.

“Wait…” Kar’niss hissed suddenly, holding his lantern aloft in front of what appeared to be a long abandoned house. “Something’s wrong, Majesty.”

“He’s right,” Astarion said quietly, drawing his daggers, “I can sense blood pumping in that building.”

“Should we do something?” Wyll asked.

“Shhh,” Shadowheart hushed. “We don’t know where they are, exactly. Do you want them to spring out at us while they still have the element of surprise?”

“Not particularly,” said Wyll, just as Lae’zel said “Yes,” and drew her greatsword from her back.

“Who’s there?” Kar’niss called. “Show yourself!”

From within the house came a male voice, shouting, “Harpers, attack!” 

“Harpers?” Karlach repeated.

The man continued yelling orders. “Kill the cultists… and get that lantern!”

“HERETICS!” Kar’niss shrieked. “VILLAINS IN THE DARK!”

“Soldier,” Karlach turned to you, a frantic look in her eyes, “Those are Harpers!”

Your own eyes widened. Harpers were known for protecting the innocent from evils across the realms. It made sense why they would want to attack cultists of the Absolute. 

“Wait!” you shouted and ran forward as Astarion called your name, trying to stop you. “We can help!” You spoke to the man leading this gang of Harpers.

The man looked you up and down as Astarion approached you with his knives still drawn, ready to pounce. “Hurt her, and you die,” he growled, dropping into a low stance.

You exhaled. “Sorry about the guard dog.”

“Careful,” Astarion said lowly, “I bite.” He gnashed his teeth at the group of Harpers surveying you closely. 

A woman with long curly hair stepped forward. “Prove we can trust you.”

You nodded and took your lute off your back, strumming a quick tune that had the deep purple magic of Shatter sparking at your fingertips. You turned back towards the cultists, who were now sandwiched between the Harpers and your party. You friends took the hint and drew their own weapons. 

“What are they doing?” Kar’niss eclaimed. “We thought they were True Souls! Traitors! Heathens!”

“Darling, are you sure about this?” Astarion asked, watching you carefully, checking for any signs that you weren’t ready to fight. 

You looked over at him and winked, casting a powerful Shatter that sent the cultists flying in every direction. 

The battle that followed was thankfully not as bad as it could have been, thanks to the help from the Harpers. Astarion had remained by your side the whole time, maneuvering the two of you out of the way whenever an attack landed closeby. He dutifully shielded your right side, stabbing the hobgoblin rather brutally when he lunged at you. 

When the battle ended and it was clear that no one had been injured too severely, you approached Kar’niss’ lantern and picked it up. Its chilly glow appeared to protect you all far better from the Shadow Curse than your long since discarded torches. 

The male Harper who you’d pleaded to at the start of the battle now approached you. “Incredible magic,” he said, indicating the lantern. “I can feel the light lifting the shadows - even those within me.”

Astarion laughed quietly at his remark, and you kicked the vampire in the shin. 

“Find us at the Last Light Inn,” the Harper said, pulling out a map and pointing to a small building by the river. 

“Thank you,” you said, marking the location on your own map.

“Be safe,” he said with a nod. “And be brave. We expect no less. Thank you for your help.” With that, he and his other Harpers made their way deeper into the shadows, accompanied by their own torches. 

“Could we not have gone with them?” Karlach asked.

“Probably had other Harperly duties to take care of,” Gale reasoned. 

“We should probably start heading that way anyway,” you said. “My magic’s depleted and I could use some sleep.”

“Agreed,” Halsin said, stretching his arms above his head and grabbing the ox cart once again. “It will be a relief to rest these weary bones upon a mattress for once.”

“Hmm,” Shadowheart mused, “is grass not cutting it for you anymore?”

“Far from it,” Halsin said. “But even I can appreciate the pleasures of a warm bed every once in a while.”

~~~~~

“Unfortunately, there is only one room available,” Jaheira said flatly when you all entered the inn and approached her at her desk.

Astarion scoffed. “Didn’t you just say outside that there were beds, plural, if we needed rest?” 

“It would seem I lied,” she said, looking through a book that you assumed showed current room assignments. “Oops.” She didn’t sound remorseful. “Looks like you’ll have to decide amongst yourselves who gets the room. The rest of you can make camp in the back. There’s plenty of room under Isobel’s light to keep you sheltered from the Curse.”

“Thank you, Jaheira!” Karlach said excitedly.

Jaheira smiled at Karlach’s enthusiasm and held out a goblet of wine to her. “Please,” she said, her tone suddenly very kind, “be welcome.” She handed a goblet to you as well. “Have a drink.”

“Oh my gods,” Karlach muttered, sharing an excited look with you. 

“To your very good health,” Jaheira said, raising her own cup towards all of you. 

Karlach was practically vibrating with excitement next to you. 

“You’ll have to excuse my friend, Karlach,” you said with a smile. “She’s very excited to meet you.”

She giggled, embarrassed. “Tsh. Yeah.” Her face fell just then, as if realizing she wasn’t being formal enough with her hero. She stooped into a low bow. “I mean… It's an honor. M’lady.”

“I will gladly drink to your health as well, Karlach.” Jaheira’s eyes sparkled with amusement. 

You raised your goblet to mimic Jaheira’s and went to take a sip, but were instead met with the back of Astarion’s hand. Your mouth crushed against his skin.

“You did not seriously just take a sip from a drink given to you by a stranger,” he said in horrified disbelief. 

“I was trying to,” you offered Jaheira an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t expecting to kiss the back of your hand,” you said through clenched teeth. 

Astarion took the goblet from you. “Give me that.”

Karlach had been just about to take a sip, but thought better of it and watched Astarion. 

He sniffed the contents of the goblet. “Klauthgrass,” he said with a wrinkle of his nose. 

“It doesn’t spoil the taste,” Jaheira offered, “if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Astarion rolled his eyes and shoved the goblet back into your hand, training his own hands above his sheathed daggers. “She’s trying to feed you a truth serum.”

“Astarion,” you said calmly, as if soothing a startled animal, “it’s okay.” You set the goblet down and reached for both of his hands, pulling them away from his daggers. “She just wants to protect her people. You can respect that, can’t you, my love?”

“Ah,” Jaheira nodded. “‘My love.’ It is admirable that the cub wants to protect his mate.” 

“She’s not-” Astarion sputtered. “We’re just-” He groaned loudly. “I don’t trust you,” he pointed an accusatory finger at the Harper. 

“Oh no,” her tone was flat again. “How ever shall I sleep tonight.”

Before Astarion could protest more, you took a sip of the drink. 

He gasped. “Darling, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Building trust,” you said, smiling at Jaheira.

Her features echoed your own and she took a sip as well. 

“Ah, what the hells,” Karlach said. “Bottoms up!” She downed her own goblet.

“You’re all idiots and I hope you die,” Astarion crossed his arms. 

Shadowheart laughed. “Isn’t the whole reason you’re being so dramatic because your mate almost died?”

“Watch yourself, cleric,” his words were icy, but Shadowheart couldn’t contain her snort.

Jaheira took another sip. “Well over a century old and yet it hasn’t lost a hint of its flavor.”

“Let’s have a taste, then,” Wyll pushed his way forward and took the goblet from you.

“I must see for myself if Astarion’s suspicions are warranted,” Lae’zel took Karlach’s goblet, “and if the wine is as good as this woman says.”

“No, no,” Astarion said sarcastically, “let’s all partake in the poison! Shadowheart? Gale? Halsin? What’s stopping you?”

Shadowheart crossed her arms. “I’ve packed my own wine that I don’t plan on sharing with you all, thank you very much.”

Gale, meanwhile, appeared to be reading a book he’d found discarded somewhere in the bar. “Pardon? Is something the matter?”

Astarion rolled his eyes and turned to Halsin who held up his hands in surrender.

“I rarely imbibe, the stuff goes right to my head. I doubt anyone wants to see that.”

“Mmm, yes, save it.” Astarion turned back to you and the others. “So we’re all going to tell the truth now, that’s great. Go ahead, Jaheira, ask away.”

“There’s an air about you,” she said, addressing you instead of the seething vampire to your right. “Something… alien.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Astarion muttered.

“Answer me true and do not lie,” she didn’t flinch when Astarion scoffed, and pressed on. “The parasite is changing you, isn’t it?”

You could feel the effects of the serum willing your mouth to form a truthful answer. You let it. “It’s trying to change me. To win me over. But I’m resisting its temptations.”

Jaheira looked you up and down. “And you’re certain you will continue to resist?” 

You nodded. “Yes.” The truth.

“Good,” you saw Jaheira’s shoulders relax. “I will take your word for it. And hold you to it, too.”

You looked over at Astarion, whose arms were still crossed. He scowled at Jaheira who turned to address him this time.

“I have every reason to be cautious.” She exhaled a frustrated sigh. “I’ve traced people like you.”

“Oh, have you.” Astarion rolled his eyes for what was likely the tenth time this evening.

Jaheira tilted her head. “People with parasites in their brains. All the way here from Baldur’s Gate.”

“A long journey, indeed,” Gale said.

Astarion laughed humorlessly. “Good of you to finally join us, Gale.”

Wyll cleared his throat. “And what of the city?” 

Jaheira turned to him this time. “The cult of the Absolute is spreading through the Gate. Quietly, quickly, and with unsettling deliberation.” 

“Gods…” Wyll breathed. “My father…” Gale patted his arm reassuringly.

“We tracked them to this ancient village,” Jaheira looked down at a map in front of her displaying the entirety of the Shadow Cursed Lands, and pointed to a village not far off, “only to be faced with a man we killed and buried over a century ago.” 

“Who was - is - he?” you asked, furrowing your brow. 

Jaheira paused briefly when she saw Karlach yawn. “General Ketheric Thorm. Remember that name. He’s the leader of the Absolutists.”

“How can we help?” you stepped forward, determined.

“Ugh,” Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose. “Really, my sweet, is now the time to be playing hero?”

“The vampire is right,” said Jaheira. “We can save this discussion for the morning.”

“Vampire?” Astarion repeated, laughing lightly. “What do you- I’m not-” He slumped. “What gave it away?”

She smirked. “Nearly everything about you. And I have experience with your kind.”

You and your companions snickered, and Astarion shot you all death glares. 

“Yes well… it’s been such a delight chatting with you, Jaheira, but I think now’s the time to discuss the room situation.” Astarion turned around so that his back faced Jaheira, effectively cutting her out of the conversation. 

She laughed. “When you decide who gets the room, it’s next to the bar, on the right.” Just as she was about to leave and take care of other matters, she turned back. “Do keep it down if it’s you two who get the room,” she gestured to you and Astarion. “The walls aren’t as thick here as you think they are. Those sitting around the bar will hear you and tell me all about it and I’d… prefer to remain in the dark if it’s all the same to you.”

“Jaheira!” Astarion scoffed. “What do you think of me?”

“Prove me wrong, vampling,” she winked at you and went on her way.

Shadowheart placed her hands on her hips. “Go on, Astarion. Make a case for why the two of you are in desperate need of the room.”

Astarion looked at his nails. “Well, darling, it’s just that we’ve had such little time to ourselves-”

Halsin interrupted. “I’m… going to set up camp outside. I yield my claim to the room and will gladly sleep under the stars. Or… I suppose there are no stars here. Regardless-” he turned on his heel and walked out the front door to reunite with your ox cart full of camp supplies.

“I’ll join him,” said Wyll.

“Right behind you,” Karlach agreed.

“Okay,” Gale looked around at those remaining. “That leaves four of us, considering you two as a unit.” He pointed between you and Astarion, the latter of which looked offended, but you grabbed his hand and squeezed it before he had a chance to argue.

Lae’zel adjusted her greatsword in her arms. “It is tradition among githyanki that those who performed best in battle should have the most comfortable sleeping chambers.”

Gale furrowed his brow. “Is that true? I’ve yet to read anything about that in my extended research on the githyanki people.”

Lae’zel shrugged.

Shadowheart spoke next. “It’s just that I drained so much of my magic healing everyone on the battlefield today. I think I deserve to sleep in comfort to replenish my power since we have no clue what tomorrow brings.” Then she quickly added, “Since we’re in her domain, I’d say it’s as if Lady Shar herself wills it.”

Astarion snorted. “Like hells she does.” He turned to Gale. “And what’s your excuse?”

“The knees,” Gale said, bending his knees for you all to hear an audible crack. “Too many nights on the ground will do no favors for one’s aching joints.”

You could see where this was going. There would be a constant back and forth until a loud argument inevitably broke out in the middle of the inn. You knew it was a bit devious, but you decided to get the jumpstart on ending the argument. 

You took Astarion’s hand. “Come on, Astarion,” you said with a sigh, “we can rough it outside for another night.”

He didn’t budge. “You can’t be serious, darling.”

“I am serious- Oh.” you paused in trying to get Astarion to follow you and reached for your right side. “Ow,” you said slowly.

Astarion said your name, his voice laced with worry.

“Oh gods,” you blinked your eyes several times, tears filling your vision.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Astarion brushed hair out of your face and placed his hands on your cheeks. 

“I don’t know,” you said shakily. “I suddenly got a sharp pain in my side. I think my wound may have opened again.” 

“Oh for gods’ sakes,” Shadowheart rolled her eyes and held out her hand to scan you for injuries with her magic. “You know what, if it’s that important to you, you can have it.” With that, she left after the others.

“Are you alright?” Gale asked. 

“I know what would make her feel better,” Astarion said, catching on to your ruse. 

“Do not say the room,” Lae’zel glowered at him.

“The room,” Astarion said anyway. 

“Chk,” she spat. “Fine. Have your precious alone time. But when they kick you out for pleasuring each other too loudly, I get the room in your stead.”

“Uh… if that’s the case, she can have it after you two.” Gale smiled painfully. “I shall concede as well. If only so I can grab some shut eye without your loud-”

“Ooowww,” you moaned.

“Good gods, man!” Astarion exclaimed, clutching you to his chest as if you were made of glass. “How can you think of sex at a time like this! My precious treasure is wounded!”

“I mean, Lae’zel alluded to it first-” Gale pointed to where Lae’zel had been standing, only to see that she had already left. “Ah. I guess I’ll take my leave as well.”

“Ow! Gods, it hurts!” you wailed.

“Get out of here!” Astarion practically yelled at the wizard.

Gale sighed. “Goodnight you two.”

“Goodnight Gale!” you called after him sweetly.

When he turned back to look at you, you were limp in Astarion’s arms, one of your own arms thrown dramatically over your eyes.

“Now look what you’ve done!” It was Astarion’s turn to wail. 

“Alright!” Gale turned and held up his hands in frustration. “I’m going!”

When he was finally gone, Astarion pulled you into him for a long, passionate kiss. “You are the perfect woman,” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. 

“I’ll have to remind you of that the next time I annoy you,” you laughed and took his hand, leading him to the room.

Jaheira’s voice sounded from the second floor, “I would appreciate it if you did not yell while my Harpers and our guests are trying to sleep.” Despite her stern tone, her expression revealed mild amusement. 

“Sorry, Jaheira,” you whispered loud enough for her to hear you from the railing she bent over. 

“Good night, cubs.” She waved her hand and left you and Astarion to settle into your room.

~~~~~

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Unfortunately tumblr thought this piece was too long (WHOOPS!) so I had to split it into two parts. The second part can be found here.

[rebeliz7]

Dangerous

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader / Natasha Romanoff x Reader / Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff

Request: 32 & 64 prompts for Wanda or Natasha or maybe both😏

32. “If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

64. “You’re not taking me to bed. ever.” “Who said it had to be on the bed?”

…

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me God.” Natasha threatens you, annoyed and left eye twitching. 

She’s not being serious, at least not entirely, but you still raise your hands in surrender and lean back in your seat. 

However, her eyes stay firmly locked with yours, and you have to smile at how worked up she seems. She rolls her eyes when you smile, just like you were expecting her to, and the meeting moves along. 

You weren’t interrupting her exactly, but it’s become intensely apparent that your presence annoys the hell out of Natasha. Whatever the reason.  

Not that you go out of your way to annoy her, that’s not the case at all. The thing is, and you’ve been aware of this for a while now, you make her nervous. So nervous that she doesn’t know how to deal with you. 

No one else seems to be aware of that little fact, although the entire Avengers Team lives together for the time being. But Natasha knows that you know, which makes her angry. 

Irrationally so, you must say. 

“She’s gonna get you one of these days.” Clint warns you in a low voice. 

“Yeah, but not today.” You joke, and Clint laughs softly to himself. 

“You don’t wanna push Nat. Trust me.” 

“Oh I'm not worried, trust me.”

…

The meeting ends on a neutral note, since Sam and Bucky lost track of their target on their latest mission. A team needs to fly out to Mexico to lend a hand and things will get a move on again. 

Steve and Clint are going, and so is Shuri. This is not Shuri’s first mission, but you take it upon yourself to get her as ready as she can be before they fly out. 

She’s grown on you, in a 'younger sister' sort of way. You guess it's because she’s younger than you, and so amazingly smart, that her awe for everything you guys do endears her to you greatly. 

“Don’t get killed while I’m gone.” She tells you as you walk her into the hanger, and you’re tempted to laugh. 

“You’re going on a mission with Barton, you’re the one that should be worried. I’ll be fine right here.”

“True, but Natasha is about to kick your ass into a coma if you keep pushing her.” She reminds you, and you huff indignantly. 

“Why does everyone think she can kick my ass that easily?” You ask loudly, just as Clint comes out of the jet with a pointed look. 

“Because she can.” He deadpans. “And she will if you don’t give her some space.”

“I didn’t hear any of that.” You pointendly tell him while Shuri gives you a goodbye hug. “Still trying to process this lack of faith from both of you in my fighting skills.”

“Keep it up.” Clint tells you with another look.

“That’s what she said.” You joke, and you hear Shuri laugh too. Clint chuckles and shakes his head at you, probably thinking that you’re gonna get your ass kicked for real.  

“There’s a kid here!” Steve shouts from the jet, and you run back inside before that lecture reaches your ears.  

…

When you walk inside the kitchen you find Wanda by the stove, stirring a red sauce and your spirits instantly pique up. 

“Can I have some?” You ask, coming up behind her. She yelps in surprise, and you press a kiss on her cheek. 

“You scared me.” She smiles, her cheeks tainting red at your proximity, and you lean against the counter as she turns off the stove before checking on the pasta. “Can you set the table? This is ready.”

She’s a pro at this, and you can't resist her cooking. 

“It smells really good. My mouth is watering already.” You tell her as you set out two plates, and her cheeks grow redder. 

You smile to yourself, and can’t deny that you’re almost inclined to kiss those cheeks again, but you resist the urge. You and Wanda didn’t exactly date, but you did sleep together a few times, and you thought of asking her out properly, but the timing was never right so nothing real ever came up from it. 

Then she moved on -with Vision of all people- and you moved on too. Not that anyone was supportive when you started dating Emma Frost, and maybe you see their point now. Emma was a wild ride, to say the least. 

Shaking your head to get rid of the memories, you pass Wanda the plates. 

“Can you get another one?” Wanda asks you. 

“This isn’t dinner for two?” You ask as you go to take down another plate, and she shakes her head. 

“Natasha is here too. She went to take a quick shower, so she'll be here any minute.”

You smile to yourself. 

...

Natasha is tempted to bolt the moment she sees you’re going to join them for dinner, and you grin when you meet her eyes. It must be infuriating that you can so easily tell what goes through her mind, when she’s spent her entire life training to be unreadable. 

You know she hates it, and often wonders how you’re capable of doing it. To be quite honest, you have no idea either. You just have this sixth sense when it comes to her, that lets you read her like an open book. 

But, you keep your mouth shut all through dinner. You behave, while Wanda and Natasha chat away. You even get seconds, and fill their glasses with more wine when they get low. 

All in all, you don’t annoy Natasha at all while you eat, and you even offer to clean up while they move to the living room with a second bottle of red to continue their conversation. 

You put the dishes in the dishwasher, wipe down all the surfaces, and when you’re done you take a beer from the fridge with the intention to leave them to it. 

“You can join us.” Natasha calls out, just as you take your first sip. 

“You sure?” You ask her, and she rolls her eyes, her go-to reaction whenever you open your mouth.

“As long as you keep the innuendos to yourself, we’re okay.” She sips her wine delicately then, and you -a mere mortal- become entranced with the shape of her lips, and the sensual way in which she drinks. 

“Sure.” You clear your throat, and drink almost half of your beer in one go. 

You’d be lying if you said that you’ve never thought of Natasha in other, much more naked circumstances, but you’re aware that that is never gonna happen, and you’re okay with it. 

“You’re uncharacteristically quiet.” Wanda notices after a while when she comes back with yet another bottle of red, and another beer for you. 

“I don’t want to annoy the pretty lady over there.” Natasha groans at your response, which only makes you smile. You almost can’t believe how easy it is for her to become agitated in your presence. 

“You gotta try harder than that.” She deadpans, and Wanda takes the seat next to yours instead of sitting in front of you, like she was before she went to the kitchen. 

“I’m not annoying, am I?” You ask Wanda, and she gives you this smile that you immediately feel drawn to. 

You breathe in deeply as she gives you this look that makes hot electricity run through you, and runs her fingers through your hair. You do miss her, especially when she’s looking at you like this and her fingers are in your hair.

“You’re quite charming.” She says, and you think she might reciprocate if you were to kiss her right now. 

“You see?” You look at Natasha, and she rolls her eyes, but not with malice. 

“Maybe I just don’t like you.” She says before sipping her newly refilled glass of wine, and you clutch your chest in mock offense. 

“You wound me.” You scoff while smiling, but deep down you do feel hurt by her words. Not a lot, but still. 

“Natasha likes you.” Wanda tells you then, and you’d think she’s joking if the look on Natasha’s face wasn’t so telling. 

“She does, huh?” You ask, mostly to yourself. 

“I thought there were things we agreed on not sharing with anyone.” Natasha reminds her, and Wanda shrugs lightly, the glass of wine close to her lips as she smiles. 

“What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom?” She asks, and with a start you realize that she’s slightly drunk, and oversharing is -unfortunately- her one obvious tell. 

That’s how everyone found out that you two were sleeping together a while ago, and right now she’s just revealed that she and Natasha are a little more than just friends.

“I swear to God, if you even think of saying anything right now.” Natasha threatens you, and you laugh, your comeback at the tip of your tongue. 

“She likes you too.” Wanda tells Natasha, her finger pointing at you, and you choke on your beer. 

“You’re not seriously trying to play matchmaker here.” Natasha’s grin is otherwise telling of how amused she’s finding this entire exchange. 

“What? It's not like I even had to look inside her head to know that.” Wanda says, and you finally put your beer down after getting your coughing fit under control. “I’m not wrong, am I?” 

She has the audacity to shoot you a smug look, as if she wasn’t throwing you under the bus here.

“Well, no.”

“Great.” Natasha sneers. 

“Okay, now hold on.” You speak up as Wanda laughs, and you take the glass of wine from her hands. She’s had enough to drink. “There are different levels of liking someone.”

“Educate us, please.” Wanda is trying to hold back laughter now, and you really - she’s just - she’s such a little shit.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly kick Nat out of my bed. But, I’m not interested in anything more than that. No offense.” You add quickly.

“None taken, and you’re not taking me to bed. Ever. So don’t worry about it.” Natasha tells you, and how can you not take that one? Sometimes she just makes it easy for you. 

“Who said it had to be a bed?” You retort and her face turns red, and you’re not sure if she’s about to kick your ass or just shoot you on the spot.

However, you’re not expecting her to walk over, and kiss you dead on the lips. Which is exactly what she does. 

When she pulls back Wanda is laughing, and you’re pretty sure you’re dreaming. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Natasha asks when you finally open your eyes, and you swallow with difficulty. 

Without waiting a beat you pull her back in, kissing her again, a bit more forcefully than she did first, and she kisses you back in earnest. A part of you isn’t sure of what’s happening, but the other part of you is enjoying this turn of events quite a bit. 

“Well, well, well.” You comment when she pulls back, as if she’s finally realized what she was doing. If you’re smiling like a lunatic it’s only because you truly can't help it. 

“Is anyone going to kiss me?” Wanda asks, and you break eye contact with Natasha to look at her. 

“Come here, you needy monster.” You pull her onto your lap, and she straddles you with ease and familiarity. A pretty smile on her pink lips as she cups your face, and you wrap your arms around her waist. 

Kissing Wanda is still heaven. You’re once again submerged in her world, and you still find it incredibly addictive. She bites your bottom lip softly as she rocks her hips forward to meet yours, and you can’t help but let your hands wander. 

Grabbing a handful of her ass you pull her closer to you as she deepens your kiss, and you can taste the red wine on her tongue. Her breath is hot as she breathes heavily into your mouth, and your mind becomes fuzzy with want.

“Such a good kisser.” Wanda says against your lips, and you smile sweetly. She’s so adorable, especially from this angle, and the way she scrunches up her nose makes you want to kiss all over her face. 

“Better than me?” Natasha asks, and to your surprise you turn your head to find her sitting right next to you. 

“I’m not sure.” Wanda says with a false thoughtful look, and hidden smile. 

Natasha doesn’t give her a verbal answer, instead you watch the redhead grab Wanda by the neck, and pull her down for an intense kiss that has Wanda moaning in a matter of seconds. 

You watch them kiss while holding Wanda’s hand, and your throat dries up. You watch, and realize that this is actually happening. You watch until you can’t anymore. 

Grabbing a hold of Wanda’s arm you pull her back to you, and kiss her hungrily. She’s still moaning, her hands now desperately pulling off your shirt, as you do the same with her sweater. 

You hear Natasha softly chuckling next to you, but you’re already too wrapped up in everything that Wanda is to care about the world, let alone Natasha’s smug laughter. 

“I’ve missed your lips,” Wanda says as she pulls back slightly, a tipsy smile on her extremely kissable lips. 

You smile while your hands squeeze her bare waist, and you don't hold back from kissing her again. You’ve missed her lips too, and you hope she can read between the lines. 

Her hands in your hair pull back lightly, exposing your neck as she moves to place heady kisses all over it. You’re breathing rapidly now, your hands massaging her breasts, as she licks a path up your throat, still pulling on your hair. 

“Kinda feeling left out here.” Natasha’s voice breaks through the fog in your mind, and Wanda sits back on your lap, as she tries to get her breathing under control. 

“I’m not sure of what's happening exactly.” Wanda says as you inch closer to her. Your hands are still on her, touching every inch of her exposed skin as you can, while she combs back your hair. You kiss her upper breast, careful not to leave any hickies, despite desperately wanting to. 

She gasps, and you look up to kiss her lips, focusing on pinching her nipples now as she rocks her hips forward. 

“You want to stop?” You ask after pulling back only the necessary amount to be able to ask her that. 

“No.” She shakes her head, her hand gently caressing your cheek as she looks into your eyes. “I think I want you both.”

Instinctively you look towards Natasha, who is still holding her glass of wine, and sipping the red liquid delicately as she observes the two of you. 

“Do you - ” Wanda grabs your chin, making you look at her. “Do you want me?” She asks, and you move to pull her ever closer to you. As if that’s possible.  

“Always.” You nod quickly, and as you kiss the corner of her lips she turns to look at Natasha with the same question. 

“You don’t ever have to worry about that.” You hear Natasha say, but you refuse to stop kissing every single inch of her skin to look. 

“I don’t?” Wanda asks breathlessly, your mouth doing wonders on her neck, while your hands reacquainted themselves with the rest of her body. 

“You don’t.” Natasha says, and she sounds much closer now. Her voice is more sultry than you've ever heard it before, and you pull back, if only to see the look on her face. 

You watch her take Wanda’s outstretched hand as she stands, and pulls Wanda on her feet as well. You swallow with difficulty as you watch her kiss Wanda softly, lips merely ghosting over each other. 

However fleeting the kiss though, you see Wanda’s legs quiver and Natasha’s arm wrapping around her waist to keep her upright. 

“Bedroom?” She asks her with the confidence of someone who already knows the answer, and Wanda nods, as if in a daze. 

You watch them walk away, and you try to calm your racing heart, but it’s difficult when Wanda turns to you from the hallway. 

“You coming?” She asks you, and you’re pretty sure that your brain short circuits. 

You stand up, picking up your unfinished beer, and down it in one go before you nod, and walk towards her. 

“That's what she said.” You stupidly joke, and Natasha rolls her eyes expectedly, but now you see that the edge in her eyes isn’t entirely hate. 

“Incorrigible.” Wanda smiles as she grabs your hand, and pulls enough for you to fall into step next to her. 

“You’re dangerous.” You murmur close to her ear as you wrap your arms around her from behind, and she throws you a side glance, feigning innocence. 

“I have no idea what you mean.” She says, and Natasha chuckles lightly as she unlocks the door to her bedroom. 

“Sure you don’t.” She says as she pulls Wanda in for a demanding kiss, and you close the door behind you. 

Well, you think to yourself, Natasha might actually end up killing you after all, but at least it’ll be pleasurable for the both of you. 

...