#i know i kept thinking this show was gonna fix me but i didn't actually believe it it was mostly hyperbole
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just went to my first live show of the year i am in love everything is beautiful and i would absolutely no joke die for this band
#i know i kept thinking this show was gonna fix me but i didn't actually believe it it was mostly hyperbole#but uh guess fucking what i think this show actually no joke Fixed Me#but uh guess what i think this show actually Fixed Me no joke#i am definitely going to be making a MUCH longer post later where i just list everything that i remember from it#just to keep a record of it#but uh yeah that was an incredible show and i am definitely going to be catching them every time they come back#literally#spanish love songs#mine#my shows#<- yeah i think I'll use that tag to keep it organized#not that it's not actually my show but yknow#live shows
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Keeping it quiet
Paring: Innocent!reader Ć dads!friend!Nat
Summery: You looked lonely Natasha could fix that
Warnings: SMUT, (legal) age gap, amab!nat, oral, fingering, p in v, pet names, implied aftercare, secret relationship, breeding kink, unprotected sex, no use of Y/N
Word count: 1.2k
!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!
AN: sorry for the long wait but here I am
Masterlist
Today was supposed to be a normal BBQ like your family had had so often in this warm summer months but ever since your father invited his collegue over to join something changed. Ever since you met Natasha Romanoff about 3 months back you couldn't stop thinking about her. She might have been old enough to be your mother and a friend of your father but you couldn't denie the fact that you were attracted to her like flies to the light. She was a true charmer excatly knowing what to say and to do. You never felt uncomfortable around her even though she blatanly flited with you. Her touch somehow always lingering on your skin when the two of you were alone. It was only a matter of time until you ended in Natashas bed legs widely spread as she savoured your taste. So the time flew sneaking around your parents watch as you kept your illicent affair hidden falling head over heals for the older woman. Today was one of those days where Nat came over to your parents place and just couldn't keep her hands of you.
Like always Natashas steps were light on the cold tiles of the french villa your family owned. Sometimes you thought she was an actual spy. You didn't hear her standing in the kitchen in skimpy clothing preparing something for dinner as you mindlessly hummed along whatever Taylor Swift song was currently on the radio. "What are you doing bunny" She sneaked up behind you pressing her front into your back her crotch againt the swell of your ass. "Just doin' a salad you know" She humped checking out the area to see if your parents were around before doing anything further. Her hands came up to your hips pulling your behind harder against her crotch. "Natty please" you whined as she smirked pressing her nose against your neck smelling the expensive perfume she had gotten you. "We can't not here" your breathing was heavy uneven "What if my parents see?"
"They're in the garden trust me bunny" She whispered her strong hands trialling up your sides to your chest. Even though your body was betraying you leaning into her touch seemingly begging for more you couldn't give in just yet. You wanted to show her how you infact could be stronger than your most animalistic thoughts. "Natasha not now" she groaned into her hear making you feel the wettnes betwen your owm legs. "Fuck bunny I can't wait to feel your tight little pussy pulsing around me begging me to let you cum. And then after you had your sweet sweet release I'm gonna breed you're dripping with my cum" she whispered into your ear before pushing herself from the counter leaving into the garden. Of course she wouldn't actually get you pregnant you where on the pill and you weren't sure if she was even fertile. It was more of her kink she had explained to you.
The rest of the night you two kept your play up. Acting asif you couldn't care less what the other was doing in front of your parents. Still you couldn't help but admire her beautiful features as she had some boring converstaion with your father about politics or what ever. What really interested you would be the time spend between the sheets with her as she would show you all her passions and desires. After what seemed like hours you finally snuck your way into the guest room. She was spread wide on the comfortable mattress only wearing a wifebeater and her chequered boxers. "There's my bunny eh" she turned her head towards you as you made your way over to the bed swinging your hips . You sat down deside you before turning to kiss you roughly slipping her tongue into your mouth as you shifted to strangle her waist feeling her growing erection as you rolled your hips against her crotch.
"Fuck Bunny" she breathed out as she gripped onto your hips stilling you in place. "let me get you ready first" she whispered flipping you to lay under her as she kissed your neck down reamoving your cami top in the process. She took on nipple in her mouth slightly sucking on it before her big hand started playing with your other nipple rubbing over it. You let out quiet whippers as she switched sides. After what she deemed to be enough attention to your chest she kissed her way down to your panties nibbling on the skin of your hips. She made sure to leave hickeys in her way. You tried your best go keep it quiet but when Nat did her thing it was hard. Natasha kissed your clit through the soaked through panties pulling them down only to revel your sticky heat.
She made a bold lick from the end of your pussy right up your puffy clit swirling her trained tongue around the erected nub. Her scarlet lips attached to your clit sucking on it making you cry out as you tried to close your legs around her head but she kept them spread. She slowly inserted two of her long fingers into your clenching hole as you quietly cried out for mor and more. Natasha moved her fingers roughly and fast not giving you time to adjust. "Fuck your so tight" she groaned pumping her fingers even faster. āNatty ām close so closeā You felt your release close enough to grab but then Nat pulled her dripping fingers from your heat leaving you high and dry. āW-What?ā You mumbled out opening your eyes again only to see Natasha smirking down at you āI want some fun too honeyā she smirked flipping you to your knees pushing your hips up as you arched your back showing off both your tight holes to her.
You heard her removing her boxers she already was rock hard for you her reddened tip leaking with pre cum as she expertly spits on her shaft spreading the slick over it. She moved closer pushing her tip to you clit enjoying the sight of you bucking your hips desperately trying to find your pleasure. āNgh Tasha pleaseā you begged making her listen slowly pushing in making you gasp at the feeling of being stretched out like that. She gave you time to quickly adjust before picking up pace fucking you hard and rough as she had a death grip on your hips. You couldnāt care less about the bruises as you pushed your face into the pillow muffling your sounds. With Natasha whimpers and the sound of skin slapping your moans filled the hot summer night air hoping your parents couldnāt hear you.
You kept clenching down on Nat she grabbed onto your shoulders. āFuck ām gonna breed that little pussy nghā¦ Iām gonna make you so full of my cumā you whined out before the coil in your stomach snapped and you came hard Natasha following soon releasing her white seed deep inside your whomp. She proceeded to help you through your orgasm even cleaning you up before cuddling you to sleep her arms tightly around your smaller body.
:)
#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow x female reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff smut#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha romanoff
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CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.
AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW
PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES
So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.
In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:
"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them isĀ the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."
When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" liesĀ we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet.Ā
Some examples of lies people belive:
"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."
When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way.Ā
In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe inĀ the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others.Ā
Long post underneath.
THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:
We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."
I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.
But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:
THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC
Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.
It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.
In the scene, Carmy asked,
"What is so hard, Mom?"
I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?
When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.
Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.
This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.
Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.
THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES
According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.
The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:
I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.
This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).
PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?
Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.
When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."
When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.
Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"
And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currentlyāthey said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.
But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.
In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.
All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.
Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.
#sydcarmy#the bear meta#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#the bear#sydney x carmy#carmy the bear#carmy x sydney#the bear hulu#donna berzatto#michael berzatto#natalie berzatto
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husband & business man!Rafe hcs
ā he'll be coming home from some dumb golf game or something boring and it was so annoying that he has to let it all out by fucking you into subdrop
ā and then he'll be all sweet after peppering you with kisses to bring you back to reality
ā but the first time it happened he was actually scared that he hurt you and kept rambling, like "shit baby, I didn't think that was even a real thing. you good? can I keep going or do youĀ needĀ aĀ break?"
ā and he's never been good at aftercare, but he gets into it and somehow it's incredibly fulfilling to carry you around after and wash you and put you in your favorite pjs so you can sleep and regain your strength
ā and the morning after he'll make you breakfast in bed and shower you with compliments of how good you were to him theĀ nightĀ before
ā and that rhythm repeats once or twice a month because that's just how hisĀ workĀ lifeĀ is
ā and he's a busy man, so every time he leaves for a project somewhere else he drags you with him because "we gotta get a scratch away map and scratch off all the countries I made you cum at least fiveĀ timesĀ inĀ aĀ row"
ā and although he's a doggy kinda guy, he's not appalled by doing a little missionary once in a while because you look so pretty when you cry because his dick is just that huge
ā and he'll kiss away the tears and tell you to not be such a little bitch about it and just take it like a good girl
ā and you'll nod, because who are you to argue with him over it because you know he's right
ā still the tiny fight just always gets him to fuck you a little harder everyĀ timeĀ youĀ doĀ it
ā he'd say shit like "gonna fill you up and get you pregnant like a slut" but he's also the one who made you get on birth control, so you know he doesn't actually mean it
ā but he does mean it when he says he wants to make a little tape in case you can one day not go with him on a trip so the both of you have something to work with
ā and you do it and it's not bad but not very good either but he doesn't care at all bc "look at that, such a pretty pussy taking all of me. god, you sound pathetic when I fuck you, baby.Ā IĀ loveĀ it."
ā he'd tell you to get your nipples pierced but you refuse at first bc that shit hurts but he keeps saying it and once you do it he acts all surprised "oh baby, you really shouldn't have. that's the best birthdayĀ giftĀ ever."
ā ofc he pays for your manicures and for every little thing. but especially the manicures bc god damn he loves it when you scratch him like a wild animal
ā he loves showing you off too, especially to his friends who still don't understand how you got himĀ toĀ settleĀ down
ā and he'll be a real ass over it too, telling Topper and Kelce to look at how hot you are
ā and the first time round they actually did look at you, but just a bit too long for his taste and then he threatened them and they know him well enough to be actually scared
ā and you're so sweet and bubbly and he's always looking at you
ā especially when your eyes are fixed on some other girl who keeps eyeing him and he knows you could tear her to pieces if he let you
ā the thing is, you know he only wants you, you know there's no real threat, but it still makes your blood boil to know that they think they have a chance
ā sometimes you even let him fuck you right in front of them, like that one time at a party in a hot tub
ā and he'd never deny your wish to show off how good he is at fucking you
ā but once you get back home he makes sure that you remember that he is the one in control
ā and you'll babble on and on about how you can't take it anymore but you both know it's a lie so he keeps railing into you until you squeeze him so hard that he sees stars
ā and every time it ends the same, with the two of you cuddling and him showering with "I love you's" and whispered musings, telling you "if I hadn't already married you I'd do it again and again"
please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~eĀ©ho
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#~headcanon#my writing
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Hey.
Can you write a pedro Ć reader. Where they are co stars in a movie working together and they have feelings for each other. One night here there is a party in the reader's room , everyone leaves, pedro helps the reader clean up and they are kinda of drunk and so the have their first kiss?
this was such a cute idea
āGoodnightā you waved at Jacob, who replied with a drunken mumble and an even drunken smile. That one too many drinks unmistakable in his stumbled walk to the elevator.
You chuckled picturing how he was gonna show up to set tomorrow with a pounding headache.
You closed the door, the soft click of the lock disrupting the silence in the room.
"thank you for staying to help," you said, turning around just to find Pedro with a trash bag in hand, already cleaning up.
His big brown eyes lifted from the counter, finding yours, and once again, you felt your heart shimmer slightly.
He had this incredibly annoying and honestly understandable effect on you.
It wasn't all the time though, just when he touched you, or looked at you, or when he'd laugh at one of your jokes...
"of course," he smiled like it didn't make your skin suddenly feel too tight "We made a mess, I couldn't leave you alone to fix it"
You beamed thankfully and grabbed a trashbag of your own.
"so did you have fun?" you asked, as you both cleaned the kitchen.
"I did" He nodded "Well I always have fun when I'm with you"
You chuckled softly
"It's true" he insisted "You have this thing about you..."
"my foolishness?"
"no no, god no" he smiled " You're just... light"
"light?" you asked, your curiosity peaked as you stepped closer
He was smiling like he knew he was messing up all the words.
"yes, light," he repeated "refreshing, fun, warm"
"wow" you grinned "I am a lot of things it seems"
"I'm sorry" he shook his head "I don't know how to explain myself"
"I told you you didn't need that last beer" you joked, making him chuckle.
"You were probably right, as always" he chuckled, taking a quick breath "I just mean that you are... well you are pretty amazing"
"pretty amazing?" you asked, red tainting your cheeks ever so slightly.
"just amazing actually"
"you're flattering me Pedro" you bit your lip "but just so you know, you're amazing too"
And you didn't know if it was the alcohol but his cheeks seemed more crimson too.
He smiled "Trust me youāre more" he stated "and not only that, you're a lot of other things"Ā
his mouth was moving faster than his brain could give him the signal to stop. The safe where he had hidden all the secret thoughts he had spent months having had just been jammed with a few sips too much, and he was unable to stop all from spilling.
"am I?" you asked playfully "Like what?"
His hand went to your arm, and you were certain you had both felt the electricity passing between you.
"Well you are-" he cleared his throat, stepping properly in front of you "You're very beautiful" he confessed "distractingly beautiful in fact" he kept going, as his eyes fell to your lips and yours on his.
Was this really happening?Ā was the only thought on both of your minds.
"God knows how many times I've messed up a line because I was busy staring at you"
"Pedro-"
"or just thinking about you really" he smiled to himself before he got more serious, his eyes decisiveĀ
"you're not drunk, are you?" he asked,
"no, you?"
" Sober as a Judge," he said, mere seconds before his lips were on yours.
You felt fireworks go off in your stomach, and he felt the same in his.
He brought his hands up to your face, holding you like you were about to slip away, and yours went to his chest, his broad and firm chest that felt every bit as you had imagined.
His lips, however, felt much better. He was being so soft and gentle and you felt yourself melt onto him.
You leaned away to catch your breath and you looked at each other incredulously, no words forming in your throat.
He stoaked your cheek, his mouth tugging the happiest smile you had ever seen on a man.
"I can't believe this happened" he beamed "I've been thinking about this since you first flashed that smile at me"Ā
You smiled
"Exactly" he kissed you again briefly "That one"
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x actress!reader#pedro pascal x fem reader#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#the mandalorian#javier peƱa#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal smut#fluff#daddy pascal#pedro pascal blurb#pedro pascal imagine#pedrohub#Pedro Pascal#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedrito
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Hey, guys! I decided to torture myself before sleep beacause... Why not? So, here's KidKiller's rough sheets with some headcanons I have for the guys (probably with a lot off mistakes cus my browser refuses to fix them for me)
Kid time, baby
I draw him differently now. I know his face looks more... diamond shaped in anime, but I can't get rid of his square coded energy, so... Heart-shaped it is!
When he recieved his eye scar he didn't lose the ability to see, but now it get's dry really fast and if he won't do something about it it'll gonna ache.
He had multiple piercings on his ear, but his powers just kept pulling them and one day almost ripped his ear of, so he (with a manly tears) decided to take them off.
I headcanon him wearing a corset, because he's a little chubby and he can't get rid of this extra fat (not with his appetites). Also everytime when he takes it off, not only he's forced to look at his hanging stomach, but he's also has to fight off Killer. Killer's only dream was for Kid to be well fed and happy.
Nor his, nor Killer's sexuality is defined by them, but actually based out of other's observations. Kid is pansexual because he's kinda gender blind. For him it's confusing that you're weak just because you have tits and extra hole between your legs. He's also demiromantic. Both of those preference he acquired during Kutsukku (where you couldn't trust anyone, even your lover. And where the gender norms were the least of your concerns)
He also have undiagnosed ADHD which mostly give him extra impulsivity and also now the metal can speak (thank ye, neurodivergency!). Sometimes it's stresses him the hell off, especially during Kutsukku. He could not sleep because of all of this buzzing he kept hearing from EVERYWHERE. Now he can control it, but sometimes it returnd and he has to suffer.
Metal also responds to his hidden emotions. It may float when he thinks, reflects or remembering something. It may rumble when he's angry, concerned, scared. Or it may form something if he's happy, in love or something like that.
He's hard rock kinda guy, we all know this, but I headcanon him as a music lover in general (so whatever makes his brain go bzzt, mostly rock). I find Thrown a couple of month ago and it's sounds like something Kid would like (probably even kin, esp Backfire). MSI is a basic thing for him to have (every punk need at least one song in their playlist). I guess not every person will understand it, but ŠŃŠ»Š½Ń
Š¹ is such a Kid coded song (Every Russian proverb, but one part is just sending you to fuck yourself is something that Kid would do irl. The chorus is just... mmm)
Killer, my beloved!!!!
I love headcanoning him as androgenous. He has a feminine features: oval shaped face, eyes with big eyelashes, even his lips is a little softer than the average male lips. That is the main reason why he hid his face, because everyone would bully him fot it when he was young. Killer was confused with a girl a lot during his time on Kutsukku.
During timeskip he strained a lot of muscles just to get stronger. He was neglecting himself most of the time, because he had a mission: to become stronger so he'll never fail to protect Kid ever again. They also been really distant during their training. Only when Killer hurted his arm they bounded again. Kid was surprisingly a good mentor for his healing. Probably because their trauma was almost the same
When he's wearing a mask he usually get's his hair out of the way so it wouldn't mess with his vision
Pre timeskip he wanted to work on his style, feeling obliged to do so, cus his crew was dressing up in colorful styles. He choose to fit into more West Bluish kinda style (cowboy boots and pants). But then anxiety hitted him and suddenly he felt too vissible and everyone was looking at him and... Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant expirience for him. He just wanted to show that he was a part of the crew too, but now he feels himself too overreacting and dramatic and stuff. It took a lot of time for everyone to convince him that it wasn't about the look, but more about the comfort. With their support Killer started wearing something he likes more, and it felt fantastic. He actually started to like himself in the mirror a bit more after timeskip and then Wano happened
Killer is asexual beacuse of the amount of trauma he suffered during his childhood. I hc him having a low libido too. He's still feels romantic attraction (only for Kid), and if he asks, Killer will have sex with him without hesitation. But it's only for Kid, OR for his sake
It is so logical for him to have OCD. Just him casualy living and then the dread that if he won't do something usefull his crew will see how fucking usless and worthless he actually is and live him behind the same his parents did just suddenly hits him. Oh hey! Anxiety! Abandonment issues! This man will explode, please, give him a hug.
It got worse after Wano. He's doing bad things with his face and no one knows. Even Kid. (I love making them suffer for the sake of Hurt\Comfort)
I am 100% sure Killer is a Queen guy. It just gives me Killer vibes... The same with Elton John. And also... To fit in his pre timeskip cowboy vibes into the oven,,, He's actually like country rock alongside with glam rock. Barns Courtney is his favorate
So... How do you like my silly little headcanons? Maybe I post something about Heat and Wire too. Welp, I'm fainting out of exaustion, bye!
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how seventeen help their s/o who bumps into things
requested by anon: "I'm someone who is pretty bad with my peripheral view & I end up bumping into corners, walls, or tripping/stumbling over objects that are near me, I was wondering if you could make a svt reaction to them realizing this really bad habit & how they would react?"
notes: a 'how svt' reaction from fairyhaos after a long, long time ! i hope you guys like it <3
masterlist
seungcheol
in the beginning he'd get soso concerned that you were constantly bumping into corners and tripping over things on the floor. has attempted to book and drag you to an appointment at the opticians on a total of 5 different occasions only for you to insist that it's just your horrible peripheral vision and it's Fine. gets worried that you're gonna bruise yourself rlly badly, but you've convinced him to be less hovery-panicky when you accidentally walk into the latest inanimate object.
jeonghan
alternates wildly between acting like a concerned parent and not batting an eye. he's quick to pull you away from walls when it looks like you're getting close to bumping into it while rushing around a corner tho. makes small, conscious efforts to prevent you from hurting yourself, like holding your hand while you're out walking together or making sure that pathways through doors are as smooth as possible in his house so there are no obstacles for you to bump into. still laughs and shakes his head fondly as he remembers the one time to rammed head first into a glass door bc you didn't realize it was shut
joshua
you've bumped into his dining table and his coffee table and every piece of furniture in his house so many times that he asks you one day, half joking and half serious, if you'd like him to baby proof his house for you. finds it rlly endearing actually. gets concerned that you'll get painful bruises tho and always whips out an ice pack when you've had a particularly nasty bump with the wall, but other than that he's gonna make a surprised "oh!" sound before smiling and rushing over to you to pat your head and ask if his lovely darling is doing okay and do you want him to kiss is better for you? ^^
junhui
you're just like him fr!!!!! this little kitty keeps bumping his head on stuff bc he misjudges how short something is (or how tall he is) and so the two of you together are Walking Hazards. neither of you can walk in a straight line. you're constantly bumping shoulders, or bumping into other people, or just bumping into Stuff all the time. jeonghan jokes that you just make each other worse, and you protest every time before accidentally bumping into a table or a wall and making junhui trip over your feet bc he was standing far too close to you
hoshi
acts like it's the end of the world every time. wails loudly, whips out an emergency aid kit from somewhere and asks you to "show me the injury babe, show me where the wall hurt you so i can fix it immediately!!!!!" even if it's just a light, accidental touch against the wall as you turn a corner, he's fussing over your shoulder and asking if you need any bandages. definitely carried u bridal style one time bc you just kept on bumping into things as you walked and he was like. that's it. i can't have you being hurt anymore just jump into my arms and ill carry u!!!! he ended up almost tripping over thin air but oh well. he means well.Ā
wonwoo
his eyes immediately zero in on you whenever he hears a soft "thump" and the sound of you either swearing your head off or making a small "oops" sound, depending on how hard you'd hit something this time. always assesses if you've hurt yourself badly before deciding how to respond, but these days he's learnt that your bumps often aren't incredibly life threatening and more like a little kitten bumping into their reflection in the mirror bc they didn't even know reflections existed. it's kind of cute, he thinks, even if he does wince in sympathy a little when you stub your toe against a chair leg and then start swearing like a sailor
woozi
you come running into his room to show him something before abruptly tripping over a fold in a rug, bashing into the wall and knocking his headphones off his side table all in the span of three seconds, and he doesn't know whether he should laugh or ask you if you're okay. he's kinda used to it now tho, so he does both, and you just roll your eyes before flopping onto his bed and pulling out your phone to show him the video you originally came to show. it's a normal occurrence, you're both used to it, and he's long since given up trying to protect you from your habits
minghao
yelps in surprise every time, and then sucks in his teeth and clicks his tongue, pulling you closer to him to avoid any more accidents. rubs your arm or your hip or wherever you've managed to hit yourself against something this time, telling you that your body is precious okay u can't keep hurting yourself like this >:(( still lowkey thinks you look like an adorable bumbling baby animal tho, especially when you walk wobbily and end up bumping into something before shaking your head confusedly and continuing on your path. is trying to teach you better spacial awareness. can't tell if it's actually working or not.Ā
mingyu
he loves it. thinks it's hilarious. not the part where you might hurt yourself, but the part where you run into stuff and go "oops" so adorably. the both of you are The Clumsyā¢ couple with mingyu breaking things left and right and you giving yourself bruises every day when you bump into the latest innocent object that had been minding its own business. the first few times he was worried you'd hurt yourself really badly, but once he realised that you didn't get too hurt from it then he'd resorted to grinning at you adoringly (like your terrible peripheral vision was something cute???) bc he just thinks anything you do is so funny and sweet
dokyeom
always has an arm slung over your shoulder whenever he can while out walking on the street to protect you from dangerous corners or lamp posts or anything while you're out and about. it doesn't stop you bumping your hip against like, those mini standing cafe signs, or tripping over cracked paving slabs though, no matter how securely he's holding you into his side. you always end up making a surprised noise when you bump into something and then immediately apologise to the object, and it makes seokmin burst into laughter every time and pull you even closer to him because he just thinks that it's the funniest and cutest thing ever
seungkwan
soooo protective of you like actually. he would totally not be averse to the idea of wrapping you up in bubble wrap from the moment you wake up to the moment you're back in your safe and not dangerous bed at the end of the day. tsks affectionately and has lovingly dubbed you his mini walking disaster. makes startled noises every time you walk into or out of a room and accidentally trip over the uneven flooring or your own feet. tells you to pay better attention to ur surroundings, but tbh he's one to talk bc he's stubbing his toe against a table leg literally five times a month
vernon
spends like ten seconds laughing at you when you bumped shoulders with a lamp post on the street and then automatically muttered a "sorry". then he's so busy laughing that he walks smack into a lamp post himself, head first and making a concerning ringing sound as he does so and now it's your turn to laugh, even whilst you're holding his head and making sure that he hasn't given himself a concussion. you're not too bothered by your terrible peripheral vision (okay, you are, but you've kinda accepted it now) so hansol just thinks it's funny too. plus his hand-eye coordination isn't the best, so the both of u are always stumbling into stuff 24/7 anyways
chan
pretends to square up at whatever object or obstacle you've had an altercation with this time. he's all like "oh you DARED to be in the way, huh???? you're gonna pay for that!!" until you're laughing and trying to drag him down the street again. asks if you're okay, afterwards, smiling all the same bc he loves that he was able to make you laugh bc of how he reacted. and at home the freezer is stocked with mini ice packs bc he is Afraid that one day you're gonna bruise yourself rlly badly and god forbid you have to get Hurt and god forbid that you think he won't immediately try and do everything within his power to make the hurt go away :((Ā
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So I just recently lost my job for something that wasn't my fault! :) TLDR: Left when my shift was over, thinking the next guy on shift was already there. He wasn't so I got fired for it.
For context: I've worked in a store with only 5 coworkers (including the owner) for a few years now. The owner has been coming by less and less often and had the back fixed up like someone was moving in, so I kind of figured he was getting ready to sell the store. I asked several times over the course of about 6 months if he was going to sell and every time he would say no. Then one day a guy MOVES IN to the back room and the owner tells me he's the new boss.
Ok fine, I think. Am I fired then? He says no, the new guy needs us four to stay on and show him how to run the business. I keep working my shifts that week like usual and show the new guy how the store works. The next week the owner texts us to let us know the new guy decided he wanted to get rid of everyone and hire new staff. I actually argue with him about this because I asked MULTIPLE TIMES if he was selling, and if I was out of a job, AND HE KEPT SAYING NO. Now if he fires me with no warning I'm fucked. He actually agrees that we can keep working our normal hours for another month, THEN we're getting laid off. Ok that's still some bullshit, but it gives me time to find something else.
I guess the new guy was upset that he didn't get to get rid of us right away like he wanted, so he doesn't even speak to me when I'm there working. I show up to open the store at 7am and stay there till 3 when he takes over. He doesn't even get out of bed most days until noon (I know because I can hear when his alarm goes off). So I get used to him not speaking to me. I also get used to him going outside and hiding behind our dumpster to smoke weed.
One day, just 20 minutes before my shift is over, he strolls right by me without saying a word, as usual, and I see on the camera that he goes behind the dumpster. I figure he's smoking weed and forget about him because I'm busy with customers. 20 minutes later I look on the camera and can't see him, but his car is still there. So I shoot him a text saying I'm going home and leave.
Not 5 minutes later, before I've even got home, my phone starts ringing. I ignore it thinking I'll call whoever it is back when I get home, but they call again. And again. And again. And again. So I pull over and answer and it's the owner SCREAMING AT ME that I left the store unlocked. I told him the new guy was there, and he said no, he got someone to pick him up and went to Malwart. I say ok, I'm still close I'll drive back down there and lock it, he yells NO YOU'RE FIRED and just keeps screaming and screaming and screaming- so I blocked him.
Went down there the next day to grab some cleaning supplies and toilet paper I bought for the store and dropped my keys off. Fuck that place, it is not MY FAULT his new favorite employee forgot when his shift started and left without telling anyone.
Also, the 4 people besides the owner who worked there were 3 women and 1 man. I later heard this new guy fired the other 2 women and ended up keeping the 1 man, who was by far the WORST of us. He never did any cleaning or stocking, and I've had customers tell me he sits in his car with the door locked for hours at a time. They're gonna run that business into the ground for sure.
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As I have the app around, I may as well just dive into this before disappearing again. To the people in my post a few days prior and in my dms, I promise I'm not ignoring any of you, but I genuinely can't muster the energy to speak to anyone else currently. I'm only here currently because someone found my unmentioned hetalia account, which I left unmentioned for a reason...you know who you are...you scared me...š
Ah, okay well. If you're not aware of who I am, hi. I'm a dude that wrote fanfiction for this fandom I got pulled into. A year ago I had a few different accounts but I had to delete every single one just because I kept getting harassed, from one thing to another. I'm hoping I don't have to do it again this time around.
I haven't gone offline as anyone thought. I did attempt to take my life (twice, 2024 is something else) but in the end it didn't work out, so I've been hiding in my secret account to relax in hetalia for a bit. In between that I've also been stalking the account myself since it showed up just to see what it was up to, and...oh wow that's a lot.
This specific account has been on my ass like a tick since..two days ago. Two days of my 'supposed' death.
I've also recently found out that someone else who was pretending to be a friend of my friend's and a concerned citizen happened to be friends with them;
And hence why I chose not to reemerge my head back then yet. It turns out there's a few people who may have been following me who are acquainted with these people and...yeah, I didn't want to take the risk. I'm hoping no one is going to inform them I'm not actually deadāI blocked both accounts to avoid being noticed.
There's a lot of yapping I'm gonna be doing so expect a lot of that, BUT piece of advice to anyone that actually cares: do not engage with either blog. Don't send them hate mail, don't go gloating that I'm not actually dead, and don't fucking yap about anything. These blogs went as far as to harass my friends who have no part in this, and they also wrote nsfw of my adult oc and my friend who is a fucking minor. Do. Not. Engage. With. Them. Please!! Block, block, block. Just block them! They're actively going out of their way to harass and stalk MINORS.
Under the cut, I am rambling more on personal feelings rather than doing this professionally. I'm still pretty moody actually and well yeah...
Trigger Warning for some topics below!
Okay uh. I've never done this before so excuse me while I put this in question format lmfao..
"Why aren't you dead!?"
Joke answer; god doesn't want me.
Long answer: I'm not the type of person who says something like that ...like that. I really was intending to go through with it, but evidently I was too tired from crying and fell asleep. I figured that I couldn't handle people fucking around with me and hid in my secret blog. Hetalia fandom is so nice for a fandom about countries. Point blank sorry to burst many of your bubbles, but I'm not dead yet. Put the birthday canon away, slut. I'll die next season.
"What the fuck did you even do?"
Exist.
No okay, realistically it's a lot. I'm not going to play the victim here's and I'm not going to lie to people and say "oh hey my mental illness/trauma made me do that" because that's bullshit. I'm also not diving too deep into any explanations just because my hands hurt..but also I don't want to remember anything less I have another panic attack.
A year ago I met this girl who became my friend over a fandom. We chatted, but I fucked our friendship up when I lashed out at her and another friend wrongfully because of my own stress. While I did beg one of them to stay, the chick that runs kokomichanstuff, Mariin, I ended the friendship with her just because I knew what I did was bad. There really aren't any excuses for that. I don't think anyone should have to deal with anyone else's bad attitude regardless of mental health or not. I didn't bother to keep Mariin around because I did bad, and no amount of apologies would fix it. She already said she wouldn't forgive me, so I knew it made no sense to keep up a facade. I genuinely had no idea she would've been mad that I begged one person to stay but not her, even though she expressed not wanting to be my friend. I also don't remember truly if what I did was enough to earn THIS type of harassement, but I'll take it as divine punishment. But basically, over and over again Mariin has stalked me and found a way to harass me. According to the posts she made, she's made a new friend I (sadly) hurt who wants..revenge. Hooray.
Mariin's already namedropped them so um, yeah, I hope it's okay to mention them?? . Neveah was someone I also hurt really badly by bullying and lashing out at her out of jealousy over something ridiculously dumb in my old server and account. I confronted her later on apologizing but specifically also adding that she didn't need to forgive me because I messed up. Long story short, she claimed she had forgiven me.... but then went to her friends (Mariin mentioned) Geno, Toga etc to badmouth me, including sharing sensitive information I sent to her. Neveah's friend Geno made a post mocking me which I found and responded poorly too, and then more drama escalated from there because literally every single one of Neveah and Geno's friends came to bombard me, sent me hate mail and surprise, Mariin took the chance to come back. I don't know how the fuck those two (Mariin and Neveah) managed to speak, but sometime later a few accounts appeared that went after people who were once associated with me or used to be associated with me. A few days ago the account made supposedly by Neveah made a post accusing me of being a r*pist, groomer and pedophile and yeah. That went badly.
Uh. Wow this is a mouthful. But. Yeah, I'm...not really a good person, and these things are just embarrassing and..ick. I hate myself for the shit I pull. But, I will say, while I can accept Mariin harassing me like this, the other parties just...genuinely could've handled this better than what they did to me. It really wouldn't have been so hard to ask me instead of listening to one side, but maybe that's me. Regardless, I admit I was wrong. I just..I'm not happy other people are getting involved.
"Why didn't you just say something sooner instead of all that nonsense? Wasn't that too dramatic?"
Sadly it was, but I don't think any of you understand when I say that I CAN'T. I can't say anything because it's just me, me, me. It's just me, and people aren't going to believe me. They never do. When that shitshow happened with Neveah, everyone was blaming me. Even up till recently, someone in my current server told me I was the one who overreacted over getting bullied and harassed. I'm not mentioning them here but holy fuck, that shit hurt. The anons coming in my inboxes telling me "people are offering you advice and you don't want it", it fucking hurts. It genuinely hurts because every single time I try to speak up against anything, or stand up for myself, I'm the one who's in the wrong.
Geno, Neveah, Mariin, fucking Toga and Deja and the entire fucking crew. They're never the ones who get wronged, and they haven't lost anything. Even when Mariin's account gets deleted, she's fine. She has people that actually fucking listens to her, all of them do.
I don't. There's no one aside from the few friends I have who would actually listen to me and not just immediately jump at me, and I'd rather just not have them involved in anymore drama that revolves around me.
Yeah, holy shit, maybe attempting to kill myself from the stress was overbearing but you guys have no fucking idea what it's like. Every time, every time I make a report or say something, I'm the one who's told I'm at fault. It's either, "You're don't look like a child, it's not their fault they want to touch you," or, "You overreacted," or, "Maybe you shouldn't have said anything," or even, "You're so ungrateful, I'm trying to help you."
It. fucking. Sucks. It. SUCKS. Its terrifying that regardless if it's my real life or on the internet, no one listens, no one cares and the one who's left hurting is Ali because who fucking cares. Who gives a shit right?
"....did you try to kill yourself over Nezha?"
Everything started with Nezha, and I'm not even fucking kidding. I don't remember how I met Mariin but I knew for a fact it was something about him. And when we broke our friendship off, I got attacked a LOT about his age. I want to pretend that maybe it was all Mariin, but with how things are, I don't doubt for a second this fucking fandom were jumping me for a character who already has a confirmed age.
I could tell you that I was just stressed about Mariin, but that'd be a lie. Everywhere I go with this fandom, I'm always getting hassled about Nezha's age. From the beginning I was already stressed, because I continuously kept getting anon after anon calling me names and accusations for a fictional fucking character.
I don't deny that Mariin didn't have a part to play. She most definitely made things worst for me with using Nezha to slander me further. It's just my luck that the people in this fandom are idiots that'll listen to anything anyone says.
Think of it this way; the pot was near burning on the stove, it just needed some more fuel.
"Why didn't you just listen to the anons?"
Sighs
Mind you, this was supposedly when I was DEAD. Trust me, I've had far worst flooding my inboxes. Before it was about Nezha's age. Recently, it was to kill myself and the accusations.
I'm not saying the advice was ever bad. But the anons were strangers for all I care who had no idea what the fuck was happening. I've tried blocking anons before, I also went to far lengths to ignore them, but there's only so much I can take. Every day, day in day out on any blog I've made, ever since I started writing for Nezha, I've been receiving dozens and dozens of hate I've had to delete constantly. Not even counting the ones that just randomly told me to die!!
"just ignore them" I'm not a child. I. know. I know, I know, I've been trying, but when people don't respect my boundaries and don't even bother to listen when I say I've done it, how do you think I'm going to feel?
"oh but you should put that as your trigger then it's not their fault" oh yeah, "hey everyone š„ŗ when people don't listen to me I cry". How do you think it'll sound? Plus, why should I need to add that when I wasn't expecting anyone to actually act like this on the internet to begin with?!
"Why don't you just move to a different platform then if the hate is that bad?"
Ignoring Mariin for a bit, even if I were to go into another platform to write fanfiction (and I highly doubt there's many I'll feel comfortable in), why should I, and what makes you think the hate will stop there?
AO3 is a place where THE worst people write porn. And you wouldn't believe that I've had to delete quite a number of assholes on there for Nezha's age. Don't mention Twitter where the nonsense started about his age, and don't bring in bluesky because there's a word limit and I'm not limiting myself to that. Even Wattpad has them yelling about Nezha's age. WATTPAD!! Genuinely what makes you think I'll be safe anywhere I go?
I hate Tumblr but this account is my safe space from reality at this point. It used to be the place that made me not want to die. Just because you guys are jerks, why should I need to go?
This also goes back to Mariin and the harassers. Even in my fake death I can't know peace. If I were to move out, wouldn't she get to live her life peacefully while I'm miserable trying to understand a place I don't want to be in?
"Then just leave the LMK fandom!"
Again, why should I? LMK is my comfort show. I genuinely enjoy writing for silly legos, and I also love learning about things I didn't know about before. Why should I have to leave just because the fandom is filled with jerks? Why don't you guys just leave instead if you're butthurt about anyone daring to speak an opinion?
"The accusations-!"
Are lies.
I was r*ped before. Why would I find any pleasure r*ping anyone else? How does one even do that through online?
I was groomed online and assaulted in real life. Why would I think of hurting another human being, most less a child, like that when I still can't even read anything that correlates to it? Why would I find any of those things pleasing?
I turned 18 in 2024. It's not an excuse and I've been doing my best to not interact with minors, or at the very least avoid speaking about topics that are inappropriate for them. Even though I still forget I'm an adult on occasion, I know better than to pull up on my younger friends and start talking about nsfw. I've only ever spoken weirdly to my adult friends.
I recently saw someone comment on the account that I'm Islamphobic/don't support Palestine, so that makes me problematic. I grew up in an Islamic family, I have trauma with that specific religion (inclu. Hinduism and Christianity, long story). I don't interact with anything regarding religion if I can and I also don't judge someone based on their religion. I judge you based on how you speak to me. If you have a weird icon, I don't like you, if you speak weirdly, I don't like you. Additionally, I'm the type of person who feels guilty for making someone upset. I can't support myself, most less for others. No, I don't agree with genocide but it's genuinely too much for me to keep up with.
And finally, how the fuck is liking a character who's an adult make me a proshipper? Jesus Christ again with Nezha. I hate this.
"You have no proof!"
Of course I don't. I don't keep bad memories around. I wouldn't have remembered my own childhood if I didn't get triggered about it. I block bad memories out. Many interactions I've had that are bad, I delete. I don't think about saving, I delete.
Even interactions with friends I usually delete because it's just weird not seeing a blank space. I don't hate them but leaving a spot full feels weird.
I don't have any proof I'm none of the accusations but neither does Mariin, to be frank. So if you chose to believe her because you just genuinely don't like me, good for you, but you look like sheep being led by a drunk shepherd. Either you'll end up in a slaughterhouse and starve, your pick.
I'm not going to say, "Oh ask my minor friends!" Because...they're kids. I feel horrible my friend got roped into this to begin with, the last thing I want is for anyone else be involved when they barely know shit.
Yeah, rambled a bit. I didn't want too but I got carried away, whoops.
This is the only post I want to make about this issue. Don't bring it up, don't uhh, don't mention me to the account, and please just allow me to rest in peace. I just want to write and feel free, not deal with this shit, okay?
Also. Please stop involving my friends into beef you have with me. It's really not their fault they have to deal with someone like me.
Goodbye. I'm deleting the app again until I return. Adios
#ā į¢ź¤¬į“archon's above#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lego monkie kid x reader#monkie kid x reader#lmk nezha#nezha lmk#uhh shit#nezha x reader#sun wukong x reader#macaque#macaque x reader#erlang shen#uhhhh#ummm#lmk red son#lmk mei#psa#jttw#tw rant#lmk x reader
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Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, part 20
Synopsis: soulmate AU where you have the same mark on your body as your soulmate, and if your soulmate dies, you die too. Alastor needs to make sure that his soulmate is safe so he can continue his reign - whatever that takes. Though it looks like we have a couple secrets of our own.
Previous part
Part 20: dark desires
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"What do you want Husker?" I knew he was crossing when he first stepped out of the house. I sat just beyond the tree line with my back against a large oak. I had heard the door close, the sway of grass as he walked, his steps, his breathing, and felt his red magic about half way across the field.
I had barely slept last night. I woke up before dawn and made my way to my new sitting spot. I could hear the crash of the waves at the bottom of the cliff and the whirl of the wind across the field. The peaceful serenity was nice. The calm, external environment was helping me figure out how to feel internally. Until Husker showed up at dawn.
"I wanted to check on you." He stepped out from behind the tree.
"I'm fine. Never better. Why do you ask?" I had my legs pulled up and my arms dangling over them. I kept my one hand covering the bruised one.
"I thought maybe you would be happy that the curse is finally gone. But...you obviously don't feel that way."
"I shouldn't..." I pressed my lips into my shoulder to keep myself from spilling. I wasn't sure why I didn't want to talk about it with Husker. I had told him plenty before but this time I was hesitant.
"I'm usually good at guessing what's wrong," he tried, "but this time I'm a little lost. Did something else happen? Was there a memory?"
"No, he...I didn't..." I wrapped my arms around my legs and leaned my cheek into them. I was still holding my human form but I could sense everything as if I was in my Demon form.
My hands shifted so the bruise shone a little. Husker pointed and asked, "May I?" So I let him brush his claws across my injured hand, the muscle and skin popping and fixing itself. I turned my head the other way and gritted my teeth from the pain.
When he was done, I withdrew my hand to my chest and stared off into the forest. Husker was quiet. He sat in silence with me for a long time. I could hear his breathing and his presence sat on the outside of my shields.
I let out a huge sigh, Husker's ear twitching in my direction. I turned my head so he was partially in my view. "I don't...I should've known that he wanted something more with me."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...I thought he just wanted to teach me how to defend myself against a Demon. That way he didn't have to ever think about keeping me safe again, but...I...he..." I struggled to find the words. I didn't want to tell Husker about the Sanctuary in case it somehow got back to Alastor. "When we touch I can feel both of our magic combining. He wants to keep me because it gives him more power. Which means...I can't do anything without him. I can't have a life anymore."
Husker was quiet. I could feel his presence fully around my shields as if to comfort me in some way. He physically sat adjacent to me against the same tree. I could hear his tail thumping and even feel it vibrating through the ground.
"Well, you know," he leaned over so his shoulder touched mine, "he's gonna teach you everything he knows. And you've obviously got your own kind of power and experience. Sooo...." he tilted his head, drawing out his words. He was waiting for me to finish but I obviously wasn't getting it. "SoĀ you may one day be better than him."
I actually laughed. It was short and high pitched. I stood up and spun on my heels, planting my hands on my hips. "This is theĀ Radio DemonĀ we're talking about. He's been around forĀ thousandsĀ of years. He's had all that time to practice and master who knows how much magic. I've barely lived a second in comparison to him."
"True," he agreed, "but even he has his weaknesses. He's teaching you all the tricks which means you'll know how he thinks. It's just a matter of time."
"That's what I'm upset about." I paced around in a circle. I let my Demon side show and dug my foot claws into the soft earth. "In order to be evenĀ closeĀ to his level, I would have to train with him for hundreds of years. I don't even know how long I live for."
"Demons don't really have a timeline but most of us live longer than the average Human."
"I don't want to be stuck with him!" I yelled. My tail whipped behind me as my pacing increased. I went up to a tree and raked my claws down its bark. "I deserve to pick the lifeĀ IĀ want to live. He gets to decide what life he wants because he's got the power, but I deserve to decide."
"He's not really..." Husker clicked his claws together. "He's more...you won't get through to him unless you've got some kind of power. And...you may have to suck it up and train with him until you've reached that point. You've seen how he reacts when your shadow shows up."
I glanced down as my shadow morphed into the woman. I had yet to come up with a name, though I was heavily leaning towards Alcine. It seemed like a nice, elegant name for a woman who's shadow looked like that. She nodded her head at me on the grass.
I let out a strangled sigh. "I just...I have my own plans."
"I know." He pushed himself to his feet and stood in front of me. "I know exactly how you're feeling. So I want to do what I can to help you get there."
"What about you?"
He shrugged. "One step at a time. Maybe you'll even be able to convince him to let me go. But let's take this one day at a time."
I rubbed my clawed fingers together. "Okay."
****
"Are you finally ready,Ā darling?" Alastor stood on the scorched symbol at the cliff, his eyes and teeth glowing brightly in the dim moonlight. His hands rested on top of each other on his red cane. I hid my Demon side as I walked up. My feet felt like they had glue on the bottom of them, making each step harder than the last.Ā
"Where are we going?" It was the third time I had asked.Ā
"Out. I think you've been stuck in this dusty house for too long." He uncurled a claw from his cane and held it out, his smile widening.Ā
"You and I both know kindness isn't your thing." I looked up through furrowed eyebrows and an angry scowl. Anger was easier to manage than fear.
He hummed a short laugh. "You pain me. I'm notĀ allĀ bad." He inched his hand towards me more.Ā
I sighed. "Yes you are," and took his hand. Our combined power rushed through my veins and took my breath away. I had to take a moment to recover while Alastor soaked in the feeling. He pulled me closer and teleported away. I nearly grabbed his arm when the ground disappeared. I was slowly getting used to the feeling of teleporting.
When we touched solid ground, I looked around at the dark landscape. We were on a roof but there were severalĀ hugeĀ buildings surrounding us. Not all the floors were lit up and most of them didn't even have windows or walls. I inched to the edge and saw a lively scene beneath me. The major streets were covered in yellow,Ā electricalĀ lights and people had to push themselves through the heavy crowd.Ā
This was one of those Old World cities. Since the Great Collapse, many major cities had fallen to nothing but ruins, leaving mother nature to handle them how she wanted. I had been in a ring of sorts in one of these cities. When an old ring had been discovered, everyone had to go find a new one. On the way, Striker and I had spent a night in one of these big cities. He heard of a fighting league, a legal 'ring' fight with willing participants. He had participated in a fight himself then offered me up to their champion. The fight lasted under two minutes.
I knew he would probably still be in one of the legal towns, but that didn't stop me from scanning the crowd in search of Striker's sharp face. "What are we doing here?"Ā
"There's someone I want to see if you recognize," Alastor answered nonchalantly. He stood just a hair behind me, his presence snaking around my shields. He didn't push through, which surprised me, but the fact that he was actively surrounding me didn't make me feel any better. I tried asking who I was supposed to be looking for but he didn't respond. He fell silent and justĀ staredĀ at me. I hated when he did that.
For awhile I simply watched. We were hidden on a roof that towered just above where the electricity stopped running. There was no one on the floors of the buildings around us and the shadows kept us well hidden from any curious eyes.Ā
After awhile, I sat down with my legs crossed and continued to watch. I was actually enjoying it. I stretched out my magic sense and felt everyone who came within distance. I could sense their emotions and feel who had Full magic and who had Slight. There were a few Demons hiding themselves in a human appearance, their magic's color shaping their outline. I imagined myself walking in the crowd with them all, brushing shoulders and going about a normal life. When I 'touched' them, it felt like I was sucking some of their energy straight from their body.Ā
A cold shiver ran through my body. I casted a glare at Alastor as his presence finally penetrated my shields. I tried wrapping my mind in a black cloak as if to keep him from reading my thoughts. I didn't know if he could actually read thoughts but I wasn't eager to find out. I turned back to the crowd to look for someone I would recognize. If he was trying to get in my head, that must mean he saw the person and wanted to see my reaction.Ā
It took me a few moments before my eyes locked on a man. I didn't immediately recognize him but I couldn't look away. He had a sturdy build, an ugly frown, and scraggly hair. My heart quickened and my hands started to sweat. What was wrong with me? Why was I freaking out? What was it about this man? No memories surfaced as I tried to remember.
He walked down one of the small streets and I followed, scrambling to my feet and jumping to the neighboring rooftop. I watched him from my high perch as he strolled halfway down the less-lit street. He leaned against the old building and pulled out a smoke. He was wearing a long sleeve which seemed odd for such a warm night. He put his hands in his pockets and just looked left and right. I knelt down and continued to watch him. What was he doing? Who was he waiting for?
Eventually, a second man walked down the street and shook hands with him. I leaned lower and casted a light wind to carry their conversation up to me.Ā
"That's thirty credits for the boy and forty for the girl," the newcomer said. He pulled out metal squares, called credits, to count them and drop them in the man's hand.Ā
"What do you want next?" the big man counted the credits himself before stuffing them into his pocket.Ā
"They're looking for two boys, around nine years old give or take."
"No girls?"Ā
"No. They supposedly have too many now and not enough fighters. They need the boys for the fights."
"Nine is awfully old." The big man blew out a puff of smoke. "They can't disappear as easy as younger kids."
"Which is why you're getting fifty credits for each."Ā
The big man coughed and took the smoke from his mouth. He cleared his throat and straightened his shirt. "Fifty? That sounds like they want a delivery."
"They do. They want them delivered to Swansbury. You can handle that, can't you?"
"Yeah, of course."
The newcomer held out his hand and the big man rolled up one of his sleeves. I leaned further over the edge to see what was all over his arms. The newcomer took the man's smoke and pressed it the hot end into his bicep. The man let out a grunt but didn't react in any other way. The newcomer returned the smoke after the big man had rolled his sleeve back down. The marks on his skin were all burn marks. Why did they do that?
"Your next contact will wear a gray top," the newcomer informed. He swiftly left the small street and disappeared into the crowd. The big man waited in the street, still smoking his cigarette. I watched him closely, trying to put together his face. I knew him. But from where?
Something pulled me backwards and I found myself in my mindscape. I pushed myself to my elbows and found myself in a memory. Not just any memory,Ā theĀ memory. The man trapped my hands against the cold cage floor and everything came running back. I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed the fear in my stomach. I was suddenly standing and tripped backwards into my shields. I shook my head and pulled myself back to reality. I opened my eyes to an empty alley.
I jumped to my feet and rang along the edge of the roof for him. I found him down another small street, walking into another small building. This one had electricity shining through some of the shaded windows. The man appeared on the third level and collapsed on an old rickety bed. This was the man that had assaulted me.
My Demon side slipped out and I dug my claws into the concrete of the rooftop I sat on. So many emotions came flooding through me as I stared at him. He was aĀ ring hunter. He was the people who stole children and sold them to the ring fights. I had so much energy buzzing through my body I didn't know what to do with. I wanted to bring the building down and watch him suffocate from the crushing rubble.Ā
"You can do it."Ā
My ear twitched as Alastor's lips brushed against it. My hands were shaking the harder I pushed them into the concrete. My heart couldn't slow down.
"You have the power, now."
My vision started to blacken around the corners. I was zeroing in on his helpless, clueless body on the bed. He was going to sleep peacefully and would wake up the next day to ruin another child's life.Ā
"You can put a stop to him."
My breathing grew shallow. My hands were sweaty and my tail whipped back and forth on the roof. My wings pressed into the floor on either side of me to give them something to do. I wanted to jump off this roof and crash into his room. I wanted to wrap my claws around his throat.
"It would take a flick of your wrist."
Alastor's hand was gripping my shoulder as he leaned further over the other one. He was kneeling beside me? Behind me? There was so much energy bouncing between us that I couldn't tell where he was in contact with me aside from his claws in my shoulder.Ā
"End his life to save so many." He gently grabbed my wrist and pried it off the edge of the roof. He lifted it up so my sharp, black claws curled around the man's figure. "Restrict his airflow." His throat closed and his eyes shot open. He clutched at his neck and rolled of the bed. He banged his chest as if to dislodge an object from his throat. "Watch himĀ writheĀ as you did."
The man's flailing slowed until he finally laid still on the floor. The outline of his body grew red until everything about his was glowing red. It was his soul. I quickly cut off my magic. A second later the man gasped for air and the outline disappeared.
Alastor wasĀ everywhere. I abruptly withdrew and broke away from him. "I'm better than that," I clutched my hands to my chest, "I stopped the killing when I left the ring. I'm not going back to that. I'm not a Demon."
"Oh darling," he stalked over to me, "you are a Demon." He leaned down so his face was level with mine, arms folded behind his back. "It's how you managed to survive for so long in those fights. It's in your nature."
A door slammed shut, drawing both our attention back to the street. The man had run out of the building and was making his way to the crowded street. A huge, dark figure appeared at the end of the street and snarled at the man. He casted fire at the illusion and went the other way. Alastor chuckled and looked at me sideways. He grabbed my forehead, covering my eyes, and I felt my body drop.Ā
A second later I was gliding over the lower buildings on the outskirts of the city. The man was still running, casting glances over his shoulder for his pursuer. Various black figures scared the man from certain streets, herding him further away from the crowded street. I jumped from building to level and back again. I couldĀ tasteĀ the fear of the man. It was sweet and electrifying. I wanted more.Ā
The man tripped and scrambled behind a pile of crates. I jumped down on the other end of the alley where the man wasn't looking. The streetlight behind me blinked. The man's head swiveled in my direction. The light turned on and my shadow--no,Ā Alastor'sĀ shadow--stretched down the concrete.Ā
"Good day sir!" Alastor's chipper voice came from my lips. I wasn't actually here. I was seeing through Alastor's eyes. He stalked slowly and precisely towards his prey. The man tried casting fire but his veins bulged and he cried out in pain. He curled into a bawl, sobbing and begging for his life. Alastor leaned down so his face was inches from the man's and said, "You've gotten in my way."
His claws latched around the man's throat. Half a second later, the man's life faded from his eyes. He slumped into the ground and Alastor straightened up. He snapped his fingers to call the dark figures to surround the body. He effortlessly lifted himself to the rooftop and made his way back. I could see my own body laying on the ground as he knelt beside it. He covered his eyes and my own flew open, my body lurching forward.Ā
"What are you do--"
He caught my chin in his claws and held our faces close. "You are a Demon by nature. Your power will grow until you can no longer handle it, unless you learn how to properly exercise it.Ā ThatĀ is what I'm doing." He shoved my face away and stood.Ā
"What did you do to him?" I pushed myself to my feet.Ā
"You'll know by tomorrow when I make my broadcast."Ā
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note:
Thank you all for your patience, kind words, and understanding! I hope this chapter makes up for yesterday. How power hungry do you think we'll get? Can we fight the urge? How persuasive will Alastor be?
#alastor the radio demon#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#soulmate au#soulmates#reqs open#hazbin hotel husk
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hey chat sorry for the month of inactivity. i was unmotivated to do anything with this blog
but then i looked at some of the art on here and realized that i just lost my love for the character designs. so you know how we're gonna fix that? we're redesigning some characters bayybeeee š
starting with the man the myth the legend, here is UNPLEZZIE 2.0
he's probably the only one i had genuine problems with other than not being very aesthetically pleasing. he seemed too boring, his proportions were always a bit wonky, and the way he became more and more simple the more i drew him dumbed him down to just...awkward.
for this redesign, i kept all the features that made him my unpleasant. the only really signature thing i changed was his hair, sorry not sorry he had to fire his barber. i changed his scars to be far less opaque as to not clutter him up (which was the main reason i left them out most of the time), the only drawback is that i'm no longer just scribbling them in with a brush, they're actual geometry, so i cut back on the arms just for my own sake. also his tail now looks (and acts) like an actual docked tail.
next is the QSWX GVCTXMG AMXLSYX VIEPPC FIMRK GVCTXMG GLEVEGXIV SJ XLI CIEV, here is CREEPY 2.0
creepy was probably my least favorite character to draw. its head shape with the hair that always ends off screen, the 4 arms, the lack of any real way to move visible, it has always been a mess of a character. don't get me wrong, creepy is my second favorite character to write for (beaten only by neuro), i love its personality and its inflection, i just never got the chance to show that because i hated drawing it so much.
so for the redesign, i've basically reimagined it. its face hair now has an actual definitive ending, it has a more unique shape, and is just much more expunged-friendly in my opinion. it looks even more like its mom now...
next is this one, i thought she was american. here's PARANORMAL 2.0
i'm gonna be totally honest i have no idea what i was doing when designing para for the first time. that outfit was 100% subconsciously stolen from some other character i can't think of right now. it also really just didn't fit her character at all. also i dont know why i gave her boobs???? what????
anyways for the redesign she's basically a whole new design now. i wanted to play with some shape language. also, para always had a sort of inhuman quality to me, despite her personality, so i've given her inverted eyes and some animalistic features. i guess it adds irony or something, i dunno.
and finally, the moment GERIATRIC CAT you've all been waiting for, UNNERVING 2.0
in truth nervy's design is my favorite. the only gripe i had is the lack of legs, like with creepy. also i had to give her one of the same pride flag ass gradient as the rest so she'd fit in with the rest. other than all that i love her she is perfect just the way she is with minor adjustments
that's all the redesigns done!! i only did these 4 because stabby is not mine to redesign and NEURO is perfect just the way it is. feel free to give me any constructive criticism for these redesigns, i can always tweak em a bit. also the more stripy gradients wont a pattern that follows the contours of the body but rather just unmoving plaid always. i hope this lengthy yap sesh contributed something to something, maybe gave some insight into my characters.
and if you got this far i put a public discord server link in the intro post. you dont gotta ask anymore. dont tell anyone....shhh....*lovingly puts my finger on your lips* *smirks* *bolts away* *gets hit by truck* *instantly fatal*
#regretevator#regretevator roblox#roblox regretevator#ooc unpleasant#regretevator unpleasant#unpleasant gradient#creepy gradient#paranormal gradient#unnerving gradient#gradient oc#regretevator gradient oc
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Castiel approaches Dean quietly, his gaze lingering in his profile, focusing on the way his brow is furrowed up in concentration, the tip of his tongue slightly peaking out through his lips, Castiel smiles as he sits down beside him, resting both his arms on the table.
"Hello, Dean."
"Hey sweetheart." He sounds distracted but not any less fond.
Dean moves the arm he has closest to Castiel's and bumps their forearms together, still looking down at the papers in front of him, he brushes his knuckles against Castiel's and, when Castiel turns his arm, offering his open palm to Dean, he takes his hand, interlacing their fingers together.
"Had a good walk?"
"Yes, I didn't wake you up, did I?" Dean shakes his head lightly.
"Would have like to go with you, as usual, but," he trails off.
"You needed to sleep, Dean, It's fine." Neither of them mention the reason why out loud, they both know Dean's nightmares kept them both awake, "whenever you are ready to talk about it, I will gladly listen."
Dean finally looks at him, smiling, nothing of the defensiveness a statement like that would have gotten Cas not that long ago present in his expression. He actually, to Castiel's confusion, laughs lightly as he takes Cas in, he reaches out and gingerly takes something out of Castiel's hair, showing it to him. It's a leave, its green color fighting a battle it was destined to lose against the arrival of an autumn's yellow. He leaves it on the table and goes back to staring at Cas, his eyes finding Castiel's.
"Later?" He says at last, Castiel nods.
"Of course." He looks down at their joined hands, and noticing the papers he asks, "What were you working on?"
Dean stares down at the table too, taking a deep breath, he sobers up, his smile gone, "I am done, Cas." Castiel tilts his head, waiting for him to elaborate, "I wrote a resume," his voice quiet, small,"there is an auto shop not that far away from here, I wanna ask for a job there." Dean points at the papers, "got to get a bit creative with my background, though." He shrugs lightly.
"That's amazing, Dean."
"Really?" He asks with a hint of hope in his voice, it's gone too soon, replaced by a guarded thing Castiel's doesn't particularly like."You ain't gonna tell me this is a silly idea? That we have lives to save? Monsters to hunt?" Those things, Castiel thinks to himself, don't sound like things Castiel would say, Dean's own inner voice seems the most likely source of such thoughts.
"You have done enough, Dean." He puts simply.
Dean huffs, "I don't think-"
"You have done enough." He repeats firmly, he cradles the side of Dean's face with his free hand, gently getting him to look at him, "and I believe, deep down, you know that too, you wouldn't have put a resume together if you didn't believe you could have this."
"But is retirement what you want too?"
"I'm exhausted, beloved." He says, and he means it, "I don't want to have to worry anymore if the kiss we share before we go on hunts is the last one we will get." He doesn't have a grace to fix it all anymore. They are playing with fire, expecting it to be kind enough not to burn them. Whatever Dean sees in his eyes seems to relieve the tension on his shoulders.
"I will drive to the shop on Monday."
"I will go with you."
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I have a kind of dumb disorganized question. Do you think weāll revisit the reasoning for the San Francisco memory alteration in season 3? I might be just missing something but I donāt think thereās actually an established reason for Armand altering Louis memory? I tend to think weāre all in alignment that Armand made the edit for both Louis and Daniel, (again showcasing how the power dynamics in Loumand are kind of deceptive - Armand is just much more powerful than Louis both socially in the world and as a vampire) but Iām just not sure what the reasoning is?
I saw a kind of interesting post out in the wild proposing that Louis actually did ask Armand to alter that memory and while I think thatās interesting in the abstract, I canāt divorce the race/power dynamics angles that would call into question (delegitimizating what Louis has been through). Which brings me back to, for a number of reasons I do think the intended read is Armand erased the memory from Louisā mind without his knowledge. But Iām back to the question of why? It kind of seems like Loumand is in the same spot before and after the mind wipe to me, is there another layer here I missed?
I think we'll learn more about it somewhere in the show as it progresses, yes, cuz it's too big of a mystery to leave unanswered.
this is sort of an aside before I get into it, but I keep thinking of the extent of these powers. we don't know a lot about it still. armand seems aware that recollection is possible, bcuz he's not ttly surprised when he sees that daniel and louis have remembered stuff. so I think it's interesting why he chose that moment and not others and I'm still piecing together thoughts about it as a whole.
anyway tho. this is potentially a headcanon as my answer, so remember that bcuz I'm def not trying to say this is "the" answer. I have no idea fr.
armand's "explanation" in 2x6 could be a whole post itself but that's sort of ot so I'm just going with what the "truth" was otherwise for so long. let's look at the phrasing of it.
armand doesn't forget that louis thought daniel was "fascinating." he also didn't forget what louis said it meant for their relationship that he stay alive. if we consider that armand has awareness that memories might partially or fully return, placing himself as responsible for seeing the "fascinating" qualities in daniel first and "saving" him from louis makes him look better than what rly happened. without the actual audio from that time period, neither of them prbly would have remembered the rly "bad" parts. I'm gonna guess armand knows this too as he's shown unwinding tapes (I know they're not *the* tapes but still, the visual is there for a reason....alongside editing claudia's diaries too) and obviously this part of the interview was *not* kept to the og version anyone had access to that he was aware of.
assad said in an interview (sry I forget which one rn) that armand is thrown off when he speaks to louis about turning madeleine. when louis kisses him and then walks away, like he could walk away at any moment from the whole relationship and be fine without it. armand in the show says he'd be "nothing" without louis. I'm not sure when it starts exactly but there is a point where armand puts himself in the position of always knowing what's "best" for louis. it's a subtle manipulation and not what louis was used to from lestat. it gives the illusion of being cared for by someone who loves u instead of being controlled. armand knows that louis thinks he's boring so he has to do something to create a world where he isn't....or at least where louis thinks highly of him for *something.*
I always saw a lot of daniel paralleling jonah in this. both of them live to old age even tho their existence is painful to some of the most powerful vampires who could have killed them in a second. killing either of them would drive the wedge between them (lestat and armand) and louis even further tho, and they both know that. it also won't fix the issue. ya ok so jonah *did* have more of a history with louis before that moment than daniel did but it's still the same thing of "why do u feel this for someone else and not me? what is wrong with *me* that we don't have this?" especially cuz both points of interest are humans compared to vampire partners. lestat prbly kept tabs on jonah his whole life too.
so that's as much as I've had thoughts on this anyway. idk if it helps.
oh also ia and I don't think louis would ask to erase anything either. this is a man who keeps pebbles in his ankles to remember claudia's death. louis is so full of catholic guilt that there's no way that man would ask to forget *anything* that hurts him.
#asks#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#amc iwtv#iwtv 2022#loumand#don't be afraid just start the tape
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Scars for Love
Pairing: Regina Mills x reader
Summary: after an argument between reader and Regina and it leaves some tension between them. Reader does some thinking about the relationship.
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This is where you promised you'd never find yourself sitting on the edge of the proverbial cliff ready to jump possibly end it all...
Well not really but you did find yourself sitting at the edge of the cement port, the edge of Storybrooke, the town you've learned to call home. You sat with your feet over the edge staring into the distance, you felt the coolness of the silver necklace you wore around your neck yet it felt as if it was burning right through you, you reached up and undid the clasp feeling the true weight in your hand. You looked down at the pendant attached at the end a tree with growing branches contained in a thin silver circle, it was the crest above the vault, her vault, Regina's vault.
You could hear the shuffling of feet behind you but didn't bother to turn and acknowledge the individual, even as she touched your shoulder and then sat beside you.
"So, Regina just showed up at the loft..." Snow spoke softly, turning to look at you.
"Oh?" you questioned, though you knew the answer.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"What's there to talk about."
"Y/n." You had yet to look at her, but she kept her eyes on you.
"Snow, I love her, yet she doesn't seem to believe me. Recently it feels like she's constantly looking over her shoulder waiting for something to happen and it's taking its toll on us." you turned to look at her. You looked back to the horizon, turning the pendant in your hand, "I don't know if I can do it anymore. I love her, but I'm tired."
She took a moment, her eyes searching your face. "Y/n, Please don't give up on her. I know it's hard to love her sometimes, trust me, but I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. She's lost a lot of people, I indirectly killed her first true love, Daniel, and the whole situation with Robin. Every time she opens up to love someone like that they're taken away. She's done a lot of healing but she needs someone to show her they won't ever leave."
You turned to look at her, she had tears in her eyes. "All I'm saying is that it's been a while since I've seen her love someone this much. I've seen true love but you two are definitely one of a kind."
You chuckled, "I was gonna ask her to marry me today." You had your eyes fixed on the water that stretched out in front of you.
Snow gave you a confused look. "I was going to ask her to be my wife, to make me the happiest woman alive but instead she accused me of wanting to leave, and then we got into this big fight and I stormed out." You chuckled again, turning the pendant in your hand.
"It explains why she came to us, she wouldn't talk about it though. I assumed that it was something with you because she's never that upset unless it's you or Henry, so I figured I'd find you here."
You sat there together in silence, "What do I do?"
"Honestly, I would go find her and make her the happiest woman alive." Snow chuckled, but you were already up and running toward your car. She quickly sent a text to David telling him to leave the apartment to you two.
________
Regina heard the front door close as David left to meet snow, she heard tires squeal outside the window but before she could turn to get up to look, she heard footsteps frantically coming up the stairs. She turned and shot up just in time to see you swing the door open.
"Y/n" she said with relief, quickly running to you wrapping her arms around you. You wrapped your arms around her and as she shifted away, you pulled her into a chaste kiss.
"Baby, What's going on?" she asked pulling away.
"Love I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you this morning, I don't want to leave you, I actually wanna do the opposite."
"Y/n wait, I'm sorry too but what're you talking about?" Her eyes studied your face slowly taking it in as your eyes watered.
"Regina Mills I want you to make me the happiest woman alive," you slid the ring box from your pocket and opened it, "Will you marry me?"
She looked at you with a smile, tears starting to fall, "You're sure, I mean of course you're sure. yes, Yes! I would love to marry you!"
That was the day that everything turned around. You had both been through so much and so many scars have been opened, but also mended and healed. You vowed to spend the rest of your life proving to this woman that you loved her and reassuring her that not even death could tear you apart.
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š·ššššš šµššššššš - š“ššš šššššššš
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Warnings - None Word count - 1.1k Genre - Fluff Summary - Both Lily and Egon secretly develop feelings for each other. However the both of them are totally oblivious to each others feelings, the other ghostbusters not so much. A/n - This is a part of my friend's self insert storyline, and I offered to write it up for her, so that's why this isn't reader x Egon. She is awesome btw (go follow her š«) @lilysketchingsth
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Egon's POV
It all started on what I thought was gonna be another normal friday. I woke up at my normal time, had my normal breakfast, and wore my normal outfit. Nothing out of the ordinary. After finishing my breakfast, i headed up to the lab to work on the proton packs or study some pyschomagnetic slime Ray had gotten a sample of. I started working, but soon after, i had Lily and her ghost pet, Pucca, walked in and took a seat. Pucca is a labrador spectre that Winston found in a basement one time, Pucca didn't show signs of aggression, so Winston chose to leave her alone. Pucca had other ideas and decided to follow him all the way back to the firehouse, where Lily eventually saw her and claimed the pup as her own.
Lily started asking me questions about where things were whilst looking round the lab for Pucca's ball. Eventually, she made her way over to my desk and leaned over my lap nonchantlantly. I blinked in surprise , and before i could move my chair back so she could look properly, she jumped up, holding the dog ball. "Ah hah, got it Pucc!" I looked up at Lily to see her smiling widely at Pucca then at me. "Thanks for the help, Dr. Spengler." Her voice almost sounded laced with seduction as she walked off, leaving me silent and flustered in my lab chair.
Then, later on in the day, I was in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee whilst reading through my Spirits guide. Nice and undisturbed. But not for long. Soon, I had Venkman coming out of nowhere and snatching the book out of my hand. "Come on, Spengs, me and Lily wanna go get some lunch, and it's Ray's day off, so we need someone to drive us." I raised my eyebrow at him."What about Winston?" Peter looked slightly worried before answering."He's busy helping Janine." I sighed and silently agreed by finishing my coffee and grabbing my jacket.
I drove them into the city where they grabbed some food ,Lily insisted on bringing some back for me, so i ended up with some fries and a drink. On the way back, I kept glancing at Lily in the mirror without really knowing why. Unfortunately, when we were just around the corner from the firehouse, she locked eyes with me. I quickly looked away, and my hands gripped the wheel tighter as I mentally insulted myself. Once back at the firehouse, i grabbed my food and quickly headed up to the lab, not wanting to be frther embarrassed.
However, a little bit later, it became evident that Lily hadn't been the only one to catch my staring. I had just finished fixing up one of the proton packs when Peter walked in and took a seat. "Hey there, Spengs. i got a question for ya?" I glanced up at him, silently acknowledging his question. "Do you have a thing for Lily?" My eyes widened and darted up at him from the pack. "What?! Why the hell would you even think that Venkman?" He smirked, sitting back in his seat. "Don't deny it, I saw how you were looking at her in the car! And not to mention you've never agreed to drive me round until I mentioned Lily's name today." I sighed. There was no way i could lie to him about something like this.
"She's gorgeous, Peter, and she's so caring. She's a hard worker. she's smart, i mean, what isn't there to like about her? But i just, im too busy to be in a relationship Peter, maybe after i stop being a ghostbuster, but not now." Peter ,for once, was actually speechless. He clearly didn't expect me to open up. After a few seconds of silence, Peter spoke. "You don't need to wait spengs, if you do you might never find love, Lily might lose intrest and youll have lost a great oppurtunity." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Lily might do what?" Peter went pale white as the realisation hit him. "Uh, you know what i think. i just heard Winston call me." Before i could say anything, Peter had run off, leaving me to soak in thought.
By the end i was ready for some rest, i started shutting the lab up when there was a faint knock at the door. I turned round to see Lily stood in the doorway. She looked quite shy and almost nervous? "Lily, hello, is there something i can do for you?" She meekly shook her head before speaking up. "Those things that you said to Venkman earlier, about me, were they true?" I just looked at her before sitting back down on my chair. I silently nodded my head before replying "And is it true that you might feel the same way?" I watched Lily, she hesitated before nodding her head again. I smiled sligthly before making my way over to her. "Then how does a date sound? Tomorrow night ,I'll take you out to a nice restaurant?" Lily gasped softly and looked up at me before nodding quickly. "Oh yes, Egon, yes!"
I chuckled before slowly leaning down, I held her hand gently and softly pressed my lips against hers. They were soft and plump, perfect, like every other inch of her. I pulled back soon after looking into her eyes. There was a moment of silence before Lily spoke up "Ive been waiting months for you to do that." I chuckled and clutched her hand as we left the lab. However, after i took a single step out of the lab, there was a sudden burst of cheering. I turned to see the other 3 guys and Janine smiling and cherring. I simply raised an eyebrow at them before they all went quiet. Lily and I bypassed them ,heading up to our rooms.
The next morning, i found out that Lily had confessed to Janine a while back that she liked me, the Janine passe that on to the guys. They then made it their mission to get me and lily together, which became a lot easier when i suddenly and obviously caught feelings for Lily. So peter had lied about Ray being off and Winston helping Janine, it all so that Lily and I would spend time together. Although it's annoying to admit they're right, without the guys, I most likely wouldn't have ended up with the beautiful woman i now call my wife, Mrs Lily Spengler.
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Please. Barnes is jealous that the reader is talking to another soldier. (sorry if my english is wrong)
I Oughta Be God.
Robert Barnes x Reader.
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wonderful gif by @woman-with-no-name
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-"You done waxin' poetic with that boy?"-
-"Sir?"-
-"Waxin' poetic. You just about done?"-
Sergeant Barnes's voice halts you mid stride and you stop to look at him, unable to immediately process what it was he meant only for it to hit you like a stray bullet; You did the unthinkable and supposedly broke all conduct protocol. You took the effort to show some human empathy towards one of the short timers whose toes literally threatened to decay inside of his own boots due to the long marches and the potent cocktail of near constant humidity. One thing these men needed was some kindness and you intended to show it to them to maintain some vestige of humanity among the ranks, wanting to lead by quiet day-to-day example, deciding to stand your ground on the matter. This was a question of morale. -"Tropical ulcer. Jungle rot."- You explain matter-of-factly, hugging your equipment close to your chest almost as a shield of sorts, introspective enough to confess to yourself that the man frightened you even while he was there indulging in the seemingly unassuming hobby of sitting down, playing cards with a couple of his eerily silent men, heads kept down, like he slightly frightened them too. -"I have to talk to him about it, sir. I'm sorry. The nature of it is purely informative."- You add, portraying the blunt banality of the topic. People around here needed to understand the illnesses they suffered from and how to prevent them from happening again in the future. It was literally your job, outside of helping them, to explain deterrent measures.
Sergeant Barnes didn't seem to agree.
-"Y'need to be treatin' him and makin' sure his toes don't go fallin' off and stickin' to his goddamn boots like paste. Not talkin'. Ain' no talkin' gonna fix him now."-
His heavy drawl is there laced with ample sarcasm dripping through like poison almost like he intended to imply your patient was done for, long since dead already, written off and that there was no helping him; now that --- it pushes your buttons hard and even though you knew he cared for his men in his own strange way, the callous way he talked about potential harm reeked of unnecessary cruelty. You tended to let a great many wry remarks around camp go in through one ear and out the other, but however calm you intended to be, you decide to cut the crap for lack of a better word. -"I didn't realize speaking to the men on base is against regulations or forbidden, sir, all due respect."- You retort, calmly --- as calmly and as kindly as you could so the point would be more poignant, not blurred by a freakout. Barnes gives you a look. Strange and half lidded that could almost be translated as sure is if I say it is. A deck of playing cards still in his hands, you gulp, feeling the need to clarify yourself once he says nothing more, minding his game instead, for the moment anyway. His sudden silences tended to make you nervous. Was impossible to know what he was thinking. -"I'm talking to you right now, sir, aren't I?"- You ask, trying to alleviate the tension; if the rules were the same for everyone technically you were wasting valuable time going back and forth that you could've been spent preparing Morepenicillin, Metronidazole and a general cocktail of anti-fungal antibiotics for that poor private's foot.
-"I own your ass out here. You belong to me, beaut."-
He shoots back suddenly, focusing his gaze back at you.
Your breath hitches.
Was nothing new, Barnes telling people he owns them, flat out.
He did it on a near daily basis, in fact.
When he says it to you, though ---
Beaut. The general scrambled nature of your brain right about now allows you to process that he's called you beaut ten seconds later than the actual moniker was uttered, leaving your mind in chaos as you tried to quickly deduce and decide if he was mocking you, being sarcastic again, trying to put you down or ---
The men seated around him around him are as silent as the grave. No snickering.
They weren't even looking at you, hyperfocused on their respective stacks instead.
-"I'm the only one y'all should be talkin' to and that includes you more than anyone."-
Barnes assesses himself and for some reason you find yourself tongue tied, unsure what to say to that without directly arguing with your superior, your better instinct overshadowed by some chemical in your brain that irrationally made you weigh the idea. Resent it yet weigh it. The idea of only ever talking to Barnes. You legs cannot move from where you were standing. You felt that you could only really move if he told you. He tilts his head, lips pressed into a hard line, setting down his cards on the table from the box he was seated on. Full House. Suddenly, the load of medications, needles and syringes you were carrying, having felt weightless a moment ago feels as heavy as a boulder in your arms now. What was this conversation even? -"I oughta be God to you."- He looks straight at you then and you could swear your legs were on the verge of crumbling from underneath you. The company of men around him falling into such a deep state of general quietude you could practically hear them all breathe around a makeshift table of beer cans, ashtrays and cigarette buds. Unwittingly and intrusively you imagine Barnes as a shadow looming over the jungle perimeters like God himself, swallowing you whole, finding a rare mercy when he nods his head wordlessly, giving you dismissal. Only then do you feel your legs move. Once he allows them to. His command that you spare your words only for him seemed non-enforceable but he nonetheless gives the order with such quiet gravitas you believe it to be.
Almost like a sort of magic.
-"Understood, sir."-
You mutter, getting the hell on out of his presence as fast as you could.
Fearing you could get burned if you stayed.
W --- what was that?
Did he really give you a direct order to never speak to anyone but him ever again?
#platoon#platoon 1986#platoon imagine#platoon imagines#platoon reader insert#platoon reader inserts#platoon headcanon#platoon headcanons#robert barnes#bob barnes#robert barnes x reader#bob barnes x reader#robert barnes headcanon#robert barnes headcanons#bob barnes headcanon#bob barnes headcanons#robert barnes imagine#robert barnes imagines#bob barnes imagine#bob barnes imagines
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