#i know i don’t have to share every single piece of ff i write

[osamucide]

i have whump/dd and angst and hurt/comfort ideas that i’m too scared to share lest the hoes sabotage me

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

[painterofhorizons]

Fanfic "time" meme: Wednesday, friday, september, and minutes

Thank you for the ask! From this writer ask meme, feel free to send in more. Under a cut because it's a bit lengthy, and partially copied from earlier answers from a while ago.

wednesday: name a fic which you have posted which you think is underrated? and

friday: most self-indulgent fic you have ever posted?

I'll answer them together, because the answer is pretty much the same:

Posted: I would say On the Helmsman’s Watch. Post-Feros Shepard/Joker friendship fic about beacon mind fuckery and Joker being awesome. I knew it was something that wouldn’t have a broad audience due to very specific topic and gen-fic and it's definitely one of my fics I hoped would reach a few more people nevertheless. But I really liked the idea and having @swaps55 as a beta reader made the whole writing process even more fun and helped me get exactly the story out in the end that I wanted to write. Turned out exactly the fic I wanted to write in the end, and I enjoy reading it a lot. :D

Written (but not yet finished/posted, hence self-indulgent only): The sprakling unicorn dildo fic. Sounds like crack, started as a total crack idea, more like a “what if I wrote about-” and I don’t even remember anymore what started it in the beginning. But it is SUCH a fun thing to work on. It turned out much less crack-y than the initial idea, of course having some major serious touches. But yeah, the initial thought might have indeed been: women should be talking about masturbation a lot more and more freely, fuck taboos, so why not write about it? And so I did. And I discovered that just writing about it very freely is so much fun, and getting feedback in bits and pieces from @chyrstis who enjoys the story a lot so far, too, has been a great experience.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

Again copied from an answer from ago, and lengthy, but maybe interesting because there might be (or might have been) a different comment culture on the german fanfic website and the english speaking end.

Story time.

Let me first say that I appreciate every. Single. Comment. So so much. Like. So much.

I was socialized ff-writing-wise on the german ff site (fanfiktion.de), going there first in 2004 shortly after they launched and not switching to AO3/english ff reading until ten years later (and writing seriously not until 2020). I have spent so much of my free time when I was a teenager on ff.de, both writing and reading. You know, the kind of teenager-ff-consumption where you write a chapter, upload it, get all your peers to read it and comment on it the same day and just writing and uploading another chapter the same day because of that. :D We were young and had nothing else to do, right?? So, writing/reading ff for most of the time for me was doing so in german on ff.de. And I think over there - and back then that is, as well as within my peer group of teenagers sharing the same interests - there was a whole different reading/commenting culture. More people commented in general, and comments were longer. Then when we grew older, changed fandoms, met new people and stuff, I was very lucky to find a wonderful peer group of adult people within the Criminal Minds fandom over there who was just dope. We were writing comments longer than chapters sometimes, essays really, character and story analysis and having deep discussions about stuff in the comments. (None of us was at tumblr, lol, so stuff happened in comments.) And I cannot start to tell you how much I appreciate those CM years in the mid 2010’s. We all moved on from that fandom/writing group by now, which is just how things go, but I treasure those writing years so so much. I could pull any of the comments I got in those years as an example, they are all just amazing. (shoutout to @sheeplessthings and @calendergirlff who remain from that group)

So, that’s how I was socialized ff-writing wise. Regular and lengthy, analyse and deep conversation like comments on whatever one wrote. ff.de didn’t have anything like kudos, just comments and PMs, and neither of us knew tumblr.

Well, you know AO3 these days works a lot different. And I still find myself mourning these “good old days” comment-wise, because honestly - I mean, every writer will understand. There’s nothing better then lengthy rambling comments on something you wrote.

That being said, a comment I treasure a lot - or many, that is - is everything left on my “20 times Akuze almost gets Shepard” fic. Let me explain (more words, yay. xD)

Gifted kid speaking. I know writing is not about getting good grades. And comments aren’t, either. And I love rambling comments so so much, much more than just “this was really good”. But for the 20 times fic, there was so much praise coming in. I mean “one of the best mass effect fics read”, right? Literal comment I got. And you know why that means so so much to me? Not because yay, I got a good grade at writing apparently.

English is not my first language. I have been writing in german ever since, and A LOT, and I am very confident about my (german) writing skills. It’s great to enjoy something and know you’re good at it, and being able to use it a lot in both private and professional ways. Writing in english though? It’s fun, too, but I’m not a native speaker, I have never lived abroad, didn’t grow up bilingual, I use dictionaries a lot and my grip on english as a language, the details, the knowledge and experience just isn’t the same I have in german. It’s lacking.

And with it being Mass Effect, I am just ANXIOUS about writing, okay? I was first introduced to Mass Effect ff by @tarysande s Grace Shepard fic. I found it when I was extremely depressed, MA studies having killed every last bit of join about reading. I hadn’t read in years for fun and enjoying it - then when I found her fic I have read hundreds of thousands words within I think 4 or 5 days. The pain of staying up all night for days with barely a handful hours of sleep because I had to read it all still feels very real. xD Her writing is so good. And after her fabulous, wonderful stories I have read so many more, and let me tell you, the english speaking ME fandom is incredibly skilled and talented. Amazeballs. Many of these fics are just so good you have no idea. I have read a lot in my life and you guys write stories, holy cheesecake. So ME is both a very emotional topic for me personally, keeping me sane in a very challenging time, as well as writing wise. I know writing isn’t about getting good grades, but as someone who always got good grades in writing in her native language and then coming to the english ME fandom and reading all these brilliant stories from all these incredibly talented people has me… anxious, so to say. Because I know I cannot live up to that. I cannot be as good as I’d like to be and there are so many so brilliant writers in the ME fandom. It’s intimidating. (And I have never met someone who wrote in german while german was their second language, so I only know the situation from one perspective.)

And damn, “20 times” got me really great grades. :D And more important, with all these amazing writers out there and amazing stories I have read? Someone saying they think “20 times” is one of the best ME stories they have read? That means so much to me. That’s like: damn girl. You did it.

minutes: how long does it normally take you to complete a fic?

*nervous laughter* Is a good answer to this question "yes"?

It depends, really. It can range from a few days up to forever. I'm not speaking longfic here (there the answer is: never), but simply a oneshot or one chapter, i.e. one text that is ready to be posted. I would say average between idea/first writing to finished version usually is some days, where some can be 3 or 20, mostly something like 4-8 or so. But since I write whatever sparks my interest and whenever I feel like writing, the whole process can last months, too. But yeah, if the writing mood hits and I am excited about a fic and have time on hand to actually write? I would go for something under a week. I love love love free saturdays that I can spend fully on writing if I'm deep in the process of a story. Best saturdays ever.

[innovativestruggles]

Extra thoughts on Daisuke x Suzue (Anime and Novel)

I was prompted to write this when a friend asked me several prodding questions on Daizue’s relationship and feminism several days ago. Obviously my friend knew where to hit the right nerve LOL

So I thought about it and I’d like to share my thoughts. I don’t know whether my DaiSuzu followers are still hanging around, but if you see this, then this is for you. This post is very opinionated of course so you may not agree with what I have to say. 

I took the initiative to go back and watch some of the FKBU episodes, and then top it off with the novel. As I mentioned in numerous older posts, the novel is the original and was written sometime in the 1970s. If you can read Japanese, I strongly recommend you grab a copy and read it for yourself. It goes into a lot more depth with regards to Daizue’s relationship and there is a lot more development between the two.

Novel and anime are different yet there are similarities. What I am going to write here is purely about DaiSuzu and because there are only minute differences in their interactions in both novel and anime, I will combine the two elements together. But before I do that, I want to talk a little about Suzue.

Suzue

I absolutely love Suzue’s character - in almost every single aspect. She is strong, clever, independent and defies all odds. Her personality and interests are definitely more pronounced in the anime in terms of strength and defying the odds. She does the hard yard - a mechanic, an engineer, a creator, a pilot, a spy, an intelligence operator - she is a one stop shop and she is not just a pretty face. Then we have her novel counterpart, who shares similar traits that concerns intelligence and independence. She does intelligence and spy work for Daisuke as well, and the only thing that was absent would be her ‘mechanics and gadget development role.’ Given that the book was written in the 70s by a misogynistic piece of shit, I am surprised the author gave Suzue that level of prominence. 

When I saw the promotional materials and then the second episode of FKBU, I was so excited! Finally, a strong female character who has all the ‘male dominated’ traits! I was looking forward to what the anime had to offer her, considering the creators were talking about giving Suzue an ‘important’ role in the anime.  And throughout the series, her character in that sense did not disappointment. She did a lot of work for Daisuke and she was the backbone of everything. She even had to rescue him at times. What an incredible woman.

In comparison, novel Suzue, although a prominent, intelligent character, still had some level of submissiveness to her that screamed ‘I need a man to save me and do things for me’ kind of way. Unsurprising of course being written by an old fashioned man in the 70s. So the anime in a sense was a breath of fresh air.

Then we see the lack of screen time. Although Suzue was just a supporting character, she was quite prominent in the novel. The anime went through all this trouble to create such an incredibly strong female character, but gave her such little screen time. Disappointment doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m just frustrated that it is always the bloody male characters that gets a lot of screen time. I don’t give two fucks about your need for a fanservice or to appease fujos, we need more female characters who are strong, clever, independent, does not need a man to save her, is not overly sexualised and gets plenty of screen time. If it’s not one, it’s another. Can’t they just bloody do it all together? Also, have three main characters, Daisuke, Suzue and Haru ffs.

Feminism & Anime

If you trawl through my blog, there are a lot of posts about women, feminism, misogyny, toxic fandoms and a lot of het ships. Although I do absolutely love my M/M and F/F ships, there is a reason for my interest in anime het ships. I am a social worker who specialises in working with victim/survivors of family/domestic violence and sexual assault (DVSA), and complex trauma. Considering the majority of perpetrators are men, and the majority of victim/survivors are women, it is important to emphasise the need for a healthy and respectful relationship. I enjoy bringing my feminist perspective to film and fiction because they are an extension of society. Film and fiction (including anime and manga) are based on societal perceptions, and characters are still, unfortunately, heavily gendered. 

The anime fandom consists of real people and if you look all over social media, people talk about the characters all the time and their thoughts on them. It comes from somewhere. So when I watch anime, and when I see a male and female character get together in a manner that is healthy and respectful, they get a standing ovation from me. In particular, is when a male character treats his female partner in a way that empowers her or if he abstains from using his male entitlement to demean her. Because in society, there is still a large proportion of men who continues to abuse women in every way possible. If fans are constantly viewing content (yes, even ‘cartoons’) where women are objectified and disrespected comparatively to men, that rigid stereotype is reinforced and ingrained. 

I just want to add a note here that the LGBTQIA+ community do experience DVSA as well and this post does not disregard or invalidate them in any way. The focus of this discussion however, pertains to men, who make up the majority of perpetrators and, women, who are the majority of victim/survivors.

Daisuke and Suzue

I answered an ask sometime ago about why I ship DaiSuzu and although that has not changed, I have given a lot more thought to the reasoning behind it. The one thing I dislike about Suzue is her obsession with Daisuke, both in the novel and anime. It does take away her cool, independent like character, and submit her to the idea that she is nothing without first appeasing a man (Daisuke in this case). I don’t want to put too much dislike into her character in the anime, because we never got to see what her history was like with Daisuke. In the novel, I do see elements as to why she can be a bit obsessive, and that was most likely to do with her being ‘adopted’ and given a second chance. It was her way of showing appreciation. Yet she does have romantic feelings for Daisuke, so in essence, her character was emphasised as a typical lovestruck woman 😒

Again, she was incredibly loyal and forgiving towards Daisuke in the anime, despite his shitty attitude towards her at times. You’re probably wondering, after all that I wrote about feminism, why I would still ship DaiSuzu? In the anime, that comes down to Daisuke’s trauma. It added an extra layer of complexity. Daisuke’s standoffish, cold behaviour towards Suzue was not out of a sense of male entitlement and disrespect towards Suzue being a woman, rather, it was a manifestation of his trauma. Of course, it does not excuse his behaviour, but this is the reason why I really enjoyed watching their relationship. There was a lot of mutual trust going on (which I wrote about), covert appreciation of Suzue’s skills and abilities and Daisuke’s own way of making amends with her. 

In the novel, however, Daisuke does not have a history of any traumatic experiences. His personality was a lot more animated and though he does exhibit some weird behaviour towards Suzue, he does not do it out of male privilege or misogyny. He was just dense (and an idiot).  

Regardless, DaiSuzu’s relationship isn’t just as simple as black and white. There are elements of feminism that intertwines the anime and what I love a lot about Daisuke was that he never put Suzue down, felt intimidated, or tried to make her feel inadequate for being more clever and more intelligent than him. He relied on her knowledge, her skills and her expertise to guide him through his missions, because not only did he trust her with his life, he believed in her skills. He quietly allowed her to do her job without questioning her abilities or intervening.

I won’t discuss how shit the anime was and how much they shat on Suzue’s character by making her Daisuke’s relative, but like I said, I was pretty impressed with the way they turned Suzue into a strong character, and Daisuke’s perception of Suzue as a woman.

And yes, Daisuke doesn’t deserve Queen Suzue. And if you were again to ask me about Daisuke’s true feelings for Suzue? I am pretty damn certain that he loves her to death - in both novel AND anime.

[chemicallady]

Dr and Dr Reid

Part I

A/N: Hi everyone! First of all , thank you for reading this! That's my first time writing this kind of FF and I am pretty nervous!! For me is a good exercise because I am not an English native speaker, so I hope that you will enjoy even if is not perfect! I want to start a mini series on the topic academic! Reader x Spencer Reid because the world deserves it (and because I am an academic so lol let me dream a bit with you and let me also entroduce you in this 'magic' world). Thank you again and enjoy,! I appreciate comments or corrections! ♡

Couple: Spencer Reid/Female!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warning: //

Summary:  (y/n) is a PhD candidate in forensic anthropology at the University of Las Vegas and she is at her first convention as a speaker. Dr. Spencer Reid is in Vegas after a rough case in Carson City and he couldn't help himself but participate to the annual forensic conference when he heard about it. Little does he know that this decision is going to change is life forever.

*****

Las Vegas, November 5th 2006

You are so nervous in this moment. Your hands are shaking while you are grabbing the papers with your speech. God only knows how many times you have read it in the last few days, but it seems that there are an interference between your brain and your mounth.

Your supervisor is here and she is completely sure that you can handle it. You are at your second PhD  year and your results are good. Not amazing, but good. You already made a publication about your job and it went really good, so you can make it.

Take a breath, close your eyes and BOOM,  you are in the stage inside the Bellagio's conference room, with a lot of academics looking at you.

You need a second and a silly laugh escapes from your lips, but in the end, you are able to start talking.

《Good morning everyone. My name is (y/n) (y/s/n) and I am a PhD candidate at UNLV. I am here today to introduce you to my project, in collaboration with university of Buenos Aires. Mainly, I work on the recognition of the skeletal remains of war's victims and I have structured a new way to make it possible...》

***

In the end, it was so good. After a couple of minutes you grow more secure and you caught the audience attention.

You were also able to  answer all the questions except one. The last one, from a young doctor who sits in the first line since the very beginning of the conference.

You have noticed him only because he asked at least a question on every single speaker, today.

You are really surprised when you meet his eyes during the coffee break. You are talking with your supervisor and another researcher when your glazes meet. He looks good for sure, but the poor figure you made because of his very specific question doesn't allow you to find him attractive.

You immediatly keep your eyes away and take a sip of your tea.

The coffee break only last ten minutes but they are enough to let this guy to move slowly near to you. At this point, it is inevitable.

You ask your supervision to excuse you and walk the three or four steps which still divides you two. When you try a smile is a failure, but you are a polite person, so after touching your (y/h/c) hair nervously, you decide that is time to speak openly.

《Your question caught me by surprise》, you reveal 《I am not a biologist, so genetic is not my field.》 That you take a little pause. 《I work with tooth marks》

《Yes I-I saw that》, he replies immediatly, blushing. 《I went to far, I am sorry, but I found fascinating the possibile correlation between the tooth marks and the dna present in the dentine.》

《Dna is too expensive. Especially if you are working on a mass grave》, you answer gently. He looks so shy now! Before he was this leon who speaks about genetic, mitocondrial dna and stuffs and now he is barely looking at you. 《But it was a smart question...》

A strange silence lays between the two of you so you try again. He is more than shy, he looks terrified. He doesnt look confident in speaking with you. Maybe because you are a girl? Who knows.

��So, Smart Guy, what's your name again? Are you an university researcher?》

《I am dr Spencer Reid》, he says quickly, before apparently  change his mind. 《You don't have to call me dr. Spencer is fine. I am Spencer.  Hi.》

He looks adorable while he rises his hand to greeting you. You can't help yourself but smile again, brightly. 《 I am (y/n). No honorific yet.》

《Not yet》 he replies with a tiny smile.

Coffee break is over, so you decide to make your move. There is a good possibility that you will never meet him again and that will be a pity.

《Can we share ours email? I'd like to talk to you again.》

He blushes. 《I don't own an email.》

Sounds like an excuse, probably he is not interested.  So you smile again, less confident.《don't worry is fine!》

He didn't answer your question before, so you don't know in which university he is working. This is probably the last time you are speaking with him, so.

《Then, have a good time and-》

《I can give you an address so we can share some letters if you want.》

《Letters?》

You are incredulous. Who sends letters in 2006? He, apparently.

《Well, let's write some letters》, you reply ironically. But he takes you serious. You look at him while he keeps a business card from his cardigan pocket. He also takes a pen and writes something on the back front. In the moment you have that small piece of paper in your hand, he blushes again and excuses himself.

You watch him go back to the conference room, before get a look on the card. He wrote an address in Virginia.

In quantico.

Then you turn the card and with surprised eyes discover that he isn't a researcher.  He is a Fed. With a small smile painting you face you come back  next to your supervisor sits.

Who will believe you when you will tell this story to your friends?

[side-lizabeth]

ONE PIECE DRESSROSA-ZOU ARCS IMPRESSIONS

This part is the spoiler-free part of my impressions.

I don’t know what I was expecting from Dressrosa but it didn’t left me wanting for more... outside the animation part, probably. But I mean when you get spoiled on how OP’s being animated rn, no sh*t. Although I really did enjoy the new characters. Cavendish is accidentally becoming one of my favourite characters and this is because of the anime of Gintama... But that’s because I’m finding more and more seiyuus in One Piece that just so happened to be voicing recurrent characters (or straight up main characters) in Gintama, so I shouldn’t be suprised.

And then there’s Zou and I’d lie if I’d say I should have had expected an island with furries, and yet I didn’t. ...and once again the “holy sh*t I wasn’t expecting these seiyuus being in One Piece too” striked back. But at this point I don’t know if it’s really because of Gintama or just because I’m starting to go back to my old teen hobbies like when I was a hardcore Seiyuu fan, and recognizing a lot of seiyuus is giving me a huge bust of serotonin. (?)

Above all, I liked Dressrosa more than Zou, even if Dressrosa has... it’s own issues.

If you want to go straight up to the spoiler section, click down here:

Let’s start with Dressrosa:

I thought to just continue this lil update, where I started the non spoiler section by saying that I won’t feel any shame or make an apology for reblogging non stop posts of Roronoa Zoro, I’m still on that Idea, fight me if you want(maybe no); but I decided to explain more about my first impressions, and then maybe elaborate extra stuff from those bullet point-lighning round from that post.

Overall, I had fun. I geniuently enjoyed Doffy as a villain, and his motivations where pretty interesting too. NGL, this arc is basically new world Alabasta” and it pretty much shows... But the thing is that this time it was a little bit more interesting because of Doffy.

Doffy being the combo of Warlord and Celestial Dragon may sound like that moment of the Simpsons of “it’s just the same doll but with a new hat” in comparison to Alabasta, but even if I also enjoyed Crocodile as a villain in there, at least Doffy had a more interesting backstory and motivations to explore... while Crocodile was just an excuse to show off Nico Robin in all her glory. That’s it. I said it. (and probably made a fwend sad). Please, Crocodile, sir, next time you come back please do show us the secret Ivankov and you only know and then we talk.

Overall, I just had the time of my life hating Doffy, that’s it. I’m not going to try to explain anything else. I’m a basic b*tch whose favourite villains are the ones who are just so evil I just have the time of my life hating on. Like Tsurumi from Golden Kamuy, another despicable motherf*cker, for instance.

And now that I’m talking about Doffy... I KNOW UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE CORA-SAN AND I ALSO JOIN THE GANG. BEST FATHER EVER AND HE BARELY WAS ONE FOR 6 MONTHS. BUT GAVE BABY TORAO ENOUGH LOVE TO PREVENT HIM FROM BECOMING LIKE HIS BROTHER. KUDOS TO HIM.

...Btw, I just need to break this impressions one moment to openly say that, as a Spaniard, I feel weird now saying Doffy’s entire name. For a reason. And Cora-san’s too. Now I understand english speakers(americans to be more precisely) when they watch Bungou Stray Dogs and some characters from there just happened to be named after famous english literature writers... (the first comparison I just thought about, don’t attack me plz)

Also, kudos to the voice actors because they did an amazing job and I had even more fun, like for instance Koyama Rikiya. I absolutely loved Kyros thanks mainly to him... Although I wish I could entirely say the same about Rebecca and Baby 5 because they barelly had any screentime or, at least personally speaking, didn’t to bring something interesting tothe table... Well, maybe I can excuse Baby 5 because of the ending of Punk Hazard, but with Rebecca definetly not. FFS her seiyuu is the Queen Hayashibara Megumi, I was expecting more from Rebecca (although maybe the blame is really in me for expecting that much) than what we got. But don’t get me wrong, I did like her but.. I wanted just a little bit more of her.

Another thing I enjoyed a lot was the introduction of Fujitora. I knew he was popular for a reason, but I wasn’t expecting it to be... because of this. I was expecting him to be popular only because he was a blind old man who could fight harder than the dudebro’s gary stu fanfic-like idea they have of Zoro, but he’s definetly not that. Fujitora is a really interesting man who geniuently thinks about people’s safety (can’t say the same about Sakazuki and Borsalino, lol), and I respect that.

*LAST MOMENT EDIT BECAUSE I FORGOT ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT THING* THE REUNION OF LUFFY AND SABO MADE ME CRY TOO. I DON’T KNOW, I’M CRYING TOO MUCH OVER ONE PIECE

Now I’m just going through some bullet points from the update post:

First bullet point I’m actually elaborating: The Colloseum part was hella boring.

I just couldn’t stand it. I barely gave any sh*t about the characters and there’s also times where I’m just thinking that the Colloseum part could had been handled differently, with more interesting characters but well, that’s my opinion. I mean the only tournament arcs that I genuenly enjoyed were the Galaxy Wars from Saint Seiya (the OG one from the 80′s if somebody’s wondering), and maybe the Heaven’s Arena arc from HxH, so even if I was interested on seeing the OP take on it.. It kinda went sour for me at the beggining of this tournament, honestly. The fight versus Diamante was probably one of the very few interesting things happening inside the tournament.

And don’t get me wrong, interesting things do happen inside, like the encounter of Luffy and Rebecca, the fate of the losers from the colloseum, etc. But the tournament arc itself... not the best thing, pretty boring tbh.

The second bullet point I’m actually elaborating, but this time I’m literally copy-pasting the bullet point... for a reason: I STARTED TO SWEAT IN F*CKING FEAR WHEN NAMI’S GROUP ENCOUNTERED BIG MAM’S SHIP, AND EVEN MORE WHEN SANJI SAID “I’M GETTING INTO THAT SHIP”. NO. PLEASE. DON’T. I’M NOT READY FOR WHOLE CAKE ISLAND YET.

Look, by the time I’m writing this I’m already in Whole Cake and let me just tell you one thing; I’m still not ready for this arc. I know it’s very important, specially for Sanji’s development as a character and it’s like a re-introduction of him, but I’d lie if I’d said that I “do feel sensitive” around the themes explored in this arc, and it’s personally tought to go throught it but... Since it’s just too long and too personal to share the entire reason on a public post, I’m just leaving it as the following: “I’m not ready to tackle those themes, but I feel like I need to tackle them if I want to be the best version of myself”. That’s all.

The third and last bullet point I’m actually elaborating, LET ME TELL YOU HOW GINTAMA F*CKED ME UP ENTIRELY

For the sake of being short, I’m a crazy Gintama fan. I’m almost like an encyclopedia of shorts for all(?) Gintama content. I’ve been like this since I was 14-15 y/o (when I’m writing this I’m currently 25), so of course, if there’s something that remotely resembles something from Gintama (mainly gintama jokes or references when it happens), I’ll react to it instantly (but in a healthy way, not like an obnoxious annoying elitist lil sh*t of a fan), and sadly, part of this curse I ended up with included reconizing every single seiyuu that appeared in Gintama (or at least the ones who voiced important/popular characters) in other anime. And of course, seiyuus from Gintama did already appear before Dressrosa; like kid Ace’s seiyuu Sakaguchi Daisuke (voice of Shinpachi), or... Akainu’s seiyuu Tachiki Fumihiko (voice of Hasegawa “Madao” Taizou)... But then there’s Dressrosa and... It just went all over the board (pun not intended... does it even count as one tho?).

And don’t get me wrong, this did also happened to me on reverse with One Piece Seiyuus, but.... coming back to “Gintama f*cked me up”, it hitted differently, because it almost looked like they were casted to play certain characters based on the characters they played in Gintama and... NGL, it made everything even more hilarious. Like the fact that Kugimiya Rie voices a bad mouthed “child” in One Piece(Sugar)... just like she does in Gintama(Kagura). And I know technically speaking Sugar “is an adult” BUT, if we follow the logic of her Hobby Hobby fruit, she’s doomed to be an eternal child for the rest of her life, as in “no more development like a normal adult human would”. I’m just saying what the canon says, don’t mind me.

...Or Cavendish. I can confirm you that Cavendish is pretty much Gintama’s Katsura Kotarou’s madness as an OP character. And now he’s one of my favourite background characters in One Piece... Mainly because of that. And yes, they do in fact share the seiyuu Ishida Akira. (Also, is it just me or is he inspired by Lady Oscar from The Rose of Versailles???)

...So yeah, TLDR: too much gintama made me shout “oh shit, gintama’s taking over one piece”

Now with the Zou impressions

I liked the idea of Zou being an “island”, that’s not an Island but a millennia old elephant, walking around and hard to track down. Brilliant. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s inspired by something mythological but I still can’t point out which one.

...also I wasn’t expecting Pedro to be voiced by Miki Shin’Ichiro, in the same way I wasn’t expecting Orikasa Fumiko as Wanda... although she already voiced someone previously in One Piece so...

Even if it was a short arc, it gave a lot of valuable information like the origin of the poneglyphs and the link between the Mink tribe and the Kozuki clan from Wano but...

What I wasn’t expecting was how we got introduced to the Whole Cake arc. I came to this arc, thinking the Whole Cake thing won’t be that mentioned and... I ended up crying because of the sacrifice Sanji was willing to partake in... I feel bad for that guy... And since by the time of writing this I’m already in Whole Cake... Without spoilers I’ll say: yeah, no sh*t I was feeling bad for him” (also because I got almost entirely spoiled over all Whole Cake arc).

...but look, ngl, I didn’t like very much the ending of this arc. Probably what happened to Momonosuke and the Millennia old elephant may be more interesting and better explained in the near future but... I was more confused than anything, and I’m hopping it to be better explained in the future. I’ll just leave it as such.

Over all, if I had to choose, I’d say that Dressrosa was more entertaining than Zou... Although Zou did deliver bigger stuff when it comes to plot development, while Dressrosa was more focused on the next step to overthrow a Yonkou than anything, I felt like I had more ”fun” watching Dressrosa... Probably because I also want to get to Wano already.

.

.

.

Now I’m in Whole Cake arc, I’m more or less by the beggining of the arc and oh boy... This arc is going to be harder than expected and the only thing ready I have are the pocket tissues by my side because I already know I’m going to cry the hell out of this arc. And of course, have my soul utterly destroyed by the Reintroduction of Sanji and his past.

I hope he has a break after this because wow... He needs too many hugs to count. Probably more than Luffy in Marineford.

[mldrgrl]

1/2: TY for spoiling us with extra chapters! Sometimes fandom can feel mean-spirited when an author sort of holds a story hostage or teases endlessly, until they receive a certain amount of attention. Which I try to understand since it’s all free! And I know it’s hard work. And I know so many talented writers don’t always get feedback they deserve. But, still, it feels icky sometimes. With you, I’m a huge fan but also recent fan working my way through every single one of ur stories

2/2: & I don’t know if you’ve done this before, but you spoiling us like this has added an additional layer of enjoyment. Since FF authors aren’t supposed to financially profit, we can only show you our delight in you & your work, but your response to us feels like you're also delighting in us as your readers/fans & it's sweet to observe this immediate back and forth. Doesn’t feel icky. Makes me more grateful as I’m reading. Although. If I could hack your computer, I absolutely would! haha!

:D first of all, the thought of anyone trying to hack my computer for fanfic made me laugh.  Secondly, I personally can’t say I’ve experienced anyone withholding updates, but I’m a terrible person when it comes to WiPs and been around too long and seen too many that don’t get finished to start them.  Plus, again for me personally, there’s so much content out there that I have a tendency to forget what I’ve read (and even forget what I’ve even written in some cases) so I have to have something completely fresh to enjoy it fully.

That being said, it’s also my personal policy that I will never actually post a WiP.  Primarily because I do a lot of editing while I write and will often go back and revise prior chapters or shift things around and so until I write The End on it, it’s not ready for consumption.  However, I do STILL make edits and revisions while I post a longer work.  It’s just that I’m impatient at that point to be able to share it and give it over to everyone so they can shove it into their eyeballs.  And I know that I love to have something to look forward to on a regular basis.  It’s almost like watching a mini-series and getting episodes dropped daily instead of weekly, or monthly.

I had a tremendous amount of fun writing this piece and it’s very fun to interact or answer questions about content (I just don’t want to drop any spoilers).  I love that people really like this one because I think I can safely say that this might be my favorite thing I’ve worked on.

I understand about talented writers not getting kudos.  The icky part for me, is if someone is writing exclusively for praise.  I wrote XF fanfic when I was in high school while the show was first airing and (it’s terrible, for sure) and that was back in the day when it was passed around on ftp shares and you’d get this great monthly fic newsletter and then it would just disappear into the ether and there was little to no interaction with anybody.  But, it felt collaborative all the while because I had a whole newsletter of like 20 other fics to read and enjoy and it was like we were all part of the same club that loved putting our own spin on the character’s journeys.  I still feel that way today because I am an introvert by nature and fanfic is really the only way I can join in with the party.  Otherwise I’m just in the corner watching all the gifs and discourse go by.  And, you know what, that’s totally fine too!  When I’m in my creative slumps, I am more than happy to see the cool edits and artwork and all that jazz.

This story has gotten a lot of traction, and I have the niche fanbase for the Hanella series, but trust me, you can go back to the first things I was sharing here and the notes are next to nothing.  It never really meant much to me in the first place though - I entered tumblr literally writing stories for 3 years prior to that and only sharing them with 2 friends that wanted to read them because they were fans - and they’re not even on tumblr.  

All of this is just to say, as long as I have the inspiration, I would still be writing for even just one person.  And unless they’re @sunflowerseedsandscience who I needed to review some things before I continued, they’re not getting the whole story unless they hack into my computer ;)

[justanoutlawfic]

how about a fic where snow is in jail and regina is her wife and she ask for a marital visit? i feel like prison sex is what this fandom needs and you said it yourself in a fic, snow is the ultimate dom ;)

This took me a bit and it’s probably a tad angstier than you expected. I went back and forth on how to handle this, and this is what my mind came up with.

On AO3/FF

The first time Regina had sex with Mary Margaret, both were partially buzzed on Southern Comfort. Their clothes discarded on the floor of Regina’s apartment, leading a trail to her room. Her roommate was out of town. They were able to blast Journey as they fucked each other into the night. There was some awkward fumbling and testing boundaries, but for their first time together, it had been pretty great.

 Now if Regina wants to have sex with her wife for the first time in months, she needs to be violated. She’s heard of searches in prisons, but nothing prepared her for just how invasive it was.

 “Cough,” the burly female guard barked after she dropped her lace thong. This comes after being patted down in every area known to man. Regina manages to get one out. “You can do better than that.”

 Regina resists an eye roll, coughing harder. It’s up to the guard’s satisfaction and she quickly pulls the thong, followed by her skirt back up. The guard barreling over six feet leads her down a few winding hallways. It’s so quick, Regina couldn’t find her way out if she really wanted to. The guard stops in front of the door, fishing out her keys to open it. On the other side is a nicer room than she expected. Mal had prepared her for potentially the worst, saying it varied depending on the prison. There’s a queen-sized mattress covered in a simple white sheet in the center of the room. A torn couch sits on one side, a bookshelf with a few worn textbooks on the other. A single fan is plugged into the wall, currently off. A table near the couch has a vase filled with lilies. The harsh lighting washes out the stark walls with no decoration

 In the corner of the room is where she stands. Bags crowd Mary Margaret’s wide green eyes. The light makeup she once worn is nowhere to be seen. Having moved on from the orange jumpsuit to tan scrubs over a white long-sleeved t-shirt. Perhaps the most shocking is the hair. Regina’s wife once had such beautiful dark curls that hung around her shoulders. In the six months since the trial, she’s cut it down to a pixie cut.

 Mary Margaret’s lips tugged up into a smile. “Hi, baby.”

“Snow,” Regina breathes, the nickname for her wife has never tasted so good.

 She runs right into her arms, squeezing her for dear life. Mary Margaret presses a kiss to her forehead, stroking her hair.

“You have six hours,” the guard says with as much enthusiasm as dried paint. “The door locks behind me. There’s a bathroom through there.” Regina assumes she’s pointing somewhere, but she keeps her face buried in Mary Margaret’s shoulder, inhaling the cheapo soap and cigarettes. “We’ll call that phone every hour. If you don’t answer, we’ll assume you somehow escaped and come looking.”

“I got it,” Mary Margaret says, her head going against Regina’s.

“You’ll both be searched again when it’s time to go.”

“I got it.” Regina hears her wife sigh. “Ma’am.”

“That’s better, inmate.”

 The door squeaks open and then slams shut. Keys rattle to show that they are secure and alone. Regina finally pulls away from her wife. Mary Margaret strokes her cheek, taking her in completely.

 “You look exhausted, my love,” she murmurs.

Regina shakes her head. “I’m fine. Look at you.” She frowns, realizing how much weight her wife has lost. “Your beautiful hair.” She reaches up to touch the short ‘do. “I mean, it’s still gorgeous, but…”

“It was just too hard to keep up with, especially with 30 second showers,” Mary Margaret shrugs. “There’s a woman in here who does it. Looked better than I expected.” She runs her fingers over Regina’s silk blouse. “I can’t believe I actually miss the feel of silk.”

Regina nods. “Are you eating, though? Sleeping?”

“I’m fine, Regina.”

“You don’t look it. I could talk to Mal, maybe…”

“Regina,” Mary Margaret says firmly. “It’s prison, not the Ritz. I’m not supposed to look great. I’m keeping myself out of drama, stick to my group.” She sighs when Regina’s face remains unchanged. “And this is why I put off this visit. I didn’t want you seeing me this way.”

“And I don’t want to not see you,” Regina takes her hands. “I can handle it, I promise.”

 She tries to force a smile on her face to prove it. Mary Margaret partially matches it, leading her over to the couch. They settle down, keeping a grip on one another.

“How’s Henry?” Mary Margaret asks.

“He’s doing well.” Regina feels herself genuinely smiling as she thinks of the child they share. “Getting better at Math and he entered a short story into a contest at school.”

“What’s it about?”

“Well, they had to write a twist on a fairytale. He wrote about Snow White falling for the Evil Queen.”

Mary Margaret laughs, shaking her head. “He’s always championed for more representation.”

“He’s doing well,” Regina finds herself repeating, for both of their benefits. “He…he misses you, though. Really wanted to come today.”

Mary Margaret immediately shakes her head. “I don’t want him to see me in here.”

“Mary Margaret…”

“We have the appeal coming up and Mal thinks I have a shot of being out of here soon.”

“In the next year,” Regina points out. “He’s going to grow so much in that time.”

“And that’ll happen whether we do these family visits or a piece of glass between us.” Mary Margaret shakes her head again. “No, I’ve ruined his childhood enough. I’m not about to do more damage.”

“Hey,” Regina touches her cheek, forcing her to look her in the eye. “You didn’t ruin his childhood. He still gets to have one.”

“You’re telling me he doesn’t worry about this stuff? That kids aren’t making fun of him?” Regina grows quiet and Mary Margaret clears her throat. “Tell me the bad part.”

“Do you want to focus on that? I see a bed over there…” Regina trails off, fiddling with her top

“We have six hours, Regina,” she says, her voice scarily quiet.

 Mary Margaret isn’t one to get loud. When she’s mad, her voice gets lower and lower. If it gets so bad that soon she’ll just stop talking and fix the person with one of her looks. It’s always how Henry knows he’s in deep shit with his mama.

 “Now tell me, the bad part. All of it.”

Regina sighs, pulling away from her. “He knows more than we wanted him to.” Mary Margaret’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. “I tried to protect him. We all did. But it’s all over the papers, kids at school are reading it.”

“They’re only 10!”

“You were a teacher, Mare, you know how easy it is for kids to get their hands on this stuff. Especially since it went online.”

“What are they saying?” Regina hesitates. “Regina.”

She sighs once more. “Just asking him what it’s like to have a murderer for a mother. They ask if he can bring the bat to show and tell.”

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “Kids can be fucking assholes.”

Regina nods in agreement. “I’ve got him appointments with Dr. Hopper and I can tell it’s helping, but I also think he’s trying to act tough. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to be the man of the house but he’s always trying to do all the chores. His teacher called me in because he’s missing so many assignments. When I talked to him about it, he said it’s because he needs to take care of me.”

 Tears pool Regina’s eyes just as they did that night. She and Henry had hugged each other as they cried. Her baby boy sobbed about how badly he wanted things to go back to normal, he actually uttered the words “I want my mommy”. For the past six months, he’s kept a brave face, acting wise behind his years. This is just a reminder of what he is: a little boy that needs both of his mothers.

 Mary Margaret scrubs furiously at her face, trying to hide the evidence of her own tears. “I’ll talk to him about it,” she whispers. “I’ll call, tell him that he doesn’t need to do so.”

“I already did, I know Dr. Hopper is as well. I’m sure a phone call from you wouldn’t hurt, though,” Regina quickly adds on. “He just misses you.” She twiddles her thumbs together. “We both do.”

“I miss you both too.” She gnaws on her lips. “And how are we doing financially?”

Regina waves her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Regina, come on. You said when I agreed for you to come here that you’d be honest. So, be honest.”

“Well…we’re hanging in there.” Regina rubs the back of her neck. “Between legal fees, me taking off so much time from work and us going down to one income as it is…we’ve burned through our savings. I had to get a loan from my mother.”

 Mary Margaret groans, tipping her head back. Regina hangs her head, picking at a loose thread on her skirt. The two were never fabulously well off, but they made enough to live comfortably. Mary Margaret worked for a respected private school, which meant Henry got to go for free. Regina has been at the same ad agency for years. Lately, they’ve been hesitant to put her on accounts given her associations. Everyone thinks Manhattan is huge, but the truth is, it’s a tiny island. People hear Blanchard-Mills and instantly ask “That Blanchard? The one who killed her father?” It hasn’t made paying the rent easier.

 “I know,” Regina mumbles. “But we had to pay the rent and other bills. And that’s only going to get us so far.” She shakes her head. “I’ve decided to take up Kathryn on her offer. I’ll give up the apartment, then Henry and I will move in with her in Connecticut.”

“Regina, no.” Mary Margaret’s eyes are wide once more. “Too much has changed for him! We can’t uproot him again.”

“We don’t have much of a choice, Mary Margaret!” Regina snaps, causing her wife to back up a bit on the couch. She honestly doesn’t care. Mary Margaret is doing an incredible thing, but she can’t see how bad things are. It’s partially on Regina, she’s tried to protect her from it. “If we stay in Manhattan, it’s going to bankrupt us. I can commute and still visit you. But Kathryn isn’t charging me any rent or expecting us to pay bills. I’ve looked into the local schools there, they’re adequate.”

“Mal says…”

“Yes, you’ll be out in a year, maybe. Big maybe. I need a backup plan if you don’t. And I’m sorry, even if you do, life has still changed. You’re at risk of losing your teaching license and Hyperion Day certainly isn’t going to take you back. Stamford isn’t exactly cheap to live in, but it’ll be better than New York. When you get out, we can look into affordable housing.”

Mary Margaret clears throat, a hurt look etched on her face. “Looks like you’ve figured this all out on your own.”

“Well, you’re in here so I kind of have to.”

 Regina gets up from the couch, walking over to stare at the blank wall. Any guilt she had before she walked in has washed over with resentment. The soft sound of tennis shoes pad against the linoleum.

 “We’ve been over this, Regina,” Mary Margaret whispers. “It had to be me.”

“And why?” Regina whips back around. “You’re innocent! I…”

Mary Margaret smacks her hand over Regina’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up,” she hisses. “This place is probably wired.”

 Regina glares at her behind the hand. Ever since it happened, Mary Margaret has called the shots. She said they couldn’t call the police. She destroyed the bat. She decided to take the fall and let everyone suspect her instead of Regina.

 It’s still all pretty much a blur. Mary Margaret’s father showing up to the house, demanding to see her. Regina had never met him before but she knew the stories well. After all he had done to Mary Margaret, she knew she had to protect her. At first, she just kept telling him to leave, but he wormed his way into the house. Regina went to call the cops and then he attacked her. One minute, she was fighting for her life. The next, Leopold’s lifeless body bleeding out onto their rug. Regina’s Louisville slugger gripped tightly beneath her fingers. Mary Margaret came home not long after. She didn’t even blink, she just went into crisis mode.

 Henry was at the neighbor’s playing and Mary Margaret called to request a sleepover. They waited until nightfall, wrapping Leopold into a tarp and dragging him down to their garage. They drove hours to the countryside where they found the woods he had once taught his only daughter to hunt. Leopold was buried carefully, not for his dignity but their protection. Regina would have nightmares of the blood, the fire that destroyed most of the evidence. Mary Margaret drove his car to a poorer part of the city where it was bound to be stolen. All DNA scrubbed from their home. It was like it never happened.

 But when Leopold didn’t show up to work the following Monday, a search went out. It took three months for them to uncover the body.

 And who else would the first suspect be except his only yet estranged daughter, Mary Margaret Blanchard-Mills.

 Mary Margaret never admitted to it, she maintained her innocence. A detective friend of Leopold had something to prove and stretched enough evidence to pin it on her. Mal said Mary Margaret was definitely not given a fair trial and would argue bias to get it all overturned. She has faith and Regina wants to have it as well. Just as much as she wanted to just come clean to avoid all of it.

 “It was self-defense,” she told Mary Margaret. “He was threatening you, attacked me. I protected the both of us.”

“You’re a Latinx woman with a record,” her wife pointed out.

“One assault charge, which was also in self-defense.”

“They won’t care. Mal’s right. It has to be me. Besides, either way, I go down. I was there, I helped you cover it up. Henry can’t lose both of us.”

 There’s not a day that goes day that Regina doesn’t regret it or debate heading into NYPD headquarters to turn herself in. And then she remembers the sacrifice her wife made. All they’ve done. According to Mal, the fight will be over soon.

“Then you can go back to normal.”

 Regina knows nothing will ever be normal again. Her wife is locked up. Regina killed a man. She still has nightmares every time she closes her eyes. Their son is forever traumatized. Mary Margaret has been through hell in prison.

 Normal is long gone.

 Regina bites Mary Margaret’s hand, causing her to quickly move it away and shake it out. “I don’t want to fight,” she whispers. “Even if we have six hours.”

Mary Margaret nods. “I don’t either.”

 There’s so much left to say. The fears about the appeal, their son, the future of their mental states and even marriage.

 Regina isn’t going to let that ruin the now.

 “Undress me,” Regina practically demands.

Mary Margaret cocks her eyebrow. “Excuse me?” A chill runs down Regina’s spine.

“P…please,” she whimpers. “Please undress me.”

“What do you want me to take off first.” Regina’s trembling fingers fall to her blouse. “Use your words, baby girl.”

“My…my shirt.”

 Mary Margaret nods. She takes great care in each button, purposefully going slow. Eventually, it falls to the floor. She snakes her hand behind Regina’s back and unhooks the bra, allowing it to go with the blouse. Mary Margaret cups her breasts, running her fingers around the areolas. Regina bites down on her lip, letting out a soft squeal when Mary Margaret pinches her nipple.

 “So sensitive,” Mary Margaret coos. She runs her hands against the soft skin surrounding the nipples, feeding Regina’s touch starvation. “Taking care of everyone else, but who is taking care of my princess?”

 Princess. People often joke that Regina is a ruthless evil queen in meetings. In the bedroom, she isn’t a tough business woman or strict mother. She’s Mary Margaret’s princess.

 “No one,” Regina moans. “I need you.”

“And I’m right here.”

 Mary Margaret lays a kiss to her lips, their first since before the final verdict. Regina savors every moment of it, even if Mary Margaret’s lips are chapped beyond belief. Her wife’s lips travel, moving to her neck. What starts with soft, gentle kisses quickly turns to sucking, marking her territory. Looks like Regina will have to wear scarves for the coming weeks. Maybe it’s high schoolish of her, but Regina will never be against hickeys. She tingles from the sucking alone, her hand grabbing the front of her skirt. With her eyes shut, Mary Margaret smacks her hand away. She ever so slightly pulls her lips away, causing Regina to whine.

 “Did I give you permission to touch yourself?” Mary Margaret asks.

Regina shakes her head, only to get a smack to her bottom prompting a verbal answer. “No.”

“That’s what I thought. Keep your hands on me.”

 Regina obliges, wrapping her arms around Mary Margaret’s waist.  Her wife’s lips travel, leaving marks around her shoulder blades, chest and breasts. Regina fights to touch herself, digging her nails into the scrubs. Mary Margaret unzips her skirt and Regina steps out of it, kicking it across the room. Her thong is slid down for the second time that afternoon, Mary Margaret helping her out of it. She holds the black garment to her face, taking a deep inhale. Regina stands stark naked in the cold room, her nipples perking up from the temperature.

 “On the bed,” Mary Margaret demands.

 Regina nods and lays against the lumpy mattress. Mary Margaret pulls off her two shirts, followed by her pants. Underneath are the ugliest bra and panties combo. Mary Margaret warned her it was bad, but Regina certainly wasn’t expecting this. She smirks.

 “Nice lingerie, Grandma.”

Mary Margaret’s eyes playfully narrow. “Somebody’s cruising for a bruising.”

“Go right ahead,” Regina tempts her. “You know you want to.”

 Mary Margaret shakes her head, a faux disappointed look on her face. She strips off the bra and underwear. Her wife has always kept things all natural, but the bush has grown more with time. For the briefest of moments, Regina wonders if it’s possible for her shaven pussy to get rugburn. Mary Margaret climbs onto the bed. She rubs Regina’s calves, leading up to her thigh. Regina’s gently rolled over onto her side so Mary Margaret can marvel at the words tattooed above her ass. She shivers as her wife traces the five-word mantra. A callback to a random drunk night in college.

 “Pour some sugar on me,” Mary Margaret purrs.

“I wish you’d let me get it removed.”

“If you really wanted to, you know I’d let you do whatever. But can you really part with it?”

Regina doesn’t even have to think. “No.”

“Good.” Mary Margaret rolls her back over and slowly climbs on top of her. “Now, let me take care of you.”

Regina can only really get a good look at Mary Margaret’s chest. “I want to take care of you.”

Mary Margaret bends down, her breasts practically spilling on top of Regina. She presses a finger to her lips. “We have six hours.”

“More like five and a half now.”

“Hush.”

 Mary Margaret moves backward, her legs wrapping around Regina’s. She reaches into the bedside table, removing a bottle of lube. Regina tilts her head. Mary Margaret shrugs.”

“I heard they provided this and was shocked too.”

 She squirts a decent amount onto her finger, carefully applying it to both areas. Regina bites down on her lip. It’s definitely not the quality stuff sitting in their own side table, but it’ll do the job for now. Mary Margaret slides down, sticking one finger up at first, making the room for the second. She flexes them in and out, a loud moan escaping Regina.

 “God, I’ve forgotten how good you feel,” Mary Margaret groans.

“S…same.”

“It’s such a shame,” Mary Margaret’s fingers fuck her harder. “We don’t have our toys here.”

 Regina thinks of the pink box hidden carefully at the bottom of their closet and grins.

 “Have you been using some of those without me?” Mary Margaret asks, pausing her fingers. Regina nods, blushing a bit. “Like?”

Regina smirks cheekily. “Your favorite magic wand.”

“Oh, you naughty girl.” Mary Margaret returns to her fingering. “Tell you what, when all of this is done, Mommy will show you how good it feels when she uses it on you.”

Regina nods. “Yes, please, please.”

“Remember when I first bought it? How excited you were to watch me use it?” Regina grins at the memory. “Watching as it got me all wet and horny, saving the best for you. I want you think about that right now, baby.”

“I am.” She shuts her eyes. “I promise.”

 The fingers aren’t the same as the wand or the myriad of other toys they have in that box. It doesn’t replace their thousand count sheets or their favorite aftercare lotion. None of it makes forget Regina that she’s fucking her wife in a prison.

 But it sure as hell brings a relief from the stress she’s been under since all of this began. A momentary distraction before she’s forced to face reality.

  “Get me wet, baby,” Mary Margaret moans.

 It takes a few more thrusts, but Regina finds it in herself. Mary Margaret falls on top of her, her lips lightly brushing against Regina’s.

 “Again,” Regina mumbles, her eyes growing heavy.

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “We have time. Take a little nap.”

“I don’t want to miss out on anything with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Regina gives into sleep, clinging tightly to her wife. She only awakes a half hour later when the phone rings out and Mary Margaret’s annoyed voice fills the room.

“Yeah. I’m still here.”

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello CorvusDraconis and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you so much for sitting down with us to chat.

You’re a well known and beloved figure in the SS/HG community for your many stories - including a personal favourite of mine, A chance for happiness.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I have always had a fascination for the shiny things and the Northwest Coast depictions of Raven the Trickster/Creator, and, I tend to hoard (and get super protective) of my art supplies. Corvids have always been a positive sign in my life. They tend to show up when I’m feeling down and engage in funny antics in the yard. As for dragons, I’ve always had a love for them and think the Western depiction of them as dangerous beasts with no mind but for hoarding treasure and killing people only to be slain by a knight quite despicable. 

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Severus, actually. I see a lot of my life in his. Hardships, challenges, bullying— trying to be something better and later wondering about unwise decisions. I have a very similar dislike for dunderheads, but I do not share his inclination to denude rosebushes of their petals. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) I have always preferred fantasy and sci-fi. 

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

I am not sure if you would call it a classic novel, but grew up on all things Tolkien (and even puzzled through the Silmarillion at the grand age of seven), and have a special place in my heart for Watership Down. While I’ve read pieces like War and Peace, Iliad, Ulysses, Pride and Prejudice, Grapes of Wrath, Moby Dick, Great Gatsby, Little Women, Catcher in the Rye, Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn, Scarlet Letter, Don Quixote, To Kill a Mockingbird, Animal Farm, Jane Eyre, Lord of the Flies, Tale of Two Cities, Heart of Darkness, Robinson Crusoe, Alice in Wonderland, Great Expectations, Odyssey, Frankenstein, Dracula, Crime and Punishment, Heart of Darkness, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, The Secret Garden, Treasure Island, Anne of Green Gables, Les Misérables, Peter Pan, Gulliver’s Travels, all things Jack London, 20000 Leagues, etc.— they never captured me as aptly as Anne McCaffery’s Dragonriders of Pern or Mercedes Lackley’s the Last Herald Mage. Though, if I were to pick classic stories I read more than once (litmus test for things I like) it would be things such as The Secret Garden, Call of the Wild, Wild Fang, The Hobbit, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,  and The Last Unicorn. At what age did you start writing? The moment I could pick up pencil and paper, I was writing. I had notepads full of stories I wrote as a kid. Alas, my dad found them one day when I was off to college, made fun of them, and I came home and burned every single one in mortification.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

The moment TV shows did “stupid things” to their characters. I used to write things about Beauty and the Beast (the old CBS show) when they killed off the main character, Knight Rider, Robocop, Transformers— there are probably far more that I just don’t remember now. I was writing it long before there was a fanfiction dot net or a term to even call it. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? I am a shameless romantic for the beauty within and sometimes the quite literal love for a monster (not just some person who acts like a monster and changes into a better person.) The misunderstood monster is perhaps my most favourite theme, and it shows up in my stories often if not always. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? I ship SessKag from Inuyasha, Lucard/Sophie from Dracula: The Series, and Loki/Hermione when I’m feeling crossover-y. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? Other than my favourite fanon that Severus lives/survives/finds a better life free of two masters and his guilt, I would say I would want Harry to wise the heck up and realise his father was a swine, his godfather was an almost successful murderer that used his own best mate to try and kill off another student, and his mother wasn’t all that hot either. I would want him to find value in himself without having to make stuff up about his “perfect” parents. Then again, I would want Vernon/Petunia to be arrested for child abuse and put in gaol, but— then the story would have been very different XD Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?  Sometimes quiet, sometimes music. But usually, I am best mates with Spotify.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

In the HP universe: I honestly don’t read many of them because I’m always writing my own stuff XD, but when I really feel like I need a good Ron bashing SSHG HEA, I read just about anything by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse. However, that being said, I often return to “The Sun is Often Out” by Hannah-1888 for just the right amount of angst and HEA to make me happy.

In the Inuyasha universe: A Trick of Fate by PristinelyUngifted

In the Marvel universe:  Mutual Respect Sends His Regrets by moor

In the Star Trek universe:  Gratified By Your Company by starfleetdream

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I go by the seat of my feathered rump, to be honest. Inspiration is a fickle, unpredictable beast, and I usually don’t know what is going to happen until it does.

What is your writing genre of choice?

Fantasy

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Chance of Happiness because it was my very first publication. It may not have been my best, but it was my first, and it very well could have been my last yet somehow wasn’t.

Looks Can Be Deceiving and One Step Forward, Two Decades Back are two epic tales that seemed to demand being written. The fact I finished them was something I think deserves a little pride.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Looks started off with me attempted to write Dramione just once. It failed. Draco demanded to be her brother of the heart, Viktor came in and said “nope she’s mine,” and no one was more surprised at the outcome of that story than me. The characters did what THEY wanted.

I learned that trying to plan a story from start to finish is useless when the characters decide what they want. The story demanded more, and I was just a conduit that typed it down. For me, at least, attempting to outline and plan is utterly useless

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

I think every story I write is personal in some way. The inspiration comes from somewhere inside, and I often have no idea what it is until I go back and read it later. I think the story wrote itself in a lot of ways, which made it easier in a way, but there are a lot of things I can’t say were from personal experience because as a high fantasy of talking gryphons and such I can only imagine it. There is no basis in real life on how any of that would go down. There is a freedom in that but also many challenges in making it real enough to identify with despite how alien and fantastic the idea is.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

Dragonriders of Pern introduced sentient dragons and the idea that despite a vast difference in species there could be teamwork and love between the two as they teamed up against a greater threat.

The herald-mage books by Mercedes Lackley were also important staples in my childhood because it impressed the values of responsibility despite having powers others did not, and that people were fallible despite greatness and potential.

Gandalara Cycle by Randall Garrett and Vicki Ann Heydron: I cannot tell you how often I read this story. I had dog ears on these novels because there was so much I loved about them. It was a search for humanity when displaced in a seemingly alien world, societal clashes, and the great sha’um (the giant rideable cats) that were the main characters’ partners for life.  

 The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede: A princess rebels against her arranged marriage by running away to be a dragon princess.

All of these books had creatures in it that chose to partner with a human and be with them for life, not as lovers that you find in the more modern supernatural romance blender out there, but the ultimate friend for life— the family you choose.

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Oh heck no. Hah. They have their secrets, and I have mine. Personally, I think mine are more healthy than theirs.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

Very.

I write for myself. Sometimes I’ll write a story for one of my betas or a sshg friend, but for the most part, I write for my own entertainment because nothing like what I write is out there. There is a lot of SSHG out there, but mine is almost always a creature feature story. I blame X-Files growing up. It tickles me that others enjoy my stories, but in the end I write to get things down and out of my head. They just so happen to entertain others as they do me.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I will often engage in A/N talk at the end of chapters, but I really don’t engage in the fandom. I loathe social media. That being said, I read every review, and while I don’t reply to everything because FF dot net is a horrible platform for messaging anymore (or ever was really)-- I appreciate every single one. Sometimes it helps to know people are enjoying the story for the story’s sake.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Get a beta, even if you are pretty good at writing. Get one because a second pair of eyes will catch things you don’t. Read your own stuff out loud. If you trip over it, your audience will too. If you stumble, so will they.

Get a beta who isn’t afraid to tell you that your shite stinks in places and you make no sense. You may want a cheerleader, but what you need is a beta. If you are super lucky, you can have both at once.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I play computer games and sew things. I’ve sewn a lot of things lately. Scrub caps and masks for work— 

There has been a lot of writer’s block lately due to the times, and I will not write when I’m uninspired. I will not force inspiration. That’s not fair to me or those unfortunate enough to share in the reading. I want to be able to go back on a story I wrote and enjoy it and not curse at myself. XD

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Sometimes certain catch phrases and things from real life friends have trickled in as a sort of Easter egg (unbeknownst to them since I don’t tell them I write fanfic). Sometimes random news stories or whatnot find their way in. Lessons of the day. Random events. Things that are too odd not to stick in my brain somehow. I can’t say I always do it on purpose, though.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

No, I have a goal this year to finish off the unfinished stories. This is made harder because Dragon and the Rose keeps adding more and more bunnies into the idea bin, and my brain wants to run with them, but I’m like NO DANGIT, I HAVE STUFF TO FINISH STILL!  It’s a hard thing trying to finish what you start when so much interesting stuff pops up and waves at you like “heeeeeyyyyy I’m cool too!”

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Keep writing but remember you can always be better. You can always improve.  Writing isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t about how many reviews you get or how many fans you may or may not have. Write because you want to write. Write what you like not what other people like. Write for you because in the end, you are the one who goes back to read it and say “I wrote this story, and I still love it” instead of forcing yourself to write something just because the topic is “popular” and gets a lot of visitors. Write something you’ll be proud to go back and read and enjoy. You’ll find when you write something genuinely, readers will come. And if only one person leaves you a paragraph review on how much your story meant to them out of someone else’s hundreds of  “great!” (with nothing else)-- think of what you value more.

If my story helped someone through a dark time.

Just one person—

Then it was a good effort.

Maybe that person didn’t have the bravery to leave a message. Maybe they are ashamed. Maybe they send you a PM instead of a review.

That is, to me, the ultimate reason why I realised that despite writing stories for myself that there are people out there that needed to hear my story at just the right time in their life. If my story can bring a little joy to someone else, then it doesn’t matter how many reviews I have. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have thousands of reviews like “that other author.” What matters is that I told my story; someone out there read it and it spoke to them.

I love hearing from people and what they liked about my stories, but I also am glad that there are some people out there who secretly like my stories but do not feel safe enough to review.

So, I would say to the aspiring author: write for yourself but share it. You never know whose day you will make with your story. They may never tell you. They may tell you years later (happened to me!). There is a good chance that someone out there needs your story as much as you need to write it. That being said, find yourself a beta to share your journey with you. You may find a few friend in the process.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

You are quite welcome.

[seriouslyhooked]

Feels Like This (Part 9)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hello everyone! So I have been on a nice long break from writing over the past month or so, and please believe it was not by choice. I am still feeling a high level of burn out from school and from 2020 in general and I just couldn’t seem to sit down and write. Instead I have been trying to relax and enjoy the end of summer and this beginning of fall. Luckily, this week brought my muse back into focus, and I was able to get more of this chapter on the page that I have been building to for a long time. As I promised, the angst of this story is now behind us, but the intrigue is not exactly over. This chapter shows some still remaining pieces of the puzzle beginning to fall into place. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I really hope you enjoy this new installment!

The dreaminess of a Montenarran morning was hard to describe to someone who had never experienced one before. The magic of this place hung in the air, dancing on the coastal breeze and glistening through that perfect Mediterranean mix of sun and spirit. The golden hues that lit up the world here were different than the paler lights Emma and Henry knew back home, and the crystal blue waters were nothing like the Long Island Sound or the harbors in New York.

Other places in this corner of the world must share similar splendor. People loved visiting Spain and Italy and Greece for a reason, and perhaps Emma was merely untraveled and so could not really compare this place to those, but in her estimation she and Henry had yet to face a less than stellar day in this beautiful country. Somehow, through a higher, stronger power, the weather always held, and the mood was always happy. People were calm but vibrant, kind and filled with purpose. It made for a delicious melody of life that pierced the soul with the same humming happiness of a favorite lullaby. This tangible energy was a constant here, and in meant that even a normal walk from one point to another was enjoyable. In short, every day here felt remarkable, and this morning was no exception.

“Do you really think everyone will like my surprise, Mom?” Henry asked, filling in the comfortable silence that hung between them on their stroll from their home to the Center. “I know you said that everyone loves to try new things, but maybe this isn’t as great an idea as I thought.”

Emma turned her gaze from the bustling street they were walking on to her son, who for the first time in a long time looked younger than his years and moderately hesitant. She tried not to chuckle in the face of Henry’s anxiousness, as that would not be kind, but she wished she could tell him just how unfounded his worries were. Henry’s intended surprise for the children at the Center today was going to be well received. In fact, Emma anticipated it would start an institute-wide revolution.

“Believe me, kid, they’re going to love it. They ask me all the time about what things are like in America; the movies, the food, the sports. They’re going to love learning about baseball, I guarantee it.”

Henry nodded, resuming a more assured nature as they continued down the street. He was so cute and determined like this, and Emma wished she could capture this moment in time and freeze it so she could remember it always. In a few years Henry would be a teenager, but for now he was still at that place in childhood where the world was filled with only hope and good and possibility.

In the interest of sharing those good vibes with others, Henry was bringing everything needed to teach the kids about America’s favorite pastime. He carried his whiffle ball bat slung over his shoulder, and a bag of plastic balls in a sack in his other hand. It felt like a miracle to have these silly simple things from home, but to get these items shipped to Montenarro had taken some finessing and plenty of help from Mr. and Mrs. H. It was no exaggeration to say that Mrs. Hubbard had moved mountains for her favorite neighbors in shipping these supplies, and when they finally arrived, they came with the most beautiful note, and a reminder from their dear landlady to soak in every moment and follow their hearts. They’d been speaking with Mr. and Mrs. H each week on Facetime, but these words still made an impact, both for Emma and her son. Now Emma was thrilled to see Henry follow his passion and lead an activity at a place she loved so surely with kids who meant so much to her,

“Do you think Cecelia will want to play?” Henry asked, singling out the child Emma had a special bond to. Henry’s own personal fondness for the little girl rang out in his voice, and the question was sincere and sweet. Over the now many times Henry had come to the center, he had grown attached to Cecelia too, and he was always bringing her into things, even if he spent most of his time with the older kids. Those actions and their bond touched Emma’s heart, and always left her with this ache in her chest like these few moments shared all together were not enough.

“I think Cecelia will do absolutely anything that you deem cool.”

“Yeah, and if we get Killian to play she’ll totally join.” Emma laughed at the undeniably accurate assumption. It was true after all, for as much as Cecelia had bonded to Emma, she’d grown just as close and comfortable with Killian too. It was so good to see how energetic and extroverted she’d become in the last three months. Little Cecelia was truly coming into her own, and growing more confident each and every day.

“Didn’t Killian tell you he would play last night?”

“Oh yeah. He promised me, and Killian never breaks a promise.”

Emma was aware of that and in the two months since they’d had their first date, she had only grown more invested in their relationship because of this tendency. It was insane that it had only been two months, given how much she felt for him, but at the same time they were so lucky to have had all this time without public interruption. For the moment, she and Killian were still keeping things private. No one in the press or outside the bubbles of their little world knew, but at the Center, and on their own time, they never lived in hiding. They saw each other nearly every day, both at work and at his or her home, and Emma had seen Killian on more one-on-one dates as well as outings and evenings with Henry. It had all been so natural that, honestly, Emma was prone to forgetting that he was a prince. To her he was just the man she loved fiercely, who made her feel like anything was possible.

I need to tell him how I really feel soon, she thought to herself as she and Henry made it to the front gate of the Institute.

This was hardly the first time she’d thought this. She had known for some time how she felt and what she wanted, but there were still a few key things that were up in the air. For one thing, her position at the Center, and thus in the country, still had a time stamp. She thought that Marco and Marie may offer her a chance to stay on in a few months, but it was by no means a definite. Also, making such a permanent change would have huge implications for her and Henry. The plan had always been to go back to New York, but if she was transparent with her feelings, Emma could admit that New York no longer felt like home. In a very short time Montennaro had taken root in her and Henry’s hearts and it felt like the place they were always supposed to be.

Then there was also the little matter of Killian’s family, who Emma was told knew of her, but whom she had never met. Even now, she didn’t know how she felt about that. On one hand she was glad that they hadn’t crossed that bridge yet, because meeting his family would no doubt be stressful and have all this weight and expectation. But on the other hand, Emma was really feeling like this was a forever kind of love, and so she had to meet them someday, right?

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite Yankees,” a voice called out from behind the gate. Emma and Henry looked to find Anna who was waiting for them with a huge smile and her hands on her hips. “See what I did there, because baseball. Wait, did I do it right? Elsa, are the Yankees baseball?”

“How should I know?” Elsa joked from across the lawn before gesturing to Emma and Henry. “Ask them.”

“It was a solid pun,” Henry agreed, “But we’re actually Mets fans.”

“Mets?” Anna asked, looking to Emma for confirmation. A soft tug from Henry told Emma to play it cool, so she kept her poker face in check. “What on earth is a Met?”

“It’s another, way worse, baseball team in New York. But don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Yankees all the way.”

“You may look like an angel, Henry, but there’s a rascal spirit in you,” Anna said with feigned huffiness. Now Elsa laughed full out, prompting smiles from the rest of them at her genuine joy.

“Anna should know about rascal spirits; she was chastised for having one by our Grand-mère for years.”

“That’s a fancy way to say grandmother right?” Henry asked eagerly. “Like in that movie with the missing Princess we saw. Anastasia, right Mom?”

Emma nodded, but she couldn’t help but notice the way both of her friends went pale at the mention of the film. Elsa mumbled something about Anastasia technically being a duchess while Anna barked out a quick mention of it being a French custom. What was with her friends and these weird moments any time someone probed about their pasts or lives beyond the Center? Emma didn’t know, but she didn’t have time to linger with the curiosity, for at that moment they made their way inside and were greeted with a swarm of kids, all of them clamoring to see Henry again. Emma laughed outright at everyone’s excitement and said hello to all of the cuties who greeted her too, but before long, her eyes were called across the room, landing on a man she’d been missing for the last 12 or so hours.

“Good morning, love,” Killian said, coming forward and taking her hand before pressing a kiss atop it. It was their little routine now, his way of saying hello when they were surrounded by the kids.

“Long time no see,” Emma said, trying to sound sarcastic but failing miserably. The wry grin that pulled at Killian’s lips made her heart race as he whispered his reply.

“Trust and believe it’s been torture for me too, Swan. But tonight I’ll have you alone once more.”

The promise in his words made her tremble slightly, and she hoped he wouldn’t catch on to how affected she was, but he definitely tracked it, smiling once more and pressing a kiss to her cheek before diving into the morning with the kids. The two of them got caught up in all of it, and having Henry there as well only added to the good times. Unfortunately, they only had about an hour of this bliss before things went off the rails.

It started with a phone call, which was hardly unusual for a placement home, but the call did draw some notice as this was a weekend. Emma wondered if this was an intake request for a new child, but when Marco and Marie departed to take the call, she threw herself back into the morning rush. About five minutes later, however, she watched as both of them emerged with Marie looking pale as a ghost, and even the unflappable Marco looking surprised.

“What do you think is going on there?” Elsa asked, and Emma shrugged, completely unsure. Things only grew stranger when Marco called Killian over to speak with him. Now Emma’s heckles were up. Was everything okay? No sooner had she thought that then Anna appeared, darting from the back hall looking flushed and flustered.

“They’re coming!” Her words were loud and automatically the other adults in the room and a few kids shushed her for the outburst.

“Who’s coming?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time, quietly inquiring so as not to rile the children.

“Killian’s family.”

“You’re kidding,” Elsa said forcefully as Emma’s jaw dropped. When Anna shook her head, Elsa continued. “Oh my God you’re serious?”

“Heard the whole thing when Marco left the office door open. They’ve just left the castle. King Liam, and the two dowager Queens. It’s about to be a very full, and incredibly fancy, house.”

“Oh my God,” Emma said, her voice more a raw squeak than anything else. Fear began to descend, and her eyes looked at Killian across the room. She expected to see a similar sense of dread or panic, but he was… calm. As in completely and totally unphased.

“Do you think he knew?” Anna asked, obviously seeing the same sense of cool that their resident Prince was donning in this moment.

“No,” Emma said with confidence. “He actually told me last night that he wanted to introduce us all soon. He mentioned the Montecarri festival in a two weeks. He said Henry would love the palace’s party. I didn’t give him a real answer, but…”

“But you were going to say yes.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed, exhaling a shaky breath. At that moment the conversation between Marco and Killian finished, and immediately Killian’s eyes found hers. Silently they exchanged a mountain of words, and both of them knew they had to touch base, so with a quick goodbye to her friends, Emma moved towards him, finding a quiet alcove away from the others.

“Let me guess, Anna’s somehow heard and told you everything.”

“Pretty much,” Emma said with a nod. “Are you okay?”

“Aye. I’m strangely - I don’t know - relieved? They’ve all been asking me for ages about this place, and about you, I’ve tried to tell them, but nothing compares to the real thing.”

“This will change things,” Emma said anxiously but Killian’s hand came to cup her face in a reassuring gesture she had no choice but to lean into.

“Nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you, love. I won’t lie and say my family isn’t prone to over-involvement, but they’re harmless, and I swear to you they’ll love you. Who could resist loving you, Emma?”

Her heart sped up so much at his words but all she could do was kiss him. It immediately helped ground her and made her feel better, but too over it was soon, as Killian pulled back, still holding her but putting a little distance between them. Her brow furrowed in question until she heard it.

“Hi Mom, Hi Killian.” Henry. Oh thank God Killian had heard him coming. She did not need to be scarring her kid with some hot and heavy, stress-induced PDA. Looking over to her son, Emma noticed Cecelia holding Henry’s hand tight. She looked a little bit unsure, and Emma immediately shifted her focus. Whatever was wrong she wanted to fix it. “We saw you guys head over here. Is everything okay?”

“Aye, lad. Just a bit of a plan change. You know how you asked about when you and your Mum might meet my family?” Henry nodded. This was news to Emma, but she kept quiet, intrigued to watch Henry’s reaction. “Well it turns out they’re coming here today.”

“They are?” Henry asked excitedly. “That’s so cool! I can’t wait to meet them. Maybe they’ll stick around for the baseball game!”

“Mes too?” Cecelia asked, her free hand coming to cover her mouth in a shy gesture that made the words a bit more mumbled.

“Aye, little lass, you too,” Killian said brightly. This prompted a big smile from Cecelia who ran over to Killian and threw herself into him. Instinctively he picked her up, and Emma swore she felt tears in her eyes. God so much was happening right now, but this moment felt especially important.

The next few minutes were filled with Henry’s palpable excitement, and Emma decided to hold onto that as her own apprehension grew. They returned to the main room with the others, who had all been told of their soon to be arriving guests, and the reactions of the children were mixed. They all seemed to be in awe of such an arrival, but all it took was one reminder that these were Killian’s family members, and everyone calmed down. The little boys especially went on and on about how Killian might be a prince but he was mostly their friend. He played pirates with them, and he was their pal, and they had to believe his family must be just as wonderful. Emma would never bring it up, but she watched as Killian wiped away a few stray tears at their compliments. Unknowingly, this had prompted a center-wide affirmation of how much Killian was loved and appreciated, and it was touching to say the least.

Shortly thereafter, a fleet of cars, including a palace limo, arrived and the hush that settled over everyone was instantaneous. There was rarely any quiet in this place, but in this moment the anticipation manifested into total silence. Even the tiniest babies in the home were still and through the window they all watched as Queen Meera, Queen Eleanor, and finally King Liam left the confines of the automobile and headed into the front hall. Marco and Killian were set to greet them, and Emma could see how relieved Marie was to not be part of this welcoming party. Going off of how agitated she was when Killian came the first time, Emma could only imagine the pressure of three royals at once.

“It’s going to be fine, right, Els?” Anna whispered and Emma looked back to her friends. Elsa was currently holding one of the infant babies, a lovely little joy named Ariana who had arrived a few weeks ago. Though she too was agitated, Emma could see Elsa taking comfort in the affectionate baby, and she finally turned her more grounded gaze to her sister.

“Of course it is,” Elsa confirmed. “It was a long time ago, Anna.”

“A lifetime ago,” Anna agreed with a nod. Then she noticed Emma looking at them. She appeared torn between saying more and playing it off like nothing happened, but then Elsa took her hand.

“We can trust Emma, Anna, and we do. We’ll tell her everything when they’ve gone, okay? No more secrets. Not between true friends.”

Anna and Emma nodded at Elsa’s request and then the movement of their guests into the main room called everyone’s attention. Emma had been momentarily distracted from any kind of worry, but now, seeing Killian’s family in the flesh, she was surprised. Oh they were beautiful and regal and poised to be sure, but they were also dressed in a much more approachable way than she’d expected. There were no gowns or crowns or anything like that. They’d clearly made adjustments to come here, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think all of them completely normal people.

They probably are normal, they just live a completely abnormal life, she thought to herself.

It was impossible to not compare this meeting to holiday parade, the first time Emma had seen all of them in person, but immediately it felt like an incomparable set of circumstances. The three people gathered here may be the same, but their sense of approachability was so different. At the precesion they’d been decked out in their finest ensembles, designed to look like royalty who may care for the people, but who ultimately stood apart. Today, they could have been any attractive, well dressed family. Queen Meera and Queen Eleanor especially carried themselves with genuine smiles and eagerness, looking upon the children with affection and excitement. Emma also noticed their continued glances at her and Elsa and Anna, but both women were able to tamp down any outright staring.

King Liam, however was another story. He may not look the part of reining monarch per-se, but his stance was so formal and still a bit too stiff to seem comfortable. He had dressed down for the moment, something Emma was sure he rarely did, and while there was curiosity in his gaze, she wouldn’t say he had the same soft affection for the children. If anything, the King looked intimidated, as if he’d never seen so many little people in one place before. That made Emma’s heart warm to him, but it couldn’t even begin to compare with the next moment that came.

“Hi, Killy’s family,” Cecelia said eagerly, the L’s sounding more like a w in her excitement. In an instant, she stepped away from Henry’s hand with a smile and approached Liam, Eleanor and Meera without fear. They’d all been caught in a kind of quiet moment where no introductions had yet to be made, and Cecelia, it seemed, had no patience for that. She was taking matters into her own tiny hands. “I’s found these for you.”

“Oh my dear, how precious you are,” Meera said crouching low to accept the flower. Emma saw they were all wildflowers from the back way, and she wondered how Cecelia had had the forethought to do this. Then she looked at Henry and she realized this was a joint effort. Damn, her son was as thoughtful and cute as could be.

“Thank you, little one,” Eleanor said happily as she took her flower. “So very kind of you to give us a gift.”

When Cecelia came to Liam and gave him the flower, Emma watched the large man begin to crumble, and a smile formed on his face. Just as with Killian, it was amazing what a smile did for his features. King Liam was handsome already, as Emma expected any man born into this family would be, but when smiling, he looked younger and even more engaging. It felt very much like a rare occurrence, and it brought tears to Emma’s eyes to know Cecelia had faced her own fears to help all of them feel welcome.

From there, Killian accepted a tight hug from Cecelia before introducing them all to his family. The kids, having watched the kindness given to Cecelia, were immediately more comfortable, and just as when Killian first arrived, a sea of questions broke out. But in the midst of that madness, a rather remarkable moment happened. It began with Liam looking at her, and in an instant Emma knew that he knew who she was. They exchanged a nod, an acknowledgement that they’d be better introduced later, but when Liam shifted his focus beside her, his face totally changed. Something like awe and fascination appeared across his features, and Emma looked to see what could be the cause, only to find Elsa with the same starstruck response.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Emma asked Anna and her friend nodded.

“If what you’re seeing is the King falling in love with my sister at first sight, then yeah, I think we’re all seeing that.”

“Anna,” Elsa said, flushing with embarrassment as she turned to both of them. “It’s not love at first sight.”

“I don’t know, Els, unless you guys have met before, I think Anna might have a point.”

Emma didn’t know if it was her insistence that there was some real chemistry sparking, or the insinuation that they’d met before that threw Elsa, but suddenly she was overcome with emotions and was saved by the baby, so to speak, when Ariana began fussing for some food. Never had anyone looked so grateful to escape, which just made things weirder and weirder. Emma looked back to the King and watched as he closely monitored Elsa’s movements. He appeared to be seconds away from following her when Killian grabbed his arm and redirected him to the kids. A tightness came to Liam’s features, but then he relented and joined the larger group. Henry was in the mix there, and Emma felt her heart in her throat. God, she hoped these people could accept her son. Whether or not they liked her meant less to her. The most important thing in her world was Henry.

As if he could sense her worry, Killian chose that moment to step to Henry, his arm on his shoulder as he further introduced him. Emma could hear the introduction of Henry as Emma’s son, and immediately all of Killian’s relatives looked intrigued and excited. Emma noticed that they paid him some extra attention, and when Killian looked back at her with a grin, she wondered if she should join them. Was this the right moment to do this? She couldn’t be sure. There were so many other people around. It might be a little odd, right? But in the end, it wasn’t entirely up to her.

“All right, everyone. I know we are all eager to greet our guests today, but we have many other things that must be done.”

“You mean like eating lunch?” one boy asked and everyone laughed.

“Joseph, you’ve only just had breakfast an hour ago. No I was thinking more along the lines of getting out into the sunshine and seizing the day. Seems a marvelous day for adventure, what do you all think?”

All of the children were eager for a day in the sunshine, even the older kids who sometimes lacked for enthusiasm. With barely restrained exuberance, everyone made their way outside, and in the meantime, everyone broke apart in groups to do different things. Emma was assigned to the gardens where some outdoor games had been set up, and where a group of kids were out ‘bug hunting.’ It was so funny to watch these kids trying to collect all of these different kinds of insects, especially since she herself didn’t care for bugs. That fancy had never appealed to her at any age, and there were a few kids who heartily agreed. Cecelia was one of them, and instead of engaging with the bugs, she was far more interested in talking about her latest obsession – fairies.

A fierce devotion to these magical, mythical creatures was not something Cecelia alone carried. There were half a dozen little girls who had all glommed onto imaginary games and elaborate stories about faeries over the last few weeks. It all started with a book that Emma read one rainy afternoon, an offshoot of the Peter Pan story wholly focused on the tiny magic weilders. She hadn’t thought much of it when she chose it off the library shelf, but all of the kids at story time had been spellbound, even the boys, and the older girls who had already gone through a similar phase. The interest in faeries had only grown from there. Soon the little girls were asking every adult at the Center for any information they could get on faeries, and the tidbits they’d been given were equal parts funny and adorable.

“Did you know that faeries protect the garden?” Cecelia asked Emma and Emma shook her head.

“I didn’t realize that. But it makes sense, faeries love flowers, right?”

“They do, they do! Just like me.”

“And me too!” a number of the other girls chorused.

“Miss Emma, Cook said that faeries can be mi-mi -michevus,” Evangeline, another little girl noted and Emma bit back a smile at the girl’s inability to say mischievous. Still, at her age, that was a very tall order. “What does that mean?”

“It means that while usually faeries are perfectly behaved, sometimes they cause a little trouble.”

“Like when they moved the special stone in the story and hid it from Peter?”

“Exactly. No one got hurt, but it wasn’t the nicest thing to hide the stone, was it?”

The girls all agreed with that, before a newcomer caught their eyes. Emma followed their gaze to see Queen Meera at the edge of the gardens, having taken a tour of the whole outdoor space. She was smiling at all of them, her beauty really something to behold in the midday sun. Again, Emma was struck by how young the Queen appeared when she had two grown sons, but instead of being intimidated, Emma rallied and offered a welcoming hello.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but hear you all speaking of faeries, and I was wondering, have you all found a faerie kingdom here yet?”

“A faerie kingdom?!” They all asked excitedly, and Queen Meera patiently explained a Montennaran legend that hadn’t yet been shared with the children.

“How many of you have heard about Montecarri magic?”

Some of the girls chattered that they had heard, but from the looks on their faces, Emma could tell none of them knew very much about it. Cecelia meanwhile was completely unaware, and all of them looked desperate for more information. Queen Meera sat down beside them on their blanket as she continued.

“Well as you know, Montecarris are very delicious, yes?” The children nodded. “And they’re very important to Montennaro because they only grow here. But montecarri bushes are not our only special plant. We also have trees that only grows within our borders. They’re called Montecarri Dogwoods and legend has it that Faeries build their kingdoms in them because the flowers in the trees branches never die. They bloom in spring and last all summer, and then when winter comes, they close their blossoms but stay intact, protecting the faeries from the cold and the chill.”

“How do we find one?” one girl asked.

“Oh they’re very special trees, that stand out to even the least familiar eyes. They have light gray bark that swirls with shades of cream and ridges all over, some deep and some shallow. These ridges are the doors for the faeries. The safest way for them to travel. Sometimes the trunks also have giant knots, big bulks of wood that are taut and strong, and they are filled with magic. Those knots are the foundations of the faerie kingdom.”

The little girls chattered amongst themselves. The description of the bark sounded like a few trees here, but they were desperate to know if they had a Montecarri Dogwood.

“I don’ts knows so much about trees,” Cecelia said, when none of them could come up with anything. “But I love flowers and I sees all the ones we have here. Even the ones from the trees. What does the magic flower look like?”

“Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen any myself. We have many at the palace, but I never stray too far from my roses, and the trees are farther in our grove of woods. But if I recall they are a mix of pink and pearl, with the slightest tint of yellow in the middle.”

“Oh!” Cecelia said excitedly, patting the Queen’s leg in an exuberant affirmation. “We has a tree like that! It’s over there, see it?” Queen Meera looked over and clasped her hands as if genuinely surprised. Emma knew though that she had seen the tree before. The older woman never would have given these little girls hope without knowing there was one nearby.

The Queen went on to explain how her mother always said faerie kingdoms should be honored and protected, and she ended up giving the little girls a mission that gave them purpose and increased their excitement. Faeries, in this legend, liked flower offerings, and now the girls were desirous to collect lots of wildflowers and leave them all around the tree’s trunk. This new adventure meant they were all still perfectly within view of the others, and Emma was impressed at the Queens’s ability to inspire them all so swiftly.

“That was a beautiful story,” Emma said.

“Indeed it was,” another voice said, and Emma realized it was Queen Eleanor. Oh good. Now she was meeting both Killian’s mother and grandmother without him. Excellent. Despite her nerves, however, Queen Eleanor, at first appearance, proved to be just as kind and welcoming as Queen Meera.

“One of the many folktales I grew up with. My mother never lacked for pretty stories. Funny how something I held so dear at their age was so long forgotten. But it’s like looking at a glimpse of the past. I was like them once, desperate to find magic and hold it in my heart.”

“Theoretically I suppose I was too, but the prehistoric age was so different you see, it’s difficult to distinguish what species of plants were abundant in those times.” Emma let out a low barking sound that would have been a laugh but was stifled at the last second. The comment was clearly comical, but too late she realized she didn’t know Queen Eleanor’s sense of humor. Maybe it was a test, and not a purposeful joke.  

“Oh Eleanor, you are so bad. What will Emma think of us?”

“From the laughter she’s bit back, I say my jest has land fairly well. Good thing too. After all these years, you’re all too used to my quips. I’m in desperate need of a new audience. Between Emma and young Henry, I finally stand a chance of receiving the comedic recognition I deserve.”

The mention of her son had Emma looking in his direction, and she was happy to see him kicking around the soccer ball with a number of his friends, as well as Killian and Liam. For the moment his baseball lesson was on the back burner, but this afternoon he’d introduce them all to the sport. In the meantime, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. His smile was evident even from here, and though she couldn’t hear his words, Emma caught the happy tone of her child as it wafted in the air across the way.

“He’s a lovely boy. My goodness the way he was with that little Cecelia this morning, it was just so sweet. But I suspect he gets that generous spirit from you, dear.”

The kind words from Queen Meera made Emma flush pink, but she accepted them, knowing that her son was a good kid and that he would one day grow into an equally good man. She had worked hard to develop and enable his best qualities, and though it was sometimes hard to see her own strengths and good traits, she knew, deep down, that they both shared a loving, hopeful heart.

“We hope you’ll forgive us, Emma, for this lack of traditional introduction. Obviously custom would dictate that we wait until Killian was ready to introduce you and Henry to us all.” Queen Eleanor’s statement was blunt and filled with understanding, if just a tiny bit of frustration. “But you see, patience has never been a particular strength of mine.”

“That is an understatement,” Queen Meera muttered conspiratorially, but Emma could see the affection between the two women.

“When you get to be my age you’ll understand. Time is not promised. It’s of the essence.”

“One thing you’ll come to learn is that my mother-in-law makes regular reference to her age, but she’s fit as a fiddle and likely to outlive every single one of us. She’s also sharp as a tack. Very rarely is there a smarter person in the room.”

“Now, now Meera. Don’t go giving away all my secrets. Let the girl discover them for herself.”

It was hard for Emma to know exactly how to respond. Here were these women, the most important women in Killian’s world, showing her kindness and a willing repartee. It was easy with them, and Emma’s nerves had been settled by their witty banter and their lightness of air. But there was an awful lot of assumption being made in their words. The belief that Emma would definitely be with them enough to learn these quirks and tendencies was loaded, and while Emma was glad that she seemingly had some early approval from Killian’s female relations, she was more than surprised at how bold they were in their estimations.

“In the end, despite the unusual nature of this visit, I believe it’s for the best. Here, we can see you in your most natural state. Correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be a place where you are truly at peace. You love it here. I see it in the way you are with these children, in how you speak with your friends, and in how you steal glances at my grandson nearly as much as he steals glances of you.”

Ignoring the part about staring at Killian, which was more than a little embarrassing, Emma nodded. “I do feel peace here. The Center reaffirms to me that all the things I believed could be real, truly can be. There’s a way to care for children who need it most in healthy and encouraging ways that make them feel cherished and valued, no matter what life has thrown at them so far. Providing anything less is the product of bad policy and funding shortfalls. I knew that was the case, but seeing it, and feeling what kind of positive impact can be made gives me hope. And as far as I’m concerned, hope and peace really go hand in hand.”

“It’s no wonder he’s so drawn to you. You’re a beautiful woman, but that passion, that belief… yes I believe it’s exactly what Killian’s been needing in his life.”

“And how are you liking Montenarro?” Queen Meera asked, pivoting before any kind of quiet could descend in the face of Queen Eleanor’s commentary. “It’s very different than New York I know.”

Emma’s brow raised at the mention of New York. She hadn’t said where she was from, but then again these women had shown a propensity for knowing a hell of a lot prior to so much as shaking her hand. Someone had probably let it slip at some point this morning.

“This is nothing like New York. It’s really nothing like any place I have ever been before. I didn’t expect anything like this at the beginning. I was so excited about the fellowship, the place we landed was somewhat secondary, but now I couldn’t imagine a better situation, for me or for Henry. We’re both really loving it here. It’s like a long-term holiday, but somehow it’s our life.”

“Oh how wonderful,” Queen Meera said with a delighted smile. “It’s truly better than we planned.”

“Planned?” Emma echoed, not following the word choice, and the looks in the other two women’s eyes were damn near opposites. Meera immediately looked remorseful, like Henry did when he spilled something he hadn’t meant to give away. Eleanor, meanwhile, was flustered for a moment and then pivoted to a calm demeanor, giving only the barest hint of frustration away. 

“Oh Meera. Meera, Meera, Meera. What ever will we do with you?”

“Am I missing something?” Emma pressed, feeling the word ‘planned’ as if it weighed a hundred pounds and had settled on her chest. 

“I just meant you know, ehrm, how lovely it was for you to take to the country so well.” Stuttering like this from a woman as well spoken and measured as Queen regent of the country? Oh no, Queen Meera was definitely hiding something. 

Still, while Emma was wholly unconvinced, she didn’t feel like she could press too hard. Killian’s mother had definitely said the word planned, and now she was way less collected than she had been. For Emma it set off the alarm bells in her head. Meera was verging on a lie right here, but why would the Queen be so open and welcoming with her only to start being evasive and cagey?

“But that’s not what you said, is it mother?”

Killian’s voice was close, and they all turned to find him well within hearing distance. Emma hadn’t noticed his approach before, but there was no denying it now, not when he was so on edge. Instinctively she reached her hand out to him as he came to her, and he took it without hesitation, pressing a kiss to her temple as he came to her side. The action calmed Emma, and felt so natural she didn’t think twice about it until she followed Killian and looked back to the Queens. Only then did she think of how bold it was to do that in front of his mother and grandmother, but while both of them looked on at Emma and Killian with fondness for the display, they were quickly pushed to fend off a new question from Killian.

“What did you mean when you said planned?”

“I meant – well you see, it was just… um?” 

Meera was at a total loss for words and eventually she stopped trying, looking to Eleanor for some kind of aid. The older woman was quiet for a moment, weighing her options with the reined in control of a capable monarch. In the end, however, she squared her shoulders, exhaled a long breath, and steadied herself for whatever was to come. Though Emma was curious and a little anxious about whatever they were about to say, she couldn’t help appreciating the humor of the moment. Killian’s Gran was a bit of a diva, and dramatic in a way that didn’t fit with usual imaginings of royalty.

“She means that when you came home in need of a little guidance, we made sure the winds were blowing in the proper direction.”

“And how exactly did you dictate these winds, Gran? What have you two done in the name of commanding the weather?”

“Everything I’ve done, and yes, it was mostly me, so please refrain from being angry with your mother, was in the interest of securing the future of this family.”

“The future... of the family,” he replied. “What right did you have to get involved in my choices?”

“I have every right because I love you, because I want the best for you, and because I know that underneath the pain and the changes you have faced, you are still the same Killy, the same sensitive, loving boy you always have been. We faced a problem at your return. You were unanchored and unhappy. You had seen so much in war and avoided every part of our world here. You needed to come home, but more than that you needed to find something good that was just for you.”

“Yes, I needed to find it,” Killian said, his words low but determined as he squeezed Emma’s hand. She ran her thumb across his shin gently in a quiet show of support and agreement. “And I did. I found Emma. We found each other. Now you’re saying that wasn’t just fate?”

“Well of course it was fate. It was fated that I would do some research and scope out our options.”

“Gran,” Killian said, his voice strained from the bevy of emotions he was facing.

“Killian,” she replied, not in the slightest intimidated by his reaction. “I fear you may be overblowing my abilities to intervene. All I did was speak to Marco about his newest fellow during our quarterly check in. When he gave such a glowing review, I was intrigued, and then I saw Emma’s picture in the file on his desk and I thought it didn’t hurt to read some more. So when he stepped out to speak with Marie, I took it.”

“You took it?” Killian asked, shocked at Eleanor’s bit of thievery.

“Well see there’s where we reach a gray area. Technically I lifted it from the desk, but Jefferson took possession of the documents.”

“Gran?”

“All right, he smuggled them out for me.”

“Gran!”

“What? Marco was none the wiser. I had Jefferson make copies and it was replaced within the day. No one was bothered in the least.”

“I’m bothered, Gran. You shouldn’t have done that. It’s not right.”

“In this case we must agree to disagree, Killian. I believe it was right. In that moment I made a calculation based on hope. I hoped that Emma would take to you as much as you would take to her and that love may come from it. Was the means of achieving that dream unsavory? Perhaps, but I stand by it all the same.”

“But why?” Emma asked, cutting in before Killian could. “You didn’t know me at all. Why go to the trouble? Why take the risk in pushing us together?”

“Well for this, of course,” Gran said, gesturing at the two of them, who had only come closer together as Gran confessed the plot. Instinctively they’d been comforting each other, and it was so clear how in tune they were together. “Sometimes, life hands you a crossroads, a choice amongst the many. It may seem small or even questionable, but it matters. I knew in my bones this was what needed to be done, and while I regret tarnishing your trust in me, I will never regret these actions. My instincts were right. You two are a match, and our Killy has returned, better than ever.”

For a moment it was quiet, as they let the meaning of Queen Eleanor’s words settle. This was a revelation for sure, but for Emma there was no sense of maliciousness. This was the work of a dedicated grandmother, and yes, maybe it was over the top and a bit too heavy handed, but at the end of the day it was also a gift. Without her intervention, Emma and Killian never would have met each other, and that was something too painful for Emma to consider.

“Please don’t be angry with us, darling,” Meera whispered when all was revealed, and only then did Emma notice how rigid Killian still was. This had made him angry, or perhaps it had scared him. She ran her hand along his arm and he looked to her. There was so much in his eyes and she could read that his real worry was her. How did she feel about all of this? She offered him a smile, small but true, and then watched as he exhaled a breath. The stiffness of before had softened, and she knew in that moment the would-be-storm had passed.

“I understand why you did it, and if it brought me to Emma… well I can only be grateful really. But please, for the love of all that is good, let us live our own lives now, please?”

“Absolutely,” Meera said at the same time that Eleanor said “Within reason.”

Despite the lack of total agreement from Killian’s grandmother, Emma had to laugh. It was funny after all, and made all the better when Eleanor put her hands on Killian’s cheeks, looking at him with fondness and love, and sincerely promised never to manipulate a scenario of his heart again. Meera and Eleanor then offered similar promises to Emma, each of them giving her a quick squeeze and an honest apology for any discomfort on her end. She accepted it all, but was grateful for a new interruption. It was finally time for the baseball lesson, and Emma and Killian were both needed straight away.

“Are you sure you’re okay, love? I know it was a lot and I warned you before, but I never imagined…”

“Killian, it’s all good, I promise. It’s just a little meddling. And besides, it worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“Aye, love. Better than any such plot has a right to.”

Unable to resist, Emma stole a kiss from his lips, melting into the sensation but pulling back before it could become too big a display in front of the kids. It was hard stepping back but she had to, and yet she saw a curious look from Killian that she needed to figure out. She asked him point blank what he was thinking.

“Nothing, Swan. It’s just, well did you notice my Gran’s words? She said no more scenarios of my heart again.”

“Hmm. Makes you wonder, who may still be on her list.”

Without saying it aloud Emma and Killian both knew the only logical option was Liam, and as they looked to him they found him caught up in another bought of staring at Elsa. This time though the would be love birds were closer together, actually interacting, and the electricity between them was palpable. It gave Emma a secondary thrill and she grinned, because as much as Liam was feeling Elsa, Elsa was obviously just as intrigued by Killian’s handsome brother.

“You don’t think she’s planned that too, do you?” Emma asked.

“Truth be told, I wouldn’t put anything past her. Not after all we learned today.” 

He made an excellent point, but the more she thought about it the more it made sense. Queen Eleanor must have known about Elsa if she knew about Emma, and perhaps fate may strike twice. Who knew? Maybe brothers could find lovers in the same place. Only time would tell, but by the looks of things, it wouldn’t take much for something to blossom between King Liam and her friend.

“Mom, are you ready?” Henry asked, poised and prepared for an afternoon of Baseball 101. He stood beside Killian, and the two of them looked like a father and son, part of one big happy family that had always been meant to be. In an instant Emma could see that future Queen Eleanor made mention of, and it was perfect and precious and good.

I’ve never been more ready for anything, she admitted to herself, and as she joined her favorite people in a fun-filled afternoon, Emma knew they’d turned another important corner towards the kind of happy ending she wanted most of all. Now all she had to do was tell Killian she loved him and convince him that their future should start sooner rather than later.

Post-Note: Okay so there we have it. The big reveal of Gran’s meddling has finally come, and there was an introduction to another couple I just love writing, which is Liam and Elsa. So funny how I can ship them so much even though they were never on the show together. Anyway, next chapter is actually picking up right after this one. I definitely want to include the truth about Elsa and Anna and also show a glimpse of Emma and Killian getting some alone time together. Not sure when the next chapter will be here, as 2020 is kind of kicking my ass on an energy and motivation level, BUT, I want to thank you all for reading and I’m sending you love and good vibes in these trying times. See you next time and stay safe!

[dontcomeherebye]

part 2 to that weird ff.

Hwa placed a finger on joong’s lips, and stared into his eyes. He leaned in for kiss. Hongjoong knew he wanted it, desperately. He was starving for that kind of affection from Seonghwa, but he wasn’t ready. He pushed him away and walked into his room. Hwa and wooyoung shared a glance, and went back to their room.

Joong couldn’t sleep that night.

“Why would he try to kiss me? He literally fucks with wooyoung. Was it just out of pity?? How dare he!!” He turned to his side and pulled his blanket over him. Mingi smirked. He knew what was happening. 

Seonghwa couldn’t sleep either. He finally understood why joong gave awkward expressions when hwa was with wooyoung. And why joong loved spending time with seonghwa. He always had a new plan for the weekend, and it always only involved him and hwa. Seonghwa felt..guilty. He didn’t understand why, but he was sure it was guilt.

The next evening, Hwa took an opportunity to speak to hongjoong alone. He wanted to know what hongjoong felt. He wanted to let him know that he cared. That his feelings mattered. He took hongjoong to his room, where wooyoung wasn’t there. He was out at the mall with mingi. They sat on the bed.

“What’s the matter..baby?”

Hongjoong looked into his eyes with a surprised look. “ba-by...?” he thought. 

“Tell me. I’m there for you. I don’t want you to have to hide anything from me.”

“umm.. well... uh just. whatever i said yesterday- that’s.. all...”

“You like me?”

“Yea” joong blushed. He lowered his gaze to the space between his knees and seonghwa’s.

“Since when? And why didn’t you just tell me?”

“How could I have told you! You literally fuck with wooyoung every single night! I wouldn’t wanna tell you only to get turned down.” Joong was anonoyed and upset at the same time, his eyes locked with seonghwa’s again. 

“Listen. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry! I am the one who should be sorry” Hongjoong was tearing up, and hwa could make it out, even though joong tried to hide it.

“Listen...” Seonghwa locked his pretty lips with hongjoong’s. Hongjoong didn’t like the though of it, but he loved what was happening. Seonghwa slowly held joong’s waist and pulled him closer for more. Hongjoong loved it. They were a hot mess, hugging each other tightly, kissing each other in the most passionate manner. Seonghwa’s hand crept into hongjoong’s T-shirt, but Hongjoong put a stop to it. He pushed hwa away. Hongjoong had a very hurtful expression on his face. 

“Don’t do this out of pity for me. A kiss was enough. Let’s stop.” Hongjoong got up to leave the room, but hwa caught his hand. 

“I have a lot to say to you myself.” Hongjoong looked at him with a disinterested expression.

“The.. stuff with woo.. it doesn’t mean anything. We.. aren’t together.” Hongjoong was perplexed, to say the least. How could two men, who didn’t mean anything to each other do such things at night?

“But-”

“Yea. We do it without any feelings for each other. Kinda weird right?” Seonghwa giggled. Hongjoong was still too stumped to say anything. He only thought people who loved each other did it. 

“So you were... never together..?”

“We were. Very long ago. Back when we didn’t even live together.” Seonghwa broke into a soft smile. He lightly tugged at joong to return him to where he was seated. 

“We broke up long before we even moved here. Coincidentally, we were put in the same room. It was easier though, you know, cuz we were more comfortable with each other.”

“Why would you do it with someone who doesn’t mean anything that way to you anymore though?” 

“I guess you could say we’re humans haha” Hongjoong didn’t get it. “well, you know, we obviously have our..desires” Hwa felt so uncomfortable saying it to joong that it almost felt like a crime. “And you gotta feed these urges. Plus wooyoung and I know what we like so... It’s kinda like how you just wanna get off alone sometimes, except we just do it together” Hongjoong understood what he was saying but he just didn’t know how to process that information.

“But why did you make a move on me too then? Just cuz you wanted to get off?”

“umm.. no. I.. love you. I really, really love you. A fucking lot. I.. just couldn’t... tell you.” Joong looked at him with big eyes. he was happy, but also baffled. He just could not bring himself to fathom what hwa had just said. He just.. confessed to him. 

Joong caught Hwa by his t-shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Seonghwa liked it. He loved it. He hugged joong by the waist and their kiss deepened. Joong hugged him tighter and pushed him onto the floor, their lips intact. Seonghwa looked beautiful like this. His eyes, his dirty expression and pretty little moans. They were all too much for hongjoong to handle. He broke the kiss and started exploring other parts of seonghwa. He kissed him just below his ear, and then trailed his tongue lower. As he reached his sweet spot, seonghwa let out a dirty moan. Hongjoong loved what he had just done to hwa. He dug deeper in, earning louder, dirtier moans from him. He got up to remove his tshirt, and looked at seonghwa, expecting him to do the same. But seonghwa just replied with “the door is open, baby.”

“It’s alright. Nobody’s at home. Besides, I wouldn’t dislike it if people saw us like this. I’d be proud.” Seonghwa was convinced. He pulled his tshirt off. Hongjoong loved the view. Hwa’s abs on full display, his chest that continued up to his very hot neck. His blonde hair hanging behind, leaving his forehead exposed. Hwa caught his man staring at him, and gave a dirty little smirk, licking his lips and looking away from joong.

“You’ve seen me bottom for woo twice, but do you really think you can top me?”

Hongjoong blushed. With a quick movement, hwa pushed hongjoong down, and he was now on top of him. The view was even prettier. Seonghwa’s hair was now hanging only a few centimeters away from joong’s forehead. He lowered in for a kiss, as their clothed, painful arousals came in contact. Hongjoong let out a beautiful moan, making hwa smile even more. He left a trail of bruises all over his naked body. His hand crept to joong’s tracks, pulling them off. Joong’s movements made it easier. He held the hem of Hwa’s pants and pulled them off for him. The two men were now on the floor in their boxers with the door of the room wide open. Hwa took a glance of joong’s arousal, and joong looked at hwa’s. They both gave a mutual laugh at what they had done to each other, and hwa dropped down to hongjoong’s lips, their hips moving against each others’. They soon removed the last piece of clothing covering them, and their moans got louder. The look of how wet they both aroused a lot of heat in them. 

“Fuck me, hwa”

“Oh I will, baby”

Hwa trailed his nose from hongjoong’s belly button, down his beautiful happy trail, to his throbbing dick. He let his tongue explore joong’s full length, pulling out scandalous moans from joong. He felt his hair being grabbed by two careful hands. Hwa was encouraged. He played around with joong’s thighs, watching him moan helplessly. Hongjoong let out a loud moan as hwa took his dick in his mouth. The grip on his hair got tighter.

“Just like that babyy I love it...”

Hwa’s head moved faster, sucking passionately at joong’s dick. It couldn’t get any better. He could feel himself getting closer to his climax. 

“I’m...I’m close.. hwa, baby.. i’m gonna come..” Hwa left joong’s dick.

“No! Please don’t stop! I’m close.. I wanna come!” 

“Oh no honey, not yet. You’ll come with me” Seonghwa gave a very sexy smirk, and touched hongjoong’s hole, evident through his already spread-out legs. Hongjoong let out a loud moan. Hwa’s finger probed further, into a hole that clenched his finger with an unbelievable tight grip. But that did not stop hwa. He thrusted another finger in, making joong’s back arch with a sudden, strong movement. Hwa went as deep as his fingers could, and joong suddenly let out a strong, loud, moan. He had found it. Joong’s pretty little spot. He removed his fingers, and joong felt something bigger entering him slowly. Joong screamed out his man’s name, making hwa thrust into him. He went harder with every thrust, and joong loved it. Hwa was hitting his sweet spot with ever single thrust, but it started getting painful. Hwa noticed the pain on joong’s face, and gave him a deep kiss to distract him. 

Mingi and Wooyoung returned home. They walked up to the door to their dorm, but they could hear hongjoong screaming hwa’s name. They both gave each other an understanding smile and walked away.

Meanwhile joong was having the best day of his life. He was told that his biggest crush loved him, and now they were fucking in the wildest manner possible. 

Hwa and joong both felt their orgasms close. Joong said it first. “I’m gonna come.. pease don’t stop.. go faster!”

“Come for me baby, I’m gonna come too.”

“Inside me... please!!!”

“Fuck, that’s so sexy baby.” 

With one strong thrust, hwa threw his head back in pleasure, and joong felt his warm cum fill him up. A split-second later, Joong shot his cum onto seonghwa and himself. He was exhausted. They both were. Seonghwa fell down onto joong’s chest, who caressed his beautiful blonde locks. 

A few minutes later, they both got up and helped eact other clean up. None of them could forget about what they had just done. They put their boxers on and went to bed. Seonghwa carefully covered his baby with the blanket. Joong caught seonghwa’s farther shoulder, and lay his head on his wide, warm chest. Hwa caressed his hair affectionately, and wooyoung returned to see them both asleep in that position, with their tshirts and pants on the floor. 

Hongjoong didn’t replace wooyoung though. He had just joined the duo, although he was Seonghwa’s only boyfriend.

HELP WTF DID I JUST WRITE PLEASEKADJHSDG

[woozisnoots]

Hello! I found you by chance and just wanted to say that your writing and organization nd while vibe is inspiring for me. I've been writing for a little over a decade and barely had the courage to post my stories online and when I do, the lack of response makes me doubt myself and I end up deleting it all after a few months. Seeing your work and behavior makes me want to try again, and if the svt ff community is alive, maybe I'll try my luck. I'll take any advice youve got! Stay strong and safe.

hi anon!!! i’m so sorry this took such a long while to get to :( i really wanted to give you a well, thoughtout response bc trust me, this was me when i first started to post and i just wanted to find the right words to say 🥺

omg wait but FIRST OFF i wanted to say thank you so much for your sweet words!! i literally fell down my staircase reading your msg bc i was so jittery like akskgjska I INSPIRED YOU?? ME? anon, i am puddy in your arms, you have my entire heart 🤧♥️

(but anyways) honestly, i’m still fairly new to the carat writing community here, but these pieces of advice really helped me when i first started! it’s not a whole lot but i would love to share in hopes that it might help you as much as it did for me!

don’t worry so much over numbers. its so easy to get sucked up, worrying over how many notes one piece gets versus another. but that, by no means, does not define the value, effort, and hard work that you put into your writing! you should be proud with whatever you put out ✨

write what YOU want. THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY, LITERALLY THE BEST ADVICE ANYONE HAS GIVEN ME. it doesn’t matter if something’s already been done, if you’re writing for a less popular member. someone out there is going to eat it up and love it, and better yet, YOU are gonna love it even more. lemme tell ya, the very first fake texts post i made, i was just messing around with the app. i liked it, it did fairly well. but then i made an even b e t t e r post with boo seungkwan that i LOVED and that one didn’t do so hot :/ but ykw, it still stands bc i absolutely love looking back at it and admiring my own work 🌺☺️

this might be a little far-fetched and i know a lot of writers don’t necessarily do this buuuut— interact with other writers AND your readers. writers crave interaction. or at least i do 🤪 if you love someone’s work, tell them about it! if you notice someone constantly liking the work you put out, give them a quick ⭐️thank you for reading⭐️ via dm, anon, anything! i am guilty of doing both 😌 honestly if i hadn’t reached out to some of my favorite writers and freely asked for advice or even asked for their opinions on fic ideas, i would have never had the courage to even pick up a pen / type a single word on my computer. i’ve made so many writer friends who continue to support and encourage me, push my every single day to write and all i did was say ‘hi! how are you? 😊’

ahhh this wasn’t a whole lot but hopefully you got at least one helpful thing from my word vomit that i call advice ;-; but hey! you’ve been writing for over a decade?! that’s crazy!! your work deserves to see the light of day bc i bet they’re absolutely amazing. and by the end, if you do end up posting, i would love to read it!! sending you all the luck and love !! 🌸💞💗

[neirawrites]

I was a Twihard in high school. Then I was a Twilight hater. In  2018, I decided to reread the first book, to see for myself on which side I belonged. I wrote my thoughts as I read, in multiple parts, but on my main blog, so I thought I might share them on my writeblr too, because I kinda had fun with it. 

Enjoy my many, many notes

Pages 0-50

I’m actually kinda into it. Yeah, there are a many issues every article on editing tells you to fix (filter words, -ing verbs and things like that), but i feel it. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there.

Bella isn’t that bad of a protagonist. Nothing too spectacular, but she’s fine. She is depressed, self sacrificing and hides her feelings, but also a lot more self aware than i though she would be(like when she notices mike, my son, likes her). She’s a typical teenage girl, the introverted type, way into reading. there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know why i remember Edward being a draco in leather pants,but he’s also fine for now. mysterious and handsome and a bit weird. The first real conversation they have, he’s polite and nice and charming. I expected him to be a dick for like 150 pages at least.

Pages 50-100

I’m still really into it.

Yeah,Edward kinda ghosts her/gaslights her after the whole van incident, but with the benefit of hindsight,i kinda get it. It’s a wonder he didn’t pick up his entire family and moved to Alaska again. I also get her mood during that time and I've been there so i feel ya,Bella,it’s not your fault.

And yeah, Bella gets invited to the dance by three different guys and it’s all kinds of fan fic-y, but the fact she turns them down furthers my belief she’s wake up married to Edward in like a few years and realize she would rather be with Rosalie (a solid choice, might i add).

Edward’s really pushy, especially when it comes to the scene after she faints. like, let her go, you jerk, she can drive herself, but he’s more weird than he’s a jerk and i think that was intentional.

A big surprise was the line “what if i’m not the hero, what if i’m the bad guy?” which isn’t this super cheesy, extra dramatic sentence but a jokey joke told with a laugh. actually, that whole conversation in the cafeteria where she tries to guess what he is is gold and don’t try to tell me otherwise.

I’m reading her interests in him as less of a romantic thing, and more of frustration at his behavior,like she would still be fascinated by him if he wasn’t so hot because he’s just so weird (but being hot is definitely a plus).

Plot? What plot?

Still, while the flaws are there, i’m still enjoying it very much.

Pages 100-150

Is Stephanie Meyer into anime? Cuz she wrote a harem light novel,that’s what she did and that’s how i’ll read it from now on and have more fun doing it. (Might make a post elaborating on this further).

All this to say that we got to Jacob. Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot about him.  He seems like a nice kid and i’m glad Bella has some positive interaction. Team jacoj 4 life (jk,man,i was team jasper in high school which is in retrospect very weird of me). I know he becomes a friend-zoned dudebro later, but for now, he’s fine.

Meyer, lady, you’re winning me over as a half hearted defender of your work, but why are the girls so bitchy? Yeah,i know, bitchy girls exist in real life, especially in high schools,but girls are our friends and we need more positive female on female interactions. Just my personal preference, I guess.

Things are getting interesting. Bella’s dreaming weird dreams (just fyi, not a big fan of dream scenes in general), she’s googling like crazy  and we’re going to Port Angeles.

I never felt she has any sort of affection for Angela or Jessica who seem really nice and have done nothing wrong. Like loosen up Bella, give them a chance. I know, depression makes you into a bitch sometimes, but it would warm me up to her character if she was a little more affectionate with people around her.

That whole scene where she almost gets at best beaten up and mugged and at worst raped and killed is… not my favorite part of the whole thing. I get what Meyer needed to do, to have her be saved by Edward, but there must have been a better way to go about it. What do I know? I’m the queen of forced plot contrivances. I do like their conversation at the restaurant (again, why do we hate the female waitress, Steph?). I don’t know why, I expected Edward to be mad at Bella for what happened to her and he seems genuinely concerned and his anger feels… human. Some of his actions, however, do not.

He stalked her which is weird and creepy and I hate it. Don’t stalk people, Edward. most of us don’t like it. you’re lucky Bella’s a weirdo.

150-200

I kinda love how ok she’s with the whole vampire thing. she’s just “well, this kid i barely know told me a scary story, so i guess the guy from school is a vampire. it be like that sometimes.” my first assumption would be it’s all an elaborate prank to make fun of me (i have some deep seeded trust issues origins of which remain unknown). and he’s waaay to quick to confirm her suspicions. I think there’s an explanation in the part of midnight sun that got leaked, but that was like a century ago.

I would criticize her for being ride or die with Edward so fast, falling in love with him so quickly, but i exchanged like 5 sentences with a cute girl last night and a part of is ready to propose based on the artiness of her instagam, so who the eff am i to judge?

and i get why he’s fascinated with her. she’s the only one he can’t read.

why? i don’t think that question ever gets a good enough answer, but it’s a fictional story about a girl falling in love with a sparky vampire. i’m not here for complex science or detailed explanations.

he seems waaay too protective of her. She’s a big girl, Ed, she can take care of herself. It’s actually kinda annoying. i dislike how he treats like a child a lot of the time. he seems pretty condescending. also, if he broke her car, i’m taking back everything nice i said about him.

ok, let me finally address bella’s biggest character flaw, her clumsiness. i mean, i get why she has it but Meyer goes a bit too hard on it. i’m clumsy, i really am, full of bruises, always bumping into things, but Bella can’t walk 20 meters without tripping. i guess i’m just glad she becomes a vampire in the book four, otherwise the book five would have been about her struggles when she’s diagnosed with a stage four inoperable brain tumor that’s been mesing with her sense of balance and the whole things turns into a weird version of the fault in our starts.

if i were writing it i would focus on her trust issues and being unable to form real bonds with other people as her main flaw, maybe even use it to try and justify the whole thing with the mind Edward can’t read. Like, she’s too different in a way that makes her unable to connect even on a basic level, like that one Blue whale that sings at a different frequency than all the others. Idk,i write pulpy sci fi. but it’s easy to be a general after the battle.

we got to the two infamous lines:

how are you? 17. how long have you been 17?  is another line that’s more jokey than i though it would be, but also the most realistic piece of dialogue in this book. i would so ask the same thing.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, this paragraph has been memed to death. Second, there was a part of me-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that would know every word of it till the day i died. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in like with it.

200-300

Not gonna lie, the whole part where he goes around asking her questions he is legitimately interested in knowing the answers to is at the same time my kinkiest fantasy and my deepest fear. like, yaaas, daddy, get to know me on the personal level and don’t be turn off by the fact i’m a tabula rasa.

We got to the infamous meadow scene and Bella is sooo horny on main for that vampire stake it’s actually kinda funny. She gets so effing into it she faints. I fucking love this girl. Go get that adonis dick, Bella, you deserve it.

I don’t mind vampires sparkle.i mean,it’s lame and fanfic-y but in Bosnia we have the lampires so vampires are creatures with a high dose of plasticity. i don’t know why that was like the worst thing anyone has ever done to the vampires. They are kinda too strong and could use a real weakness tho.  

So the lion fell in love with the lamb is kind of another joke. Also, this is the skin of a killer is sadly just in the movie.

I do have the feeling he likes the project that he sees in Bella more than the real girl,but ok. Also stop nagging her. He watches her sleep. What a creep. I don’t know why, but the fact that he’s a vampire who doesn’t have to sleep makes it kinda less creepy for me. I don’t know why.

But “if i could dream at all i would be about you,” is the kind of ultracheese i can get behind. they are both such teenagers and i kinda looooove it.

Also non of the boys were her type is such a lesbian excuse. I feel ya Bella, i feel ya. I hope you discover your gayness after the end of breaking dawn.

We meet the cullens and every single one of them has a backstory like 528 times more interesting than Edward. i need novels about them, all of them ffs. it would be so cool. but, one of my favorite oc’s Errien Lark gets like 30 lines in the whole book so i can only be as harsh on Meyer as on myself (which is to say a lot. neither of us deserve these characters, honestly)

This book would have been more interesting if Bella fell in love in any other cullen. Like, Bella and Alice, Bella and jasper (Bella and Jasper and Alice. Sorry, i’m into solving love triangles with ot3s).Bella and Rosalie, Calilise, Esme, even Emmett, who i remember  as mike of the vampires, but it’s been a decade.

300 pages in and plot is yet to happen, but it’s ok. we have the vampire baseball next.

the last part.

get your hot takes! hot takes right here

I kinda like billy. He seems like a nice guy. Also billy/charlie as my new otp.

“The beautiful one,the godlike one.” Bella, you are such a teen.

The less fucks she has about him being an all powerful ancient creature of the night who can murder her in a heartbeat, the funnier it is. She is just soo casual about it. Comedy gold, i tell ya. i mean, this is actually part of the narrative, Edward comments on it, meyer knows what she wrote.

Ed,maybe is you stopped saying she smells good, you would be better at not thinking about her as food. Mind over matter. Just a thought. Maybe i misjudged his virgin ass. Maybe ed the incel actually fell in love with her. Or at least what he thinks is love since they’ve been dating for like two days (look who’s talking?the girl who reads any sign of affection as a statement of love and then gets disappointed).

“Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle”. That’s sexist steph. Emmett, honey, you are as gracious as you want to be.

Also a big yaaaas on the whole concept of vampire baseball. we needed more of it.

Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot! Plot!

We have encountered plot. Only 320 pages in. three bad vampires came into town.

Story time: when i was in high school, all like 20 of us in out class were really, really into twilight (dudes included). we quoted it all the time but the height of comedy happened when someone brought their friend from another school to out class and someone else was like “you brought a snack” and a meme was born to be quoted endlessly for months. it was actually kinda fun. and probably very annoying for anyone who wasn’t into twilight.

Also, any development? Backstory? Motivations other than for the hell of it for out boi James and his ginger girlfriend? come on, it wouldn’t even be that hard. Also, some foreshadowing? There was like one line before. This is a legitimate criticism. it’s kinda shitty writing and a wasted opportunity.

Edward is being a dick again. I get he’s scared but her dad could die. Or maybe they’ll trun him into a vampire too (charlie/Edward? Think about it). But they all call him out on it which is nice. Bella’s plan isn’t bad, but “let me go charlie” is the straight up coldest thing i have read in a long time. it’s supposed to be, this isn’t criticism, just stating the obvious. But she showed like an inclining of love for her dad who has been nothing but nice all this time. Yeeey, she’s not a robot.

“It was the best idea. Of course it was mine” . Yaas, queen, you’re not that much of a doormat;  take that credit.

i would do something to foreshadow the ballet studio thing in the first half of the book. at least, have Bella or Charlie looking at pictures from her recital, just to intricate it to the plot a bit more.

Ok, now i remember why i was team jasper. He is so effing nice. And he would be awesome for my depression. Neira/Alice/jasper, i ship it.

i’m kinda digging the explanations of how vampires work and the whole venom thing. They are still op af and need to be nerfed, but i wanna be one.

Of course, he used the mom. She’s like the only person bella actually cares about. She falls for it. i would probably fall too, but i’m dumb.

the fact that james hunted Alice is a nice and a very much needed twist. it did catch me of guard. i would be more mad he’s a bad guy monologing, but i can only introduce stones to my own glass houses.

Bella’s now more into the idea of being a vampire than into Edward and i’m living for it. she’s going to use him for his venom and a baby and run off with rosalie.

“and how many times did she fall our of a window?” (yes, that is a Sherlock reference in the year 2018 of our lord. maybe i should do that for my next project. should i wait a few more years?)

her mom is not worried enough, honestly. my mom would be freaking out. but my mom has anxiety issues, so idk… (i couldn’t get her smooth hairless legs, or her blue eyes but i got that gene. thanks, i guess) .

“And i have a couple of girlfriends” now that’s a novel i want to read but i guess i’ll have to write the lesbian twilight myself.

“I want to be superman too”. yeeees, finally, kristen steward in the role of superman casting of the century. you would all watch it and love it, and you know it.

Charlie doesn’t deserve this shit. when will he retire with his husband billy in their cabin where they can fish all day.

“Do you want me to bolt the door so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?“ Are we sure she hasn’t been a vampire from day one?

Jacob is a sweetie (for now) just putting that out there.

Edward is kinda being unreasonable. being a vampire in your universe isn’t that bad.

Aaaaw, and that’s a wrap.

i actually kinda digged it. it’s nothing special, but i read these last 150 pages in one sitting. my main issues are writing oriented. very little foreshadowing, many filter words and things like that, but i guess if you aren’t that into writing, you might not even notice more of that.

it’s not the death of literature, it’s not the worst love story ever told. it’s just a silly and mostly harmless wish fulfillment novel.

edward can be a controlling and condescending prick but he gets called out on it very often. it’s not like meyer is completely oblivious to what she’s writing. and even tho he’s 100, i guess they are all mostly stuck mentally at the age when they were turned. or at least that’s how it seems to me. bella is kind of a bitch to everyone who’s not a vampire and she’s never called out on it, there’s a glimpse of change in the epilogue, but i don’t think meyer really considered it a character flaw. which is a shame, as it could have made for an interesting character. all the vampires have stories i would rather read about, as i said before, but what can ya do? that’s what’s fanfics are for.

i may write more of cohesive thought on it when it settles in my brain, but first, i need to watch the movie. i have a hypothesis i need to test.

but i don’t regret doing this. it was kinda fun and now i’m no longer ashamed of my twihard phrase. i could have done worse, as far as teen phases go.

Someone should like write a fanfic, but Edward is not a vampire, but a rich guy. And he’s into some hard core spanky business. And they should take all the problematic elements and just crank them up to 11. And add a looot of sex. I bet they could make millions.

Tho, honestly, how can you read twilight and not make bella the kinky dom? you fundamentally misunderstood the story. for shame

[skvaderarts]

Chapter Seventeen: Reawakening

You can check out the Masterlist Here for more links to places to read!

Sorry this was late! I’m working 100% off of a tablet now and it’s been hell!!

Chapter Seventeen: Reawakening

Notes: Wow. This had been a wild week. It’s lucky that I’m taking a two-week break after I finish this fic because my laptop decided to have issues. Again. FFS. I’m buying a Chromebook to write on after this. I use Google Docs anyway. I’m so done with this. I don’t care if they are not very powerful, I need something simple! But that’s not your issue. I don’t care if I have to finish this on my TABLET I am going to get through this. I just wanted to make everyone aware. This BS changes nothing. Now onto the story!

-~-

At this point, anything that crossed Vergil’s path was basically guaranteed a swift and painful death. They had taken no time at all to reach the castle, his brisk pace practically unrelenting, even from the moment they had stepped foot out of Nero’s house. Although it had been a while since any of them had been here, no one needed directions. Vergil knew that as long as he lived, the layout of this city (at least as it had been at the time of his original trip two decades ago) would be etched into the forefront of his mind. It wasn’t that he had spent any significant time here… it was who he had met. What few “pleasant” things he had experienced during his youth had recently returned to the forefront of his mind under the guise of trying to recall less complicated times in his life, and this was on the top end of that list. As they continued along their way, he took a moment to consider the fact that visiting this wretched place was somehow one of the highlights of his youth. 

Dreadful.

He needed to take a trip at some point for the sake of simply seeing something. Perhaps his troublemaking hellspawn could come along if they… no. His brow furrowed slightly as his mind wandered to darker outcomes. The possibilities as to ways they could meet their untimely ends here were staggering, but he refused to entertain any of them. Had he ruined a great many things during his youth? Of course. Was he to blame for countless mistakes. Absolutely. But this was not going to be one of them. And there would be hell to pay if anyone thought otherwise.

The moment they dropped down into Fortuna Castle’s ice field, a loud cracking, shimmering sound reminiscent of icicles creaking in the wind could be heard approaching from the foreground. Dante laughed to himself, drawing his blade from his back. Vergil placed his hand on his blade, entertaining the possibility of simply dispatching these demonic pests with his summoned swords alone. Nothing out here was worth his time as a general rule, but right now their mere existence was insulting to him. These useless creatures were not challenging enough to even consider obstacles, only serving as a stopgap in his route to more pressing matters.

“Well, I haven’t seen these things in a while,” Dante said as a group of frost approached from a distance, flanked by just shy of a dozen hell hounds.

Although Vergil concurred with his brother’s statement, he didn’t bother vocalizing. He simply nodded, drawing his blade as one of the frosts leaped towards him. He reached over his head and slashed downward, cleaving the hapless creature in two with one swift swing of the blade. Its brethren seemed to learn nothing from their fallen compatriot’s example, as two more rushed forward to attack them. Dante held his blade behind himself, watching as the blade glowed before slashing forward, sending a concentrated beam of red energy rocketing forward towards the demon. It annihilated the surprised creature, it’s partner jumping to the side to dodge the strike, Dante easily sidestepped it, drawing his shotgun and delivering a charged round to the creature’s face in retaliation before it had a chance to strike him. It tumbled uselessly through the snow as he rushed forward, uppercutting it into the air with his flaming gauntlets before drawing his blade again and slamming it down into the ground with devastating force. The youngest of Sparda’s twin sons would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he found this exhilarating. Then again, there was always a thrill to be found in a good fight. While this didn’t quite constitute as a “good fight” it was a decent warmup at the very least and he would be remiss to not become slightly excited by the opportunity to fight a species of demon he didn’t often encounter.

The hellhounds descended upon the group as the Frosts jumped back behind them, stalking the edges of the area waiting for an ideal moment for an ambush attack. The three of them sidestepped the creatures easily, making short work of them. Magnolia rushed forward and used her barrier spell to parry a blast from one of the hellhounds, knocking it back into the creature’s vulnerable body and destroying it upon impact. She rushed forward through them, her sights set on the entrance to the castle that loomed over the long metal bridge in front of her. This was not her first fight with Vergil, and any of them were capable of taking this particular group of demons in a fight easily, so she decided to redirect her efforts towards something that could benefit from her attention. While the twins would be just fine, she could guarantee the same thing for Nero and V. Their current condition was unknown, and she sought to fix that as soon as she possibly could.

“I think it’d be best if I went inside and looked for them,” Magnolia shouted over her shoulder as she sidestepped a hound on her way,” I’ll keep them safe! You have my word!”

Vergil nodded, offhandedly cleaving another two Frosts in half with his blade. While somewhat formidable in large groups, these lesser demons possessed little in the way of an actual threat and he was unconcerned with thim. That being said, he could make the time to take some of his pent up frustration out on them. Demons of this caliber tended to stalk their prey into different areas, and he didn’t need to be flanked from behind while dealing with a more potent threat. Allowing Magnolia to go ahead of them was a good idea, even if he didn’t feel entirely comfortable sending her in alone. There was no sure fire way of knowing all the risks and nothing about this situation was ideal.

Although Dante didn’t know her, he and his twin both shared the same confidence in her statement. But he also agreed that there was also no way of knowing what she could be going up against inside the walls of the castle. It was best that they get back to her as soon as they could. They both turned their attention back to the demons at hand. As she entered the front door, there was suddenly even more of a sense of urgency than there had been before. The potential for them to be able to fend off a threat as a group of three was much higher, but it also raised the possibility of friendly casualties. As capable as she was, Magnolia was still human, and V was basically helpless given the circumstances. Capable as he may be, Nero could only do so much at once, especially by himself while guarding another person. 

The twins needed to hurry.

The moment that Magnolia stepped into the castle and closed the door, another large wave of Hellhounds and Frosts rushed forward, launching an all out attack against them. The hapless hounds seemed to become increasingly frustrated every time either Dante or Vergil expertly side stepped them, charging forward only to meet their inevitable fate at the end of a smoldering shotgun round or the cold steel of a devilarm. The pair dodged and weaved through their attacks effortlessly, unfazed by the large numbers they were going up against. Their recent stint in the underworld (in relative terms, at least) and the lifetime of battles they had fought had more than prepared them for this.

For several minutes they utterly decimated their enemies, the Sons of Sparda dicing them into bite size pieces and filling them with buckshot. They stood back to back, dispatching each demon as it dared approach them. As Dante delivered a devastating uppercut to the final Frost and killed it upon impact, Vergil made quick work of the few remaining Hellhounds. He rained down a volley of Summoned Swords on the canines before cleaving the final hound in half as it made the mistake of leaping towards him. The flaming creature let out a final screech before dying and disolving into the snow. Vergil ran Yamato down the length of its scabbard before returning it to it’s sheath with a ringing click. He glanced over at Dante as his twin approached, about to suggest that they head inside the castle. But before either of them could say anything, the sound of a faint boom echoed from inside of the Castle. They both glance at one another before sprinting towards the castle door. 

Something was wrong.

-~-

Magnolia’s body ached as she slid backwards, knocking the wind out of herself as she slammed back first into a pillar. She was pouring sweat and slightly banged up from the strain that came from trying to withstand such a powerful attack. While she had managed to find V and Nero with practically no effort, the three of them were now in a much more precarious situation. In the blink of an eye, the dozen or so cultists had descended upon them, half of them unleashing their summons in a savage attack that was exceedingly difficult to combat. The only saving grace was that each of them seemed to only possess a single familiar, and while slightly more adept than the men she had fought at the docks, they were clearly amateurs playing with powers they couldn’t hope to understand. At most, they were pulling an entity from the underworld to fight on their behalf, but the demons owed their summoners no loyalty. No contract had been established. It was an act of desperation and everyone was a target.

Gasping for breath, she reached into the inside of her coat and pulled out a compressed metal tube, pressing a button on it to cause it to extend. As she spun the rod in her hands to become reacquainted with its center of balance, she stole a glance at Nero. He was busy trying to keep a small cluster of Sargasso and one very irate Nobody from reaching V, and he was doing relatively well considering the circumstances. This cult seemed to have a preference for Malet Island demons, and she found that curious. But at the same time, she couldn’t help but wonder what had transpired to lead to this moment. Everything about this just felt wrong and she needed answers once this was all over and done with.

One of the cultists approached her and she swung the rod, catching them square in the side of the jaw. They toppled to the floor, rendered thoroughly unconscious by the sudden strike. Magnolia smirked. The quickest way to deal with a summoned demon was to disable their summoner, as they could only manifest when their master was awake and able to give directions. She watched as Nero slammed downward into the Nobody, nearly cleaving it in two. V stumbled backward, dodging the monstrocitie’s attempt to take them with it as it died by detonating one of it’s own eyes. Nero then stepped forward and kicked one of the pews as hard as he could, sending it rocketing into a few of the remaining cultists. Magnolia closed the distance between them, using her free hand to blast the adjacent row (well, what was left of a row) of pews into the same cultists before knocking another upside the head and sending them crashing to the floor.

V took the moment of relative calm to rendezvous with Magnolia, more than a little aware that his presence was complicating things further and that perhaps the best place he could be at the moment was at the top of the stairs where he had a vantage point to see from. Magnolia and Nero flanked him from opposite ends of the room as he slipped along the bottom of the stairs, unable to effectively run due to his general lack of balance and his injured side. He felt thoroughly useless and he despised it, swearing to himself that he would find some way of being useful. Just as his foot touched the top stair, the pile of kicked over pews plasted into several directions, ricocheting off of the pillars and walls causing wooden shrapnel to fly in every direction. The trio ducked to avoid the large peices of flying wood, Nero not being quite as lucky. One of the larger pieces slammed into him, knocking him down as he cursed loudly from the pain.

“Are you hurt,” V asked, taking a few steps towards him, a concerned tint to his voice.

Nero clambered to his feet, hissing under his breath as he rubbed his side slightly. Nothing was broken from what he could tell, but he was sure that he’d have a nice bruise come morning. Who the hell were these crazy demon wielding bastards and what did they want with V? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. “Yea, I’m fine. What about you guys?” 

V and magnolia nodded, despite the fact that they were probably worse off at the moment than he was. At that moment, five of the cultists seemed to be regaining their senses, dragging themselves to their feet in an overeager bid to try and reignite the fight. Their leader stepped forward, brushing himself off. The dark haired man looked thoroughly pissed even though he was making an effort to try and seem calm and menacing. 

“I’m going to give you one last chance to turn him over to us,” he said sternly as he fixed his coat, eyeing V directly to add further emphasis to his point,” Our master isn’t used to taking no for an answer.”

If the man’s intention was to intimidate the longer haired man, it failed miserably. V took a step forward, edging closer to the top of the railing. He had no intention of simply giving himself over to these mysterious people. It didn’t matter if he had to take one of these standing candle holders and impale them with it. This wasn’t going to end the way these cultists wanted it to.

“Then your master is going to have to learn to deal with disappointment, because I’m not going with you,” V said flatly, clearly unamused by anything that had transpired in the last little while. Whatever this insidious cult of summoners wanted with him, he wasn’t interested in. The fact that they were so quick to resort to violence spoke volumes in that regard. Should they have been less quick to try and harm his companions, he might have humored them for a moment. As little as he enjoyed conversation, he was not opposed to listening. But he did possess a negative disposition towards having his hand forced, especially by total strangers. He wasn’t going to take this lying down.

The man didn’t respond. Instead the air became statically charged. A ominous black mist filled the room as golden sparks rolled along the surface of the walls, wrapping themselves around the pillars before dying down to a faint but still present pulse. A supernatural breeze blew through the room, clearly not originating from inside of the structure as all the doors were currently closed. V glanced around the room tenitavely in a tense search for answers. His lack of experience with this place and it’s native demons made this veil of darkness extra unsettling to him. He stole a glance in Nero’s direction as he revved his trusty blade, clearly readying himself. He placed it back onto his back and drew his gun, charging it in preparation for something that V couldn’t identify. Magnolia glanced around the room with her weapon drawn as well, seemingly just as unsure as to what was happening as V was. The cultists had drawn back into the mist to allow their leader to handle the situation, and he already seemed to be more capable than they had been.

While V anlyzed the situation, Magnolia made the fateful decision to step towards V. As she drew near, she stopped suddenly and started in total silence into the mist before gasping and grabbing him, practically throwing him out of the way. V let out a startled breath as he managed to catch him on the top stair, turning his head towards her to enquire as to what on earth she had done that to him for. They had never met or spoken prior to this encounter, but he presumed that this was the mysterious Magnolia that Nero had mentioned so much about prior to their arrival.

“Why did-” V never got the chance to finish asking his question. 

In the middle of his sentence a spectral set of ten glowing violet red claws that had to be half as long as he was extended from seemingly nowhere and shattered Magnolia’s barrier and embedded themselves into either side of her body before lifting her and tossing across the room. She cried out as she tumbled across the room and crashed into the floor, coming to a stop just a few feet from Nero. She slammed into one of the few remaining pews and took several pained breaths before closing her eyes and going totally limp, her breathing turning shallow as she passed into a semi conscious state. 

Nero glanced as he leaned over to give her a gentle but anxious shake as he fired a charged round into the intangible demon’s back. Those claws belonged to a Faust, one of the last demons he expected to see here today. The large hovering demon materialized and screeched, hurling itself at him. He managed to side step at and fired several more rounds into the creature as it began to lower it’s self closer to the ground. Once it was vulnerable, he removed Red Queen from her holster and charged at it, slamming into it with a volley of flames and scalding steel. It regained its stability and launched itself into the air before disappearing entirely. Just as suddenly as it had arrived, the smoke began to dissipate. But the calm eas short lived

V had scrambled to his feet during the excitement, eager to find cover or something he could use to defend himself. The electricity that had accompanied the now dissipating smoke reappeared, this time with a ferocity and strength that it had not possessed before. V withdrew his hand from the rail and stepped towards the middle of the top of the stairs in an attempt to put some distance between himself and the high voltage. A thick streak of vibrant electrical energy darted from the corner of the room nearest to the gallery door and zigzagged from side to side, going back and forth between each of the banisters. He tried to follow it with his eyes, but couldn’t quite make out the source until it fully materialized. In the blink of an eye (or perhaps faster) a large electricity coated demon leaped at him, claws at bared and ready to strike. V barely managed to leap out of the creature’s path, but it did him very little good. The entity landed feet first against the wall and immediately redirected itself towards him, managing to take him off guard as he was attempting to regain his balance from his sudden dodge. The last thing he remembered seeing was the sight of the Blitz clocking itself in a layer of electricity before it catapulted itself into him with bone shattering force. He careened down the steps, slamming into each step as the breath left his body and he rolled to a stop against the cold stone floor. He had been unconscious long before he had made his landing.

When he opened his eyes, everything was black again. V was silent for a moment, somewhere between alarm and disbelief. He was in this dreadful place again?! There was no time for this. He moved around more frantically this time than in his prior visit, grasping for any way to make his exit but failing immediately. A hybridized version of a growl and a huff escaped his lips as he covered his hands with his face, shaking his head in frustration and anxiety. He had no idea how time passed in this place, but he knew he had already spent too much of it here.

“If you have no intention of helping me, then release me. There are pressing matters that I must attend to,” The irritation and desperation in his voice were as clear as this place was dark and hopeless.

Black tendrils erupted from the ground and wrapped themselves around his torso and arms individually, not so much holding him captive as they were holding him still. The grip was firm but not constricting, familiar to him in a way he couldn’t quite place but that bothered him from lack of recognition. The skin on his body began to tingle in a manner that was reminiscent to how he had felt when he had awakened in his bedroom this morning. Surely enough, when he glanced down the markings from his former familiars were glowing as they had that morning, aside from Nightmare’s. He obviously couldn’t see his own back, but he couldn’t feel the same sensations that he felt on his torso, chest, neck, and extremities. He closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly, thinking.

When he had first met his familiars, he had agreed to form a contract with them out of a lack of other options but had grown to enjoy their presence after a while. They had fought valiantly in their attempts to protect him, but in the end they had all been victims of circumstance; unwilling yet unwavering participants in a game far more profound than their own lives. And as he stood there encased in what had to be darkness itself, he felt understood and accepted in a way he couldn’t place words to. A wave of nostalgia and penetrating loneliness hit him as he exhaled slowly. He didn’t know how he knew, but this place was linked to his former demonic pets, and he was ready to admit that he needed them right now. Perhaps asking would facilitate the response that he was hoping for?

V sighed and adjusted his posture as much as he possibly could before looking up. Or what he assumed to be “up”. He honestly couldn’t tell and didn’t care. It was worth a shot, wasn’t it? It couldn’t hurt to try. 

“I can only assume that this,” V gestured by tugging at the tendrils,” Is your doing. We’ve met before. I think that’s why I keep ending up here, isn’t it? Because you want to help me.”

The air became statically charged as if in response to his question. V nodded. He felt like he might be getting somewhere. Possibly. The tendrils loosened slightly, but he didn’t move. He remembered that he had to consent to the contract with Griffon before. Maybe they needed his permission? He found it ironic that there was a guidebook to this sort of thing in his back pocket but he couldn’t read it. It would prove invaluable in this situation. V sighed, at his limit for being here. There was no time for this. He hadn’t come all this way just to perish senselessly a second time.

“... I need your help. Again. If this is truly you, then I don’t think I need to elaborate. I have a talent for landing myself in troublesome situations, but this is different. I don’t know if I’ll survive this fight without you.” 

He closed his eyes and hung his head solemnly. “... Please help me. I desperately need you.”

V jumped slightly as he felt the sensation of something akin to hot water run down the upper half of his body. It drenched him but he remained totally dry, aside from the places where the glowing marks on his body had been. The black substance clung to them, filling in like some sort of a stencil being filled in with the darkest shade of graphite imagenable. The tendrils dissolved and converted themselves into the last of the liquid before everything grew dark. He stood there breathing heavily as the result of the sudden wave of weakness that had overcome him, the burden of his former power taking a momentary toll that he hadn’t anticipated. With every monocrom of the power that returned to him, he felt more hazy, but he wouldn’t allow that to stop him.

He collected himself and closed his eyes to take in a much needed moment of silence. He was ready to leave this place. And there would be hell to pay for those who had forced his hand yet again. As soon as he figured out a way to leave this place, this cult was going to regret the day they had made the decision to attack a descendant of the Dark Knight Sparda.

-~-

Vergil had precisely no idea how things had escalated to this degree, but he wasn't pleased in the slightest by what he saw before him. In fact, he wasn’t entirely sure what he felt in this moment. Snow blew in from behind him as he stood in the open doorway to Fortuna Castle, but even literal ice was warmer than the chill he felt trickle down his spine as he took in the predicament that he and his twin brother had just walked themselves into. The eldest Son of Sparda could almost literally feel parts of his body freeze solid as he took in the chaos that unfolded before him. He hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped the moment he’d seen V lying prone on the floor a few dozen yards away, clocked in the remainder of some sort of smoke that he didn’t see the source of. Dante had immediately jumped into the frey, providing Nero the backup that he sorely needed against the dozen or so different demons he was somehow holding his own against. 

Even with the dissipating mist in the air making things difficult to see clearly, he could tell that V was in a bad way. He made his way across the room, not really registering any of his surroundings aside from the hapless summoner that made the mistake of trying to attack him. He drew Yamato and dispatched them quicker than they could even regester what had happened to them, and then returned his focus to what actually mattered to him in this moment. The wantin and merciless bloodshed would have been met with a less than positive response, (or at least a raised eyebrow or two) but no one noticed due to the litany of opponents that they were up against. 

The second he reached V’s unconscious body, he knelt down at his side to assess his condition. He paused for a moment, his hand lingering over V’s body. Vergil found himself trapped between the overwhelming desire to know if his son was alive and the criping, all consuming worry that came from the knowledge that he very well might not be. The fact that he knew that at least one of his children was alive should’ve provided him a grim respite, but he found himself overcome by a level of anxiety he hadn’t felt in an immeasurably long time. This was a source of concern that he’d never experienced before; the concept of his inability to protect his own children resulting in their death something that he’d never given lingering thought to. It was forengn to him and utterly devastating in it’s scope. He clenched his teeth subconsciously before developing the resolve necessary to force himself to check on his son’s well being.

Vergil leaned over him and hesitantly rested the back of his hand against V’s exposed throat. The knot in his stomach loosened considerably when he realized that despite the fact he couldn’t feel his oldest son’s pulse, he noticed that he was breathing when his breath ghosted across the sleeve of his coat. While that didn’t account for his actual physical well being, he knew that he was alive at the very least, and that was reassuring to him. As he retracted his hand, he was taken by surprise by V as he coughed harshly and lurched forward, gasping harshly for breath as though he had just been plunged into freezing waters.

V rubbed his face with his hands as his breath evened out before turning to look in Vergil’s direction. Despite the fact that his eyes were closed, he could feel the presence of another person near him. When he saw Vergil he froze in place, unsure of how to react to his presence. The very last thing he expected to see was his estranged father. This day was full of surprises, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to take the vast majority of them. V closed his eyes for a moment before sighing and deciding that he would have to sort this situation out at a later date. This was not the time or the place to have any sort of discussion. He glanced over at the battle that was occurring on the other side of the room. Nero and Dante had the situation more than under control. The cult leader seemed to be edging towards the door, more than likely preparing to make a break for it since it was apparent that his compatriots were now fighting a losing battle.

He had just found his target.

There was no way that he was allowing this deranged maniac to escape.

As he clambered to his feet, he was reminded of his less than ideal state. His head throbbed, there was an unpleasant soreness in his chest, the cut on his side felt more raw and torn than ever, and he could practically feel the imprint of the stone stairs in his back from when he had tumbled down them a few minutes ago, but he was still alive and he could suppress his discomfort until his work was finished. This wouldn’t be the first time he had forced himself to swallow his pain and work against his well being in order to complete a task. Not by a long shot. 

V tugged his sleeve down and sure enough, his tattoos had returned. In an action that was practically second nature by now, he expanded his consciousness and called forth his familiars. With an ear shattering roar, Shadow materialized from the floor, ready to do her master’s bidding. She paced the room eagerly as Griffon surged forward, depriving V of the remainder of his tattoos and he fluttered around the room laughing wildly. He landed on V’s shoulder a moment later, fluffing himself.

“Well, if it isn’t Shakespear! It’s about time! And just when I was about to start taking bets on how long it was going to take you to figure out how the Nightmare dimension worked. Guess I owe Nightmare a drink,” Griffon was clearly thrilled to death with himself. He wasn’t making the slightest effort to hide that. “So, who’s the unlucky schmuck who’s getting an ass full of lighting today?!”

V repressed the urge to roll his eyes, shaking his head as he chortled at the statement. He was likely never going to admit it, but he’d missed this mouthy bird. It was a welcome change to have him back. He smirked and rolled his hand playfully in the direction of the cult leader. “That guy.”

Griffon twirled off of his shoulder and launched up into the air, discharging a sphere of lighting as he leveled out. “Consider it done, beanpole,” Griffon said sarcastically as he took off towards the individual V had pointed out,” Come on Shirly, we have work to do!”

Shadow snarled and chased after Griffon as he flew off to assess their target. V stole a quick glance at Vergil that quickly converted itself into a lingering stare. He had an unreadable look in his that indicated that he wasn’t thrilled to see his familiars again, but he sighed and unsheathed Yamato nonetheless. He glanced over at V and nodded as to excuse him before turning his attention towards the cultist. They were in for a world of hurt now that his concern had subsided and been replaced by seething rage. Vergil felt a powerful need to stab something right now, and he had plenty of targets to choose from. V watched him surge forward and impale one of the cultists before turning his attention back towards his familiars. They had several unpleasant and uncomfortable conversations ahead of them. It was inevitable. But right now they needed to fight. And V was eager to see how a battle against another summoner would turn out. With Dante, Vergil, and Nero handling the remaining cultists and their summons, he had plenty of time to focus on their leader. They each had their own battles to fight.

V glanced down at the ground and found a piece of a broken standing candelabra, opting to bring it with him. There was no harm in having a physical weapon with him, even if it was just a two foot long segment of a brass rod. He wanted answers and he was going to get them, one way or another.

-~-

GAH!! I’m sorry that this chapter is several hours late! Due to the pandemic, I can’t fix my pc at the moment, so I spent a while fighting with Google Docs today. I then sat here all day and had to type this entire chapter (which was 5,800+ words!) ON MY TABLET. It was a nightmare, but I got it done and I’m starting the next chapter sharpish. A lot happened in this chapter, and I can’t wait for you guys to get to read the battle in the next entry on Friday! Thanks a ton for your ongoing support! I’m going to get this pc situation sorted out ASAP for all our sakes. I look forward to reading your comments and I loved the ones last week! Sorry for any errors that slipped through. It’s tricky to edit and type on a touch screen device. Have a wonderful day and stay safe out there! See you soon!

[simonxriley]

I love you and I’m sorry.

Pairing: Alexsandr “Tachanka” Seneviev x Skylar “Phoenix” Jackson (oc)

Summary: Tachanka fell in love, only to have it ripped away from him in a blink of an eye. 

Words: 1,945

Warnings: Implied/reference suicide and mention of blood. 

A/N: I woke up this morning and I needed to write this, don’t know why I just needed too. Because I apparently love ripping my whole heart out. 

Ao3 and FF  

Russian: Moya Sladost’ = My sweetness. Kotyonok = kitten

Everyone who was apart of the Outbreak never came back the same, everyone had some form of PTSD even if they hated to admit it. But Jager and Tachanka came out of it the worst.

Jager was injured and alone in the dark after having his helicopter taken down, waiting for whatever loomed in the darkness to attack. And how those seconds felt like years waiting for his rescue, hoping they could get to him first instead of those monsters.

Tachanka lost the love of his life there. Everyone made it out besides Skylar. His kotyonok!

He can still see her smiling face after rendezvousing with them after getting separated, how happy and relieved she was to see them. And how that smile quickly turned to fear when a rooter teleported right behind her, piecing her abdomen. Doc did all he could, unfortunately she succumbed to her wounds, leaving Tachanka angry and broken in the middle of the battlefield as he held and rocked her colding corpse.

It was only six months ago, to him it felt like a lifetime. The home he shared with her used to be filled with laughter and love, now it felt empty.

As he sat at the kitchen table, pouring himself another shot of vodka his eyes kept darting to the small purple journal Skylar always kept with her. He carried it everywhere with him because it made it feel like she was still with him. He never opened it though, feeling it would be a breach in privacy, even if she was gone. Deep down he knew she wouldn’t care, she never did before, she was always open with sharing her things with him.

He sighed through his nose, downing the shot of vodka and poured himself another one.

This kitchen housed so many good memories, him cooking her breakfast every morning and every time she would argue and say she could do it herself. And every time he would just laugh and go back to cooking. Them cooking dinner together every night while listening to one of her playlists, her singing and dancing around the kitchen making him laugh every single time.

The one thing he missed the most was watching her bake. Turning the kitchen into a mess with flour and different ingredients everywhere. He would always sit at the table, giving her space as she went to work with whatever she was baking that night. He can still picture her chestnut brown hair up in a bun, flour on her face as she read the recipe off her phone. Occasionally looking over at him with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. And even sometimes he would walk over and steal a kiss or two, tasting what she was baking. Those were simpler times, the times he would sell his soul to get back. To get her back.

Now his days were filled with taking his frustration out on still targets and working on his LMG. His nights however were filled with drinking and crying himself to sleep, reaching out to the spot next to him, where she used to lay.

After another shot he slammed the shot glass down and grabbed the purple journal. He couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to read and see what was inside.

With shaky hands he opened it, having a picture fall out into his lap. When he went to pick it up, he noticed it was of them, snuggled up on the couch in the rec room on base. Glaz was the one that had taken it, then sent it to them that night. Skylar later had it printed out.

He flipped through her journal, seeing the sketches she did while bored and finding another few pictures in the middle of it. Most of them were of them, a few of him and either Fuze, Kapkan or Glaz and a few of Skylar and Ash.

Taking a deep breath he felt the tears well in his eyes, blinking them away for the most part. He set the pictures aside and continued looking. Most of the journal were of her sketches until towards the end, where she actually wrote a few things down.

“Well I didn’t fuck up this mission, THANK GOD. I don’t know why Six picked me to defend a hostage until evac arrives, that’s not my expertise to sit and wait and barricade. I’m a roamer, anyways I was just happy with the operators she chose for said mission. But the real person I need to thank is Tachanka, he saved my life by pulling me out of the line of fire. Definitely need to buy him a whole case of vodka, though I don’t think that’ll fully pay off that debt.”

He softly chuckled, knowing exactly what mission she was talking about. Everything went fine, they were killing each terrorist with ease until one breached a wall near where Skylar was, stunning her. If he didn’t grab her back the back of her uniform and yanked her across the bed she would’ve been killed and he couldn’t have that.

She did thank him a day later, and that night changed their relationship for good. The morning after, she was officially his.

He continued down to the bottom paragraph, a small smile spreading across his face.

“I have never met someone more loving and caring than Alex, he treats me like a queen. He’s completely different than how I imagined him as a boyfriend, and I couldn’t be happier. Truthfully I think I love him and I know he loves me, even if he hasn’t admitted it yet.”

He turned the page to see it blank, then a piece of paper pricked his hand. He grabbed the corner of the paper, slowly pulling it out of the journal. As soon as he saw what it was his heart sank even more and he quickly opened to the page where the photo was.

He held it tightly in his shaking hands, the tears welling back in his eyes, blurring his vision. “Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t she tell me she was pregnant?”

Wiping his eyes he went to look at the page, seeing a few things written down.

“I’m pregnant, PREGNANT! Doc confirmed it an hour ago and I’m at a loss for words. I can’t wait until Alex gets back from his mission so I can tell him he’s going to be a papa. He’s going to be so happy, as am I. I can’t believe I’m really going to be a mom.”

He continued reading….

“As soon a he comes back home, Six is calling both of us for a new mission. Apparently there’s an Outbreak in Truth Or Consequence, New Mexico. Ash asked specifically for both of us. I guess telling him will have to wait.”

He glanced back down at the ultrasound picture, tears sliding down his cheeks. He didn’t just lose his girlfriend that day, he lost his unborn child too. A child that would have been loved and spoiled by both parents. And she was right, he would’ve been very happy about this unplanned miracle. Now his heart broke even more than he thought was plausible.

He set the photo down on the table flipping through the rest of the pages, all were empty but one. There was a sketch of him sitting at Ash’s briefing with his feet up on the table and him on his phone and a folded up piece of paper. He softly smiled, grabbing the piece of paper, and letting the journal close on it’s own. 

Leaning back in his chair he unfolded the piece of paper, noticing it was a letter for him. Dated back during the outbreak.

He took a deep breath and started to read it.

“Alex, moya sladost’! This is the last thing I want to be writing, a goodbye note but after what I saw in that hell, I’m not so sure all of us will make it back and I wouldn’t forgive myself for not saying goodbye.

You have made me the happiest woman in the world, there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t feel grateful that you’re mine. I wake up and go to bed filled with so much love that I feel like I’m going to explode and it’s all because of you! Yeah we still have our bad days, like every other couple where it feels like this is the end. Only to have our love rekindle in full force. And we still always had our very good days, filled with lots of laughter...and kissing. The nights I would fall asleep in your arms and still wake up there in the morning.

I used to be so afraid of falling in love because every time I did I would get hurt. But with you, it came as easy as breathing, I don’t have to hide my true self from you because I know you’ll love me either way. As I love you!

I hope we both make it out of here and raise the child I’m now carrying. The child I want to tell you about so badly. But we need to keep our heads in this fucked up game and if I told you I know what you would do and right now I need a live boyfriend, not a dead hero. And our child needs a live father.

I can’t wait to see you as a papa, rocking our child to sleep while you hum an old Russian lullaby to him or her. Playing with our child, teaching them right from wrong and all the stories they’ll be told from your Red Army days. This child is going to be so grateful to call you their papa.

As I sit here writing this in our tent, you snoring softly beside me I can’t help but wonder what the universe has in store for me, for us. In a way I think that’s the beauty of being alive, we don’t know what our lives will bring. There is one thing I know for sure, is that I love you, more than anything in this world.

If I don’t make it back, I just want you to know that everyday I spent with you was the best day of my life! I love you Alex, don’t ever forget that! And I’ll be watching over you.”

He set the letter down, tears streaming down his face. He grabbed the vodka bottle in a tight grip, chucking it at the cabinets. Glass and the clear liquid now covering a part of the kitchen floor. He couldn’t deal with the pain much longer, everyday was hell and he just wanted his kotyonok back.

So he stood up, picking up the journal and the photo’s and headed up to the room he and Skylar used to share.

Glaz found him a week later, after not hearing from him and he became worried. As he looked down at his lifeless corpse, blood splattered on the white covers and headboard, he noticed a letter in his hand. Carefully pulling it free from his grasp, Glaz opened it and read it, when he flipped it over there was one more sentence, reading.

“I love you and I’m sorry.”

With tear-filled eyes he looked back at his body, noticing the ultrasound photo close by. He turned away, grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket. When he got to the door he turned back to look at his friend one last time. “I hope you’re with your family now Alex. I hope you’re at peace.”

[finefeatheredfriend]

The Bodysnatchers!

This time on Eileen reads the EDAs we’ve got a thrilling and gorey adventure with Eight and Sam and some Zygons, brought to me by my laptop’s text to speech function cause I’m too distracted to focus on actual reading lol

I liked this book! It was a bit slow at first and it took me longer to really love the book than it did with Vampire Science, but the Victorian setting and some really brilliant lines won me over in the end haha! And we had Litefoot in this! And the Zygons (and some nice ones as well, what??), which for some reason I didn’t recognise on the cover, but I still got spoiled by myself because of my brilliant idea to use text to speech. 

I was rooting for something to happen between Sam and Emmeline, but alas. There are some parts that I will interpret that way though, even though they were definitely not intended that way lol. 

Still no naked Eight, so that’s a big minus.

I’m going to write down my reactions to all the EDAs in this series of reviews, and here are some of the highlights and my favourite quotes:

‘splendid, we’re where we’re supposed to be. I'm getting the hang of this.’ Doctor stop ahahsgahga

‘Leela is married, with children I believe’ I’m sorry what

what is it with me and shipping Sam with any woman she comes across hahah

(please let something happen between emmeline and sam)

'That didn't do much for your image, did it?' said a voice behind her, as though stealing her thoughts. Sam pushed herself up on to her elbows and looked round. The Doctor was just a few feet below her, leaning back against the wall with his hands behind his head, looking so relaxed she wanted to hit him. 'I missed my footing,' she said huffily. 'Several times,' said the Doctor, nodding.” Oh my god Doctor I love you ahahahahah

“Sam opened her mouth to protest, but the Doctor effectively plugged it with a jelly baby which he produced out of nowhere” that is such a Doctor thing to do ashafsgsfs

it’s so weird that the normal zygons are so soft (they have voices like songbirds????)

“bigger and nastier people than you have tried to suck my brains out before with no success whatsoever - well, not much anyway.” ... am I. am I really going to say it. am I really. ok no I won’t but seriously eileen get your mind out of the gutter ffs

I love how the doctor went ‘eeny meeny miny mo. hm. which one of these do i like the most? eeny!’ I love him

“That was a very uncool piece of headgear,' she said weakly. 'Not my style at all.' 'Oh, I don't know. I've got some rather fetching photographs. I thought we could blow them up and have them printed as T-shirts.” doCTOR (this is the kind of brother/sister dynamic that I love about these two)

Sam pretending not to know it’s a Zygon impersonating her just to say ‘who’s that gorgeous person?’ aaaah i love her

‘Is my nose really that big?’ ‘Only in certain lights’ DOCTOR NO

I was promised lots of naked eight in the EDAs and so far they have NOT delivered

AAAAAAAH SAM NOTICED EMMELINE’S BREASTS

‘Confusing emotions’ ‘jealousy’ aaaaah Sam I love you please be gay

“'That's assuming that the elastic band hasn't snapped of course.' 'Elastic band!' He grinned. 'I'm joking. It was one of those really thick ones. There's no way it would break.” I’m screaming I can’t stop laughing

‘My motto is never to get too attached to thing’ ‘does that include people’ oooooh (in clueless voice) that was way harsh Sam

‘nimble as a ballerina’ oh my god I love Eight and thank you for this hilarious image in my head omg

As usual (I’ve only done one of these before but still lol) this section is way longer than I expected haha!

And also as usual, you’ll find the unabridged version of my liveblog under the cut! (It’s technically just for me to be able to go back to so I can see how I reacted to reading this for the first time, but read it if you want to!)

I bolded my favourite quotes and reactions again! Enjoy ahaha

this one’s a bit slower

I mean in the way that I don’t absolutely love it from the first page on like I did with Vampire Science

but I love the Victorian era vibe it’s giving off

I can’t wait for Eight and Sam to show up though

oh that’s so the doctor - accidentally setting a book on fire ahahah

oh no it was an original printing of Sherlock Holmes aaaaa

oh I love it when companions get to dress up for trips

name dropping the BBC ahaha

AAAAH she’s in Nyssa’s room!!! I was wondering whose room it was when they mentioned that in Vampire Science! and obviously if it was Nyssa’s room then it’s also Tegan’s old room since they shared

I love Eight and Sam so much

“’How do you want to look?' asked the Doctor. 'I dunno. Cool. Confident.' 'You definitely look cool,' said the Doctor. 'In fact, you'll be one of the coolest people around.The 1890s equivalent of a... a Spice Girl.' 'I think I'd better take that as a compliment,’ said Sam carefully. 'Otherwise I might end up giving you a slap.’” omg

‘splendid, we’re where we’re supposed to be. I'm getting the hang of this.’ Doctor stop ahahsgahga

“'No, this is Earth all right. Smell that air.' Sam did so, almost choking on the sulphurous fog. 'Only London smells like this,' said the Doctor cheerfully. 'It has a certain... ethos. A certain bouquet.’” have I mentioned how much I love Eight

when Sam falls onto the Doctor and he hits his head and he goes 'what pretty fireworks, are they yours?” oh my god doctor I love you

Aaaaaah jago and litefoot!!!!!!

oh well or just litefoot but still!!!

‘Leela is married, with children I believe’ I’m sorry what

touch telepaths. time lords are touch telepaths. how did he get that information about the constable’s wife

first a house keeper called mrs hudson and now a revolting man called mr stoker looking hungrily at emmeline i see what you’re doing here

“Sam did as instructed (put her foot in the noose of the rope), and felt herself being hauled upwards at an alarming speed. It was as if there was not just the Doctor, but a ten-man tug-of-war team heaving on the other end.” wow the Doctor is STRONG

oh no it’s emmeline’s mum sitting in that armchair but she’s gonna be dead isn’t she

but the way emmeline describes the figure sitting there it sounds more like a man somehow

oh ok I was right it’s her dead mum

please don’t die please don’t die please don’t die I like you emmeline pleeeaase don’t die

why is Sam so jealous of emmeline :(

ok good, Sam likes her now and feels bad about thinking awful things about her that makes me happy

“’Great,' said Sam sardonically. 'I've always wanted to wallow knee-deep through -' 'Shh,' said the Doctor, holding a finger to his lips.” Oh my god anahahahahha (this reminds me of all the times they did this exact same thing with Lucie lol)

what is it with me and shipping Sam with any woman she comes across hahah

(please let something happen between emmeline and sam)

“She would rather die of curiosity than betray her ignorance and inexperience in front of Emmeline and the professor.” oh I love Sam

“As the more petty concerns of life began to filter back into her consciousness, she found herself hoping that Litefoot and Emmeline had seen little of her graceless descent. 'That didn't do much for your image, did it?' said a voice behind her, as though stealing her thoughts. Sam pushed herself up on to her elbows and looked round. The Doctor was just a few feet below her, leaning back against the wall with his hands behind his head, looking so relaxed she wanted to hit him. 'I missed my footing,' she said huffily. 'Several times,' said the Doctor, nodding.” Oh my god Doctor I love you ahahahahah

“Sam opened her mouth to protest, but the Doctor effectively plugged it with a jelly baby which he produced out of nowhere” that is such a Doctor thing to do ashafsgsfs

“Even though she bent her knees to cushion her body from the impact of landing, the unexpectedly short fall jarred her legs and caused her to lose her balance. However she managed to convert her momentum into a forward roll and sprang immediately to her feet in what she hoped looked a professional and athletic manner.” god I love how Sam always wants to look like she knows what she’s doing

BRAVE HEART TEGAN oh my heart

“The Doctor: ‘This has the effect of drawing out their fierce but latent aggressiveness and, supposedly, making them more single-minded in battle.' 'Stupid, you mean,' said Sam,'like most men.” Sam I love you. and this reminds me of that scene in the 50th where Liz 1 says something similar

can you believe zygons look like that because they’re sterilised and normally look ‘’’’dainty’’’’ and white and have smooth skin instead of suckers???

also I love how the doctor just spends soooo much time explaining every single little detail about zygons while they’re sitting not even that far away from three actual zygons they’re currently hiding from

oh no Emmeline is a zygon

I’d be more shocked if I hadn’t accidentally seen this while setting up the text to speech 

“A trap,' said the Doctor with almost child-like wonder” I love him. How many times can I say that before it gets boring to see this in my reactions (i don’t care cause I’m going to say it as often as i like so that’s gonna be a LOT)

it’s so weird that the normal zygons are so soft (they have voices like songbirds????)

“You have no choice, human. Either you each enter a cubicle or you die.' 'Hang on, that means we do have a choice,' said Sam with a cheeky bravado that she didn't really feel.” me

“bigger and nastier people than you have tried to suck my brains out before with no success whatsoever - well, not much anyway.” ... am I. am I really going to say it. am I really. ok no I won’t but seriously eileen get your mind out of the gutter ffs

“As Litefoot blundered along, he found himself thinking about the nature of the astonishing beings whose clutches he and his friends had fallen into. (...) Were they physically attracted to one another despite being genderless?” interesting your mind took you in that direction - thinking about alien sexuality..? okay

the Doctor is wearing a wet suit I repeat the doctor is wearing a wet suit someone help me

and he’s wearing goggles and flippers I can’t (it’s actually a face mask and not goggles but I don’t care I’m just going to imagine him wearing goggles)

ugh and when it said that the doctor was stripping down... I was expecting more of this scene. although I must admit that the image of the Doctor standing there in just his long johns before he puts on the wet suit was... a nice thought. (and he ‘expertly folded each item of clothing’ as if he had all the time in the world agxjagsgsg)

what the fuuuuuuck

that guy who witnessed his friend being killed by a zygon is ‘hacking away’ at a young man’s mouth because he made a joke at his expense omg

eeew now he’s got the youth’s tongue in his hand

I love how the doctor went ‘eeny meeny miny mo. hm. which one of these do i like the most? eeny!’ I love him

gaaah an Ace mention!!

double punch!! (how)

“What time is it?' she asked, her voice faint, rusty. 'Time to go,' replied the Doctor.” an icon

“That was a very uncool piece of headgear,' she said weakly. 'Not my style at all.' 'Oh, I don't know. I've got some rather fetching photographs. I thought we could blow them up and have them printed as T-shirts.” doCTOR (this is the kind of brother/sister dynamic that I love about these two)

“Suddenly Tuval registered the Doctor's attire, and the Zygon's borrowed features creased in puzzlement. 'You have changed, Doctor.' The Doctor looked momentarily alarmed. 'Not again, surely?’” anxhkavdbz

Sam pretending not to know it’s a Zygon impersonating her just to say ‘who’s that gorgeous person?’ aaaah i love her

‘Is my nose really that big?’ ‘Only in certain lights’ DOCTOR NO

‘Sam, who was blushing wildly but trying to appear cool’ I love you Sam

oh and also - the doctor’s only wearing his long johns and that’s already a nice image but

I was promised lots of naked eight in the EDAs and so far they have NOT delivered

“Magnificent,' the Doctor murmured, examining the readings once the straining of the TARDIS's ancient engines had faded. 'When it comes to the crunch, the old girl never lets me down.' He flicked a couple of switches.” the Doctor really does love the Tardis noise ahsgsggahdgs

Oh no

Oh no Doctor

it’s ok you didn’t mean to kill them all

but oh god

I am so sorry

“The Doctor left Emmeline and Nathaniel Seers to the end. He awoke Emmeline first, greeting her with the charming smile and silken voice that Sam had observed him employ often in the past to get them out of awkward situations. She knew, not without a slight sense of superiority, that this kind of treatment would have caused most of her mates at Coal Hill to go weak at the knees.” I’m screaming but also same

“The simple choice is this: work together under my guidance or PERISH” doctor, a little bit less of the dramatic (i’m kidding pls keep doing this)

aw I thought emmeline was going to step forward to go first but then her father did

AH HE SAID NO AND NOW IT WAS EMMELINE AFTER ALL I LOVE HER

Jack choked on shit (that’s a twisted reference)

AW SAM let it out it’s okay to cry and show feelings sometimes!!!!!!!

I love her

AAAAAAAH SAM NOTICED EMMELINE’S BREAST

‘Confusing emotions’ ‘jealousy’ aaaaah Sam I love you please be gay

“'That's assuming that the elastic band hasn't snapped of course.' 'Elastic band!' He grinned. 'I'm joking. It was one of those really thick ones. There's no way it would break.” I’m screaming I can’t stop laughing

“You know, I've been far more conscientious since I regenerated. I even keep my room tidy sometimes.' 'Congratulations,' said Sam drily.” AhahahHhha

HE WAS SINGING A VENUSIAN LULLABY

‘My motto is never to get too attached to thing’ ‘does that include people’ oooooh (in clueless voice) that was way harsh Sam

‘nimble as a ballerina’ oh my god I love Eight and thank you for this hilarious image in my head omg

‘That other doctor, will you meet him on your travels?’ and the Doctor shudders and says ‘I sincerely hope not, once was enough’ ahsgdga tell that to then curator from the 50th lol