#i know bc my elementary school
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Here's my Cowboy Bebop vibes playlist - music that's (imo) similar to Yoko Kanno's music for the show! Both Spotify and YouTube versions. Enjoy!
#my playlists#cowboy bebop#lotsa michael brecker#horace silver#some miles davis#sade#beck#herbie hancock#and i was really pleased to discover#a jazz dobro player#rob ickes#while making this playlist#grateful for my jazz education#i wouldn't have put#goodbye yesterday#on this playlist#if we hadn't played it in big band in college#also believe it or not#sade's#pearls#i know bc my elementary school#music teacher#showed it to us#pretty mature song to show 11 yr olds#mr.[p-name] was so cool#also i remember him playing#horace silver's#song for my father#(also on this playlist)#on his sax
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vee if youre enjoying cm punks gay wrestling bullshit may i introduce you to mjf
he keeps the dog collars he used in a match w cm punk in display in his house. AND HE LOST BTW
sorry. hes my favorite guy
WHOA.... WHAT THE.... ive never been a wrestling girlie but i am looking!!! wrestling with attached dog collars on is bonkers hot im literally shaking
#wrestling#all i know of wrestling is the triple h suck it bc all the boys in elementary school did that non stop LMFAO#ok wait also i used to play wwf no mercy on the n64 with my cousins that was pretty fun#vee asks
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Pine Face Jumpscare
Still got no idea where my fabric paints are, but here I am as (slightly scuffed) Kim! (Second shot mostly there to show off the belt.)
And below the cut here I'll have some other shots that kinda show the hair color a little more accurately
Second shot here had my hair combed a little differently to make it more poofy- meant to do that before taking these, but like... y'all will probably see me do this again. I originally wanted to do outdoor shots, so- next time!
Also bonus jacket I got the other day- kind of a good modern au stand-in for the normal Dia de Los Muertos party fit, right?
#i just had to fight so hard to get this formatted right. does anyone know WHY tumblr shuffles images around like a dickhead sometimes?#it's kinda ridiculous that it's been a problem for this gd long#anyhow. if i look awkward in these it's bc I don't like seeing my face very much and until this past week I hadn't owned a skirt since+#+- like- elementary school. i wore one for a chiaki cosplay that didn't leave my room a couple years back? but that's the most recent time#things I've discovered- i actually don't mind them all that much! so long as I've got tights and pockets anyhow#anyway. the grey skirt there was for the actual costume- black one was just something I snagged from spirit on closing day lol#cosplay#ooc#txt#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim vs the universe#scott pilgrim game#scott pilgrim fandom#kim pine cosplay#scott pilgrim cosplay#spto kim#scott pilgrim kim#spvtw kim#spvtwtg kim#sp comic#spvtw#spto#kim pine#i think that's good for tags? i certainly cant think up any more i might want anyway
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people pearl clutching about preteens knowing what sex is is so wild as someone who was given the talk at age 6 because i asked my mom if she bought me from target’s secret baby compartment. and literally just took it like “oh okay. gross. :(“ being more sad that it affected my fantasy of being bought from target
#‘’no one should hear a WORD about sex until high school’’ wtf are you TALKING ABOUTTTTTTTT WE GOT IT IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!#most of the kids there were 10!!#also even beyond how this obviously hurts csa victims the most: how on earth does it benefit anyone#when you say ‘’if a kid knows about sex before age ten THEYRE BEING ABUSED SO RAISE HELL OR FUCKING RUN!!!!’’#like congrats. you just made the kid feel like shit and like their trauma is disgusting and shouldnt be talked about#and this is obviously wayyyyyy way way way less of a consequence than that but it did fuck with me to see ppl act like you were a freak#if you mentioned anything about sex as a teenager. like it genuinely sent my paranoia into overdrive f#i have way more struggles in that department due to fuckheads like the catholic in the last post than i do bc of sex ed#echoed voice#anyways this is funny bc drake and i were literally talking about this earlier jsldkfjklsdf
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i think the last 5 days of my life have been a hallucination
#1. brother hospitalized with no discharge date in sight#2. wiplash of international travel -> dogsitting -> hosting guests at my house#3. at work i’ve got people pushing promotions and all these job opportunities at me#4. got a call from the lady i dogsat for apparently the amazon driver ran over my work phone that i dropped in her driveway yesterday???????#(meaning it sat outside during the rain all last night?? and it still works LMFAO)#5. best friend called in tears bc she made a mistake and is now getting run out of her rec volleyball league for it which is her whole#community#6. speaking of community fighting my ass off to keep my neighborhood elementary school from being voted to close down tomorrow?????#7. speaking of schools one of my students had a med emergency and we had to get her in an ambulance last thursday and i had to#manage the rest of the kids to keep them from freaking out and they’re still all freaked from it#LITERALLY CAN WE ALL JUST LIKE CHILL#i need to clean my house before my friend comes to stay with me tomorrow wtf#oh and 2 days after she leaves i fly home for thanksgiving 🙃 god knows what that’ll be like
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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We as a society do not deserve Ed Sheeran and I’m standing on that business.
#this man has been here for EVERY possible negative emotion I’ve ever had#I’ve been a diehard fan since I was 9 years old#I know his songs like the back of my hand#I’ve sang his songs at funerals#I’ve cried to them during breakups#I’ve sang them with my best friend in the courtyard of our middle school#I’m going through the possibly worst slow burn of my life and I’ve got his earliest album playing for comfort#bc an Ed Sheeran album feels like comfort#if I ever got the chance to meet this man I’d fall to my knees#he got me through fucking elementary school and now he’s getting me through my last year of college#i love music#ed sheeran
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u know surprisingly i don't have a very high tolerance for gore/horror i can watch zero horror movies and the scarier something is the less likely i will ever engage w it
#like through osmosis i knew what fnaf was as a kid bc my siblings were into it and it fucked me uppp#and dont even get me started on doctor who........#had a crushing fear of daleks through elementary school among other things bc of that show#like mannequins mirrors god not the mirrors i used to have a big fear of mirrors#and gore can leave me like out of commission even just reading abt it sometimes#this ofc can all be avoided if i sexualize it all enough (<-my number one coping mechanism)#thats why gore this kinktober has been workable. except like one fic i tried to read ive been good at it#trying to get to the level of being able to sexualize anything so i am no longer afraid of it and its lowkey been working#however i still cannot do horror movies. had to watch smth that i didn't know would be horror w my siblings the other night and#i was like haha! this is gonna fuck me uppppppp#and u know what. it has but to a lesser degree than i expected. perhaps there is hope for me yet
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Welp I’m distraught, I’m crushed, I’m pissed, dumbfounded. Cause I guess I’m not doing clinicals now, even though for 3 fucking years I’ve been looking forward to it and have been counting down the fucking days. Literally I guess fuck me 🥲
#idek how tf this happened bc I applied extra early and had a great recommendation#and all 6 of the internship placements I selected as my preferences were clinics#and you wanna know what the psych department offered me? what the only thing they approved for me to interview for was?#a fucking elementary school aide.#like I’m sorry? what the fuck?#I’m not doing fucking educational psych am I?#what have all my classes been? clinical related. what did I specifically fucking sign up and apply for? clinics.#like are you fucking joking? 😐#I literally have a fucking HOSPITAL JOB on my resume#and you only want me to sit in a fucking elementary school classroom#literally I’ve been so excited bc I thought I was gonna be doing diagnostic testing for my internship#bc that’s the whole reason I even signed up and did all the shit so I could get into one of those positions#or at least something else in an actual clinical setting but no.#words cannot fucking describe what I’m feeling
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can't think too hard about kyoko bc if i try to think about that photo of her from her father's office where she's small and happy and her hands are unblemished and she can't possibly imagine the ordeals she will encounter. and then that which she DID encounter which turned her from that little happy kid to her now, cold, unyielding, blackened hands and a brain that won't stop, a perseverance that just keeps pushing her and pushing her, and a heart that is so so so afraid to let anyone in at all...i think im going to kill her grandfather
#kyoko kirigiri#jin kirigiri u r also at fault bc whaddahail#whatever you do! dont think about elementary-middle-school kyoko in the care of her grandfather#encountering a body for the first time. being told this is her life. feeling her hands burn. watching people befriend her betray her die#hearing nothing from her father who loved her so for years and years and years. but knowing what he's doing right now#and knowing he is living a fulfilling life with a wholesome profession and not thinking of her. not reaching out. and she is so alone#i think its a good thing i didnt get into danganronpa in my formative years or my brain chemistry would be. decimated.#yes kyoko is a cool character. yes she is stone cold and stoic and thats part of why shes so cool#but its also doubly important that this is a tragic aspect of her bc. she used to be a normal little kid. what the hell happened
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i think part of what makes so many people just flock to dungeon meshi as well is that it's also a story involving an autistic main character, who actually IS the main character
Because many stories will have an autistic character in them and then the story is more about how all the neurotypical people AROUND the autistic character deal with the characters autism, and the autistic character ends up as a side-character in a story that's supposed to be ABOUT them.
But in dungeon meshi, Laios especially is so much the main character! And i know he's not the only one, and not the only autistic character obv, and i know the story isn't about just him alone OR his autism...
But we get Laios' perspective. On just about everything. The story is, in the roughest terms, about the party venturing into the dungeon in order to save Falin, who got eaten by the red dragon. They're on a time constraint and have no money or equipment except what they literally have on their backs. That's the story.
Another author, a worse author, probably wouldn't have made Laios the party leader. A worse author would've relegated Laios to the "weird, awkward newbie who's excited about monsters but doesn't have the slightest clue or experience with them" who's job would've been to cite fun facts about whatever monster they encounter from some book he carries around, and the main interactions between him and the party would've been them yelling at him or calling him weird, to the point where you're wondering what this characters purpose even is in the story beyond comic relief.
And I'm so glad we didn't get this.
Instead of a story that emphasizes how "weird and unlikable" this weird character is, we get Laios being the partys leader, who, yes, is weird, but also competent and knowledgable and skilled and also is still a full character, with thoughts and feelings of his own, who actually speaks his mind and interacts with others on equal footing, who defends himself when he KNOWS he isn't in the wrong.
Laios and Shuros confrontation is both shocking, and also a huge breath of fresh air.
(Also, i know that "Shuro" isn't his real name but i can't remember his real name and I can't be bothered to look it up rn)
Shuro tells Laios to learn to read the room. A worse author would've had Laios apologize to Shuro for his own incompetence, but instead of meekly accepting that accusation, Laios throws it back in Shuros own face. That Shuro should've just been direct and honest with Laios when he KNEW that Laios wasn't getting it, instead of just playing along and letting that resentment fester.
And Laios is not only shouting it out, speaking his mind, and refusing to be treated as lesser than anyone else just because he can't "read the room", but he's also portrayed as RIGHT! Shuro would've have had to put up with Laios, whom he didn't like, but whom he let believe that they were friends, if he had just TOLD Laios he didn't like him DIRECTLY.
and look, i know that there's some hints or pages or whatever you wanna call them, that Shuro is also autistic, but comes with a different background, which basically just makes him and Laios incompatible in a certain sense.
But even with all that, Shuro still had no right to fault Laios for his shortcomings, when his own shortcomings played just as much of a role in their eventual confrontation. And the difference? Shuro KNEW how he himself AND Laios felt, but Laios only knew how he himself felt. Shuro was at an advantage in their situation, and he still faulted Laios and made him out to be this villain, who was purposely trying to make Shuro miserable, when Shuro himself NEVER opened his mouth to correct Laios!
And the thing is, Shuro isn't in the wrong for not liking Laios. Shuro is in the wrong for blowing up at Laios without EVER even giving him the chance to correct his behaviour!
And Laios KNOWS this, and he REFUSES to just apologize for something that wasn't even his fault! How could he possibly have known Shuro didn't like him, when Shuro never gave him any kind of indication of that fact?
And that's just it, isn't it?
Because I know I've experienced this kind of situation, even if exact memories don't come to mind, and I know other autistic or otherwise neurodivergent people have experienced this kind of thing. Of someone whom they were just having a normal conversation with or whom they considered a friend, just randomly blowing up at them for no conceivable reason. From our perspective, the other person just randomly decided they didn't like us anymore, didn't care about us anymore and wanted to be rid of us, or decided we were suddenly just evil, and they got mad at us, yelled at us, called us names, and then just left. And we're left confused and sad and, having no other information to go off of, because none was given to us, are bound to come to the conclusion that there's something wrong with us. We're just not likeable and any kindness from other people coming our way is just them being too polite to say anything until they've decided they had enough of us and abandon us. Because they never liked us. They were just too polite to say anything until they couldn't take us anymore.
#i won't lie that specific situation feel pretty personal#not to me specifically but to the author#because I'm not sure if any “normal” (neurotypical) person ever thinks about things like this#they just think we're dumb or malicious or something and don't even consider that maybe we just don't have all the pieces#and instead of just telling us we get treated like we've either evil or like we're children with the end result being that we get yelled at#and abandoned#oh hey while writing this a memory DID come to mind#in elementary school i wanted to play with these two classmates#and the thing is that they've apparently decided to play tag with me on the playground#except they didn't tell ME#so i was left looking for them all over while they kept running away from me for reasons i had no idea of#and the only reason i figured it out is bc i actually did get to see them once and was making a beeline for them only for them to point at#me and run away the moment they saw me#and i saw them doing that since i was beelining for them#can you imagine how hurt and betrayed i felt after that?#i had no idea why they were running from me#it's been 15 years and i still don't know#so the only reason i have left for why they could've done that is as a mean prank on me#because what other reason could there have been?#i've never been mean to them as far as i knew. from my perspective there was no reason for them to dislike me#and i know that others have had similar experiences and is it really any wonder that neurodivergent people have so much trouble making frie#*friends?#dungeon meshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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i actually feel like crying. it should be illegal to drift apart from your friends
#there are these 2 girls i went to school with#one was my best friend in elementary school#and the other was my best friend for all of middle school#and in high school i started drifting apart from the middle school one#but THEY randomly got really close in like 11th grade#and they’re still best friends now and post together all the time#(i actually rarely EVER go on personal social medias but whenever i see a post from one of them i always check up on what theyve been doing)#(in like a lovingly curious way not a creepy way)#and them being friends has NOTHING to do with me like i stopped being close w both of them before they ever even became aware of each other#well it’s actually kind of ironic bc while i always loved my friend from elementary school my middle school bff kind of hated her#and in middle school i would’ve given ANYTHING for the three of us to hang out#so it’s kind of i guess bittersweet? that they’re friends now#again i haven’t been close to either of them for years and years but it’s still just strange to me that they are so close#i don’t really think i’m jealous (?) because we are very different people and i don’t know if i’d even like being friends with them anymore#but i do kind of miss them and the friendships we used to have if that makes sense#it’s more like a longing for what USED to be rather than a desire to be part of what they have now#also like i said it’s still just weird and hard to conceptualize them being such good friends now
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made this specifically for the 90s 2000s kids. don’t ask me why i grouped them like this i simply was going on vibes
#anime#poll#FUCK i made it last only one day. forgot. answer quick i guess 😭😭#AND I CLICKED THE WRONG ANSWER TOO#tumblr poll#manga#sailor moon#revolutionary girl utena#inuyasha#cowboy bebop#fullmetal alchemist#demon slayer#black butler#death note#soul eater#hetalia#ouran high school host club#naruto#dragon ball#hunter x hunter#yugioh#bleach#attack on titan#tokyo ghoul#idk if i tagged them all i tried#maybe i will remake this later bc i failed hard#anyway i was on tumblr in 2013 and these were the only things anyone talked about ever. before you question some of my additions here#cowboy bebop and bakugan are honorary mentions i feel like most people don’t Start with bebop but then again idk. it’s such a classic#i wanted to know#and bakugan everyone in elementary school had the toys for but i’m not sure how many actually watched the anime
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rip 😭
#I got like a 78 on my midterm#and I think it was because I didn't completely read the directions which is STUPID#but also?? I thought he said Alexander the Great wouldn't end up being one of the options we could to choose from to write about#but apparently it was?? and Hellenistic culture wasn't??#I know it's still on me that I didn't read the directions (I didn't think I needed to bc we had previously gone over them)#but I still feel kinda cheated#and also so confused lol I should ask him about it tomorrow#though it's going to be so embarrassing how could I have made such a stupid mistake#gotta love having a part of me that's still an elementary/middle school perfectionist who got so upset over a bad grade#*sighs* we're just not having a good week#earl crow ramblings
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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mom’s telling me about the brief time we went to church and just dropped that she actually hated the people there and because of the experience she has an aversion to christianity & I was like huh?? I thought you got baptized just in case?? & she was like no it’s because they wouldn’t stop harassing me. I met a lot of evil people in the church. I’m taking it back. & I’m like you’re un-baptizing yourself??? & she’s like yeah.
#my ramblings#I always got the impression we were there for childcare and food#and I was right apparently#but what I didn’t know was that she was actually worried about what being in the church would do to me#so I told her about the reason I didn’t connect with church was bc they were saying God Is Always Watching#& elementary school me was like ‘even when I’m in the bathroom? I don’t like that’#also apparently the people in the church would gossip about our family a lot#I told her I had beef w christianity bc I blame missionaries for importing homophobia into cn#and mom was like oh yeah thats a good point#lol
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