afterthatpatroclussy

[afterthatpatroclussy]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

post/artist

[afterthatpatroclussy]

POV: you wake up from a mouse bite induced coma

[afterthatpatroclussy]

The fun thing about picking up a cat from the street is that they know a negative amount of rules and will commit entirely new crimes

[afterthatpatroclussy]

House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

[afterthatpatroclussy]

in case you ever wanted to know what mambo number 5 sounds like with all the instruments (including the drums) replaced with bike horns 

[afterthatpatroclussy]

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

[afterthatpatroclussy]

"Inshallah he will OD soon" fucking sent me

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[afterthatpatroclussy]

it’s never that serious I swear

[afterthatpatroclussy]

the kicked puppy face house always does when he gets in trouble for medical malpractice is so fucking funny to me

you kidnapped a man to do surgery on him why do you look like that

[afterthatpatroclussy]

There is no "after the revolution." No "ideal world." I don't care how much progress we make, we will always fail someone, hurt someone, and the best thing we can do is accept that, and keep striving to make it better as we go.

And don't get me wrong, I don't say this to discourage anyone from trying to make that ideal world. Quite the opposite.

I feel like it's very naive to continue to approach these big changes we want to make in the world as if there's an "after it's all over" when we don't have to worry about it anymore.

We should always be striving to make life better, even when life seems pretty damn good.

[afterthatpatroclussy]

I should draw rouge the bat. But in what circumstance

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Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted to get hit by a car in a way that would make me a lot of money

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[afterthatpatroclussy]

you'll never be punk yr clothes are from shein and yr makeup is from tiktok

[afterthatpatroclussy]

on their clit like morse code