#i kinda completely broke my patterns with this post Tumblr posts

[skz-nerd]

231021+22 Dome Tour 2023 | Seoul Special

(bonus + credits under the cut)

1- TinyzooOO

2- luvskzuntilidie

3- Layla_are_roses

4- TinyzooOO

5- luvskzuntilidie

6- CHANCE OF CHAN

7- STAYLIVE

8- STAYLIVE

9- Rabbicatto

10- PINE

11- gor_cb

12- Rabbicatto

13- 찬이월드

14- CBccbcbcbc

15- chopcpcp

[marlenesluv]

Stress Relief. (OP)

summary: oscar has had a rough day at the track, but he comes home to his girlfriend to help him destress.

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader (dating)

warnings: smut, 18+ only, mdni!, oral (fem!receiving), fingering

note: first smut on here! kinda random but i just had a thought and wanted to make a little thing blurb. i know it's kinda short, i'll write something else soon with more plot, lol. i hope it's decent :/

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

Qualifying day was always something that you attended. Showing up with Oscar, holding hands through the paddock, talking with his engineers, but you had an unfortunate amount of work to get done. Being a personal assistant for the head of a business firm was fun, in theory.

Your phone was going off every five minutes with emails, and texts, calls, and reminders. Your laptop glued to your side, as well as your ipad, and today was the worst it had been in months.

Big projects coming up and documents had to be read over, slides gone through, speeches double- no, triple checked, and emails responded to the second they came through.

Obviously, Oscar was a little bummed that you couldn’t make it, but work was first, and he had no problem attending alone, as long as he got to see you when it was over.

And he did. Unfortunately, the circumstances sucked. You weren’t able to have the tv on the race, you were mostly on facetimes with people, and you had to be in your office. So you were unable to see how his car had completely shit out. Brakes broken and balance off, as well as a loose tire, he was out fast. Meaning he would start at the back on race day.

“Y/N?” Oscar called out, about to call you again when he saw you. You. Wearing his favorite hoodie, eating strawberries, and scrolling through the Formula 1 app for updates.

He came over to the sofa, making you look up and part your lips to talk, but no words came out. Defeated, that was the only word that came to mind when you looked at your boyfriend. And what was worse? Lando had placed p2 in qualifying, meaning his press after sucked.

“Hey…” You frowned and greeted him back, not knowing his mind right now. Upset, yes, but you didn’t know if he wanted a kiss, a hug, or-

Your mind went numb as he pulled your bowl away, as well as your phone, turning it off and placing it on the charger on the side table. Blinking up at him, he bit his bottom lip as his eyes got a little darker.

“I’m sorry, Osc. Do you want me to-“ He cut you off with a kiss before you could even finish your sentence. Gasping into the kiss, he slid his tongue in your mouth.

You grabbed his hair, pulling him closer just as he broke away and smiled at your pout.

He got down on his knees in-front of you, in-front of the couch, “It’s okay, princess. Just relax, ok?” Oscar pulled your shorts down, as you nodded, releasing a deep breath.

Slowly, he lowered his lips, softly kissing your thighs as you let out soft moans that were barely audible. His kisses traveled up, closer to your core where you needed him most.

Shallow breaths filled the room as he traced his finger over your underwear, on top of your clit. "Please, Oscar." You whined, moving your hips closer to him.

The way the sunset glow was shining on his face made you all the more needy for him. He knew this, smiling at you through hooded eyes as he pulled your underwear down with his fingers, tossing them on the floor.

"Are you going to be good for me tonight, doll?" His accent seemed more prominent when he was turned on, which just made you moan out and buck your hips.

"Are you?" He asked again, fingers tracing patterns on your inner thighs.

"Yes, please. I need you..." Your eyes welled up a bit, desperate for his touch.

"You need me? Hm, well, if you need me-" Cutting himself off, he placed a kiss to your clit.

His hands held your hips down as he continued to place sporadic kisses to your core. If you let him, he would stay down there for hours, maybe even days. You never failed to make him feel safe and happy. All he needed was you.

Your hands traveled down once more, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer. Letting out a moan on your clit, you jerked, feeling the vibrations at what seemed to be a heightened feeling.

He started to kitten lick, making you moan louder and throw your head back. Never wanting to lose eye contact, he tugged your hand that was on his hair, making your look down.

Raising his head, he spoke, "Eyes on me, beautiful, or you don't get to cum."

This gained your attention, now holding eye contact as he continued his ministrations. He boldly licked down to your hole, and back up before adding two fingers to the mix.

His fingers probed and eventually sunk in, making you moan out and clench around him. Oscar had no intention of actually fucking you tonight. All he wanted was to make you cum from his tongue and fingers, proving to himself, and you, that he was better than his p18 in qualifying. Your pleasure was above all else in his mind.

As your high was in sight, your stomach clenched, which he noticed straight away. His fingers still moved in and out at a fast pace, occasionally blowing cold air on your clit to add extra stimulation.

"Oscar- I'm gonna-" You moaned, unable to finish your sentence.

"I know, doll. It's okay, let go for me." He soothed, never letting up as his tongue went back to your clit.

When you reached your high, your hands grabbed the couch cushions and your toes curled.

Oscar helped you ride out your high, slowly licking and rubbing your calves as he pulled back. Wiping his chin with the back of his hand and sucking his fingers clean, he got up and wen to the bathroom.

Your eyes could barely stay awake as you felt a warm wash cloth on your legs and core, wiping you down and making sure you were clean. He then put a clean pair of his boxers on you and a new pair for him as well.

Oscar sat down beside you and pulled you to lay down on his chest on the couch, pulling a blanket over you two.

"Thank you, Osc. Don't you want me to-" He stopped you with a kiss, "I'm okay, tomorrow maybe. Lets just cuddle. Please."

You could tell he was exhausted from his day, so you agreed, nestling your head in his neck as he turned the television back onto your show. He kissed your head as you both drifted off to sleep.

No matter how much racing could frustrate him, he could always count on you to help him destress.

[vxnillavampir]

3 am - Leon S. Kennedy.

i don’t really know what this is? i was listening to mitski one night and i bet you all know how the rest of that goes.

warnings: angst, mentions of trauma, kind of fluff? i guess? it’s not smut that’s for sure. not proofread and with all of my stuff i just want to say my account is 18+ only mdni!!

word count: 1217 words

pairing: leon x gn!reader

(a/n) sooooo this is kinda my first writing post on this new account and I just want to say hi, if you’re new here…hi hello. I used to write for tlou on my old blog (rxllingstones)! i honestly didn’t know how to end this so it feels a bit rushed but anyways, enjoy!

You open your eyes to the dark bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, trying to mentally prepare for what the rest of the night is going to entail. Shifting your spot on the bed to face him, you find Leon lying there—already awake. His drained expression conveyed that he had been having nightmares. His body language told you that he had been lying awake for a while, and you knew that you had to do something to make him feel better. You reached out to him, your hand gently gracing his arm."Leon?" Your voice was barely above a whisper but it was enough to draw his attention towards you. His expression had already softened slightly.

"Yeah?" His voice was shaky like he was trying to hold back tears. Instinctively, you bring your hand up to his cheek to comfort him, your thumb rubbing small circles along the soft skin. "Had a nightmare?" You ask even though you already know the answer. He nodded sheepishly before sitting up on the bed. His head fell in his hands as he tried to hold back tears desperately. He was so tired of crying about the same. Exact. Thing. Over and over again. He felt as if he was only allowed to talk about the matter a certain amount of times, and once he reached that quota he had to just keep it to himself the best he could. You stay quiet, letting him take his time to process whatever he wants to say next.

After a few moments, he speaks. "I just keep thinking about that night," he says, his voice breaking as he struggles to keep the tears from coming.

"I'm sorry." You were able to hear through his mumbles. Those words broke your heart. "Baby, you never have to apologize for being upset..." You try to soothe even though you know the two of you are going to go into your usual pattern when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He wakes up from a nightmare, he feels guilty about it, you comfort him and the whole thing starts up again a few days later. Looking at the clock on the nightstand it read:

3:23 am

You sit up on the bed as well so you can rub small circles along his back, the gesture easing him into your embrace. Leon leaned his head against your shoulder as you rubbed his back before completely face-planting into your lap, adjusting himself so he could get comfortable in this new position. You felt a sense of comfort as you watched Leon settle into your lap, content to be in your embrace. You enjoyed the feeling of being needed and appreciated, and you were glad to be able to give him the comfort and security he needed.

He always looks so small like this, no matter his size or stature, he looks almost petite. You bring your hand up to caress his cheek and wipe away any leftover stray tears. "I'm here baby, let it out..."

You just held him. His golden locks were entangled in your fingers as his head rested in your lap. You watched as his muscular form shook, Leon's sobs being muffled by the fabric of your checkered pajama pants. You felt yourself tearing up, your heart aching for him. The sight of him breaking down like this was enough for you to feel just a little bit of his pain. The ice-cold emptiness eating away at your heart, the feeling nearly suffocating.

You wanted to comfort him, to make him feel better, to make him know that he wasn't alone. You wanted to tell him that everything was going to be alright, but you couldn't. So you held him, in silence, feeling the warmth of his tears and body against your own. His strong arms wrap around you, pulling you in as if you are the only thing keeping him afloat. He would just sink and disappear if his arms weren't around you like a life preserver.

Leon shifts slightly so he can face you, his icy blue eyes showing signs of exhaustion. "It's just... I can't escape it, you know? The screams, the chaos, the feeling of helplessness." His voice trembled with the rawness of his emotions. "I'm just so scared that I'm going to lose everything."

"If you're not scared, you're not human." Your words hang in the air for a moment and they couldn't be more true. After Leon encountered those soulless monsters again and again in different forms, it was nice to be reminded that although these feelings are awful, they're a reminder that he's still alive. He's still somewhat himself. Leon clutched onto your words like a lifeline, desperate for the reassurance that you were truly here for him. Your soothing touch and comforting words echoed in his mind, pushing back the darkness that threatened to consume him. "I'm not going anywhere."

In that moment, he allowed himself to believe in the words you spoke. He found solace in the bond you shared, in the unconditional love you offered.

Letting out a shaky sigh, his arms leave your side and his hand finds its way to yours, intertwining his fingers with yours in a silent gesture of trust. "You always know the right things to say to get me to relax," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I promise you that I'll do everything I can to make sure you're safe and that what happened in Raccoon City never happens again." His grip on your hand tightened slightly as if clinging to you as an anchor in the storm.

Your eyebrows stitch together in a concerned expression, your free hand still messing with Leon's blond strands of hair to try and soothe him. You can hear determination and fear in his voice as he speaks. "I know, angel, I know..." was the only thing you could say in response. Life is unpredictable and you can't change fate, but the way Leon was speaking with his voice full of vindictiveness, you can almost believe him too. "Now, how can I get you to relax, hmm?"

A faint smile tugged at the corners of Leon's lips as he gazed up at you, his eyes still moist from his earlier tears. He appreciated your understanding; it meant the world to him to have someone who truly comprehended the fear and pain he had experienced.

He sighed softly, his body finally beginning to relax against your comforting touch. "Well, cuddling always seems to do the trick," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of playfulness, attempting to lighten the heavy mood. Leon shifted position, allowing you to maneuver more comfortably beside him and you couldn't help but crack a slight smile at his change in demeanor, feeling an odd sense of pride wash over you. It was nice to know that Leon was going to be able to have a good night's sleep now thanks to you. These restless nights usually end up bringing the two of you together, making him strong enough to face another day of the everyday horrors he has to deal with. He feels that he could face any monster that comes his way with you by his side.

dividers by the lovely @cafekitsune <33

© vxnillavampir 2023 - don’t copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my works.

[getvalentined]

Hey, sorry for the dm but I figured it might be an idea to reach out, especially after seeing your post about Pix, when though I only have a minor issue with them personally, if that makes sense.

They just kinda ghosted me out of nowhere one day, and at the point I did consider them a friend, I know it's small compared to the bullshit you guys have had, but there are people out there who care.

I hope it wasn't rude of me to do and speak of this, and I hope your life genuinely starts to get better soon, and that drama goes the fuck away.

Thank you for sharing this! Even if it doesn't seem like a big deal compared to what he's capable of, it's still an important indication of his character and matches with the pattern of behavior everyone else saw in him. Either he made people believe that they had a real friend and then just blew them off or disappeared forever, or he treated people like property that he owned and controlled (he literally once said that if we ever broke up he was going to "keep" one of my best friends in the world because he thought he'd met them first and that meant he had "custody"). Both options suck, to be completely honest.

And do not worry about me personally! I'm actually doing all right, for the most part. He burned a lot of bridges for me with the things he said and did—and the things he told other people that I had said and done—but I have a small circle of fandom folks I interact with on the regular, and an even smaller circle of friends whom I love with all my heart. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

[hazbincalifornia]

Hazbin Episode 1 Liveblog

In order to avoid this post getting Way Too Long, I'm going to make one post for episode one, and one for episode two!

I will say, I'm kinda sad we don't have a 'proper' theme song/intro, just the little jingle :( I do get it, but ah well.

Oh my god the commercial is even better in full.

How the fuck did he get Charlie to keep the name if it was still him???

Al's so fucking offended they're making him use a camera he made it one giant middle finger. I love it.

The voices are definitely going to take a bit of adjustment. It's probably because I've rewatched the pilot a zillion times, though.

I like how Alastor didn't even look at Angel. "Never going to happen!"

Awww, Charlie's ringtone for her dad is cute.

I DO really love Keith David as Husk right away, he suits the role perfectly.

"I like being forced!" and I love you, you weird little gremlin. Hoping for some good CNC stuff with her now, tbh. She'd be fun for it.

The flat delivery of 'crack is expensive' made me wheeze out loud.

Aaaa and here we go, full animation for Happy Day!

Why... why is the 'shoving barbed wire in your hole' guy an imp. Is that, like, his job or something. Is he just an asshole?

Ooooo, that was VAGGIE singing the 'bloodthirsty and deranged?' line? More fodder for her being a fallen angel/exterminator.

'Helluva post' for the mail. Ha.

This just made me fully realize how much the cannibal colony probably considers the post-extermination like a feast day.

Awww, the music note background is a fun touch.

Something about the fact that the 'touch my parts!' guy is a completely shapeless slug-creature instead of just keeping the dick offscreen makes it funnier.

Oh, I love Adam. The fun kind of punchable prick.

The animation seems a bit... overacted? I've noticed it all along but with Vaggie in the scene where she talks about making a new commercial especially. It sort of felt like they wanted to match the pilot's very snappy energy but weren't quite sure how, so everybody makes kind of... aimless motioning instead of moving with purpose, if it makes sense? It feels more like 'moving body parts for the sake of moving things' over 'moving with intent'. It's sort of awkward and distracting. The shifting proportions don't really help, but I just know people are going to be Fucking Annoying about that when it's unfortunately part of the package of making a whole season at once by a regular animation studio.

Oh yeah, Blake's perfect for Angel, lmao. It was more of a change than I expected from the few lines we'd gotten since they sounded more like the original, but he's got the energy.

Charlie didn't know Adam ran the angel army? That seems like the kind of thing she should have known. I wonder if she was relatively sheltered growing up.

'Call me dickmaster' why do I get the feeling the Chaz fans will like him, lmfao.

Since I'm on Adam though, another little groan to myself about the lack of fat characters in the hellaverse that aren't either gross stereotypes or background characters. Adam falls into the misogynist type, (like, the 'redditor', you know the one, just sort of mixed with a sleazy rockstar) Mammon's literally Greed and a talentless abuser, the lady at the pound was gross/uncaring and ugly, and I still think the Nurse was the only one that really broke the pattern and I've seen approximately one piece of fanart or mention of her ever (despite her clearly-developed positive relationship with Barbie!) and it was porn. I'm allowed to bitch on this after people were so fucking annoying about how wanting Bee to be fat was wanting her to be a 'gross ugly blob' and then saying other people were being fatphobic for pointing out everybody's skinny. Somehow. Anyway.

Well, at least they got the vagina joke out of the way early.

I love how his deal isn't for anything that would genuinely screw Vaggie over, he's just pissed they want him to deal with TV.

The fact that the pilot's still 'soft canon' makes sense with how Angel just immediately starts admiring his new clothes without any surprise, since it's happened before. Also, Niffty with the Marilyn pose is cute.

Oh, I'm definitely going to like Lute. I still like my idea she used to be close to Vaggie but when Vaggie was cast down, she stuck tighter to the rules.

Adam's song is fun!

So season 1 takes place over the course of six months? Huh. I'm guessing we'll have some time skips if we only have eight episodes.

I wonder what the Heaven Embassy is for? I can't imagine it's only for meetings like that considering there's couches in the lobby and stuff. Can sinners communicate with loved ones in heaven or vice versa, maybe, just using the holograms?

Oh my god the Katie voice IS basically just Brandon's Bryce voice. Amazing.

Ohoooo? VERY curious who managed to pull off killing an exterminator, and 'can't let them catch on'... hmm.

[kiirotoao]

Writing Patterns!

Thank you for the tag, @longtallglasses (their post) <3!!!

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics (or wips) and see if there's a pattern!

1. I can never look away

“Shit.”

Mike watches Will breathlessly cover his eyes.

“Holy shit.”

2. take me home tonight

“Mike.”

Will’s voice was… fragile. It broke Mike’s heart with every step and slight ending breath. Mike was afraid. He looked at the strands of hair falling in Will’s eyes and clutched his shoulder tighter. He wasn’t afraid of Will, no, never. He was afraid of what was happening. That he had no clue of what was happening.

3. Maybe

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Then again, when did that ever really matter?

4. Married to the Crime

Nothing. After working his ass off for the past hour and a half on this - nothing.

5. Stars Come Out At Night

Sara was an angel. An angel straight from heaven. She made his life complete. She was his universe. And he’s very aware of how cheesy it sounds, but he’d look up at the stars and see her face shining among them. He still looks up and sees her.

6. Rest

Sapnap yawned rather noisily as he closed the door behind him. That was nothing out of the ordinary.

7. Codependent

“Will. Will!” He calls, glancing up at the ceiling as if that’ll help hear Will’s voice better. It renders pointless, though. Nothing. “Babe, are you up?”

8. I’ll Be Waiting, Time After Time

Will is excited.

Getting out of any stuffy airport is always a little exciting, but that’s besides the point.

9. Muse

“Hold still.”

Mike groans and shifts in his seat. “This is impossible, I give up.” Of all the places he’s done this, this might be the most uncomfortable. He can’t believe that his boyfriend is making him sit on a stool, high enough that his feet don’t touch the ground.

10. flowers grow wherever you go

“I think flowers are sad.”

“Really? Why?” Quackity folds his wings and lies down beside him.

I was already kinda aware of my fanfic starter patterns, haha, but it’s good to see it all in one place and really identify it, and based on all these, I like dialogue, hooks, and motifs.

Tagging (no obligation or pressure, I just know y’all write hehe): @suzieburself @mikeslawyer @magentamee @parkitaco @howtobecomeadragon @foodiewithdahoodie

[nyamadermont]

Year in review (eventually)

Thanks go out to @itsmoonpeaches for suggesting I give this a shot.

1. Number of stories posted to Ao3: 14, total, all LOK-based.

2. Word count in 2022: 96,206

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Avatar: The Legend of Korra

4. Pairings: Lin Beifong/Kya II (3); Lin Beifong/Reader (1); Lin Beifong/Pema/Tenzin (9); Other (1 - shorts with various pairs, if any)

5. Stories with the most:

Kudos: Lin’s Interview, part 4 of Give Us Your Hand (Pemlinzin)

Bookmarks: Two Pairs of Eyes, (Kyalin)

Comment threads:  Elemental Changes, Lin Beifong-centric multi-chapter

Word count: Elemental Changes 

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):  I’m sure it’s cheating, but I have 3 answers. 

1: Elemental Changes: This started with an image in my mind, and I wrote the whole thing before I published any of it. And the art I commissioned from @slowdissolve kickstarted a whole new experience for us both.

2: The In-Between Years: I managed to take all 30 prompts from Angstpril 2022 and string them into a mostly coherent story, writing no more than 1000 words at a time. Not every day is a gem, but I am happy with the progress of the story from high angst to an amicable resolution.

3. Give Us Your Hand: What started as a 507-word @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt blossomed into a 46K-word, 9-part series (so far).

7.   Work I’m least proud of (and why): This is ‘least’ proud in a set of stories I’m really pretty happy with. I’m going to throw Now Is Not the Time under the bus, because in retrospect, it’s kind of a rewrite of I’m Sorry I Need You.

8.   Share or describe a favorite review you received: This isn’t quite what the question asks, but having @slowdissolve say she would have done my commission for free was right up there in the highlight reel. And those three little hearts from @mjsharizai are always an absolute treat.

9.   A time when writing was really, really hard: I’m still very new on the writing wagon, having just started writing for a hobby in early 2021. Thankfully, I’m old enough that when it’s hard, I just set it aside and come back when the ideas are ready.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I just can’t answer the questions the right way tonight. Here, I’m going with the whole Pemlinzin ship. How little goody-goody two-shoes me wound up writing polyamory is something I should think through at some point in my life.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:  

This feels very odd to describe as a favorite. It engendered my first negative review which was so mean-spirited that it was, in its own way, the fire that helped me write the next seven entries in the series. From Mistakes (Give Us Your Hand, part 2):

[Tenzin] sighed. “About a week before he died, she came to visit. She was being Toph, trying to pretend it wasn’t that bad, that he wasn’t dying. Mom left them alone to talk and went to lay down for a little while.”

He shivered. “I wasn’t with them. I just heard Mom shouting. When I got to Dad’s room, Mom was healing him, and Toph was crying. She had punched him like always. But this time, her punch knocked him into the wall and he hit his head. It wasn’t terrible, Mom got him comfortable, but Toph didn’t come back after that. I know she and Mom saw each other at the memorial, and I know they basically made up. But then I hurt you.”

He squeezed Lin closer.

“They were best friends for over forty years. But one argument broke their relationship.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: This is a question I think will be easier to answer in retrospect. I was able to complete a couple of larger projects, even after I got so far into them that I kinda didn’t know what to do. I’m just so new at this I mostly can only see my weaknesses.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Differentiating speaking styles and speech patterns between characters is a sore spot for me re-reading my own writing. I also know I’m not great at describing the interiority of characters. And starting fewer sentences with ‘and,’ ‘so,’ or an adverbial phrase {not an English major, I forget what the technical term is}.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I think that should be obvious by now. I owe @slowdissolvee a lot of credit.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

I’ve been married for 25 years and have 2 kids. There’s a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and memory in what I write.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

Be where you are. Sure, your readers are interested in seeing your updates, but your life comes first. #YourAudienceAwaits - and the patient ones are worth listening to. 

I’m going to offer a slightly different perspective than @itsmoonpeachessmoonpeaches, who was so kind as to suggest I take on this exercise. All while not disagreeing with her here:

Don’t be afraid to break out of your comfort zone. You will never grow as a writer if you continue to write the same things over and over again. If you have an idea for something very different, go for it! It takes a lot of effort and time to do something you don’t normally do, but you will end up being better after it.

I know I’ve already written the same story at least twice (see above), but it served me to write both of those stories. I clearly had some thinking to do on the topic.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I cannot put into words how much fun I’m having on Red Jade. Between working with Slowdissolve and getting to read the other Linzolt writers’ stories, I have been grinning for months.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

All in fun, friends. If it’s not fun, leave it be: @slowdissolve @orangepanic @master-sass-blast @pamplemousseparadox @superliz6 @chaoticnerdsstuff @wishingforatypewriter

And anyone else who wants to!

[stuckinapril]

ugh idk where else to go with this cause i only see my therapist once every two weeks (i see her through part of a program at my college, so i can't really adjust appointment frequency) but idk what to do about my ex. he broke up with me two months ago and afaik he still wants to be friends. we haven't talked in about 6 weeks cause we're giving each other space and we both know the ball is in his court for texting back first based off a conversation we had after the breakup. im like the most impatient person ever and its hard waiting for him to text back. atp i just want to cut him off bc 1. im over him and 2. making a clean and complete break might be better than waiting to see if and when he texts me back. i want to apologize for a couple things though so I'm considering having a "i want to apologize for a few things but after this i don't want to talk to you anymore" kinda conversation. but what if that hurts his feelings? and do you think that cutting off contact would be better than the potential saved friendship?

i went through the song and dance of trying to navigate how to handle the post breakup relationship w my ex this past fall. we were off, then we were on, then we were off again bc he dropped off the fucking radar. then i found out through a mutual friend that he was talking to another girl. don’t let yourself get to that point. don’t stick around for someone who broke up w you bc he did not want you. his reasons might be dogshit, or they might be completely valid, and still the end result is the same: he does not want you. i don’t know either of you, but honestly it sounds like he’s getting ready to fade out. don’t add hurt to more hurt by sticking around until he takes his access to you for granted & leaves for good (which he might already have, mentally). what he says means nothing if it does not align w his actions. i learned that the hard way.

and even if he contacts you, what good will it do? you’re still perpetuating unhealthy patterns by obsessing over him texting back. i say that w all the empathy in the world, bc i was there. i was so there. it’s completely valid for you to feel like this, but i sure as hell needed someone to give me that wake-up call back when i was conflicted over what to do. so i want to be that for you.

you need to go no contact. need to. no way around it. your brain chemicals are all messed up right now, and only distance will fix that. complete and total distance. no stalking his socials or checking up on him allowed.

once you feel like you’re in a better place, then you can reconsider the possibility of rekindling a friendship w him. but don’t bank on that. prepare yourself for the worst. so many people fall into the trap of never completely distancing themselves from their exes, and that’s why years later they’re not over that heartbreak. life is way too short for that. i want you to heal, and healing does require admitting hurt—but it does not, on any level, include looking backwards.

there’s likely a very solid reason you guys did not work as a couple—and for me and my ex, that also impacted the friendship aspect of things. like we would not have been functional either way (& trust me, at one point i was that girl insisting we can work it out and be friends). it’s not worth it. allow yourself the possibility of moving on by cutting him out. there’s enough damage as is.

[qualitativenotquantitative]

Last letter? Aha? (Trying something novel and completely undiscovered: writing out my frustration and posting it on the internet where you’ll never see it anyways)

Hey. This is going to be uncharacteristically harsh.

I’ve been giving you the benefit of the doubt. Mostly because I don’t want to be the kind of person who thinks in absolutes, and I also never want to be someone who gives up on someone for circumstances out of their control. I know that life gets messy, and I never wanted to put you in a position where I was actively making things harder for you. 

But also? You kinda treated me like shit. I look back on it all, and I’m just so disgusted with myself. I gave you nothing but grace. I apologized, and I reassured you, and I reached out—over and over again—because I thought it was better to be overbearing than risk losing you in the silence.  And throughout it all, I just kept pushing my own needs and wants to the side. I shoved down so many feelings because I wanted things to be *easier* for you. You took over 24 hours to respond to my text? I told you it was fine, and besides you responded eventually so I had nothing to be upset about. You canceled getting dinner? Only after I texted you the morning of, and only 1-3 hours after that? Also perfectly fine. We could always reschedule. Except we didn’t ever reschedule. You told me that you were going through a depressive episode, but that we should get together sometime later, and that was that. The last time you ever responded to a text from me. And I know so badly that I was never a priority to you. I thought that was okay. But consistently texting back (I would’ve literally been fine if it was a case where you had to take a couple days to a week to do it) should be the minimum for someone you care for. Because honestly? The lack of response was fine. And then it became a pattern. There has to be consistent communication on some level. After all, I made this so easy for you. I’m 20 years old and I don’t know how relationships work. You’re the first person I’ve ever done any of this with. I’m far from perfect, but I reached out. Consistently. I gave you openings for conversations; I invited you out places; I even asked to hold your hand. I brought you cookies and gave you little drawings and paintings that I’d made out of our inside jokes. I told you everything I was supposed to tell you; I did everything I was supposed to do. I told you that I cared about you. That I liked being around you and I liked talking to you. I forgave you for the inconsistencies in response and told you that it wasn’t a big deal. I backed off when you needed space, even when you didn’t take the time to tell me until after multiple missed texts. I made so many excuses for every little way you hurt me. And most importantly? I always responded to you when you reached out.  But you? You treated me well when it was convenient for you. Your inconsistency was like the world’s slowest poison, and your lack of response was a knife stuck and jammed between my ribs. I was crying on the floor of my room every other weekend because you wouldn’t respond, and I hated myself so much for feeling this way. You broke things off with me for the first time (even then you said we could still be friends), and I broke down crying in the middle of my math recitation the next day because the TA asked me if everything was okay and my only thought was that nothing was ever going to be okay ever again. It’s been almost 9 weeks since you last texted me, and here I am, still crying over you! You told me everything I wanted to hear, but you were only ever repeating what I said first. You never wanted to be in a relationship with me. In your defense, I knew this perfectly well (it gets obvious after a certain amount of ghosting). But you also weren’t ever direct about it. I compromised on almost everything because I was so scared you would leave, and then lo and behold, you left anyways. I don’t think you’re a bad person. But I also don’t think you ever cared enough about me to want to make things easier for me, too. 

And if you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, why did you let it go on for as long as it did? Why did you tell me that you liked me too? That you felt happy too? Why did you tell me that we could try something? Why did we get together every week if you knew it wasn’t going to continue? Why did you ask me if I wanted to get dinner that weekend only to cancel on me the afternoon of the day we were supposed to get it? Why didn’t you have the guts to end it when you knew it wasn’t going to work out?  I gave you so many chances. By the end, every text was an opening. “I get it if you’re not feeling it”. “No worries if it’s not working out for you”. And you were never once like, oh yeah, maybe this isn’t working for me. You just left me with silence. The ghost of all the memories we shared. And still I reached out. Was I supposed to take it as a kindness? I wanted you to be direct with me. Like I was direct with you. I have never shown that kind of vulnerability to anyone before, and you didn’t ever have the guts to do the same.

I know you’re never going to text me again. You’re going to let it die, and I’m never really going to know why. There’s no fucking closure. And maybe it is partially my fault for acting like it wasn’t bothering me. Oddly enough, it does not absolve you of your guilt in this too.

I hope I never see your face again for as long as I live. There were so many ways you could’ve handled this better, and I’m chalking most of them up to a lack of care. Regardless, you should’ve been honest with me. You should’ve either tried to make it work or at least told me that it’s over. BUT IT’S SUCH A FUCKING WASTE TRYING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING. You just didn’t care in the way I wanted you to. Sometimes I think you just never had the capacity.

One day, I hope you do get that fairytale ending. I hope you get to a stable place and the stars align and you meet someone who you’re actually excited about. But I also pity all the people you find before then. You know as well as I do that it’s all going to devolve in the same pattern; because at the very base of everything is the fact that you are always going to be the one who disappears. And until you figure out a way to stop doing that, it’s going to be nothing but a string of ghosts in your wake.  As for me? I am going to move on. Maybe not today. Maybe it’s going to take me some more time. But there’s going to be a day when I don’t feel like crying every time my friends bring up your name. You weren’t good for me, and sometimes it’s as simple as that. I haven’t texted you in almost four weeks, and it’s a sharp kind of relief to know that I don’t intend to ever again. In the meantime, I genuinely don’t know if I’m ever going to fall for someone again like I fell for you. I’m not in a place where it’s productive for me to consider relationships.

If I ever do find someone though, I hope they’re nothing like you. Don’t get me wrong; it would be great if they treat me with kindness, make me laugh, and listen to my bids for attention in the ways you were always so good at. But I also hope they text me back, and that they don’t take days to do it. I hope that they show consistent interest in me. That they don’t put me in a position where I’m constantly doubting where we stand. I don’t need someone actively prodding and agitating the spiders in my head. Mostly, I hope they actually like me in all the ways that I like them. 

I’m maybe not the prettiest person, and I have a tendency to ramble. My speech and writing is riddled with disjointed sentences. But I’m smart and kind and am always finding new reason to be curious about the world we live in. I’m easily amused, and I work hard for the things I care about. I’m an athlete and a musician, and even if I don’t have the best hand-eye coordination, I’m fast and determined, and I’m confident I could beat you if it came to a race. Not that it’s particularly relevant. I just feel like putting that out there. (You have to have a win every now and then).

I’m not the kind of person who is going to continue wallowing in this for the rest of my life. Grace and generosity can only go so far. I won’t be angry forever, but right now I think it’s good to let myself feel everything. The one thing I’m truly confident in is that I will only be stronger for all of it. It’s never easy to get over someone who you have feelings for. Then again, it’s just one of the things we have to learn to do. Seasons cycle. One day you’ll just be a footnote in my life. So goodbye I guess? Lol? (Mostly good riddance)

[chosenmango4233]

I have been putting off sharing this weird dream I had last year.. The strange specific nature of it, and the power of my subconscious associations, I was really caught off guard with this one.

A smidge of context, I don't dream very frequently, maybe once every few months. I have aphantasia, so it's normally kinda just empty in there day to day. I also have a fairly poor memory, so my brain tends to create echos of my day to make weird hyper specific bundles of activities sourced from recent tasks. This was not a mundane remix though, no, this was something wild, and it's sources proven to withstand my internal trashcan. So enjoy this core memory of mine.

This dream starts at a party. On the surface, just a casual gathering in a building that is half bar, half vet, with a line of people with exclusively pet birds. Couldn't tell you why these buildings were combined or why there were only birds. However, fitting the usual dream criteria, one could shrug and move on. I also feel I should mention I'm not usually in my dreams, they're rarely even in first person. Usually I'm observing through a camera, like I'm watching a movie. So right away, things were getting sus when I was actually attending this dream.

A normal enough, mundane party, everyone was human people, I didn't know anyone, except for two strangers who played the role of my friends for this dream. We sat in a corner of a spa like fountain room, resting away from all the conversational extroverts in the actual bar. My two 'friends' sat in the corner of a room length booth seat, and I was sitting cross legged in a 6" deep pool of water. After a few minutes I joined them on the booth, just as two more people arrived. Two people in my waking life who I knew, who I hadn't talked to since I was in school years ago.

They joined us and we had a conversation, I can skip the personal details, but this was strangely healing. This was the first moment that broke the pattern of my weirdness in dreams, and even the me in the dream was picking up on it. But I can at least trace the source, talking with them about past events, catching up, wishing we had been better friends and getting that closure, people who were on my mind in real life at the time, makes sense to appear here. Helping me move past that in a dream, makes sense, right? A nice calm chat to sooth an old wound, all nice and normal. More emotional than I expected for the regular dream cycle, but fair enough. Now you may think these were the only oddities and be wondering why this post is tagged the way it is. Well. This emotional bonding session was mearly the appetizer of the main course for this freakshow about to unfold.

The next person to arrive, was Grimm. Y'know, the character from Hollow Knight. Not in any human form, just exactly in game but around real life people. Hand animated and all. A bit jarring looking back but I and the party goers remained unphased. I was hyperfixating on hollow knight at the time, and no surprise have been for a while, so sure. Whatever. Let this be my first and only hk related dream since. Now for the next layer to peel back.

The second none human creature arrives. Again, exactly in the style of which he is drawn in, anime and all paired against real people.

Sebastian. Fuckin' Michalis. From black butler. A show mind you, I watched twice, almost a decade ago, of which I haven't thought about in an equal period of time and have completely forgotten about until this dream because again, VERY. POOR. MEMORY. Such a thing allows me to live in bliss when my passions fade, and I can easily move on as if I was never invested in the first place. A bittersweet thing that completely buried this show. A show that wasn't even that important to me at the time, so. My brain dug deep, deep down in the abyss of lost years for that one, and I'm still shocked by the appearance.

This would have been uncomfy enough. But no, under the disguise, the sheeth of emotional support therapy to let go of the past... At the same fuckin' time I had to watch Sebastian fuckin' michalis in all his anime glory and this bug ass dreamlord lock eyes at a party. Like an early 2000s film they locked eyes from across the room and immediately separated from their respective groups and met up in an isolated corner. Again, I can't state this enough, everything else was normal, normal looking human people, standard ass party gazebo and spa pet store blend. "NORMAL ENOUGH." AND YET. THESE BROS IMMEDIATELY STARTED TALKING.

These chads who according to my subconscious would work together well visually and vibe wise chatted each other up for maybe a minute before leaving this party together. Swiftly, exchanging very suave lines left this party and all I could do was watch them walk away, my jaw on the floor in awe as even in this dream I was confused. Like I had in real time just witnessed a wattpad fanfic trope come to life and play out as if it was completely normal. And in this dream world I was the only one to notice.

Cut to 15 minutes later and they rejoin the party and no one adddress a damn thing, and I wake up. Left to ponder the details of how well they would get along and fail to find the source of that weird dynamic. WHY. WHERE?? WHO WHISPERED IN MY EAR WHILE I SLEPT. WHY MUST I FEAR STUMBLING ON ART FOR THEM TOGETHER IN A CURSED COITUS. I'm just glad my aroace ass spared me a sex scene, even my subconscious is willing to respect some of my boundaries 😭

I still don't know what caused such a hyper specific sequence of events, I don't even go to parties, or see birds on a daily. I hadn't thought about black butler for years like. Why. 😭 Why all these uncommon, unrelated things all merged together? It's so out of place for my basic bitch dreams 😭😭

[flwrkisses]

how txt would comfort their partner who is having a stress induced anxiety attack

hi guysss!! i know i said i would be posting more and then you guys got crickets but uh... so im trying to work on some longer pieces of writing in between the holidays and it has made it self to be impossible!

request: 'Can I request a TXT reaction where their partner has a tantrum temper because school/work puts a lot of pressure on them?'

genre: some angst, fluff, established relationship.

warning: anxiety looks different on everyone, so my  description of anxiety might not mirror your exact experience with anxiety and thats ok!

✧*:･ﾟyeonjun

he would notice something was going on, despite how much you wanted to hide the fact that you were hurting inside. the amount of work on top of school had been reaching your breaking point and you wanted to get through this semester without worrying him.

problem is yeonjun knows you almost as well as you know yourself. so he'd of course ask you about how you feel and how things are going which  surprisingly was enough to set you off.

if he's being honest, he got scared at first. he felt terrible for making you break down and cry but he'd wrap his arms around you, letting you feel out everything you need to while letting you know you're still there.

as much as yeonjun loves to talk, at this very moment it was all about you and only you. he would listen and nod along with what you were saying to show you he was listening.

after you let it all out he asked you to breath with him, to help he'd hold you to his chest so you could feel the deep breathing pattern along your back, allowing you to mimic them to calm down.

"it's alright baby, i hear you and i know it's rough but, i'm so proud of you for getting through it one step at a time okay? lets just focus on your next step, it's not time to worry about the bigger picture just yet okay? it'll all end up coming together."

✧*:･ﾟsoobin

your boyfriend came home way happier than usual, which wasn't a bad thing! but, for the first time in a long time he was up and you were down so his hyper spirt overwhelmed you greatly as soon as he got home.

as soon as he noticed you weren't smiling he would stop acting goofy and sit with you. it wasn't often that he came home so hype so seeing him shut off automatically added guilt to the top of your mountain of emotions.

you completely broke down in front of him, muttering self deprecating words to yourself and tugging at your hair a bit hard. he looked worried, he didn't know what to do. you've never had an attack like this but he did realize it was one.

he quickly would grab you and pull you to him, squeezing you hard since he read online that physical touch and being squeezed can help endorphins reach the brain causing people to calm down. which was exactly what would happen in your case.

he would hold you without saying anything and squeeze you tight until you no longer were gasping for air and your breathing regulated. soobin wouldn't talk throughout the whole thing, he would simply just let you calm down and waited until you chose to talk to him.

"i know it's rough, trust me it happens to me all the time.. it's not fair, you do so much and i know you think there isnt any meaning behind any of it.. but everything will pay itself off in the end okay?"

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

he would extend his hand in front of yours and wait for you to tap in. physical touch was something he knew was important, so "tapping in" was an important practice you both did. 3 taps on the other's palm, 3 taps on the other's arm, 3 taps on the shoulder. he read online it helps.

once you went through all sets of tapping he'd smile softly and ask you "what's wrong?" and give you pouty kisses as you spoke. serious gyu is very tender and loving.

after a while you both just kinda stare at each other in silence to which he breaks out into a goofy smile and laughs once you start laughing at the realization that you guys are just sitting there looking at each other.

"baby i know it's hard... i wish all your worries could just fly away but it's not as easy. let me help okay? you don't have to do this on your own alright?"

✧*:･ﾟtaehyun

bringing food home, taehyun was excited to finally have an afternoon off to be with you. he would usually cook but tonight he wanted to treat you both to something a bit more different. but, when he saw you sitting in your shared bed sniffling at the window he knew something was wrong.

taehyun's main priority is making you feel comfortable and bringing you back to a slightly better mental space. and he does so by sitting you up straight against the headboard of the bed, sitting in front of you and doing breathing exercises.

he'd hold your hand in his and gently caress it, letting you calm down on your own count. he thinks it's important to feel your emotions which is why he doesn't completely try to pull you back up with giggles and smiles. it also didn't work for you.

once you were ready to breath with him he would do breathing exercises, he would look you in the eye and smile softly knowing that you're slowly calming down.

the rest of the night was spent in his arms, he wouldn't leave you alone knowing that you could fall into another panic attack. he fed you, cuddled you, talked to you and just treated you so gently after.

"i wont leave you baby, i know it's hard... and it's okay to be overwhelmed. i got you okay?"

✧*:･ﾟhueningkai

kai walked out of the bathroom after taking a shower and was ready to jump on you to cuddle when he noticed your jagged breathing and frozen state. it worried him, but he knew exactly what it was.

he would pull you up to him and look at you, usually at this time your boyfriend would also go quiet since he usually gets quiet when he gets serious and do nothing but hold you. tucking his head into your back so you can feel him around you.

after calming you down just a bit he would play a short game with you, one to ease your anxiety. he'd whisper something that he can see so you can respond with something else that you see.

in between words he'd place gentle kisses on your skin because this big love baby is gentle like that.

he plays the eye-spy game with you until he can feel you losen up on him. he lets go a bit so you guys can talk about it a bit more now that you've got both feet on the floor

"no it's okay, we all get stressed out! you're okay. i can always help if your workload is too much alright?"

❁ requests are currently closed! ⤞ i am working on your beautiful requests !

for more of my work: masterlist.

[hyrulesunflower]

ALRIGHT. THIS IS GONNA GET KINDA LONG

ok so firstly. IS FI OKAY????? my guess is Yes because of the blue glow that we associate with her (but she's probably not doing too hot,,,, since she essentially IS the sword.) (side note but i used to be mad that fi's appearance didn't change with the goddess blade as you improved it, but then i remembered that ghirahim only changes form because he's dropping a disguise of sorts, and letting out his 'true' appearance, which i imagine fi is capable of doing as well.... but at the level of damage we see the sword at, i'm not sure about that now....) anyways!! it's super interesting to me that it managed to destroy the entire?? blade?? we can see that the damage stops right at the triforce emblem, which isn't just a symbolic thing- the emblem only shows up on the master sword after zelda blesses the blade in skyward sword. it's a direct representation of her- hylia's- powers, and that's clearly the only thing that saved any part of the blade. still ODD considering the master sword is untouchable by any form of darkness? it's the blade that pierces evil, it can't be resisted- so how did it get DESTROYED? it's clear from the way it was destroyed that it was from the Malice, and i say that because of, well. everything about it! the circular, smoke-like movements, the jittering lines- if you look at the holes as well, you can see how similar they are to how dehydrated ganon's body looks.

i know that some people are probably gonna go 'it was the green magic glowy hand that broke it!!' but just look at how the hand affected LINK! and we KNOW it was the hand, so just by comparing the patterns we can clearly see it's not the same. also we don't know enough about the magic hand to understand how strong it is or what it's motives are but we do know that it helps link so i REALLY doubt it would destroy the master sword but then this all begs the question once again- HOW?!?! unfortunately we just! don't know! hahaha it's totally fine!!!

another side note but i have a theory about Fi and her ability to communicate with zelda and not with link, which i'm sure other people have also theorized but. i'll make a post about it.

SO. where the fuck is our guy at!!!! it's clearly some place in the sky based on what we've been shown before, and there's this. glowing mass in front of him, which also reacts to his funky hand and seems to activate it? my first thought was "Urbosa???" bc that's her color, but I don't think that's it. link grabs the master sword and it's because he's seeing it to react with this glowy thing... and listen. obviously there's going to be some mechanic where we need to repair the master sword- it's really common for the series, even when the master sword isn't 'damaged'. i've got 2 ideas for this: 1. these glowy spots will replace the function of shrines, since there shouldn't be any more shrines to complete (narratively, it makes sense) and instead of enhancing link's soul, we're repairing the sword 2. this glow functions a lot like the flames in skyward sword and how they helped forge the master sword- except now they're going to reforge the sword

it also makes sense both ways having this area in the sky since we're already very familiar with the botw overworld so it gives us new 'collectibles' or sorts AND it ties in with how skyloft was, and is, the birthplace of the master sword. where better to fix a sword than where it was made? we also see in the skyward sword mini-manga (YES it's canon, it's in the hyrule historia for hylia's sake!!!) that the place the sword was literally created is also what becomes part of skyloft so.... it's up there somewhere-!

BUT THEN I JUST HAVE MORE QUESTIONS. why is the glowy thing reacting to link's funky new hand?? it lights up a symbol on the back of his hand, and it's not something i recognize. it's too complicated to be any form of script, and while it's similar to gerudo writing, it's not vertical enough. much too round, it doesn't fit how gerudo writing, which is really really linear, looks.

it still COULD be gerudo writing, but only if it's a new form of it. there's multiple kinds of hylian script, and specifically skyward sword's and botw's are VERY similar visually, but they're not. we've had the same gerudo text since what, ocarina of time? so it's not a stretch to say it's a new form of gerudo writing.....

anyways, i need to be real-life productive now so i'm going to. do that.

[pepprs]

HI so… per my last post today i did nothing but play video game ♥️. i havent done a wobbledogs post in a couple weeks in bc i got an ear infection and then my wifi adapter broke lol but here are some dogs i have loved recently... (im leaving a lot out bc.. there have been SO many since my last post. but these are like my favorite favorites over the last couple weeks)

this is vasthy! idk why i love them so much i just think she looks rly cool. a lot of the dogs she’s related to look kinda similar but.. idk she specifically just rly grew on me :D

this is PIGLET and they are just a happy little guy!! i wasnt expecting to love him so much but their pinkiness just makes me so happy and i love his little eye shape (it’s charlotte’s! in fact i may be wrong but he might be descended from her now that i think abt it? which would be funny bc of charlottes web lol charlotte and then a pig….) and also he was always just super friendly w the other dogs lol. i just loved having him around. an all around good guy

this is BEAK!!! i dont have many good pictures of her and u cant really tell from this one but she is my first dog who got honest to goodness horns out of nowhere…. and she has a UNICORN HORN at that! ive tried to keep horns on her offspring but i havent been successful yet and its rly frustrating lol but i will work on it

this is beanie! i think she’s piglet’s descendant somehow.. just an all around cool pup who loved holding dirt in her mouth <3

this is dumbo (named for those GIGANTIC wings) and he is the wobbledog equivalent of the get stickbugged meme lol. he had a difficult life bc as he got older he had trouble walking around bc his body got so long and his wings were so huge and his legs couldnt support him. so he would just do a lot of flips to move around and get stressed out all the time and i caught him in some funny poses (like the one pictured) but.. overall he did not have a good time. but i like him a lot and i wish i had done more to make sure he wasn’t in distress all the time

this is FLOCKA my absolute beloved!!!! (i FULLY meant to name him floppa after the meme bc of his coloring like the big cat… but i got it mixed up w flocka and by the time i realized my error "flocka” had already grown on me 💀💀💀) he only had 1 leg and he had a rude personality so instead of getting stressed he would get really angry.. and he absolutely STOLE my heart bc i started watching him rly closely and learning what would stress him out and removing the stressors before he could react to them badly! i was rly excited and proud of kinda coming up w a language to interact w each other... like he couldnt grab food a lot of the time so i would move it to this specific spot against his forehead that he would always get it from and things like that. idk i just love when dogs have like a unique personality or way of doing things that stands out and then i feel like i bond w them lol (throwback to charlotte 🥴) but thats flocka!

and THISSSSS is wammawink (solid green body, lighter red face... yes named after the centaurworld character 🥴) and her daughter wiggly (yellow hearts on green body, darker red / pink face)!!!!! wiggly is my first ever worm dog and bc of her i have completed every single achievement in the game except for one wing angel and i am SAURRR excited. wammawink only has two front legs (i kinda cheated by finding a dog code on the discord that i figured would give me a good chance of having offspring with 2 front legs 😭 but i nabbed her as soonas i saw her) and i had a TON of dogs w only two back legs to try to pair her with... it was actually soppy from one of my earlier posts who was the other parent to wiggly so that was rly cool since i loved them so much! i also am very amused / pleased that wiggly looks SO much like bambi.. like the same coloring and everything except bambi’s face is brown, same face shape and eye shape and pattern, etc.... so true of her <3

AND FINALLY!!!! LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!! IS MY BABY BOY CUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am OBSESSED with his nose and as soon as i saw it i knew i couldnt let him go. look at his little paws i am SICK!!!!!! look at his EARS! HIS EYES! HIS SNOUT!!! WAUGHGHGHGGHH!!!! BABY BOY BABY!!!!!!! the pictures dont convey it (also all of these are from before he was an adult bc i was so focused on getting a worm dog when he grew up lol.. as an adult his ears and nose turned into a light purple and im still not used to it) but cub is absolutely fucking LARGE. he is maybe my biggest dog ive ever had. he was already a pretty big puppy and he maybe tripled in size as he grew up to the point where he can’t really sit inside the den now without having to bend his head. also this was more exaggerated when he was a puppy / juvenile but when he flies his wings kinda.. jerk him backwards and all over the place and splay out his hind legs? and i am SO obsessed w it its the cutest thing ever in the whole world. i love himmmmm 💓💗💝❣️💖💞💗💓💞💝💖❣️💓💓💞💗💖💝❣️💓 (also he literally picked up the fucking VACUUM and was flying with it in the first pic. icon behavior)

[wing-ed-thing]

Addition (Kabuto x Reader)

Request:

Word Count: 654

Tags/Warnings: Dark Content/Themes, Yandere Themes, Choking, Canon-Typical Violence, Gender Neutral Reader (I know the request says daughter, but no pronouns are used), Orochimaru considers Kabuto his son in canon so make of that what you will in terms of Orochimaru’s child, @brokennerdalert​

Notes: Kinda looks like Stein here tho.

You had no idea what was about to happen and it made Kabuto smile.

Orochimaru was dead: an opening created by Sasuke Uchiha and taken by Kabuto Yakushi. You stood at the entrance of your designated sector, waving as you greeted Kabuto with excitement. And as he approached the base hidden in the mountains, he couldn’t help but remember the words of his old master. If you’re dissatisfied with what you’ve had in the past, you can just find other things and just add them to yourself from here on out.

And you let him in, babbling and unsuspecting, unknowing that you were about to become a part of the collection.

“Dad sent you to run errands all the way up here?” You laughed as you led him down the corridor. Dad. Kabuto thought that you were funny, talking about Orochimaru as if he was his father, or even your father for that matter. You were always funny to Kabuto in the fact that you were nothing like Orochimaru. Maybe that’s why the Sannin sent you all the way out here. You were capable in battle, Kabuto would give you that, but you were far too sweet for what your creator wanted you for and no amount of sweetness could convince Orochimaru that you weren’t a failed experiment.

“No, that’s not why I’m here,” he said, stopping in the middle of the hall. You turned when you noticed him no longer following you. You wore your confusion blatantly on your face.

“Oh.” The unspoken question suspended itself in the air. Kabuto looked into your round, naive eyes. Even in your adulthood, you were still too meek to ask a question as simple as why he was here to see you.

“Lord Orochimaru has passed on to the next life.” And his facade cracked. A devilish smirk broke out across his lips, one that you didn’t see as tears began to well up in your eyes.

“What?” Your hand shot to your mouth as your face contorted in horror at the news. Surely, you anticipated that Kabuto was here to console you about the news. Even genetically engineered, you were Orochimaru’s only child. “How did this happen? Are you sure?”

“It’s okay—” Those were words along the lines of what you needed to hear, but they were followed by something much more sinister. Kabuto reached up to remove his hood. —“because his power lives on in me now!”

And as his hood hit his shoulders, you physically took a step back. Silvery-white scales completely covered the left side of Kabuto’s face and the whole of his forearm. Your hand remained slapped across your mouth as you couldn’t bring yourself to even blink once at the man in front of you. You immediately took off running and you heard his laughter behind you. A hissing followed and you dove forward to morph straight into the wall, causing the snakes to hit the solid barrier and recoil.

Kabuto moved slowly down the hall. You tried to hold your breath as you remained camouflaged, but your efforts to stay hidden and sneak away were foiled as a hand took an unrelenting grip on your neck. You were pulled from your hiding spot, the patterning across your skin and clothes melting away.

“Lord Orochimaru was wise, but not wise enough to notice the potential right under his very nose…” Kabuto’s laugh came from somewhere deep in his chest as he pulled you close. His tongue darted out across his bottom lip. “We always made a good team, didn’t we? I can make you even better. I can do better than Lord Orochimaru and now that he’s gone I get to have you. You get to come with me now. You’re the only one I’d have by my side.”

You’d be leaving your post with Kabuto no matter what you said.

He took your shaking as a positive answer.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[maggyoutthere]

This "Everywhere At The End Of Time" thing has been showing up on my recommendations list on youtube. What even is this thing-

I mean it sounds neat. I'm like half an hour in and I like it :/ it's so nostalgic with the static and record scratches. I'm a sucker for ambient music and these sound neat

Edit:

Reached Stage 2

What is happening why is this triggering something in me. Like I can clearly tell something's wrong. You can still hear the music but the static and record scratches are louder.

I'm kinda scared though. As much as I love listening to music I can tell when something is just more than your typical summer hit or even mental health PSA. What is this-

Edit 2

K so apparently this is an album representing various stages of dementia. That's a tricky thing to do but I have faith in music. It's a great way to express stuff so I'm very curious to what this is gonna turn out like.

Edit 3

Idk if I like where this is going.

"I still feel as though I am me" broke me a little for some reason. Idk why but it just stood out differently to me. I am very very hesitant to jump some tracks to get to hear the other stages still today. Most of these tracks transmit the same idea but I didn't want to leave out anything.

Also no I hate rb stuff to make those threads. Have the consecutive edits of this thing.

Edit 4

STAGE 3 YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OFF LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL-

Little heart attack I just had aside, I'm liking it so far. It's starting to get very uneasy but I think that's the point of it. Goodness gracious Stage 3 scared the absolute crap out of me. It cut just like that. So abruptly and caught me off guard. Not even a fade out, damn.

Edit 5

I had to skip some tracks from the second half of Stage 3 and

oh no

Edit 6

Reached Stage 4

I am having some very visceral reactions to this. It is incredibly unnerving but I want to keep listening to it so much. I love how it’s not even music anymore, it’s just... noise. Lots of different noises all crumbled up together, unified by some vely loud static.

Might have to skip some bits here because all Stage 4 songs are 30 min long each.

Edit 7

MOMS COME PICK ME UP OH FUCK OH GOD NO NO NO NO

I HATE IT HERE BUT I LOVE IT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s so hard to put down what this is doing. I’m not even sorry for rambling just take this post for what it is idfk if people are even reading this but holy fuck.

The 30 minute ones are killing me from the inside out. I’m very sensitive to audio and sounds (probably because of autism) and this is just pulling all the levers in my brain. It’s so- i have no idea what to call it. Sensory triggering?? I guess???

Edit 8

Stage 5.

Oh... god. 

Edit 9

Reached Stage 6

This has no description, both in the video and in my head. The sheer nothingness something so loud can transmit; the void where something should be but you can't remember what. Blessed were the minutes when I was still listening to the first track; there was music at least. Now there's just this emptiness, this absolutely deafening silence.

The worst is that you know exactly what's going on.

Edit 10

Listening to the last track: Stage 6 - Place in the World fades away

Everywhere At The End Of Time is a series exploring dementia, its advancement and its totality.

I cannot put to words what an absolute masterpiece this is. To tackle such a serious mental illness like this one is already an incredibly hard thing to do; to make art out of it is risky, to make it work is nothing short of a miracle.

The Caretaker (pseudonym of the composer) is an absolute master of his craft. To use something so carefully constructed as music and sound to make sense of something that makes someone not make sense is a challenge to say the least. How do you even go about it? In music there are bound to be rhythms and leitmotifs and patterns: there is bound to be organization.

This is where EATEOT absolutely excels in. I don't know if this could be called of music but I'll surely call it of art; the genius of these tracks are in their editing rather than in their composition. The first 2 stages are pretty much just songs with static noises and record scratches layered on top. It gets the message across: there is still memory, it's just blurry, washed out. It's there but it's hard to see.

From then on out, everything changes. Stage 3 keeps the background noise going, now repeating certain parts of the songs or even reverberating them. The memories themselves are starting to change, not just getting difficult to access. Stage 4 sees the absolute fear and horror of realizing such thing is happening. The grasping at anything in pure terror of forgetting everything. There is no such thing as music now. It's unnerving, it's uneasing, and rightfully so. This does not sugarcoat things and I personally like that.

Stage 5 hits us with a certain calmness after the storm. Things aren't better of course, they're just quieter. Memories are starting to dissapear completely and now there is mostly only the background noises.

Then comes Stage 6. It's desolated, it's deserted, it's nothing. It's gut wrenching. I'd like to touch on the last song because I particularly liked this one. "Place in the World fades away" is, in my opinion, divided into 2 parts. In the 1st half you have static and noise. There is nothing in there. The occasional crescendo almost scares you because of how hollow the mind seems to be at this point, but it leads nowhere. Then there's the 2nd half. You start to hear music. Actual music this time. A choir of voices, still echoing from somewhere else remind you of how it first started: with the music. It puts things into perspective and signals you towards the first of this 6-part series, how far we've come. Then, as if telling what must be told, the music fades away, leaving you with a whole minute of absolute silence. No static, no record scratches, literally a whole minute of dead silence.

I found myself continuously going back to this tumblr post and to the comment section of the video; I didn't want to feel like I was experiencing this alone, and I was glad to see people in the comment section helping eachother out, talking and venting, so that was heartwarming.

I know I'm not usually very serious about things but I wanted to try and do it for this absolute magnum opus. I like to critique stuff as much as the next guy, but to be able to analyze something like this is unique. If you want something to challenge you emotionally, something to make you think and reflect on things, this is an absolute must.

Tl;dr: Everywhere At The End Of Time is a haunting representation of dementia, both in its advancement and in its totality. It's really profound and definitely worth a try if you have some free hours.

[comfortmarvelimagines]

You are Home, and Home is Safe

heyhey ! deciding to just get it over with and post this tonight (for those of you who don’t know what i’m talking about, a post explaining can be found here. side note, please be nice in my inbox, its been rough getting some of those comments). i am, however, going to continue to tag autistic!reader fics with #whenyoucantfindthequiet and #wycftq, so they’re easier to find. hope it’s what you’re after, nonnie, and i’m so so sorry it took so long !!

features : autistic!reader x mama!nat, lowkey asshole Tony Stark (it’s okay i didn’t make him really mean, just kinda well-meaning but misplaced/ mistimed) 

warnings : uhhh i guess meltdowns, some self-injurious behaviour

Words are hard. Always have been, always will be. 

You haven't always had a family. For years you were passed from foster home to foster home, with a consistent message: you were too much. Your needs were too high, your behaviour too confusing, your struggles too much to deal with. It got to a point where you began to question yourself, your diagnoses and trauma, wondering if it was all in your head or for attention like you were told over and over. 

That changed when you met Nat. 

It wasn’t immediate of course. There was the initial period of complete and total distrust, of another stranger whose life you were thrust into the middle of, floundering and drowning with no support. There was shutdown after shutdown. The trauma of being ignored and punished for meltdowns meant that you’d learned to internalise. You barely ate, and didn’t speak. But Nat met you where you were, unwaveringly. Was always calm, composed, voice level. Kept food out on the kitchen bench at all times, figuring out your safe foods and keeping them stocked. Realised you liked small enclosed spaces and stocked your bedroom with beanbags, pillows, stuffies and blankets, a permanent blanket fort taking up residence in the living space. Perhaps the most wonderful was her commitment to listening to you, with or without words. The superspy was quick to recognise your shutdown states from body language alone and responded quickly, with two option questions and the request to tap the hand of the answer you wanted. 

You almost wanted to feel embarrassed, humiliated, of the accommodations she made so immediately. But she always spoke to you conversationally and never in an infantilizing tone, like so many before her, and the trust you held for her grew. It didn’t always grow in a way that you felt was positive, though. As weeks passed you felt your shutdowns turn into meltdowns and silence into frustrated screams. You didn’t want to hurt her. You didn’t want to feel ungrateful or angry or like any of this was on purpose but somehow she knew. As she held you close after each one she reminded you that your body was unlearning trauma, that you were safe, that you were loved so fully and unconditionally and nothing, including meltdowns, would change that. The way she held you felt like home. 

But no one else was like Nat. Social workers were condescending, school was overwhelming, nowhere was safe. So you stuck to Nat. It wasn’t long after you were placed with her that she pulled you out of school, realising that they were doing more harm than good, and she was always there for homeschool. Not looking over your shoulder, but present. You could hear her humming through the walls, or swearing as she dropped a spoon into a pot of soup on the stove again, and it was comforting. It wasn’t the apartment that was home, per say, but having a parent made it feel like one. If she went to the grocery store or a walk in the park you came with, ear defenders on, clinging to her sleeve for safety. She told you that she loved you a million times a day, until one day you said it back. 

Words came easier after that. Simple things, like asking what’s for breakfast, became routine. It wasn’t just Nat softly illuminating the cramped space with hummed melodies and occasionally vulgar language but you as well, asking for help with homework or explaining a meme. It felt normal, comfortable, okay. The outside world was too much, but inside your home, the anxiety all but melted from your throat. 

You never wanted to leave safety. You wanted to feel it all the time. It was warm and sweet and heavy but in a calm way, like a weighted blanket sinking into your joints. It started as a one-time-thing, after a particularly rough meltdown, but you started sleeping in Nat’s bed. It just felt… right. The panic that set in when Nat left the room and you didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing or if she was ever going to come back was so all-consuming and nauseating that going to sleep alone, in another room, unable to hear her was torturous. What if she abandoned you, gone in the night, social worker beckoning you on to the next uncaring couple, crowded foster family or group home? This way, when you woke at 2am from a nightmare, the first thing you heard was her even breathing. Home. Safe. 

***

Tony Stark was something else. Nat eventually started to transition back to work, and, as being homeschooled permitted, brought you with her. Even in classified meetings where you weren’t allowed in you sat in corridors and made sure you could see her red braid through the frosted glass, glancing up from your laptop every few seconds to make sure she didn’t disappear while you wrote your English critique. The rest of Nat’s colleagues (it felt too weird to just casually refer to them as the Avengers and co) didn’t mention your presence, at least in front of you; it was as if they didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Not that you’d say anything back. Outside of the safety of home it was like the anxiety disconnected your brain from your throat, anything you wanted to say cut off before it reached your tongue. It was frustrating. The first few days ended in meltdowns when you reached the apartment and it felt weird and strange and almost like you were two different people but an all-round embarrassment of a child. It was weeks before things settled into a routine and a pattern of acknowledged non-acknowledgement. A pattern Stark ignored. 

You were sitting at the island bench in the communal kitchen, drinking chocolate milk and typing out an assignment, when you heard both Nat and Tony heading down the hall towards you. They’d just come out of a meeting, you sitting watch outside the whole time, and Nat had sent you to the kitchen to wait for her while she headed upstairs with Tony to drop off some paperwork to an intern. You hadn’t thought much of it. Sure, you didn’t like being away from Nat at all, but if she was clear in where she was going and how long she was going for (provided it was only a short period), you did okay. It was okay, until you heard the discussion from down the hall. 

“Damn, Nat, is that the longest you’ve been away from the kid?” 

“No.” 

“C’mon, Nat. I know the kid’s been through some shit, but this isn’t healthy. For either of you. What happens if you can’t get out of the mission next time? They’re gonna have to be away from you at some point. You can’t be in this line of work with a barnacle of a kid.” 

You’d heard enough. As the topic changed and they entered the kitchen, you didn’t look up from your laptop in greeting.  

*** 

Too much. Too clingy. Too anxious, too needy, too autistic, too much. You needed separation. Give Nat space. Of course she needed to work. The world needed her, and they didn’t need you tagging along. When you got home that night, you headed straight to your room. Buried yourself in the mountain of blankets and stuffies and waited until Nat came to check on you, facing the wall, feigning sleep. You doubt you fooled the former spy but nonetheless, she left you be, a whispered “I love you” hanging in the air as she creaked the door close behind her. 

It was seconds before you broke. It felt like choking. All of the fear that was slowly reduced to an ebbing tide through months of living in a caring environment crashed on you like the mother of all tsunamis, saltwater running down your cheeks and into your mouth as if smothering all the words you wished you could scream. It lasted for hours and hours and it was relentless, painful, as if your heart was being ripped out and an empty throbbing numbness was expanding in its place. You were too much. Too much. Too much. 

Nat stood outside your door at the time when she’d usually be gently waking you up, watching you unfurl and stretch yourself out of the cocoon of blankets you slept in every night. She knew something was wrong from lunch yesterday, and your isolation from her was concerning. She figured you needed space, but the sleep she knew was an act sat at the back of her mind and bugged her all night long. Even with that nagging suspicion that something was up, nothing prepared her for the way her heart sank when she came in and saw your body curled up, eyes red and barely open from exhaustion, pillow and face damp from tears. 

She was at your side in seconds. Your resolve to cut yourself off melted at the sight of her open arms, safe, warm, home. And immediately your body melted. Hands running through your hair, the promise that you were safe, loved, worthy of support, the request to “tell me next time, please, you don’t need to deal with this on your own.” 

For some reason, those were the words that broke out the first sounding sob in the 12 hours of silent crying. It was so loud and gut-wrenching and it almost didn’t feel like it came from you at all and it was such a weird feeling, and all of a sudden you were scratching at your arms to try and re-embody yourself and Nat was breathing calmly and deeply and gently rubbing your shoulders until you found yourself easing back into your physicality.  

“Did you hear what Stark said yesterday?” 

And just like that she figured it out, of course she did, because she’s a trained spy and that’s her job, to put the pieces together and slot the narrative into place. And god, were you grateful, because you couldn’t see yourself stringing sentences together to accuse none other than Iron Man himself of triggering waves of hurt just by stating what you’d convinced yourself was the truth. She was quick to reassure. You are loved, you are wanted, you are always welcome and will always be her child and what you need will always come first. The warm safety settled itself in your belly and you let the tiredness wash over you, drifting on a life raft of whispered Russian lullabies and Nat’s hand rubbing circles on your back. At peace.

Of course, you’d never tell Nat, but hearing her whisper-yell at Tony over the phone for being an insensitive dick was possibly one of the best moments of your life.