#i keep thinking of that zelda meme

[louwhose]

Hi Lou! Can I ask for Sheik in F4?

why YES YOU MAY

...and since I actually really liked the full expression that Sheik's glorious bangs and face covering realistically hid, here's that version as well:

[azuresage]

It gets talked about a lot but I still can't stop nerding out about Link's characterization in TotK. It's done through his many creative dialogue choices and his expressions of course, but it's also done so subtly through what he *doesn't* say. Notably, he doesn't talk about himself. And this is why nobody recognizes him unless they've already met him. Because he doesn't tell them when they've got the wrong impression of him.

The meme about Link having Tony Hawk syndrome is so real. People will look at him and straight up say, "Wow, you look exactly like Link!" without a hint of irony. Lookout Landing has a detailed picture of his face in their watchtower and the search party still doesn't recognize him. Penn works with Link for a long time and thinks he's unlucky that the Yiga keep "mistaking" him for the Hero (granted, Traysi asked him to deliberately keep quiet, but Penn still didn't put two and two together himself). I think the reason for this, aside from it being really, really funny, is that Link just doesn't talk about himself. He doesn't feel the need to.

Characterization isn't just about what we see a character doing, it's also about how other characters respond to them. Link is so unassuming and humble that he doesn't match people's expectations of what "Link" should be like. The three Gerudo ladies hanging out around Outskirt Stable are one of many perfect examples. Link stands in front of them carrying the Master Sword, but they expect the Hero to be taller than they are, with a giant glowing sword, so they don’t believe it's him. Obviously that's not the reality, but they don't know that. Link doesn't correct them, either. Again, he doesn't feel the need to.

This is also why many NPCs from BotW don't recognize or remember Link. To them, he was just a passerby that did them a good turn once 6+ years ago. Nobody's going to remember a person like that for so long after. They had no way of knowing he was the Hero, unless it came up for story quest reasons. When they hear stories about the Princess's Appointed Knight who woke up from his 100 year nap, defeated the Calamity, and rescued Zelda, they imagine someone larger than life. Then when they see what Link actually is like, they can't put two and two together.

This is true even during the Hyrule Restoration efforts. Link always follows behind Zelda as her shadow, which she notes in her diary, but the people in the stable investigation quests and in Hateno don't recognize him either, even though he went everywhere she did. Link is just that unassuming. He resigns himself to being a shadow, allowing Zelda to take the lead and do as she pleases but always staying nearby to support and protect her. He doesn't need to be recognizable to do his job. And we know from both BotW and now TotK that he's wholly devoted to her. He's content with this. Many people more eloquent than I have spent many paragraphs elaborating on this. I just wanted to focus on what it says about his character.

Link is humble and unassuming, so much so that nobody believes that he's the Hero unless they already know him. He's devoted to Zelda, so much so that he's willing to do anything to chase even a glimpse of her. He doesn't talk about himself or correct people who have the wrong impression of him. He doesn't need to do that to chase his Zelda. He is a person of great humility in spite of his station. I think that's so interesting and neat how the comedy of him being unrecognizable also tells us all this about him. It's also cool how this is only one aspect of him; all the dialogue choices and expressions he makes during cutscenes and actions out in the world show a whole other, lighter side to him that meshes with this. It's all so good. I am in love with it. It always kills me inside when people dismiss his characterization as being nonexistant or flat just because it's not spoonfed to them or when they say Link being unrecognizable is lazy writing instead of a deliberate choice. I am biting and gnawing and gnashing over him and his relationship to Zelda. I love them so much.

[multbasa]

So Link's Awakening starts you off with no sword and you have to navigate around enemies to get one and Wind Waker has a whole sequence where you have to navigate around enemies without a sword as well.

Echoes of Wisdom will be the first mainline Zelda title where you don't use a sword at all (specifying mainline because Link's Crossbow Training is a thing. Also yes, EoW is a mainline title)

Link's Awakening has the best song ever during the time when you don't have a sword while the stealth aspect of Forbidden Fortress in Wind Waker was very fun in my opinion, so I am very interested in Echoes of Wisdom's direction.

Oh, technically BotW and TotK have many options besides using a sword unlike past titles that generally require very specific items to attack enemies in very specific ways including the sword, but generally you can use a sword for almost every situation (even long distance attacks by just chucking a weapon at something).

I enjoyed the "meme team" in Hollow Knight using little minions, so I think the echoes in EoW are right up my alley.

Speaking of mainline titles, EoW is 100% a mainline title. Since the very first Zelda, the franchise has always been about having a variety of abilities or items to progress through the game. A sword is one of those things but the lack of a sword doesn't make it not a Zelda game. There are still puzzles and dungeons as there have always been (BotW's Divine Beasts are the dungeon aspect even if they are very different from past dungeons—for the record, I enjoyed them). The franchise has always had different gimmicks in each game to keep things fresh and I appreciate that, so this title's gimmick involves no sword which is something that has happened in small sections in a couple past games.

The DS games are mainline titles, the Oracle games are mainline titles, even Triforce Heroes is acknowledged as a mainline title by Nintendo, so there's no legitimate reason to claim that Echoes of Wisdom is not a mainline title just because there's no sword and the protagonist is Princess Zelda herself.

I do hope that this game opens up opportunities to innovate in the future. Wind Waker and the DS games included controlling other characters even if temporarily in the case of Makar, Medli, that goron kid from Phantom Hourglass and Phantom Zelda, so I definitely think playing other characters in the Zelda franchise is not outlandish.

I think this is an exciting new step for the franchise and I can't wait to get my hands on Echoes of Wisdom.

[fourswords]

if i could make links from across time meet each other i would just make it the four sword links (hero of the minish, hero of the four sword, fs link, hero of light) because:

a) i want mc link to be the youngest so the other three look at him like "THIS pipsqueak is the one who made the four sword???" and yes he is still the only one of them who has the four sword because he still had it after his adventure ended. and he hits them with his energy beams about it

b) i want them to get in a fight over knights (fs link, fsa link) vs. non-knights (mc link & hero of the four sword). i know fs link isn't canonically said to be one or the other but i think that since his zelda called him to the four sword shrine the same way fsa zelda called fsa link to look at the four sword sanctuary, it would make sense to Assume he's a knight

c) out of the four of them, i think fs link would be the living personification of the charlie brown "i got a rock" meme. he is also the oldest out of all of them (i would think like 15 or so) and the best with teamwork after the hero of the four sword

d) i only ever see mc link & fsa link in links meet AUs and i want them ALL to meet each other (and it'd be funny because the hero of the four sword would be looking at mc link like "is this for real my ancestor" like hyrule historia teases)

e) i want the other three to look directly at fsa link and go "who's ganon?"

f) using the manga version of fsa link here it would be funny as hell if shadow was still stuck as his literal shadow and he was just being as un-shadow-like as possible

g) i think it'd be hilarious for mc link to find out how the four sword splits the other three. like damn y'all didn't change the sword the sword changed you? sounds like a skill issue.

h) i think the hero of the four sword would be the cockiest one there. according to the manual he as a young boy literally happened upon vaati wreaking havoc and said nothing but "i'm gonna kick this guy's ass" and then went and did exactly that. he's cocky because he's got mad skills (and the best control over totally splitting out of the three of them that can do it) and he knows it

i) no princess zelda is ever mentioned in the hero of the four sword's story and i also think it'd be funny if he was born into an era without a zelda (like an adventure of link situation where there's some prince in line for the throne instead) and the other links are like "wdym you don't have a zelda."

j) unsurprisingly considering his game & his independence within said game, i think mc link would be absolutely godawful at teamwork. fs link keeps trying to nicely give him tips to no avail, the hero of the four sword keeps eyeing him weirdly (the whole ancestor thing again), and fsa link is having flashbacks to himself sucking bad at teamwork. shadow is laughing at him from the ground

i could keep going with this but you see my point. i want to put them all in a room together and watch them go at it

[readthephible]

120 misc ship questions | shaymien edition

buckle the fuck up guys /pos

1. who rushes to open doors for the other?

damien

2. who drives more often?

either

3. who is more eager to jump in the shower with the other?

damien

4. who takes self care more seriously?

both but probably damien

5. what’s a song that reminds you of them?

starlight - muse / rather be - clean bandit / everywhere - fleetwood mac / j’s lullaby - delaney bailey + every song i’ve used to make an edit of them with (everything i know about love - laufey, end of beginning - djo, you & me song - the wannadies)

6. what’s another couple / duo (real or fictional) that reminds you of them?

ian and anthony tbh (also dan and phil but i don’t think anyone cares about my explanation)

7. which one keeps more things because they’re sentimental?

shayne

8. which one tells their parents about their partner first? how does it happen?

damien i feel like would be so excited bc he’s so fond of shayne that it would just accidentally slip

9. whose family are they more likely to stay with during holidays?

shayne’s maybe? bc az is closer?

10. whose parents are / were stricter?

shayne’s

11. who uses more emojis?

damien but like ironically

12. where was their first date?

so random soundstage /j uh idk maybe something casual so it wouldn’t feel do heavy at first. a restaurant they both enjoy or smthn

13. what’s their favorite game to play together (any kind)?

nidhogg

14. which one spams posts / links to the other?

damien “this reminded me of you” haas

15. who is the black cat and who is the golden retriever?

obviously damien black cat shayne golden retriever i mean come oN

16. what mythical creature / monster would they each be? (vampire, werewolf, dragon, fairy, etc.)

damien - vampire, shayne - something with lots of wisdom like druid idk

17. who urges the other to go sing a karaoke duet with them?

damien

18. what is their karaoke song?

rather be or an emo one like panic or fob losers (me hitting my 10th year as an emo mark)

19. who is more likely to serenade the other at random moments?

damien

20. who stares at the other from across the room?

damien

21. who brings a shopping haul of clothes home and who watches their fashion show?

both

22. who insists on paying when they go out to eat?

damien

23. who is more impulsive?

damien

24. who is ‘everything’ and who is ‘just ken’? /ref

damien is everything, shayne is just ken (sorry bud)

25. whose main goal its it to make the other blush?

damien

26. who is first to know about a new trend, meme, slang, etc.?

damien

27. who gets up early to make the other breakfast?

shayne

28. who insists they are their pets’ parents?

damien

29. do they have pets together? what kind, what names, etc.

mildy canon /s freyja and zelda

30. who is more of an animal whisperer / befriends wild animals?

damien

31. who has more patience?

shayne

32. who insists on fixing something themselves, and who would rather call a repair service?

damien wants to fix himself, shayne wants to call service

33. who turns something into an innuendo first?

damien

34. who takes longer to understand a joke or reference?

neither

35. who hides in the other’s arms during a horror movie?

shayne

36. who is more jumpy / scared easily?

shayne

37. who makes more movie references?

shayne

38. who thinks die hard is a christmas movie, and who doesn’t?

damien thinks it is, shayne thinks it isn’t (idk for sure though this can probably be fact checked)

39. who talks more during a movie?

damien

40. who carries the other bridal style?

damien

41. what are their thoughts on marriage?

hmmm idk. hesitant but open?

42. what’s the last name situation when / if they get married? (who’s last name do they take, do they keep theirs, do they hyphenate)

haa stopp (like haha, stop) i’m so funny guys (haas-topp or topp-haas idfk)

43. who wants the less traditional wedding?

damien

44. where do they get married, and where do they honeymoon?

probably in a more secluded pretty place in california, and they honeymoon in japan

45. where is their favorite place to travel?

japan

46. what do they do on vacation?

do all the touristy things, shop at nerdy places for magazines and trinkets, get lost

47. which one overpacks and which one underpacks?

both overpack?

48. who is the yapper and who is the napper?

it depends on the topic, if it’s about sports then shayne is the yapper and damien is the napper, if it’s maybe voice acting roles or something damien is the yapper and shayne is the napper

49. which one is a lighter sleeper?

damien

50. who is the moon and who is the sun?

damien moon shayne sun

51. who collects more? (figurines, pokemon cards, etc)

damien

52. who is more excited to decorate for the next holiday / event?

damien

53. who stopped believing in santa later than the other?

shayne

54. do they want kids together? give me all the details - names, what traits they inherit, etc.

in parent au i would think they maybe have 2 girls and 1 boy? alice, cheyenne, and ??? (on my sims they have 2 kids so far, klaus and alice)

55. who is a stricter parent and who is more lenient?

shayne maybe slightly stricter than damien

56. who reads a book, and who reads over the other’s shoulder while cuddling?

shayne reads, damien cuddles

57. which is booba and which is kiki? /ref

damien is booba, shayne is kiki

58. who believes in soulmates and who doesn’t?

neither but damien slightly believes more

59. who gets nostalgic more easily?

damien

60. who is more of a perfectionist?

damien

61. who hosts more parties?

neither

62. who makes handmade gifts more often for the other?

both!!! (damien’s little wooden board for him, shayne maybe mini paintings or origami 🥺)

63. which one is more formal when answering emails?

shayne

64. who prefers skinny jeans and who prefers baggy jeans?

damien - skinny jeans, shayne - baggy jeans

65. who’s better at roasting the other?

damien

66. who initiates more pda?

damien

67. which one is better at censoring their language, and which has less of a filter?

damien can censor better (twitch) shayne just isn’t as used to it

68. who insists on being player one?

shayne

69. which one snores like “honk shoo” and which snores like “hoooonk mimimi”?

damien honk shoo, shayne hoooonk mimimi

70. who gives more forehead kisses to the other?

damien

71. what does their future look like?

happy, content, open communication, side by side coexisting, love, support

72. which one believes in astrology more?

damien

73. what was their first kiss like?

with both consent and surprise

74. who steals the other’s clothes more often?

shayne

75. who steals the other’s food more often?

damien

76. do they believe in ‘celebrity hall passes’? if so, which celebrities are theirs?

damien maybe fictional characters, shayne pretty demispec so he doesn’t really have anyone to feel that way towards

77. what matching couples costumes do they wear?

something nerdy as fuckkkkkk from an anime or video game probably

78. who is naturally more cold / more hot?

shayne maybe cold for snuggles, damien for cute sleepy frustration of kicking the sheets off

79. which is more extroverted?

damien

80. how do they celebrate valentine’s day?

maybe a small outing but mostly at home together enjoying company, touch, and sappy sex hehe

81. what’s a holiday tradition they have? (ex. presents before breakfast on christmas)

insisting they don’t need to splurge on each other’s presents but they each give at least one that’s pricey but thoughtful

82. what niche pet names do they have for each other?

for damien from shayne - slaymien yaas, deem beem, damienuhhh

for shayne from damien - baby bird, my guy, bitch

83. who hates small talk and would rather have deep conversations?

shayne

84. what’s their icebreaker / olive branch after a disagreement?

“i brought home food from canes for us”

85. what kind of food or restaurant is their favorite to get together?

^

86. who believes in conspiracies more?

damien

87. which had their friends tries to set them up?

sorry matthew scott you will always be the wingman if it’s during so random days. if it’s during smosh days it’s courtney.

88. think of your favorite movie, then incorporate your pairing into it somehow and talk about it.

damien being jack skellington, shayne being sally née finklestein

89. when they’re separated in public, what do they yell out to find each other?

“SHAWNYAY” “DAMIENHAASEN”

90. professors!au. what subjects would they teach?

damien - linguistics or history, shayne - psychology or botany

91. ghostmates!au. who is the ghost that haunts the other?

damien

92. soulmates!au. how are they connected? do they have matching tattoos, names written on them, etc.

i haven’t finished my soulmates au fic but i did the stereotypical purple/black moon, yellow/blue sun

93. punk x pastel!au. which is which?

punk damien pastel shayne. this is canon

94. historical!au. what time period are they in? what are they up to?

probably victorian vampires like iwtv (gaaay)

95. hospital!au. who’s the doctor, who’s the patient, and how did they get in that situation?

shayne broke his ankle and doctor damien is confused how he got in that mess. or damien is a hypochondriac and doctor shayne is trying and failing to reassure him he is fine

96. massage parlor!au. who is the masseuse, who is getting the massage?

damien giver shayne receiver ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

97. angel x demon!au. who is the angel and who is the demon?

angel shayne demon damien

98. gender swap!au. what are their names? (ex. anthony is antoinette)

demia and shaniya?

99. superpowers!au. are they hero and sidekick? mortal enemies? villain duo? what powers do they have?

i love enemies to lovers villain damien hero shayne for some reason

100. timeloop!au. who is stuck and who helps them out of it?

shayne is stuck damien helps him out (read this fic now)

101. royalty!au. who is the royal and who is the knight / guard / maid etc.?

shayne is royal damien is the knight (read this fic now)

102. magic!au. what kind of magic do they use?

damien i can see either being a healer or persuasion. shayne again with wisdom like vast knowledge or nature powers idk

nsfw / suggestive ⚠️

you didn’t see me fill out any of this btw

1. what’s their favorite position?

missionary so they can keep taunting each other. or riding. or any way damien can touch shayne the most. or anywhere

2. who uses their mouth/teeth/tongue more?

damien

3. who uses their hands/nails more?

damien

4. who is a bit more adventurous?

hmmm. shayne?

5. who is more willing to go to a sex shop in person, and who is more embarrassed?

damien can wear a mask and somehow convince himself that he’s extroverted enough to small talk. shayne tried to just get him to order online

6. who is more into dirty talk?

damien

7. who is more into eye contact?

damien

8. what was their most risky / adventurous experience?

across the bed instead of up and down ? smoffice ? in the car in an empty parking lot ? idk

9. who likes to bite, and who likes to be bitten?

damien likes to bite. a lot. we have been over this (i was the one who made this question list)

10. what is their favorite sexual activity to do together / to the other?

damien marking shayne up, dirty talk, biting ^ shayne roleplay, appealing to senses, sense of mystery

11. which is more dominant / which is more submissive?

the d in damien stands for dominant and the s in shayne stands for submissive

12. what was their first time like?

very loving and gay and beautiful and sweet and sloppy

13. who likes to be spanked more?

shayne

14. who sends dirty texts more often?

damien

15. mile high club? yes or no?

too sleepy or anxious so no

16. what’s something they reserve for special occasions?

toys

17. how long into their relationship did it take for them to have sex?

i love the trope for them of like friends to lovers, so as soon as like, they decided they were gonna be more than platonic, it was pretty quick after. damien’s playful touches turned sensual very quickly

18. how often do they have sex?

pretty often bc damien’s pent up-ness will spill into other aspects (like being ‘horny’ in videos), and shayne just gets a lil irritable / attention seeking

[ganondoodle]

feeling much better now having gotten some sleep (the dont trust how you feel about yourself past 9pm is good advice no joke)

of course all my criticism of totk still applies but im feeling less depressed about it, tho i will say its honestly kinda baffling how many times the game actually got me interested and excited about stuff and then just kinda drops it in a dead end, of course they were those kind of things in botw as well but it seems much less .. balanced in totk

(not even just the big things like making me want to actively do something to help zelda turn back when it just gets solved on its own in the end, but also some lil things like the fact that so many NPCs tell you about that newly discovered animal species and when you find the dongos they are just gem vending maschines)

in the end i can say, no, i dont like totk, tho i still love the graphics and the way the world is made ( botw showed me jsut how immersive and alive a world can feel i love it to death), i liked the gameplay and that it kept the freedom botw had established, the bossfights are mostly fun (tho i wish you could refight more of them), i LOVE the yiga and im glad they got more of a spotlight, the music is FANTASTIC i keep catching myself humming along, alot of the sidequests are much bigger and feel like you are actually doing something, i like how the sages are a bit more integrated into the story, the majority of the new designs are great, both the japanese and german voice acting is great, and the end fight has some of the best build up i have ever experienced, my heart starts to race when that music build up starts even tho i have beaten it 3 times already-

however, the story is both simple and incredible flat with lots of stuff that doesnt make sense especially when it was said to be a sequel, the zonau should have stayed a mystery imo, they failed to make me care about them even a little bit and often felt forcefully crammed into the world and its history, i think you could have told an incredible story taking place in the present and leave the past be the past, you easily could have connected botw and totk in a much better way than they did, i dont like how it changes aspects about botw all the while nigh ignoring it ever happened, it still feels like it was trying to be a replacement and not a sequel and all the referencing and callbacks to the old titles may have been done in good faith but that and including time travel yet again ultimately lead to people ripping each other to shreds over trying to prove its placed in the old timeline despite it making no sense at all and confusing people even more; often when the game made me care or be excited about something it was dropped in a dead end, there was a ton of missed opportunities and lost potential to tell a much more nuanced and interesting story/lore, and thinking about it only makes me sad for the things that could have been

overall i think my disappointment is outweighing my fun and the only way i can keep playing it while having fun is ignoring everything that isnt, which works quite well most of the time since im pretty much done with all story stuff but i keep slipping into my little rants nonetheless; i will say its making me a little worried about the future of the franchise, but i know im in the minority and maybe i will just have to accept that the new stuff wont be for me anymore and i should not hope for anything that interests me xD

except for some meme material or specific characters i love i dont think i will make much use of anything totk tried to establish, and i hope thats fine with the lot of you (<3) hopefully that also means my ranting days are over xD

anyway, back to making niche art i go! (sorry for making you endure these long ass rambling posts :,) )

[sabrinahawthorne]

for the tarot ask game -

The Emperor — Do you have a process you follow with your design work? OR How important is mechanical complexity to you?

The Star — Talk about a game you’re working on and what excites you about it.

original ask meme

The Emperor

I'm kind of waffling on this one - I think it's a broad question, and I could answer it a lot of ways. Let me try to walk through the basics of writing a game for me, and we'll see how that turns out.

Generally speaking, I build games around a pretty simple pitch. "Skyrim Isekai," "Naruto Simulator," and "Classic Zelda with a Chess Board" all come to mind as examples. Either that, or I have an idea for a central mechanic, and try to build a game that justifies it. This would be Broke Wizards, or a couple of WIPs that may or may not ever see the light of day. This is my less preferred method; I tend to think vibes first, and systematize as I go.

Once I have a clear idea, I'll make a write-up document to codify those ideas into discrete items. It's usually bullet points interspersed with paragraphs about reference media or design goals. These docs are intentionally messy and incomplete - their purpose isn't to be readable, but rather to warm up the connection between brain and fingers and get me in the headspace for proper design.

From there, I build games version-by-version. I keep files organized like game updates (version 0.1, 0.2, 0.2.1, and so on), making saving a file as a new version whenever I make what I consider to be a major change or addition.

As I work on these prototypes, I'm also working on broad-scale things, like figuring out what order in which to present information, and settling on the voice of the game. Generally, I'm a pretty plain, straightforward writer, but I try to put some personality into the text of each game, especially since I have a tendency to build games from joke ideas. I refer you again to Skyrim Isekai.

I usually work on the text of the game before anything else, waiting until it's feature-complete (and usually text-complete) before I even think about layout or art. Most of the time, I have a pretty clear idea for how I want a game to look long before this point, but I save this part for last largely because it kind of scares me. I'm getting better at talking to artists and finding public domain work, but it's always daunting, and it's probably my weakest area.

Once I have all the assets I think I'll need, it's off to Canva I go. It's also at this point that, if I haven't so far, I bring in my wonderful partner to help. She has more experience with graphic design and art than I do, and she has a wonderful sense for what makes a thing look nice. Generally speaking, I always work next to her while I'm doing layout so that I can prod her with questions any time I'm not sure how to do something, or when I need another pair of eyes to make sure I haven't made something too offensive to the eye.

From there it's a matter of uploading a new itch project page, doing some blurb-writing, and noticing several typos after the game has been up for days.

The Star

I mean. It's CLASH!. You know it's CLASH!. You must, right? It's the only thing I've talked about since January.

Well lucky for you, I have more new things to say about it, because nothing I said above applies to the development of CLASH! so far.

Something that excites (and scares) me about CLASH! is that it's the biggest game I've ever worked on, and it's the first one written with the express purpose of being printed. Both of those come with an exponential increase in the overall complexity of the project, both in terms of design and production.

Design-wise, the path of CLASH! has been quite an experience. Its increased size means that, hopefully, people who play it will be playing it for longer periods, and I want it to stay fun and engaging as they do. That means that CLASH! is the first game I've ever playtested before releasing. That feels a little like an admission of guilt, honestly, but for what it's worth I think I've done a pretty good job of making games playable and fun so far anyway.

I also have a lot more things to juggle. What non-designers might not realize is that every feature added to a game is an exponential increase in complexity. As an example - I added Tech tags as a way of implementing the progression mechanic of the Specialist, which you can read about here. But in doing so, I had to make tags mean something in the broader context of the game's mechanics, so that they wouldn't just be a clutter of nonsense words that the majority of players would never find any use for. As a result, I ended up changing how the Vessel's progression works as well, and I'm considering doing something similar for the Powerhouse.

All to say - a more feature-rich game means one whose features all require a much greater depth of consideration and testing, which slows things down.

As for production, CLASH! has been a huge learning experience. This was intended from the beginning - I knew before I started that I wanted this project to be the center of a number of big steps forward in my career, and that translates into the game itself. For one, Canva isn't good enough anymore - I'm learning Affinity Publisher for it, and slowly driving myself mad in the process.

Seriously, if you have any resources for learning, like, the ABCs of graphic design software, please link me. I don't know what any of these buttons mean and I don't know how to make a text box.

I digress. I want CLASH! to end up on store shelves if I can help it. That means talking to local game stores, buying an ISBN number, and learning how printing works, which is a many-headed beast in its own right.

Alright, I think I've typed out CLASH! in all caps enough for one post. Thanks for the ask! And if you're reading this and you're so inclined, give he game a few dollars at the third hyperlink in this post, or by buying me a coffee. And go check out the work of the Artist for this game, @hakuryuu. They do good work, and they deserve your money.

[sotc]

Get To Know You Meme

Tagged by the lovely @dreadfutures & @itseghost - thank you both!!!! Sorry for being so slow to get around to this! 😅

Three Ships:

1. Zevran x Warden (since it's the latest brainrot on my mind) 2. Heinrix x Rogue Trader (the second latest brainrot on my mind) 3. Wrathion x Anduin

First Ship:

Thinking way back probably like Zelda/Link or Master Chief/Cortana?

Last Movie:

Deadpool and Wolverine! Good movie - enjoyed it!

Last Song:

Femininomenon by Chappell Roan. She's been my #1 lately 🫶

Currently Reading:

Nothing 💔 Honestly I wish I had more time for reading but I can barely keep up with my other hobbies lol.

Currently Watching:

The Decameron (2024) and The Musketeers (2014) show!

Currently Eating:

Nothing! I did snack on some pickles tho earlier :p

Currently Craving:

To draw a comic of my warden and Zev but alas.... the fear of sucking is getting to me, taking -1hp every time I am thinkin' about it tbh agh lol but we'll see!!

Tagging: @uldren-sov @totallynotzzombiecat @lealdog @arendaes @camelliagwerm and anyone else who wants to do this! If you already did it I forgor or I missed it and feel free to ignore <3

[hypertextdog]

whats with the 196 population of this website and branding their blog in that forcefully anticharismatic kind of way. you know what i mean. username including the word "dumbass." real "i'm such a himbo you guys! someone affirm i'm a himbo or i'm gonna do something big!" type shit. and then the works. profile picture: stolen art of seductively posed boy kisser. blog title: just a dumbass :3. bio: Hi, I'm a stupid fucking freak nobody likes | I like weird niche shit no one cares about like The Legend of Zelda and rock and roll music. | A cis boi ('really? on [tumblr]?!' Yup - and if yall got a problem with it you can eff right off.) | DNI's do nothing, fite me. pinned post: uncaptioned stolen depression meme -- this one specifically -- with tags #196, #rule, etc. and it's all that kind of thing for as far down as you wanna scroll. furry genocide meme in 2024, screenshotted repost of car hammer explosion meme with op's url cropped out, need-post for catboys, among us twerk gif. come on. remember when the reddit guys first came over and the whole meme was acting all "well these redditors aren't my forte, but at least they're not the TWITTER refugees! who SUCK UNEQUIVOCALLY!" about it? ... what the hell were you people talking about. i'd take a hundred twitter users before one of these guys even with all their dream smp type proclivities. they're less pervasive. "but the politics of the twitter user are so distinct from our own!" do you really truly think the twitter brand of puritanism is that distinct from our own. is there something different about it when we villainize fetishy business on our terrain. come on. is there something tasteful and unique about "piss on the poor" type shit when it happens within the domain of "hellsite (affectionate)." i dont think so. i think half of you never made it out of queer-infographic-instagram alive -- torn-off chunks of you in the domain of the toothpaste gay flag accounts with the four or five emoji-coded mods who still to this day keep their 2018 friend group breaking discourse on the public highlights. Omg. just the worst. and you think if you keep posting here you'll get those pieces back? PLEASE. but the reddit guys are worse i do think that.

[r0achezz]

r0achezz safespace of doodles and authoring galore >:3

*BEFORE WE START I AM A MINOR SO KEEP IT SFW

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Hello! welcome to my blog! Hope you enjoy my silly little writing, art, rambles and more! You're just in time for the dumpster fire XD

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Name: call me either Ray or roach, whatever you prefer.

pronouns you can use for me!: he/him/himself, they/them/themself, it/its/itself

I like: Legend of Zelda stuff! such as linked universe, linked maze, and every other thing in between!, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, kny, bsd, and my Ocs 😼.I also enjoy seafood a lot and think that you are also pretty cool :]

I don't like: being called she or mentioned in a feminine way. giraffes, despise those things, Lu warriors.

tags i will use:

#r0achezz asks <- asks ofc!

#roachy reblobs <- reblogs

#r0ach doodles &lt;;- art

#r0achezz wonders/r0achezz <-Everything else

___

Ao3 is Burning_roaches (The reason i called it that is because of a silly meme my friend sent me heh)

discord: 。=(^.^)=RAY=(^.^)=。

twt is Cem3tary_b0y

we now have a discord server!:

___

Feel free to DM if you need advice, need to vent, or just to get to know me more!! I don't bite ^^ (just don't be weird (in a gross, bad meaning way) and/or send in hate :P)

___

*note: while i've been doing art for awhile now ive only just started to try out writing in august! so please be kind, critism is absolutely lovely!

___

Btw writing requests and art requests are open! Though art might take a bit longer ^^

*pfp credit goes to AKchimp75!! Thank you for the lovely art ^^

header from this post!

HEYYY! Shadow link here, uhmmmm, Roach keeps on putting off our sys tags so I’m putting them here now! >:)- *NOTE: expect Me or host posting most of the time

Shadow Link-🕷️

Azmin- 🌟

LU sky- 🪶

Dazai Osamu- 🔪

minish cap link- 🍀

Lucy- 👁️

Vaati- 🦇

nimbit- 🐾

(sys tags will be <EMOJI> speaks!)

[luminantrondo]

4, 5, 14, and 15. (I don't know if I sent this or not, my memory is spotty. If I did send something before, ignore it.)

(nah, didn't send smth in before, no worries. Thank you for sending these ones in!)

tales ask meme

4. something you wish to see in future games

Another female protagonist would be cool, esp if they kept her girly but still kicked ass (like Zelda in Echoes of Wisdom lol). I'd also like some interesting antagonists that aren't 1-dimensional like Ve//speria and Ze//stiria's.

5. something you hope never is used again in future games

The Arise-style skits (wtf is this, a comic book?), a "main couple + pair the spares" (...again, Arise), and no Tales traitor. That trope is so overdone and sucks, tbh.

15. a side quest that stuck with you

I have one for Vespy, Abyss, and Symphonia. For Vesperia, it has to be the brionac quest + Hermes' notes. It's the closest we get to Judith lore (in the game) and Judith & Rita's relationship is well done. I also liked the Sword Dancer one, too, if only to see Flynn lose his cool a bit. For Abyss, I like the Tear's pendant side quest, and I remember farming the last bit of Gald just to get it back. If you know me, you know I don't ship these two together, but I think their relationship and how it naturally grows is one of the best in the series. It's so sweet of Luke and a huge change from how he was in Act 1. For Symphonia, it's the Virginia Sage one, where Raine and Genis find their mother again. The voice acting in the scene (in English) is phenomenal, it really caps off Raine's conflict (even humanizes her more), and there's a sweet follow-up skit between her and Genis. I rambled about this scene in a previous post of mine, so I'll spare you my babbling lol...

14. an unpopular opinion

(lmfao. i have so many that i could make it its own post... but i'll go with the one that's been on my mind lately.) (i got wordy, rip)

Flynn Scifo was not a "bully" to Yuri in the beginning.

A large chunk of fandom (or maybe early fandom and isn't so prevalent now) think he was a bully to Yuri in Act 1, "harassing" him to rejoin the knights. In all the pointing fingers at Flynn, I never see anyone look at Yuri or try to see it from Flynn's POV. I know it's because Yuri's more popular and because he's the main character. But Flynn has a point when he calls out Yuri in Capua Nor (or was it Torim? Idfk). What has Yuri changed since he quit the knights? All he's done is sat around in the lower quarter since he left. Yeah, he doesn't know what to do because the knights was basically the "dream job"/ticket in to enact change. But Flynn's right. The reason Flynn keeps asking him to rejoin the knights is because that's what they planned on doing to change the world. To Flynn, Yuri walked out on their hard work, so he's understandably bitter, too. In fact, this is exactly why things are so rocky between them at the start of the game. I also have to wonder if it's a translation thing, too, because I'm aware a lot of lines were rephrased to make Yuri sound more aggressive at parts and Flynn sound more... demanding (referring to Nordopolica scene), for lack of better wording. And before you ask, I can read and understand Japanese, so it's not a "he said, she said" scenario. I think the reason everyone calls Flynn a bully is because he not only succeeded in his dream, but he doesn't beat around the bush when talking to people. Like Judith, whose bluntness people are more aware of, Flynn's blunt. He tells it like it is, and that's probably because he's captain of the knights...? Think back to that one event where he and Yuri stop some thieves, and the little boy that tried to help says he wants to be a knight when he grows up. Does Flynn pat his head and go "wow you were so brave"? No. He tears the fucker down by calling him out on his recklessness, saying that just because he wants to be a knight doesn't mean he will. Granted, he does bandage the wound a little when he commends the kid's courage, but the compliment doesn't come after a lecture. And lbr, no one likes being told the hard facts. No one likes being called out. I think Flynn hit a personal sore spot with the "Flynn's a bully" crowd. Yuri's not the special snowflake, depresso espresso protag that he's praised to be. He's a good character, don't get me wrong, but he's not always in the right. It's just jarring to see when it comes to the romantic side of Flynn and Yuri, there's a heavy bias for Yuri, yet Flynn somehow gets villainized in some form or another. Like the narrative molds itself around the fact that while both characters fucked up, Flynn's the bigger fuck up because in canon he's a "bully." Flynn calling him out isn't to pressure him back into the knights. The way he sees it, Yuri sits on his hands and bemoans how the rich suck ass and should stop being assholes to the poor... but he doesn't do anything about it. He just keeps getting thrown in jail for harassing the Tweedles. Flynn's basically telling Yuri to back up his words with action, and he says the knights because, again, that was the only way they thought they could change things. And no, Flynn does accept that Yuri's way of doing things is ultimately different from his own. You even have a fucking skit to showcase this (the skit where Yuri wears the knight's uniform). I honestly think the whole "rejoin the knights" by act 2/3(?) is said not in the same way it was in act 1, but more of a jest. Because by then, Flynn's seen that Yuri has made changes - more than he has. He's got no room to drag Yuri back to where he doesn't want to be, and it wouldn't make sense for his character to do so. Flynn's got a lot of issues and he's not the sweet, perfect, somft knight boy that he tricks people into thinking he is. But him being Yuri's "bully" is definitely not it, chief.

[meatmuncherlol]

RANDOM HIVE HC'S

See-more's full name is Seymour Richardson (same last name as his VA)

Billy played lots of Cops & Robbers as a kid, he always chose robbers

Billy listens to Greta Van Fleet

Jinx listens to Paramore and Evanescence

Billy sucks at math and used to cheat off See-more back at the HIVE academy

See-more often communicates to Kyd using sign language

Kyd secretly feeds stray cats from alleyways

Gizmo is a 5 year old kid genius

Billy loves horror movies and often watches with See-more

See-more's fav video game is The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past

See-more's loves baking, hates cookibg

Billy loves cooking, hates baking

Gizmo secretly sucks his thumb when he sleeps

Mammoth sleep walks

Billy loves spicy food

Jinx loves spicy food, spicy food just doesn't love her

Gizmo (break from doing crime) usually gets mistaken as a lost toddler and gets sent to a daycare

See-more loves seafood

See-more is taller than Billy and Billy won't accept it

Billy's favorite actor is Adam Sandler, fav movie Ridiculous 6

Mammoth secretly listens to Britney Spears

Jinx gossips with Mammoth

Gizmo has little kid tantrums

Kyd loves cats

See-more, Kyd, and Billy are pranking pals

Billy loves to read comics

Kyd is allergic to peanut butter

Billy loves to go fishing and boat trips

They have an event every Friday called "Movie Night"

See-more has gap teeth (quite canon, but in some scenes in TTG, its either gone or on the side)

Gizmo secretly spies on Jinx and Cyborg's dates

Jinx has a "KEEP OUT" sign on her bedroom door

Mammoth will literally eat anything

Jinx drools in her sleep and she keeps denying it

Kyd and Jinx go to Hot Topic sometimes

Billy loves fireworks (canon but I don't see ppl talking bout it)

Jinx sends cat memes to Cyborg at 2 in the morning

Gizmo will bite, literally.

Billy plays Monopoly with himself (AKA his clones) and the original ends up losing everytime

Jinx, See-more, and Mammoth watch drama shows

See-more surprisingly gives great dating advices for dudes

Billy gives a thumbs up to any positive thing, he does that a lot

See-more usually does drawings for Jinx

Kyd likes bugs, he thinks they're interesting yet creepy

Billy does the "that's what she said" jokes often, everyone finds it annoying

[zarvasace]

Instead of questions from the list, I want to ask you: from the AUs/LU fics/FSA fics you've written, who are your favorite characters you've written in those fics? And feel free to explain why if you'd like to do so, I am very curious and love your writing ^u^

If we're going with specific versions of the characters, I think these are some of my favorites:

• Wild in incandescently happy: I don't write Wild a lot, but I love how he's intelligent in this one, in addition to his gremlin tendencies.

• Hyrule in Loftwings Stand for Freedom: this is a heavier story, one that I haven't written more of yet didn't expand upon, but, well. I slipped in a lot of my personal philosophy about happiness and anger, in that it's a choice.

"Maybe some people who participate in the whole thing don't deserve forgiveness, but I'm happier when I forgive. I won't forget, and I want justice to take care of them, but I won't let them take up all my emotional energy by always being angry." ... "Why choose anger over happiness?"

• Wind in Marvelous Misadventures: he's optimistic, nosy, and way too observant for his own good.

• Wind in 1931 (the vampire AU): there's just something about a stupid immortal 14-year-old who can be really dang scary when he wants to be :)

• Red, Vio, Green, and Blue in Stern destiny has seal'd my doom (another vampire AU): they used to be monster-hunting knights, with all the skills that implied, until they became vampires. They moved to an abandoned castle and started bringing order to a town, all while struggling with morality questions and foreign predator instincts. It's just so yummy. (anonymity on AO3 wrote a related work about Red that I really really love. It's called Stay your hand, love, and it's a bit heavy so watch tags :)

• FS Zelda in 'tis unusual care (sequel to above): you can tell she cares so much in this one. I tend to write her as a rather feisty individual, but she understands the world around her deeply and backs up her words with actions.

• Shadow in Consciousness (in the BotW AU): he's a creation of the Yiga/Vaati in this one, so he's new to... well, personhood. He's figuring it out, and he's already a dramatic little rebel.

• Blue in Through the Wires: this is a dumb lil sci-fi AU. I don't think I write from Blue's perspective a lot, and this version of him is extra-protective and determined.

• Four in what is a stump supposed to do?: my blog title isn't Blatant Four Swords Favoritism for nothing, but Four is a fascinating character beyond being the Four Swords Link. This fic makes him a Minish by birth, which I really need to do something else with, because it's great.

• Four in Shatterproof (disability AU): he has paraparesis, which isn't what I have, but my experiences with mobility etc were closest to what Four experiences, out of all the disability AU. I often find myself going to this version of him when I'm having Feelings.

Ummm I'll stop there, I could probably keep going. I mean, I write about characters I love in situations that speak to me (we're gonna exclude most of the whump memes for now XD) so I could probably name every single instance of every single character and tell you why I love them.

[thekuraning]

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

[amiharana]

Hi it's the Slate anon again um. I love your posts on botw modern AUs just imagining all the antics they would get into. You know they would all have a group chat together, Urbosa writes with proper punctuation and everything, every one of Zelda's messages is programmed to sign with "Her Royal Highness Zelda Bosphoramus Hyrule CCLXXVII" and Daruk writes every single thing in all caps. Link as quiet as he is means every time they see "Link is typing..." it's a national event (and it ends up being "ok" or "🫡")

Daruk would have a long distance game night every week for a "bonding session" but an hour each time is spent in him figuring out how to turn on the camera for the video call. Mipha invites Zelda, Revali and link to her animal crossing island and Zelda does nothing but fill the museum with animals while revali spends an embarrassing amount of time decorating the island. A Mario kart session nearly led to the murder of multiple champions

HI SLATE ANON 🥺🤍 IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK!! and i'm glad to hear you like the modern aus!! imagining what the champions w zelda and link would be like in a modern au brings me much joy

zelda's signature LMFAOOO i bet she started off with just "—Zelda" and then kept adding shit until it was ridiculously long and she just keeps adding stuff it to the point where if she just sends the word "hi" her signature is 99% of the message. daruk absolutely types in all caps and he tries to use slang words but it's a hit or miss he's very much the How Do You Do Fellow Kids? meme. i agree w link being quiet in the chat, but i'm torn between him being online often and just lurking silently + reacting to messages with emojis or him constantly having his phone on do not disturb, low brightness, and <10% battery all the time 😭😭 the gang buys him chargers but he always somehow breaks them ksjhdfjkd

the idea of the champions having a game night over like a discord call or something is so fuckign cute im cryingfhgjk it doesn't matter what the game is, revali is going to end up being ridiculously competitive and try to win every single time. link effortlessly beats him every time tho LMAOKDJFHDKJF zelda link and revali playing animal crossing together 🥺🥺🥺 link lowkey be tearing up zelda's island and steals all her fruit though LOL

this kinda made me think of a twitch streamers au 😄 i think zelda would be like a just talking/variety streamer like think pokimane or valkyrae; mipha would play games like animal crossing or stardew valley, but then randomly do a fortnite stream but the thing is she would fucking slay at it????? 😭 i feel like urbosa would play a lot of horror games like dead by daylight, resident evil etc. me personally i can't handle horror so props to urbosa bc it doesn't faze her at all whatsoever

i'm not sure what daruk would stream? would he even be able to get his setup together like he lowkey gives me the same vibes as the one time snoop dogg did a stream and forgot to log off so the live was just on for like 12 hours or something LMAO. now revali and link....... they are The Streamers Ever. i think they're both variety streamers but also like speedrunner rivals and also revali would speedrun elden ring and link would speedrun super mario odyssey

imagining the champions+zelda getting brought together by like . fuckin, idk someone doing love or host (hestu but he's the austinshow KJDHFDJKH) and the dynamic between them all is just so good they end up somehow becoming a stream team :] the champions+zelda playing jackbox or among us together :> revali losing his shit when he gets killed but also being the most efficient murderer and so is link so they kill everyone else in the game Quick Asf 😳 revalink have a "We are a good team" klance moment LOL......

imagine the champions having a minecraft server that they stream on and it's called the CSMP (Champions SMP). zelda has admin perms and revali is always asking for admin too claiming that he's the second most responsible person on the team, and to prove a point, zelda then gives admin to urbosa much to revali's chagrin. while this is all happening, daruk is still learning the wasd keys and trying to move and link is already in the nether #SpeedrunnerLife! mipha is 1000 blocks away swimming with dolphins and finds a sunken ship with treasure :> they eventually add the descendants to the SMP too, and impa and rhoam make special appearances on link and zelda's streams!

i highkey love this au 😭🤍

[thehydromancer]

Lordship at Last; A Scrub's Tale

After 268 hours (I know) and 173 levels (I KNOW), I finally cleared my first Elden Ring run. I... love it. It took me a long time to realize exactly why, but when it hit me it made perfect sense. The whole game is the Water Temple. I don't think I need to explain that to anyone. A simple statement, but the more you think about it, the implications are layered and sublime. I vaguely recall an ancient game mag interview with some dev or another who, when asked what his dream project would be, described a grittier Zelda with more subtle storytelling and more interesting uses in combat for traditional equipment such as the hookshot. I remember loving the concept, and later Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom. Elden Ring though feels like the logical conclusion to exploring the freedom and flexibility of modern fantasy adventure games, the masterpiece bookend to the world of possibilities that the OG NES Zelda began to reveal to us.

And what a journey its been. My first Souls-like game, starting out as a bandit named Torrent (IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THE GAME {I THOUGHT} ADDRESSED MY CHARACTER BY NAME IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES!!!), not understanding how shields worked, and grossly under leveling vigor (hell finished with only 40 before hearing after the fact that 60 is typically the goal). Dying to the lake side ruins bats again. And again. And again. Standing in the Church of Elleh thinking I was safe, studying the Limgrave Tree Sentinel with my shiny new telescope, only for it to drop the walls on me. Not understanding how elemental damages work till the last 3rd of the game. Breezing through some bosses only to be kneecapped physically and spiritually again and again by a pair of mangy mutts, cocaine bear, biblically accurate angel bubbles, or simply a zombie holding a torch causally away from their body. Spending the first half of the game dying in numbers that would make Rosus himself say 'hey slow down there partner, thanks for putting my kids through Raya Lucaria with all those runes you lost, but I really need a break.' Forgetting I'd picked up the crystal tear for cleansing during the Mohg fight, instead trying everything up to and including Law of Regression to clear the triple ring status effect during the fight.

Ever so slowly, painfully, learning the ins and outs of the game. Slowly morphing from a dex curved sword user with throwing knives and a bow to a mage knight desperately cheesing his way through the last 60 hours of the game. SO. MUCH. BACKTRACKING. I must have revisited Stormveil over the course of 100 hours, finding something new every time. Exploring every nook and cranny in the world, scrapping runes together as hard as I could in the early game, only to be shocked at how easy leveling became in the second half of the game. Hosting tryouts for every Spirit Ashes like I was assembling the outer-gods-damned Avengers to fight Thanos wielding the Elden Gauntlet. ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLING UPON DRAGON ELDEN LORD, WHOOPS SORRY SIR(S?) DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOUR ETERNAL TIMELESS SLUMBER! In the end, somehow, managing to defeat all demigods and I'd guess 95% of the bosses in the game. I know I missed a few, and there was 3 or 4 I purposefully decided to ignore for my own sanity (if Blaidd had been half red wolf he'd of been the next Elden Lord I swear).

Bosses that gave me the greatest trouble at the time;

Margit (pretty sure we killed each other at the same time, so I never got his runes)

Godrick (I'd like to think it'd be a different story now that I've developed some skill and muscle memory but boy was this a grind)

Dragon Tree Sentinel guarding Lyndell (probably over 50 deaths, just the worst, only read about the additional summons later!)

The Elden Beast (how do pure melee builds beat this guy!? I had trouble keeping up with it using various ranged spells, the opportunities to stab it felt few and far inbetween)

Bosses that I was shocked at how easy they were based on memes/carbot/the community;

Radahn (only demigod I beat my first time, still an awesome battle)

Placidusax (one of the most enjoyable fights in hindsight, really felt like I was hitting my stride with the ebb and flow of battle finally)

Malenia, Blade of Miquella (in fairness was probably grossly over leveled by this point, downed in 3 or 4 attempts)

Radagon (the cheese was real but I was also serving it)

Special shout out to the meteorite staff and rock sling spell, the true MVPs of my run and the breakers of bosses, especially dragons. The carian knight sword and grandeur skill had an incredible run until I was able to nab the Sword of Night and Flame, and eventually the Dark Moon Greatsword itself, fulfilling my transformation into Fierce Deity Tarnished. Loretta's War Sickle was surprisingly fun as well for non boss fights.

As I look ahead to the DLC and meander/experiment through a NG+ or 3 while I wait, I can't help but wonder, probably a true dark horse theory... are we, the Tarnished, in some way, shape, or form... Miquella? Why would Malenia, instead of seeking him out to rescue her beloved brother, wait for him in the one place she knows he isn't... convinced he'd return... when it was I, Tarnished, all along who returned? Silly I know. But Torrent (I hate that I have to specify this, the horse) also reacted to Torrent (the Tarnished) in a way that felt more meaningful the second time around after having experienced most of the story. Why would Melina choose us (assuming we were her only attempt) over all others? Did she even truly know?

Alright that was a lot. I wish I'd kept a running journal of my play through, there was just so much wonder and discovery. I look forward to picking up Bloodborne and Lies of P to continue feeding my new addiction!