#i just wish i could do that kinda thing without getting restraints and drugs used on me yknow?

[feralthembo]

imagine if you could choose to check yourself into a psychiatric ward for an amount of time you choose for free and it wasnt just a carceral thing but like. a medical establishment meant to care for people.

[sargentr]

my fave drarry fics of all time, part one

so, after discovering i’ve officially been reading drarry fanfic for 4 years now, i decided to show my (quite big) list of favorite drarry fics. there are 46 in total, but i’ve listed 10 down below. the first three are my absolute favorites but the rest are equally as good

most of my notes are fresh from when i wrote them post-reading. i’ve changed some, seeming less like a crazy unstable bitch, but fuck these were all emotional as fuck. enjoy

ps: i dont really know how to tag people i dont follow. i cant try and tag the authors later. soz!!

pps: most of these i read when i was really into a bottom!draco phase, so most of them contain that, some are switch tho (as it should be, yikes past me)

1. Everything That Happen is From Now On / ~43K 

After surviving a brutal assault, Draco tries to navigate the tumultuous waters of his mind, and embrace a bit of love and trust in his life. After all, the smallest steps forward can begin to heal the most fractured of souls

okay so before i get in to how beautiful this story is, i wanna say that it does touch on rape quite explicitly. i cried like an idiot reading the entire thing, because draco’s pain is navigated in the most beautiful and realistic way. it touches on a subject very risky for me, very personal, and i still can’t think of a better drarry story. draco’s very draco about it all, and harry is very harry about it all. it’s just perfect, and messy, and tender, and sad. i’ve reread it more than any other fic, and it doesn’t disappoint. 

2. Pocket Full of Starlight / ~46K

When Scorpius Malfoy and Jamie Potter meet at Quidditch camp, they take an instant dislike to each other. Then they discover their lives are more connected than they could possibly imagine.

ah yes. the magic of kid fics. the TASTE

parent trap au. i read this one recently, like 3 months back, and absolutely fell in love with everything about it, partially because the parent trap is legit one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time. its just. the essence, the IDEA, is soooo mf beautiful. i cant get enough of reading when harry or draco finally meet the other twin, or how they cant stop loving each other even after 11 years. my heart clenched throughout the whole thing. 

3. Temptations on the Warfront / ~180K

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes. 

this was the first drarry fic ive ever read, and before this mf i HATEDDD this pairing. so you can imagine how much it took to convince me otherwise, bc i was 100% scorbus before this.

to be fair, horcrux hunting with draco involved is, possibly, my favorite trope ever. its unique. theres tension, both sexual and life threatening. in some ways it romanticizes the war, but fuck it it aint a real war. 

slowest of burns. amazing. life changing. long as hell. nothing else to be said except read it right now i demand it.

4. Clouding the Senses / ~58K

As everyone returns to Hogwarts for a final eighth year, some people are coping better with the aftermath of the war than others. After encountering a very drunk Draco Malfoy one night, Harry realises that maybe those that lost loved ones aren’t the only ones trying to escape the war. Blaise Zabini seems to think Harry can help Malfoy, that the Slytherin might actually listen to him. Harry is not so sure. Dependence is a tricky thing, and one addiction can quickly shift to another.

everyone that reads drarry loves 8th year fics, but this ones just kinda different from all those normal (yet entertaining) ones. draco’s an alcoholic in this, and one night harry tries to help him and whoops, one thing leads to the other and they start having casual sex. its really, really amazing how both draco and harry navigate the addiction, i really cant say it has any flaws. 

i know the author got a lot of hate on their fics and thats why they took them down, but they’re truly one of the best drarry authors out there. i’ve reread this a couple of times, and the tenderness, the love and confusion is all very on character. a+

5. Restraint / ~153K

Someone casts the Imperius curse on Draco Malfoy, and whatever the instructions may be, Harry finds himself an unwilling target. The encounter leaves him torn between pleasure and revulsion. As they fight in the aftermath, a tense game begins. Harry fights to convince Malfoy, and himself, that he was not affected by that initial encounter, or any of those following it.

Faced with a series of escalating encounters, Harry must come to terms with desiring things he never thought he could, things he wishes he didn’t respond to. They each use signs of arousal as weapons against each other in a mad struggle to finally shame the other into backing down for good. 

But it’s only after the game is over that Harry starts to understand.

this is by the same author of clouding the senses, and i read this just this week. at first, it’s shocking, because it plays around with consent in a very unsettling way. when communication comes in, and its starts getting healthier, you can really understand where the author found the idea of playing with consent. it is, in my opinion, 100% characteristic of how they would behave post-war, with that grief and confusion. it’s also dom/sub in some parts, and that’s mf hot. 

it also has my favorite tropes in it, but it’s a spoiler to say which one. i’ll probably mention the trope in the list along with a bunch others, but when u finish reading you’ll know which one ;)

6. Humbug / ~30K

Draco has been taking his casual relationship with Harry for granted. Visits from four key ghosts the night before Christmas just might shake up his priorities in life.

(felt like it was valid to just paste what i wrote in my notes app after reading this)

(FUCKKKKKK HOW TO EVEN START?!!!?? just a fucking bonus, draco is THE best bottom o ever exist i love my bottom son so much. this story isnt only amazing it’s excruciatingly painful to read, harry and draco have been sleeping together but harry is completely in love with him. draco doesnt see how much harry cares for him or how much hes hurting harry by treating their fling like its just that, a FLING. with that, draco is haunted by three ghosts. one of the past, the present and the future, AND THEY SET THAT IDIOT STRAIGHTTTT 1800000/10. the gays DO KEEP MF WINNING!!!

7. in your arms, rests my world / ~24K

Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy's forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.

“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”

the friends with benefits trope doesnt ever disappoint, top 5 tropes fr, especially if its also 8th year. harry and draco get into their little thing, but of course nothing ever is simple between them. by the preview, you can clearly see how much draco likes harry (also another 10/10 trope, the ‘i’ve been in love with harry potter since i was 11′ one). my only tiny issue with this is that harry fucks it up just a tad, but it of course adds up to the drama of it all, which i absolutely love.

noting it also touches on non-con/rape and, and all in all, is extremely angsty. one i was tense from beginning to end. but i am gonna say it ends amazingly and v happily.

8. Playing the Hero / ~29K

Nobody kissed me like Harry did. He kissed like he flew; he kissed like he duelled - with his whole being, not caring about anything else. I had never felt as vulnerable as I did when he kissed me, seizing all and any control I had over myself. But when Harry kissed me, I felt free...

so the thing about angst is that it ignites that mf feeling side u that even tho it hurts you cannot get enough of. this fic was EVERYTHINGGG. it made cry and laugh and smile. also another trope i absolutely adore is them breaking up and not being 100% ok with that, bc ding ding!! YALL STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!! 

i cant describe how i felt, honestly. i would just paste my notes (i wont bc spoilers) but it looks like i went thru sum shit. deadass

9. fine i’ll hold my breath / till i forget it’s complicated  / ~ 15K with the two parts

Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.

u know, fluff is a drug. i dont know if its beucase 90% of drarry fics are about angsty get-togethers, but i had butterflies in my stomach when i read this. its adorable. draco is so clearly in love, he jusT SMILES A LOT I CANTTT. 

its cute. i love it to death. have some fluff before starting your day.

10. Un Noël très parisien / ~14K

When Draco crossed paths with Auror Potter at a political function in Paris, he was not expecting their former animosity to change into something rather more intriguing. But he could be certain their casual flirtation would not last more than the night, couldn't he?

look. i know i named a lot of my favorite tropes here, but i cant end this without mentioning how much single dad draco affects me. i love scorpius and how much he changes draco in every fic he appears. i love parent draco and i shant be silent about it (especially when scorpius is legit just a year old in this. i died)

as it states, harry and draco have a one night stand but draco thinks thats it, that it was all he was ever gonna have. he’s wrong of course, and the path it takes, with both scorpius and harry there, just melted my mf heart.

well kids that’s all i have for now. imma work on a part two with 10 other fics i really love!1

[theperksofbeingbarbie]

Candy and Favors - One Shot

Summary: Diego Hargreeves is a vigilante with a hero complex. You are the police captain’s administrative assistant with your finger on the pulse. If anyone can get Diego what he wants, it would be you. 

WARNINGS: Kidnapping; Torture; Mentions of blood; Language

Word count: 2k

Paring: Diego/Reader

A/N: I know I said I wouldn’t update until tomorrow but I had this idea rolling around in my head and had to write it. Part 4 of Empath will be up tomorrow and will hopefully be better than Part 3. I don’t think I was in the right groove and it didn’t end up as good as Part 1 and 2. Requests are open if you are so inclined. After having my writing be so private, I’m really enjoying sharing it all with you guys. I might start dabbling in other fandoms too. Maruaders, anyone? 

♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡

I hummed softly under my breath as I got lost in the rhythmic clicking of my typewriter. There was something so soothing in the act of typing. The keys reacting to my fingers, the hammers coming up to stamp the page with my words, the calming rolling sound that came from the machine as it moved the page in time with my thoughts. I was completely engrossed in drafting a press release when I heard someone say my name so sweetly. The second time I heard it, I was pulled out of my trance and back into reality: still at my desk in front of the police captain’s office. 

The third time I heard my name, it finally dawned on me who was saying it. “Detective Patch is at a drug bust, Mr. Hargreeves. You’ll have to come back later,” I said, not deigning him worthy to even look up from my work as I went back to typing. 

“Mr. Hargreeves, is it now? C’mon, [Y/N], you know you can use my first name. Or any name you wanna call me, really.” 

I didn’t have to look up to know he had that shit eating grin plastered on his face, probably leaning against a desk as he watched me. I chose to continue ignoring him in favor of my work, until there was a box of my favorite candy dropped next to my typewriter. My typing stopped suddenly, looking over at the box before finally looking up at Diego. Judging from the amused smirk on his lips, the confusion I was feeling translated to my face. 

“Thought I’d just say hello to my favorite administrative assistant,” Diego said with an air of innocence, leaning forward with his hands on the edge of my desk. I rolled my eyes, tossing the box into my desk drawer before leaning forward on my elbows, looking up at the vigilante that only brought trouble. “I’m not getting you any files or evidence. But thank you for the candy, Diego.” I returned his sickeningly sweet smile before sitting back in my chair to look over the document I was drafting. 

Diego groaned, dropping the act once I had called him out. “[Y/N],” he began, running a hand over his face, looking over his shoulder at the detectives to gauge if they were listening. “C’mon, there’s a real creep out on the street and I think I can help.” 

“Then why don’t you tell Detective Patch what you know so she can, I don’t know, do her actual job?” I suggested, holding up my hand as if I were presenting the solution up to him. 

“She’s not listening to me.”

“Shocker,” I replied dryly, pulling out my pen to make corrections.  

I had always been fond of Eudora since starting as the captain’s assistant. She was one of the few people on the force that realized I was still an important cog in the machine despite being a civilian. I knew every single officer, went to meetings with the captain, wrote press releases, logged case files. With damn near unlimited security clearance there wasn’t much that went on in the precinct and the city that I didn’t know about. The other person who realized this? Diego Hargreeves. 

Through my friendship with Eudora, it wasn’t long until I heard his story. The cocky, arrogant asshole in all black and covered in knives had a good heart, but hated rules. Raised to be a super hero, he still wanted to save people but couldn’t handle being a proper cop. That’s where the Bat Suit came in. She had warned me quickly not to fall for his flirting, he would only be doing it to get what he wanted. I would never admit it, but it was hard to not back. You would have to be dead to not see how handsome Diego was. He was charming, funny, and kind. He was kinda perfect other than that whole, ‘I throw knives at bad guys and then dash off into the night’ thing. 

“[Y/N],” Diego pleaded. 

“I said no, De.” I slammed my pen down on my desk, glaring up at the man. “I’m not losing my job because you wanna play hero. You should go.” 

Diego stared into my eyes for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out how serious I was. When he determined I wasn’t in the mood for his game, he stood up straight, letting out a sharp exhale through his nose. “What time do you get out tonight?” he asked softly, shoving his hands into his pockets.  

“Excuse me?” 

“You walk home, right?” Diego didn’t really wait for an answer. “You match the description of girls this guy is going after. I’d feel better if you let me walk you home.” 

I softened a bit at the sentiment, but part of me wondered if this was some type of ploy to get what he wanted in the end. “I’ll be fine, Diego. I don’t live that far.” Diego shook his head and left without another word. 

------------------------

“Goodnight, guys! Great job today!” I called, waving at the detectives who were still finishing their paperwork after such a large bust. It was later in the evening than I usually left after work, but it was worth it to help the detectives file their arrest reports to help make sure they got to go home at a semi-decent hour. Humming a song I had heard on the radio earlier I started my trip home, opening the box of candy Diego bought me. If only he would buy me things because he actually likes me, I thought to myself, popping a piece into my mouth. I was so caught in my thoughts that I barely heard someone shuffle out of the alleyway. Suddenly there was someone behind me, their arm around my shoulders, and a rag on my face. I only remembered a sweet chemical smell filling my senses before passing out.

-------------------------

“Oh good, you’re awake,” was the first thing I heard as I started to come to. Slowly the world around me started to come into focus. I was tied to a chair by rope that was digging into my skin, every movement making the raw scratching feeling worse. There was duct tape on my mouth, pulling on skin as I tried to cry out. The room was damp, cold, and dark, my eyes still taking a while to adjust as I blinked the drug induced sleep out of them. 

“Relax, beautiful,” the voice said, a false sincerity dripping off every word like it was coated in a thick layer of syrup. I finally managed to look down to see the man had changed my clothes. No longer in a button down and dress pants, I was in a form fitting dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. I strained against my restraints, suddenly wishing I would’ve just let Diego walk me home.  

“No, no, no. I told you to relax,” the voice said more forcefully. I just heard a crackle of electricity when a tazer was pressed to my chest, causing me to cry out in pain. “If you’re going to be a bad girl, I’m going to punish you,” the voice whispered against my ear, causing me to whimper. He brushed my hair back out of my face, kissing my cheek. I tried pulling away but that just earned me another shock to my chest. “What did I just say?” he growled, pulling my hair to force me to look at him. “Be a good girl for me. That’s all I want, a good girl.” He smiled fondly, running his knuckle down my cheek parallel to the tears that had just fallen. “I’m going to take the tape off and you’re going to be good. Okay?” 

I winced as the tape pulled from my skin, taking a moment to wiggle my nose and mouth to dissipate the feeling. “Fuck you,” I snapped, spitting in the man’s face. 

He wiped his face slowly, clearly displeased with my actions. “I thought,” he snarled, recoiling to punch me in the face. “I asked you.” Another. “To be good!” He finished with a shock to the chest, this one much longer than the previous two. 

My head lolled forward, tears mixing with the blood on my face. I watched both drip onto the dress provided for me, silently praying to any deity that someone would find me. I barely registered the man saying he would be right back, groaning as he placed another piece of tape on my mouth before going up a staircase in the corner.

I managed to pick my head up when I heard glass break upstairs. There was a struggle, a bit of yelling and then… Silence. My heart stopped when I heard heavy footsteps begin again. It felt like an eternity for whoever it was to reach the basement door. “[Y/N]?”

Diego! I made noises the best that I could with my mouth taped shut, my silent tears turning to full blown sobbing when I finally saw him. He made quick work of my restraints, cupping my cheek before pulling the tape off. “I’m sorry,” was the first thing out of my mouth, throwing my arms around his neck. 

Diego wrapped his arms tightly around my middle, refusing to let go. “Y-y-you don’t h-have to be… s-s-sorry,” he whispered, gently rubbing my back. He pulled back to look at my face, resting his forehead against mine. In that moment, I could see that he actually did care, more than just a normal victim. Diego was afraid of losing me, and not just because I had access to case files. I decided to focus on Diego instead of the pain as I returned my face to the crook of his neck. The feel of his stubble against my cheek, the smell of leather and aftershave, how warm and strong he felt.  

Diego stayed holding me until Eudora made her way into the basement. Judging from the nods they gave each other, he called her and made a plan to leave undetected. I smiled when he placed a kiss on the top of my head, watching as he slipped back out of the house. 

--------------------------

I didn’t see Diego until the next evening. As I was leaving the hospital, I saw him leaning against his car, a new box of candy and a stuffed bear beside him on the hood. “I sincerely hope that’s for me and you don’t just buy every girl the same box,” I teased, smiling brightly when I caught his attention.  

“Oh, this? I was mostly pissed off that the last box ended up scattered on the street and that my favorite admin assistant didn’t get to finish.” Diego returned the bright smile, opening his arms for a hug.  

“Thank you. For everything,” I mumbled into his chest, relaxing against him. Diego didn’t say anything in response, just held me close like he did that night. He still felt safe and warm, instantly bringing me comfort. 

“C’mon. My family wants to meet you and my mom is making enough dinner for eight,” Diego announced, rubbing your back before letting go. 

“You told your family about me?” I asked, taking my gifts off the hood of the car. 

“Well, they don’t believe I actually ever save anyone so...” 

“Oh, so this is just to boost your ego, not a date?” 

Diego blushed, opening the car door for you. “I-i was k-k-kinda h-hoping b-both?” He winced at his stutter, blushing even more when you giggled.  

“Both, then.” I placed my hand over the one he had on the top of door, standing on my tip toes to leave a gentle kiss to his lips. “Though you really don’t need a bigger ego,” I teased, finishing sliding into the passenger seat. I saw Diego smirk when he closed the door for me, clearly pleased that I wasn’t freaked out by the idea of meeting his insane family. I smiled down at the bear in my lap, wishing that this relationship had started out in a normal way, but happy I had someone in my corner.

[konkyatto]

Arphaxad Fallen

I saw a hc and kinda losely ran with it. I'll get back to Ineffable Husbands tomorrow, promise.

Hastur was once an angel, as were the other demons, but he and Crowley were not so different once. Hastur resented Crowley for falling and dragging him down as well.

Gabriel may have wiped Crowley's memories, but Hastur remembered everything. He remembered that Crowley was once Archangel Raphael, and as an angel, he served under Raphael. 

Hastur never spoke his other name, it hurt him both emotionally and physically, but he never forgot it.

Arphaxad, a minor angel of healing, was taught by Raphael. However crude his methods were, he followed in Raphael's steps, always helping and doing what he could.

Whatever Raphael did, Arphaxad copied. He was an overachiever, the student who wanted to be exactly like the teacher, to be better. 

The Archangel Raphael could completely heal creatures of all their ailments, whereas Arphaxad could only help when it came to physical wounds. 

He wasn't sure why, but his fire stopped wounds from bleeding and the creatures he could control only ate what was no longer needed, what was already dead.

When Raphael started asking questions, Arphaxad went searching for the answers himself. When Raphael fell, Arphaxad followed soon after.

Arphaxad was a young angel when he fell, confused, alone, and easy to imprint. He couldn't find the only one he knew. He was scared of the fire, it wasn't his fire and it burned everything, his mind was singed and his wings were blackened and broken. Arphaxad was truly afraid for the first time, he couldn't call out to Raphael, it hurt to think his name, it was agony to try to speak it.

Wherever he was, it was dark, cold and hot at the same time. It felt like hatred, disdain, and pain, all things wrong to one who was once of love, acceptance, and healing. Arphaxad crawled to the only thing he could see, a gray wall covered in scratches and what appeared to be tally-marks in black blood.

The black blood was foreign to Arphaxad, as an angel he was only ever exposed to the golden blood of angels and red blood of mortal creatures. It smelled wrong, it smelled of charred hopes and shattered dreams.

Arphaxad could feel a weight on his back, he knew it was his wings, but he couldn't feel the extent of the damage the fire caused. The pain was everywhere, overloading his system, then the pain was nowhere. Arphaxad couldn't heal himself, nothing was bleeding, and even if it were he couldn't bring himself to use his own fire to stop it.

Two days went by and Arphaxad hadn't moved from his kneeling position next to the wall, one hand braced against it. On the third day, he considered starting his own tally but settled for sitting against the wall, wings spread out and already beginning to rot away.

On the fourth day, Arphaxad's sight started to dull, making the already dark area harder to see. He buried his face in his hands and began to cry, something he'd never done before, but he was scared and alone. He couldn't say his own name, or anyone else's without it causing him more pain. So there he sat, crying, broken, and nameless.

Several more days passed, but he didn't try to count them. He was lost in his mind and couldn't tell if it had been one minute or one month since he first cried.

An orange spire flared up, blinding Arphaxad as he tried to get further away from it. Screams from the fire deafened him, they reminded him of his own. The stench of burning feathers surrounded him. 

There was quiet sobbing when the fire faded, but Arphaxad made no move to help like he used to, he blankly stared at the new figure.

The new figure tried to speak, to call out for help.

“I-I’m here too.” Arphaxad managed to say after what felt like an eternity. His voice was raspy, unused and dying already.

“Who-”

“I can’t, it hurts to say. I’m here, you’re not alone. I can’t tell you it will be okay because I don’t know, but you won’t be alone.”

“Where are we?” 

“Lost. We are lost, afraid, nameless, and injured. But at least we are not alone.”

“Your wings… they’re…”

“Rotting away, yes. I can’t feel them, I can’t heal them. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to heal anything again. My own creatures are eating me alive and I can’t feel it.” Arphaxad sighed. “But that doesn’t matter, I’m never going to fly again, I can’t see like I used to.”

“You were a healer, and that’s why your wings are rotting so quickly?”

Arphaxad nodded.

“I didn’t have much of a role, not one so important anyways…”

“Then you shouldn’t have much else to worry about.”

They sat there, Arphaxad and the unknown figure, for many days. The fire never came back and the room grew only darker and colder until the couldn’t see the tips of their noses anymore. Screams echoed in the distance and the floor shook. They weren’t traped, but they were afraid to leave the place they knew.

Three weeks came and went, the screams grew more and more distant. As they sat there, they were given names. They weren’t sure how or when, but they knew they had been renamed.

Arphaxad was renamed as Hastur and the previously unknown figure was now known as Ligur. Though they could not see the changes they were going through, they could feel some of it.

“Stand.” A voice buzzed, causing the two to jump. “Come with me.”

The two nodded and pushed themselves up off the wall, blinded when a light came on in a poor attempt to show them where they were.

“Waiting on others is not something we have the patience for. You each are one of us now.”

Everything in Hastur’s sight was tinted, darker than it really was, and anything beyond 15 feet was blurred, causing him to squint. 

Beelzebub snapped and the weight on Hastur’s back disappeared, replaced by something slimy resting on his head.

“Wh-?” Ligur was cut off.

“You can summon them back, but there is no room for them to be out when you are here.” Beelzebub explained. “The animals on your heads are your wings. I have no more answers to your questions so do not ask them. Dagon will show you to your stations.”

Hastur and Ligur watched as Beelzebub walked off, leaving them with someone roughly the same height as Beelzebub.

“You are demons now, you need not be scared as you are free of Heaven’s restraints. Do not feel sorrow or longing for who you were. That version of you is dead, just as the angels who think they are better than you should be.” Dagon’s voice was much like Hastur’s, raspy and dying, but filled with hatred. “Your jobs are to catalog the other demon’s temptations. Perhaps you both will work your way to being the tempters.”

The maggots never stopped eating Hastur away but he never had more than a finger or toe missing at a time. With time he became used to the tinted vision and the frog on his head instead wings on his back. The only thing that continuously changed was his clothing, and even that was out of date.

Millennium went by and humanity advanced, more and more demons being put to fieldwork. Very few demons changed their ways of temptation with the times, Hastur was not one of them. He and Ligur preferred the old ways, such as tempting priests and corrupting politicians, to the new ones.

The most important job Hastur remembers being assigned was to take the antichrist from Hell to the main Earth based demon, Crowley, the one he wished never made it far. The one he once admired became his downfall, and he never forgave or forgot. The one who drug him through fire twice had won, and there was nothing he could do.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Matching Crazy: Part 4

Pairings: Negan x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, PTSD, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2,656

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey (Y/N).” One of the Sanctuary’s regulars, Mark said as you and Regina stood behind the bar on a slow Wednesday night. “How come you never make drinks?” You glanced over him as you restocked the back wall of liquor bottles from the stock in the back so you could be ready for the new shipment of inventory due to arrive in the morning.

“Because I don’t.” You giggled. “I haven’t been a bartender in like three years.”

“Oh, come on.” Another regular, Scott, said as he swirled his scotch on the rocks around his glass. “All bartenders have some kinda trick up their sleeve. Let’s see it.” You smirked as you looked over at the pair of gentlemen before continuing your gaze up to your co-worker.

“Hey, I showed them the bottle tossing.” She said as she added two more bottles to her side of the bar. “It’s your turn to entertain them until Dean gets ‘off work’.” You sighed as you looked at the bottle of blue Hpnotiq in your hands.

“Alright fine.” The two guys cheered and toasted their drinks as you put away the two bottles in your hands and turned toward the bar. “Now, it’s been years since I’ve done this, y’all so bear with me.” Regina smirked and shook her head as she continued to work while you set up seven shot glasses and a silver tumbler on the bar. You poured ingredients slowly, being careful not to get the first layer of grenadine on the sides of the glass and making sure that the pineapple juice was poured on a big spoon over ice.

“Alright, here we go.” You said as you topped it off with an ounce of vodka and a bit of slowly poured blue Curaçao. You grabbed a strainer and poured the layered drink out, creating a halfway decent rainbow of shots. The guys cheered loudly, as if it were the coolest thing they had ever seen and after a moment, you gathered all the shots to pour back into the tumbler to toss out.

“Y’all need to find a better form of entertainment.” You laughed as you dumped the drink down the drain and stepped over to the register to comp the contents out. You had barely tapped the screen when a shot rang out in the bar, echoing through your mind like a haunted scream. Your right shoulder lurched forward from the impact of a bullet going through your shoulder, and your head hit the edge of a close hanging shelf, violently.

“Get down!” Regina screamed as the bar filled with automatic fire, shattering the bottles on the wall and causing glass and liquor to rain down onto the bar floor. She scrambled across the floor, and tackled you to the ground so you wouldn’t be shot again as flash backs began to strangle your consciousness.

“No.” You said with a shake of your head as you held on to your shoulder. Blood pooled in your fingers as the gunshots finally stopped, but the sound of screeching tires was lost to you.

“You guys OK?” Regina called out as she grabbed a bar towel and pressed it on your shaking shoulder.

“Scott’s hit.” Mark choked out. “I think… I think he’s dead.”

“OK, (Y/N). I need you to hold this.”

“I have to go.” You said as you tried to scramble across the wood, cutting your hands on the shards of glass.

“Marine!” She shouted as she sat up just long enough to grab the bar phone. “Stay there!” You shook your head frantically, but stopped moving as Regina called Negan as fast as she could.

“Gi…” You breathed as you squished the blood drenched towel to your shoulder. “I don’t…”

“Hang in there, (Y/N).” She said through her teeth as she tried to clear a path between where she was, and where you had crawled to.

“Negan…” You gasped as your vision started to fade from blood loss. You very faintly heard him say your name before you slipped into the worst nightmare you had ever had.

——

You were trapped in the middle of hell, slipping in and out of consciousness. Every noise was a threat, calling ghosts from your past forward in your mind. Battle after battle repeated itself, no matter how many drugs the hospital gave you, and when the night terrors got to the point where you tried to rip out your IV, you had to be restrained for your own safety. Which made matters impossibly worse.

“We’re gunna have to sedate her.” You heard a doctor say as you sobbed and stared at a small, middle eastern boy holding a grenade in one had and the pin in the other through your tears.

“I want Negan!” You screamed at all four people in the room as you slowly worked your other hand free of the restraint where you wouldn’t be caught.

“OK that’s not…” Your nurse said with a shake of her head.

“Then get out!” You screamed. “Leave me alone! All of you!”

“Let’s just come back.” The nurses aid said as he took a step back toward the door. “I’ve seen PTSD like this before…”

“She’s gunna hurt herself.” The doctor tried.

“No she won’t.” The aid said as he pulled open your room door. “She’s just scared. Let her breathe for a minute. She’s had people surrounding her for the past twenty hours straight. Just give her space.” The doctor and the nurse both nodded and took a step back out of the room, leaving you alone with the figment of your imagination.

“Fuck this shit.” You said as you sat up the moment the door latched behind them. “Fuck all this.” You scrambled to take off the ankle restraints while keeping an eye on the little boy in the room, despite the fact that there was a small part of you that knew he wasn’t really there. You waited until the very last minute to pull off the heart rate monitors as you removed IV’s and downed the big glass of water on your side table before grabbing your bag of belongings, and bolting out of the second story window onto the roof of the neighboring parking garage.

——

“Where the fucking fuck is she?” Negan roared at the woman working at the front desk of the hospital only a couple hours after you bolted.

“Sir, please.” The woman said, completely terrified of the biker screaming in her face. “We don’t know. She ran…”

“She was fucking shot! And I know she was probably freaking the fuck out because I know my fucking girl!” He shouted as he pointed forcefully at her. “You should have fucking sedated her!”

“Sir, please.” She tried again.

“Sir, I’m gunna have to ask you to leave, now.” The security officer said as he daringly stepped up to Negan’s side. The biker rounded on him with a death glare.

“You better fucking hope I find my girl or all of you are in for a world of fucking hurt.” He turned quickly, and stormed out the doors past the rest of the club. “I want fucking everyone out looking for her! You don’t fucking eat, you don’t fucking sleep, you don’t even take a fucking piss until you fucking bring my girl home. She’s fucking scared and probably freaking the fuck out. Just fucking find her!” He brought his bike roaring to life and put your helmet on the seat between his thighs so it wouldn’t get lost before taking off like a bat outta hell to find his girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frozen. You were absolutely, straight through your bones, teeth rattlingly frozen, and hiding in the tube in a children’s playground. You knew you had to be close to the clubhouse but you couldn’t remember how to get there. Fear of going back to the hospital kept you from asking for help. Your whole body ached as you curled into yourself in only a pair of ripped jeans, a dry blood covered, low cut t-shirt that had a bullet hole in the shoulder, and a thin hospital gown as a blanket. 

‘You’re safe.’ You reminded yourself for the millionth time in three days as you slowly wrapped the tie of the gown around your pointer finger. ‘Safe and stateside. Negan will find you soon. Stay where you are.’ Your stomach grumbled weakly, a sound you were used to from being on the streets as long as you had been. There was nothing you could do about it, your wallet was sitting on your dresser at home.

“Hey lady.” A child’s voice said above your head as a little boy stuck his head in your hiding hole. “You OK?”

“I’m safe!” You practically screamed at him, startling him to tears. He started to sob, and ran to find his mommy as you curled up even more to hide from the gust of wind that blew through the small holes that were spaced out along the tube. You didn’t hear the mother of the little boy calling the cops about the strange, bloody woman in the park but the sound of sirens sent your hair on end.

“No.” You said with a shake of your head as you watched the flashing red and blues through the hole in front of your chest. You forced yourself to uncurl and pushed yourself past the small jolt of pain that was almost instantly numbed away in the chill to get out of the tunnel to hide. Your body ached as you carefully walked down the steps and ran as fast as you could toward the tree line surrounding the park. 

‘I won’t go back.’ You thought as you jumped up the nearest tree and started to climb away from the cops that were scrambling to get to you. ‘I won’t.’

——

Negan didn’t care that he was on the highway, he simply pulled off the road the moment he felt his phone ring in his pocket.

‘Be her.’ He growled in his head as he scrambled to get his cell from his pocket while he was still moving to the side of the road. ‘Be her, fucking be her.’

“Yea?” He snapped as he skid to a stop.

“Negan?” A man said on the other end. “Deputy Eugene Porter. I wanted to let you know a call came in just now about a woman matching (Y/N)’s…”

“Where?!” Negan roared, wishing the officer would get to the point faster.

“She’s hiding in a tube on the playground on the north side of Huntley Meadows…” Negan didn’t wait to hear the rest of the guys statement and hung up the phone to get to you before the cops could get to you first.

‘You were so fucking close baby girl.’ He thought as he pulled into traffic without looking or caring. ‘I really need to teach you this fucking town.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“G-g-go awayyy!” You screamed at the officers below you as you continued to move so they wouldn’t shoot you out of the tree (not that they would but you were sleep deprived, freezing cold, and not thinking straight.) “H-h-he’ll come for m-m-me.”

“(Y/N), get out of the tree!” Rick sighed into a megaphone like a broken record. You shook your head against the bark, further aggravating the stitches on your forehead from hitting the shelf. 

“No! I w-w-won’t go b-b-b-back! I w-want…” You stopped mid-sentence and your head whipped to the side as the distant rumble of a motorcycle on your right caught your attention. “Negan.” Without thinking about the consequences, you jumped to the tree beside you, catching the trunk at the last second, and sending pain jolting through your body. You wasted no time to recover from the shock of the impact, and jumped again.

Tree after tree, you made your way toward the parking lot, as the rumble of Negan’s bike got louder. You managed to lose your police detail in the branches, and made it to the edge as he pulled into the parking spot on the opposite end of the lot than the cop cars. You jumped out of the tree and fell to the ground as Negan threw his helmet back toward his bike and ran toward you.

“Fucking finally.” He breathed as he pulled you up to your feet and wrapped you protectively in his arms. “Thank fuck, you’re OK. I’m here. Right fucking here.” You started to sob as you hid your face in the warmth of his chest, and tried to control your shivering unsuccessfully.

“Y-you found m-me.” You chattered while trying to leach his warmth.

“Fuck, you’re like a damn ice cube.” He said as he yanked off his leather jacket, and wrapped it around your body. He rubbed your back furiously and glanced up at Rick and the other officers.

“Negan…” The deputy said with a shake of his head. “We need to take her.”

“The fuck you do!” Negan shouted as he turned his body so you were farther away from him. “What the fuck do you think you’re fucking playing at, huh? First you take her to the wrong fucking hospital after my fucking employee specifically told you where to take her. You didn’t fucking call me when I know for a fucking fact you know who she is to me. Then, I’m guessing she was put on just fucking painkillers and they obviously didn’t fucking sedate her immediately, which would have been the fucking smart treatment for someone with severe PTSD who had just been fucking shot! Which would have been fucking done if you fucking tools had taken her to the right fucking hospital!” He shook his head as he continued to rub your back while you hid your frozen ears against his chest. 

“You even fucking think I’m letting you fucking take her fucking anywhere, and you got another fucking thing coming! I fucking got her from here.” He kissed the top of your head and shook his as he turned to lead you back to the parking lot where one of the club prospects was finally pulling in with the club’s van to take you home. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s get you home.”

“C-c-c…”

“I know, sweetheart.” Negan said before you could finish as he guided you to the front seat. “We have blankets, and we’ll get you in a hot shower at home.” You nodded as he pulled open the passenger door, and helped you into the van. “Then, once you’re warm, we’ll call the damn doc to come patch you up again, OK?” You nodded and curled up on the seat as Negan buckled you in and started to wrap you in blankets. You tried to move to give him back his jacket but he caught your hands and shook his head. “You need it, baby. I’m OK.” You nodded as he gave you a tight lipped smile and zipped up the jacket before continuing to put the blankets around your body.

“I knew you’d come.” You whispered as you searched his eyes.

“Of course I came for my girl.” He said as he brushed your hair back behind your ear. He gave you a chaste kiss and looked over at the prospect. “Straight to the fucking club. You don’t fucking stop for shit. I don’t give a fuck if you have ten cops on your ass with lights and sirens, you get her back to the fucking club before you stop, you fucking hear me?” The prospect nodded and buckled his seatbelt as Negan shut the passenger door with one more glance at you. You met Rick’s eyes through the windshield and very slowly flipped him off as the van was backed out of the parking spot and left the park to go home. 

[darknessdancing]

Whirlwind Chapter Two

Hey y’all! I am finally getting chapter two up. Sorry it has taken so long. I am v forgetful and lazy! I really hope you guys like this. I am really excited for this fic and just writing it makes me happy so i hope reading it makes you guys happy! enjoy!!

warnings: kinda angsty, warning, mentions of slutting around (im looking at you xiu) smut/mentions of smut

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry love, I really did want today to be an us day, but you and I both know this can’t be ignored baby,” You cooed apologetically to Suho. Your arms were around his waist and you were standing on your tiptoes to rest your chin on his shoulder. You nuzzled the side of his face with your nose.

“I know, I know… I just wish it wasn’t this way. I was really looking forward to a day with just the two of us. It has been so long since we have had one of those,” He sighed.

“I understand,” You said sighing as well, “I love you, Junmyeon.”

He smiled at the use of his real name and turned around pulling you into his warm, welcoming arms.

“I love you too, Y/N,” He kissed you, “So much.”

You smiled brightly at him and kissed him deeply.

“As much as I love a good kiss, since it's not me, we gotta go,” Baekhyun said. Suho glared at him and bared his teeth, something Baekhyun took as a sign to leave. You giggled and shook your head.

“Come on, Daddy, let's go,” you coaxed, smacking his ass as you walked out the door.

“One more,” he said pulling you back against him, spinning you around. He kissed you lovingly.

“Alright, alright. Now we go,” You said kissing his cheek and finally walking out. You got into the main living room of the house where all of the boys were now standing.

“Alright is everyone clear on what to do? Get in get out. Should be a pretty cut and dry “steal back our drugs” type of show,” you told them while placing a gun in it’s holster on your outer thigh, beneath the holster for throwing knives. To say you were armed and dangerous was an understatement. The boys were all armed in similar fashion, each carrying more than enough protection. A symphony of ‘yes’ filled your ears, followed by the sound of soles hitting wooden flooring as everyone quietly filed to the side door.

“It’s been ages since you’ve gone on a retaliation with us, Whirlwind,” Chen teased after matching your pace, “You’re so hidden sometimes, I forget that you’re even handy with that pistol. I’d be lying if I hadn’t lost faith for a while.”

For a moment, you smiled fondly to yourself at the familiar nickname. You let it linger for a bit, even as you stepped out into the brisk air of your large garage. With Baekhyun’s head blocking your view, you could still see the shiny rims of all ten sports cars and two vans.

“I can always blow your brains out as a reminder, if that’s really what you need,” you joked casually, “And if this is what you consider a retaliation, maybe I should be losing faith in you.”

He only rolled his eyes in a playful manner in response to the small jab.

The conversation was broken up by Sehun shouting that the back of the white van was open to whoever was sitting in the large space, and that he was driving this time. You laughed and got into the driver’s seat of the black Lamborgini. You drove off, the boys following closely behind.

Your mind began to drift as you drove to the mansion of Girl’s Generation, one of your biggest enemies in this world. You couldn’t find a speck of remorse in yourself, but the constant feuding grew so tiring after a while. Now, it felt as though you were only battling so you wouldn’t have the burden of admitting to a loss. Your team only ever made an effort to strike at them when it was warranted, such as right now.

They had apparently felt threatened enough by your drug business, they wanted to steal your product and sell it as their own. Luckily, you had contacts and ways of knowing things like these.

You parked your car a few blocks from the house and went to where the boys had parked their van. After crawling through the seemingly endless brush and trees that concealed the battered heap of metal, you got in and started to run over the plan with them one final time.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were to monitor the security cameras, while Chen and Kai part ways to find where the drugs were being kept. Sehun and Kyungsoo agreed to eliminate any human threats on their way to their to-be-informed destination, and Xiumin was making sure the leaders were being kept busy, through other means of distraction. Earlier, you had made jokes of him being a prostitute for the time being, to which he only scowled.

Opposing teams or not, Kim Taeyeon and Jessica Jung had expressed quite the interest in the man, which he had offered to take advantage of, just this once.

“Of course,” he had said earlier, “I’d do it for the sake of the group, but leave it to me to be caught up fucking two dumb bitches while the real action plays out.”

You and Suho were the cleaners, the backup plan; the ones who---if something went wrong---entered and fixed the problem. You hadn’t been big on being so useless, but Kyungsoo and Xiumin had thought it best to keep the leaders away from harm in case something were to happen to them.

Directly after helping Chen and Kai to swipe all the heroin and cocaine, Kyungsoo and Sehun were to set the house ablaze; it was highly probable that something harmful may happen to anyone who fails to escape in time.

The house was surrounded by a large, electrified, black iron fence. From the comfort of the van, you watched as Xiumin simply walked up to it and pushed his finger down onto the intercom button. He spoke a greeting into the mic, followed by the fence pushing itself open.

Whereas everyone else wasn’t as welcome in the large mansion, you were forced to wait around ten minutes before approaching the fence. Within those ten minutes, Baekhyun and Chanyeol had worked together to disable the security cameras positioned atop it, making it far easier to break in.

Donning a pair of thick protective gloves and handling a pair of wire cutters, Chen easily disabled it and allowed everyone to hop over the structure.

With a swift hand motion, you coaxed Kyungsoo and Sehun to rid the team of the guards positioned in the lawn. While they crept behind massive statues and thick trees, the remainder of your group crouched in some bushes, hidden from the world.

After the signal was given that the guards were finished off, you all stealthily moved into the house. From the corners of your eyes, you could see the splattered blood of the two women who laid by the entrance. It was likely that they hadn’t felt a thing when the knife hit their throats; they had been knocked out prior.

Some of the men entered the building through side doors and some used windows. You and Suho moved cautiously moved into the living room, the area that would quickly give you access to all the others and their positions. With a bit of difficulty, you managed to close the door without any creaking sounds.

“Remember when you almost dated a Girls Gen girl?” You whispered to him quietly. Even in the darkness you saw him flinch in remembrance. You chuckled softly in response.

“Chen and Kai, it should be in a room on the third floor,” Baekhyun’s voice floated lowly through your earpiece, “Off to the left somewhere… maybe the fifth door along the hallway.”

“You and I can fuck right here, you know,” You suggested, disregarding the speech that didn’t involve either of you, “I think that’d surely make Yuri regret ever rejecting you.”

The most barely audible groan came, and you could just picture Suho biting his lip to keep from exposing your presence to the home’s residents.

“As hard as it is not to entertain your vengeful wishes, I'd rather not risk getting caught with my pants down and my cock out, Princess.”

“Found it,” came Kai’s preoccupied mumble in your ear. You heard clicking as they tried to open what sounded like a safe.

“The one time you find your self restraint...” You trailed off in a quiet, teasing tone.

“Okay,” Chanyeol interrupted through the earpiece, “Xiumin’s tracker is lighting up on the other side of the house, by the hedge statue things and back a few feet. It’s, uhhhh, moving rapidly right now, so you have until it comes to a stop to drop everything from the window. Baekhyun and I will handle everything else.”

“I’m sending Chen and Kai out as soon as possible, out through one of the side doors to help you out,” came Kyungsoo’s gruff reply, “Just let me know when Xiumin is safely out.”

For thirty quiet minutes that trickled past like grains of sand falling to the bottom of an hourglass, you sat with Suho and waited.

Nothing that was of concern to you popped up until three minutes after Xiumin had walked past you and out the front door. It had sounded like he was zipping up his jeans as he walked.

None of the women followed after him, as they were probably focused on washing themselves up.

After three minutes, you began to smell the thick clouds of smoke that had drifted down to the living room. For security, you did your best to spot Suho through the pitch darkness. The moment you’d gotten clarity that Kyungsoo and Sehun were out of the house, you two would be sprinting to safety.

“Discovered!” Chen yelled. You and Suho looked at each other and ran up the stairs to where they were.

You crouched at the entrance of the room where you could here the fight going on. Suho was crouched opposite of you, his gun loaded and cocked. You started counting backwards from three on your fingers. On one you both stood in the doorway and started shooting the men who were cornering two of your boys.

“I want everyone else to go back to the van right now,” You commanded into your earpiece.

“Yes ma’am,” They all said.

“Here’s our plan, take out whoever comes near and get back to the plan. No splitting up. Let’s go,” You said running out the door. Suddenly alarms started blaring throughout the whole house.You groaned and covered your ears.

“Someone triggered the security system,” you heard Baek say through the earpiece.

You started running through the house but metal doors were starting to slide into place. You cursed and lead the boys through more hallways being met with dead ends. You all finally found a doorway into a room with multiple windows, but the metal door was slowly sliding into place and the shouts of the Girl’s Gen men neared. You pushed Kai and Chen under and went to go push Suho.

“There’s only enough room left for one more person; you’re going,” He said pushing you. The shouting came nearer.

“No, Suho, I am not leav---” You were interrupted as he shoved you to the ground and under the door. The yells were on you and Suho. You screamed to tell Suho to dive under, but you knew there was no way he’d fit.

“I love you,” You heard him say as you watched the men surround him and tase him, bringing him to his knees in pain. You screamed out his name and fought against the door. Kai and Chen pulled you back from the door. Chen opened the window as Kai struggled to pick you up. You all escaped out the window and made it back to the van.

The atmosphere hung full-cloud heavy and pin-drop silent as everyone else present came to the shocking realization that Suho hadn’t made it out.

A deafening clatter broke the quiet into a million pieces within the three seconds it took your closed fist to come into contact with the vehicle’s cool metal and the sharp pain to set into your knuckles.

But you didn’t want to stop. As Sehun pushed his foot down onto the gas pedal and sped off, all you wanted to do was pulverize the van until your skin blossoms a blotchy plum color.

A cry left your lips. And another. And a third, until it was difficult to hear the shocked chatter that had begun to swarm around you.

“Baby,” Chanyeol started hesitantly. Your temper was like a hot iron---to be used with caution and to avoid direct contact with, “Junmyeon’s strong. He’ll hold his own.”

You didn’t feel like the iron. You felt like the burn. The use of Suho’s birth-given name was meant to sooth your visible pain, but all it did was turn the faucet to a steady stream of bitter tears.

“Oh, fuck off,” you dismissed him in a quiet mutter.

Truly, you wished you were more skilled in concealing such lethal feelings. Having seven---and occasionally eight, whenever Sehun worriedly glances through the rearview mirror---men watch you cry isn’t any fun. You think it makes you look weak, like a joke.

An arm wrapped around your shoulders. With your eyes squeezed shut so painfully tight, you could only guess which lover it was. You were too focused on dismissing the little outburst that you didn’t even attempt to. From the foresty cologne alone, you knew it was D.O. Everyone else wore less comforting fragrances; things that slightly assaulted your sense of smell.

He said nothing, but it didn’t feel as frightened as the silence everyone else gave. Everyone silent was breathing dreadfully slowly, cautiously even, like they were waiting for an explosion. D.O, however, kept his breathing at a calm, steady pace.

This was what you loved about him. He never participated in the nervous blocks of quiet, for he was already so peacefully. You both don’t need many words for your relationship to remain strong. He was a rock regardless of his infrequent speech.

“Try and go to sleep,” he murmured over the low whispers everyone else had faded into, “We’ll have planning to do later; you need to be rested enough.”

Though he only spoke of a meeting to plan things, you were certain it was about the best strategy to get Suho back.

You drifted off with that thought in mind, keeping close that single bit of comfort it provided.

[kawaiiwamine]

A♥️, 3♥️, 4♥️, 6♥️, 8♥️, 9♥️, 10♥️, Q♥️, K♥️, all of the clubs and diamonds, 2♠️, 3♠️, 5♠️, 6♠️, 7♠️, 8♠️, 9♠️, 10♠️, J♠️, Q♠️, K♠️ I'M KINDA SORRY FOR SENDING SO MANY BUT why choose if i don't really have to i'm craving that iwasweetie content,

👀 here we go

A♥️ - Who was the first person your muse ever fell in love with?

While Shuu had noticed people’s attractiveness before, the first person he ever actually crushed on was Kawara Ryuuji.

3♥️ - How would your muse react to a confession of love?

He’d be shocked, then either flatted or elated (depending on whether he reciprocates) but also a little dubious. He wouldn’t straight up call you a liar, but he would be a little bit like “Are you sure though?”

4♥️ - What are your muse’s thoughts on starting/raising a family?

Shuu likes the fantasy of Having A Family™ in the sense that it’s supposed to be a sign you have your life together. He definitely at least wants to get married. He’s not the kind of person who needs to have kids, but he’s not strictly opposed either. He’s incredibly nervous about the idea, but if you have enough confidence to make up for it and it’s important enough to you, you can probably convince him.

6♥️ - What sort of charity work has your muse done?

He has recurring donations for several charities of different kinds, enough to be a not insignificant part of his paycheck. He doesn’t live in an apartment as nice as he could technically afford and he doesn’t spend a lot on himself, so whatever is leftover after bills and savings is usually donated.

As for actual work, he’ll lend his time to just about anyone. Of course, health-related charities are closest to his heart.

8♥️ - How well does your muse perform in social situations?

Not always the best. He’s kind of an awkward ninny, and he knows it. He can actually have periods of confidence (and even... dare I say it... charisma) if he knows what he’s talking about really well. Otherwise, he’s not usually actively bad but if he starts tripping up, it will probably get worse before it gets better.

9♥️ - Has your muse ever had unrequited feelings for someone?

Oh, you betcha. Kawara Ryuuji being the most notable. Of course, Shuu never actually asked, so he assumes it was unrequited. But the sad thing is he probably wouldn’t have wanted his feelings to be returned because he wouldn’t want to be a homewrecker. Then again, that’s just what he would say now. Whether he would actually have that self-restraint in the moment is up for debate.

10♥️ - What was the last party or social event your muse went to?

A group of friends invited him with them to a party. It sounded like he was going to get laid but then everyone got fucked up on drugs and he got the hell out of dodge when they decided that throwing glassware at each other was the cool new sport.

Q♥️ - Who is someone special that your muse always thinks about?

Hitori, honestly. I know I’m HitoShuu trash but really, that guy just means so much to him.

K♥️ - Who does your muse look up to as a role model?

^^^

A♣️ - What’s your muse’s strongest talent?

He’s a smart cookie! He’s better at some subjects than others (math is his weakness, sorry Hitori) but if he puts enough effort in, he can pick things up pretty damn quick.

2♣️ - What topics of conversation does your muse enjoy the most?

If you start talking about microbiology you better be ready to be there all day because he will not stop.

3♣️ - How creative is your muse?

He doesn’t consider himself an artist at all. He’s not the kind of person “understands” art. And he doesn’t really have any artistic talent at all. But you do have to have some creativity to be an effective researcher, so don’t discredit him too much!

4♣️ - What does your muse have the most passion for?

He loves pretty much all sciences, but if I had to name just one field it would be toxicology.

5♣️ - What would your muse change about their current lifestyle?

He wants to be healthier, and he wants to try to be more in-tune with himself. Meaning that he wants to figure out what he wants because he’s not sure.

6♣️ - How do your muse’s “gut feelings” usually turn out?

He can be a little dense, so they’re not usually very helpful.

7♣️ - Has your muse ever felt “trapped”, either figuratively or literally?

The most trapped he’s ever felt was when he was in his bad depression. He was sure he’d never be able to get out of there.

Other than that, does bondage count?

8♣️ - What is your muse the most stubborn about?

That you’re a beautiful person who deserves to be happy.

9♣️ - What is your muse’s proudest accomplishment?

Well, he doesn’t like to brag, but getting hired for a job at a leading research facility at seven years old is a hell of an accomplishment.

10♣️ - When was the last time your muse took a vacation or trip?

You’re so funny.

J♣️ - Who does your muse trust the most?

Ding dong it’s Hitori again.

Q♣️ - Do other people consider your muse charming?

Some may consider his awkwardness to be endearing.

K♣️ - How important is integrity to your muse?

Extremely. Dishonesty is one thing that really bothers him.

A♦️ - What is the most important message your muse has ever received?

The one from the Hawk Party telling him they wanted to pull him out of school to work for them.

2♦️ - How important is money to your muse?

It’s nice to have, certainly, and he appreciates being able to splurge on himself once in a while. But he really just wants to be able to pay his bills.

3♦️ - How does your muse handle indecision?

He tries to think things through as logically and objectively as he can. He’ll even make a pro/con list if he has to.

4♦️ - Is your muse more of the patient or instant gratification type?

It depends. He’s usually pretty patient, unless it’s something like learning a new skill. Since he’s used to being so smart, he can get frustrated pretty quickly if he doesn’t pick something up quick enough. Intellectually he knows that he just needs to practice and that he can’t be a savant at everything he touches, but emotionally the feeling of being inept at something really upsets him.

5♦️ - How often does your muse change plans?

He prefers to put extra effort into a plan and then feel confident sticking with it than run on instinct and change shit up on the fly. But he’s not too much of a fool to know when changing plans is the right course of action.

6♦️ - Is your muse responsible with their money?

Yes, he takes it very seriously. He keeps careful track of all his bills and always sets a certain percentage into savings.

7♦️ - When was your muse the most down on their luck?

He considers his depression to be his low point obviously, but he would say that being born to real shitty parents and then almost getting blown up was a pretty unlucky way to start his life.

8♦️ - Has your muse ever received money or gifts from a mysterious benefactor?

He has found beans on his desk on Legumentine’s. A considerate gesture, or a secret admirer...? Who knows?

9♦️ - How much money does your muse spend on average?

I can’t find enough information to estimate a number for you unfortunately, but as far as luxuries go: he tends to spend little overall with small periods of splurging every so often. Not splurging as in buying a new car, but more like getting a few new shirts, or getting that cute skirt he saw in a window, or taking a trip to the bookstore.

 10♦️ - How financially successful is your muse?

Honestly? He’s not doing too bad. His apartment is small but nice, and as mentioned before he could actually probably afford an even better one if he cared to. And since he doesn’t spend a whole lot, he’s got a respectable amount in savings by now.

J♦️ - Who does your muse do the most business with?

Store-wise? Aside from the grocer, probably the bookstore.

Q♦️ - Has your muse ever been gossiped about or participated in gossip?

Shuu hates gossiping, but I’m sure he’s been the subject of it. Especially when he worked with Tohri, like are you kidding me? Every day with that nonsense. And who knows what kind of rumors the students come up with.

K♦️ - If your muse were to start their own business, what would it be?

Either a pharmacy or, considering he doesn’t bake nearly as often as he wishes he did, a cake shop.

2♠️ - How often does your muse wish to be left alone?

He is an introvert, so he’ll get tired and stressed if he goes too long without privacy. He’d like to get a good few hours to himself every day if possible. It still counts if he’s working.

3♠️ - Does your muse ever let anyone see them cry?

Shuu hates to cry in front of people, and even if it’s someone he trusts he’ll still feel bad about it. But he’s a sensitive baby, so...

5♠️ - Has your muse ever had to change their lifestyle in a major way?

The biggest change was when he lost his job at the Hawks. Once he was ready to start looking for a new job, he decided that it needed to be something he wouldn’t obsess over. He knew he needed to start having a life outside of work. That’s been one hell of a process.

6♠️ - Does your muse believe in fate/destiny?

He doesn’t really care either way. He’s just trying to get through the day.

7♠️ - What’s a hard truth that your muse has to learn/has learned?

Don’t assume that there’s alway going to be a “later”. Life hits you hard and fast.

8♠️ - What does your muse work the hardest for?

Figuring out how to be happy is his biggest challenge right now. Not that he’s always in the piss bucket and never has a day of levity in his life, but he’s still in the process of getting himself together, mentally.

9♠️ - Has your muse ever felt forced to change?

His parents instilled a lot of things in him. He might say it didn’t have an effect on him, but those are some of the most formative years of your life. His mother in particular definitely said and did a lot of things that shoved him into a mold (that he never would have fit in) of what he was supposed to be.

10♠️ - How does your muse cope with grief?

He doesn’t, not really. He bottles it up and hides it away when he’s around anyone else, and then has a breakdown when he’s alone. But he won’t want to be alone - chances are he’ll throw himself into work.

J♠️ - Who would your muse most likely end up in jail with?

He’d probably end up hanging out with the wrong crowd, feel pressured to stand by and get caught up as an accomplice.

Q♠️ - Does your muse manipulate others easily or are they easily manipulated?

If you know enough about him to know his buttons, it’s almost scary how pliable he is.

K♠️ - What is one thing your muse considers a grave injustice?

That more people don’t realize how biology is.