#i just want to behave like a normal human being with a normal working brain PLEASE

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been chronically homeless for 9 years due to severe disability, the way housing is managed in america is just a joke. it's all about the profits for the landlord, nothing else matters. credit checks are a gate to keep out poor people. deposits are a gate to keep out poor people. you wanna apply for a low-income housing program? you HAVE to have a "severe" disability diagnosis and proof that you're too disabled to afford or apply for "normal" housing. this is a gate to keep out poor people.

people in positions to help house homeless people don't care because they're housed. there's no sense of urgency. they don't have to think about what it's like to go without a roof over their head. they get paid tens of dollars an hour to sit there and scoff at all of the "lazy poor and disabled people who should just get jobs and stop whining and expecting to have things handed to them." they get paid to ignore emails and take 2 hour long lunches to forget about how hard and scary the world really is.

how the FUCK are you supposed to work when you don't have a place to sleep at night, shower, or eat? come the fuck on. use your goddamn brain. this system is built off of abuse, lying and torture. nobody earns an "honest" day's pay, none of this is "honest" work. it's all built off of the backs of lying and stealing from someone who needs it more. jobs aren't given to the person who's the most qualified- they're given to the person who lied the most to make themselves sound good during the interview. jobs are given to people who are good at interviews, NOT people who are GOOD at what they do.

i don't know how to tell you that when the average person isn't making enough to eat, fuel their car or pay for their phone, they also can't afford the roof over their head. disabled people and low-income people are struggling even worse with this. i don't know how to tell people that you should care about this.

we are literally all the same species. we are all humans. you cannot look down on disabled, poor and addicted people because we're "scum" and "less than human". we're not. that's a lie you're being fed by capitalism to feel better about yourself so you'll keep blindly working. wake up. this is not how humans behave. you're being brainwashed. everyone needs a stable home. EVERYONE. especially if you want them to contribute to your stupid money machine.

capitalism makes no fucking sense. give people homes or get the fuck out of our way, because we're about to just start taking them. this is unsustainable. this is unliveable. this system doesn't fucking work. a system that leaves its people to starve and die while apartments, homes, condos, and hotel rooms stay empty and collect dust doesn't work. none of this shit works. fuck this fascist system. none of us are free.

[epickiya722]

I don't think I expressed enough how much I do actually like that Yuji is this... I don't know how to really put it into words but... how Yuji is this unique embodiment of horror and strangeness.

Like, just the details of his character makes him stand out to me. Everyone in JJK has some bit of oddness to them, and he has own unique kind.

He looks like sunshine personified and he is. He is the sweetest kid there is. And he looks like the typical "Oh, he must be the normal one who has to adapt to the horrors the other have to go through" character. Ha ha... no, he is the horror. He is the "creepy child" trope without even showing that he is.

Yuji is the kind of horror you actually have to put thought into to even realize "Oh, wait, that is actually fucked up". Fridge horror, the horror that you think nothing too much of until you really open your mind to it.

Like, he's this own level of odd with how he behaves and thinks.

First, it's his interests. Yuji didn't mind really being in the occult club. Of course, his reasons was that the club time allowed him enough time to see his grandfather. But also, even though he didn't have to really participate, he actively does. Iguchi and Sasaki exploring haunted places? Yuji tags along and isn't frightened at all. Mind you, they like going go haunted places because they like being scared. Why folks watch horror movies and go to attractions, right?

Yuji will play with an oujia board.

Fan of a movie series titled the Human Earthworm and actually can find the beauty and love in said movies. He's so real for that.

So far it's just simple stuff like that, right?

First time seeing a curse? Admits to being scared, but barely even flinches. When Megumi talks about the Cursed Finger and mentions how curses want to eat it? His response?

"Why, is it good?"

IT'S A FINGER?!

When informed about Inumaki's technique? What was the example he uses? "So if he says 'die' then it will happen?" Out of all the examples?! He was more impressed by the technique than actually fearful of it.

That Cursed Doll he had to train with? Called it "cute" and Gojo questioned that. In fact, when meeting Yaga, Yuji commented on how the dolls were cute.

How he fights is even a little odd and unsettling. He immediately goes into action, doesn't even need to hear the bell. He always has this look on his face that "Yeah, your kneecaps are mine". Not once has I ever recalled he actually smiles during a fight. Unlike some of the others who have showcased some enjoyment or some type of being unhinged in a "to hell with it" mood, Yuji always has this almost animalistic glare, that kind of unhinged. He isn't holding back, even against normal people like the high school bullies in chapter 163. Sometimes I question if he even knows how to hold back.

He doesn't like to get violent or kill. If he has to, he will. But it's just not anything he can brush off or be like "Yeah, I like doing it".

Then the idea of dying? Yeah, Yuji makes it clear he knows people will die. Execution placed on his head? He accepts dying with Sukuna instead of asking if there's any way to work around it, find a solution. Keep in mind, Sukuna is downright evil and does nothing but make life hard for Yuji every chance gets.

However, by the end, Yuji changes from choosing to die with Sukuna, so that no one else has to suffer, to offering Sukuna to live along side him even if no one accepts that.

Oh, let's not forget his family.

Yeah, Sukuna I just mentioned? That's his uncle by soul reincarnation. Jin, Yuji's dad who we don't really know what happened to him, is the reincarnation of Sukuna's twin that Sukuna ate in the womb. Doesn't stop there.

Yuji's mother, Kenjaku? Actually a 1000+ year old sorcerer who body hops by implanting their brain into whatever body they find convenient for their plans. One of those bodies happen to be Kaori Itadori, Jin's wife. Jin's dead wife. Kenjaku played wife in a woman's dead body, the same body Yuji was born from.

Yuji was born out of a corpse. With one of the Cursed Finger somehow already sealed inside him.

His other family members include Death Paintings: Choso, Eso, Kechizu, Noranso, Sho-oso, Tanso, Sanso, Kotsuso, and Shoso. His older siblings (technically) through Kenjaku, who was possessing Noritoshi Kamo's (the ancestor) body at the time. And guess what? Their blood consists of a human's blood, a cursed spirit's and Kenjaku's.

Yeah, like them, Yuji isn't really human. Again, born with one of Sukuna's Cursed Fingers already sealed in him. Without Cursed Energy, he was already outrunning cars and possessing strength not normal for the average human.

Oh, wait, and let's not forget his 'appetite'. He will eat anything if it means saving people. And he has. Other than Cursed Fingers, the other Cursed Objects Yuji consumed are his own siblings 4 - 9. Mind you, they were akin to fetuses contained in glass jars. (He isn't happy about eating them or anything for that matter though. I wouldn't be either.)

In all, he's just fridge horror with a some goodness mixed in there. I'm just rambling here.

[eldritch-spouse]

Oughh, for a second, I lost your account, and I was so sad because I love your world and oc's so much!!

Okay so I read again the Morell and Nebul interchanging pets for a day, and it made me curious.

Would they actually trust each other to babysit each other's obsessions for long spans of time? Would they ever schedule some kind of "play dates " for their humans, as a treat, maybe?- 🪶🍵

[Howdy! Thenk you and welcome back. :7]

[Ooough I had to go back and fetch context for that one.]

Likely not long spans of time.

Nebul knows that he can trust a properly trained obsession in the hands of one of his coworkers for a short span of time, because they're already trained to a fine level and can behave without provoking any sort of unfortunate incident. However, the longer he leaves his pearl in another's hands, the higher the probability of disaster is- He just doesn't perceive his coworkers as being able to properly care for or discipline you.

Morell's biggest fear is that Nebul will poke around your brain too much and that you'll come back to him an empty shell of your former self. To the point where he'll sometimes ask you everything you did with the wraith, just to try and make sure that no memories were eaten in his absence. So no, the chef naturally doesn't want you around Nebul for too long.

Play dates can happen, following a short evaluation of how stable both of you are. Both monsters agree that this should be a reward for good behavior, or otherwise utilized as a means to normalize the situation to one or both of you. Purpur, Turnip, Alfredo and Pepper may be involved. While Nebul is more partial that these get-togethers happen in his shop and Morell prefers them in the restaurant space, both have agreed that maybe the garden works well enough.

It's got scenery and enriching wildlife (very not-normal wildlife).

Likely not.

He wants your online presence to be as diminished as possible, ideally nonexistent.

Nebul will allow you to submit verified scores in competitions, but he holds all the information of your every account and never allows you to stream anything or interact with anyone.

Offline games are at your disposal if you happen to showcase good behavior. He particularly finds it amusing how you torture yourself with souls games. Beneath all that sweltering rage that nearly has you smashing controllers, there's an undercurrent of satisfaction that keeps you going.

He usually swoops in when you're defeated and sulking about it.

[Hawhawhawhaw-]

To be fair, Xiko himself is mildly embarrassed.

He usually plans what he deems to be his. Because it's kind of humiliating to chase after something he can't physically attain, isn't it? Kind of like holding a stick with a carrot in front of a pig. Except that pig is aware of what's happening, and can't do anything to stop the chase.

Here, Xiko didn't get to decide that you would be his over a decent period of time where he determines it's plausible to obtain you. No, he just saw you, listened to his urges, and paid for it via being forced to sprint after you until he can steal some poor sap's car and turn this into a news-worthy story.

He's angry at himself as he burns his own undead leg muscles with the rabid urge to reach you, he's furious! But the process cannot be stopped. And he will have you.

Honestly, he understands he looks scary to the average human -Even some demons find him gnarly- But if you crash and end up dying because of this, he's going to be so mad Xiko might actually reach into his mouth and pull his eyes out.

[Pip? 😭]

Make no mistake, once a certain level of efficiency is reached, you are effectively a glorified lap cat.

Cuddling is used many times as a subtle way to reinforce certain responses, without you even knowing. Nebul conditions you such so that you'll seek cuddling him even after he does something traumatic to you- Because even if he's the one that hurt you, you have already been trained to believe that he's also the only one that can comfort you.

While to you it might be nothing more than a relaxation session, the wraith is constantly testing how you respond to certain touches. How easily do you lean into him? How much do you fidget? Do you lean away? Do you seek his hand after he removes it? How bold are you in the way you position yourself? Are you relaxed enough to miss certain gestures? Yes, Nebul is enjoying himself too, but he's still evaluating you.

Cuddling is used a lot during the process of training you precisely because Nebul notices that you respond so intensively to it.

[datawyrms]

It's Invisobang again!

and again im doing a weird little AU fic that's pretty short but hopefully enjoyable! Make sure to keep an eye out for the amazing art by @snazzydwarf and @chaseacer-ghostedition ! You can read the first chapter here or hustle over to Ao3 :v

It's called A Family in Frost - and Jazz is having a terrible day that a certain Danny dragon will make both better and worse c:

A frozen wasteland. That’s all there was, here. Snow, ice, and an agonizing glare of reflected sunlight she couldn’t escape, no matter the angle. It was funny, in a way. Hilarious. Of course her ‘genius’ parents managed to cook up a spell that messed up SO badly that it not only failed to summon a dragon, but instead sent a human somewhere with zero dragons. Everyone knew the Arctic dragons had been hunted to extinction centuries ago. Yet here she was! In thin cotton clothes, and leather shoes already sodden through.

Fantastic. She always wanted to die horribly in some stupid accident. Jazz shook her head, pretending the constant shudder from the endless cold was all in her mind. Being angry about this wasn’t going to keep her alive. Not much would, to be fair- but she was smart! She could probably remember some spells that might at least keep her warm, or make a signal for help. Or whatever had gone wrong in that stupid experimental trap her parents made might just snap her back where she belonged!

She totally wasn’t completely doomed to drop dead. This was fine. Sort of. It wasn’t, at all. She was doomed. How funny! Her dad always said she had a little brother that got killed by a dragon- but that was a dumb story! To scare her to behave or whatever! It wasn’t as if she remembered any siblings. If she did have some dead brother, maybe she’d say sorry for forgetting him and ask if the ‘dragon’ that killed him was their parents doing something stupid and unsafe too!

Jazz grabbed the sides of her head, pulling at the bright orange hair and using the pain to force herself to just breathe. Breathe the frigid, painful air that made the trembling worse, and her mouth and nose sting. How could she not panic? How could she use that brain of hers to do something other than see the disaster unfolding right in front of her? Positive thinking could only go so far before it was delusional!

So she should think less. More ‘what can I do right now’ and less ‘well I’m still going to starve to death if I don’t freeze��. What she wouldn’t give to have been transported here with a tome. At least she didn’t need to care too much about a magical backfire. It wasn’t like screwing up a spell could make anything significantly worse. It’d probably be quicker than freezing or starving at minimum. Haha. Such an upside to consider! She couldn’t really trust her hands to weave the spell- but there was an endless canvas of snow to use to write it out.

Just focus, Jazz. You can make yourself warm. Then use that time to build a little shelter to keep the warm in for when the magic faltered. No thinking about after that. Just stop the awful daggers of frost and her shuddering bones to start.

The symbols weren’t right, exactly. The shivering made anything even resembling a straight line a challenge. It had to be good enough. Even as the flaws made her brain scream for corrections- she didn’t really have the time to be the perfectionist she was. This was a simple enough use of power that it shouldn’t matter- her intent was incredibly obvious in this awful cold. The normal light blue she generally expected from casting was lost in the overbearing glare of reflected light- but she could feel it work. It still took some time to stop shaking- and feeling warm wasn’t going to stop frostbite, but it was progress. Time to build a little snow shelter. Snow was a good insulator, right? Anything would be better than just sitting exposed like this.

Jazz didn’t really want to waste more of her limited power on moving the snow magically- but trying to dig in with her bare hands made it clear she wasn’t going to make anything close to a shelter that way. Pulling the compacted snow up in solid walls wasn’t something she could manage without a tool.

So her little shelter wasn’t great. It was warmer inside, yes- but it was very small, and very dark if she didn’t leave the hole of an entrance clear. She just didn’t want to risk anything bigger- not if it could make the roof collapse. And she wasn’t going to STAY here that long, so small and minimal use of magic was better, right?

It was just temporary. Until she could think of a real plan. Until someone realized what happened and came to rescue her. That’s why she had to stay there, and not run off or do anything dumb. Like panic, or think too hard about how much danger there was.

Which was difficult, when she didn’t have anything else to focus on. There was the horror of all the empty space outside her tiny shelter, or the claustrophobic darkness inside it. Multiple ways to be disturbed and unsettled! What a lucky learning experience. Okay. So mom and dad’s weird trap was meant to summon a dragon. The transporting part happened- just totally wrong and to a non dragon. Why to here though? What did they mess up to get from ‘specially made circle trap’ to ‘THE ARCTIC TUNDRA’. Not that she’d have enough magic to even try to replicate it, not without amplifier stones or relics.

Being terrified was pretty exhausting. Jazz didn’t think she would be able to sleep, at all. Yet she must have. She would have heard something walk up, instead of freezing in terror at the sound of something scrabbling on the snow outside. Maybe it was one of those little foxes, or an owl. No, it was too loud for that. A bear? That would be her luck. Parents so worried about dragons she got killed by a freaking polar bear.

She didn’t want to give whatever it was a reason to keep trying to get in, but she couldn’t stop the scream when a thick claw dug through the snow and a bright green eye peered in at her. It seemed to glow- and the slitted pupil only made it even more unsettling.

There were NO Arctic dragons left. That was just a fact.

That was a very draconic eyeball leering at her through the claw-dug hole.

Just her luck. Maybe her crackpot parents were right about that whole ‘family is cursed by dragons’ nonsense she’d done her best to ignore. If fate had a throat, she’d try to strangle it.

—--

He wasn’t sure what he expected, really. The smell of magic on the wind had pricked his curiosity. He didn’t really recall the last time he’d even sensed magic that wasn’t coming from him. At least five years? More? Oh. No. Don’t think about that, that just brings the empty feeling back.

So of course he had to poke the weird little snow tower! It wasn’t natural, so of course he had to see if there was something interesting in it, or if it did something. The snow tower did not do anything but prove to be weak to his blunt black claws.

Inside though? The bright orange hair was one thing, but the scream that forced him to back up with a grunt of pain was not fun. Phantom shook his head and laid his short ears back, deep in the thick white fur to block the worst of the sound. Okay so. Someone alive made the silly snow spire! That was new, exciting. Maybe fun? If whatever it was in there stopped making so much noise. He only looked at them!

Well. It did sort of make sense. He was pretty small for a dragon, and the bright haired creature inside was smaller than him. Imagine something that had magic being afraid of him! Ha! If he could look less scary, maybe they’d calm down a bit? Phantom moved in a quick circle before crouching down, pulling his short legs in close and wrapping his tail around himself and pulled his neck in close to the rest of the thick fur that covered his body. There. Warm waiting pose and looked smaller for the scream- thing.

He kept his green eyes fixed forward as he waited. Not moving was easy. He spent a lot of time not moving, honestly. Running all over frozen ground was both a waste of time and just made him hungry. Orange-hair didn’t seem very suited for the weather. No fur, and the pale skin didn’t look very resistant. If those coverings were meant to keep them warm- well they seemed too thin to be much use out here. They were lucky this time of year the sun was always up.

“Shoo!”

Phantom tilted his head at the sound. Wait. Was that meant to scare him off or something?

“Yeah, you! Go on now! Shoo!”

Oh this was way funnier. He tilted his head again, and kept staring.

The little critter obliged his request for more hilarity by getting a bit redder and shouting “I’m not afraid of you! Now go! Git!”

“I’m not afraid of you either, silly.”

That shut them up! He didn’t think those eyes could get any bigger but they sure seemed to look like it. This was the funniest thing he’d seen in years.

“What? Never seen a talking dragon before?�� As if there was such a thing as one that didn’t. Pft.

“But you’re all dead!” the voice was higher pitched and wavering now, eyes still staring at him.

Phantom snorted at that, slowly and dramatically looking over his shoulders for something amiss. “Well sorry to disappoint with my ‘being alive’.”

“No! No that’s not what I- arrrgh!” They cut themselves off with a frustrated huff, staring at the snow as if doing that would make him magically forget the stumbling around. “I’m glad apparently humans haven’t just hunted all of your kind to extinction but how? Everyone knows there aren’t any Arctic dragons left!” Frowning, they kept looking at him, eyes narrowing as they started muttering again. “Maybe you aren’t a dragon, and some sort of chimera? Or another magical beast mimicking an extinct species? Or I’ve frozen to death and this is a weird hallucination my brain is making up…”

Right. Humans. That was the name for what they were. Which wasn’t exactly a good thing- what few dragons he did manage to get words out of didn’t usually have the nicest things to say about humans, but this one seemed fine? They weren’t some dragon hunter that wanted to skin him alive or anything. Most importantly, they were the most interesting thing in years, and he wasn’t going to have some ‘oh no humans scary’ stories ruin that for him. “I’m definitely an Arctic dragon. So all your little human books are wrong.”

“Have you been in hiding? For centuries?”

“What? No! Do I look even close to a century old?” Phantom burst out laughing at the very idea, letting out a second, harder laugh when he saw their face.

“How should I know how old an extinct dragon is!”

“Use your eyes? I’m barely taller than you, and you’re puny!” Which is the closest he was going to admit to being pretty small to anyone. Which wasn’t his fault! He was still growing. Probably.

They quieted down after that, rubbing their arms and shaking instead of doing anything interesting. “So what are you going to do, then?”

“Do?” Phantom flicked his ears forward, unsure if he misheard. “What do you mean?”

They didn’t answer him, just shaking. Shivering? Oh. Maybe they were really cold after all, and he’d guessed right about the clothes not being warm enough.

“Um. Like I guess you can stay in your weird little snow tower. That I kinda broke.” He frowned, starting to get up again and shaking his paws to warm them back up. What was he going to do? “Sorry. Err. Do you want to come with me? Since my den is probably warmer than…” he paused, looking at how the snow ‘tower’ he poked a hole in fell over completely “That. Thing you were in.”

“So you can eat me later?”

“Ew? No?” Phantom made a gagging sound, fur bristling at the idea. “I’m not desperate enough to eat something sapient!”

The shivering didn’t stop, but a hint of a smile showed on their face. “So you aren’t a blood thirsty, human devouring kind of dragon?”

His tail flicked, a playful gesture he couldn’t quite suppress. “Rude. Even if I was, you totally wouldn’t be worth the effort of eating! You’re like a stick!”

“I guess I am. You didn’t get that round from eating scrawny little humans after all.”

“I’m not round!” His fur did not help his squawk of indignation, fluffing up so he was more of a cloud than a sleek predator of the tundra. “I’m well equipped to retain heat!”

Instead of being cowed by this, the little human actually walked up and poked the tip of his snout. “Which means being round. It’s the most effective strategy up here, right?”

“Shut upppppp!” Phantom stuck out his tongue and waved his tail- but it was obvious even the human could tell he was just playing along. It was nice to have a friend around here. Especially after so long alone.

[wishmaker-astra]

Name: Astra Tsiolkovsky

Pronouns

• Default Preference: she/her

• Friends Can Use: it/its

• Though honestly as long as you're not a dick about it whatever works

Species: "Jirachi" (?)

Occupation: Astrophysics Doctoral Student

Other: Mute, psychic, former human

[Credit: Amber Aria: https://www.sunset-aria.com/]

Hey internet, I'm Astra Tsiolkovsky. I'm a doctoral student studying astrophysics in Unova. Ask me about science, engineering, and Space Stuff™ if you want rambles.

See my full about page

My Website

I use the "cw: topic" format for tagging that kind of thing.

//Mail: [reinterpreted as parcel post]•Mystery Gift: [discretionary]•Magic Anon: [off]•Union Circle: [off]

//[OOC Notes Below Cut]

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT

Check with me OOCly before sending anything ICly transphobic to her. After a couple instances of this, and one OOC Totally Normal ask, you guys have lost privilege of me accepting and rejecting on the fly with the hope you'd know when to stop.

If you fuck this up more, I'm going to mandate all asks about IC transphobic stuff get approval OFF ANON first and will start blocking anons over not asking OOCly. That said, I know some of these are hard to recognize for those of you who've never had to think about it in depth. Just think twice on if need to ask please?

EDIT 10/10: Congratulations on first OOC block about this. I am less likely to start off with warnings from now on.

Similar applies to her jirachi status. I'm a bit more lenient and open to this one, but, like, please use your brains. If it gives a setup for her to dunk on religious weirdos though, I basically have to be in a really trash mood that day to not give the OK to that.

Will Not Interact:

Magic Anon

Fae deals/name stealing

Meta Horror

4th Wall Schenanigans

Very dark topics

• This includes post-apocalyptic stuff to be clear

Mental Alteration/Mind Control related subjects

• I WILL just ignore things, have Astra behave utterly OOC, blanket refuse to interact with characters, and/or just suddenly drop interaction as if never happened if required for this

Other Notes:

I try to treat her experiencing rotomblr as *just a website* as much as possible. Granted, one with weird multiversal connection that she will assume is due to ultrahole shenanigans she doesn't understand yet

Lose combination of games and anime setting, leaning more towards the games

Pelipper mail will be interpreted as regular parcel mail being sent to her via student services.

Please keep mystery gift to minor items at most. She's a grad student as part of her character, part of that is putting up with tight money situation.

Astra's got the full abilities of a jirachi potentially, but is completely unable to use them yet. Think of it as getting a new limb suddenly.

Assumes sentient pokemon are rare, and mostly limited to:

• Ones with decent canon support (rotom inhabiting devices with a CPU, mewtwo, one off instances such as Meowth, latias, etc)

• Certain humanoid and/or psychic types raised in human society in a way that  "bootstraps" them during critical development periods (e.g. Gardevoir line treated as effectively human from birth)

Feel free to treat her as a kid screwing around on the net with a character if you want or similar if it makes sense for your character's setup or personality

She's an adult lesbian, please block the tags "suggestive", "cw: boob joke", "cw: dick joke", "cw: sex joke", and "cw: sex mention" if you are not comfortable with those topics. Please let me know if you need something tagged.

[ari-but-unhinged]

Art for Toritsuka/Hairo fic where I explored what was meant to be a crack ship and is now one of my favourite (??) ships in Saiki k- PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

(A long rant ensues so, if you don’t want that then that’s all good and you don’t have to click, but if you’re interested, then welcome to my rant about a rare pair i love!)

Of course, I started out by simply laughing at the “I hate men” line Toritsuka said about Hairo and thinking writing a crack taken seriously fic would be funny and it would be a nice break before I started this other fic I have planned that is going to be an even bigger endeavour with Saiki k x Danganronpa. What I didn’t see happening was for this Torihai fic to completely take over my brain space and end up with a fic just shy of 20,000 words.

This may not seem like a lot, but I usually only write fics in 1,000-2,000s so this is a lot for me, especially since I’m a slow writer/editor so it takes me a while.

Part of the reason I love these two together is because of the inherent dynamic of Hairo’s inspirational preachiness and how it doesn’t work on Toritsuka, and how it might be refreshing for Hairo to have someone who challenges him (and not in the fake way Teruhashi does, with Toritsuka being very upfront and honest about it). Toritsuka also, because he’s so upfront about his feelings, helps Hairo to express certain emotions like annoyance/sadness that he wouldn’t normally express outwardly. Something else too is that Toritsuka tends to be very physically affectionate, and I don’t know that Hairo is used to that (I haven’t seen any examples of him being physically affectionate in any other way than a bro way) so that could be refreshing as well. Also, also, Toritsuka is Hairo’s gym buddy who was reluctantly dragged along that day Saiki was trying to avoid everyone and no one can change my mind lol (this, in Hairo’s mind, forms a bond between them that can never be broken and he will never stop reminding Toritsuka of this when they hang out).

I just think their dynamic can be playful/fun because they’re both real with each other if that makes sense?

On Toritsuka’s side of things, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and the friends he does have he either doesn’t have any chemistry with or hate him (Saiki lol), so I think it’d be nice for him to have someone who is extremely caring/attentive to his friends and clearly cares deeply about them and shows it often. Because of this, Hairo shows interest in Toritsuka’s life, and for someone who probably hasn’t had many friends, that would mean a lot. Also the fact that Hairo cares so much for Toritsuka sets an example as to how to be a good friend/human would behave and could help him grow as a person (which are always the best friendships/relationships when they grow together rather than staying stagnant and dragging each other down). Being more caring of others and allow him to develop his interpersonal relationships with more than just ghosts, instead with real humans.

Also, I’ve taken to calling them the “errand boys” because it’s a great prompt to force two people who are polar opposites and would never interact to hang out/do an activity together, so I thought it fit them perfectly.

In the fic I changed a few things from canon (sexualities obviously- Tori is bi/queer and Hairo is gay. Although quick side-tangent- I’ve written Tori/Kaidou, Tori/Akechi, and now Tori/Hairo and all three of them either are Asexual or are often headcanonned as ace by the community/me and I just find it very funny that the horniest character is continuously shipped with them. I only realized I did this after I first started writing the fic.)

- Hairo explicitly has psychic powers (it’s something they can bond over and it’s something that plays off of Hairo��s emotions. Cue a lot of blushing not only because of embarrassment but also actual literal heat rushing to his face.)

- Hairo was raised by a single parent (His family is never mentioned so I just made one up)

- Personal headcanon, but I feel like Toritsuka might occasionally pretend to not see spirits in order to avoid getting approached.

- Toritsuka’s backstory has been slightly altered and has a lot more angst to an already pretty sad backstory (it’s played for laughs, but imagine how that would’ve felt for him :( he realized he lost two people he loved in a matter of minutes. Also, he’s a child when this happens so that’s even sadder. I honestly wonder if they died somewhere in the house or he was just there and his guardians didn’t know, like??? How???)

If this made you interested in reading the fic which this is all about, I’ll link it at the end, but if you were just here for the rant, that’s cool too! I’m obsessed with these two because they’re adorable and I must spread the gospel of Torihai.

Link to original fic-

[ily-sunghoon]

The Omen of Sterling | CHAPTER III

Pairing : vampire!enha x fem!oc (sunghoon is shining right here)

Genre of this chapter : vampire, fluff if you squint

POV : Author’s

Words count : 5.2k

WARNINGS : food, mentioned of blood, curses, mentioned of hex, witchcraft, weapons duel, lmk if I missed anything

Note : sorry for the long break! college sucks me dry and I fell sick! but feeling a lot better now! also thank you for the 350+ notes on the masterlist!!! it means a lot for me <3 feel free to ask if you have confusion about anything!

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST : @nshmrarki @capri-cuntz @millieinyourarea @strxwbloody @poeticjustice1010 @leesura @vousty (let me know if you want to be added)

CHAPTER III: ODD GIRL

Iolana slept like a baby after yesterday. That was such a long day. She’s still deep in her sleep when the vampires are arguing about humans’ eating needs.

“At least, we should give her breakfast! Let’s wake her up!” Jusarlie is worried. Being the most knowledgeable person in that room was hard.

“Let her rest, Jusarlie. She had a long day.” Hiael scoffed.

“Exactly why she has to eat!”

“And how are we supposed to wake her up exactly? Isn’t it a bit… I don’t know. We’ll look like perverts.” Ricardo clears his throat.

“Saine saw her feet yesterday. The whole calves.” Jusarlie feels the need to add some drama.

“Really, Jusarlie? Accusing me with false allegations?” Saine scoffed. “Guys, she told me to dry up her feet using my spell after the whole reading.”

“I can’t believe you’re becoming a pervert, Saine. We didn’t expect this from you.” Jestel looks so disappointed, he’s so good at acting.

“No more innocent Saine?” Jasper is joining in as well.

“I’ll tell you what! Her skin is almost as pale as Sarco! She would turn into a porcelain like Sarco if we transformed her into a vampire.”

They gasped in unison.

“Don’t spill it around like that!” Hiael panicked.

“He’s uncontrollable.” Jestel couldn’t believe it too.

“Will her smell be this annoying if she becomes a vampire?” Jasper asked the most important question for himself.

“Only if she bled.”

“Great, one of you turn her into one now. I don’t care about vamp host or anything, I can’t do this.” Jasper is in pure desperation.

“It’s not that simple, Jasper. Biting and drinking blood straight right up… it’s very intimate for us.” Hiael explained as polite as he could.

“It’s like having sexual intercourse.” Jusarlie sums it up.

“Seriously, Jusarlie? After I worded it so politely?”

“Notice who’s the real pervert here?” Saine throws rock back at Jusarlie.

“You and Jusarlie, clearly.” Sarco raised his eyebrows.

“Says you, Sarco! You crazy, possessive, lustful being!” Saine had a vision of how Sarco would act in a relationship. Let’s just say it is not a pleasant view for Saine, he was traumatized for a few months.

“There’s not a single sane braincell in your head, Saine. You should reconsider changing your name into Insaine.” Sarco hits back with his creative words.

“I’m the one with the most normal working brain here, ever heard what the folk towns said about us? Pioneers are everything but right-minded.” Saine who wanders a lot in town just like Ricardo, finally slipped out about the famous saying.

The folk towns are not wrong at all. Pioneers are out of their minds. For example, Sarco and his questionable moralism. Or maybe… Saine, with the dangerous and dark aura covered in a sweet personality of his. And maybe… Jusarlie? He gained the title ‘Psychotic Professor’ because some reasons.

“I’m behaving normal, though? Am I not?” Jestel is confused.

“You’re a Sinflame, it’s already far from normal.” Sarco giggled at his best friend.

“Wait, does biting feel equal to… you know?” Jasper gasped, finally speaking up after processing the whole idea of biting and drinking each other’s blood.

“Yes, married couple usually does it while in the sheets.” Jestel nods at Jasper’s question.

“And he still calls himself normal?” Saine giggled with Sarco.

“What the hell?!” Jasper is still in shock.

“The more you know.” Ricardo giggled. What a funny scene to watch.

While they’re arguing and bickering with each other, Iolana is already awake in her room. She’s already fit. She took a relaxing bath and wore comfortable casual clothes. She took out the letter that Idris gave her yesterday and began to read it carefully.

Test: Full on present and possible future Name: Iolana Sterling Result: Sweet, cheerful, easy-going, smart, caring, nurturing Potential to be the strongest vampire alive. Potential to tear Sinflame apart. Potential to start a war. Potential to make Slevado give up. Potential to be a ruthless queen. Will have a brother figure anytime soon. Will have a new best friend. Will have five suitors asking to be her vamp host. Will be hard to handle once become a vampire. Will be hard to control once realized her potential. Will be confused to choose one of the suitors. Deepest desire unknown. Dark secret unknown.

Iolana feels like Idris is a really great clairvoyant. She should get on his good side, no matter what. Iolana has no interest in hiding that letter. She just left it open on her table. Iolana heads out to where the guys are gathering. She doesn’t hear them bickering and arguing about who’s the most pervert for a while now. What are they currently doing?

“Iolana! Do you want some breakfast? We have, uh… bread? Milk? Some eggs?” Jusarlie doesn’t really know about breakfast menu.

“We’ve prepared this for you.” Jasper pulls the chair for Iolana, holding his breath. She glanced at the neatly placed plates and glass. There is bread, egg, and milk. What a brunch.

“Thank you!” Iolana smiles. She took a seat and began to eat. She feels seven pairs of eyes observing her so closely. It’s kind of creepy. “Are you guys not—”

“Nope, we’re good with these.” Jusarlie shows her a glass of wine. Obviously not wine, it’s reindeer’s blood.

“Eating is just a fancy thing for us. We don’t really need it.” Sarco explained.

“How do you usually eat, Iolana? The schedule and menu? I’ll make sure you eat well.” Jestel asked, he looks less intimidating right now. Probably because he didn’t style his blond hair, since 10am is not their active hour after all.

“For breakfast, something similar like this. You did so well.” Iolana complimented them.

“I found a breakfast book in my old shelf, we were supposed to add some bacons as well. Sadly, we ran out. I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Iolana.” Jusarlie smiles, showing his cute fangs.

“You’re all very kind to me. I appreciate it, I’m beyond grateful.” Iolana is truly touched by their kind gestures.

“We want the best for you, Iolana.” Saine replies with a smile.

“You look good in trousers, rare sight to see a girl wearing trousers like that.” Hiael commented. “It was a pure compliment. I’m sorry if I offend you.”

“Thank you for your honest compliment, Hiael. I wear trousers a lot at home.” Iolana explained. Sometimes she forgets that life outside of her living area is very different. First the ankle, now it’s trousers. Society is so funny.

She’s finishing brunch a little faster than usual. Feeling a bit uncomfortable with them observing her. Having seven pairs of vampires’ eyes watching you like that is surely something else.

Saine quickly noticed the slight discomfort in Iolana’s behavior. “Do we really have to take Jusarlie’s class today?”

“Not me, though. Stay mentally healthy, guys.” Ricardo chuckled.

“Enjoy your class.” Sarco also laughed at them.

“Why do you hate me so much?” Jusarlie sighed.

“Your exams are equal to dying slowly.” Hiael scoffed.

“Jasper and Jestel has no hard time doing it, though?” Jusarlie doesn’t want to lose.

“Of course, they’re as mental as you after all.” Saine couldn’t believe his ears. Since when did the standard has to rise just because Jasper and Jestel ace the exam?

“I’m sure Iolana won’t have any bad time with my lectures.” Jusarlie brings Iolana into the discussion.

“Do you prefer reading boring books or fighting, Iolana?” Ricardo asked.

Iolana was unsure about what she had to say. She chose the safe option, “I prefer sleep.”

“She’s just like me.” Jasper giggled. “I love sleeping, they don’t understand.”

“Jasper, we’re vampires. We don’t usually sleep.” Jestel rolls his eyes.

“I’m also a vampire who lost my human memories, yet I still love to sleep. Speaking about, preferences.” Jasper hits him back.

“You oversleep a lot.” Hiael points it out.

“Really? What was your record?” Iolana is curious.

“Fourteen hours.” Jasper admitted proudly.

“Guess mine,” Iolana makes it fun now.

“Twelve?” Jusarlie tried.

“Ten?” Sarco also joined in the guessing game.

“Fifteen maximum.” Jestel is also guessing.

“What was your record?” Jasper asked curiously.

“Twenty.” Iolana said while slightly raising her chin up.

They’re dumbfounded. Is that even normal? Is that healthy for human?

“Are you sure you were sleeping and not like… dying?” Saine is concerned.

“My father thought I was dead, but he checked up on my condition and I was perfectly fine. I was just sleeping! They woke me up after twenty hours, though. I need some food, they said.” Iolana told them the story.

“That’s amazing, we should do a nap competition next time.” Jasper found that very amusing. Someone can sleep for twenty hours. How crazy is that?

“Absolutely not.” Jestel is against that idea. “What if you die?”

“It’s a peaceful sleep, not some crazy stunts like Sarco.” Jasper is still confused. Why they’re so opposed by the idea of sleeping? It’s relaxing.

“I’d rather die fighting than to die sleeping?” Sarco is also confused by Jasper.

“You should try a refreshing nap, for real. It’s so energizing.” Iolana said to them. Siding Jasper.

“Sure, I want to know how energizing it can get me.” Jusarlie agrees.

“Yes, maybe we should try it together.” Jestel nods.

“If you haven’t really picked up, they’re in—” Jasper was cut by Jusarlie and Jestel who held him down. Did they really jump on him? Iolana found that odd.

“Don’t listen to him, Iolana.” Jusarlie smiles at Iolana again.

“Tell me whenever you’re ready to practice your fighting skill.” Sarco suddenly appeared next to Iolana.

“Oh, I’m actually ready. I put on these clothes just in case we’ll practice fighting today.” Iolana smiles.

“Great, then! Let’s go.” Sarco stood up from his seat.

“Shouldn’t you be taking a rest, Iolana?” Saine is clearly worried.

“She’s a Sterling, Saine. Don’t treat her like some ordinary human being.” Sarco is more offended by Saine’s words than Iolana herself.

“I’m fine, Saine. I should exercise to maintain my skill.”

“But—”

“She said she’s good.” Ricardo smugly smiles at Saine.

“Take care of yourself, Iolana.” Saine waves at Iolana who’s ready to practice.

“Thank you, Saine!”

Sarco and Ricardo walk to the basement, Iolana follows behind them. The basement is huge, no doubt about that. Mapping is difficult, it is not for beginners. Iolana wonders what do they use the basement for during the war? Is it to hide the children and women?

“How many floors are there in this basement?” Iolana curiously asked, breaking the silence between her and these tall vampires.

“Just two.” Sarco opened the practice room’s door. “I hope you’re good at mapping. This basement is a pain for newbie.”

“Jasper got lost a few times the first week.” Ricardo explained.

“I’ll just have to follow you then.” Iolana smiles.

“Good choice.”

Sarco observes her head to heels. “You look like you’re good at sword.”

“You can tell?” Iolana is a hundred percent sure that Sarco is a good fighter.

“Your father taught me that.” Sarco smiles. “Well, well, Iolana. What weapon will you test today?”

“Do you have recommendation?”

“How about… all of them?” Sarco stares directly into her eyes.

“Sure.”

“Are the both of you crazy or is it just me?” Ricardo doesn’t like this idea.

Iolana picks up the sword that Sarco handed her. “Is this steel? Or iron?”

“Correct. These are our practice swords for beginners like Ricardo and Jasper.” Sarco nods proudly at Iolana.

“How can you tell the differences?” Ricardo is impressed.

“Slightly heavier. Silver sword is a bit lighter.”

“Fight her, Ricardo. This is also your class.” Sarco throws a sword at Ricardo. “Don’t give her any mercy. You can start.”

Iolana obeyed and calmly waited for Ricardo to strike first.

“I could never—”

“Boring. Iolana, you can start.” Sarco immediately changed the role.

Iolana nods and gets ready to strike.

“Are you sure this is—” Ricardo has no idea of what just happened. His sword is on the sand floor, it just felt like a wind brushed on him. Iolana is gone from his sight. He turns around and sees the girl smiling at him.

“What the fuck?” Ricardo frowned. “Nah, I’m not fighting her.”

Sarco is totally enjoying this. He laughs like he’s never been in a hundred years. “I apologize, that was very entertaining.”

“How is that possible?” Ricardo still can’t figure it out.

“She’s a Sterling, no one believed me that it’s actually a big issue.” Sarco explained.

“Thank you for your credit, Sarco. I appreciate it.” Iolana is being honest.

“Don’t mention it, now your enemy is me.” Sarco is ready to strike with his machetes.

“Holy shit, that’s his favorite weapon! Be careful!” Ricardo quickly runs to the side of the practice field.

“You must’ve played the piano.” Iolana picks up two machetes as well.

“Yes. You have no idea how I really love equal opponents,” Sarco strikes missed. Iolana is terrifyingly fast for a human. Ricardo couldn’t imagine how strong she would be after turning into a vampire.

“I could say the same.” Iolana giggled.

They change their weapon every time one of them loses. It was a neck-to-neck fight. Ricardo is so amazed by both. They’re lying on the sand now. Out of stamina, maybe it’s just Iolana though.

“Pretty sure that was only the twenty percent of your real deal.” Iolana sits and offers his hand to Sarco.

“You’re a tough human, still.” Sarco grabbed her hand and sat as well.

“Me personally, you guys are crazy.” Ricardo shook his head. “Don’t ever fight, please.”

“He’s adorable.” Iolana chuckled at Ricardo’s reaction.

“He is.” Sarco nods. “He turns twenty this year, still can’t believe it sometimes.”

“They found me at the orphanage.” Ricardo began to tell his story to Iolana. “I was… the naughtiest kid ever.”

“Seems like you still are.” Iolana is very honest. “Who hold the adoption certificate, though?”

“No one yet.” Sarco looks down.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Jestel feels like none of us is ready to adopt him as family, he’s always so controlling to us like that.” Sarco looks genuinely annoyed.

“The day after I become a vampire, you have my promise.” Iolana stares at Ricardo.

“Hey, no pressure! It’s okay, I already thankful enough for this little family.” Ricardo laughed. Hiding his pain.

“No, no. You have my promise. I see your potential, you can be a good Sterling.” Iolana is being real. Ricardo and his careless behavior sound like a good Sterling.

“See, kiddos? A Sterling compliments you.” Sarco smiles at Ricardo. He wants nothing but Ricardo’s happiness. “Wait, Iolana. Have you ever fought empty-handed?”

“Barely, I don’t have the perfect anger to do it.” Iolana sighed. “You caught me there.”

“That’s alright, we’ll find your source of anger together.” Sarco chuckled at her.

Ricardo narrowed his eyes a little. Sarco is never that smiley.

“I’ve tried everything. Asking my dad to boss me around, asking my maids to disorganize my stuffs, asking my mom to scold me. Nothing works! When my brother accidentally cut my hair, I don’t even get angry.”

“So that’s how you got that haircut? How original.” Sarco is impressed. “Have you ever fallen in love?”

“That’s…? No, I guess not.” Iolana tilts her head.

“Maybe your anger could be triggered from love.” Sarco is guessing. “Most people are like that, except Jasper and Jestel. They get angry at everything.”

“Love… how does it feels like?”

“You’ll question your logic when it happens.” Sarco answered shortly. He quickly changed the topic, “Sterling mansion still exists here, if you want to visit your old house. I’ll take you there after dusk.”

“Really?” Iolana’s eyes sparkle.

“They’re still taking a good care of your mansion, those are some loyal maids and butlers.”

“Please, take me!” Iolana’s eyes are still sparkling.

—

The five other vampires are trying to relax in the living room. They can’t, though. Three of them are worrying about Iolana.

“You need to eavesdrop.” Jestel said to Saine. He’s going insane.

“Have some class, you’re a crown prince.” Hiael is calmly reading a book.

Saine tries to eavesdrop. “Oh my—they’re talking about Iolana’s source of anger.”

“Already? Fist fight?” Jasper is shocked.

“I guess so?” Saine is unsure. “They’re talking about love now.”

“Hell no.” Jestel shook his head. “Why are they talking about love?”

“She probably doesn’t have any source of anger.” Jusarlie guessed. “She’s a Sterling after all.”

“Tell me the history of Sterling, please?” Jasper is still so lost.

“I’m glad you asked.” Jusarlie closed his book and smiled widely. “I hope you’re ready for an amazing legendary story.”

—

“Even when you saw them fuckers kill your entire family? No anger?” Sarco is almost giving up.

“Call me heartless, I do want revenge but it’s not that great of a deal because I know I need to be stronger first. I can’t just go to their lair with a human form.” Iolana explained. “My father even calls me a…”

“True Sterling.” Iolana and Sarco said in unison.

“Is that an inside jokes?” Ricardo asked.

Sarco nods, “Tearle often calls me that whenever I act heartless. He even called me ‘more Sterling than a Sterling’ once.”

“Sounds like him.” Iolana giggled.

“It’s really in your nature then? Being heartless?” Ricardo finally gets it now.

“You could say that.” Iolana shrugged her shoulders.

“We have similar backgrounds, if I think about it.” Sarco laughed at the sudden realization. “We lost our family because of Sinflame and Von Ruden unnecessary wars. They’re so dramatic.”

“My father had a theory that Von Ruden is being controlled and manipulated by someone who wants Krashoviel throne.” Ricardo spoke up.

“Idris confirmed it, but they never believe them.” Sarco shrugged his shoulder.

“Holstein.” Iolana dozed off for a second.

“What?”

“Just a guess.”

“Wait a minute…” Sarco connects the dots. “That little piece of dirt!”

“Why?” Ricardo and Iolana are puzzled now.

“He was always acting weird! And after the last war, he fully turned his back against our nation. I have trust issues on Hiael now.” Sarco looks so frustrated.

“Told y’all that Hiael is kind of odd. Maybe if you start believing a kid.” Ricardo rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, mark my words. You’ll fall in love, Iolana. You’ve got seven men living with you.” Sarco suddenly summed it up.

“I don’t know, I had a vision that I will be a crazy lover. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone.” Iolana sighed, she truly is something else sometimes. It is hard to handle her, she’s just kind of… out of her mind.

“Would love to see that.” Sarco giggled. Somebody is a little bit eager here.

“Oh?” Ricardo holds his laugh.

“I just can’t see Iolana insanity in love fields, that’s why I’m curious.” Sarco clarified himself.

“Sure! No need to clarify yourself like that.” Ricardo smiles, mocking Sarco.

They ended up talking for hours in that practice room, Sarco felt relieved. He was right about Iolana, she’s much more than meets the eyes. Ricardo felt safe, he has one more person to talk to about his burdens. Iolana truly feels like a sister to him.

Three hours before dinner, Jestel decided to check up on them. “Are you having fun?”

“Never feels better.” Sarco helps Iolana to stand up, while Iolana helps Ricardo next.

“I’m glad you get along very well.” Jestel smiles at Iolana.

“Sarco and Ricardo are amazing, I really enjoy my time with them.” Iolana smiles back.

Something burns inside Jestel, it makes him slightly annoyed. He hid it very well, of course. He doesn’t want to get caught jealous by anyone, let alone Sarco and Ricardo.

“Hey, Jestel.” Iolana makes Jestel turn his head to face her.

“Yes?”

“Do you have any pictures of Holstein?” She asked with hesitation.

“Of course.” Jestel nods. “Do you want to see them?”

“If I may…”

“You are free to ask for anything. Really.” Jestel smiles at her.

Sarco could feel Jestel’s smile on his back. He feels annoyed and he’s not the best at hiding his facial expression.

“Yo, someone’s jealous.” Ricardo whispered at Sarco.

“I’m never jealous.”

“Quit lying, you’re not good at it.” Ricardo finds this whole situation very amusing. Not even two days, hell, not even a full one day in and Iolana already stealing hearts. What a maneater.

—

Just as he promised, Sarco took Iolana to the Sterling Mansion after dinner. Ricardo seems more excited about this than Iolana herself.

“So, where is this, Sterling Mansion?” Iolana asked Sarco.

“Near the palace.” Sarco answered shortly.

“Bakery?”

“Absolutely.” Sarco nods. “I love your gates.”

“Sterling is the coolest.” Iolana raised his chin a little bit. “Ricardo looks like the vase you threw to me yesterday.”

“Oh, you’re right! You know, Jusarlie looks like the dining room’s rug.” Sarco informed her.

“I can’t believe I have to handle two Sarco in this lifetime.” Ricardo couldn’t catch up on their weird topics.

“We’re just creative.” Iolana giggled. “It’s stimulating, you know.”

“Just say you’re weird and move on.” Ricardo shook his head.

They finally have a sight of the Sterling Mansion. Now, this is totally different from Cairneye’s. The gate is black, with their family’s crest. The front yard is not that colorful, just a fountain and a grass field. The building itself is very eerie, painting is dark, roof is dark, definitely something straight out from horror movie. Not so different from Iolana’s old house, minus the hardcore maze to confuse those nations whose looking for them. It looks safer here.

“Are you sure your favorite color is pink?” Ricardo thinks that Iolana is lying during dinner.

“Yes?”

“Not so you, just saying.” Ricardo hangs his hands up. “If you said red, I would believe it more.”

“Ricardo, don’t ever say that again or I’ll cut your throat.” Iolana remained calm. “I love pink to the point where I’m obsessed.”

“Please, don’t. I apologize.” Ricardo has goosebumps. Iolana is definitely sick in the head, he’s sure of it now.

“You should take turn on babysitting Ricardo next, nobody ever puts him in his place like that.” Sarco laughed at the scene.

“Wilhelmina would love her so much.” Ricardo sighed. It is always women who put him in his place, not that he complains, but it’s just… what about it? Women has this mystical aura that Ricardo couldn’t explain, like they would actually cut his throat without any hesitation over small things… like the pink topic earlier.

“She would be her closest friend in a second.” Sarco finally opened the Sterling Mansion’s gate. They walked inside.

“She would be her partner in crime if she knew Jestel, Saine, and Jusarlie are already swooned over by Iolana.” Ricardo added. Oh! What an interesting news for Iolana.

“They what?” Iolana is very… dense? That’s what happens if you totally isolated your kid from the outside world.

“I thought you already picked up?” Ricardo is clearly surprised by Iolana’s clueless self. “They adore you, Iolana. So much, to the point where you can call it love.”

“Nonsense.” Iolana laughed it off. There’s nothing worth adoring about her, besides her originality and combat skill, of course. Or at least that is what she thought.

“They gave you their blood, right?” Ricardo asked, having zero clue that Sarco also gave his blood to Iolana earlier after dinner.

Sarco, visibly panicked, rushed his steps like it’s a marathon competition, not wanting to hear the conversation any further. Not wanting Iolana to question his feelings for her.

“They did, what about it? Isn’t it just for me to feel energized and could create stronger bond with them?” Iolana has no idea about all of this, her father never told her about any of this before.

“I have no idea what your tradition is, but here in Krashoviel, they will only give you their blood if they want to settle down with you.”

“Ricardo, slow down. Settle down? As in commitment to marriage?”

Ricardo nods, Sarco? Vanished from their sight. “Exactly. That’s why it is such a big deal.”

“But… there’s no way they’re already falling for me like that, right? I’ve just arrived… maybe they just wanted to protect me better because I’m a human?”

“You love pink sounds more sensible than the words that just came out from your mouth just now.” Ricardo summed it up for her. Ended the whole debate.

“But Sarco gave his blood to me earlier…” That makes Ricardo turn his head faster than lightning. This is so fun, he could make fun of Sarco all the way he wants now.

“Things are getting spicy, I guess!” Ricardo laughs like a madman. “Iolana, you’re one of a kind. Congratulations.”

“Is that even a good thing…?” Iolana is unsure that this is something to be proud of.

“The royal-chaser ladies would die to be in your position.” Ricardo informed. “Get ready for the hates.”

“I never socialize, and this is what I get for my first time?” Iolana let out a deep breath.

“Sounds fun, right? I love drama.” Ricardo smiles widely.

“Oh, you’re some troublemaker.” They finally reached the door. Sarco is standing in the corner like some creep.

“You do know that we could see you nice and clear, right?” Even the dim lights couldn’t hide his tall and pale figure.

“I was just leaning on the concrete.” Sarco is really bad at lying, Ricardo was right.

“So, Iolana, from the seven of us, who do you think is the most handsome?” Ricardo intentionally hits her with that question.

Sarco froze, thanks to the dim light, they couldn’t really tell.

“Well, you’re all handsome. I’m not lying because my brother was a gorgeous man, so he kind of set my standards up.” Iolana admits. “But I personally drowned to someone like Jestel, Saine, or Sarco. They have this hint of mysterious behavior? If you know what I mean. This is in term of physical appearance.”

“Cool!” Ricardo laughed at Sarco’s reaction. He looks so ugly holding himself together like that.

“But I think, Jusarlie has this handsomeness that grows overtime? The more you look at him, the more handsome he would be.” Iolana worded it perfectly. “It is dangerous, that kind of attractiveness is sometimes irresistible.”

“Jusarlie, huh?” Ricardo could see Sarco is totally pissed now. It’s so fun to watch.

“Saine and Sarco? Very beautiful to look at, very gorgeous. But Jusarlie? Hypnotizing. It’s like he could end up an inch away from me, but I wouldn’t even recognize it.”

“That is a massive compliment, I’m glad Jusarlie didn’t hear all of that.” Sarco tries to laugh at Iolana’s words. He just hopes that Ricardo didn’t tell her about the blood things.

“He’s very… tempting. At least for me.” Iolana shrugged her shoulder.

“What type of handsome am I?” Ricardo is curious now.

“You’re the cunning type, in a good way. It’s actually similar to Saine, but different in the details. You both look like you will hate everyone but your girl. While Saine is more of the sweet and serious type, you’re the type to be joking around and make her laugh.” Iolana explained what she feels about Ricardo’s face type.

“I would never want to be in the same class as you during Idris or Saine’s lecture. You will end the whole class.” Ricardo is dumbfounded, why does she have to read him like an open book like that?

“Excuse me, who are—oh, my vamp! Sir Sarco, I apologize. We didn’t recognize you earlier.” A group of vampires just came. They’re probably the said butlers and maids that Sarco told Iolana about.

“That’s alright. I bring you Iolana Sterling today.” Sarco presented Iolana to them.

“Iolana? Sir Tearle’s child?!” Sarco created a huge fuss amongst the butlers and maids.

“Thank you for your loyalty, I’ll pay for your priceless dedication.” Iolana smiles at them.

“No, no, no. We’re devoted our lives to serving Sterling. It is our duty to continue even if the masters are not here. However, we’re so thankful for Sir Sarco—” One of the maids suddenly froze.

Iolana turns her head to Sarco who’s currently using his power to keep that maid silent. His eyes are slightly glowing red. Meaning… it’s just a little sneak peak of his real power. Of course. He’s a Phelanflame after all.

“Sarco?”

The said guy lets out a nervous giggle, “Yes, Iolana?”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Sarco smiles.

“He takes care of them and he also the one who stood with them when the royals want to turn your house to a museum.” Ricardo spilled it out.

“Great, now you’re not on my side anymore.” Sarco sighed and let go of his power to the maid earlier.

“Sarco, did you really do that?” Iolana is touched.

“Yes, I hope you’re not angry.”

“I’m anything but angry. Sarco, thank you.” Iolana is really thankful, Sarco is not as cold as he appears to be. He’s actually the most considerate person she’s ever met.

“I’m just doing my job.” If Sarco is a human, he’s a blushing mess right now. “You should see the house. You never experience it, right?”

“Ah, right! This way, Sir and Ma’am.” One of the butlers opens the front door. “I’m Rupert, the head butler, I’ve been working for Sterling since three hundred years ago.”

“My father told me about you a lot, Rupert. I’m so sorry, your brother died when Slevado strike us.” Iolana informed him.

“He died in honor, Ma’am.” Rupert gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m sure he’s proud of it.”

Sarco and Ricardo watch the scene in front of them with admiring eyes. You’d be lucky if you found a good butler or maid for the house, Sterling has a bunch of the best maids and butlers. Ricardo heard they can fight too, with their skill and loyalty… Ricardo is unsure they could find anyone like them in this nation.

“Excuse me for being presumptuous, Ma’am. Is Sir Tama…?” Rupert asked Iolana about her brother.

“As far as I know, he probably is. I don’t know, I can’t feel him.” Iolana answered honestly.

“We can do whatever we could to help you find him, if that’s what you like, Ma’am,”

“Maybe, I want to rest for a bit. I’ll tell you if I’m ready. Thank you, Rupert.” Iolana gave him a smile.

“I’ll take you to the archive room, Ma’am. Follow me.”

—

Idris is feeling calm and happy today. He doesn’t even know why. He just does. He made a cup of chocolate and sat on his favorite spot in his mansion. A spot where he could see the entire nation, not as wide as the view in the castle, but enough to entertain his eyes. Idris lets out a deep sigh, it is rare to have a day like this.

Just when he’s feeling very thankful for this day, a sudden wave of sound and pieces of pictures attack his mind. “Oh my, another one?” Idris gave in and tried to focus on the vision that the universe was about to give him.

“I have an idea, we can test if Iolana is dead or alive.” Holstein laughed at himself. He’s always doing that when he knows his idea will work.

“How?”

“Put a hex on her but link it to her brother. If she gets sick, make sure Tama will get sick too. We can tell if she’s alive or not.” Holstein smiles widely, it almost scares Idris.

“We could try, let’s go.”

Idris gasped when the vision ended. He should tell Jestel about this.

TO BE CONTINUED...

; YOUR CUTE REBLOGS AND COMMENTS MAKE ME FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL <3 ; FEEL FREE TO HIT MY ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION ABOUT THE WORLD BUILDING OR CHARACTER!

© ily-sunghoon, 2024 DO NOT COPY, STEAL, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORM DO NOT TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

[juni-ravenhall]

updated these since the old ones were from 2020. not much is different, erased with white a bunch of options to make it easier to look at for me, changed some minor numbers that dont rly matter bc its not that easy to put those numbers down anyway.

some talk thats mostly about their relation to me and stuff about me instead of stuff about them below ⬇ (actually i should fill one of those out for me myself too. that could be fun)

i adjusted junis brother a bit focusing on just how hes like at the moment of having been rescued to jorvik, rather than thinking about his potential "real personality" if he was able to heal and become a more developed person instead of just full of trauma. i do want to eventually do something with the concept of what if he healed, or what if he hadnt been abandoned in pandoria to begin with? if hes intj like me (his behaviour is based on how i am when im completely broken down, which sadly has happened a lot in my life) then what would it be like to see him healthy and happy? its stuff id like to think about more eventually

also filled in that juni is enfj. back then i wasnt so sure what parts of her were different than me, over time i developed it and she really clearly became enfj. we both share high Ni aka my dominant function as intj but her dom Fe plays into the whole constantly being in contact w ppl thing - im also very caring and loyal, and i genuinely want to save everyone on earth and want everyone to be healthy and happy. i want society to be fixed (and ive got the ideas) and i want ppl to be kind and loving to each other. me and juni share that. but for me, i cant really handle talking to normies much bc their reality is just too different than mine. juni has no problem socialising with anyone, even if she ofc also has ppl shes the closest to and others who she might not get along with as much, its still easy for her bc Fe just has that harmonising feelings thing with others that i dont have (and being a dominant extrovert function, and not being ND, shes also not as exhausted by socialisation).

for me with low Fi i just dont really get much out of socialising for socialisations sake. its part of why i cant handle being on discord servers and stuff like that. i dont "vibe" with people in that way, i want to actually have interesting and intimate conversations and learn more about my friends, their backstory, their problems (can i help them?), their deep and genuine feelings (not stemming from copying others and peer pressure, group-think is extremely irrelevant to me and i dont view people differently if theyre supposedly in-group or out-group - im interested in everyone as an individual). for my whole life ive just been too different and for many reasons not been part of normie's society, so its just really alien to talk to normies. (as in, the abuse and isolation, the disability, the ptsd and depression, the queerness, and also just being intj, not really having a normal brain. i often wonder if the ppl who say bad things about mbti - besides the obvious "job and school mbti use is bad" yeah it is - have known what its like to just not be able to relate to almost anyone around you ever when it comes to personality. even online, even in a nerdy group, even in a place with ND people, even with queer people, even with disabled people, youre still different. you still cant relate. for me, finding out that im just a weird personality type was really important, and then i was able to study other ppl's personality types and now i actually get why people behave the way they do and why society functions the way it does for better or worse. which is a great thing to understand imo. the "omg mbti bad bc jobs and school and the tests are dumb" is one thing, but studying the functions and really truly diving into how other people function and how theyre different from you and how you all work and how the human history of the world has happened, is beautiful to me.)

as a low Fi person, with a focus on 1-on-1 connection rather than groups, i focus on talking intensely to the beloved weirdos on my computer, or posting my rambles and reading you guys rambles in return. u guys prob dont even realise, but for a lot of u, i remember like... u posting about ur job or school one time. what u posted about that u wanted to do or what ur upset about. i think about what ur ocs symbolise, why u write them that way, what part of ur personality and your lived experience, your feelings, makes u project this or that on characters. i think that a lot of ppl treat social media as a more shallow and "a drop in the ocean" type of thing, but for me, even ppl ive not talked to much on my dash, if youve been my mutual for some time, i think about you and remember things about you. if you post music i listen to it both to see if i might like the song but also bc im interested in what you like. i like learning things about people around me, the same way i like learning things about the world in general and spend obscene amounts of time studying and analysing the world both in its current and past. its an intj thing because its about my dominant Ni function, which loves analysing patterns and taking in information to process. but i dont mean that in a cold way, its an intimacy and friendship to me to learn things about you and understand you. not to "vibe" but to really know someone and see the puzzle pieces of their life. im very much about all the puzzle pieces that makes you You. im not saying its wrong to vibe and chill instead of analysing your mutuals like puzzles, just that this is something thats very different from how i am, and its been hard for me in life to relate to the way most people are.

idk if anyones reading this but some of you also prob noticed that i will pop out of nowhere and talk to you about some random thing you posted thats interesting to me, or send you a message of support if youre going through hard times. i remember when you posted that you were really sad and i notice that youre having a hard time when you post that youre sad again a month later. idk, its hard for me because im not always very emotional in a way that other people understand. i can come off as cold or quiet which in turn can come off as disinterested. but i just wanted to write it somewhere, to put out into the cosmos, that actually i care a lot about the little creatures on my dashboard and i hope that you notice even if my personality and behaviour is a bit different than what people are used to. people project mean things on me sometimes because im confident, for example, or because i stand up against things i think are harmful. because im not "loyal" if i tell a friend that theyre being rude, or im "rude" if im saying capitalism is bad. i can be projected as controlling (telling people "no" when theyre mean) or self-important (being confident in my skills and analysis) and other negative traits which is really unfair to do to someone just bc theyre different. to me i view everyone equally and i will tell off a friend if i have to, without meaning anything unkind by it. idk. ill stop rambling now bc its too much again (high Te will also do that) but i just have feelings and thoughts about that my beloved mutuals dont even know that theyre beloved and that my way of expressing myself is weird and its hard to live in society based around ppl who are very different than me in many ways. but learning mbti / jung functions was really great for me to feel understood and to understand others.

[stranger-rants]

If you demonize Billy's mental state, then you are literally just being ableist. Billy isn't a "psycho," or "demented," or "demonic" for the way he acts. The way he acts isn't uncommon among people who are surviving abuse.

A person who has CPTSD doesn't have a neurotypical brain. Surprise. A person's body and mind aren't supposed to be in a constant state of fight or flight, but that's what happens when a person is abused for a prolonged period.

There's a reason for his behavior, but you're uncomfortable acknowledging that so instead you decide to be an ableist asshole instead by making him out to be Pure Evil just because his brain doesn't function "correctly."

You don't have to like what he says and does to realize that, hey, maybe being abused for a long time makes it difficult for him to regulate emotions and cope with stress, and maybe people like him need help in order to get better.

This idea that Billy should "know better" when it comes to everything he does ignores the fact that he is not functioning like a normal person! His brain DOESN'T WORK the way you want it to because that's what trauma does to people!

It fucks up your brain!

Especially if you've actually sustained head injuries from physical abuse, which we know he has.

There is a significant body of evidence that shows that this trauma can impact the brain and body long term and that children who grow up to be adults with CPTSD don't function like "neurotypical" people.

Do away with the assumption that Billy is able to function the way you want him to. I'm not saying he's not capable of "doing better," but the demands you put on traumatized people can be extremely unrealistic AND ableist.

Especially without help or support systems! You're literally bootstrapping mental health, which doesn't help anyone.

If you do "understand" that he has been traumatized, but then you rant about how "that's not an excuse" and pair that with calling him ableist terms then you don't really understand it at all, because it actually is an excuse.

It's an excuse for him to get help, because obviously he needs it. It's an excuse for adults to recognize he needs help instead of abuse or incarceration. It's an excuse for people to humanize his character, and talk about why he's more than his behavior.

And I've heard the "he didn't ask for help" argument already, and to that point it takes everything in my power not to scream at you HELLO! That's because he's behaving like a traumatized person! He doesn't know how to ask for help!

How about you stop using your ableism as an excuse to demonize Billy's mental state, because you should know better right? You should know that doing so ends up with people like Billy getting further abused or worse.

If you say he was too far gone, you're ableist. If you say he's a psychopath or sociopath, you're ableist. If you say he didn't ask or want help, you're ableist. If you would rather argue all day that he was Pure Evil than acknowledge his needs, you're ableist!

You hate mentally ill people who don't present as sweet docile creatures who you can easily fix, and it would destroy you to acknowledge that sometimes traumatized people do bad things because then you'd have to reevaluate how you treat them.

You know he was abused. I am telling you that abuse impacts the brain. There's no excuse for you to then continue on to demonize him for that.

[eldritchamy]

WAIT hold on hi abt the tags on the post about terfs being stupid about periods you reblogged - does HRT really end up causing similar hormone change cycles to periods? i've never heard abt that before and it's kind of boggling my mind because on the one hand why WOULDN'T HRT do that but on the other hand why WOULD it?

So keep in mind I am not an expert on the subject and everything I’m about to tell you is for the purpose of introducing you to the subject matter.

The short answer is yes. And it’s not similar to periods. It’s EXACTLY periods. Caused by the exact same hormones interacting with the body in the exact same way.

So yes it does happen, and it happens because a period doesn’t come from a uterus. It comes from the hypothalamus. A uterus is just the organ most noticeably affected by it. A uterus is not necessary whatsoever to experience period symptoms.

Everyone has a hypothalamus. It’s just a little thing in your brain that does some endocrine/hormone stuff. Under the right hormone conditions, ANYONE can have period symptoms. Not everyone can bleed because you need uterine lining tissue for that (some amab intersex people do! I’ve read at least one account from an amab person who found out they were intersex BECAUSE they had a small amount of uterine lining in their rectum which caused monthly bleeding when they hit puberty).

But literally every other period symptom is fair game.

And yes, that sucks.

If you want quick links to some sources I’ve read about the subject without clicking through for my rambling bullshit, here:

Yes, Trans Women Can Get Period Symptoms (2016)

Cycle Dynamic - Why Trans Women Can Have Periods (2018)

If you DO want my rambling bullshit, buckle up because I’m Very Normal when I find a subject interesting.

The background fact you need to understand the rest of this is that the human body doesn’t actually HAVE separate “versions” of anything for ‘male’ and ‘female’ bodies (I may be using these terms more liberally than they should really be used for ease of reading, but for the record the gender binary is bullshit, which is the point of where this is going). Even a penis is just a modified clitoris. It’s not an analogous structure. It’s literally the exact same organ. (And it does change in response to hormones).

The human body is just the human body. It decides how it behaves based on chemistry, not genetics. There are CERTAIN STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT (namely embryonic/EARLY fetal and puberty) in which major diversions in form and function happen. And of those embryonic is faaaaaaar more significant because it’s what sets the harder to change things (primary sex characteristics) in place. Most secondary sex characteristics can be changed later just by changing the hormone chemistry of your body, which is the entire principle behind why HRT is possible.

At no point ever in the entire span of a human life cycle does anything like “oh okay, you have a BOY hypothalamus :) enjoy :)” happen. You just have the same hypothalamus as everyone else, barring medical conditions.

SO. Basically how it works is your hypothalamus knows how much estrogen is in your body at any given time, and if it notices a spike in that level, it says to itself, “OH SHIT! WE HAVE A MATURE EGG! Time to MAKE SOME CHANGES.”

Your hypothalamus does not know or care whether you have a uterus. It only responds to the estrogen cycle.

Both cis and trans women (and anyone else who either has a working uterus or takes an estrogen supplement, but again, using simple language to get the ideas across) have estrogen cycles.

In CIS women, the estrogen cycle is internal and based on ovulation. TL;DR, your ovaries release different amounts of estrogen throughout the cycle based on the maturity of an egg cell.

In TRANS women, the estrogen cycle is external because we get our estrogen from pills or injections instead of from ovaries, and it’s based on how your body metabolizes that medication. You usually get a big hit around the time you get the dosage and then it tapers off until you take the next dose. Back to this in a second.

IN EITHER CASE, your hypothalamus tracks those changes and responds to them by releasing the period hormones (GnRH (Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone), FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone), LH (Leutinizing Hormone)) at a certain point in that cycle. When your hypothalamus feels that estrogen spike, it doesn’t CARE where that estrogen came from because it’s not its JOB to know where the estrogen came from. It only cares that it’s there. And you have the exact same hypothalamus no matter what genitals you have.

This next bit is speculation on my part based on experience and anecdotal evidence, but it seems like the greater and more predictable the VARIATION over the course of that cycle, the easier it is for your hypothalamus to be like “AHA! NOW!” and keep you on a regular cycle. Trans women who take INJECTIONS, which are on a much longer release schedule than pills, tend to experience more ups and downs in their estrogen levels and more noticeable, and regular, period symptoms. FOR ME, I’ve only ever been on pills, at a few different dosages. Earlier on I noticed that for (surprise) about 3 to 5 days every month, I would get all kinds of symptoms like headaches, backaches, joint aches, muscle aches, irritability, mood swings, depressive episodes, odd cravings (usually just crunchy and salty but sometimes really specific things), bloating, cramps (yes really), gastrointestinal stuff, etc. I suspect, with no evidence either way, that these symptoms were mild, but I’ve heard other trans women describe their symptoms as much less severe than mine, so idk.

ALSO earlier on, I used to take all of my pills at once, one time per day. I noticed something interesting when I switched to splitting my dosage and taking half twice a day: a huge reduction in severity and regularity of period symptoms. My levels are a lot more consistent throughout the day now, and I guess my hypothalamus can no longer sense a spike in my levels. (It used to be ESPECIALLY severe when I ran out and it took a few days to get my prescriptions refilled, cause then I had an estrogen crash (which gives you symptoms of menopause and wow THAT’S a wild ride, hot flashes are the actual worst) followed by a spike when I got back on them and almost always would have a super noticeable period within days of this happening).

So when I started spreading my dosage throughout the day, I basically made my hypothalamus too confused to know when to release those hormones. Either that or it thinks I’m pregnant. I’m not sure.

Coming back from that tangent.

It is a VERY KNOWN THING that when you take estrogen INJECTIONS, you need to work with your doctors a bit to figure out the exact dosage and timing that works best for you, because a lot of the time what happens with that is you’ll experience pretty severe dysphoria and depression symptoms in the days leading up to your next injection, and if this describes the experience of anyone you know, congrats, that’s PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder), and you need your injections to be a few days closer together to prevent those symptoms. It’s literally your body experiencing an estrogen crash because your last dose wore off too long before you got the next one. This is also more common in people who take Progesterone.

The long and short of what happens when your hypothalamus registers an estrogen spike is that it releases the period hormones, which basically among other things go down to your abdomen and say W̶̫̬̒I̶̧̬̤͛Ĝ̴̦͆̽G̴̢̞̈́L̴̩͖̂E̷͇̲̊͐̀. And if you have a uterus, all that wiggling is what makes your uterus cramp up and squeeze out its lining and start bleeding. It ALSO has the delightful side effect of not really caring enough to target the uterus specifically, so it also makes your INTESTINES start cramping up and squeezing themselves, so fun fact that’s where period shits come from if you have those.

Everybody say “thank you, hypothalamus.”

So yeah that’s why it happens. The TL;DR is blame the hypothalamus. The human body is differentiated by chemistry not chromosomes. Put the right chemistry in place and you can absolutely get periods.

And yes, they suck for us too.

[borom1r]

WEIRD fuckin ask but we talked about it once and it would not exit the brain. Flavours of neurodivergence within the fellowship: discuss?

OGH. no, good ask. good ask I love it. AUTISM FLAVORED bc that is my own experience :3

Aragorn— autism of the “I Am 100% A Changeling, I Have No Idea How To Relate To Humanity” variety. like yea being partly raised by elves didn’t help but he absolutely wandered around mimicking people to learn how to Behave Like A Person. autism trait absorption for the win!! comes to Minas Tirith and gets a painful crash course in masking, but never quite figured out how to Not stare at someone like a feral cat when he wants something from them (despite the Stare, HATES eye contact)

Boromir— OPPOSITE AUTISM. very direct. EXTREMELY rigid routines. military history special interest (literally just undiagnosed dad autism). probably has food sensitivities but he’s spent so long as a soldier he can just eat anything now. he hates it and he won’t eat a big portion of non-safe foods, but at least he can swallow them. he IS absolutely 100% undiagnosed and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong but if he doesn’t get to perfectly make his bed every morning he will be in a Noticeably Bad Mood for the rest of the day < does not understand that this isn’t normal

Gandalf— oh there’s definitely something going on there, but good luck with figuring THAT out

Legolas— AuDHD king. the autism/ADHD comorbidity is real and he barely bothers to mask. least of all in front of men?? he’s an elf prince and you expect him to act “normal” by human standards? I love how jacked up the Hobbit film timeline is bc Thranduil implying to Legolas “yeah go hang out in Rivendell with a ten year old” is SO funny. canon to me tho. there was a very significant chunk of time where Aragorn was just Mini Legolas. hell world for civilized Rivendell elves. unlike Aragorn, however, prefers very direct eye contact. WILL fully hit you with the 👁️👁️ almost unblinking for a whole conversation

Gimli— I’m gonna be real here. I think neurotypical but in the sense of like. literally nobody cares. dwarves are craftsmen, artisans, smiths, you think they’re going to risk squandering talent simply because somebody needs some accommodations? are you nuts???? like yea maybe somebody’s a Little Weird Sometimes but they can work the forge just fine or tool leather for straps/handle wraps, or draft designs, or stamp metal for decorations, like?? doesn’t particularly grasp the need for labels when you can just work with ppl to figure out what’s best for them + then everyone’s happy. fully has to stew on the fact that Men Don’t Do That, men are actually very rigid about what is socially acceptable and won’t provide accommodations Unless there is a label. wild.

Frodo— autism/depression hell combination. no meltdowns, only shutdowns. auditory processing disorder!! definitely also has poor temperature regulation (CONSTANTLY cold). hey did u know that’s a symptom of ASD? crazy. WILD. anyways. Sam knows he can barely handle the feeling of mittens/gloves so half the time when they’re hanging out is Sam just holding Frodo’s hands so they actually fucking warm up for a bit. not too rigid about Big routines, most of his are Little (always putting a specific amount of sugar in his tea, for example)

Sam— neurotypical but in the sense of my dad where he was just SO used to me being Autistically Strange that he was just like. “well, that’s Strider!” < blissfully unaware. fully just SO used to whatever’s going on w/ Frodo+Merry that it’s Normal to him. like wdym they’re different?? those are just his friends?? hello??

Merry— ADHDDDDDDDDD. and look ik Tolkien said pipeweed is just tobacco but that’s a lie and we all know it, right? right. self-medicating with pipeweed.

Pippin— neurotypical but Pippin-flavored

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

The Moments of Happiness and the Meaning of Rhyming

Yeah, weird title, I know.

Also, I know I don't post much here anymore. I have other hyperfixations. But, I still occasionally have Cats-related things to say.

I have some things to say about The Moments of Happiness, the number that opens the second act of the show. Since it's not a dance number and not very catchy, it's often ignored. Some people find it boring. Strangely, I think the fact that it's slow, not catchy, and hard to follow is kind of the point.

What's happening in the story here is that, after the Jellicle Ball at the end of act one, Grizabella shows up and gets rejected by the tribe again. Everyone runs away and hides for a bit, except for Old Deuteronomy, who sits on his throne in the back while Grizabella sings the first part of Memory. Being the Big Good of the show, Old D already likes Griz and wants the tribe to be nice to her. As the leader, you'd think he could just tell the others to behave, but he wants them to understand why they should except Grizabella. A lot of the respect the tribe has for him probably comes from the fact that he doesn't just tell them what to do.

So, after intermission, all the cats come out of hiding and gather around Old Deuteronomy and he tries to explain the themes of Grizabella's role in the story. You experience moments of happiness throughout your life, but your memories of them are something else, and that something has value and...it actually doesn't really matter if the human audience gets it or not. The lecture isn't for us.

But, nobody's getting it. Well, it kind of depends on the production and interpretation here. In replica productions, the way the story usually goes, nobody's getting it. Old D knows that he needs to simplify the message somehow, but it's not really what he does. Honestly, he's just been thinking out loud this whole time and has no idea what he's doing. He basically simplifies the message by sending it through a simpler brain. Coricopat and Tantomile, the most telepathic of cats, help him out here. They sort of connect his mind to Jemima's mind. Jemima is the youngest cat in the tribe. Her mind is not complicated and very open, so it's easy to speak through her. She falls into a trance and delivers Old D's message in her own words, simple words that everyone can understand.

I'm writing this mainly to talk about a detail of the number that sort of allows the audience to feel what the tribe is feeling throughout this, though this isn't exactly universal.

Basically, though not all English language poetry rhymes, it usually does. This is especially true with songs lyrics. Songs in English that were originally written in English almost always rhyme. This is also the case for most European languages. I say that it's not universal because Cats is very popular in Japan and Japanese songs usually don't rhyme. It's just not a priority there. If you listen to Japanese dubs or translations of English songs, you'll notice that the rhyme scheme isn't followed. It's not something Japanese listeners would probably notice. Meanwhile, when Japanese songs are translated into English, you might actually notice that it doesn't rhyme. Listening to the song in Japanese, it sounds normal. But it sounds weird in English. The best English translations of Japanese songs tend to add a rhyme scheme into it to sound more natural in English.

Yeah, I'm getting a little side-tracked here but it's a cool thing I noticed.

So, in English, and a lot of other languages, songs usually rhyme. Why's that important? If you primarily listen to music in a language where songs rhyme, you begin to intuitively expect it. The lack of rhyming starts to mean something. It doesn't mean that the song is bad. There are situations where English song lyrics not rhyming works. The example I usually think of for this is Strawberry Fields Forever. Try to find Beatles songs when explaining music and lyrics. Everyone's listened to the Beatles. Anyway, though the chorus sort of rhymes (fields/real), the verses don't. If you look at the lyrics of the song, this actually makes sense. When you have lyrics like:

I think, I know, I mean...a yes, but it's all wrong

That isn't a coherent sentence. It sounds like someone's thoughts unfiltered. It works as an expression of emotion, but it's not carefully composed. It's raw. It's stream of consciousness. And you're thoughts, raw, unfiltered, don't rhyme. When you're writing rhyming lyrics, you have to think carefully about the words. A lack of rhyme conveys "I'm talking without really thinking through what I'm going to say. This is all off the top of my head."

Old Deuteronomy's part of The Moments of Happiness doesn't rhyme. Every other song in the show rhymes at least a little. Old Deuteronomy is just thinking out loud here. He's still figuring things out as he goes. That's why it's so hard to follow. It's harder to follow the lyrics, so the audience tends to get lost here, which is exactly what's happening to the characters listening.

Then you have Jemima's "Moonlight" bit. We go back to rhyming. There's clarity there that there isn't in the rest of the number. The words have been rephrased in a way that's easier to understand and follow. When you're used to songs rhyming, your brain sort of maps itself onto the rhyme scheme. You follow the lyrics by picking up on and anticipating the rhyme. So we go from something that's hard to follow to something that's easy to follow. Even if you don't get the actual message of what's being said here, the feeling of confusion and clarity is still there.

So, that's pretty cool, I guess.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

hi, im the person whos sent you those rude asks trying to get a reaction, but after thinking about it, id like to apologise for my behaviour. i realise now how immature and ridiculous it was, and that i was just trying to get negative attention because i was bored and too miserable to be able to have any better form of interaction with anyone. but whatever immature reason, i know taking out my personal issues on a stranger i found mildy annoying is really bad behaviour and i shouldnt have done it. im really sorry if i caused any genuine offence when i criticised your writing of which i know nothing about, and im sorry for all those rude and immature and completely random asks i kept spamming you with just because i was bored. it wasnt personal or anything it was sort of random and i dont even know why i did it, it sounds nuts when i think about it. ill stop doing all this rubbish and leave you alone from now on, i wont even do it to anyone else. i just wanted to say that i recognise now that im in the wrong and was acting really rubbishly

Anon...

Honestly, it became apparent almost immediately that you were trying to goad me into giving you attention because you weren't getting any and you were likely jealous I have figured out how to get attention, and...honestly...

That made it easier to keep ignoring you. Because it was so incredibly apparent that what you were doing was entirely about you being upset and jealous and not having the emotional maturity to admit that or do anything productive about it. It wasn't interesting, or relevant to me.

I've never sent anonymous hate mail to anyone (or signed hate mail), but I definitely had a lot of very unstable years where I reacted very badly in social interactions and behaved honestly embarrassingly for the same reasons. You said that you find actually admitting things and liking attention is embarrassing...but I would rather be embarrassed by that than embarrassed about lying to myself.

It's social media! We all want interaction and attention!

But the thing is, making friends and getting attention is often rooted in being positive and loving and affectionate about things. I have so many followers on here because I talk about the things they love with ardent passion. I had a huge surge of followers recently for making a positivity post for original fiction writers encouraging people.

One of your first messages to me told me I don't respond to hate mail "normally" because I actually express genuine hurt when people are mean to me. But that is a normal human reaction. And you know that. I have always been a very open, genuine, and earnest person, so I cannot relate to wrapping yourself in hate, but I spent many years wrapped in anger and jealousy, and the thing that got me out of it was therapy.

Seriously. Therapy, and psychiatric medication. Because my personal brain chemistry means I need that.

And I encourage you to also seek out some kind of professional medical help, because you seem so genuinely miserable and directionless in your life that you need help finding a direction to pursue.

So I genuinely hope you do do that and it helps make you a happier person who hopefully doesn't go into social spaces intentionally poisoning things and making other people miserable because you are miserable. That's what you're doing right now.

But you can also choose to make social spaces more heartfelt and welcoming and warm and kind by adding that to the environment instead. It's a lot of work, sometimes, but it's worth it to me and to people in general.

And you did still hurt my feelings, even though I knew it had nothing to do with me. That's the cost of how you're behaving: you hurt people, and they don't like you very much or want to interact with you, and then you end up lonely and ignored because you're not acting like the kind of person anyone wants to pay attention to.

I'm glad my inbox will return to normal. I hope you find a great hobby that has absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever.

[eldritch-spouse]

Is Breg being exclusively into humans more of a sexual orientation or a fetish? What if Breb's obsession is totally oblivious to his feelings because she's also 100% into humans, (like a straight man with a crush on a lesbian.)

I think his delusions and double standards would blow up in his face: it's a totally valid orientation for him, but it's soooo unfair of her not to give monsters a chance 😤

And we know he wouldn't give up on his angel, being the delusional creep that he is, so how would he proceed from here?

(BTW, I'm not asking in a "how would Breg react to me" way--I'm browsing a yandere-terato blog for a reason. I'm just asking for the drama lol)

[ B r e b ]

Is it a fetish? Is it a sexual orientation? Does it matter at this point?? Whichever lane you sit on, reality remains the same- Breg is not attracted to monsters. I'd go as far as to say that Breg's fixation on humans is a very bizarre way he found to cope with his own nature, in a way that doesn't make him feel bad about his own sexuality. In a way that lets him lead an almost semi-normal existence. Shifting the blame and insurmountable hatred to an entire faction, and leaning heavily onto the other, as nonsensical as it seems- It had to be done. It was the only thing his brain could provide.

Part of why Breg tries so hard (at least in his eyes) to integrate into human society and behave in a way that a human might in plenty of circumstances, is because a part of him is trying to prepare him for the possibility that you'll reject him purely because he's a monster. After all, if he was a human, he would reject himself. Because monsters are trouble, monsters are bad, monsters hurt.

A couple of his appeasing mannerisms have been revealed so far. The breeder will hunch on himself, he magically dulls his teeth to make them appear more "human", he fixates on the stereotypical domestic lifestyle of humans, he'll try to deflect your attention from his lack of eyes or other inhuman features-

He's extremely insecure around you!

He fears this. Even if there's a loving delusion taking up his thoughts, protecting him from emotional harm- A hidden, very quiet part of Breg is extremely scared, and works in the background to prevent confrontations.

If you asked Breg directly why he, for example, dulls his teeth, the monster would likely say something like "Oh, I just like them better this way." But you know that's a lie, right? You know he does it so as to not scare you, to not remind you that he's a dangerous monster, because he wants to be human, so you can love him more easily.

However, this truth contradicts his fantasy. So he can't admit it.

What's the point here?

Nothing changes.

Breg won't acknowledge you're solely into humans. Because it shatters everything he's put together. This nervous, concealed part of him will keep working tirelessly to humanize himself behind the scenes.

And when it inevitably fails, when you keep rejecting him, then the lid flies off and things get very ugly very fast.

If all you're going to do with that tongue is tell lies, then you don't really need it, do you?

[kyluxtrashpit]

Okay so. This is going to be a ramble no one cares about but I just have to get it out lmao. I’ve been watching gundam witch from mercury because I’m both a lesbian and a huge gundam fan, so the prospect of a gundam series WITH lesbians is like. What you’d put in my lab experiment reward bottle lmao. That sounds amazing

Thing is though… I want to like the show. I do. I really do. Especially because I just know there are fanboys out there pissing on it immediately cause how dare there be women and gays in “their” show. But. I just. I don’t love it. I find it frustrating to be perfectly honest. I will say season 2 so far as improved GREATLY on season 1 (wtf was the point of 10 episodes of weird high school slice of life drama in a gundam series anyway, it was incredibly boring). But I still am not loving it and if season 2 doesn’t deliver by the end, I’m gonna give up on it

However! I have devised what I would consider a fix for the show. And I’m sure people who actually like it, were they to stumble across this post, would be very unhappy with my fixes lmao but. I stand by them and I’m rambling them here solely so they’ll stop rolling around in my brain. So here we go (spoilers below)

So. First off, gonna really commit to the shoujo-ai/yuri vibes by going full strawberry panic. If we have to have a school, I’m making it an all girl’s school. There are no men there. There is now 0 percent chance of even the slightest hint of heterosexuality among the students. Men can still be like in the political stuff, dads play a big role in this show, but why do we need male students? We don’t. I’m making them all girls now. This will be important later and it's not like it's uncommon in anime, especially in the femslash genre

Second thing: my main issue with this show is Suletta’s lack of emotional reaction to… fucking anything. She’ll be sad for like 30 seconds when something genuinely devastating happens and then it’s over, she got hungry, a friend acknowledged her, she watered tomatoes - boom, she’s cured. Being abandoned/rejected the 3 most important beings in her life in like a week span left her sad for a couple of days (which we didn’t even see - there was literally one like 5 second shot of her lying in a bed and that’s it), sure, but as soon as she gets hungry and her friends say 2 words to her, she’s 100% back to normal. That is insane. That is not how human emotions work. I don’t know whether it’s her character itself or the way her character is written that irks me so much, but I have never seen a less engaging protagonist character like… ever. And I almost never like anime protagonists so that’s impressive. I don’t even dislike her character, I just find her immensely boring to the point where I feel nothing about her except the frustration of what a waste her character is in this setting. If she died in the next episode, all I would feel is surprise, not sadness. It’s like the narrative has no ability to affect or change her - what the hell is the point of her then??? Guel, previously most obnoxious and hate-able character in the show, was made interesting by the narrative, yet the protagonist remains unaffected by it and therefore remains about as interesting as paint drying. Why????? It’s such a waste. But anyway

So if Suletta does not behave like, you know, a person, what does she behave like? Well I would say she has the exact emotional depth of a golden retriever. Bubbly, highly social, a bit anxious, wants to help and be a part of everything, never stays sad for long - that’s a golden retriever right there. It's not good writing, but it's precisely what the writers have done here

So, what if she was literally a golden retriever?

So. Everything’s the same except it’s an all girl’s school now and Suletta is now literally a dog. World’s first mobile suit piloting dog. They send her to the school as sort of a test, to see if this dog can outperform the ace student pilots there. A dog would also still want to rescue Miorine at the start, so this stays intact. Highly social dogs like to be helpful

So. Guel is a girl now and gets her ass kicked by a dog - this is even more humiliating and drives her spiral just as well, if not better. Miorine is also now stuck engaged to a dog, which further cements how dehumanizing and humiliating this marriage arrangement thing is for her and further shows what a piece of shit her father is. The rich spacians would also be super insulted by even the idea that a dog could be a match or better than them, so she'd still end up with the earthians and all that. So the plot remains exactly the same, literally no change

“But KTP, dogs can’t pilot mobile suits!” You cry. But the thing is - the dog isn’t actually doing it. Eri is, because Aerial is sentient. We don’t even know if Suletta as a human is actually any better than average at piloting because of that - she doesn’t need to be, so she probably isn't. So the dog doesn’t actually need to be good or even at all capable, just throw some buttons in there that make it look like the dog is piloting and you’re good. That’s all you need. No one, including the dog, would know better except Eri and Prospera

Prospera - she’s the dog’s owner/trainer. Her grief after losing Eri makes her pursue this. Maybe Eri loved dogs, was obsessed with them, so Prospera got her a dog - even in her current form. And then the plan was born

And because Suletta is a dog and people like dogs, the care she inspires in Miorine and others honestly makes more sense. Of course they want to protect this dog and make her happy and let her be free of these complicated plans and things. She’s a dog. Dogs should be playing and getting belly rubs and being happy. So Miorine, Prospera, and Eri/Aerial all agreeing that Suletta should be set free from their machinations before shit gets real also makes WAY MORE sense. Because it’s both good for the dog AND everyone else cause the last thing you'd want involved in all this is a dog

And, because we made everyone girls at the start, Miorine could go into a romance with literally any character and it’d still be the lesbian gundam except now there’s just also a dog there who behaves identically to human Suletta except for not being able to talk. Because if your protagonist is so much more a plot device than a character that you could replace her with a literal actual dog and the plot remains completely unchanged like. That’s an atrocious and insulting way to treat a female character, especially a queer one, so why not just actually do that and have an even more unique story concept and let all your female characters feel like actual people?

They could also, you know, just make Suletta a compelling character with a real, developed personality instead too, but that would involve more radical changes to the plot (which I also think would likely be an improvement but) lmao. However, when doing these 'fix it' concepts, I always aim to change as little as possible as a challenge for myself. So that's what I've done here

And with that, my job here is done, and now I just know I’m gonna be even more mad at this week’s episode cause this even gayer, more dog-filled version I’ve made up in my head is already better than the actual show lmfao