#pls let no fans of the show find this skskdjs

[kyluxtrashpit]

Okay so. This is going to be a ramble no one cares about but I just have to get it out lmao. I’ve been watching gundam witch from mercury because I’m both a lesbian and a huge gundam fan, so the prospect of a gundam series WITH lesbians is like. What you’d put in my lab experiment reward bottle lmao. That sounds amazing

Thing is though… I want to like the show. I do. I really do. Especially because I just know there are fanboys out there pissing on it immediately cause how dare there be women and gays in “their” show. But. I just. I don’t love it. I find it frustrating to be perfectly honest. I will say season 2 so far as improved GREATLY on season 1 (wtf was the point of 10 episodes of weird high school slice of life drama in a gundam series anyway, it was incredibly boring). But I still am not loving it and if season 2 doesn’t deliver by the end, I’m gonna give up on it

However! I have devised what I would consider a fix for the show. And I’m sure people who actually like it, were they to stumble across this post, would be very unhappy with my fixes lmao but. I stand by them and I’m rambling them here solely so they’ll stop rolling around in my brain. So here we go (spoilers below)

So. First off, gonna really commit to the shoujo-ai/yuri vibes by going full strawberry panic. If we have to have a school, I’m making it an all girl’s school. There are no men there. There is now 0 percent chance of even the slightest hint of heterosexuality among the students. Men can still be like in the political stuff, dads play a big role in this show, but why do we need male students? We don’t. I’m making them all girls now. This will be important later and it's not like it's uncommon in anime, especially in the femslash genre

Second thing: my main issue with this show is Suletta’s lack of emotional reaction to… fucking anything. She’ll be sad for like 30 seconds when something genuinely devastating happens and then it’s over, she got hungry, a friend acknowledged her, she watered tomatoes - boom, she’s cured. Being abandoned/rejected the 3 most important beings in her life in like a week span left her sad for a couple of days (which we didn’t even see - there was literally one like 5 second shot of her lying in a bed and that’s it), sure, but as soon as she gets hungry and her friends say 2 words to her, she’s 100% back to normal. That is insane. That is not how human emotions work. I don’t know whether it’s her character itself or the way her character is written that irks me so much, but I have never seen a less engaging protagonist character like… ever. And I almost never like anime protagonists so that’s impressive. I don’t even dislike her character, I just find her immensely boring to the point where I feel nothing about her except the frustration of what a waste her character is in this setting. If she died in the next episode, all I would feel is surprise, not sadness. It’s like the narrative has no ability to affect or change her - what the hell is the point of her then??? Guel, previously most obnoxious and hate-able character in the show, was made interesting by the narrative, yet the protagonist remains unaffected by it and therefore remains about as interesting as paint drying. Why????? It’s such a waste. But anyway

So if Suletta does not behave like, you know, a person, what does she behave like? Well I would say she has the exact emotional depth of a golden retriever. Bubbly, highly social, a bit anxious, wants to help and be a part of everything, never stays sad for long - that’s a golden retriever right there. It's not good writing, but it's precisely what the writers have done here

So, what if she was literally a golden retriever?

So. Everything’s the same except it’s an all girl’s school now and Suletta is now literally a dog. World’s first mobile suit piloting dog. They send her to the school as sort of a test, to see if this dog can outperform the ace student pilots there. A dog would also still want to rescue Miorine at the start, so this stays intact. Highly social dogs like to be helpful

So. Guel is a girl now and gets her ass kicked by a dog - this is even more humiliating and drives her spiral just as well, if not better. Miorine is also now stuck engaged to a dog, which further cements how dehumanizing and humiliating this marriage arrangement thing is for her and further shows what a piece of shit her father is. The rich spacians would also be super insulted by even the idea that a dog could be a match or better than them, so she'd still end up with the earthians and all that. So the plot remains exactly the same, literally no change

“But KTP, dogs can’t pilot mobile suits!” You cry. But the thing is - the dog isn’t actually doing it. Eri is, because Aerial is sentient. We don’t even know if Suletta as a human is actually any better than average at piloting because of that - she doesn’t need to be, so she probably isn't. So the dog doesn’t actually need to be good or even at all capable, just throw some buttons in there that make it look like the dog is piloting and you’re good. That’s all you need. No one, including the dog, would know better except Eri and Prospera

Prospera - she’s the dog’s owner/trainer. Her grief after losing Eri makes her pursue this. Maybe Eri loved dogs, was obsessed with them, so Prospera got her a dog - even in her current form. And then the plan was born

And because Suletta is a dog and people like dogs, the care she inspires in Miorine and others honestly makes more sense. Of course they want to protect this dog and make her happy and let her be free of these complicated plans and things. She’s a dog. Dogs should be playing and getting belly rubs and being happy. So Miorine, Prospera, and Eri/Aerial all agreeing that Suletta should be set free from their machinations before shit gets real also makes WAY MORE sense. Because it’s both good for the dog AND everyone else cause the last thing you'd want involved in all this is a dog

And, because we made everyone girls at the start, Miorine could go into a romance with literally any character and it’d still be the lesbian gundam except now there’s just also a dog there who behaves identically to human Suletta except for not being able to talk. Because if your protagonist is so much more a plot device than a character that you could replace her with a literal actual dog and the plot remains completely unchanged like. That’s an atrocious and insulting way to treat a female character, especially a queer one, so why not just actually do that and have an even more unique story concept and let all your female characters feel like actual people?

They could also, you know, just make Suletta a compelling character with a real, developed personality instead too, but that would involve more radical changes to the plot (which I also think would likely be an improvement but) lmao. However, when doing these 'fix it' concepts, I always aim to change as little as possible as a challenge for myself. So that's what I've done here

And with that, my job here is done, and now I just know I’m gonna be even more mad at this week’s episode cause this even gayer, more dog-filled version I’ve made up in my head is already better than the actual show lmfao