#i just think he's a really complex character

[ikamigami]

SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DOCTOR

You know..

There's something so genuine about Harley Sawyer..

I don't know how to word it..

But the genuine shock in his voice when he realized that Dr White betrayed him..

I'm not saying that Harley liked Dr White, no.

But I genuinely think that Sawyer didn't mind Dr White's presence around him..

Harley tolerated Dr White enough to be surprised that he backstabbed him..

I think that this is a part of the reason to why I love the Doctor so much <3

He's just one of the most genuine characters in Poppy Playtime.

Hence why I believe when he says that Poppy isn't so innocent.

That Prototype is afraid of us.

That Elliot isn't as wonderful of a man as he may seem.

Something about Doctor feels.. genuine.. honest.. sincere.

I think that Sawyer is such a good at being a monstrously evil character because he's driven by something.. human.

He's a broken man.

We still don't know much about him but from what we already know Harley Sawyer appears as someone who was betrayed too many times.

Something about him always paying more attention to trouble kids.. troubled kids just like him..

There's definitely more to this. There has to be..

It just feels like he's trying to connect with someone.. anyone.. but he's doing it in the only way he knows..

Very wrong way.. very twisted and messed up way..

I'm not saying that he's capable of creating normal connections with others..

But it doesn't mean that he doesn't feel the need for it..

Everyone wants to be understood.

Some may not feel as much need for closeness as most people do.

But everyone wants to be understood.

Everyone feels this deep desire for a connection.. simply by being understood.

Harley Sawyer had a mental breakdown after Elliot kicked him out of Young Geniuses Program..

He was crying. There were teardrop marks on torn pieces of paper..

Where he wrote that he thought that Elliot understood him..

That Elliot cared..

But he didn't.

Nobody else did.

Maybe that's why Harley groomed Yarnaby?

To have someone who will pay attention to him..

And only him.

I don't condone Doctor's actions at all. He's just very interesting character who has more depth than people see.

Because most of the time all I see is people saying that Doctor was always evil or that he's just sociopathic sadist who doesn't care about anything and anyone.

But I simply disagree.

Sawyer is still very human in his core.

And maybe that's why he's so terrifying.

I really hope that Mob Games won't dehumanize Doctor. I hope that they will make him humane.

Not to excuse his actions but to show that humans are capable of atrocities.

Dehumanization helps us detach ourselves from one's monstrous actions to the point that we no longer see that the one who did all those awful things was simply a human.

Dehumanization often leads to no self-reflection and no reflection regarding society as a whole.

"A monster did that!"

But then there's..

"How could this happen? I could've never thought that X,Y,Z could do that."

I hope that Mob Games will make Doctor more humane because they show us that their story tries to explore more heavy topics than simply being just a mascot horror game.

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

Can you think of any more bllk misinterpretations? I feel like shidous a big one. Much love ❣️

OFC!!! i have so many i could yap for days on end without stopping…

just because hiori calls himself a sadist and likes crippled girls doesn’t automatically make him a menace. he’s a chill, relaxed, and often even shy person who often does favors for people without anything in return. (light novel, implied in the manga)

shidou is actually quite a calm and chill person as long as you don’t actively piss him off (rin) or if you’re not a soccer player. he often compliments people and is even willing to cooperate people who he dislikes. (egoist bible, implied in the manga)

chigiri has a very dislikable personality. this is due to his princess complex, narcissism, and arrogance. outside of his looks, he doesn’t actually have many fans because of his personality and character. (light novel, implied in the manga)

reo isn’t actually a gentleman and often has a hard time noticing when someone has romantic interest in him. because of this, he often doesn’t realize when girls like him, and when someone confesses, he automatically assumes that it’s because of his looks or money (he’s mostly right but sometimes wrong) (egoist bible, light novel, episode nagi)

kunigami is actually quite dense and doesn’t really realize when someone has any sort of intentions. he’s quite popular at his school but doesn’t actually realize it, and whenever people would play with him as a child, he took the games too far or didn’t understand the point of the games at all. (light novel, implies in the manga)

[furioussouls]

LADS guys when you want to sacrifice yourself for the greater good

with [chubby reader]

warnings: angst (mention of death), needles and siren song, reader is mc(you have the protocore syndrome), canon divergence, bondage, chubby afab! reader

Disclaimer: These characters belong to the game "love and deepspace" by InFold. The lore and worldbuilding belong solely to the creators.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆˚୨୧⋆｡

The prophecy predicted that a hunter with the protocore syndrome would fight by themselves against an influx of wanderers in the capital. It’ll be midnight on a cold day. They would save the city and bring in a new era of peace, but leave their life behind.

Xavier:

Xavier walked quickly through the icy wind and clenched his fists. Cold water rattled against his pale skin and his shoes stepped into a few puddles, when he finally reached the door to your apartment complex. He walked up the stairs to your door and knocked heavily. Xavier has heard the bullshit prophecy about you, of course he has. How could he not? Everyone talks about it, they treat you like a weapon; everybody's already planning on how they'll celebrate the world they'd live in without you. In a world where you died for their ungrateful selves. Never would Xavier let that happen.

You opened the door, already dressed in your hunters' uniform. Your round body deliciously filling the black material, but he can ogle at you another time- he will ogle at you another time, this is not the end of you.

"Xavier, what's wrong?", you asked him, your eyebrows drawn together in confusion. Xavier silently walked into your apartment and sat down on the couch, and you followed.

"Are you really going to do it?", Xavier asked you, his voice quiet and soft. His expression remained neutral as he stared straight ahead at the wall.

Your shoulders sagged and you let out a sigh. "Xavier..."

Xavier turned to you and stared you deep in your eyes, his expression still neutral. "Yes or no?"

"Yes. I have no choice, the wanderers have already attacked hundreds of citizens in the capital. Witnesses say theres more than a hundred wanderers, that's more than we've seen in the last few months. Today is the day, I think", you stared at your watch. It was 22:23. You still had an hour until you had to leave- this time for good.

Xavier snorted, his laugh was spiteful. He leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. He shook his head at you.

"No."

"This is not up for debate", you said and your nostrils flared.

"You're right. It's not." He agreed, his voice determined. His warm hand gently cupped your chubby cheek and you sighed and nuzzled into his hand.

"You'll stay here. Tara and I will save as many citizens as we can. The rest of the wanderers will be defeated with enough backup", Xavier said and pulled out his phone.

You pinched your nose bridge and shook your head "That's not how it works. The prophecy said-"

"I don't care." Xavier interupted you, his voice determined. His fingers tapped away on his phone and he stood in front of you. You only realised what he was doing a few minutes later.

"Oh my god, Xavier. Are you seriously blocking my way to the door?", you asked him incredulously. You began to rise from the couch and a ball of anger spread from the middle of your chest to your shoulders. Your cheeks heated up with anger and you took a few steps forward.

Xavier's hand gripped his sword and he lifted it, his gloved hands tense as he looked at you. Your jaw dropped and you lifted your own weapon against him. His expression remained neutral but his hands were shaking. "I will not hurt you, I will just make sure you can't leave. Only until midnight is over. If you're mad at me, go ahead. If you want me to grovel at your feet after all of this is done, I will. But you will not leave for this suicide mission, no way in hell. You can fight against me, but I will win, because... I have everything to lose."

"Xavier! You need to be fucking reasonable. We're hunters, our jobs and dedication to our citizens -"

"-is the most important thing in the world. Yeah, I know, what this job expects from you." Xavier bit out and his expression soured. He inhaled deeply and looked at you. "Regardless, the only way you will leave this place before midnight is over my dead body."

Zayne:

Zayne sat in his office chair, his leg bouncing up and down as he looked out the window at the snowflakes descending down. He's your primary health care provider (and boyfriend), of course he knows about the damn prophecy.

He knew about your anxiety surrounding it, he knew about the anger you felt at first and he also knew how you have slowly come to accept your fate. Your righteous anger turned into hopeless resignation, and you even convinced yourself that it was the right option for you.

Every single rainy or snowy day, he hoped that there won't be an influx of wanderers in the capital. Every single day in which you returned to him, his heart squeezed painfully at the reminder that today could've been the day that he lost you. Please, don't go on that damn mission. He tried to accept your decision, he really did. You're a powerful and independent hunter, after all. But he couldn't.

You walked through his door without knocking and his eyebrows furrowed when he saw you walk over to him. He didn't know what gave it away, was it your sad smile? Or maybe your clenched fists? Or the fact that you would never storm into his office like that for no reason? Zayne's heart sank and he jumped out of his chair, his ice evol spreading over his arms and taunting him.

"What? What happened?", he asked, already aware of your answer. His cold, scarred hands gripped your round shoulders and squeezed. Zayne scanned you from top to bottom to find any injuries on your round body.

"Haven't you heard? The capital is overrun by wanderers."

Zayne runs his shaky fingers through his black hair and was quiet for a few seconds. "Are you going to go?", he asks you, his monotone voice shaky.

You sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I have to. You know I do. I brought my uniform, can I change in the bathroom? I want you to be the last person that I see."

Zayne nodded quietly and when you left the room, he quickly rummaged through the drawers full of medical equipment and picked out a syringe. He doesn't care if he loses his job and medical license over this. None of it matters if you aren't alive. He hides the syringe in his pocket and waits for your return.

His office door opened and you stepped in, dressed in the uniform you were ready to die in. Zayne swallowed and looked at you. He gazed at you from the top of your head down to your feet. He smiled at you, it didn't reach his eyes but you didn't expect it to.

He opened his arms and you walked into his comforting embrace. His hand gently caressed over the fat of your back and he fixed your collar; his nimble and slender fingers gently loosened the collar of your uniform and you chuckled, your eyes wet. Of course, Zayne would try to make you look presenable, even in death. You cuddled into his chest as he continued to play with your collar.

"Forgive me." Zaynes voice rang through the room. You looked up at him in confusion.

"Forgive me", he repeated, his voice was nothing more than a broken whisper when you suddenly felt the stinging sensation of a needle on your neck. You gasped and looked up at him, your face a combination of betrayal and shock. He pressed his forehead against yours and held you when you began to stumble around. Zayne dropped to his knees with you wrapped in his comforting embrace and you passed out entirely.

"Forgive me, but I do not regret it. I never will. I'll accept any punishment of yours later." He mumbled against your warm skin. His arms gently rubbed each soft part of your ample body he picked you up and placed you on the couch of his office. He has three more syringes incase you wake up sooner than expected. Zayne let out a shuddering breath and continued working on medical documents on his computer knowing very well he'hh have a busy day in the Emergency Room ahead of him.

Rafayel:

Rafayel found out on the day it was supposed to happen.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and fixed every part of your uniform that seemed out of place. You smoothed over your thick torso and your hands gently pat down your soft belly.

“Hmm, what do you think? Do I look good enough?��, you asked Rafayel who stood next to you. He was walking pacing around in circles after you informed him of the content of the prophecy.

Rafayel stopped walking and looked at you with an incredulous expression; his beautiful eyes wide and his lips pressed together. You would've laughed at his fish- like expression if the situation was any less tense.

“Are you serious right now? You’re really entertaining the thought of going there? By yourself? Because of a stupid prophecy? Of course you‘ll die if you go there by yourself. That has nothing to do with 'a glorious prophecy being fulfilled‘. It’ll just be a stupid suicide mission that'll turn into a self-fullfilling prophecy. No. You’re not going. You’re not.“

He bit his plump lips and and scrunched his flawless nose.

"Rafayel-“

“I can’t believe you want to go there! Are you kidding me?!“, he exclaimed, his voice cracking.

“Regardless of whether or not you agree, I have to go there. That's my job. There’s people that need my help. And if I die there, that’ll just be an unfortunate accident.“ You told him and checked your weapon for its ammunition.

“Yes, but they will not send you backup! They believe you have to go there on your own and die! They want you to die, so you won’t make it out of there alive anyway! What don’t you understand about this?“, he yelled out with his hands stretched out.

“Of course I understand, Rafayel! I‘m not stupid. It’s just.. well if the prophecy really is correct, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad for me to die. A new era of peace, can you imagine?“

Rafayel stopped pacing and looked at you, his angry expression turning into one of neutrality. “You believe in the prophecy as well. That's why you didn't tell me about it. You didn't want me to try and stop you from sacrificing yourself. You believe what those people told you, which means you won’t even fight your death. You'll die. You’re going to die for the betterment of the world? Is that your plan?“, he asked you quietly, his face missing any sign emotions.

You evaded his gaze and fixed your uniform even more.

Rafayel nodded with acceptance and walked over to you. "It's not your fault. They made you feel like this was the right thing to do", his steps slow and silent. You turned to face him, expecting him to tell you not to go but when you look at his eyes- they’re too bright. You hear a slow voice echo through your head. The voice got louder and louder. The sounds were beautiful, it made you want to never stop listening. A bright smile adorned your face and Rafayel gently grabbed your face. He hummed softly and a wave of happiness and pleasure washed over you, his eyes didn't blink once.

“You will forget about the prophecy. If someone speaks to you about any prophecy, you’ll immediately forget about the conversation once it’s done. Today you will lay down and not leave the house until after midnight. And you will never give yourself up for the greater good of the world.“ Rafayels melodic voice sang out, the beautiful melody washing over you. He closed his eyes and gently kissed your soft cheeks and forehead.

“Rafayel?“, you asked him in confusion.

“Hm?“, he hummed out softly and gently shoved you into his warm chest. His beautiful fingers gently cupping the back of your head.

“Why am I in my uniform?“

“I don’t know. Take it off so we can go for a swim.“ He replied, his voice more serious than usual but his lips gently raised into a soft smile. He holds your hands up to his lips and he tenderly pressed kisses against your soft fingers.

“Woah. What’s gotten into you? You’re surprisingly docile.“ You raised and eyebrow at him and he smiled softly.

“Of course, cutie. Have you ever known me to be disobedient?“, he asked and fluttered with his lashes. You rolled your eyes and walked away to put on your bathing suit, Rafayel trailed close behind you.

Sylus:

Sylus chuckled deeply as you started to fight against the ropes that were wrapped around your body. Your hands were tied behind your back and your feet were tied together in an unnatural position. Loud thunder boomed outside Sylus' mansion and you heard the pitter- patter against the window. With every single movement the rope seemed to bite harder into your skin, it was definitely uncomfortable, but not painfully so.

"Sylus, what the fuck! Untie me, right now!"

"I don't see any reason for me to untie you", he responded smoothly, his hand swirling a glass of red wine, while the other one softly kneaded your limbs. He inhaled deeply through his nose and chuckled darkly at the thought of the prophecy.

You grunted and kept squirming, trying your best to weasel out of this situation. "Sylus, I'm serious."

Sylus' smile dropped a little and he put his glass down on the table. He sighed loudly and moved your struggling body on top of his lap. Sylus began massaging your thick limbs and gently lifted your face up, so that you'd stare into his eyes. "So am I. I'm not going to let you run off into your death just because some people told you it'd be the best thing for you to do. You will not go there. I'm sure theres many other competent hunters that would do well with the praise, yes?"

"It has nothing to do with praise, Sylus. Do you know how many people would be saved if I just-"

"Oh yes, glorious humanity would be saved. What has humanity given you? What great thing have they given you that would be worth abandoning your life for? Nothing. The only good thing that humanity has ever created was you. Nothing and nobody else. You're not the chosen one, your death will not be honored in a noble way. They won't care about you, the only thing they'll care about is what your death means for them. They have sold you this beautiful lie that the world will finally be happy and peaceful, but that's not the truth. They lied to you. Humans lie."

Tears rolled down your cheeks and Sylus cooed. His large, warm hands gently wipe your face dry and he pushes your face against his chest. Silent sobs shook your soft body and Sylus caressed you. His hands were shaking in anger and his nostrils flared when the tension drained from your body.

They put too much pressure on his sweetie. They want the only light of his life to sacrifice everything, just so that they can live peacefully? No, they will not get their damned peace.

"I say we let the world meet its end, hm?"

"Do I have a choice?", you asked, your lips pressed together.

Sylus considered you and his red eyes softened slightly. They scanned every inch of your face and leaned forward to kiss your sweet lips. "In every other scenario, you call the shots and I'm just a devoted follower. In this one, no."

Caleb:

"Caleb, you need to fly me back to Linkon, now."

Caleb raised an eyebrow and turned around to face you. He was fresh out of the shower, his hair dripping wet and his torso naked, his necklace dangling. Usually you would take that opportunity to grope his soft boobs (pecs), but he saw your serious expression and frowned. His dark eyebrows furrowed and he cupped your face.

"Pipsqueak, what's wrong?"

"It's happening, Caleb. The capital is overran by wanderers and-", you were interrupted by Caleb's chuckle. It sounded wrong to you; it wasn’t the laugh you heard whenever you told a funny joke. It sounded mean and spiteful. You turned around and raised your eyebrows at him.

"Oh my God. You still believe in this stuff? You want me to fly you to a place surrounded by wanderers, so that you can die because a stupid prophecy told you so when we were kids?" He grinned, it was the biggest smile that you've ever seen on him, but it didn't reach his eyes. He chuckled and gently pinched your squishy cheek. "Come on, pipsqeak I thought you knew me better than that. You will not go anywhere." Caleb's lighthearted tone turned serious as he uttered the last sentence.

"Caleb, come on! People will die if I don't go to Linkon."

"So?"

You looked up at Caleb and saw his manic smile had disapeared and he stared at you with an emotionless expression. "Why do you have to play the hero? Why do you have to give up your life while everybody else sits around ?"

"It's not only about me. Can you imagine the amount of lives I’d save? If I won’t do it people will die Caleb! Innocent people will die!“

Caleb inhaled deeply, his eyes sharp as he looked at you. “The prophecy isn’t real. None of it is. They just want someone to do the dirty work for them incase there'll be a horde of wanderers in the capital. That‘s it.“

You crossed your arms over your chest and clenched your jaw. Your nostrils flared in frustration and you turned around. You couldn’t deal with this, right now. You need to find a way back to Linkon. How else could you return if not with Caleb’s help? But before you could take a step forwards, you felt the warm and firm embrace of Caleb’s gravity evol around you. You were physically unable to take another step and you gasped.

“Caleb! What the fuck are you doing?“, you hissed out and tried to struggle out of his grasp.

He sighed and walked a few steps toward you. Caleb cupped your cheek and wrapped you up in his warm embrace, his naked muscular chest touching your angry face. Caleb’s lips found their way to your forehead and he nosed your hair sweetly. He inhaled deeply and picked your round body up, his evol still lingering around your body.

Caleb sat you down on the bed and tucked you under the covers, ignoring the loud curses thrown his way.

“I never would’ve let you go there. Ever. Even if the entire population of Linkon would perished without your sacrifice, I‘d have kept you right here with me. Warm and alive. Everybody that demands anything else from you deserves whatever the fate awaits them.“

[heroicn0nsense]

I guess I'm about to get real vulnerable on main here, but I saw some kinda "BookTok" disk horse cross my BlueSky feed, and it's got me thinking in a way I really can only discuss without a character limit. But it feels kind of relative to an over all trans creative experience. Maybe more specifically for us masc people, but. You know. Maybe the threads are different but the weave a similar picture. Anyway, this is kinda what my tumblr blog has become, and so here goes. Please note I also use 'queer' as an all encompassing term, as to me it is the most inclusive word I can use despite its dubious origins and history. Sorry if that upsets anyone.

The funniest thing about this whole conversation popping up was the fact that I had just been lamenting about finding the concept of 'romantasy' fun but what I'd give to find or read something with a transmasc protagonist paired with an opposite partner of any gender. Something my masc bisexual ass would love to see. Mostly because I see and support so many ones that are sapphic in nature, but hardly see any masculine. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places but Anyway. Just so happened that in the next hour I saw what I was looking for cross my Bsky feed, but with the author show casing the really nasty and negative comments he received on his concept. things like but not limited to:

"of course the transmasc character is a twink bottom" "just a girl who got a mastectomy" And other just Internalized Misogyny and Heteronormative things that affect a good portion of us transmasculine guys.

And idk, man it really struck a nerve with me.

If only because first and foremost, the author is writing something he wanted to see. Filling a niche and void he wanted to see realized, and like so many other authors' works, in a way that feels personal to him. And to attack it in such a way was pretty vile.

Queer stories and creations in of themselves are personal stories, because we write from our own experiences, and put them in our original works whether subtly or not so subtly. It's there, and you can't separate the queer experience from a queer work because by its very nature its queer. But also like, that experience isn't the same for everyone. And we shouldn't expect it to be. So, no, not every work is going to be what you want or associate with. But we should be uplifting all of it so that someone with an idea or concept that does speak to you will have the confidence to bring it to the table. And yeah. Unfortunately, that sometimes means that cliches are gonna happen. That twink ass transmasc might end up being a bottom 75% of the time.

But it also like, led me to associate my own struggle of accepting my own body and transness and some of my own preferences in the bedroom.

I'm not saying that all writers, artists, or creators are using their method of making art to explore their own hang ups with their gender and bodies, navigating this absolutely messy and strange world of norms and expectations while simultaneously seeming to want to turn them on their head. Gender is complex. Being trans is complex. And it gets weird, and sometimes we need outlets to work our way through it.

But also, most of us transmasc people have vaginas. It's just a fact of life. We've got a big ol' gaping axe wound of an organ sitting between our legs and for a lot of us, it still feels good to stick something in it, and we shouldn't be ashamed of that at all. And hell, a lot of us are short, considering our genetics are wired that way and no amount of HRT is going to change the fact some of us aren't going to get past 5'5". But sometimes, especially with what is expected to be masculine by gender norms, and the physical form of a cis male body, it can sometimes be really hard to reconcile that.

I know it was for me. To the point where I often struggled with my sexuality and my relationship with intimacy about it for a long time.

I made my character Akihiro while I was, and still am parsing through a lot of my own dysphoric issues, and paving my own way to acceptance. And that's made him a deeply personal character to me. And he has grown and changed as I project a lot of those issues on to him and his development. Akihiro has been an exploration of myself as much as he is an an original character that I role play. But not so much in the ways of personality, but more in the ways of the challenges with which he is presented and has to navigate himself.

Akihiro is a trans man in a world that is accepting of it. Society has progressed past these petty and arbitrary standards. But he becomes a cyborg at a time where the question is instead what it means to be human, and so...The aspect of depersonalization, dysphoria, and depersonalization he experiences at the hands of transhumanism is not so different than what I have and do experience in my own transition.

Akihiro wasn't always trans. That was honestly a pretty recent development and one that I did struggle with making. And I realized I was struggling with it because of those same dysphoric issues. And I just needed to let them go.

It was reflected in another recent development; the way that I had Akihiro handle his genitals when he was presented with the option to upgrade from none to a functioning set. And he chose to go with what he had been born with, the genitals he had when his body was mangled. He went with a vagina. Because he wanted to embrace the body he had taken for granted before he lost it, and not some idealized version of himself he could have obtained at any point prior.

And yeah. He 'bottoms' the majority of the time for his boyfriend because he enjoys it. But it doesn't stop him from topping him either, nor enjoying that. Nor had it stopped him previously from being intimate with other men and women. And that's his preference as a character.

And who are we to say it wasn't the same for this author? Where he is putting his feelings and acceptance of his own body and desires onto paper? And that is being met with such vitriol because it's not someone else's idea of what is masculine, or whatever. I don't know. Maybe they weren't. Maybe they did just wanna write some twink ass boy getting dicked down and like, that's fine too. Why do we have to be so mad about that?

And maybe this was just a lot of words to say that I think we get so wrapped up in words and labels for things that it completely erases the nuances of our own experiences and it turns right back around to being so queerphobic and limiting. And we don't give ourselves, much less other people, the grace to create the things they want to, and from a place of their own experience and desire. It's harmful.

[paper-worms]

Idk if this is a Magnus Archives hot take but I’ve always been peeved by people complaining about the series being confusing/hard to follow. Don’t get me wrong the name jokes will always be funny esp because Mr Sims calls all his less important characters outside of TMA fuckin’ Jerry Ballsack or something since he hates naming characters so damn much. And the Michaels of course.

But what I mean is people calling the complexity of the world and how the audience is kept in the dark about most of it an actual detractor. I’ve heard people say they couldn’t finish the series because they were too confused. Dude??? Its cosmic/eldritch horror??? Its supposed to be confusing and overwhelming and something you cannot fully comprehend. When a story is basically a mystery story where you’re discovering the world alongside your main character you’re meant to be lost!! Jon literally says “I don’t understand” in like every episode leading up to the szn 4 finale.

And ngl? The amount of connections and callbacks in the series are many and very well thought out which gives the series great re-listen potential, but not necessary to catch to understand the forward motion of the plot most of the time. You don’t need to remember what Jude Perry did to that one guy or even her name to understand “ah this is fire related shit. I know what they generally do” and move forward. Most of the time when Jon brings up one of an avatar’s victims to them its just a general desperate attempt to see if theres any humanity left in them, not because that person is actually important to the story. Which is what’s meant to be scary!! Innocent people are hurt and destroyed and their suffering is tiny and meaningless to the cruel gods that rule their world. And its what makes Jon’s transformation so much more apparent and chilling where people can become nothing but sustenance to him.

So when someone is asking about getting into TMA and everyone starts telling them “lol make sure to take notes” I’m kinda like sure do that if you want, but also if your confusion will hinder your listening experience I just don’t really think cosmic horror is for you? And thats ok.

[inquisitivelee]

Mythal & Solas - were they romantic?

Heres the thing - The devs made it ambigious on purpose in veilgaurd, for YOU the player to chose. It was left open purposefully for your own world building needs as they tend to do sometimes. So what I write below is based on what ive seen and my own world state, but if you hc something different thats totally fine and prob by design by the devs. If they wanted to clear up the relationship they wouldve, but they didnt on purpose. Lets start with what I personally think - Solas and Mythal loved each other - it was a mother son type of relationship or atleast a gaurdian and charge type relationship : No Solas and Mythal were physically intimate but never romantically linked or it was one-sided: No Solas and Mythal had a romantic relationship that was imbalanced and complicated: No Solas and Mythal were in a complicated toxic friendship: No...but close Solas and Mythal had a deeply complicated emotional connection - they loved each other, but it wasnt simple as a romantic, physical or as simple as just friendship: Yes Lets start by ripping off the bandaid - first things first - :

Its implied Solas has NEVER been IN love before. He had no clue what being in love would mean or intail because he never had been in love before, thats the only way that sentence can make sense. But what was Mythal then? Well take a look at Veilgaurd - the entire point of veilgaurd was to break the social norms of gender, sexuality, and what it means to love someone. Solas absolutely loved Mythal and yes Mythal loved Solas. Its why she let him kill her, its why whoever inherited Mythals fragment and memories could never stand to raise a hand or even THINK about standing against Solas - Morrigan who famously hated and spited Solas before Mythals memories , coudnt even stomach the thought of striking him down in Veilgaurd when Rook asks if she will stand against him.

(full gifset here x by Lucaanis) That being said - It was a deeply unablanced toxic relationship regardless, and one Mythal and even Solas acknowledged as being flawed. It was to the point that Mythal regretted it deeply as seen by what she says in Veilgaurd, and it can be partially interpreted in INQ with her lament of regrets (i think it was also about the elven peple and the titans) (Also - Tumblr is limiting the amount of imgs so for some of these scenes you will have to look up on your own) Solas in INQ mentions how Mythal was a being of Retribution and the way the dalish viewed her was implied to be overly flattering and soft - Justice was a kind view of her, and he almost sneered the comment out. In Veilgaurd the fragment of Mythal stuck in crossroads was VERY quick to be offended, quick to anger, and very quick to attack anyone who she felt overstepped with boundaries (which their were many and very easily tripped) so it gives a pretty good insight into how Mythal was before in ancient arlathan and towards her own people, AND Solas himself. (The fact that she was considered the 'kindest' of the evanuris really puts how the evanuris were with the elves into perspective, given her personality) - Putting this in real quick, Mythal despite having this very prickly personality DID still help and wanted to help her people when asked, she did genuinely care - but it was being WORHTY in HER EYES to be worth the effort of her helping you that made her such a complicated character to deal with. Mythal - like Solas is not a black and white character, she has plenty contradictions and is very complex. - So imagine Solas and her relationship. She calls him love and coarces him into having a body, she only heeds his advice and wisdom when it furthers her own plans and coldly brushes solas off and lets the other evanuris insult him when he doesnt follow her placidly like a dog.

Whether Solas was struck by Mythal (I dont think he was, i think it was all verbal considering how Mythal could never seem to bring herself to actually HURT him or stand against him) or not, she deffinetly tore him down to nothing and often if Solas earned the moniker of being Mythal's lapdog - one who always followed after her and had statues in her temple even after all those centuries. I think its similar to a narcissitic parenting relationship in the way - it had to be done in HER way by HER rules and she was all fondness and affection but the minute he stepped outside of it or had conflicting opinions she lashed out at him or degraded him for not filling the role she wanted him to. Bellara says that ancient elves had an entirely different way of viewing and expereincing relationships - that friendship to them nowadays would seem like romantic in the past because of how closely connected they were to each other. You have to remember these were initially spirits that spent ages uncounted with each other in the fade before taking bodies and learning what emotions and physical feelings were. It would never be as simple as "Romance, platonic, or sexual". or rather "Mother, Lover, or friend". Theirs even a codex excerpt that said ancient elves would someties spend YEARS having sex to give you an insight to how time and emotions were different for them. I think Solas and Mythal loved each other deeply. I think Solas loved Fellassan deeply. I think Solas loved Wisdom spirit deeply. Because ancient elves felt deeply in ways modern elves dont seem to which is part of the reason Solas didnt even consider modern elves REAL. That they would so neatly pack their emotions in tiny catogories defied what elves once were, beings of pure emotion that came from spirits of the fade.

Relationships were not simple things and were deeply complicated whether it was platonic OR romantic in ancient arlathan. Does that mean that Solas loving Mythal platonically make their bond any less powerful? No I think that was the point in showing the redemption ending. Lavellan was swaying Solas but in the end Mythal had to be the one to release Solas. It wasnt that Mythal meant more to him or Lavellan meant more to him than the other. Both types of love were equally as powerful to Solas, because ancient elves loved WHOLY and ENTIRELY. Different types of love didnt mean less powerful, it was never a contest between the two. They both held his heart in very diferent ways, just as WISDOM and Fellassan did.

(Your heart can break for more than just romance love, theirs familial and friendship heartbreak. You can feel kinship - to the point of someone being your soulmate for more than just romance, theirs platonic soulmates too, thats the entire point.) Mythal represented everything he WAS, everything he had been, and been created for. His duty to his people, all his sacrifices. It HAD to have been Mythal in the end to cut ties because she was the physical representation of ALL OF IT leading up to veilgaurd. all the mistakes he made the pain he and she both caused.

it was never choosing one lover over the other - it was never a question of which love was stronger.

So in short - Mythal and Solas relationship is not simple - it was complicated and toxic, and yes they loved each other deeply, but no i dont think that meant it was physical or romantic.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I'm curious about your thoughts about the OB cards. Personally I was REALLY hoping they weren't actually gonna happen because they overblots are supposed to be like super strong and they can't really do that without breaking the game because most things would be too easy or balancing it out which would make everything too hard for people who don't have the cards. So they’ll probably be weaker and it’s just a personal pet peeve of mine when strong bosses are weaker when they’re playable.

Also I know the characters that do overblot are like coming to terms with that or something (I would assume anyways I play on the English server) but it rubs me the wrong way that they're making cards of what's literally the characters trauma incarnated into really strong versions of themselves. Like maybe I'm overthinking it but even with everything with the Vil in book 7 I still think it's weird to let the form he takes from having a mental breakdown after almost killing someone be playable??? Though most people don’t seem to agree with this so maybe I am overthinking it lol

[Referencing this news!]

While I understand the frustration with watering down what are meant to be powerful people in canon and/or balancing new battle content around the more recent cards, power creep nothing new for these types of mobile gacha games, or even for Twst itself. For example, Malleus is canonically one of the top 5 strongest mages in all of Twisted Wonderland, but it's not as though all of the Malleus cards are OP to reflect this lore. As another example, events will often grant an item drop boost or a status buff to the limited time banner characters as a means of incentivizing you to pull for them. I find this particular egregious for the recently introduced Arcane Combat Drills/Magic Assault Practice events, which feature progressively arduous battle maps and are made easier if you happen to pull the featured staff SSR. The devs cannot just drop an OP character that will break the game (even if they would canonically) to maintain balance and keep the game fun for players. I honestly don't think power creep is a huge issue with Twst. It happens, certainly--but it's not as bad as other games I've seen. Cards now considered "old" are still considered good today (Dorm Uniform Trey is still a great healer, it took several years for someone else to topple Dorm Uniform Riddle in terms of highest attack stat; even then, Riddle is excellent for offense, etc.). Older cards also introduced new buffs and debuffs which enhance battle complexity and potential strategies. For example, there was previously NO way to stop the enemies from healing... until Dorm Uniform Vil was introduced. He was the first card to have Curse, which applies a debuff that prevents the enemies from healing for a set number of turns. Since then, other similar additions have been made to tweak combat.

This is a spoiler for EN only players (though it sounds like you saw the Malleus OB card preview/JP server content, so I'll assume it's safe to spoil you), but the OB forms end up being framed differently (more heroically) later in book 7. It's not a clear-cut case of Twst glamourizing poor mental health and trying to sell it to us. Overblots are, of course, initially presented as the characters' trauma made manifest, at their lowest points and succumbing to their inner darkness--and they still are. However, in the dream world of book 7 (plus some hacks + cheat tool support from Idia), the OB boys are able to assume their OB forms and use these to combat Malleus. The OB forms are referred to as the "strongest versions of themselves", and they even portray the shift from their normal forms to OB sort of like magical girl transformations. In this case, their lowest points ultimately become moments of triumph, as they all manage to confront that "darkness", embrace it, and then tame that power for themselves. (To be clear: they can't OB at will in reality or control their own OBs in reality; it's only possible in the confines of the dreamspace.) The narrative around the OBs is retooled to be empowering and a symbol of how far each of them has come rather than staying static as something to be ashamed of. The idea seems to be promoting acceptance of the past but also learning to grow from it. I don't see an issue with this. Even without this particular context, I don't think I would see an issue? Many of the characters have done very questionable things even outside of OB (Leona tries to sand Ruggie, Riddle attacks Ace with rose trees in an attempt to literally behead him, Vil tries to poison Neige, etc.), but there aren't protests about those character variants (Dorm Uniforms, School Uniforms, etc.) being playable. Twst is a game centering on Disney villains, so there's for sure going to be dubious actions being carried out and dubious morals on display.

I hope this helps to ease your worries or at least provides you with a different perspective ^^

[odileeclipse]

I wonder how the Shadow Milk we know, his corrupted self–once the Sage of Truth, the passionate and patient tutor of the MC, would react to the Reader somehow interacting with Pure Vanilla, in one way or another. I honestly feel that deep down, he already feels jealous of what PV has in the game–the support, friends, etc., though of course their dynamic is much more complex and nuanced than that. PV and SMC are basically two sides of the same coin; Sage of Truth is also quite similar to Pure Vanilla in a lot of ways, too. And so that makes me think of the possible reactions corrupted!Shadow Milk could have when he sees the MC interact with Pure Vanilla–someone who is so much like his past self. A version of himself he's left in the past, so long ago. This is just me rambling, but I've been THINKING. Sage of Truth would be so proud of me guys /j

Sage of truth would 100% be super proud of you in fact he is I can confirm it as canon.

But for this yes, in fact you can't blame me if the reader sees glimpses of him in Pure Vanilla so much so that the reader finds themselves falling into a similar dynamic with pure vanilla except pure vanilla is a lot more forward he carries himself so much differently but both of them well at some point both of them both cared most about spreading good will and intentions to all.

I love the rambling it really gets me thinking about everything and allows me to structure the story better because these characters are genuinely so complex.

[dialecticaldimensions]

Hello to any x files fans out there, I think I am finally ready to start my season 8 journey. Had to pause because I knew what was coming and as someone that was freshly experiencing grief about a year ago, I could not bring myself to continue… 

But!!! After a year of religiously consuming fanfic and reading many many msr/x files think pieces (shout out to @randomfoggytiger @thursdayinspace & @deathsbestgirl, I love scrolling your blogs & reading all of your thoughts!!) and also living vicariously through juni’s (mulders-too-large-shirt, not gonna tag her in case this is spoils something about s8) live blogging, I think I am finally ready to jump back in. 

I am so looking forward to the episodes I haven’t watched (despite already being irked with some plot lines), but I do like to watch source material for myself!! And the x files is truly some source material!!

For a show that was written in the 90s, the way I am sooooo drawn to Scully as a complex,well-rounded female character that I think even the more modern shows sometimes fail to fully capture. Because she’s just so complex and layered and multi dimensional in a way that I relate to and in the way that I see so many of the women in my own life. 

The way Scully is determined and strong and wants to be a boss-ass bitch, but is still sooo kind and empathetic and soft and girly (even though I think she wouldn’t really like to be associated with that term). 

Ugh, just ugh!!! As someone who also constantly struggles with wanting to be feminine and also wanting to be taken seriously!! I get it!! I get her!!! And gillian played this really well imo. There is so much depth to the way scully is portrayed even in times of shitty writing or less than compelling plot points. I have never been so drawn into a female character the way I have with her! 

And Mulder, my beloved. Definitely one of my all-time favourite male characters. He really is very kind and always willing to empathize with the victim. And the way he carries everything that happened with samantha and wraps it in layers and layers of dumb-ass humour, collapsing into his work and falling into his need to save everyone and everything around him. 

What I really like is how he is sooo determined to make the world better in the ways he knows how. And god, the way he claims the need to not trust anyone and be suspicious and question everything but never actually does that at some critical moments!! Because he so badly wants to believe in the goodness of people and wants to believe that he is worth the help, that they see what he’s fighting for and are willing to fight that fight. I want to scream about this so often. There is so much beauty in the subtle vulnerabilities of Mulder’s character and the way that he carries all that!! Again shout out to david for really playing to that in how he acts as Mulder. 

And then you put these two complex, flawed, unhinged individuals together and I have never known peace since!!! In the absolute best way. I have to say in the 15 years of being involved in a whole range of fandoms, I have never been quite as taken with a ship as I have been with msr. The way they fall into each other truly has me clutching at my heart. 

Because it really really is a meeting of minds and values and essences and an inherent understanding of what it means to exist in this world. They both have their own journey with that last one, but I think the way they move through that journey is soooo complementary to each other and that they could have only undertaken that journey once they met. 

… did not mean for this to be an essay haha, but this is what happens when I get started. This was mostly just a post to say if anyone wants to keep me company as I navigate s8 onwards, it would be v v welcomed! Periodic thought posts on the episodes will show up eventually ✨👽🛸

[tealvenetianmask]

I'm sick, so I'm going to do the very normal thing and wax poetically about the positive neurodiversity representation is in HB. That's because they manage to make it appear neither purely good nor purely bad. It's allowed to just be part of what makes our characters who they are in their beautiful complexity.

Exhibit A: Blitz (there's no exhibit B yet, but maybe there will be!).

He never gets a diagnosis. No one in this show does.

I think ADHD is obvious. I did a post on this a long time ago, but the man barely sits still, and he's always climbing and sitting on things in odd ways. He misses things other characters say when he's caught up in his own ideas. He sometimes falls on his face when distracted despite having literal acrobatic skills. He gets stuck . . . hyperfocusing on things to the point where he ignores other pressing matters. He's an out of the box thinker and has an infectious enthusiasm for life.

You've probably seen me on here arguing that he has dyslexia. ADHD and LD (learning disabilty) are a much more common combination than most people acknowledge, just like ADHD and autism. If this is your take on him, I welcome you to comment too, but to me the LD/dyslexia thing is pretty powerful because I have ADHD and LD too. We all come to these conversations with our lived experiences.

And just like lots of real people with these and other neurodiversities, he also deals with a shit ton of trauma and related disorders as an adult. BPD . . . PTSD . . . you get the gist. The trauma is portrayed as bad, and some of his resulting behaviors certainly are too, but he's still fundamentally a good person who's been through a lot.

I think the part of his story I most understand as a neurodivergent one is the concept of "not being good enough" that he carries around. It originated before the fire, with Cash devaluing him (literally) in favor of Fizz. Blitz has an ever-present itch to prove himself, believes that he is not worthy of love, and that what he can DO for people is all that will make anyone want him around.

I think that most neurodivergent and/or otherwise disabled people get this, either from the always pushing side or the giving up side, or both at different times . . .). I grew up with parents who expected A LOT, and frankly, to this day, I often CAN'T meet their expectations because of how my brain works. I learned that I need to accomplish things. I also learned that I need to accomplish them IN MY WAY, or else I'd just fall short. I spent a lot of time when I was younger thinking that no one was like me (cue angsty music), but it turns out, a lot of people are. We just weren't very open about it in the 90's/2000's. That's why representation is important.

Blitz finds ways to work. He works very hard for his company, because he cares deeply about it and about the people who work for him, and also about PROVING SOCIETY WRONG (yes, there's a pushing back against racism element here too). He chooses to not care too much about spelling or paperwork and leans on employees for some of that- not justifying Moxxie being stuck with it, but, yes, this reads as self-accommodation to me.

And having to work around having more trouble with certain things because your brain works differently? Well, when a person grows up like that, you can get a really inventive, dynamic problem solver. Some people will say that this is inherently part of ADHD, and I don't know, but it's part of Blitz.

Anyway, I'll try to write a more coherent essay on some of these issues as they appear in the show later. Stolas is also an interesting case.

But do discuss! Entertain me on my snotty sick bed. XD

[annalacerda17]

Fandom in general is too quick to label characters as having a Savior Complex or being Self-Sacrificing without taking into account the context surrounding the characters actions. This bothers me because those labels are often used to accuse characters of being reckless and thoughtless or depressive and suicidal as if those were the only possible motivations for a character to take a risk for other.

In the MDZS fandom I've seen those labels being applied to Wei Wuxian - incorrectly - in order to diminish the weight of his choices.

Wei Wuxian wasn't Self-Sacrificing. Not anymore that his job required him to be. He wasn't someone who went around in search of a heroic death. But as a Cultivator it was his responsibility to protect people - we can compare a Cultivator to a firefighter: saving people is part of their job, and that comes with a risk, but nobody thinks firefighters are just recklessly throwing themselves at danger for nothing, or that they are stupid for not ignoring that burning building.

Cultivators are supposed to protect people from the supernatural and that's a risky job. But Wei Wuxian isn't reckless. He's actually quite thoughtful and very strategic in his approach to any adversary. He's also an excellent teacher because of his patience and analytical skills - he's the opposite of reckless, really.

One of the plot points I see people use to accuse him of being reckless and self-sacrificing is the XuanWu cave debacle. The thing is, Wei Wuxian wasn't being reckless then. He bid his time, waited to see what Wen Chao would do first. He defended MianMian not out of some sort of self-sacrificing reaction, but because his morals compelled him to do so, and he wasn't the only one. Remember, a Cultivator is supposed to follow a strict moral code. When an innocent person, MianMian, was being attacked in front of them they were supposed to help her. For those who didn't, it was a moral failing.

But more than that, Wen Chao's plan to summon the XuanWu of Slaughter was utterly stupid and was bound to get them all killed. Wen Chao was absolutely not competent enough to kill the XuanWu of Slaughter himself, and when the situation inevitably got out of control Wen Chao's cronies would still whisk him away to safety and let the hostages there to die. Wei Wuxian's choice to confront Wen Chao then wasn't reckless, it was borne from a lack of better options and knowing if they didn't make a stand then and there they would all die. It's one of those situations in which none of the options available are ideal, and you just have to choose the least worse option. Between dying without resisting and fighting for a small chance of survival, Wei Wuxian chose to fight because he wasn't stupid or suicidal, and unlike the vast majority of people in the Cultivation World, Wei Wuxian actually lived up to the moral ideal.

Another plot point I see brought up again and again against Wei Wuxian is his use of "demonic cultivation". First off, the cultivation path Wei Wuxian invented and used wasn't demonic, it was the ghost path, and that's different. Demonic cultivation implicates the use of living humans and Wei Wuxian didn't do that. He used the resentment of ghosts, and he was repeatedly shown to be very kind and compassionate toward those ghosts, but he never used humans. The only character in MDZS that practiced demonic cultivation was Xue Yang, who created living corpses.

Moreover, Wei Wuxian didn't just choose to go for a walk in the burial mounds, he was thrown there to die by Wen Chao. He invented the ghost path because of necessity and it's a testament to his strong will to survive. Personally, I've never understood people who think Wei Wuxian creating the ghost path was self destructive. Dying is easy. If he had been self-destructive, he wouldn't have made it out of the burial mounds alive. Wei Wuxian was kind and compassionate and a genius and he had a strong will to live, so he created a new path of cultivation that could get him out alive and that would allow him to keep fighting, because it was war and they were losing, and if the Wens won it would be catastrophic for the world.

After the war, Wei Wuxian chose to stand up for the Wen Remnants, and that choice wasn't reckless, it wasn't self-sacrificing and it wasn't self-destructive. The Wen Remnants represent the great moral debate in the story: what was happening to them was genocide, and doing nothing meant being complicit in it. The persecution and extermination of the Wen Remnants was the culmination of the moral corruption of that society.

Wei Wuxian's choice to stand up for the Wen Remnants wasn't reckless. He understood the consequences and made a choice with a clear head. He knew from the beginning that they were all living on borrowed time. He certainly hoped at some points that maybe some sort of more permanent truce could be worked out with the sects, but he was always aware that the chances of that were slim. His choice to protect the Wen Remnants wasn't borne out of some sort of self-sacrificing ideal either. He didn't want to die and sacrificing his life was never his go-to response to any situation. He died after having tried everything else, after being pushed into a dead end by the entire world and resisting for around two years, which is two years more than most people would be able to resist for.

His choice to protect the Wen Remnants was a matter of morality. Wei Wuxian saw a genocide happening in front of him and his conscience wouldn't allow him to walk away. That's what Wei Wuxian means when he says to Lan Wangji, during Lan Wangji's visit to Yiling:

“But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do.”

Wei Wuxian chose to protect the Wens because while that might cost his life, choosing otherwise would cost him everything he was as a person.

MDZS is a story about society's failings and the extermination of the Wen Remnants is the great symbol of societal corruption: they fought a war to defeat a monster, only to turn around and become the next monsters themselves. In this sense, only the outliers of society could retain their pure hearts - Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji (who was in equal parts praised and superficially respected for his morals, as well as considered too rigid for it - Lan Wangji is respected as a member of the aristocracy and as an ideal role model, but when the same morals he's praised for get in the way of sect interests he's criticized for it), there's MianMian, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan, a-Qing too, despite her not being a cultivator. All of those highly ideal characters exist apart from society.

Yet another plot point that's often wrongly used to paint Wei Wuxian as reckless is the ambush on Qiongqi pass, where Jin Zixuan died. The thing is, it was an ambush. He didn't have a chance to plan for it. Jin Zixun had 300 archers constantly attacking Wei Wuxian. It's already quite commendable that he was able to survive, asking for great planning in this kind of situation in ridiculous and beyond what's humanly achievable.

Moreover, despite all that, Wei Wuxian still had the presence of mind to explain the situation to Jin Zixuan and warn him not to get close or else he might die. And what did Jin Zixuan do? He asked the guy being attacked to stop defending himself instead of forcing his stupid cousin to stop attacking, then proceeded to ignore Wei Wuxian's warning and got close, then died as he'd been warned would happen. In this situation, Jin Zixuan was the one who showed an appalling lack of awareness of the situation, poor tactical skill, lack of leadership skills, poor diplomacy, and reckless behavior, not Wei Wuxian.

As for the battle of Nightless City, it was an extenuating circumstance, because Wei Wuxian wasn't sound of mind at this point. He was grieving and angry and had been targeted repeatedly for over two years by then, he'd been a victim of systemic oppression and had watched friends die. Not to mention that all of it started almost immediately after a three year long war in which he'd been a frontline soldier. He wasn't alright. And yet, he wasn't the one who started the fight. He showed up there and vented verbally at the people who'd just murdered his friends, the people responsible for s genocide, the people who'd been oppressing them for over two years, and yet Wei Wuxian only used violence after being attacked first. At this point, I think he had the right to respond with full power.

But the point here is that Wei Wuxian was pushed to this place step by step. He did everything right, he chose as best as he could, but society just wouldn't give him any other option.

I guess my point with this rant is to show that labels like self-sacrificing, reckless etc. often dismiss the context in which the characters are making their choices. Sometimes there isn't an option in which everyone gets to be safe and happy, and sometimes every single choice available will pose a great risk to life, sometimes every available option the circumstances afford the characters will end with someone they care about dying. And yet, they have to choose anyway, because the world won't stop until the stars align and all the problems disappear. No matter how fucked up the circumstances are, choices still have to be made, even if it hurts.

[winters-on-the-wing]

Oh what you said responding to the ask about transphobia/bigotry I've been looking for the right way to describe it: hard to romanticize! Thats like the foundation of this fandom it seems. Everything is whitewashed and stripped down to its bare bones to be the most relatable and palatable shit! Complexity for this fandom is babying regulus and feeling bad because his brother (rightfully so) left home. Like cmon are we not capable of being deeper than that. We base everything on the most bland tropes like brother's best friend and grump x sunshine! Truly moving and deep literature explores people in 3d not the 2d shells of people that can be described in singular words/attributes that bastardize them and make them walking caricatures of people (eg; Marlene = lesbian, Mary = pretty, James = sunshine, remus = wolf, and so on) the best art isn't easily palatable! The movies that leave you feeling ill or uncomfortable (in the good way) for lack of a better word are usually some of the best films. I feel like even aside from the racism, sexism and other problems of that sort, this fandom just lacks depth? We gave ourselves full creative power over these characters and bastardized them and it makes me so sad. There are so many smart and deep people in this fandom and I wish their analysis and ideas about the fabdom were he more popular ones instead of the ones that are easy to romanticize. Let's see conflict, not everyone has to be friends, people can be complex and not completely bad or good. Make them have complicated relationships outside of ships. What are the odds of about 13 people (the most popular characters) ALL finding their soul mates in highschool??? Like u can have sm fun exploring these characters but noooooooo. Ok sry for rambling, I'm a yapper. I'll stfu now

no. don’t stfu. never stfu.

you are absolutely right and you really boiled down something i’ve always been frustrated with.

i’m an actor. it’s my JOB to take characters from text, to see words on paper, usually ONLY dialogue and stage directions, and create a person, a fully fleshed person with wants and goals and fears and a soul. it’s my job to use the clues that the canon text provides and make the character pop out of the page, to make them compelling, to make them HUMAN.

if it’s not human, who the fuck cares? i know i sure dont.

i don’t want to read about plastic robots as they go through all the tired, stale tropes. grumpy x sunshine, enemies to lovers, best friends brother. it’s all the same. it’s a formula. it’s spoon feeding. i’m not trying to hate on people who enjoy it but i just can’t imagine being satisfied with that. the barest touch of the surface level when there’s so much if you go deeper. so much more HUMANITY. so much more meaning.

i need grit. i need people with palpable flaws, people who don’t always get what they want falling into their laps when they want it, people who are IN THE WRONG. people who think bad things and do bad things and regret it, people who do bad things and don’t regret it. people who exist messily. people who make me uncomfortable to read about because they’re so like me and i have to face the fact that i’m not perfect.

i don’t want a perfect romanticized story where the little white boy gets rescued by the big muscular casanova. i don’t want a robotic generated formula where the perfectly placed lesbian couple get just enough sentences to be seen so that the author can feel progressive and inclusive and then the lesbians get shoved off and forgotten about forever.

what happened to authenticity? what happened to bringing a piece of your soul to the art you create?

again i’m not trying to tell people how to enjoy fandom. do what you want.

it just personally saddens me how hard it is to find work with that human spark in it. the spark of curiosity, of intrigue, of going deeper than the bare surface level. i love art that makes me think. why does nobody THINK while creating anymore? sometimes i just feel so alone in this, surrounded by plastic when i want to read and write and engage with work that was written with a beating heart so palpable that it can be heard between every word.

i wish fanfics and headcanons and concepts that were created with thought were more popular than they are, instead of the same bland thing being shoved down my throat every second of the day. i constantly get hated on in this fandom for thinking differently than everyone else, but why is individuality an enemy? im starting to think that i get hated on in this fandom for THINKING, period.

does that make sense?

maybe i’m pretentious. it’s highly likely i’m pretentious.

[hope-luvs-hrtstppr]

my tlt annotations! part three: Nona The Ninth (by Tamsyn Muir) *spoilers ahead*

- i want to watch cam, pal, pyrrha, and nona’s silly little family like a sitcom

- nona is six months old and her internal dialogue’s vocabulary is still too advanced for me to comprehend fully

- “Nona was so grateful to have a whole six months of this. It was greedy to expect much longer.” (Muir, 40) under this quote i wrote ‘if anything bad happens to her in the next 437 pages, there will be blood’ …. yea

- nona is recognized by most characters (especially herself) as beautiful. so did everyone on canaan house think harrow was a baddie and just not talk about it? or is it one of those ‘under the glasses (and religious skull face paint) she was beautiful the whole time!’ situations

- hot sauce is so nonchalant

- “If I had the amount of dads you got, I’d sell some of them.” (Muir, 50) as someone with two moms and a step mom, i relate to Born In The Morning and his five dads more than any other tlt character

- “She was one of them, which gave her enormous pleasure.” (Muir, 52) at this point, i wasn’t sure who exactly was inside nona. and i knew that it probably wasn’t gideon or harrow, but there’s something so beautiful about nona getting to be fully accepted by a group of friends and be so loved and taken care of, the way griddlehark was so deprived of on the ninth. it’s a comforting thought that in some complex removed way, they could have experienced that through nona. but alas, this is not the case.

- “Being unexpectedly loved is so wonderful or terrible, isn’t it?” (Muir, 63)

- nona is so cute i want to eat her (not in a lyctor way tho)

- DESCRIBING CAM AND PAL AS “separated forever by a matter of minutes” (83) IS SO TRAGIC MUIR WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

- “Salt water has always relieved her: salt water made her feel as though, if there was someone is there with her, she would suddenly know the words to tell them everything.” (Muir, 108) THE POOL SCENE PARALLEL RAHHHHHHH

- “‘Don’t tell him I was weak.’ / ‘He’s going to know, Hect. You’re killing each other.’ / ‘It’s our choice.’” (Muir, 115) IVE BEEN SHOT???

- “yet another one of devotion’s casualties” that’s really what tlt is. it’s exploring how far devotion can go. how it can supersede generations, distance, death. muir really explores all the different ways devotion, and love, will destroy you.

- nona saying “‘And I’m not afraid of dying. Really truly Cam, I’m not.” in ntn, and harrow telling the body / alecto “Tonight I am afraid to die.” (160) in htn

- “‘I don’t let go,’ said Camilla. ‘It’s my one thing.’” (125)

- JOHN IS A FUCKING STREAMER OHMYGOD

- what pyrrha thinks is sexy: “Landmine people… some people were put into the universe to rig it to explode, then walk away… I always fell for that.” (139) and you know what she’s real asf for that

- everything was so much simpler when we were being hunted for sport at demi-god recruitment camp:((

- “You and I don’t even own our own souls,” (170) crown and cam, our fav codependent baddies who are going insane bc they haven’t been able to be in a room or touch their counterparts (corona only getting to see ianthe through babs, and pal’s body is long gone) who are both fighting in a war against the houses they are from in an attempt to be reunited with their other half along the way.

- nona saying that crown was really very nearly pretty enough for camilla

- a hot new bombshell has entered the villa (it’s prince kirona gaia the first, her divine highness, first lieutenant of the cohort, non-auxiliary heir to the emperor divine, first of the tower princes)

- “…They left you, they left you. They saw you suffering on dollar shop life-support, and they didn’t look back. They didn’t give a fuck about trying to save you. They left. / She said, ‘I don’t remember.’ / He said, ‘I can’t forget.’” (223) all the john becoming jod stuff is hitting especially hard as an american rn. john i will never forgive you but fuck if i don’t understand the rage.

- “‘God, I wish I could see your face.’ / Clack. Pause. ‘Look in the mirror.’ / Pause. ‘It’s not you. It’s me wearing you. I keep turning around to find you, and there’s nobody there.’ / Clack. ‘I know the feeling.’” (230) okay, so, what the fuck

- “I’ve carried you, Warden. And I’ve carried your memory… I’d rather carry you.” (230) i can’t even talk about them, they make me sick </3

- LOVE AND FREEDOM DON’T COEXIST, WARDEN !!!!!!

- my favorite bit is that pyrrha is a pimp

- “…and I was all, They won’t fall for that. / He said, They fell for it.” !!!!!!!! THIS IS SO RELEVANT

- nona saying that she doesn’t mind dying and she’s been doing it for ages, and pal saying that he will not be party to this again.

- We Suffer saying “we are riding the wave” like yes DBT!!

- overhearing yourself being killed in kiss marry kill is real shit, judith is twin

- ianthe saying “I want Camilla Hect on my doorstep” (302) don’t we all?

- “What did Harrowhark used to always call you? Tortoise? Blorgus?” (315) lmao do the other lyctors think harrow just gave g1deon a lil nickname

- gideon inherited jod’s tendency to crack ‘your mom’ jokes. are we all doomed to become our parents?

- nona has managed to be the gayest one in tlt and that is just impressive

- the twins scare me ngl

-WILL YOU NOT LOOK AT ME NOW, CAM, AND KNOW ME???? / YES, WARDEN, I WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU (pg 351-352) *glass breaks* *siren sounds* *screaming and commotion* *distant explosions*

- “and she had never liked her hands.” (357) - nona in ntn. “I’m just amending here; your fingers are fine.” (389) and “There were a couple of callouses now on those soft necromancer’s palms, and I was proud of you.” (391)- gideon in htn

- the only griddlehark mouth-to-mouth kiss in tlt (for now) and griddlehark wasn’t even there >:(

- idk how gideon played dead so well while coronabeth was cooing over her body and talking about how hot she used to be. ik alive gideon would be freaking tf out

- i think gideon would have appreciated her immortal corpse being a source of comedy in a way (while they were experimenting on it) like she’d be laughing too if she were there

- pyrrha = mumfucker prime

- “i don’t want much of anything anymore” (372) can that be true?? it’s gideon?? all the love that was there. the hunger to be seen. the instinct to fight. is all that remains of gideon nav kirona gaia?

- jod is a deadbeat. making gideon invincible is him being selfish, not fatherly.

- nona being back in the gang is actually so important to me !!!

- i wanna talk a little about pyrrha saying that wake had a photo of pash on her all the time and how significant that must be for pash to hear. (slight vent warning for this bullet point) i’m the youngest of 5, and i’ve always felt estranged from my older siblings in many ways. last year i learned that one of my older brothers keeps an old school picture of me in his wallet. it means everything to know that someone you look up to holds you with them when you aren’t there. to affirm that you mean something to them.

- “Gideon… G—, you died for nothing.” (390) god, imagine dying bc your bestie/boss/cult leader asked you to hold a nuke for him, being resurrected and becoming that same man’s body guard for thousands of years, dying fighting the soul of a planet he killed, and the only person who gives a shit that you died isn’t that man, but the woman you had to kill and absorb to earn his favor. anyways

- “Nothing is really ready to die,” (393)

- the og lyctors waiting around while g1deon was on his way with the nuke needs to be filmed like a messy reality tv show. im talking confessionals, dramatic music, and everyone is wine-drunk

- “Nobody enjoys a peacemaker. The more they shot each other, the angrier they got. I don’t think they even noticed me watching them.” (406) this metaphor is fire. humans go to war with each other over for having different religious views. they spew so much hatred at each other trying to force other people to conform to their standard of god’s image. their god is watching them destroy more of his children in his name. their god is witness, but that doesn’t stop them, because the fight isn’t about religion anymore. it’s just hatred.

- the scene where john kills the earth and makes alecto. chills.

- “When Nona didn’t answer, the corpse prince said— ‘Okay. Different question. Do you love her?’” (412) Gideon has always been critical (jealous) of alecto and harrow’s love for her. and here she sees alecto walking around in harrow’s body, making herself right at home, but what gives her the right to use harrow like that? to walk around in her skin? the only other person who’s done that is gideon. who gave her life to be able to do so. gideon is her cavalier. her one flesh, her one end. and now this frozen barbie who has never had to do any of that to earn harrow’s love gets to live inside her (even though gideon isn’t 100% sure nona is alecto). is she even worthy of being that close to harrow? does she even love her? (DOES SHE EVEN LOVE HER???)

- ¡¡¡¡¡¡LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND LOVE IS TOO LONG!!!!!!!

- “… and Protocol One is ‘Live’.” something about the blood of eden being the descendants of a bunch of billionaires who pulled an atrociously unethical escape from a doomed planet. and years later, their protocol one is to live. no matter the cost, you do what you need to do. you survive. meanwhile the defendants of the resurrected people of earth are raised to believe that death is a tool to be utilized. it means less to die in the nine houses. survival is the natural human instinct, but necromancy has altered that. idk just thinking about the cultural differences between the houses and the boe/everyone else

- “It’s the easiest thing in the world…to forget.” (433) something something those who forget their history are destined to repeat it. it’s so easy to look away when faced with the tragedies of the world. it’s easy to ignore the events that have taken place before you were born, or in far away countries, or to groups that you don’t belong to. but complacency is how these things are able to continue. we owe it to each other to remember.

- “I want to journey to find God.” (435) / “God is a dream, Harrow.” (436) the ninth’s devotion to the emperor undying and the locked tomb has shaped harrow’s whole life. they worship something that none of them will ever see, which is faith. harrow may be a nun but she doesn’t possess this kind of blind devotion. she broke into the locked tomb to find out exactly what it was she was worshipping. she meets god, and he was nothing to worship. because god is a dream. something to be imagined.

- “‘Kiddie stay with us.’ So Nona stayed.” (438) well fuck me

- sometimes the only thing that keeps you going is remembering that there’s a dog at home

- “Then she suddenly became aware of something else; an insistent tugging at top thought, bottom thought, and middle thought. She wanted something. She didn’t quite know what it was, only she wanted it—“ (443) Abbey by Mitski (i am hungry / i have been hungry / i was born hungry / what do i need? // i am something / i have been something / i was born something / what could i be?)

- nona calling aiglamene “the most asymmetrical person that Nona had ever seen in her short life” she’s on the verge of death and still clocking everyone

- is pyrrha flirting with aiglamene???? she rlly is mumfucker prime

- YOU CAN’T TAKE LOVED AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “‘Don’t worry, kiddie,’ she said tiredly. ‘I’ll keep loving you—my problem is I don’t know how to stop.’” STOP ENOUGH NO MORE

- ianthe and gideon dapping eachother up. how is this book real.

- “Good. Die. Die for her…it’s the only goddamn good thing you’ll ever do her. It’s all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her…but you didn’t know how.” (472) oh, gideon:(((

- “Why didn’t it feel good?” (473) OH, GIDEON:(((

- “Destroy me according to thy word, for I love thee.” harrow GET UP

- “My hands are too stained, and I am too lowly.” the last chapter where alecto wakes up has so many bars

- ending my ntn annotations with a classic: “Get in line, thou big slut.” (477)

that’s it for nona! i made these to cope with the alectopause, so i hope it helps some of you all with cope too!

i’ll see you all in part four for alecto the ninth (someday) :’)

[hotteststar]

trans regulus always makes me laugh bc 99.9% of the time i check out the author and they're an ugly white girl who despises homosexuality (in both a fauxgressive "eveyone is fluid! hearts not parts!" way AND a "the only good sex is penis in vagina sex so regulus has to have a boypussy if he's going to have a boyfriend" way) and literally always is just turning a bit-part background character into a replica of herself so she can fantasize about getting her pussy pounded by a fictional guy but in a hashtag woke way unlike the degenerates on booktok who openly admit to wanting to fuck book characters. Woc/ black transmen don't do this trans gay regulus shit, because you have to be white and a bit racist to make a teenage nazi your blorbo.

hi! so first of all insulting authors calling them "ugly" is childish and not really something that proves your point, just so you know. The fact that some people do fetishize trans people doesn't mean that every representation of them is terrible and unethical, some of us (like me) headcanon regulus as ftm trans because they feel represented and seen, since we have a similar experience with him when it comes to gender expression. I also don't really see a connection between being racist and headcanoning regulus as trans? like, i'm not black washing him? i don't think anybody ever tryied to head canon him as a not white person, so...

also, why are you referring to regulus as nazi? i mean, he doesn't even talk once in canon, so where are your proofs of him being one? and why would it be woke for me to like a complex grey character who is almost entirely made of headcanons and doesn't really have a canon personality? i really don't see the point you're trying to make here.

Last but not least, why did you text me in anonymous? do you not have the courage to hold up your opinions showing who you are?

[dreamingjuno]

THOUGHTS ON : Michael Kaiser !

MICHAEL KAISER’S NARCISSISM ( not a licensed professional, i just thought it would be fun to take a look at this perspective to better understand him! )

i was having a conversation about his character, more specifically his narcissism and had the idea to share my findings after deep diving into his character again!

NOTES ; cracks the old analyst bones in me. with the conclusion of the NEL arc (as it seems), i thought i’d explore my favorite complex god-chosen emperor! (edited a bit to fix some wording)

This part of my Kaiser analysis shows me analyzing his narcissistic traits!

SPOILERS FOR : Chapters 158-295 (basically the entire NEL now that I think about it)

(sorry if this isn’t too good or just repeating points lol)

KAISER’S NARCISSISM

I’ve heard multiple times before about Kaiser being possibly NPD coded and I considered it too, I mean — yeah it makes sense, he’s very narcissistic on the surface!

Talking through Kaiser’s character with my therapist however (yes, I did use a bit of my therapy session to discuss a fictional character’s diagnosis) and going through the important chapters where Kaiser’s mindset is shown lead me to realize he exhibits many traits of narcissism but also a deep sense of perfectionism and depression/insecurity.

Realizing that made me try to look at Kaiser in a newer light, unbiased, and this is the results of me diving deep into Kaiser’s narcissistic qualities and his character in general

So, let’s go through symptoms listed for narcissism and discuss how they do or do not relate to Kaiser to understand him better as a whole!

(Taking each point from Harvard Health)

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance

He does, I won’t deny it because it’s obvious. Kaiser acts as though he is superior to others — yet, when placed in a situation where someone obviously more talented / superior than him (Noel Noa) talks down to him, he steps back. As seen here ⟶

To me, I think Kaiser subconsciously understands where he is beneath Noa for instance while still regarding himself (at least while this panel was going on) at the top of the food chain. It’s a bit of hypocrisy on Kaiser’s end which shows itself in multiple points of Kaiser’s philosophy on living, but that may be intentional to show how flawed his way of viewing is. He sees himself at the top, while still bending at the knee to those who are more superior than he is without Kaiser even really realizing it. Superior over the inferior, but what if the superior was still only halfway there?

This hypocrisy is even acknowledged and pointed out by Chris Prince before KAISER comes to this conclusion. He literally said it all. “You act superior toward those below you… and like a deferential coward to those above you.”

His supposed superiority as the Emperor is a sham — A way to compensate with his lack of self. The throne of corpses he climbed to become ‘human’ in his mind.

I think this falls into a superiority complex of his, again, not denying that having a sense of self-importance is apart of Kaiser. He’s shown time and time again to hold himself in a higher regard than the others around him — it does come from a state of insecurity. His ego is fragile (as seen in his glass collar in his cover art), and Kaiser understands he can’t beat Noa. That’s WHY he wanted to find another club becoming of their ace instead because Noa was just an impossibility of surpassing despite his saying of “I achieve the impossible.”

Kaiser reached the top, but didn’t? He achieves the impossible, but overtaking Noa is impossible? Hypocrisy… One he only sees later (in his own way…) Superiority is like his safety blanket, it keeps him safe in his mind. Being the emperor keeps him safe from harm and being taken advantage of.

2. A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, beauty, or perfect love

They word it weird but from what I understand it means: “having a daydream / fantasy about having something greater, often at the expense of others.”

In some ways, Kaiser falls into this symptom too, but in other ways, he doesn’t. I don’t think his ambition is really ambition for to have something better, not entirely. It’s the drive to be at the top of the food chain (which is becoming my favorite analogy for describing Kaiser’s mindset!) so no one can step on him anymore. Kaiser fights for the identity and structure he’s worked for in my mind, the life and position he attained through soccer. Not necessarily the riches or comfort of his life. Even then, he never seemed like to me as someone who cared about wealth or success — caring mainly for the sense of humanity that came alongside it.

Yes, he wants to be better — but comes from a place of survival and staying at the top of the food chain than wanting things like success or power or beauty or love.

3. A belief that they are "special" and can only be understood by other special people

We’ve seen no proof at all that Kaiser sees himself as special (which IS different from holding yourself in a high regard/being superior) — actually, he views himself negatively on the inside truly. Calling himself a ‘piece of shit’ and regards everyone around him as ‘humans’ while seeing himself as less than due to the conditions and how he was treated at home. Honestly, that probably never went away even with his cocky persona. He’s still mentally weak despite how much he tries to bury it…

Neither does he show only feeling understood by others either, even the people higher class than him — it’s either frustration/anger or begrudging respect. (seen in his defeat by Isagi, where he openly admitted playing with Isagi was fun — instead of soccer just being a battleground to climb to the top)

I don’t think he’s even shown as wanting to be understood. I didn’t read the entire arc (I was already fighting procrastination to write this), but being understood? I’m pretty sure that was never even an aspiration of his, not even in his mind.

Kaiser isolated himself in BM, not accepting any of the good will given to him by his teammates. Not because he didn’t think he wouldn’t be understood, it’s that he was more comfortable being the enemy. Being alone was all he knew up to that point. Especially shown in the flashback in the BM Clubhouse when Kaiser was 15-16, he would rather be hated and feared than be loved and respected — Kaiser doesn’t know any alternative!

4. A need for excessive admiration

Again, it’s one of the symptoms that applies kinda but at the same time not.

Kaiser wants love, but not the type of admiration provided by Ness and the audience and such. While, yes, being acknowledged for his accomplishments probably feeds his ego — it’s just oil to a dying flame in my eyes. It isn’t what makes Kaiser feel seen. Why have admiration when you can be seen as a scar in malice?

“I will prove my existence through my malice.”

I don’t think admiration is the greatest need in his mind. Everyone likes to have their skill acknowledged, but for Kaiser — making others remember him by inflicting pain on them is what gives him the most satisfaction. Not happiness per se. Just… validated, I believe. Like the type of euphoria you get when you smoke a cigarette (not that I smoke but I've heard) It feels good for a little bit though even if it isn’t permanent. That’s what I believe Kaiser feels inflicting his anger and malice onto others.

A point where this is shown most of all is Kaiser’s general lack of reaction to Ness’s praise which usually ends in reprimand. He never demanded admiration or praise from Ness, Kaiser even seemed annoyed by it. He just wanted a loyal dog, not a groupie, if that makes sense. Making Ness small and dependent on him made him feel superior, and more secure — which is a trait narcissists have. But talking about Kaiser and Ness is its own can of worms!

In short, admiration doesn’t validate his existence. Malice does!

5. A sense of entitlement, which may include an unreasonable expectation to be treated favorably or for others to comply with their demands and expectations

Yeah. He does, in a way. You can see it in how the starting lineup was structured in the BM vs Barcha match. It all revolved around him. It doesn’t come from a sense of feeling he deserves it though. It’s because Kaiser needs that power over others: Kaiser wants to be the star actor in this play because that’s where he holds the most control, and that’s where he feels more secure. As I said before.

6. Behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends

He does! There are many examples of him taking advantage of others, but to not beat over the same points; I'll just go with the most obvious and clear example of Alexis Ness! Like, there's no denying that Kaiser manipulated Ness. Kaiser uses others to only further his own control and make himself feel less vulnerable. Superior over the inferior again. The ones at the top and in control won’t be hurt. That’s his mindset. So taking advantage of others is just another outlet for that control.

Kaiser uses others to further his own standing, to keep that security blanket of control over himself and the field.

7. A lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others

Kaiser has shown before to understand the needs and emotions of others as well as being emotionally intelligent about where HE goes wrong (to a point). Showing his empathy, because empathy isn’t just about feeling bad for others — it’s understanding those emotions. The best moments where he reflects: THE LEAD UP TO HIS MAGNUS SHOT and AFTER ISAGI DEFEATS HIM POST-PXG MATCH.

In the lead-up to his Magnus Shot, he basically reflects on what we've talked about so far! Kaiser reflects on his own hypocritical ideas and acknowledges he isn’t at the top of the food chain yet as Isagi and Noa have already surpassed him and how he has to go back to his own self-loathing to continue climbing ahead.

Now, going BACK to another point I previously mentioned is Kaiser’s epiphany at the end of the PXG Match! (There’s not many examples off the top of my head)

Through that entire scene, Kaiser acknowledges that it wasn’t the fault of those around him like Isagi or Ness or any of his other teammates — but himself. It was his own will that led to the outcome of the match. Kaiser acknowledges his faults, without directly saying “It’s my fault.” He KNOWS his emotions, he ACKNOWLEDGES the emotions of the people around him as well.

Kaiser, I believe, understands what he’s doing is WRONG but doesn’t act on it. Which is why I think he’s emotionally intelligent without doing anything to change what he does. At least not in any healthy way. Kaiser justifies what he does in his head, even if he understands what he’s doing realistically. Falling into his own hypocrisy again. That’s how I took it as anyway.

He reads psychology and philosophy books. I HOPE Kaiser knows what’s wrong with him

8. A tendency to be envious of others or a belief that others are envious of them

His envy isn’t really envy. It’s like his ambition. I can’t recall a point where Kaiser seemed jealous over something or envious of their position or things they had (feel free to correct me if I’m wrong of course). His rivalry with Isagi isn’t one of jealousy for example — it was originally just to step on the more inferior players that later turned into ‘Oh shit, he may surpass me. He’ll make ME inferior… weak’ fear.

9. Arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes

Talked about his arrogance in the superiority section so I won’t repeat myself!

This is PART 1 of 2 because this was already getting WAY TOO LONG.

After finishing writing this, I definitely repeated the same point multiple times and missed probably good points of evidence LMAO but I’m powering through this insanity with a dream and an unhealthy fixation with Kaiser. I hope I made sense… I really just rambled on my ideas and tried to piece them together as best as I could lol

Anyways… THANKS FOR READING!

[plainandgeneric]

I just watched Nezha 2 and oh my god let me ramble a bit, some spoilers in post!

This movie has reignited my love for this old Chinese animated film 哪吒闹海 (Nezha Conquers the Dragon King 1979) - which is one of the most beautiful, charming, and heartbreaking animated movies I've seen. Long post below:

New fans may have watched Nezha 2 for the novelty, the high box office, the stunning visuals etc, (and the hot characters of course, hello Ao Guang and Shen Gongbao 😳) but my GOD if you are a fan of the 1979 animation or of chinese mythology, it adds SO MUCH MORE CONTEXT. e.g. the "Ao Bing's soul in Nezha's body" look is a reference to the 1979 design of Nezha.

GAH! Nezha's legend is a story about hate, honour, shame, and most importantly rebirth. But since Nezha 2 is a reinvented story inspired by the myths so the context have shifted and oh my god! I have so much to say!

Self-sacrifice is a major theme in both films. 2025 Nezha did it out of grief and love. In the 1979 ver... yeah That Scene. That scene with the sword... holy.... if you've seen it you'd know what I'm talking about. Gives me chills. It's so beautifully animated, the music swells and falls silent...

Although I liked how 2025 Nezha have so much love for his parents but wow, the mix of grief/hate/love/honour/shame of the 1979ver and in the chinese cultural lore is so... tremendously complex in the most wonderful way. (Plus Nezha's lasting hatred for his father even after they both become deities is so strangely cathartic - In his death Nezha has repaid his debt, he has been reborn, no longer the third son of Lijing.) Anyways I'd love to dig deeper into the Investiture of the Gods lore!

If you really liked Nezha 2, please go watch the 1979 animated film (make sure to find one with good visual quality cause the hand drawn 2D animation is STUNNING). It's breathtaking. I will be making art and thinking about this for a while GAH!