#i just saw a post and looked at the november photo and had to laugh like yall come on

[manchesterau]

seeing so much about dan's height yall pls open up your dan and phil cat calendars and look through them

[harryssyndrome]

Manic | h.s

summery: he may be a popstar but he’s also a manic the world doesn’t know.

word count: 2.6k || Masterlist

Posted on: November 18th, 2024

This is going to be a short series if you guys like it! Here’s the prologue and chapter 1.

The darkened room was quiet, save for the soft hum of a playlist that had been playing for hours. It was a familiar sound, one that Harry Styles had heard countless times before. The music, meant to soothe and distract, did neither. It never did anymore.

Fame had always come easily to Harry. It had been handed to him on a silver platter after years of hard work, but after so long, he was tired. Not physically, not yet, but mentally. The adoration, the constant need to be the center of attention, it had become exhausting. He didn’t need the spotlight anymore. It was empty. Unfulfilling. All he really craved was something real. Something that felt tangible. But everything felt like a performance, every encounter, every interaction, a scripted scene in a play that had gone on too long.

He should’ve been happy. His name was on the lips of millions, his face splashed across billboards, and his albums charted at number one. And yet, Harry felt hollow inside.

His gaze wandered aimlessly over his phone screen. Another night of scrolling through social media, his thumb moving slowly, mechanically, as he half-heartedly browsed the posts. Then it caught his eye.

A video.

Not just any video—this one was different. A fan edit, yes, but it wasn’t the usual over-enthusiastic nonsense. This one felt… raw. Real. The video was of him, sure, but the energy was unique. The girl in the video was singing along, dancing in her room, her energy infectious. Her eyes sparkled with an unrestrained joy, her movements filled with an innocence he hadn’t seen in a long time.

She wasn’t pretending. She wasn’t trying to be cool or act like she wasn’t completely immersed in the moment.

No, this girl—YN—was different.

The video switched to another post: a selfie of her holding a cardboard cutout of him, beaming at the camera with a grin that was all enthusiasm and giddiness. The caption read: “Just me and my favorite person in the world ❤️ #harrystylesforever.”

Harry watched, transfixed, as if he couldn’t look away. There was something magnetic about her. Something about the way she adored him, but not in the way others did. There was no ulterior motive in her eyes, no agenda beyond the sheer love of his music.

For the first time in a long time, Harry felt… noticed. But not for his fame, or his status. No, this girl—YN—saw him for what he truly was. And in a way, that felt like a breath of fresh air. She wasn’t enamored with the star. She was enamored with the man.

Harry scrolled further through her feed. She had an entire shrine dedicated to him. Posters, merchandise, photos of places he had filmed music videos, concerts she’d attended. The more he scrolled, the more he realized that Kate’s world was revolving around him in a way he couldn’t quite comprehend.

It wasn’t just admiration. It was obsession. Pure and unfiltered.

And he couldn’t stop watching.

Her life was laid out in front of him, piece by piece. She posted about everything. Her favorite coffee shop. The books she read. Her friends. Her artistic creations. His song covers. Every little moment of her life was shared with a world that admired her for the very same reason she adored him.

And Harry couldn’t get enough of it.

There was a pull in his chest as he clicked on her live video, her face lighting up the screen as she spoke, her joy so pure and unguarded it felt like a drug. She laughed, her voice a melodic sound that made his heart beat faster.

“I can’t believe it,” she said, practically giddy. “Harry Styles liked my post! Do you know what that means to me? It’s like… it’s like he knows I exist.” Her voice wavered with emotion. “Like, I don’t even know how to explain it, but it’s like all of my dreams are finally coming true.”

Harry’s lips curled into a slow smile. He wasn’t used to feeling this way—this sense of control. This… pull. There was something about YN, something about the way she expressed her adoration for him, that was different from all the others. She wasn’t just a fan. She was everything he had been looking for.

And the best part? She had no idea he was watching.

He rewound the livestream, watching her over and over again, each time growing more captivated. And then, he noticed something.

In the background, through her window, the faint outline of streetlights and buildings could be seen.

It was just a glimpse. But it was enough.

The thought was sudden, almost like a seed planted in his mind. She was close. So close. It wouldn’t be hard to find her.

And that thought… that thought lingered.

YN woke up the next morning to an onslaught of notifications. Her phone buzzed incessantly, each new one making her stomach flip with excitement. She rubbed her eyes, still groggy from sleep, and grabbed her phone.

A notification from Instagram.

@harrystyles liked your post.

She blinked, staring at the words. Her heart raced. Was she dreaming? She clicked on the notification, her pulse quickening when the page loaded.

It was real.

Harry Styles, the Harry Styles, had liked her post.

Her hands trembled as she swiped through her feed. Was this really happening? The man she had adored for years—the man she had spent countless hours watching, listening to, obsessing over—had noticed her. And not just in passing. He had liked her post.

“I can’t believe it,” she whispered to herself, her voice barely audible as she scrolled through the comments.

Her followers were going wild.

“Oh my God, YN, he liked your post!”

“What? Harry Styles actually noticed you?!”

“You’re a legend, girl! This is everything!”

YN’s breath came in shallow gasps. This was bigger than anything that had happened to her before. She had posted countless videos, countless photos, all for this moment. And now, it had happened.

Her heart was still racing when she opened Instagram live. Her fingers hovered over the button. What should she say? How could she even begin to express how overwhelmed she felt?

She hit record.

“Guys,” she said, her voice trembling with excitement. “I don’t even know what to say right now. Harry Styles liked my post. Harry Styles.” She laughed, shaking her head as if she couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. “This is insane. I feel like I’m dreaming.”

She paused, looking directly into the camera. “Do you guys have any idea what this means to me? Like, this is—this is everything. This is all I’ve wanted for so long. I can’t even—”

Her words trailed off as she swiped through the screen, her eyes wide. She had just noticed the comment. A single heart emoji.

From Harry.

“I—” YN’s voice faltered. “Oh my God. He commented. Harry Styles just commented on my livestream!.”

She stared at her screen in disbelief. There was no way this was real. But it was. And it felt like the world was shifting under her feet.

Harry Styles had noticed her.

The next few days passed in a blur. YN couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that Harry Styles had seen her. He had liked her posts, commented on her videos. He had made her feel seen. Not like a fan, but like someone special.

And Harry—Harry couldn’t get her out of his head.

Every notification, every new video she posted, he consumed it with an intensity that bordered on obsession. He started following her more closely, paying attention to the smallest details in her posts. Her likes. Her comments. Where she went. What she did. Everything she shared, Harry took in like a starving man at a feast.

It didn’t take long before he started devising a plan. He could feel the pull, the magnetic attraction that drew him to her. He could feel her energy from miles away, even through a screen.

But that wasn’t enough. He needed more.

He watched her live videos, listened to the way her voice wavered with excitement when she spoke of him. He watched her laugh, heard the way her voice carried when she spoke of her love for him. And in that moment, Harry knew he had to make her feel something deeper.

Something darker.

He began to calculate. Every post she made, every comment, every moment of her life was a clue. Her routines. The coffee shops she frequented. Her favorite spots in the city.

She wasn’t just a fan.

She was a piece of a puzzle.

And Harry was going to put it together.

YN felt like she was floating in a dream, a haze of disbelief. Every time she checked her phone, she saw the same thing. Harry Styles. His name was there in her notifications, like a light guiding her through the madness of her obsession. He had liked her posts. Commented on her videos. Even sent her a heart emoji—his emoji.

She was on cloud nine, and she couldn’t help but smile whenever she thought about it. Her followers were ecstatic. Everyone knew. Everyone was talking about her. YN, the girl Harry Styles noticed.

It wasn’t just the likes and comments. It was the way he watched her. She could feel it, like a weight on her chest. When she posted something new, she checked her notifications more than she should. And there it was—always there. Harry’s eyes on her.

Her room, the one she’d carefully decorated with Harry memorabilia, felt like a shrine, but not just to him. It felt like it was for him, a window into her life. A way for him to see her.

Harry had stopped just liking her posts. He had begun watching her live streams, something YN had been dreaming of but never truly expected. His presence was palpable. She could almost feel his gaze through the screen, like he was right there with her. The thought sent shivers down her spine.

But what did it mean? Was this just a phase? Was Harry really paying attention, or was it just a fleeting moment for him? She wondered if she would wake up one day and realize it was all a dream. No. No, this was real. He had to care.

In the dark of his bedroom, Harry sat back in his chair, phone in hand. His eyes flicked over the screen, watching YN’s every move. Her excitement, her vulnerability, her eagerness to please him. Every post, every comment, was a step deeper into the labyrinth he was creating.

He had started by watching her like any other fan. But something about her had drawn him in. The way she spoke. The way she laughed. The way she seemed real. Not a pretend version of a fan, not just someone fawning over his fame, but someone who truly adored him. No one had adored him like that in a long time.

She was his escape, his secret obsession. Her life was a mosaic of small moments that, when pieced together, painted a clear picture. He could see it all now—the places she went, the routines she followed. She was so predictable, so easily found. And that’s when the dark thoughts started creeping in.

He wasn’t just content with being a distant figure in her life. He needed to be closer. He needed to own her adoration, to control it.

The first step was simple.

Harry sent her a message.

A direct message.

He’d done it casually, almost nonchalantly. He commented on her latest post, then slid into her DMs under the guise of admiration, complimenting her style, her energy. It was a gentle nudge. But the more he messaged, the more it became clear. She wanted him. She needed him. Her responses were quick, eager, every message dripping with excitement. It fed him, fueled the fire inside of him.

They exchanged pleasantries at first. She gushed over how much his music meant to her, how he had been a source of inspiration. Harry watched it all, reading between the lines. She was enamored, yes, but there was something more. She was a fan, but she wanted more. She needed to be noticed.

And he could give that to her. But first, he had to make her feel something else. Something darker.

One night, when the world outside was still and quiet, Harry did something that would push his obsession further into a twisted reality.

He didn’t tell YN. He didn’t send a message. There was no warning.

He simply showed up.

YN’s apartment building wasn’t far from where he was staying. It took him only a few hours to figure out where she lived. It wasn’t hard. The clues were always in plain sight.

When he arrived, he parked his car a few blocks away and walked quietly to her building, his heart hammering in his chest. He wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t scared. But there was something thrilling about being so close to her.

Standing outside her window, he could see her inside, oblivious to the fact that he was watching. She was sitting at her desk, the soft glow of her computer screen illuminating her face as she scrolled through her phone.

Harry stayed hidden, just out of sight. His breath quickened as he watched her. She’s mine, he thought. She just doesn’t know it yet.

He waited until the apartment was dark, until the only light that remained was the dim glow of her bedside lamp. She was ready to sleep.

When she finally stood and moved toward her bed, Harry crept up to her window. He didn’t knock. He didn’t need to.

His fingers wrapped around the ledge of the window, and with a single, practiced motion, he slid it open.

The soft creak of the window didn’t alert her. YN was too lost in her thoughts to notice anything. She was just getting ready for bed, unaware that the man she idolized, the man she felt was just a part of her dreams, was standing in the darkness outside her window, staring at her.

Harry’s breath caught in his throat. The view of her room, her soft silhouette against the dim light, her hair falling over her shoulders, her delicate features bathed in the soft glow—it was like a dream. But it was real. He was here. Watching.

He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a small vial, the smell of her perfume still lingering on it. He pressed it to his nose, inhaling deeply. Her scent filled his lungs, and for a moment, he felt closer to her than he ever had.

He watched her move to her bed, getting under the covers. His body tensed, heart racing as he took a few steps forward.

The feeling was intoxicating. This was no longer about admiration. This was about ownership. Control. Harry had to make her see him. He had to make her crave him the way he craved her.

He stayed for hours, watching, as YN shifted in her sleep, her body curled under the blankets. He wanted to touch her—just one touch—but he couldn’t. Not yet.

He caressed the glass, the smooth surface cold under his fingertips.

“I’ll be back, and then we’ll be together..” he whispered softly, barely audible.

And then he left.

As Harry retreated into the shadows of the night, his mind raced. He had tasted it now. The power. The control. He had planted a seed, and it would grow.

The game had just begun.

[yumeka-sxf]

It's been a few months since my last merch haul post, so time for another one! As usual, acrylic stands are my main purchases, with the below set being one of the rarest I've found 💖

The reason these are so rare is because I couldn't get them from my usual places on Amiami and Mercari JP. They're from a company called Ultrizon and are currently only sold in China. I saw them advertised on Twitter from a shop in Thailand and decided to reach out on the off chance that the shop would ship to the US. And much to my pleasant surprise, the shop, Chibishiba, replied and said that they would ship to me 😃 I was a bit concerned because they seemed to be just a small "mom and pop" shop, with only Twitter DMs as their form of communication and they kept track of everyone's orders in a google sheet. But I looked around on their social media and they seemed legit, so I placed an order (a few other fanatics I know on Discord did as well!) And thankfully, they were totally legit! They ordered the items from China, then once they shipped to Thailand, they then shipped to me in the US! Only took a few weeks 😁

Here's some more photos because they're so lovely~ For some reason the two Twiyor sets make me think of a scenario where they're going to a dance or other fancy event together (the left ones), but then something happens and they have to switch to "action mode" to stop a villain, save Anya, etc (the right ones).

Bond looks so adorable in his suit~ Also the one of Anya on the left is her totally thinking "Papa and Mama are so cool 🤩"

Even though I typically only buy merch with the Forgers, Yuri, Damian, and Franky were also part of this set. Lol, when I made the below photo of the three of them, I laughed because it looks like they're posing for a photo, with only Damian having fun��Yuri's like "whatever" and Franky's like "how long will this take, I have a date!" 😂

Besides the Ultrizon acrylics, the other ones I was most looking forward to getting were these chibi ones from the cruise arc (two different sets)

Between all of these, I now have acrylics of the Forgers' full wardrobe from the cruise arc 😅 My favorites are suit Yor, "I won't stop fighting" Yor, and Fun Dad Loid!

I really liked these Twiyor acrylics from the recent Tsukuba collab. It's like they're going on a hiking date ❤️

I also got these chibi "famous scene" acrylics from the Waku Waku Park event.

I've been trying so hard to get the complete set of these big acrylics for a few months now...I managed to find Loid and Anya, but no one is selling Yor 😭 (or Bond). I won't stop looking though!

As for non-acrylic figures, I've been looking forward to getting this Yor & Anya figure for over a year! It was actually one of the first SxF items I preordered, way back in November of 2022! Considering they had the colored prototype available way back then, I'm surprised it wasn't officially released until March of 2024. But worth the wait ❤️

For Code White's release, I got the set of Luminasta figures (all three for a good price on eBay).

Also chibi Loid & Yor~ I know there's a ton of chibi Loid and Yor figures out there, but I really liked these for some reason.

Last month I went back to Kura Sushi for the last merch from their recent collab: this nice shirt~ You were able to get it if your bill was at least $70, which isn't hard to do if you bring a friend with you and you both eat a bunch of sushi! (well, he did most of the eating, lol). I'm planning to wear it for the first time at Anime Expo in July 😁

They also had this little Anya dessert.

And miscellaneous items I recently got were these pretty picture cards that I plan to make scans of.

The McDonald's collab booklet, the season 2 complete set box, and the Loid & Anya cloth poster that came with the box. I also plan to make scans of these!

A mug from the Tobu Zoo collab.

And lastly, some new decals for my car! I found this set at Walmart of all places, lol. Found room for them among my other decals.

Since I bought so many new acrylics and figures lately, I had to do a major reorganization of my display shelves. But I'll save those photos for another post~

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter Twelve

chapter warnings: none!

team vinny we are so BACK!! happy friday, happy belated birthday to noah sebastian the man that you are and happy november! it's a week until my birthday and i'm sooo happy about the chapter that'll be coming out that day <3

also if anyone was at apocalypse fest or vin's afterparty dj set i hope you had the best time ever it looked soo fun!!! i've been torn between not wanting to check twitter because of the intense fomo but also wanting to see all the pictures and videos :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You walk into the green room after lunch, carrying your laptop and camera in your arms ready to show Bryan and Matt the pictures you and Noah chose last night to post on the band’s social media accounts. However, as you walked up to the door you could hear Justin talking. You stopped where the guys couldn't see you and listened in on what they were saying.

“I don’t know who was in the hotel room next to me last night, but it sounded like they were having a great time.” Justin laughed. “I don’t think they stopped for almost four hours, I almost had to knock and tell them to shut up.”

"Really?" You heard Ryan scoff, but as he was about to say something else you walked in, greeting the guys and ignored the way Vinny was glaring at you from the couch in the corner, barely looking up from his phone. 

“Y/n! Do you have those photos ready?” Matt asked as he sat down, leaving the only space for you between him and Vinny. 

“Yep, why don’t you take a look?” You smiled, opening up your laptop and loading the edited pictures. 

“So these are the ones Noah chose last night?"

"Yep, it was a tough decision but we decided on these few."

"They look sick! I love that one with Folio in the back." He smiled, clicking through the pictures. "Could you send them to me? I’ll get them posted tonight.”

“Of course.” You said, quickly sending the pictures to your phone.

“Matt, they need you out there, somethings gone wrong with the mic.” Chris chuckled, walking into the room to get another water bottle.  “Noah’s pissed.”

“Fuck,” Matt groaned, stretching as he got up, “I better go and see what they’ve fucked up. But thanks, y/n.”

"No problem." You smiled.

As he left, Chris and Ryan shortly followed behind him, leaving you in the room with Justin, Ricky and Vinny. As the others were busy talking about something, you saw Vinny put his phone down on the table, rubbing his eyes.

“So,” you began, not bothering to look up from your phone as you spoke to him, “How's Caitlin?”

“How should I know? She went home yesterday before we went back to the hotel.” He sighed, “So you and Noah had fun last night?”

“What do you mean?” You looked over at him as he shrugged, sitting back on the couch, his legs spread as he rests his hands on his head.

“I know your room is next to Justin’s, and I saw the way you kept looking at him yesterday.” He said, “C'mon, tell me I’m wrong.”

“Vin, what happened to leaving each other alone.” You groaned, running your fingers through your hair. He smirks, seeing how frustrated you were becoming.

“Does he know?”

“Know what?” You asked. 

“About us?”

“There isn’t an us, Vinny. There wasn’t an us.”

“So I mean nothing to you? That meant nothing to you?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Vinny, I never said that.” 

“I can’t keep doing this with you.” He sighed.

“You’re the one who brought it up!” You argued, trying your best to keep your voice down and stay calm.

“And you’re the one who started it-”

“What are you two arguing about?” Angela laughs, walking into the room and dropping her bag down onto the table.

“He's being a dick, nothing new.” You hissed as you picked up your things and stormed out of the room.

“Woah,” Angela gasps, “What have you done to upset her like that?” She crosses her arms as Vin shakes his head.

“I haven’t done anything, she’s just suffering the consequences of her own actions.” He shrugged, picking his phone back up as Angela rolled her eyes and chased after you, as Rick and Justin looked at Vinny in confusion.

“Y/n? What happened?” Angela asks. Smiling softly as she found you sat on the step outside, your head in your hands. 

“Everything’s such a mess,” you frown, looking up at her, “I’ve fucked everything up with Vinny, and now I’m afraid I’m leading Noah on.” 

“Wait... Rewind, tell me what’s happened whilst I’ve not been here.” She said, sitting down beside you. 

You tell her everything, and watch as she takes it all in, putting everything together in her head as you catch her up on what's happened in the few days she's been away.

“Sounds like Vinny’s just jealous.” She states.

“But it’s my fault.” 

“No, honey, you set your boundaries and told him you only want to be casual, no strings, right? And he’s still holding on to this hope you’ll drop Noah for him, because he's mad that Noah now doesn’t have to share you with him.”

“But I don’t want Vinny to hate me,” you frown, feeling your voice begin to crack as you speak, “I really like him, I'd be more than happy to just be friends with him but I don't see that happening, do you?”

“Hey, he doesn’t hate you, y/n. I know Vin and I know for a fact he's upset but he does not hate you.” She reassured you, taking your hand in hers.

“Then how do I stop him from being upset? It's not like I can apologise, there's nothing to apologise for!”

“He’s a guy, buy him food or something- No, I’ve got an idea! Follow me!” She grins suddenly, rising to her feet.

"Angela, what are we-"

"Shh, I have a plan, okay. Trust me!"

Angela pulls you up and you follow her back inside. You follow her through the venue, to where the majority of the guys currently were for soundcheck. 

“Y/n’s going to get pizza!” Angela called out, and everyone but Ricky’s face lit up, “I’m sending her and Vin out to get it since they're not really doing anything right now, so if you wanna let her know what you’re getting…”

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows, “But I’ve only just had lunch!”

“Well we haven’t,” you hear Bryan say, “I’ll get pepperoni!”

The guys all told you their orders, and Rick said he’ll order something else in something before the show. As Angela had announced it out loud to all the guys, Vinny couldn't find a way out of this, not wanting to draw any attention to the situation they were all unaware of by causing a scene.

You were expecting the walk to the shop to be unbearable, but it was actually going pretty well. Neither of you spoke a word to each other, both too afraid of saying something wrong and starting another argument as that's all you seem to do at the moment when you're together.

“Is there any reason Rick was the only one of the guys who didn’t want pizza?” You ask, testing the waters and breaking the silence between you. 

“He hates pizza,” he said bluntly, before adding, “He’s said before that it’s his kryptonite.”

“No way, who can hate pizza?”

“Well... Rick,” he shrugs, still looking down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, “I know I’m biased because I’m Italian, but I almost fought him on the spot when I found out.”

“I can't believe it." You chuckle, before another thought came to you and you turned to look at him. "Do you ever have sauce with pizza?”

“What kind?”

“Ketchup, mayo-”

“Hell no!” He exclaimed, “That’s an actual disgrace! Mayo is bad enough alone, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it…” 

“Exactly! Thank you!” You agreed, “Bryan always eats pizza with mayo and it freaks me out.”

“He’s insane! You will never catch me eating pizza with any sauce, ever!” He chuckles, holding the door to the pizza shop open for you. 

You collect the pizzas, and you're thankful the guys decided to share so you only had to carry three boxes, whereas Vinny had to carry 4. You were also thankful it was only a short walk back to the venue, but that didn’t mean Vinny didn’t get stopped by a few passing fans asking for pictures with him, and couldn't say no.

“I’m so sorry, Vinny.” You tell him as you continue to walk back, and he looks at you in surprise. 

“For what?”

“Everything, I knew we should’ve just stayed friends but everyhting just happened so-”

“Hey,” he stopped you, “Forget about it, okay? It’s in the past. We need to spend another two and a half months together and the guys will be so confused if we’re just fighting or avoiding each other the whole time.” He smiled.

“I guess,” you frown, looking over at him, “Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to thank me y/n, it’s the mature thing to do, right? Let's put everything behind us, I just want to move on.”

“Yeah, me too.” You smile, cursing Angela because whatever her plan here was, it certainly worked. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take another one?” He asks, motioning to the pizza boxes

“No! You’re already carrying 4, Vin. We'll be back in a couple minutes anyway.”

To say you were happy that whatever happened between you and Vin was now resolved was an understatement, because you really loved his company. As you brought the pizzas in, Angela got the door for you two, giving you a look to say ‘I told you so’. 

“Vin you’re needed out here!” You hear Justin call out, and Vinny dumps his pizza boxes down on the table in the green room before making his way out. 

“So… I see you two haven’t killed each other. Worked things out?” She crossed her arms with a smirk as you went through each box and checked your notes app to find whose was whose. 

“I think so,” you said, “I didn’t expect him to just forgive me that easily but he did?”

“Like I told you, he doesn’t hate you, baby. He doesn’t have the ability to.” She chuckled, and some of the guys started to come into the room. 

“Ryan, this is yours and… Ruffilo’s. This is Bryan and Noah’s, that one’s Folio's and Justins, this one is Chris’, that one there’s for Matt and Jolly…”

You gave out everyone’s pizzas, and when you sat down pizza-less, Vinny noticed and shuffled over to the spot on the couch next to you. 

“Wanna share?” He asked, holding a slice out for you. You weren’t hungry, not after only having your lunch an hour ago, but you took it anyway and thanked him. 

“Got any ketchup?” You joked, a slight smirk on his lips as he looked at you in horror. 

His face lit up, telling you he had an idea, and before you knew it he was digging through a plastic bag in the corner of the room, walking back with packets of mayo and ketchup, catching the attention of the others.

“You’re not…” You couldn’t finish your sentence as he towered over you, opening the packet of ketchup and putting it on your slice of pizza. “You bitch!” You gasped, putting it back down in the box and snatching one of the packets of mayo from him, covering a slice in it and handing it out to him. 

“I will if you will.” He shrugged. 

“Vin, you can’t be serious.” 

“I’m totally serious, why? Are you scared?”

“No! Are you?” 

“Pfft! Of course not, I'm not a pussy!” He shook his head.

"Oh yeah?" You raised an eyebrow.

“How long do you reckon it’ll be until they fuck?” Ryan asked, watching the of you, and Folio and Angela both snorted, earning questionable looks off the others, especially Noah.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Motionless had just finished playing, and as it was Bryan’s day to go out and shoot some photos for Bad Omens so you stayed back in the green room. Through Motionless’s set, you and Nicholas were having a debate on whether Ricky or Vinny was taller, and you both settled on believing it was Rick- but throughout their set, and the hours leading up to it, Noah didn’t speak a word to you. You just assumed it was so nobody suspected anything after last night, but he genuinely seemed pissed off. He didn’t even laugh when you made any jokes, he didn’t even bother to ask you what Matt thought of the pictures. 

It wouldn’t have bothered you so much if Angela didn’t also pick up on his behaviour. As the Bad Omens guys left to get ready to go on, she came and sat by you. 

“Someone is clearly jealous of you and Vin,” she chuckled, “It’s funny really. He has no idea does he?”

“Who has no idea of what?” You asked, repositioning yourself to sit cross legged on the couch. 

“Noah doesn’t know about you and Vin, but Vinny knows everything about you and Noah.”

“Ang, please. Vinny was only telling me to tell Noah this morning, but I don’t see why I have to.”

“Because he hasn’t spoken to you all afternoon, he’s been watching you and Vin eye fuck and he’s jealous.”

“We weren’t-”

“Girl, I saw what I saw. If Noah really meant as much to you as it seems, you would’ve realised too. Ryan certainly did.”

“What did I do?” You heard Ryan ask, setting his mask down on the table and shaking his sweaty hair. 

“Nothing.” Angela smiled, as she finished packing her makeup away, “See you guys on Friday!” 

You forgot you all had the day off tomorrow, meaning another night in a hotel bed instead of the tour bus, and you were grateful. 

“Update!” You heard Vin say, and as you turned around you saw the dreaded sight of Ricky with his camera, and you got up ready to flee, “We literally just got off stage, I went nuts out there, we all went nuts out there... I think I need a shower… Hey y/n, do you think I need a shower?” He was suddenly invading your personal space, his arms wrapping around you in a scarily sweaty hug, and what was left of his body paint was rubbing off on you. 

“Vincenzo I swear if you don’t let go of me right now!” You threatened, pushing him away. 

“Y/n, give me an update!” Rick smiled behind the camera. 

“Update- Is this my first update? Vin stinks, and I’m gonna beat his ass for covering me in sweaty paint!” 

“You would never!” You hear him shout from the hallway, presumably on his way to get changed. 

“Oh yeah?” You grin, quickly reaching in your bag for your deodorant and chasing him. 

“Shit!” He laughs, watching you walk into the dressing room and approach him, “I’m sorry!” 

“Oh yeah?” You smirk, ready to spray him, but he reaches out, taking your wrists in his hands, fighting you off. “Vinny!” You laugh as he tackles you.

You end up pushed up against the wall, his hands holding your wrists above your head as you can't help but giggle, ready to surrender.

“Woah!” Justin's eyes widen as he walks in, “Please tell me I’m not interrupting anything!” 

“No,” you say as you wiggle out of Vinny’s grasp, “Not at all!” 

Justin looks unsure as he looks between the two of you. 

“I’d tell you guys to get a room, but you both have one, and I’d much rather you do… Whatever this is there.” He chuckles. 

———————————————

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

november with you | kylian mbappé (part i/iii)

kylian mbappé x original female character [+18]

synopsis: alice has been living in paris for a year, she found a perfect job and a perfect boyfriend in this city, but the cold of november is bringing back old memories she wishes she could forget. warnings: established relationship; mentions of cheating; angst; smut; domestic fluff; i have never been to france; minors dni.

(this is a sequel to the french exit, but can be read as standalone)

masterlist | next chapter

Part I — Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

“Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken?”

“Don't laugh.”

“Why would I laugh?” Kylian asks, already laughing.

Alice tried to keep a straight face when looking at him, but she only has love in her eyes. Her boyfriend had a boyish smile on his face and it's a look that never failed to soften her heart.

“Alright, get your giggles out… But this is serious!” She says softly, holding back a smile.

The blonde held up her phone, displaying a picture of their cat to Kylian. Then, with her impeccably manicured finger, painted in a beautiful maroon color, she swiped to the next photo, which was nearly identical but featured the cat in a slightly different pose.

"Which one do you think I should post?" Alice asks. Her eyes, filled with curiosity, were fixated on him.

Kylian burst into laughter, reaching for her hand and the phone she was holding. He pulled her onto his lap, studying the pictures more carefully.

“Wait, let me see…” He says. He analyzes the pics with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, his playful smile never leaving his face.

The three of them – Alice, Kylian and Renoir, the cat – were in the living room of their shared apartment, sitting on their spacious, inviting couch. Outside, it was raining in Paris. The soft rain was casting a serene and cozy atmosphere over the home.

"I'm sharing it on my private account," Alice says. She’s staring at her nails as she speaks. A hint of something more weighed on her mind, and Kylian easily understood her unspoken thoughts.

"This one," he decided, "this one's just right."

He handed her the phone, and a smile spread across her face as she promptly shared the picture for her closest friend to see.

When Alice Morgan-Webber started dating Kylian Mabappé, the French media couldn't get enough of her. Once they made it official, it was like every news outlet fell head over heels for the couple. You couldn't escape their faces: it was printed everywhere. It felt as if the entire City of Love was cheering for their romance. Her stunning looks and magnetic charm had Kylian's fans from all over the world captivated. 

Being an American socialite, the attention she received inevitably turned into numerous magazine covers and fashion editorial features. Alice, who was already working at a fashion magazine, became a part-time model and a world-wide influential it-girl, all thanks to the apparent modern-day fairy tale she was living.

The thing about people is – they tend to lose interest when they see someone's face as often as the Parisians saw Alice’s. It wasn't long before the rumors began. Even though she knew they would come, Alice wasn't thrilled to hear them. People couldn't stop talking about one thing in her new relationship – how incredibly fast she had moved on after calling off her engagement.

The terms “cheating” and “affair” started to show up more and more in articles written about the couple.

Kylian comforted her, assuring her that the media's attention would soon shift to the next manufactured scandal. He eased her worries, pointing out that there were no witnesses to their supposed ‘love crime’.

"David knew I was seeing someone else…" She admitted, her anxiety rising at the idea of the true story of how they met being exposed.

"Baby, stop stressing about it. That’s not the kind of thing a man shares. He won’t speak to the media." Kylian gently smoothed out the lines forming on her forehead and gave her a soft kiss there.

But that was over a month ago. Now, it’s November, the autumn leaves are falling and the chilly wind is making Alice start to stress over different things.

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"I've been living in Paris for a year now," Alice says to Clara, her coworker and dear friend. "I knew it would take me a while to adapt, but now I feel like I'm back to square one."

They were in the meeting room of the magazine, having just finished a meeting. The two of them were used to staying a little longer to chat before returning to their desks. Working for a prestigious fashion magazine was exciting, but there were days when it felt like any regular desk job.

However, Alice had no interest in rushing back to her cubicle. She was worried. Alice looked out one of the large, modern glass windows in the room. "I feel like just as much of an outsider as when I first got here," she admitted. Her days were blending with the memories of when she had first arrived. Back then, she had a diamond engagement ring on her finger and dreams bigger than what real life could offer. It hadn't taken long for the chill, blue weather of France to affect her heart. It had taken Kylian quite a while to warm it up once again. Now, Alice was concerned that the weather was cooling her spirits. She didn't want to feel blue, not after making so much progress.

Clara nodded, trying to show her support. “But just because it may feel the same, doesn’t mean it is the same. Everybody knows you now, chéri, you’re a celebrity!” Clara hugged her friend, trying to cheer her up. “Let’s have dinner together, you need a girl’s night out!” 

Her friend is kind and well-intentioned, but there was a deeper feeling, a sense of not quite belonging, that Clara seemed to struggle to fully understand.

As her shift came close to its end, Alice found herself staring at her laptop, her thoughts drifting away. Kylian was in another country for a Champions League game – a chill ran down her spine as she remembered how David used to leave her alone for days without a word. Now she knew for sure he had another woman. Determinedly, she tried to dispel the intrusive thoughts from her mind. Kylian is working, she knows that. And Clara is right, this time is different. Alice blamed her insecurity and anxiety on her hormones and pushed forward with her day.

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thank you so much for having me @bazaarfrance 🤍 and thank you to the dream team! En kiosque, ce mercredi 15 novembre.

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"You smell so good," Kylian mumbled with his face buried in Alice's hair. He had just walked in the door and immediately enveloped her in his arms. "Why do you smell so good?"

Alice could barely speak through her giggles. "I smell the same, silly!" She almost missed his reply, his voice muffled as he showered her with kisses.

"Maybe I just miss you too much."

Peaches, Kylian thought. His baby always smells like peaches. It’s cold November but she always smells like his favorite summer memories. They had been apart for no more than 48 hours, but the moment they were finally allowed to hug each other again, they both shared a profound sense of relief.

Alice takes a moment to appreciate her boyfriend. His beauty. She stares at his face, making sure all her favorite details are still there. He’s really a sight to behold, and she couldn't help but feel her cheeks warming. Even after all this time, just the sight of him was enough to make her blush.

When he takes her to their bedroom, their love den, she takes off his shirt in a hurry. She feels an instinctual need to see him – to admire him. She can’t help but reduce his athletic body to its aesthetic. Alice is a first hand witness to the sacrifices he makes to have that physique, but in the moment of pleasure, she could swear he was hand-sculpted by the gods themselves.

“I missed you too…” She confesses in a whisper, like he wasn’t sure of it already. 

It’s with devotion that they start to touch each other. With a passion that can only come from a strong bond. Kylian lifts her, wrapping her leg around his hips and finally kissing her on the lips. A guttural moan escapes him – every neuron on his brain was focused on the taste of her lips. 

There is nothing in the world quite like coming home to the one you love. And being received with such care, Kylian wondered what he did to deserve this much happiness.

“I love you.” He kisses her again. “I love coming home to you.” Another kiss. He gently lays her on the bed. Alice’s legs are still holding him close, she can feel him growing hard so she pushes him closer to her core. “And I love fucking you.” Another kiss, this time muffling a moan as Alice’s feels herself melting when she hears him say that.

Alice leans back into her pillow, sighing with her eyes closed. She takes a deep breath, feeling her heart pounding, as if it was trying to escape from her chest.

After taking off the rest of their clothes, Kylian crawls over her, placing himself back between her legs – only this time there was no piece of fabric keeping them apart. Flesh on flesh – their bodies were burning. She was wet before, but now the tension between them felt overwhelming. As Kylian moved, she let out a groan.

He had one hand beside her head, supporting himself, and another hand wrapped around his cock, gently rubbing himself on her folds. The sensation was electrifying, Alice wanted to reach down and guide him inside her. 

"You feel so good," Kylian murmured between kisses. He leans down, his voice a whisper in her ear, "Do you want me?" She nodded slowly, begging with her eyes, wanting for him to be inside her more than anything in the world. Kylian pushes himself into her – slowly and steady, stretching her patiently.

They both gasped at how amazing it felt.

“Oh my God…” Alice could barely contain herself. Kylian takes the opportunity to take one of her nipples in his mouth, he suckled and nibbled on it, causing Alice to moan and push herself against him. 

As he enters her deeper, thrusting into her, Alice cries out in pure ecstasy. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him for another kiss. They found a good rhythm and continued like that for some time. The heat, the tightness, it was all too much to bear, Alice could feel herself getting close – she was panting heavily. She reaches up and gently traces her fingers along his face. 

“Almost there?” He asks, whispering to her.

“Yeah.”

Kylian doesn't waste any time. He grabbed her hips tightly, his pace became rougher, more urgent and he groaned with each stroke, going as deep as possible, moving faster and harder until they were both crying out loudly, holding onto each other.

They fall side by side on the bed afterwards. Their breathing slowed down and Alice snuggled next to Kylian, with her head on his shoulder.

“You keep getting better at this.” She says, giggling.

“We keep getting better.” He corrected her with a loving smile.

[hypnofur1]

The Thanksgiving Problem

By Hypnofur

I laughed when I got the picture from my wife on my phone. I texted back, asking her who took it, as it was a picture of her and her friend Paulina strolling down the street together. It was clear that someone had taken it for them, as it wasn’t a selfie.

My wife Alison texted back that Paulina had some girl on the street take it for her. She said that she liked the pictures she posted to look ‘authentic’, and that meant ‘candid’ shots taken by someone else, not selfie. Had I been with Alison, I would have gone on a rant about how not only did this picture not look authentic, but there was nothing authentic about Paulina at all. I hadn’t been a fan since college, and Alison knew that. However, that rant was a lot to type, so I just let it go, and instead asked Alison if she had forgotten her coat.

She texted back that indeed she did, as she had been in Houston too long, and totally forgot that Chicago would be cold in late November. Paulina let her borrow one of her little fur jackets. Despite that, the two of them still looked so different in this picture. Paulina also had a little fur jacket on, but with leather pants and leather boots. Her hair and make up was done to perfection, and she had a “I’m not even aware my photo is being taken” look on her face that she had clearly practiced many times.

Alison, in contrast, was in jeans and sneakers and looked out of place in a fur jacket. She looked right at the camera and laughed, likely a bit embarrassed about how silly it all was. As had been the case since college, despite all of Paulina’s glam, Alison was just prettier. Her looks were natural. I had pointed out many times that she was the prettier of the two, but she never believed it. She just thought it was the husband in me talking.

What the husband in me was actually doing was killing time “babysitting” the kids. Yes, I know it is not actually babysitting if they kids are your own. But, whatever, there was one of me and two of them and they were energetic as all hell. I was actually at the trampoline park at the time of this exchange.

I was annoyed that Alison had to fly to Chicago on the weekend before Thanksgiving to be with Paulina to help her though her (latest) divorce. With that said, the original ‘ask’ was for Alison to come spend the actual Thanksgiving in Chicago with her. We were hosting this year, so luckily that was out right from the get go. So, when that didn’t pan out, the weekend before Thanksgiving was the consolation. It was only really for a night, since there was a Saturday morning flight out, and a Sunday night flight back.

Alison kept texting me though out the evening. Telling me about the fancy restaurant, etc. Paulina was loaded. I was trying to keep up with the texts, but I had baths, dinner, bed times, etc. It was busy, and I was exhausted. Again, I know I shouldn’t admit that taking care of my own kids by myself for one day was exhausting, but damn… it was. I conked out on the couch shortly after getting them to sleep.

I awoke at close to 5am. I decided I would head up to my actual bed, as the kids typically woke up around 7. I checked my phone, and saw a ton of texts and a few emails from Alison.

The first few were about a group of guys they met while out. Alison said they were the typical dumb 40 somethings out on the town. Probably all divorcees. Then she wrote how Paulina was eating up the attention. No surprise there, that was her typical behavior. Then again, I would think most women going through a divorce would try to get some attention to feel better for a little bit. No biggie.

I scanned through a bunch of the other texts, they were mostly describing the dudes. I imagined Alison was more comfortable looking at her phone than talking to these guys, so the play by play made sense to me.

She started talking about how this one guy named Joe was a hypnotist. Pretty soon, most of the texts and play by play became about that.

She texted how Paulina was teasing him, and there was going to be a demonstration right there at the bar.

The next text seemed to be fifteen or so minutes later. Alison said that she couldn’t believe it, but Paulina was actually hypnotized. Apparently, she thought she was a cat, and climbed up into Joe’s lap.

I would have actually loved to have seen that. It would have been fun to see Ms. SuperCool Paulina do something embarrassing with a nerdy dude. Fortunately, a picture of her on the guy’s lap was next. Damn, she was really on him. This was crazy.

A few minutes later, there was a text that said, heading back to Paulina’s, and a complaint that the hypnotist guy got Paulina to invite them all back. I could tell that despite the fact that this text was now like 6 hours old, Alison was nervous. This wasn’t her scene. I didn’t like it either. She (we) didn’t know these guys. What if one of them was an axe murderer or something?

The next text was like an hour later. Paulina had taken her phone, and at least announced herself via text, so I knew who was typing. She asked if I wanted to see my wife get hypnotized. It was a rhetorical question, not only because it was asked hours ago, but also because it was immediately followed by a link.

I looked at the text of the link. It appeared to be some type of dark web youtube for people that were into hypnosis in a sexy way? Hypno-fetishists, I guess? My stomach flip flopped as I realized that this Joe guy must be some sort of hypno porn producer or something. Oh fuck.

However, this was my wife, and I had to figure out what kind of danger she (and we) were in, so I had no choice but to click the link.

In the video, Alison was standing in Paulina’s kitchen. She didn’t look comfortable. She still had Paulina’s fur jacket on, as if she was going to leave at any moment. Now, I knew that she was staying at Paulina’s condo, so she really didn’t have anywhere else to go, but she was clearly trying to give off a closed vibe. Two other guys were just standing there, and the Joe guy came up to her. I assumed the third guy was now holding the camera. Meanwhile, Paulina was just standing there, staring at this little, fat, Joe dude like he was the most interesting man in the world. This all looked so unsafe.

I became wracked with guilt. How could I have fallen asleep? I should have been texting with her. I should have been there to keep her safe!

“Well, Alison,” Joe said. “Earlier, at the bar, you seemed to think this was all nonsense. I’ve got to ask, do you believe in hypnosis now, after seeing your friend fall under my spell?”

“Maybe,” Alison said. “I guess, on the right person. On someone like Paulina at least.” She said. I know she never thought of Paulina as being that bright. I agreed with that assessment.

“That’s true, that’s true,” Joe said, nodding. “Though I would argue that more people are actually in that ‘right person to be hypnotized’ group than one would think”

Alison shrugged. She looked like she so desperately did not want to be there.

“And you don’t think you are one of those people, I’m guessing. You know, from your body language and stuff” Joe asked.

“I have to travel tomorrow. I think we should wrap all of this up. Don’t you Paulina?,” Alison said to her friend.

“Paulina wants me to stay. She wants to see if you can be hypnotized. Paulina, tell her that.” Joe interrupted, without breaking his gaze on Alison.

“I want him to stay. You should try to be hypnotized Al” Paulina said, similarly not breaking her gaze on Joe.

“See? We are all friends here Alison. I’d like to be your friend. Here,” Joe said, extending his hand. “Let’s shake on it.”

Warily, Alison took his hand and he shook it, up and down, slower than a casual handshake, rhythmic, like an undulating wave through her whole arm. She clearly wasn’t sure if she should pull it away or not.

“Just follow my lead and relax,” Joe said. “Focus on the swaying sensation. Pretend it’s a soothing wave. Like laying back in a waterbed. Feeling the sensation all around you, and letting it move your body. Very good.

“As I raise and lower your arm, I want you just to focus your eyes on me. If you don’t know where to look, that’s okay. Most people look at my eyes. They say they’re sky-blue. Or like sapphires. Focus on the blue in my eyes.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Joe said, his voice deepening into a soothing tone. “All you have to do is relax and focus on my eyes. On the sensation of drifting with the waves. You may notice by now that as you continue to look into my eyes, there is a heavy, drowsy feeling occurring in your eyes. Like staying up all night and trying to keep them open the next day. So difficult to do.

“In fact, each time I raise your arm upward, like this,” Joe said, as he raised her arm, before lowering it. “That heaviness in your eyes will become stronger. That’s fine. That means you’re doing it right and everything’s okay.”

I watched my phone as Alison’s eyes hooded, closing more with each time her arm rose.This can’t really be working, I thought as I watched the video from a couple hours ago.

“As your eyes begin to close,” Joe continued. “You feel the desire to let them close get stronger. It’s perfectly safe. Like slipping into a warm bed after a long, hard day’s work. All your body wants to do is relax and drift. Your eyes are closing all the way now. You want this relaxation. You feel it, warm and heavy, floating through your body. Feel it happening, Alison.”

Joe pulled on my wife’s hand, making her fall into him, head pressed against his shoulder. I couldn’t believe she was that… close… to a stranger.

Then Joe whispered into her ear, as I turned up the volume on my phone to max, desperate to hear what he was telling her. I couldn’t get anything though. Then, he put his hands on her shoulders and placed her in a standing position, like a limp doll. She stood straight, her hands at her sides, head down, and eyes closed.

“My friends,” Joe announced to the guys in the room, and to a degree, Paulina. “Our new friend Alison is now in a deep hypnotic trance.”

I was absolutely scared shitless. I had no fucking clue what I should do.

On the video, Joe stood close to Alison, whispering deep into her ear, and his hands wrapping her lower waist. “Alison,” he said, the microphone picking him up again, “You are deeply hypnotized right now. It feels absolutely wonderful. You’ve never felt better in your life. So relaxed, so happy. You’re in a safe place and trust me completely. In fact, you can only hear my voice.

“And because you trust me completely, you know it’s safe to believe everything that I tell you. You follow all of my instructions without question. You are completely under my hypnotic control, and you are no longer in control. Do you understand? If so, repeat it back to me now.”

“I am no longer in control,” my wife said to this stranger.

“Very good,” Joe said. “And it feels amazing. Better than anything you can remember. You love this feeling more than anything, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Alison said enthusiastically.

I saw Joe the asshole glance over at his buddies with a mischievous look. That video ended there. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I frantically went to the next text in the chain. This time I could tell it was Alison texting and not Paulina. She told me how she tried smoking ‘Hypno Weed’ and she loved it. There was also a quick clip of her holding a regular Aquafina water bottle that she must have been told was some kind of bong. Fuck. That was the last text, and this sure as hell wasn’t heading to a good place.

Now frantic, I tried calling several times before I received a text saying that was clearly from Joe. He callously told me how beautiful my wife was and what a lucky guy I am. He then asked if I had watched all of the linked videos.

Shit! What did this fucker do?

I quickly went into my email and clicked the first link; Alison was lying on her back naked and the phone was zoomed in on her, she had a huge smile on her face as she was getting fingered and moaning really loud. Alison then asked Joe to “put your cock back in my mouth please.” I couldn’t fucking believe it.

He quickly spun up next to her and started feeling her tits with one hand while videoing her naked body, my wife then reached out to his cock and started to jerk him off saying “I love your cock Master Chicago HypnoJoe”…

30 seconds went by before she took his cock in her mouth. He started to moan as she blew him, this lasted about two minutes before she pulled his dick out and licked it bottom to top. While he was fingering her pussy, I heard him say “who do you belong to?”

"I belong to you, Master Chicago HypnoJoe" she moaned loudly. My heart broke.

Alison played with his dick for about a full minute while he touched her all over and she moaned, grunted and started begging “Fuck me, fuck me please!” In all our years together, she had never, ever been that needy for sex. It was almost unfathomable to me. Seeing her so… wanton… affected me, I’m ashamed to say.

I realized I had started playing with my own incredibly rock hard dick, but to state I was pissed and shocked is an understatement. I could not believe what I was seeing after 12 years together, was this the mother of my children? The girl I loved dearly, so deeply under this creep’s hypnotic control? The video went black.

As sweat dripped down my brow, I clicked to the next video and Alison was on all fours as he was giving it to her from behind, her ass cheeks were spread wide open and sticking up in the air. I heard her begging for it harder, telling him to go deeper and faster. He was grunting that he was about to cum.

Alison started moaning back at him that she wanted to taste him. Out of breath, he told her to get on her knees. She quickly rolled off his cock and spun to the side of the bed, he dropped the phone and I heard moans as the video ended.

The next video again had my precious wife on her knees as Joe was sitting on the bed. I heard female moans from the person holding the iphone, and I realized it must have been Paulina. Alison was blowing Joe while he held the back of her head, she was sucking, licking, moaning and begging for more of his “hypno cock”.

I heard her mutter “I wanna taste your cum again”. He was shifting side to the side as she was clearly taking him deep, using her tongue like a pro and working towards a climax. That’s when I realized this must have been a fair amount of time after the previous video. Enough for fucking Joe to be able to get hard again.

I'm lucky to get one blow job a year, but here she was begging for him to cum in her mouth for a second time in one night! Soon I watched as she appeared to swallow his cum and he fell back, in orgasmic bliss as she worshipfully cleaned his cock.

When that video ended, I realized I had to hope and pray that this doesn't end up on some amateur porn website. But from the looks of his Chicago HypnoJoe site, things did not bode well. We are well known in our suburban community here. It could be really bad if this got out.

The fourth video was aimed at the two of them as Alison bounced up and down on top of him, they were embraced in a chair kissing passionately as she rode him. They went hard and fast for a few minutes before she started to orgasm, she let out some of the loudest cries of pleasure I have ever heard.

I texted back some swears to Joe, telling him I was going to the police. He texted back, and I could just tell he was laughing at me. He was rather confident that I would not go to the police.

He then texted me a picture of Alison using the Aquafina water bottle as a bong again. A text followed that she ‘looooves’ hitting the hypno weed.

I responded with more swears. They didn’t seem to rattle him. He just told me that she wouldn’t miss her plane, but for me to expect responses to be very limited until she arrives back in Houston. He was right, as that was the last text I got from her all day.

I was freaking out all day. I dealt with the kids, etc, but I was losing my shit internally. We were waiting at Hobby International airport at 8:30 as planned. That’s when I finally got another text.

She just said that she had landed, and she couldn’t wait to see us. Then she gave information about what departure door she’d be at so we could pick her up. She got in the car, so happy to see the kids. She gave me a warm kiss and thanked me for taking care of everything over the weekend. It all seemed so… regular.

She was talking to the kids the whole ride home. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I began to wonder if she even knew what happened. Could the hypnotist have made her forget? Not impossible.

We put the kids to bed as soon as we got in, as it was pretty late for them. She then said she wanted to hop in the shower real quick. I always do that when I get off a plane, so that made perfect sense to me. I sat on the bed while she was in there. Images of what I saw her doing flashed through my mind. I hated them so much, but they were hot. Her begging to be fucked, etc. I couldn’t help but get lost in those thoughts, and hard.

I didn’t even hear her get out of the shower. When she did, she saw my hand on my dick.

“Were you looking at porn while I was gone?” she half joked and half admonished. I jumped when she said that, as she startled me.

“I-I, well, I” I stumbled. In some ways, I had been watching porn. By this point though, I was convinced she knew nothing of it. I just admitted to watching some ‘conventional’ porn.

“Mmmmm. Well, I’m not mad. You did a great job with the kids while I was gone. You deserve a little dalliance…” she said as she squirted some moisturizer on her hand. She then came next to me, freed my dick from my pants and started giving me a handjob.

“Why don’t you tell me about what you were watching?” she said, likely assuming it was girl on girl or something. I didn’t speak. Her hand on my dick felt really good. Of course, it wasn’t lost on my that I was getting a hand job, and she was begging for Chicago HypnoJoe’s dick 24 hours earlier.

“Did you ever imagine me doing some of the things that you were watching?” She said sexily. Again, she was completely oblivious to the truth. However, that question did me in, and I came hard. My cum shot straight up in the air. She gave a little yelp and dodged it like it was lava.

With that, I fell asleep, hard. I had been on such an emotional roller coaster over the last 18 hours. So, I’m ashamed to admit, this, but I didn’t do anything about this situation for the next three days. This is partly because they were three very busy days. We were hosting Thanksgiving, and Alison had lost the weekend to visiting Paulina. So, as the hostesss, she was behind the eight ball all week. I helped where I could, but that was largely just getting pizza for dinner. The other reason I avoided it was because I had no fucking clue what to do. I had no idea if she had any idea about this. If she did – how do I handle that? If she didn’t – would it cause some sort of trauma? I was at a loss.

Soon enough, it was Thanksgiving. My brother and his wife were over, as were her parents and her brother’s family. As always, Alison pulled it off and everything was perfect. She is an incredible wife, mother, and hostess. She did amazing job.

I had just finished carving the turkey, and we were just a few minutes into eating when the doorbell rang. As all of our scheduled guests had arrived, I had no idea who it could be. I got up to answer the door, and there was a small, private courier van in the drive way. This was not UPS or FedEx, this was a specially hired courier. I opened the door, a guy gave me a beautifully wrapped, very big square box with a tag that said, from Paulina with love. FUCK. I signed for the package to get the guy out of here, but I knew I had to get rid of this box. I figured if I could dash up to the attic, I could hide it there until Alison went to sleep. I turned to make my play… and she was right behind me.

“What’s that?” She said, taking the box out of my hand. I had no idea how she was going to react. She looked at the tag, she gave me a quizzical look. I could tell she had no idea what it was as she brought it to the kitchen counter, which was still cluttered with supplies from our Thanksgiving feast, which was now getting cold in the other room.

She quikly unwrapped the bow on the box and opened the lid. Inside, there was a big, stuffed animal turkey, and what could only be described as a ‘sexy pilgrim costume’.

“What the fuck is that?” I yell whispered. I didn’t want to attract attention from our guests, but still… what the fuck was that?

Alison held it up. There was a bonnet, and a dark brown velvet corset with a big, white cotton collar. There were brown knee high velvet boots in there too. There was a note from Paulina inside, “for some sexy fun later xoxxo”

Alison laughed. “She’s crazy – you know that” she said to me with a smile. “Maybe she thinks you have a Pilgrim fetish?” she laughed.

“Alison darling, can you be a dear…” my Mother in law called out from the dining room. It was like the woman had a sixth sense of when to best interrupt. Alison gave me a wink and went back into the dinning room. I followed, but only after putting the costume back in the box and tying the lid back on. We didn’t need her father or someone seeing that, thank you very much. We finished dinner, which was fantastic. I had a couple beers, and was soon watching the Lions with the guys. I actually forgot about the weirdo stuff going on for a while.

Early in the fourth quarter, I went to go grab another round of beers. The ladies were still in the dining room, well, all the ladies except Alison. I looked in the kitchen, and she wasn’t in there either. I glanced over to the bathroom, and the door was open, no one was in there. That was odd. I asked where she was.

“I don’t know. She got a phone call on her cellular telephone, then she just up and walked away. Rather rude. Not how I raised her.” Her mother said.

Fuck.

I doubled back into the kitchen, the box was gone. I started to panic, I ran into the bedroom. Inside, Alison was kneeling on the edge of the bed wearing the sexy pilgrim costume, with the big stuffed animal turkey between her legs. Across from her, on our bureau was her phone, she was recording herself.

“I am deeply hypnotized by Chicago HypnoJoe” she said, over and over again as she rhythmically grinded on the stuffed turkey. Her breathing got more ragged as she got more and more turned on. My own breathing was very labored as well, as I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I couldn’t believe it. I was also getting hard.

“Alison, you are ignoring your guests, this is very rude!” I heard her mother yell. In what was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life, I closed the door and went back down to distract her mom.

Alison came out about 25 minutes later, and she was just chatting with the ladies as if nothing had happened.

When everyone left that night, I looked up Chicago HypnoJoe’s website. Sure enough, new offering on his pay side. There was a promo video of Hypnotized Thanksgiving MILFs. I saw a quick teaser clip of Alison in the Pilgrim Costume grinding on the turkey on our bed. Next to her on a split screen was Paulina in a sexy (albeit culturally inappropriate) Native American costume doing the same thing, also saying “I am deeply hypnotized by Chicago HypnoJoe” while grinding on a stuffed turkey.

Oh Shit. (But yes, I put in my credit card)

[inncubus-honey]

watch the crows

a/n: this based on that one post where it tells that the number of crows can indicate something. so, I'm trying my hand at writing soap, so let me know how it feels. also it may not make sense in places, i wrote this in one night with a bit of editing.

soap x gn!reader Word Count: 1.9k

“remember y/n, watch the crows when you hear them calling. they are natures fortune tellers…people always say owls are the wise ones, but crows have always secretly been protecting people for millions of years..” your grandpa nudged your shoulder as the cold air nipped at your exposed nose. nodding his head in the direction of the birds, you saw seven crows sitting on the telephone lines. not directly together, but altogether, there were eleven when counted. looking at your grandpa, a puff of smoke left his mouth from the cigar in his hand.

the soft clank of his mug on the glass table sounded along with shuffling of winter clothes from him and you. burning your cheeks further into the raised collar of your puffer coat, glancing over at him, you saw as he watched the crows, unmoving when you turned to him.

“what do eleven crows mean, grandpa?” your voice softly carried out across the snowy plains as a deep chuckle left him. confused, you raised an eyebrow as you waited for his answer as burnt tobacco met your nose as the wind pushed the smoke towards you.

“uncertainty, little one. the most uncertain events will transpire soon.” a deep sigh left him as you turned back to the crows in time for the birds to take off from the telephone line. walking over to your grandpa, you took a seat next to him which led to him bringing you into his side to keep from the cold.

“is that why you have that crow tattoo, grandpa?” you whispered to him, almost scared of spooking away the crows if you spoke in your normal volume. your grandpa had shown younger photos of himself which allowed you to see that he had three crows in three stages of flight on his back. a hearty laugh left him as he rubbed your shoulder and a tight squeeze of a hug.

“aye, y/n. the day i asked your grandmother to marry me, i spotted three crows that morning on the way to pick the ring i had made for her…” he smiled down at you, life bright in his eyes with crows feet hugging the corners.

two nights from the day with your grandpa, you would get the news that he had been rushed to the hospital when he had a heart attack. your whole family would live on edge for a month as your grandpas health went up and down; he would pass away, peacefully in the middle of the night in november.

its a conscious habit now to watch phone lines, trees, buildings for any signs of birds when out on the field..this earned you your call sign, ‘Condor’, when you first joined the army. others saw how you watched birds and the name stuck, joking that you always had your head stuck in clouds or waiting for something to fall from the sky. 

but from watching the crows has allowed you to predict the outcome of some missions. when kate brought you to the 141, your bird watching habit grew ten times stronger; all missions could end in everyone dying or something like that. but when you spot your birds, you know what needs to happen. this caught the eye of a certain scotsman; soap would see how you always looked at something, but couldnt tell why or what. 

always writing in a journal that you kept in the front of your vest, getting it out your vest when you have a moment of quiet on the field or on the heli back to base. he knows the comfort writing a journal could bring during service, he does it himself when gets back to his room. it helped him keep his head on his shoulders, soap always wanted to ask what you would write about. but he knew it would be very invasive to ask and make writing in a journal be very hard.

when you first met soap, you always watched how he interacted with others. it was different from how you kept to yourself; like a crow watching a bevy of larks, either waiting to strike or just…longing to have a group like that.

whenever having a chance to eat in the mess hall with the group, you found yourself listening and drawn to soap at a moments notice. baby blue eyes beamed with excitement, joy or humor when he was sharing a story or how expressive he was while doing it.

you soon realized your heart fluttered while your stomach did flips at the thought of seeing soap next in the mess hall. it felt nice to have something to look forward to after so long.

 —

taking a few moments to rest after a long night of walking, you guys took a break and started a little fire to warm up a bit. having to do a mission set in germany in winter was not a great feeling, your feet started to feel numb in your toes and your joints ached at the slightest bend. breathing caused your lungs to burn at every exhale as your nose got a deeper red hue the more time you spent outside. ghost took first watch over the four of you and sat back to the fire to watch the forest line with his rifle sitting on his lap. 

gaz took to sleeping by the log, near ghost as soap was across from gaz and watched the forest with ghost. but when he looked at you as you were further away from the others. your notebook resting upon your stomach, your hands printing whatever came to your mind, he could see some doodles and writing. but he couldnt read anything you wrote down. soap wished he saw what thoughts went through your head in the notebook of yours.

you counted five crows on the phone line. positive transaction. making note of it in your notebook, you had a habit of noting how many crows you see every mission or whenever you're out. it was like your grandfather was still with you whenever you wrote your findings; just the knowledge of the crow watching and the crows that day were the only words meant for you and your grandfather.

—

waking up the next morning, your lungs burned and ached from the frosty air throughout the night. the men were eating mri packs quickly before ghost handed you a pack which caused you eat everything given inside. doesnt matter if its good or not, you need the energy for anything that could happen; sitting upon a dead log next to gaz, you looked around at the powerlines incase they changed in the morning. 

no crows were to be seen which is a good sign as it means nothing is coming for awhile and that last nights watching was a good omen. packing everything into the bag on your back, you ready your gun of choice. everyone made their way down the trail to the compound that is said to hold makarov and all his plans. everyone keeping their eyes on the foliage around them.

“eyes up, everyone. we dont know what lies ahead; look for anything suspicious.” ghost voice broke the eerie silence of nature and footsteps crunching upon the ground. everyones nerves were on high alert as you got closer and closer to the compound. anything and everything could happen in a matter of moments and none of you would be the wiser. 

but thankfully, yall had a smooth entry into makarovs compound. taking guards out silently, moving the shadows like you were taught to do. ghost taking charge when it came to checking corners and giving orders, leading you around to find the control room where the files yall needed would be found. you found your eyes watching soap as he moved before you like you always have with him.

soap moved with such stature like a lion; holding the gun in a tight grip as everyone moved throughout the compound. you found you couldnt tear your eyes away from the way he carried himself, but also it almost cost you both everything.

as kyle and ghost went to the left of the corridor while soap and you moved forward, your eyes both watched him and passed him to look out for threats. when given the cue to round the corner, soap moved first with his gun readied in front of his face. Everything felt like it moved in slow motion as someone else rounded the corner as well, their gun drawn high and ready at soaps head. in a split second, you pulled soap down to the ground, but not before a bullet nicked him in the temple.

moving quickly, you made quick work of the person causing them to fall to the ground with a thud. soap groaned in pain made you focus on the man you’ve secretly cherished for years, blood pooling for gash upon his temple, you grabbed a gaze from your vest and packed it into the wound.

“we heard shots, what happened-” kyle found himself cut off upon seeing you hold gaze to soaps head wound. looking over at ghost, he was already on call for an evac heil for you and soap as he and kyle would finish up in the compound. 

kyle crouched down next to you as silent tears trickled down your cheeks, applying pressure to soaps wound. 

“hey…soaps gonna be okay.” kyle whispered to you as he gently held onto to soaps neck to keep his spine stable. once price heard that someone had a head injury, he had the pilot speed over to the compound.

ghost kept watch over the halls as you and kyle kept your eyes and hands on soap; your body shook as you tried to keep your hands from shaking with distraught. blood dyed his hair crimson, along with dripping down his features coating them in red slick.

maybe you missed a sighting of crows that morning, maybe you didn't look at the trees along the road to the compound and now soap is injured and its your fault.

the thought of your last night with your grandpa before ending up in hospital flashed through your mind as the same out of control feeling creeped into your bones. some stray tears dripped down onto your hands as you looked over his still face.

thankfully, the doctor said it was a simple gash, but because it was such thin skin thats why he bled a lot. soap was laying, unconscious with wires and tubes all over him. you had sat in the uncomfortable, leather hospital chair all night and waited for soap to do and say anything.

you found yourself holding onto his warm hand, gently rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. comforting him in touch as he tried to pull himself out of his unconscious state; the 141 was too quiet without him.

“you better wakeup soon, johnny…i hate you not being here..” you found yourself whispering to the still air of the hospital room. the others had gone back to the barracks for the night, but your heart kept you in the chair.

“lass…im not going anywhere, sweething…” a groan sounded from soap as he shifted to face you. a tired, smirk graced his lips as you sniffled with relief upon seeing him wake up. you removed the tears from your eyes, you got up and moved to sit next to him on the hospital bed.

soap pulled you in closed to his body as he rested his head upon yours, wrapping your hand in his. you both just cuddled into one another with content silence, drifting off into finally some comfortable sleep with the beeping of machines echoing throughout the room.

the last thought that came across your mind was…yeah, yall would be alright.

[ca-suffit]

Will never forget how when TCA photo shoots dropped and ppl were rightfully wanting to see more Jacob/Assad pairings for the promos, Virginia was getting asks saying that they were glad loumand shippers and those who wanted to see more jassad were “getting humbled” because they were getting “too cocky”, she was very much agreeing and adding on to these asks. It’s just really funny to me how she is always like “you should read the books and listen to the cast and crew, because then you’d know loumand is not the main couple this season!!” followed w that Sam gif she always hilariously misuses when like… the book and the show literally say the opposite… Reading the s2 reviews obviously confirms this lol but it reminded me of that moment and I had to laugh. So crazy, imagine seeing ppl excited for non-white queer rep and being glad they didn’t get what they wanted (and supposedly were never going to get it)… wanting to “humble” them… and saying you’re not racist…

I remembered this and here's the actual post :)

I also found some interesting things I never knew about while looking for this post so let's share those too :) :)

This was happening when I first made this account, so I remember it rly well. I was replying directly to all these ppl as long as I could. They're always saying stuff happens on anon bts so I was making it clear from the start that they could "finally" respond in public. Isn't that what they wanted? lol ig not.

Here's the only direct contact I had with virginia.

I *just* saw she replied to it, but take a wild guess why I wasn't notified of it. cuz u know I'd have responded if I had been. These ppl only get loud when they know there's no real "threat" of an interaction.

do u see how she didn't speak back to the things I was talking about in the post tho? she had to deflect again to "u hate lestat," "read the books," "ur speaking over jacob, A BLACK MAN" (their favorite shit to say like it's such a slam dunk?)

She also posted this

she was on a mission then to "prove" the bullying was real because this is the time when nalyra got caught doing all of this and they needed a distraction from that. she reblogged that showmey0urfangs PSA from the previous november too and aimed the fandom at black fans again, saying this was all part of an ongoing bts bullying issue. if it is then why tf can't u all ever have better receipts? why are these PSAs literally untagged shit from ppl's personal accounts or in direct reblogs to u and yet ur claiming it's all happening on anon. which one is it and why aren't u posting those things then? jfc they think we're all stupid.......

what I think is crazy too is the PSA caps reminded me of the timeline of stuff more. there used to be louder white ppl in the fandom about racism (and I remember this even more because showmey0urfangs got so mad about that in this post, trying to defend white fandom by screaming "I'M BLACK AND U HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME" at white ppl who pointed out she was doing racist shit) and it's funny how nalyra and virginia and them didn't start to be more openly racist like this until *after* those ppl weren't here anymore? crazy how u suddenly grew extra racist courage when u felt u wouldn't have as much pushback now. I don't remember them ever going after any users who they *knew* were white and saying this stuff either. if they feel any hint like ur prbly not white *and* not a book reader then look how the big voice comes out. but this isn't motivated by racism right lol?

look at this too

she answered so many asks back then to get sympathy and frame herself as a victim (to again distract from the nalyra shit), which is classic white woman / fandom manipulation.

idek how u write something like this tho and believe it makes sense? ppl speaking up about fandom racism is *always* going to be about fandom racism. u go in any fandom and it's there. it's never a cover up for something else. that's what white fandom *wants* u to think because they want to get as much support as possible. they know if they soothe white feelings about race and say "this isn't a real issue, it's about shipping / it's because I'm being unfairly targeted / it's because they're jealous" then most ppl *will* choose to believe that and defend them because it's the better feeling choice for them. talking about racism sucks. being on the side of loudly talking about racism sucks. you don't get to exist in fandom and "just have fun" when you do this. that's why most ppl stop doing it and either become white fandom themselves or leave public spaces for it.

look at this recent thing too

this is a manipulation attempt. she's aware of fans being upset at amc catering to white ppl for this and this is her way to cover up more for white fandom and say "I'm not an ANGRY BITCH about it (unlike some ppl), come support me, I'm better and nicer and treat ppl fairly."

anyway, fuck this racist bitch and her weird fucking ego over gatekeeping garbage ass anne rice books.

[blah-blah-bea]

I first saw them with Ice Nine Kills on Nov. 2021 at that time only really knew one song from them but also had seen the TDOPOM music video)

Then I saw them on March 2022 with Underoath.

On August 2022,(this was for the tour to promote Tour of the Concrete Jungle) they came to a venue near me and hung out after the show with other fans and the band came out. At the time I had only really know what the singer looked like so without knowing the rest of the crew had came out a million times to load the trailer 😂

When Noah came out I was able to say Hi and take a photo with him. Even though he was holding all his shit he was kind enough to take photos with some fans.

I then went and saw them on November 2022 in Milwaukee and again a day later in Chicago for their Tour of the Concrete Jungle. I was able to get VIP for both shows. The first VIP I asked them if they think they could out do themselves for any other tour (which, they fucking did somehow). I don't remember his answer exactly cause it kinda wasn't related to the question 😅

That show I was able to give Noah a crown during their song "Concrete Jungle" 👑

Noah taking the crown (video from my POV)

Noah taking the crown (Video from fan POV)

The next VIP in Chicago I asked if they still had the crown and Noah said that he did and it was on the bus (He also could have just said that cause he didn’t wanna upset a fan, so who actually knows 🤷🏻‍♀️) and I was able to print off the photograph of him taking the crown so I asked them if they would sign it later (which they did) I also gave them a gag gift just to make them laugh of the edited photo of Noah as Jesus and I put it on a candle and when they saw it they laughed and Noah said something along the lines of “It’s me as Jesus” *shows the crowd* “As if my ego wasn’t already big”. I also gave them photos that a friend drew for them and they said they liked them. Seems like a lot but it went by fast. At least in my head it did.

After that show Noah and Bryan came out and talked with people and signed stuff. One of my friends was able to give a sticker to Noah that she bought for him and she was able to show him her Bad Omens Tattoo. I got a photo with him again but I look like trash so I’ve never posted it.

Then I saw them again for Concrete Forever.

So yes, I’ve seen them a good amount of times. Nothing crazy.

Was he shy? I’d say kinda. I think when interacting with fans you have to step out of that, even if you are shy in general. Just like when he’s on stage, he has to step out of it to preform the way he does.

He was kind and sweet in person. He tried his best to talk with everyone who wanted to talk. He took pictures and signed peoples stuff. We made fun of him for wearing shorts and sandals when it was cold as shit in Chicago. He joked back. It was a good time. 😊

[cloudlesbian]

I posted 3,750 times in 2022

52 posts created (1%)

3,698 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@creepingsenseofdread

@cfo-of-antifa

@jetf0rcegemini

@stinkmole

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I tagged 2,025 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#star trek - 394 posts

#art - 378 posts

#q - 340 posts

#video - 262 posts

#gif - 182 posts

#tos - 131 posts

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#painting - 91 posts

#photography - 84 posts

#laugh rule - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#and was like 'yea their bathroom was nasty' and this person was like 'what gender r they?' and i was like nonbinary then they were like

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Watching the gay deceivers rn, pls do urself a favor and watch it, here's an article discussing it and my favorite clip

5 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

AGH this girl I'm talking to is so cute and sweet🥰🥰🥰she keeps saying how much she loves talking to me and our first date lasted like 5 hrs lol

5 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

My guiding star at night

9 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#2

Today's my birthday and I just turned 22! Hope everyone is having a blessed day

9 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I've cut my hair for the first time in 6 months. I used to cut it every month, or every other. I used to have it always cropped and buzzed, never more than an inch or two. Shaved sides or undercuts always present.

One night I had a dream where I looked in the mirror and saw myself with long strands of hair lying from my neck. I looked masculine and beautiful. But I was guarded towards my reflection, unbelieving and untrusting when I woke. I laughed about it later, but wondered if that could be me.

I changed my hair in many ways. Always shaped and sheared by my own hands. That sculpted the image of myself as one shapes clay, of the earth from which we came.

I look from a distance at myself and see my many forms and multiplicity. I look at photos of those who came before me, and treaded the same steps of nonconformity, and see myself in the other.

My hair now reaches the middle of my back, a wave that flows beyond my body. Something I care for with tenderness, and give the attention to maintain. An extension of me and what is my version of androgyny.

I've always cut my hair. I cut my friends' hair. I'm the local queer barber they say, knowledgeable in my trade.

I haven't cut my hair in a long time, and then I did. I missed my hair immediately. And was surprised by it, for I had resented its existence as anything feminine for so long. And had now grown to love its multitudes without realizing, as if it were a stray dog.

I combed my fingers through my hair in the shower as the water poured over me, and felt a renewal. A new breath in, and out. I accepted what it had given me, what it has for me now, and what it will have later.

Through the labor of my hands and mirrors, the reflections on myself. Time and time again, I create myself anew.

17 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[declanfs]

Wow, were to begin. Today is November 14, 2024 and once again it’s been months since I posted last.

Here are just some photos of our latest adventures. You got this horn at a yard sale for 5 cents and it is a treasure forever. Before you would just yell into it to amplify your voice, but pa taught you how to play it sort of like a trumpet, which I like much better. You are a boy of many talents.

You’re also SO funny and so so so sweet. Every night before you fall asleep, we can tell how tired you are based on how many times you say “i’m going to keep you” or “i’m going to keep you forever, no matter what.” Some variation of that sentiment. If you’re very tired, it can be over 15 times! You also talk about how much you love your/our house and you want to stay in it forever. So naturally dada and I say that you can stay as long as you want. Earlier this month you said you wanted to be a firefighter when you grew up so you could help people, but when I asked you last night you got a little emotional saying how you didn’t want to be a firefighter or a helper or be anything because you just wanted to stay at this house with us forever. For the past two nights we have practiced sleeping all three of us + kreacher in the big bed before the baby arrives and I think you and kreacher both love it so much. People question and judge and can’t believe that I genuinely enjoy having a baby/toddler in our bed and that this is a conscious choice we are making, but these moments with you are so special and I wouldn’t change or trade them for anything. Especially because you say now that you want to keep me forever and that you want to stay with me and dada in this house forever, but just in case you change your mind someday, I’m going to cherish all these moments while I have them. I imagine at some point you will want more privacy and not be so forthcoming with what’s on your mind and in your heart, but I hope you will always feel like you can tell us anything. And if you have things you want to keep to yourself, I respect that too, but please don’t do it to save us from things you think are too big or too scary or that you might get in trouble for. We love you no matter what and are always on your team. There’s nothing too big or too small that can’t workshop together. And I promise that if you ever just want to tell me something, I can reflect it back to you and just listen without offering any unsolicited advice.

Anyway, you’re also such a funny and fun kid to spend time with. You see the world in such a wonderful way and I love your commentary and insights. This is where I need to start keeping track in my phone of all the funny things you say so I can just copy/paste in here, but this morning for example:

We were driving to preschool and you’re always looking out the window. Sometimes you share what you’re thinking or cool things you see, but sometimes you just look out and are lost in thought. Today, you saw men in a bucket truck trimming branches away from power lines. You asked what they were doing and why. I answered with what It honk is right, and then you said “did uncle jimmy fix the darkness at JTs house?”

(Background: They lost power last week after a storm and Ryan and JT spent the night. While there, JT left a little toy football that had a few bites missing from one of the ends. You thought butter did it, but I said it was probably JT because he’s always chewing on things. You asked why, and honestly, I don’t know.)

So I said yes, the darkness is fixed and you said, all indignantly, “But why does JT chew on everything all the time?!”

I clarified with you, and your brain connected all the dots of information and you were thinking JT chewed on the power lines and THATS why they lost power. You make me laugh out loud, and you love to make us laugh. Sometimes you tell silly jokes where the punchlines make no sense (Why did Giganto poop on the tree? Because he’s a saurus!), and sometimes you make silly faces and dance around, but you’re also very punny for being just three. Like if there are cups falling down, you’ll say “we have a cup-suation!” And you just can combine words and I can just tell your brain is like a highly oiled machine tacking in all the things around you and pumping out thoughts purely original to you. Another time dada had some cuts and scrapes on his arms or legs from making the climbing gym and you were asking about them, and you said “dada, you’re boo boo rich!” Because dada always says we’re rich in something if we have a lot of it, good or bad.

I need to get in here more often and make this a habit before baby2 arrives. I want to believe i will remember all these funny and sweet things you say, but the reality is that you say so many new funny and sweet things that my brain has to bump out the older things to make room for the new things! I think you will make an amazing big brother with your thoughtfulness and sweetness and funniness, and the baby is going to love learning and growing with you. I also give you permission to make mistakes and not be a perfect big brother, because having a baby is really hard and you are just 3. And even when you are older, you still don’t have to be perfect because none of us are. But I hope you will repair and check in and communicate with me and dad or your younger sibling to figure things out and fix them when you do or say something that could have been done or said in maybe a kinder way. Built in besties for life, my love. That’s what I hope for for you both, and best friends fight every now and then or go through periods of tough times, but no problem is too big to figure out.

We’re still trying to get our outside goal of 1,000 house this year. IF we can average 3.5 hours each day through December 31, we will make it. So we got you a headlamp and dada filled the propane tanks to combat the time change and temperature change. This morning before preschool I tried to warn you that it was cold and you might want shoes or a jacket (it was 38), but you went out anyway. Maybe 10 minutes later you yelled “can you bring my jacket? It’s a little chilly out here” and when I went out you said you also wanted shoes because your feetsies were cold - which is HUGE. You always want to be barefoot. You were out for 45 minutes and when you came in, you had added hats and a glove too and I’m just so relieved that if you are actually cold you will tell me and wear the things to keep you warm. Everyone gives me the side eye when you’re running around barefoot in short sleeves while other kids are wearing winter coats and hats and boots, but you’re just learning to listen to your body and I love that for you, my little questioner rebel <3

You did this Dino egg excavation with granny and found 10 glow in the dark mini Dino’s. YOU LOVED THIS. eventually we used the big hammer because the little “chisel Plow” doesn’t cut it, and it took probably 30 minutes.

[harrison-abbott]

Teeny

We all picked on Teeny. He worked in the warehouse for about a year, with us, and he never got relent: all of us ripped him to shreds, whenever he could. Teeny was his nickname because he was small. He tried to laugh off the ribbing at first and then he tried to stand up for himself but neither of those tactics worked and then he tried to show that it upset him and the lads laid off for maybe three days and then they reconvened again.

Teeny worked 50 hours a week. He was never late. Never sick. In over a year. You never saw him eating, or drinking tea or coffee. He’d sit in the canteen and read the newspaper – whilst the others would throw peas or sweets at him. Chocolate raisons, midget gems. They tended to go for the small, hard objects that were easiest to throw. He snickered and politely asked them to stop … and they just kept doing it and wouldn’t let him concentrate on the articles.

His real name was Wes. I spoke to Wes a few times, when the lads weren’t watching. Got to know him a bit. He was different when it was one on one. He said that he was a photographer – that’s what his main passion was – and that he was working this joint to save up for a trip to Europe. Of which he would travel across the continent and take lots of photos. To then send them off to places. He hoped somebody would publish a book of them.

I thought this was pretty cool. And I wished I had that kind of plan in life. All I had done for the past four years was work in this warehouse and whenever I got home in the evening I would play videogames and drink beer and that was about it. So I kinda envied that he had future plans for his life. I didn’t seem to be doing anything important.

The year progressed into the winter. And of course the November and December periods were the worst, busiest, because of the lead up to Christmas. And the workers, the guys, got cranky and fucked off with each other. With the pace they had to keep up and the long hours. And most of them were friends: so they could spark at each other and then brush it off a few hours later and not be made anymore.

But what they all did was take it out on Teeny Wes Weeny. That was what the nickname morphed into in the latter stages, when those bloomin Christmas songs were playing on the stereo, driving everybody nuts. They all savaged Wes to no end. And he was a good worker. One of the best. He could move the material real fast and efficient and he just kept working away. … And in this mad energy, the last few weeks I was working with Wes, I would look across to him. I had stopped teasing him myself because I thought it was fucked up and that the guys had taken it too far. But when I saw him, I noticed he’d developed a mask. He wasn’t trying to smile it away; nor was he looking uncomfortable. All he did was work the boxes. Put the goods in; taped them up. Then he left at five o’clock and got the bus home.

Last time I saw Wes was on the 23rd. There was a staff Christmas party that night, that all the workers were invited to, in the local pub near the warehouse. All the guys wanted Wes to come. I did, as well. He didn’t attend.

Wes would go to Europe in January. He travelled to ten different countries across a year, living in each of them for weeks or months, in order to get a vibe for the nation. Taking photos. Then he sent his material off to a publisher. And they were impressed by his work and they agreed to publish it. I found this out about two years after he left. He posted the news on social media. And I was still here in the warehouse. It made me gulp, with shame, and embarrassment for what I was. But, it was fair. Fair enough. For Teeny Wes Weeny.

[killing-time-w-kaz]

I was on IG and my friend posted this photo of a cat. And something in me just cracked.

I have no idea who this cat is but it looks identical to my Nausicaa who died in august.

I forgot how hard grief can hit when you’ve been holding it back. It just plows through. Especially when all of it is held in the same corner of my heart.

And I carry a certain guilt around her death. I wasn’t able to be there when she was put to sleep, because I had gone back to school just days before and there was no way for me to make it back in time. I was on the phone when it all happened, it felt so disconnected. I refused to let my grief consume me, since I need to stay on top of my college work.

And when I was able to go back home for fall break, I couldn’t grieve for my cat because I was barely holding it together after October 7. I broke down in tears when one of my professors had asked if I was doing okay, because she noticed I wasn’t anywhere as energetic as I should be in an archaeology museum.

And I was in the middle of my senior seminar when my parents told me Nausicaa finally came home. It was a miracle I didn’t start crying in class after seeing her box of ashes sitting next to her favorite spot in the apartment (and yes, Ponyo did try to sit on her box). Which brings up more buried grief.

I grew up with two cats, Isabel (the mostly white cat w gray spots) and Phoenix (the mostly gray cat with the old man). They were my mom’s cats, but I was very attached to them and it broke my heart when Phoenix died 4 days before my 11th birthday.

I never had time to fully grieve her death because my grandfather died a month later. And I carry a guilt over his death because the last thing I ever said to him was “I will see you next weekend”. And he died 3 days later while I was performing in a school concert. I refused to go see him at the funeral home, the image of Phoenix dying in the vet table was too fresh in my mind. And so I never truly had the chance to say goodbye to him. I don’t know where his ashes are. All I know is that he and my grandmother will be buried together when she dies—I am scared of the day she does. And that September, my grandfather’s nephew also died, and I wasn’t able to make it to his funeral because I had to go on a school sleepover trip.

I got Ponyo and Nausicaa in November 2013, so they briefly overlapped with the ancient Isabel. She liked Nausicaa, as seen in the photo above. She was 19 when we had to put her to sleep in December 2013. And I covered the loss of all four family members with the two new kittens. Isobel’s ashes rest on the bookshelf next to the window, where Nausicaa now also rests.

I was organizing my parents’ old photos when I came across the photo of Phoenix and Grandpa—I felt a pang in my heart when I saw it. And shortly after I went through those photos, I left for Portugal to do field work. I left two healthy, 10 year old cats at home. And on the last day of the field session, while we were breaking down site, I missed a call from my mom:

When I got to town, I broke away from my teammates to take the call. And that’s when I found out that my sweet girl had suddenly gotten cancer, which was moving so fast and aggressively. At first I tried to hide from the remaining archaeologists, because I couldn’t let myself be seen breaking down in the middle of town. But that completely failed when I got to the lunch table. And my supervisors and teammates were understanding—I still laugh fondly at their attempts to comfort me (that’s a story for later).

But it was devastating thinking that my little cat was dying an ocean away. But she held on for the week—my parents came out to join me in Portugal, leaving her with a family friend who took very good care of her. And she held on for two more weeks once we got back. It was exactly 21 days from when I got the first phone call to the last video call. But in the end, I still wasn’t able to be with her in her last moments. I had a shift at my job that I couldn’t skip and I was visiting my grandma the next day. I gave myself the weekend to grieve, then I threw myself into my part time job, school work, and social life. And in short succession, a very old family friend had a stroke and died, another family friend died after a steep mental decline, and a friend/colleague of my parents (who I knew) lost his fight with cancer.

And I often feel like I have to be the strong one in my friendships. And when October 7 came, I found myself holding my friends as they broke down. And Jewish underclassmen know they could always come to me if they need a hug or a shoulder. My campus best friend and I have adopted an absurd number of underclassmen this way, some of them even refer to us as their “mothers”. But I never took time for myself. I work the most hours at the bookstore, partially so I don’t spend time just with my thoughts.

And seeing that photo on IG brought all these emotions back in a flood. I just needed to put them somewhere so they don’t continue to eat away at me. The more I tell these stories, the less they hurt. So thank you for listening

[st4rryskiesc0]

The October-November con chronicles

That last post had me thinking about all the convention moments running around in the little brain of mine, so im posting them all there. MY BLOG MY POSTS!!!

FanX

I met a mumbo jumbo and I remember my big ear wings was in their face in the photo and i felt so bad. At least they had a little pesky bird plush they let me hold!!!

I was exhausted and nervous and saw a quackity cosplayer and so I ran up to them and said "oh my god i love your cosplay it looks so good!!" and they had friends around them and i said "all your lcosplays look so good oh my god its just so good all of you" and i just kept rambling because i was just so tired and didnt know how to human and they looked so awkward and they gave me a little casino coin as a gift and i felt so bad so im sorry if you ever see this quackity cosplayer in the pit :sob:

I met a tango and we stood in the middle of the stands area and he came up and shook my hand and we just kept shaking hands while we talked it was so fun !

THERE WERE SO MANY DREAM SMP COSPLAYERS MY GOD!!! all of them were so good though

I met a skeppy and I was like "oh my god have you found a badboyhalo yet?" THEIR FRIEND WAS BAD SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE THEY WERE THERE!!! we laughed about it and moved on so it was okay :3

i met a double life impulse and Bdubs and i asked them "so ive noticed most people this year that are matching cosplay are partners, are you guys partners or just friends??" because i was trying to get a grasp on the FanX cosplayers economy and norms if that makes sense??? they were going as just friends they both had separate partners i was so embarassed sobbnig crying they understood though it wasnt a big deal

Anime Banzai

As soon as I got there I saw a wilbur soot cosplayer and went up to say hi and THERE WAS A CODFATHER JIMMY THERE!!! They recognized my Etho cosplay as *etho* and not kakashi and we just hung out the entire day it was amazing

When I first got there my spirit halloween kakashi mask was too tight because duh spirit halloween and you could see my entire mouth outline it was HORRIBLE i took back ups just in case but my only picture with codfather jimmy is with my too-tight kakashi mask and it kinda sucks ;w; it's alright though, we had so much fun it doesnt really matter

There was this little girl outside where there was a DJ type thing and she danced and the DJ danced with her and it was so cute. One of the singers from the Idol competition earlier came up and taught her how to do some dances and it was absolutely adorable, I loved it

This little kid also came up to me, codfather, and their friend cosplaying as toadette (? im not sure, i didnt ask what exactly they were all i knew was that it was amazing cosplay) with their little pochita stuffie they got and made gave us a bonk on the head with him and it was incredible and adorable

The idol competition was so cool but the announcer was ABWHEYGUTF it was... strange... between every performance they said "can i get an uwu?" it was horrible SOBBING CRYING it was still so fun though, he was very charming besides for that whole fiasco

during that same cosplay ocmpetition i didnt really know how to cheer???? i dont know, same thing as Fanx where I was exhausted and nervous and i just completely forgot how to person

this older guy came up to me and said "okay whats with the canada??" because for my etho cosplay I had a canada patch on my arm and I had to explain to him "im so sorry im not kakashi its a completely different character" and he walked away so confused and i felt so bad because he was an older lad and i felt like id just blown his mind and it was so awkward

thats it, fanx and anime banzai were so fun and im so glad I went :DD i met so many fun people and everyone was so nice !!

[bowtiesnmusicals]

Here is my recap of the A-List Guest List (The Substitute) episode of the podcast.

Today they are basically talking all things Gwyneth Paltrow.

Kevin said its the substitute day aka Gwyneth Paltrow’s Emmy award winning performance on her first episode Glee. They both said she looks so good.

Kevin said it was infuriating that when she showed up they were like she doesn’t really want to wear make -up. Jenna said they were like don’t really do her hair. She was like just straighten it from the half down and don’t touch the top and there she was looking younger then all of us. Kevin said it’s infuriating.

The episode aired on November 16, 2010.

The #1 song was What’s My Name? By Rihanna.

The #1 movie was Unstoppable staring Denzel Washington and Chris Pine.

Lea and Cory were on the cover of Teen Vogue. Jenna said they looked very angelic. Kevin said I mean beautiful like models. Jenna said the lighting.

Some of the cast when to the GQ Magazine Men of the Year event at the Chateau. Kevin said it looks like he had an accident with a hair straightener. Jenna said you looked like you stepped out of the emo 2000s. Kevin said it was bad. They were filming something at the mall where Kevin did Safety Dance and they had all of two seconds to get ready in their trailers. Jenna said that is when this whole thing started where if they had to go to an event they were so busy working they had hair and make-up come to set to get them ready and they would go straight from set. It was not the ideal. Kevin said it was no ideal and you saw what happened with my hair .This event is where Kevin met Dougie Booth. He said it was worth getting ready really quickly so he could befriend one Douglas Booth.

This episode was directed by Ryan Murphy. Jenn and Kevin both didn’t remember this but it makes sense because this episode is directed very well and its a very funny episode. Jenna said she couldn’t see anyone else directing Gwyneth in her first episode.

Special guest star is Gwyneth Paltrow herself as Holly Holiday.

There are a lot of teeny tiny costars in this episode. The child version of the Glee Club which was so cute. Kevin said he loved them. Jenna said that was the best. They both quoted the Mr. Schue you look a little green. Jenna said she remembers being back behind in village when they were doing this scene and everyone trying not to crack up laughing. All the parents of the little kids were there, of course obviously. Jenna said how cute were they. Kevin said they were all there watching obsessed. It was very surreal. Jenna said she has a photo of all of them with their minis that she can post later. They were all really cute and so good. Kevin said he doesn’t even want to look up how old they are now.

Jessalyn returns for this episode.

There aren’t that many songs in this episode. They listed the songs.

Gwyneth Paltrow won’t the Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series. Kevin said outstanding she was.

This episode Mr. Schue gets sick. There is something going around and it takes out the principal and the glee club director. Holly Holiday comes in to take over his Spanish class and at the work of Kurt, the Glee Club. She winds up winning everyone over. Sue is temporarily principal and gets crazy. She takes away the tots. Kevin said the whole episode made him hungry. Jenna said they looked really good.

Kevin said before they get into this they have to talk about Gwyneth for a hot second. He said he was so nervous and starstruck because this was the first time he had ever been around an Oscar winner. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to play it really cool. He said you know when you try to play it cool and you come off actually cold and like rude. He was very worried about that because he just wouldn’t speak. He said between takes he would be whistling to himself and not making eye contact. He said luckily Gwyneth is one of the coolest, doesn’t give a shit, chillest person you could ever meet. She was incredible. Jenna said she was so much fun. Jenna said her stature is so large. Kevin said that aura. Jenna said she comes up and you are like oh my god like I get it. She was so cool and so chill and hung out with them between takes. She didn’t walk away. Kevin said she was always with them hanging out. She brought her kids a lot. It was really a fun time and Jenna said she doesn’t think they ever expected that from Gwyneth. Gwyneth gave them all hand written thank you notes for being on the show. It was really sweet. Jenna said she remembers being like oh we are doing two musical numbers. Kevin said when he realized he was singing on a song with her he couldn’t wait for his family to see this. I have really come up. Jenna asked Kevin if he remembered when Gwyneth came on tour and did the O2 with them. They did Forget You. She said she had Apple with her. She rehearsed with them and said she wanted to go out and watch the show. Jenna thinks that Gwyneth got escorted by Telly to a seat. She was wearing a Glee sweatshirt with the hood up and no one knew. Kevin said no one knew because we were so entertaining no one was watching Gwyneth in the audience. Jenna said yeah sure. Jenna was like you are going to watch the show. You don’t want to stay back here and hang. Kevin said he feels like he performed most of that show for Apple and her friends. He said right before it started Apple nicknamed him Artiepants. They ere standing on the side of the stage and every time he would go over there he would yell out Artiepants and point to them and they would scream and dance around. Kevin said it was very surreal. You grow up hearing about someone and seeing them in movies and tabloids in things and were like oh now we are just hanging with Gwyneth in London or eating pizza off the hood of a car on the backlot as they are shooting with her and her kids. Jenna said this is wild. Kevin said they are still friends and she is great and wonderful. Jenna said we love her. Jenna said she is just in the Glee family now having married Brad. Kevin said see Glee was life changing for her too.

There is a flu going around and Sue makes sure Principal Figgins gets it. Zizes sneezes on Figgins. Jenna said this moment made her think of covid. She was like don’t sneeze on them. Kevin said no very scary. Figgins gets very sick and Sue becomes principal and her first order of business is she is going to destroy the glee club again. Will gets sick and this will be the other part of this episode. Will goes down as well.

Sue also tries to take down the football team. The both start laughing about the scene where Sue goes to Coach Bieste and disbanding the football team. Coach Bieste, for the first time we see her in a power position, says well who are your cheerleaders going to cheer for. Sue’s reaction was great. Jenna said this was one of her favorite scenes. Kevin said he loved this scene. Cut to her writing her book, humiliation. it’s so good.

So obviously then with Schue down bad with the monkey flu we need a new Glee club instructor. Rachel tries it for a hot second which is very funny but the Glee club is obviously not having it. Kurt recruits the sub for Spanish which is none other then Holly Holliday aka Gwyneth Paltrow. He convinces her to take over the Glee club after being in her English class where she does a full musical number of Conjunction Junction. Kevin she some in, in what he thinks is probably one of the most famous scenes of the show now. Puck buttering the floor, Kurt and Rachel slipping on the butter, and Gwyneth cooly sliding in. Jenna asked Kevin if I he remembered how Gwyneth did the butter. Kevin said he didn’t. Jenna said they put her on roller skates and she skated in. Kevin said he doesn’t remember that at all. Jenna was going on today with roller skates. Kevin said he remembers not knowing what was going on and clearly they didn’t read the script. He said how do we know what was happening this scene. Jenna said they were like what’s going on with the butter and what are you talking about but yeah she was on roller skates or rollerblades. She said she will never forget it.

So Holly comes in and asks them what they want to do. Jenna said which is such a concept and its like when a director asked them what they wanted to do. Puck says Ceelo and so Holly Holiday does her first number. Kevin said Gwyneth ended up doing this at the Grammys with Ceelo which is crazy. That’s a crazy impact. That was one of the biggest songs of the year, you are nominated for a Grammy, and you have Gwyneth Paltrow come on a do it with you because that version was so big. Kevin said isn’t that insane. Jenna said it’s crazy. She said she didn’t know Gwyneth could sing like that and asked Kevin if he knew. Kevin said no and that she was super excited to do it. A lot of the guest stars wanted to come on the show because a lot of people can sing and don’t get the opportunity to if they are movie stars or tv stars. There’s not a lot of musical going around. He said he thinks she sounded great on the song.

Jenna said they had to go back to Conjunction Junction for just one second. She said their producers found this thing and its like got goss. She said when Holly Holiday makes that dig about Lindsay Lohan, Kevin said oh that was in the Spanish class, apparently Deena Lohan was very upset about the jab and she doesn’t know if thats true. There are reports that cast made amends with Lindsay over a dinner. Kevin said it wasn’t a dinner. They did hang out with her after the SAG awards at the Chateau Mormont. He said he thinks that is what this has to be in reference to. He said he does think Ryan is mean and stupid and she didn’t deserve it. It was at the time where everyone was ragging on Lindsay. Jenna said it felt like anything went at that point. Kevin said which is terrible. They hung out with her and he said he thinks her and Chris stayed friends for awhile. Jenna said WHAT?!?! Kevin said she was cool with us. Jenna said and then she came on the show so she was fine. Jenna said she thought maybe there was a dinner with Ryan and Lindsay. Kevin said maybe but he sort of assumed it was what he talked about before because they hung out all night. Jenna said yeah you guys did. Kevin’s as like where were you. Jenna said she was there but she didn’t hang out with her. Kevin said why would have been there and not with us. Jenna said she was but she didn’t hang out with her, she didn’t engage. Kevin said did you have a beef with Lindsay Lohan. Jenna said yeah. She did a photoshoot with Jenna’s ex-boyfriend at one point and it was very sexy and she was not a fan of her. Kevins said I remember this. Jenna said she was sure Lindsay was going to make a pass at him and neither of them cared, that’s the funny part. She shouldn’t have blamed Lindsay she should blamed her ex-boyfriend. Kevin said he completely forgot about that. Jenna said her and Lindsay grew up in the same town essentially on Long Island. They used to run in the same circles and audition for the same things. She said they grew up acting. She said she doesn’t think she worked with Lindsay all that much. Kevin said crazy. He said because they were all around the same ageish and growing up in LA he started getting snuck into clubs at 16 or 17 and that all stopped when she got caught going into clubs underage. They started putting sheriffs outside all the clubs they would go to. Jenna said she ruined it for you. Kevin said yep.

Kevins said they watched the episode and they know what happens.

Kevin said do you remember at this Grammy. Gwyneth introduced them to Beyoncé. She performed with Ceelo. Gwyneth and Beyoncé went as each others dates at the Grammys and sat in the front row. The glee cast were in the 6 or 7 row. Dianna was like next commercial break we are going to make a run for it and they weren’t going to tell anyone else because they can’t have everyone joining us. Jenna said what the hell. Kevin said it was going to be too many people to coordinate. Jenna said fair whatever. Kevin was like it’s Beyoncé I’ve got to go. So they go up and some of them did see us and did join them. Gwyneth was like oh do you know B and introduced them. Kevin said Beyoncé stands and was just very quiet and smiling and Gwyneth was like are we going to do shots after this, very Holly Holiday, and she looks at Beyoncé and Beyoncé was like yeah. Jennas said Beyoncé is kind of short. Like she her stature is even bigger then Gwyneth. Kevin said they are the same height but she wears heels all the time. Jenna said she imagined Beyoncé being twice her height, well she is in all fairness. Jenna said this is the infamous Naya story. They went to the bathroom and Naya was pinning up her dress and Beyoncé came in and was like weren’t you in a movie with my sister. Naya was on the floor pinning Jenna’s dress and she was like no. Beyoncé was like are you sure. Naya was like yeah yeah. Beyoncé was like who told me that. Jenna said they both walked out of the bathroom and were like what just happened. Kevin said he thinks Beyoncé turned to a random person at the sink and was like did you tell me that. He said his sister was in the bathroom with Jenna and Naya. He said he didn’t know where the other boys were. It was only him and they were at an after party. He came out of the bathroom and there was no one around and he looks up and it’s just Jay-z and his body guard. He immediately looked down at his lap like oh my god, oh my god. They had met him before through Gwyneth but anyway. He said his sister came out of the bathroom and was like oh my god do you know what just happened in there. She was with Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyoncé and they are fixing someone’s dress and then Beyoncé asked her for mints because she was taking out these mints. He said he was giving his sister shit all night for having these mints because he thinks they were making her breath worse because she kept eating them because she was so nervous and then Beyoncé asked for mints and his sister was like you can have all of them which he would have said too. Jenna said she doesn’t remember that. Jenna said what a great memory of their one Grammy experience. Then she said that’s not true they went to the Grammys after that but they didn’t go for Glee. Kevin said no we didn’t. We only go to the Grammys when we are nominated. Jenna said that’s fair.

Now back to the show. Holly Holiday is obviously killing it with all of us. We love it. We love her. Sue loves her. Sue is having a gay old time with Holly Holiday. Rachel is like Mr. Schue this girl is coming for your job. You need to come back or you won’t have a job to com back to. He starts to get paranoid and rightfully so because Sue fires him. She hires Holly full time which brings them to a full confrontation. Holly is like look there aren’t a lot of good jobs out there and I need this job. In the meantime what Holly has done has won over Rachel a bit because yo you suck, you are a total drag has everyone ever told you that. Puck’s like I have. Rachel realizes there was an uptempo number she has always wanted to do. Kevin said he loves all these whips to Schue trying to find a Journey song they haven’t done yet. Then they do this big Chicago number which was insane and great. He asked Jenna if she remembers watching it. Jenna said she remembers being happy she was in the audience, Kevin said same, not really remembering watching them but then also being like oh my god they really made both of these girls work really hard. Kevin said and then also budget. Jenna said for Gwyneth you bring budget. Well Gwyneth was the budget but also you bring budget. Kevin said he always did wonder how much the guest stars got paid. Jenna said she thinks it varied. Kevin said probably. Jenna said she doesn’t think it was one rate. Kevin said they have never and will never be privy to that information. Jenna said never. Kevin said guests were the entire budget.

Meanwhile, while Will is home and Holly is basically taking over the Glee club, he is being taken care of by the one and only Terri Schuester. As crazy as she is she knows Will. She brings him soup. She rubs his chest with the vapo rub. Kevin mimics the sick little baby line. Jenna said the baby voice makes her very uncomfortable. Kevin said he hates it because its so good. Will is like get out of here don’t come back but she comes back. She takes care of him in many ways. She gives him Singing in the Rain to watch. This leads to his fever dream of this wonderful number, very random, between him and Harry. Kevin said it’s so random and out of place but excellent. Jenna said its very exciting to watch. Jenna said this number starts and she’s like oh right this is the Singing in the Rain number front his episode, I remember this. Then she looks to the left of screen and was like is that Tina and then she is like that’s not me it’s a crew girl. It’s Tina. Kevin said he remembers her being a part of this. Jenna said she wishes she did because she doesn’t remember being there. Kevin said she didn’t have a lot comparatively. Jenna said she genuinely looked at the screen was was like is that Tina. Kevin said there has been a few times he has done that since they have been doing this podcast. Jenna said okay fair and this was the first one where she was alarmed at the fact that she doesn’t remember being there. Kevin said imagine if you are out on a night and you have a little too much to drink and someone shows you a photo from that night a decade later and you are like I wasn’t there. I left at the first bar. Jenna said that is what it feels like without the fun of the alcohol. Jenna said and then she sees Kevin and the others and was like okay other people were there. Okay I was there. I don’t remember being there. Kevin said if they didn’t have to do anything they really sort of checked out. Jenna said to be fair she doesn’t think they were in a lot of the shots so they don’t think were actually even on the stage. Kevin said we weren’t. Jenna said just making sure. Kevin said you brain is fine.

Terri comes back and is taking care of him again. Somehow they end up canoodling. Kevin said that is one word for it. Jenna said she was like no don’t do it. Kevin said this was the start of a vapor rub. Jenna said this is the beginning and the end or well it should be. Kevin said Terri’s vapor rub walked so your vapor rub could run. Jenna said I’m not quite sure why she was there or why that happened but it moved storyline along. Then Rachel comes and tells him he needs to comeback. She had a mask which is also very covid ptsd. Kevin said they are going to talk about Mercedes with the tots but she gets in trouble for doing something now that Holly is the full time teacher. Holly is like I don’t know to do this actually, I’ve accepted this job and don’t know how to do it. She goes to Schuesters house and has this really great scene. They are really great together. She is upset and vulnerable and starts to open up. They were having a really adult and meaningful conversation. Terri shows up and Holly was like ooh drama. Will kicks her out seemingly for good. Holly says your wife is a bitch.

They other thing happening in this episode is Kurt, Blaine, and Mercedes. Kurt is becoming closer to Blaine. He is spending every waking second with him. They have all these plans. The person that is getting the brunt of the dereliction basically of friendship is Mercedes. Kurt sees Blaine as his new bff in a way and Mercedes is put out to pasture basically. She is like what about me. She keeps trying to make plans and s he’s not excited for him. Meanwhile we see that she loves the tater tots. Jenna said she wondering why the tots came in that scene. Why are they using Mercedes and food right now. What is this thing but then she was like okay okay okay. So Sue decides as part of he principal campaign and reforming the school was reforming the children’s diets and taking away the tots. Mercedes is not happy about it. She loses it. They get taken away. She’s upset. He is basically the third wheel on that date with Kurt and Blaine. Kurt tries to include her and she orders tots. Kurt tries to set her up with someone and Mercedes is just because he is black. Kurt is like kind of. Kurt gives it to her straight and is like I think you are replacing me with food. She brings a box of tots to school. Kevin said he loves when she stands up in the cafeteria and does that Sally Field with the union sign, it’s very that, and everyone stands up and screams tots and Chris is shocked. Kevin said he just loves seeing them together. Then Mercedes stuffs Sue’s Lecar exhaust with tots. Then Holly is brought in and Jenna said she is not sure why Schue or Holly are brought in with the child. Kevin said he just accept it but why. Jenna said because we need a voice of reason against Sue because kids can’t talk back to adults. Mercedes can’t talk back to Sue or she will get expelled. Jenna said she thought it was funny that there was always one of them in there. Kevin said their glee club teacher was their voice. This is where Holly realizes this is out of her capacity and she doesn’t know what she is doing. Mercedes is going to get stuck with he bill to fix the car and Holly was like is this on me, am I going to jail? This is when she shows up at Schue’s place and admits she is out of her depth. This is also when Sue realizes Holly is not a capable teacher in this way. Great as a substitute but we need Schue back as well. Everyone wants Schue back. Sue likes a good foe and Holly is not a good enough foe for her at all. Kevin said does it ever get fully resolved. Jenna said she thinks that she has to repair it and that’s basically it.

Then we get to all roads lead to this pool of water on the auditorium stage. Will realizes when he gets back the kids miss Holly and he’s like okay can you help me make up this number and modernize Singing in the Rain. Jenna said she remembers the umbrellas were an issue. They were not meant to be open and closed every two seconds. Kevin jumped in saying everything was an issue with this number. Jenna said some people really love this number and watching she was like this looks really cool. Kevin said it looks great. Filming it was a nightmare. Kevin said he never hated anything more and said actually that’s not true. Jenna said what the fox say. She then explained their was a box on the stage and it was about a foot high, maybe not even, on each side. It was very short and low to the ground. Then it’s was covered in vinyl and they put water in it. Kevin said and carpet, now they have talked to Andrew and Ryan, there was some sort of carpet in there so they wouldn’t slip. Jenna said thats right they did put the carpet in there. Jenna said she remembers rehearing and said they didn’t rehearse with the extra umbrellas. She said first of all thee is a problem there because these umbrellas weren’t prop umbrellas meant to be open and closed a thousand times. In the choreography you can’t really tell but they were opening and closing them a thousand times. This was the least of their problems though. Jenna said water on the stage did not belong. Kevin said that was just from their perspective and they didn’t know all the other stuff that was going out hat Ryan and Andrew talked about int heir episodes. Andrew told them about the issue with the carpet. Ryan wanted it cleaned out because it got moldy and the water wasn’t clear. So they had to drain it and clean it. They didn’t want to put the cast at risk. Then they were suds in there from cleaning the carpet. Jenna said they told them to kick up as much water as they could get in the air so when they shoot in 48 frames, double time, to make it look like slow motion. People were really getting in there and it was getting into their faces. By the end of one take of the number their rain boots had water up to their shins. The would take their shoes off and just pour the water off. Jenna said she couldn’t see and she was afraid she was going to get hit by an umbrella. It was Ryan directing so they didn’t want to complain.

Jenna said that Kevin was low to the ground and in the corner. Kevin said if you watch the number he doesn’t move. After he does his little Jay-z thing he is as far back in the right corner as possible. He couldn’t see, he was wearing glasses and actually needs them. He was at waist level so everyone is intentionally kicking water up to the height of his face and because he was sitting it was all collecting in his lap. The water might have been warm when it was put in the box but by the time was sitting their being kicked up and exposed to the air its no longer warm. The seat, his clothes, everything was just soaking, sopping, wet. He sat there for half a day. He was so miserable. He wasn’t even dancing. He is barely at the edge of the frame in three shots. He was like he was barely in the number and he had just given up. He had no will to perform and was like I can’t do it. Jenna said if she was him she would have given up too. Kevin said you couldn’t see his eyes anyways and that he might have just been moving his arms. What was he going to do? It was really hard to wheel around the water logged carpet. No one could push him around because they all had props. Jenna said oh no Artie. Kevin said people really do love the number and every time someone says he has to check himself. Jenna said her initial reaction is eugh but it looked really cool. Kevin said its also weird that Holly and Will were performing with the Glee club. Jenna said you had to have a Gwyneth number at the end. Jenna said she remembers looking at the stage in the episode last night when she was watching and thinking oh you wouldn’t really know how they did that and she was like okay I get how people really like this. It looks really cool. Kevin said the rain is coming down in the back. Jenna said she didn’t remember that part. It was really not fun. Kevin said the crew members that actually had to figure out how to do it and get it and drain it and redo it like ugh so good. Jenna said Gwyneth didn’t complain for one second. Kevin said here is the things Gwyneth never ever complained about anything. He said he doesn’t know how much she was getting paid so maybe I wouldn’t either. He said they were constantly learning when they had guest stars and famous people. He said watching her was an education. She did not complain. If she was off camera she would do full out every dance move. When they did Chicago and were getting the audience reactions she was doing it full out. She’s as a professional. Kevins said when she did Turning Tables that was also an education. Jenna said she forgot about that number. Kevin said to remind him to tell that story when they get to that episode.

Jenna said this episode was a journey. Kevins said he likes this episode. He really enjoyed it. Minus some Lindsay Lohan jokes it was really good episode.

Tartie Takes:

Cringe moments/ Ouchies- Kevin the Lindsay Lohan references and Holly’s bipolar rant. Jenna said while her Mary Todd Lincoln impression was very funny the joke itself about the bipolar was not funny. She said all her classroom moments were funny.

Best Dance Move - Kevins said I guess Singing in the Rain. Jenna I don’t know I’ve got to say Harry and Matt doing all those crazy backflips. They really did that. Kevin said, yeah you right, you win. Jenna said I always do.

Best Song - Forget You. Kevin said he does have to say this happened in the last episode with Jenna singing in the mash-up but Naya is singing her face off in these adlibs and is not covered for a single one of them. Jenna said not for a moment. Kevin said in the tour, the live version, you get to see her singing it and singing it live and she sounds incredible. Jenna said she forgot about that too.

Best Performance by a Prop - the tots and not the water bucket they were dancing in

Best Line - Kevin’s favorite line is when Mercedes is at Breadstix with Kurt and Blaine and you just hear gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, I opened my mouth and a little purse felt out. How did that get in there? Jenna said I love that. Kevin said he is obsessed with that. Jenna said that was very funny. Kevin said so good .Jenna said she has another one. When Will says when I’m sick there one thing that makes me feel better and Artie says, and it’s all in the delivery, Gin and juice.

Shit We Found on TikTok:

Kevin asks Jennta are you ready. Jenna said wow bringing back all the old school inside jokes back. She said I’m not ready but I’m ready. Someone on TikTok does the summer surgery fight. It’s two guys in cheerleading uniforms. Jenna watched it laughs hysterically. Kevin said he thinks it’s wonderful. Jenna said it’s really funny. Kevin said isn’t it cute. Jenna said very cute. Kevin said thanks for making that video its great. Jenna said it’s really cute. Kevin said some of the comments are like the one guy really looks like Quinn and Quinn voice fits him. Kevin said he agrees, they look like they could be relegated. Great work and big fan.

Jenna said thanks for that talk and thanks for listening. That was the Substitute and we hope you will come back next week to recap Furt. Kevin said oh Furt and then asked do you remember anything from Furt. Jenna said I think this when they get married. Kevin said wait Jenna you were a pescatarian up until Furt. Jenna said Kevin what a memory and then I wasn’t anymore. They had spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy’s. Her first meal back, what a meal. Kevin said for Furt they will be talking about spicy chicken sandwiches, marriage, Bruno Mars, and Tequila shots. Jenna said oh Romy. Get ready.

Come back next week.

[meltwonu]

|     𝖓𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒     |     CHAPTER 9

pairing; camboy!seokmin x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; camboy!au, university!au, camshows, camboy!seokmin, softdom!seokmin, sexual photos/videos, masturbation, praise!kink, daddy!kink, mentions of sex toys, soonyoung thinking he’s a matchmaker lol AND WE ARE BACK! 😭💕 Sooo sorry for the delay, it’s been like, a literal almost two whole months since ch 8 and for that I am very very sorry kdjkdjh ☠️ I thought it’d be best to ease back into it with this chapter since it’s been a while though 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Literally just,,, November did not go how i thought it would at all but the important thing is that we’re back! ✨ Hilariously, all of my posts next week will be queued bc I will be seeing bts soooo ☠️ y’know kjdhkj the grind never stops apparently 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I hope to get some real rest after then tho 😩✨ But anyway! enjoy ch9 and I will see you tomorrow to catch up on inbox messages! I love you, and have a good day! 🥴💕 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - ?

*queued post. (cuz even workin on Saturdays 😩 lol)

“Hey, did you hear about that weird anonymous board that’s popped up about our uni?”

Your ears perk up at the conversation coming from the cafe table behind you - a threaded needle in one hand and one of Seokmin’s costume shirts in the other.

You’d chosen to finish some last minute alterations at a cafe; knowing that if you tried to work at home, you’d get distracted and not finish on time.

“No? What’s it about?”

“I mean, I haven’t gone to check myself but apparently it’s some anonymous board called ‘/svt_u_gonewild’ where people have been posting nudes ‘n stuff… It’s only for our uni, though. So it’s just people that attend here, supposedly.”

You make a mental note to check on it later; curiosity making your mind wander about who would be posting on there and if you’d be able to recognize anyone.

Should I post on there? You ask yourself in the heat of the moment - cheeks warm as you bite your lip.

You’d been spending a lot more time with Seokmin lately and, admittedly, you’d found yourself falling more and more for him with each meeting the two of you had.

You watched from the sidelines during his rehearsals and when the two of you would have costume fittings, he would always make an effort to keep you laughing and engaged in a conversation.

Not to mention he was extremely gifted at what he did once he was serious about his work.

And he even kept his offer of always bringing you anything you needed, whether it’d been coffee or even late night food when the two of you knew you’d be having costume fittings the next morning.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ he’d always say with a sheepish smile, ‘You’re working so hard for me and I really appreciate that.’

“Soonyoung-hyung… You know everyone can tell it’s you posting… Right?”

The male smirks as he pockets his phone and takes a sip of his red plastic cup. 

“So? What if I said I don’t care, huh? I mean, look at me. What would I wanna hide about this?”

He does a spin as Seokmin rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his own drink.

They’d ended up at another frat party, this one quieter than most of the others he’d been to.

Thankfully.

But while Soonyoung had been having the time of his life, Seokmin couldn’t help but think about the 9AM costume fitting he had at the campus the next morning - choosing to only have a few drinks before he’d go home and maybe stream for just a little bit before bed.

“Hey, I saw this post earlier, I think you might like it, Seokmin!”

Soonyoung fishes for the phone he’d just pocketed a few seconds prior; scrolling as quickly as possible before he finds the picture he was looking for.

“A-ha! Here you go, I think you’d like it. I dunno, it kinda reminded me of you for some reason?”

The younger male leans in to see the photo, eyes as wide as saucers when he sees it fully.

It was a photo of a lingerie-clad body; baby pink and mostly only lace covering up barely anything with a large pink dildo between the spread legs to cover up the fact that the figure didn’t have any panties on.

‘I thought this might’ve been daddy’s favorite…? I’m not sure though… Tell me what you like?’ was the caption and it made Seokmin’s mouth water at the scenarios that ran through his head in a split second.

“Ay, are you okay? I don’t think you’ve blinked yet.”

“H-huh? Oh, uh, I just… zoned out, is all. Um, maybe you should put that away, we’re in public, dude.”

Seokmin, against his will, tears his eyes off of the image that he so desperately wants to take one more look at - telling himself he’ll look for it later when he’s alone so he can inspect it further.

“You’re the one that was just staring but okay, sure. Y’know, you need to loosen up, Seokmin. Maybe you should post on there!”

“What?!”

Soonyoung laughs before downing the rest of his drink, “Yeah, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you anyway!”

“Uh, right…”

“Or, hmm, do you want me to figure out who’s in the pic? I can try to hook you up or something’ if you want? You seemed reeeaaallly interested~ And I think I might have the skills~ Unless you’re scared she’s more experienced than you~”

“Please, can we finish up taking their free booze so we can go home?”

You’re about to let sleep take you when a notification pops up on your phone - the light making you groan as you pick it up to see what it was.

‘Bedtime thoughts....? [Praise Kink] [Audio Stream]’

You thank the powers above that Dokyeom’s streams were always audio streams and that you didn’t have to pay attention to any videos as you opened the stream and set your phone back down onto the bed sheets.

“Mm, sorry,” He starts - voice groggy and sleepy as he sighs, “I was about to go to sleep but I just wanted to pop in really quick… I--I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to get off… I’ve been like this for an hour now…”

User98475945: ooo why’s that?

Anonymous093847: were you sleeping?

b@d_dream: I was about to go to bed too… What was on your mind?

Dokyeom chuckles on the other end and between his soft groans and muffled sighs, you can hear the slicked noises of his hand working up and down his cock as you lick your lips.

“I saw a picture earlier that I really liked… Got me thinkin’ about how much I’d wanna praise my babygirl, y’know? Especially after you’ve worked so hard riding my cock…”

You squirm underneath the covers and you snake a hand between your thighs as you slowly work yourself up over his filthy words.

“There was a pink dildo in the picture and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d love to thrust that toy right into your pretty ‘lil cunt, baby…” Dokyeom moans right into the mic as you press your fingers right into your clothed mound. “I wanna see you bent over while I thrust that toy into you… And I know you’d be a good girl and take what daddy gives to you, right? You’re such a good girl for me, after all.”

The comments on Dokyeom’s stream go crazy as they fly across the screen; virtually impossible to read any of them as he continues.

“You’d be so good for me and take that toy… Right before I fuck your pretty cunt open, spread your legs nice ‘n wide for me while you keep all that pretty lingerie on your body too~ You’ll let daddy cum on your pretty pink lingerie and get it all dirty, right?”

You can hear Dokyeom’s hand speeding up as he works himself up to an orgasm and there’s a slurry of comments begging to know what the picture actually looked like for him to be this turned on.

He ignores it for a moment, instead chasing his high as his hips thrust up into his enclosed fist and soft, muttered curse words fall from his lips right into the mic.

The stream has only been going on for a few minutes but in that time, Dokyeom manages to make $2000 - something he was extremely proud of.

“Ah, f-fuck… I wanna cum so bad already… I’ve been touching myself far longer than I had the stream open… do you want daddy to cum inside of your pretty pussy or on you, princess?”

He lets out a airy chuckle before he feels himself cumming; succumbing to the pleasure as his eyes clamp shut and his hips erratically thrust up into his fist.

Donations and comments make the stream lag slightly as his viewers drink in the way his voice gets airy in the midst of his high and you feel the wetness soak into your panties as you groan and realize it’s going to take more than this to get you off before you can fully rest and go to bed.

‘I’ll just replay some of his old videos, get off and go to bed…’ You reason with yourself; promising to get to sleep as soon as you were satisfied.

You had a 9AM fitting with Seokmin and it was already severely late into the night.

But it takes a few long minutes of Dokyeom moaning and sighing into the mic before he’s coming down and slumping against his computer chair - chuckling softly as he gets back to the question at hand.

“Mm, it was a pretty photo, by the way… Cut off right before the face but the figure was covered up in baby pink lingerie… it didn’t leave much to the imagination and the pink dildo made me wonder if she could take all of it… Then it got me thinking about fucking my pretty ‘lil princess all night… I was out with a friend and I felt bad - I bailed a little early because my cock was so hard just thinking about it.”

He laughs again, this time sounding a little more tired. “There were a lot of comments underneath praising her and leaving all sorts of filthy comments - I think she even responded to some saying how wet they made her so... Y’know. I won’t say I’m jealous buuuut... Couldn’t help but think about it too.”

Your brows furrow as you process his words.

He couldn’t have been talking about the photo you’d posted earlier.

Right?

b@d_dream: where was it posted? I kinda wanna see…

User284937: me too!

Anonymous748594: same!

“Ah, I wish I could but I can’t. Privacy reasons, y’know? They might be local to me.” Dokyeom stretches and yawns into the mic, “But there was a cute ‘lil butterfly charm right in the middle of the bra - it was purple and blue so if you see it, you know you’re looking at the right one~”

Your breath stops for a moment ad your body goes rigid.

He was talking about you.

You freeze under the covers with your hand between your legs, suddenly more interested in the fact Dokyeom was in the same anonymous board as you were which meant he attended the same university that you did.

But you didn’t know a Dokyeom?

But the campus is big, you tell yourself; slowly feeling a cold sweat start to wash over your body, he could be anywhere there.

And in your sleepy haze, you can’t remember if you’d even told Dokyeom which university you attended - only remembering that the two of you had spoken about attending one in general.

You’re too deep into your thoughts to realize Dokyeom was already signing off for the night; now too awake to even go to bed and too curious to even get off.

A sigh escapes your lips as you slide your hand from between your thighs - it would be a long night.