#i just really miss my best friend
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purple hawke who, at malcolm's death, lost not only a father, a mentor, the single most stable and safe point in their world up until this moment. but also the only person in their life who would consistently, gleefully 'yes, and — ' them. the loss, in one fell swoop, of both a beloved parent and your sole willing — no, not only willing, enthusiastic — improv partner. truly, the most unkindest cut of all that the maker could have seen fit to deal. (there's always so much less laughter in the house, after malcolm's gone.)
and then after all the horrors of the blight and trying to make a new life in the shithole turned shithome of kirkwall....... they meet varric. and something that's been slumbering deep within their soul dries a tear of relief and joy and whispers 'oh we are so back'. and they are so right
#bound together by an oath more solemn and more sacred than any vow of marriage#(I'll be your yes and for life bro. I really mean it bro. your nonsense is safe with me bro./*bro*)#commitment to the bit. and also our friendship. queerplatonic life improv partners & bullshit enablers. a beautiful thing tbh#dragon age#dragon age 2#varric tethras#hawke#purple hawke#on second thought let's not go to kirkwall; it is a silly place#purple hawke seems in some way especially alone in their family to me in some ways? there's no one to 'match' them#blue hawke and bethany seem to understand each other quite well; red hawke and carver are kind of uh 'on the same wavelength'#for all that that wavelength involves constantly butting heads and being shitty to each other haha#with malcolm gone there's really no one else in the household who seems to resonate even in that way with purple hawke#varric seems to have a similar situation going in his own family too which like. I'm so glad these chucklefucks found each other haha#oh to have a best friend you could just play effortless nonsense tennis with for hours at a time again. I miss that in my life
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merlin who grew up in a small village and only having one (1) friend growing up (will) and them two being thick as thieves and not making friends with anyone else so they have like no boundaries and they eventually begin to court without really knowing what they’re doing but just knowing that they’re super close and care for each other deeply but not being able to put a name to what they are. which in turn leads to merlin growing up thinking that like spending 24/7 together, holding hands everywhere you go, staring into each others eyes and at each others lips, cuddling at night even when it’s boiling hot, and kissing is normal in platonic friendships which leads to a LOT of misunderstandings and miscommunication when he gets to camelot.
#merlin x will#what’s their ship name#whatever#merlin completely missing gwen’s flirting in the early seasons#thinking him and lancelot are just really good friends despite the fact that they’ve kissed multiple times#thinking him and gwaine are BEST friends after spending the night in his room#(gwaine never correcting that bc he’s used to the whole one night stand move on kinda thing. he’s a fling queen.)#never questioning what the fuck is going on with him and arthur#merlin: i love all my very good friends :]#literally all of camelot: i’m in love with you#merlin emrys#bbc merlin#mergwen#merthur#mercelot#mergwaine#multishipper#merlin’s harem#oblivious merlin 🔛🔝#arthur pendragon#sir gwaine#sir lancelot#guinevere#this is just adding on to my previous bbc merlin post LMAO#i just decided to post it separate
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I love reid so much but if I hear another person say "I'm not watching Criminal Minds: Evolution because Reid isn't there" I'm going to throw something!
What about JJ! What about EMILY! What about PENELOPE! What about TARA!!! DAVE? LUKE?
DO THEY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU???!?!!!!!?!!!?!?@
#this is soecifically aimed at my little sister and my best friend#like i really do love reid but him being absent doesnt take away from my enjoyment of the others!#they deserve more attention!!!!#my thoughts 👻#criminal minds#criminal minds fandom#jennifer jareau#spencer reid#emily prentiss#tara lewis#penelope garcia#david rossi#luke alvez#i feel like im missing someone but maybe im just crazy
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best friends jegulus going through a huge falling out after james gets together with his first boyfriend/girlfriend. james has no idea why his best friend suddenly doesn’t want to talk to him, and regulus has no idea why his best friend doesn’t feel the same way he feels
#the boyfriend is remus in my head#and james is really happy about it#he’s happy with his partner#but he misses reg more than anything#he doesn’t understand why he won’t talk to him anymore#are we still friends came on#so i had thoughts#they wouldn’t talk for years after#like reg moves schools and they don’t see each other until college#and by then so much has happened#but they’re still just as in love with each other#HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND THAT WAS THE WORST PART!#jegulus
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sorry for no art was too busy MEETING BRENNAN ZAC AND ERIKA????????
#i didnt get a pic with zac but i did get his autograph which is huge#doxxing myself a little but i really needed to post abt this#i was front row and rverything it was amazing .. i wasnt even going to dreamhack for them i was going to watch the cs2 tournament with my#best friend and then i got an ad about dnd with brennan and i was likw WHAAAAAAAAT#i missed the finals of rhe cs2 tournament AND seeing my favorite team win live just to stand in the meet and greet line for three hours but#i have absolutely no regrets.. i wish i could post the video of my meet and greet w brennan he complimented my piercings and makeup right#off the bat before i even said anything but my name.. we had a super sweet convo#AND ERIKA WAS SO SWEET TOO! rhey brought brennan food bcs he stayed in the meet n greet for way longer than he needed to and they took#pictures and signed stuff and talked to people even tho they werent meant to be in the meet n greet for some reason.. idk why it was#only brennan poor him . but anyways i had a lot of fun it was awesome the one shot was so funny and fun i love d20#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#brennan lee mulligan#erika ishii#zac oyama#dreamhack#dreamhack 2024
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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oh the feeling of listening to and browsing through spotify playlists of old friends you've lost touch with/sort of fell out with because you need to feel like you still kind of know them and it's the only way you feel like you can have any semblance of a relationship with them.
#please tell me im not the only one#spotify#like idk#its sad#but also i think its probably for the best#i miss my friends#but also were they ever really my friends#melancholic#stalking the playlists just to feel like i still know them#i miss you but
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Thinking about the little Wayne at the end of hylics 2 with Som, what's his deal?
#hylics#hylics somsnosa#hylics wayne#hylics 2#I could've definitely missed something somewhere tbh#or maybe there is no meaning and he's just a little guy to follow her anywhere#but thats kinda sad? like you just have this miniature version of your best friend whom you were really close with#said friend just dipped and you dont know where he is#like thatd fuck me up#idk i have som and wayne angst on the brain lol like i got so much to say about them#my art
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i think that the major misinterpretation that people have with taco is that she didn't get attached to mic because of her sad face in the end wanted to show regret because "she hurted her friend". like. no, she wasn't sad because she regretted what she did. she was sad because she's alone again, but she knows very well at the end that she had it coming. the reason as to why taco was so desperate of wanting mic to tell her that she did gain something is because. she SAW pickle in mic, but of course their situation is very different. "Oh but Taco couldn't have done what she did to Mic to Pickle, Mic was fully aware" but she did do that. Mic herself says it. That is pretty much what II is telling you. Taco isn't a good friend, and is not exactly a good person either. Mic was aware that Taco was/is a bad person, but Mic's nature makes her believe in whoever acknowledges her. Taco made Mic feel like she needed her, just the way she made Pickle feel back in s1.
she didn't really change thanks to mic. her faces of "regret" aren't her actually lamenting all of the stuff she did to microphone, but rather just her realizing that she proved what everyone said about her as a result. i will give it to that she might've tried to change, but not because of mic. she wanted to win the prize so she could prove others wrong on her being a loser and a coward, by being a loser and a coward. if anything, mic made her realize that she hasn't changed. she pretty much just ruined everything for everyone who saw her as a friend, and for herself.
taco's whole arc is constantly just downgraded to questionable takes and listen. i do agree that she is heavily flawed as a character. she is morally gray, but ii doesn't portray her as a good person with good intentions, nor she should be really be treated as if she was. neither she had those good intentions with mic at all, i mean, their "friendship" pretty much started because of taco wanting the prize money, taking a part of microphone's prize if she made mic won, you know, an offer. she would get the prize and mic would get recognition. but everyone seems to forget that probably, the main reason as to why she's doing all of this, is because she does regret how she acted on s1. she doesn't exactly regret doing all of that to microphone, and even if she does, it's for the wrong reasons. (that's because she did the exact same thing to you know, pickle, her once best friend, the only person she truly ever cared about)
people do tend to forget that taco keeps sending letters to pickle, and that's often just used for pickle angst and making it his only character trait, but. it's not that. it's the fact that taco keeps on writing those letters, despite fully knowing that she did hurt pickle because of her actions. taco's biggest flaw is that she can't accept that she has ruined everything and wants so desperately to be back on pickle's life because she ended up caring about him deeply as a person. as a friend. but she was never there at all, either.
taco can't seem to understand that she has hurted people badly. sure, she seemed like a "friend" to microphone, and you can argue whatever you want but a fact is that taco IS smart, and she knew that the only way to possibly keep mic by her side is pretending to want to be better, you know, the same way she pretended to be just a odd fella so pickle and her could remain together and have an advance at the game. she played with both of them. because both pickle and mic believed in her but were just used by her for the game.
however, taco does seem to regret the way everything went during-post s1. you can see how she yearns for another chance and is saddened about not getting it, but that's not only for comedic purposes, but that's because the writing is telling you that she won't get a second chance. at least not here.
what i want people to understand is that, yes, taco is a complex character, however trying to sugarcoat what she did is pretty much missing the point of her writing as a whole. she isn't a good person neither was she a good friend. she hasn't grown because she was never able to let go of something that she thinks that she can fix with some words and a prize. she thinks that she can still fix her friendship with pickle, she thinks that she can clear her name (even if she was the one who tainted it), but she only ended up proving knife right. she proved everyone right. she hasn't changed. a morally gray character is that. they're not exactly fully bad or fully good, but it's taco's actions that speak a lot. words are cheap, and taco's title is "The Liar", and that says a lot, because she kept on lying to microphone and to pickle on both of their games. she won't heal unless she lets go.
and i want to be clear here: i do think that taco can go through redemption. i do think that taco can become a better person, but not in the way people portray her to do so. because it just pretty much goes against what her arc has settled in for us, and the other arcs that were involved in hers as well.
taco's arc is meant to be somewhat a parallel with nickel's in a way. hell, even with knife's arc if anything. she treats knife as a simple bully, but when she saw that he became smarter and way more emotionally aware than what she had expected, she felt attacked by that, because he was stable. he became a better person and he was rubbing that on her, and it made her feelings of anger way worse regarding him, but it is true. knife is pretty much everything that taco wants to be, but here's the thing that made them so different:
knife stayed. taco didn't stay.
knife is accepted by everyone in the hotel because meanwhile he hasn't explicitly said that he had a change of heart, he has shown it through actions and a big difference too is that he was there for pickle, even if they weren't close in s1, and taco is on the woods because deep down she is aware that she can't go back. not if she doesn't have something to offer as an direct apology, but here's the problem. whether or not she got the prize, she still wouldn't get forgiven by anyone due to what she said that day.
again. her problem is not being able to let go and to accept when she has messed up badly. she has been lying to everyone but she has also been lying to herself as a whole. she can't keep on doing this because it's just hurting everyone and herself. keeping grudges and holding onto past friendships that were doomed to fall is just hurting her. she is not on the state to keep on trying, she wasn't at all ever.
taco's arc most likely will have closure on a way that fits her character, and i feel like that would be with her letting go of inanimate insanity as a whole and of what she can't fix anymore. her trying to find herself after years of lying to everyone and to herself. she's not a good person. but she can become one. only if she knows what she did was wrong and that her second chance isn't there, and never will be, and if she recognizes that meanwhile she did that damage, she can still become a better person. just not there.
pickle and mic don't owe her anything, especially pickle. taco does owe them an apology, but they won't accept that. the least she could do is to accept their wishes, understand that she needs to leave them and grow to be a better person. maybe, if she does that, she would actually heal.
she doesn't need anyone to fix her. she needs to fix herself.
#inanimate insanity#ii#inanimate insanity invitational#ii 2#ii 3#inanimate insanity taco#inanimate insanity microphone#inanimate insanity knife#inanimate insanity pickle#and no. this isn't to bring ship discourse or anything. get that away from my character analysis.#i feel like taco is a really interesting character. it is pretty sad that even if she's popular people don't get her#“she's a complex fem character” yes she is. however you are pretty much missing the point. a character regardless of the gender can do bad-#-things and have a good intention/or a way to try to make up for that in their actions. however she is a case where she can't get closure w#-ith anyone because of the way she is written/the way she was given that complexity. she won't get closure with anyone in the cast at all#because they won't really forgive her since she kept on lying and using them as puppets. she had a change of heart. sure#but that doesn't erase all the pain she has caused#i genuinely do hope she gets her eventual closure by letting go. she does deserve to be okay but not with the cast.#i feel like the best way to put is. she had a good wish (wanting to become friends with pickle and showing that she changed)#with bad intentions and bad actions (using mic to get the prize + lying to her + other bad stuff she has done to the contestants such as h#-arming them without a motive/just because.)#max does analysis
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one year ago today.
#i really miss him just as much now as i did the day after#like its less intensely painful but i MISS him#when your pet is like your best friend.... he was just a little bird but he was like my world#so im fine really but it doesnt ever stop feeling so wrong#i went back and read my jounral entry from the day before and after and god#i dont know#one day i'll be able to remember him and feel mostly happy instead of so sad. looking forward to that day its what he deserves#allen
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this is the most scandalous thing you’re gonna wring outta me EVER
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#GOD I HOPE MY TWSTFOLOWERS DONT SEE THIS ILL BE SO EMBARRASSED#if any of them see this. uh. hi#anyway the idea struck me and it ate too hard and so I kinda HAD to.#<- EDIT HEKP GUYS ITS OK YOU CAN REBLLG TBIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i wuv seeing reblogs so dw about it i was just making a jokey <3 tehepero#i’m in such a mskz vibe i miss them sm!!!! (i always miss them)#burlesque is really fun to work w tho#such an iconic set. like FR#it was so embarrassing showing my friends the sketch for this tho. SIGH#but NGL i do think i ate <3 THANJ you mskz#one of my best sumi’s ever too btw. ate#kazunari miyoshi#miyoshi kazunari#misumi ikaruga#misumi ikagura#ikaruga misumi#misukazu#kazumisu#mskz#a3#a3! act addict actors#a3!#a3! art#a3! fanart#a3! kazunari#a3! misumi#a3 fanart#ashipiko draws ♪#please don’t flop!!!!!! 🫶
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Something that always breaks my heart is how during the House of Hades Nico is described as smiling and grinning actually pretty often, but later on in his pov he mentions that it's hard for him to do that, or really emote as a general.
Which means my poor most specialest little boy in the whole world Nico di Angelo was constantly going out of his way to mask and smile at the rest of The Seven even though he didn't know them basically at all.
And he had also just gone through literal hell while everybody except his sister was super rude to him the entire time.
And the whole time they are all just thinking about how he looks creepy when frowning but that they prefer that because his smile is even creepier.
They are all so mean to him whyyyyy
#poor nico he was probably thinking yes imma smile imma be helpful and not threatening even though i just went through tartarus got#kidnapped and i also miss my friend Percy so much whos like one of the two only people in this ship who have any good faith on me that my#voice breaks at the mere mention his name#but i will still do my best and the rest were all like ew why is it looking at me like that#nico di angelo#Luna's meta#<- i mean its presented really silly but its a genuine observation i made while reading so the tag fits#either way house of hades is just a big testament to nico di angelo being the most autistic character ever i raise my case
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It started as drawing him in a similar outfit to what I wore in highschool and two more doodles spawned outta nowhere
#crying bc one of my best friends and I are literally just Riddle and Che'nya it kills me#traditional#che'nya#riddle rosehearts#twst#i really really really wanna see this catboy again im game I only JUST got to Scarabia I miss this fucker#nobody mind me progressively drawing him more and more punk please i saw a few other people catch those vibes from him hhghhjsjsjskd#I did not appreciate Che'nya for the whole teo seconds he appeared 😭#chenya#twisted wonderland#artemiy artemiyevich pinker#twisted wonderland fanart#riddle twst#fanart
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I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.
#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable#like#Theres a flatness#the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs#with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto#Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about#than the fact her favorite color is red#Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children#Reynerd? sure is a guy#got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guy™. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery#he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people#and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed#all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk#Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they#pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked#and olive is here#anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that#idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games#purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Most™ but having#a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete#idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates#before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ™ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh#Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good#but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just#i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually
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see I need ghost clothes to have properties more or less like regular clothes because wearing someone else’s jacket or shirt is one of the most important expressions of affection in existence and yes basically what I’m saying is i wanna see charles give edwin his jacket for one reason or another and see edwin get all flustered and giddy about it
#the staple of all my high school romances (all like. two or three of them)#but on a more domestic level too….i love the trope of one partner wearing the other’s ill-fitting t-shirt around the house because#it’s comfy and they like feeling embraced in a way by the perosn they love#grahhhhhh I’m weak and cliche i know i know#but yeah the jacket thing…….im imagining like. something happens that leaves edwin hurt and exhausted on the ground and charles rushes over#to check if he’s okay and to help him up. and in doing so he drapes his signature jacket over edwin’s shoulders#and yeah ghosts can’t get cold. but edwin doesn’t say that out loud because he’s too busy being all 💕😳💕. similarly he forgets about being#hurt and can only think about how charles’ jacket feels on him and how everyone can see this mark of affection on him and. and.#yeah#i remember one of my favorite things about (stealing) wearing my ex crushes and boyfriend’s jackets was feeling like. everyone can see#that I’m his. and he likes me. and that we’re Something. I’m Special to him#which is so teenager of me but I’m gonna be honest i doubt anything’s changed and I’m almost 24#I just haven’t felt like that in a long time. man i miss that feeling#but yeah edwin. being as jealous as he is and as up front about people knowing that charles comes first and they’re ‘Best Friends’ and all#i imagine he’d be the type to be a bit (not negatively) possessive and to love that little assertion of. yes. look. I’m his favorite.#we have something special. he loves me. specifically.#same reason i think he’d ACT annoyed at getting hickeys he can’t totally hide but really would kind of love the feeling of being marked#like that. it’s Evidence. he likes everyone knowing charles is his and vice versa.#I think i broke myself#rambling#payneland#dead boy detectives
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