#i just needed to vent about it
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After the comic fair I went to draw manga stiled portarits people have been telling me I should have an Instagram for business purposes.
May I have a two minutes tantrum about how I despise socials and how is toxic for someone that had to mask all his fuckin life to try to fit-in (without great results) to have to put up another fake facade to be marketable on social media?
How much I hate to have to market myself like a fucking product??
I HAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIITT AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHGHHHHHHGGGHHH HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE IT!
FUCK CAPITALISM VAFFANCULO MERDA MUORI!
*straights t-shirt sleeves*
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk u_u
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Aphobes on Twitter have been harassing Yasmin Benoit and the ace community at large so much that the word asexual has been trending all day, so I made a quick vent thread about it
#asexuality#asexual#tw aphobia#tw acephobia#I dont even know if my thread is any good or even coherent#i just needed to vent about it
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Second-guessing
#been overthinking all day today and needed to draw how it feels lately#a bit of a vent ahead#it’s gotten really lonely and almost alienating in a way#and the fandom seems so vastly different#and in a way I dont really feel ok in#i do take the steps to avoid anything that i don’t want to see#but it just feels like what i do is pointless#like what i draw is pointless#i know the more platonic/familial themes in my art will always be overshadowed#but its been a harsh truth ive been hit with#and it’s kind of heartbreaking#i’m forever grateful for the reminders of how my art is like a breath of fresh air#but man is it difficult to not just quit entirely#because it always falls back to: why am I doing this? what’s the point?#i’m sorry I feel like such a whiny loser when I talk about things like this#it’s all jumbled and all over the place but to put it simply it’s been super lonely#i just needed to say something before it completely boiled over#im sorry again
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self proclaimed n*zis will write entire manifestos about how [insert marginalized groups here] are the scum of the earth and then kill them in a mass shooting in hopes of inspiring others to do the same but won’t even be charged with a hate crime, yet luigi killed one (1) man and he’s being charged with terrorism? it’s scary how blatantly the government protects the rich and puts their interests over all else jfc. they’re making the class divide look so much more obvious.
#politics#vent#idk mute one of these words to never see me talk about this stuff again#i just c a n t take it#luigi mangione#like yes if he killed some one he needs to be charged with murder but TERRORISM?
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| Don't leave me All by myself in this world |
#zakkura#zack fair#cloud strife#ff7#final fantasy vii#las!art#finally drew them again after the game was released#something bigger than just a meme#i so needed to#and kinda got to vent this way about how meh i am about zack's storyline in rebirth#so i went for my fave thing about the whole game#because i'm predictable#with forget me nots and the blood in cloud's hair.#i love their relationship (romantic or not) so much#my fave aspect of the game#my babies my sweethearts#i love them so much okay#i need to lay down now
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how am i meant to ha wahoo yippee through life in these conditions
#vu talks shit#in this past week i have#gone to urgent care without insurance#paid about half my bills#been reminded that i still owe someone another near 200 for a trip i leave for in TWO DAYS#AND i paid for a rental space for something that i am ADMITTEDLY VERY HAPPY ABOUT BUT STILL SO BROKE NOW#and i have done ZERO grocery shopping#and im not sure i have the money to do grocery shopping right now#but im scared to look at my bank account after shelling out nearly 1k on everything else#AND i have to take my cat back to the vet soon cause she's starting to have asthma attacks again#i need to put everything new in my shop and put shit up for pre order cause i got charms im working on#but mAn i just#cannot afford the distractions rn#vent#AAAAAAAAAAUGH#i didnt wanna put that but i am stressing in the tags now
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Dying might seem scary, but being alive is scary already
[ID: art of Eugene from Drawtectives. He's staring forward, surrounded by billowing green smoke and floating golden stars. His expression seems wary or maybe uncertain. End ID.]
#drawfee#drawtectives#drawtectives fanart#eugene finch#drawfee fanart#uh#i have to admit i was drawing this to calm down a panic attack#i was thinking about a lot of things so i just needed familiarity#its essentially vent art HAHAH#the year is coming to a close and hes been there for me for almost 3 years now#hes my favourite character ever#its redundant to say i know his design like it was my own name#its truly wonderful how well hes written and how much comfort he brings me#julia lepetit#ive been misspelling her name for like years now in tags#i KNOW what its spelled like i was jhust skjafgksgf too distracted to notice#edit: ty to anistarrose for ID omg
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downfall cuddles for anyone who needs them right now
#i dont post about real world stuff much cause i want my blog to be a place to unwind#but things are rough at the moment and i needed to vent just a little#anyway pray for gaza and remember to boycott yall#lu legend#lu hyrule#linked universe#linkeduniverse#my art
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Girlhood is a spectrum
#apologies that this has essentially just turned into a Trevor stan account#I just need to vent to the world about my sassy manwhore malewife#/affectionate#castlevania#trevor belmont#curse of darkness#dead by daylight#meme#konami#ralph c belmont#pachislot cv
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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.
The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.
#COCSA ment#CSA ment#This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily#Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that#Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have#An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had#The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't#Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk#I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young#And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet#(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually
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ok hear me out????
things that i think stone had to do to nurse robotnik back to health after the end of sonic 2:
-physically dig him out of the rubble and carry him in his arms to safety
-cut his clothes off of him to access his injuries without bending or pulling on anything
-clean, stitch, and bandage wounds
-set broken/dislocated bones
-procure (steal) hospital-grade painkillers and medical equipment
-surgically remove shrapnel embedded in him
-hook him up to an intravenous line to administer (stolen) fluids and nutrients
-build or procure some kind of machine to monitor his vitals and alert him immediately of any changes
-carefully bathe and dress him
-monitor him 24/7 for days, barely sleeping, meticulously cataloging every detail of his injuries to keep track of any slight change in his condition
-kiss him on the forehead (this is what actually made him better he didnt need to do all that other shit)
#im cooking up a bit of a fic on this but slowly bc im out of practice at the writing#its going too slow i need to actually vent these ideas out really quick here#stobotnik#sonic movie 3#thinking about what kind of things stone had to be thinking about logistically#he had to push his fear down and step up to save his life and he couldnt worry about himself...man hold on a second#basically just the idea of stone having all this medical knowledge and ability came to me#and to quote lee majdoub: what cant stone do#it makes a lot of sense to me for him to be capable of all this#agent stone
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🧙♀️🐈⬛
#xmen#avengers#xmen comics#avengers comics#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#francesca the cat#ORGANIC FRANCESCA POSTING FROM SNAP ??more likely than you think..#snap sketches#did i doodle this just so i could rant in my tags. maybe.#i will talk about this doodle first tho ... cause i still like to ramble bout my own stuff....#uhhh i just wanted to draw wanda :) and fran :) yeah thats it jvAELKJEKLAJ#thought itd be cutesy ... they can be friends ... if mags will be apprehensive about the cat wanda will be the exact opposite#its only natural ..... ok Unrelated Vent/Ramble Time#i was very mad when i started drawing this but ive mellowed out considerably... still i love complaining..#ill delete my venty ranty tags in the morn .. for now i need my piece read .. or at least out there for my sanity ..#anyways tldr we all know i hate my mom and i very much do not like using 'hate' so lightly when i hate I Hate#like you know the hate speech from I Have No Mouth yeah literally me. literally me about my mom#most days i tolerate her because she barely exists in the same room as i for more than thirty seconds#but tonight. Ugh. note to self remember to never ask her for anything again. as is what ive said for years..#what a fool i was to think that would ever change. THAT in of itself is whatever yk her being irritating when it comes to. Being A Parent#but then she had the gall to start talking about my dad like oh my god see NOW im getting mad again#nothing makes me angrier than her talking about my dad like. UGH ill cap it there so i dont catch on fire somehow#also ill feel compelled to drop three novel's worth of lore and i dont have tags for that. also this is just supposed to be a cute doodlejV#i had plans to draw something else that was cutesy but then i got mad and couldnt focus on it#so now we're here... in any case bye bye. ill try to continue that other idea..#then i wanna focus on another thing.... if i make any progress on That afterwards it'll be a miracle
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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