#i just miss having someone to kiss
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I don't have a caption for this one tbh
#bitts posts#my pics#nsft#ns/fw#i took SUCH a good pic last night but its just full closeup on both holes so i suuuuuper cant post it#but man. if i could#anyway you get a lil dimmly lit tease instead#been thinking a lot about the kind of dominance thats both gentle and overwhelmingly present#dominance like a kiss on the forehead and a hand over your nose and mouth yknow??#i miss having someones full attention on me in that heady possessive way that says theyd do anything for me just as much as theyll break me#do you guys know what im talking about
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Thinking bout the time someone yelled at me because they didn't understand butches.
#feeling some kind of way about telling queer stories lately#and what makes something “queer enough”#which. in my opinion is that any story I tell is queer enough because I am a queer person telling stories about queer characters#but there are always going to be people who call that into question if boys arent kissing boys and girls arent kissing girls#in easy uncomplicated ways#looking glasses is meant to be messy#everyone is at turning points in their lives. they're young adults whose identities and relatio ships aren't fully formed yet#but those complications (in my opinion) are what make the story queer#what are dess's pronouns? she/her but only because she hasnt had a chance to think about anything else#when an overbearing mother got her daughter back after they were missing for years#she might have a hard time adjusting to her child maybe not being her “daughter”#which is queerer: two women getting together or breaking up?#i dont think it matters#but I find these in between spaces interesting to explore#and it's my story that I'm doing for free#so even if dess looks too much like a man#i dont owe it to anybody to conform my story to someone else's expectations#(long ramble that probably isnt very coherent)#(i've just been thinking about some of this stuff lately. and this is the funniest response I've ever gotten to the comic)#(like yeah. she is a girl. good job!)#(i dont often get hate on the comic (which I'm glad for) so whenever I do I find the types of hate really fascinating)#(and dont worry. I got this months ago. I've just been thinking about it again recently and laughing)#nickel for my thoughts
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Ooo requestober eh? Something I've been curious to see a bit more of maybe is Jake interracting with Scriabin. Edgar wondering about what the two of them talk about together alone got me curious too 👀
(Resending to the main for you :3)
Day 3 - Definitely not kissing! If that's what you think!
Meanwhile, Jake:
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#Jake#Since I already got my serious ''This is what I think they might get up to'' a couple Requestobers ago I opted for silliness this time lol#Plus last time I did Before so this time how about some After!#What situation would arise that Scriabin would have a one-on-one with Jake without Edgar? Maybe Edgar had work? Had to take Todd somewhere?#Either way he's painfully jealous on all sides haha poor lad#Jake's good to them I'm sure he'll get some affection later - Scriabin'll still hold it over his head for as long as he can tho lol#Can you tell I like lipstick stains haha ♪ They're legit some of my favourites to draw! :D#I think this is my first time - at least in a long long while - drawing them digitally tho :0 Fun!#They're just jkfdlsafd they're So cute haha ♥ Evidence of attention! Incriminating in their placement <3#Shows where someone was most focused on making them feel loved hehehe it's just so cute to me 💕#Like that they obviously went for each other's necks - of course - but also their foreheads and Jake kissed his nose#And also missed/got a bit too rowdy and got some lipstick on his glasses lol#Tell me that's not adorable!#And in classic fashion the lover returns home and sees lipstick stains and gets envious lol#Scriabin definitely used lipstick to make out with Jake specifically to make Edgar jealous lol - he could've avoided this and chose not to#Kiss him Edgar you'll feel better#Jake just having fun not thinking about the implications haha ♪#I may or may not have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about how Jake interacts with each of them around kisses >.>#I mean - other than mainfic every time he shows up he ends up kissing them in some capacity! It's hard not to recognize his patterns! Lol
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rivers if he was absorbed by poisonous gas but didn’t care too much
#weezer#rivers cuomo#poison gas#poison#maybe i’ll get more fans#THE WEEZER ARMY MUST GROW#THE WEEZER LVOERS !#please send me asks guys am so bored!!!#plus also dms are always open for any of u! i love u all n would love to talk to any of u#i took this pic and Wonderfront#i miss it. i wanna see them again :( but im broke!#i have to spend my money on my anniversary gift for my boyfriend which i’m NOT complaining about bc i love him obviously but am seriously SO#broke. i will draw whatever you guys want actually#for either 1) a follow (or if you are already following ; then free) 2) a little kiss#not on the lips though#but ya! please send. asks i always love interacting with you all! you guys r so sweet <3#there’s this tiktok user#maladroitlover579 and i love their videos so much they’re genuinely so silly n funny#i love commenting on their videos you guys should check them out they r huge weezer fan too!!! if you couldn’t tell by the name#omg today someone complimented my hair and i got so happy#MY OUTFITS HAVE BEEN SO FIRE LATELY🤤🤤 today i wore a short denim skirt with an off the shoulder black long sleeve with white leg warmers!#then yesterday i wore a black tube top with a long black skirt which hugged me#before i wore my brown sweater with my black skirt (which has POCKETS.) so it was super cute.#then monday i wore black yoga flares; white tank top with cute buttons; and a red shrug!#i got compliments on my style. 😎 guess i’m just the cutest girl on the block#or should i say… ON GHE BLOG??!#cuz it’s weezer blog… and i’m the only girl posted on here consistently….#always between my words i wanna add ‘da’ in the middle of them because that’s a running joke w my boyfriend#like da obviously! 🙄 da seriously? 😒 da Lol 😂#idk he’s silly and i’m silly
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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🏨 gimme those blorbo rooms fdsfdsfsfsd, since it’s Pinterest can I ask for more than one? XD if so ima ask to Karimas and Shaheens OH and also Gideons (low key I know what valens/yazans looks like but its a good excuse for u to get to share) so if u want to Valens and Yazans wild be fun 😌
K BYEEE <3 😘
LOLL im glad you asked and yes i will give you all of them 😌😂😂
Karima: she’s obsessed with collecting room decor and she has a crochet corner, half of her decor is crocheted too honestly 😂 I think she also has a thing for animal print stuff esp curtains and pillow cases, she’d keep small ceramics stuff she made with daemon everywhere
Shaheen: idk why it was funny to imagine his college dorm lol he uses space very efficiently also his desk is very important 🧠
Gideon: his room is so big and so empty but he’s barely home so who cares, the only notable thing about it besides the diabolical toys collection on display is the display cabinet he keeps all his medals, plane models, pictures, uniforms etc in
Yazan: yazan’s room as you know is a Dumpster 😂 it’s impossible to find anything in there and it’s never tidy, also so many posters and records + ofc drum corner
Valen: very pretty but his room is an entire house in itself you need directions to where everything is 💀 Texas king bed with a canopy, mirror above bed/on ceiling, maximalist unique decor and very beautifully coordinated color wise. Also huge portraits of himself obviously lol
[OC headcanons: Picture Edition!]
#thank u for the ask bestie I had a blast heh 💗💗💗#rip I just thought about the amount of STUFF karima would have to move to her and daemon’s place FJSKAJSKSK#she’s also the type to keep a lot of crap just because they have some sentimental value to her but it’s literally just crap from#an outside perspective#I don’t think shaheen’s dorm room is that aesthetic but he does have a lot of hangers and organization stuff that sure keeps it tidy lol#yazan I think gets tidier when he gets with kiara#she’s seen the mess at its worst but yk KDJSKSJS he wouldn’t let her live like that is what I’m saying 😂#but it’s so funny that even tho she has seen the mess and sat in it that he cleans up a bit when she comes over after they started dating#he’s like shy I guess can’t invite your gf over and have your room in this state lol what if they want to kiss on the bed or something#sorry crush not gf* 😂 he’s better when he’s older fjsksjdkdj he has a vacuum cleaner obsession now#also ig when you’re gideon and you’re room is that empty you put everything you can on display to fill it#but I think he only puts up the stuff he’s proud to have on display#even if that includes your whips and ropes collection which is insane 💀#half of gideon’s stuff is at valen’s place too FRKEJAKSJ#such a waste of money on a penthouse’s rent and for what#you don’t even have a toothbrush in your own house#it’s so funny to me that he probably keeps using his travel size stuff bc he keeps forgetting to buy like#regular size toothpaste or something 😭😂#valen has been actively trying to get him to fully move in actually lol#he succeeded eventually lol#anyways I will not think about valen moving all of gideon’s clothes and things#to a closet in his dressing room and sitting with them and going through his stuff when he misses him#he’s usually hesitant about wearing them too besides a designated sweater or two so they don’t lose his scent#I will also not think about valen spraying those shirts with what’s left of gideon’s cologne or that he keeps buying it or the fact that he#gets mad when someone from the staff goes in to clean the closet or ppl he’s dated esp asking what’s in there#ok it’s 2:30 am so I’ll put myself on phone timeout now 😔#again! Ty for the ask bestie! djskskdkfj 💗💗💗#ocs#my ocs#ask
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GRAHHHHHHHHHHHH
#i hate having feelings sometimes#no cuz like wdym#bestie you were in a relationship like nearly two months ago#YOU DON’T NEED ANOTHER ONE THIS EARLY#DON’T START ACTING LOVESICKKKKK#hmehgdjshdhj#no crush though just. the urge to hug and kiss someone#which i am doing. but not#in the way i wish#if that makes any fucking sense#i miss being in a relationship yallsers#this is rhe breakup hitting me nearly two months later#good lord#AND I FEEL SO BAD#still besties with my ex though love her to bits <333/platonically ofc#but yeagh#thoughts in the void#personal
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I just realized that all of Buck's relationships not only were initiated by the other person but also started in a crisis.
#not just the whole meeting in a call but like#abby started with buck not knowing how to handle losing someone on the job#they met when her mother went missing#buck needed a emergency tracheotomy on their first date#he met Ali after an earthquake#started dating her after having an identity crisis over abby abandoning him#Taylor literally kissed him while he thought his best friend was dying#and Natalia showed up as he struggled to process his death#and they got together after he had to deliver and give away a child who was biologically his#crisis#i am officially no longer in the eddie needs to choose boat#buck needs to initiate it#911#thoughts thoughts thoughts#buck
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Phupha 2 telling Kram 1 he'd pick the first person he had even if he fell for a second person just made me gasp. Cause I mean. Well. Phupha 1 had a fiancée, then met Kram 1, then said absolutely nothing about her to Kram 1, but once Kram 1 did find out about her & met her tried to pull out some "baby I was gonna tell you, I promise it's not what you think!" And then he just died? And now Kram 1 is falling for Tai 2 while also being like "no you love Phupha 1" like that entire man isn't dead???
Please someone just hug Tai 2. Like my god. His whole ass man died and then his man's other world double showed up and he tried to keep his distance but caught feelings, but Kram 1 still thought he could just switch Phupha 2 in for his dead Phupha 1 just for Kram 1 to realize he doesn't actually want Phupha 2??? And he does what Tai 2??? Please someone just hug Tai 2. I'm begging.
#two worlds#two worlds the series#Tai is GOING THROUGH IT#and honestly I don't even get the sense he is still grieving Kram 2#that's not to say he didn't love him and doesn't miss him#but his Kram died 3 years ago#he has had time to process it#that's why he tried say hard to keep his distance from Kram 1#whereas Kram had six months to accept Phupha 1 is dead and Phupha 2 isn't his#yet he clearly hadn't started that process and probably wouldn't have if Tai hadn't kissed him#so again#someone hug Tai please#preferably Kram once he accepts he does want this Tai and Tai isn't trying to replace Kram 2 with him#having said all that#how the fuck is this gonna end though???#like I would say maybe Kram will stay in Tai's world especially because his mom is there#but his world has his dad and is he just gonna be like nah fuck him it's fine#I'm still just so invested in this show#MaxNat really are doing it again!#regular clyde
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hi more drug question
I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation
Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out
lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo
MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!
to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give
now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare
to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment
OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)
in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)
taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.
sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!
#sorry this took me like a fucking hour i kept having to check myself w my partner + google to make sure i wasnt talking out of my ass lmfao#im sure ill be rereading and editing it for the next hour as well#damn just spent like another half hour#hope this is thorough enough for ya ajdbsjhdkshdkshs#on a tangentially related note: ive been weaning myself off of my SNRI (venlafaxine/effexor) bc it didnt help at all#and made my nails extremely brittle ????? like so bad they were constantly breaking to the quick and making me bleed#so pretty soon ill be able to do acid and molly again. sweet blessed molly how ive missed you#cant believe i forgot to mention this but as another personal mdma anecdote: my partner and i started dating while candy flipping#hed been staying at my house for like 4 months at that point but we hadnt really talked about like. relationship definitions#and I was EXTREMELY nervous bc id never even like kissed someone fr before him#but the acid and ESPECIALLY the molly made talking about our feelings with each other really easy and safe feeling#we do it every once in a while as like a poor mans couples therapy lmfao. its much easier to be open and honest and vulnerable#while crucially taking down the defensive wall that can cause you to lash out and stuff#highly recommend 👍#wtiting a book called the couple that rolls together stays together. its about doing molly but also skateboarding#drug ed#i cant stop adding to this post im sorry
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every day I am in Agony over the fact that widomauk is the first kiss of the campaign, Caleb kissed Molly back in the very end, the literal last scene between King and Caleb is them flirting and King is still so utterly enamored with his Magician, and I just wish...there was any mention of those feelings in the wrap up or a q and a or anything. Absolutely begging Taliesin to tell us what Molly/King feels for Caleb--why he chose to make King's last moments on screen him being explicitly attracted to Caleb, and whether we will ever get to see him revisit those feelings one day...
#widomauk#it just. makes me so sad#i want to hear taliesin talk about king's feelings so bad. what caleb meant to him. why he went with That as his final scene in the campaig#and i feel like we've gotten to hear liam talk so much about caleb's unrequited feelings for jes and things like that and I just...wish#we got some sort of conversation like that from tal or liam#also the 'CALEB. SOFTNESS AND LIGHT' COMMENT THAT MOLLY HAS ABOUT HIM IN THE NOVEL. OR THE FACT LUCIEN#AND KING AND MOLLY HAVE ALL FLIRTED WITH CALEB AT SOME POINT--#caleb being the person who fought the hardest to get molly back in that final fight. how he kept reaching for him and breaking through#lucien's control#and what that means--#i dont know if i should feel silly or ridiculous for hoping we get to see taliesin address those feelings one day#but like...maybe this ship just hits different from someone who watched early c2 live and the way this ship was treated then#the episode right before molly died being so full of little adorable moments between the two. all the potential#seeing them get the first kiss of the campaign#matt even making their little minis kiss--#all the missed potential and loose ends and the feelings they never got to share#would give anything to hear taliesin talk about everything king still feels for the nein#but especially his magic man ;; —
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for the love of god someone convince me from texting my ex, i daydreamed too closr to the sun and now i want attention😭
#its not a door i should open#but idk if im crazy and i need to drop my suspicions and try again or if im really going to be right some day#and we get involved again then that person comes along and its a messy awful breakup and i just cant do that to them#but fuck i wish i could be with them#i would love them but the problem is (aside from their drinking) it would be so easy to fall in love with them#but they want long term and aside from me knowing im leaving the province soon i dont think wish how i am now id be okay with pretending#its not fair#i want to see them again#im jealous of attention they probably get and that theyve probably given#and i really hate how i was made and that i cant just go with the flow#but again drinking and dark eyes aside theyre practically perfect#i miss them so much sometimes that im actually posting more on instagram in the hopes theyll notice me again#i wonder if they think about me or if theyre too busy getting laid#cause theyre in a band so duh obviously theyre getting laid#I FUCKING HATE MY INABILITY TO BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE#ITS NOT FAIR#I HATE MY SUPERSTITIONS SO DAMN MUCH I WANT TO LET THEM GO AND BE HAPPY BUT I CANT#I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH WITH PRETTY BLUE EYES AND BIG HANDS#fuck nate was so close to perfect and i love that theyre so interesting and fuck i think id just give in if they had blue eyes#i could ignore the other problems and feel better about trying to be with them#mostly i just want them to kiss me and hug me again#they were so gentle about it and it felt so safe and i wanna cry cause i know its not fair to contact them#but fuck i wish i could#i dont want to be alone anymore and they made me laugh#i dont know what to do but i wish it was easier to at least meet people if not date them#i just want to feel something for someone new so i can feel like im over them#but sadly they work at ikea and its not even the closest one to me but i have to go there for a new mattress topper and jars#and i keep imagining running into them AND ITS FUCKING ME UP i want to talk to them but i cant do that
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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do u think learning how to play bass would get a cute guy to fall for me
#i wanna learn so bad#i have a buddy who knows how to play guitar and i asked if i should learn and he said he thinks im more of a bass guy so here we are#it just sounds fun i miss playing music#i need to learn bass clef tho. i hate bass clef. i love u treble clef <3#i spent almost ten years in treble clef and now i gotta relearn aghafakjshdfkj#horrible really#anyway someone should kiss me#mlm#mlm yearning#mlm post#mlm love#gay mlm#mlm thoughts#t4t#trans mlm#mlm blog#t4t yearning
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I want hurt/comfort Mumscarian and if I have to write it to get I will
#I’m manifesting#I’m actually hoping someone else will do it#writing is hard#i just want more mumscarian#the tag is covered in smut and I’m not in the mental state for it right now#I’m just devastated I can find what I want to read#mcyt#fanfic#hermitshipping#hermit shipping#traffic shipping#mumscarian#traffic life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#i miss them#I want them to have trauma and then kiss#mumbo deserves to be kissed sometimes too#i don’t even know
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it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.
#as someone who's default has been for the longest time to love love love not being able to give it all the time actually makes me feel#like i am missing a part of me#its the weirdest most incredibly frustrating feeling to feel just slightly off kilter every single minute of the day and knowing u have#no choice but to ignore the oddness bcoz if u poke it its gonna all come crashing down#i hate having loved someone to the point where it was more than how much i loved myself coz now i m left#picking up the pieces they chose to leave behind and not knowing how to piece it all together#and it hurtshurtshurtshurts and never lessens and i can kiss someone else and still feel like a corpse inside#bcoz theres pieces missing that i gave away and that feeling of being incomplete just wont go away#trusting someone to love me forever might have been the stupidest thing i will ever do#and on bad days i think i deserved being left for the sheer stupidity of my life choices#istfg i m never loving again until a man puts a damn ring on my finger#so unbelievably fucking done with this shit#i wanna hate him but i cant and i wanna stop loving but i wont and i wanna feel full again but i dont#tw breakup#tw heartbreak
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