#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies

[monachopism]

am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible

[unknownati]

Hello! I hope you're doing well :3

Can I get something about Ekko (headcanons, short scenario... you choose the format) with a s/o with chronic migraines? I absolutely love how you write him!! And it would be very special for me, considering that this topic is not talked about enough.

Thank you so much for your contribution to the fandom! ily byee

vi. ekko x gn!reader w/chronic migraines (hcs)

a/n: twin. I GOTCHU 😭🤝 and tysm!

i'm sorry if this isn't up to your expectations, i tried to do extra research on it (i was on r/migraine and like 3 different medical sites for a WHILE.) to make sure i repped u the best i could! please lmk if there's any inaccuracies :(

from what i read, most people's experiences were pretty similar so i tried to keep it in that middle ground.

warnings/tags: fluffy fluffy fluff, lowercase intended, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, descriptions of pain, reader gets insecure at the end (w/ comfort!), just ekko taking care of u like the gentleman he is really, i need this man

_____________________________________________

-ekko didn't quite know how to handle it when you first started getting close.

-you could tell he cared, constantly glancing over at you with worried eyes every time you rubbed your temples and took deep breaths. his hand would rest on your shoulder, and even though you brushed it off, he knew it sucked.

-you somehow managed to keep it pretty low-key until you two started dating.

-the first time he really got a glimpse into it was during a baaad week after you started dating.

-"doin' okay?" he'd murmur, kneeling down next to your duvet shielded figure. all you do is groan, sticking your hand out to find his, interlocking fingers with him.

"yeah, i guessed. brought you some meds, maybe it'll help make you feel a bit better."

he knew he was doing something right when you squeezed his hand and whispered "thank you."

it was the most grateful he's ever heard anyone sound for anything.

and even though those pain meds didn't do the best job in the world, it's the thought that counts!

-afterward, he started with peeking to see what meds you take, constantly keeping them restocked for you. he thinks you don't know he's the one sneaking them into your bag, your cabinet, on your nightstand, etc. you know. there's only one person in your life who you know would leave spray paint stains on the little bottles.

-he'd make sure to keep areas he knows you mainly hung around much dimmer. buys you blackout curtains and figures out how to make controlled light bulbs for you that can be dimmer or brighter as you needed.

-he carries a shocking amount of stuff on him. boom, canteen of water! boom, snacks! boom, painkillers! woah, what's that? ICE PACK! check behind your ears? holy shit it's a heating pad.

-one thing though; as much as he cares for you, he won't baby you. he knows just how capable you are of doing things...he will, however, give you major royal treatment. you will be getting that shoulder massage 🙏🏾

-during days where your migraines are less brutal, he just keeps an eye out for you. makes sure stay hydrated and well fed.

-he does your chores for you during those extended periods, tearing his gloves off to stick his hands into your pile of dishes and clean them up for you. when you shuffle downstairs later in the day to put a cup in there, you find a small little note in front of your now cleared sink.

'hope i could lighten your load (get it) ♡ - e'

-and it was such a stupid joke that almost didn't make sense but you'd be lying if you said you didn't smile wide as fuck when you read it.

-during the extended periods of your migraine attacks, when you're just in bed, he brings you literally anything and everything.

-when you wake up from a nap you can almost always find him cuddled close to you, drool pooling into your pillow.

-and he does not mind leaving where you are just for you to go get some peace and quiet.

-it hits you like a train when you're out with him and a few of his friends. the stinging, pulsing cluster of pain forming behind your eye made you groan. "fuck, baby 'm sorry my head is just...killing me."

"hey guys, we're gonna head out, okay?"

"what? no, you don't have to leave, i can just—"

he flashes you what is the most loving glare you've ever seen and just gets up, ushering you along with him. silence fills the walk back between the lanes, gravel and wrappers crunching beneath your boots.

"i'm sorry." you murmur, smoothing your fingers across the arch of your brow. the way he looks at you when the words leave your mouth made you think he was offended by them.

"why are you apologizing?"

"i just...don't want you to always have to stop enjoying yourself just for me."

"nah, don't say that. it doesn't bother me. plus, it means i get to go home and chill out with you more often, i'm fine with that."

"yeah, but what if i'm just too much? what if you get sick of...doing all this?"

he scoffs, pulling his glove off and stopping you from walking so he can raise your chin, looking at you with eyes so determined but so gentle. his thumb swipes between your brows, making you relax them. "you're never gonna be too much for me. and i won't. ever."

-and trust me.

-he doesn't.

[hubbvrd]

Love letter | Quinn Hughes

summary — in which quinn is in love with y/n the social media worker for the canucks.

pairing — quinn hughes x reader

words — 2955

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You couldn't choose who you fell in love with.

It usually happened so quickly that you hardly noticed and couldn't do anything about it.

It was actually a nice feeling to be in love. You had the feeling that the world suddenly became carefree and you walked around with a good feeling.

You were happy to see the person again and to be near them, while the warmth shot up your cheeks and your stomach tingled.

That's exactly how Quinn felt at the moment. He was in love.

A few weeks ago, he had fallen in love with the young woman y/n, who worked in social media for the Canucks.

In a joint video, in which the young woman had asked him countless questions to create content for the Canucks fans, the two of them had had a lot of fun and occasionally got a little closer to each other, so that the odd physical contact was inevitable.

Since then, Quinn had been thinking about the young woman almost constantly.

His teammates Elias and Brock would often catch him looking over at the young woman during training, who would take photos or videos and then post them on social media channels.

This was the case again today. Practice was in full swing as Quinn gripped his racket tighter and scanned the ice ring for the woman who was turning his head.

It took him a few seconds to spot her. She was standing there with a young man Quinn had only glimpsed so far and seemed to be laughing happily about something.

Every now and then, the stranger would touch her, causing Quinn to unconsciously tighten his grip on his bat and his eyebrows to furrow slightly.

"Hey man, you're staring again." Elias came to stand next to Quinn on the ice, so Quinn saw Elias adjusting his helmet out of the corner of his eye.

Quinn knew he didn't need to give Elias an excuse, because his best friend knew about the young woman and Quinn's feelings.

A few days ago, Elias had caught Quinn staring and then confronted him, but Quinn had folded not long after and told Elias everything.

After all, there were no secrets between the two best friends.

"You should finally ask her out."

Now Elias stood in front of Quinn so that he could no longer look over at the woman who had taken a liking to him.

"Elias, I-I..." Quinn began to give his team colleague another excuse, as he had done the last few times.

But he raised his gloved hand to indicate Quinn should be quiet.

As Elias began to speak, he gave the captain a serious look.

"Quinn, you have a different excuse every time. I can see how smitten you are. But the longer you hesitate, the less chance you have. I hate to say it, but I guess that guy over there is trying to get to her himself."

With a nod, Elias gestured over to the young woman and the red-haired man, who had come a little closer to her and kept grabbing her by the arm.

From a distance, Quinn couldn't interpret the expression on the young woman's face, as she was standing with half her back to him.

"And how am I supposed to do that? Just run over and pull her away from the redhead?"

A nervous expression formed on Quinn's face. The thought of simply walking over to her and approaching her made him start to sweat.

He wasn't good at approaching women, so the thought of talking to the young woman made him want to flee.

"That's actually how you do it, yes. But I have another idea." A grin formed on Elias's face as he stepped a little closer to Quinn and then whispered something in his best friend's ear.

And this idea appealed to Quinn so much that he decided to put it into practice.

"Good morning" a smile came to your lips as you greeted your colleagues and then slipped inside.

"Good morning, y/n! Good to see you." One of your colleagues, Lucy, ran up to you beaming and then pulled you into a tight hug.

Ever since you'd taken the social media job with the Canucks, Lucy and you had become instant friends.

Since then, you've been more or less inseparable. Lucy also worked for the social media team.

She usually took over the press conferences or was there for the post-match interviews, while you took care of the social media channels and shot the occasional content video.

The brunette put her arm around you as you walked side by side through the building to the small office where you had made yourselves comfortable.

The office wasn't very big, so only two desks fitted in opposite each other and two small, cozy armchairs had found their place at the other end of the wall.

Despite their small size, you loved the office more than anything, even if you spent more time on the road than in the office.

"What's on your agenda today?" You checked in with your colleague and best friend as you opened your office door and slipped into the light blue room.

On the wall behind your desk was a huge Canucks logo painted on the wall, while on the other blue-painted walls were some pictures of the team that you had taken yourself.

"I've actually just got some paperwork today and need to make a few phone calls for upcoming interviews, you?" Lucy dropped into her desk chair while you carelessly threw your jacket onto one of the chairs and then walked over to your desk.

Before you could even begin to reply, a white envelope lying on your desk caught his attention.

It wasn't unusual for you to receive mail in the morning, but this letter was different to the mail you usually received.

You could feel that directly. Slowly, you walked over to your desk as you answered Lucy curtly.

You didn't want your colleague to get suspicious.

Your name was written on the letter in curved handwriting. There was no sender or indication of where it might have come from.

This led you to conclude that this was a personal letter.

Your curiosity grew as you began to examine the letter, but made no attempt to open it.

Who wrote you a letter?

You carefully picked up the letter. It was quite light and you could feel a note through the thin envelope.

"Who did you get mail from?" You suddenly heard Lucy's voice, who had more or less caught you in the act.

"Oh, just from a customer, nothing important," you babbled and opened a drawer in your desk to carefully put the letter inside.

Your curiosity wouldn't diminish over the next hour, but you wanted to read the letter in peace and quiet, so you had to wait until Lucy left the office and you could finally be undisturbed.

But you didn't know how agonizingly slow the time would be until then.

Four agonizingly long hours passed before Lucy finally made the effort to leave your shared office to have a conversation.

After the door had slammed shut behind Lucy, you jerked out the letter, which you carefully opened and pulled out the neatly folded paper with your heart beating faster.

With trembling fingers and increasing nervousness, you unfolded the paper before placing it on the desk in front of you and began to read.

Dear y/n,

I keep looking at you, but can't touch you.

You don't know, how much l want to. want to be near you, want you to look my way.

A moment alone with you, would be beautiful. A moment alone with you, would feel eternal.

You skimmed over the words again and again. Your heart kept leaping in your chest as you read them.

You had never received such words before. In the past, you had always found it very cheesy when your friends told you that they had received love letters or wrote them themselves.

But now that you had your first love letter in front of you, it warmed your heart.

It was really sweet to read these words that were addressed directly to you.

You didn't know who this letter was from, but you wished it was a special person.

This one particular player called Quinn Hughes.

The first time you had made a video with him for social media, you had immediately noticed how well you Both got on and you had even gotten a little closer to each other at times.

Since then, you've often thought about the captain and occasionally caught yourself looking over at him and staring at him for a few seconds, lost in thought.

But what if the letter wasn't from Quinn at all, but from Alex? Alex had been very close to you recently and you had caught him looking for physical contact again and again.

Alex was a really nice young man, but you just wasn't attracted to him.

The thought that the letter could be from Alex made your face contort slightly and you put the letter aside.

Your fingers reached for the envelope, which you began to shake and shortly afterwards a small Post it note in the shape of a heart fell out.

You had completely overlooked the post it so far, so you reached for the pink note with a pounding heart and turned it over to reveal the writing.

If you're brave enough to find out who I am, meet me in the parking lot at 7 tonight.

Once again, no signature under the message. There wasn't even a single letter that would have given you any idea who had written you this sweet letter.

Your heart was almost pounding against your chest as you glanced at the bottom of my computer screen to see what time it was.

By now it was 6:30pm and so you still had some time before you would meet the unknown love letter writer.

Nervously, you started to slide around a bit on the black office chair.

You were really curious to find out who was behind the sweet lines.

But even though the message was really sweet, you were afraid that it might just be a joke.

After all, the Canucks boys had the occasional challenge and banter amongst themselves.

But had you really become one of her victims? With the best will in the world you couldn't really imagine that, as everyone was incredibly nice to you and treated you as if you'd been part of the team for ages.

Of course, you never know what makes other people tick and even though you couldn't imagine for the life of you that this letter was just a joke, you decided to be careful.

But despite all this, you wanted to know who was behind the letter and so you decided to go to the place where it was said and find out who it was.

Your heart beat a little faster against your chest with excitement and nervousness.

You hadn't mentioned the letter to Lucy once, so you had to come up with an excuse to more or less get rid of Lucy at the end of the working day an hour ago, as she was desperate to have a drink with you.

The last hour that you had spent alone in your office had gone by rather agonizingly slowly, even though you had already prepared a post or two for the next few days on social media.

But now it was time to find out who had written you the letter.

With every step you took closer to the parking lot, your heart began to beat faster and faster, making you feel like it could jump out of your chest at any second.

You buried your hands, which had become sweaty again, deeper into your jacket pockets, where your right hand played with your bunch of keys.

You were incredibly nervous, so your hand needed something to do and you were a little more distracted.

When you arrived at the parking lot, your eyes wandered nervously back and forth.

In addition to your car, there were four other cars in the parking lot, but you couldn't identify their owners.

Since you didn't know exactly where to wait in the not-so-small parking lot, you positioned yourself a little more centrally in the large parking lot so that the unknown person could easily spot you.

A glance at your cell phone display showed that it was still five minutes until 7 pm.

You used the time to take a few more deep breaths and try to calm yourself down as best you could.

Luckily, it wasn't a dark time of year, so you didn't have to be afraid of the parking lot, which was usually only dimly lit by a few lanterns in winter.

Although the weather was pretty gloomy today and the clouds were increasing, it was bright enough that you had a good view of all the creepy corners and only had to run a few meters to your car if necessary.

Your eyes scanned your surroundings and every time footsteps came closer, you looked hopefully in the direction they were coming from.

But none of them paid any attention to you and shortly afterwards, all but one of the other cars pulled away.

So the last car, which was not too far away from yours, had to be the car of the man who had written you the letter.

A few more minutes passed, during which the nervousness began to creep up inside you again.

And then suddenly the time had come.

From a distance, you could recognize someone. The person was wearing a dark blue hoodie that clearly stood out.

His hood was pulled over his head and his gaze was slightly lowered, so you couldn't tell who it was yet.

On his shoulder was a sports bag, on which you could see the Canucks logo from a distance.

So it was a player, you thought, as the stranger came closer and closer to you and your nervousness grew so much that your heart began to pound in your chest again.

He seemed to be moving in slow motion and took forever to get to you, so you started moving without thinking twice and ran towards him.

When the two of you finally came face to face, the stranger slowly lifted his head and pulled the hood off his head, revealing thick brown hair.

And your heart literally skipped a beat as you struggled not to clasp your hands over your mouth.

Because standing in front of you was none other than Quinn Hughes.

The man you had gotten a little closer to some time ago.

The man you got on well with straight away.

The man who made you laugh.

The man you couldn't stop thinking about.

"Quinn..." His name left your mouth in an almost whisper.

The person opposite you nodded in response, a shy smile on his lips and he began to clutch the handle of his sports bag like a lifeline.

Suddenly he seemed so shy and embarrassed. Very different from your video shoot.

He cleared his throat. "Hello, y/n."

"The...the letter...it's from you?" To be on the safe side, you checked again. There was a little fear in your voice because you wanted the letter to be from him.

"Yes, I wrote the letter."

Embarrassed, Quinn looked at you and ran his free hand through his thick hair, brushing a few strands that had fallen into his eyes out of his face.

"Wow...I mean...those words really touched me" You babbled on, which made Quinn's cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Really?" he asked hopefully. He couldn't seem to believe that you were reacting so positively.

You began to nod eagerly.  "Yes, really!" 

Quinn began to almost beam and seemed to spend some time searching for the right words, which made you slightly nervous.

"I'm not really good at talking, that's why Elias gave me the idea of the letter. I thought you thought this was just a joke and you weren't even going to show up, but I'm really relieved you're here."

Now it was Quinn who was babbling nervously as his left hand moved to the back of his neck, where he began to scratch himself in embarrassment.

"Really? I thought it was a joke too, since the name wasn't signed. But I was too curious and wanted to see who was here."

A nervous laugh leaves your lips, causing Quinn to start laughing as well.

"Wow...that's really something."

Quinn smirked slightly before gathering all his courage and finally the sentences he would have loved to ask you already left his mouth.

"Y/n I know this might be risky because you work for the same team as me. I don't know exactly what the contracts and agreement are here, but I think you realize there's something between us too, don't you? Would you...would you go out with me?"

His eyes looked at you with an almost hopeful expression, while your heart stumbled again and you began to feel the warmth rush to your cheeks.

And it actually didn't take you long to give Quinn a suitable answer.

Because the answer has been on the tip of your tongue for a long time and you were finally able to say it out loud.

"I would love to go on a date with you, Quinn."

[mannequinreligi0n]

Kinda I Want To

vergil gets pegged, that’s it

pairing: vergil x reader

wc: 2k

warnings: nsfw! - pegging, male receiving

author’s note: it’s my birthday today :D as a present, pls accept vergil riding the strap - enjoy !

It took Vergil almost two weeks to muster up the courage to ask you for what he wanted. Every single day, he’d open your shared closet to fish out clothes, only to have the bag at the bottom of the closet taunt him. He knew it was silly to be nervous - you were his partner of two years, who had seen him in every imaginable way. But the thought of physically voicing his wants, especially something so selfish, made Vergil’s heart rate abnormally spike.

He found you in the bathroom, freshly showered and getting dressed to leave for work. All thought momentarily slipped his mind as soon as he walked in, stormy blues hyper-focued on your hands tugging at the button to your jeans.

“Vergil? Did you need something, honey?”

Your voice snaps his attention back and he centers it on your face instead, his own fingers clenching around the sides of his pajama bottoms. It was too much - his chest felt tighter and his sweaty palms shook at his side. Why was he so scared? What if you said no? He wouldn’t be able to live with the embarrassment. He would have to move out, fly to a new state. Maybe change his name. Sell his car, close his bank account, start a new-

“Helloooo? Earth to Vergil?” You tilted your head with a short chuckle, stepping up to him and pinching his cheek. Vergil blinked hard at you and jolted slightly from the physical contact, his anxious train of thought halting.

“I-, sorry…..I…I….have a re-request…for when you get home,” he finally mumbles out, clearing his throat after and fixing his posture to seem more sure of himself.

“Okay,” you shrug gently and drop your hand from his face, nodding softly. “Ask away.”

“The…I want…I wish to-…eereuuggh! Dammit, woman!” Vergil turns away his head from you, face firetruck red as he mutters frustratedly to himself. He takes a harsh deep breath before squeezing his eyes shut, the words jumbled together. “Iwantthestrapagain. There, I said it.”

There was a moment of silence before you shrugged again and stepped away from him, collecting some things from the bathroom counter. “Yeah, alright,” you finally reply, making a face of indifference. “I’ll be home after 6.”

“That’s it?” Vergil scowls down at you, a look of offense plastered on his features. He just voiced his deepest desire, and you’re treating it like he asked you to pick up bread on the way home. It was both insulting and baffling to him.

“Yes, that’s it. Now, excuse me, I’m gonna be late,” you chirp out, hopping up to peck a kiss on his lips before sliding past him to leave. Vergil remained frozen in place, looking around the bathroom in confusion. He couldn’t believe you agreed so easily, no convincing needed. He had built up a whole case in defense of his claim, and you agreed without even questioning him, as if it was a given.

God, he loved you so much.

——————

Vergil paced around the house for hours, occupying himself with cleaning or mindless tv as the time drone by. How could he be normal when as soon as you got home, you were gonna have him bent over into the duvet? He found himself looming over the bag in the closet, hands reaching down for it with anxious fingers. The strap was disassembled, the leather harness detached from the 8 incher. Just feeling the leather against his skin brought back memories of the first time - his large hands digging into your hips as you fucked into him, legs pretzel folded to his chest. He couldn’t wait - he needed to feel it, to be reminded of that full feeling he craved.

Fuck it.

Vergil tossed the bag into the queen sized bed and waltzed into the bathroom to prep.

———————

When you got home, Vergil was passed out on your shared bed, snoring faintly as a blanket haphazardly covered his bare form. You thought nothing of it til you caught a glimpse of your harness discarded on the floor and its attachment on the other side of the bed. Walking over and picking it up, you stifle a laugh as you swat Vergil’s arm with it, the silicone bouncing off his arm with a comical ‘slap’. With a groan, Vergil sits up groggily and rubs at his eyes.

“What is this?” You hold up the slicked dildo at Vergil with an accusatory glare, fighting back a smile.

“I, um-,” Vergil stared at your hand with guilt, hair sticking up and pillow lines on his face from his nap. He knew he shouldn’t have been so hasty, so greedy, but the strap had personally mocked him. How was he supposed to wait til you got home? “……I couldn’t wait,” he finally murmurs out sheepishly, pulling the covers better over himself as if preparing to be scolded.

“Couldn’t wait, huh?”

Vergil watches you like a hawk as you set down the dildo and walk around the bed to collect the harness from the ground to reattach the two pieces. You slip off your clothing, kicking them away, and fasten the harness to your hips, the leather straps making snug impressions against your skin.

“You wanna show me what you did while I was gone?” You ask, tilting your head at him with an endeared smile, not a hint of anger on your face. Vergil blinked at you dumbly, expecting to have been punished for his selfish act, but remembered himself and scrambled off the bed, nearly taking a dive to the ground as his lanky legs tangled in the duvet. He stands upright and gestures to the bed with a goofy smile, chest huffing with excited breaths. His eyes follow you as you climb onto the bed, heading up to lean against the headboard. He waited until you patted your lap to crawl up to you, exposed cock half-hard and leaning to the side as he hovers over you. Swallowing back the nervous pool of saliva in his mouth, he leans down and kisses you tenderly, puffs of air brushing your face as your noses collide. You’re the first to break the kiss, pressing a few chaste pecks around his mouth before speaking.

“Ready? Or do you need time?”

“Ready,” Vergil murmurs against your cheek, strands of silver hair tickling your forehead as he nods. He wiggles his large form above you, getting into position but also keeping most of his weight off of you to not crush you into the mattress. One hand curls around the headboard whilst the other clings to your shoulder, fingers flexing against your skin.

“Go ahead, honey,” you whisper, looking up at him with what Vergil could only discern as pride, “take what you want.”

Vergil lets out a shaky chuckle and nods again before positioning the tip of the strap to his hole. He slides down halfway with a muffled grunt, brow knit together and teeth biting down on his puffy lower lip. His eyes flutter shut for a few beats as he adjusts to the stretch before reopening them, blue irises searching your own eyes for reassurance. A steady hand wraps around his twitching length, pumping him slowly with an affirming nod of your head. Vergil gasps at the contact, blunt fingernails digging into your shoulder as he juts toward hand, making the strap glide into him. The strap is fully sheathes into him and Vergil’s jaw goes slack as he ruts against your palm, the combination of your slicked hand and the fullness of the strap making every coherent thought leave him completely.

With several concentrated breaths, Vergil gathers himself and lifts his hips slightly to start riding you, thighs tight around your sides. He grabs your hand from his sensitive cock, choosing to entwine your fingers together and keep your hand away from him so he doesn’t come prematurely. His hand squeezes yours tightly as he rolls his pelvis up and down, the head of the dildo rubbing into his g-spot repeatedly every time he takes it all the way back in.

“Look at you…so pretty for me,” you coo in a hushed tone, eyes focused on the blissful expression on his usually stern face. Vergil smiles bashfully, sharp canines flashing you before a moan twists his face, making his head lull back with heavy breaths.

“I’m-…I’m doing good?” Vergil peeks his eyes open to you as he musters the strength to lift his head, a faint pout on his mouth. He kind of hated how pathetic he looked right now, vulnerable and seeking validation, but you never judged him, never made him feel ashamed or unsafe. As much as he loved being stuffed by you (even if artificially), he loved the connection it brought immensely more. As long as you were there, it made all of it enjoyable and worth it.

“You’re doing wonderfully, my sweet boy,” you murmur back to him, reaching up with your free hand to cup his face. Vergil sighs out a whimper and leans further into your hand, nuzzling the smooth, warm fingers against his skin. That’s all the permission he needs to keep going, eyelids slipping back down as he quickens his pace. Vergil shifts his weight to his knees and rides up and down, up and down again, every pass drawing out a weak groan or choked whimper. You watch in awe as your lover fucks himself into elysium, his face dusted red from effort. Vergil starts to slow slightly as his breathing picks up, thighs trembling around you, and you decide to help him out a bit, matching his steady bounces with thrusts of your own. The headboard rattles as he keeps his grip firm around the metal frame, head slumped forward and drool forming on his lip as he halts above you to let your hips do the work. His eyelids flutter and he drops your hand to return it to your shoulder for stability.

“There, there..” he whines to you lamely, the saliva sputtering on his lip and forming a string down to your cheek. In any other scenario, you’d wipe it away with mock disgust or tease him for it, but holy hell, he looks like an angel right now - cheeks cherub pink, lips swollen from biting them, eyes rolled back into his head. It was a vision of heaven, and you refused to sour it. Your hand now free, you reach back over to his leaking cock, slicking your hand with precum and stroking it in time to your thrusts into him. Vergil mewls at the contact, pout deepening as incoherent whispers escape him. It only takes a few more passes of your hand before he whimpers out a limp, late warning, white and sticky seed spurting out of his tip. He sits back onto the strap, pelvis pathetically twitching into your hand as cum drips down your fingers and his abdomen. Slowing your hips to a stop, you brush your hand on his face through his hair and lick your other hand clean, watching him catch his breath.

Vergil’s eyes slowly creak open and he catches sight of you sucking your digits free of his seed, making his tired cock twitch in his lap. He growls out a faint ‘mine’ and swipes your hand your mouth, suctioning his mouth to three of your fingers, moaning at the heady taste. You only chuckle in return, a fond smile gracing your face as you watch in delight.

“Satisfied?” You ask cheekily, pulling your hand from his mouth.

Vergil frowns as you pull away from him, opting to hold your hand again instead to maintain contact. “I want more,” he pouts, shifting his weight on your lap.

“More? You’re so spoiled,” you laugh warmly, pinching his side with your free hand. “Alright, you devil, hands and knees for me.”

He perks up at the command, crouching over to kiss you briefly before emptying himself of the strap with a groan, crawling to the center of the bed to position himself for you.

[cherriegyuu]

[2:08] glimpse of us

Seungcheol runs up the stairs, out of breath. There’s no military or gym training in the world that can prepare someone to run up 8 flights of stairs and he shouldn’t have done it to begin with. There were elevators but neither was there when he entered the building so he had the bright of just taking the stairs. 

The truth was, he was nervous. So incredibly so that staying in place waiting for the elevator to come back seemed too much, it was physically impossible for him just to stay put. The car ride had been a nightmare, his leg jumping up and down to the point his manager had to tell him to stop because “you’re shaking the entire car”.

He thought about his decision a lot, for months that was all he did. Thinking and taking no action at all. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he just couldn’t. 

Breaking up with you had been one of the hardest things he had ever done and what made it worse was the fact that you understood what he said. You understood why he was breaking up with you. Seungcheol would have rather you just screamed at him, hit him, lash out at him, or anything to show anger. He had promised you the world, everything he could, everything he had, and yet there he was taking it all back. 

He had watched, in complete despair, as tears ran down your face, your eyes seeming lost, focused on the window behind him, as you took in everything he had said. When Seungcheol was done talking you finally looked back at him. Your eyes glistened with tears, your cheeks stained with them. You blinked at him a few times as if trying to get something back in place, to get your thoughts in order. Collect them, somehow.

“I understand, Seventeen always comes first”

It was something he said many times. That was his job, to protect his members at all costs. Even at the expense of himself and his life. 

That was the last thing you said directly at him. And you managed to avoid him so well. In events both of you had to attend, he only saw glimpses of you. If there was a camera to his face, or yours, he couldn’t just look at you like he wanted, when you were performing all he could do was nod once or twice. If you happened to pass by him or his members, all you’d do was say a polite “hello” and bow your head. 

His heart broke every single time and he knew yours wasn’t doing much better either. Seungcheol knew you, he knew your tells, even as you did your best to control all of your emotions. 

That happened two and a half years before. Seungcheol had gone on tour and then enlisted, as planned. And every single day his heart had longed only for you. 

Maybe he was reading too much into it, maybe he was just projecting his own feelings in the thing he saw — or thought that he saw—, but Seungcheol was sure that you still felt the same way about him. If not the same then something still very similar. He knew it from the lyrics you wrote, and the things you said in interviews. 

“The color red hunts me, I think” you said once, laughing. 

Maybe he was projecting, yes, but there was also a chance that he may be right. And that was a chance he was willing to take, even if it turned sour the second he knocked on your door.

He did his best to pull the air back into his lungs in five seconds before finally knocking on the door. Seungcheol wasn’t even sure you were home, he just went there in hopes of finding you. 

It took you almost an entire minute to get to the door. Seungcheol didn’t want to get his hopes up, logically he knew that two and half years is a very long time and you could have been with someone else, or could just not want anything to do with him. But seeing you in a shirt he had left behind ignited a new spark of confidence in him.

“What are you doing here?” you said. 

It was hard to believe that he was actually there, truly in front of you, still in his uniform. You had seen on the news that he was bound to be discharged any day now but the precise one was kept a secret from the fans and thus everyone else. 

The last thing you expected was to see him on your door, in the same uniform every had gone crazy over. He looked taller, somehow, his shoulders wider than they used to be. It was something you knew was bound to happen to see it, in front of your very eyes was on your bucket list after the breakup.

“I need to ask you two questions,” he said.

You crossed your arms over your chest when you realized he had been looking at your shirt. His shirt, actually. You had managed to get rid of many of his things that had been left behind, that shirt wasn’t one of them. At first, it was because it smelled like him, it was a source of comfort when your heart was breaking time and time again. His perfume had disappeared a long time ago but still, there was no way to get rid of it. 

“Are you dating someone right now?”

Seungcheol opened and closed his fists, waiting for your answer. He didn’t know, had no idea, that he would get that nervous around you again. It was like when he first asked you out but so much worse because now he was trying to make amends. 

“That’s hardly any of your business,” you said, voice tired “but no, I’m not”

You sighed and ran a hand over your face. 

“Do you still love me?” his tone was almost desperate.

He knew that whichever your answer was, it would change his entire life. He would either be over the moon or your words would seal the nails on the coffin. 

“Seungcheol, why are you doing this?” your voice was barely a whisper. 

The last thing he wanted was to see you cry because of him, again. It was like that day, in his apartment all those years before, crushing his heart once more.  Instead of waiting for your answer, Seungcheol took the two steps separating you. He held your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours once again, to make sure that he wasn’t crossing any lines, that you too wanted that.

You sighed into him the moment his lips pressed over yours, your arms going around his waist, pulling him closer to you. Two and half years and nothing had changed.

“I do, I still do”

taglist: @wonwooz1, @ryuwonieebae, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, mhlsymlysn, @swinterr, @immabecreepin, @uniq-tastic, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @byunparklimchoi, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @ignoretheskies, @roguesthetic, @sofix-hc7, @scarlet789, @moonlightgrleric, @r6njunlv, @mixling-blog, @cinnamongirl127, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @manutuankim, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @sukiscones, @plumings, @shuasdrafts, @aaasia111111, @bouclesdefeu, @dreamsbloomout

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[certifiedfreec]

i feel like there would be some subtle signs that könig took an interest in you…

- sometimes he likes to watch you struggle with what little height you have to reach up for the top shelves in the kitchen on base. poor thing, it looks like you need some help from a big, strong, super tall man :( he chuckles a little before stepping in to grab what you needed, but not before playfully dangling it high up over your head to watch you jump for it. “hah, you look like a katze right now.”

- this man eats like a motherfucker. if he even offers to share food with you, that’s basically his way of proposing. you said yes once, and now he’s bringing you snacks all the time before you even have to ask. he wants to feed you, make sure you’re nourished before and after missions- just let the big guy dote on you!

- he doesn’t say much, but it’s because he doesn’t need to; his presence does all the talking. all of kortac went out to a dingy bar one night, and you better believe you were the safest person in the room with all 6-foot-something of him staying close behind you. one glowering look from him is all it takes to get someone to back off- no one touches his precious little katze.

i feel like there would be some subtle signs that gaz took an interest in you…

- he’ll FaceTime you randomly from wherever he is, whether he’s in a safehouse or on the other side of the base. he just likes to get a glimpse of your face whenever he can :’) if he can’t video call you then he’s spamming you with memes that he saw; he knows exactly how to make you laugh.

- you were talking about your favorite food one day, and somehow by total coincidence he cooked it in the base kitchen a few days later! and how convenient, he over-estimated the ingredients and ended up fixing enough for two people! he just might need your help with finishing it ;) he’s already thinking about what to have for dessert…

- he’s a fantastic listener, always letting you vent to him when a new recruit pisses you off or when you’re unhappy with how the latest mission went. he hates seeing you so upset, wishing he could take all your irritations away :( he always stops himself just before can suggest some not-so-fraternization-policy-friendly ways of helping you relieve that stress :’)

i feel like there would be some subtle signs that soap took an interest in you…

- he always notices whenever you use a different body wash or fragrance, and he’ll be the first ask you what the new scent is. no one else really detects it the way he does, but he pays so much attention to you that he can’t help it. he also can’t help but want his sheets to smell like you too <3

- he insists on taking selfies with you wherever you’re on missions together. suddenly it’s a thing, and now you’re taking them together all the time when you’re off base. you think it’s a fun way to document all the places you travel to, but to him it’s the perfect excuse to have some pictures of your pretty face on his phone :’)

- he likes to initiate all kinds of competitions with you during missions- who can reload their weapon the fastest, who can shoot from the furthest distance, etc. it’s honestly kinda hot seeing you get so focused. his wagers start out fairly normal, but if you’re game then he definitely ups the ante. maybe the winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser…you’d never noticed him training so much before ;)

i feel like there would be some subtle signs that price took an interest in you…

- he’s always nearby when you’re training on the shooting range, readily available to critique your aim and give you some pointers. does this involve standing suuuuper close and physically moving your arms and feet to fix your position? with him, it always does <3

- this man stares you down during debriefings. it’s like you become his focal point- he’ll glance at the others every once in a while, but his gaze always settles back on you. he just thinks you look so adorable all focused and serious while he’s talking!

- one night you were outside after a mission, and he was puffing on a cigar from his prized collection. he was asking you about the operation, wanting to know how you felt about it before casually handing the cigar to you- how could you refuse your captain? you’d never touched one of those before so you coughed and sputtered after taking a pitiful puff (it was like an indirect kiss, too!!) and he chuckled amusedly at you. “looks like you need some more practice. i can help with that.”

[hearthwrm]

𝒜 Collection of My Favorite Vocals From Yeosang

As a firm Yeosang bias, I decided to share my favorite collection of moments where Yeosang's vocals shine. I was going to share this for his birthday, but I think I would rather take a dive into the fashion they dress him in. So, I will—with hope—be working on that in the future. Truthfully, it is a shame that KQ Entertainment gives him so few lines. I won't wonder or speculate as to why that is, as I find it can be quite the intense topic for some fans. I will say that I am anxiously awaiting his birthday, so we may get more glimpses of his vocals. Hopefully, anyhow .. ♡

BLOOMING DAY

I urge anyone to watch the video (provided here) in full, as his stage presence is the aspect that enamored me the most with this performance. Not only his, but of the group as a whole. If someone told me they were an official group, I would believe them. I find that Yeosang plays soft roles in a manner that comes across as very genuine and bright (also seen in the "I Like You" performance here). One aspect I don't see people acknowledge about Yeosang is just how easily he seems to click with others when performing. In this case, Xiaojun and Hyeongseop. While, yes, that may mean he takes a back seat mostly when groups are bigger than three, he harmonizes with others in a seamless way. Which makes it to me obvious as to why a lot of companies would want him. He comes across as reliable. Professional.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:14 – 2:20 min.

INTO THE NEW WORLD

I will preface by saying that Jongho was the one that distributed the lines in this performance. Is it selfish to say I would wish he could be in charge of such a thing? Perhaps it is because of his very… vigorous vocal training in his youth, but his ear for others' vocals is delightful. Not only that, but the way he made every member shine is so heart-touching. Yeosang had a small dance intermission, and all three shared the center with their own sections of solos. I am thankful to the ATINYs who captured this moment and uploaded it for us to watch (please spare them a view, here and here). I used the former for this audio clip, it would be my hope for everyone to give the original posters some love. Unrelated, but do Jongho, Yeosang, and Wooyoung have a name? I was searching for one to place in the artist category, but found none. So, I placed ATEEZ even when the eight members aren't physically there. As I feel it still fits.

Personal Favorite Section: 1:08 – 1:43 min.

ONLY THEN¹

According to a commenter on the video on YouTube, Yeosang had this to say about this specific cover:

“This is when later~

Of course, it's much later. Just long after when I, someday in the future, have to part ways with ATINYs. [through the song I want to say] That right now, instead of worrying about it and having those thoughts, it's something that we'll see to at that time. In the present, I like you, and you like me, too. So, let's live happily!”

Is this true? I don't know. I would think most of this information—if true—would either have been said in a VLIVE, fromm chat, Universe, or another Korean-based app that I cannot get my non-Korean (cough, broke) hands upon. Then, if said information was shared, it was probably done so on Twitter which... I don't have. If anyone has any basis to this, I would be more than happy to add a source! Still, I think it's a nice thought. Even if it did not come from his mouth. It also fits into the narrative if you take into consideration the song that follow this one. Which is a cover of "Don't Forget About Me" by Chris James.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:50 – 3:36 min.

TO MY YOUTH²

Have I cried to this cover? Yes, and I am not ashamed to say so. This is just my interpretation of Yeosang (that is his persona, not his person), but I always felt he had this sort of bright melancholy to him. By this I mean there's this bittersweetness of youth that clings to his aura. It reminds me of lemon tarts. Which, as you may have guessed, is why this post is all sort of shades and tints of yellow. Brushing past that, however, I think that this cover shows a subtle stroke of his range. He can do deep ranges—portray the drums of a revolution in HALAZIA or a bone-deep thrill as seen in Dune—but it's hard to portray authentic tenderness. I listened to the original by BOL4 (Bolbbalgan4), and her voice brims with authenticity. The thing, however, is that with the original, there's this crescendo at the end. Akin to screaming on top of a coastal cliff. With Yeosang, there is none of that. It remains contained in oneself. It reminds me of squeezing a fruit too hard. Cathartic for a second, but once you look down at your hands, you realize everything is still a mess.

Personal Favorite Section: 2:55 – 3:17 min.

With this, we conclude this very long post. Hopefully, to those that have made it this far, you have enjoyed this small journey. This took me… much longer than I thought it would .. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

I tried to make most of them .mp3 files so, hopefully, everyone can listen to them!

FOOTNOTES:

¹ This song is part of an unlisted playlist (which can be found here). Why is it unlisted? I believe KQ Entertainment did so because the QR code in Yeosang's birthday photobook redirected to this playlist.

² To note is that this is a special clip that can be found on YouTube, yet it also is the first song in the array of covers he did for his "The Middle of June" photobook previously mentioned.

[bunbundubdub]

Below The Belt - Caleb Chapter 1

At this point I should make the phrase 'this story kinda turned out far longer than planned' my catchphrase because oopsie it happened once again. Happy reading! TW: Caleb being pent up and desperate, dry humping to completion, inexperienced idiots in love, Caleb is a virgin, biting, grabbing hard enough to bruise ------------------------------

That Caleb loved you with every atom of his being was a fact that no one could deny. While his recent career change had turned him into a sharper, ruthless man when it came to his subordinates, not to mention his enemies, once your name was spoken, it was as if the sun broke through the endless clouds.

With you he was always so incredibly gentle, most of those who knew him now wouldn't believe that this puppy of a man was the same no nonsense Colonel they were used to.

And this gentleness translated into the bedroom just as much. At least for the time being. For the longest time even his biggest desire was sated just by you saying his name with that voice reserved just for him.

His heart threatened to beat out of his chest when you first gave him an embrace, something you didn't give a second thought, just so happy that he finally won you that plushie you wanted to much that you couldn't help but throw your arms around his neck and squeeze him until he could barely breathe.

He still remembered your faint scent that clung to his shirt all day.

Then you kissed him and he thought his time had come, that someone had decided to end his miserable existence and allow him to pass through the pearly gates at last. But as he opened his eyes again, there you were, cheeks flushed, eyes wide and grinning like the idiot in love that you were.

He in turn looked at you like he had just had the epiphany of a lifetime. Like he had just gotten the answers to all the questions he could ever ask and more still. Then he took his chance and kissed you back.

Where your kiss had been gentle and careful, a cautious testing of the waters so to speak, his was hungry, demanding and overwhelming all at once. His hands that had rested at his side immediately grabbed at your hips, nearly yanking you off your feet as he pulled you as close as he physically could, before tangling his left hand in your hair and descending down on your lips.

He knew his skills were more than unrefined, merely gathered by the glimpses of couples as he passed by them and some videos he refused to admit to watching. As corrupted as he had become as a person, in his eyes the love he had longed to shower you with for as long as he could remember, was as pure as fresh snow fluttering from the winter sky.

His restraint, trained and perfected over the years, shattered in an instant and you could barely say that he was kissing you, he was devouring you. Teeth would clash, his tongue was as invading as it was demanding and once he had crowded you against the wall, it was hard to tell where you ended and Caleb began.

His lips wouldn't stay idle once you had managed to get him to part for a moment to catch your breath. Feeling like he had been given full reign the moment you had kissed him, his lips would travel to your cheeks, your temples, your jaw, your neck, really just any place he could reach.

How to cover up the marks he was leaving on your collarbones and chest was the last thing on your mind as his hands began to explore as well. While yours were firmly planted on his broad chest, one daring to travel up to tangle in his dark hair, his were far more unrestrained.

While still squeezing your hip the hand on the nape of your neck steadily descended downwards, coming to rest on your behind, the fingers of his left hand digging into the muscle for a moment before the right hand joined in and he lifted you up.

Given his lack of experience and all the pent up feelings and desires he had bottled up inside him for all these years, the second he pinned your core against the wall with his hips, fingers now kneading your thighs, he was as good as gone.

You could clearly feel what your body was doing to his, the stiff bulge still contained by his pants rubbing against you harshly. For now he was too far gone in the moment to think of anything else but to finally find release with your body, in which way he didn't care too much about.

He could barely hear the moans leaving your mouth as his was still attached to your chest like a leech, as the friction from his relentless hips and the intensity of the moment brought you closer and closer as well.

Caleb reached his end with an almost violent tremble, biting harshly into the junction between your neck and shoulder, his fingers almost definitely leaving bruises from how hard he was gripping you and maybe it was this combination of pain and the pleasure of his minstrations or maybe even the desperate groan that bordered on a sob that left his throat, but he quickly pulled you over the edge with him.

He apologized profusely afterwards, mortified by how quickly he had lost control and how far he had things allowed to go, but you were having none of it. There was no trace of the confident and sometimes even cocky man that had fought his way past his gentle behaviour, just a man hopelessly overwhelmed and in love, looking for reassurence in your eyes.

Caleb refused to leave your side for even a second for the rest of the night.

[lipringlrh]

small rooms and crowded spaces | DR3

summary: you don't do well in crowded rooms or rooms full of people but daniel is always there to make you feel better.

pairing: daniel ricciardo x genderneutral!reader

an: my first daniel fic so please let me know how you find it!!! also pretend i posted this half an hour earlier on his actual birthday

word count: 1.1k

warnings: anxiety, crowded spaces + people.

feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

…

You hated crowded spaces: small rooms with far too many people, hotel lobbies during checkout time, and lifts with more than your own family. But most of all, you hated parties; they were an overcrowded dump, full to the brim with drunk idiots who really didn't care that they had just pushed you into a wall.

You never went on your own accord, and rarely anyone else's, but tonight was different. You were told it would be a small get-together with only a few drivers, past and present, and the odd mechanic or engineer. What you didn't expect was a massive party with people showing up even though they didn't know the host. Daniel had promised you it would be small and you would leave with him the second you wanted to, but it was impossible to find him through the groups of people. And even if you did, you'd feel too guilty to ask him to leave after knowing he was so glad to be out again.

Little did you know, Daniel was looking for you too. The whole night, he hadn't taken he eyes off of you. He either hadn't left your side or knew where you were at precisely any moment. It'd take one little slip up to lose you, which he wasn't planning on doing but when everything got too loud and he was pulled into a conversation where he had to focus his all on trying to hear, he lost you.

He was still meant to be engrossed in conversation with the same man, but he wanted to look for you. It was harder than imagined though as every time he tried to leave or just stop the conversation, the man would carry on, obviously ignoring the worried state of your boyfriend.

Daniel didn't give up though, his head was flicking rapidly back and forth trying to catch any glimpse of you. He was ignoring the man desperately trying to talk to him, only replying with short hums, ignoring every adequate reply.

He spotted you eventually, squashed into a wall. You were pushing yourself into it as far as you could go, searching around frantically for your boyfriend. You hadn't noticed him yet but he just wished you would, hoping it would calm you little until he managed to reach you.

He didn't know which way to go - every possible direction was cut off by groups of people. He decided he didn't care and just pushed passed everyone, occasionally dropping a "thank you" to the people who moved with ease.

You noticed him heading towards you, through the people and he could see you visibly relax. You kept your eyes trained on him, using him as a comfort, as he made his way over.

He could tell you were scared, anyone a mile away could, and he wished nothing more that the evening hadn't gone the way it did and that you had spent every moment within reach.

He reached you in due time, immediately placing his hands on your upper arms, rubbing up and down, whilst checking your face and body to make sure you were physically fine.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Are you okay? What can I do?"

You stared up at him, before flicking your eyes back around the room. You felt too constricted to speak or move at all. Daniel understood; he knew you and your emotions more than anyone else along with your responses to them.

"Okay, lets get you out of here. I'm going to put my arm around you and were going to head out the back exit, that okay?" You just nodded - you felt that was all you could do. Daniel knew what you meant and knew all the words you wished you could've said.

He manoeuvred you in and out of groups, making sure no one elbowed you or pushed you. It wasn't a long way to get out but every step felt like it was further away and so much harder to do. Daniel noticed but there was nothing he could do if he stopped, it'd only make you more overwhelmed, so he focused on getting you out.

He did it well - even whilst incredibly overwhelmed and uncomfortable, he made you feel safe and secure.

Once he got you out, he led you immediately to his car but instead of getting in the front, he sat you both in the back so he could hold you.

"Where'd your drink go? Where'd lily go?" He questioned, moving his hand to your cheek, lifting your face up so he could look at you more.

Your eyes were red and puffy and we're welling up again as you tried to speak. "I don't know. One minute she was there and then I-"

It felt too hard to speak - Daniel understood though. He knew where your sentence was heading so there was no need in finishing it anyway. He dragged you into a tight hug again, letting you head rest on his chest and his head rest on top of yours.

The car was silent for a while except from your light cries and the odd whisper of assurance from Daniel. He felt guilty for leaving your side and not making sure you were alright but he understood that that wasn't important now, what's important was making sure you're alright.

"Can we go home please?"

"Are you sure you're ready? I don't mind staying here for a little." His hand was running through your hair carefully, trying to detangle any little knots but also making sure not to hurt you.

"Yeah, can we cuddle at home though?" you smiled, looking up at him. He broke out into his world-famous smile instantly, making it hard not to stare at his lips.

"Absolutely." he grinned, there was no way he was missing out on that and there was no way you'd let him.

He held your hand almost the whole drive home or at least made sure one part of him was touching you constantly, knowing that it'd keep you calm. You couldn't help but smile at him the whole time: he took pride in looking after you - he did it so well, how could he not - and it made you so endlessly grateful for him.

"I love you," you spoke, not taking your eyes off of him as he pulled into your driveway.

He parked up before he responded so he could look at you. He knew you had been staring at him the whole time and was quite jealous that he had to focus on the road rather than you. He knew it'd be okay in the end though: you'd fall asleep on his chest whilst his fingers were tangled in your hair, and he'd spend time staring at you - his favourite thing. He didn't care if he'd be tired in the morning, he didn't care if he'd done it a million times, because every day he thought he reached the limit on how much a person can love somebody else but the next day he breaks it every time.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

f1 masterlist (coming soon) |

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 6

Masterlist

Taglist

Y/n back in their hard worked for life.

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

-

My apartment, when I got in late, was the same as when I left it. Everything is so familiar. So very quiet. Too quiet. I had grown used to the Omegas and their chaos.

Groaning and hurting I collapsed onto my familiar mattress and fell asleep instantly. Physically and emotionally drained.

Early the next morning I dragged myself out of bed and got ready to get back to normal. Getting dressed on autopilot I didn’t notice that I was wearing a Stray Kids hoodie until I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I grabbed my bag.

The sight made me freeze. Pain shot through my chest, and my eyes burned with tears that I couldn't afford to let fall right now. I can’t lose it. I don’t have enough time. Right now, I need to change and get to work. There was a pile of things that needed caught up on, and the pile wasn’t getting any smaller by standing here.

Unfreezing myself I ripped the hoodie off and tossed it in the corner behind the door. I will deal with it later. I left the house in just my thin t-shirt and jeans, too lazy to go and get another hoodie.

I regretted that decision almost immediately after arriving at work. There was a location shoot scheduled and it was outdoors. I would be freezing within minutes of getting there.

Luckily Angela was there. She was the front desk receptionist at our store front studio. She did a wonderful job entertaining customers when shoots ran over or we were running late for one reason or another. She reminded me of Felix. Made friends so easily and was always smiling, always friendly and sunshiny.

Today, looking at her hurt because she reminded me so much of the blonde ray of sunshine incarnate, but that wasn’t her fault and I tried to remind myself of that as I approached her desk, fake smile plastered on my face like the lie it was.

"Hey Ang! Long time no see!” I greeted resting an elbow on the high counter.

“y/n! How was your vacation? I didn’t even know you were going on one until you didn’t show up! Where did you go?” She fired off questions quickly in her excitement.

“It was fun.” I answered generically. “Do you have a jacket I can borrow for the graduation shoot? I forgot mine.”

“Absolutely! You must have been somewhere warm to get out of the habit of grabbing a jacket this time of year. I’m so jealous!” She handed me a bright pink fuzzy monstrosity that I would normally never be caught dead in. It looked like someone murdered the pink panther and made a jacket out of him.

However, it was this jacket or freeze to death. So, I took the jacket with a grateful nod and slipped it on. It smelled like lavender, Angelas preferred perfume. I flashed back to the painting of dried lavender I had back home, propped up in the closet because I didn’t want to be reminded of Hyunjin every time I caught a glimpse of it.

The shoot was at an overgrown train tracks. It was hidden in the woods, almost unseen if you weren’t looking for the rusted metal tracks. It was drizzling just enough to make everything glisten. Perfect for the shoot, cold for those of us who had to be in it. I was glad I opted to take the jacket Ang offered. I would need to have it dry cleaned and returned to her soon so I could thank her properly. Maybe bring her her favorite bougie coffee from the little shop down the road from the studio.

The customer for the graduation shoot was a female Omega, and for a short moment, my blood ran cold because I thought she would somehow know I was an Alpha. The more rational part of myself knew that I had taken my supplements, and it had been plenty long enough that they were in full effect. There was no way she would be able to smell Alpha on me. But I wasn’t feeling very rational at the moment.

I took a few extra minutes setting up my camera so I could get my panic under control. The Omega and her Beta mother were giving me odd looks, most likely smelling my panic in the air even over the metal smell from the tracks and the pine smell of the trees around us. The mossy wet earth not covering the acrid scent of panic emanating from me.

My hand felt warm, and I remembered when Chan took it on the plane when I was starting to panic that the other passengers could smell me. I’m not even sure he registered what he was doing. He was just aiming to make me feel better. To make me feel safe.

Despite the pang of hurt thinking of Chan created, I brought that feeling of safety back to the forefront of my mind. Remembered what it felt like to feel secure, even as exposed and vulnerable as I was. I closed my eyes and remembered.

It worked. With a deep breath, I turned and started the shoot, setting up the female Omega in poses that showed off both the beautiful location and her.

Normally, after a location shoot, I would take the rest of the day to edit the photos or even go home and edit the photos there. But I didn’t want to go home. That was where I remembered soft socked Chan sitting on my couch with JYP not that long ago. That was where I smelled the clothes I took with me that still have their scents clinging to them. That was where I had Stray Kids memorabilia on every surface with their faces staring out at me. That was where I hurt the most.

So instead, I immediately got started on an in studio family shoot that was waiting when I got back to the studio. It was a large family of 21 consisting of mother, father, their 5 grown kids, 8 grandchildren, and 6 great grandchildren. The youngest being just a couple of weeks old. It was chaotic and loud. The children were running around playing and fighting with each other. The parents were trying to corral them and yelling at each other when the children wouldn’t listen.

Normally, I would be annoyed as hell. This was taking way longer than their allotted and paid for hour of time, and it didn’t look like it would resolve itself any time soon. But despite that, I found myself smiling fondly as I watched and patiently waited for everyone to settle down. It made me feel warm. This is what it was like with Stray Kids, and I missed it now that I didn’t have it.

Eventually, everyone settled, and I was able to get a few decent shots where everyone was looking at the camera and not crying. As I walked them out, I promised them I would have the photos ready in 2 days, despite our standard time frame of 1 week. Ang gave me an odd look when she heard it, but didn’t say anything about it.

I stayed well after everyone else went home to edit the photos of both shoots and try and catch up on some of the edits we were behind on because of me. It was after midnight before I deemed myself exhausted enough to go home.

I avoided going online or listening to my music. Both were saturated with Stray Kids, and I couldn’t bring myself to listen to them or read up on any news about them. The countdown clock lived in the back of my mind unwanted, but I couldn’t seem to help that. Soon, it would hit 0, and this would all be over.

I spent time cleaning up the house. Packing up the acrylic standees of the boys and the skzoo plushies I had displayed on a bookshelf. Boxing the albums carefully in plastic so they would be safe from possible flooding or water damage. I took down the posters and photocards on the walls in each room, putting them safely in folders or binders and packing them away as well. The shirts and hoodies, blankets and pillowcases, all went into weatherproof boxes and placed in my storage closet, carefully labelled.

Without all my stuff hanging up, the walls were very plain and bare. It felt like I had just moved in. Like the guest room I stayed in with the boys. All neutral and white. Made for guests and not to be lived in and personalized by any one person.

I convinced myself that it was for the best. That this was all a part of healing from the upheaval and heartbreak.

And it worked. I locked any pain that came away inside my chest. That’s where my heartbreak lived, and I was keeping it there until it faded away with time. I just had to stay strong until it did.

I firmly thought of something else anytime something reminded me of one of the boys. Ignored the weather when it was sunny or stormy. Even started favoring pastel colors in my outfits and photoshoots alike. If anyone noticed, no one said anything. And I ignored any strange looks sent my way.

My life was getting back to exactly what I worked for it to be. This was my choice.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Unwilling Alpha Taglist: @xxeiraxx @hanniemylovelyquokka @breadedloafs @songleepark @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hyunjinhoexxx @kayleefriedchicken @vietjeb @hityoulikebahng @juju-227592 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @royal-shinigami @bangchansfavoritenoona @straykidslvr @bookswillfindyouaway @h0rnyp0t @Svmmerstime @jennibahng @kpopandmusicpassion

[deiaiko]

#24.2 Endorsi vs Bam

Endorsi was unsatisfied by the match's result with Grace.

She took a lot of pride in her physical strength, as Jahad princesses should. Yet her attacks were so easily countered. And it wasn't only by Grace, but also Mask in their mock battle last week and their tag game earlier.

She definitely wasn't a procrastinator like the sleepyhead, but she also wasn't a workaholic like a certain swordsman. Yet since Mask showed up, she began questioning whether she had slacked off on training that much.

Her mock battle with Mask had ended with her defeat. But to be fair, she didn't exactly dress up properly for training, and Mask broke her heel and threw her off. Plus, he was smart enough to not block her kicks, as he resorted to dodging and redirecting the impact. And she would've gotten him earlier at the tag game if he wasn't so slippery.

However, it was different with Grace. It was as if he was making fun of her, with how easily he handled her attacks.

He saw through her needles and rendered them useless. He blocked her shinsu-reinforced kicks and without even breaking his stance. Most regulars would have suffered broken bones if they did that.

And despite everything, she knew that Grace was still holding back because he never actively aimed his bangs at her. 

She heard that Grace was also an irregular, and every irregular in the tower beforehand was blessed with power, so maybe she shouldn't be that surprised with the outcome.

That train of thought resurfaced her questions about a certain irregular's growth, which Endorsi had been itching to know ever since he was revealed to be alive.

Endorsi raised her hand, scanning at the audience area, "I request a match with Bam next."

Bam froze when everyone stared at him. It took a few beats for him to reply. "Alright."

Bam made his way to the training area, switching places with Grace. Grace gave Bam a pat on his shoulder and said, "Do your best," which was quite ironic coming from him.

Endorsi wasn't expecting much, so she suggested the same rule as she did with Grace. "Everything but reverse flow control is allowed. What do you think?"

"No problem."

Bam got into his stance, as the speedster guy went to collect the wrinkled paper from across the room in just a blink. Endorsi lowered herself, muscles tensed and ready to lunge forward.

"Ready? Five minutes. Start!"

Endorsi immediately lunged forward with a kick, and Bam responded by blocking it, mirroring what Grace did.

However, the impact sent him flying across the room and slamming into the barrier with quite a force.

Oops.

Maybe she should have gone gentler on him. Though deep down she felt somewhat relieved to know that her kick still worked.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Khun and Rak had stood up from their seats, looking worried and angry. They were clearly about to run to check on Bam, but Grace held them back.

Bam collected himself and stood up, teeth clenched in pain while holding one broken arm. Two bangs were summoned above him. Endorsi caught a glimpse of the third one, but it failed to form.

She jumped away to avoid the blast, but Bam didn't let a second go to waste. He reformed another bang while he shot the other, easily controlling her movement and stalling time.

She needed to close their distance if she wanted to win.

She threw a few needles at Bam, thinking that Bam would aim his bangs to block them like Grace did, or at least to get him distracted and cease fire.

However, Bam still kept shooting his bangs at her while he dodged her needles. Clearly, she was underestimating him. Bam could have won were his aim not all over the place, though she also couldn't tell whether it was deliberate or not.

Five minutes went too fast, and the match ended with another draw. But this time, she felt slightly better, having someone else that was on par against her. Neither a boring easy win nor a humiliating loss.

Though she also realized that Bam had changed a lot from the last time they met. He had grown, but so had their distance. It was as if he was a complete stranger now.

There was no longer joy in his laugh, nor bright sunshine when he smiled. His posture was no longer unguarded, and his eyes had dimmed.

But…back when they were having lunch earlier, she could still see glimpses of Bam. His soft voice, his politeness, his lack of common sense. The person that everyone adored and missed dearly.

She wanted to climb with him and get to know him again.

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[cletimz]

| Glimpses of Reality | Chapter 2

Stilgar Ben Fifrawi x OC Fem

Wc: 1834

Paul Atreides was startled a little bit when he heard a familiar voice enter the training room in which he was right now.

“I thought you were going to Arrakis with Duncan” Mileena mentioned as she looked at the room and realized the strong smell of sweat in there “He didn’t want me to go with him, I even told him about a dream I had about this visit to Arrakis and ending with his dead” He replied to her as he kept cleaning the swords used while training with Gurney “Probably though it was a silly dream. You made good by telling him about it. It was up to him to decide what to do next” She sighed at the end and inspected the arms held on display in the walls

“Don't worry, Paul. In a blink, we would be in Arrakis, and you will be reunited with your great love, Duncan '' She added with a smile on her face trying to enlighten the mood of her friend as she knows how much he appreciates him. Mileena always found it funny how Paul would try to follow Duncan everywhere, even as kids he would be the same. “I'm not in the mood for silly jokes, Mileena. You better than anyone should comprehend how these dreams or visions, whatever they are, affect” The future duke responded as he went to stand next to her and accommodate the swords he was cleaning on their respective place “I'm sorry, Paul. You seriously do not need to worry about him. He's a great warrior. Dreams are only dreams. We can make assumptions about them and we would never know if we are crossing the line of reality or fiction until the exact situation happens” She looked him in the eyes and noticed the lost look in them. “We need to focus on the real dangers we are facing. Do you not suspect anything about the Harkonnens and their passive response at the house Atreides taking over Arrakis?”

He nodded as he listened to her question “Gurney was telling me about them. They are wicked. I am not sure what they are planning but the Emperor asked us to go to Arrakis so he is on our side”

“Try not to be too confident about that, Paul. You could never know the real intentions behind a political move” Mileena commented as they moved to the door to leave the room “You sound like one of those old men advising my father. Maybe you should be the future Duke, or may I say, duchess' ' They both laugh at the boy’s reply “The Bene Gesserit would have my head for that' ' The girl commented as they made their way to have dinner.

————————————————————————

Mileena was in her bed reading a book about the Fremen. She admired their way of adapting to the environment they lived in, not only physically, but psychologically. The girl knew about the resistance from them to the Emperor as every man ruling Arrakis only saw the place as a gold mine to be exploited. She wished them the best for their stay at Arrakis. Some gut feeling told her it was not going to be a long one.

When she was about to close her eyes, someone entered her room. It was Jessica. “Did anything happen? Are you fine?” The girl questioned as she saw the nervous look Jessica “The Reverend's mother is here and she wishes to see you” Mileena could not help to freeze for a minute at the mention of the Reverend's mother in the Atreides palace “Get ready quickly. She is going to talk with Paul first and then with you” The older Benne Gessarit commented as she left her room to wake up her son.

The girl was intrigued by the sudden interest of the Reverend's mother to talk with her. The last time they had a meeting was when she was 15 years old and Mileena found the courage to ask her about her mother and the frequent dreams she had about Arrakis. She didn't mention the man in her dreams as something told her it would bother the Bene Gesserit. The Reverend's mother told her that her mother was no useful individual in her growing up. She was no Bene Gesserit. She could not teach her in The Way. Mileena wanted to argue that idea and mention that every child needs its mother, but she knew better, so she did not question any further.

She was waiting in the hall when she saw Paul leaving the room and Jessica Atreides sighed with her head to indicate that it was her time to go inside. Mileena went inside and court to the Reverend Mother “Come” The older Bene Gesserit used the voice on her and her body and mind followed the instruction. “You have grown, what are you eighteen? Nineteen? Save me the unnecessary questions, young girl” Mileena nodded and responded in a nervous tone “I am eighteen, Reverend Mother. This is my last year of training to become part of the Bene Gesserit” The older woman nodded at her statement “That is correct and that is the reason I asked to meet you tonight. Your training with Jessica is soon to be finished. You would become one of us and you will accomplish your duties”

The woman continued examining her “Jessica Atreides was supposed to have a girl who would, in the future, give birth to the daughter of Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen” Mileena was shocked at the revelation made to her “I did not know any about that. Jessica never told me” This was something very usual from Jessica Atreides. She would never share personal information with Mileena. “Of course she wouldn't, she was busy raising her son into our teaching method. She believes he is the Kwisatz Haderach. However, I am not here to talk about Jessica and her delusions. As I mentioned, she was supposed to have a girl who would fulfill the duty of breeding a daughter of Feyd-Rautha”

The girl did not like where this conversation was leading. The Reverend Mother continued talking “She didn't have a daughter and now we need someone to fulfill the duty of this absence” Mileena knew what the Reverend Mother was about to ask her, correction, demand her “You will marry Feyd-Rautha and bear a daughter from him. You are going to stay a few weeks in Arrakis until we arrange your arrival to Giedi Prime” The girl was about to protest when the older Bene Gesserit used the voice on her once again “Leave the room”

When she was outside, she could not believe what had just happened. She was furious. She went to her room and started crying as much as she could. She would never find peace under the hands of the Bene Gesserit.

————

The next day they were leaving for Arrakis. Mileena tried to ask Jessica if she knew anything about what the future held for her, but she already knew the answer. She knew everything was planned from the beginning. That is why Jessica Atreides could not refuse to train her as she was in no position to decline because she decided to have a son. The only thing Mileena could do was to enjoy her last days with the people she had grown around.

��What's gotten into your mind? You look defeated” Paul asked her as she noticed the change in her behavior since the meeting with the Reverend Mother “Nothing to worry about. I just want to finally land in Arrakis. I don't like flying” The boy nodded “We will land in a few minutes” and they did. As soon as they went outside of the ship, Mileena noticed the influence of the Bene Gesserit in the people of Arrakis as they were chanting for Paul Atreides as they were told to believe he was the mesias.

As the first days of their first week in Arrakis passed, the Duke’s heir was almost killed. The girl believed it was someone from inside who tried to do that but quickly forgot that as Paul told her they were going to have a meeting with the Fremen leader whom Duncan had met during his mission. She knew how important this was, if house Atreides were on good terms with the Fremen, it was possible they would have a good future in Arrakis.

These days she noticed she stopped having those dreams about Arrakis and the mysterious dream. She thought if she ever stopped having those dreams she would feel like a charge had been taken away from her, but it was the contrary, Mileena missed the caressing and small moments of peace she would feel in her dreams. Her mind keeps wandering about that as she walks through the halls of their new home.

This day was the one arranged for the meeting with Liet-Kynes to check the production equipment left by the Harkonnens. It was obvious they were trying to sabotage House Atreides. Right now the Duke was in a meeting with the Fremen leader. She wishes to meet him and ask him about their people. However, she knew he would probably show disgust for house Atreides and would never answer her questions. However, this might change depending on the outcome of the meeting between him and the Duke.

She kept walking with an absent-minded mind trying to avoid thinking as every worry about her future would fill her head and she would rather avoid that. She was looking at her feet while doing so until she jumped into someone. “I apologize I was not looking where I was going,” She said as she noticed who was the person she had bumped into.

She immediately recognized the clothes as the traditional Fremen vestment; she figured he was the Fremen's leader of the meeting. He mumbled something in another language before he responded “No need to worry. Watch your steps, young lady” He said to her as he moved past and continued his way to leave the place “Wait a minute. You are the Fremen leader, right? Duncan told us about you. I am Mileena, Mileena Almad” she offered her hand to him to shake them “Yes, I am. My name is Stilgar. We have just finished the meeting, your Duke seems to have good intentions”

He took her hand in hers and shook it. As soon as he accepted her salute, Mileena felt a warm feeling of comfort go through her body. She immediately recognized them as the ones she used to feel in her dreams when the mysterious man would caress her. The girl stood frozen in her place and could not say a word. She missed that feeling “I need to leave. I am needed somewhere else. Take care of yourself, Mileena” She watched him go and she was fighting the urge to follow him. She found peace in her mind for less than a second and it was still enough for her.

there are probably many mistakes but I just want to post this chapter and go to sleep, chauuu los tkm💋🧟

[bookishjules]

what do you think Izzy was like post cohf but pre tftsa? bring on the angst

okay i can't promise this will be coherent, but..

the first thing that comes to mind is angry. like.. i don't think i need to contextualize this for you, but just to get us in the headspace.. she really just gave her heart away. put the emphasis on any word in that sentence and it not only makes sense but just feels heavier and heavier. she fell in love in spite of herself, in spite of her fears and insecurities, in spite of her efforts and determination. and why would that not make her feel like the biggest fucking idiot?? she knew. she knew that falling in love would only result in pain and heartbreak and that that was a life she didn't want to live. and yet she did all that anyway. she put trust in simon, trust in the universe, and of course men and the universe will do what they do.. so can she really fault anyone but her own naive self?

she externalizes that anger too, snapping at her family, being especially brutal when she comes across demons during patrol etc. and the worst part is, that that anger doesn't take the other emotions away, it doesn't eradicate the love she felt for simon, that she still very much feels for him. she thinks of him and her heart hurts and it only makes her all the more angry. i think she waffles between being glad she never truly said the words "i love you" and regretting it. because now those words are just curdling inside her, a constant reminder of what she had and lost, and it makes her sick. like no, she never gave them away, but that also means she has to harbor the truth of them in her stomach. the truth of how much she's come to need him, of how every time she feels herself breaking down because of the heaviness of reality, it's his arms she craves.

she tries to forget. tries to move on like she's always been able to, tries to deny him like she's never been able to, but it doesn't work. of course it doesn't work. she tries to go out, to kiss boys, but all it does is pull her closer to tears. and it feels a little like she's the one being disloyal. because her heart still belongs to simon. because she never actually broke up with him. he may not remember that they are still together, but it's not like he wanted to ghost her. he loved her. and if he knew her.. he still would. but physicality has always helped her forget, helped her push those strong emotions deep inside. so she trains and she goes dancing, and she even lets a couple guys take her home. but no matter how intense the physical side gets, the emotions just rear their heads even stronger.

she's changed so much since meeting simon, since falling in love with him. and suddenly she isn't satisfied by hookups and bandaids. she wants someone to listen to her, to see her. someone to protect, someone to hold her hand. someone worth fighting for. she wants simon. she worries she's ruined. she worries she'll never be satisfied if he isn't simon. how could she find that again? would she even want to?

and i say she wants someone to talk to, but she definitely is not opening up to the people who are trying to be there for her. she closes herself off until she can properly mask her emotions, but her brothers aren't fooled by her act. clary has the best success when talking to izzy. not because she can offer consolation in any way, but because she gets it. because they can comfort each other in the loss of this person who meant the most to both of them. and when starving out the emotions doesn't seem to be working, izzy decides maybe .. maybe she should try the opposite. so clary starts to tell her stories. she talks about simon the way she grew up with him, talks about his favorite subjects in school and how he cried at his dad's funeral and the day he came home from his first guitar lesson. and izzy knows it helps clary too, to have someone who will appreciate these stories as well. who will appreciate a glimpse into the world clary lost.

but of course that also makes izzy feel even less deserving of the sense of absolute loss she feels when it comes to simon. like she had this guy in her life for what.. four months? why is she reacting so strongly?? why must this love have such a chokehold on her?? but the way she opened up to simon was something so unique and new that.. it wasn't just losing him. in a way, she'd lost a piece of herself too, the piece she'd never thought she'd give away. and fuck. it had felt so good. in all the anxiety.. it had felt good to be vulnerable with simon. it had been a piece of her that she'd relented. not freely given at first, but by the end.. it was absolutely his. and he took it with him. there was no getting that piece of her back.

no matter how hard she'd tried, she ended up with a man who hurt her, just like her mother warned. but she doesn't want to be like her father, either, marrying someone he doesn't truly love, mistreating them in that apathy.. not after what she felt with simon. not now that she knows what true love and heartbreak are. so she thinks well.. i guess i'll have to live off sex alone.

but like i said before, sex doesn't work. alec says she'll find someone, jace tries to distract her, any effort her mom makes is completely brushed aside.. and eventually she finds herself hoping. it's naive. its fucking dumb. but she starts.. stalking simon. just a little. she attends his shows, and she pays attention. she talks to people who have interacted with him since edom, and she pays attention. is there a piece inside him that's broken too? could he remember me? remember us? how bad would it be to just approach him. to kiss him and remind him of the truth.

she expresses these thoughts one night, after having had a little too much to drink at one of simon's shows and going to crash at magnus and alec's place. and magnus listens. he doesn't want to give her false hope, but he also doesn't want her to sink so far into this train of thought that she ends up approaching mundane simon in such a self-destructive way. so he tells her that if they found enough proof, they could try to jog his memory.

then izzy find the poster days after the band changes their name to the mortal instruments and the rest is history..

[f4unlette]

little life update…♡

i nearly forgot about the existence of this account haha, but i just opened tumblr and omfg i cannot believe that there’s 300 of you guys that have been accompanying this account for quite some time now. i’m absolutely delighted and quite shocked, thank you ♡

now, here’s the update:

i hate bisexuality omfg why the actual fuck did i have to fall for 2 different people of 2 different genders at the same time, i’m going crazy

i’ve had a thing for this girl since, like… 8th, perhaps 9th grade? she’s an absolute sweetheart, i adore her deeply. such a beautiful and intelligent soul, a joy to be around.

recently, around a month ago, we, the school poulation, started training for our senior prom waltz, and a classmate of mine invited me to dance with him weekly, and i accepted his invite. every week, we would practice together. in the last week, every day. we would meet up at the local cafe, even walk around town. this week, however, this has changed. for the best, fortunately.

he has been getting so much more physically and emotionally close to me. from text messages to hand caressing and holding. placing me on his lap and hugging me thightly, picking up my hands and carefully observing every line of skin, from poking scars, warming me up, running the tips of his fingers through my nail polish, to wanting me to wrap my hand around his fingers and kissing them. he sat me on his lap giving me forehead kisses while caressing my hair. always listening to what i have to say. having little kissing competitions. inviting me to hang out up to 3 times a week. this man is genuinely the sweetest ever. he’s got such a kind soul, it’s so comforting to be around him. such beautiful eyes and such a comforting, sweetly warm scent. a serene tone of voice and, may i add, such kissable lips. and i’ve started to suspect that he might have something for me, too. we have so much in common, from past experiences, to personal values, common friends and music taste. he even suggested for us to try to fit together into the largest items of clothing he could find, and i believe that could be an excuse for physical closeness lol. he often comments on my scent, and how it sticks to him, and i do the same as the breeze hits softly. ♡

he always listens to my music recommendations, even on loop. he even, without me saying a word, watched buffalo ‘66 and immediately pointed out how i often dress in a way that is similar to layla, and would sometimes tap dance during waltz lessons like she does in the movie.

but, the thing is… my lady. who is not yet my lady, i’m absolutely petrified at the thought of even gazing at her with such a loving and yearning gaze due to a fear of rejection. maybe that could be a strong choice of words, but let’s say that confessing to her is not on the table right now. i, unfortunately, am not able to maintain a stable, long distance relationship, as much as i adore her :(

and they do, in fact, know one another. he asks me about how my little situation with her is going and i keep him updated as often as possible. and, yet, our hangouts have been getting much more physically and emotionally intimate. my own friends have said that i would look good with either of them because they notice how happy they both look around me. and how i cannot get rid of such a stupid little smirk each time i catch a glimpse of each of their sillouettes.

i think i’m just gonna keep on enjoying this man’s company as much as possible and also try to get to see and speak to her more often. she’s inviting me to go out around this week :D what have i gotten myself into omfg i cannot stop screwing myself over

[xerith-42]

Garrance Headcanons/Ideas

Help I'm falling down the rabbit hole

-Laurance and Garroth are a perfect example of the one who's been in love for three years and the one who fell hard and fast. Laurance started developing a crush on Garroth when they were in training and it slowly blossomed into deeper feelings when they found one another again. Garroth has fallen in love twice and when it happened with Laurance he had literally no fucking clue what to do.

-Laurance first fell in love with Garroth when he saw how passionate Garroth is about what he does. Garroth is lecturing some other trainees that are in their class about respect and honor and he looks so stern and upset when he does it. He wants to be taken so seriously and be a pillar for others to rely on at all times, and Laurance just thinks he's a total dork. Because he is. And Laurance loves that about him.

-When they're alone and actually comfortable being intimate with one another Laurance is really wordy, flowery and poetic in his musings about Garroth, faith, life, whatever he can go on about. Garroth is useless. All he can do is sit there flustered and stare at his not boyfriends beautiful eyes.

-The first time they showed real physical intimacy is after Laurance wakes up screaming from a Shadow Knight related nightmare. As always, he wants to keep it under wraps, but he woke up Garroth who will not leave him alone until Laurance explains himself. It's not the first time he's heard Laurance wake up from a nightmare, but the first time he's sounded actually in pain. He can't stand the sound.

-Upon hearing what Laurance was dealing with, Garroth sits next to him, puts an arm around him, and simply whispers the words "I'm here to protect you." And Laurance fucking breaks. He starts uncontrollably sobbing into Garroth's arms and he can't stop. This is the moment when Garroth realized he fell in love again. When he realizes he would do literally anything to keep Laurance safe and happy. Not because they're fellow guards, but because he loves him.

-They don't get many moments alone, so they dearly treasure the ones they do get. And even when around others, Garroth can't help but catch a glimpse of Laurance's smile and it makes his whole day brighter. Laurance gets to see how seriously Garroth takes his job and can't help but be in love with every aspect of him. They are so desperately and helplessly in love with one another and so terrible at expressing it.

-When Garroth betrays everyone at the end of Season 1, Laurance is completely fucking destroyed. He feels utterly betrayed that Garroth thinks he would go behind his back for Aphmau because Laurance is the one out of the three of them who recognizes the "has two hands" mentality. In his mind, there's a possibility they could all be happy together. He perhaps selfishly thinks he can have both of the loves of his life love him back. But Garroth thinks he doesn't care about his feelings and only cares about Aphmau. Laurance can't even bear the thought that Garroth doesn't trust him after everything they've said to one another. After everything they've been through together.

-And then he has to leave Garroth behind!! Just as Garroth comes to terms with his own feelings in the Irene Dimension, he realizes that Laurance loves him just as much as he loves Laurance. He realizes he was an idiot for ever assuming Laurance would intentionally hurt him. He glances behind him and mouths the words "I love you." Laurance is sure he meant it for Aphmau, but Garroth looks right into his eyes as he says it. It's the first time either one said I love you to the other.

-Laurance is flung fifteen years into the future and the first thought he has upon returning home is a crushingly empty feeling in his chest. He can't even comprehend where he is or what has happened because his heart aches at the memory of Garroth in that moment. He begins to mourn a man who isn't even dead yet. He mourns the love of his life who was just returned to him. Like he's so used to doing, Laurance mourns.

[hoch-turm]

Chapter 1

“Ah, if only there were more time, wouldn’t that be nice, Fordsy?

If your brain isn’t completely rusted yet, try imagining it! If you could live just a little longer, how many mistakes could you correct, how many miracles could you witness?

Oh, maybe—just maybe—you could actually kill me. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

A bout of dizziness.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, something was flowing out of his body, turning into the enemy’s sneer.

“Oh dear, that was really close, just a little bit more and you would have hit me. Nice try Sixer.” The noisy voice kept approaching him, and he was getting a little annoyed. Every extra bit of pain at the scene seemed to raise that sharp voice by two decibels, and the buzzing in his ears did not drown it out. Instead, it harmonized with the opponent’s shrill tone, adding to his suffering.

A thick, sticky liquid kept dripping from the back of his head, stripping away the man’s ability to think. He could only use the last of his strength to turn his head to the side, refusing to look at that smug golden triangle.

“Do you know why you missed? Your reaction was simply too slow! Honestly, I’ve seen you react faster before. Hey, where have you put it all these years? All that training was completely useless.”

Bill straightened Stanford’s head, forcing him to meet his gaze.

The man before him was already full of silver hair, his wounds bleeding profusely, deep wrinkles beneath them. His dull pupils had lost all their light, only the reflection of the yellow triangle adding a hint of color to those eyes.

That thrilled Bill to no end.

“Oh, Sixer， I see now.”

“You’ve grown old. Death is chasing you, and you are chasing me.” He chuckled. “Human aging is truly the dullest thing in the universe. Even someone as smart as you fails to realize that time is constantly stealing your most precious things. Honestly, I still prefer those creatures that explode into confetti when their time is up.”

What the hell is he talking about?

The taste of blood in his mouth grew stronger, and so did the brain fog. Stanford sluggishly and passively absorbed the other’s words.

“Ah, if only there were more time, wouldn’t that be nice, Fordsy? If your brain isn’t completely rusted yet, try imagining it! If you could live just a little longer, how many mistakes could you correct, how many miracles could you witness? Oh, maybe—just maybe—you could actually kill me. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?” Bill circled around Stanford, as if he were still his close friend, patiently guiding him.

Once a person starts thinking, they can’t stop.

The past thirty years of experience flashed before his eyes, broken down into days, minutes, seconds.

Those failures, those times, those unfinished theories and inventions.

Every drop in concentration, every second of slowed reaction, every decline in physical ability, every gap in time—every breath he took, he wished for the same thing.

If only I had more time.

No matter how much he denied it, no matter how much he tried to escape it, facts were still facts.

Once you glimpse even a corner of time, you will never be satisfied again.