#i just felt like expressing myself
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I canāt think of any funny quips to put as description for this one so uh- suppose this time around Iāll just let the art speak for itself lol
Enjoy the daily dose of fanart while it lasts because I canāt quite guarantee Iāll be able to keep up this speed throughout the upcoming month. But Iāll sure try to! Thank you all for the support <3
#guys itās 12:20am I have school today at 7:45 what am I doing with my time management here jksjsksp#was worth it though#oddly enough I havenāt felt this free to express myself or my appreciation for things in a while it seems#so setting time to just let my art take shape on its own accord and freehand it all without any particular goal in mind is justā¦#a well needed relaxing break to zone out and create for the sake of it you know?#finally iām not stressing over deadlines or finalizing to perfect#thereās no pressure or obligation <3#kinda like a āoh yeah I made this and the fact I made it is special enoughā#ā¦.ah wait maybe itās the peaceful instrumental Spotify playlist taking effect on me too lol#yeah actually that would make a lot of sense#doodles#smg4 fanart#smg4 doodles#smg4 sketches#leggy smg4#mario smg4#mr puzzles smg4#hplonesome art
55 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).
It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#ally advice#i'm thankful that my manhood is the way it is. but it was a painful journey to get here and i did it partially alone#i absolutely am grateful to have had my friends and the trans people who made themselves known though. i owe these people my life#i still think it's not unreasonable to have wished for my /family/ to have been part of that journey sooner especially when i was young#sometimes it seems like parents who believe their child has died after they express their transness make that a self-fulfilling prophecy...#...in that the parent often aloenates themself/themselves from their child in a variety of ways...#...i was alienated from my dad when he threatened my transition - it became a self-fulfilling prophecy in that i shut myself down...#...i retreated inward and in a way became a ghost - corporeal to the touch but a spirit who may not be seen...#...in many ways i felt in limbo between life and death. it was a cycle of purgatory#and that is something i think is best avoided. it's lonely and scary and it makes it hard to imagine a future#i need to emphasize that even though this was shitty i am still lucky in so many ways#i just faced a lot of undue shit even so - shit i don't think was conducive to a good environment or well-being
162 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ā„ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows āŖ#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
25 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things š So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D ššāØāØš§”š
#isa screams#long post#gif#flashing#i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG#I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange?#its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though#I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly#but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do#its a tricky thing#but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay#if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG#thanks if you read this! I appreciate it!#I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express.#But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak#And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right?#And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get#part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions#am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am#I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life.#But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)
58 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Iām so glad that in june my (very toxic and insecure and jealous) ex bf broke up with me while I was on a school trip in Prague and that I am finally able to live my life freely again because otherwise I wouldnāt have met all those lovely people here on tumblr !!!
#just know I love all of you so much#whenever I see my moots in my notes I feel sooooo happy and giddy#and I havenāt been really happy for the last 2 years bc of that relationship I was in#he isolated me from my friends and family and the things I love to do (like I wasnāt even allowed to play uno with my friends at schoolš??)#and then my friends helped me through the time of where I was finding to myself again#I made so many new friends and connections#also connected with old friends and family again#aaaaa Iām just so glad about how this break-up played out#Iām genuinely happy when Iām on here#And interact with my moots <333#Just felt like expressing this thought#donāt mind me <3#the voices are speaking
12 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
how do people even find partners. i dont want a bullshit answer, like really
#maybe im intimidating but no one has been interested in me#its just. rough#and i cant force myself to like anyone romantically if i dont feel compatability#i just want to be cared about in an exclusive way that friendship alone cant fix#i dont post abt this often but i got no sleep so yall gotta deal#its um. crushing sometimes#i dont even know if im aro as cope. once i did THC im more emotionallt aware and its. haha#the people around me tell me things that make me feel like im a catch and i feel it myself but NO ONE has advanced#and ive only felt attracted to one person in my life. who was taken ofc#im not sure it wouldve worked out good though anyway since im more emotionally mature#but it was because he expressed genuine care towards me and made me feel good about myself in honest ways i havent heard from anyone#and made me feel important to him#so im really at a loss#and also our conversations flow really smooth and we agree on many things that we find important#are there any extroverts that confidently wear their hearts on the sleeves and try to bring joy that want me#someone sensitive to my needs#my needs of which are actually very very basic#hi
42 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
why have you carved me out of flesh?
[ID: It Writes Back - Hritvika Lakhera
Lord above you have carved me/ out of flesh;/ will you return/ to stem the bleeding?/ You have left me rotting,/ repulsive,/ hard to breathe around./ Blood left on the sheets/ is harder to scrub out;/ blood left on the floor/ wafts of rot instead of iron;/ you are my butcher/ casting me into offal.
I am immortality./ I am the shifting darkness,/ the echoing cliff ā/ why/ have you made me/ out of bleeding,/ rotting/ flesh?
/end ID]
#new poem after ages š
#posting poetry has felt demotivating for a while. and i realised i was starting to hold myself back while writing#so I've decided to get rid of some stuff that is getting in the way of expressing myself and just demoralising me#just gonna treat this space like my own personal archive that anyone who relates can dip into#if you like the poem tho please consider sharing!#the few times my poems have reached a larger audience I've had the loveliest tags to read on them by people who relate#and that makes it all worth it really#poetry#original poetry#writeblr#poems#w#writings#words#queer poetry#described#writblr
40 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
lol i pregamed a tiny bit for agatha but now after finishing im just taking shots for coping reasons
#i amā¦ā¦ not all that pleased with the ending#/not trying to sound like a complainy bitch#SPOILER WARNING ->#i expected agatha to die tbh#but honestly what i Did not expect was for the ending to feel unfinished#and for me to come out of it feeling so deeply unsatisfied#and itās not that any of the scenes were bad really!! i loved them#i just feel like a lot of themā¦. needed some further context or elaboration that we got absolutely none of#like i have So Many questions still that werenāt at all answered by the finale#and also questions that came up BECAUSE of the finale that didnāt get answered lol#idk iām just.#iām so proud of kathryn hahn and all of the cast and crew#and i donāt want to seem ungrateful bc i can FEEL that they put their heart and soul into this show#but the writing and contextualization just REALLY really fell flat for me in the last two episodes#also some decisions that feltā¦weird and last minute#like the reveal of agatha being the one to take jenās powers?? still makes zero sense to me#idk i just wish we had more time with them i think#also iām not upset that agatha died again i kinda expected it but the manner in which she died felt abrupt and inauethentic to. e#it just didnāt feel fleshed out at all idkkkkk#ugghhhhhgg#canāt believe i got fucking got by yet another sapphic show#iām just asking for one good sapphic show with a satisfying ending PLEASE#(read: NOT necessarily a happy ending im not asking for all that i just need it to MAKE FUCKING SENSE!!!!)#anyway. i have more thoughts that ill get into soon im a bit tipsy and prob and not expressing myself right but TLDR love them all butā¦. š¬#agatha all along#agathario#agatha harkness#billy maximoff#kathryn hahn#joe locke
14 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#āout of nowhereā she says like she hasnāt been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#itās been over two years since the last time we talkedā¦ absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! thereās a lot of things i used to like about myself that i donāt think iām ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole āmaybe i could make things rightā song and dance š#the thing is most of the time iām not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the āthatās really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldnāt have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?ā#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope sheās gotten some of her shit worked out#so iām not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i canāt think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so š#i donāt actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasnāt crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just donāt see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yetā¦ the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger personā¦#caseyposting
23 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
22 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.
It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.
#positivity#mental health#mental health support#gentle reminders#this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize)#(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that)#(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view)#i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum#or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true#i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it#but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body#in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have#so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it#i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume#(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle)#hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm.#mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience)#but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore#i'm going to play mahjong about this š«”š
137 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes āwho was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing youād writeā and honestly i think itās one of my favourite unintentional compliments iāve ever received
#the fact that sheās been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too#idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight#also something about it was weirdly validating#because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart#i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does#and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go āhey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind worksā#when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain#was just#yeah#i don't even know actually#i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw#i'm not delusional lol#but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing#which is i think why i connect with it so much#even if i express that creativity differently#(and with less skill)#sorry i'm just rambling at this point#i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn#so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book#thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble#humbug#lulu posts
56 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Hiš«¶š» this is peak stream of consciousness writing so beware: cringe ahead (nonetheless Iād be happy if someone read this lol it would mean a lot)
āā-
The sky is blue
The grass is green
Still my mind is playing tricks on me
if what I feel and what I see would be less real
Then maybe Iād have a lot less ghosts
roaming around and fighting me
i am so tired, do you know
it takes everything in me to be this strong
I cannot stay, but I cannot go
who the fuck wants to die alone?
I guess I do, Itās all I know
an eternal curse put on to me
thanks to my lovely family
I do love them, I cannot lie
itās just this feeling iāve got inside
would someone love me for
who I am, this wretched mess
who am I kidding- of course they wonāt
This life is all just for show
wish someone had told me this once before
just let go of your fears and ghosts
theyāll come back sooner or later anyway
no point in driving yourself crazy
wish I could believe this sage
I still choose to put the blame
all on me
itās kinda sad
i donāt why
i wonāt be loved, I wonāt be liked
what can I do?
maybe I should just stop
#my poem#original poem#poetry#my own thoughts#my writing#my words#mental health issues#mental health awareness#i swear Iāve written better stuff before#but i just felt like posting this#but who am i kidding Iāll probably delete it later anyway#lol#liesmultixxx talks š©µ#this is me hi#my thoughts#maybe someone can relate#kind words are appreciated!#and constructive criticism of course#Iām no writer i just like to express myself in odd poems apparently#feeling insecure
16 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
my cool lesbo version of the rocky horror picture show
#usually genderbends make me want to kill myself but a character as centered around their gender expression as frank is felt like a really#interesting one to do#i also just wanted to do my own take on the characters in general#steamhappy#the rocky horror picture show
70 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
after the intensity of kiryuās response to the news that majima was (supposedly) killed and the lengths he went to to find whoās responsible and do god knows what to them and all thatā itās fucking wild that there was no kazumaji reunion at ALL at the end of y5 like are you kidding me. all of that rage and grief? and their relationship is brushed off like it doesnāt even exist more or less?? cruel cruel cruel
#rambling#y5#yakuza 5 spoilers#kazumaji#do I have to fuckin. write something in MYSELF#becuase I have IDEAS#I keep thinking about this one scene in the last episode of torchwood season 1 where jack is ādeadā for like a few weeks and when he#miraculously comes back one of the first things he does is walk up to ianto and kiss him. because hes had a brush with death and realizes#the regret he felt for almost dying without expressing his true feelings for him and all that#something akin to that. just. kiryuās first response upon seeing majima alive is to walk toward him with intent gradually picking up speed#as if heās about to attack him. and without saying anything just. kissing him.#will think about this more when I wake up cause I am falling asleep now
64 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Does Peppino actively enjoy using himself as a subject or does he just use it for marketing? What other things does he usually like to draw or make? Is he a wood carver? I can see him as a wood carver
Oh this is interesting; ive been stuck on this for a little bit. The needle swings between yes and no mid response lol. I think he enjoys being able to use his likeness for marketing, but less so for personal, artistic use. It feels obvious to use ur own face and/or name for ur business (one that u put so much blood sweat n tears in) but he doesnt feel compelled to draw himself. There is a level of self awareness(?) i think u have to have to even desire depicting oneself in art and i think he would be too focused on his failing business to start that process. He has more important things to do. But on the flipside; i think he would look at his own creations (for his business) and regard them as reminders of his failures. So he wouldnt have the best opinion of himself.
But! i think he would enjoy others depictions of his likeness. Despite his awkwardness, he enjoys putting on a show, he enjoys performing to some degree, he likes entertaining a crowd. He feeds off of positive attention (like most people do) even if it leaves him a little flustered. People take pictures of him and he smiles earnestly. He doesnt have the words for it, but it is grounding to see himself outside of his business and existing outside of his failures.
This obv gets better postgame as he gets more support for his business. But also, as Pepperman starts to take genuine interest in his form to use as a muse. It is the perfect balance of him enjoying being an art subject, without him having to Make the art. And tying his visage to a now profitable, successful shop, makes him feel a bit better about seeing his own caricature on the storefront. I can see him in Peppermans studio being convinced to draw himself on canvas, and instead of his usual caricature style, it is an attempt at realism with him waving hi towards the ācameraā, which is a nice contrast to Peppermans first picture of Peppino looking very blue and very sad. Pepperman is delighted lol look at his muse branching out !!!! Pepperman does not do this for anyone but he lets Peppino take the picture home with him (āBut you must promise to give me a copy of this to hang in my studio š PROMISE ME-ā)
And yes, Peppino wood carves bc Peshino is a wood carved toy!! Hes got some bits in him to let him move around w a simple wind up mechanism. I dont think Peppino would do this in his free time prior to postgame, but as he gets more (positive) time to himself, he starts to take up some easy crafts. Wood carving when hes home and watching tv, and sculpting/painting when hes at Peppermans studio.
#chattin#answered#peppino#heehee thank u so much for this; it really scratched a good itch on my brain#i am sorry but if u ask about Art and Depiction of the Self#well u are simply opening the doors for the autsim to crawl out#i did not add this bc i felt like it was already too lengthy#but the reason he even does the logo and peshino design is bc i hc him as a bit of an artist in his youth!!#so it was something that was nutured and encouraged#but at some point it shifted and it was no longer a form of expression#and simply a Skill he had to make life easier (why hire an artist if i can just do it myself?)#but he gets some of that love back postgame :)
40 notes
Ā·
View notes