#i just dont have the time and money to get it fixed
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I do think that if you're close to them, Mhin and Vere are the best at figuring out when you're upset or feeling melencholic. But they figure it out differently.
Mhin knows because they are observant and and have a habit of monitoring your behavior and file it away in their mind (and maybe notebooks whos to say really) so they have already identified your nervous/sad ticks before you let out a sigh. They would have ALOT of trouble just... to bring it up to you i think. So they would just... find ways to distract you. By leading you to an alleyway filled with cats and giving you little factoids about cats, plants in Eridia, or anything else. They might try to weave a metaphor in their exposé. Stuff like plants that survive the fogfall by shedding aerial parts and continuing on throughout a cimolex root system of roots and bulbs. And when you inevitably exclaim "like a potato?". They just turn away and chuckle. Before you can revel in this first of its kind achievement, they turn on their heals and invite you to dinner, "since you're so hungry", and they add that a couple of baked potatoes would suffice as payment for the day. You're much more animated as you follow along. Good. Thats how they like you.
Vere figures it out with his keen sense of smell. His way of asking you if you're ok is to remark on the suffocating stench of your misery (not the kind he could put you through. that is to say, the good kind, the only kind, you're his plaything". He also asks if this is your attempt at killing him. He assures you that it wouldn't come close, but he is bothered enough by it to remedy it personally.I think he would try to distract you too. By taking you to see his favorite performers (that luthist really does have talent) or activating your fight or flight instinct. Depends really. If it can be fixed by getting rid of someone, he takes care of it. Brings you their bloody fingers, to offset this uncharacteristic show of empathy. He can't have you going around thinking you'll always be in his good graces you know? If it can be solved with money, he steals it for you. Also brings you fingers, or hands you the coins in a bloody pouch. He fully expects gratitude btw.
Now the rest of the cast also catch on pretty quickly, mind you, i just think these two are the first .
As for Leander, he would also catch on quickly by interacting with you and picking up on subtle clues. If you spent enough time with him you develop a knack for knowing when his mask is thicker than usual. There is just, a glint in his eyes when he speaks about certain things that makes his usual demeanor look... unauthentic. And when you're upset, truly upset, his praticed lines irritate you. You might be tempted to yell at him to leave if he's just going to throw some half hearted words at you, even if those words are tailored to you and your responses.
Tbh i dont think that would ever be enough for him to open up completely, but he might give you a vague, roundabout inch. By, for instance, showing you something and vaguely mentioning that it was crucial in helping him become the man he is today, and that he holds it dear. That its a testament to his resilience, a trait he knows you share.
And while small, and practiced there is a hint of vulnerability there. You know that its the most he could ever give (at least at this point), and it warms your heart. Leander is happy to know that he could help ease your pain a little, but he looks at you and this valuable object and he makes a connection: both you and it have come to him at a time of great need. This connection places yet another green seal on your fate.
#MHIN MY LOVE TEACH ME ABOUT CATS AND PLANTS AND THINGS THAT SURVIVE#TBH Leander also self restraint to NOT basement-spouse you is this 🤏🏿 thin.#You wouldn't have to deal with any of this if you would just... spend your days on his bed#leander touchstarved#vere touchstarved#mhin touchstarved#touchstarved game#tangerine madness
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My phone has slowly been breaking for the last few weeks and now the inside touchscreen has a big black line and no touch input
Luckily I have a spare screen!
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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I just found a clinic nearby that does gender-affirming surgeries so top surgery might actually be a feasible thing for me in the near(ish) future
I found a job that seems to have all the stuff I liked from one of my last jobs without the extra bullshit I didn't (can't apply for it currently but that kind of job exists and that's reassuring)
Things might be starting to look up for me
#personal#i would have to use the money i saved up for college for the surgery and i dont know what kind of wait list they have going on#but i dont have enough money to get the kind of degree i want anyway here#so i might as well drop that money on something meaningful to me instead#not having much luck figuring out the getting back to therapy thing atm and im not going to assume these things on their own will fix me#but damn if they wouldn't help#and if i can get back into work i can move back in with my old roommate#(as far as i know my room's still available id just have to talk to him about it once ive got money to offer for bills again)#and with this kind of 'stay at home until there's work' job itll mean im not spending all my energy trying to survive the day#so i should still have some left over for doing the things i love doing (without having to worry about those things being able to make mone#god i havent felt this hopeful about my prospects in a long fucking time#maybe i can still make a place for myself
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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how do people get the energy together to work AND draw really nice polished oc content???
#i only work 4 days a week and i still dont have the energy for anything but sketches#and even then i went months between personal pieces!#i draw every day just not for myself ever <3#i have 2 isaiah prints im working on. mostly for me but ill offer them on kofi anyway#but like theyre taking so longgg#i wanna make that hunsaiah comic too#and ive been thinking about learning to mod by adding him into a game. just to experiment#but who! has! the! time!#esp when my husbands job is working on the computer and we only have 1#sighh#i should really set aside money to get a fresh live2d sub and make some small oc animations with it#i think that would fix me
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ah, so apparently lawson WAS williams' first choice but red bull didn't want to let him go incase they needed a midseason driver swap
#f1#do the swap rbr. atp mclaren will get constructors.#maybe even wdc if you dont fix the car#what is there to lose except some sponsorship money?#you can't just rely on 'max effect' when the competition has a rocketship and u have '96 volvo 850#idk if i rb'd something abt this earlier im literally so tired and out of touch with time#but i remember seeing a tweet about this yesterday#correct me if im wrong
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My mother confuses the fuck out of me
#i guess she's getting severance checks from her old job?#i mean fuck that's the least they could do after she worked there for 40 years#she only gets 900 a month from my dad's SSI survivor benefits#she went from saying we're struggling financially to suddenly offering to pay for shit i need#that kinda scares me because i think that means she's impulsively spending her savings. which could mean she thinks she's gonna die soon#she's 64 and my dad died at almost 63#like she helped my sister buy my niece a car. it's a 24 year old vehicle and only costed 4k and she paid 2k but 2k is a LOT to us#she said she's been saving my rent money to fix my car for the past couple of months on top of me saving for it#which means we definitely have the money to fix everything by now#but that's not happening all my tires still need to be replaced my ac doesn't work it's making clinking sounds#it stalled while i was driving the other day but turning it off and restarting it fixes it#anyway. the thing is I'm always sus about my mom offering shit.#she likes to hold shit over your head.#I'm very worried that she's gonna fix my car and then use that to control me in some way. because that's how it is every time.#but like.....it's better than not having the help. fuck.#i feel so privileged despite how broke and disabled i am. bc most disabled people dont have this to fall back on#the craziest thing is that the only reason we have this house is bc of my grandparents' inheritance#and neither of them went to college my grandpa was in the army#and my grandma only temporarily worked for jc penney as a bookkeeper#side note my 80 year old grandma was better with computers than most elderly people are today#just from that job? from what i know#when she died my family sold the family house and that's how we put the down payment on this house#which btw only costed 64k in 2012 apparently it's worth 175k now according to zillow#but like. how. i feel like my family being white and christian is the only reason we have all this privilege#i have a headache bye#.bdo
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#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so#yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode#my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn#she never shuts the fuck up#only cares about her own damn fucking problems#shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom#i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu#and you know what she fucking says?#well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer#first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat#and second of al#I WAS OUTSIDE#BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR#IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE#BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE#so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me#well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues#which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off#and my fucking “best friend” can barely give me the fucking time of day#leaves me on delivered for days at a time#and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me#but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help#like is that all i fucking am to you?#UGH#trying to breathe#im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up
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decided to hurt myself by editing all my flaws out of my selfies and then comparing it to what i actually look like lol
#the talkies#my friend asked me yesterday what plastic surgery i would get first if i had unlim money.#which is basically asking me what my biggest insecurities are lmao#anyways i say i would slim my thighs down which is not false#but what i so badly want to fix is my jaw. like if it wasnt so expensive and risky i would absolutely get jaw shaving surgey done#i just fucking hate how it looks and how big it is and how ugly it makes my face look#like did i really have to inherit my dads facial structure instead of my moms. really#anyways time to slim down my jaw through photo editing and myself feel sad and ugly lol dont wait up
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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🚬🧸🧃🎀
#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance#so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life#and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future#so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D#what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it#i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months#then i'll start my other 4 classes in january#i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt#if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may#if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless#i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education#bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it#also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move#i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try#i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule#mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit#but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight#and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal#like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days#and i havent had to nap#and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me#like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work#i should be napping rn. but im not tired#i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours#i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry#im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time#im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months#idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive#instead of sleeping my life away#its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now?#its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do?#i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money#yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today#my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?'#which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships#if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj#anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something#yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug'#i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that#i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!
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I kinda in the "recovery mood" so im not that active rn on internet, but this fucking cut-part storyboard (and Yang buff arms...for getting a little bit meat on Yang's arms and ponytail back i need to also get her extra tits size and ugly outfit...i cant have shit in this house without sacrificing something or make something already bad even MORE bad) got into my recommendations on yt and make me feel soooo much emotions that i need to rant into a wall.
LONG POST WARNING?
Before to start it i will honestly trying to tell what i kinda like.
+ Outside of making R/WBY feels like a fucking savers of this world, i kinda dig how sad and kinda depress this all feel at the start. This kinda stuff i want to see after vol8 - how everyone who survive is trying to live they new live and how second characters trying to hold everything together, but having a hard time. A grimm reality with almost no hope.
+ I kinda like how Winter VA was able to pull up her action? Like...i can hear that she was "grieving" a lost of her sister and that she dont feel like everything will going to be better.
+ WE STAN THIS ONE WOMAN WHO WAS TRYING TO DRAG SCHNEE. GOOD FOR HER, LET HER SPEAK!
+At least Winter remember about Penny...
And now EVERYTHING ELSE.
There is a thing - im fine with Winter and Qrow talking about in positive ways about R/WBY that they was trying to to everything that they can to save people. That they was a good huntress or something like that. They in grieving processe, "dont talk about the dead one in negative way", all that jazz. But everything that they talking about sounds like they was a new gods in this world. Like they the new savers of this world when...its not exactly true. The idea is there and this whole "you send the message to the world" can maybe works, but everything sound like they perfect people who save a whole world.
Hey guys! Are we going to...just ignore the fact that Salem now have a staff? Winter mention this but thats it. I dont know how many days its was, how hardcore we timeskip, but you telling me that Salem was just chilling in situation, when her enemy in the most vulnerable position and one of the main problem is no where to be found? Like...okay sure.
Even if i like this one lady who was calling out Schnees (again good for her, she have all right to talk like this with Willow)...i wish there was much more people who was disappointed or angry about Schnee or even angry about R/WBY. Just in general showing that people not only angry about that fact how hard they lives now but also trying to find the one who done this. Not everyone will be buss with trying to fix in what situation they are, somebody will trying to find who guilty. Its cant be the only one woman.
Okay...im maybe have a hard time to remember about vol8 and maybe i didnt rewatch vol7-8 in general that much and maybe its just me remembering things not correctly, but...is there was a whole problem to tell people the true about Salem? This whole "panic will bring grimm" thing? This was also a problem in the end of vol8 if i remember this correctly? Well, right now people not only know about Salem, but they also in extream situation with no homes, living in tents. There is no coming back to home, this is they lifes now. But no grimm problem in this epilogue. I dont even remember if Winter or Qrow mention about grimm?
Also about ignoring stuff - there is still some dead people outside of "dead R/WBY". I maybe miss something or didnt saw some detail but i dont remember some memorials for people who got kill by Cinder or solders who die protecting Atlas. I know Atlas in big mean place and "fuck military", but...they still trying to help?
There is this one moment with gravestone with "Dont Come Back", that Winter write on it. I know there is already two side of this thing (i dont believe anyone and AGAIN this whole miscommunication problem in team + both points is really fucking bad in different ways), but i just want to say that before jump into reading comments or what theory people have about this - i was having no clue what is this and for what was that. I know its storyboard and storyboards not always look with a lot of details, but i was so confuse for what this was done. Anyway, both points is bad and if Ironwood one thing is the real one - my fucking god can you stop having a beef with your own characters and remember that before Ironwood start to be cartoon man-man Winter was working with him for pretty long time?
Do you remember me talking about "both Winter and Qrow in grieving process"? Yeah i fucking lied, its only Winter. For some reasons they decide that the most depress man in this world, the most "I Am Shadow The Hedgehog" guy in the team (according to vol8) after loosing both his only nieces and a guy who was his kinda friend who help him in vol7 and the guy that YES was a antagonist for vol8, but from what i remember was also his kinda friend - absolutely positive! And not in the way that he trying to hold himself together mentally after loosing so many people all in short time, but just positive. Listen, i hate this whole "i wish Qrow was back to drinking", but this is the last guy who have to be THIS positive about everything. My guy can maybe not go into drinking speedrun for good reasons (like he dont want to drink anymore at least for his nieces or he just know that he will feel even worst if he will go drinking again, when he already have a hard time to hold himself together?), but this all feel so wrong and feel like he dont care about losing such a important people. (MY BIRDMAN YOU DESERVE BETTER ONES AGAIN)
YOU DO NOT BRING UP FAIRGAME INTO THIS. THIS IS NOT REAL. "The controversity is good" shit, can you leave FairGame shippers alone?
RAVEN IS THERE. I already knew that they will trying to redem her ass because she is a female villain in R/WBY and that scene from vol9, but...i have other questions. How...Yang is chill that Raven just...transporting them? How Ruby, who only a couple hours ago find out that her mother go on her last mission and that Raven is the one who was the last with her, is absolutely dont trying to do with her anything? How anyone is soooo chill that a bandit and maiden is there? If this was done only so RW/BY can got right to Qrow so we can have this whole...reuniting scene then WOW. There is a chance that this scene was done before they start to cut out two episode and start to working on crossover movie, but im not sure how those two episodes can fix this whole situation.
You know i maybe really touch-hungry person who love hugging, but...why nobody was trying to hug JR/WBY team after they got there? Like...Qrow is just looking at them like its norman friday after mission and the only one who at least react in some way was Nora (With a little bit Ren, Oscar have a strange reaction?). Like...you all was thinking for some time that those people is dead. You didnt know where are they, why nobody hug them or hold they hands or just in general dont trying to have a contact with them, like nobody have a "ARE YOU A REAL?" moments?
Just in general JR/WBY getting there feel...wrong? Like they teleport there and just...walk to look how this whole situation looking. Again, no hugs to Qrow or ORN, no bright reaction toward them? (i know, for R/WBY team its was maybe a couple days, you all was not sure if you even will get back to them. Also Jaune was in EA for 10-20 years. He didnt saw his team for 10-20 YEARS. Listen, im not the most biggest fan of him, but like...let at least him hug his team?). I get it when they didnt react at first, from what i can tell they didnt saw Qrow at first. But after they look at him or when ORN saw them? No? You can still end up this scene with Ruby face, i just feel like after Winter and Qrow speech such a emotions reaction can work pretty well as a ending. Like..."there is a struggle and hurt, but we dont give up" with "hope" coming back to them?
Im worry about Oscar that we ones again skip his character development off screen, but its hard to tell in 6 min long epilogue storyboard.
Still no moments with Maria and Pietro. I mix up this one old man (this one from vol8 that is also a faunus) with him and was question "why he is not in his spider-wheelchair?" but after re watching - there is just no Maria and Pietro. They still cant remember about them. They remember about Ace-Ops, Happy Huntresses (ALSO MAY IS THERE OOPS-), but fuck Pietro and Maria.
This whole thing in general didnt anser the most biggest question - how long its been after JR/WBY+Neo fell? This whole thing is not helping at all and no matter what time is canon - its will not save this moment. Its been a week/s? Qrow got from this really fucking fast and even this whole situations with people looking really too good actually. Its been a months (around 6+) or even a year? This is really bad.
ALSO something i find out only right now - MOTHERFUCKERS IS THERE. This is not...a bad thing, but now i knew that if vol10 will be a thing - they remember about both "sea boys" team and "READ A BOOK" team. Happy to see that they remember about the first one, but after finding our how "in book" team was written - im not ready to see Coco team AT ALL.
In term of fanservise, if we going to look at this from perspective of how a fan will react on this if its was a really epilogue that they didnt cut out - oh boy its working pretty fucking good and probably if this was the ending for vol9 - i feel like people would talk about this season a lot more because after the ending of vol9 even some of hardcore fans was not talking about this whole vol that much.
But in term of writing - THANK GOD THIS WAS DELETED. Sure its kinda emotional epilogue, that hitting fans in right place, but giving us pretty much moments thats dont need to be there or working not that great. I heard that they will try to make this into volume 10, which is....knowing how they dont like "kill they darling" or deleting content that they think is really cool or prioritise moments that have to be cut over moments that needed to be on screen...i have zero hopes that they will re-write this scene. Maybe they will delete Raven because right now with episodes that we got in vol9 she just...out of place there.
But we will see. There is still no greenlight info...
#rwde#also FCKING HASHTAG BEGGING FROM C/RW/BY I FUCKING CANT#Listen if i was hardcore fan and saw that other shows got new seasons-#-but for my favorite show there is still no info and the creators begging for fans help?#Thats sound depressing! Like THIS IS NOT GOOD THING#Also yeah i saw other shows that will get greenlight but your main moneycow show is still in question?#I dont have any problem with other shows (i never watch them so i cant even say anything about them) but its like...#Priority? You in shit situation there is no time for multiple shows???#But not gonna lie - its still will feel depressing if this show will survive#Like...remember infin/ity tra/in or other shows when fans was spamming everywhere (by themself!) for really good show to get a new season?#Or at least a one final episode? How creators have to fight for they shows getting one more season or one more episode-#But if this show will survive in this company for one more season or even a multiple seasons? Not because somebody just decide to-#-cut a season or “no more that two season” rule or some censoring shit but because they fix they money management?#Or even worst - this all fake and new season is already greenlight and they just trying to milk more money?#This is...this is truly sad reality....
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