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#i just dont feel like i have anyone i can properly talk to about this
dinopant · 10 months
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i think.. im lonely lol
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taikk0 · 2 years
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JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS
#IVE ALWAYS PRONOUNCED T'S WITH MY TONGUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX IT ITS BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG#BUT ONE DAY. I WILL PRONOUNCE MY T'S SO GOOD YOULL THINK IM A WHITE PERSON#WHAT SUCKS TOO IS THAT IM BILINGUAL WHILE ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK TAGALOG MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT SO I-#-HAVE NO PROPER WAY OF PRACTICING IT BC FILIPINOS PRONOUNCE T'S DIFFERENTLY BC OF THE LANGUAGE AND UNLESS IM IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING-#-SETTING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY 💔💔#even worse i slur over my words all the time. i have a stutter. i have VERY frequent voice cracks and when i try to suppress them i sound-#-ver odd. PLUS ADHD#idk if adhd might be one of the causes or of it gets added to the pile but dude i actually need help 💀💀#but another problem is i dont think anyone would see the point in it#i communicate just fine its just that i have so much trouble communicating verbally (vocally?) in a way that isnt unnatural and in a way-#-that properly articulates what i want to say and how i say it. often i have so much trouble showing varied emotion to prove a point when-#-im referring or talking about something that isnt reactionary#LIKE DUDE WHY IS TALKING SO HARD 💔ALL PEOPLE CAN TALK WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ALL PF THIS THIS SUCKS#which might be why i prefer writing what i want to say bc unlike talking the way i speak has nothing to do with it. i get given time to-#-think. and with an adhd brain writing what you want to say is so much better because typing it out involves the conscious decision to-#-type it all out and it acts as a filter#BLEFGGGH SORRY I KEEP BLABBERING ON THIS WSS SUPPPSED TO BE A SILLY LITTLE POST IDK WHY I WENT HAM IN THE TAGS#anyways umm yeah i dont like talking. i like communicating and maybe socializing tho. but not talking. does that make sense???#there r also times where i straightup cant speak at all. i want to speak and i want to say things but my brain feels too busy or ig blank-#-but not empty and i cant form words or sentences and all i have are thoughts and feelings#anyways i think asl is neat and i want to learn it not just for my benefit but also for accessibility#also filipino sign language if im up for it#man there is something wrong w my brain 💀#mikyomix rambles#yeah this one was a true ramble but only in the tags
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blueslight · 2 years
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#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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bl00d1nk · 4 months
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ꜱʟᴀꜱʜᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴꜱ; ᵈᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ
✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:
​🇨​​🇭​​🇦​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇸​: brahms heelshire, patrick bateman, herbert west
​🇼​​🇦​​🇷​​🇳​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​​🇸​: slashers ofc, brahms lack of hygiene, brahms being possesive, brahms stalking you basically,patrick being a dick, vauge nsfw in patricks, dead people obvi, body snatching, also not read over so if theres any mistakes whoopsies
​🇦​​🇺​​🇹​​🇭​​🇴​​🇷​​🇸​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​: first time writing for slashers omds + writing for the first time properly in like a year so teehee also lemme know if you want this for other slashers :PPP also i tried to write this v gn but idk if i acc did so pls gimme suggestions on how to keep everything in my writing inclusive plsss!!! also if ur wondering what "w/" means it just means with im just too lazy to write with teehee
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¬𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙷𝙼𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚁𝙴¬
𖦹 stinky
𖦹 i dont mean that in a funny way like this man fucking REEKS
𖦹 this means you will have to get him to wash himself
𖦹 only perk of that is showering n bathing w/ him, its a real big part of your relationship
𖦹 he likes it because hes close to you and it gives him a lot of comfort and feels really cared for if you wash his hair for him + likes the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp
𖦹 he likes leaving things he thinks you'll like all around the house
𖦹 he found a crusty ass ring he'll think you'll like?KABOOSH!!!!! its on the bathroom counter
𖦹 he also doesn't take too kindly to anyone you talk to that isn't him, he gets really jealous n upset over that
𖦹 this makes him extremly bratty unfortunately
𖦹 prepare for him being in the walls and banging on them for hours on end to piss you off and placing that stupid doll everywhere just to get a scare out of you
𖦹 will literally refuse to do anything for you
𖦹 buttt you can make it up to him by telling him theres nothing to worry about n making him a wee sandwich + giving him kisses, easy peasy squeeze the lemon (im really hoping some of yous got that reference)
𖦹 brahms also likes cuddling
𖦹 a lot
𖦹 you're sitting down reading or on your phone? not without him on your lap nuzzing into your neck having a wee nap
𖦹 you might end up with dead legs by the end of it but hey! it was worth it
𖦹 probably......
𖦹 he just stares at you a lot but dw! not in a creepy way (from his perspective at least), he's just admiring your beauty
𖦹 really likes it when you read to him + it puts him to sleep
𖦹 also loves it when you brush his hair, surprise surprise it also puts him to sleep
𖦹 CLINGY!!!!!!!!! so very very very very CLINGY
𖦹 if you leave the room for a second he will follow doesnt matter if he knows where you're going he will follow
𖦹 gets so upset if you leave during cuddling even if its to pee
𖦹 he will whine n grasp n tug at what you're wearing in an attempt to get you to stay w/ him
𖦹 the time he spends following n watching you could be stalking atp
𖦹 seperation anxiety? he knows her, very well
𖦹 will cry if you leave the house until you come back, n the moment you do he practically jumps you, crying and wailing into your shoulder begging you not to leave him ever again
𖦹 will have no intentions of letting go of you for the rest of the day
𖦹 he also really like sleeping in the same bed w/ you
𖦹 he likes that he knows you're there, you can tuck him in, read to him, cuddle him, give him forehead kisses n comfort him in case he has a nightmare or vice versca
𖦹 n e ways 8.5/10 -1 for stinkyness, -0.5 for well him being him ig
¬𝙿𝙰𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙱𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽¬
𖦹 before i get into this one i actually hate patrick bateman w/ a burning passion for very obvious reasons so i struggled HARD w/ this
𖦹 alr so we all saw that les mis poster in the opening scene so he deffo would bring you along to watch any high end musicals w/ him
𖦹 SKINCARE!!!!!!!!! he has a whole ass ROUTINE which he will explain to you in great detail and explain why the water has to be a certain temp n why this needs to be put on this way n that needs to be put on that way
𖦹 would let you do skincare on him but beware that he will check the entire ingredients list before you put it on his face
𖦹 its rather boring to listen to but he looks so proud of himself while explaining it, how could you not listen?????
𖦹 he spoils you rotten like its acc so bad
𖦹 you wanted those fancy ass pairs of shoes? they're already in your hands
𖦹 you want a reservation at dorsia? you've got one
𖦹 you literally want anything in the world? you'll have it before you even know you want it
𖦹 he obviously doesn't like people apart from himself so when he found the slightest bit of attraction to you he immediatley became infatuated with you and your life
𖦹 why were you making him feel this way? how were you making him feel this way? was it sorcery? was he going insane? yeah
𖦹 suprise suprise this did lead him to asking you out which led you up to here getting whatever you want
𖦹 hes a jealous fucker i can tell you that
𖦹 especially when he sees you within a 6ft distance of paul allen
𖦹 he storms over and makes some passive aggresive comment toward the two of you and then tries to keep himself cool w/ some swanky inner monologue and eventually drags you away because he "needed to talk to you"
𖦹 spoiler alert, he didn't
𖦹 all this leads to is some rather lewd acts back at his apartment as he tries to reassure himself that he's much better than paul allen and taunts you asking if you think paul allen could make you feel this way
𖦹 rants on to you about his music collection and explains how he thinks this song led them to stardom and someone was an idiot for not releasing this and that as a single and not putting these songs in this album and yadayadaya
𖦹 great if you actually are bothered to listen to him rant on for ages horrific if you aren't, gets quite offended if you don't show much interest in his music
𖦹 i get if if you don't tho, its really something...
𖦹 we all know this man is a complete germaphobe so be absolutley horrifically aware of that unless you fancy getting yelled at
𖦹 he love love LOVESS watching texas chainsaw massacare with you, he loves it when you twos just sit there in silence and cuddle while watching people get brutally attacked n chased, how romantic!
𖦹 finds it funny when you grimace or go 'oh my god' at any brutal scene in it
𖦹 touchy
𖦹 v e r y t o u c h y
𖦹 at any public event he always has a hand snaked around your waist or has his arm linked in yours
𖦹 even in is apartment he still has that hand snaked aorund your waist
𖦹 not a fan of kissing bc he's a germaphobe but because he knows were you've been most of the time he dislikes it a little less
𖦹 prefers giving forehead kisses tho as its quick and much more hygenic than lips
𖦹 god that was tough to write but overall, 7.5/10, -2.5 for being himself. i hate him too much to give him a better rating so ja
¬𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙴𝚁𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃¬
𖦹 i am so horrendously excited to write this because for the last like 4 days i have not stopped thinking about reanimator, i eat sleep breath the franchise, and herbert west is such a giggle so teehee
𖦹 alright if you're not in the science field or have any connection to dan hes probably not going to take an interest in you as you're not one of his areas of interest
𖦹 if you are in the category of herbert wests interests well done! he tolerates you
𖦹 like patrick would notice how weird he felt around you and would probably blame it on 'primal urges' ew
𖦹 he would most likely ignore them until he can't, and it eventually all bubbles over and he just can't resist inviting you to his basement of wonders
𖦹 he just watches you intently the entire time your there much like brahms does, also not in a creepy way (in his eyes) just admiring you
𖦹 he probably goes on a rather detailed explanation of his work and what he did to get here
𖦹 if you ever feel a lil faint abt all that stuff he just puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder cuz hes a lil awkward
𖦹 lowkey enlists you alongside dan to go steal bodies and experiment on them
𖦹 if you ever get attacked by one of the re-animated he literally doesn't leave your side, mainly to see the severity of your injuries to examine the strength of the reanimated and the other tiny bit because he cares for you
𖦹 has shit talking sessions about dr hill w/ you, it mainly consists of him getting rather heated over the fact he plagiarizes his work and ya know the whole 6-12 mins thing
𖦹 is very clingy with you when dr hill is around as he doesn't want him to make any creepy ass remarks about you so he sticks to your side like he sticks to his research
𖦹 really appreciates is when you cook for him as he's a total basement dweller and doesn't leave it for food
𖦹 so lets say you actually did make something for him he would be really surprised and would be rather amused that you care enough to make him something and he'll gladly eat it
𖦹 also doesn't sleep a lot, so if and when he comes up from the basement he will be taking a nap on you
𖦹 speaking of him taking naps, he'll just plonk on top of you when he wants to take a nap so
𖦹 yay!!!
𖦹 like patrick with music herbert will rant on about science to you
𖦹 at any time, like you could be in bed ready to finally sleep and then he starts rambling about the R.E.M cycle and how benificial sleep is for the body yet he gets absolutley NONE
𖦹 isn't very good at expressing affection for you bc he's herbert so those naps and his rants are actually his way of showing he rlly likes you
𖦹 kissing isn't his favourite thing in the world bc of germs and stuff, so he presses quick kisses to your forehead, nose and cheek such a gentleman
𖦹 but, when herberts all whiny and annoyed at life he will be down for a cheeky make out sesh
𖦹 he gets very flustered after it which is pretty funny to watch so he usually distracts himself with science
𖦹 i genuinely couldn't tell you if he would use petnames or not
𖦹 will use your name 99.9999999999% of the time, just maybe will call you darling
𖦹 just maybe.....
𖦹 n e ways dunno what else to write so 8.9/10, -1.1 for being a body snatcher ig
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omds that was so hard and I was gonna add more characters but i kinda got lazy but PLEEEAAAASSEEEE lemme know what you guys thought ty :3
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iznyangwoni · 2 months
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EASY TO LOVE | chapter twelve !
warnings: smut! mdni
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After five days of not attending a single class, you finally found the courage to get out of your room. You did indeed fuck things up last friday and that ended up with your phone being smashed on the floor and not being able to leave the house for three days.
If it werent for your mother getting worried about you not replying to her text you would’ve probably stayed there another full week. But now everything was fine, kind of. You were staying at your mom’s house, you had just bought a new phone and Wonyoung and Moka were being sure to stay next to you at all times.
You can feel curious eyes on you as yoh walk in the hallway, and you cant tell if its because you have something on your face or because you’re repeating an outfit.
“Y/n.” You hear Jungwon call you, you turn around. He must’ve just finished practice since he’s still wearing some sweats and his hair and stuck on his forehead.
You dont even have time to say anything as he immediately takes your wrist, taking you with him to the locker room. Thankfully each person of the dance class has a personal locker room, so there’s no fear of anyone getting in. He locks the door and looks at you, you’ve never seen him so mad. “Where have you been?”
“Why do you care?” “Y/n.” You sigh, you’ve thought a lot about what to do with him. You obviously dont feel like playing anymore, so many things ruined this game of yours by now that if Jungwon were someone else you would’ve already let him go. But thats the fact, you cant let Jungwon go. You enjoy his presence and god, the way he kisses you…
“Jungwon i dont owe you any explanation, now can i go to class?” You get closer to the door but Jungwon stops you, his hand going through his hair. “No. Y/n do you understand that i havent heard from you for almost a week? You cant yell at me to not talk to you or touch you and then vanish!”
“You’re getting attached.” You cant even look at him in the eyes, you’re tired of all of this and wish you never spoke to him that day months ago. You need to push him away before this turn out badly. “Dont tell me you arent.” He gets closer to you, his fingers under your chin so you can look at him. “You missed me, didn’t you?” He asks and you chuckle sarcastically at that.
Missed him? You might have missed the way he touches you, but you didn’t miss him as a person. Its not so easy for you to just get attached, especially after what you found out. “You’re only going to bring me even more troubles.” as you say that Jungwon’s hands slowly start to wonder on your body, but you still look at him in the same cold way.
“I thought that was the exciting part.” he gets even closer, his nose brushing with yours before he moves down on your face, giving gentle bites to you. You try not to get distracted, but your heart is already beating so hard its becoming hard to. “You dont know how much i missed your pretty self.” His voice comes out lower than usual, even a bit raspy, it makes your whole body chill.
This is when you realize that he’s not any different from you. You’ve been manipulating and controlling each other this whole time, and now you cant let him go the same way he’s obsessed with you. You close your eyes when he starts biting your neck, his right hand on your thigh.
“Jungwon.. whatever this is… it needs to be over.” But not even you can believe your words, and he’s barely hearing you by the way his hands are slowly going up your thighs. “And what exactly is this, pretty? We’re not dating, we’re barely friends, nor you’ve ever made me touch you properly. We cant stop something that doesn’t exist.”
you feel his lips coming back to your cheek, before he bites your lips. You open your eyes slightly, he’s right after all, theres nothing to stop in the first place. you’re already breathing quite heavily, his hands resting under your skirt. you look at his lips before leaning in, he catches them in a kiss immediately, pushing you back to the door. Your hands on his shoulders meanwhile his grip on your thighs gets stronger. “Good girl. You look so pretty when you listen to me.”
He picks you up, your legs intertwining on his waist, his hands under you ass. He then sits you down on the washer, thank god this school is so rich to afford that. You moan when you feel his teeth sink in your tongue and then bottom lip, one thing about this boy is that he loves to bite. “Tell me if you ever want to stop…” He whispers.
Jungwon slowly goes down, your skirt is short enough that it makes it easier for him to slide his hands under it, his fingers playing with the hem of your underwear. You’re against the idea of doing anything in public, but this is a closed room, with no windows or cameras, you can let yourself relax for now. You feel his bites on your thighs, which makes you giggle a little, he really loves your legs.
Jungwon leaves a couple of marks on the inside of your thighs, your hand on your mouth so that the sounds dont get out too loud. Before you can even register what is really happening, he pulls your panties down and opens your legs completely. Your free hand goes to his hair and he gets up to give you another kiss.
“We dont have time for the full thing..” He says between kisses, his fingers already tracing your opening. Its embarassing how wet you are just from teasing. He then slides his first finger in, making me whine through the kiss, he doesn’t move it immediately, but you can feel his thumb already going to circle your clit. You moan, trying your best to not be too loud, its crazy how he already made you forget what you were talking about.
You bite his shoulder as your head comes to rest on the crook of his neck, he keeps pleasuring you slowly, pumping his finger in and out before sliding in another one. “Fuck.. i can barely fit two in..” You close your eyes, your hands still in his hair meanwhile he kisses your head and cheeks, whispering so much dirty stuff in your ear.
“Jungwon.. am close” He goes faster at your words, wet sounds all over the room, your teeth sinking on his shoulder are most likely going to leave a mark. “Let go pretty, cum on my fingers.” I doesnt take you long before you actually do, his fingers full of your juices. Your legs are still shaking when he puts your panties back on, Jungwon kisses your lips once more before taking a step back.
You take a few seconds to regain your composure, your head still dizzy from what just happened. Jungwon laughs as he sees your red cheeks, finding you very much adorable. “Fucking asshole,” You breathe out, looking at him as he changes his clothes. “I hate how good you are at distracting me.”
He laughs again, shaking his head. You finally find enough balance to get up, Jungwon looks at you, shirt in his hand meanwhile he is wearing none. “Am i distracting you?” “Dickhead.” “You’re gonna run out of insults.” You roll your eyes annoyed, how can he be so damn infuriating and hot at the same time you still dont know.
You wash your face and make yourself presentable again before going towards the door. He looks at you with a smirk on his face, it makes you want to punch him so damn hard. “Call me when you’re feeling stressed, pretty. Looks like it worked taking your mind off of some things.” “Oh fuck off.”
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author’s note hehe today we’re getting two chapters to thank you all for 100 followers!! i didnt even have this account until last week so this is so so crazy to me. Once again thank u all sm for the support <3
TAGLIST @unhakki @firstclassjaylee @en-verse @mxxninthesky @seunghancore @heeseungmyman @jiamini @yoonzns @wonswondrland @50-husbands @leaderwonim @aloloveswonie @f3rraribabez @jwonistic @ribbioniki @kyanmeai @ilovejungwonandhaechan @nat123c @yjwsgf @gyuvision @realrintaro @glxzillx @qettalos @rairaiblog @sakanelli-afc @nodiotter @haohaoshoe @vixensss
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skythealmighty · 7 days
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why am i just now finding out about thisisnotawebsitedotcom i feel a little stupid.. then again i dont have the Book of Bill so maybe im lucky to know about it ???
#rocket talk #gravity falls #miss this show. anyway twink cipher fuckign jumpscared me
(3 notes)
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👓 the-nerdiest-glasses Follow
Why Flatland counts as an object show: an essay
Keep reading
🔧 warp-pipe-sfx Follow
Why Flatland does NOT count as an object show: a rebuttal
Keep reading
⛓️ chainsaw-massacres Follow
why flatland isnt an object show: its a book + movie you assholes
#this argument is fucking stupid its just flatland
(3,821 notes)
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🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020 asked: Im going to tear apart your circuitboard until its broken irreparably
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
lol ok have fun w that 👍
also do u know any recipes for roasted pumpkin seeds the internets failing me rn and im cooking a big dinner for me and my bf
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Oh yeah sure https://www.jessicagavin.com/how-to-roast-pumpkin-seeds/#wprm-recipe-container-35845
🔘 join-my-evil-polycule-deactivated08142020
Wait why am I telling you this go die I hate you
🌈 super-rainbow-epic-computer Follow
thx for the help!
☝i-date-iconic-posts Follow
Date of origin: November 3rd, 2021
(216,025 notes)
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❌ mephonex-deletes-your-favs Follow
~~Welcome to MePhoneX deletes your favs!!~~
I'm mod Xav (the only mod rn - -"), here to cause trauma to your favorite characters :)! PLEASE keep in mind that submissions will take a while to get to, because I have to photoshop out the limbs + background or even completely recreate someone's object if they're transparent!
The background flag is in the header and the X (recreated from an image of MePhoneX) I overlay on top is the profile picture if you want to make your own :) just @ this blog and I'll reblog it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❌~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RULES ABOUT SUBMISSIONS:
NO INANIMATE INSANITY CONTESTANTS. I would like to avoid Apollo's Dodgeball thanks (plus it's insensitive)
No algebralien or algebralien-adjacent characters! I love those guys too I get it but I honestly don't have a good method of 'deleting' them planned. Feel free to do it on your own time though!
If someone asks me to take down a submission with them in it I will do it without questions. This is for a variety of reasons, but I think you get it.
Alright, that's it! Have fun :)
#not xed out #mod xav #pinned post #your fav is #your fave is #mephone #mephonex #inanimate insanity #ii2 finale
(681 notes)
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📁 sticky-note-hit-post Follow
has anyone else wondered why this spaghetti code webbed site can connect across DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? or is that just me
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🦀 thesamepictureofbaxtereveryday Follow
follow for the same picture of my crab every day!!!!! look at him :D
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(3 notes)
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anonymous asked: greeny how does it feel to be technically a higher being than most other people on the site
🟢 greenyguy Follow
sir this is a wendys
#i didnt order an existential crisis today :(
(37,102 notes)
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🎤 screamintothemic Follow
todays liveblog!! B)
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
knife and suitcase made it to the finale!! hell yeah so proud of them
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
balloons talk with suitcase didnt go so well :/ i hope they can get some alone time without anyone else so they can like talk properly next time
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
mepad???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
oh i think the finale challenge is happening
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
baseball looks worried but lightbulb's brushing him off :|
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
ojs backing away from paper??? wh
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WHJDT THE FUCK
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
WAIT I HAVENT SEEN SOAP IN A WHILE WHERE IS SHE???
🎤 screamintothemic Follow
OH GOD
#mics ramblings #SOAP???!??
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anonymous asked: evil woman are so hot <3 i will do whatever you want queen
🌐 dr-who-could-never Follow
Awwww, this means a lot to me, anon! Could you find Film Reel for me and doxx him? That would be really helpful <3
#He's been evading me #It's really annoying #Hard to take over the world when I have to worry about him 🙄
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🥄 only-a-spoonful Follow
WHY DO I KEEP GETTING SENT ASKS ABOUT PREGNANCY?!
#I'M GOING TO QUIT TUMBLR AT THIS RATE.
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📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
if this fuckass hand keeps showing up at the edge of my vision i'm going to hit something
📗 journal-of-secrets Follow
#maybe hes in love with you
what the hell is wrong with you.
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thebibliosphere · 8 months
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Hi! How are you doing? Sorry to bother you, but i dont know many scottish people and idk who to talk to about this book I found on audible. It's called Imogène, by french author Charles Exbrayat. Do you know him /the book? I've started reading it but I had to pause because, while being sold as a "humorous spy story" I find the protagonist, a "very proudly scottish" woman, to be... an offensive caricature? Like she acts like a fool, honestly. This book contains some interesting points about sexism (it was published in 1959), and ridiculous british habits (such as employees forced to give money for princess anna's birthday or being socially scorned). I'm sure the shared dislike / distrust the protagonist and her british colleagues feel are (were?) realistic. But she is so extra, and the story keeps telling how lonely she is, even after working 20 years in london. She has No friends, most acquitances dont talk to her for various motivations, her bosses hates her ... idk I feel this book is actually mocking scottish people? Or scottish women??? I was SO there for a "strong woman protagonist who gives cutting remarks to her boss or peers", but this looks wrong. Idk. I didnt know whom ask for inputs. Maybe i'm reading too much into it. Feel free to ignore this mega rant. Have a good day!
I think cultural and historical context and time of publication-- which was almost 70 years ago --are important factors to take into consideration when we look at fiction through our current expectations.
I can’t speak to the book as I’ve never read it, but speaking as a Scots woman who worked for an English publishing house for a while, being made to feel alienated by my boss and others due to being Scottish was unfortunately still something going on in 2011.
I’d get lots of “Oh but you sound so eloquent” remarks regarding my thinned-out accent (something I did on purpose to avoid being told to “speak properly” which was also something I heard a lot in school if I ever used my native Scots language instead of “Queen’s English.”) and one time my boss referred to me as “their civilized Scot” to an American author, whose Scottish romance book I was supposed to be fixing the dialogue on.
The phrasing was along the lines of, “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to understand her. Joy is our civilized Scot.”
The author laughed and made another derogatory comment about how they just loved Scottish accents even if it was unintelligible a lot of the time. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to lose my first career job.
I kept my mouth shut a lot in that job.
In that regard I could very well empathize with the character being lonely and not engaging with anyone, even after 20 years.
The proud Scottish woman can be a bit of a caricature, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is intended as mocking.
Again, cultural/historical context matters.
I wasn’t alive in 1959, but I know there was a lot of Scottish media about the time that leaned into the stubbornness and pride of Scots women both for humor and to make societal commentary on the fact that women were strong and more independent than they’d ever been following two world two and a lot of men weren’t happy about it and wanted them to go back into their boxes. As a result the mouthy, proud Scots woman became a mockable caricature that turned women into shrill, over proud scolds.
Get back in your box or we’ll make fun of you, basically.
So is this book being mocking, or is it employing popular tropes of the time, knowing that audience will understand what it means and that the female protagonist is being subversive despite what others expect from her?
I can’t say. Again, haven’t read it. It could be utter dogshit and making total fun of my culture. But I do think when looking at older media we need to put our thinking caps on and think, “How would the audience of the time, 1959, have viewed and engaged with this?”
Expecting a “strong female protagonist” as we know it from media today isn’t going to work with media that’s almost 70 years old.
Hell, the “strong woman protagonist” wasn’t even something any piece of media could agree on when I was growing up in the 90s.
Times change. Literary tropes and preferences change. It helps to keep that in mind.
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bobosbillionsknives · 2 months
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It's one of my biggest headcanons ever that Vash does NOOOT like his birthday dude I just can't believe it...Knives however. Biggest birthday enjoyer ever. He is the special birthday boy. 🤗🤗🤗
Knives usually leaves Vash alone but Vash KNOWS Knives is going to make an effort to show up on their birthday and it stresses him out so bad. Especially if the July incident was on their birthday...that would leave horrible memories for him. 😭 Not to mention how painful remembering his first birthday with Rem would be. Plus Knives would act so bitchy about it like wooow dont even want to see your own brother on your birthday wow. I get it I'm just the worst ever ..🥀 Vash would be so over it.
I feel so strongly that Vash is the introvert while Knives is the extrovert. Knives self isolates out of fear and disgust of humans but he secretly thrives while talking to others. Especially if they have strong opinions he can argue against (definitely a debate bro). If Knives had a normal childhood he would've loved big crowds, he has absolutely no social awareness or shame . Or filter. He'd talk to anyone who'd listen. Knives drives himself absolutely insane with his own isolation. All he really wants is social connection, something he's convinced himself is impossible with humans. That's why he's so fixated on getting Vash to stay, he feels Vash is the only person he can actually talk to. Vash on the other hand, would do anything for 5 minutes alone. He is constantly pushing away Milly, Meryl, and even Wolfwood. He cannot let anyone know him beyond his silly guy persona. He especially doesn't like being celebrated (doesn't think he deserves it. 😂😂😂) He is constantly trying to skip out on the parties towns people throw for him, leaving without saying goodbye. (He does like getting drunk tho...makes talking easier) He'd never EVER share his birthday with anyone. Especially not Wolfwood or the girls. Knives however, would tell EVERYONE !!! (like how the entire Gung Ho Gun knew Knives had a brother, but Meryl had no idea Vash did. I think Knives loves talking about himself and his tragic past, painting himself as the forever victim to absolutely anyone who'd listen. To Vashes absolute horror 😭.) Vash is constantly drained from forcing himself to perform socially. He loves people and talking to them but he just needs like. 8 hours of alone time to properly function. That's why he gets so bitchy with everyone sometimes lol. She just needs a naaaaap omg 🤦‍♂️. But he feels guilty for being snippy and tired so he'll force himself to be social anyway. Which makes it worse. Love hiiim !!!! 😍 Either way they're both hurting themselves when they behave like this.
Knives is definitely the yapper while Vash just listens. I feel like Vash would appreciate not having that pressure to constantly respond. Even if Knives can be overbearing, I do think they enjoy each other's company. When they aren't... trying to murder each other. Nobody knows him like Knives does, it would almost be relieving not having to pretend to be happy all the time. He can perfectly morally justify being as mean to Knives as he wants to be !! And he wouldn't admit it, but he does enjoy listening to Knives complain about nothing. He thinks it's funny. Knives is just happy to be with someone he's deemed worthy of his time. He views Vash as his equal, someone he actually trusts to confide in. They are the opposite and also the same in every way life is so beautiful I love these guys.
It would also just be such a cute subversion of audience expectation if Knives, the self proclaimed people hater, was a people person. I think that's sooo interesting and makes so much sense with the context of his desperation for the approval of humans when he was a child. I think kid Knives would've tried to argue that celebrating something everyone goes through is pointless, but would love all the attention anyway. Even be a bit resentful that it was Vashes birthday too if he didn't seem to appreciate the attention as much. As he got older hed mellow out and warm up to the idea of having a birthday and sharing it. Mostly as an excuse to talk to Vash and make everything about himself again. Lol. Plus I think he likes organizing parties. His dream is to have that sweet 16 fantasy the humans in the old world used to have. He actually wants to be normal is the thing. They both do.
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lexithwrites · 1 month
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we need more (nsfw?) prongsfoot
yes thank you ive been hoping someone brings up prongsfoot okay:
i feel like their relationship will almost always start as them experimenting for the first time at like 15/16 with the same gender, james is curious and sirius is curious and they trust each other so why not? then they just,,,cant stop kissing? like effie knocks on the door telling them dinner is ready and thats what breaks them apart and its something they dont talk about for a few years, then they're roommates in uni and they're going to parties and meeting people and sirius is a bit more sure of his sexuality, he's always been super confident, whilst james sticks with girls as he's a bit shyer around guys (plus he has a crush on sirius and only wants to kiss sirius) and then at one point they do seven minutes in heaven and they're in a closet together and sirius is like its just a game jamie no harm in a kiss and once again, they're making out, but this time they're more experianced and know what they like so james is having his neck kissed, sirius is having his hair tugged, and then they're interrupted and its just frustration at that point. i feel like they have an awkward night where they're both home and in their beds and just thinking about the other one and the super romantic thing happens where they both get up to knock on the others door and meet in the hallway and its just KISS. they 100% have sex, idk how far they go but its the most intimate theyve felt with anyone and its intense.
nsfw warning for this part:
they try and discuss mid make out what they'd prefer to do and since james has never bottomed in his life and sirius has a couple times they decide that way is the easiest, and then sirius is blowing james and hes in pure heaven its because its sirius that its the best because he loves him and also sirius is great at sucking dick, and then james tries to do it and sirius guides him so sweetly but then james gets into it and gags and drools and sirius is like 'oh i can ruin this man' and then sirius is fingering himself for james and turns out he's been doing that frequently so james is lying back on the bed, sirius on top of him, watching him open himself up and just wondering how tf they got here but then sirius is sitting on his cock and he shuts up. sirius is that kinda dick rider that grabs the headboard or someones hands and just goes for it rodeo style, james is moaning so loud too and its turning sirius on even more because wtf he's so vocal this never happens, and james is like steaming up his fucking glasses, then james is flipping them over and fucking into sirius properly and now sirius is the loud one, its just messy and fun and they're laughing but panting and tugging at each other's hair and skin and its HOT and the cum right after the other before james rolls onto his back and they both just lie there sweaty and satisfied and sirius lights up a cigarette and they share it before actually turning over and talking about wtf happened and sirius admits that he's always fancied james and james admits he fancies him too and they're kinda like well,,,maybe this could be a regular thing and then sex turns into dates then sex and then eventually they're just holding hands all the time and calling each other boyfriend AHH I LOVE THEM
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Sick or injured Ponyboy head canons?
Do I have any head canons that involve Pony suffering? Of course I do anon!
he is sooooo clingy when he's sick, bro is a koala
he does try to hide when he's sick or injured though
before he goes to anyone for help, he just takes a ton of aspirin and hopes for the best
he doesn't get sick often, so when he does it's like the end of the world
Darry and Soda can just..tell when he's not feeling well. They can just tell by how he acts that smth is up
he'll be all sluggish and slurs his words like he's drunk
if he's sick in his sleep he just clings onto the person closest to him (usually Soda, sometimes Darry or Johnny)
If he gets hurt though, like jumped, he tries to keep that to himself
He thinks admitting that he needs help or that he even got hurt means he's weak
he's seen/helped darry and the gang patch up wounds enough after rumbles to know how to deal with his own injuries so sometimes he just fixes it himself
If it's really bad and he absolutely cannot do anything about his injury, he'll go to Johnny first
Johnny then convinces him to go to his brother's
Soda isn't the best with patching up wounds though so he goes to darry for getting fixed up and Soda is there for moral support
Pony also goes to Two-bit sometimes if he doesn't want to talk to Darry at that moment
i dont think he'd go to Dallas unless he HAD to, doesn't want Dally to see him weak/vulnerable
Wouldn't go to Steve even if his life depended on it lmfao
If he's dating someone (curly) and is hurt/sick, he prob wouldn't tell them until later when everything is better
If he gets injured in front of the gang or curly though they'd definitely do their best to get him help (he's the youngest, everyone loves him)
Pony has definitely like broken a bone or smth and just DIDN'T tell anyone until it was all healed (it wasn't healed properly and it made a weird noise when he moved but it didn't hurt so it was fine)
He'll be like "I broke my arm last month btw" and everyone will just kinda look at him
That was a lot lmao anyways thanks for the ask!!
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novembermorgon · 2 months
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(different anon we're all just feeling for the lads ig) do maegor and his wife have children because that could finally be the girl babe myrielle wanted ;-; also listen. listen i know i'm making you take this super far but how would their respective wives get along. are they united together to defend from myrielle or
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really shocked at the curiousity about them but in a good way . i will keep talking for as long as you want to know more!
they def do ☝️ funnily enough probably before aenys . i think maegor would be genuinely happy with his wife and they have multiple kids . i actually feel like myrielle would be a pretty good grandma .. hm .
i guess that kind of goes against what i've said before about her but to me, the issue for her isn't really maegor and aenys being married and happy elsewhere but just what that means for Her . she loves her sons very much and obviously wants them to be as happy as they can be - except when they grow up and have lives of their own she loses control of basically the only part of her life she has much of a say in at all. with her sons she has two people who see her happiness as any kind of priority, who have time for and value her as a person, which she doesn't feel like she can get anywhere else . they're always going to be part of her and in that way she can't bear to lose them which makes her kind of the overbearing terrible stepmom by default . which is also why she shifts around and becomes closer to aenys than maegor after both of them are married - aenys is the only one of the two who still keeps to that mindset of my mom is the woman i love the most out of anyone .
BUT ... she would be pretty thrilled to dote on some grandkids. i feel as if she kind of sees them as an extension of her sons moreso than a mix of them and their wives LOL so maegor has children and she sees it as getting a mini-maegor to flaunt around court and to use as an excuse to brag about her sons . look at my beautiful boys who have been so dutiful and princely and married and had children. she's kind of like that type of mother in law grandma that would move in with her son to take care of her grandkid if she could . which is funnier in this context because most westerosi nobles leave much of the parenting to various servants and it's not even her own children LOL
as for their wives .... this one is tough because i didn't think that far LMAO i need to properly develop them both to give a proper answer but i don't think they'd be at odds . probably converse politely when needed and feel some kind of kinship there but i imagine maegor's wife is very fussy about him and sort of clings to him so they're a bit like each other's only close friends because they spend every waking moment together . no real time to bond with anyone else ........ she would loathe aenys himself though i feel . and its mutual
they probably both recognize that if they just dont get in myrielle's way much she doesn't get in their business much either . myrielle doesn't really go out of her way to be cruel just for the sake of it so as long as there's a little bit of a distance there it's fine . this is easier for aenys wife because she doesn't care as much for him so in turn myrielle doesn't care much either
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omegalomania · 2 years
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OKAY SO for the record store listening parties there was some prerecorded commentary by patrick and i don't remember all of what he said but i'm gonna try and list everything i can remember for those who didn't/couldn't make it! there will be NO ALBUM SPOILERS in this post other than to say it's really really really fucking good and i can't wait to shove the whole thing down my facehole properly when it comes out next week.
it wasn't a track by track commentary but there were a couple breaks between songs for him to talk and this is what i recall best:
when introducing the album patrick did the whole "so like, i know we're supposed to say we're proud of it. but we ARE. it was a group effort and i hope you guys like it :)"
before "hold me like a grudge" he said went on a big long ramble about "okay so i KNOW i said that other side was the last song we wrote before the record was done but that was actually wrong. this song was the last one to be added because i was driving home and i got a text of some lyrics from pete and i started writing the song at stoplights DONT DO THIS BY THE WAY and by the time i got home the song was done in my head DO NOT DO THIS DO NOT WRITE WHILE YOU DRIVE and then i called neal and said can we please please please add this one please and he said sure"
he kept punctuating this story with "DON'T FUCKING DO THIS I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS DONT WRITE WHILE YOU DRIVE PLEASE"
the point is that hold me like a grudge was the last song to make the album though
there was one track, i won't spoil which one, where he said he worked super hard to play all the brass parts in the studio and then after he got done doing that they got an Actual Orchestra to play the brass parts and it was like professionals doing this at their studio and patrick was like "well. all right then!!!!"
another track (again, not saying which) had a piano part that he played and was really nervous about but he said neal got the best possible performance out of him!
there was one track he called his baby that he fought extra hard to keep on the record and i DON'T remember which one EDIT: It was "what a time to be alive"!!
during one song (i can't recall which) he talks about how andy had to switch drumkits mid-song specifically to go harder on certain sections
there was one song where he talked about how it was written before the pandemic but it ended up being weirdly clairvoyant lyrically. only he says that it was very "prescient" and then stumbles over the word "prescient" and confesses he doesn't know how it's pronounced because he's only seen and read it in print.
after the record was done he was like "so that was the record! and i hope you guys liked it. and if you didn't then um we have other records that you can listen to. instead. if you want to."
also a long ramble about how grateful he was for the fans and how it means the world that they can inspire anyone at all. he said that pete says it all the time but it's still true that the fans are everything to them. he mentioned not ever getting used to being a real big band like this and if he can do it then anyone can. "if my stupid face can make it on a teen magazine then so can yours!"
anyway bottom line patrick is a fucking nerd and it was so so so endearing to hear him talk about this record
if anyone remembers anything else that he said that i left out feel free to add but please no spoilers for the album itself! you can make your own posts for that and i just wanted to give a rundown for people who weren't able to attend a listening party <3
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romana-after-dark · 1 year
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Apple
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Bisexual!Dark!Santiago Garcia x fem!reader Bisexual!Dark!Frankie Morales x fem!readr Bisexual!Dark!William Miller x fem! reader
Masterlist : Taglist : Read on AO3
Summary: Based on an request. I took a little liberty here and there. You are married to Santi and you and him dabble in CNC scenes. This time, Santi enlists the help of Will and Frankie. Slowly, things start to devolve, and things get heated between the three men that was not discussed prior. This culminates when you try to safeword and you find Will's fingers in your mouth.
Contenant And Warnings: WARNINGS! DDDNE!: CNC FANASY BUT IT TURNS NON CON, DONT BE FOOLED. This is not simple a cnc scene. Safe word is stopped and ignored. Acts happen between the men that while not involving read, reader did not consent to her husband engaging in sexual acts with anyone other than her. Santi is a little mean to Frankie but Frankie is into degrading. Dick too big to take, bisexual madness, calling Frankie a puppy, desperate and needy Frankie, unintentional edging and premature ejaculation, bukkake, penetration before properly wet. IDK I feel like there should be more? LMK if I missed anything.
*I do not take requests, but if you have ideas, I'm happy to hear them and might end up using it if it speaks to me*
**********************
It all had started out as a simple fantasy, something you played with at night if Santi was gone or asleep; his life keeping him out at odd hours. Google said it was normal, having a rape fantasy; or non con/dub con as fanfiction called it, but in the real world it was just rape. Now, you didn’t want to be raped, let’s make that clear, and your husband was not a rapist, but the two of you had played around with some scenes where you were ‘forced’. Of course, the two of you always had safe words and signals that you weren’t afraid to use. You loved Santi dearly, he was everything to you and you appreciated that you could be open about your fantasies with him.
The idea had also been tossed around of sharing you with the guys. Santi’s best friend, Frankie, and the two Miller brothers were like family to you now, and you couldn’t deny they were all attractive, especially the older brother, Will. Will was tall, not as tall as Benny, but close, and he made up for it with insanely broad shoulders. He was handsome with kind eyes and you couldn’t deny you had wanted him mostly of all. Santi confirmed all the guys found you attractive as well. The sex hadn’t manifested yet, but after sharing a specific fantasy of yours, Santi had suggested this was the perfect opportunity to start.
 Now, having all 4 of them would be a lot, so Santi talked to the guys first. Will and Frankie were interested, Benny was out. He said he was in for another scenario, but CNC just wasn’t his scene, no judgment.
The fantasy was simple. A home invasion. You weren’t going to know what day, but you’d go to bed with Santi as usual and wake up to 3 masked men beginning their assault on you. You had a safe word, of course: apple . You’d use that if you needed to.
Finally, the night came. Santi had given no clues as to when it would be, but you had assumed it would be night you didn’t work the next day. Generally, you hated your sleep interrupted, especially when you worked, so Santi planned it when you could sleep in nice and good the next day. Santi kissed you goodnight, cuddling you up in his arms like most nights and you fell asleep in his loving embrace.
You woke up to a gag in your mouth and hands pinned to the bed. You tried screaming, but only half-heartedly. You recognized Frankie’s soft curls around the handkerchief over his face, and knew right away what was going on. It was finally happening. 
A firm hand slapped you before gripping your cheeks, forcing you to your husbands eyes. Will must be the one holding you down. “No need for that, bebecita” He chided. “We won’t hurt you if you behave, can you do that?”
This part was discussed, you were to keep quiet so they could take the gag out, allowing you to use the safe word if needed. Frankie was sitting back on his haunches between you spread open legs, looking hungrily between your barely clothed sex in your lacy underwear. You nodded for anti and he pulled down the gag, allowing you to get full breaths in as Frankie caressed your soft thighs. 
“Please,” You beg them. “You can take what you want, please don’t hurt me! I have a husband.” 
Frankie pulled down his sweat, freeing his massive cock from his pants and god, it lived up to the rumors. Big-dick Morales’s size was legendary, and you were getting wet just thinking about it.
“Oh baby, we’ll be taking what we want, don’t you worry.” He leaned in close, mouth up against your cheek. “You.” He nodded to Frankie, and with his leader's permission, Frankie pulled your panties aside and unceremoniously thrust into you in one go. You gasp, the air knocked out of you as you swear you felt him in your diaphragm. You weren’t properly wet and it stung, Frankies neediness taking over forethought for your preparation… but you adjust. You hear Will chuckle above you.
“Look at her, Fish. She can barely take you, how’s she supposed to take me?” 
Oh. What’s that supposed to mean?
Frankie’s thrusts were desperate, his body folding over you in a whine as he ruts into you like a dog, panting like one too. “F-fuck, so pretty, so tight… o-ohmygooood.”
“Fuck her good, Frank” Santi demanded at the bedside. “Stretch her out for Will, don’t fucking cum yet.” What did Santi know that you didn’t? Was Will bigger than Frankie? How was that possible, and how could that even fit? Will’s grip was bruising at your wrists, his hips shifting and you could feel the head of his cock rubbing against where your head lay against his lap.
“Mmmhmm” Frankie moans. “I dunno if I can hold on much longer, Pope… please”
“Fish” Sternly, Santi warns him. “Don’t you fucking dare.” His hand skims over Frankie’s sweaty, bare back.
“Pope, I ca- ooohhhhh ” With a pathetic whine, Frankie’s hips stuttered and stalled inside you, filling you up with his warmth.
“God fucking dammit Frankie!” Santi shouted in faux anger, yanking Frankie off you and shoving him to lay on the. “Lay their and get yourself hard again, you pathetic old man. Will, help me flip her. Frankie’s going to watch.” The pressure from your wrists was released, and before you knew it the pair had moved you to your hands and knee.
Santi slid in without any problems, Frankie having stretched you out good, and Santi wasn’t small by any means either. “Your poor stretched out little hole.” Santi shoved your face in between Will’s legs, forcing you to feel his hardness even though his pants as he pumped you full. “Where’s your husband now, little girl? He still gonna want you after find out you let 3 strange men fuck you?” Above you, you could hear a wet smacking… were Santi and Will… No, he wouldn’t. You hadn’t discussed Santi kissing or touching others… he wouldn't do that without talking to you.
Santi was more deliberate in his movements. As your husband, he knew just where you hit to make out cry out; the sounds muffled by Will, Will’s musk in your nose as he thrust his hips at you for stimulation.
“Desperate girl.” Will mocked you. “I can hear your wet pussy from here.”
Frankie groaned, and Santi turned to see him just where he left him, on his back on the bed with his cock fully hard again in his hand. Santi grabbed your hair, pulling you up. “Will, take off your pants. Frankie, you weren’t very nice, were you? Not making her cum. Come give her a kiss to say sorry.”
Santi was on the verge of making you cum, your wall tightening up quickly as Frankie’s unintentional edging. Frankie crawling over to where Santi had forced your face to turn as he fucked you and did as he was told, kissing you sloppily. He was a good kisser, no holds barred, exploring your mouth with his skilled tongue and it felt like he was trying to devour you. You soon realize Santi’s intentions. Santi always had a plan, you see, every move was deliberate, intentional. You feel a new hand replace Santi’s and open your eyes to see Will’s hand fisted into Frankie’s curls as well. He held you both together as he knelt naked in front of you in all his golden god-like glory, pressing his hard member two your two pairs of lips.
“Fuuuuck” Will groaned deeply. “Yeah, make it nice and wet.” You continued making out with Frankie around Will’s thrusting cock when you finally came.
Everyone could feel when you did, Santi from your pulsing cunt to Frankie and Will from the way your jaw went slack, cumming so hard you collapse onto the bed, leaving Frankie to take Will’s cock. 
“FUCK!” Santi pulled out quickly when you came, gripping both your ass cheeks and smacking them as he breathed heavy, trying not to cum. He couldn’t very well cum when he had chided Frankie for doing so. Not when he had a plan. “Enough of that.” By your hair, Santi pulled you up right, sucking bruises into your neck with his still-hard cock nestled between your ass cheeks. “Frankie, get on the ground, on your knees.” He continued playing with your body as Frankie moved, Will taking his place next to Santi. “Such a pretty little captive.” Santi shoved you back down, telling Will to do what he liked and he climbed off the bed.
Santi fisted his hands in Frankie’s hair and soon a room was filled with the soft gluck gluck gluck of Frankie getting throated. “Good puppy.” He praised. What was happening? Since when had your husband been gay? Why was he doing all these things you hadn't agreed too? You would have said yes, of course… but why didn’t he just ask?
Will, however, was taking his time. Always a patient man, he went last for a reason. He took his time undressing you fully, his heavy cock twitching in anticipation. “Beautiful, beautiful….” he murmured in reverence, fingers trailing all the way down your naked body. “I’ll go slow, princess. I promise.” He did, but it was still a lot, even after Frankie. Despite the slow start, when you had managed to take him all in he quickly sped up his actions. Fuck, it hurt. It didn’t stop hurting, tears falling down your checks even after an orgasm painfully opened your body up more. Will’s hands were all over you, groping and slapping and kneading, and it was all becoming too much. You tried to hold off, tried to wait until Will was done, but Will wasn’t going to be done anytime soon, was he?
William Miller was a patient man, after all.
It was too much, as your pillow grew wet with tears of pain, you began to say the safe word as will thumbed them away. “Ap- mmph!” Will shoved his fingers in your mouth and continued thrusting harder. You tried to talk, tried to communicate that you wanted to stop, but Will just laughed. “Putting up suck a pretty fight”
The fight was a part of the scene. Saying no was a part of the scene. The safe word was supposed to break it. You look to your husband, but he’s so lost in Frankie’s mouth he doesn’t notice. Another orgasm breaks, your body betraying you to Will’s assault. 
“That’s number three, boys, I think I made up for Frankie.” He continued fucking into you and Santi yanked his friend off his cock, Frankie chasing him even still. “C’mon, puppy boy, other side of the bed.” He tugged the other man up by the collar of his shirt, and by the way he way panting from the face fuck, the puppy nicknamed seemed fitting. 
Frankie knelt on the other side of the bed while Santi stood on his side, Will still fucking you. “Everyone ready?”
“Yes” Will, who only now removed his fingers from you. There was no point in safewording now.
“Y-es” Frankie choked out.
Will pulled out of you to your relieved sobs, the pain slowly starting to subside as the three men jerk their dicks in front of you, a chorus of moans from the men surrounding you. Their hot, warm cum coated your body in stickiness, creating a canvas of their own release on your skin. 
It took a while for anyone to move, everyone laying on the bed with you as your mind reeled from what just happened. Will couldn’t have heard you, right? He never would had stopped you from saying your safe word if he knew, right? 
Eventually, Santi drew you a bath and when he left, Will began stroking your hair. “Did so good, princess. So fucking good for us.” You wanted to vomit.
While in the bath, Santi and Will get Frankie to bed in another room, Will going to sleep with Frankie in his arms. You wouldn’t know that part, of course.
Santi cleans you off of all the cum, drains the bath and dries you off before laying you down in the bed. It was a palace of safety, your marital bed and now it was violated. Maybe you could convince Santiago it was time for a new mattress.
He dressed you in the warmest clothes, making sure you drank more water before laying down with you in his arms, cuddling like you had before this all started. “How was everything, bebita?” 
Do you tell him? Do you tell him the man he trusted with his life, the man he trusted with you, the man who had saved him and Benny and Frankie countless times in the battlefield had violated you? How would you prove it? Would Santi believe you? You couldn’t bare it if Santi doubted you… and what if you were wrong? Accusing Will of something like that? Will was a good man, wasn’t he?
And what if you were right? What if Will did it on purpose? What if Santi believed you? How could you ruin one of his closest friendships? For something you weren't even sure was intentional… just like him getting his dick sucked by Frankie… it just happened. Unintentional. Thats it.
“Good, Santi. I’m just tired.”
Santi smiled at you, tucking you into bed and kissing your cheek. “I bet. You get your rest, mi chica perfecta. I’ll be right here.”
It was going to be fine, everything would be okay. It was a mistake, that’s all. A mistake. And him and the guys… it was just tonight. There was nothing to worry about. It was the heat of the moment. You close your eyes, letting sleep take you with Santi’s arms closely around your middle. It had to be a mistake, because Santi would never let anyone hurt you, ever.
What you didn’t know was Will heard you. Frankie heard you.
Santi heard you.
But they couldn’t stop. Not with Will destroying your sweet little pussy. Not with Santi jamming his cock down Frankie’s eager throat like they’d both wanted to for decades. It was all too good. They needed to cum on you, to mix themselves together in that way; a goresque take on blood brothers. All those years, all the sexual tension, the almost kisses, the nights they fisted their cocks to the thought of their friends mouths… but they could never admit it. They could never admit to themselves what they were; they needed a vessel, an interject. Something to conduct it all together so it wasn’t so goddamn blatant. 
They needed this.
You needed this.
They needed you.
*************************
Thank you to the requester for this!!! and for your patience!!!
Remember, if you like my works, please check out tag list and masterlist!
Comments mean the world <3 Reblogs spread the work!
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alwaysmicado @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @meveispunk @miraclesabound @neverwheremoonchild
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many-but-one · 3 months
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i believe survivors of RAMCOA when they talk about the abuse they suffered, but the one thing i cannot wrap my head around is how abusers purposefully program alters? and this makes the moral ocd worms in my brain go NUTS.
i think i dont understand bc not every child who goes through severe torture/abuse will develop DID/OSDD and it feels way more probable that abusers arent attempting to make alters so much as theyre conditioning certain responses (and if a childs brain happens to split these experiences into alters then thats a byproduct that benefits the abuser).
all of this makes me feel like a bad ally to RAMCOA survivors, and while its not your job to educate me would you mind explaining how the programming alters aspect works?
[Trigger warning: talking about how programming works and why not all children who experience RAMCOA develop DID or may not end up becoming fully programmed. Brief mentions of child death. Mentions of child torture. Nothing in detail, obviously. Also talking a lot about how the deprogramming process works. If you are a programmed system yourself and you worry this could be triggering, have grounding items nearby just in case.]
Note: when I say “successfully” or “properly” programmed system, I’m talking about in the eyes of the abusers. Also, this is talking about TBMC (torture based mind control) programmers. I have to put that disclaimer because you wouldn’t believe how many confused computer programmers I’ve gotten in comment sections on other socials.
So, the reason not every child who goes through RAMCOA develops DID is because developing DID requires some pre-requisites. Things like genetic predisposition to dissociate actually do make a big difference. Also, how early the abuse started. If someone goes through RAMCOA trauma, but not until they’re older and their personality has already begun integrating (which can happen younger in some children, even as young as around age 5-7, though some researchers have said personality integration can happen as late as the teen years) it will be significantly harder to develop DID and therefore properly program the child. In addition, how much access programmers have to the child, how long they had access to the child, and how much support the child has outside of the abuse are also contributing factors.
If programmers see this kid one week out of the month, the parents don’t know about it and therefore the kid has a relatively okay home life with love and support, and they only have access to the kid for a couple years, that’s not going to be good grounds for programmers being able to properly do what they want to do. Some may still try if they don’t have access to anyone else, but this rarely creates a “successful” programmed system. Conversely, if they see the kid every day or multiple days a week, a parent is in on it/they have a bad home life where abuse (of possibly a lesser magnitude but not always) occurs, the parents are neglectful or very busy and likely to not notice things, and they have access to this kid for several years, that makes for a better chance that this kid will be properly programmed.
Because of all of these factors, programmers will often pick children who they know have parents with PTSD or CPTSD (or a dissociative disorder, if the parent has disclosed that to them), who they can access early in their life or have prior history of abuse (so are more likely to already have begun developing a dissociative disorder), and whom they have access to frequently. Sometimes, the child’s parent will be programmed by the group themselves and be born quite literally just to be programmed by the group. Some groups take great care in keeping family groups within the group because that creates stronger loyalty bonds and gives them easy access to children to program. It’s not uncommon for a group goal to be for their grown programmed systems to have kids to eventually give to the group, which is why apprehending a programmed system and having them work on deprogramming before this can happen is essential.
A lot of kids that programmers desire to program actually end up “failing out” because they aren’t able to take to the programming. Depending on the group, this could mean they will end the kid’s life or they will just stop the programming-related abuse altogether. And contrary to what most people know, even successfully programmed children have loads of failed programs, or parts that didn’t take well to programming. Most of the time these parts who have failed programming will be put in “discard areas” in the system’s inner world, and they will be either forced into dormancy or they will be stuck there until amnesia barriers eventually break down as the grown person starts to work on deprogramming (if they ever do.) A successfully programmed system’s most active parts are parts who did not fail their programming, and these are often the most well-rounded parts retrofitted with a personality that would have likely been created by the abusers.
To add: there is often layers upon layers of amnesia even in these single well-rounded parts (that often end up having an alters-in-alters subsystem, and said part might not even be aware they have one) and the “top part” or most front-facing part of that subsystem may not even be aware they are programmed. At least, until a cue happens and their program starts running and they start doing things they wouldn’t normally be doing. A lot of programmed parts don’t even know their own cues or even what traumas they have that would have created their programming. They might know they have trauma, but the memories of the programming might be missing, or the context surrounding the programming traumas might be missing. Usually these cues and context behind the traumas are hidden in EPs or fragments that are buried pretty deep within their subsystems. Accessing these EPs in therapy is integral to the deprogramming process, as learning what manipulations were done to make a programmed part believe what they do is essential in undoing it. All deprogramming really is, is showing programmed parts that what their abusers made them believe was true is a lie and that they are not at risk to be harmed anymore if they no longer have contact with the group. (Cutting off a system’s communication with the group is first and foremost what they should do when deprogramming)
As for your assumption, that abusers are trying to condition children and these experiences happen to split an alter to hold the conditioned response, you are partially right. In some cases, especially in cases where it’s a single parent or a family unit doing this to their own kids, it’s often more likely that the parent is not fully aware that they are creating a DID system. This is where the difference between programming and conditioning is important to note. We made a video about this here: link to TikTok video.
However, in larger groups, programmers do know they are creating a system. DID is not some unknown secret to much of the world, and research about it is easy to find. Even inexperienced groups can find research on DID and how alters form very easily and use that to try and create a system in a child. Whether or not they will be successful with that info alone is hard to say. I was abused by two different groups, one of them inexperienced and one of them very experienced. The initial attempts at programming were often unsuccessful, and we assume they got in contact with the experienced group to learn more and they essentially showed our main handler/programmer how it was done. (We have memories of him being taught and observing/taking part as necessary to the teachings, so this is not speculation, we know this was the case.) Once we were in the hands of the experienced group, we became very well programmed and our system’s organization changed massively. On top of that, the inexperienced group was now experienced, so we actually have alters who are programmed by two separate groups, each loyal to their own group. Some of our parts were loyal to both because they were programmed by both. (“Were” loyal because we’ve deprogrammed significantly and they no longer feel loyal to the groups anymore.)
Like I said in my initial post, programming alters is actually not that complicated on the surface, though in practice it is difficult, and to create a well programmed system takes a lot of skill and intelligence. Skilled programmers are unfortunately often incredibly smart individuals. Anyone who’s been willing to speak with me about their programmers often cite them as being people with high level college degrees. Doctors, engineers, mathematicians, scientists, psychologists. If not a college degree, they often work in areas like police work, political work, religious ministry, or other city/county/state positions. If none of these, they (horrifyingly) tend to work in areas where children are often present. Pediatric doctors/nurses, summer camp counselors, Sunday school teachers, daycare attendants, nannying jobs, teaching, etc. While not all programmers will fit this bill, a lot of them do. In the world outside of their programming job, they are often well-liked by their community. This is not to say everyone in these positions is a programmer, also. Want to make that REALLY clear. Not every person with this job has a secret side job of torturing kids, these just happen to be common areas they tend to gravitate toward. They are often thrill-seeking sadists and egocentric. Having a position in their community in which they are consistently recognized for their accomplishments or adored is often important to them. Sometimes, programmers are also programmed themselves, especially in large groups with generational aspects involved.
Now that that’s out of the way, I’m not going to explain in explicit detail how programming works because that doesn’t make me comfortable to share, but a very dumbed down version of it is pretty simple:
1) torture child to create alter splits
2) get one of these splits to front via triggers related to the torture that caused them to split
3) indoctrinate them with a behavior or action that, if they do not do that action, means they will be punished further. While they are doing said action/being indoctrinated with certain beliefs, have a specific trigger or cue present so that when they see that trigger/cue in the future, they will immediately do the action/enforce the beliefs they have been taught.
4) repeat steps 1-3, basically.
This is why I explained that programming is kind of like conditioning on steroids. Except the child is severely manipulated, tortured, and has extreme threats of harm to self or others to reinforce it, and this is done repeatedly, to the point where it causes the alter extreme duress if they do not do their assigned task because if they didn’t do their task in the past (in childhood) they would be tortured or would have to witness other children be tortured. They will fully believe if they do not do the thing, they or others WILL be hurt, and they believe the programmers WILL know if they don’t, so they often just do it automatically in efforts to avoid the punishment they believe is coming. It is extremely hard for them to override the emotional flashbacks, somatic flashbacks, etc, if they try to resist doing the task. Adding onto that, programmers will often create alters who will punish parts in the inner world the same way the abusers would if they do not do their task, so that is another layer of fear on top of that. These programmed parts often cannot distinguish the difference between outer world torture and inner world torture, as they rarely get contact with the outside world except to do their tasks. So if they don’t do their task, they will be punished by alters in the inner world space and they may fully believe they are being punished in real life. Creating safe spaces for alters to go in the inner world if they don’t do their assigned task is an important part of deprogramming. Because once an alter realizes they will not be punished both externally and internally by not doing a certain action, they will be much less inclined to do said action.
If all of that sounds extremely messed up and fucks with your moral OCD, you’re right to feel that way. It is messed up. These people are vile, fucked up, and cruel. They often do not see the children as human beings and care not of how much this damages the child physically, psychologically, and emotionally. These children are dehumanized beyond belief. Many programmed parts of a system do not see themselves as human unless they were specifically meant to be human. Commonly created alters are things with no free will or no ability to think for themselves, such as angels, robots, and inanimate objects. If a child truly believes they cannot think for themselves, it will be harder to deprogram them. Which is why deprogramming often involves teaching the grown system that they are allowed to make choices outside of their group’s desires and control. It is not easy.
For those that read this and are feeling dissociated and/or anxious, remember your grounding techniques. Get some mints, cinnamon candies, or sour candies and munch. Smell a strong scented candle. Hold some ice or hand warmers in your hands. Look around the room and pick out items that you recognize to be from the present. Pet a cat/dog/[insert animal here] or hug a stuffed animal. Remember, it is currently 2024 and you are safe. Your abusers will not know you read this unless you tell them yourself. You are brave, capable, and safe. I believe in you and your healing journey.
Take care, everyone.
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l0viez · 2 years
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Back again with another dumbass "imagine sagau fics"
Im going crazy either way its fine. Anyways imagine having MEGAN in a Sagau fanfic lmao, (if you havent watched the movie yet , i 97% recommend!)
SAGAU ;
Imagine having MEGAN as a gift or just a comfort "toy" to have gifted by someone and ever since that day you guys became like twins , technically glued to eachother☠️
Being in a SAGAU with MEGAN is like having a bulletproof bodyguard
Devoted Followers, Vessels, Personal Bodygaurd, Worshipper Who??? I only know MEGAN
Whenever theres someone trying to attack you aka their "grace" , MEGAN will slice their throat in half in like 0.1 faster than xiao teleporting to traveller whenever they call his name/hj
Your "followers" in teyvat WILL glare at MEGAN and if you tell them to leave MEGAN alone MEGAN will smirk at them like "I win btch" but if you just brush it off or like laugh it off MEGAN will death glare at them back
MEGAN has the "grace's right hand" privileges, Shes like your co-worker or vice-president or sum LMAO
The non humans (yk like Archons,, Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Xiao, Ganyu, and etc) would be like salty or envy over the fact you hang out with MEGAN and has more trust on MEGAN than them, like they has been worshipping you for what?? 99999+ years, centuries?? what did that "doll" do to gain your attention like that??😦
I feel like the ones that would accept MEGAN whole heartedly and would love her /p is the childrens or the teens,, if that makes sense😭 ! (Klee, Diona, Qiqi, Sayu, YaoYao, Dori, Xiangling, Noelle, Collei, Fischl, Bennet and more)
Since MEGAN has that fighting skills noelle would probably ask MEGAN for some advice so she can be apart of the KOF (as usual) ! and MEGAN would use her "robotic skills" and just give out noelle the whole description on how to fight and stuff it probs took like 3-6hours for MEGAN to finish bc noelle wants to know alot😭
It would be more cooler if like MEGAN plays genshin or like knows all the lore and characters (the power she holds☠️)
Whenever you sneak out, go on a meeting, went out to buy some stuff , went to travel you bet your ass MEGAN will be beside u 24/7 even if the mobs dont attack you MEGAN would still be on gaurd to make sure nothing harms you
MEGAN would play some songs back in your world if you feel stressed out by the work and responsibilities
MEGAN would make a deal with the fatui or the abyss to secretly spy on you where ever or whenever you go (its not like you will leave without her🫣!!!)
MEGAN gives me that platonic yandere vibes so if you ever have "secret admirers" , MEGAN would scan that letter properly and find your admirers house and "talk" to them nicely to stop bothering you
MEGAN would have that resting bitch face on 24/7 but whenever you talk to her she would look so bubbly and nice, but whenever your not around shes so close on choking the people that has been "eyeing" you whenever you breathe, theyre lucky that you told MEGAN to not harm anyone
MEGAN wouldnt give a damn fck about visions, like she would think its useless but the fatui would give her a delusion either way😭👆🏻 (you requested it)
MEGAN would find a way to either destory teyvat or make a portal to make you both go back home cause she doesnt plan on sharing you with anyone any time soon shes only having thin patience around these mfs , but she has to play nice for now😄‼️
IMPOSTER AU! SAGAU ;
you both somehow got teleported in genshin, idk how maybe MEGAN like heard you say you wanted to go to teyvat and MEGAN is like "im a robot i can do technology i can do portal shit lets go"
so now here you both are, eating soup in a small little camp and some fruit giving by some monsters you two met along the way! isnt that nice:')))
You had abit of wound, you were thinking you would have more wound than the wounds you got but suprise suprise MEGAN protected your sorry ass
looks like MEGAN has to train harder but good thing she still have some tricks on her sleeves
MEGAN doesnt mind threatening off a few "side characters" so you two would survive
MEGAN would send death threats to the "creator//the real imposter" and she would have it in like some of the archon's handwriting without signing (bc in the movie she managed to make a masterpiece of a drawing like zamn😭)
MEGAN would give out fake informations and will say its from the "creator//the real imposter" so they would believe it but it will take like a 1-2 year from them to realized that someone has been spreading fake informations
MEGAN would sneak in the academy and do some chaos in any technology plans they have just to make distractions and give you time to get like items you both might need
If the fatuis know your the real creator and take you both in, MEGAN would only help out the fatuis by giving out personal informations of other characters that they call themselves "devoted worshippers"
MEGAN would probably be great friends with Sandrone & scaramouche
MEGAN would be "friendly friendly" with dottore just to get more technology uses😭
MEGAN has thoughts on just beating the shit out of childe (and probably dottore) but she choose not because she doesnt have time to play around with "childe-rens" and has to be by your side 24/7
but If the abyss finds you both first
ofc they would take you both in and MEGAN would also share some tips or advice to defeat those vision users
The abyss sibling would ask your permission to take MEGAN with them from time to time to set out their plan on destorying teyvet and the people who wronged you
MEGAN was abit hesitant at first cause like,, leaving you alone with the abyss? Naur..
But then you insisted that MEGAN should go with aether (also so you can go explore the abyss abit without MEGAN breathing behind your neck😭)
MEGAN would be a trump card for the abyss like if the traveller sees their abyss sibiling with MEGAN, MEGAN would glare at them, if glaring can kill people traveller would have been dead already
and if traveler shares what he saw when he saw his sibiling to like,, someone they would probably go like "yo wait isnt that the kid with the imposter?!"
If people in teyvat finally get to their senses that the "creator" in the throne is the real imposter
they would hunt you and MEGAN down (again) but with "good intentions"
you and MEGAN would troll these bitches
MEGAN would sing creepy songs while theyre haunting at the dark
you and MEGAN will only go out at night but if theres a squad looking for you both
MEGAN would be hella overprotective and going infront of you with her weapon out while glaring at them
"Your grace!"
"Tsk. little bugs like you shouldn't show yourself infront of your "grace""
MEGAN wouldn't HESITATE too ROAST them.
and you would be laughing inside bc of it too
if ever you get recrowned as the "creator" and the real imposter gets jailed up
MEGAN will TOTURE that bitch whenever your sleeping
those "devoted followers" of yours would look at MEGAN and be like
"damn i wish i was her"
MEGAN will be your loyal bodyguard and right hand
why would you need those people when you have MEGAN who sticked with you even when you were still so young?
like you would have the largest trust issues with stuff like imagine
"(maid/bulter's name), please call zhongli."
"yes your grace!"
"yes your grace, you called?"
"please call MEGAN."
"a-"
like 😭😭😭YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING FROM THE PPL IN TEYVAT
and even if the real imposter comes back and claims their the real creator , MEGAN would know their bullshitting bc she has that scanner stuff😭‼️
MEGAN will always protect you from any harm and if something even touch you without your permission, their hand is getting cutted off
"MEGAN.. Was that really necessary..?"
"Of course, Its also my duty to make you comfortable at any time _____"
"Right,, but you didn—"
"Shush now, silly _____! I was only protecting you after all we're best friends aren't we?"
Que that person whos trynna touch you screaming in pain in the background🤭‼️
Have this shitty azz drawing❤️Goodbye xoxo
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sbk-zgvlt · 10 months
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Guys. I finally finished book 4.
Sebek doesnt go home for winter break, deciding to stay with Yuu and Grim in Ramshackle (He feels left out by Dia 3 and decides to stay back, not willing to put himself through more heartbreak) (Yuu and Grim dont question him when he appears in front of their dorm with a luggage bag)
Sebek wanted to see Dia 3 off when they leave through the Magic Mirror only to get there with Adeuce Yuu and Grim and find out they leave without bidding him goodbye
Adeuce's opinion on Dia 3 are slowly souring
Bump into Jamil and the rest of Scarabia!! Decide to help them with cooking. Idc about that theory that the culinary crucible cards that have their bows not properly done r bad cooks SEBEK CAN COOK AND I STAND BY THIS !!!
heads up! Sebeks previous interactions with Jamil (namely the ceromonial robes vignette) has already skewered his personal opinion on him, so he doesnt get suspicious of him until its too late
Something something about how easy it is for Sebek to love admire and respect someone something something about how he lets it blind him to peoples faults sometimes
SEBEK LOVES IT IN SCARABIA OMGG ITS SO WARM. Those green flames in Diasomnia heat JACKSHIT smh
The carpet likes messing around with Sebek and Yuu has to stop him from trying to set it aflame/lh
When they take to the skies, Yuu takes the time to look at Sebek and Grim and just be. Insanely glad that theyre with them (AUGHHH THEY MAKE ME SICKKK)
Kalim's "mood swings" do NOT mix well with Sebek "autism" Zigvolt. Works well in Jamil's favor because Yuu gets upset on both Sebek and Grim's behalf
The whole thing with Yuu unable to say no because of Jamil's UM and Sebek and Grim scolding them, but the former admits that it leaves a sour taste in his mouth if they leave Jamil without helping for some reason
Try to escape and FAIL spectacularly. Try to call the headmage, and Grim eventually tells Yuu to message Adeuce. Sebek messages Jack ("Why do you even have his number in the first place 🤨" "It is none of your concern, human!")
Sebek stops Grim from trying to dig their way out with a spoon, knowing it would be fruitless, and makes him rest
They have the talk with Jamil and the other dorm students !! When Jamil mentions why exactly he needs to be compliant to all of Kalim's wishes, Yuu whispers about how that sounds like someone they know. Sebek tries to ask them what they mean but Yuu says its nothing
Sebek criticizes the Al-Asims and Jamil is surprised by how passionate he is about the topic (Yuu tries their best not to call Sebek a hypocrite with how he's been excusing all of his Wakasama's actions that are CLEARLY hurting him) (Malleus sneezes in Briar Valley)
Jamil also finds out that technically Sebek is a servant as well, although it was by his own will. He questions how Sebek could so easily dedicate his whole life to someone just like that. Yuu agrees, mentioning how his Wakasama doesnt even seem to give him the time of day, which doesnt help
THEY ESCAPE WITH THE HELP OF THE CARPET 🔥🔥🔥 and crash into Octavinelle
Skipping a lot of chapters over here since nothing really changes drastically. Sebek goes with Floyd, Yuu, Grim and Azul to distract Jamil. He plays a board game with Yuu :3
Skipping again, they find out about Jamil's whole scheme and Sebek is CRUSHED to find out that someone he looks up to is actually a bad guy. Jamil once again ignores the teeny tiny guilt he feels upon seeing Sebek's distressed face
Something something about being the one praised for once something something about how Sebek freely gives his love and praise to anyone he believes deserves it and how Jamil feels appreciated even though he wont admit it
OVERBLOT GRAHHHHHH
Flings them to the edge of the desert, Sebek holds onto Yuu and Grim so he would be the one to get the brunt of injuries upon impact. It doesnt help that its cold
OASIS MAKER 🗣️🔥🔥🔥 Sebek uses his crocodile form to carry Yuu and Grim (Yuu was against it because WHAT THE FUCK SEBEK YOURE INJURED)
Fighting Jamil! Sebek connects with Jamil, servant to servant and all that shit, saying that what he's doing wont change a thing. Starts off insulting him ("SEBEK YOURE NOT HELPING???") before going "Will you really let yourself stoop so low and let them take the last laugh!?"
"You have talent and skill that could make others envious, and you're using them for what? Stealing some title? If it was truly yours to begin with, then prove it! Do you really want to become housewarden through such underhanded tactics?" "I truly admire you, Viper, so don't tell me that I placed my faith in someone so imprudent!"
Jamil scolds him, saying that Sebek of all people should understand why Jamil's doing this in the first place. Tells him that he can help him as well, offering his hand. Sebek doesn't take it
He gets in a bit of a funk after that, not being able to understand why Sebek is just okay with being a servant all his life, getting more aggressive with his attacks while the others try to push him back. He still has his hand stretched out towards Sebek, screaming about how he should understand
Azul tells them theyre running out of time, and Jamils going to be too consumed by his blot for any of them to snap him out of it. Against his better judgment, Sebek grabs Jamil's hand, Yuu barely holding onto Sebek's jacket when they tried to pull him back
FLASHBACK!!! Sebek and Yuu finally acknowledge each others existence when they watch the memories play out. When nearing the end, Yuu asks Sebek why he cares so much about this "Wakasama" when its clear that they dont care for him. Sebek doesnt answer
BACK TO THE REAL WORLD!!! Azul tries to convince Jamil to transfer to Octavinelle, and after some thinking decides to extend the invitation towards Sebek. Sebek immediately refuses. Yuu retorts and says the only dorm Sebek is ever transferring to is Ramshackle. (They look at each other like 🤨)
Jamil tells Sebek that he still doesn't understand why Sebek would want to serve someone his whole life. Sebek tells him that he doesn't need him to understand since it's his own decision anyway. Jamil contemplates on his answer
PARTY!!!! Adeuce and Jack FINALLY arrive and fuss over Yuu Sebek and Grim, still not admitting that they were worried
Yuu realizes that Sebek still didnt answer the question. When they ask Sebek about what happened in the memory Sebek feigns obliviousness
Finally back at Ramshackle,,, the ghosts are RELIEVED to see them again. They usher Sebek into the house, noticing how Sebek is SHIVERING
Before Yuu gets in as well, Lilia pops up, saying that they have something to give them. After he gives them the postcard and disappears, Sebek goes out to shout at Yuu to come inside
Yuu shows him the card and Sebek's face FALLS (YOU SEND YUU A POSTCARD BUT NOT. SEBEK. OKAY I SEE HOW IT IS !!!)
Yuu tries to ask him whats wrong, but Sebek says that its getting too cold outside and heads in. Yuu stares at the postcard like it just killed their entire family
"M.D." has a #1 hater and it's YUU 🗣️🔥🔥🔥
EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION FUCKKKK Sebek picks the stone up before Grim does, intending to throw it away only to become curious as to why Grim likes them so much. He pockets it instead
AUHUGHUG FINALLY DONE 😭😭😭 im goign to try and finish book 5 next !!
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