#in the nicest way ykno

[seiwas]

Hi Sel! I'm pretty sure your writing was what made me first ever really start paying attention to Iwaizumi, and I have no clue why I haven't followed you till now! 🥲

For your game, can I hear your thoughts on the 4 currently taking up all the space in my head?

Sugawara, Akaashi, Ennoshita, Suna

omg hello lovely!!! my writing? making you pay attention to iwaizumi? omg. that's the nicest thing 😭😭 i'm so flattered and touched, that's such a compliment are you 😭😭 thank you for reading all my lil hajime fics 🥺

and thanks for playing too!! this is an interesting bunch and i'm so happy you mentioned akaashi 🥺

ennoshita as the bsf!!! he feels like someone loyal, nice to have on your corner. will cheer you on and go through all the highs and lows with you. the kind that will cry when you cry and sit with you when you're down. i think he's so sweet that way!!

suna as the ex bc it just feels like so much to unpack ykno? the relationship is complicated bc after you break up you don't stop talking. and to be quite honest, you still don't fully understand why you broke up in the first place. your banter is the same and you know so much about each other, i think it's so hard to let go 🥲

akaashi as the lover bc. i have a whole playlist for him gsdfbsd but besides that. my go to is always office romance akaashi and i love the idea of him slipping notes to you, leaving things on your desk, waiting for you at the end of the day. he gets you snacks from the breakroom whenever he gets himself coffee. i think he'd be so thoughtful, and he'd know you completely.

suga as the one night stand bc listen....... i think.... it'd be kinda hot..... idk... suga makes me feel a way i can't explain but he really gives off subtle flirt vibes 😭😭😭 like i just think he GETS IT yk. i think it's the sincerity—good things flow out of him so easily that it's hard not to lean into it, and eventually him.

send me 4 characters and i'll tell you bsf/ex/lover/one night stand!

[sleepyivoryrose]

I forgot completely was I wanted to write. I had a little jumpscare right now. Remind me to never, ever put tags in my posts again. People actually finding this blog scares the living shit outta me.

I mean, I'm doing this sort of for mental health purposes. Having a clear line what you wrote, when you wrote it, and why you wrote it, is much easier (and to be fair, feels less like a chore) than keeping a word document or a bullet journal or smt.

I could post everything privately though, now that I think about it...it's at least worth a consideration.

I guess...it's like screaming into an abyss or something. You like hear yourself echo, but there's always the possibilty that someone might greet back? even though everytime it happens, it scares me...

....

Today I ate too much letter soup. I know, it's for kids. I wanted to do myself a f(l)avor and (s)wallow in nostalgia for a while. Just like with everything though, I put a little bit too much. Same with my plants, I don't let them dry out, most of the time I overwater them. I give too much. Too much of a care, too much of a reaction. Maybe it's not enough though. So people would finally take me seriously. So that my own mom stops gaslighting me and the people who are supposed to help me don't believe a word I say. I guess it comes with the schizofrenic and pacifist territory. People suck sometimes.

But there's also a lot of good in the world. People tell me I should stop with the internet, and maybe they're right. I just had the experience that the nicest, most understanding, most lovable people I met, were on the internet.

Not to say that it's all roses and sunshine. Everytime I open twitter, I get a headache (but my longing for good art is stronger.)

I am fully aware that life isn't a walk in the park. I'm very sensitive though, even though online I seem brashen and temperamental and offline I'm kind of stoic, doesn't mean I'm completely either of those things. I hurt easily, and I have my coping mechanisms to protect myself.

----

I already have enough bad vibes as it is. People are instinctively untrusting of me, and my head feels like a black comedy.

I would love to be a more optimistic and fun person, that's why I go so overboeard with the fangirling sometimes. Also, it's fun!

Offline it just doesn't come naturally to me. My grip on myself there is so strong, that I barely talk or show much emotion. One of my caretakers thought I was autistic, and I would love to check it out, but Germanys medical system is on the border of collapse, so it's hard to find medical care for things that aren't, yknow, fatal.

And it's not like I don't get social cues, I think. On the contrary, I am very observant of the people around me. I just don't react much to it, is all.

So I kind of need a way out of this madness, ykno? And that's where this lovely blog comes in. It gives me a place to vent up my inner thoughts and feelings, even if I can't verbalize them spontaneously.

...

Huh, jolly writing about stuff helped me forget my ear pain. Maybe it's stress induced...? - mumble mumble-

Well, anyways. Right now there is still no honking. On the other hand, the soccer game starts in like, 3 mins.

To end this on a good note, my friend came all happy and excited from a convention. I'm so happy for her. She saw a ton of cosplayers, and bought a lot of stuff. I am really glad she had so much fun.

I don't think, with my actual social anxiety and energy levels, that I would survive a convention, even if it sounds really fun.

---

There's a sweet smell in the air...either my roommate just showered (which would be odd, she normally does that in the morning) or the flower bushes three streets away smell into my room. Or are they roses? It's like a floral, sweet smell...! the heavy, hot air of a lingering thunderstorm seems to have carried it here. Nice.

Anyways, on that poetic word I'm gonna end my monologing for today. Or maybe not...who knows.

Deuces!

[sankttealeaf]

Hey there! I hope you're having a good day 🥰 Can we do 1, 22, 23, 27 and 28 from the ask prompt list, if you're feeling up to it 😊❤

HI!!! i hope you're having a good day as well!! i've answered 1 & 28 over here!

writing asks can be found here!

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

sometimes? especially with durgetash considering gortash is not the nicest egg in the basket and i do really enjoy writing things from his pov. i absolutely hate him as a person but he intrigues me so 😔

at the end of it all i just tell myself that it's not real. there are more pressing issues happening in the world than to get annoy about who's writing what!

if people don't like what i write or the way i characterise someone - the back button is there, so is the block button ykno??

i did have a dream once where someone got angry at me for my durgetash fic that they sent me an email saying they were upset i was writing about two horrible characters. that was kind of funny.

but yeah. i try not to care too much about it. easier said than done, and so far everyone has been lovely about my writing and i'm forever grateful for that <3 but if anyone did have a problem with what i write i hope they just block me and move on than try and make a big deal out if it.

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing

chaotic (im a chaotic writer)

commas (i use a lot of commas. too many sometimes.)

suffering (i like to suffer :D )

27. your favorite part of the writing process

recently it's been planning? which is completely unlike me. normally im a big "sit down and churn out 10k words and then lose focus" but ive been properly planning out let sleeping dogs lie (and its all planned out)

and also writing whatever i want, not worrying about doing it in order! i've got full scenes for future chapters written up, i have lines for previous chapters that's never made the cut! just writing whatever comes to mind! it's fun to see where it takes me and what changes when it comes to the final draft

also editing. i go back and read any dialogue in character voices (or the best attempt i can do) and it really helps work out if it sounds / flows right (fun fact: rue has tav 4's voice and thats like. easily mimicable for me / closest to my voice i think)

(please free jason isaacs from my brain!!)

[rainbowsans]

ur valid to dislike what u dislike but lumping selfcest in w like... incest and underaged content is just kinda insulting to anybody who has been thru those things. couldn't imagine being an incest survivor and getting told ur selfcest ship (harmless, cannot be replicated irl in any way, is not incest) is equally as bad as, ykno, an irl traumatic experience u had. like if u think selfcest is problematic enough to be put in the same category as incest and the sexual exploitation of children, u need to consider how u express that and also maybe log off of tumblr for a while. say it makes u uncomfy n u avoid it, super fair, but the way u treat it is downright insulting to ppl who have gone thru actual real tangible trauma. selfcest isn't real- I can tell u have a stance on it by ur language but maybe reconsider, there's a reason the stance is unpopular

I was sexually assaulted when I was in elementary, I was molested by my cousins, twice. groped by my own uncles, when I was a CHILD.

insulting to people who’d gone through those things?

IVE BEEN THROUGH THOSE THINGS. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.

also, also; here’s the thing.

that rule I have with Selfcest? is for MY personal boundary. I don’t LIKE it, I want people to be aware when they ask ME or come to ME that I prefer to stay away from it. people don’t read my rules so I have to remind them in the “nicest” way possible.

I’m not “insulting” anyone by having that rule, it makes me uncomfortable so I want to avoid it the best I can and I want people to be aware of it, in case they think about wanting to send me stuff involving it:

If people are “insulted” with me gently reminding people when I GET ASKED that “hey, I don’t like this thing so please remember that I won’t draw or do anything with it!” then that’s THEIR problem, not mine.

I am setting my damn boundaries and I won’t be told, again, that I’m the one that’s being MEAN or INSULTING for it.

This is my blog, my art, and I get to set down my rules and boundaries, that’s all.

I put it next to those things because it’s so normalized in the fandom, and whatever, I just want others to know that if they are expecting that stuff in my blog? it’s not there, nor is it welcomed. Period.

and guess what? IVE SAID COUNTLESS TIMES THAT I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT AND AVOUD IT, BLACKLIST IT, and guess what? I STILL have people keep pressuring and demanding that shit to the point where I see it constantly in my inbox.

I HAVE TO GUIDE THEM TO MY RULES, I’m not going to be a damn pushover, I’m not gonna feel like my rules are “mean”, they are there for ME to set boundaries and have a comfortable experience here or ANYONE who feels the same way.

GOD.

[orphic-osamu]

How about pm! dazai and a reader who's mori's daughter? doesn't matter if it's scenario or hcs/nsfw or sfw. feel free to go wild, sushi

— DAZAI OSAMU —

pm!dazai

one day little reader decides to join her dad on a work day

and ooh la la who’s that fine piece of man right there

our darling reader will not know who the fuck and how powerful he is

lmao dazai being confused as fuck as to why someone was suddenly hitting on him

dazai: “whomst and why the fuck—“

then he learns you’re mori’s daughter

and he thinks that’s why you’re so fearless

but no, turns out you’re just clueless

so dazai takes it into his own hands to tell you that he really isn’t the nicest murderer out there

“so? geez, dazai-san. my dad’s a mafia boss.”

somehow he finds that hot??

it starts out w him seeing you as someone worth thirsting over and fucking ykno

but as he gets to kno you, he sees your personality and character and just

whew

reader-san is the best thing to exist in this world

asking you out was a little bit of a hard choice

bc its mori’s daughter guys, cmon

but while he’s just thinking you just ykno

“oi dazai, go on a date w me.”

dazai is suddenly attracted to you 48284838 times more

i feel like pm! dazai wouldn’t be big on PDA

it’ll just be there

just the aura around the both of you that you’re both taken by each other

however,,

he loves being vv clingy in chuuya’s face

he’ll whine and put on a baby voice

tug at your sleeves and hug you

all of that just to piss off chuuya

going on dates are hard bc he’s always sent out for “errands”

but if you really want to, you’ll have to ask mori

use that chance card sparingly though

anniversaries, birthdays etc. he’ll most likely have the day off

if not, he’ll finish killing his job quickly to celebrate w you

pm!dazai looks like he’d be rough w kissing and such

butt

there are times when he just wants to hold you and kiss you w feelings

that’s his way of saying ‘i love you’

i think dazai would be afraid of just saying it out loud bc he believes you’ll disappear if he does

lmao me

when you’re not looking, he’ll be gazing at you w eyes that say “you’re too good to be true”

probably would use you as a shield from chuuya

‘til you flip it around on him and scold him for teasing the ginger

eventually you’ll reach the stage in your relationship where he trusts you enough to change his bandages for him

kiss his scars/wounds pls he’ll love you even more

you’re running to the store every two days for more bandages 🥴

dazai would not want you to join the mafia

bc he holds hope that someday you two can escape from that environment and start as new people

oof?

his suicidal tendencies will tone down a bit and even if he does attempt

they never work. why?

bc deep down he doesn’t want to die w you in his life

BONUS: Chuuya’s promise

“Chuuya.”

It was after a dangerous mission, causing mutiple injuries and a possible death if they hadn’t been so careful. Dazai’s tone was almost devoid of any emotion, startling the redhead. His partner was hardly serious, and when he was, it usually meant something bad. The rose colored wine swirled as he fumbled with the glass.

“Can you promise me something?”

The gravity user scowled, “I’m not doing your dirty work.”

“If anything happens to me, keep her safe.”

“Oi, Dazai, stop being so—”

“Please.”

Dazai’s bandages came loose as he gripped the other tightly. Looking into his eyes, Chuuya saw the fear and desperation.

And swirling in the pools of his chocolate brown orbs, was his overwhelming love for you.

idk the bonus was shit im sorry 😭😭 i finally did it sensei!! 💃💃💃 i feel like its all over the place 😖 m sorry

[shes-fast-like-me]

legends' astrological signs

bangalore: sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, capricorn rising. she's actually a capricorn stellium and therefore relates to capricorns a lot and not at all to other sags and uses this to justify her disbelief in astrology

bloodhound: capricorn sun, virgo moon, taurus rising. theyre just very earth dominant imo they seem very grounded

caustic: canonically a pisces sun, unconfirmed scorpio moon, aquarius rising. idk why the aqua rising something in my gut just tells me that he has a prominent aquarius placement

crypto: virgo sun, cancer moon, aquarius rising. completely a gut feeling here honestly the sun & moon might be reversed here. feel like he may also have a lot of scorpio just not in his big three probs his mercury & venus or smthn

fuse: sagittarius sun, cancer moon, sagittarius rising. feel like he also has a pisces placememt somewhere. im getting aquarius venus tho idk why

gibraltar: cancer sun, leo moon, pisces rising. maybe a taurus mercury also?? cus he also gives me very much grounded down to earth energy. he has a taurus in there somewhere

horizon: aries sun, virgo moon, virgo rising. kind of a hectic energy. she's got a cancer venus tho becus that gives me very loving motherly vibe n shes definitely that

lifeline: taurus sun, gemini moon, pisces rising. in the nicest way possible she Looks like a pisces rising. also lol we're twinning i'm a taurus sun & gemini moon so i understand. i understand the struggle here. cant relate on the pisces front ive no water signs lol

loba: virgo sun, leo moon, leo rising. first thing you notice about a leo placement is their hair, second thing u notice is their outfit. she's giving me such leo, but she defs has earth n air in here. giving me gemini venus ykno

mirage: cancer sun, pisces moon, leo rising. again with the leo u notice the hair also leo risings have a tendency of wanting a spot in the limelight so. yeh. he's defs a cancer tho he's a crybaby

octane: aries sun, aquarius moon, gemini rising. mans is practically an air sign with some aries placements. personally i think aries venus becus Same and It's A Struggle and he likes things very passionately but gets tired of it instantly giving me very aries & aquarius combos hello (same here)

pathfinder: youre lucky i acknowledge that nonhumans can have birthcharts. pisces sun, sagittarius moon, pisces rising. i was gonna be like nah he's a triple pisces but then i was like no he is blunt enough to have that sag moon i mean have u heard some of his voicelines. yeh. he's a sweetheart tho

rampart: aries sun, sagittarius moon, sagittarius rising. she's just a triple fire sign she just is i feel it. she's got a taurus mars probably but everything else is fire

revenant: this is his after simulacrum chart and not his human one but just know i think he was a sagittarius as a human. scorpio sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising. LET ME EXPLAIN.... he's brooding ok. and he also thinks about death a lot. and idk that just makes sense with these placements idk

valkyrie: leo sun, cancer moon, aries rising. ik she's a fire sun but i was torn on which fire sign she was but eventually i settled on leo cus she boasts a lot and i lowkey think she also has a leo venus so it checks out. cancer moon cus i think shes family oriented and aries rising cus shes a lil rebel lol

wattson: cancer sun, aries moon, pisces rising. she's giving me very water sign vibes idk particularly pisces. pisces stellium probably somehow

wraith: canonically scorpio sun, unconfirmed virgo moon, scorpio rising. ik it was like rlly obvious to hc the edgy character with a scorpio sun but the fact that she actually is was like wowwww surprise me :/ anyway i always thought she was a virgo so i think she has prominent virgo placements but yeh no canon scorpio sun

[outragedslime]

I'm not that anon and neither am I against meat Roxy but some people don't seem to like that iteration bc of the widely accepted reading of Roxy as a transfeminine character. Idk how much of it is canon-supported and how much is just hcs tho

I mean if ppl liked transfem roxy then go ahead but. I like transmasc roxy and making me tag my own art in a way that lets people blacklist my art out from my blog makes me Super uncomfy. Like?? If u dont like it just unfollow me or if u dont wanna see my art in the roxy tag u can block me its not that deep... idk how to phrase this well but ive so many thoughts abt this. Again ill say i woke up almost 22 hrs ago so im v sleepy so i might phrase things wrong but here we go (also sorry for rambling here but i rly wanna get this out bc its been bothering me for ages and im!! Upset! This big rant isnt specific @ u this is like in general i wanted to type it in a post anyway but i was scared but fuck it ykno.) Id do a read more but im on mobile ill edit it later

Like we all agree that its bad to erase canon gay charas right? So like...why is it g to erase canon trans characters. Like yeah it was a popular headcanon but like......?? Headcanons get deconfirmed sometimes it happens??? It makes me feel like having a woman hc for roxy is more important than having a transmasc canon, which is. A constant self doubt of mine like i worry people will see me as lesser bc im trans and ive also seen it happen! So thats not very nice! To see the fandom treat a canon trans character as "lesser" bc theyre not trans in the way they want!

Also roxy is literally the only positive transmasc character ive ever seen in any piece of media. Ever. So that adds to it. The amnt of ppl who i seen say shit like "give her back u dont deserve her" like? That shit hurts!! Im sorry but it does! Constantly being told that a character being revealed as transmasc is "not worth it" is one of the things that makes me wanna leave the hs fandom bc holy shit!! Thats so transphobic!

Roxy is also rly rly important to me bc ive never seen a canon nb character who uses he/him either and like! I never saw rep lile that! If ur srsly mad abt transmasc roxy and want to be able to filter him out bc u prefer a different hc pls take a step back and look at urself and see how that can be transphobic. Like u can recognise that a character was important to u and like... be mature enough that u dont make ppl feel like shit when they now vibe w that same character? I used to hc transmasc vriska and i drew a few super self indulgent drawings that i didnt post publically and it was a Super important hc to me but i wouldnt draw that again now that vriskas confirmed transfem bc im not an asshole? If u see a trans character and ur first thought is "theyre not trans in the Better way though so i hate this and will make it clear to the people who like this that i hate this" thats transphobic.

Do u have to like transmasc roxy? Fuck no! U dont have to do anything. But srsly @ that anon earlier: like if thats ur reasoning, why would you go to me when i clearly take a lot of comfort in this character (i even Said seratonin time like. I draw roxy and i get an instant boost of euphoria) and imply that u do not want to see it. Like if u do not want to see it u can just unfollow or block me. Instead u make me feel like shit if im being honest! Ik that wasnt the intention so i dont blame u ily n im sorry if im bein angry this has just been building up for a long time. Like "tag this Canon trans character u relate to and love so i dont have to see him" that..doesnt feel good. Pls be mindful of that h,,

Like if u hc roxy as transfem im not gonna stop you like you do you, im not saying this to bash at transfem hcs. But i literally mean it in the nicest way possible, u dont have to interact w my stuff if u dont like it or if it makes u feel bad. Instead of coming to me and making Me feel bad. U can just unfollow and thered be no hard feelings. I draw stuff to make me happy, and if that stuff doesnt make u happy u dont have to stay, but i dont want to post art of the only positive canon transmasc character i know that makes me feel euphoric and tag it deliberately knowing theres people out there who will actively blacklist that specific drawing. Im not saying its bad to blacklist it, u can blacklist it, but im personally rly uncomfortable w that happening w my art of this specific character so if u dont want to see it u can just. Unfollow. Like 100% no hard feelings im not trying to be cheeky i just think itd be most comfortable for everyone involved bc i dont wanna sacrifice my own comfort and euphoria for other ppl.

Sorry for writing so much and ty if u read this ✌

[meistoshia]

send hc memes or ill cry

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

So I can’t fully 100% tell anyone about this rn cause Spenny is sleeping and Pati isn’t around so HERE GOES PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE STORY OF THE YEAR

So like ykno Alex the French/Spanish guy that I’ve been after for like 2 years but we only ever really spent 1 night together until this year because he stopped replying cause he was a dick and then I moved to London and then HE MOVED TO LONDON TOO and we met up once for drinks once but it was so incredibly innocent and just drinks. And then I moved back to Warsaw and so did he like 6 months later. Well it’s been going much better recently, we’ve been seeing each other more in general like going with separate friend groups to the same places and just saying hi and then when I’m drunk I text him to get his “shift” together and come over HAHAHAHAHA drunk Jamie is unstoppable. 

Anyways, last night I was at this techno club Smolna with my close friends from uni (our last hoorah) and low and behold who fucking texts me at 7pm asking if I had plans tonight? Alex of course. But the thing is he texted me 2 days before asking what I was up to, so of course I’m like alright, momma gonna get her sugar tonight. But what does he do? He stops replying after the second message. Literally CLASSIC ALEX. There is not a more Alex move to pull. So last night when he texted me I was like k fuck u, I want you obvs but f u. So I reply after a while saying Smolnaaa, and he goes “hum” which is supposed to be “hmm” but Alex is a fucking weirdo so. So anyways I go “lol why whats up” and hes all “i’m home...” and i’m like “okay...” ahahhahahahahaha literally dead i love myself. And he goes “come over :)”. So at this point I’m still going to Smolna but he says to come over after (which is obvs at like 4am or something). So we go to Smolna and it’s all fun, raining a bit on the patio but no one gives a fuck.

So we’re dancing and having a good time and there was this guy who spilled his drink on my friend and he didn’t notice but then he did and was SOO apologetic and of course I realize right away he has a British accent. My British radar is impeccable I swear. So I can tell right away he’s pretty fucked up, drunk or whatever he is. He said he’s on a stag do with his buddies so I ask where his friends are and he didn’t know so I said to stay with us. So the night goes on and he goes off on his own nothing special, but then I see a group of these British guys and they’re all speaking in an accent so I go up to one and tell him that I saw this guy earlier that was part of a stag do but he couldn’t find his friends! And this guy (who is incredibly handsome might I add) says yeah yeah he’s with us! And he was the only guy in the whole group that didn’t look completely wrecked so I kept talking to him. And we introduced ourselves, his name is ARCHIE. How fucking adorable is that. I don’t think there is a more adorable name I swear. AND HE’S BRITISH. ugh. So anyways, Archie and I chill and dance and talk and we get to know each other a tad, he lives in London (thank fucking jesus I love London). But as the witching hour approaches I’m thinking Alex is probably going to go to bed soon so I either go now or never. 

I call Alex and he’s still up, this is around 230am. I leave around 330am, my phone on very low battery but I made it! He’s staying in his brother’s old place so I didn’t know where it was exactly. And oh my god. This is where the night just keeps getting better and better.

Before last night like.. I’m obvs obsessed with Alex cause he’s so fucking attractive, but I thought that we didn’t have much to talk about really. Like he can be kinda negative and a dick and he knows it but that’s him. But last night was a COMPLETE 180. He didn’t go out so he was 100% sober which has not happened ever when we meet late at night. I got there and he was in bed chillin and I was still high so I was chatty af. So we were talking and honestly we talked for about an hour about everything and whatever came to mind and it was great. Like.. really really great. He was so cute in his boxers and T laying there while I was bouncing around the flat ahahhahaha. And I was making fun of him and we were laughing and just.. it was really really nice. So finally I calmed down and laid down and of course you guys know the rest. I slept alright cause the high but he snores but honestly it didn’t bother me that much, I think that’s when it means something. When you think their snoring is cute. One of the things I really like about him is although he can be a  dick sometimes, he is the biggest teddybear I swear. He gained weight recently this year but honestly it doesn’t even bother me. He’s hairy head to toe literally chest, back, EVERYWHERE HAIR. Which of course if you know me then you know I’m totally into that (ya the back hair not necessarily that much but it doesn’t bother me;)). So he’s quite literally this big teddy bear. And he cuddles so nicely. Like we didn’t cuddle much during the night cause it was hot af and just cause but in the morning he comes over to me and puts his arm around me and he’s just really sweet when he wants to be. So obvs then this morning you guys know the rest, but damn. One thing I will say is that drunk sex SUCKS DICK and oh my god if Alex and I were always sober when meeting up I think it would’ve been a way more frequent thing cause HOT DAMN he knows his shit. Ugh. I feel like I’m glowing.

 And then after he was considering buying more stock on some weird internet currency idfk I have no clue, and I was laying on the bed and he was at his desk and we were just chatting and he was talking to himself but also to me kinda ahaha but I love that cause I literally do that ALL THE TIME. And yeah. It was just really good. And at the end I was leaving and I was poking fun and it was just horrible cause he’s a mean man but he’s really not. I know it might sound like he’s a huge dick but he’s just honest and he knows he’s not the nicest person ever but he’s okay with that and honestly as long as he’s not hurting me then it’s okay. And we will never ever date (I FUCKING WISH WHYYY) cause I won’t live here anymore and I don’t think he would be interested in dating me (who knows?) so it’ll just stay this way and I’m totally good with that.

Ugh guys. He’s legit the only guy since I left Canada that I’ve been this enthralled by. I wish there was some sort of way it could or had a chance to become something more but I know my destiny isn’t here in Warsaw, it’s in Edmonton. But fuck it was great having him around, especially this last year. I’m gonna miss him. I am a woman in love.