#i just don't really spend time on dead ships

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

thoughts on serrawong now that separate ways has been released?

the same i've felt about serrennedy ksjbskfj

luis is dead

so i don't really care about it

i thought it was kinda cute but that's kinda it

[solardrop]

after watching evolution i find myself more confused about how intense people are about jemily. because they're barely working together now so i really dont get it.

[demonic0angel]

Dead Silent. One of the batfam ask Danny why he’s more clingy than his siblings and Danny just goes “huh??” Cuz he’s probably the LEAST clingy. Dan is Yandere Levels of clingy, Jazz is Ride or Die clingy, Dani is probably Stalker clingy, and don’t even get him started on their parents.

Danny, by comparison, is the normal one and I feel like that should be appreciated so much more.

(This is SO freaking funny and you're so right omg. It got long bc I got excited again lmaooo)

"You... you think I'm... clingy?!" Danny cried in shock, looking around for a camera. Were they serious? Was this actually real?

Duke said with a shrug, "Well... I mean, I always see you around Cass. We're just asking."

"I am literally the least clingy and the most normal out of my siblings."

Jason snorted from where he stood behind Tim's chair. Everyone was listening in but only Damian and Duke had the graciousness to not pretend that they weren't. Even Cass was staring, blinking as she was held in Danny's arms for a cuddle after the patrol.

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

Danny glared at him and pointed to his shadow, which stretched out beneath him from the Batcave's lights.

"One, the only reason she doesn't follow you around everywhere is because Jazz literally has Shadow following you whenever you go out." As he said this, two eyes blinked from within Jason's shadow and then disappeared just as quickly. "Two, she had all of your medical information on a file in her phone! And just information on you, period! Three, just yesterday, she blew up two ships and took down a trafficking ring by herself because she got reports that they put a hit on you! And don't even talk about how normal she is compared to me, because she definitely isn't! You just think she's a normal amount of clingy because the both of you have your brains rotted from romance novels!"

Jason made a face. It was one of great affront, grudging acceptance, and a wistful adoration. Danny couldn't even feel smug for proving him right because the look on his face was just disgusting.

Cass giggled from within his arms.

Dick opened his mouth and Danny pointed at him aggressively, clutching at Cass as he said, "You can't speak either! Dan is literally the most clingy out of all of us! You know what Jazz said?! He literally has abandonment issues and codependency!! Y'know what his name was before we came here?! It's "World Destroyer"! The only reason he hasn't done anything is because he really likes you and wants to spend most of his time watching you and keeping you safe instead of going around and causing destruction!"

Dick blinked. "But he also—"

"Wrong! He uses clones to do stuff while he keeps watch over you, and you're the only reason he has a moral code at all."

Dick made a considering face and then he smiled. "Aww, that's kinda cute. I didn't know he was so clingy."

Danny muttered to Cass, "Are you seeing this bullshit?"

She giggled again and patted at his arms that were wrapped around her neck.

Duke nodded, amusement on his face. "I see your point. But what about Dani? You're definitely clingier than her."

Danny made an error noise. "Nope! The entire Young Justice is codependent and clingy, so it just looks normal. And Dani just follows around Kon and Tim in intervals so you can't see either of them." He also grimaced at Tim, who was still working at the computer. "And Tim is already watching them, aren't you? You three are a bunch of freaks."

Tim looked up with a small smirk, much to Damian's audible disgust. "You got me there. I keep trackers and cameras on all of them. And Dani's usually just invisible."

Danny smiled triumphantly. "Hah! See? I'm the least clingy!"

There were murmurs of agreement and then Duke said, "I don't know, I think all four of you are clingy and weird."

Danny sulked. "No I'm not."

Duke gestured to all of him. "You're literally climbing Cass like a koala."

Okay, so his legs were wrapped around her waist and he was hanging onto her like a sticker, but so what? She didn't mind!

Cass snickered and said, "It's okay. He's light."

"Yeah, I'm light," grumbled Danny as he squeezed her.

Duke and Damian shared a look, as Duke said, "We should get out of here. Thank god these freaks are taken."

"Agreed. Thank goodness we are the most normal."

Now there were cries of outrage throughout the entire cave all over again.

[rcmclachlan]

Reading the comments on this post and you know what? Tommy does have a podcast!

It's called Getting Rom-Commy with Tommy and he breaks down the history, plots, tropes, and cliches made famous by romantic comedies. He recorded the first episode—Tillie's Punctured Romance, the first feature film in the genre—in 2020 during the early days of the pandemic, and has since gained a small but loyal following who love his deep dives, quirky sense of humor, and the random breadcrumbs about his own life that he drops occasionally.

For three and a half years, he's posted an episode every other Thursday without fail, so it's the talk of r/romcommytommy when the promised episode about A New Leaf doesn't materialize. They worry about Tommy being sick or dead—or worse: growing bored with the subject matter—and flood his podcast inbox with well wishes and pleas to continue the series.

Finally, the episode goes up the following Thursday, and he prefaces it by apologizing for the delay. He had gotten tangled up in a work thing and had spent the previous week dealing with the fallout (i.e.: paperwork), but he's in high spirits because he isn't in federal prison and has reconnected with old friends. And made some new ones! Which has nothing to do with Walter Matthau's performance, which in Tommy's opinion is one of his best, and he jumps right into the movie and says no more about what kept him away.

After that, for months, the series takes on a different tone—more buoyant, almost bewilderingly cheerful—and it elevates what was already a great program to something that truly has a happy ending every time. More people start listening. The subreddit hits 10k members, and speculation about what's causing Tommy's audible joy runs rampant, with most agreeing it's because he has someone special in his life.

Then, the 103rd episode goes live. It's an unflinching look at the movie Blue Valentine, which is very much not a romantic comedy, and for the entire episode Tommy vacillates between sounding dead inside and on the verge of tears. "It's just another example of how even the most passionate relationship will erode over time," he murmurs. The episode ends without its usual jaunty outro.

It becomes clear over the next several weeks that something devastating has happened, because Tommy has ditched his beloved rom-coms for the most depressing movies ever made. The subject of the top trending post on the subreddit for a month is 'If I ever listen to the Closer episode again I will need the following: a gun.'

His listeners debate whether or not to jump ship, but the film analyses are still really good. Plus, it feels like abandoning a friend in their time of need.

I don't know if you will ever see this, Tommy, but I think I speak for everyone when I say: we love you, we're here for you, we're not going anywhere, but for the love of GOD please go to therapy, u/marshedmellowout comments on the post for the In The Mood For Love episode.

No one's quite sure if u/marshedmellowout got through to him, but it feels like a turning point when the subject of the next episode is Desert Hearts. Tommy spends almost half the episode runtime analyzing the film's hopeful ending, and even cracks a couple of jokes. While his voice doesn't have that incandescent happiness from before, it's much lighter.

The next few episodes continue that slow, upward trend, and the movies Tommy deconstructs go from having hopeful endings to happy ones. He's back to making terrible puns and laughing at his own jokes, and everyone on the subreddit breathes a collective sigh of relief. He's going to be okay.

None of his listeners are prepared for how he starts the 118th episode.

"You're all in for a treat today, because I'm joined by a very special guest. He's not a big fan of movies, usually, but he's got a mind made for analysis, so making him watch Groundhog Day was kind of a no-brainer. I've been dying to hear him pick this one apart. Evan, say hi."

The joy from all those months ago is clear and present in Tommy's voice, but it's tempered with something new: certainty.

"H-Hi, everyone," Evan says, bashful and a little giggly. "Sorry, I've never done something like this before."

"You literally had a walk-on role in the country's most watched TV show. 22 million people tuned in that night, and that's not including the streaming numbers."

"That was different! I had one line. Plus, I didn't care about making Brad look dumb."

"Brad didn't need your help with that," Tommy says, audibly besotted. "Evan, you can't possibly make me look dumb. They can't see me."

Groaning through laughter, Evan gasps, "Oh my god, I said you get five stupid jokes and you just wasted one. Better make the next four count."

"I'll do my best," Tommy says. "So, overall, what did you think of the movie?"

It's the most listened to episode of the entire podcast, and u/cadburybunnyeggs's post 'Evan needs to be a permanent host and here's why' makes the front page of Reddit.

(A year later, the Four Weddings and a Funeral episode, which goes live two days before Tommy and Evan get married, is nominated for a Webby Award. What happens afterwards in the subreddit breaks containment and winds up in the New York Times.)

[sirxlla]

Laying Hoes Hose 😉

----------------------------------------------------

Warnings: NSFW, fluff

Prompt: getting interrupted while having sex with Buck

Notes: female reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

When it came to Buck his entire apartment was up for grabs when he had sex with you. The shower, the kitchen table, the couch, the hallway. You get it, the whole lot was up for grabs. No one could see in due to the tint on the windows so in his mind there was no reason to not push your face against the window and screw you from behind.

You'd never be upset for anyone cause of their body count, you knew his was high but holy fuck did it give him experience. This man could rearrange your insides multiple times over for what felt like hours before even thinking about finishing. His stamina was unreal, of course that came from the fire department but also his experience, he knew how to pace himself.

You threw your head back with a moan as you panted, him expertly hitting right where you needed him to over and over. Buck's hips clapped against your ass causing the sound echoed across the apartment. He smirked as you whined and reached behind you for him.

Buck's apartment was like a goddamn merry go round and people came and went as they pleased so getting alone time like this was rare but when it happened? God, was he good at this.

He grabbed a handfull of you hair with a small tug to bring your head back and your lips to his so you both could share a very sloppy/steamy kiss as you panted in his mouth.

You were so fucking close and it felt like cloud nine when there was a knock on the door. He ignored it and kept his pace against you, bringing you both to a climax was more important to him right than whatever was at the door. His lips kissed and bit at your neck and shoulders.

"Baby, I'm gonna-" You whined before the door was banged on again and again.

"We know you're in there, Evan!" Chimney yelled.

"Open the door, we brought refreshments!" Eddie added before they kept knocking over and over. Buck was annoyed and groan as he pulled away slowly which caused you to make the same noise.

"Baby, I-" He started and apology as he quickly pulled his sweatpants back on to answer the door.

"I know." You panted out, a complete mess for him and he'd've know than more than he already did if his friends weren't so annoyingly persistant.

"Give me a minute, Guys. It's a mess, I-" He gave you a moment as he stalled his friends.

"We don't care about what it looks like!" Eddie responed with a laugh almost on hos tongue.

"Come on, the beers getting cold!" Chimney yelled after, Buck looked back at you as you cleaned up the pair of your clothes before getting some clothes to go shower. Once you were in the shower, he let them in.

"Finally, my Grandma moves faster than you...and she's dead." Chimney joked before hearing the shower.

"Oh, you got company?" Eddie smirked as he spoke but it falls as he sees Chimney's face.

"Oh- Oh, Dude, I'm so sorry. Maddie told me to not come over, I didn't think it was cause you were spending time with your girl, should we go?" Chimney asked feeling a bit shitty.

"No, it's fine. You're already here. We were just wrapping up anyways." Buck added with a kind and reassuring smile, of course he would've liked to continue with you but he knew that ship had sailed and he knew you knew that too. You two had been interrupted countless times via emergencies and such.

"Did we interrupt anything?" Eddie asks a bit teasing but a bit guilty.

"Yeah but it's nothing." Buck tried to reassure his friends more.

"Nah, thats not nothing. I knew when Maddie and I get interrupted-"

"I don't really wanna hear about you banging my sister." Buck replied to make them laugh and tease the tension with tge very true statement.

You cleaned yourself up, showered and every other thing you needed to do. It was hard to get out of the shower once you were in there sometimes, like it was just so calming and serene but all good thing come to an end.

Once you had got dressed in one of Buck's graphic tees that he usually only wore at home. You hadn't bothered to look at the shirt when you hastily grabbed it earlier to get into the shower. You had pulled it on before reading it and now you had to stiffle a laugh.

"Laying hoes hose." It says with a pinup female firefighter winking on it, the word hoes crossed out to spell hose like a fire hose.

"Oh, my god." You laughed, you didn't even know he had this in his dresser. There was only that shirt and it wasnt like Chimney and Eddie didnt know you or your humor and in their minds they'd probably think it was yours or something you bought for Evan.

You came out and sat next to Buck, you know that Buck would make it up to you later so it sucked but it was what it was.

"Evening, N/N. We're sorry if we-" Chimney still felt the need to apologize.

"It's okay, I'm used to it." Acting like it was nothing because at this point you had started to try to accept it.

"No, you shouldnt have to. I kinda feel really bad. I know you and Buck are super busy with work and babysitting Jee..." Chimney continues.

"It's alright, Buck'll make it up to me later, Right?"

"Right." Buck blushed a bit and smiled and squeezed your thigh, he looks down and sees your shirt before laughing, he'd forgot about that shirt. The other guys look at it as well and start laughing, the tension was once again evaporated into thin air.

-> Masterlist <-

[yeyinde]

the therapist x Price ask has me thinking terrible things. but what if instead of helping him with anger management, you're his marriage counsellor.

With your colleague's early retirement on the horizon, you take over several of his files, and among them is Mr and Mrs Price. A marriage on the brink of collapse, he writes, but both are willing to work things out.

As if.

You're not one to pick sides—it's morally, professionally, and ethically wrong—but you really wish Mrs Price had better friends. Or someone in her life to pull her aside and tell her to run because as much as she seems to want to work at these issues that plague her marriage, it takes you only a handful of sessions to realise this is impossible.

And the reason is just—

John Price.

Unprofessional? Yes. Wrong? No.

Your colleague's notes about Mr Price being the driving force behind keeping the marriage intact seem almost farcical looking back because that seems to be the very last thing on his mind.

He goes into each session with the single-minded goal to tear through any progress made—and that's only when he shows up. And in this particular profession, you're used to combativeness. The guarded nature of people is a hurdle you can often overcome with logic and solutions to their problems, but Mr Price's walls have walls. His armour is thick, and impenetrable, and he's—at best—unwilling to participate in any meaningful way.

And at worst—he spends most of the session arguing with you. Needling over everything you say. Ignoring any attempts to steer the conversation back to the idea of salvaging his marriage in favour of riling you up. Disrupting the natural order of accountability and progress just to see you flustered. Asking personal questions. Coming in earlier just to nitpick your talking points. Letting his wife leave before he does, and using the time to go over his startling accolades like the thought of chasing her, taking her to dinner, didn't even cross his mind. A man with one foot out the door, and almost no interest in turning around.

He's bullish. Compromising. Stubborn—

"—and a pigheaded oaf of a man!" You seethe, ethics fleeing from the room as you dig yourself a spot on your boss's couch, and take hearty gulps of the Chardonnay he offered with a grim twist to his lips. "Every time we get close to the truth, to a breakthrough, he jumps ship! Pulls away! But then has the audacity to question me because his wife isn't changing her mind on the divorce? In what goddamn universe is this my fault?"

He clears his throat, looking more than a little bemused. "Uhh. Have you tried—"

"Talking to him one-on-one in a confrontation-free way to try and get him to open up? Yes! And he spent the whole session avoiding the issue and making redundant comments about me, my life! What do my future plans have to do with his marriage? My relationship status! If I want kids! It's absurd!"

"Interesting. And have you considered—"

"All of it! There's no getting through to him. I don't even think he really wants this marriage to work out which is so different from what the counsellor they had before told me. He was trying back then. Said he'd let her divorce him over his dead body, and now? Two decades down the drain. I just don't get it."

"Well." His brow lifts, and he seems almost worried for a second before he scoffs. Shakes his head. "I think I do. Good luck, hon. He seems like the sort of man who knows exactly what he wants."

It takes all of your willpower not to reach out and grab the whole bottle from the table. Professional, you think. And that's what John called you, isn't it? Well—

Smart little girl, aren't you? Is what he growled out, arms folded over his chest as you—indiscreetly—ushered him towards the door. "But you don't know what you're doing, love. Gonna get yourself in over your head—"

The little girl prickles over your nerves. There's something about him that makes you want to lash out.

"I can handle myself, John."

He leaned down, shoulders tense. Eyes blazing. This man, you realise, is all fire. All heat. You fight back a shiver, meeting his stare head-on.

"Oh, I hope you can."

A challenge, right? Maybe he's another misogynist in a choking, crowded sea too blinded by his own ego to admit that maybe you could help him if he let you. Pretentious, self-righteous prick—

It really doesn't surprise you when the dissolution of his marriage happens a week later. Irreconcilable differences. Go figure. But what does surprise you is finding John Price standing outside your office only several days after the contractual obligations you had with them end.

The sight of him, stripped of any professional distance, makes you tense. "If you're here to complain, you'll need to file a—"

In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. The signs were there from the onset. Mrs Price's frigid anger at the end, and John's interest in you beyond the therapist. But when he pushes you against the door of your office, pulling you into a searing, demanding kiss that siphons the air from your lungs, all you can think is huh? and when did this—?

He doesn't really give you much of a chance to say any of that, though. Just devours you whole like he's been waiting his entire life for this moment, hands biting into your flesh, gripping tight. Refusing to let go even for a second. Even to let you breathe. Just grunts into the lax seam of your mouth about how much a goddamn little tease you are, tempting him like that when he was still a married man.

"But you can handle me, can't you, sweetheart?" He rumbles, fingers rasping over the skin of your nape. "Said so yourself, didn't you? Actin' all naughty even when you were pantin' at me like a bitch in heat. But don't worry, I'll make an honest woman outta you yet."

"Um—"

(maybe you were, in fact, a little over your head with John Price.)

[newdruid]

Tl;dr: in which Law ignores reader to a point that Bepo believes them to be fighting and because he is inconsolable, Law has no choice but to reveal his real feelings.

A small, fluffy Law x f!reader. No use of reader or y/n. I may rewrite this into something larger, more detailed later on...

You enter Shachi and Penguin's room with a furrowed brow and a tight-lipped frown. Both your crewmates quirked a brow at you.

"What's wrong?" Penguin asked. You look up at him as though you only just realized you had entered their room.

"It's the Captain," you begin, "He and I aren't speaking... he's ignoring me, actually. I think maybe I've... done something wrong."

"Like what?"asks Schachi, shifting himself to face you better and coaxing you to sit on his bunk, you take the offer.

"That's the problem. I don't know." You revert into a dead eyed stare with furrowed brows and that tight-lipped frown. "I've been going over every interaction with him from the past three weeks, and I can't think of anything negative."

There's a collective, thoughtful hum from Schachi and Penguin. They couldn't recall anything bad about your daily interactions either. Infact, they thought you and the Captain were close, as you usually made him smile most.

"You're usually the one who gets him to loosen up..." Penguin pondered aloud.

"Yeah, and you guys are always spending time together because he always takes you with him if he gets off the Sub." Added Schachi.

As they finished speaking, Bepo walked into view of the open door to the boys' room.

"Oh, what are you guys talking about?" The innocent polar bear mink entered the room slowly.

"Captain's been ignoring our girl," Penguin explained. "She thinks she did something to really piss him off."

Bepo lets out a gasp at the idea of his friends fighting. "Oh no! Captain's upset?"

"Yeah, but we dont know why." Shachi interjected. "But he's been ignoring our girl for days."

"Weeks." You corrected, Bepo gasps.

"That's awful!" Bepo's furry paws went up to cup either side of his face in worry. "Captain ignored me once for a day because I accidentally ate his onigiri, did you eat his onigiri too?!"

"No," You answered, shaking your head. Bepo began to word vomit possible answers for why the captain could be ignoring you. You shook your head at all of them.

"Geesh. Maybe he just hates ya or something." Shachi jested after the long list of rejected plausible answers. Bepo gasps, horrified at the implication.

"Don't say that! What if he DOES? What if he's gonna kick her off the crew?!" And suddenly, the polar bear mink became inconsolable at the idea that his friend may be exiled from his crew.

Penguin and Shachi immediately tried to comfort the bear, to no avail, and you sat their on Penguin's bunk, wondering if Law really would kick you off the crew. Maybe you had done something truly wrong.

As Bepo continued to sob and you were lost in thought, The Heart Pirates' Captain came into view of the door frame.

"What's going on here?" The captain looked as though the four of you had roused him from an intense study session in his office. "Bepo, why are you crying?" Law's brow became firmly set in question as he noticed the Polar Bear's upset.

"Because!!" The navigator wailed. "You're upset, and ignoring my crewmate which means you're going to kick her off the ship!" Law's expression quickly turned to bewilderment as he looked at Shachi and Penguin for further explanation.

"Our girl here came in upset first!" Penguin explained, raising his hands in defense. "She said you'd been ignoring her for weeks, and Bepo got upset 'cause you two aren't getting along."

Law's bewilderment shifted to a mix of realisation and surprise. He held his head in his hand, and behind the wall of his palm, you almost swore you saw his cheeks go ruddy.

"I'm not kicking anyone off the crew Bepo." Mumbled the Captain before he raised his head to look at you. "Can you come to my office, please."

Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo went silent as you followed Law out of the boys' room and back to his office. Law held the door open and closed it behind you upon entering his space. You stood in the middle of his office, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as Law sighed and leaned against the closed door.

"Im sorry," he began, pulling you out of your anxious trance of swaying. "I wasn't... trying to ignore you. I just... needed to think."

You stared with wide eyes, uncertain of what to do or say. You should have realized your captain was just a busy man, trying to do his best.

"It's okay, I shouldn't have assumed you were ignoring me deliberately-"

"I was." Law cuts you off. "I had to ignore you to figure myself out. Im sorry." You looked at Law with calculatory eyes, and for the first time since you've joined his crusade, he shied away from your gaze. "I... had to figure out what you mean to me. And I couldn't do it with you so close to me because all you do is make me... uneasy."

"Gee, thanks?"

"No - that's not." Law groans at his own verbiage. Suddenly Law's regular confidence is back and he straightens, looking you in the eyes. "The regular resting heart rate for a man my age and stature is 60 to 100 beats per minute... whenever you're in the room, my resting heart rate shoots to 125. I get warm. I can't always focus. I thought you were making me sick."

At this point, you're still confused. No one wants to hear they make their captain nervous, but you can't understand why you would make the Surgeon of Death feel like this. What he says next staples your jaw to the floor.

"I like you." Law declares, "as more than my crewmate."

"What?"

"Please don't make me say it again."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

can we hear more about ace's shithead sister whats her problem

goddd straight up everything is wrong with her

her name is Saliko and she's somewhere in the neighborhood of 60ish years older than Ace, which means yes she was absolutely a grown-ass woman in her sixties beefing with a literal toddler when Ace was first brought to live with their father in his stupid blood magic murder cult.

and as noted she's mostly beefing with her because Ace was born because their father, who's supposed to be busy running his very serious secret magical blood murder cult, fell mortifyingly in love with a cruise ship fitness instructor and had a child with her, that child being Ace, when he's only really meant to have children every half century or so with women who are carefully selected for optional contributions to the bloodline. and you're saying "hey, that sounds yikesy" well it is. I'm sorry to report the blood magic murder cult is a little problematic.

except sweet baby Ace kind of actually accidentally disproved the whole "superior bloodline" thing because she's, like, insanely powerful; she has a lot of really potent magical potential. she could, hypothetically, make someone's heart just stop beating if she focused hard enough, which isn't supposed to be easy to do. most of her dad's acolytes spend their entire lives in training and never accomplish more than being able to numb their own pain receptors and heal themselves enough to a.) be pretty daunting assassins and b.) live a good deal longer than the average dude. and those are only the really talented ones! most of them never get that far, and meanwhile Ace can like. you know. cleanly rip out somebody's lungs if she feels like it.

it's one thing to have a bastard child, but if your bastard child is also smoking all of your legitimate heirs and acolytes that's like. it's a bad look. especially since Ace is, by the standards of her daddy's cult, just way too emotional and sensitive and daydreamy, just way too irresponsible to be having this much power.

(please note that to most normal people Ace is very hard to read and pretty emotionally inscrutable, and she can't figure out why since she spent like twenty years of her life being derided for being such a sap.)

so our girl Saliko—who, don't get me wrong, is a very powerful blood witch in her own right, do not let her get ahold of you because you won't like the shape she leaves your organs in—was like. okay. I fucking hate this kid, she's an embarrassment on our noble father's spotless reputation, and she has too much juice. what to do. and her brilliant solution is an elaborate sacrifice on Ace's 21st birthday that would, in theory, let Saliko suck up all of Ace's raw magic prowess and also kill Ace. so that's a win win, right? especially since Ace was down for it! again, she's always loved her big sister and wanted to help her out however she can!

the whole thing got botched on several levels, which is perhaps obvious given that Ace isn't dead, and their dad was pissed, since he's never actually been the one who has a problem with Ace; that's all on his followers. he's not, like, dad of the year, given the murder cult stuff, but he is very find of her and Saliko is turbo grounded for the attempted murder, by which I mean she's spending a few years in some of torture dungeon being submerged in acid 24/7 or some shit like that so she has to constantly heal herself and doesn't have time to scheme.

normal family stuff, y'know.

[dancingaura925]

Ok but like as much as we ship LBG/SJ or LQG/SJ, I feel like we have to get Ming Fan *somewhere* in there so hear me out:

Luo Binghe/Ming Fan Enemies-to-Lovers where MF has an existential crisis along the way

So maybe it starts out where Ming Fan is bullying Luo Binghe as one does in the original PIDW when Luo Binghe asks the question: "Why do you hate me so much?"

And Ming Fan is going to answer!!! But for some reason, when he's about to start saying the usual schtick (you're a beast, untalented, have your eye on NYY, etc), for some reason, he can't get that out. If anything, wouldn't MF be a beast for doing all of this? No, he's obviously just carrying out Shizun's orders! Thoughts are swirling around his head, but whatever the case is, Luo Binghe isn't scurrying up those hateful emotions anymore.

So to the surprise of everyone, he just looks at Luo Binghe, turns around, and leaves.

His lackeys obviously don't know what's going on, so they try to follow, only to be shaken off (aka yelled at) to leave him alone. So they do, and Ming Fan does the unthinkable and starts thinking. Why does he hate Luo Binghe so much? Why did he spend countless of hours on this one boy instead of doing something useful and standing out to his Shizun by actually cultivating?

And when Shizun finally punishes Luo Binghe for some inane reason (he... hasn't really noticed the inconsistencies in punishments until now), he hesitates in handing the whip to Shizun. He glances at Luo Binghe to see the fear in his eyes die down to a dull hue, which bubbles up something unpleasant in Ming Fan. He eventually gets the whip when Shizun threatens to whip him as well, but he excuses himself to go outside. Why does he hate him? Why did that dying light hurt him so?

Ming Fan feels like he's on the verge of something, so while he does so, as the days pass by, people claim he's lost his soul, only wandering around and cultivating. Even Luo Binghe notices something is really off when not only he finds medicine in the wooden shed later on, he accidentally bumps into Ming Fan, and instead of getting yelled at and hit, Ming Fan just looks at him with dead eyes (just like back then) and walks away!!! What the hell!

And when someone else tries to take up the mantle of Binghe's main bully, Ming Fan yells at them!! Tells them to knock it off!

By now, the entire peak knows something is off, to the point where Shizun himself is looking down at Ming Fan, kneeling in the Bamboo Hut, and telling him to focus and actually be productive.

But Ming Fan, deep inside, is being productive and basically therapying himself, because surprise surprise, he's got the classic case of jealousy and self-worthlessness! It's pretty obvious now that he thinks about it - I mean, combine being the second son to a merchant family who is always outshined by his older and younger brother and the fact that his newfound worth and status on QJP is solely being upheld by his martial and intellectual abilities and is now being threatened by Luo Binghe, who is also!! possibly taking away the one person he knows will always be on his side!! (Head canon)

And when the person he is trying to please to be worth something is not happy with Luo BInghe, of course he's going to follow, trying to sabotage his shidi with the false hope that it'll slow him down, not by much, but by enough.

...Yeah, MF is not having a good time.

Flash forward to a few years later, the two of them have a rocky relationship. The bullying has gotten down (mostly because everyone knows that you can't really beat Luo Binghe anymore (gee, I wonder why, maybe because there's less sabotaging from the main cannon fodder)), and Ming Fan is living vicariously through Luo Binghe.

And maybe, just maybe, he falls a little bit for him. Unimaginable, Ming Fan knows that, but... Luo Binghe shines so bright that you forget that you were never worthy of that light in the first place. And despite all that dirt thrown on him, he just continues to shine. He's breathtaking, and his wife beam is not to be underestimated.

Ming Fan looks forward to seeing Luo Binghe (besides being an absolute TSUNDERE in his own mind), and even more so in the Immortal Alliance Conference. But when Luo Binghe falls... what now? What does Ming Fan do now?

In any case, as we the readers know, Luo Binghe comes back, and when Ming Fan finds out, Luo Binghe has already invited a Cang Qiong cultivator into the Huan Hua Palace and vice versa as an... exchange program. Through a series of twists and turns, Ming Fan's the one being chosen, and he ends up going.

Thus enter a series of misunderstandings, pure shenanigans, a closet or two, and by the end of it all, the two have therapied each other into a relationship. (Ming Fan doesn't really know how that happened) (Luo Binghe has some idea since he was interested in how this confusing shixiong broke the mold that everyone else seemed to follow)

So we can conclude that Luo Binghe really does have a shixiong/shizun kink. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[charlie-shmarlie]

▪︎Behind Closed Doors (David 8 x fem reader)

Quick oneshot in which Reader and David share a secret relationship of sorts. Fluffy nonsense ensues <3

This is my first time writing for David, so I apologize if the way I depict him isn't accurate :')

Warnings: none really, reader miiight be a little touch starved, fluff

Word count: 1,998

I'm currently taking headcanon requests for David and Walter :)

---------------------🌑🪐🧬

Not everything is always as it seems. In many cases, as we walk through life, we tend to only experience things on the surface level. Not bothering to pause and allow our curiosity to explore further and deeper. We tend to observe and then simply move on without ever really knowing much more than what is easily displayed for the naked eye.

The same can be equally true for people as well.

__________ ☆

The time was at 2200 hours, meaning it was only 10:00pm or so. The night was still young. The air held a sense of peace and warmth that hung all around the young woman's quarters. Filling in any dead space and devouring the coldness that used to reside therein.

Quiet spread throughout. The only noise that could be heard was the sound of occasional movement and muttered chatter. And the constant low hum of the ship gliding through space with ease. A muffled rumble the crew had become so used to hearing.

Through the white, dimmed lights, a certain scene played out. One that was not only shocking but also quite forbidden.

A man and a woman stood intimately close together. The male's hands were clasped behind his back in a rather professional manner that might seem out of place in this interaction. His body was bent down just slightly so that the woman could properly reach him without struggle. And with a touch so gentle, she cupped the sides of his face with her palms and pressed slow, sugary-sweet pecks all about his face. His cheeks, his jawline, the corners of his mouth. Anywhere that felt right.

But whatever could be wrong with this? Aren't these just the interactions of a loving couple who are simply enjoying each other's presence in private? Well, it's much more difficult than that.

You see, the woman is a young scientist, Dr. Y/n L/n, and part of the Prometheus crew. And yes, while the man is also a fellow member, his roles can vary. And he is not simply just a 'man'. Most would argue that he's not a man at all. Which wouldn't necessarily be a lie. He's of a mechanical nature. An artificial human, if you will. Specifically, a synthetic. The David 8 model, to be exact. Although most refer to him as just David, giving him even more false humanity than he was already programmed with.

Now, I will not go into how this relationship began, or how it was even possible in the first place, because not even I truly know, which is an undeniable showing of just how well they kept such a secret.

David's lips were curled into a faint, fond smile as he stared down at the human, following her every move with his intense blue gaze. The warm sensation of her organic touch against his cold, artificial skin was unlike any other he had ever known.

She continued to hold him, smiling softly in between each kiss. Her expression held nothing but genuine love for the synthetic. (E/c) eyes glowing with warmth and tenderness as she closely admired him.

One might find it odd that she was the only one showing affection, but don't be fooled. For the two, this was the norm.

David isn't usually one for practicing physical intimacy. It's not that he doesn't enjoy it, but more that he doesn't possess the ability to feel the need to engage in it. Occasionally, he will test out very small, simple acts he learns from some of the films he watches. Such as reaching out for her hand or maybe placing a hand on her shoulder but never desires to do much of anything more. So, Y/n doesn't expect it from him.

His 'love language', if you could call it that, rather lies within the time he spends with her. His affections are incredibly subtle, and if one didn't search for them, they would never notice. But they are there regardless. Hidden faintly within his expressions and the undertones of his words, like a secret language only she can read.

However, on the other hand, when it comes to him being the recipient of physical affection. That is a different story.

He had come to deeply crave the sweet, innocent touch of the young woman. The way she would lay out every bit of her care for him and put it on display whenever they were alone. It was always clear in the way she held onto him, like he might disappear if she were to let go. And in the way she spoke so kindly to him, always ignoring the fact that he isn't a 'real person.'

He understood just how profound her love was for him. Though he could never reciprocate the feeling, as it is an exclusively human one. An emotion he can never possess. Yet despite this, he, also felt intensely about her.

It was a different kind of intensity. One that he wrestled with himself to fully comprehend. But it was the closest thing he could relate to that elusive emotion. It was like a puzzle piece stuffed into the wrong picture. It didn't fit quite right, and it looked rather strange. Yet, it appeared just similar enough to work. And that was enough for both of them.

Y/n's lips grazed over the smooth surface of David's flawless complexion. Pressing yet another delicate kiss to the top of his cheekbone.

"You're at your most affectionate tonight, Dr. L/n" He observed plainly. His tone shifting subtly and holding a certain sense of playfulness when addressing her by the professional title. His eyes never once straying from hers.

She suppressed an airy giggle. Pulling back a bit, enough to directly meet his eyes, she suggested,

"Sorry, would you like me to stop for now?" her voice hushed, yet steady, still close enough that the warmth of her gentle breaths fanned his face. Hand sliding down to his neck.

His gaze trailed down to her lips as she spoke before gradually reuniting with her e/c pools once again. Silently analyzing her every blink, dart, breath, and quiet shifting from top to bottom. His system processing and storing the information away in his memory bank while generating an appropriate response within an instant.

"Not at all," he assured, "By all means, please, continue with your..." his words died out for a few seconds. Creating a purposeful tension. A subtle hint of amusement tugging at the corners of his lips, transforming his smile into a light smirk. His hands remained clasped behind his back as he stood unnaturally still. However, the way he looked down at her felt as though a pair of strong arms had already encircled her smaller form.

"...Human displays of affection." he finished. Satisfied with the light, rosy hue that tinted her cheeks. 

Her hands traveled down to meet the tops of his firm shoulders. The lifeless chill of his artificial skin seeped through the soft fabric of his plain, grey t-shirt, greeting her contrasting palms. A stark reminder of just who, and what, exactly she had fallen so hard for. Odd as it may seem, the reminder only rallied up sudden swarms of butterflies in her stomach and a cozy feeling deep in her chest. Something she would experience often when in the android's presence.

She gingerly dug her fingers into his skin in a mindless and calming repetitive motion, letting out a sigh of contentment. Bringing more comfort to herself than to him, though the act didn't go unappreciated. He could feel the gentle vibrations of a hum replying from within her chest against his sensors as she leaned the side of her head into his frame.

"I wish you didn't have to leave tonight," she whispered, momentarily closing her lids and listening to the consistent low whirr of his internal mechanics.

His eyes scanned over her every feature meticulously. Taking note of how calm and at peace she appeared to be. How her body seemed to practically melt into his. How her long lashes fluttered when she brought her eyes up to meet his again. And how her beautiful h/c hair fell all around her face, framing it perfectly in the warmth of the dim lights. Strands catching themselves on his shirt and clinging relentlessly, similarly to the human standing before him.

He stared back at her with endearment. Committing the sight of her like this to memory.

"As do I. Although, I'm afraid suspicions may be raised if I am absent for too long," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I know," she sighed again, knowing it was a stretch but still ever hopeful.

She tried to come up with safe scenarios and excuses to make it work in her head, but deep down she recognized that it would be a bad idea that would likely only lead to trouble in the long run. There would be plenty of chances to get caught or even just draw unwanted attention, and things could get messy in a hurry if even one person began to wonder about the relationship between the human and the android. And that was something neither of them could afford.

Soon enough, they both came to an agreement that David would stay with her until she was ready for bed. Then, he would leave to return to his duties and studies aboard the ship. 

He watched with interest as she went about her nightly rituals. Waiting patiently for her outside of the small bathroom every crew member had attached to their living space while she changed into some comfortable clothes. Then, re-emerging wearing something so simple as a plain, oversized, white t-shirt and a pair of dark blue shorts.

As she sat down in front of the mirror on her vanity, she got lost in the mundane task of brushing out her hair and wiping off makeup. Not knowing just how intensely a certain someone observed her from behind. Taking in her every movement and expression she made. 

His head tilted slightly. Gaze latching onto everything she did as if studying some undiscovered ethereal creature. From the very first time he had laid eyes on her, lying blissfully unconscious in her cryogenic state, he found himself rather captivated. Her appearance bringing him a sense of something like pleasure that unknowingly drove him to want to learn more about her. Understand her. Be near her.

He could only compare her charm to that of an ancient oil painting. So pleasant to look at on the surface with many layers of complexities hidden underneath. So much yet to explore and discover and contemplate. 

Once she had finished, she returned to the synthetic. Rising up on the ends of her toes and leaving one last lingering kiss on his cheek; a sort of bittersweet gesture to say: 'goodnight.'

"Maybe someday, when this is all over, we won't have to do this," she wondered out loud. A twinge of uncertainty marring her hopeful expression. Her thumb lightly caressing his skin, hesitating to pull away.

It was a pleasant idea; the thought of them having something of a life together. Completely unrealistic, yes, but pleasant, nonetheless.

Her heart jumped when two hands came to grip the tops of her arms. Holding her carefully in place. The rare contact of his fingers sent a shiver down her spine. There were only a few seconds of silence until he slowly leaned in and planted a kiss against her forehead, so light and so careful that she barely even felt the sensation of his cool lips tenderly brushing her hairline.

He remained close. His voice lower than before as he muttered softly over her skin,

"Perhaps."

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What do you think about Equius and Eridan's ship? I think this is a pretty entertaining idea (I'm aware that they don't really tolerate each other, but maybe they could share their problems with each other and help each other?)

I won't tell people what they should and shouldn't ship, but it's unsupported by canon & I personally don't think they'd be a good fit for each other, because Equius is kind of a prude who's genuinely made uncomfortable by Eridan's incredibly strong emotional neediness, and Eridan needs attention from his friends and especially romantic partners, which Equius isn't really equipped to provide. But again, if you like it, don't let me stop you!

Uhhh warnings for talking about sexual stuff because unfortunately Equius is just kind of Like That and you can't really discuss him in good faith without getting into it.

Basically, Equius's deal is that he's kind of sheltered. His specific position in the hemocaste means he gets to avoid a lot of the awful shit the other highbloods have to deal with, while still being high enough that he gets to avoid lowblood problems entirely. He doesn't have to worry about being culled or even of having to cull others - at least, not until adulthood - to the point where he's in a position to object to Nepeta killing wild animals. The murder of other real, thinking, breathing people seems like a distant problem for future Equius - not a tangible reality quickly catching up to him.

CT: D --> You e%terminate beautiful, innocent creatures by the hundreds CT: D --> I can't condone such wretched behavior CT: D --> Beasts are meant to be 100ked upon with adoration AC: :33 < but AC: :33 < i eat them! AC: :33 < i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean CT: D --> I guess that's basically acceptable in principle, but I still find it a bit unsavory

He knows that Alternia is dangerous, and that bad, horrible things happen to other people (I mean, he's neighbors with Vriska lmao), but he has the privilege of simply electing not to participate, and that's the solution he keeps presenting to Nepeta: don't talk to the lowbloods, because they'll harm you, don't talk to the highbloods, because they'll harm you, and don't play their dangerous games. I mean, it works for him!

CT: D --> The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those stink-b100ded h001igans strikes me as scandal beyond measure CT: D --> I'm afraid you're too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption

EQUIUS: D --> Yes, which is among the reasons why I must make your prote%ion a high priority EQUIUS: D --> The highb100d has joined a stable of those who are becoming increasingly volatile and murderous as we remain stranded in this laboratory EQUIUS: D --> I command you to steer clear of them, do you understand

He has a kindly lusus who takes very good care of him, met his soulmate very early on, has a neighbor/friend he gets along with pretty well, and gets to spend basically all of his free time pursuing his hobbies and interests with no pressing duties or responsibilities to distract him. As far as is possible on Alternia, he's lived a charmed and peaceful life.

Now, although I'm going to make the caveat early that he's not actually that casteist, Equius is still the most casteist member on the team, short of post-corruption!Gamzee. The fact that he's sheltered is one of the primary reasons for this: he's never had a reason to question casteism, because casteism has always been pretty correct in his book, and he's never had the need nor impetus to question it any further than that. After all, lowbloods DO wind up getting themselves into horrible situations, and highbloods DO tend to be murderous, dangerous assholes. This is just The Way Things Are, right?

For more specific examples, the Team Charge debacle - which Equius had to know about because he's the one who patched Vriska up afterwards - ended with Tavros unable to walk and Aradia "broken" (most of the team didn't know she was dead until they entered the game; Terezi tells Vriska she thinks "whatever Vriska did to her" must've broken her brain somehow since she was never the same since). Meanwhile, the two highbloods really only got injured by each other. In Equius's eyes, this would've reinforced his views: lowbloods live dangerous lives wrought by their inherent degeneracy, and always suffer worse for it, while highbloods are unstable and violent, but ultimately faultless and unpunishable except by each other.

He also - again - is Vriska's neighbor, and Vriska's psionics work best on lowbloods, so that's the vast majority of who she brings in for her lusus to eat. The two most crass people on the team are also Karkat and Sollux - the latter of which is very much a lowblood, while the former regularly throws himself in with the "gutter bloods"; the fact that they swear and make sex jokes genuinely freaks Equius out, since he's a sheltered little noble boy who refuses to say cuss words.

EQUIUS: D --> For pete's goodfornothing di%ie whistling SA%ES, Nepeta

So with Equius, we see how unexamined and uninterrogated privilege and sheltering can lead to genuinely harmful beliefs. Equius's feelings come from a good place: he sees all these poor lowbloods dying and suffering, and all these high bloods doing horrific, scary shit, and he instinctively knows that something is wrong and the world they live in is dangerous - or else he wouldn't be trying to protect Nepeta from it. He knows that because she's lower than he is on the hemospectrum, she's much more at risk than he is of something terrible happening to her, so as much as possible, he tries to keep her away from engaging with the rest of society.

CT: D --> Well, green b100d is ok, but it's not great CT: D --> But that's why you're lucky to have me to 100k out for you CT: D --> Because you don't know better, and you can't fight the role the mother had in store for you

But because he's had no reason to challenge or question the casteist beliefs he was taught, the horrific stuff he witnesses actually reinforces them. In an attempt to make sense out of the terrible world he lives in, he falls back on the easy answers, the ones he's been repeatedly told since he was a child: lowbloods suffer because they are inherently "worse" than highbloods, and highbloods are inherently "better," so they're allowed to indulge all their most violent and horrific impulses and it's not actually a problem. He's comfortable with his reality; why isn't everybody else?

So um, that brings us to the sex stuff. Basically, because Equius is so sheltered, he doesn't realize that he has a massive BDSM kink, and kind of a voyeurism kink, and that a lot of the gratification and pleasure he feels from indulging in them are... um......... "that kind" of gratification and pleasure. To be honest, I think if someone genuinely levelled with him and pointed it out, he'd have a mental breakdown over it. Because, like, at his core, Equius is a polite, kind, helpful guy. There's a reason he listens to Karkat same as the rest of the team, why he helps with Tavros's robot legs, why Nepeta even likes him so much. A lot of his worst aspects just stem from the fact that he's conflating his desire to be stepped on with the hemocaste being an inescapable, correct reality.

He's basically this post lol:

So about specifically him and Eridan, like. We actually have Equius's outright stated opinion on Eridan.

CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT, I DON'T GET IT CG: YOU KISS THE GROUND THIS LUNATIC WALKS ON BECAUSE HE HAS PURPLE BLOOD CG: BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM RIPPING ON ERIDAN, I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU DON'T LIKE HIM CG: AND HIS BLOOD IS EVEN PURPLIER, ISN'T IT? CT: D --> Yes CT: D --> That's different CT: D --> He is a sea dweller CT: D --> Our feud is codified in tradition CT: D --> Neigh, we are obligated to be at odds CT: D --> It's dignified ... CG: THE POINT IS, IF YOU SEE HIM, WOULD YOU MIND SNAPPING HIS STUPID WAND IN HALF OR SOMETHING? CG: AND THEN CHOKE HIM TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN SHITTY PRETENTIOUS SCARF. CT: D --> Do I really have to CG: GOD, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW? CT: D --> I'd prefer not to interact with him CG: WHY CT: D --> It's primarily that his advances make me uncomfortable

See, Eridan... is not really Equius's type. And I can see why! Equius places a lot of importance on decorum and a100fness. Here's him basically telling Gamzee about why he's attracted to Gamzee and Aradia:

CT: D --> See, that's what I mean CT: D --> How is it possible for one of your distin%ion to be so ignorant CT: D --> And loathesome CT: D --> Whereas CT: D --> A member of the most abject, verminous b100dline of all CT: D --> Can conduct herself with such grace and possess nothing but admirable mannerisms CT: D --> I find these striking ju%tapositions perple%ing, and I confess strangely into%icating

He hates that Gamzee acts dumb and friendly, and wants him to be mean and commanding - and is probably lowkey picking up on the fact that Gamzee DOES have that within him, although he's hiding it. At the same time, he's weirdly attracted to how Aradia is aloof, intelligent, and strong-willed, despite being the lowest possible caste. Basically, Equius wants a pretty classically cultured dom to put him in his place - bonus points if caste-play is involved, whether it's a higher caste acting in accordance to their position on the spectrum, or a lower caste degrading him to a point below themselves.

So, initially, you'd think that Eridan would actually be his ideal for such a position, land dweller/sea dweller feud notwithstanding. After all, Eridan is all about acting like a traditional sea dweller, talking up his nobility and how much better he is than the lower castes, wanting the land dwellers dead/in their place, etc. etc.

But that's where we hit a snag. Eridan is pretending. He's pretending in the opposite direction of Gamzee, in fact. Where Gamzee is genuinely quite mean and nasty, but masking that in an attempt to get along better with his friends, Eridan is actually pretty - well, "nice" is the wrong word, but he's desperately presenting himself as meaner and more casteist than he actually is.

Equius wants to be effortlessly dominated, but Eridan puts in 110% at all times. Equius wants someone who upholds the caste system, and Eridan is actually totally indiscriminate when hitting on people because he actually doesn't give a shit about class differences. Equius wants someone who commands respect, but Eridan is kind of the team laughingstock. Also Eridan swears in proportion to his dialogue second only to Karkat.

Eridan's emotional desperation, disregard for the caste system, and cringefail antics are all massive turnoffs for Equius, and in a lot of ways, genuinely kind of scare him. I mean, again, Equius is a sheltered little noble boy who's made uncomfortable by cussing or killing animals for meat - and here's Eridan, one of the team's biggest murderers, genuinely obsessed with death and genocide, mouth of a sailor, willing to shoot his shot with anyone on the hemospectrum. Equius gets along better with Karkat, and Karkat's not even ON the hemospectrum.

It wouldn't even be pitch or ashen hatred to me, because Equius doesn't object to Eridan, morally or ethically - he just finds Eridan uncomfortable to be around, and prefers not to interact with him if he can help it. And that's really bad for Eridan, because Eridan's basically a huge emotional wreck and has a pretty fundamental need for emotional support and attention from his romantic partners - I've touched on it before, I think when I talked about him and Tavros, but Eridan has a genuine anxiety attack when Vriska accidentally ghosts him (because she's mercy killing her lusus), and I really don't think it would be good for him if he were to become emotionally attached to the guy whose whole Thing is standing in the background and watching without interacting.

As for discussing their problems... like, that's kind of the thing? They don't actually have overlapping problems. Eridan's issues primarily stem from the pressures his position on the hemocaste have placed on him, whereas Equius has actually actively benefited from and enjoyed his position in that class structure. Like, even if they tried to share notes on their respective character arcs about shirking the shitty things Alternia imposed on them, it'd be like,

EQUIUS: D--> Did you know that one's position in the hemospe%rum has little to no bearing on their moral integrity or worth as a person ERIDAN: are you a fuckin idiot eq

ERIDAN: guess all that obsessin ovver murder wwas a huge fuckin wwaste ERIDAN: and didnt do me no good nor anybody else for that matter EQUIUS: D--> Well EQUIUS: D--> Yeah

Even if we try to bring in things that aren't strictly related to being a high blood and what that means on Alternia - like if we run with the idea that Eridan's lusus contributed to Eridan's shitty childhood - well, unfortunately, Equius can't relate. Aurthour was incredibly kind to Equius growing up and he loved Aurthour dearly. So on and so forth.

And, uh... this is kind of weird to say, but despite how forward Eridan is about romance, he's actually... kind of reserved, sexually? He doesn't crack sex jokes and his fixation on romantic relationships is more about the act of being in a relationship than about what they do in that relationship. His date ideas are pretty straightforward and traditional, because he tends to prioritize "doing a good job" and "living up to the standard" over how he actually feels or his own personal interests.

What I'm saying is, Equius's horniness would probably make Eridan uncomfortable. Especially before Equius realizes that he's just got massive kinks that he should probably keep under control - which is basically the entire comic - Equius tends to prioritize what they do in a relationship over the act of actually being in a relationship. In fact, he'd probably be just as happy to get domm'd by Gamzee or Aradia even if they weren't actually dating. That's a kind of freedom and trueness to one's desires that Eridan can't manage; moreover, because Eridan tends to prioritize "doing a good job", he's pretty willing to go along with whatever his partner wants - which, in Equius's case, means Eridan doing more of the thing that's actively harmed them both. And I just don't think that that'd be good for Eridan.

So, yeah, overall, not a good fit for each other, but again, don't let me stop you!

The most interesting arrangement of Eridan and Equius, to me personally, is the fact that I think Eridan and Nepeta would actually be pretty good friends once they started talking (and Eridan got a moirail). Nepeta is the Anti-Casteism troll, the only one to outright state that she believes blood color shouldn't matter, and Eridan's whole deal is being less casteist than he pretends to be, to the point of genuinely being the least casteist highblood. And they both RP and hunt for stuff.

However, if there's any example of "dangerous highblood" on the team before Gamzee snaps, it's Eridan, and Equius has pretty deep concern for Nepeta's safety, which actually sometimes comes at Nepeta's detriment. It wouldn't escalate to pitch or ashen, but I really like the idea of the two of them having an antagonistic relationship because Equius does NOT want Nepeta interacting with this insane murderer, while Eridan is like, bro, let the kitty cat cave shipper girl decide for herself, and Nepeta is like, why must boys fight.

[atlas7seo]

TDP season 7 spoilers***

Ok just it was good. It was good I enjoyed it. It seemed a lot more focused than previous seasons but like I'm also really annoyed. I know they wanted to have an arc 3 but it genuinely feels like they set up all these things and then they didn't resolve any of them. They spent so long in previous seasons lollygagging just to not follow through. Like Aaravos is dead but not really and Claudia is somewhere waiting for Aaravos. But like really? It feels like more of a cliffhanger than arc one and really unsatisfying. I mean like come on! I want an arc 3 and I know a bunch of people do too, but genuinely I don't think it will happen man. I wish the ending was a little more fulfilling.

Such as Callum's sacrifice, you cannot spend a good 10-20 minutes soley on the devastation that it is to just not follow through or leave some consequences! Like I know that if Aaravos comes back, he's vulnerable but like we might never see those sacrifices! And it feels cheap to build it up and just do nothing with it. They keep teasing us with Dark Magic Callum and I need them to follow through for once.

When they said people might die, I thought people we really connected to would die. Like Lujanne! But no! Only the Archdragons. (and Karim, but he's stupid) and like I love Zubeia as much as the next person but like COME ON. How did Lujanne not die!? It's like they introduced stakes but never actually pulled away from the kid friendly plot armor. WHY ARE WE GETTING HARROW BACK!? THEY'VE MOVED ON! Is it not cheap to bring back all of the main casts' parents? There are no consequences from season 1! I get bringing back Runaan, but Harrow too? Just let them grieve and move on! Let people stay dead! (I am glad that Viren is staying dead tho.... like it's about time)

Also Karim is as infuriating and boring as always. Like I'm so glad that if arc 3 comes we don't have to deal with his bs again. Like I saw the getting crushed twist a mile away but like fair enough.

I'm sure some people are annoyed about the ships but like it's fine. They had moments but honestly I was more invested in the Aaravos.

Ezran made me mad but in a good way. He frustrates me but I'm glad he got some character development for once. But like bruuhhhhhhh the Nova blade made me so mad. They're just squeezing Ezran into the plot at that point. Like oh shoot , Ezran should be at the final battle! Let's uhhhh give Zym super speed. Obviously it was cool but also unnecessary. Why introduce the Nova Blade if a dragon bite can kill him? It seems a little redundant.

I know this is a lot of complaints but I genuinely really enjoyed the season. The ending is what really got me worked up. It was fun and I think they've finally found the perfect middleground of weird filler ish stuff and actual plot. I do really hope there will be a 3rd arc.

[augiewrites]

"secret admirer" - dead poets society (part 5)

summary: y/n receives a curious invitation from meeks and has a surprise encounter with neil and todd

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.2k

previous | next

It was finally Friday, and Y/N was looking forward to spending the weekend recovering from a week of non-stop exams, cramming, and a nonexistent sleep schedule. The morning’s classes had been a drag so far, and they were looking forward to the reprieve of Keating’s class. Knowing they'd be in close proximity to their admirer aside, Keating’s class gave them an opportunity to activate another part of their brain—one concerned less with grades and formulas.

No, this part was more concerned with matters of feeling. Matters of love, art, expression—everything crucial to finding true meaning in life.

Meaning.

Something that Y/N’s life—and the students of Welton’s lives—was severely lacking.

Y/N shoved the existential crisis to the back of their mind, shooting Todd a smile as he occupied the desk at the front of the class.

Their desk compartment was empty aside from their textbook and notes. Y/N felt their heart drop. It had been empty for days.

Did I make a mistake leaving that poem?

Y/N did their best to not look disappointed. The only thing more embarrassing than their poet’s lack of response was the thought of him observing their discontent.

Keating’s class didn't give them much reprieve that day.

_________________________________________ 

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themselves in the library during common hour. In all truth, Y/N just wanted to go back to their dorm and bang their head against the wall until they fell asleep. Alas, the expectation of a 4.0 GPA was looming over their head.

Thankfully, Meeks was the only other person to show up. Y/N didn't think they had the strength to deal with Dalton.

“So are you just going to keep side eyeing me, or do you have something to say?” Y/N set down their pencil and turned to face Meeks.

“Y/N, you've sighed three times within the last minute,” Meeks quipped, "seems like you're the one with something to say."

“But I'm right, though. You have something you want to say."

“I'll share with the class if you will.”

The two stared at each other for a moment—Meeks' expression much lighter compared to Y/N’s frustrated features.

Y/N gave in first.

“I’m tired, Meeks."

“Of?..."

“Everything.”

“You’re going to have to give me a little more here, Y/N.”

“…”

"I'm waiting."

“My GPA dropped to a 3.7," Y/N’s gaze was fixed to the table, “my parents are not happy. I feel like all I ever do is try, but it's not enough, and it never will be. My social life is practically nonexistent, I don't remember the last time I had fun, and I can feel my spirit dying. Some days it feels like I'm dying."

“You’re more than your grades, Y/N. You have to know that."

“I know that, Meeks. They don't,” Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “they ship me off to this prison, don't let me come home for breaks, and they call me maybe twice a semester if I'm lucky. They see my grades more than they ever see me."

Meeks was silent for a beat as Y/N cradled their head in their hands.

“Tomorrow night. Meet me outside the East wing at 10PM.”

“Meeks, what are you—“

“Just trust me. If you care about your spirit, anyway."

“Fine,” Y/N began packing their bag and stood up, nodding absentmindedly, "yeah, okay."

Because everything was cosmically determined to go wrong, Y/N crashed into Charlie as they rounded the corner out of the library. Their armload of textbooks crashed to the floor.

“Don’t you know to look both ways before crossing the street?" Charlie joked as he knelt to pick up Y/N’s books.

Y/N kept their head down as they gathered the mess of note paper that exploded out of their trig book.

“I mean, really, Y/N. If you want to feel me up you don't need to be so aggressive about it—“

Charlie’s sly smile melted into concern when he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” Charlie passed the books to Y/N and placed a gentle hand on their upper am.

Y/N gave the boy a tight lipped smile and stepped away from his touch.

“I'm fine, Dalton," Y/N was already moving down the hall.

“Y/N—“

“If you're looking for Meeks, he's still in there."

Y/N disappeared around the corner, leaving Charlie staring at the space they just occupied.

_________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t one for skipping class, but it was the last period of the day and Y/N thought their head would explode if they didn’t get away from everyone as soon as possible.

They triple checked that the hallway was empty before rushing into the storage room filled with students’ empty luggage.

But the room wasn’t unoccupied like they expected.

Neil Perry and Todd Anderson were in the middle of the room, locked in a gentle embrace.

They jumped apart when they heard Y/N’s soft sound of surprise, and the trio looked at each other in shock for a beat.

“We were just—” Neil took a step away from Todd before the other boy cut him off, surprising everyone, seemingly including himself.

“We’re together.”

They all stared at each other for another moment before Neil stepped forward again.

“You can’t tell anyone, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” Y/N blinked, suddenly coming alive again, “I would never.”

Relief washed over the two boys. Todd was more red than Y/N thought was humanly possible.

“Okay, I’m just gonna,” Y/N took a step back and jerked a thumb over their shoulder at the door, “go…”

They turned quickly to leave.

“Y/N.” Neil’s hand enclosed their wrist as they reached for the doorknob.

They looked up into Neil’s soft gaze, a faint smile on his face, “thank you.”

“Of course,” they returned the smile and waved to Todd as they slipped out the door, rushing to their dorm to avoid being caught for truancy.

_________________________________________

Y/N had been laying in bed for all of fifteen minutes before they heard the familiar sound of paper sliding under the door.

They were out of bed and rushing to open the door before they could think twice. Truancy be damned.

The empty hallway mocked Y/N.

Frustrated tears welled in their eyes as they slammed the door and grabbed the envelope off the floor before ripping it open.

Beloved Y/N,

In your eyes, a storm silently brews, Emotional tempest, tears it strews. I stand close, a silent observer, Love entangled in your pain, a fervent preserver.

Your hurt, a whisper in the quiet air, A shared burden, a weight to bear. In the shadows, love stands strong, A balm for wounds, a solace lifelong.

In the heart's tempest, emotions entwine, Love persists, a steadfast lifeline. I may not heal all that pains your soul, But together, in love, we find a way to be whole.

x, Yours.

Y/N let the tears flow freely as they sunk down onto the bed.

They were certain of who wasn’t their poet, but they were in denial about who it could be.

~~~

part six

a/n: any reality where neil and todd aren't in love is a crime against nature

taglist: @vvnbxz @edb954

[tragic-ships-tournament]

Tragic Ships Tournament Round 2

Propaganda under the cut!

Towen:

"'they're like if bi4bi people were sad. owen is a classic case of "my one true love died because there was an alien in her brain so now i pick up men and women at clubs but can't commit myself to loving again" while tosh is more "i had a traumatic childhood but now im in a genuinely good place in my life and think my coworkers really cute even though he's an utter twat" my girl spends sooo long pining for him. but she does not believe in her ability to be loved because the last woman she dated was an alien with ulterior motives and the last man she liked was frozen alive and woken up to fulfill a time loop. also the last woman owen dated was from the 1950s but got sucked through a time rift and he was really sad about that. and honestly i COULD go into why the first woman he's liked was one who he knew would leave him and that's why he felt safe enough to fall in love but i digress. you see when owen dies, he's brought back temporarily and tosh confesses her love because it's her last chance. WRONG actually he's back for good. except he can't breathe or heal or whatever and he's possessed by death itself but that's irrelevant. what's relevant is that he's all like "I know you only said that because I was dead" even tho he's stupid and has interpreted every date she asked him on as a work thing. but then in the FINALE 💔💔 he dies again for real this time. owen is trying to stop a nuclear meltdown initiated by this guy john but he doesn't know what he's doing so he calls tosh to guide him through it bc she's their tech genius. but while she's helping john shows up and shoots her and they don't stop the meltdown in time and they both know they're dying but neither of them can stop it. tosh pretends she's fine but owen is having a breakdown and she just calms him down. and they talk about each other and their memories and he's sorry he didn't realise she loved him and they never got that date and it is VERY SAD 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 and then they both die"

Janice and Melina:

No propaganda submitted :(

[aihoshiino]

chapter 165 thoughts

Aqua Hoshigan Status: It's Officially Hoshinover

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 1

damn i guess they really did just kill his ass

I'm gonna be so real with you gamers, I kind of don't have a lot to say about this one either lol. Which I acknowledge sounds completely wild given the Everything that happens in it, but most of my meat and potatoes analysis in these reviews comes from breaking down characterization and we're flying through everything at such breakneck pace that we're barely getting any characterization.

It continues to drive me bugfuck insane that Ai is completely absent from this finale despite the importance of 15 Year Lie. Its imagery is plastered all over but whenever we return to it, we just see Aqua. Not only that, but Gotanda is the one who insists on pushing the movie through for Aqua. 15YL as a story about Ai's true self and her tragedy is now officially taking a backseat to being about Aqua's tragic death and legacy. It was already bad enough that we spent so much time in the Movie Arc not actually focusing on Ai to the extent that, as everyone pointed out, based on what we saw on-page it was basically a Sad Kamiki Movie, but this really is just pissing right in the wound at this point lmao.

The funeral scene also serves as the final nail in the coffin for any Secretly Alive Aqua copes, which is kind of a relief. I still don't like how Aqua's death played out, but I think dragging it out for four chapters then going "sorry you thought i was /srs when i was just /jk" would have been infinitely more insulting. I don't like this ending, but I can respect that Akasaka seems to be sticking to his guns on it, even if we still do have like a whole chapter left for him to whip around and go "I WAS /JK ALL ALONG!!!!" but I don't see it happening.

Anyway, yeah! The funeral! Uh. Is it gonna sound weird if I say I felt kind of like… grossed out reading this the first time? Like, I really don't know how else to explain the visceral "why the fuck is the author making me read this" reaction I had to it. I think it's just because Kana is so fucking distraught here and the drama is just so hammy and so over the top that it feels kind of… ech. I dunno. I just really didn't vibe.

It doesn't help that this is part of a much broader pattern in the back half of OnK of Aka getting us right up close into the gory details of a character's complete mental breakdown and suffering and then spend zero time or focus on their recovery. This happened with Ruby all over the Movie Arc and this many times and with this little runway to the end of the series, it just starts to feel exploitative, like a way to cheaply pull at our heartstrings without doing the work to build everyone back up after tearing them down.

also pre-emptively dreading all the fuel this is going to add to the fires of People Who Are Weird And Misogynistic About Kana but she could die saving innocent children from a burning building and people would find reasons to be shitty about her lmao

we really are not seeing ruby's reaction to finding out her brother was dead huh lol

I will say the one thing I didn't Actively Dislike about this chapter was Ruby, though. I was honestly starting to get pretty skeeved out with how many people were gleefully predicting or actively wishing for her immediate suicide purely for ship motivated reasons and I was also worrying that the story was going to pretend that Ruby doesn't like. Have a life and support system outside of Aqua. Yes, she should absolutely be affected by his death but this period of her shutting down only to drag herself back onto her feet that we seem to be getting feels way more in line with pre-Movie Arc flanderization Ruby and I'll take that W where I can get it.

god. I haven't even talked about Kamiki's supposed serial killer cult. I just don't have the strength. Like… that's self-evidently stupid, right? I don't need to explain to you why that's ridiculous and unbelievable? You don't need me to tell you why it's fucking crazy that we're getting this information about the alleged overarching antagonist of the series not only in the second-to-last chapter of the entire series but after he was already dead, right? We can just move on? Ok good. jesus christ.

FINAL CHAPTER NEXT WEEK…

[burningcheese-merchant]

I need Eternal Sugar x Hollyberry content, please!

Dug to the bottom of the inbox mountain for this one lol. hollysugar-merchant, coming at you live 🫵🗣️🔥 (is that what the ship is called? HollySugar? I don't actually know, that's what i got used to calling it)

Eternal Sugar, being a musician, likes to play songs on her harp for Hollyberry. Eager to please, she at first went out of her way to pick up Hollyberrian tunes, knowing that Holly's people and culture are already quite musically inclined and believing it would win more of Holly's favor. After enough reassurance from Holly that she doesn't need to "impress" her (she just loves that Sugar can play something and is good at it, and she cares enough to want to play for Holly), Sugar allows herself to just play whatever song she has in mind at the time. Her goal had always been to serenade Holly and make her happy - and she always succeeds, which was all she wanted, anyway

Lots of brushing and styling each other's hair for fun, I can imagine. Eternal Sugar looks extremely feminine so it's easy to ascribe the "girly" affinity for makeup and hair and fashion and things of that nature to her. She'd love to dote on Hollyberry in this manner: just relaxing in their room, chatting with her while she brushes her hair. And Holly is happy to oblige, because she enjoys it and Sugar is really adorable when she does this

Hollyberry tries to encourage Eternal Sugar to go out and do things a lot, just in general. She can be (and often is, because it's Holly lol) a bit much, which leads to Sugar sort of digging her heels in and maybe them bickering about it, but Sugar at least acknowledges that Holly means well. Old habits die hard, is all. (Harder still when you're a Beast lol)

Sugar is very, very clingy in bed (sleep-wise, you perv lol). She'll curl up next to Holly, wrap her arms around her tight and not let go for anything. Good news is she's not super physically strong (not compared to Holly, anyway), so it's not that big of a hassle to peel her off when it's time to get up. Bad news is Sugar sleeps like the dead, so it's almost impossible to actually get her to wake up and start the day with Holly like Holly wants/prefers. And if/when she wakes up and notices that she is no longer glued to Holly like she was when she fell asleep... oh boy. It's Whinin' Time lol

Sugar finds Holly's family very cute. Her son in particular, just because of how much he resembles her. She dotes on him (and the others, of course; she also loves Princess very much, she's even more like Hollyberry than Royal Berry is) whenever she sees him. He and his friends and family get used to her presence and even welcome her to some degree after they stop being terrified of her lol

Sugar can be quite jealous, and doubles down on that jealousy when the one causing it actively does try to get in the way of her and Hollyberry. She goes back and forth between liking Wildberry and disliking him (Wildberry just dislikes her lol). She is sweet towards Jungleberry until the latter's mostly unshakeable distrust of her becomes a little TOO apparent. It is On Sight with Pitaya Dragon lol (she is VERY unhappy with how often Pitaya wants to spend time with Holly, even if it's only in a friendly capacity and the romantic threat is entirely imaginary. Pitaya just does not like Sugar in any way, shape or form; not really out of concern for Holly's safety or anything, he just thinks she sucks, there's really nothing else to it)

Sorry these are kind of lame :/ there's not enough for me to work with wrt Eternal Sugar. I'm sure I'll think of better things whenever she's added to the game and we actually see what she's like