#i hyperfixated on it YEARS ago then kind of forgot about it and then remembered about it suddenly and got obsessed all over again
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been a little slow with art so heres some mha x mystic messenger art i did a while back !! because i always have to combine my hyperfixations
close ups below!!
#alex arts#mha#bnha#mystic messenger#my hero academia#bakugo katsuki#izuku midoriya#todoroki shoto#denki kaminari#i remember having a lot of fun with these :)#mysmes was like tmnt with me tho#i hyperfixated on it YEARS ago then kind of forgot about it and then remembered about it suddenly and got obsessed all over again#i dont have the time for it anymore :( but ive thought about downloading it again a lot lol#edit: i didnt realize when i posted this that the formatting was wonky..... fixed it i think#edit2: nvm mobile just hates me so im just gonna leave it
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@toffeebrew so I finished it.
(One-shot under the cut)
Y/n had left the utmv Fandom a while ago, they had entered THAT side of the Fandom. The side that every Fandom had. The side that made Y/n feel horrible, the constant worry of being judged had ruined the fun but that was years and years ago. They had grown a lot in that time, lost the friends they thought would judge them and over time they forgot about their time in the Fandom but then… they came across a TikTok of the silly guys they fell in love with and it all came flooding back… they remembered how these little guys were what got them into art, but they also remembered the toxicity.
Y/n approached the Fandom cautiously at first only going through their old art and reminiscing about Their aus. They started scrolling through TikTok and started seeing utmv content then when they got sick of TikTok they went to Tumblr and there the hyperfixation was reignited. They fell in love with the characters all over again absorbing all the info they could but they also remembered something… ink.
Would he be mad? What would he think about Y/n abandoning him? ….
What the hell is Y/n thinking? Ink isn't real! Well… ink and everyone still felt real in Y/n's heart.
The doodlesphere was less active than the early years but it still was buzzing with activity, Ink as usual was bouncing around while reading the newest au list, it was from a new creator! It wasn't exactly the best, but that doesn't matter!
Ink has the philosophy that: an au always means something to someone even if it's one person it has a place in the doodlesphere!
Ink couldn’t help but smile and put the au up in the doodlesphere. He moved back into the center of the doodlesphere and took in the aus surrounding him. Suddenly Ink heard a voice, ink has always heard creators while they work but this was a voice he had missed… Y/n! He was practically jumping up and down while skipping around
Ink immediately went towards the au that was being worked on, a theatrical Tale, ya the name was a mouthful but eh. Ink appeared in what appeared to be clip studio paint, which wasn't the art medium Y/n used to use but it has been years so they must have improved a ton! They were redesigning the sans and papyrus of the universe First, the sans was wearing black sweatpants, and a black hoodie as well as a pair of gloves. Papyrus was a completely different story, dramatic carvings laced his now much more armor like battle body, a lance laid on his hip and there was a note pointing to the get up saying “Not real, would be a risk to actors.”
Y/n was mumbling along to a random song, ink couldn’t really hear it but he assumed it was either an emo song, mitski, a musical, or MARINA since most creators seem to like those.
Ink couldn’t contain himself anymore, he used broomie to draw in the reference window. “Y/N!!!!!!! Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!! It's ink!!! I'm so so so so so so so happy to see you again!!!!” it took a minute For Y/n to notice, of course, while drinking some coffee which made them cough, which made Ink chuckle. Y/n seemed nervous as they spoke “ink?! Holy fuck. I… uh… I… fuck. Hi?” Y/n's nervousness was barely picked up by ink but Y/n was one of the few people he could read slightly, he didn't know why but he oddly got Y/n somewhat they just kind of clicked. Ink erased what he wrote then began writing “what's wrong your seem nervous” Y/n sighed before continuing as they placed down their cup and continued to draw “It's nothing really, it's just… are you not mad? I left for so long… I basically Abandoned you and my aus.”
Ink was mildly surprised but shook his head not like Y/n could see him, yet again he used broomie again, writing “I'm not mad! I'm so happy you're back! I missed you a lot! Also I love these designs so far!”
Y/n smiled softly and shook their head even after all these years… ink never changes.
And that's a good thing in a way… because in the end he'll always be there to help. Always be there to info dump too. Always just… excited to help with the creative process. Even if Y/n knew he couldn't technically feel emotions It didn't mean his emotions were less valid.
Ink was a friend in a sense even if he wasn't in Y/n's reality… he was still a friend
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not you coming back just to remind me of my old pokemon obsession/j
I remember watching Pokemon XYZ series when I was younger (probably the closest thing to anime I've ever watched) I used to be a hardcore fan back then, used to watch many gameplays theories stuff and all...-
Pokemon were like,,, my only interest back then? Damn I used to be crazy about those creatures, still remember how whenever I was playing a Pokemon game my team was almost exclusively flying types (birds! I love them!) and an Eevee (later one of the eeveelutions, probably vaporeon)
I don't recall watching your animatic in the past but it feels very familiar to me like some kind of deja vu so it's possible I've actually seen it before! And I must say it has a very nostalgic feel to it! I can see how much you've improved since then but the animatic still is very cool! I love it <3
(ALSO I almost forgot how much I loved Sycamore's design back then ghghhghghgh he's such a pretty man)
Welp, now I go back to watching Welsknight and some other Pokemon animatics because you messed with my algorithm and led me into diving into an old obsession -
LMAOOO MAY <3 I’m so sorry for the YouTube algorithm that’s so funny XD yeah idk, Pokémon’s one of those things that never left me— mcyt has been at the forefront of my hyperfixations for a very long while but I still always play the new games and have brief Pokémon obsessions every now and then hehe (also!!! flying pokemon and eevee beloved!!! <333333)
Funny enough, it always happens at times like these when most of my Drawing Brain+Brainrot is taken up by school or professional work, bc my free time is instead spent playing games I can zone out to like Pokémon :>
About 2 months ago I picked up Legends Arceus for the first time since I didn’t get to finish it two years ago, and seeing cheeky references to the characters I grew up with + the insane plot that is this game gripped me so tightly that I’ve kinda been in a Pokémon spiral (/pos) ever since LOL. I’ve been a submas freak lately and if anyone who has ever been into the funny train men has me on discord they’ll know that my status is very telling <3 maybe I’ll post some of the background doodles I’ve been doing lately!! I’m such a freak about minecraft idk why I’m embarrassed to be equally freakish about the other ““game for children”” LMAO
#1-marigold-1#ask#Pokémon#I also would like to stream sometime soon just to hang and work on my exhibition… that would be nice#I just gotta pick a day and stick to it bc whenevr I think about streaming i always psyche myself out#despite loving it every time once I actually get going#you know how that tasty executive dysfunction is <3#anyway. touched and very happy that so many of u guys love Pokémon stuff =w=
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Uhm...
Hi everyone?
Back from my little break I guess.
1 year is quite little
yea sure April 18 ,2023( the last time I posted) was a long time ago but,
"It's April 21st!! Of 2024!!"
oh wait I'm talking to myself again..
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Guess whose back, Back again, Shady's back..tell a friend.
yea
I have an excuse! I was going to take a break in observance of my little sister turning 10 (she's 11 she's growing up way too fast), boom one year later.
Genuinely forgot why I left Tumblr,for that matter social media after that..blame it on mental health and stress.
People should know that stuff happens in a year, things change. So guess what, this blog is changing..whoopi. Excluding my pfp I love it so much for absolutely no reason
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Blog things.
When I created this blog, I was in my "Jeantonio era", Jeantonio hyperfixation, if you were a CS fan in late 2022 most likely I was in your screen yapping about them and what not. Literally that was all my blog was good for, for that reason alone.
Yea, no more of that. I'm guessing the light switch turned off. I don't know what happened genuinely speaking they just aren't like..you can say I've gotten mature, when I look back at my posts I want to cry, bawl and curl up into a ball fetus position by the pure cringe of it. I don't know.
Not all only Jeantonio, it's just CS in general, sure I'm in a discord server (hi @tiredguyswag) about La Femme Rouge but I really just don't feel the same way about the show I used to. Blame it on personal life I guess.
now that I say that all I say on discord is how I stopped having a Jeantonio hyperfixation 🙃
Anyways,
Don't get me wrong I still love the,but I'll barely post about them. Yea, mind blower.
Next segment
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Bio thing
It's funny how I haven't made this before but that's that I guess,
- I go by Cassandra,
(@r41nb0wzzz DO NOT CALL ME OUT, I KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS.)
-Minor (don't hit on me 😒)
-She/Her
Hobbies: Drawing, Animations, Running,..does talking count?
.. I'll just skip to the fandoms part.
- Avatar:The Last Airbender
- Carmen SanDiego (kinda obvious)
- Any kind of children's show
-Mandela Catalogue
- MLP
- Undertale, but just barely
- Steven Universe
- Genshin Impact
-Spiderverse
I've forgotten now
Now, this shall come as a Total shocker for you guys but,
- Total Drama Island
see what I did there
next segment
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Everyone knows what a hyperfixation is,
A character(s) or show, or something you like so much you traumatize them or you draw them in class so much you have 3 full pages of that one character.
(Okay, funny thing is I've never drawn El Topo and Le Chèvre like, never in my life until like, January this year during Carmen week, crazy.)
Anyways, I'm pretty sure I was never one of those users that had a new hyperfixation like, by the day, "Jeantonio 4 life man"
Which is funny,
Okay I'll get on with it Rajbow (Raj and Bowie) is cool guys.
I love Rajbow so much man..
It's like ... it's like Terry McGurin watched Carmen SanDiego and then implemented Jeantonio onto Total Drama Island.
I will go on and on about them like..
Like look at them!!
Look.
Goofy Goobers times 2x man..
I didn't even mention Wayne man..Wayne!!!
I will put each of them in my pocket..each!
It's a brainrot.. man..
Will I be making remarks about my hating Bowie? No!
Le Chèvre got them because I hated him but now I don't because I forgot my reason,
or I just made him too fem queen in my head..
I love Bowie man..
And Raj..
And Wayne..
Platonic Raynebow 4 life man..
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I forgot the majority of the stuff I came here to say, so I'll just say what I remember, and leave you guys to forget this,
-I'm going to delete a lot of my old posts most likely this weekend, they were very cringe man, understand where I'm coming from...
-Thetalkwithaveaclock isn't coming back, it's getting killed off. But then again nobody cared or knew what it was,
- Posting won't be something you'll be getting in every 56 seconds, it's more like every 56 days or something..I either just don't want to come back to Tumblr or its school man..
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Yeah, that's pretty much it..I forgot a lot of what I was going to say to you guys, okay..uh..
Anyways,
Bye Bye..CS nation?.. I'm guessing the majority of this will be read by CS nation..
- cassandra
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Fic Writer 20 Questions
1.) How many works do you have on ao3?
20!
2.) What's your ao3 word count?
My word count is 224,994 words... which is insane now that I think about it
3.) What fandoms do you write for?
According to my AO3, I've written for Star Wars, Marble Hornets, Pirates of the Caribbean, Marvel, and DCTV. I've written a few for other fandoms, like RT and FNAF, but they aren't published. I've also written Jurassic Park and Breakfast Club AUs.
4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?
Binary Sunset-- Obi-Wan of the prequels era finds himself in the future, tagging along with The Mandalorian, Din Djarin. The first in a series, it has 823 kudos.
The Cassandra Problem-- Another time travel fic featuring Obi-Wan, but instead of the future Obi-Wan finds himself in the past, literally during the Battle of Theed. At 8 chapters updated, I currently have 11 more written and plenty more to go after that, and it currently sits at 624 kudos.
Is This The Start, Midpoint, or Finale?-- A modern mermaid au for Codywan that I started over 2 years ago. It's still being updated, but has taken a bit of a break for a while while I focused on other projects. It currently has 492 kudos :)
Come Alive-- I wrote this fic in 2017, when I was in my senior year of high school. The ending was rushed (I lost track of where I was going halfway through and fudged my way through the rest, only to remember the original, better, plotline only once it was complete) and I'm not super proud of it anymore, but I do appreciate it for what it was to me at the time. It has 252 kudos!
Duel of the Fates-- The second in the series after Binary Sunset. It's currently the last published in the series, as other projects have taken precedent, but I do plan to get back to it sooner or later. It has 203 kudos.
5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Sometimes. I usually mean to respond to all of them, but I never know what to say and so I push it off until I completely forget or feel like too much time has passed and get awkward about it.
6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably one of the fics in my Second Chance series, a Bad Batch series where I'm making everything better by making everything worse, first.
7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably When My Walls Start Burning Down, a Cody-centric post-war fic. There's still plenty of angst before the happy ending, but I'd definitely consider the ending a happy one!
8.) Do you get hate on fics?
Not that I can think of, but honestly if I did I probably deleted it and then promptly forgot it existed.
9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I have written smut before, Codywan, but it's not something I delve into a whole lot. Not a lot of experience in that department, being aroace and all.
10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I do! Of my published crossovers, my Agent Carter/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover series Skyfall is probably the craziest, but I frequently entertain myself daydreaming about wild crossover ideas.
Some, like Stranger Things/Star wars, aren't quite weird, but I've also had a grand time imagining what a Marble Hornets/Star Wars crossover would look like, and I've definitely thought of others that aren't coming to mind right now.
One of my favorite things to do used to be thinking about the weirdest crossover possible and trying to figure out how it would happen, Fallout Equestria style.
11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so.
12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I'd be honored if anyone ever wanted to do so.
13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
@tired-bshocked and I worked together on a fic series, Red Eye, for the 2023 Codywan Reverse Bang, if that counts. We each wrote our own fic in the series, but we of course worked together to make the fics mesh.
14.) What's your all time favorite ship?
See, this is hard because my 'favorite thing' is whatever I'm currently hyperfixating on. I'd say either Codywan or Jay Merrick/Tim Wright (Marble Hornets), because they're my two big fandoms at the moment.
15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hmm... my PotC fic, Perdition, only has a few chapters to go, but it's been a while since I updated and I think finishing it at this point will be a luck of the draw. It sucks, though, because I really enjoyed writing the fic and I'm always a sucker for PotC.
16.) What are your writing strengths?
I'm... not actually sure. I've been told a few times that I have a particular writing style, but it's mostly just the way I talk/think so I'm blaming it on the Neurodivergence. I think I'm pretty good with grammar and stuff? That said I still couldn't tell you what an adjective or adverb are (alas, I've never been good at mad libs for this reason) so who even knows at this point!
17.) What are your writing weaknesses?
I've never been able to understand the difference between active and passive voice. I also am apparently incapable of understanding Iambic Pentameter. All-around I have more to learn, but nothing sticks out to me as a particular 'yep focus on this'.
18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I may have done it once or twice, but I don't remember what I did? Honestly when reading I don't mind how it's done, though I do prefer a way to easily figure out what was said in the other language. Unless, of course, the point is not to know.
19.) First fandom you wrote for?
Honestly, Warriors over on Fanfiction.net. I definitely still have my account over there but I'm not sharing it at all because those fics are from when I was like 12.
Also, when I started writing fanfiction it was before I discovered fanfic was a thing, so I just. Thought I completely invented the concept for a while. I was thrilled when I realized fanfic existed.
20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?
Probably the Cassandra Problem! I recently realized the word count is higher than the entirety of the book Animal Farm, and I'm only about a quarter through it (and there may end up being more than one fic in the series by the end of it) and said realization fucked me up a bit. In a good way. Mostly. Also realized that since I'm updating it a chapter a month, the last chapter I wrote won't be published for another year at this rate.
But I'm having so much fun writing it! Time travel stories are so fun in every iteration to me-- what to change, what not to change, why change one thing and not another, how to react when you're back in your childhood bedroom or when you find out that a future version of you has done something so entirely out of character to you that you can only wonder what's happened...
There's so much potential, and I've had a lot of fun crafting the way that the time travel works in the fic :)
Not sure who's done this already, who's been tagged and who hasn't, but I'm gonna tag some people anyway @tired-bshocked, @twackycat, @sunflowersinheaven, @foreverchangingfandomsao3
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Library Book Sale Haul!
I feel bad because I forgot to do one for the last sale a few months ago, but I went twice this time and came home with some really great finds!
(tagging my book buddies @televinita and @simplyshelbs16xoxo )
1. ‘Pride & Prejudice’ and 2. ‘Northanger Abbey’ by Jane Austen
I read P&P years ago, but I’m a sucker for a Penguin edition (would be cool to get a full, matching set of all her books), and Northanger Abbey is one of the last Austen books I haven’t yet read, so I’m looking forward to that!
3. ‘Perfume: The Story of a Murderer’ by Patrick Süskind
Heard a lot about this one, and it sounds very creepy! Very excited to get into it.
4. ‘Beautiful Cigar Girl: Mary Rogers, Edgar Allan Poe, and the Invention of Murder’ by Daniel Stashower
This sounds like one of those fictionalized non-fiction books that tells a true story but reads like a novel, and any story involving Edgar Allan Poe and murder is an instant buy for me.
5. ‘The Teleportation Accident’ by Ned Beauman
Somewhat bizarre summary got me intrigued. It sounds like the kind of book that’s hard to explain, you just have to read it, so we’ll see how that goes.
6. ‘Bones of the Moon’ by Jonathan Carroll
Bought because of the cool cover and because I’d like to read more 80’s sci-fi, though I’m always wary when it comes to male authors of that era because the writing tends to be extremely misogynistic. Not sure if I should be more or less comforted by the fact that the main character in this one is a woman.
7. ‘Jane and the Wandering Eye’ by Stephanie Barron
From a series where Jane Austen solves murder mysteries, and how could that not immediately grab my attention?
and 8. ‘The Stargazer’s Sister’ by Carrie Brown
Bought 90% because of the beautiful cover and 10% because I vaguely remember adding it to my Goodreads to-read list ages ago. Sounds like an interesting period piece!
Not pictured: ‘Murder on the Titanic’ by Jim Walker because my mom (who has a sort of hyperfixation with the Titanic) immediately asked to read it lol.
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I posted 928 times in 2022
That's 583 more posts than 2021!
30 posts created (3%)
898 posts reblogged (97%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@reneewalkcrs
@overflowing-with-hyperfixations
@x-lulu
@thefandompixie
I tagged 729 of my posts in 2022
Only 21% of my posts had no tags
#encanto - 217 posts
#disney - 118 posts
#mirabel madrigal - 106 posts
#julieta madrigal - 100 posts
#pepa madrigal - 98 posts
#bruno madrigal - 96 posts
#camilo madrigal - 73 posts
#luisa madrigal - 71 posts
#isabela madrigal - 62 posts
#dolores madrigal - 61 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#and you can always tell when it's them trying to remove the competition in a woke way rather than because they actually care about lesbians
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I don’t remember where I saw this, so credits to whoever pointed it out first. But during the breakfast scene, the day after Antonio’s ceremony, Luisa brings everyone’s juice glasses for them, except Julieta. Julieta brings her own glass to the table because her daughter is carrying too much already and that’s her way of helping ease Luisa’s burden and that’s honestly the sweetest mom thing ever 🥺
154 notes - Posted February 20, 2022
#4
(I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS POST OF MINE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED A LONG LONG TIME AGO BUT I LEFT THIS IN THE DRAFT CAUSE I WAS A BIT MORE FOCUSED ON MY EDITS BUT I DON’T WANNA DELETE THIS DRAFT SO I’LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE!!! ALSO I WAS WAITING TO ADD MORE STUFF HAD I FOUND ANY BUT NOW THAT IT’S BEEN A MONTH SINCE THE HD RELEASE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE KNOWS THE DETAILS AND STUFF SO YEAH I’LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE 😩)
DAMN!!!! I’m making Encanto edits for my main blog (which are BLOWING UP btw, so thank you guys so so much 🥺❤️) and damn, I may have noticed a thing or two 😌
Also, please do not repost the below edits as yours. They are from my main blog @pxresoxl :)
We’re starting off with, like mother like daughter (Coz HOLY SHEESH this is so adorable I can’t 😫)
Baby Julieta with curly hair till her shoulder wearing a cute bow
You guys see that?
And here’s baby Mirabel
See the full post
166 notes - Posted January 27, 2022
#3
??? I guess???
311 notes - Posted March 21, 2022
#2
Ya’ll aren’t appreciating Señora Guzmán enough. She was just a genuinely kind woman who was extremely proud of her son. And, her son is a genuinely sweet, loving, caring guy with good morals? And it would make a lot of sense that she raised him that way? Idk man, they were (accidentally) humiliated by the Madrigals and they still came with the town folk to help them the Madrigals with their house as an act of gratitude for their years of service. Without any ill wishes. They’re good people. Hype them, ya’ll.
447 notes - Posted February 2, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Has nobody done this yet? I haven’t found one of these so I’m taking the liberty to do this…
1,155 notes - Posted January 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @shinyopals nearly half a year ago and promptly forgot about it oh my GOD, what is the passage of time, anyway I'm procrastinating on work and remembered it again so here we are
1. how many works do you have on Ao3?
ten
2. what’s your total Ao3 word count?
248,255
3. what fandoms do you write for?
Currently? Pathologic and probably soon Tian Guan Ci Fu/Heaven Official's Blessing. Mmmmmaybe Wushuang/Peerless, depending on how one plot bunny resolves itself in my brain. Previously? The Magnus Archives (which, who knows, I still have wips in the folder I might circle back 'round to one day), and in the olden days there was Code Geass and The Fandom That Must Not Be Named
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
this, alone (TMA, gen, M for graphic depictions of Martin finding his alt universe self wormed by Prentiss and burying him in the Lonely)
runaway scars (TMA, gen, M) These two belong to a series that I have...tbh not finished, but I think can still stand together even without the conclusion. It's about Martin dimension-hopping from the apocalypse into another world to warn the Archives gang, only to discover his Jon had locked him here and so takes the role of the recently-wormed Martin of this dimension while he figures things out. Featuring: a very Beholding Sasha James, and fun times with our good friend Gerry Keay.
another turn of the page (TMA, gen, T) - this one baffles me, considering I wrote it in an evening and threw it up on ao3 with minimal edits. It's built on an existing tma statement though so I guess there's that? AU wherein Jon is a mysterious recurring figure in statements.
genius loci (pathologic, burakhovsky, M) - Patho daemon au, my beloved!
salvage (pathologic, background burakhovsky, M) - Wherein Daniil Dankovsky is aware of the game's time mechanics and savescumming to try and get a good ending. May or may not be inspired by my own perfectionistic tendencies when playing this game.
5. do you respond to comments?
I try to! Some I miss, and if someone comments on every chapter in a binge (which I love! please keep doing this!) I might not respond to every single one, but I try my best to respond to them all, and be sure I read them all either way.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
So uh...hi, I'm jas and I'm an angst gremlin. It's...kind of my thing.
If I had to choose, I'd say there is no escape, my TMA with the trappings of Hades AU wherein Jon takes on powers from the various fears to try and escape the Archives, if only because...well, the title says it. But youth dipped in folly, my GerryOliver AU, might be a close contender. The number of pained, wailing comments I've seen on it delights me.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh maybe this, alone? If only because it ends on a hopeful "we're together and no one died this time! and maybe we'll beat the bad guy!" note.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully, no.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Nothing that I've shared publicly, no. Writing good smut is a skill I do not yet possess. Also I forget sex is a thing half the time so it genuinely often doesn't occur to me.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
OH BOY DO I.
I like to write crossovers where the characters from one media are in the world/plot/trappings of another, as opposed to the characters from two properties meeting, and pretty much whatever I read/play while in a hyperfixation will probably result in a crossover, at least in my brain.
Published, I only have a TMA Hades fic and TMA Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell fic, and of the two, the former is definitely weirder. In my drafts, I also have:
TMA Doctor Who AU (Gertrude regenerates into Jon while Tim and Martin are attempting to help the Archivist escape Elias' clutches)
Pathologic Dishonored AU (Artemy is gifted strange powers by the Outsider, who just looks like a capital dandy in a snakeskin coat, weird for a supposedly evil figure)
Pathologic Disco Elysium AU (ngl unlikely to finish this, because this is more a fun exercise than something that has a plot, for me, but the snakeskin coat instead of the ugly necktie is very fun)
Pathologic Fear & Hunger Termina AU (Artemy, Daniil, and the Utopians and Apple Basket Gang and Yulia arriving on the same train and forced into a battle royale. Fascinating and brutal. NEED to finish it one of these days)
Pathologic Thaumaturge AU (because I'm currently playing Thaumaturge and, look, they gave me a magical system that has implications on who a character is and fucks up everyone around them if misused and and expected me to not drag it into other fandoms? because good god Daniil needs the Audacity Flaw SO bad, SO BAD)
TGCF sort of Scum Villain AU (and I say sort of because it's more a transmigration au, but it takes many trappings and flavouings from SVSSS. There is also, technically, three of this, because I couldn't decide who should be the transmigrator between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng and promptly ended up with an AU where it's Xie Lian, an AU where it's Hua Cheng, and an AU where it's both of them. Save me from myself)
Wushuang/Peerless TGCF AU (because if anyone deserves to be a Ghost King it's Cui "Fuck you I'm not going" Buqu, and Feng Xiao NEEDS to be a martial god of the sort that beats up his followers if his statues aren't pretty enough)
Oh, and I guess daemon aus count as crossovers? Technically? Since they belong to the His Dark Materials universe. I tend to think of them as a separate fanfic trope at this point though, esp when I often disregard HDM worldbuilding entirely, but just in case: there's my Patho daemon AU and also a TGCF daemon AU in the works.
11. has any of your work been stolen?
Not fic, not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
If it has, do tell me! But nope, not that I know of.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not a completed one yet. There have been a few attempts with friends that fell through for various reasons of time, energy, spoons, losing interest in the fandom, etc, but it's always been a blast and I'd really love to do it again! I love co-writing and co-creating. I've spent many many years in forum roleplaying spaces and collaborative creation is a thing I actively miss. Writing's pretty solitary otherwise. Plus, it's fun to see your smart talented friends flex their smarts and talents and see how their brains work!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
I have to mirror shinyopals here and say, whatever my OTP is at the time. Burakhovsky from Pathologic certainly have me by the throat for the many myriad ways their relationship can go, from bitter rivals a la Changeling route to 'you're the only one who understands the depth of this trauma' as I tend to write. I also just love a narrative foil, god.
But there's also Hualian from TGCF! 800 years of devotion, holy shit! The sheer intensity of them!
And also the hilarity of FengCui from Wushuang/Peerless as a bitch4bitch, will never admit feelings on the pain of death pairing is hard to beat.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
-stares into the abyss that is my wip folder- How long you got?
I am, due to work writing and also just brain nonsense, an unfortunately very slow writer, made even more unfortunate by the fact I tend towards big ideas and adore turning points in a narrative and what ifs. Realistically this means that unless it's one of the first fics I do in a fandom, and unless a fic contains itself to less than 10k words, a wip is very unlikely to be finished.
I'm trying to get ahead of this by not posting most of my wips until they're closer to done but, considering how much I will edit and fix and tinker, I'm tempted to just yeet things sometimes and hope the Pressure will get some writing out of me. Or maybe I'll learn how to write short again! Who knows!
But, uh, short answer: all of them.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm pretty good at character, at keeping them in-character and in line with their canon selves. I'm also told I'm apparently good at humor and my writing voice can be funny, which is, I suppose, how people can tolerate the angsty angsty shit that comes with it.
I also tend towards pretty clean first drafts!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
d e s c r i p t o n s and, as a result, physical blocking!
I can't visualise very well? Usually characters exist in a formless void for me, so I have to figure out visual details by logicking it out or deciding what seems fitting for the scene. But things that require physicality, like fight scenes or sex scenes, god, just...hate them. Hate hate.
Also, first drafts. I may write clean, but it's a struggle every moment and often includes a lot of back-tracking as I'm writing or redoing altogether. This may or may not be why they're clean.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I don't tend to do it myself. Like it's fine if a writer does, but I see no need to include entire lines of dialogue in another language personally. If the PoV character understands it, then inserting something the reader might not, or needs a footnote to understand, breaks the flow, imo. If the point is that the PoV character can't understand it, that's fair, but I'd still almost always rather just say "the other characters carried on with a conversation PoV Character couldn't understand," or something even if the other language is one I speak and am confident in myself.
This only goes for full lines of dialogue, though, as opposed to things like titles or place names or concepts that would be awkward or weird to translate.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
The Fandom That Must Not Be Named. I was ten years old and just came off bingeing Prisoner of Azkaban. Thinking back on it, even that first fic had a tragic, angsty end lmfao
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Do not make me choose between my babies this way, how dare.
...that said, I'm really proud of salvage. It's one of those fics where I could feel myself levellng up a bit as I wrote, description-wise and just atmosphere-wise. Unsurprisingly, it's also a very difficult fic to write, which why updates have been so slow.
I'm also proud of how youth dipped in folly came out, considering I needed to gut it and rebuild it entirely in the second draft. I like the urban fantasy magical worldbuilding it has a lot, what with Gerry Keay essentially being an urban fantasy protagonist in the background of a horror podcast.
and as for favourite for sheer vibes, I think my unnamed unposted Hong-er never fell au that I'm currently working on is filling that role, because I fucking love writing in second person, it's so fun.
phew okay I think that's everything. tagging @kneesntoess and @smallhorizons (two in one day I know I'm sorry) and also @inkpot-demigod (yes this is revenge, I am not sorry), and whoever would like to give this a go!
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(in the last paragraph I briefly mention emotional abuse and some of the things it made me feel, but nothing graphic. just putting it here in case you don't want to see that at all.)
you know how a common aro/ace experience is feeling extremely alien and broken until you find out you're aro/ace and now you feel better about yourself since there are words to describe your experience? I had the opposite experience. I thought I was a perfectly normal, straight kid who just didn't want to date prematurely. I even thought I had a crush on more guys than I care to count and that I fall in love easily! and only when I realised that I'm more aro-ace than anything did I think that I'm broken as hell, specifically because I realised I'm aspec. I don't really feel that way anymore but it's interesting that I had an experience that (at least to me) feels extremely unpopular.
it's also interesting that as an older kid I basically viewed myself as hyperromantic, because now I look back at my experience with romance and crushes and such, armed with my older self's knowledge and honestly, in retrospect it's so obvious I was aro even as a kid.
1. I'm pretty sure I experienced alterous attraction at some point (kind of in between romantic and platonic attraction) because with most of my "crushes" we stayed friends (or even had no actual relationship of any kind develop) and as far as I remember I was not at all distressed by this. I was more distressed about witnessing them having good relationships with others, because I've been graciously spared from those many times. to this day I'm extremely jealous of naturally likeable people who effortlessly have multiple good relationships.
2. apparently you can hyperfixate on people as well. as someone who suspects they're auDHD it makes a lot of sense that my "crushes" were less about an actual desire to date and be intimate with someone, and more about "hey this cool new person just stepped into my life. they will now consume all my thoughts". of course a lot of my thoughts were vaguely romantic in nature, because, well, I was a straight girl and what else would you think about when it comes to a cute boy? (there's also something hilarious about looking back at myself from a decade ago and my tween self thinking they're a 100% heterosexual cis girl.)
3. I was also not particularly bothered by being rejected. a supposed crush rejected me back in the day and not only did I not feel sad, it's like I forgot I ever had a "crush" on him. it was basically just an "oh well" moment and I moved on with my day.
4. I did think a fair amount about doing different romantic things but I put absolutely no effort into getting to know people romantically or making those daydreams a reality. when I chose to get to know someone better, it wasn't ever with a clear romantic intent. my desire for romance was very passive (and sex as well, I either didn't imagine most of these people in a sexual light at all, or a friend who knew about my "crush" did the work for me, and only then did I think the same things. my object of romantic and sexual thoughts was often more of a hypothetical unknown someone than an actual person I knew).
5. I had extremely bogus criteria for what makes a random guy a crush. cute? crush. I befriend them and think of them a lot and feel like talking to them? undeniable romantic attraction. I think teen me was just extremely starved of positive attention (most people wouldn't even notice me usually, and my tween/early teen years were the starting point for most of the abuse i went through) and possibly realised early on that as a girl, the only way you should be feeling towards guys was the romantic way. I am not immune to amatonormativity. anyway, in retrospect I did internalise a lot of things without ever thinking my experiences aren't normal or healthy. just like the way I thought your body's responses to emotional abuse (like intense self-hatred, inexplicable guilt, passive suicidal ideation) are a completely normal part of the human experience (because why would your mother, who loves you, wants the best for you, and provides you every material good you could imagine, also abuse you), I thought hypothetically wanting romance but refusing to put in the effort to make it happen was also perfectly normal and how most people operate. I had no reason to think of these things differently until life cruelly opened my eyes to the fact that I'm functionally extremely different from the norm.
6. since I'm probably neurodivergent and my natural state of being is extremely awkward, weird and not too likeable, all these "crushes" could've also been just an elaborate, subconscious attempt to fit in with the rest. just because I regarded my own lived experience as normal, doesn't mean I haven't been unknowingly fed information on what I should be instead of my true self.
tl;dr: as a kid I thought I was a completely normal person until life told me that I'm just about the furthest thing away from "normal", for multiple reasons.
#the alien's original thoughts™#arospec#aromantic#the alien's aromantic experience™#I wonder if anyone can relate to my experiences
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We Interrupt This Hiatus To Bring You: Sea Rose!
((Oh my God. Right. This blog. Would you hate me if I said I almost completely forgot about this blog? Oops...))
((Life...has Not settled the way I was trying to get it to. My moving plans became far more complicated with far too many extra steps, and it kind of killed my creativity. I’m getting it back, just...not for Beyblade.))
((For a general update: I’ve been trapped in a Bakugan [original series] mindset for Several Months with no end in sight. It’s gotten my brain rolling again, which is really nice, but it’s also the Biggest hyperfixation I’ve ever had in my life. Like. All-consuming. Does anyone know how to get that to chill?? Not joking.))
((There’s one MFB thing I’ve put together recently, and it’s even Madoka! Just... A very different Madoka than the one I’ve got here.))
((Please let me introduce the Sea Rose AU! A crossover project with Yu-Gi-Oh! GX that a friend of mine and I started almost two years ago. Months later, I started writing a private fic of it as a surprise present for it. Now, I’ve edited the first chapter of that fic and actually posted it!))
((”Learning who you are is a journey for everyone. Especially when you find yourself learning things you'd wished you didn't.
With three dads and too many extended relatives to count, "Sea Rose" Madoka has always had all the family she ever felt she needed. Being surrounded by the greatest duelists for as long as she could remember made her path for the future seem clear.
But nothing is ever as easy as it seems. Thankfully, her new blader friends are there to support her every step of the way.”))
((I’m really excited to do something with this girl again. I hope to continue editing this fic and building its lore up so I can put more chapters out soon! ...I have to sort my notes first, though. Heh.))
((I also hope to come back to this blog soon. I need to do a lot of thinking about how I want to do that. Figure out if the way I’ve been doing it is what’s best, or if it needs improvement or changing completely. Maybe the personal projects I’m working on now will help me figure that out.))
((Well... That’s all I’ve got. A lot later than I intended to return with an update, but at least I’m here. And I hope I’ll have news actually about the blog next time I pop in.))
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Fic Writer Questions!
@oddsocksandstuff tagged me in this, thank you so much, sweetie! ❤️
1) How many works do you have on AO3? I’ve got 40 so far (of which 25 are SPN fics). There’s more to come!
2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 486,667, apparently. That tells me each of my fics has an average wordcount of 12,166.675… Seems about right. I was never any good at keeping things short.
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Uhh… On AO3 I’ve written for Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, X-men (Cherik) and McFassy (James McAvoy/Michael Fassbender). But I’ve written a lot when I was younger that has never made it online, including NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean, and lots of weird one-shorts starring everyone from Michael J. Fox to Kevin Sorbo from “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”. 🤨
4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “A Lesson to be Taught” – an SPN Wincest pwp fic where a dominant Dean fucks (and spanks) Sam and they discover that Dean apparently has a daddy!kink. Comes with a photo manipulation too! There be dick.
“Taking Game” – a semi-dark medieval Cherik (Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr from X-men) AU. Basically, Charles is a poacher hunting on king Erik’s land to his great dismay. And so, he’s captured and gets the choice between losing his life or serving the king for a bit… Dubcon and smut ensues. “Only Like This” – a little SPN Wincest dub-con fic about hopelessly pining Dean doping Sam just so he can touch and kiss his oblivious little brother. It’s okay. Sam won’t remember when he comes to. “It’s Only Carnal” – A dark SPN Wincest noncon fic where soulless!Sam needs to blow off some steam. And when it comes to carnal activities his brother isn’t exactly a novice – so why not use Dean’s body to make them both feel good? “Demonized” – a long and dark af SPN noncon fic written in collaboration with the awesome @palishere. Sam is captured by some nasty demons who use him to lure in his brother. At first it seems the demonic scumbags are just really perverted and have a weakness for sexual torture, but they turn out to have ulterior motives…
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes, always. I think it can be a bit demotivating for a reader to leave a comment and get zero response – and so, they might not bother to comment on the next fic. At least, that’s how I feel personally. And besides, I really want to let readers know that I appreciate them taking the time and effort to actually tell me what they think.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oufff… Seriously? How can I possibly pick just one when 99.8 percent of my fics are not only dark af but have gut-wrenching ambiguous endings as well? I, err… I’m gonna have to think really hard about this one, hold on… *Insert buzzing cicada sound*… Uhh… Well, I guess it might be… “Play or Pay” – a dark female!reader-insert Wincest fic where demon!Dean has you and Sam trapped somewhere underground. Sam ends up being on the receiving end of the demon’s cruelty when he tries to save you. Using Dean’s body the demon ends up raping Sam while the reader tries to escape to get help... There’s a little twist in the end. Loads of dead dove here, including death (not Dean or Sam). “The Orange Hour” – where undercover inmate!Dean has to rape CO!Sam in order to save both of their lives and get them out of the jail in one piece. It doesn’t go completely as planned. (Comes with an nsfw photo manipulation). “Demonized” – loads of bottom!Sam torture, full of hurt and absolutely no comfort... It’s just… I dunno, I think I and @palishere had a collective meltdown in the noncon and angst department. Sorrynotsorry.
8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, I’ve never in my life written a crossover. Usually, I’m too laser-focused on 1 obsession at a time. I can’t multitask, okay?
9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, the fandom purity police has visited me on AO3. The usual self-proclaimed know-it-alls vomiting their bullshit all over the comment section about how “problematic” noncon is and how “sick” I must be. I thought about moderating comments for a while, actually – but I just deleted their follow-up comments until they left me alone. 😤
10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes!! Gimme! Usually, I write noncon smut or just good ol’ pwps that feature some sort of dominance. That’s it. That’s my jam. In general, the only smut I don’t write is the cute, fluffy, feel-good, cuddly stuff… My smut’s usually pretty rough and/or some sort of dub/noncon.
11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone stole “It’s Only Carnal” and posted it as her own on some Portuguese fanfiction site. She even replied to comments, answered questions and talked about how much she loved writing it, etc… Luckily a sweet mutual on Tumblr let me know about it and I reported her for plagiarism. The stolen fic was taken down shortly after and the account deleted. Goddamn thief. 😡
12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Honestly, I can’t remember which fic(s). But people have contacted me on AO3 and asked for permission to translate my stuff into Chinese. I have - of course - happily allowed them to. It’s such an awesome compliment to get, I think!
13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, 2. “Demonized” and the fluffy Ficfacers prompt fic “The Masks We Wear” starring Sam and Dean taking their pranks a step too far. Basically, the brothers get angry with each other and they need to talk it out… No smut in this one, can you believe it?!! But that was kinda the prompt we received. The prompt was literally: “Sam and fluff”. Anyways, both fics are co-written with the lovely @palishere. You can find her AO3 here. 😊
14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Wincest!!! Definitely. Gimme all the brotherfucking, please. No contest. And coming in on second place I guess there’s Samifer – never paired consensually, though. I just love Lucifer messing with Sam’s head and torturing him in all kinds of cruel ways.
15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh, that’s a mean question… I have a noncon WIP where Sam and Dean are in prison. I wrote a whole story outline, gathered my own little dictionary of prison slang, etc… But I never made it past page 10 or something. Sam was supposed to get jumped by a gang of inmates and then Dean was supposed to helplessly watch from the sideline, offering to trade places if they’d just leave his little brother alone… And after that it’s all about a mix of healing and vengeance… But the story has been lying on the shelf for more than a year and I doubt I’ll ever continue it. Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I have a long Cherik WIP sequel to “To Have and to Hold”! Just checked, its wordcount is 18,729! Holy crap…. What a waste, huh? But I honestly don’t think I’ll ever finish it, because I’m not into Cherik anymore. That ship has kinda sunk for me…. So, now I’m hyperfixating on Supernatural, yeah?
16) What are your writing strengths? Description, I think. I just love details and setting the mood. I like to think I’m pretty good at writing in English too even though it isn’t my native language… I wish to be better and expand my vocabulary but I’m doing okay nonetheless.
17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, I think. Yes, you read correctly. I often describe things TOO much. Sometimes to the extent where the pacing gets so slowed down that I feel like the scene loses its ‘feel’. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but that’s my major concern about my writing. That and my signature ambiguous endings, lol.
18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Love it. It can be difficult to pull off, but if you get it right it can be magical. Just don’t overdo it and make sure that the reader can follow. I don’t think I have any fics online where I do it, but I’m not a complete stranger to it either.
19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Ack, my poor brain trying to go back to when I was friggin’ 13… You know how many years ago that was?! 25!!! Okay!? *Huffs*…. Anyway, I THINK it might’ve been Keanu Reeves’ character in “Johnny Mnemonic”. Or maybe David James Elliott’s character as Harmon Rabb in the early seasons of “JAG”. I dunno. Either way this question makes me feel really old and I don’t appreciate it. Don’t @ me. 😅
20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s probably a tie between “The Orange Hour” and “It’s Only Carnal”. They’ve both got nice pacing and that’s my biggest challenge, I think. Also, I love the whole Morse code thing in “The Orange Hour”. I don’t even know what happened or how I came up with it, but hey, I can surprise myself if I want to, I guess! And of course there’s the smutty noncon and all of the hurt… So, those two fics are my personal faves. 😏
I’ll tag @jackandthesoulmates, @pinkoptics, @palishere, @wrenseroticlibrary, @decadent-prince, @negans-lucille-tblr, @juinae and @impala-dreamer and everyone else who feels like doing it! Feel free to ignore, of course.
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Bro wait, can you go into more detail about what ben was like? Like what was the situation and how did he act and stuff? Also how tall are you, and how tall was he in comparison? Sorry to be absolutely nuts but I am... going through a hyperfixation 😅
Welp, I kinda forgot about this ask, sorry !
I made a post about this, here I don't know if you've read it. It was pretty thorough and I don't know if I have much more to add that I didn't originally write in that post tbh, but I'll try :)
Edit: turned out I had things to say, so I'm putting this under a read more, because it got long 😅
Prior to this meeting, I had zero experiences with conventions and meeting celebrities, I signed up for this one because Ben was added last minute and I didn't live very far. I wasn't prepared at all! I remember, I arrived a bit late (because trains and stuff), and when I got there, the opening ceremony was about to end so I stayed close to the door and didn't take a seat, and then boom they came out in the hallway and he was right there !! I think, it's the moment I realized that I was gonna meet him for real yk? I was pretty nervous tbh but ....
He was an absolute sweetheart! I think I've said it several times, but there's no better way to describe him imo. I went there on my own, but quickly formed a little group with other girls who were there for him as well and we all were unanimous about this: he's an angel.
So genuine and kind. Listening patiently to what we had to say, joking with us, giving hugs when asked,... his attention was really on the person in front of him! And it didn't feel fake yk, he seemed happy to meet his fans. Plus, we pretty much all had different interests when it came to his work, so he wasn't stuck talking about the same things: I was really into the Punisher, but others knew and loved him for Narnia, and of course, it had just been announced that he was gonna be in Shadow&Bone !
I remember very well waiting in line till it was my turn. The autographs sessions happened in a very big room and the other actors present for the con were all lined up against these huge windows. He was on the far right of the room, and the walls on that corner were weirdly shaped; meaning that for most of the line, you don't actually see him. And then, when you get to maybe 5 people before you, you turn a corner and THERE HE IS, less than 2 meters in front of you. It was so weird, I think my eyes went very wide for a moment lol But it's also nice because you can hear (a bit) what he says with the other people, these moments include a lot of staring lol and also frantically searching what the hell I was gonna say to him 😂
Right before my time, one person from the staff gave him some books, it was the S&B books in french, and he took the time to look at them, opened one of them and started to read out loud ^^ or well tried to, because while he spoke a bit of french, I think it was a bit difficult for him lol And then he put the books down, turned his head towards me, and it was my turn A.SJSKFSJKFSLFLS Not gonna talk about this much because I can barely remember what I said, and it went so fast! Not that we were rushed or anything, some people talked with him for a really long time actually, but it always seems fast when it's you, right?
He was obviously really gorgeous ❤️ But I may be biased because I believe he's one of the most beautiful man out there lol When you get very close to him for the autographs sessions, it's woooowwwwww~~ I mean, there's only a small table separating us, and he's leaning in and I'm also leaning because it was a big room with lots of people, so very noisy yk? And then you can really admire his beautiful face ROFL He really is charming, and there's something about his voice, it's really smooth and he's quite soft spoken, it's pretty captivating (but that, we all already know)
For the height question, I'm quite small! Barely 1,60m and on the pic I took with him, he's a good head taller than me! and I had heels! He gives really good hugs and really didn't mind making different poses. On the contrary, he wanted to do different things, he said something about it at one point. In my case, I wanted a hug and nothing else (sorry to disappoint, Ben!), even if it's quite classic and maybe a bit boring for those who are used to attend conventions, it was (and still is I guess) a once in a lifetime occasion for me and what's better than a hug with a person you really love to immortalize meeting them?
Talking about this also made me remember that a person who was able to attend a meeting with him recorded the whole thing and later contacted me and sent it to me !! I don't know if I can repost it though :/
If you have more questions, you can always ask me, but like I said, it was almost 2 years ago, and it's getting pretty difficult to remember all the details. Plus, you're kinda in a daze during the whole thing 😂
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Just some fic recs (part 2)...
It’s been a while since I’ve made a rec list and that seemed tragic to me as I’ve spent most of my quarantine surviving off fic. So here we go! The popular fics are hidden away for today and there is more Wangxian on here than I’d care to admit, but I Hyperfixated. Still, the ships are numerous and various.
Promises We Make -- Mayarene Rose; Wangxian Lan Zhan has taken to visiting the Yiling as often as he can, bringing as many rabbits as he can carry. It is not against the sect rules so there's no reason for him to feel guilty about it. And after all, he made a promise. Or the one where Lan Zhan sneakily moves into the Burial Mounds and this may or may not have helped stop a lot of bad things from happening. **If you’re feeling sad, this is the fic for you. It can take any bad day and make it better. Lan Zhan brings every goddamn rabbit in Cloud Recesses to the Burial Mounds a few rabbits at a time just as an excuse to visit Wei Ying. Then he kind of just stays? And everyone loves him? And Wei Ying is an absolute dumbass about the whole thing? Which tracks.
Screw Poetry, It’s You I Want -- intertwiningsouls; Pynch Adam tries to navigate a crush on his best friend, his first time having a group of friends during the holidays, and the mysterious notes that keep showing up in his locker. **Fair warning this fic is not finished and on hiatus, but I still think it is absolutely worth reading anyway. I reread it often and then get sad it’s not updated, but, you know, fic writer’s lives are hard. I know this deeply. Anyway, it’s soft, it’s cute, and Ronan is perfect.
apastron -- kissmesexybatman; Shatt "This was the mission: three people were set to travel half a year out to the edge of the solar system, traversing space no human eyes had ever seen, to explore the possibility of life in the most extreme of conditions." The first six months of the Kerberos Mission. **This fic is quiet and meditative and a little lonely, but it is so, so beautiful. I loved it the first time I read it and I love it now. There’s some very good ace representation and love just pours from this fic. Love for people and love for space.
How Fragile We Are, Between the Few Good Moments -- nineandthreequarterrs; Wolfstar By the time it’s dark, there’s a fire crackling before them. The tent is set up. There are two chairs propped up by the fire. They have cooked and eaten dinner, and they are sitting in silence. It reminds Sirius of the dinners at home after he got sorted into Gryffindor, or after his mother found the letters from his friends, or lately, whenever he dares to show his face around the house at all. What lives in that space isn’t actually silence. Silence is absence. This thing that hangs between him and his mother, now between him and Remus, is the presence of something suffocating and cutting. It doesn’t serve as a placeholder for noise, it serves as a punishment. It cleaves him to the bone, flays him until he wants to cry. The soft, knotting feeling in his chest he feels when he wants to let tears out but can’t is rising in him. Sirius doesn’t know how to kill except to hiss, “Well if you’re mad at me just fucking say so.” **This takes the moment where Sirius lures Snape to the Shrieking Shack and nearly gets him killed by Remus in his werewolf form-a scene that should be utilized like this more frequently-and creates something absolutely lovely with it. The fic is quiet and subtle and deals with the abuse Sirius suffers and Remus’ rightful anger in a delicate and true way. I adore it.
Likewise Variable -- ssstrychnine; Wolfstar James has plans, Peter is the nurse, Sirius keeps fake blood up his sleeves, and Remus just tries to stay alive. **One of those classic Marauders fics where everyone is batshit crazy except Remus, who ends up doing batshit crazy things because he loves his friends. And Sirius. Especially Sirius. He ends up playing Romeo and Sirius plays Juliet and the pining and angst is unreal. A trope I’m trash for and very well executed.
flowers boldly blossoming over withered grass -- LilyMaxwell; Wangxian It’s in the dawning years after Jin Guangyao’s death that Wei Wuxian learns what it’s like to live and love without a second thought. **The first fic I found in my endless search through pages and pages on ao3 where I saw a characterization of Lan Zhan that resonated with me in the same way he did in the show. I have a thing for soft and quiet fics and this one is no exception. Lovely and beautifully written.
Like Knives -- All_My_Characters_Are_Dead; Bakushima Bakugou was disappointed in him. Bakugou thought he was weak, thought he was useless. Bakugou knew he’d broken, and Bakugou was mad at him for it. **I love this fic a lot. It takes Bakugou’s anger and uses it to full angst advantage. Kirishima overhears Bakugou and misinterprets Bakugou’s intense worry for anger. And then emotions happen.
Garden War -- Cibee; Drarry Harry and Draco are quarantined in their houses, a lake across from one another. What better ways to spend this time than to annoy each other with letters and attempts to prove that their garden is better? **I did my best to avoid quarantine fics, but you know, easier said than done. This one is super cute. Mostly epistolary, Harry and Draco just make fun of each other and garden and then get together. Like, what the hell else do you want?
light fires at night (to push back the void) -- inthesea; Andreil The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew. (Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.) **One of the two truly popular fics that shows up on here. This fic changed my life. It killed me and then brought me back to life. It’s essentially a series of vignettes starring Andrew and Neil and like...it hurts and it heals and it loves. I would die for this fic to continue existing even when I don’t.
the hidden source is the watchful heart -- sombregods; Wangxian Wei Wuxian comes back to the Cloud Recesses for the winter months. He and Lan Wangji learn that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are not (yet) quite synonymous.They have time to figure it out. **I have the biggest soft spot for relationships where sex and romance aren’t intrinsically intertwined and take some time to navigate. And in my mind, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have exactly that kind of relationship, so this fic was all I ever needed. If that’s your thing, this is a must read.
A Heart’s a Heavy Burden -- idratherhaveyou; Wangxian There was fire and magic and death, screams and blood, but rage was Wei Ying's song at night, the beast he became taking control, protecting what it could and destroying those that did harm.Years ago, when Wei Ying had newly discovered this particular power of his, when he’d picked his side—to simply fight everyone who didn’t fight for those weaker than themselves—he’d remembered more.To him, this was better. Better to forget things best forgot. **A Howl’s Moving Castle AU **A shameless self-promotion, but I love this fic to pieces, so I thought it seemed fit to add. Not quite finished, but I promise it will be. I just take two of my favorite pieces of media and have a real good time. There’s magic, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying love each other a lot, and A-Yuan does god’s work.
Siren Song -- Becky_J_1022 When Damen is cursed by a Siren in exchange for the revenge his heart desperately desires, his life is thrown into chaos, and betrayal lurks around every corner. Despite his better judgment, he allows a beautiful young man to seek berth on his ship, not knowing that he has granted refuge to the one man who has every reason to want him dead. Laurent may be the key to breaking Damen's curse, and Damen could help restore Laurent to his throne—but if they have any hope of helping each other, they will have to untangle their bitter pasts first. **Listen, man, this fic is balls to the walls fun and also everyone should read Becky’s fics. Not enough people do. She makes sentences beautiful. Just so beautiful. And she loves to and you can tell.
#fic recs#the untamed#wangxian#andreil#tfc#wolfstar#drarry#harry potter#bnha#bakushima#trc#pynch#voltron#shatt#writers are wonderful creatures#i love and cherish you all#thanks for you work
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about me tag game thing
i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3
under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around
why did you choose your url?
this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.
i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.
oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.
anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.
one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.
any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them
in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:
emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier
dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.
horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.
mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.
how long have you been on tumblr?
i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.
do you have a queue tag?
no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended
why did you start your blog in the first place?
my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!
why did you choose your header?
in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.
what’s your post with the most notes?
i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.
how many followers do you have?
on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.
how many people do you follow?
i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.
have you made a shitpost?
let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?
that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful
do you like tag games?
yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward
do you like ask games?
i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing
do you have a crush on a mutual?
in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.
i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:
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Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons
a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself
PUBLISHED : 2 - 17 - 20
S F W :
- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away
- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain
- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth
- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult
- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed
- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying
- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation
- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are
- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing
- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean
- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason
- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again
- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is
- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself
- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory
- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”
- “Phillipe?”
- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”
- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”
- “I did?”
- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt
- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely
- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone
- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him
- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous
- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else
- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”
- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication
- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things
- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially
- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?
- miscellaneous headcanons;
gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later
likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever
kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding
is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end
doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure
oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect
gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater
is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks
super strong
likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some
- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that
#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes headcanon#bucky barnes headcanons#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes imagines#the winter soldier#the winter soldier imagines#the winter soldier imagine#the winter soldier headcanon#the winter soldier headcanons#Marvel Comics#mcu#mcu headcanon#mcu headcanons#mcu imagine#mcu imagines#marvel heroes#marvel hero#antihero#marvel villains#marvel villain
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Okay so we all know who your top ships are... who are your unpopular ships? Or obscure ships? What characters from what series do you think about often in either good or bad ways? Who is a character that you hate that others love? If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?
Ok I am digging through my brain right now bc if I’m not able to hyperfixate on something then I tend to forget I even liked it. Ok buckle in bc this is gonna be long af. YOU ASKED FOR THIS, REG.
I’m putting a readmore so as not to torture my followers lol
Thinking about Veronica Mars. About Veronica/Logan. Do they have a ship name?? But I love that show and i was THERE for them. They were kind of a surprise ship for me, in that when they got together I was like, wait, WHAT? Like I was totally caught off guard. But there first kiss is, like, sooo romantic to me haha. It’s my fave scene in the show. But Logan is suck a prick sometimes. And they break up like every five minutes. And every season Logan gets accused of murder which of course he ends up not being the murderer. And they get back together eventually and I’m like really? But deep down I am rooting for them lol. I really enjoyed the new season of Veronica Mars that came out last year, actually. The ending made me SO SAD THO.
I also used to watch Supergirl and I thought Kara and Mon-El were adorable. He was very Carswell Thorne-esque, RH, I *think* you would like him. I never watched past season 3(?) though, and he shoots off into space and I never caught up so a few months ago I actually googled what happens and [spoiler] he ends up marrying someone else in the future or something so I was like, ok I’m not investing any more time in this show lol. (Also I had to google Mon-El’s name just now bc i forgot which is a bad look BUT I WAS REALLY RIDE OR DIE FOR THEM FOR A WHILE lol). Also I loved Martian Manhunter in this show, he was my favorite character. But the CGI for him was awful, omg. He had practical makeup at first, they should have just stuck with that.
Speaking of Martian Manhunter, I also used to watch Young Justice and loved Miss Martian/Superboy. Am I basic??? lol oop. But I love basic love stories. Anyway, I thought they were super cute. In season 3 though they’re kind of on the rocks. I haven’t watched season 4. I also loved Artemis/Wally West, but of course that had to end tragically.
Also, let’s talk about Nightcrawler. Allow me to set the scene. Little Kat is 13 and just rediscovered the cartoon she saw a few times as a kid called X-Men: Evolution. And thus, a weird obsession with the German, blue demon boy began. I loved Kurt Wagner. In the cartoon he starts a relationship with Amanda Sefton and I thought they were a-dor-a-ble. She accepted him for who he was, and they had a really nice healthy relationship. A lot of ppl shipped him with Kitty too which i am honestly all for idec I JUST WANT THE BLUE BOI TO BE HAPPY.
Can we talk about A:TLA too??? Like, obviously Zutara, amiright? Power couple. Like, Kataang is.. fine, but its probably my least favorite part about the ending, haha. Also, consider: Tokka. Toph is bae and can get anyone she wants, and she clearly had kind of a crush on Sokka and I think they could have been awesome. It actually kills me that they never say who Lin and Suyin’s father is in LoK. I had a whole theory that it was that kid The Duke from Jet’s band based on like 2 scenes from the series. There’s a tumblr post I made about it somewhere in the ether lol.
I also just remembered Tahnorra (Tahno/Korra) from Legend of Korra. It’s hard for me to explain this one. It’s a weird combination of being hyperfixated on the first season of the show when it came out, and I think I stumbled upon some fic or something???? And I thought Tahno was hot or something??? And FUN FACT, he was voice by Rami Malek BEFORE HE WAS COOL. So like before Rami really got big I knew who he was. He also basically played the Avatar in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and I thought that connection was hilarious. It was kind of a problematic crack pairing but there was one author in particular whom i follow to this day hoping she’ll update her Tahnorra fics…. *sigh*
Okay one last ship…. I used to be ride or die for Outlaw Queen in Once Upon a Time (aka Regina/Robin Hood). Like, before TLC, I had a personal tumblr renaissance for that ship alone. My only existing published fanfic is for that ship. Taylor Swift’s 1989 came out that year and I related every dang song to that ship. I loved Regina so much and I just wanted her to be happy. That show is a dumpster fire, though, and spat all over my hopes and dreams. *sigh*
Also, lightning round for obscure pairings I ship and/or never talk about:
Frank Castle/Karen Page (The Punisher) ok this one isnt that obscure but I never talk about it… but the pining, oh god the pining
Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (GoT) THEIR 5 SECONDS TOGETHER ARE THE ONLY WORTHY PART OF SEASON 8. everything after that never happened
I already listed Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (FMAB) as a top pairing previously but I feel the need to mention it again bc it was for real my OG OTP… LIKE U WANNA TALK ABOUT PINING…. *sobs*
Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) This used to be my fave book series and i loved how their relationship developed over the course of the books
Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) ok can we TALK ABOUT THIS??? They were both badass misfits and they were perfect for each other. But noooo JKR has to announce they marry some nobodies…. this is the only change the last movie did right
Midna/Link (Zelda: Twilight Princess) I honestly have no explanation for this lol
Qui-gon Jinn and Shmi (Star Wars) CAN U IMAGINE if anakin had a proper father figure and didnt have to abandon his mother to slavery
Obi-wan/Satine…. (Star Wars: The clone Wars) we know whats up
OK, to answer some of your other questions: character I hate that others love. HMMMM…….
This one seems too easy/obvious but Professor Snape? Like obviously there’s already a ton of discourse surrounding this but he was gross, mistreated his students for years, committed atrocities, couldn’t get over his high school crush, and we’re supposed to believe he’s a hero in the end and HARRY WOULD NAME HIS SON AFTER HIM….. uh no. “Always” is gross.
I’ve literally been wracking my brain for days and I can’t think of any more characters for this. OK I did some googling and I remembered some LOL.
Ross from friends…. I literally can’t stand him. He’s so entitled and just the worst. He tries to act like he’s the nice, sensitive guy, but really he is so full of himself. Joey on the other hand is portrayed as a womanizer but is actually super sweet and I love him
Archie from Riverdale… I have only seen the first 1.5 seasons ish but he is the worst…. we’re supposed to believe he’s some easygoing musically gifted football player but instead he manages to pull off being bland as heck and actually kind of a terrible garbage person
Nick from chilling adventures of Sabrina. I hate characters that are like hitting on the main character even though she has a bf and are like dark and broody and sexy blah blah blah…. I liked Harvey way better. I never finished season 2 tho
Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time? Idk she was fine she just got old after a while
If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?
HM. First, Harry would name his son Remus Rebeus Potter LOL. Ok but real talk there was a headcanon floating around forever ago that Harry should have become a professor at Hogwarts instead of an auror and I am 100% on board
Ok, ok….. what abouuuttt…… OK, is star wars when Han and Leia get together. I like them as a couple, but the entire first half of the movie Han is being such an ass. And when they kiss the first time, he’s being SOOO creepy. It’s like so quintessentially 80s romance. and HERE’S THE THING. They actually filmed (or maybe just wrote?) a version of that scene that WASNT CREEPY. And i’m like WHY DIDNT YOU USE THAT?!? So I like to pretend that’s the version that actually happened.
This part is way harder than the shipping portion. If I think of anything else i’l dm you. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS NOVEL LENGTH POST OF ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY FIXATIONS OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS. If anyone actually read this far, you deserve a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket
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