#i hurt my back again this weekend | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goodobservationshirley · 1 year ago

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Sans Rendez-Vous (2021-)

#sans rendez-vous #sansrendezvousedit #i hurt my back again this weekend #not gonna blame my old age this time it was 100% my fault #still wasn't as bad as last time #just have to take it easy for a little while #so i took the opportunity to watch the first two seasons of Sans Rendez-Vous #and it was delightful i had a great time #someone on youtube (@sapphiccinema) is starting to post english subtitles #if some of you guys want to check it out

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bondagebimbo · 1 month ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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sainz100 · 2 months ago

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2024 Singapore GP | x

#hi everyone I'm sorry I vanished for a few days #this weekend has been hard here with irl family things and in my heart in the world of F1 #I feel so so so so much for Daniel and I keep riding a roller coaster of anger that RBR let this happen and sorrow if this is it #then I swing back to hope #not just in 2025 (which I still believe in!!)#but that he can find joy and fufillment and love somewhere better #he deserves so much better than the callously cruel weekend from a sport he's given so much of his life to #I'll be a Daniel fan no matter where he goes next #but my trust in RBR is irrevocably shattered as it is for many (not that I had much to begin with!)#but he was thrown to the wolves and I'm just so angry and heartbroken this happened #but then the possible last lap of his potential last race given to Max #thank you Daniel #and I'm hopeful til the end #I hope he gets what he wants but he deserves so much love #and seeing the love from fans and the people in his life who DO care #I'm a newer fan but I have become so fond for Daniel so much and the anticipation is killing me #let him and fans have peace (even if the goal is Checo retiring after the Mexico GP then at least give some closure for the month between)#just a hard weekend #and the FIA absurdity with Max too ugh #and Carlos' crash in quali ahhh just an awful weekend #with that and an overwhelming family weekend I just couldn't bring myself to post anything #but thank you everyone for this space #I need to catch up but I have seen so many folks echo how I feel #it is upsetting and needless and uncerimonious and cruel #I'll be hopeful forever there is a chance #but Daniel deserves to be happy and RBR proved how heartless of a place they can be #I'll savor the silver linings of Max and Daniel's bond and those on the team who lifted him up #I'll be away again for a work event today but I looked around insta a bit last night #I'll post and tag for the GP if anyone wants to not see it!! still hurts but it'll all be okay in time I know it ❤️#autumn posts

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genekies · 5 months ago

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tag vent

#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas #and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when #we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates #just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night #ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me #ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but #she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening #he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by #people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again #i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends #and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer #than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they #helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that #they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient #im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk #tag vent #vent in tags

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palms-upturned · 4 months ago

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#meg talks #just venting #im in so much pain it’s not even funny #im sorry for being inactive for so long i really was not anticipating this #the good news is ive made a lot of progress on compiling the spreadsheet for vetted gaza funds #so that once ive cleared out the dms i can add additional mods and get the ball rolling properly again #the bad news is that my insomnia is back and my pain is getting so bad i can barely get out of bed or eat #i don’t think it’s related to the fundraising work so much as… everything else -_-#i didn’t want to be out of a job for this long #and having to send so many applications and make so many fucking unhelpful phone calls a day to doctors and help centers…#idk. this isn’t me complaining abt the fundraiser work if anything it’s the only rewarding thing im doing rn #but im frustrated w myself and with my body and with. everything #it’s not just my own family relying on me anymore #and that makes it hard to deal with all this. like i could be using my time and energy way better than this.#but instead im playing phone tag to try and prove that im disabled and need to feed my brothers.#im just cjdhxgxjcncj sigh. whatever if i can just get over this hump then the rest will be downhill #and my friend is going to help me w cooking this weekend so that me and my bros can eat better #so hopefully that will give me a boost too #idr where i was going w this. probably nowhere jdgdjdnxnc im just miserable rn bc i can’t sleep and my leg hurts

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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yagami should get his back snapped in half like a toothpick if he wanna fuckin sleep on couches exclusively might as well be doin the same amount of damage

#snap chats #judgement posting real ??? <- hasnt played it yet #LISTEN MAYBE TOMORROW IDK #im thinkin to spend my morning on comms then in-between class time on judgement and then the rest of the night on comms #i may or may not be packed like a sardine... omg that reminds me of my train trip tho #the train system i was taking was kinda sketch on the lowest of keys but it was so funny transferring trains #cause the second train i had to take there was An Atom of room left and thankfully i have the body mass of a paper bag #so i just slipped in but then i was just fucking smooshed against the wall. it was hillarious #oh yeah. 'snap why are yo making this very specific post' because i didnt realize the benefits of sleeping on a bed #all summer when i was at my moms i slept on a couch in our basement since.#i refuse to sleep on the same floor as her at this point LMAO she dont make me feel safe in there #so yeah i just did That for three months and ive obvi been sleepin on a bed since going back to school #and dawg while i was over there for the weekend i only slept on a couch Again #the added benefit to sleeping on the couch is my dog is more likely to sleep near me.. hehe..#OH BUT YEAH NOW MY BACK HURT. ive never experience back pain like this before..#maybe the couch i was sleeping on sucked idk. the one i was sleeping on's cushions get pushed out real easy #my usual couch doesnt but... dog...... dog likes the other couch more lowkey....#anyways Get Yagami A Bed 2024

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dan-sing-in-the-rain · 5 days ago

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I went to TIT tonight! Unfortunately I am so not in the place to be able to handle something like that, but they are cool and I am glad I at least tried something new by going.

(rambles in the tags, no tit spoilers though)

#basically the evening went quite terribly #but the show was entertaining #to begin i was exhausted today because i normally need the weekends to recalibrate but i had to do a group project yesterday so i didn't ge #my social isolation time and sleep hours that are required #and the past few weeks i have been hardly functioning except for things i have to by stress and peer pressure #i have been trying to make life a bit easier by dropping some classes but it's still all pretty much falling apart #so then today i was like i should go to this because i spent so much money and also this was the thing i had planned to look forward to for #months when people were all on my back about not having far away things to look forward to #so i went but utterly exhausted without doing the things i needed to do like mapping the route out and planning my approach #so i missed the bus and then took an uber instead #and then i left my phone (with my id and all) in the uber because my brain is not working #lovely security guards helped me get it back but it took nearly an hour bc i couldn't remember any of my passwords or the car plate or colo #so then i got into the show 20 minutes late #and then almost immediately the screaming (cheering and crowd interaction) got me freaking out #because it was SO LOUD and then even after intermission when i put in really strong foam earplugs the screaming still hurt #everything from the show was loud enough to hear clearly through the earplugs but the audience noise was hardly even reduced #(and these are like serious earplugs that have gotten me through loud events before)#and i wanted to show my appreciation and stuff like everyone else when they were clapping and wooping but i was like frozen #anyway then i had trouble getting back too #and now i am feeling like it was stupid to even try to go to an event and maybe i should never do this again #but the show was nice though and it was cool to see dan and phil in person bc it is kind of crazy they are real

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6mayhem · 22 days ago

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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL #i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort #but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome #and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP #he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him #were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond #its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other #there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes #while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time #theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car #and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk #in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time #to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship #him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil #he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits #all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did #they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him #also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now #but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other #he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that #makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary #if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself #sorry oversharing oh wow

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indiegame · 26 days ago

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dude im being so brave rn

#logbook #cleaning out the fridgeeee lets fucking gooooo. oof.#doing it while the housemates are gone for various reasons but mostly so i can toss out the trash b4 they get back #planning to make my bed. then do plant chores after this.#ive given up on leaving the house this weekend which is fine bc leaving the house really becomes a several hours time.#like living up and out of the city and needing to get to the city on days im off? boo. just let me stay up here.#i got in my old person porch time this morning. played games and experienced the birds at my feet.#the fact that im not hurting so bad today is a win esp since tmrw im back at work and will just be hurting all over again #i'll just plan for errands after work instead and let myself clean the house which has been stressing me out sooo much lol #also i got new sweatpants and they are legit the cosiest ones. they top my other cozy pair. wild.#dude icb its nov. . .so much going on rn im truly distancing myself from all my life shit to clean house. literally.#work has been so shit every fucking day idk if i can do this anymore tbh #anyways no matter. im alive and still existing in case anyone was wondering.#i hope everyone and their plants and creatures are doing ok. mwah.

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desire-mona · 3 months ago

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mo I have this beloved 10 year old Sony dvd player that does not hold a charge whatsoever but runs so very well and has been by my side for so long. you and it are very similar in my head. you’re like when computers still had the cd thingy. I say this with all the love and fondness in my heart. ok bye🐕

cries and cries and cries and cries. thank u that is so kind. id like to give off a dvd title screen energy but im not exactly sure how to go about doing that. ive been reading my staff stuff for the past like 45 minutes and god im so bored its all important but MAN i kinda just wanna lay down. theres this dog at work named ellie that i only saw when i came in for my interview but when i saw her i thought of u

#desire mona #ellie pls come back to me i wanna see u again #actually considering im working in the special ed department im sure i will see her plenty #shadowing 8th grade tomorrow finally but the para im shadowing has only worked there a week so thatll be interesting #hes my age at least which is great cuz ive been feeling like a baby #ladies i was with today asked how old i was and they were both like OH YOURE JUST A BABY!!!!!!!!#one of them offered to drive me to my moms office cuz its on her way home n my feet hurt but i have to get used to trucking thru the pain so #i said no #tomorrows jeans day and what im assuming is my last shadowing day kinda excited kinda not #mostly tired #cannot wait for the weekend good lord #stanley ann - chris thile #ask #grand dad

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mewrising · 3 months ago

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Being sick is. the worst

#got done working 50 hours a week basically all summer and my body was like “guess I'll die” lol #I don't even know what I have other than it's some sort of viral something and I am so tired and everything hurts #but I'm not having *enough* symptoms to say for sure “oh yeah that's mono” or whatever #and the drs are like #well your vitals are in a normal range so even though you feel like your heart is beating more and your bp is doing #weird things and your temp is slightly elevated there really isn't anything wrong with you #and now classes have started and I'm an RA again and leading in a club and it's like...please I want to feel better so I can do these thing #the worst part is the brain fog making me feel like I'm not going to be able to handle all the really difficult classes I'm taking :/#probs going to go back to urgent care this weekend to test for mono since it's been long enough the test should be positive if I have it #if it's not mono...no clue what the heck it is.#mew's musings #illness tw

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gristlegrinder · 6 months ago

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waaaughhhhh.

#i’m trying out new meds and the side affects have been brutal #my tummy hurts. my head hurts. i can’t sleep.#i’m gonna give it the weekend and then if it doesn’t get better i’m giving up #unfortunately i do NOT want to go back to this doctor because she sucked ass so i’m on my own again!#a little personal but. you know

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