#im in so much pain it’s not even funny | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

palms-upturned · 6 months ago

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#meg talks #just venting #im in so much pain it’s not even funny #im sorry for being inactive for so long i really was not anticipating this #the good news is ive made a lot of progress on compiling the spreadsheet for vetted gaza funds #so that once ive cleared out the dms i can add additional mods and get the ball rolling properly again #the bad news is that my insomnia is back and my pain is getting so bad i can barely get out of bed or eat #i don’t think it’s related to the fundraising work so much as… everything else -_-#i didn’t want to be out of a job for this long #and having to send so many applications and make so many fucking unhelpful phone calls a day to doctors and help centers…#idk. this isn’t me complaining abt the fundraiser work if anything it’s the only rewarding thing im doing rn #but im frustrated w myself and with my body and with. everything #it’s not just my own family relying on me anymore #and that makes it hard to deal with all this. like i could be using my time and energy way better than this.#but instead im playing phone tag to try and prove that im disabled and need to feed my brothers.#im just cjdhxgxjcncj sigh. whatever if i can just get over this hump then the rest will be downhill #and my friend is going to help me w cooking this weekend so that me and my bros can eat better #so hopefully that will give me a boost too #idr where i was going w this. probably nowhere jdgdjdnxnc im just miserable rn bc i can’t sleep and my leg hurts

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inkskinned · 15 days ago

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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

#spilled ink #warm up #oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT #hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not #“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books #and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say #they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.

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theaceace · 9 months ago

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imagining a world in which Simon agreed to go with Edwin and try to escape hell, imagining Simon developing an immediate and very inadvisable crush on the cute guy that just threw a grenade at a demon and Edwin's reaction to that, imagining the reaction of Charles Overprotective Rowland when he finds out that the guy Edwin insists on dragging along with them is one of the guys that sacrificed him to a demon in the first place, imagining the Night Nurse's face when three dead boys pop back through the door instead of two

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #This is very much not what I would have wanted to see in the show because that episode was perfect to me #But I do think it would have been funny #And hey if you wanted to go the angst route and follow sandman comic lore of 'people stay in hell because they believe they should be there #Then you could have Edwin who has come to terms with who he is and Simon who is starting to forgive himself thanks to Edwin #Getting out of Hell just fine while they're being chased #And Charles 'im scared I'll end up like my dad' Rowland. Charles 'i could never be good enough' Rowland. Charles 'rage issues' Rowland #Who doesn't think he deserves to get out. Even if the thought is deep down and buried #Edwin's reaction to that would be. Woof. Yikes. Delicious #Don't get me wrong Charles would absolutely not stay in hell because I love him too much for that #And so does Death and you absolutely cannot change my mind about that there's no way she doesn't know about the boys #So yeah he'd get out fairly quickly #But just. The potential. The pain. Chef's kiss

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anirritant · 5 months ago

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umm i guess im treating this like an au now ahah

pmd2 darkrai hasn't had time to figure out wtf is going on (he's been here for like an hour tops). he's lost his composure immediately lol

#this is stupid hgsdjgs #cresselia is a PAIN to draw btw #too many smooth shapes aaaa #anyway. i like to think the pmd series is its own universe with only one darkrai and cresselia there. and they hate each other's guts #so pmd2 darkrai got chucked into a different universe. where that darkrai and cresselia are more chill w each other #(which seems to be the case in the games and anime.. sometimes?)#pmd2 darkrai is BAFFLED that they aren't mortal enemies here lol he's so expecting to get beat up all over again #he would be running away so fast if he weren't being dragged by the hair hgfhdsfkjg #i didnt put much thought into how this would even work i just thought it was funny and ran with it LOL #pmd2 darkrai probably woke up saw another him and went 'ah yes i must be in the past now there's two of me to work together'#talking like 'haha this is perfect let us combine our might to plunge this world into darkness' or some shit #and the other darkrai just. stares. says to themself 'yeah im too tired for this shit im taking this weirdo to cresselia' LOL #pokemon #darkrai #pmd darkrai #cresselia #two darkrais au #pmd au #anirritant art

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ghostofsnails · 26 days ago

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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

#disventure camp #disventure camp fanart #tristan vik #disventure camp tristan #ghostofsnails #my art #It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this #like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them #ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON #actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball #i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped #i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so #kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth #stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy #they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too #Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR #CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN #THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.

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mamawasatesttube · 2 months ago

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experiencing the horrors . save me lil guy from comic book. lil guy from comic book PLEASE

#rimi talks #genuinely kind of sad/upset i wont be able to do more than 1 MAYBE 2 fics for superfam week #bc this whole week and last week have been taken up by health bullshit and all i want ot do is sleep #i had plans. i had outlines. unfortunately i also had my stupid body betray me and now here we are :(#i had a doctors appt yesterday. and the day before. and i have one monday and one more that i haven't scheduled yet #i am. so tired y'all #and im extra tired of being in pain all the time. i have been in constant pain since wednesday at noon #it's a little funny i was texting my friend abt steel '94 and there is a timestamp visible for when i stopped responding #bc i was suddenly in too much pain to put words in order or even sit up straight at my laptop lmao #and luckily it HAS gone down like im not in so much pain i genuinely can't breathe anymore. no longer feel like im in danger of passing out #but i do still feel pretty damn bad and im so tired of it aouhghuhgghghhhhhhhhhh #comic book man save me (he can't bc i can't even fuckign write?? what's the POINT)

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moeblob · 2 months ago

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TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.

#moe talks a lot #oops i fell in love #cleric!right is forever funny to me because yeah its incredibly fitting for him to crave the power to heal #since he personally is so damaged and refuses to hurt others even in a game #but also he has such a foul mouth and you cannot remove that part of him ever #hes going to yell obscenities before he heals someone #like the joke of YOU HAVE UNO IT CAME WITH YOUR XBOX #is now YOU HAVE HEALING IT COMES WITH THE PALADIN #and then he just goes and heals karen while paul is like hey thats mean what if i want to bond with you :c #why wont you ever heal ME right i wanna be healed by you ! shes missing like 2hp what about healing my 10hp #again i have zero dnd exp and i am only learning from asking buddies who play it cause google sucks #i say that bc i tried googling something about clerics and it gave answers i didnt want to questions i didnt ask #anyway time to go perish personally im in so much pain and im v tired #for the record bc i know some people have expressed concerns in the past that im pushing myself too much to draw daily #its mostly my legs n feet that hurt constantly after work #my hand is still fine and while i do have some weird bruising on my arms (a mystery!) bc i bruise easily #its not me pushing through the hand pain or something bad like that its just i ache a lot

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xxplastic-cubexx · 21 days ago

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Thank you for making that cherik edit of "Marvel's Squirrel Girl: The Unbeatable Radio Show!" especially with the subtitles!!! Made it so much easier for me, who has a really hard time understanding audios without subtitles or transcripts, so thank youuu!!!

Also, Idk if you know that new edit trend of using the song "would you love me" from epic the musical to portray like people falling in love with each other across multiple universes. But anyway, your tags in that post about a podcast not being safe from cherik made me think of that edit trend. I realize that's literally so cherik coded

I went and looked for an example of the trend:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6a3MYN4/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6a3QVjN/

YAAAAY i'm so happy you enjoyed !! i wanted to make subtitles with that specific purpose in mind so i'm so glad someone got use out of it (i know i had to repeat some bits a couple of times because /i/ wasnt exactly sure what was said during my first couple listens, so i figured other people might not be able to hear some portions well either) :]]] !!!!

but vjALJAKLJKLJERA that's so funny ........ and true ...... even in a podcast universe they'll find a way to be wedded and divorced and remarried 🥺💀💀 they're inevitable ...

Tiktok 1

Tiktok 2

#snap chats #i love the squirrle girl pod cast so much so im glad to share the erik bits from it ... lol ..#even if it did rob me of my day yesterday BUT I HAVE NO REGRETS #it was painful adn annoying sometimes but i do love subtitling. and again im glad i can finally help share these bits more now #so work well worth it i think !!!! plus now /i/ get to listen to these clips easily. .... . . heh...#though someone said i missed a bit ?? from an after-credits call ? i tried looking in the post credits of the last episode and eriks last e #but i couldnt find anymore ... i hope its not true because if it is im effectively going to lose my mind 👯‍♀️#anyways. see charles and erik's relationship is integral ....... legally impossible to discuss one without the other at soem point #so funny that erik really was just calling in to bother charles on sendin one of his students tho ERIK #that is some married-people shit tho ..... gotta send the kids over to help peepaw out ffs ..#well hopefully erik got that coke. and they finished that rockumentary ....#i love how excited erik is about the better internet jvEALKEJAKL like first off Real second off he's so giddy about his gigs 😭😭😭

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hakusins · 3 months ago

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cw // sensitive language

how its going rn.

#I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO DO HALLOWEEN STUFF BECAUSE OF THIS DAMNED PRESENTATION IM SO !!!!!!!!!!! HEGHRGEHFHBERF #HGHGHHHTRHGHRTG RAGE ++++++++++#dean rambles #my body is in so much pain its not even funny #im so tired and frustrated and HHGHUGHURTHGHRTGHGHG #one of my hot patches fell off today in the bathroom im going to kill someone fr #haku rambles #hakudean rambles #sensitive language cw

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caluupin · 1 year ago

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ARCHONS TO SEND OFF THE YEAR!!! (kind of a redraw from last year's September)

#caluuart #genshin impact #genshin #venti #zhongli #furina #nahida #raiden shogun #I'm honestly quite proud of this! woo #I think this is a good piece to send off this year #It was honestly a bit of a pain in the ass to do but it was fun and im proud of my child that is the artwork #at one point out of sheer tiredness(?) of working on it for hours straight without a break #I went to play a game of chess #and I won spectacularly. isn't it great #also another funny thing #I started watching ace attorney play throughs and I was watching so much of it the only ads im getting is. well. GENSHIN ADS.#I'm not even joking the majority of the ads I get were genshin ads. they really want me back #its not even that I quit/took a break from genshin #just today I was re-checking and re-clearing aranaras and doing the events #the image that genshin is like jealous or smth to take over the ads bc I was watching another game ('s play through) is so funny to me #anyways!! cya later and happy new years!! or holidays.

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jorvikzelda · 10 months ago

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i, chronic migraine sufferer, when i dont have a migraine for a couple days will go. wow i think i am fixed now and will never have a migraine again :) and then i get a migraine and i go >:O however could this happen to me!!! nobody could see this coming!! least of all me!!

#this time it for some reason also brought with it a HIP PAIN FLAREUP. URGH #to be clear theyre not CONFIRMED chronic - theres criteria for how many days a month you have to have them etc - but like #with how often i have them and how severe they are i am willing to call them that even before ive counted this entire month #its EIGHT days out of the month. EIGHT. thats NOTHING #(and fifteen with headaches. but i have headaches every single day so)#z talks #I am in so much fucking pain its not even funny #really i should like. get off my phone. but i think im afraid to let go of the distraction mayhe #jesus fucming christ #waugh. someone care for me 😔 kiss my forehead nbring me. medication #if youve gone on 2 dates with someone. can you. ask them to get you pain meds. (i would pay obviously.) she is my closest friend in this Fuc #king Cit #y

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cavity-collector · 5 months ago

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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me #i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum #my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation #depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man #theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please #i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good #but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great #i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to #actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die #i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless #i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something #probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so #ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left #ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this #an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways #no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil #because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good #idk what im saying anymore #someone shoot me #please im not kidding #just make it stop #tw vent #tw sui #delete later

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bmpmp3 · 9 months ago

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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

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widevibratobitch · 2 months ago

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losing my fucking mind fr

#why do i feel like it's only getting worse 😭😭😭#now my ears hurt as well lol&lmao when will this end #im this close to just breaking down and crying rn istg jfc #i feel like a gunshot wound probably hurts less lol (<-me being dramatic ig but im serious when i say ive never felt a pain quite like this #not for this long non stop and not one that would make the most basic bodily functions literally impossible lol)#like this is so much worse than the last time its not even funny

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todayisafridaynight · 10 months ago

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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

#snap chats #haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant #anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much #i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do #fine lets get Real Talk about it #well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there #and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway #i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls #like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it #that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence #smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on #its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP #i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode #especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much #i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught #aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up #and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful #his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore #like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene #plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL #i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO #thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever

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strawberrymilk-sunshine · 11 months ago

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I think most of my problems would be solved if I was a small wounded animal dying on the forest floor and some other animal dragged me back to their den and nursed me back to health in some weird animal way idk and now we are friends and hunt together and will die together

#im in so much fucking pain its not even funny omg #not a story

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