#anyway I’m normal how are you guys this evening

[straightforthefl00r]

lovesick

january hasn’t even hit double digits yet, i’m all valentines ready 😭😭

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹. Keigo wouldn’t be surprised if he just collapsed because of a heart attack with how fast his heart was pounding. He needed to stop being so nervous, or else he was going to start to sweat. If he started to sweat, then he was going to smell, and then — argh!

It was Valentine’s day, D-day, the day of yours and Keigo’s first date.

Normally, Keigo would breeze through a date easily. No problems. He’d smile cheekily, flirt in that way he always does and wouldn’t even think twice about casual touches, hand holding or kisses. 

 But with you, god, it was so different.

You two were already friends before he asked you out. You guys bonded over the little things: early lectures, stupid films and the bastard that was Touya Todoroki. However, long before he even entertained the idea of liking you romantically, his breath always hitched when you came into the room. As cheesy as it sounded, you were dazzling to him, funny and sweet. He was smitten. 

He thought that the hard part was finally over when he successfully asked you out. A movie night in your dorm, with a classic face-to-face, heartfelt confession (which ended with red cheeks and redder lips). He remembered that while you moved to press a firm kiss to his lips, you held his face gently. No one ever did that before. No one ever held him with such softness, with such affection like you did. 

Keigo, you muttered quietly with a smile into his ear, finally.

He reached for his jacket. God, he needed to get his act together. His hands fiddled with the zipper before dragging it up to his collarbones. The weather was getting warmer, warm enough to forego the outerwear. But, for some inexplicable reason if it got colder, he figured that he could offer you his jacket. Be the perfect gentlemanly boyfriend you deserve. He didn’t need the jacket anyway, he ran hotter than most. 

Keigo looked into the mirror, eyes scrutinising his reflection. He looked like he was going to take a hike up Mount Everest. For a more relaxed look, and to kid himself into looking like some state of calm, he unzipped his jacket. His hawk-like eyes zoned in on a small stain on his shirt. Fuck. Why on god’s green earth did he not see that before?? With furrowed brows, he glanced at the clock, then zipped his jacket halfway to cover the dirt and bolted out the door with a picnic basket in hand. 

Thankfully not out of breath, he arrived at the park. It was late afternoon and surprisingly empty. At this point in the day, Keigo was just glad that you were running slightly late too. He had received a text from you just as he reached the meeting place, saying something had come up and that you’ll be there in less than twenty minutes. 

Perfect! Just enough time to set up the picnic. The plan was to stay long enough to watch the sun sink into the sky and then, well, Keigo was willing to improvise. The sky was cloudy, he might have to concoct a plan sooner than he thought. 

“Keigo,” you gaped, “what the actual hell? This is beautiful!” 

His head snapped up to meet your eyes. They were clear and sparkling, and slightly squinted due to the huge beam on your face. Keigo thought that he would never see a cuter sight.

You set your bag down, laughing as you joined him on the picnic blanket. The sound, a delight to his ears. 

“What’s up sweets?” He huffed, laughing with you, “Miss me?”

Bending forward, you poked his cheek, “Always. Did you know you looked like a meerkat just then?” You quickly added.

He feigned offence, “You wound me! I’m excited to see you and this is what I get?”

“But you love me right?”

“I still didn’t look like a desert rat.”

You leaned back, to imitate the way he looked at you.

“Now, tell me that didn’t look like a meerkat.” 

“I’d prefer it if you said I looked like anything else — a hawk perhaps?”

“Meerkats are cute, I’m calling you cute!”

“Mmh…” He reached out his finger to poke your cheek just as you did, “Nope. Not at all. You must be seeing things.”

You rolled your eyes with a light smile, before looking at Keigo’s picnic set up again. 

“You did all of this for me?”

There was a fragrant bouquet of yours and Keigo’s favourite flowers sitting in the woven picnic basket, full bloom. You told him that you loved pretty things, what was prettier than flowers? Though, he was very close to printing out a bunch of candid photographs of you both to decorate the picnic — he refrained by a fraction. 

A platter of your favourite fruits were placed beside the flowers, meticulously arranged. Keigo was particularly proud of them; he cut the strawberries into heart shapes. However, the star of the show (apart from you, of course) was the cake he baked. It was a small thing, not the best looking. He was never any good with cooking, let alone baking, but he tried. It was slightly squashed on the side from being in the basket, even so, it should taste good. 

“Anything for you really,” he replied, your name sweet on his lips, “want to take a bite?”

꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.°.‧ ꩜‧.°.𖦹 .°.‧꩜ ‧.°. 𖦹.

part two? yay or nay?

[thewalrusespublicist]

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

[nxzz-skz]

A week of (un)dead chaos (OT8 skz)

ᯓ★ zombie!reader x human!OT8skz

ᯓ★ warnings: a little bit of gore, mention of limbs, crack, fluff

ᯓ★this was recommended by @writtingrubberducky (note: since I've never written this genre, I had to get my friend to assist, and I'm sorry if its not the best!)

Synopsis : In a universe where being a zombie is just another part of life, Y/N faces seven chaotic days off without her usual medication, bringing cravings, falling limbs, and heightened reflexes. With her human friends, Stray Kids, as her reluctant yet loyal support system, hilarity and heartwarming chaos ensue. Can they survive a week of mayhem without losing their friendship - or their brains?

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

The day starts no different that usual : you make your way into the shared apartment of the Stray Kids boys, cup of coffee in one hand, your phone in the other. Life as a modern zombie is... manageable. You've been taking the medication that stops the whole rotting-flesh, brain-eating debacle, and it's made sure things stay pretty normal.

Except for today.

"Guys, I have some... news," you announce awkwardly as you set your cup on the kitchen counter and shuffle into the living room. The boys - Chan, Changbin, Jisung, Felix, Hyunjin, Minho, Seungmin, and Jeongin - turn to you from their various spots. Jisung is sprawled across the couch playing a video game on the TV with Jeongin, Chan's laptop hums from the coffee table, and Changbin and Felix are sharing a bag of chips.

“You’re getting married?” Changbin blurts out, chip crumbs falling everywhere.

“No,” you say, frowning at the mess he’s making.

“You’re finally getting a cat?” Jisung asks, eyes twinkling as he pauses his game.

“No… Well, maybe later,” you mutter before shaking your head to refocus. “Anyway, my medication is being switched for a week, starting today. There’s going to be… side effects.”

“Side effects?” Chan repeats, looking up from his laptop. His voice is calm, but his furrowed brow betrays his concern.

You sigh, gesturing vaguely at your body. “I’m going to… smell a little funny, maybe lose a limb or two. Also, I’ll have… cravings.”

“For what?” Minho deadpans, even though you can tell he already knows the answer.

“…Brains,” you admit, barely audible. The word hangs in the air like a thundercloud.

Cue the chaos. Felix screams, dropping his chips as he leaps behind the couch. Jeongin yelps and clutches a cushion to his chest, his game long forgotten. Hyunjin, ever the drama king, dramatically flings himself across the couch, yelling about betrayal. Seungmin grabs a pillow for defense, holding it like a shield.

“Guys!” Chan yells over the din, raising his hands to restore order. “It’s fine! Y/N is still Y/N. We’ll help her through this week. Right?”

There’s a chorus of reluctant agreements, though you catch the uneasy glance Minho shoots your way and notice how Jisung clutches a game controller like it’s his last line of defense. You sigh. It’s going to be a long week.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

You wake up to find your index finger has detached itself during the night. Groaning, you scoop it up from the pillow and wrap it in a tissue before heading to the kitchen for coffee. The smell of eggs and bacon greets you, along with the sight of Changbin humming to himself as he eats cereal.

“Morning,” you mumble, holding your finger awkwardly behind your back as you pour coffee.

“Morning,” he replies, giving you a quick glance. “What’s that?” he adds suspiciously when he notices the tissue in your hand.

“My finger,” you reply matter-of-factly, trying to sound casual.

Changbin’s spoon clatters to the table, and his eyes go wide. “Your… finger?” he repeats, his voice rising an octave.

“It’s normal,” you say quickly. “It’ll grow back by the end of the week. I think.”

“You think?” Seungmin’s dry voice cuts in as he enters the kitchen, eyeing the tissue like it might jump out and attack him. Behind him, Jisung saunters in mid-yawn, only to freeze when he hears the words “finger” and “grow back.”

“Is that…” Jisung begins, pointing at the tissue.

“It’s fine,” you assure him, though the nervous looks the boys exchange tell you they’re not convinced. Minho visibly recoils when you sit at the table and casually place the tissue-wrapped digit beside your plate.

“Can you not leave body parts lying around?” Hyunjin says as he enters, looking half-asleep but horrified nonetheless.

Felix, ever the sweetheart, offers you a bandage. “Here, Y/N. It’s okay. At least you’re not… rotting that much.”

You’re touched by his kindness until you notice he’s holding the bandage with tongs and has sprayed it with perfume.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

By Day 3, the cravings hit. Hard.

You sit at the kitchen table, staring longingly at a raw steak Chan bought for you to cure your… urges. The boys are gathered around, watching like scientists observing a dangerous experiment.

“How are you feeling?” Chan asks cautiously, leaning forward slightly.

Instead of answering, you pick up the steak with both hands and sink your teeth into it. The room fills with the sound of tearing meat, and everyone freezes. You pause mid-bite, glancing up at them.

“Fine,” you say through a mouthful of steak.

The boys huddle in the corner, whispering furiously.

“Is it weird that I think it’s kind of cute?” Felix whispers, earning incredulous stares from the others.

“Cute?” Jeongin hisses. “She's literally chewing on a cow.”

“Better the steak than our brains,” Seungmin mutters darkly, folding his arms.

Hyunjin nods solemnly, holding up a garlic necklace like it’s a holy relic. You raise an eyebrow at him, and he squeaks, shoving it back into his pocket.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

By now, the side effects have fully kicked in, including the dreaded smell. No amount of deodorant can completely mask it, and the boys are clearly suffering.

"Y/N, you smell like... death" Minho announces, grimacing as he waves a hand in front of his nose.

"Thanks for the reminder,” you snap, spraying yourself with an industrial-strength deodorant. The chemical smell mingles horribly with your natural scent, making the situation worse.

The boys try coming up with a plan.

“What if we… wrap you in plastic?” Jisung suggests, earning a glare from you.

“I am not a doll,” you reply icily.

“Febreze?” Hyunjin offers, holding up a can like it’s a magic wand.

“Guys,” Chan interrupts, “Y/N is trying her best. Let’s… maybe use candles instead?”

They then proceed to light every candle in the house. It smells like a floral disaster zone, but they’re too proud of their idea to notice.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

Your heightened zombie reflexes become apparent when you accidentally break a door handle. Then a chair. Then Seungmin’s favorite mug.

“You’re a walking disaster,” he says, glaring at the shattered remains of his mug on the floor.

“I didn’t mean to!” you protest, holding your hands up in surrender. “My reflexes are just… heightened right now.”

To prove your point, you catch a fly mid-air with lightning speed. The boys stare in awe, except Seungmin, who just looks annoyed.

“You still owe me a new mug,” he grumbles, stepping around the broken pieces.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

It all starts innocently enough. You’re brushing your teeth in the bathroom, humming a tune, when your ear decides to detach itself. You don’t even notice until you glance at the sink and see it lying there.

“Not again,” you groan, picking it up and carefully wiping it off. You figure you’ll deal with it later and leave it on the counter. Big mistake.

Five minutes later, Jeongin enters the bathroom. His scream could shatter glass, and it echoes through the apartment so loudly that even the neighbors call to check on you.

“What is it now?” Chan sighs, running into the hallway with the others hot on his heels.

Jeongin stumbles out of the bathroom, pale as a sheet. “It’s her ear! It’s just sitting there! Watching me!”

Felix bravely enters the bathroom to retrieve the offending ear. He returns holding it carefully between two fingers, looking equal parts amused and horrified. “You left your ear on the counter, Y/N.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, snatching it back. “It’s hard to keep track sometimes.”

Felix tries to help by gluing it back on. Unfortunately, he gets the angle wrong, and you end up with your ear stuck to your neck. The sight sends the boys into hysterics, with Hyunjin collapsing to the floor in laughter while Minho wheezes like he’s about to pass out.

“I hate this,” you groan, glaring at your misplaced ear.

“Fashion statement,” Hyunjin manages to gasp between fits of laughter. “You’re a trendsetter now.”

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

Your new medication finally kicks in, and you wake up feeling… normal. Your skin is clearer, your cravings have vanished, and your fingers and ears are firmly attached. For the first time in days, you don’t feel like a walking disaster.

“You look great!” Hyunjin says, smiling genuinely as you enter the living room. The others nod in agreement, looking relieved.

“You survived the week,” Chan adds, patting your shoulder.

“We survived the week,” Seungmin corrects with a pointed look.

Despite all the chaos, you can’t help but feel grateful. These boys stuck by you through your worst, and you’re pretty sure they’d do it again. Their laughter, their teasing, even their over-the-top interventions—it all reminds you how lucky you are to have them in your (un)life.

“Thanks, guys,” you say sincerely, sitting down among them.

“Just promise you won’t eat us if there’s a next time,” Jeongin jokes.

You grin. “No promises.”

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

ᯓ★ Reblogs and follows appreciated!

ᯓ★ Send an ask if there's anything you want me to write for any Enha or Skz member! (no smut)

ᯓ★ : perm taglist : @cafffeineconnoisseur @skzbiasot8 @candyquokka @idiotmaterial @backseat-serenade-dizzyhurricane @hanji-coffee @jeonginsbaee

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[extremelycaffeinatedbird]

Thinking about Odin and Loki again bc when am I not. A list of songs that make me want to wail about them in no particular order and with little to no explanation:

Allies or Enemies - the Crane Wives (Regret ™️)

Liar - the Arcadian Wild (let’s be real both of them)

Wander Wonder - the Arcadian Wild (Odin)

Tongues & Teeth - the Crane Wives (Loki)

King and Lionheart - Of Monsters and Men (what they both think Could Have Been)

Bad Blood - Bastille (yeah.)

Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy (yeag)

Icarus - the Crane Wives (listen the singer is calling to their brother cmon. Cmon.)

Francesca - Hozier (me, making romantic songs about platonic relationships again? Ahaha no *runs*)

[peak-dumbass]

*emerges from the fog* have you heard of my boy called sideswipe he suffers from little bitch syndrome and unresolved trauma he refuses to talk about

I also think he’s aroace—*gets shot*

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

[possiblyfunny]

Hello again, fellas. (And to whoever is actually interested in looking at my weird little AU-) Sanctuary has been on my mind lately and uhhh, I’d like to introduce you to some new characters!

Meet the Eventide Duo: REI and KAI!

I, like with Aster and Del, have never drawn them before, and because I honestly didn’t have it in me to do two full-body drawings with color and everything, doodling them was the next best thing. I’ve been thinking about these two a lot and just really wanted to get them down as a start. Soooo—this is their first pass and things are subject to change! (Please excuse the messiness-)

Rei (the Red) and Kai (the Blue) come from—okay this is kinda funny now that I’m writing it out—their AU was inspired by an FNF fan song that I heard awhile back. It was something like “Frostbite but Blue.” The person who made the song (I don’t remember their name off the top of my head) said they were going to post the lore, but as far as I know they never did, so my brain kinda took the concept and ran with it—making it into my own story. (Sorry to whoever that was-)

Rei is the fledgling god of the Sun and the Second Coming of Arceus. He ascended to godhood after his untimely death, returning to earth to protect the one he loves. Rei may look like a massive grump, but in reality, he's a ray of sunshine and one of the most warm-hearted and protective people you'll ever meet. Kai is still a Pokémon Trainer, but he’s also Rei's singular devotee. He's honestly pretty quiet for a Blue, if not a bit high-strung, but he's loyal and sweet, even if he has a bit of a hard time showing it.

The both of them worked together to survive the violent floods and rainfall that devastated their original home, and now live a quiet life together in Sanctuary, going on little adventures here and there to try and reclaim the life they lost bit by bit.

(Okay, time to tag my one fan. @100nebulas , I think you said you wanted more Sanctuary content in general that one time, so I guess you’re gonna be eternally tagged in these lmao. Hope you enjoy :])

[itsalwaysforyou]

jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[ilovefredjones]

i love you / i need to / who am i? / without you?

amanda row, star trek: strange new worlds / fizz, you, me, lonely

[starscelly]

[mint-mumbles]

Gonna use this image any time someone says something low key sexist about Sable (ie "she's showing too much skin" regarding a fucking bathing suit 😭🤦)

I don't hear you complaining about Spirit 😭

[ranger-danger]

Talking about stardew valley romances is so awkward. My friends are like “oh I love [every single guy, and Haley, but Alex]” and I have to go “oh I like Alex and Maru the most.”

[seravphs]

I’m scared to post knight Gojo thank you for being so nice to me about it bffs 💛

[tragedykery]

it’s sooo fucked up that boromir’s last words were “I’ve failed.” literally sooososo fucked up

[victory-cookies]

it’s so fucked that they put love toboggan right before island of lost dakotas. like. it puts it on the brain in a rewatch, and not only is there a cav death scene in love toboggan, it was actively caused by murphy’s law. in another timeline milo was technically responsible for cav getting killed. dakota saw that. how many times has that happened, too. someone send dakota to therapy right away man imagine if you kept seeing your incredibly unlucky pseudo nephew accidentally kill your weird time travel work situationship for whom you would lay down your life. that would do something to a man I think