#anyways can you tell that i’m Normal about him

[queerdaisyjane]

”Mom! Turn around and let me get dressed,” you asked pointedly. “Oh sweetie, there’s nothing to be shy about, we’re all girls here, me, you and your sisters,” your mom replied. “Since you returned from the sexual reassignment center I’ve been dying to look at your cute little body. Your sisters have been asking as well. So we think it’s time for a fashion show. Oh look, no body hair. Did you get laser hair removal while you were in the hospital? Good for you, sweetie that will make it a lot easier for you, not to have to shave. And you have such a nice ass now. The hormones have done well by you. Not only have your breasts grown, but your hips are wider. I expect some boys are already starting to notice. It’s kind of exciting to be pursued, isn’t it? Before your transition, you were the pursuer and let’s be honest, you weren’t very successful. Now you can have a 100% success rate. As a woman, if you want to have sex, it’s virtually always possible.

As your mother, I have some things to teach you. Go lay down on the bed and take off your panties. I’m going to show you some things about your body. Do you still have that hand mirror in your bathroom? The one I gave you when you started to transition? Yes darling I’m so excited. I’ve done this lesson with each of your sisters before. We’re going to explore your pussy. Because that’s what you call it silly! No woman calls it her vagina. That sounds like you’re in medical school. No you’re a girl and you have a pussy, a cunt, a snatch, a cunnie, a veejayjay. You pick the name then.

That’s right lay back on the bed and spread your legs. Look at your cute cunnie with the mirror. Put your fingers down here; spread your lips open. It feels good, doesn’t it? Are you starting to get wet? That will happen when you’re with a man or a woman and you’re aroused, even if you’re not naked. Can you feel it, your pussy getting moist? You’ll soon be able to tell when it’s happening. That means you’re becoming receptive to sex, and to the situation that’s occurring. Could be a person or a situation or both. I rather like it when your father takes me by force, especially if I’m not really consenting. Even if it’s not what my mind says I want, my body betrays me and my pussy becomes flooded. But enough about me, we’re here to explore you. OK, take one of your fingers and start rubbing up here yes toward the top of your vagina. Yes, even above where you pee now. Feel that little nub? Oh yeah, babe, it feels really good, huh? Go ahead and rub it. Vary your pace and technique. You may like to go slowly around in a circle or use several fingers and go up and down very fast. You may also want to take your other hand and slip it under your bum and either your finger your pussy from the other direction, or stick it up your ass. Yes honey, you mustn’t think of your ass as dirty. Well, I mean it is dirty, so you need to be sure to keep it clean now. We’ll talk about that later. Anal sex is a whole other topic, one I’ll also enjoy teaching you about. I think you’re going to find it quite pleasurable. Anyway, keep experimenting with ways to play with your clit and your holes baby. That way when you finally have the opportunity to be with a man, you’ll have some experience and know what you like best. You know there’s one other topic I want to mention to you now that we’re having girl talk. You may find yourself becoming very sexually attractive to your father, and also be attracted to him. It’s OK for young girls to have their first time be with their dad, and very normal. If you want to have sex with your father, I understand. He’s quite a man, obviously, I mean I married him. My only rule is this. Your first time has to be with me present. And remember you need to either be on birth control pills or use a condom if you’re having vaginal sex, and that goes for any man. You’re a biologically correct woman now and I’m not ready to be a grandmother. Of course, if you just want to give your father a blowjob or let him fuck you in the ass, well, you don’t need a condom for those things, although you may want it especially if you have anal sex and have not prepped and given yourself an enema. That can be a bit messy and using a condom helps.

After you’ve had anal sex a few times, you’ll become more comfortable, and you may want to do it without a condom and feel him ejaculate in your bottom. It’s a wonderful feeling! After he’s through it is sometimes nice to clean his penis with your mouth. This is considered a very submissive act and is called descriptively “ass to mouth,” or “ATM��� for short. Men love to see this level of worship displayed, and traditional women, like in our family, are naturally submissive and obedient toward our men. Well, that’s probably enough for today sweetie. Do you have any other questions for mommy?

[enbysiriusblack]

december jily bingo: spiked eggnog @jilychallenge

Lily stood by the eggnog punch bowls, keeping an eye on the students pouring themselves cups. Bertram Aubrey was the other side of the bowl, his prefect badge pinned to his dress robes. Lily had thought to do the same but didn't quite want to ruin her dress, and she hoped to get out of prefect duty early so she could enjoy the yule ball herself.

"So," Bertram glanced over to her as the third year finished filling up his cup, "Did you er- Did you come with anyone?"

Lily smiled politely at him, "Oh no, it's a bit difficult to have a date to these things when I’m chaperoning."

Bertram bit his lip nervously, "Well, you could always go with another prefect. Work the event together. I mean you and me are going to be spending the ball together anyway."

Lily frowned, "Well, I suppose. But I'm not really interested in any other prefects in that way."

"Oh."

"But you're a good friend, Bertram. It'll be fun to spend the evening together, as friends, don't you think?"

"Right, yes. Of course, "he coughed awkwardly.

James sauntered up to the table, Sirius by his side.

"Hey, Evans."

Lily glared at him, "What do you want?"

"Just here for some eggnog," he held his hands up innocently.

Lily folded her arms, "You don't like eggnog."

James grinned, "How'd you know that?"

"Because you've never drank it before."

James' grin widened, "And how would you know that? Watching me, are you Evans?"

"Of course not!" She spluttered, "It's just that we've been in the same house having meals together for years now. I mean, I know Sirius always has breads with his dinner."

Sirius leaned against the table, "Dinner rolls are a perfectly normal thing."

Bertram coughed behind him, "Can you please refrain from leaning on the table? You may break it."

Sirius rolled his eyes and ignored Bertram, instead he elbowed James.

"Go on then, Mate. Get some eggnog for your date."

Lily's eyes widened, "You have a date? Who is it?"

Sirius snorted, "And why do you care?"

"I'm just curious," she stood up straighter, "Wondering who in their right mind would agree to go on a date with someone who'd spend half the time talking to their reflection in the mirror."

James and Sirius both laughed, to Lily's confusion.

At that moment, Remus rushed up to the table.

"Bertram, there's a bit of an incident in the boy���s toilets, I need your help."

"Oh", Bertram glanced to Lily, "Are you okay here alone for a minute?"

"Yeah, go, go", Lily nodded.

Bertram followed Remus away from the table and out the hall. Sirius and James both sported matching smirks that Lily firmly knew well.

"You are not spiking the eggnog."

"What?" James gasped, "We'd never."

"Then what's the incident in the boy's toilets then?"

"How would we know anything about that?" Sirius tilted his head.

"Because you clearly got Remus to go drag Bertram away on some fake problem, so there's less of us to make sure you're not adding god knows what to the eggnog."

"Or", Sirius countered, "We got Remus to drag Bertram away on a very real problem that we got Peter to cause, so there's less of you squares to make sure we're not adding some muggle rum to our own eggnog."

James shrugged sheepishly, "We're not trying to get the first year's drunk."

"Ooh", Sirius grinned, "We should try to slip some in Snivellus' though."

"Absolutely not", Lily huffed.

"Fine we won't do anything to Snivellus if you let us do one punch bowl? We'll tell the upper years about it and you can stop any kids from going for the spiked bowl?" Sirius countered.

Lily thought about it for a moment, "Fine. Just in the bowl by me then."

"Fine, fine", James sighed, grabbing a flask out of his robe pocket and poured it in whilst Sirius made sure no teachers were around.

James began to ladle a few cups.

"Make me one", Lily decided.

"What?" James paused, almost dropping the cup in his hand.

Lily huffed and grabbed ladle, pouring one herself.

Sirius and James both watched as she filled it to the brim.

"What?" She frowned at their shocked gazes, "I'm gonna need it to get through spending the evening with Aubrey."

"I could hex him for you if you like?" James offered, "Something so he needs to go to the hospital wing and miss out on the rest of the ball?"

Lily bit down a smile and shook her head, "No, thanks."

"Well, cheers", James held his own cup up.

"Cheers", Lily clinked hers.

They lingered there, smiling at each other, for a moment.

[eggyrocks]

EGGNOG & MISTLETOE

happy holidays @nowoyas i’m your secret santa and this is for you <3 part of the hq x reader secret santa organized by @lale-txt

tags/warnings: nishinoya x gn reader, holiday party, mentions of alcohol, jealousy

word count: 1.1k

Nishinoya’s stomach is churning. He keeps telling himself it’s because of the rum-spiked eggnog Tanaka insisted he drink, and not because of the way you’re looking at Kuroo Tetsuro.

He came to this party for you, put on this itchy holiday sweater for you, and he’s really trying not to be upset over the fact that he’s not here with you. That instead of you staying glued to his side all night, you’re smiling eagerly as Kuroo regales you with tales of his fancy office job, or whatever.

And really, he knows that he shouldn’t be this jealous. He couldn’t even recall the last time you’d seen Kuroo, and it’s not like you ever talk about him, so he shouldn’t have anything to worry about, if he’s been honest with himself. But it just irks him, seeing you smile at someone else like that. It should be him. That’s really all Nishinoya is able to think about as he watches the scene play out before him.

It should be him.

It gets too hot there, standing there with his spiked eggnog and his stuffy red sweater. And then, Nishinoya has to watch as you giggle at something Kuroo says, and it becomes too much. He suddenly, very desperately needs some air. He deposits the half-full cup of eggnog in the trash and makes his way towards the back of the house, sneaking out the backdoor.

What Nishinoya doesn’t see though, is how your eyes follow him. The second he breaks away from the crowd, your eyes follow him, and Kuroo becomes an after-thought.

Nishinoya opens and closes the door behind him and takes a seat on the step. It’s cold, but he appreciates it. His face is red, and his thoughts are spinning. He tries to calm them, attempting to conjure up images of anything other than you and Kuroo. But it’s not working; he squeezes his eyes shut and sees yours squinted up in a delighted smile at Kuroo’s words.

He groans. He knows he doesn’t have a right to be jealous. He knows you can talk to Kuroo all you want. Despite his wishes, you’re not his, so there’s nothing he can really say. And it sort of just feels like shit, for him.

Nishinoya’s in the middle of these agonized thoughts when the door opens and closes behind him once again. His head turns to see you, and his mouth pops open slightly in surprise. “What are you doing out here?” he asks, watching as you take a seat beside him.

You sit, the side of your thigh brushing against his. “Saw you coming out here, figured I’d join you. Why are you out here?”  

He shrugs. “I just needed a breather, I guess,” he admits. And it’s true. Thirty more seconds of witnessing the scene before him and he might’ve snapped, intervened when he shouldn’t’ve.

“That doesn’t sound like you,” you remark, and he has to agree. Normally he’d be chugging that god-awful eggnog along with Tanaka and signing along horribly to some old Christmas song. Of course you’d notice. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Nishinoya says. “Just thinking. It’s hot in there, so the cold’s nice.”

“Hmm,” you muse, rubbing your hands together. Nishinoya watches them, and thinks they might be cold. He has this impulse to grab them and hold them in his own. “I missed you. I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you all night.”

His heart thumps a bit harder at this. “Yeah, I know. Kuroo’s hogging you, the dick.”

You snort, and you drop your head down to rest it on his shoulder. And Nishinoya takes this a sign. He reaches over, and places one of his hands on top of yours. They’re cold to the touch, and he hopes you’ll appreciate the warmth. You guys are close, he figures, it won’t seem so out of place.

“Well, you know,” you say, eyes dropping to your hands, “I’d much rather be spending my time with you, anyways.”

And at once, Nishinoya’s mood spins around, and he suddenly can’t help but puff up his chest a bit in pride. “Really?” he questions.

“Of course,” you say, pulling away your head to look him in the eye. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my time with.”

And Nishinoya hears you, but all he can focus on is how close you are. His eyes scan over the details of your face, from the curve of your mouth to the way your eyes sparkle in the light that emits from the house. And he’s always known that he’s loved you, but he really feels it then. He feels it with his whole chest. He loves you, and he wants to kiss you. He wants it more than anything.

“Yeah,” he says, though it feels awkward coming out of his mouth. His throat feels dry, all of the sudden. “I feel the same.”

There’s a slight smile on your face that makes Nishinoya feel like there’s something erupting inside of him. He wants to kiss you. He thinks he’s going to kiss you.

And then, the door slams open behind the two of you. Nishinoya jumps.

Tanaka is standing there, body language sloppy and leaning against the door frame. “Oh, there you two are,” he slurs, obviously drunk off of his own creation. He holds up on hand, and Nishinoya’s gut drops at the sight of a bundle of mistletoe pinched between his fingers. “Been looking for you everywhere, now you gotta kiss.”

Nishinoya reaches out and swats at his shins. “Man, fuck off,” he says, though there’s no bite in his voice.

“No,” Tanaka insists. “You guys gotta kiss, those are the rules.”

You tug at Nishinoya’s hand, and he turns his head back to look at you. You lean in, and place a soft, warm kiss on his cheek. It lingers there for a second, and Nishinoya can’t help when both his jaw drops. He thinks his chest might burst.

You pull away and smile at him, before turning to Tanaka. “There, you happy?”

“Mistletoe rules have been satisfied. Now come back in, we’re doing karaoke, and I need my duet partner, man.”

Nishinoya groans, but you stand, encouraging him to follow by interlocking your fingers with him and tugging him to his feet. “C’mon,” you tell him with a soft smile, “we can talk more later.”

He follows, and delights in the way you never let go of his hand in the process. Nishinoya stares at your interlocked hands, and grins.

And later in the night, after his duet with Tanaka and several more drinks of that horrible eggnog, he finds a confused Kuroo, and proudly declares that he won.

happy holidays y'all <3

[giggly-squiggily]

Making It A Big Deal (Blue Lock)

Okay listen- I know I said I wasn't planning on writing anything this week, and normally I don't write character birthday fics (on their actual birthdays) cause your girl can't remember them half the time- but it's CHIGIRI! My literal son- my darling boy; my precious baby! I had to! Anyway happy Birthday Chigiri Hyoma! (December 23)

Summary: Chigiri fails to mention it's his birthday. His friends find out anyway.

Chigiri knew what was coming when he came in after his evening bath.

“Get his ass.” Barou growled.

He just didn’t think it would actually happen.

“Whoa- what? AH!” The redhead tried to run, but his exit was quickly blocked by Reo. Seconds later, he was ambushed, hurdled in by bodies as he was picked up and tossed gently onto the nearest bed. “Wait, wait, hold on- what’s happening?”

“You son of a biscuit eating bulldog!” Isagi growled, yet his eyes and smile betrayed any real anger. “Just how long were you planning on keeping today a secret?”

Huh? What- oh. Chigiri averted his gaze, cheeks warming up at being caught. “Uh..”

“Aha! You weren’t planning on telling us at all, were you?” Bachira cried, poking an accusatory finger into his cheek. “How cruel of you, Missy.”

“I’d say! Why wouldn’t you tell us today was your birthday?” Reo demanded from his spot overhead, pulling Chigiri’s arms up. “If I knew, I would have planned something! You know I’m really good at planning things. Even your introverted ass would have liked it!”

“It’s not really a big deal-”

“Not a big deal?” A chorus of voices cried out. Even Nagi sounded shocked at such a statement. “Dude, it’s your freaking birthday! You’re turning- hey how old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Seventeen! Dancing queen!” Isagi exclaimed, the rest of the boys around him nodding in solemn agreement. “You gotta feel the beat on the tambourine!”

“What…?” Chigiri blinked, suddenly lost. Nagi tsked, clicking his tongue.

“This is a hassle. Let’s tickle him.”

“Yeah!” A chorus of cheers drowned out Chigiri’s “Wait!” Before long the redhead was a mess, squirming the best he could with several hands on him. Isagi and Bachira poked and prodded at his ribs as Barou squeezed his thighs. Nagi snuck a few lazy fingers into his neck while Reo pinned his wrists with his knees, tracing his biceps with featherlike touches.

“Cohohoohohme ohohohohohon! Aheahhahahaha, thhiihihis is buhuhuhuhllshihihihihihit!” Chigiri pleaded through his squeaky giggles and laughs, trying to hide his face in his arm with little coverage. “Lehehehhet me uhuhuhuhp, my hahahahair’s stihihihill wehehehehehhet! Aheahhahahahaha!”

“It’ll dry by the time we’re done. Think of it as a new hairstyle- the tickle-tousled!” Isagi told him sweetly, playing his ribs like a piano. “Wouldn’t that look nice, Bachira?”

“Oo, I like it! Of course, Missy looks pretty in just about anything.” The dribbler agreed, digging a thumb into Chigiri’s hip and earning a squeal. “Oo, bad spot?”

“Nah, this is!” Barou called from behind, worming a few fingers behind both of Chigiri’s knees, mindful of his injury. “This’ll teach you for being such a brat!”

“It’s his birthday- let him be bratty.” Reo chided with a snicker, clawing at the redhead’s armpits and making him scream. “We can use it as a reason to keep tickling him.”

“Say Happy Birthday, princess.” Nagi gave up on tickling his neck in favor of taking a group selfie, making sure to get everyone’s smiling face in frame. “This one’s for the books.”

“Nohohohoho, dohohohohn’t tahhahake pihihihctuuuhuhuhres! Aheahhahaha, pleaheehahhahase!” Chigiri begged, lungs starting to ache from how hard he was laughing. His face felt so hot he swore steam must have been rising from it, yet he couldn’t say he wasn’t having fun. His birthday being so close to Christmas oftentimes meant a small yet quick celebration between preparing for friends and family visits. To have such attention on it was a rare yet incredibly pleasant experience.

“Hehe, okay okay- let’s give the birthday boy a breather, yeah? Can’t have him die before he’s old enough to drink.” Isagi signaled for everyone to stop, gifting the redhead much needed air. Chigiri hugged himself as he curled into a loose ball, giggling against the pillow as his friends laughed and cooed at him. “King- did you get it?”

“Of course I did, donkey. Who the hell do you think I am?” Chigiri didn’t know what “It” was- he was far too focused on the feeling of Bachira gently combing fingers through his hair, undoing any tangles. Reo and Nagi eased him into a sitting position to find..

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” They chorused, singing off-key while a convenience store cake sat before him. On top of it was a slightly melted ‘17’, the flame dancing gently at the tip. “Happy birthday, dear Hyoma! Happy birthday to you!” They cheered, and Chigiri suddenly felt like crying for all the right reasons.

“Quick, blow the candle out before Ego-sensei finds out!” Bachira encouraged, earning a wet laugh from the redhead as he did just that. A series of spoons came next as they dug in, taking bites and bantering about with one another.

“Did you make a wish?” Nagi asked from his left, voice soft against the rest of their friend’s chatter. “Don’t tell me- it won’t come true if you say it outloud.”

“I did.” Chigiri nodded around his spoon, smiling when Reo threw an arm around him from his right. “I don’t need to worry about that- it already came true.”

“Awwww!” They chorused obnoxiously, making him blush and laugh in his hands.

He was so, so grateful to have friends like this.

Thanks for reading! :D

[robintheoriedbyler]

Wouldn’t it be so much better if Milevens could just accept Mike, Will and El in a stand alone point of view.

Mike: He is a complex character who doesn’t understand himself, being in a relationship that is only based on kissing and not understanding each other. This honestly just makes his character spiral because he’s giving too much to El and not caring about his own well being.

Will: A character who has been through so much shit and doesn’t deserve the hate he gets just because of being in the middle of a “ship”. He is also a character that needs a development, he needs to know that he can be loved and deserved for who he is.

El: She is a strong powerful wonderful person who needs to learn about the world and her situation around her before getting into a relationship. She should be having the normal human experience first before involving herself in something so serious.

Basically what I’m trying to say is Mileven doesn’t make sense, it does not balance out and it’s just bringing them down as a whole and Will GET OFF HIS CASE ALREADY, let’s be real if Will wasn’t there Mileven wouldn’t exist because Mike needs his “bestfriend” to calm him down and say it’s okay to tell your gf you love her.

Anyways. BYLER NATION AND PLUTONIC MILEVEN WE CHEERED.

[peak-dumbass]

*emerges from the fog* have you heard of my boy called sideswipe he suffers from little bitch syndrome and unresolved trauma he refuses to talk about

I also think he’s aroace—*gets shot*

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[anna-scribbles]

h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

[edwinisms]

see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept

[autopsytableromance]

Evan kelmp man that you are ……………..

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[pilonciillo]

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

[teethbomb]

mob psycho(logical horror) 100

[apathyfairy]

i always said that once i stop caring what other people think about me it’s over for you bitches and it’s finally happened i’m literally untouchable

[decembermoonskz]

update on flirty idiot that I may have a mini crush on bc I can