#i hope this thing is coherent

[neilarmstrongssmile]

Ok, I need to talk about it. The Five x Lila thing is uncomfortable and kinda gross to me. But mabye I'm not seeing the vision/my discomfort is not the reason it's a bad idea necesarilly. So... here are some reasons besides that on why it's just a bad idea:

1. Why give Five a love story at all? He had a love story, has had it the whole show - love for his family. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve romantic love (with an actual human), but knowing it's the last season and knowing they have only 6 eposodes mabye don't? Introducing the romance in the second to last episode? And developing it through a montague? It's not enough time

2. What's the purpose of the subway station to the story? The only characters on it are Five and Lila (later also Lila's family + Claire), they don't accomplish anything with it, don't find anything useful, don't learn anything new. It's an excuse to have them get lost there, so that they could fall in love. IT'S THE LAST SEASON! Don't waste a cool location like that! Why didn't other characters get there? Why didn't they get Bennifer there and put Ben on one train and Jennifer on another while they think of another permanent safe solution? Use the subway station for actual plot or get rid of it - and that way we don't have the out-of-character falling in love crap

3. Ok, thay are lost, it's been years, they are loosing hope, they are clinging to the only other real thing. There's no guilt? No talk of Diego, Lila's children? There's no false start? They just kiss, remark it's not weird and live idyllicly together? I don't need depressing scenes of them crying for their family and hating themselves for being together, but what we got was not a relationship created by necessity but a normal falling in love story as if Lila isn't MARRIED CURRENTLY to Five's BROTHER! There should be some weirdness, some discussion of what exactly their relationship is, what would happen if they managed to come back. It's inconsistent (with previous characterisation but that's another thing) - are they genuinly in love, or using each other? Is Lila trully happy and in love, or pretending, while being desperate to come back to reality with Diego and her kids? They seem really in love, but after Five finally (5 months!?!?? WTF that's gross) shows Lila the notebook and she leaves she makes it seem as if she's choosing Diego and her marriage. But then she cannot answer 'Do you love him?', gives Five longing glances, is holding his hand... I know that she could be confused and unsure but it doesn't seem as if she doesn't know, it seems like she acts in the way for all the scenes to be dramatic even if it contradicts what happened previously.

4. So they manage to go back, Lila doesn't immedietly confess to Diego, and when the truth comes out Five is mad? He is in the wrong! He went after his brother's wife, he should be apologetic, he should feel weird to be in Diego's home, not combative. Yeah, your love life is complicated and not everything is roses after your return but it's on you YOU WENT AFTER A MARRIED WOMAN! WITH KIDS! And you're mad at her husband for being mad at you? No, he should be ashamed. And ok, get mad later, say that you were finally happy, and now it's gone, scream it at Lila or Diego, but not from the get go. That makes him seem like such a scumbag .

5. You wanted Five to have a romance. In my opinion unnecessary, but do you. You wanted it to be with Lila. In my opinion very weird choice, but sure. Why have Lila and Diego married? We have a 6 year time skip. They could have been just co-parenting and no longer together (and never married). Why make a subplot where Diego thinks Lila is cheating on him (as a joke) to then make it a reality? Why not have Diego and Lila have this season to grow close as friends and co-parent as a unit after years of conflict and have Diego be supportive of this weird incestuous relationship? (TUA unfortunately is no stranger to that, and UA already has weird and complicated relationships all around) instead of falling apart in such a fashion? IT'S THE LAST SEASON at the very least have all our main characters go out without conflict with each other. Five's lat words to Diego were 'I'm gonna kill you'.

It seems they made this whole thing as messy as possible, but then didn't dive deep into the mess to have some actual drama, didn't adress the mess, didn't vindicate any of those characters. And if you're just creating mess and don't engage with it, and it's THE LAST SEASON mabye you should've just left it alone - Lila and Diego together and happy, and Five doing everything to be with his family, safe. I'm dissapointed.

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[alicornze7]

Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]

@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent

My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')

Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)

Well maybe it's not the only difference

[sluttypatrickstar]

[celestialworlds]

sometimes i have byler doubt (scarred by voltron) until i realize the duffers went to one of the best film schools in the united states and know damn well how to make everything obvious but not obvious.

everything in that show is hidden under a thick layer of subtext, just like how will's sexuality was built up from season one to season 4 using basically ONLY subtext and trusting people could see what was happening. that's why i think some people get so worked up about people pointing out stuff about mike's storyline. because they're not paying attention to the subtext. it's not supposed to be in your face. the whole point of subtext is to read into it

the duffers have previously said they dont like anything to be "too on the nose," which is exactly, almost by definition, what subtext helps get rid of. it's supposed to be up in the air because its not in your face. you're supposed to ask questions. that's what makes the reveal of it so fun, and why the show garners so many viewers despite its wicked gap between seasons.

they also love trope subversions:

— the first victim trope: the first person to die in a horror film is usually the "hot one" or the "sexually promiscuous" one to "punish them" in a sense, stranger things subverts this trope by instead having nancy live, and barb die. (not saying barb's ugly shes a beautiful woman)

— the final girl trope: the final girl in horror is usually the one who somehow makes it out alive despite not really being a fighter, being innocent and essentially using whatever they have to fend off the "bad guy". stranger things subverts this trope by explicitly making nancy confrontational, a fighter and just a badass overall.

— the madman in the asylum: subverted the trope of the "bad guy" in the asylum being the villain by instead making victor creel wholly and completely innocent. he's there not because of his own doing, but of his son's.

anyways, i think its kind of expected to doubt it, actually. you're supposed to expect one thing and then be absolutely shocked when that gets flipped on its head. but i could be wrong so who knows!

all i know is that at this point almost everyone is supposed to be empathizing with will, and we know the painting lie pays off in season 5. i don't think they can easily backpedal with will's feelings this late into the series, and even if they wanted to theyve backed themselves into a very cramped corner by making will say that he needs mike and he always will. he's not going to just move on. its mike or nothing for him, and i don't think the duffers are going to pretty much break the one character theyve consistently put through hell and back every single season.

for all my non film major friends on here <3 this is what subtext is and how it works in the narrative

[roguekaiju]

Long post incoming, but I've been thinking about the two quotes at the start of the Conclave novel and how they tie in with the end

"I thought it wiser to not eat with the cardinals. I ate in my room. At the eleventh ballot I was elected Pope. O Jesus, I too can say what Pius XII said when he was elected: 'Have mercy on me, Lord, according to thy great mercy.' One would say it is like a dream and yet, until I die, it is the most solemn reality of all my life. So I'm ready, Lord, 'to live and die with you.' About three hundred thousand people applauded me on St. Peter's balcony. The arc-lights stopped me from seeing anything other than a shapeless, heaving mass." -Pope John XXIII, diary entry, 28 Oct 1958.

"I was solitary before, but now my solitariness becomes complete and awesome. Hence the dizziness, like vertigo. Like a statue on a plinth-that is how I live now." -Pope Paul VI.

The ending of Conclave is ultimately a hopeful one. They've chosen a candidate in Vincent that can lead them into the future, who cares not just about The Church, but about the faith and about the people. He's the right choice, the best choice.

But it's also a deeply tragic choice.

Being selected for the papacy is inherently tragic, the novel makes a point to tell us this. Lawrence/Lomeil understands this, he even talks about how whoever is elected will never be able to browse a bookstore or sit at a cafe. Bellini, I think, understands this, but he still has ambitions, it's a necessary sacrifice for him. Vincent has no ambitions and also explicitly says he thinks his papacy would be a bad idea, but I also don't think he ever thought it would be him until it was. Tedesco, Trembley, and Adeyemi, they only see it for what they can gain/impose.

There's also the way it warps and changes you. It's not mentioned as much in the movie, but the book makes it clear that at the end the role had taken its toll on the late Pope. At the end of one of the bank statements of the College, he had written a part of St. Mark's Gospel: "Is it not written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations'? But you have made a den of robbers." In the end, he had next to no one he could truly trust or rely on, he was paranoid, he had eyes on everyone, he was frantically trying to weed out corruption before the end almost entirely on his own. He was on that plinth, he couldn't see anything other than the shapeless mass.

And now, the ending. If Lawmeli had been chosen by the end, it would've made the story a tragedy, since we can't see in Vincent's head, it leaves the ending hopeful. But there's no getting around that this is a tragedy for Vincent.

He's a man used to hands-on work, being among the people, and now, like in the second quote, he's a statue on the plinth. It's the best choice for them all, except for Vincent. At first I was trying to concede that, how this is tragic for one character but still the ideal ending, but I realized that's the point.

In his first scene, Vincent says, regarding his plans to go back, that he will "face the consequences of my faith, like thousands of others", and that's exactly what happens, just not how he expected. He is prepared to be made a martyr for his faith if he has to, and he is.

It's a hopeful ending and it's also a tragedy. A good man is sacrificed for the greater good. It's an echo of the story that the Catholic faith is built on. Jesus dies for humanity's sins, Vincent "dies" and becomes Innocent VIX for the future of the faith.

The consequence of his faith is the papacy. And he faces it and he accepts it.

[transmagikalgirl]

ok but. a really big theme of illyana's arc in the claremont stuff is that she believes she's too different and can't fit in, even with misfits like the xmen. and her relationship with kitty is so important bc she's basically the first person not to care about any of that and just treat her like a regular, normal girl, right?

kitty's arc in exceptional xmen is that she believes what she needs is to be normal, to do away with all the xmen stuff and just be a regular woman. what she needs (+ a lot of the plot is her getting the early signs of) is things that remind her why she does what she does, that she can be proud of being different and that not fitting in or being with the xmen isnt the curse that the fall of x made it seem

so maybe she could use a talk (and/or sleep with) the woman she helped teach that all those things are okay, and that she could still be in some ways a 'regular girl' despite that?

is all im saying

[erwinsvow]

Listen.....Only fans nurse "accidentally" moaning jack in one of videos and biting her necklace and the next time she see him she says his name so sweetly and bites her necklace just like the video before telling him a patient needs him

ohmygod i blacked out.

you posted the video specially for him, after your shift, taking the time to shower and do your hair and get dolled up despite how tired you were. you like the night shift because it's a little less stressful and the lighting is great during the day for your little side hustle, which had started out as a way to pay off your student loans, and now had earned the attention of your favorite attending.

like it didn't make you feel warm and needy every time he told you good job, or great work. or the thank you, sweetheart, you get when do that thing he loves, reading his mind and getting something ready before he asks for it.

what can you say? you're good at your job. both of them.

and jack is incredibly smart, very handsome, brilliant at his job. but he's still an old man—not that you'd ever tell him you liked older men anyways. you're sure he's overheard your conversations with the other nurses, how they ask why you're single or why you keep turning down that paramedic, or why you won't go on a date with the son of a radiology tech who keeps bringing it up. her son is cute, single, and an engineer, apparently. but you don't care, you explain, see, you like your men a little more mature.

jack abbot is in an uncannily cheery mood for the rest of the shift.

and so, the little game of cat and mouse continues. you post the video—on your bed, in a nightie that gets half-way removed, and not using anything but your fingers—because jack abbot is traditional. you can tell. he'd probably be angry if you brought a toy into his bed, he'd probably try to explain that just because other boys your age are lazy, doesn't mean that he is. and then you think—well, you fantasize, but it's only a fantasy for now, since it'll come to fruition soon enough—that he would show you that when you're with him, you don't need a toy. you don't need anything, nothing except him, his fingers, his mouth, his dick.

well, at least that's what you think about while you make the video. and at some point, you think about those dog tags you've seen him wear—that one time he got blood all over his scrubs and had to take the scrub top off so he could gown up. you had seen them over his white undershirt, and since that day, you'd wondered what it felt like to have them dangle near your mouth while he did whatever he wanted to you. you know what you'd do—bite them, use it to bring him in closer so you could kiss him.

and that's what you do with your own little necklace, biting down hard, moving your face down an inch so he could see it whenever he watched this video, which by your approximation, might be right before his shift tonight.

your shift tonight.

filmed, edited, uploaded, and then you go to bed. wake up, get ready, and head to work for your night shift.

and as soon as you walk through the door, you see him, looking like he always does—tense, stressed out, ready to go. you smile at him, and about fifteen minutes later, the charge nurse tells you to go find dr. abbot for the incoming, and you comply, heading over to him smiling brightly and putting that necklace between your lips while you hand him a gown and gloves.

"did you have a good morning, dr. abbot?" you ask. idle small talk in the ambulance bay.

"i had a great morning," he starts, before leaning in. "you had a better one, though, huh?"

still smiling, still biting.

"we'll talk about it after the shift," he says and he walks towards the sirens, and like always, you follow.

[0ann3]

"It's been a long time, hasn't it friends?"

"Or maybe our last meeting was only yesterday for you-"

[just a heads up but I got a whole lot of text below for some thoughts/ramblings and headcanons of the event lolol]

Ngl, I was kinda expecting that he's dead since he did give off some vibes that he's from a distant past

But I was still hoping that I was wrong and maybe he's really just from a distant or isolated island, and he'll pop up at the end of the story as one of the visitors during the Halloween event KAJSHDAKSLDJH

That or maybe he got reincarnated

The idea of Skully as one of the ghosts in Ramshackle is so nice and sad at the same time though. Like imagine if he's just hovering around the academy for years and then after some centuries or so he senses some sort of familiarity with certain students and just watches over them. Then when Yu came around he got the urge to protect them and stick around them the most.

So maybe when the students got suck into the book he also got dragged into it and he gets to see his younger self and the whole event that happened as a ghost, which is why when they finally got to leave he gets to remember the whole thing. Then he kisses everyone like he did the first time around as another greeting because he finally knows why they felt familiar! (Although they don't remember he doesn't mind-)

And he did it as a 'it's nice to meet you in the real world this time' kind of thing

...

Anyway

This is why I might try to be on a lookout for some Oc x Skully or Yu x Skully because I think it has so many potential and possibilities with this ending (Reincarnation AU? AU where Skully is a ghost in Ramshackle who's looking out for Yu and is the one who protects them, which is why they leave fights unscathed while everyone just thinks they're lucky? Modern AU or one when they meet once Yu is able to return home from Twisted Wonderland?????) 😭😭😭 His ending was kinda bittersweet ok, I want to see things turning out in a happier note

[hauntingofhouses]

We all already know Mizu and Akemi are narrative foils. But you know what? Lemme just say it, here's what I think:

Taigen and Mikio are foils.

Not necessarily to each other as individuals in the way that Mizu and Akemi juxtapose each other, but mostly in the contrast between their relationships with Mizu.

I've covered specific parallels between Taigen and Mikio in other posts I wrote; but as the number of parallels I'm noticing between them keeps piling up, I'm compelled to just compile them all in one post. So! This is, thus, the post in question.

First of all, let's look at their similarities.

1. Their status in society is the same. They are both samurai who lost their honour and have dreams of reclaiming it.

2. They are also both diligent as they strive to achieve this goal, they both care deeply about their work, but here as they begin to contrast, as the work in question and way they go about their goals is different:

For Mikio, his work is in taming and rearing horses; in order to prove himself, he must tame Kai—a willful and strong horse—and present it to his lord. For Taigen, his work is in sword fighting and martial arts; in order to prove himself, he must kill Mizu—a willful and strong swordsman—and present her dead body to his lord.

In the parallel above, not only are Taigen and Mikio contrasting each other, but Mizu and Kai are placed in comparison as well. And of course, Kai is Mizu's horse, and represents her. Which is why, when later, Mikio sells Kai off, it represents the way he is tossing Mizu (and their relationship) aside.

From there, the rest of the details of their character begin to contrast and juxtapose each other more clearly. So let's look at those differences, shall we?

Their backstory:

Mikio was a great samurai who was banished. A somebody to a nobody. Taigen was a fisherman’s son who rose to the top. A nobody to a somebody.

2. The first time we meet them on-screen:

Mikio is an adult. An older man. Mizu's superior in age. He is Mizu's to-be husband. A love interest. Taigen is a child. A young boy. Mizu's peer in age. He is Mizu's bully. An antagonist.

3. Their maturity and growth:

Mikio is mature, but stuck in his ways. Taigen is immature, but capable of changing and learning.

4. Their overall attitude:

Mikio is generally relaxed, easy-going and unfussy. Taigen is uptight, irritable and severe.

5. How they talk to and conduct themselves around Mizu:

Mikio is aloof, soft-spoken, and serious. Taigen is obnoxious, brash, and sarcastic. Mikio is quiet, speaking only when spoken to, even when Mizu turns to smile at him and shows openness to be near him. Taigen is loud, talking while others are silent, even when Mizu turns from him and shows no interest in conversing with him.

Mikio doesn't show much of who he is to Mizu throughout their marriage, despite their growing affection. Taigen openly shares his traumas and life story to Mizu during their brief alliance, despite their mutual antagonism.

6. Their external vs internal selves:

Mikio is calm, gentle, and considerate on the outside. Taigen is hot-headed, rude, and selfish on the outside. Mikio is cowardly and deceitful on the inside. Taigen is brave and loyal to a fault on the inside. Mikio tells Mizu that he wants to know and see all of her. But he scorns and betrays her, the woman he loves. Taigen tells Mizu that he wants to duel and kill him. But he endures torture to not betray him, the man he hates.

9. Their hair, a symbol of their honour:

Mikio's topknot is untied by Mizu during their spar. This humiliation occurs in private, the two of them alone in a rural location where no one can see them. Taigen's topknot is cut off by Mizu during their duel. This humiliation occurs in public, the two of them being watched by many others in the Shindo Dojo.

10. Their power dynamic with Mizu:

Mikio believes he is Mizu's mentor. He teaches her to throw knives, how to ride and care for horses, and about the tactical benefits of using a naginata. Taigen believes he is Mizu's equal. He views Mizu as a samurai like himself who received all the same teachings he did, and who possesses the same values.

11. Their perceptions of Mizu:

Mikio sees Mizu's feminine side first. He sees her as sweet and gentle, but also clumsy and incompetent. Taigen sees Mizu's masculine side first. He sees her as terrifying and deadly, but also strong and skilled.

12. The way they approach sparring with Mizu:

Mikio only spars with Mizu once. As the fight progresses and she is beating him, he tries to put a stop to it. When she teases/provokes him, he starts taking the fight personally and seriously, finding no enjoyment in it. Taigen spars and brawls with Mizu all the time. No matter how many times Mizu beats him, he doesn't back down. When Mizu challenges him with a chopstick, he is eager to compete with her and gladly rises up to the challenge.

Mikio and Mizu's one and only spar is a friendly match; Mizu is smiling and having fun while he grows increasingly frustrated. Taigen and Mizu's last-seen spar is a playful wrestling match; both him and Mizu are having fun and laughing.

Mikio cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, so he scorns her and walks off, avoiding her thereafter. When Taigen cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, he follows her to observe her moves and continues training in hopes to eventually beat her. After being bested by Mizu once, Mikio leaves her and sells the horse he'd previously gifted to her. After many times losing to Mizu and fighting alongside her, Taigen commends her and admits she is better than him.

13. When Mizu pins them down in a friendly spar:

Mikio sees Mizu's whole face objectively. Taigen stares at Mizu's mouth and eyes.

Mikio gets angry when she kisses him, throwing her off of him and snapping at her, calling her a monster. Taigen gets aroused, apologising, so she pulls herself off of him.

14. Mizu's blue meteorite sword is a reflection of her soul. She believes most are undeserving to face it, let alone hold it. And on that note:

Mikio is the first person (chronologically) that Mizu fights against using her sword. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) that Mizu fights against with her sword. Mikio is the first person (chronologically) to ever hold her sword, as she passes it to him, letting him wield it. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) to ever hold her sword, as she passes out, and he picks it up and carries it for her.

15. Then, last but not least, in Fowler's fortress, when she is drugged and in pain, she hears Ringo's voice in the dungeon. She then follows it to an open cell:

Mizu first sees Mikio as a hallucination, the sight of him haunting her and causing her to lose her grip on reality. Her eyes glow a surreal blue to represent this. Her Mama appears then and says Mizu's name accusingly.

Mizu then sees Taigen, but he is real, the sight of him a relief and grounding her back to reality. Her eyes return to their normal blue colour to represent this. Taigen looks at Mizu weakly and says her name softly.

Then, later, when facing Fowler, her revenge awaiting her, she instead chooses to follow her conscience (represented by Ringo's voice in her mind), putting aside her vengeance for a time, in order to save Taigen.

So that's basically all the ones I've noticed so far, but even then, I feel there's already so much that forms a contrast between these two.

What makes it especially incredible about these juxtapositions is that Mikio was Mizu's husband, the man she had fallen in love with, the one person she had ever been intimate with, the man who made her begin to accept herself, to put down her desire for vengeance and instead live a life of peace and happiness.

So for Taigen to have so many parallels with him... Do you see what I'm saying here!

Not to mention that Mizu clearly already has some burgeoning attraction to him, as indicated by how she thinks of him when asked about her desires. And Taigen clearly has shown interest as well (see: him getting a boner after their spar, him holding her hand and telling her, "We're not done yet.").

And on the topic of speculating future possibilities of this relationship, this post by @stromblessed has pointed out yet another parallel between Taigen and Mikio:

Mizu promises Taigen to meet him for their duel in autumn. Mizu fell in love with Mikio and duelled him during autumn.

With all that said, I do believe Mizu and Taigen's relationship is definitely hurtling towards something. But whether they will actually end up together in a sustainable relationship and have a happily ever after? Well, that is a whole other story; we'll just have to wait and see.

[temtamtom]

Please ignore the fact I accidentally posted this and then deleted it okay anyways

These two have had a myriad of personal conflicts over the years. They had a difficult relationship as children and then spent the rest of their adolescence and early adulthood separately. They interacted, of course, and they saw each other as brothers, but that was it. We are related by blood, but I don’t see you as FAMILY family. If that makes sense. But if I had to pick their biggest fight, it would be:

Tl;Dr: Emotions were running high and unchecked after Italian unification, leading to a blow-out fight when Romano announced that he was moving to America for a little while.

I need to provide some context and explain my headcanons, so this might be a long one kjdfgk I hope it makes sense! Also, a warning because my Feli isn't all that canon-compliant ;; but I think he's a bit more accurate to the northern attitudes of the time

There's a common headcanon within the fandom that Romano was entirely against unification and resisted it from the start. I think this is a bit of an inaccurate and an over-simplified perspective. By the early and mid 1800s, there were many instances of uprisings against absolutism in Southern Italy, which strove for more liberal ideals. The revolutionaries wanted a constitutional monarchy, or even a republic. Through their uprisings and the creation of a secret, revolutionary network across the peninsula, revolutionary ideals began to spread throughout and inspire others.

This is of course a gross oversimplification of the history, but I’m bringing this all up to illustrate the idea that Romano was starting to grow tired of the “status quo”, and was desperate for a change. Unification wasn’t necessarily what he had in mind at first, especially when we consider that he and Feliciano were pretty distant at this point in time. However he soon got swept up in the fervor and optimism of the patriots, and he began to believe in their vision. He believed in a future where he could finally be truly independent- free to call the shots and live his life freely without the worry of being tossed around and claimed by other European powers. He believed in a future where, maybe, he could have a family again. To fix what was broken between him and Feliciano. Romano may come across as quite crude, but he’s a very passionate man. Someone who loves and craves so deeply, to the point where his heart/imagination can far outrun him.

So imagine the betrayal felt when he realized that unification wasn’t working in his favour. He was practically discarded, and seen as “lesser than” his northern brother. His brother, who treated him as an oddity, and had an air of moral superiority over Romano. They kept each other at arm's length, as though they were roommates forced to endure the other, rather than two brothers sharing a home. Disillusioned and hurt, Romano felt like a fool for believing in a dream that didn’t come true. 

Feliciano struggled with many emotional grievances, which Romano wasn’t privy to. He lost his long-time husband/partner just a few decades prior, and instead of taking the time to confront the grief, he picked himself back up and turned his attention towards independence and unification. He threw himself head first into uprisings, wars, political negotiations, and rallies- all to achieve this patriotic goal of forming “Italy”, and perhaps to distract himself from the loss (though he won’t admit it). He also thought, maybe foolishly, that his life would get better after unifying with his brother. That he would have a family again, that he wouldn’t feel so alone, that he would love and be loved and they could hold hands and skip happily into a field of sunshine and rainbows and everything would be okay– 

What should have brought them together, they both realized, seemed to drive a deeper wedge between them. The reality was that they were incompatible. They couldn’t stand each other. To Feliciano, Romano was nothing but an uncivilized brute who only complained and never wanted to work, and lived to insult him every day. To Romano, Feliciano was a pompous, stuck-up elite asshole who refused to acknowledge the very real pain and disillusionment of his new, southern citizens. Both brothers felt as though everything- all the blood, sweat, and tears- was just a massive waste.

As you can imagine, it was a VERY tense and unhappy household for many reasons. They began to argue. A LOT. Fights that were far uglier than the scraps they had as children. It got to a point where they couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as each other.

It all came to a head, however, when Romano announced that he was leaving. He had his motives, reasonable ones too, but Feliciano didn’t see that. All he saw was his no-good, lazy brother abandoning him and their country after all the effort they put into creating it, leaving him with all the stress and work while he galavants off to America. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The announcement devolved into an explosive fight. Things were said that, to this day, haven’t been fully forgiven. With all the anger and tension, they probably threw in a few good punches as well. Romano eventually left, and Feliciano thought to himself “Good riddance”. However as time wore on, they couldn’t help but think about the other, wonder how they were doing, and reflect on how they parted ways. 

Things were still a bit tense when Romano returned, and they didn’t acknowledge the fight for a while. However, they began putting a bit more effort into rekindling their relationship. It took some time, and it wasn’t an easy journey, but they’re in a much healthier place now than before. They’re glued at the hip, they share everything, they know every little quirk and detail about the other, and they’ve begun to love each other as family (though teasing and head-butting is a common occurrence). 

If you asked them back then if they would go through unification, they would be incredibly iffy. But if you asked them now, they would likely say yes. They wouldn't trade their brother for anything in the world.

[dandylovesturtles]

havin' all these Splinter and Leo thoughts. augh.

this is partly the fault of @/turtleblogatlast's post about Leo just wanting to make Splinter proud.

post-movie

...

Seven days post-invasion, and Leo is feeling (relatively) pretty good. Sure, he's still on a truly ridiculous amount of painkillers and he can't walk two steps without collapsing, but he's able to stay awake and talk to his family and considering where he thought he would be right about now, well... that's everything.

So yeah, he's feeling pretty good. He just finished his lunch of soup and a protein shake, warm and a little drowsy while he listens to April talk about some of the more ridiculous conspiracy theories that have started spreading on the surface. Donnie's tinkering with one of his smaller inventions while he listens, Mikey is nestled in Raph's lap, and everything is calm and cozy in their makeshift medbay.

And then his dad walks in and says, "I would like to talk to Blue, please. Alone."

And suddenly Leo doesn't feel so good anymore.

"Aha, wait," he says quickly, reaching out and grabbing April's sleeve just before she rises from her chair. "Whatever it is, you can say it in front of everyone, right?"

Splinter shakes his head. "This is a conversation I think it is best we have in private." He makes a shooing motion at the others, and April pulls her sleeve from Leo's fingers with a helpless shrug.

"See ya in a few, Leo," she says, then walks out. The others look from Splinter, to him, then back to Splinter, and one by one they each get up and shuffle out, too, with their own hasty farewells.

Traitors, every single one of them.

The door closes, and Leo finds himself alone with Splinter for the first time since coming back from Staten Island. Or at least, the first time he can remember. He was pretty out of it the first few days; most of what he remembers is muddled and confused. And embarrassing. He cried a lot more than he'd care to admit.

Splinter hops into chair April was sitting in and pulls it closer; he has to stay standing to be anywhere near eye level with Leo. He wishes he could read Splinter's face, but his expression is giving nothing away. Sometimes it's easy to forget he spent a not-insignificant part of his life as an actor, until something like this happens.

Leo decides to speak before he can. Head him off at the pass, or something.

"If you're going to yell at me, just remember my eardrums are already damaged."

Which is true - turns out being 1, too close to an exploding alien spaceship and 2, getting punched in the head repeatedly by an alien very mad about said exploding spaceship is bad for the ears, even when you don't have outer ears like a human. So super loud noises are a bad idea right now, and thus Leo cannot be yelled at. Flawless logic; maybe he can keep using that every time he gets in trouble.

For the first time, his dad's expression shifts, just a little. A deeper frown, a heavier set to his brow.

"You think I came in here to yell at you?"

Leo feels his stomach twist. Does he have to spell it out? "I mean, didn't you? That's usually what kicking everyone else out is leading up to."

"I see..." Splinter is still unreadable, looking a little too intensely at Leo. "And what do you think I want to yell at you about?"

He really does want it spelled out. Leo suddenly realizes that there won't be any yelling because this is his punishment: to admit everything he's done, to speak all his sins for his dad's ears. Lay it all out in his own tongue and show that he understands, really and truly, the depths of his screwups.

Oh, he understands. He understands it so well he may choke on the words.

"...For losing the key," he says finally, and it stings on its way out. He hasn't talked about it since it happened; every time he tries to say anything to the others, they shush him, saying, "It's okay, Leo, everything is fine now."

It's not okay, and everything isn't fine, and this is when he finally hears about it.

Finally, an identifiable emotion on Splinter's face: horror, dawning clear and present. And Leo doesn't understand that, because doesn't Splinter know he lost the key? He was there for that conversation, wasn't he? Leo's memories of that day have grown a little hazy between the drugs and the recovery and the fact that thinking about it for too long makes him go fuzzy around the edges, but he's pretty sure he remembers Splinter being there. He flicked popcorn at Leo's head. He probably should have done more than that; maybe then Leo wouldn't have made such a mess of things.

Splinter doesn't say anything right away, just stares at Leo with that horrified expression, and the silence is so scary that Leo starts filling it without even thinking.

"I was kidding about the whole... not yelling at me thing. I know I deserve it. I mean, I was fooling around, doing what you and Raph told me not to do, and I doomed the whole world doing it! Some leader I am, right? And I know I'm not exactly your favorite son to begin with, and that's fair, because I keep letting you down, but this is definitely my worst screwup to date, and you yell at me when I don't close the fridge door all the way or throw balls around the TV room so why wouldn't you yell at me for destroying the planet, right...?"

His voice peters out at the end, too hoarse to continue. That's the most words he's strung together over the last week, and for the first time he's glad for his injuries, for stopping him from spewing any more embarrassing word vomit just to fill the air.

Splinter is still looking at him with that same horrified expression. If anything, he just looks more upset, which means that Leo at least accomplished his goal.

Leo's waiting for the yelling to start, but when Splinter finally says something, it's, "You think I have a favorite son?" throwing Leo for a loop once again.

"Uh, yeah?" he says, because that's all there is to say. He's always assumed it's Donnie - the "funny one", the one who fixes Splinter's TV when it's broken, and the only one of them likely to get a real job and move out of the house. But even if it's not Donnie, it's gotta be Mikey, or Raph. His brothers are amazing and talented, and all Leo has ever been good at is winning the Lair Games.

Splinter closes his eyes a moment, and when he opens them his face moves back to a more neutral expression. "I do not have a favorite son," he says, firm and serious. "I love all of you just the same."

Leo thinks that can't be true - if it is, he feels bad for the other guys. But he doesn't think he can just say that, so he says, "Yeah, Dad, of course," instead.

Splinter looks a bit crestfallen. "You don't believe me?" he asks, and shoot. Leo has no idea how to respond to that.

"...I know you love us," is what he says. And that's true, it is! He just doesn't know how his dad could like him as much as the others.

Splinter's expression turns sad. He reaches out and lays a furry hand on Leo's arm, careful of his bandages and all the many wires he's hooked to. "You think you doomed the world?"

"I lost the key," Leo repeats. "It was all my fault. It's why I had to..." His voice fumbles over the words, and he revises. "It's why it had to be me."

Splinter's mouth twists. He climbs out of the chair and onto the mattress, careful not to jostle Leo as he settles down on his knees.

"Blue," he says softly, gently palming Leo's face this time. "None of this was your fault."

Leo's stomach twists again. He thought he was being punished, but somehow this is worse.

"Yes it was," he argues. "I lost the key," for the third time, "and... and I ignored the order to retreat, and got Raph captured, and and and, I ignored the guys and tried to force our way into Metro Tower, and it was me who told Donnie to try to fly that stupid ship, and because of me Mikey had to-"

"Leonardo," says Splinter, sharp, and Leo goes silent. His dad looks devastated, but he keeps his hand on Leo's cheek, brushing with his thumb, and for the first time Leo realizes his skin is wet. Splinter sighs heavily, his entire frame seeming to droop with the weight of it.

"Leonardo," he repeats, softly this time. "You did not doom the world."

"But-"

A furry finger on his lip quiets him.

"You did not doom the world," Splinter repeats, once again firm and serious. "You did not take the theft of the key seriously, because you did not know what it was, the threat it represented. But it was the Foot Clan who chose to use that key, fully knowing what evil it would unleash. That is not on you, my son. The responsibility falls squarely on them."

Leo doesn't know how much he can believe that - isn't it their job to stop the Foot Clan? But Splinter looks so sure as he says it, and his hand is still tender on Leo's cheek, and for the first time a little bit of doubt seeps into Leo's heart, telling him that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't all his fault after all.

But still...

"Even if that's true," he says, with heavy emphasis on the if, "everything I did after that-"

"You are young," his dad interrupts. "You are inexperienced. You are learning. And the amount of growth you showed us all, even over just that one day... You shined as brightly as I know you can."

Again, Leo's stomach does a twist - but it's a happier one, this time. Splinter's voice is sincere, leaving no room for doubt, and Leo can almost, almost believe that this is true, that his dad has believed in him from the very beginning. Has seen something in him, whatever it was that led him to make Leo the leader, that lead to him putting trust in Leo.

He just wishes he felt like he'd done more to earn it.

"You did not doom the world," says his dad again. "You saved it. But, it never should have been like that to begin with. You should never have been facing down such a fierce foe so young, especially as alone as you boys were. And you-"

His voice becomes choked up, and Leo's heart lurches.

"You... sacrificed yourself to save us all. I... I am your father, and I... could not protect you."

He's crying. His dad is crying, and Leo feels panic, reaching out to try and stop this.

"Dad-"

"No." Splinter holds up a hand, giving his head a hard shake. "All I ever wanted for you boys was to save you from the sacrifices asked of our family. And yet I could not - and for that, you paid dearly. You almost paid the ultimate price, and we almost lost you forever."

A thick knot forms in Leo's throat, and he can barely get out, "I'm okay, Dad, I'm here."

"Yes you are." Splinter squeezes his shoulder desperately. "You are here. You are safe. But that doesn't change that it should not have been you to begin with."

Leo watches in dawning horror as Splinter steps back, then kneels over on the mattress.

"This is why I came in here, Blue. Not to yell at you. To apologize."

He presses his forehead against the sheets.

"I am so sorry that I could not protect you."

He's crying. So is Leo, openly now. He reaches out for his dad, fumbling for his shoulders and urging him to straighten up.

"No, Dad... This wasn't your fault!"

"But-"

"No! It was just... it was just a really, really shitty thing that happened, okay? It was the Foot Clan, and the Krang, but it wasn't- it wasn't..."

Splinter raises his face and looks at him, and suddenly the words he's been trying to get Leo to believe for the last several minutes barrel into him and Leo crumbles.

"...I didn't have to do it," he says.

"No." Splinter gets up, coming closer. "You had nothing to atone for. You did it because you are brave, and you are kind, but this was never yours to fix."

Leo sucks in one harsh breath, then another, and then he's sobbing harder than he ever has in his life, and his dad hugs him tight, his arms warm and his fur soft where Leo buries his face in his shoulder.

All the feelings he's pushed aside - the ones he didn't think he had the right to feel, because he'd had to do it, he had to make up for his mistakes - bubble over, gripping him with grief and despair but also relief, that he's still here to cry and be hugged by his dad.

"I was so scared."

"I know."

"I thought I wouldn't see you guys again."

"I know. We thought we had lost you, too."

"I just... I didn't know what else to do... I couldn't let him... I couldn't..."

"Shhh, it's alright. It's over now. We're all safe."

Leo hugs his dad back, as tightly as he can with his injuries, and sobs and sobs until he's all out of tears. And all along, his dad tells him he is safe, he is good, and he is loved.

Later, Leo feels even better than he had before.

[paintpanic]

Res AU Joronia drawings. Character rambling and bonus doodles under cut.

This AU takes place a good while after the events of Triple Deluxe happened. Since then, Taranza's mostly recovered mentally from everything. He was able to move on from his grief and (somewhat) forgive himself. Now that Joronia's in his life again, seemingly back to her former self, some of those wounds he'd thought were fully healed have started to ache again. He still feels ultimately guilty for what happened to her.

He's thrilled that Joronia's been given a second chance at life, but is somewhat wary deep down. This feels to good to be true, that she's just back with seemingly no strings attached. The other shoe could drop any day now, and he could lose her all over again. Fearing this, he wants to make the most out of what could be a short time to be together again with his friend.

Joronia senses that there's a distance between the two of them now that wasn't there before. It shouldn't be surprising; he's probably still hurt from what she did. Other people definitely are. She's determined, though, to work hard to make it up to everyone she's hurt, and to prove to them (and herself) that she's not really like that, that she's capable of being better.

The Mirror's influence twisted her mind and her perception of reality. It made her feel like she was inadequate, and that everyone else were enemies to be subjugated. Now, she's supposed to be normal and better, but she still feels like there's something wrong with her head. She still doesn't feel good enough, and it still feels like everyone hates her. It's hard to trust herself. She's not sure if it's some lingering effect of the Mirror, or if there's just something inherently wrong with her now. She's scared.

She's afraid that something will happen, that she'll revert to how she was as Queen, and that she'll hurt Taranza again. Someone who'd always helped her, who'd stuck with her even when she was absolutely horrible to him, and who's kindness she's relying on again now, staying at his home as she worked on getting her life back together. She's a burden on him, and she always has been. She hates it.

Still, her deepest, most selfish wish is that they could be real friends again.

---

These two need to have a long, honest discussion about their feelings toward each other and themselves. Both of them are absolutely terrified about that prospect, though, because they each think that the other secretly resents them to some degree. If they actually talked through it, they'd quickly realize that they both want the same thing.

[firefly-suite]

the way 'leola's fall' and 'leola's last wish' are two pieces about the same moment and are so very different

like the absolute contrast between retelling this moment in season six and seven respectively absolutely sends me because not once do we actually see anything from leola's perspective UNTIL her last wish is revealed and then when we do it's beautiful

and you can hear this in the music

so, 'leola's last wish' is, by name, about her last wish

I wish that even in the dark Sad Afraid Alone that every child should know… You Are Loved

and it's this beautiful lyrical melody (that makes me cry every time i listen to it)

this melody is new, we've never heard it before and it's a solo violin with strings because yes, she's alone but she is loved

(begging for arc three because if we don't get a callback to this I will cry - think about the potential, miyana to her children, rayllum with any future kids etc.)

the music reflects her wish, for in the end, her last moments were of her father reaching out to her, of her father who loved her, loves her even, and telling her so

and her, as a child, only wished the same for others

and it is beautiful and so so full of love

and the piece and scene itself is the last of season seven - revealing a secret barely mentioned beforehand, but it's interesting with aaravos' themes of truth and history - that he never had the full truth - as we've spent a season or so discovering his plans and motivations but despite it all, all he has said, truths and half truths are only his. for all he doesn't lie, he doesn't tell, doesn't even know the truth about her and that's what this piece is and it's just so GOOD the way it contrasts to aaravos' perspective and consequent themes

to leola, her death and wish is full of love; in the dark, her dad told her that he loved her and always would

but in 'leola's fall' it's dark and tragic and desperate because no matter what aaravos tries, leola is going to die

this is aaravos' perspective of her death - being punished for helping, for giving magic out of kindness - and when recalling this moment, he can't see past his grief and anger and then his 'wish' is to have the cosmic council and order suffer for his daughter's death

(side note, there is something to be said about how even in this 'court' aaravos doesn't seem to like the council much anyway, and frowns when they mention the cosmic order. also at the start of this scene you can hear bell tones, like in a funeral - leola's death is a tragedy to him, and due to his grief he can't celebrate how she lived and what she did, only mourn her death. what she did - giving magic to humans - only becomes an instrument upon which he can hurt the cosmic order by twisting what she did. corrupt over compromise, indeed.)

so the piece starts; dark, sad and tragic - the strings make me think of funeral music and is reminiscent of 'the last sunset' from season one:

both pieces are string heavy with the cello as the main melody, the cello which is played by three times on screen by corvus - one of those being 'a song of love and loss' - something that could reflect leola's last wish and death

but then around 2.00, you get this shift to something far darker and angrier and at the end of 'leola's fall' you hear aaravos' theme come back - 'i see you' from season two - solidifying this moment as the root of his motivation + plans against the cosmic council and order

this theme is on the piano, almost as a solo part and the instrumentation of this really contrasts the string section from earlier and then again, earlier from 'i see you'

the piece begins with love played by the cello, a tragic love, but love nonetheless. and then at the end when 'i see you' is heard again, this is the loss, now played on the piano

this is furthered later, on the cello this time, when in 'why are you doing this?' the piece that plays when aaravos tells claudia the full truth, remembering again leola's death and expanding on his hate against the cosmic council/order. in this the strings take a backseat on the melodies which are played with other solo instruments and voice, and to me, this shows that like claudia, aaravos insists that he's the same, that he's done all of this for leola and in her name but even when the strings come back, the cello plays the 'i see you' motif and with an even darker tone to it and now his motivations have gone past his love for her and it's now his hate for the council

but back to 'leola's fall',

the piece itself is of aaravos telling claudia about leola in an effort to further her into freeing him, starting with emphasis on how much he loves his daughter but by the end there are hints to something darker, no longer driven by love instead hate, but he doesn't tell claudia this - terry is right, that even in the music it starts off as a story of love and then became one of hate

the piece starts off with love and then by the end we have his solo theme showing him as alone (wHICH i think is really interesting and @raayllum made a really interesting meta yonks ago about tdp's antagonistic isolationism which is the coolest phrase i've ever heard -also this meta is super cool check it out!!)

in the music, we can hear how leola's death is the moment aaravos was left alone to become corrupted by grief and corrupt leola's gift of magic with his own and then twisting it into his mission to destroy/hurt the cosmic council and order

i think its a semi well established fact, or at the very least within the fandom, that leola gives humans primal/deep magic (me personal opinion is that she gives them deep magic and aaravos was developing primal magic idk lol aNYWAY) but aaravos gives them dark magic and then manipulates those mages to him by promising knowledge and wordly things that are pratically child's play to him

this is slightly more plot related than the score but as he says 'it's only fiting that I deliver their fear' - aaravos wants the cosmic order and council to suffer, notably not with the magic they were afraid of, to show to them leola didn't have to die because he could break the order himself

the contrast between the two made me think of that african proverb 'the child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth' and i feel like that's what 'leola's fall' is to 'leola's last wish' which is like the light in the dark

two sides of a coin: the sun-fire if you will

(also similar to stars)

frederik wiedmann when i catch you-

[mysweetcheesemygoodtimeboy]

Honestly this whole thing just reaffirms what I’ve been thinking for years - that shipping is better off left in the shadows (pun intended) and show runners should never even be made aware of it’s presence. Because watching this finale if you know for a fact no one who works on the show knows about all the nandermo craze would be a much different experience than what we went through last night. All those articles that name-dropped nandermo should never have been published, no interviewers should have asked any questions about nandermo, etc. Because once people behind the scenes know what the fans are wanting to happen, even if they don’t actually give the fans what they want, it does effect how they write the show going forward because they know in the back of their minds that the fans want something specific to happen. Theres not having nandermo be canon, and then there’s the dream scene. And that dream scene wouldn’t exist if the writers didn’t know about nandermo.