#i hope i got my choices & harry characterization right

[trillscienceofficer]

If you want to: assign a music instrument to each member of the voyager crew + their favourite music genre to play. you may keep harry's clarinet if you wish to, or you may assign him a new instrument! (& take care <3)

This is such a fun question, thank you for asking!! Actually I've been thinking about this for a while, albeit strictly in the context of an orchestra. Some time ago I had an idea for a fic in Harry's point of view where it was hinted that after many a boring shift on the bridge he's basically assigned an imaginary instrument to each member of the senior crew. Here's how it went (and actual music nerds please forgive my partial understanding of orchestral dynamics):

Voyager crew as orchestra instruments (according to Harry Kim)

Harry: clarinet (obviously. charming and eclectic member of the woodwind section, with hidden complexities!)

B'Elanna: oboe (the oboe has such a distinct timbre while still being very expressive. Also the fact that oboe players have to make their own reeds from bamboo blanks really fits B'Elanna's resourcefulness, according to both me and I think Harry as well)

Tom: trumpet (loud and in your face but also able to carry forward entire sections on its own)

Janeway: violin, and precisely principal first violin (for those who may not be aware, this role is also known as 'concertmaster' since they direct a lot of the technical details... it's the closest you can get to being a director while still playing an instrument)

Chakotay: viola (tends to get overshadowed by the violins but taken on its own it has a charming and very distinctive voice)

Tuvok: cello (it HAS the range and it can do so many different parts in an orchestra, but either way it's foundational--source: dude trust me, i used to play the cello a bit)

Kes: flute/piccolo (maybe boring choice but I think Harry would think of her as a fellow woodwind player... also the piccolo can get quite intense if not a little grating!)

Seven of Nine: piano (yeah okay maybe boring choice too since she actually plays it in “Human Error” for some reason but it IS a big instrument with lots of range and dynamics that tends to steal the show... and it's somewhat of a 'later' addition to orchestral ensemble music... hmmmm...)

at which point you're asking... where IS the bass and Harry's answer I think would be

Neelix: contrabassoon (it a a bit of a goofy-looking but surprisingly complex instrument with plenty of range, also again DIY reed-making for resourcefulness)

the Doctor: timpani (drums that can be detuned while you play them?? both melodic and rhythmic?? impossible to ignore even when you would maybe like to?? perfect for the Doctor)

and that concludes it... I realize this wasn't perhaps the answer you were expecting! I'll have to think more about assigning instruments & musical genres outside of the context of an orchestra because that's such a big question! But one I definitely love to think about.

(I absolutely do think Seven blasted “A Blaze In The Northern Sky” from the cargo bay 2 speakers at least once in an attempt to reconnect with her human roots or something)

[heyjude19-writing]

Hello! I hope your 2022 is off to an amazing start!

I previously read your take on Lucius Malfoy and it was so accurate I totally agree with everything that you said. So I was just curious about your opinion on Severus Snape because most of your fics have been post-Hogwarts so we haven't seen him through your lens.

PS: I love your fics and would read anything you give us. ❤️❤️

Hello anon and happy new year!

I could discuss Malfoy family dynamics every day for the rest of time, probably, lol. I’m glad you enjoyed my ramblings. So. Snape. You won’t see me writing a lot of him, as you noted, since I prefer writing post-war, post-Hogwarts, and he’s obviously not around. But you will see some Snape in an upcoming Ceremonials chapter :)

He’s a tricky character to get right, so I don’t especially enjoy reading his POV, as I often go back and forth about how I feel about his canon arc and motivations. I think he was yet another unfortunate pawn manipulated by Dumbledore, for one. And he should never, ever have been a teacher. Leaving the whole Harry thing out of it, re-reading the series as an adult, some of the things Snape says to Neville and Hermione in the books are just awful. He’s a fascinating character, to be sure, and I can’t really categorize him as Good™ or Bad™. Nor do I think characters have to fall into one label or the other. Snape performed some heroic acts in his role as a spy, acts that helped Harry stay alive and ultimately defeat Voldemort. You can argue his intentions either way, whether you think they were selfish, noble, creepy, or brave, and the arguments would all be valid, but I do pity him as well.

I see Snape as a bitter, brilliant man who was probably stifled for much of his life, who made some terrible choices, was punished for those choices, and never got out from under Dumbledore’s thumb. I think the series goes a little too far with his redemption and trying to shove a “Snape is saved by love” message down readers’ throats. As a fanfic writer, there are too many other characters from HP I’d rather tear apart and rebuild from their canon components and see what’s worth salvaging or what I can manipulate to tell a good story.

Thanks for this ask anon! I always love dissecting characterizations in both canon and fic.

[sitp-recs]

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish

Harry/Draco, Draco/Other(s) (2020, Explicit, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Draco’s not sure if he has a soul anymore and if he does, it’s probably damaged beyond repair after receiving the Mark—but he knows deep down in the pit of him, it’s disgusting to think that anyone on the wrong side of the war should feel this free. Draco carries his crimes with him like a stench, never able to fully wash away the smell. He’ll carry it with him until he’s on his deathbed, maybe even into the afterlife, because he never wants to forget what he did.

I finally got around to reading this fic and holy shit, I’m completely blown away. It’s been a hot second since I’ve read some of these (quite heavy, mind the tags!) topics and at times I felt so completely devastated that I wondered if I’d be able to continue. But despite Draco’s heart breaking self-destructive spiral, this fic is still refreshing and exciting and brilliantly executed, and no amount of discomfort could stop me from drinking it in one sitting. The convoluted micro universe of appearances, bad decisions and disenchantment sucked me from start to end. What I find really interesting about Draco’s portrayal here is that despite being hopelessly broken and sorry for himself he’s still proud and snarky, and his heart is in the right place. His narrative is amazing and I was so intrigued by the case plot behind this dark take on haute society! Major kudos to the fabulous world building, nuanced and rich in details, with a decadent glamorous atmosphere that actually reminded me a lot of one of my biggest teenage pleasure: Gossip Girl 💅🏼

I won’t elaborate too much on the plot to avoid spoilers, and also because I think this fic needs to be experienced first-hand. On a side note, I wonder if people will question Harry’s forgiving and understanding nature - I for one think it works perfectly well here. Firstly because he’s properly developed as an equally complex and layered character; secondly, as the story grew more dramatic in the final arc, I was hit with the sudden realization that my perception of Draco was being shaped by his own POV. At times it looked like he couldn’t possibly redeem himself, but Harry’s love is his saving grace and a source of hope powering their whole story. I love the slow, tentative romance - so unlike everything Draco has ever experienced - and I love Harry’s equal commitment to his cause and the way it gives him a sharper demeanor, opposed to his softness towards Draco. The characterization is truly fleshed out here, including a truly amazing support cast and one of the creepiest, most deranged and fascinating OCs I’ve seen.

This was one hell of a journey, chaotic and insane, but so gripping that you have no choice but to buckle up. It’s incredibly hard to pull off a movie AU and still make it very much HP and very much Drarry, but trishjames accomplished that with honors! Are you hungry for some hard core angst with happy ending today? 🙃

Read on AO3

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

First, I just want to say that I love reading your rants/head cannons/opinions. I find them VERY entertaining and true. Now, I read your opinions on James, Sirius, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. I want to know what you think of Draco and Neville. I honestly think that Draco is an asshole, but I want to know exactly what you think. P.S. Can't wait for the next chapter of "When Harry Met Tom"

Well, at the very least, I’m glad I’m entertaining.

Now for Draco and Neville, interesting choices actually, I don’t usually spend much thought on those two. Never the less, let’s dive in and see what we find.

Draco Malfoy

There’s a lot of varying opinion on Draco Malfoy. In my long tenure of stalking the internet, fanfiction, and even more fanfiction I’ve found that in many cases he ceases to actually be a character but instead becomes this unholy agglomeration of tropes people like.

Seriously, Draco Malfoy isn’t even a person anymore. He’s leather pants.

What’s interesting to me is that it’s not even always the same tropes. Well, you tend to see the same ones bandied about, but it’s not even like characters like Tom Riddle or Hermione Granger where I can usually narrow it down to a few very precise characterizations you see everywhere. Draco’s all over the place.

You have bad boy Draco who’s varying levels of actually being bad boy so that we can use him instead of a young Tom Riddle. This is generally in stories where an author wants an antihero or else villain love interest, they like the Draco or bad boy aesthetic, but Tom Riddle is too spicy for Yog Sothoth. So Draco reminds us he’s evil a lot, he usually betrays our main love interest in a dramatic yet inevitable moment, but he’s not the purest of evil. He leaves the puppy beside the well and watches as Tom drowns it for him. Despite this the story will often pretend that Draco’s the most evil of evil to raise the stakes.

You have non-problematic Draco who suddenly was never a Death Eater, or perhaps his family was always filled with spies for the Order of the Phoenix, who only pretended to hate muggleborns and really has been on the good side this whole time! Alternately, Draco was on the bad side, but within two seconds of the fic he’s switched sides and we’re told it’s cool now because Draco understands. 

You have Sexy McLeatherPantsFace Draco who never left My Immortal but authors will claim, should you ask, that bisexual overly emotional Draco’s characterization is nothing like My Immortal’s and how dare you imply such things you swine! Really, his pervasive existence is why My Immortal is such a great satire. 

The list goes on but basically Draco’s whatever people need or want him to be to an absurd degree and it always makes me laugh. Oh Draco, what have they done to you? Are you even in there anymore?

Right, where do I land on Draco? Honestly, he’s a bit like Ron in that he has severe character flaws but he’s not goddamn insane like Harry or Hermione.

Mostly though, I just don’t take him seriously.

Throughout the book series he’s an ass, he’s that rich, elitist, entitled jackass that we all have run into at some point or another. He’s the kid who legitimately thinks ‘my father will hear about this’ is a threat and constantly abuses his relationship with Severus Snape just to show how cool he is ‘he practically makes Snape dish out punishment to Harry and Ron needlessly, and Snape is such a sad ridiculous man he actually goes along with it and panders to this brat’. 

Draco’s the kind of ridiculous fucking person who pretended to not have the use of his arm for months just so he could get Hagrid fired. When, honestly, Lucius still could have gotten Hagrid fired probably without Draco’s very non-compelling evidence. (Now, that said, I do believe Hagrid never should have had the job/should have been fired, but that’s a different story). And then, when he realized not having an arm kind of sucked, he was miraculously healed. 

Harry takes Draco and his rivalry very seriously because he’s also an adolescent, lacks perspective, and just isn’t that bright but Draco is fucking ridiculous and half the time he’s embarrassing himself. I mean, the guy buys his position onto the Slytherin team with an absurd amount of money, and he still loses matches to the Gryffindor team. Draco should never be living that down.

So, basically, I never at any point take Draco seriously. He’s just a kid with a big mouth who grew up in a very racist household and never has any idea what he’s talking about ever. He’s not inherently evil, not particularly good either, he’s just a kid who’s more obnoxious than your usual brand of kid.

I never imagined him particularly good looking (I believe his features are described as pinched or something), I never really saw the appeal in either making him more evil than he was or else redeeming him, he’s kind of the comic relief we all needed in our lives but is really there to keep the filler plot going to give Harry and the gang time to stew on the bigger Hogwarts mysteries. Without Draco what would we even do for hundreds of pages?

When it comes to book six he starts getting a little interesting in that his life completely falls apart but I think many fics paint him as far more self aware than he was. He knows his family is in deep trouble but I don’t think he realizes they’re being punished. I don’t think he realizes that Tom setting up camp in Casa Malfoy is a direct response to a) his failure with the diary b) his failure with the prophecy. Well, he might, but I imagine Lucius or Naricssa had to point it out to him. More, I think he genuinely believes he is meant to succeed in the task of assassinating Dumbledore.

He never realizes that Voldemort fully expects him to fail, that this task is just to essentially torture Draco for months, and when Draco does fail Voldemort will then murder him in front of Lucius saying, “AND THAT’S WHY WE DON’T SELL TOM RIDDLE’S THINGS!” This I think is evident in Draco accepting Bellatrix’s help, but not Snape, legitimately thinking that he has to achieve this on his own and that the Dark Lord has given him this Very Important Task (TM). 

Basically, Draco’s a kid over his head and doesn’t even realize he’s in over his head. More, I think even in book seven he still believes in the dark lord’s cause. It’s all become this weird madhouse but we don’t ever really see him come to grips that this is madness. It’s hard to tell because we’re from Harry’s perspective, but Draco never really seems all that unwilling of a Death Eater. Instead he’s very proud to have become one and sure, Hogwarts got a little weird, but that’s okay! 

In other words, I don’t think Draco ever really had that redemption arc people thought he did or hoped he would. Harry just saves his life, Narcissa is forever grateful to Harry, and then Draco continues to shuffle along in life perhaps in a daze wondering what even happened.

TL;DR Draco’s just a guy.

Neville Longbottom

Oh man, poor Neville, why is he even friends with the gang when they treat him like such garbage all the time? Neville’s kind of like the friend who’s sort of friends with this one social group but they constantly forget him except when it’s convenient to them. 

Not just forget him but brush him off, make fun of him, and barely speak with him.

Neville has no friends and it’s really just sad that he’s stuck with these people. 

As for Neville himself, he seems nice, that’s really all I have on him. We don’t see too much of him, his life is garbage from beginning to end (his relatives throw him out a goddamn window), he’s treated like trash by everyone and no one respects him but he still seems nice.

Not particularly interesting, but a nice enough kid who doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit all the time. That said, I guess somebody’s got to be Gryffindor comic relief and plot convenience, so it’s time for Neville to forget the passwords yet again and be left out all night because portraits suck.

[falsegoodnight]

this is part two of my december fic rec! this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 18th to the 28th!! it’s also my birthday today which makes it even more special! i can think of no better way to spend today than spreading positivity! :)

you can find part one of this month here

✰ there’s happiness because of you by @hadestyles | NR | 1k - (so soft, tender, and beautiful!! rori’s writing amazes me always! and this was written for my birthday because they’re an angel <3)

Thursday mornings have always been their favourite.

✰ and it gets colder and colder by @hadestyles | E | 2K - (another rori fic!! once again, beautiful prose! made me feel emotional!)

Harry wants to take care of Louis. Things take a turn.

✰ make my wish come true by @soldouthaz | M | 3k - (drabble from this series) (so cute, lovely, soft, amazing!!! made my heart so happy! this is also dedicated to me which :’) sarah angel chant)

The taste of Christmas cookies fresh out of the oven and peppermint hot chocolate is still heavy on his tongue. Harry’s sweater provides some warmth and it still smells of him from before he left for his internship two weeks ago, but it’s nowhere near the feeling of his arms wrapped around him. Louis shivers despite the blankets.

✰ spirit meets the bones by @hadestyles​ | E | 3k - (i had to edit to add this because rori wrote another beautiful little fic for me :’) beautiful prose, beautiful emotions, so so so beautiful, gosh. pure poetry!)

The action shouldn’t fill his eyes with tears but it does. These small gestures mean the world to him. A steady reminder that Harry does notice all the tiny, seemingly insignificant details that make Louis him.

✰ 29 Blows by @quelquesetoiles | E | 4k - (super hot but also so cute!! love the concept of the birthday tradition in this one!!!)

For over a decade now, Harry has had his little tradition. It wouldn't be a Louis Tomlinson birthday without his best friend finding new, ingenious ways to make his life more difficult.

It's cute, it's funny, it's theirs, until Harry takes it a step too far on Louis' 29th birthday.

✰ calm me down (before i sleep) by @erodiansunflower | E | 7k - (a pwp and super hot, but also super cute??)

Prompt 24: Harry is a sex shop owner that has a crush on Louis, the shy customer who flirts with him while buying cute buttplugs, lace panties, and collars. One day, Louis asked Harry to help him put on a corset (they end up fucking in the dressing room). Things escalate quickly from there, so they start seeing each other seriously while trying other sex stuff.

✰ You’re Never Alone With a Moon This Bright by @helloamhere | T | 8k - (part one of this series) (WOW this was incredible and i am ENTRANCED! this author is an all-time favorite and idk why it took me so long to get to this series but i’m here now!! and loving it!!)

Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas.

✰ Be a Good Girl For Me by @sincetheywere16and18 | E | 9k - (really hot and cute!!!)

Based on this prompt: “AU where Harry is Louis’ older brother’s best friend. He catches Louis dancing around his room in panties and blackmails him, saying that louis has to do anything he says or else he’ll tell Louis’ family that he wears girly underwear. Secretly soft for him, Harry gives him easy tasks and uses the whole thing to spend more time with Louis. Eventually, the orders begin to escalate and Harry teases Lou about his secret, making Louis shy and embarrassed. Louis loves the attention though, and forms a crush on his brother’s best friend. Lots of feminization, secret relationship, and enemies to lovers. Thank you!”

✰ it’s hard to fight naked by @loustarlight | E | 11k - (LOVED this so much!!! a big fan of enemies/flatmates to lovers especially when there’s a walk-in involved!!)

Louis leaves dirty socks on the couch, Zayn does assignments while he's high, and Harry is hopelessly crushing on his roommate.

✰ Sweet Scary Creatures by @specklelouis | M | 13k - (jurassic park au!! so cute and fun!!! loved louis’ character growth in this in particular!)

They stare into each other's eyes for a while until Louis remembers this is too intimate and looks at Harry’s hands on his thigh. It spans a big portion of his thigh and Louis has always been insecure about how thick he is, so he loves that Harry has huge, dustbin hands that hold him and makes him feel smaller, safer.

✰ hereafter (ad infinitum) by @larryent | M | 13k - (this was absolutely beautiful!! the writing was incredible, the contrast between the old timeline and new one impeccable, and the letters!!! love them!! and vampire harry is always a win!)

"A legacy is every life you’ve touched. And you’ve touched mine twice."

On the coast of San Francisco in 2024 is when Harry falls in love all over again.

✰ Believe Me When I Say You Have It All by @helloamhere | T | 20k - (part two of this series) (loved this even more than it’s predecessor. not to be dramatic, but i’d die for the louis and harry in this series. this whole world has my heart)

Harry had never faced anything in this forest that had actually succeeded in scaring him. Louis was no exception.

✰ Yours to Lose by @loulicate-recs | M | 26k - (so cute and soft and sweet!!! louis and harry were both angels and IAN <3 little cutie!!! so proud of you hanis!)

Louis always gets distracted with his mummy duty and he eventually catches Harry's attention.

✰ But It’s Useless by @thinlinez | E | 26k - (this put such a big smile on my face!! so cute and lovely!! louis was a relatable and adorable menace and harry was a smitten idiot but they both got there in the end!!)

Omega Louis would never guess that he would be trying to hack into Alpha Harry's Wifi. That is until everything changes when he tries to get to know his enemy.

✰ Stuck On You by Writewhatiwant | E | 34k - (so so sweet! loved the aspect of stickers in this fic and how louis found joy in them!! really loved how both louis and harry (especially harry) grew throughout this story and how they found peace at the end!)

Louis’ life revolves around his stickers. Harry’s life revolves around his job. The universe has decided their worlds should revolve around each other.

✰ smoke between your teeth by @soldouthaz | E | 37k - (i think everyone knows how much i adore sarah and her fics but this one just might be a new favorite! loved all the psych stuff, the pining, the rom-com worthy confession <3 brilliant!)

Louis tries to stop his addiction to cigarettes and discovers he's been addicted to Harry for much, much longer.

✰ Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning by @helloamhere | T | 38k - (part three of this series) (it just keeps getting better and better <3 so comforting and consistent and beautiful!)

For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right.

✰ On The Edge by @zanniscaramouche | E | 47k - (so crazy good!! zanni is always amazing me!! loved the ice skating, the hockey, the misunderstandings, the multi-faced and beautiful characters and relationships - all so perfect!)

Figure skating is as vital to Louis’ identity as his DNA, so when his skates go missing right before the last Olympics of his career there may be a meltdown only vanilla bath salts can fix. Well, that and the stupidly charming hockey player he met on the plane.

Harry’s too old to be the wonder kid and too young to be taken seriously in the NHL. As an alternate thrown in at the last second, he fights to prove himself on the national team at the largest sporting event known to man. Or he will, once he gets off this flight and can focus on something other than the fussy figure skater and his stunningly blue eyes.

A baggage mix-up skews both of their perfectly laid plans for gold, forcing the two to work together as the clock clicks towards the minute they’re expected to shine on centre ice.

✰ made for lovin’ you by @cuddlerlouis | E | 53k - (loved this so much!! touch depri/accidental bonds are my favorite and this was no exception!!! the characterizations, the tension, the misunderstandings, the tenderness, the fluff!!! so good!)

A quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.

✰ social cues by @outropeace | E | 56k - (so fucking good!! the slow burn in this was impeccable!!! pair it with friends with benefits, mutual pining, angst, misunderstandings... amazing <3)

To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.

He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?

Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.

It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

✰ dripping like spider milk by @raspberryoatss | E | 64k - (pip amazing me with her talent? a common occurrence. this was so wonderfully written and so well done!! loved the characterizations, the dynamic, the angst, the miscommunication, the pining, the HUMOR!!! it was all so amazing!!)

When he sees the alpha, his brown hair curling around the top of his neck and his broad back that’s filled out over the past couple of years, Louis freezes for a moment. The alpha turns around, Louis’ surprised expression mirrored on his own for a fraction of a second before he schools it into a big, yet shy grin and a wave of his huge hand. With his nostrils flared, Louis knows that he can smell him, too.

They never hired alphas, except for—

“Harry.”

✰ a taste of freedom and sweetened passion by @tomlinvelvetfics | M | 74k - (okay technically haven’t finished reading this one yet but i want to get this up early and i already know this is amazing because it’s LATE and she’s incredible!!! and, i mean, anne of green gables?? abo?? best birthday gift ever!! will be spending the day reading this in bliss <3)

“Are you mad?” he explodes, throwing his hands up, groaning. “I was so, so close to reaching my goal, and your stupid, stalking ass had to creep up on me, hm?”

Harry is trying to keep his laughter in, walking closer to him, eyes soft. He doesn’t like the way those eyes make him feel, an odd, dangerous mix of nervous and flustered, so he bends down to pick up the books, raising an eyebrow when Harry growls in protest.

“I wanted to pick them up for you,” the alpha pouts, and Louis glares at him, getting into position and lowering the pile of yellowed pages over the top of his head.

“I’m a functional human being, thank you very much,” he grits out as he begins to walk and mentally count the amount of steps he takes. One, two, three, for heaven’s sake Harry fuck off!, four, five. He doesn’t let himself be distracted as the alpha walks along with him despite the slow pace, green eyes focused on him in a way that would, in any other cases, compelled him to throw a book in the alpha’s face.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t do it and certainly doesn’t want to think about the reason, whatever it might be.

If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[awanderingdeal]

In which Sirius takes back Halloween

My fic for the fabulous fic -o-ween! This is not even remotely scary and is basically a big fluff ball. I hope you enjoy your Halloween as much as Sirius and co!

A big shout out to @ais-for-alex for being my beta for this fic. I did make a couple of changes as I was re-reading this morning (who can resist) so any mistakes are most likely my fault.😂

And finally, a massive thank you to @lumosinlove for lending us these wonderful characters to play with. They really have been a massive part of my lockdown sanity.

Rating: G

CW: Food mentions

“Do you think I should sell this house?” Sirius mused, tapping his long fingers against the rim of his mug.

Remus looked up slowly from his tablet, from which he’d been reading the daily news. “Why would you want to do that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s just so big, you know,” Sirius shrugged, taking a second to formulate his thoughts into a coherent reply. “I kind of just brought it as an act of rebellion when I got my first pay check. We’re never really here and even when we are, we use what, maybe five of the rooms.” He leaned back in his chair, pushing his hair back off his face. “It just feels so soulless,” he finished, glancing at Remus to gauge his reaction. His boyfriend was as impossible to read as ever, not giving an ounce away until he opened his mouth to speak.

“So, give it soul then.” Remus said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Like you said we’re never here. But we could be. We can make memories here if you want to,” he smiled gently at the thought. “Maybe, we could start with me officially moving my stuff in here?” he added, biting into a doughnut casually. If Sirius didn’t know Remus better he would have thought that the monumentality of the question had bypassed him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus's waist pulling him close, smiling into his curls at the memory. It had taken place two years ago now and of course, Remus had been right. Sirius couldn’t imagine living anywhere else now. A crunching sound interrupted his thoughts. He shook his head, but didn’t comment on his boyfriend’s breakfast, a leftover toffee apple, knowing from previous experiences that it would only encourage him to make worse choices.

The conversation in his memory had been the reason that he’d first thrown his annual Halloween bonanza, a tradition (if something that had only been done twice could be called a tradition) that was quickly becoming infamous. It was a family affair with all the team bringing their loved ones to enjoy what was quite frankly, an outrageous display of wealth. Each year, Remus and he turned their back garden into a fete with, pumpkin carving, a hay maze, apple bobbing, spooky cupcake decorating and face painting to name but a few things. No expense was spared. But it wasn’t about the money really.

A soft kiss to his jawline pulled him out of his thoughts again. Remus sighed contentedly and leaned into his chest, body warmth radiating between them. Sirius glanced down at the shorter man, giving him a reassuring smile. Remus could always tell when he was in his own head.

“Just thinking about last night,” Sirius hummed, his eyes flickering to the giant corkboard on the wall. It was currently monopolized by the polaroids that had been taken the previous evening. The collection showcased exactly what the party was all about.

It was the photo of Logan, his teeth clenched around an apple, sticky liquid dripping down his chin and eyes glimmering with competition. Next to it, the photo of Katie Dumais hugging a huge, black stuffed dog, almost the same size as her.

“Logan won me a new stuffie!” she had beamed as the photo was taken. Logan, much to Katie’s distain, ruffled her hair and told her, “N’importe quoi pour vous.” Anything for you.

It was the image of a frantic James declaring, “I have lost my child!” Olli and Timmy laughing in the background because they could see a tiny Harry dressed as a pumpkin toddling around behind his father.

It was the one of Talker, for once sitting still, albeit in a chair designed for small children, his eyes closed but his mouth moving. Across from him, Noelle’s expression was fondly exasperated as she tried to finish painting his face. Another photo evidenced that she had been successful; there were two matching skeletons (Thomas and little Xavi) with faces warped by laughter.

It was the collection of photos towards the top of the corkboard. Reg and Leo. Reg and Celeste. Reg and Jules. And his personal favourite, Reg and Remus.

“I love this one,” Sirius said aloud, his fingers reaching out to brush the picture he was referring to. Even now it still baffled him to see his brother interacting with his boyfriend so casually. At this point the two men had their own relationship outside of Sirius, founded on nerdy things that he failed to understand. His heart swelled as he took in the image of the two most important people in his life.

“It’s a great photo,” Remus agreed. He and Regulus had their heads close together, hands waving as they enthusiastically discussed something. Remus had a smug expression on his face, Reg looked disgruntled. The photo captured their personalities fantastically. “I think this is my favourite,” Remus added, pointing out a different polaroid.

This one was taken inside. An entanglement of blankets and sleeping children. Smitty’s youngest, Noah, had started it. He’d crashed around 9pm after an almighty sugar rush, and his father had laid him down in the quiet of the lounge to sleep. Katya Ivanov and Katie Dumais followed soon after. Harry had put up a valiant effort not to join them. In fact, there was a photo a little to the left of Sirius rocking his godson who was fighting his drooping eyelids. Never the less, he ended up in the pile too.

“One day, we will have one of our own to add to that pile,” Remus smiled, giving Sirius a squeeze.

“One day,” Sirius agreed, wiping a thumb across Remus's lips to remove a trace of toffee. "We better go and wake those two up. Marcie will be here soon – she won’t want to clean around them,” Sirius declared, his head inclining towards the lounge. Remus chuckled in response, spinning in Sirius’s arms and taking his hand to lead him to the other room. Sirius allowed himself to be led, picking up the camera from the counter as he passed.

The camera flashed and pushed out a photo with a click. Sirius grinned, shaking the small square whilst it developed. Slowly it revealed two men curled into one another, the taller of the them had his arms wrapped around the smaller. They looked peaceful. Remus tried to wake them up gently, but apparently the small shake to Kuny’s shoulder was enough to startle the pair. A string of Russian – almost certainly profanities – left Kuny’s mouth as he pulled himself away from Nado. Sirius noted the blush that spread over Kuny’s cheeks as he realised how entwined they had been. 

“Right boys. I hate to kick you out but my housekeeper will be here soon and she does not need to be subjected to your hungover asses,” Sirius said, although he didn’t sound regretful at all.

Nado grumbled, showing Sirius his middle finger and sweeping his hair back of his face. “Come on Koon, I’ll drop you home.”

Leaving Remus to deal with their two unexpected guests, Sirius wandered back into his kitchen to pin the photo he had just taken with the rest. There wasn’t a lot of room left, but he managed to squeeze it between a photo of Natalie and Kasey holding their carved pumpkins, and a particularly sweet one of the cubs. Finn’s lips were pressed against Leo’s nose, red from the cold. Logan cocooned between them, resting his head on Finn’s chest. Sirius couldn’t help but smile as he realized that none of them were wearing the same sweaters they had arrived in, seemingly having swapped them over the course of the evening.

Remus came back soon enough, shaking his head and huffing out a laugh. Sirius didn't want to know. “They'll be gone soon. We should pick up. Marcie isn't paid enough to deal with…this" Remus said, gesturing towards the chaos of the kitchen. Sirius looked around, a grimace forming on his face before he nodded his agreement. The floor was littered with costume parts, either lost or removed as games were played and alcohol was drunk – devil horns here and iron man’s mask there. There was a stain on the rug where a bowl of perfectly spiced pumpkin soup had been spilt. Toilet paper had managed to make its way into the craziest of places, casualties of the mummy competition. Popcorn crunched under his feet – the impromptu viewing of ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ had happened two rooms over - how popcorn had ended up in the kitchen, Sirius did not know.

Despite it all, Sirius would do it all again tomorrow. Growing up, Halloween had been characterized by loneliness and jealousy. His overly religious parents had declared the holiday heinous and banned even mentions of the event. In the supermarket, they snatched offered candy out of his hand and Sirius had listened on wistfully as the other children spoke about their hauls. The memories made him a little sad, but it was okay now, Sirius had reclaimed it  – Halloween was his again.

[writeseasonally]

Just My Type (Fred Weasley)

Summary: Wake, shower, eat, and study, that was (Y/n)’s weekly morning routine. She always studies before the start of class and tries her hardest to avoid all kinds of distractions. But when your best friends are the Weasley twins, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Fred decides to disrupt her morning routine one time with words that leave (Y/n) all red and flustered. 

Prompt(s): “Well you’re fun.” “And you’re annoying.”

Pairing(s): Fred Weasley x Ravenclaw!reader

Warning(s): none

Word(s) : 1.5k

A/N: This is for @im-a-writer-right​‘s 2k Followers Writing Challenge (congratulations again on 2k Ria! Well deserved 💖). This isn’t the first time I’ve written for the Harry Potter fandom, but this is the first I’m posting, so there may be some possible errors when it comes to characterization and I apologize in advance for that; While editing, I also noticed that I used “as if” quite often so...yeah, but with that being said, you may now proceed reading :)

[ please note that english isn’t my first language ]

Noise filled the Great Hall as the students' voices merged as one because of how they talked with each other continuously. It's a wonder as to how they managed to understand what the other was talking about, considering the Great Hall was filled with students who either enjoyed their breakfast while conversing with their friends or were trying their hardest to do a last-minute study before their first subject begins.

Sat on the end of the Ravenclaw table was (Y/n), who was alone. All the other Ravenclaws were with their friend groups; honestly, (Y/n) wished she could do the same, but with the coming OWLs, and with the essays she wanted to revise last minute, she was stuck on the furthest corner of the table with books surrounding her instead of her friends.

Letting out a frustrated groan, (Y/n) thought of how much time she wasted just to rapidly skim the book that didn't even give her much additional information. She closed the book and let out a shriek as a response when she saw a grinning face, specifically, Fred Weasley's grinning face.

"What're you doing sitting all alone here, (Y/n)?" he asked, pulling his face away and grabbing one of the books she previously read. He looked at the book cover and opened a random page before closing it abruptly, a bored look on his face. "I get that you're a Ravenclaw and all but you still need to have at least a little bit of fun." 

"Sorry Weasley, but unlike you, I actually would like to make a good impression for the teachers this year," (Y/n) retorted, she paused to look at Fred before continuing. "Though, it clearly doesn't help with potions since Snape knows I associate with you Gryffindor lot, but eh, I don't mind. It’s not like anyone can actually appease him." 

Fred grinned and swung an arm around her, "Well, Snape's clearly a greasy git of a teacher who shows his distaste towards anything other than the Slytherins. So I would've taken deep offense if you implied that being friends with us lovely and absolutely charming Gryffindors instead of those Slytherins was a mistake you've done."

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, "There we are again, Weasley. You and your overdramatic self making me feel guilty for saying something I meant differently." Fred's grin grew larger at the statement, though it dialed down a little when (Y/n) removed his arm which was wrapped around her. She smiled at him one last time before burying herself in her textbooks again.

Letting out a small sigh, Fred tried to eavesdrop on what the other Ravenclaws near them were talking about. His grin returning for the umpteenth time when the words he was hearing started making sense.

"Come on Romina, you gotta tell us what your type is!" one Ravenclaw exclaimed. She, along with two other Ravenclaws, looked at a black-haired girl who looked unsure in answering the question. Though, not even a second after, the look of uncertainty immediately disappeared and was replaced by an odd confidence.

"First off, I'd like him to be a Gryffindor, considering as everyone in this house's too preoccupied with studying, it'll be fun to have someone who doesn't worry as much around." the girl explained, a smile on her face. "Especially if it's one of the Weasley twins, then that would be wonderful." She looked around and saw him staring, making her look away with an embarrassed smile. Fred too looked away, satisfied with what he's just heard. He didn't know some Ravenclaws acted like that, he thought all Ravenclaws were too busy burying themselves in their books to even care about those kinds of things; he assumed that all Ravenclaws were like (Y/n). He was proven otherwise.

"Not all Ravenclaws bury their noses in their books, you know," (Y/n) said from beside him as if she's just read his mind. She closed the book she was reading. "I just happen to be very conscious of my grades."

"Why couldn't have I befriended that girl over there? She's clearly more interesting and more interested," he asked, face being playfully serious.

(Y/n) snorted and replied, "Please, that girl over there's too possessive of what she thinks is hers. I'm surprised she hasn't yet declared her love for you, Weasley."

"Well, even if she did, I wouldn't be at all interested. She isn't my type, and I've already got my eyes for someone else," he stated proudly, his tone as if he's just won the Quidditch cup single-handedly.

(Y/n) looked at him with a raised brow. Curiousity about what he meant by 'his type' consumed her mind. "Oh? Then may I know what your 'type' is, Weasley?" she asked, emphasizing the word type.

Fred stared at her for a moment, amusement in his eyes. He pondered on whether answering her question seriously or if he should be the opposite of subtle.

Considering he's Fred Weasley, he decided to go with the obvious choice.

"Well (L/n), that's a tad bit too personal, don't you think? But if you must," he sighed heavily, as if (Y/n) was forcing him to share what his 'type' was. 

She on the other hand tried to hide her genuine curiosity with an annoyed expression, though Fred can easily see right through her. 

"First of all, she's got to be able to play Quidditch decently, making George and I constantly target her with a bludger since we both know she can easily swerve past it. She's also got to be a chaser for her house team, if I'm being more specific." Fred started rubbing his chin, making him look like he was thinking of something very deeply, "She's got to have (h/l), (h/c) hair with matching (e/c) eyes. Also, she's a prefect who'll obviously be head girl in her seventh year; she's always got her nose buried in a book as she claims that having fun is a last choice because she'd rather study, but we both know it's a lie. She's also able to be courageous at times, not physically, but implying it with the use of her wits." he paused for a second, holding on to (Y/n)'s eyes as her face suddenly felt hot. He smiled, "Pretty sure Granger's following her footsteps. But most importantly, she's got to be the person I'm talking to right now, whose face is almost as the same shade as my hair, and is the person I'm asking to be my girlfriend."

(Y/n) stared at him for a few more seconds, mind processing the words that just left his lips: 'the person I'm asking to be my girlfriend'. Um, what? 

“What– who– me– why?” (Y/n) spluttered, completely flustered. 

Fred only rolled his eyes teasingly at the question. He thought that his declaration was enough for her, but he did catch her off guard so he understood that she was still processing his words. But instead of repeating his essay-worthy declaration, he opted to use just simpler words that he knew would get a rise out of her, “Well, you’re fun.”

“And you’re annoying!” She immediately responded without a second thought. This emitted a laugh from Fred because her response was all too sudden as if she programmed herself to say those words every time he says she’s fun (and now that he thought about it, maybe she actually did. He could vividly recall telling her she was fun during first-year and her responding with the same three words. Huh).

(Y/n) zipped her mouth shut, she still felt flustered as she watched Fred’s amusement to her reaction, he was clearly entertained. Perhaps he achieved his goal after all: to distract her from her studying and entertain himself. She groaned on the inside, thinking of a way to compose herself. And she did just that

She closed her eyes for a second to calm her racing heart as she took in an intake of breath before releasing it. (Y/n) hoped that it would help her understand his previous words easier. And somehow, it worked.

When (Y/n) finally composed herself and got her confidence back, she looked at Fred with a small smile, her cheeks still burning hot, "Well, Freddie, you're lucky that you're just my type." She kissed his cheek before grabbing all of the textbooks in front of her, which were already arranged, before heading off to her first class.

George was watching everything that happened between Fred and (Y/n) from where he sat on the Gryffindor table. And when he saw (Y/n) plant a kiss on his brother’s cheek before scurrying off with a small, shy smile, he took this as his cue to finally near his brother and ask him about what happened. And tease him afterward of course.

"So was that a yes or a no?" asked George as he made himself comfortable on the empty space beside Fred. He looked at his twin expectantly, who didn't return his gaze, rather, he continued staring at the Ravenclaw's figure until she exited the Great Hall; mischief was evident in George's eyes as he gave his brother a teasing grin, "Merlin, you are already smitten."

×××

gifs are made by yours truly unless stated otherwise

posted: 08-01-20

[beeblackburn]

The Anti-TBR Tag

I was tagged by @books-and-doodles! Thank you! And poor you, for I am a long-winded bastard.

1. A popular book EVERYONE loves that you have no interest in reading?

On general principle, I feel like the really popular stuff (Twilight, Throne of Glass, Divergent, The Mortal Instruments) ends up being stuff I’m inherently not going to be attracted to and some of them have their own hatedoms going on, so going after them in detail would be punching down (though I don’t particular like any of the above). So I’m going to try to go off the beaten path with these seven:

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab = nothing against her personally, though I heard her The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue was baaaaad, but apparently, she’s similar to Sanderson in the magic system being better than the characterization and I heard her writing’s got a white faux-female empowerment sort of thing going that I’m growing increasingly... discontent of by itself. I might try it out later, but I also got hundreds of books to drill through first and I’m in no rush.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo = I’ve been increasingly getting the sense that Six of Crows was a flash in the pan, Bardugo’s style more defined by fun than genuine substance. And given a rather scathing review that points out unearned shifts in characterization, lackluster supporting cast, and two really uncomfortable exploitative sexual assault fantasy scenes (one of which was underaged!), I’m gonna say no.

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik = I generally like Novik! She’s a very solid writer to me and I’ve bought most of her books, so this is purely me not taking to the Wizarding School genre. Sorry, Novik, "a twisted, super dark, super modern, female-led Harry Potter" isn’t the selling point it once was, and even then, I probably wouldn’t have taken to it. Especially when I’ve already got The Gray House by Mariam Petrosyan to read.

The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson = I’ve got mixed feelings on Mistborn looking back: it’s hardly the worst of his oeuvre (Elantris is that and was admittedly his first book) and The Final Empire took a few narrative risks that I admire, I also found the resulting books a tad juvenile and I don’t take to steampunk, genre-wise. I’m not even that much of a Sanderson fan, so I’d rather just read the summary for all I care.

Storm Front by Jim Butcher = given what I’ve been told about The Dresden Files’ lessening of noir roots past the first few books, how it later became more flashy-and-bang magical, and how it’s pretty sexist early on (and from what I’ve been told, doubled down on it later on and having worse treatments of its female characters), I’m in no particular rush to read them. The urban fantasy genre on them only turns me off more.

The Doors of Stone by Patrick Rothfuss = hahaha, I’m sorry, I did read The Name of the Wind, and read select parts of The Wise Man’s Fear, but everyone, instead of waiting and devoting your time for this book to come, I would suggest reading Fitz, Who Is Actually Good and Can Wring More than Disgust and an Eye-Roll out of You in Robin Hobb’s Realm of the Elderlings, given she is far better at characterization than Rothfuss.

Anything by Paul Krueger, Sam Sykes, and Myke Cole = fuck all three of these men and the idea that I’ll pay for their stuff. While I can’t demand any of you not buy from them and I’ll hardly claim to be a saint in terms of ethics, purchase-wise, I would beseech you all please don’t buy from these three authors who have a history of inappropriateness.

2. A classic book (or author) you don’t have an interest in reading?

Charles Dickens = look, I know his word count is padded because of serial installments back then, but I’m sorry, I wasn’t that impressed by the child-sanitized versions of Great Expectations and Oliver Twist. They were easily some of the most boring of out of the child-sanitized classics I read. It was the pictures that kept me going and barely at that. No thanks.

Emily Brontë =  look, if I wanted shitty people being shitty to each other, I’d much rather read Joe Abercrombie because at least I’ll get some intentional dark comedy out of dumb shitheads being terrible to each other (Best Served Cold comes to mind). And I know we’re not meant to like these self-destructive people, but I’d rather not hate everyone that much.

Alexander Dumas = Three Musketeers really didn’t age well, just from the TV Tropes page and I’m not really looking forward to an adventure that goes out of its way to valorize its protagonists being adventurous assholes who dueled, drank, and womanized harder than anyone else and we should commend that because they were men. Ugh.

3. An author you have read a couple of books from & have decided their books are not for you?

Leigh Bardugo = like I said, I feel like Six of Crows (and Crooked Kingdom, to a lesser extent) was a flash in the pan and she’s been increasingly running on fumes ever since then. Good and fun with a decent eye for characterization, but hardly revolutionary, considering how I think Crooked Kingdom isn’t quite as good as Six of Crows, and the less said about Shadow and Bone, the better.

Neil Gaiman = I’ve read some of his stuff (and I didn’t quite see the hype over his writing, but liked it decently enough) but having heard that, in his Sandman run, he wrote in a transwoman solely to get killed for an emotional ending and how he defended that choice for awhile left a battery acid taste for me to read more. He’s a formative part of people’s childhoods, so I don’t blame anyone for being fans, he’s just not for me.

Steven Erikson = really nothing against the dude, I’m sure he's probably a decent guy, but I didn’t take to Gardens of the Moon at all and skimming Deadhouse Gates and Memories of Ice (which were admittedly better) made me realize its prose was something I would need a hard and sharp shovel to crack through, and the darting around of many, many POVs made me feel not invested in anyone.

4. A genre you have no interest in OR a genre you tried to get into & couldn’t?

I’ll answer both because I have the time:

I’m not interested in romance, mostly because it’s an entire genre built around the build-up. It’s usually the story about the beginning of a relationship, not the relationship itself. I’d genuinely like to read about the story of a romance that doesn’t stop shortly after the hook-up or before the honeymoon period ends. The City Watch parts of Discworld by Terry Pratchett, The Memoirs of Lady Trent by Marie Brennan and The Sharing Knife by Lois McMaster Bujold all have romantic elements that are relatively undrenched in melodrama or frills, but none of them are pure romances, which is a huge problem. I can take romantic subplots in fantasy, but I can’t take the genre as-is.

Urban fantasy is a genre I’m not against having my mind changed on liking, but right now, I generally find it insipid, a shortcut to good world-building, short on great characterization, and an excuse to lampshade and pretense to being above fantastical clichés in a tongue-in-cheek attitude while still committing to them. I do genuinely like Rivers of London by Ben Aaronvitch, but that’s really the concession I can give the entirety of the genre. I took a crack at Rick Riordan and Cassandra Clare’s stuff, but it didn’t feel like my sort of thing. Again, would like to be convinced, but I’d much rather read a domestic or slice-of-life fantasy set in a more overtly fantasy world than the urban one. 

Also, sci-fi, but I’m trying again with the Wormwood trilogy by Tade Thompson, An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon, and either the Imperial Radch trilogy by Ann Leckie, or the Teixcalaan trilogy by Arkady Martine. I snoozed through Azimov’s Foundation and generally bored myself of hard sci-fi books, so I’m hoping contemporary sci-fi changes my mind on the entire genre.

5. A book you have bought but will never read?

A book I personally bought? Honestly, Traitor’s Blade by Sebastien de Castell. No particular reason, I just bought it at a closing-down sale at a branch of my bookstore on the cheap because the cover looked nice and didn’t really take to its blurb. I heard good things though, so if anyone else wants to read it...

I tag @vera-dauriac, @xserpx, @autoapocrypha, @kateofthecanals, @turtle-paced, @insecticidalfeminism, @secretlyatargaryen, @helix-eagle-hourglass-nebula, @xillionart, @jovolovo and whoever else that is following me and wishes to do this tag (I’d like to read your posts, so please tag me! :D)

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Koenma Appears

Welcome to episode two, everyone! Before we get to the recap proper, I want to continue down Nostalgia Lane for a moment. Remember how last time I mentioned a Hiei bookmark I used daily back in middle school? Well, I tore through an old "treasure box" I created as a kid (a collection containing everything from a shark tooth to a small book on witchcraft. You know, the important things every child needs) hoping to find it... but I didn't. It's a hard life we lead.

However, I did find some other YYH relics that I thought you all might enjoy seeing. Behold — and, if you'd like, laugh at — my collection:

First up is a picture of young Toguro and Genkai that I wanted to use as my bookmark, but found that it was too wide. For the record, I didn't (and still don't) care about Toguro much, he was just the byproduct of finding a cool Genkai picture. Not shown is the back of the image with the names of my classmates because I made them all sign this along with our yearbook.

God bless my friends for putting up with me.

Second is a collection of very pretty trading cards that I ordered from god only knows where. I have vague memories of not finding any at my local comics shop and convincing my mom to let me order on The Olde Internet. Did I want the trading cards to trade them? Absolutely not. They exist to sparkle and make my heart happy.

Finally, I've saved what is perhaps the best for last. Now, you have to understand that grade to middle school age Clyde did not have the education that she would receive later on, which includes a knowledge of the ephemeral nature of fanworks and the importance of accurate record keeping. What this means is that I have absolutely no context for this. No author, no explanation... just the image itself.

Was this a standalone fanart? A part of a fic? Some specific request or just the will of the artist? I cannot answer these questions. I tried a reverse image search (which is, admittedly, the extent of my tech skills) and you know what the single hit I got was? "Fiction." Thanks, google. So yeah, I can only assume that my child self considered Kurama giving a de-aged Hiei a bubble bath adorable enough to save, but the artist wasn't important enough to jot down for future viewing. Sorry about that, mystery artist. And, as should go without saying, if anyone does know where this came from please let me know! Though I suspect that this is a case of a YYH-specific site closing down and the fanworks getting lost along with it. That happened a great deal before the age of AO3 when volunteers decided to put their time and talent towards saving fanworks of all sorts... 

But enough of all that. Let's get to recapping!

As we established last episode, Yusuke and Botan are on their way to the spirit world to kickstart Yusuke's ordeal. Watching this after over a decade of consuming other media, I really appreciate that Yusuke acts like a human person and asks lots of questions about this. When Botan is cryptic for the sake of the audience — we're going to see "the person" who can explain everything — Yusuke is justifiably like, and what person would that be?? I mean, this is also a way to establish basic facts for the viewer and it simultaneously feeds into Yusuke being someone who is difficult for the sake of being difficult — "If someone wants to say something, they should come to me!" — but it's just nice to see a character who doesn't accept cryptic BS because the story needs them to. If Botan gives an unclear, but ~dramatic~ explanation, Yusuke is going to call her out on that.

So she explains that they're going to see King Yama and Yusuke is all whoa whoa whoa, there's royalty involved? Suddenly, he's not so adamant that they come to him. 

Botan tries to reinforce this rare spark of humility and demands that Yusuke be on his best behavior from here on out.

Pff. Yeah right.

But “he can send you to oblivion forever if he wants to!” is a suitable enough threat to cow Yusuke for now. Which is interesting considering that a few hours ago he was happy to accept hell as his rightful ending. Granted, we could argue that there's a big difference between hell and oblivion — a character may not be afraid of punishment in the same way they are a lack of existence — but I'd say this ties more into Yusuke's development at the wake. Now that he's accepted that people care for him and that he should strive to return to them, the threat of having it snatched away actually means something. Even if that line is otherwise positioned as a comedic moment.

Botan flies them through a portal where we see the River Styx below and Yusuke comments on how big everything is. At first I was like, "What are you talking about? You were just flying over some major city in fictional Japan, wasn't that big too?" but this line makes more sense when they reach the palace and you realize that yeah, it's big. As in, the camera blurs while tilting down its length to show how insanely tall it is. Yusuke and Botan are tiny gnats at the gate's entrance.

"Oh man, what a pad!" Yusuke says and sure, that's one way to look at it lol.

Botan announces that she has a "new arrival" and the gates open for them, but so far there's no one else around. One part of me wants to question the time and budget put into this scene because shouldn't there be, like, thousands of people? Even just waiting outside? The idea that this is the hub of the underworld and that Botan is responsible for ferrying all the souls, yet she is guiding just this one (1) dude for a solid day is, from a world building perspective, kind of nuts. But beyond the need to develop Botan as a character (she can't be a part of the story if her job is treated realistically, with all the endless work that entails), I think this choice functions rather well from an atmospheric perspective too. Meaning, this moment is supposed to be rather tense for Yusuke. He just died, just found out the afterlife exists, just discovered a desire to get his life back, and is now about to meet a King who can toss him into oblivion if he's rude — which Yusuke always is. So this is a Very Dangerous Moment and their relative isolation feeds into that. As does the setting. Yusuke flinches back from the hallway, saying that it looks like a giant throat, so he is now literally walking into the belly of the beast. 

Suddenly, the size of the palace isn't an indicator of awesome wealth, just general intimidation. Also, check out the spikey purple mountains in the background and the harsh reds of the scene, especially compared to the soft yellow of the river. All of it is designed to create an, "Oh shit" reaction in both Yusuke and the audience.

Yusuke's image of King Yama matches these surroundings:

Oh wait! Wrong character ;)

He's massive, red, shadowed, and poses a formidable threat. And how does Yusuke deal with threats? By fighting them! Even those he can't hope to beat. Remember, this isn't a situation where Yusuke has any power here, but he still desperately holds onto the possibility that he might. What if he gets off a punch on King Yama's nose? Then goes for his eyes? Yeah, that'll work! 

Overlooking the fact that it absolutely would not — Yusuke's fantasy conveniently skips how he escapes Yama's clutches — what exactly is Yusuke hoping to accomplish here? Somehow take over the entire underworld? Escape as a ghost and live out his afterlife in hiding? We don't know and that's because Yusuke doesn't know. He doesn't think ahead, he just obeys this instinct to fight. An instinct that, crucially, overrides everything else. Botan has already told him that all Yusuke needs to do is be polite and everything will be fine, but it's not even that Yusuke believes that he can't achieve that; that he knows himself too well and, fearing a slip, starts planning for a potentially inevitable confrontation. There are simply no plans outside of battle plans. Yusuke just hears about someone vaguely intimidating and his brain jumps straight to, "How do I beat him in a fight?" no matter the odds, or that other options are readily available to him. Again, much of YYH's characterization occurs though its comedy, so outside of the general humor of witnessing this fantasy, it actually does a stellar job of reinforcing precisely who Yusuke is. In life the only thing he had going for him was his ability to fight. It was his one joy, his one skill, arguably the one good thing he did if we frame those reflexes as "saving" the kid... so is it any wonder that fighting dominates his every thought? It's all he knows.

And, as we'll see down the line, that single-minded obsession is very useful to the spirit world.

For now though, Yusuke finishes his absurd plans to take down King Yama and Botan asks what in the world he's muttering about back there. Which is an unintentionally hilarious line because by the end Yusuke is not muttering, but full on shouting. Botan. How did you not hear him?

Not important. They reach the next door and we get our first inkling that all is not as Yusuke (and we) expect when Botan leans into an intercom to say that they've arrived. Tech in a fantasy spirit world? This feels not only out of place, but rather... mundane? That's the point. When the doors open Yusuke expects his super scary monster, but gets... a whole lot of monsters that aren't scary at all!

The underworld is run by various demons (or ogres), though their looks are contrasted with the harried office worker personalities they've got going on. Someone is running by with a comically tall stack of papers. Someone else is shouting into a cell phone. The first two demons we see cross paths, looking like they're about to punch one another, just as Yusuke expects... except they're just dramatically getting out of the other's way, worried not about the hierarchy of this realm, but the fact that someone is behind schedule. The nerve!

"This place is a madhouse!" we hear somehow shout and yeah, that's the joke. The afterlife is just as chaotic, overworked, and — ultimately — boring as any human office. For all the strangeness of seeing hundreds of demons, this is familiar.

Which, alongside Botan's bubbly nature contrasting assumptions about the Grim Reaper, is one of the first instances of YYH undercutting the viewer's expectations in terms of looks. No one entirely looks the part they play in this tale and if you're trying to teach people to look past surface characteristics... there are worse ways to do it. Horrifying creatures with horns and sharp teeth? Nah, they're just chill dudes trying to do their job. Cutesy girl who looks like she belongs in a mall reading magazines? Nah, she's the Grim Reaper. Terrifying delinquent with a spine-chilling reputation? Nah, he makes faces at kids and saves them from cars.

Of course, the "nah" isn't accurate either. These are monsters with horns, Botan is a cutesy girl, and Yusuke is a delinquent with that reputation. The message isn't so much that people look like Thing A, but get to know them and you'll discover they're actually Thing B, it's the idea that you can be A and B (and C, D, E...) simultaneously. People — or rather, seemingly simple archetypes — can, in fact, embody multiple characteristics at once.

We'll get our third example in just a second.

Yusuke makes a comment about this being the "dead people stock exchange" — accurate — and Botan leads him to a more ornate door past all the desks. It's clear they've arrived at King Yama's office, since she's bowing and formally presenting him to... someone. Yusuke looks around for the giant beast he's imagined, only for a tiny voice to hail him from the ground.

Looks are deceiving!

“This is Yusuke Urameshi and he’s honored to meet you." Botan knows what's up. She knows Yusuke isn't going to express anything of the sort without some prompting. Too bad he's busy cracking up at this apparent child running the show. Side note: Yusuke has a fantastic laugh.

He even goes so far as to accuse Botan of lying to him.

“Why would I lie about such a thing?!”

“Why would the spirit world be run by a toddler?”

It's true! That’s a legitimate question! I love that Yusuke asks questions. The "toddler" goes on to explain that he's actually the "mighty Koenma," son of King Yama, though he's lived fifty times as long as Yusuke, "so watch your mouth." Assuming Koenma knows and/or remembers how old Yusuke is — fourteen — and is good at math, that puts him at seven hundred years old. He looks good for his age!

"And in addition to knowing the secrets of the universe," he says, "I am quite potty trained."

You've gotta love Koenma.

Yusuke's attitude changes drastically once they get down to business. Koenma produces an egg, saying that Yusuke's ordeal is to hatch it and face what comes out. The hatching part isn't difficult, all he needs to do is keep it on his person. The challenge is in the fact that this egg will feed off his spirit energy and that energy in turn will change what kind of creature develops. If his spirit is wicked and cruel, so will be the beast and it will devour Yusuke upon hatching.

However, if his spirit is good and kind, the beast will become a sort of guardian, guiding him back to his living body.

Note though that throughout this conversation the egg is always a "beast." It's a "monster." It's not necessarily intentional, but there's a strong bend towards the negative here in the description that really emphasizes the whole "ordeal" aspect. Koenma briefly reassures Yusuke that he can remain a ghost if he prefers, but he's already made up his mind. Despite another threat of being lost to a void — this time through spiritual digestion — Yusuke takes the egg almost without hesitation.

He regrets it later though.

"I can't believe I did that."

Can we blame him? I'd be nervous about some egg feeding off the energy of my soul too and I'm a former, almost straight A student (damn you, math) with no life-altering regrets and a general desire to put as much good into this world as I'm able. I’m boring. But what if those occasional, mean little thoughts you have add up? What if the prejudices you're still unlearning stack against you? Does the egg care about what you do, or only how you feel about the act? This sort of test would eat me alive!

Maybe literally. 

Good thing Yusuke doesn't have time for an existential crisis!

Just as he's beginning to regret this decision, Botan points out that it won't matter if he passes if he doesn't have a body to return to. Now, why wouldn't he have a body? Maybe because his mom is set to cremate him tomorrow.

Whoopsie.

Yusuke is, understandably, distraught. We get another excellent exchange:

“Botan, is there any way for ghosts to communicate with living people?”

“Yes.”

“SO ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME?”

I swear, Yusuke is the only smart protagonist. I mean, he's dumb as a sack of bricks at times, but that's neither here nor there. Bless this fictional boy for reacting like an actual person. 

Botan explains that people are more attuned to the spirit world when they're asleep, so Yusuke can deliver a message to someone in their dreams. Seems easy enough. They first head to Atsuko, but find that she's raging drunk and nowhere near sleep. 

"You fool!" she yells. "No one gave you permission to die!" Atsuko continues to yell about how plenty of people survive car accidents, so why couldn't you? "Were you mad at me, Yusuke? Didn't I raise you right?"

Botan comments on how sad the display is. Yusuke's response?

“The only thing that’s sad is now she’s got one more excuse to act that way."

Y'all, that's some mature shit for a goofy shonen anime. Yeah, Yusuke recognizes that, while she's obviously heartbroken, his death has just given her another reason to do what she's been doing for years: drinking herself into a stupor. Toss in Atsuko putting the blame on Yusuke — "No one gave you permission to die!" — plus the belief that she did do a good job — "Didn't I raise you right?" — and it paints a rather bleak picture. This is by no means an uncommon theme. Negligent parents, whether they're framed that way or not, are pretty common in shonen series, but it's still rather jarring to re-watch this as an adult and go, "Oh. The situation’s like that." It's honestly a lot when you remove it from YYH's otherwise humorous, casual context.

Yusuke heads to Keiko's next and finds her sound asleep, commenting on how her room looks more "girly" than when they were kids. Check out that smile!

He's about to try and deliver his message, but Keiko is in the midst of a nightmare. “She’s crying… what’s wrong?”

Oh my god. Remember how I just said Yusuke is also the densest protagonist around? Example A right here. You just died, you fool! You just saw Keiko collapse at your funeral. What do you think is wrong??

We get a peek at Keiko's dream where she is — shockingly! — thinking of Yusuke. He's far out of reach, walking away and unresponsive to her calls. Keiko soon trips and Yusuke disappears completely.

Luckily, she has the real thing at her bedside. Yusuke tries talking to her and at first it's unclear if this supernatural stuff is really working. That is, until Keiko murmurs about how heavy he is.

Reassured, Yusuke delivers his message that Keiko needs to help Atsuko pull herself together and, most importantly, call off burning his body. We get this very soft and pretty background to establish their yet unspoken feelings for one another, though Yusuke gets close with, “I’m coming back. I don’t want to see you cry anymore" as he brushes her tears away. Aww.

Keiko wakes, thinking at first it was just a dream, but no, "I'm sure I felt it."

The next morning she heads to Atsuko's to explain the dream, only to first hear that Atsuko had a dream too, this one about Yusuke "living in some other world full of ogres and he kept knocking them down until he became their leader." It sounds absurd, of course, but it brings Atsuko some comfort to think of her boy in a place like that and Keiko backs down. Right, she'd only had a comforting dream too.

Now, there are two important parts to this exchange. The first is that this is an excellent example of how you let the characters drive the story, rather than forcing the characters adhere to the plot you've come up with. Meaning, in the latter situation, our cast would have needed to have their personalities twisted and the viewer's suspicion of disbelief tested to give Yusuke what he needs: a sleeping family member willing to believe his message. But it absolutely makes sense for Atsuko to be drunk rather than sound asleep, so Yusuke can't rely on her. Likewise, it absolutely makes sense for Keiko to be asleep, but not believe the dream once she's woken up. After all, how many times have we been persuaded by something in the dead of night only for things to look more logical and less likely in the morning? The characters act both like themselves and like people who do normal, people-ish things, which means that Yusuke runs into more conflicts. That's good! It not only raises the tension and stakes — now he has less than a day to convince someone — but makes his inevitable success feel that much sweeter. A less well written show (cough-RWBY-cough) would have had the characters change their personalities, behave in unlikely ways, or just come up with a sudden, contradictory solution because Yusuke needs to keep his body. Instead, Yusuke actually has to work for that within the bounds of the rules established and the likeliness of each plan succeeding. The first one fails? Move onto plan #2.

Second, this dream of Atsuko's has some cool implications within YYH's world. Meaning, we're about to learn in just a moment that some people are naturally more aware of the supernatural than others, even when they're not asleep. We'll also see down the line that spiritual awareness tends to run in families... so perhaps Atsuko possesses more than the average mother? I'm not saying it's necessarily intentional on the author(s) part, but we can choose to read this dream as evidence of spiritual awareness — true insight into the world Yusuke was just in and the fantasies he'd had about conquering it — rather than just a coincidental joke for the viewer. After all, Yusuke gets his own spiritual awareness from somewhere...

(Okay, so there's totally another, canonical reason for that, but we can have both!)

So, as Yusuke puts it, “This dream business isn’t gonna cut it.”

“There’s always the final method," Botan says.

“You always this vague?”

I am literally living for these interactions.

Botan explains that the more extreme form of communication is possessing a living person, but there are two rules attached: it has to be someone you know and the vessel has to be someone who is quite spiritually aware, as discussed above. Atsuko isn't a contender because the story hasn't acknowledged that she might be sensitive, that's just my own headcanon now. Yusuke outright says, “In that case I’m screwed. There’s no one like that!"

Cut to good old Kuwabara.

At first it looks as if he's just oh so conveniently sensing a spirit right when the audience has learned he has this power, but in reality it's Yusuke and Botan flying behind him that sets it off. Again: this show is pretty good about keeping things internally consistent, rather than making choices because That's Just How Stories Work, I Guess. Kuwabara's friends note that he's acting strangely and I love this detail that apparently one of the guys is new to their group because the other two need to explain that this is the "tickle feeling." Ever since Kuwabara was a boy he's been able to sense the dead around him. Some nice, some... not so nice.

He looks directly at Yusuke — even though he's not able to see him — and declares that what's following them is “A puny low-level ghost, like a haunted racoon or something.”

I'd support Yusuke's anger more if he hadn't just exclaimed his surprise that Kuwabara serves a purpose 😂

Yusuke is pissed enough though to proclaim that he won't do it, nuh-uh, no way is he possessing this guy's body. Botan's response is one of my FAVORITES in the WHOLE SERIES:

"Here's my impression of Yusuke: look at me, I’m burning!”

Literally 75% of this series is just about a found family sassing one another and I love it.

Obviously this helps Yusuke remember his priorities and he grudgingly agrees to the plan. Botan prepares Kuwabara's body somehow — idk, spiritual magic or whatever — and warns Yusuke that he only has an hour to find someone and warn them because a human body can't handle possession any longer than that. Sure. I buy it.

So Yusuke takes control and please ignore the incredible ethical issues here. The show will never acknowledge them again. 

He blurts out, “Hey, check it out! I’m inside Kuwabara, feeling smooth!"

Istg I don't remember the series being this unintentionally gay. I don't even ship Yusuke/Kuwabara and I'm digging the possibilities here lol.

Back on track, his friends drag him with, “Looks like he’s back to normal” because again, 75%. What's not normal though is Kuwabara (Yusuke) suddenly charging down the street to leave them behind. He heads straight to the restaurant where Keiko's parents work, demanding to see her. They're rightly concerned about this stranger barging in and screaming for their daughter.

Upon asking who he is/why they should tell him, Yusuke makes his biggest mistake: “Because it’s me, you guys, I’m Yusuke!”

Obviously the time limit and raw emotion of knowing who he is has outweighed the knowledge that, you know, no one would believe that. Yusuke has spent the last two days bopping around as a ghost and familiarizing himself with some of the afterlife's insanity. The knowledge of what's normal for everyone else — AKA, not dead boys appearing in strangers' bodies — is not at the forefront of Yusuke's mind.

So, Keiko's parents react accordingly! The father in particular is disgusted by this claim, going so far as to threaten Yusuke with his knife and outright insult Kuwabara's looks: “Yusuke was never ugly like you… we were close family friends with that boy!" His wife chimes in that this kind of joke is particularly heinous on the day of his funeral. Between Atsuko drunkenly blaming Yusuke for his death and Mr. Takenaka grieving for what he might have been, this is one of the few times we see someone just sad for Yusuke's passing, exactly as he was and without regrets or criticism. "We were close family friends with that boy" paints a nice contrast to the delinquent persona Yusuke was cultivating.

As he's thrown out of the restaurant he says, “We should have special passwords for times like this!” Fun fact, my family does! Well, not this exact situation lol. I was given a password as a child to memorize in case my parents ever needed to send someone else to pick me up or interact with me in any way. If the stranger didn't know the password, I was to kick up a fuss. I rest easy with the knowledge that this password would not doubt assist me if I was ever in Yusuke's position!

With Keiko's parents a bust, Yusuke starts sprinting to everywhere she frequents with the hope of running into her. Or at least he tries. 

Yusuke is suddenly waylaid by a group of nameless teens with a bone to pick with Kuwabara. And you know what? I like it. I wonder how much of my praise stems from coming off of RWBY Volume 8, but it's just so nice to watch a story where the plot — simple as it is — hangs together. We've established that Kuwabara is a street fighter. Last episode we watched him start a fight with Yusuke. Yusuke is on a time limit. Now Kuwabara's tendencies have created a new hurdle for Yusuke!

Needless to say, Yusuke kicks butt, even in Kuwabara’s body. 

As one guy is passing out he says, “Man that hurt! I didn’t think anyone could throw punches that hardcore except Yusuke Urameshi."

Yusuke: “Darn, giving Kuwabara a good name." LOL

You think this challenge is finished though? Nah. Over the course of about half an hour Yusuke encounters a comical number of people trying to get even with Kuwabara. 

As always, I like the nods towards this writing decision to help justify it, with Yusuke wondering how Kuwabara has pissed this many people off. If you want to pull off something that has a low chance of happening, it can help to give the characters a "Seriously?" moment. If both they and the audience are on the same page over how ridiculous this situation is, the audience is more likely to accept it once the character does.

By the time Yusuke escapes his hour is nearly up. However, thanks to some coincidental plotting, he spots Keiko's friends just across the street! 

YYH does a decent job of making its characters feel like they have their own lives outside of what's immediately happening on screen and we get a good example of that here. We pick up the girls' conversation partway through, both of them worried about Keiko's state of mind and, given that we'll see in a second that Keiko was in the store with them, it implies that something happened to reignite this worry. They're off enjoying their day, doing their own thing, there was an event we're not privy to, and now we catch the response to that. It just helps make the characters feel more well-rounded even though they are, at their core, one-dimensional background characters who don’t even have names yet.

Case in point: the one girl is still concerned with their image. "People are starting to say things!"

Yeah, your friend's childhood friend just died. Hopefully they're saying, "Poor thing."

Anyway, Yusuke runs up to ask where Keiko is only for both girls to run away screaming. Turns out his face is messed up from the numerous fights and Keiko's friends are easily scared. 

Luckily, Keiko comes out just a second later and Yusuke is faced with the challenge of how to convince her in, oh, about five minutes. Remember, we've already established through Keiko's parents that just saying, "I'm Yusuke" doesn't work. That's why he hesitates. It's not just drama for the sake of drama, he's stuck.

“I’ve known her my whole life, there must be something between us that only I would do!”

Yeeeeaah. About that 😬

Suddenly inspired (I suppose that's one way to put it...) Yusuke runs up behind Keiko and grabs her breasts. “Keiko, nice uniform! They’re so squishy!”

It goes without saying that, like flipping her skirt up, this isn't okay. More specifically, the problem lies in the story framing this as a joke for the audience, something to laugh at despite Keiko's discomfort, rather than the concept of two childhood friends actually be that comfortable with one another. But, as already established, this is one of the more ehhhh aspects of Yusuke's characterization that, luckily, will mostly disappear as the story goes on.

Note though that the show clearly wants us to think highly of this. Not just as a "joke," but as a smart solution to his problem and more evidence of their inevitable relationship — the background becomes the same soft, bubbly background we saw during their dream conversation. And, admittedly, it does work. Keiko instinctively slaps Yusuke hard enough to knock him to the ground and he starts laughing, saying that he doesn't care what anyone on the street says, she hits the hardest.

What I do like about this is that the assault isn't the only thing Keiko bases her faith on. Not only has she already had the dream, we get to see Yusuke from her perspective, showing all the mannerisms she picks up on by superimposing Yusuke's real body over Kuwabara's. Indeed, she says as much: “I knew it was you from the first time you spoke…and it’s not just your stupid gags, or how you laugh. There are ways you move and speak that in a hundred years I wouldn’t forget."

Catch me crying in this club!

Knowing she believes him and that he's almost out of time, Yusuke reiterates his message: please don't burn my body and also keep Mom on track. Only, you know, it's phrased far better than that lol. As he speaks, both Yusuke's and Kuwabara's voices overlap until the latter grows fainter and only Yusuke's voice remains. His body too. It's a nice touch, avoiding the awkwardness of Keiko having this moment with a stranger, even if that is what's happening on some level.

“I know I’ve been a bum to you at times, but please wait for me."

His hour up, now we can get the awkwardness! Kuwabara comes out of his weird trance thing to find Keiko crying against his chest. Wow, he thinks, this girl must be really into me! 

God, to have the confidence of Kuwabara.

Of course, Keiko quickly realizes it's not Yusuke anymore and slaps him too for cuddling her closer. My favorite thing is that when she does this a crowd INSTANTLY appears. I mean they TELEPORT in. We needed an audience for Kuwabara's shame and YYH delivered, all logic be damned.

“Um, sorry about that!” Keiko yells as she runs away, because she's a good person who recognizes that weird spirit things just went on and Kuwabara isn't actually to blame.

“No, that’s okay. I probably deserved it," Kuwabara responds because he's also a good person and I didn't appreciate him nearly as much as I should have as a kid.

Keiko runs all the way to Atsuko's place where she finds her dressed for Yusuke's funeral. She blurts that Yusuke might still be coming back and Atsuko goes, "He already has." Turns out she opened his coffin to "smack him one more time for leaving me" — yikes — and found that his heart had started beating again, just as Koenma said it would. 

Being in a shonen anime, they apparently decide to just trust Keiko's message rather than, idk, taking him to a hospital or something.

The camera tilts up to show that Yusuke has been watching all this, including that both women break down again and comfort one another. Aww. How heartwarming.

What's less fuzzy though is this mysterious egg. Yusuke takes another look and finds that it has developed a heartbeat too, presumably in time with his body's. He theorizes that he did decent things today, right? But Botan (teasingly) points out that he did beat up a lot of other kids. Rather than getting angry, Yusuke remains uncharacteristically pensive, emphasizing the magnitude of what this means for him. He's got to get it right.

No pressure or anything! We'll have to see how Yusuke balances his karmic scales in the next episode. Until then, I'll try not to put all my TV time into Star Trek: Voyager :D 

See you then!  💜

[carriagelamp]

I read more books this month than I anticipated. I should probably wait before doing a February book round up, but I already feel like I’m struggling to decide which ones to cut from my list so I’m doing it this weekend instead of next. If I read much next week I’ll bump ‘em up into March’s round up

Asterix and the Missing Scroll / Chieftain’s Daughter

I got the last two “new” Asterix books out of the library so I could officially say I had read them all. Over all my opinion is… they’re fine! None of these would ever become one of my favourites, but they’re all fine stories. The art is good, it is completely in-line with the original, and the stories are… fine. I liked The Missing Scroll quite a bit more than The Chieftain’s Daughter but I never find a ~hurr hurr teenagers~ plotline that interesting, whereas I do enjoy seeing Romans get chased down by unicorns so that’s probably not surprising. There’s some spark I can’t put my finger on that the new Asterix books just seem to be missing though… a bit of humour or cleverness or something. Still, they’re fine reads if you’ve been hungry for more Asterix and I’m glad I read them. (Though the library gave me the American translation of The Chieftain’s Daughter, something I didn’t realize until I started reading and realized that this is wrong??? I’ve been reading these books since I could read and I know this is wrong??? What the hell is happening??? The I realized the publisher was different and I simmered in fury the whole time I read it — WHY ARE YOU CHANGING NAMES AND WORD CHOICES IN A WELL ESTABLISHED SERIES THAT ALREADY HAS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION YOU ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU DUMBING DOWN THE LANGUAGE AAAUGH

The Bride Was A Boy

This one was cute! The Bride Was A Boy is an autobiographical manga written by a transwoman recounting her experience with transitioning, meeting her boyfriend, and eventually getting married. It’s mostly done in a 4-panel style and is interspersed with lots of information about the LGBT community, particularly in Japan. A lot of it was stuff I was already familiar with, but I still found it adorable and a very worthwhile read. it would be a fantastic book for young queer people who are looking for more of an introduction into international queer space

Cul de Sac: Children At Play

Cul de Sac is just a weird, fun newspaper comic series about the children who live in a small neighbourhood. It fully taps into the children-as-semi-feral-chaos-agents, and there’s something hilariously nostalgic about the whole thing. Lots of times when stories try to portray children there’s always something… wrong about it, something that doesn’t mesh with true childhood, but in this comic I can see glimpses of my grimy, dirty-covered self as a preschooler running around the pages. I would definitely recommend trying them!

The Cremation of Sam McGee

I reread The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew and man, they don’t stop being buckwild. These are two really famous Canadian poems that were then illustrated by equally famous Canadian artist Ted Harrison. Harrison’s style is gorgeous and distinct and given what strangely grisly stories these poems are they fit the mood perfectly. Everything feels just a little tilted and wrong and unsettling. If you enjoy an occasional poem (especially ones that are super fun to read out loud) and haven’t read these before, I would recommend them! Or do what my teachers did, and read Sam Gee to a young child in your life and watch them be baffled and concerned and horrified.

There are strange things done / in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold...

The Gryphon’s Lair

The second book of the Royal Guide to Monster Slaying series written by Kelley Armstrong; I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book! It’s a very cool fantasy series because it really leans into environmental stewardship and the importance of studying animals and conservation so you can find ways to live alongside a healthy ecosystem. In this book Rowan is officially accepted as the Royal Monster Hunter, which means a whole new set of trials and burdens. She has to contend with a baby gryphon that is becoming increasingly large and dangerous, plotting family members, doubt about her abilities, a potential curse, and a daunting quest deep into the mountains in order to set things right. If you’re looking for some very gentle high fantasy, this series delivers.

Hogan’s Heroes comics

What to say here. Anyone following this blog has suffered the knowledge that I’ve been rewatching Hogan’s Heroes lately. When I found out that there was a short-lived, shitty comic series in the 60s? Of course I had to hunt them down. And so I’ve read them! And they sure were a shitty comic series from the 60s! They were, shall we say, of wildly varying quality. Some were actually really funny (like #5, it easily had the best art and best jokes imho), others were a slog, and most were fine and amusing enough to read the whole way through but not much more.

If you don’t know what Hogan’s Heroes is about: it was a 1960s sitcom that took place in a WWII POW camp, in which the Allied prisoners trapped there had a massive, complex sabotage/spy ring right underneath the camp. The whole show is about constantly outwitting the bumbling Germans while keeping up the pretense that they’re all just normal prisoners. The show is hilariously funny and I would recommend that, even if I can’t say the same for the comics unless you’re like me and are just really thirsty for more content...

Magic Misfits: The Fourth Suit (Ripley)

The final book of Neil Patrick Harris’ middle grade series, The Magic Misfits. In this fourth book, the group is fragmented and forced to meet in secret to avoid notice from the mysterious and powerful Kalagan whose cruel machinations have already turned the quiet little town on its ears, putting people’s lives in peril and destroy Leila’s fathers’ magic shop. The Misfits are going to need all their skills to finally unmask this sinister magician and break the mesmerism he seems to have placed over the entire town before it’s too late to save no only the town, but their friendship and trust.

Super charming series, and the illustrations are gorgeous.

Marsupilami

HOUBA! I watched a very bad TV adaptation of this as a kid that still managed to find a place in my heart, and so I decided to finally try reading some of the original comic! On one hand: it was exactly what I had hoped! The art is cute, the marsupilami is so dynamic and fun to see on the page (and has a way better characterization than he does in the show), and it’s really funny! Unfortunately! It is also pretty racist! Yikes! That seems to be a reoccuring downfall for some of these older Belgian comics... I also tried reading the first book of Les Tuniques Bleues and aye ye ye… I couldn’t actually get through that one. That being said, these were older volumes and frankly, North American media was also real fucking racist at that point so I’m not gonna write them off either. I really liked most of this book, and will probably try to get my hands on one of the more recent volumes of both Marsupilami and Les Tuniques Bleues to see if they get better with time. (If you’ve read either of those series and have volume recommendations hmu)

The Pagemaster

I’m a sucker for novelizations, I have no excuse beyond that. I recently rewatched The Pagemaster and decided to read the chapter book. And it was a solid little adaptation! It’s about Richard Tyler, a young boy with a head for statistics which unfortunately means he lives in constant fear of (in his opinion, statistically likely) injury or death. However that fear is put to the test when he gets caught in a horrible thunderstorm and has to shelter in a nearby library with halls and shelves that stretch beyond the imagination and with untold perils hidden among the pages of the books. Richard, with only his library card and three novels that hope to be checked out, has to venture through the different genres and horrors housed int he library if he ever wants to find the exit and get home to safety.

Pumpkinheads

A very charming little graphic novel. Cute art, and really loveable characters. Josiah and Deja work every year at a local pumpkin patch, and are best friends during those weeks. However this is their last year working there before going off to university and as the last day at the patch comes to a close they realize that they both still have regrets. Deja sets off on a mission to avoid work, eat all the interesting snacks around the patch, and get Josiah to find the girl he’s been crushing on every year and has never worked up the nerve to talk to.

After being deprived of human contact for almost a year, this book really hits you right in the heart.

The Screwfly Solution

A deeply upsetting scifi/horror short story! I read it on the recommendation of a friend and, yes, can confirm that this fucked me up a bit. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this that wouldn’t spoil it, but frankly with everything being as it is, this hit a little bit too close to reality. (That being said, it was very well written, like this is a very good story on a literary level and it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish.) If you feel like reading twenty pages and being really disturbed, give it a go! Otherwise go and read any number of the much happier books on this list!

The Whipping Boy

This was a book I remember reading as a lit circle book back in elementary school and really loving. After telling myself I’d reread it for years, I finally sat down with it again. If you somehow got through school without reading this one, it’s about a brat of a prince and his whipping boy — since it would be unspeakable to strike a prince, when the prince misbehaves it is Jemmy who gets whipped. Unsurprisingly, there is no love lost between the two of them, because the prince is always intentionally causing problems that Jemmy has to suffer for. Things begin to change though when the prince decides to run away and drags Jemmy along with him. On the run, being chased by highwaymen, and desperately trying to hide their identities, these boys go on a fast-paced adventure beyond the castle walls. It wasn’t as special as I remembered it being as a kid, but it’s a fine little chapter book.

[smallblueandloud]

some leverage: redemption reactions

i finished leverage redemption today! and i don't have anyone to talk to about it so, here we have my reactions for all eight episodes, both positive and negative. please feel free to reblog/comment -- discussions are what i'm here for! (under a cut because spoilers and also this ended up being 2k. whoops!)

EPISODE 1: the too many rembrandts job

the "aww, this guy is trying to pull his first heist! how cute" job

what they chose to do with nate was... interesting. it might just be that i read too many of those cracky "here's how they should explain nate's absence" posts, but i was expecting something funny. the grief permeating this episode -- it makes SENSE, but it was still weird. leverage doesn't usually have sadness like this. pain, yes, rage, certainly, but sadness? not usually

the way sophie immediately spots the signs of a con and slips into a character? phenomenal. i'm here for EXPERTS BEING EXPERTS and this show does NOT disappoint

harry wilson is a really solid character! most impressively, he's not flynn, which is impressive enough that i'm making a whole bullet point about it. i was worried that noah wyle was kinda a one-trick pony, but it appears not! good for him tbh

i'm LIVING for the ot3 moments in this episode. "what happened?" "we happened" YESSSSS!!! i wish we'd had more domesticity, but i know they did what they could

"he gets it from his father" FUCK!!!!!

the discussion about redemption in this episode is FANTASTIC but personally i am still delirious with excitement about "my nana leads a multi-denominational household" so expect those thoughts in 3-5 business days

EPISODE 2: the panamanian monkey job

the "flash electropop concert" job

BREANNA INTRODUCTION! i love her so MUCH, y'all. we only got to see her dynamic with hardison in this one episode, but man, it manages to be one of her best dynamics anyway. i just! i love her! i love the way the team works with her!

"in our field, you're one of the best. but there, you're the only one." god we have ELIOT/HARDISON rights and i am NOT OKAY. just!! them!!!!!! being supportive!!!!!! they have learned how to be sweet with each other! they work together so much better (in part because we're seeing them from harry's outsider pov instead of nate's insider pov, but STILL)

midway through this episode, i thought "huh, leverage always focuses on specific people, when really the problem is systematic, and pretending it's anything different is just an excuse to not fight for change". and then at the end harry talks about how the system itself is broken! i love knowing that john rogers and i were reading the same tweets last summer. it's a good feeling to trust the people making a piece of media

who let noah wyle speak spanish. whoever it was, they need to rescind their permission

god, the parker/hardison in this episode. THE PARKER/HARDISON IN THIS EPISODE! they KILL me friends they KILL ME!

also just like, hardison in this episode in general. he made a star trek reference! he made a doctor who reference! he decides there are other people who need him more! the way they wrote around gina bellman's maternity leave in s2 was good but this was phenomenal.

also i'm here for ot3 crumbs so "is this like the time when eliot wanted us to say no" is going on my ot3-is-canon conspiracy board

this is a tiny detail but eliot taking out the drone with a goddamn ORANGE was so good. he's so good at his job!! they're all so good at their jobs!! i know i literally just talked about this but AAA

EPISODE 3: the rollin' on the river job

the "sometimes you just want to rob a vault wearing a floofy dress, and that's valid" job

i did... not. like. how the villain in this one was an immigrant whose exploitable weakness was a "desperation" to be included in the upper crust. and the fact that they beat him with a literal southern belle who explicitly beats him BECAUSE her family has been in the area for "hundreds of years"? it just feels Iffy.

also iffy about this episode was breanna's characterization. it felt inconsistent. she feels inconsistent across the whole season, but this episode in particular... she tells harry she's only with the team because she's desperate, that she doesn't believe in hope, and then at the end of the episode she tells parker she wants to be there to change the world. and like, even in the first place, she's not here out of desperation! SHE asked to join the team! like, i can see how it all kinda fits together, but it just feels... inconsistent. idk. i think these scripts all could've benefited from an extra round or two of editing.

anyway! i loved the way they tied hardison into these episodes, even though aldis hodge couldn't be there. he has binders! breanna doesn't want to read them! parker did! he put in big letters, "when in doubt, trust the person in the van". i'm just so !!! about how much i love him and how much he loves his team and how much his team loves him. FOUND FAMILY, BABY!

all inconsistencies in breanna's characterization aside, i really liked her speech at the end. i know how she feels! it's really nice to have someone on the team who's from -- not my world, really, but a lot closer than any of the others. it's a nice feeling! i love her a lot. i hope her writing gets more consistent

lol, parker ate eliot's carrot cake. i love the parker/eliot rights we get in this show, they're so domestic and it's wonderful.

EPISODE 4: the tower job

the "hardison made his partners learn klingon" job

watching this episode was what made me go "they're not going to make us sit through a harry/sophie romance... right? right?"

i'm still not sure they're gonna let us avoid it but it COULD work so... i've decided to just not worry about it for now

i liked the number of ways the con goes wrong! it was fun to watch them work on the fly like that. i think them not having a dedicated Mastermind(tm) is a good watsonian explanation for their plans being pretty haphazard in general, but it's good, they think well on their feet

nate was a chessmaster. he had the whole situation in his mind from the beginning, accounting for every possible outcome. parker and sophie are much more adaptive, and it's cool to see. they can rely on their respective skillsets a lot more than nate could

a really solid episode! probably one of the strongest ones in the season. i liked it a lot.

(ALSO as mentioned above the klingon lines were fantastic and not just because they were a star trek reference -- every time eliot and parker both mentioned hardison, together, it added a year to my lifespan)

EPISODE 5: the paranormal hacktivity job

the "sophie was worryingly prepared to fake her death" job

i know why they characterized the client as a skeptic, i really do, and i loved the format of this episode, but also. But Also. she should've been a love interest for breanna and I'm Right.

having a girl's episode was the CORRECT choice. they do crimes in their free time! they fleece newbie, cruel criminals! it's so good!

it would've been cool to have eliot around for the assassin guy, but it was also cool to see the others take him out without having eliot to rely on. it's like getting to see how they'd take out eliot, if they were ever on opposing sides.

PARKER CANONICALLY USES SCRIPTS IT'S THE BEST THING EVER

breanna bristling about letting the criminal into the theater's electric system was so good god i love her so much. she knows hardware! i bet she likes to work with her hands. i bet she stims. i bet she has adhd

actually, sidenote, but i LOVE these headquarters. they look so nice! the stage is so nice! i loved having an episode set in and around it, it was such a good choice.

EPISODE 6: the card game job

the "FINALLY AN EXPLICITLY QUEER LEVERAGE CHARACTER" job

QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BREANNA QUEER BR

UNFOLLOW ME NOW THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR THE REST OF TIME

GOD, what a good way to reveal it. it's fully about her! i love queer romances, of course i do, but i don't think i've ever seen a character come out without a romance being their reason for doing so (however indirectly). i still think she should've gotten a date with the client from 1x05, but i really liked this too.

this episode just felt like a love letter to fandom, and i love that. i love how much it shone through. i'm used to writers specifically going out of their way to make fun of fans and laugh at them, so it was just. really nice to have someone stand up and go, no, this is important for a reason! people love this for a reason! it MEANS something!

very fun to watch eliot swordfight. very fun to watch sophie recite a sonnet in her classic fashion. very fun to watch parker work at being a good mentor. breanna was so excited about the card game! they're all so good!

oh, and i guess harry's here too.

EPISODE 7: the double-edged sword job

the "harry is addicted to mobile games, which is a mood" job

hot take alert! i think this is the weakest episode of the season by a LOT. it needed so much more editing. it felt so disjointed, so all over the place. the plot was haphazard but in a muffled way, where you had no idea why they were doing what they were doing. the climax was sudden and didn't make any sense. it was just weird.

i'm not the person to comment on this but it feels kind of lazy to cast an east asian guy to play a socially-awkward tech genius. just a thought.

oh, of course jonathan frakes directed this episode. sometimes his stuff is really good but other times (ahem, ds9 3x02) it's disjointed and all over the place. i'm not even surprised it was him.

idk if i have anything else to say about this. oh! some of the team moments were great -- mostly involving eliot. i loved the moment of him recognizing the headshot, i LOVED the ten seconds of everyone teasing him. he and parker talked about the wellbeing of their friend, the woman whose ex tracked her down!

separate bulletpoint to say how much i LOVED his conversation with breanna outside the house. he's so good at reassuring! he could go deeper there, talking about being better than your worst day, but he knew when not to push! it was so good.

"first off, this guy can't TOUCH hardison" deserves its own bulletpoint because like. y'all. Y'ALL.

EPISODE 8: the mastermind job

the "eliot is more than just a pretty face" job

oh man this post is so much longer than i thought it would be. okay just one more episode and then i'm done.

the callbacks to original leverage were SO well done and made me feel emotions without feeling overbearing.

i didn't like the central premise -- that nate would share so many details with a random insurance agent -- in the first place, but i did like how it allowed them to bring back nate without actually hiring timerty mcasshole.

i liked eliot's insistence that he's more than just the muscle! he is, and it's really good to know, textually, that the writers do too!

me, watching the resolution of the episode: ah, yeah, insurance fraud. a classic!

harry bonding with his guard had "they don't even have dental!" energy and i am SUCH a fan. i know it was all for the con but also give me harry, unable to stop advising people, even when they're actively holding him hostage

parker! on the phone with hardison!!!! ADORABLE

is it just me or was someone else expecting the accountant's name to be something significant? with the way they led up to it, i was waiting for a "sterling" or something else. my sensors were pinging for another tara reveal. i'm still convinced we're gonna get this guy dramatically revealed in the season finale.

a really nice episode! i had a lot of fun with it. and now i want to rewatch the rashamon job, but tbh i ALWAYS want to rewatch the rashamon job.

and that's a wrap! overall, a fun season, i enjoyed it a lot. not as solid as original leverage, but it's the very beginning, and it was put together during a global pandemic, so i'm cutting them some slack. also levar burton is gonna show up at some point. that's a big reason of why i'm cutting them so much slack.

my personal ranking of the episodes is 1x04, 1x06, 1x08, 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, and finally last (and least), 1x07.

what did you guys think of the new season? what was your favorite episode? do you agree with any of my opinions? disagree with any? let me know, please, i'd love to discuss!

[fanficflaneuse]

Sleepless

A/N: Hello, magical tumblr beings. First of all, I can't to thank you enough for all your love and support on my very first imagine ever (you can check it out here). I wrote yet another fluffy, sickly-sweet, absolutely self indulgent imagine. I hope you like this one as well! 

Details: 

Draco Malfoy x reader (she/her pronouns). 

Words: 1689 

Summary: the reader has insomnia and decides to roam the castle in the middle of the night. Fluff ensues. 

Disclaimers: so Draco’s characterization here was a bit of a problem. It still bothers me a bit. This is fluffy and a bit pointless. Mentions of Dolores Umbridge. 

(Y/N) got tired of tossing and turning in bed. The soft snoring of her roommates only made things worse. She peaked through the curtains of her four-poster bed and saw Hermione sleeping. Her best friend had fallen in the arms of Morpheus a while ago.  And there she was, unable to close her eyes as the night seemed to stretch infinitely.

(Y/N) couldn’t remember a time in her life when she hadn’t suffered from insomnia. Usually, the sleeping draught helped her, but these days the stress around her was so overpowering she hadn’t even ventured into Madam Pomfrey’s realm for a small dose.

This year things were agitated to say the least. Pained by the tragedy at the Triwizard Tournament, Harry insisted that Voldemort was back. People were harsh. They mocked him, spread rumours about how he had lost his mind, accused him of lying. Some even claimed that he had murdered Cedric Diggory. She was one of Harry’s closest friends and she had her own reasons to believe him, which meant she was also a member of Dumbledore’s Army.

If the strain of running an underground society wasn’t enough, the fact that Dolores Umbridge had taken over the school gave plenty of reasons to drive anyone mad. The sickly-sweet pink lady was one of the most hateful people (Y/N) had ever met. She seemed to have taken a bow to make students’ lives miserable. She was dead set against Harry and the three people she, rather contemptuously, referred to as his “dream team”, which, of course, included her, along with Hermione and Ron.

The icing on the cake? (Y/N) had a crush. An annoying, deeply confusing crush on the one boy she definitely shouldn’t be ogling at. She blamed Snape for this. Hadn’t he decided that (Y/N) and Hermione had to be separated in his class, she wouldn’t have to seat next to the most hands...stupid and obnoxious Slytherin in the whole school. She wouldn’t have to talk to him every day, notice the little gestures that made him seem so vulnerable, so human. How his big grey eyes could hold so much emotion. How he had expressive eyebrows. How the corners of his lips curled just slightly in an awkward attempt to the friendly to her. How he’d fumble with his family ring and pout when he was confused. How he had this one single curl that wouldn’t be tamed regardless of how he combed his blond hair. How he would always treat her with kindness, albeit with a bit of playful cockiness, even when he was horrible to her friends.

Yes, it was totally Snape’s fault. Now, she not only had to deal with the butterflies and the blushing, the typical embarrassment of such situations, but also the guilt of liking a guy who’d call her best friends horrible slurs and created elaborate campaigns to discredit and embarrass them. What was wrong with her? She felt like a traitor.

If Ron thought Cho Chang could explode from an emotional overload, (Y/N) felt she could combust then and there.

Tired of being in bed, she pushed her covers and stood up. She slid into her linen night robe and slippers and left the room, swiftly and silently as a cat. It was not the first time (Y/N) roamed through the castle late at night. Walking helped to ease her mind and she found that the castle seemed more beautiful and enthralling the darker and lonelier it was.

(Y/N) was so distracted she didn’t realize she had unconsciously walked all the way to the astronomy tower. She decided to climb up, something she had never done in all of her nightly rounds. Once she walked through the door, (Y/N)’s gaze met those stormy grey eyes that gave her both butterflies and heartache at the same time. She gulped and took a few steps back. If she could’ve guessed, she probably looked terrified at the moment; he was, after all, part of Umbridge’s inquisitors.

“(Y/N) wait,” he said softly.

“Will you report me with Umbridge?” she asked, panicky.

“What? No. I just… what are you doing here?”

“I can’t sleep,” she shrugged.

She turned around to leave when she heard him whisper a “me neither” that sounded a bit desperate. She pictured his lips curled down ever just slightly and, finding the image adorable, decided to turn around. (Y/N) found him fiddling with his ring, which made her smile. He looked so shy and a cute that she couldn’t believe it was the same guy who could make her knees buckle with one of his infamous cocky smirks. She walked towards him while crossing her arms, suddenly self-conscious of her choice of outfit.

“Why so shy?” he asked, trying to go back to his cocky, confident persona, complete with checking her out. He thought he had nailed it until she raised an eyebrow in response, which made him cringe at his choice of words.

Draco Malfoy was used to having his walls so frighteningly high it was conflicting for him to interact with someone he actually wanted to let in. With her, her smart questions, her kind smile, the way he treated him as an equal and how she seemed to be interested in what he actually had to say, he felt the façade crumbling to bits. With his walls down, though, his “suave” persona turned a bit to dust. Around her, he felt dorky. Draco Malfoy dorky? Merlin, if his father knew this.

“Why can’t you sleep?” she asked absentmindedly, completely disregarding his last question. He noticed how her gaze shifted to the sky, her face full of wonder. He looked back at the stars as well and spotted Orion immediately.

“I have a lot in my mind,” he answered, “what about you?”

“Me too,” she answered.

“That’s Taurus, right?” she asked, pointing at the wrong constellation.

Draco smiled. Whenever they finished their work with a few minutes to spare, they would seat down and talk about their interests. Astronomy and Greek mythology were amongst the many topics they covered. He shared his knowledge on the first and learned about the later.  

The conversation then changed topics and they found themselves sitting on the floor, backs against the railing, sharing laughs and jokes and experiences. It was the first time they had the chance to have a full-on conversation, to ramble, laugh and be unapologetically friendly. Usually, their conversations ended after the bell rang. Tonight, they could talk for as long as they wanted to. Make each other blush as many times as they wanted to. Seat as incredibly close to each other as they wanted to. No one was waiting for the outside of the classroom, nobody would judge or mock them for being friendly with the other. Suddenly, (Y/N) was not mad that the night seemed to stretch infinitively.

“So, you believe Potter,” Draco pointed out.  

There was a bit of fake annoyance in his voice.  The conversation taken a more serious tone when she mentioned something about his inquisitorial squad.

“He is my best friend,” (Y/N) answered, shrugging once again.

“Pansy is my best friend and I don’t believe half of the things she says,” Draco stated, trying to light up the mood once again. He mentally patted his back when (Y/N) laughed.

“If there is one person that truly knows Harry is not lying it’s you, Draco”.

She said this without a trace of malice in her voice. She was merely stating a fact. Draco could’ve pretended he was offended, he could’ve scoffed and stormed off, how dare she imply he and his family had something to do with the Dark L Volde You Know Who? He could use that to stand up, close that door and never see her again, not have to deal with the terrible crush he had on her. But here’s the thing, he didn’t want to do any of that. He wanted to keep talking to her now and every single day. He wanted to see if she felt that same tickling in his stomach whenever he was around. And he wanted to kiss her. So so badly.

Besides, everybody knew his parents had connections to the Dark Lord. And his father…his father had been acting rather strangely when he got back home from his fourth year. He had talked nonsense all summer. It hadn’t taken him too long to connect the dots. He knew Voldemort was back. There was no doubt about it. But until he decided to reveal himself, he had to play his part. And thus, the whole Potter stinks campaign had started.

“(Y/N/N)…” he looked down, sad and ashamed.

She put her hand on his arm and their eyes met again. Draco was transfixed. (Y/N)’s heart was pounding hard on her chest. She leaned in slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of his reaction. Their noses were almost touching. She put one of her hands gently on Draco’s cheek and he leaned into her touch. The both closed their eyes as their lips finally touched. The kiss was slow at first, a bit shy even. But then they got comfortable with each other, his hands travelled to her waist, the hand that wasn’t on his cheek tangled in his blond hair. The kiss became hungrier. He bit her lip, she slithered her tongue into his mouth.

When they finally pulled away, Draco looked at (Y/N)’s flushed face and found himself absolutely smitten.

“I fancy you, Draco” she blurted out.

Draco gave her a huge, wholehearted smile. She smiled back.

“I fancy you too, (Y/N/N),” he said as he caressed her hair softly.

The kissed again and again, sweet chaste kisses and pecks that made them both erupt in giggles. Draco felt on cloud nine. (Y/N) couldn’t believe what was happening. That night, they didn’t speak of every possible way in which things could possibly go wrong. They didn’t talk about Draco’s concerns and certainties, about the war to come. They didn’t talk about (Y/N)’s guilt about her friends. They just kissed and talked and held each other all night.

And it was a beautiful night.

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 1

Here are my extremely unfashionably late takes! They’re long, so strap in if you want.

okay, I genuinely thought the scenes in Gumb’s basement were ripped from the film for a second. extremely well done.

I both appreciate that they’re acknowledging the Bureau-mandated psych eval Clarice would have to go through (not sure she’d have to have another one a year later?)...

...but I sure wish they hadn’t chosen to open this show in a therapy-like session. it’s going to be subject to enough NBC comparisons as it is.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is so pretty, and in the same almost, idk, elfin kind of way Jodie Foster is.

“Bride of Frankenstein”! a novel reference! and a Hannibal Lecter reference even though they can’t use his name! I’m excited

I was afraid of this part, though--everyone’s going to call her “Clarice” aren’t they?

it’s very significant that in the books, Hannibal is virtually alone in using her first name to address her; even Ardelia calls her “Starling.” but of course this series chose “Clarice” as its title, so...

“the checkout lady at the Safeway asked me to autograph a melon” omg

so Clarice has supposedly been “mandated” to see an FBI therapist for an entire year? hmm.

tbh, this feels kind of like a proxy for Hannibal’s scenes in the movie, especially with the therapist calling her “Clarice.” not sure if I dig it.

“...given that your last therapist was an inmate” Hannibal reference #2!

they’re explicitly talking about Hannibal without being able to name him and it’s hilarious, frustrating, and immensely satisfying all at once.

there’s no way to avoid talking about him altogether without being disingenuous to Clarice’s eventual character arc, so I’m glad they’re ripping off the band-aid early

“you let that relationship be intimate”  Yeah, Clarice and Hannibal’s relationship IS intimate and YOU! SHOULD! SAY IT!!!

it’s kind of ridiculous for this guy/the show not to acknowledge that little trainee Clarice was sent to see Hannibal by someone who should’ve known better. That Crawford was doing it with the intention to save lives doesn’t mean he didn’t use the shit out of Clarice.

that’s not to take away her agency or minimize the choices she made after she met Hannibal. She wouldn’t have been in a position to make those choices if Crawford hadn’t arranged it, though.

even if they don’t have the rights to Crawford’s name, either (I have to assume that’s the case) couldn’t they at least mention this??

“hasn’t seen her own family in years” Are they actually going to address Clarice’s maybe-dead-maybe-not mother (depending on the canon they adopt, book or film) and possible siblings??? Please tell me they are!

Clarice’s “egregious” PTSD doesn’t have much to do with Buffalo Bill ofc, and this therapist seems to be making excuses to be the first in a long line of men getting in the way of Clarice’s career goals...

...which she recognizes and confronts him about. Call him out!!!

*Anthony Hopkins voice* That’s my girl.

the way she’s been written in this scene gives me a lot of hope going forward! she’s funny, she doesn’t take any sexist bullshit, she’s calm and polite but you get a glimpse of the rage underneath. 

wow, they promoted Senator Martin to Attorney General!

the opening credits (if you can even call them that) are a let-down, though

she has her beads!

can anyone who’s not Hannibal please stop calling her Clarice

wonder if they’re going to touch on any of the extreme tension that existed between Senator Martin and Clarice in the novel? they didn’t interact in the movie, but in the book, Martin is under intense stress, and it doesn’t go smoothly.

of course in “Hannibal,” Martin invites her to “ride horses,” so they obviously reconciled after Catherine’s rescue and kept in some kind of touch.

and speak of the devil: horses! (and Catherine)

“I can’t have a reputation, I’ve only done it once” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Clarice.

“Paul Krendler” *ugly screaming commences*

“you don’t have any people, Clarice” Aaand that’s the plot of the Hannibal novel!

looks like they even gave her the ring Jodie’s Clarice wears!

oh yeah, this Krendler looks like a sumbitch if I ever saw one. No one will ever be as perfectly cast as the dude in Silence imo, but a much better fit than Ray Liotta. 

“small carat, but it’s a sweet ring” A very in-character observation probably directly informed by her comments about nail polish in Silence.

she mentions this victim’s nail polish (!) being “tasteful,” and I shrieked a little again.

I understand it’s necessary for Krendler to be a douche, but there’s not even going to be any payoff for the audience (or Clarice) when Hannibal eats him, so boo.

wait...wait, why aren’t Clarice and Ardelia in their Alexandria duplex? They’re not just best friends, they’re roommates! For the entire seven-year story! GIVE ME THE DUPLEX!!!

BUT points for Ardelia bringing Clarice a treat, since she was always leaving her candy bars in the Silence book!

Clarice interacting with the washer/dryer is a nice nod to the books, too.

speaking of... “What did we learn in the laundry room back at Quantico?” For some reason this line made me actually cry, I guess because this whole episode has been such a love letter to something I love so dearly, and it’s making me emotional.

FIRST PRINCIPLES!

DESPERATELY RANDOM!!!

wow, the men in Clarice’s new office giving her lotion as a hazing “welcome” gift is awful, and now I’m just mad (which is the point of the scene ofc).

so this ex-military OC is the John Brigham stand-in, I take it?

if that means John Brigham won’t be here, No Thanks.

Clarice telling him she’ll drive...a tribute to Dana “Why Do You Always Have to Drive?” Scully, perhaps (who was herself inspired by Clarice) as well as a nod to Clarice’s love of cars?

“Why do they call you the bride of Frankenstein?” Sorry, I don’t have the legal rights to tell you about my last intimate relationship.

“Already on my way to West Virginia Granny Witch” Look, this show could crash and burn from this scene on, and it would still have been worth it just for these first 25 minutes.

I like that Clarice is shown wanting to help people, and the scene of her with the baby is a nice call-back to the eventual shoot-out at the beginning of “Hannibal”...but I hope they don’t try to domesticate her too much. Clarice needs her hard edges. To be tough (reasonably so)--a cub growing into its big cat’s claws.

also, somehow I doubt that Miss Valedictorian spent her six years in the Lutheran home “changing a lot of diapers,” but sure, okay. If her siblings are alive in this, she might have changed their diapers!

even though Krendler’s a real dickwad so far, he’s not slimy enough for me. Needs more grease.

“I got a call from your therapist who’s concerned that you might genuinely flip out” I really do not like this subplot Sam-I-Am. Aren’t the huge glass ceiling/Boys’ Club obstacles enough?

seriously, though, I know Hannibal tells her that the metaphorical lambs will come back--at the end of Silence, though, she’s at some kind of temporary peace, not in danger of “flipping out” any time soon.

if Esquivel really is our Brigham stand-in, I’ve got...problems with that. He was Clarice’s teacher and became her friend, not some Krendler double-agent. (Also worried they’re setting him up as a love interest for her which...eesh, no thanks.)

and sorry, I actually hate that Catherine kept Precious the dog in this.

I have no problem with Catherine being a character, or with her interacting with Clarice...that said, I don’t know if her being shown as severely traumatized and reaching out to Clarice as a form of emotional lifeline is...a good idea?

I understand the symbolism of Catherine’s smashed mirror, but...smashed mirrors are already a Thing in this series (albeit not Clarice’s chapter in it), and that’s all I can think of here.

Catherine’s a victim of unthinkable trauma. Nevertheless...she’s talking to the woman who saved her life. Who risked death to do it. I just don’t like the way this scene is written. Apparently, in this show’s canon, Catherine hasn’t gotten the help she needs. But Clarice isn’t her therapist, and it’s upsetting to have Catherine being all “I’ll never be safe and neither will you.”

how does Catherine remember “the mannequins, the autopsy table”?? And why is she throwing them in Clarice’s face?

I’m going to stop talking about this scene now because it’s making me angry and a little upset, which is maybe the point? I just don’t think it’s written well. If Catherine’s going to be a recurring character, I hope she’s shown getting professional, medical help.

Clarice finding the victim’s papers in the box of pads is a direct callback to her finding the photos in the jewelry box in Silence. Nice.

let’s agree that Hannibal and Crawford are both in Ardelia’s (too-cutesy-for-me) book

another nice little X-Files homage?

I have some qualms about that big climax, but...meh. It was capital-F Fine.

Yikes, this is a full week late. Thanks for reading this entirely-too-long post through to the end, if you’re still here! 

To sum up my thoughts...

The Good: 

the visual connections to the Silence film (that green coat/blue knit scarf combo in particular)

Rebecca Breeds’ performance overall so far

Clarice’s strong writing/characterization

her sense of humor and her inclination to call out bullshit

maybe it was just me, but I also got a sense of Hannibal’s influence on her in some of her dialogue--her blunt observations--and I love it

Ardelia Mapp

the repeated in-your-face references to Hannibal Lecter

the respectful, non-exploitative way the victims were treated by the narrative.

let’s just say, not all Harris-inspired shows managed to do this. :)

the many, many allusions to the novel

“you let that relationship be INTIMATE” !!!

The Bad: 

the near-constant implication that all Clarice’s trauma stems from her experiences in Gumb’s basement

I just don’t understand this one...it’s not supported by the text imo

the “Clarice-is-a-psychological-loose-canon” subplot

almost everyone calling her “Clarice”

NO DUPLEX IN ALEXANDRIA! Boo!

Esquivel maybe replacing Brigham

the narrative choices they’ve made surrounding Catherine so far.

Seriously: please let Catherine seek/get help instead of screaming “HELP ME” at Clarice, who after all risked her own life to save Catherine’s, over the phone.

The Ugly: Paul Krendler, lol. Confession time: I also don’t care for the way they’ve styled her hair. Not sure why it bugs me, it just...does.

Overall, I’m thrilled to death with this. I was so afraid it would be disappointing, so even if it’s not a five-star episode (and pilots rarely are), it’s a great beginning! It’s beyond amazing to see our girl on the screen again. Just this hour-long episode did her character way more justice than the entire Hannibal film. Despite its shortcomings, it’s such a loving homage to characters and a story that mean a lot to me, and I love it just for that.

Going forward, I’d like to see more of Clarice as a person. Her hobbies and interests--cars, sharpshooting, running, fashion magazines stuffed under her bed, horseback riding, her total inability to cook...anything would do. I of course want to see more of her with Ardelia. I want to hear more about her backstory and find out which version of it (truly orphaned when her father dies or sent away by her mother) they’ll choose to explore. And while we all agree that this show is about Clarice and she don’t need no man, I won’t lie: I’d gobble up more sly references to Hannibal. He’s her endgame, after all.

I’d also like to really see the warrior underneath. There are flashes of her in the last twenty minutes of this episode. But Clarice Starling is a big cat, she’s a warrior, she’s between iron and silver. I’d hate for her to spend most of this show doe-eyed and traumatized. I want her to be ferocious, to see the woman who’s a match for the monster.

Krendler needs to get nastier. He should make us feel like we need to shower. In the novels, he wants to use Clarice--only for her body. And when she won’t allow him to, he takes his revenge. That’s what makes him so particularly awful. Let’s amp him up here.

And finally...maybe I’ll appreciate Catherine’s scene more on a second watch. Maybe I’m not being sensitive enough to her trauma, her struggles. But I didn’t like the way that scene was staged or scripted, and I didn’t like the suggestion that she just hasn’t gotten help after a year and is subsequently taking her pain out on Clarice on some level. I hope future episodes handle this subplot, and her character, a bit better.

Please let me know if you guys would like me to do another of these monstrosities for the next episode. (I promise it won’t take me an entire week this time!) And thank you again for reading!!! 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Best Christmas of all; Tom Holland x child reader

*Author’s note*

Okay WOW! I am a TERRIBLE Person BUT I GOT IT DONE. To the Watson anon from long ago as well as @artistintraining239​ I FINALLY GOT THE TOM HOLLAND REQUEST DONE!!!!!! Now @artistintraining239​ I made a SLIGHT change in the adoption part of the story so I hope you’ll accept what I ended up doing for that part, and to the Watson anon whomever you maybe, you are LITERALLY THE MOST PATIENT PERSON EVER!! You requested something from me like 2 years ago around Christmas time and I couldn’t do it cause it ended up as shit, so you gave me a second chance and I PROMISED I DELIVER AND SO I DID!!! It took awhile for me to try and add the ideas you had mixed with this other requester listed above but I F***IN DID IT!!! 

Not really any warnings just PURE, TOM HOLLAND FLUFF, foster care (just for characterization), Tessa makes an appearance, and having no knowledge of Tom’s family. I’m just using them here for the story, RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY'S. 

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural​

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@ixchel-9275​

@platawnic​

______________________________________________________________

It’s a miracle when a person can go up on the big screen and become someone famous, it’s another miracle when you get adopted after losing your family in a housefire before you reach your teenage years.  I gained both miracles.  The best place to start is probably from the beginning when I was chosen to costar in the upcoming Marvel movie Spiderman: Homecoming.

I was chosen out of hundreds if not thousands of little girls to play the cousin of Peter Parker aka Spiderman, Jenna Hawkins (Brown spider).  Jenna’s character was that while she was Peter Parker’s cousin, she would eventually become a sidekick of Spiderman who not only was a quick learner thanks to her cousin, but she was the perfect silent weapon because no one would suspect a child (much like how real brown spider bites can be deadly but not really kill).

I had asked my current foster mom if I could audition for the film and thankfully she said yes but she had to run it by the system if I could audition for a film role.  Surprisingly the foster system I was put in allowed me to audition and by a miracle I got the role.

So I was flown out from my home of Colorado Springs to New York where they were filming Spiderman: Homecoming.  And surprisingly the entire cast didn’t treat me with sympathy or made me feel out of place because I was a foster child, they saw the potential in me as an actress and as a person.

They looked past the fact that I was a foster kid and just saw me, which I really liked, especially from some of my heroes like Mr. Downey (oh I guess I should say Robert since he told me that Mr. Downey made him sound like his dad), Tom Holland and of course my true role model Zendaya (since I love KC Undercover).

Now it was getting close to the holiday seasons, my favorite time of year actually Christmas time.  I’ve always wanted to know how people celebrate Christmas unfortunately the foster family I live with didn’t celebrate Christmas (something to do with religion or something) so they just treat Christmas like any other day.

So while everyone was closing up the set and locking their trailers, I was sitting in my movie chair while my agent locked up my trailer.  As I was scrolling through my phone, I heard the familiar voice of Tom call out to me.

“Hey (n/n)!” I looked up and smiled at him.  I got out of my chair and raced up to him to give him a big hug.  “Whoa oh man you really are getting strong aren’t yah? Almost knock me off my feet.”

“Sorry Tom.”

“Hey don’t even worry about it. So you excited for the holidays? You got any idea what you’re gonna get for Christmas?” at that point I looked down and I told him.

“Not really.”

“Why not? You’ve been the sweetest girl I’ve met, I’m sure Santa’s got you at the top of his nice list.”

“Maybe. But I won’t know cause the foster parents I’m with don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Really?” I nodded. “Well do they celebrate a different holiday? Like Hanukah or Kwanzaa?” I shook my head no.

“The only holidays they really celebrate are New Years, Valentine’s day, 4th of July, and Halloween.”

“Wait so not even Thanksgiving? Cause I hear that’s a big celebration here.”

“They just treat it like a normal day. I think their reason for not celebrating the December holidays is religion or something. And I’ve always wanted to celebrate Christmas but—I was either too young to remember how my first Christmas went or because of now. But what are you doing for Christmas Tom?” I asked trying to lighten the mood since I had seen that I made him upset.

“Well just gonna go home, be with Tessa and my brothers and the rest of the family.”

“Wow, that sounds like fun. I hope you have a good Christmas Tom. I’ll see you in the New Year when we get back to filming.” I turned and went to grab my phone when Tom said.

“Actually (y/n). Would you like to come to London with me for Christmas?” I turned to him and was shocked at what I just heard him say.

“You—you’d really want me there?”

“Yeah. I mean I was hoping to kinda make it a surprise by tomorrow but as you know I’m—pretty terrible at keeping secrets. So I got in touch with your foster parents and the foster system you’re under and they’ve allowed you to come spend the holidays with me.”

“Really? They did?”

“Yeah. So—do you wanna come with me and meet my family?”

“Yes!” I ran back towards him and hugged him again.  This time he picked me up so that I could now wrap my arms around his neck.

“That’s great! So the plane leaves in a few hours, why don’t you get your stuff and I’ll meet you outside with Harry and we can drive up to the airport.”

“Okay.” We then pecked each other’s cheeks and I quickly raced off to find my bag that my agent Mr. Jones had.  He handed me my bag and told me to behave and that if anything happened, just call either him or my foster parents.  I told him I would be on my best behavior and with that we hugged each other and I walked outside the studio and saw Tom and Harrison outside about to get into the taxi.

“Ahh (n/n) over here!” I rushed over as fast as I could before Tom met me half way and picked me up and tossed me in the air making me giggle as he held onto me with one arm before taking my suitcase with his other hand.

“So you ready to see England (y/n)?” asked Harry.

“Yeah. Is it really as big as they make it in the movies?” I asked.

“You’ll have to see for yourself.” He answered.  We all then piled in the car and Harry told the driver to take us to the airport.

“You think Tessa will remember me?” I asked Tom.

“Of course she’ll remember you. She loves you.”

“Is flying over an ocean different than flying over cities?”

“Not really. You nervous about flying overseas?”

“I mean a little. Sorry.”

“No, no there’s no need to apologize love. I remember flying overseas the first time and it can be scary. But you’ve got me, right?”

“Right.” I said with a nod.

“So there’s nothing to be afraid of (n/n). I’ll be right there with you the entire time. And you can always hold my hand if you feel a little scared, okay?”

“Okay, thanks Tom.”

“No problem.” It took a long time but we finally arrived at the airport and we did all the usual stuff they make you do at the airport before we were finally allowed to head to our gate.  It was about an hour and a half wait before our plane even arrived so Tom and I ended up playing Super Mario Kart on our Nintendo switches.

I was in my lead with Mario but Tom cheated and bashed into me with his Yoshi.

“Hey that’s cheating!” I exclaimed.

“All’s fair in Mario Kart my dear (y/n). And Yoshi is the best there is.” He mocked back at me.

“Yoshi’s a cheater and a bully.” I whined as I tried to take back the lead.  Then just my luck, Tom’s cell chimes his text tone and he had no choice but to answer it because for some reason it kept chiming repeatedly.  So as he looked down at his phone, I crashed into Yoshi and took back the lead and won the race. “I win!”

“What oh that’s not fair you knew I was distracted!”

“All’s fair in Mario Kart Tom.” I threw his words back at him.

“Ohh she got you there mate.” Harry laughed.

“Okay, okay then, alright then yah little miss smarty pants.” Tom said with a quirk of his brow while I did my victory dance just to rub it in Tom’s face that I won and he lost.

“1st class flight nonstop to London England now boarding, 1st class passengers only can now board.”

“Ohh that’s us. Get your tickets ready.” Harry said as the three of us grabbed our small bags and we showed the lady our tickets before going through the tunnel and finally getting on the plane.  We got into our seats and I looked out the window seat and waited another long time before we finally started to take off.

As the plane began to take off, I felt my stomach beginning to sink down to my feet. That’s probably the one thing I didn’t like when it came to flying, that and having my ears popping.  I rubbed my ears as I could feel them beginning to ache, that’s when Tom took my hand and said.

“You best not do that, it’ll only make it worse.”

“Then what can I do to make them stop ringing and popping?” I asked.

“Here’s a trick my dad taught me. Plug your nose, like you’re about to dive in a pool.” He said as he demonstrated for me and I followed suit. “Then as hard as you can blow from your nose. That’ll make your ears pop open.”

“Your voice sounds funny Tom.” I giggled hearing how his voice sounded with his nose plugged up.

“Well so does your little missy.” He mocked back. “Okay so let’s blow together on three okay?” I nodded. “One….”

“Two….”

“Three.” And as hard as I could I blew as hard as I could.  “It didn’t work.”

“Try it again, sometimes it takes a couple of tries.” He told me.  He counted down again and I blew as hard as I could again, this time feeling my ears pop however the second they did I was met with this agonizing pain as I began to rub them again. “No, no don’t rub them it’ll only make them worse.”

“But it hurts Tom!” I whined out.

“I know but trust me, the pain’s gonna subside soon. Just give it a moment. Here wanna hear a story about Tessa that my mum told me awhile ago?” I nodded and he then told me of how Paddy taught Tessa a new trick with balancing food on top of her nose before getting the command to eat it.

Hearing that story gave me a good distraction and soon enough my ears were better and no linger hurting anymore.  It was then we were told by the captain that we could now take our electronic devices out and that’s when Tom proceeded to take pictures of Harry and I and he posted it up on Instagram telling his fans that we were on our way home for Christmas.

He then even showed me the video of the trick he told me about earlier. Apparently his brother Paddy managed to get a recording of it as well and he sent it to Tom.  So I got to see for myself Tessa’s new trick.

“Do you think she’ll come to the airport?” I asked him.

“Maybe, mum and dad know how much I love spoiling that Princess of mine. Well next to you munchkin.” He said with a playful ruffle of my hair.

“Tom!” I whined out.  He chuckled and we proceeded to watch all the videos of Tessa that he had.  We continued with a few more games of Super Mario Kart or Mario vs. Sonic the Olympics.  After several hours even with it still being daylight out the window, I began to grow tired.

“It’ll still be a long while before we get to London, why don’t you take a little nap?”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. See that’s the best part about long flights, you get to catch up on sleep. And I know these past few months have been rough on you even with just 10 hours of filming you have to do. So go on take a little nap.”

“Okay, hey Harry?”

“Yeah?” he said as he looked up from his phone.

“Please beat Tom in another round of Mario Kart for me will you?”

“Hey! You win one time and you act like you’ve won the super bowl.” Tom said which made Harrison laugh.

“I’ll win one for you kiddo. Besides someone needs to knock this rotter down to size.” He said gesturing to Tom to which Tom glared at him.

“Okay you cheeky little kitten, go to sleep.” He brought out my pillow and blanket and lowered the window screen down so the sun wasn’t shining in my eyes and covered me up.  I placed myself against the wall and soon I fell fast asleep, suddenly feeling the exhaustion from the past few months from all the filming and jumping and swinging I had to learn for the film.

“(Y/n)? Hey (Y/n),” I moaned tiredly and woke up to see that I had went from the wall to spreading across Tom’s lap. “We’re here.” I looked outside to see that it was still pitch black out.

“What time is it?” I said as I stretched myself out.

“A little past 3am. So it’s still early for you to be fully awake. But don’t worry we’ll meet my parents in the car and you can go back to sleep on the way to the house.” He unbuckled my seatbelt and packed my blanket and pillow away in my bag. He picked up my bag then he went and picked me up. “Okay there we go love.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung onto him like a sleepy koala while Tom walked out holding onto me with his arms wrapped around me.  From my constant eyes opening and closing trying to fight off sleep, I saw Tom walk through the tunnel before we were finally out the gate and I felt him waving.

“Hey mum, hey dad.”

“Welcome home son, Harrison, and this tired young thing must be (y/n).” I turned to look up and as I rubbed my eyes, I saw Tom’s parents.  They looked like nice people but I was just too tired to fully introduced myself.

“Now Dominic, you can tease the girl when she’s fully awake. C’mon you three must be exhausted. Let’s get you all home and into bed.” Tom’s mum said.

“Thanks mum.” Tom adjusted me back into his arms so that I was now lying against him but I still clung onto him as we all left the airport.  I don’t really remember much after that because soon I went back to sleep against Tom’s chest.

When I woke up the next morning I found myself in a bedroom.  It was painted gray and the sheets were a dark blue color.  I heard the door open and the next thing I knew this big mass of gray came hopping right towards me and I was greeted with wet kisses.  I knew only one creature who greeted me like that.

“Tessa! Awww Tess I missed you so much!” I cooed as I scratched her belly and squished her face between my hands.

“She could hardly contain herself when we came home last night.” I looked up and I saw Tom leaning up against the edge of the door.  “It does warm my heart to see you liking Tessa.”

“Why wouldn’t I? She’s an angel.”

“Guess it’s kinda due to her breed. Blue Staffys’ are considered one of the most dangerous dogs here in the UK.”

“But that doesn’t mean she’s vicious. It’s the same with pit bulls. My foster dad back home tries to keep me away from the neighbors white and brown pitbull Titan every time he escapes. But he’s not vicious, unless you count licking someone to death vicious.”

“Man I’m so glad you think that way (y/n).”

“Yeah. That’s what Mrs. Spencer always tells me whenever it comes to dogs. I wish I could have one, or a cat for that matter but my foster dad’s allergic to cats and my foster mom is terrified of dogs, unless they’re the purse dogs but I don’t really like them.”

“Why’s that? Just out of curiosity.” He asked as he came over and sat down at the foot of the bed while Tessa placed her paw on my lap finally calming down.

“Not big enough. I’ve always wanted a dog that I could cuddly with like a teddy bear. Or play fetch with. At my last foster home that I could remember, there was this family that has these Chicha…..Chicas…..I can never pronounce the name.”

“Chihuahuas?”

“Yes that’s it. They had about five of them and they weren’t very nice. Those are the dogs my current foster dad would say were vicious, because they always attacked anything and one of them even ripped my favorite jeans apart.”

“Ahh man that’s terrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.” He said as he gently stroked down my hair.

“Yeah but it’s better than what it could’ve been.”

“True, true, but you never need to worry about getting hurt by this pretty princess.” Tom cooed as he leaned over and kissed Tessa’s head repeatedly.

“So it’s Christmas Eve, what do you guys usually do first?”

“Oh right it is. Well if you’ll come downstairs with me my lady, I will show you firsthand what Christmas is like in the Holland household.” I then got out of bed and Tessa hopped down and went on ahead and raced down the stairs with Tom and I following behind her.

When we got downstairs, all I could see was pure magic.  Lights and Christmas decorations everywhere.  There were tiny villages out along some of the tables and china cabinets standing all on top of some type of cotton or something, which made it look like the villages were on top of snow.

“Wow, this is so pretty.” I said in awe.

“You really like it dear? My mum and I collected those little Christmas villages every year when I was growing up. Each year we’d add a new addition to our collection and make our little Christmas town grow even bigger.” I looked up and there I saw a woman standing beside me.

“Morning mum.” Tom said.

“Morning love, did you sleep okay?” she asked as Tom hugged her.

“Always. (Y/n) this is my lovely mum Nicola, mum this is (y/n).”

“It’s an honor to meet you (y/n). Tom’s told us so much about you.” She said as she knelt down to my height and held out her hand.  I shyly shook it and said.

“Tom’s told me a lot about his family. You all seem really nice.”

“Well Paddy and Harry cane be rambunctious and tricky little buggers but they’re cool.”

“Thomas behave.” His mom lectured him which made me giggle.

“So shall we get started on the gingerbread houses mum?”

“Yes we shall. But as punishment for your comment against your brothers, you’re gonna be doing the hard part of gluing the house together.”

“Aww mum!” whine Tom which made me snicker. “Laugh it up fuzzball.” Tom said to me.

“Hey who you calling a fuzzball you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf-herder!”

“Whose scruffy looking?”

“Alight, alright enough you two. At this point the both of you are looking at gluing the gingerbread house together.”

“Sorry Mrs. Holland.” I apologized.

“It’s fine dear, now then both of you in the kitchen now.” Tom and I then raced to the kitchen with his mum telling us not to run in the house.  A few minutes later, his dad and his brothers Harry, Sam and Paddy all arrived in the kitchen.  His brother’s were pretty good, especially Paddy who let me in on all the embarrassing stories of Tom.

“And then there was this one time when he was in Year 11 when he went to the winter formal and tried to ask this girl he liked by…..”

“NO! Don’t you dare tell that story!” Tom shouted at him.

“Why not I think (y/n) should hear it.” Paddy mocked.

“What? What happened?” I asked.

“It’s nothing, nothing happened.”

“Tom went outside her house with a boombox playing some sappy love song.” Sam said.

“N you didn’t.” I proclaimed.

“So what if I did?”

“What did you think you were in, the 1980?”

“Hey she loved 80’s movies and Say Anything was her favorite so I figured she’d think it was sweet.”

“Yeah till she said it was corny and turned yah down.” Said Paddy.

“Well I thought it was real sweet the way Tom asked out his date. Of course she turned out to not be the one, but that’s fine because at least now I know that I raised my little Thomas to be a romantic.” His mom said as she came over and pinched his cheek.

“Mum please!”

“Alright, alright enough talk. Let’s get this gingerbread house up and ready to go.” His dad stated.

“So how exactly do you make gingerbread houses?” I asked.

“Just watch us and jump in whenever you think you got it.” Said Paddy as his brother Sam got the supplies.  He dumped out the cookies while Tom’s mom and dad got the icing and graham crackers out.

It was then the Hollands’ began to build their gingerbread house.  Just as Tom was about to glue the pieces together, I decided to step in and I told Paddy.

“I can hold it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah I got this.”

“Okay now (n/n) be sure you hold this nice and still while I glue it okay?”

“I got it Tom.” He then proceeded to start gluing the walls together then once he was done, he placed his hands over mine to give it a bit more pressure so that the two pieces could stay glued together.

“Hey (y/n) mind helping me out with this? I’m trying to pick the glitter patterns for this year but I can’t figure out what to do.” His mom said.  Tom allowed my hands to come out from under his and I quickly went over and she helped me look over the glitter patterns.

“Hmm……what about the silver and gold pattern? Like in Rudolph.”

“Brilliant. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Oi (y/n), mind helping us pick out the gumdrop patterns. We got the colors we want but can’t figure out the pattern.” Sam said.  I looked over to see the three colors they’ve chosen; purple, green, yellow and red.

“Hmm…..why not do purple, yellow, green and red? Cause red and blue make purple, so by ending it with red we can start back to the purple, even without the blue.”

“Oh yeah. Thanks (n/n).” Sam said as he ruffled my hair.  It took awhile but finally we managed to get the gingerbread house all done and decorated.

“Alright everyone, I officially declare that the 2016 Gingerbread Holland house is officially made.” His dad proclaimed and we all applauded.

“And of course let’s not forget the biggest help of all, Miss (Y/n) (l/n).” Tom proclaimed as his family clapped for me as Tom picked me up and paraded me around the kitchen.

After the gingerbread house we were watching some Christmas movies while his mom was making us some lunch.  Right now we were watching one of the old animated movies, we had just gotten done with Rudolph and now we were watching Frosty the Snowman.

“See before Olaf came along with his warm hugs, Frosty was the OG. He was the man!” Harry proclaimed.

“We get it Harry, you love Frosty and hate Frozen, let it go.” Sam said which made Paddy laugh.

“I see what you did, good one Sam.” They fist bumped with each other.

“You guys are such dicks.” Harry said.

“Harry! Language!” Tom said as he covered my ears trying to block my ears from hearing the words.  Truth is I’ve heard every single bad word in the book thanks to my foster mom’s brother.

“Lunch is served.” Tom’s mom came in with a plate of sandwiches, ranging from ham, ham and cheese, veggie sandwiches, or turkey.  I grabbed a plain ham sandwich and that’s when I felt a nudge at my leg.  I looked down and there was Tessa looking up at me with those big brown eyes, she licked her chops as she eyed my sandwich.

“Ah-ah Tessa, go on scoot. Scoot!” Tom’s dad said as he took notice of Tessa from the chair that was beside me.

“Tess,” Tom said before giving one whistle and Tessa went over to Tom and he told her, “Tessa down. Down. Good girl Tess.” When I saw Tessa lie on her stomach, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.  I heard her take a deep sigh as she began to close her eyes.

I looked around to make sure no one was looking before ripping a part of my sandwich off and I lowered it down towards Tessa.  She immediately lifted her head and reached her neck out before finally scarfing down the sandwich.  I patted her head and quickly went back to watching TV.

“I saw that.” I heard Tom whisper in my ear.  Uh-oh busted.  I looked up at him with the most innocent face and whispered back.

“Saw what?”

“Don’t you play dumb, you’re gonna get it later little missy.” He teased as he pressed his forehead against mine before turning his attention back to the TV.  I gulped thinking just what did Tom have in mind.

When the sun began to set, it was time for Christmas dinner.  There was turkey, pudding, pies, cookies (which I helped make with Tom’s mom), cakes and fruits and veggies.  As we all gathered around the table, I ate a piece of turkey, I was suddenly feeling this—bubbly feeling in my stomach.  I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like—that feeling you get in your stomach when you’re sad but also overjoyed with happiness.

“(N/n), you okay?” I heard Tom say.  I nodded and hummed before turning back to my turkey.  “Are you sure? You’ve got the deep in thought look.”

“I’m fine Tom, really. I just…..feel happy to be included in…..a family. For once.” The room went quiet for a long time before Tom’s mom placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and she said.

“We’ve enjoyed having you here with us (y/n).”

“My wife’s right. You’ve been a really big help today, we hope you’ve had an equally good time here with us and that we helped make this a good Christmas for you.” His dad added.

“I have. In fact I—I think this maybe the Christmas I will always remember the most.” I said with a soft smile.  The Holland’s all smiled and I felt Tom pat my back while his brother Harry ruffled my hair and I felt Tessa at my feet.

After dinner we gathered in the living room after getting into our pajamas, I helped place down the cookies for Santa with Paddy. He placed down the milk while I placed down the cookies.

“Okay there’s one last tradition we have before we go to bed.” Tom told me as he sat me down into his lap.

“What’s that?”

“Every Christmas eve we take one gift and open it up, sorta like a sneak peek at what’s coming tomorrow morning.”

“We started shortly after Sam was born, the kid could hardly wait to open up his presents so we decided on one gift just to get him to go back to sleep.” His dad explained.

“I wanna play Santa, I wanna play Santa!” Paddy exclaimed.

“No, no, no Paddy you played Santa last year. Let’s let Tom be Santa this year.” His mom said.  Tom picked me up and I sat beside Tessa and stroked her head while Tom began to pass out presents.

I got my present which was just a simple Christmas bag with red and green paper stuffed inside to hide my present while everyone else got boxes.  Maybe my present was a snow globe or some type of clothing?

“Hang on guys, hold on. I think it’s only fair that we let our biggest help and guest (y/n) open up her present first.” Tom announced once all the presents were given out.  They all agreed before turning to face me.

“Okay, if you all say so.” I dug through the bag and pulled out the green and red wrapping paper to reveal an envelope.  Okay I was confused? Why was I given an envelope, if it was a Christmas cars I doubt it could fit in this small thing.

“Here I’ll help open it, Harry hand me the letter opener by the dining room table.” Tom said as he came up next to me.  Harry got up and he got the small knife and Tom thanked his brother before opening the envelope with a single swipe.

He handed it back to me and I took out a few pieces of folded paper.  I unfolded the hamburger styled papers and I saw at top the name of the Foster Care system I was put under.  There was all these big words but the one thing that did catch my eye was the signature of Tom’s parents at the bottom.  I looked through the other papers and kept seeing their signatures.

“What’s…..”

“Something I was running through the Foster system as well as my parents. I’ve really enjoyed having you around (n/n), you’re like the little sister I never had and……we want you to be a part of our family.” Tom said as he brought me up onto his lap.

“You—you all…..wanna adopt me?”

“Yes love, if you’ll have us that is. I mean, Tom’s told us so much about it it’s like you’re practically part of the family.” His mom said.

“So what do you say poppet, want to be a Holland?” I was……overjoyed.  A wide smile spread across my face as tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t even form any words as I nodded allowing the tears to fall down my face.  Soon my new family all came up and surrounded me in a group hug.

At this point I don’t care what else I might’ve gotten for Christmas, all that mattered now was this.  I had gotten the one wish I had always wanted, the one gift I hoped I would get someday.  A family.

It was then the next morning, waking up that Christmas day, in fact it became a White Christmas day, I got to spend the entire morning with my new family making snow angels with my new brothers, having snowball fights, learning how to build a snowman with my new mom and dad, and playing around with my dog Tessa.

In the years to come those Christmases grew to be better than the last but none of them will ever compare to my first Christmas I had with my new family.

[aetherbunny]

Here we go. Olympic AU stuff

This is stuff that was developed to potentially make it into the fic, that was cut out of the fic or I needed to develop it in order to write something that DID make it in lol. The fic itself is here, just in case you’re seeing this post first...

Minor characters cut from the story were Gabe’s Olympic roommate Alexander “Sandy” who was a bit of a weirdo and followed Gabe around making it hard for him to spend time with Prince.

Uriel is barely mentioned as the fencer Gabe knows and not by name. She models to better fund her fencing, and Gabe has been in front of the camera a few times himself. they met that way. She was going to be Fish’s original target until Gabe introduced her to Mikey.

The Mikey and Fish bits were unfortunately cut. I could not decide what I wanted Mikey to be like and she was really inconsistent in her characterization. So to keep her well done I had to keep her short.

Lyle (Ligur) is the the member of the Judo team FIsh references. Harry (Hastur) runs the marathon. They’ve been together one way or another for as long as anybody can remember. 

ON to the childhoods, they were developed slightly, because maybe there would have been calls home or mentions of family... going to put this under the cut because it’s so much...

Dorothy “Fish” Fischer, was an only child for a while and then wound up with a younger step-brother. Other than that she had a remarkably average childhood. She realized she was a lesbian pretty early on and so did her parents quite frankly. No real issue when she finally came out.  She’s known Prince since they were in high school. They were low key bad girls, skipping classes, smoking under the bleachers, the occasional fight. Ya know. Her mom had a problem with that, and made her pick an extracurricular to take up some of her time She picked swimming and the rest was history.

Elizabeth Prince is second last in a family of 7 kids. I was actually “challenged” to make up her whole family. My pre- reader called my bluff on something, and I had to. More on all of the Princes later.

Ezra Fell had a nice peaceful childhood! He’s an only child and his parents love him very much! His mom is a seamstress and his dad does woodworking. They participate in a lot of historical re-enacting events and make props and costumes for the local theater! Mr. Fell used to weight lift when he was younger and Ezra thought he’d give it a try. For the time being he still lives with them and will still do historical re-enactments! Adam and Them live near the Fell’s and occasionally show up to the historical things and ask increasingly silly questions about whatever is going on. The organizers have little patience for it but the Fell’s like the kids and keep them out of everyone else’s hair.

Anathema has a gigantic extended family. Some of them are, uh, in a mostly harmless, self contained cult? Agnes did still write that book after all but none of it is actually coming true. Her immediate family knows a lot about the “cult” but doesn’t participate. Her family is also still incredibly rich, due to some excellent investing choices. Her parents are lovely, attractive people who dote on their daughter. Anathema is also the only one of the gang competing for a country they don’t live in (full time)! Adria has dual citizenship in Puerto Rico/US so I can imagine Anathema does too. With that she chooses to compete for Puerto Rico (after qualifying of course).

Newt is very much the same. He lives with his mom, his dad was just never in the picture, but the two of them are perfectly happy. Ms. P is a grade school teacher, and the kids and parents love her. After Newt met Crowley she might as well have had a second son, and she’s perfectly happy with that.

Crowley had a pretty bad childhood. His mom died when he was very young and his dad was a piece of shit and left him to fend for himself most of the time. He became very resourceful even if it involved petty theft. He saved Newt from getting beat up (by getting beat up himself) and then they became nearly inseparable. Crowley just calls Ms. P mom, since she basically was.

If Crowley couldn’t be with the Pulsifer’s for whatever reason he was with “Auntie Tracy” or Shadwell. They broke up the fight that introduced Newt and Crowley.

Auntie Tracy is pretty much exactly her book counterpart. When she was “Busy” Crowley would go across the hall with Shadwell who only pretended to dislike him. Shadwell would never tell him but he actually knew Crowley Sr. and thought he was an asshole and it was no surprise he didn’t care about his kid. So Shadwell “begrudgingly” taught Crowley things he’d need to get by.

Both Crowley’s surrogate families knew about each other, and Mom and Auntie had a sit down about everything and worked it all out.

Crowley moved out of his house as soon as he could and moved into the apartment building with Shadwell and Tracy. The Dowlings also live in the apartment block. They’re ex-pats who moved for Mr. Dowling’s job. They’re not bad parents per-se but they could be a lot better. Their son Warlock has taken a shine to Crowley and hangs out with him sometimes. Crowley knows what it’s like to be a kid uncomfortable in his own home so he lets Warlock in whenever.

Crowley works as a mechanic when not diving, he has a pet ball python named Eden he spoils, and he’s obsessed with astronomy. He loves  kids and happily volunteers for things at the school when they don’t have enough parents. He’s ambivalent about his gender and sexuality.

Gabriel Herald also had an unfortunate childhood. His dad was in the military and had every hope his son would follow in his footsteps. Gabe, and his mom were not so keen. Gabe was a gentle affectionate kid and she knew that did not make her husband happy. Mr. Herald was a short tempered, verbally abusive man and took most of it out on his wife. Mrs. Herald was a kind woman who loved her son and did everything she could to make sure he never got the brunt of his father’s temper. They moved to the UK when Gabe was young and lived off base.

However it happened they met the Fell’s and spent a lot of time there. Ezra was too young to know what was going on and Gabe never said, but the adults were well aware. The Fells gently talked Mrs. Herald into considering divorce or at the very very least therapy for everybody. Luckily she took their advice to heart. They moved back to the states before the Fell’s knew what happened.

She did get her and Gabe some therapy and was eventually able to divorce her husband. Gabe met Michelle, who was in the US with her military family, at a catholic high school. She had a fairly normal childhood with no huge tragedies. She and Gabe actually dated for just a little while before she realized she wasn’t into men. They proceeded to fake date the rest of high school so the faculty wouldn’t catch wise. Her family took a little adjusting when she came out but accepted it in the end. Gabe and Mikey have been close friends ever since.

Gabe got into boxing right about the time of his parents divorce. His therapist suggested some kind of physical activity and teenage Gabriel wanted to be able to protect his mom in the event his dad got physical…

Mrs. Herald eventually remarried a very kind man who loves her (and Gabe) very much. And Gabe couldn’t be happier. None of them are in contact with Mr. Herald any more.

There was going to be a little scene where Gabe calls home to talk to his mom. Because he’s a mamma’s boy if that wasn’t obvious lol.

Now, for the entire Prince family…I was “required” to give them all names…

Martha and David Prince are now retired and have been for a while. David was a postal carrier, Martha worked at a nursing home. They never pushed their kids to do anything, just supported what they enjoyed. They have no idea how ALL their kids wound up so successful and even with all their love and support they’re overwhelmingly serious and introverted. They’re slightly relieved their youngest is happy to be “something boring.”

Arthur has numerous paintings hanging in fine art museums. He lives on a little farm and cares for his animals in between paintings.

Katherine (Kath) is a sought after architect with her own firm. She’s the second most athletic, keeping in good shape and occasionally running marathons.

William (Will) is a heart surgeon, Martha and David live in his detached cottage.

Charles (Chuck only to his family) Is a property lawyer, and relatively laid back compared to his older siblings. He’s more introverted than serious.

Benjamin (Ben/Benny) is quite friendly and outgoing compared to his siblings. He’s a violin virtuoso and has played around the world.

Elizabeth (Lizzy ONLY to Eleanor) is a world champion archer several times over, and has multiple Olympic gold medals. She teaches lessons but her teaching style drives all but the most dedicated away. She’s not cruel or aggressive, she’s just incredibly blunt.

Eleanor (Nora) is the most bubbly and outgoing of the family. She’s in school getting her higher mathematics degree and will likely become an accountant. She and “Lizzy” are especially close. There was going to be an ongoing text conversation between the two.  Nora is also pretty good friends with Fish.

Katherine, William, and Charles are married with kids. Elizabeth and Gabriel get married a few years into their relationship. Ben is in a long term relationship, but neither of them are in a hurry to get married. Arthur and Nora are single. Arthur has no desire to marry and Nora is just too busy with school to devote time to dating.

Also I know this is in the back of some of your minds, the medal breakdown!

Fish and Newt take bronze

Crowley, Gabe and Anathema get silvers

Ezra and Prince take Gold, Ezra nearly breaking a world record for his lift!

and sadly the UK women’s volleyball team does not medal at all.

[schraubd]

The Good Place: Final Thoughts

*MAJOR SPOILERS*

At the conclusion of season three, I registered my prediction of how The Good Place would end:

The abolition of the afterlife in its entirety (no more good or bad places); a re-emphasis on doing as best you can when it matters (i.e., during one's actual life); the core quartet is sent back to Earth to live out the rest of their natural lives as friends.

I would say that, like most religions, I got about 5% right. The afterlife, as we knew it, is abolished. And the series does end with all of the human characters passing on. But in between, The Good Place takes a much more audacious swing: a genuine attempt to reform the afterlife. And -- and I think this is perhaps even more profound -- an essential acknowledgment that this attempt fell short. A perfect paradise was not created, and in fact the final conclusion of The Good Place seems to be that such a paradise is impossible even in concept. After all, cut away the underbrush and the heroes' solution to the problem afflicting The Good Place was to offer the choice of suicide. And while the penultimate episode suggests that perhaps just having the option will suffice to stave off the ennui of eternal bliss, the finale refuses to accept that out. Every human character, eventually, kills themselves. Their happy ending is that they are content to die. The best possible paradise is one where people can and do eventually choose to erase themselves from existence. Skip over the beatific forest setting and the stipulation of emotional contentment, and that's a rather melancholic, if not outright grim, conclusion. It's easy to draw a parallel between the last episode and the need for fans to accept the voluntarily-chosen end of a great show like The Good Place (it's even easier to draw it to the need to accept our own mortality). But another recurrent theme in The Good Place is the failure of systems. Over and over again, the systems the characters find themselves in are revealed to be either malfunctioning or outright designed to immiserate them. From the very beginning, Eleanor and Chidi confront the brutal harshness of the points system, which results in nearly all people being horrifically tortured for eternity (incidentally, that Chidi isn't immediately repelled by -- and suspicious of -- this set-up is a rare miscue in terms of characterization, if not plotting). They resolve to try and improve Eleanor, only to find out that they're actually in a perpetual torture chamber which will literally reset every time they come close to escaping it. At this point, the series becomes a repeated effort to find ever-higher levers in the celestial bureaucracy that can be appealed to. They find a judge, who is at best indifferent to their predicament and not particularly interested in helping them. Upon returning to earth, they discover first that they can't ever improve enough to enter The Good Place (because -- knowing the stakes -- their motivations are corrupt) and then that nobody can successfully enter The Good Place because existence has become too interwoven and morally interdependent for anyone to satisfy the standard of admission. They meet the actual Good Place committee, who are worse than useless and content to let everyone suffer forever because taking any concrete action risks violating some procedural norm. And when they finally enter The Good Place, they discover it's as dysfunctional as everywhere else -- gradually sucking the life out of its residents who, given eternity, eventually tire of everything. All the systems fail. All of them are doomed to fail. They can't not. Hence, the suicide gate (and sidenote: If The Good Place ever has a spin-off series -- and lord knows it shouldn't -- it should definitely involve exploring the first murder in the Good Place when someone gets involuntarily shoved through that archway). By the time it reaches its conclusion, The Good Place is one of the few depictions of the afterlife to take the concept of eternity seriously. Some other venues glance in this direction. Agent Smith in The Matrix tells Neo that humans reject a simulation of paradise -- the implication is because we're diseased, but perhaps also indicating that perfect, eternal happiness ... isn't. Maya Rudolph's other afterlife vehicle, Forever, certainly touches on this theme. The Order of the Stick has an afterlife where people can eat all the food and have all the sex and otherwise satisfy all the "messed-up urges you people have leftover after having your soul stuck in a glorified sausage all your life". But this is only the "first tier" of heaven: once you're bored, you can "climb the mountain" to search for a higher level of spiritual satisfaction. And while what this entails is left vague, it is not death -- those who ascend can, if they wish, descend back down to the lowlier pleasures (OOTS also introduces the very neat concept of "Postmortum Time Disassociation Disorder"). But the story which provides perhaps the most powerful foil to The Good Place's view of eternity and immortality is (and of the approximately 143,000 Good Place retrospectives being written right now, I bet I'm the only one to make this comparison) Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. The ultimate adversary in HPMOR is not Snape, or Malfoy, or Voldemort. It is death, and Harry is committed to the "absolute rejection of death as the natural order." The message on the Potters' gravestone is, after all, "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" (and it's a sign of my cloistered Jewish upbringing that I thought this was a Rowling original -- it is in fact a quote from I Corinthians). Harry Potter wants people to live forever. And the story anticipates the objection, placed in the mouth of Dumbledore, "What would you do with eternity, Harry?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Meet all the interesting people in the world, read all the good books and then write something even better, celebrate my first grandchild's tenth birthday party on the Moon, celebrate my first great-great-great grandchild's hundredth birthday party around the Rings of Saturn, learn the deepest and final rules of Nature, understand the nature of consciousness, find out why anything exists in the first place, visit other stars, discover aliens, create aliens, rendezvous with everyone for a party on the other side of the Milky Way once we've explored the whole thing, meet up with everyone else who was born on Old Earth to watch the Sun finally go out, and I used to worry about finding a way to escape this universe before it ran out of negentropy but I'm a lot more hopeful now that I've discovered the so-called laws of physics are just optional guidelines."

The last few episodes of The Good Place are, in a sense, a calling of this bluff. Even if you play out the string all the way to extinguishment of the sun or the heat death of the universe -- well, forever is a long time. It can wait. Harry argues that the only reason we accept death is because we're used to it, and if you took someone who lived in a world where there was no death and asked them if they'd prefer to live in a universe where eventually people ceased to exist, they'd look at you like you're crazy. The Good Place provocatively argues the precise opposite -- that if death didn't exist, people would have to invent it. Or they would go crazy, with infinite time on their hands. And so we are, perhaps, back to where we started. The paradise the heroes create is certainly better than that which they replaced. But it still is deeply, tragically flawed -- and The Good Place seems to believe that these flaws are fundamentally inescapable. The suicide option is the clearest manifestation of how cracked paradise must be, but there is another issue that the show alludes to: paradise depends on other people, and on their choices. Way back in the first season, "Real Eleanor" raises this precise point: if her soulmate doesn't love her, "this will never truly be my Good Place." Sure it's actually a contrivance to torture Chidi, but it's easy to imagine it as real. What if your paradise is to live blissfully with a certain special someone and ... that person doesn't love you back? Both Simone and Tahani seem okay with Chidi and Jason respectively choosing someone other than them (Eleanor and Janet). But that's in harmony with the audience's happy ending. It's not hard to imagine a different world where they were less sanguine about it. Or take a far more direct problem: If paradise comes with a suicide option, what happens if your loved one takes it? Harry's excited declaration of all the things he'd do with infinite time is not fundamentally, the reason why he desires immortality. When push comes to shove, he's motivated by a far more basic yearning: to make it so "people won't have to say goodbye any more." Eleanor's utter panic at the thought of losing Chidi forever was, for me at least, the most visceral emotional gut-punch of the entire series -- even more than the finale of season three (at least there, we could be reasonably assured their separation was temporary). She eventually comes to terms with it. But sit on it a little more: imagine a "paradise" where your soulmate has left you forever. People fantasize about heaven to be reunited with their loved ones, yet we end up looping right back into eternal separation. What kind of paradise is this, where people still have to say goodbye? So we have two problems that seem to threaten even the conceptual coherency of a paradise:

First, if paradise is forever, eventually everything will become tired. That suicide is presented as a good solution to this problem shows just how serious it is (and, for what it's worth, I'm not sure the suicide "option" would necessarily bring relief. It could easily generate crippling anxiety -- a sense of trappedness between the irrevocable permanence of death and the unbearable ennui of existence). 

Second, if paradise depends on the choices other people make, how can we be sure they'll make choices compatible with your happy ending?

The Good Place presents the first problem as unavoidable and skates past the second entirely. But could they be overcome? Maybe. In the penultimate episode of The Good Place, one solution proposed to the problem of eternal ennui is to reset people's memories, so the things that bored them become fresh again. This is swiftly rejected as a repetition of how the quartet was tortured in The Bad Place. Too swiftly, in my view. Neighborhoods were also used to torture -- should those be jettisoned too? The problem with eternity is that eventually, everything gets repetitive. Go-Kart Racing against monkeys may be a blast the first time, but it loses its luster after a million reiterations. The wistfulness comes from wishing one could go back to that initial burst of discovery and experience -- before one had the memory of doing it all over again. This was my immediate solution to the ennui problem -- not that some demon should periodically reset you, but that you should be able to choose when, where, and how to reset yourself. It's not just about going back in time. It's reoccupying any memory state you've ever possessed. Go back to before you ever raced against monkeys -- then zoom forward to when you've already experienced all the monkey-races you could handle. It's like a load/save system for your mind. Hell, you can even adjust the "difficulty" level. It's true that, for many, a "paradise" where one simply automatically gets whatever one wants will feel unsatisfying. But one needn't set the parameters of paradise to guarantee success. It can be as hard or easy as one wants; people can be as pliant or obstinate as one likes (not for nothing is one of the afterlife attractions in OOTS -- a fantasy roleplaying-based setting -- "The Dungeon of Monsters That Are Just Strong Enough to Really Challenge You"). Or dream bigger. If one has infinite ability to reverse and remake memory as one wishes, then one could at any point adapt any set of memories one ever could have had. Don't just live a different life, remember a different life. Then jump forward and remember all the different lives you lived -- each of which (when you lived them) you had erased the memories of all the others. Every single possible timeline is lived -- and can be relived in all its glory, as many times as one wants. For me, at least, this dissolves the problem of others' choices as well. If anyone can make not just any possible choice, but live through any possible timeline, what does it mean to ask which one is "real"? If your paradise involves loving and being loved by a particular someone, will in your paradise, the person you need to love you, loves you, and stays with you as long as you need. In their paradise, they might love someone else. You enjoy a timeline where people choose exactly the choices that would make you most happy; they live in a timeline which is the same for them. Of course, the sorts of philosophical questions that would raise (among others: What does it mean for the "same" person to simultaneously exist across multiple timelines? Who, exactly, is "choosing" which version they occupy? And if the one that does choose doesn't choose a timeline that involves them loving you back, is the version that does love you really "them"?) are even more esoteric and less accessible to a network audience than the moral philosophy questions The Good Place did try to introduce. So I don't blame them for skipping by it.

* * *

The last enemy to be defeated may not, after all, be death. It may be time.  Time ruins all things. Eventually you run out of it. And even if you never ran out of it -- you had infinite time -- it would defeat you in a different way: via boredom, repetition, and ennui. We can, perhaps, imagine a world where we vanquish death. But can we imagine one where (forgot about possibility, and just think conceptually) we defeat time? I can. Barely, but I can. Of course, it's in many ways a moot point, since I'm profoundly skeptical that humanity ever will master time in this way -- or even if it's practically possible (that it won't happen in my lifetime is actually less material, given that if it ever did happen we'd probably be at Omega Point anyway). But at least it holds out the possibility of an actual happy ending -- where the last enemy is truly vanquished, and nobody has to say goodbye. via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2GK19Yo