#i haven't created anything in a while

[donghyuckkies]

hi i'm alive 🧍

[uneedme]

SHINEE SONGS AS MOVIE TITLE CARDS

[waywardmillennial]

Puppet History Trailer Breakdown

The PH season seven trailer dropped on Watcher TV today and I'm going to try to break it down New Rockstars style - so settle in because this is a long one!

disclaimer: I am an oxymoron of a human who notices lots of details and misses other clues - so I might not have caught everything but I tried!

[s7 trailer easter eggs and spoiler-y thoughts under the cut]

The trailer opens with the Professor looking at the billboard for Phorgedytol, the tagline of which reads "(something) WITH YOUR BRAIN"

[note: this is different to the Phorgedytol billboard we see at the end of the trailer that reads "FRENCH THE VOID!"]

the first shot of Ryan in the trailer is from the episode with Aria Inthavong

behind them on the bookshelf you can see what I think is a brachiosaurus (from the late Jurassic era), a pair of alpacas, and the Genie lamp very prominently displayed!

then we cut to this interaction Ryan: How long has it been since we've been in class? to which the Professor gives a very non-committal "Uhhhh...."

[Interesting, no? Possible side-effect of the Professor taking Phorgedytol maybe?]

then we cut to guest Alex Song-Xia with a possibly foreboding comment

[this probably has no lore implications but I like that there's a framed copy of this photo that Ryan tweeted in 2021 on the set]

the trailer continues with the Professor talking to the guests

then the trailer cuts to what could be a major lore drop with Ryan saying, "You keep my wife's name out of your god damn mouth!" as he marches to the theater to slap the Professor

[notice how this is in black and white -that's the trailer edit not mine- so perhaps this is a flashback of some kind? Maybe to something that happened to make the Professor want to take Phorgedytol?]

Remember in s6 Ryan and the Professor were friends (see: the JC Penney photoshoot) so seeing a moment like this in the trailer is, for lack of a better phrase, a slap in the face

Based on what all the guests are wearing in the trailer it looks like The Slap will happen in Claudia's episode, based on the shot right before Ryan gets out of the chair (their reaction face is gorgeous btw)

we get a great out of context line from Sara Rubin

and the Professor talking about his anatomy with Brennan

Then the Lore Drop Hits

[yeah the rest of this was just a drop in the bucket in this trailer tbh]

The cuts happen fairly fast with overlapping VO - I posted most of the main shots earlier and there are some shots of the history skits that I skipped to focus on the Lore. These shots also have some alt descriptions in this post of things I noticed on the rewatch

VO Script Mysterious Puppet: No, you louse. You sops. You absolute men. Ryan: Well, this is collusion. They clearly- Professor: That's not collusion. Ryan: It's collusion! You guys fucking figured it out before this. Brennan: Just get on his wavelength, man. Professor: Get on my level! Ryan: You're just not ready for the truth!

[First reactions: The Professor is wearing a party hat for a lot of this trailer, and so is the new puppet. So they must have been at the same party. Also, the Professor is standing in front of a sign that reads "Six Nasty Seasons" even though this is the trailer for season seven. Is that from the season six wrap party? Could it also point to Phorgedytol symptoms that we're 'missing' a season?

The horse puppet looking through the door has a moustache, so is very likely not Dorothy Ruth or Stanley Melvin Murphy. Maybe DR's fiancé? This same moustachio'd horse is in the pasta scene

Hard to say which horse is walking towards The Brown Derby but fun to note that was a real chain of restaurants in LA starting in 1926]

Then the Professor meets with the new Shane character - shall we call them Patch for now?

and that's the trailer in a nutshell!

*Roll End Credits*

Other reactions:

Delighted that we get canon confirmation that the Professor goes by Connie McNasty, at least some of the time

Love that Joyce and Garrett are back this season!

The noir, old Hollywood vibes of this trailer are gorgeous and overall it looks really well-made!

I hope we get some explanation for the slap that's not Ryan and the Professor becoming enemies again

the Liza Minelli* of it all

Not too sure on many theories at this point, but I'm sure it's going to be a great (but maybe nail-biting) season!

[amogus-real-not-clickbait]

here's some benreys for y'all!!! it's meal time little ones!!!! nobody starves today. i provide

also random gordo he's here too i guess-

[agendratum]

finished remaking the original milf, my warden ruth mahariel 20 years later (or so, given the game doesn't really let you create older characters)

she's kinda hot ngl (ignore (if you can see them) the dark circles, the eyes getting bad from all that taint, the fact that she doesn't braid her hair anymore and everything else) (well actually i mean wouldn't that make her even hotter)

[localsimpissleepy]

for ship bingo heehee..... cygson...... asking on anon as if it isn't very possible to guess who I am

Jee, i wonder which mutual this is lol-

Listen, if their enemies to lovers, i'm gonna ship them (also, red and blue dynamic hello-)

This ship could either turn into “i can fix him” or “i can make him worse”, either way, if it's angsty, i'm gonna ship them either way-

This is giving just two guys hating each other's guts and started fighting, and then start making out 1 minute later-

They also seem like uncle/father figures to Jack (Crimson probably gives Jack like decent advice, while Cygnus is like “You're having guy problems? Idk try kill him or something, that's how i got Crimson”)

Side note: idk why but i thought of this clip when i saw this ship for the first time (probably an interaction between Night Swan & Cygnus):

https://youtube.com/shorts/LdoiBdNeCbM?si=cbC-hB3Paxk_rg1P

[sysig]

Now now, not too much of a voice of reason (Patreon)

[daz4i]

weirdest thing i get told is that I'm strong or resilient. girl i crumble into dust on a weekly basis. i only take the shape of a person the next day bc the wind blows me back into that. i do not want to be doing any of this

[fabcreature]

me: *desperately needs praise for the work i do or i will shatter from the heartache*

also me: *at least once a month cries and shatters from the heartache bc i'm convinced every single bit of praise i ever get is either a lie just to be nice, or misguided bc they don't realize i'm a fraud*

[steampoweredskeleton]

Holy fucking shit the upstairs neighbours are doing SOMETHING that requires dragging heavy shit back and forth, hammering, drilling, dropping heavy shit, and stomping back and forth

Good for them but also it's been like 7 hours I feel like I should check on them

[shidoukanae]

tfw you wanna draw more TME stuff but keep getting stymied by a lack of time to get anything done

[n1ebieski]

I gotta get back to low-effort drawings so I can finish literally anything else I've been working on. A little break from my hobbies doing the same hobby, but with lower stakes. I'm tired of it but I love it so

[galaxythedragonshifter]

I'm slowly realizing that browser pet games just aren't for me-

[hugintheraven]

How Bethesda fixed Vampires without realizing it

So there's a LOT of takes on vampires across media, and most of them are radically different from each other. The Elder Scrolls series has an interesting version that I haven't seen anywhere else, that incidentally fixes a bunch of lore issues with vampires, and yet Bethesda hasn't ever really leaned into any of that.

So, the issue with vampires in large RPGs like Elder Scrolls games, D&D, etc, is that a world where various elements of character building are supposed to be balanced, vampires are heavy on the upside and light on meaningful drawbacks. So in Oblivion, Bethesda completely reworked their vampires, coming at it with a blank slate:

Vampirism is a 4-stage affliction, with each stage increasing the numerous benefits of being a vampire as well as the middling drawbacks. Stage 4 brings with it all humanoid NPCs recognizing you as a ravenous monster and attacking you, basically wrecking the game. And, this is the unique part, you reduce stages by drinking blood. Being a vampire is LESSENED by doing the most vampiric thing out there, it actively makes you weaker.

And this is great. From a gameplay perspective, you vanish below ground to kill zombies/robots/whatever, and you grow stronger as the dungeon goes on. But if you don't rush through it, or if it's large, you surface having ignored your hunger for several days and have to do a whole second quest to sneak into town at night and drink blood, where the only reward is to engage with the game again. It's a drawback in the gameplay sense rather than the stats sense. And it lets game designers throw the player against weak vampires in town early on, and face dungeons full of max-bloodlust monsters later once the player knows how things work.

Meanwhile, from a lore perspective this is also great. Suddenly, it's not that vampires have to be evil, it's that they have a choice. A good person who flees their family to hide in a cave is going to starve, turning into a ravenous, uncontrolled, extremely strong monster. Someone who's comfortable sneaking around town drinking blood, meanwhile? They never lose control. They walk in the sun. They're perfectly human. Or as human as anyone can be while the blood of their neighbors flows in their veins.

And Bethesda doesn't DO ANYTHING with this. People you talk to in-game just treat it as "all vampires are evil, why would you expect anything else", when they've created a world where vampire morality is so much more interesting. The few vampires who exist in civilization that you're not supposed to kill don't really discuss their condition at all. And there's plenty of evil vampires choosing to live in caves running societies of vampires, when that makes no sense compared to basically any other way of life they could set up.

Bethesda games are a masterful disaster, in this as in everything else.

[vaspider]

While I'm writing things that I've been intending to write for a while... one of the things that I think that a lot of people who haven't been involved in like... banking or corporate shenaniganry miss about why our economy is its current flavor of total fuckery is the concept of "fiduciary duty to shareholders."

"Why does every corporation pursue endless growth?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations treat workers the way they do?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations make such bass-ackwards decisions about what's 'good for' the company?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

The legal purpose of a corporation with shareholders -- its only true purpose -- is the generation of revenue/returns for shareholders. Period. That's it. Anything else it does is secondary to that. Sustainability of business, treatment of workers, sustainability and quality of product, those things are functionally and legally second to generating revenue for shareholders. Again, period, end of story. There is no other function of a corporation, and all of its extensive legal privileges exist to allow it to do that.

"But Spider," you might say, "that sounds like corporations only exist in current business in order to extract as much money and value as possible from the people actually doing the work and transfer it up to the people who aren't actually doing the work!"

Yes. You are correct. Thank you for coming with me to that realization. You are incredibly smart and also attractive.

You might also say, "but Spider, is this a legal obligation? Could those running a company be held legally responsible for failing their obligations if they prioritize sustainability or quality of product or care of workers above returns for shareholders?"

Yes! They absolutely can! Isn't that terrifying? Also you look great today, you're terribly clever for thinking about these things. The board and officers of a corporation can be held legally responsible to varying degrees for failing to maximize shareholder value.

And that, my friends, is why corporations do things that don't seem to make any fucking sense, and why 'continuous growth' is valued above literally anything else: because it fucking has to be.

If you're thinking that this doesn't sound like a sustainable economic model, you're not alone. People who are much smarter than both of us, and probably nearly as attractive, have written a proposal for how to change corporate law in order to create a more sensible and sustainable economy. This is one of several proposals, and while I don't agree with all of this stuff, I think that reading it will really help people as a springboard to understanding exactly why our economy is as fucked up as it is, and why just saying 'well then don't pursue eternal growth' isn't going to work -- because right now it legally can't. We'd need to change -- and we can change -- the laws around corporate governance.

This concept of 'shareholder primacy' and the fiduciary duty to shareholders is one I had to learn when I was getting my securities licenses, and every time I see people confusedly asking why corporations try to grow grow grow in a way that only makes sense if you're a tumor, I sigh and think, 'yeah, fiduciary duty to shareholders.'

(And this is why Emet and I have refused to seek investors for NK -- we might become beholden to make decisions which maximize investor return, and that would get in the way of being able to fully support our people and our values and say the things we started this company to say.)

Anyway, you should read up on these concepts if you're not familiar. It's pretty eye-opening.

[neverendingford]

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