#i have wiki brain poisoning anyway.

[claudioseraph]

I have to go on a nerdass loser rant bc its insane to me how people will shit on wikis (and discourse on the actions of Fandom itself aside) but I also have to be subjected to vids about things like character heights from youtubers relatively popular in the community with unsourced information simply stating it comes from the game manuals despite the fact that it includes characters whose heights have not actually been canonically revealed (i.e. most/all characters first introduced in Tekken 6 or afterwards who have not been playable in either Tekken 8 beta) and people will eat that up because that content creator has already amassed a small following while im sitting here chewing through wires like a rat. And don't get me started on the Comments of the vid stating the most wild off the wall shit I've ever seen. Like there are some crazy unkempt wikis out there but as someone that edits the tekken wiki we at least source all the important information we put on there. Some characters Don't have ages revealed. Some don't have heights. You can't compare their in-game models because prior to tk7 Nina was listed as 5'3 and we know her ass is not 5'3 even in flats. Youtubers can release some cool informative videos but they can also get away with just blatant misinformation and no one wants to go to the wiki and see if they at least have an answer with a source because wikis all get lumped together with the worst page on them or the worst one in the same category.

[house-of-mirrors]

Also hey unrelated but. My autistic ass can only read so much wiki or trawl the Internet for Forbidden Story Information before my eyes start to glaze over. I know the *name* Dawn Machine but I never got around to doing its Sunless Sea quest (something something The Sun drives people mad??? Space is made of gods or something right? I know the giant undersea Mouth is like. A fallen god or something) anyway what I'm saying is please consider this an open offer to infodump potentially in DMs about whatever Fallen London lore is particularly itching your brain because i *will* eat that shit up like a hungry baby bird

Sorry this took a bit to get to, my grad school semester started and I was a bit all over the place. You can ask me about the forbidden story information: But Watch Out. (major spoilers under the cut for FL and sskies) Anyway without further ado, *deep breath*

The Dawn Machine is an artificial judgement built a few decades ago and is now under the jurisdiction of the admiralty. They use it as an excuse to be horrible imperialists but I don't think they actually care about the machine's consciousness beyond using it as a tool of oppression. It hates everyone and itself. It knows it shouldn't exist and that makes it angry. It wTHE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE SUN THE S- and I digress. It has a counterpart in skies called the Clockwork Sun which is in a similar situation but slowly dying and on its way to taking the whole region with it. They turn stuff to crystal or glass respectively which I'm really curious as to why, considering the White (who is like a cosmic spymaster and the main villain of the judgements, you can fight me on this it's true) is described as having "a hall of poisoned crystal." All my homies HATE the white. YOU can't oppose the white but I'm built differently. I read a single line of text in skies that teased "the war on the white" and I'm like hey get back here! You can't just drop that and leave! I hope the recent lore declassification means we'll get a story in Fallen London exploring more of it (and violence against it)

Which leads into the second point, "space is made of gods." The Judgements, the stars, whatever you call them are godlike beings at the top of the order called the great chain, which is an allegory to victorian era social hierarchy. The chain dictates how powerful you are and what your role is and you're not supposed to be allowed to change your place. Understandably this made many people very angry and is widely considered to be a bad move, etc. Anyway the judgements are more or less what it says on the label, space's judges and courts who make the laws of the universe. Light is Law. From skies, there are lines that suggest the judgements didn't choose their role either. "The chain binds us all. It is our privilege to enforce it." I want to know what happened, like did they put themselves in power a long time ago and current generations remain stuck? Interesting for how an oppressive system harms those on top too. Also, we know that they weren't always in charge. There are characters in skies (Mr Menagerie) who remember a time before they ruled. There is no divine right of kings. This system didn't always exist and it can be overthrown. They aren't gods. They're fallible as mortals with petty wars and affairs and they don't want anyone to know how many problems their society has. "As below, so above." The liberation of the night seeks to overthrow all tyrants, up to and including the stars.

In sunless skies you can interact with the sapphir'd king, the lord of the dead, whom I affectionately like to call the Sapphire'd bitch. I wrote a fic about meeting him and from that point kept talking about how I wanted to plot his demise. Then the truth ambition said "congrats. You get to plot the demise of the sapphird king" and I said "oh. Neat. Back to being a merchant while I process that for 3-5." Sure is a game! Shortly tho, once I work up the nerve, I'll be finishing the "truth" ambition in skies and so will be posting a whole thing when I do, likely incoherent. Look forward to it.

Something specific that interests me in skies is how you can interact with a character who used to be a judgement but seemingly willingly chose to descend the chain to human. She remembers being a cruel leader and is glad she is no longer, and specifically a masculine figure so like yay trans rights. But we already know I have strong feelings towards beings that used to be stars 🙈

Now as for the third thing I haven't played much sea but I know there's speculation the Neath was formed from the skull of a dead god. Storm, one of the zee gods, is a dead god whose consciousness lingers and is angry because it knows it's dead. We see this in skies as well, the "bones of a star" which are large enough to encompass London, whose mind lingers in a ghost, angry to be dead.

I could go into some of the other stellar characters we learn about in skies but I'll save that for another post and more organized thoughts.

I typed up this stream of consciousness rant while in a swimming pool. Hope it's what you were looking for! I have Head full Many thoughts about the judgements all the time all the time

[hexjulia]

I was curious about the natural environment the morning glory i'm growing from seed is from, so i started by reading the wiki page and leared something strange;

"Toxic treatments aimed at discouraging entheogenic use edit

Commercial seeds are sometimes treated with toxic methylmercury (although the use of methylmercury has been banned in the US and the UK since the 1980s), which serves as a preservative and a cumulative neurotoxic poison that is considered useful by some to discourage recreational use of the seeds as an entheogen (hallucinogen). There is no legal requirement in the United States to disclose to buyers that seeds have been treated with a toxic heavy metal compound.[5] According to the book Substances of Abuse, in addition to methylmercury, the seeds are claimed to be sometimes coated with a chemical that cannot be removed with washing that is designed to cause unpleasant physical symptoms such as nausea and abdominal pain. The book states that this chemical is also toxic.[6]"

That's insane! I had no idea you could even get high from Moring Glory. But treating seeds with a cumulative neurotoxic poison (cumulative!!!) is surely worse than allowing people any kind of high? Especially if it is undisclosed; at that point it's clearly not about scaring people out of engaging in unwanted behaviour. That seems like it's about punishing people for a perceived moral fault with brain damage.

I wonder how reliable this information is. It seems so outlandish. How good is a morning glory high, anyway?

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Can I have a random history fact that you really like for some reason? I want to annoy my family with history facts. If you have a list that’d be amazing infodump on me-

oh my god ok sO

i'd say a favorite would be, because TR could be such a FUCKING IDIOT, he was at this little formal reception right? And he was speaking with Mark Hanna, and accompanying Hanna was a Frenchwoman named Henriette Adler. And TR was so enthusiastic and energetic in his speaking (in rapid French) that his arm started to get closer to her bodice (almost destroying it/knocking it off.). But INSTEAD, this DUMBASS proceeded to accidentally elbow a silk rose and some gauze off. He started apologizing profusely but did NOT STOP THE WAR RHETORIC in FRENCH and thankfully it was fixed by someone getting a safety pin.

But that was. So. Not okay 😭😭 it was recreated in a Rough Riders 2 part tv mini-series and it's so embarrassing each time I watch istg

NEXT okay this is gonna seem rlly not-detailed but when you have a PDF of a TR book you can get details mkay

so like Alice Roosevelt, badass bitch, smoked while she was a teen. Okay?? Well I was reading a book on her and TO MY SURPRISE she let her 13 YEAR OLD BROTHER (Kermit) smoke a cigar with her. IS THAT NOT- okay im- a little bit OUT THERE but i digress

Also the entire Bisexual JFK theory is. Very very believable but I WILL NOT GET INTO THAT but tbh he probably was BUT ANYWAY

Also wanted to mention this list on wiki exists

And the GHWB incident is that this mf, AS THE PRESIDENT, vomited and then fainted on THE PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN AT THE TIME. america has the stupidest stories ever i swear to god

This next one, which is also stupidly funny as fuck to me but also hella messed up, is that, okay, so TR had a riding accident when he was younger when Alice was still a tiny toddler. And he returned home with fucked clothing, a broken arm, and a bloody face. Like he looked like he was a murderer mk. And he, yknow, sees his daughter, goes running to her. She fucking SCREAMS. this man is NOT her father who is this RED MAN GET HIM AWAY WHAT THE HELL.

But he catches her and he's all bloody and sweaty and she is SCREAMING so he. Guess what. Does not put her down. Does not try to CALM HER DOWN.

He SHAKES HER. and im sorry but the image 😭 bloody ass TR shaking his daughter like a rattle im sorry

but when she DOES NOT CALM DOWN AS ONE WOULD NOT AND SCREAMS LOUDER, he SHAKES HER HARDER. i cannot make this shit up

im

i

oh my god anyways

also you likely know this but when it was thought that tomatoes were poisonous, Thomas Jefferson really ate one in front of people and they thought he was dying but when he was fine they were like "..... what the fuck"

Aaron Burr also lit himself on fire TWICE

Burr also bought a coconut for like 70 dollars or smth

(im just listing shit i know i cant think of any faves rn my brain blanked as soon as i read ur ask)

!! A favorite WOULD be that TR killed a man with his bare hands and was like rlly pumped about it but you already know that

And when some of his men were like 'we are NOT going up hill no ohmg' he was like 'DO IT OR I KILL YOU MYSELF' and they, yknow, ran up the hill

because. that is. threatening

I also would like to mention the insanity that was Lincoln liking cats and Lincoln growing a beard because a child more or less said he was ugly without one and Lincoln also maybe being bisexual

JFK's nickname by his wife, Jackie, was Bunny, bc apparently he fucked like a rabbit hjkglkmhklhkmkljk

Buchanan (James Buchanan, yknow, a president) might've been gay

Thomas Jefferson also called John Adams a hermaphrodite and i find that funny but also like. why. wh. where did you get that

Also this isnt a history fact but if i wanted to i could probably gaslight someone into thinking Andrew Jackson was on bathsalts bc a podcast i was watching mocked him by saying he was on bathsalts and tbh. accurate

Jefferson also had a ram on the White House grounds and did not get rid of it until AFTER it either harmed or killed a little boy

Harry S Truman and Ulysses S Grant both have an S as their middle name, but both of those S's mean nothing. Neither. Crazy that both S mean absolutely nothing

Grant's first name was also Hiram!!

Truman and his wife also needed to replace a bed during the white house cause they may or may not have *slams barbies together* so hard that they broke the bed

I'd also like to say the William Howard Taft bathtub myth is false klhmkhmj but ALSO i find it rlly sweet how, during TR's funeral, he was sobbing because, even tho TR was bitter during him for their last few years, Taft still considered TR a friend, and when Archie (TR's second youngest son--youngest at his funeral, as Quentin died in 1918) noticed him sobbing he was like 'come over here, you're a family friend.'

i forget the exact line but it was something close to that effect. So even though TR held a grudge, his kids didn't.

Apparently TR and Edith also fought like their entire marriage over how to pronounce Tomato and I'd like to know how he pronounced it cause wtf do you mean

ALSO for once it is not American BUT: Winston Churchill and his wife, Clementine, had nicknames for each other. Animal nicknames. His was Pig. I forget hers but. Really. P i g .

She also once threw a plate of something (asparagus or smth i dont remember) at his face and it instead hit the wall so like bad bitch moment

And finally:

all of our presidents were DUMBASSES <3

(also the Hoover Dam is named after Herbert Hoover, not J. Edgar Hoover, i think that's a common misconception.)

OH the Roosevelts also had a pet racoon for a period of time. so whenever i see something reference the Coolidge's pet racoon, Rebecca, I want to be like 'yknow the roosevelts had one pre-white-house days'

i hope thats enough idk

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

So,

I’d like to talk about Zero. Major Zero. Just as I threatened said, I would. Zero absolutely fascinates me on so many levels.

My headcanon essays aren’t rants. I do want to make that clear. I write them because I adore these characters. The good, the bad, the confusing, and all the messes in between. If nothing else, these can all largely be summed up as: LOOK HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS. LOOK HOW MUCH FUN I’M HAVING.

Anyway.

Given that every MGS character gives me an ungodly amount of brain worms, that’s not hard. It’d be so easy to say he’s ‘a well done villain’ and leave it. But I’m the sort of person who sorta treats MGS characters like this, even the most mindlessly evil ones.

Because to me personally, I see them as complicated in motivation, in personality. They are not good people *save a genuine handful throughout the series*. I don’t believe they were written, nor intended to be, and I genuinely appreciate them in all their grey and black glory. I like that you aren’t hand-fed characters personalities, that they change and alter over time the way people would adapt to their situations, their worlds. And that at the end of the day, their war criminals in a war machine and (save for maybe Huey) willing to admit or at the very least somewhat understand.

(I’d also note that a story protagonist does not have to be a good, nor innocent person, but I already think that MGS handles that perfectly well in general) Regardless, my focus here is still on Major Zero. Who I think managed to end up being one of the most terrifying characters in the series. Which is saying a lot, considering the rooster of people we’re dealing with. Also pretty impressive considering the man is essentially comatose after 1976. Right up until Big Boss pulls his life support in 2014.

But that doesn’t negate the system he created, the projects he invented, and the intense sway he had over both people, and information for decades before that. It’s also worth considering that he was working with people like, Skull Face. Sure, Zero makes some claims about not knowing how off the rails or dangerous Skull Face was, but I’d also like to point out that the Vocal Chord Parasite wasn’t originally Skull Face’s creation.

It was Zero’s. Or, to be more specific, the will of his predecessors.

Essentially, Skull Face ended up taking an already pre-existing entity his superiors had created, and turned it into a beast beyond which they’d comprehended themselves. Skull Face also poisons Zero around this time with the fake pin badge. Something disguised as a gift, as Zero’s paranoia had him in deep hiding himself. (All messages via cut out, after all).

In the MGS Fandom Wiki, Cipher is defined as follows:

Cipher is responsible, in series for the following:

Les Enfants Terribles

Peace Walker

Ground Zeroes (I will note here that this was not Zero himself, but Skull Face after having gone rogue. Any incidence after that had nothing to do with Zero himself, I’ll note them only for the specifics of the organization at large)

The Phantom Pain (Vocal Chord Parasite, Attempted Annihilation/Genocide of Humans via biochemical warfare)

And by the 2000′s, Cipher is largely AI controlled alone.

Zero’s real specialty is in controlling information, I pointed it out here, but I want to go into much more detail in this post. Because while it might not seem like much, there’s a great deal of implication to information control, and it has a very real component in society today. There is no stretch to believe governments can control information, and while MGS is fictional, the things Zero does certainly have some real world basis.

He covers up the Ground Zero’s attack, and freely admits not everyone bought the story. (Sorry for using links here it’s too easy to hit image limit on this website). When speaking in the tapes to Skull Face, he’s fairly candid since, at this point, he trusts Skull Face as his XO and we get some general insight into how he views people and their own beliefs.

There’s a quiet arrogance to this statement I personally can’t fathom, but can imagine someone who truly believes himself in a position where he’s got people all figured out. Seems to believe that the world operates on a hive-mind that he can feed provided he and his network are in charge of that hive mind.

Now, I don’t feel like Cipher’s desire to unite the world is inherently a bad thing. A world where we are all equal, regardless of country, birth, status, race, sexuality. In this Zero is not so different from others. The MSF, Diamond Dogs, FoxHound. All of these entities surpass the ideology of nations being borders, and take people as people.

Where it gets out of hand and out of control (much as Big Boss himself would later in life with the concept of Outer Heaven) is that in Zero’s perfect world, someone is still in charge. People are told what to do, how to think, how to behave and how to operate. So people are united under a single banner, but that banner has people like Zero at the helm, and within that helm, are a bunch of suppressed people without free will.

THAT is where the issue arises. Interestingly enough, I don’t know if I can cast Zero in the light as some power-hungry dictator. What makes Zero so complicated (and by extension so scary) is his desire isn’t driven because he wants people bowing and kowtowing at his feet, but because he seems to honestly, genuinely believe he’s doing what the Boss wanted. Because, as it is with Big Boss, Zero seems to have held some mild obsession with her (and his own obsession with Big Boss), to have her dream carried out. Even though, much like Big Boss, Zero misunderstood it entirely.

It’s also telling that, for as immoral as Ocelot is, and as ruthless, there is one distinction he can make from Zero. Ocelot, fundamentally understands and even seems to value that people are people.

That machines breed nothing but trouble in the long run if they are going to think FOR you. (MGS4 turns a lot of this into a more muddled mess, but that’s a different post and more complicated than I can sum up here, but I still believe Ocelot was intentionally bringing down the system in MGS4, so, anyway).

For all Zero’s talk, his desires, he seems to fail to recognize that humans are going to be humans. Messy, complicated. Confusing. Does Zero over simply humans? Hard to say. But I don’t think he values them very much.

Like Ocelot, however, this is also something Skull Face understands as well.

Skull Face.

Something something “worst person you know made a good point’ meme here.

Because whether Zero likes it or not, people are going to think for themselves. In a larger scale, that is part of what separates humans from animals. We have the brain power, the capacity, to think and behave for ourselves.

Humans do appreciate structure, but they do not appreciate that structure being mitigated by someone who denotes himself as being able to speak for others. Because in the end, what gave Zero that right? It isn’t like the Boss said, “Here, Zero, carry out my legacy.” he apparently came to these conclusions, these decisions, on his own.

There’s something so strange about Zero’s world view. He wants, essentially, to end individualism entirely. Blank faces, blank slates. Utterly meaningless. A gathering of NPC’s. And that will somehow bring the world peace. Again, uniting people is not a bad thing, but people can be united AND have free will. and their own individualism.

I mentioned it in my Les Enfants Terribles post, but again, I’ll expand here. Going on what was said above, Zero seems to have little regard for people overall. But he’s not nearly as docile as he presents himself. He speaks in an even, cordial tone that’s very symbolic of the ‘classic British upper crust’ that became stereotypical of British elites at one time or another, but he makes it very clear that the politeness only goes so far.

He’s incredibly manipulative, to start with. But what makes that fascinating to me is it’s subtly. A lot of what Zero says has a thinly-veiled threat behind it reminding you that for all his posh words and hand-painted tea cups, he’s a combat vet (SAS), an intelligence agent, and intellectually on the same level of manipulation as Ocelot.

See this post for the Ocelot tapes. (I’m already running out of image limits here)

How many people can genuinely claim, within the series, to be able to manipulate, much less threaten, Ocelot?

Kaz doesn’t get off scott-free either, but Zero is far more condescending with Kaz, and less willing to toy.

Not entirely sure how many ways someone could take that, but. Ok.

Except I’m not sure how truthful Zero is being here. as he knows the attack was Skull Face and was, up to this point, working with Skull Face. I COULD argue that he’s keeping Kaz safe from Skull Face, but I’m not sure about that. Mostly because of this conversation from the Skull Face and Zero recording:

I can feel your brimming confidence in Kaz from here, Zero *sarcasm*.

So what is the truth? Honestly..not sure.

Returning to the Kaz and Zero recording:

And Kaz and Ocelot start working together because Zero said so.

At this point, Venom Snake has already been created. A large part of this set up apparently is to get Kaz..to Venom. So not only is Zero manipulating him, but he’s convienently leaving out that the Snake Kaz is going to return to, is going to be another man. The double.

Played like a damned fiddle indeed.

He’s more blunt and talks to Kaz like he’s a whiny child (using his full name, threatening to hang up and then attempting to appeal a bit to his humanity to pacify him). I do regret that again, screen caps are unable to convey tone, but all of these tapes are incredibly well voice acted and you get the message very well.

Anyone can threaten, anyone can make all the statements they please, but Zero is fully willingly, and able, to carry those threats out. Enough so that Ocelot and Kaz are both aware of this, and behave accordingly.

Thinking about that, and how Zero has enough power to keep even Ocelot under thumb (at this point in the mid 1970′s at least) is a very good symbol of how strong, all seeing and all powerful he is. It worries them because it SHOULD worry them. That is the kind of unfathomable control Zero has at this point in time. Even though he knows it’s going to slip away, hence passing control over to Donald Anderson (Sigint). So while Zero himself won’t be in charge, he’s left enough instructions that what he wants to have happen in the world will continue, because that’s the sort of influence he’s got.

And ability.

When Zero was attacked, he was able to escape and take over New York, temporarily.

I think what ends up being further insidious is that Zero’s reach extends far beyond all this. Even after Zero is left virtually comatose from Skull Face’s attack, it hardly matters. Because programs put forth long before any of that happen play out exactly as he planned it. Sigint is able to take over Cipher under the AI’s and eventually the third Les Enfants Terribles child, Solidus Snake, George Sears, is made President of the United due to the will of the Patriots/Cipher.

That same program of course ends up ousting him later on. And responsible for large portions of the MGS2 story. And it’s that same program that eventually becomes the very web-controlled information network that has created the absolutely bleak setting of MGS4.

All because a man with a seemingly unfathomable desire to unify humans under the faceless, the controlled in the belief that he was following the will of a another, and could never accept that he was not only wrong about that will, but that his friend, his buddy, was still a human being. And that he too was a human being.

Obviously, we’ll never get any true insight into how Zero was thinking in regards to all of his motivations. And I do think that his feelings for his friends, and people he did care about *when he could even consider them people in the first place*, was genuine. When he says ‘Wake up soon, old friend” I do think he legitimately does see Snake as a friend. In whatever twisted, bizarre way that may be.

i think he was clever, arrogant, a touch naive and a well done antagonist. I think that the snippets and bits and pieces we get did work well for the purpose of the story, as it would be easy to overuse him and make him cartoonish. So the balance is achieved pretty well. MGS can go over the top sometimes, but in this case, I don’t think they did. I think that there’s much to chew on with Zero, because for all that he is polite, he’s deadly, dangerous, and someone you fervently would never, ever want to cross.

A bit on the nose, but Ocelot sums it all up pretty nicely here, doesn’t he?

[ajdrawshq]

OH SWEET I was honestly thinking abt Garmadon gaining some of the ninja's hearts like that but wasnt sure if that was like,,, smth that lined up w his morals lmao and. god when u put it That way it sounds so fucked up i love it so much,,

And yeah, the thing ur thinking about for Zane is the drive forms!! He definitely seems the type to utilize those more than anyone - OH on that thought, him customizing his keyblade reminds me of the mechanics in kh3 where u can upgrade them, and in kh days where equiping different "gears" can completely change the playstyle of ur keyblade (which was one of the coolest things in the game ngl). Recoded does something similar as well i think, which.. well, makes sense. Did NOT expect Kai to be the magic-heavy fighter but thats so epic of him actually?? Maybe he can use zettaflare lmao and it sounds like Cole is,,, honestly pretty similar to Terra, tho possibly faster than him? And Jay's is comparable to Ven if not most of the classic kh protags(tm), tho Nya seems to fit their (default) balanced styles more. Since Jay is into engineering tho, he could also make use of some of the mechanics i mentioned earlier for Zane maybe? I have No idea what to say abt Lloyd either tho for his fighting strengths, despite him having been my favorite back in the day.. man.

Ur right abt AP being the resource (or whatever ur supposed to call that) for abilities! Thats a great way for Nya to stand out and give her a HELL of an edge, since u usually cant use most of ur abilities without using a bunch of AP boosts which is a Pain early game, it can really make or break u sometimes. The thing used for drive forms in kh2 is the drive guage (the stuff u collect is just called orbs i think) so Zane would pretty much start off with a bigger guage limit than whoever else uses that - likely 4 or smth, bc im pretty sure u start with 2 in kh2? Yeah lets go with that. And the idea of Lloyd having boosted summons (i think thats what u meant? Could also be something like uh.. shit theres a mechanic in bbs thats not exactly a summon but like u can have different forms based on ur friends n stuff i forgot what its called) is like?? So cool?? What the hell ive never even thought of that before but it fits so well?? Give him an ability that boosts his duration further plus boosted summon power or smth like that and hes gonna be a force to be reckoned with omg, especially depending on who u call upon

AND LIKE?? RIGHT?? I mean not that those elements are rare in media but shit dude the matched up pretty well, some of em even make up the main three of the og spells (fire, blizzard, thunder). For Lloyd i was wondering if Light/Holy magic would work for him, but thats more based on color coordination w the whole gold ninja thing that happened if i remember that right,, and yeah, summons really are just kinda their own thing?? Although usually u obtain some sort of item for each of them in the 3 main games, unsure abt bbs - but either way that sounds like the perfect thing for him all things (read: the Power of Friendship (Lloyd is legit just a kh protag huh)) considered!!

Getting a mix of recommendations based on both mine and my mutuals' interests is funny sometimes bc itll be like ah yes i love the destiny trio! Riku, Kairi, and uh (squints)

Oh yeah the one chosen by the keyblade! Jay Walker

[clarenecessities]

As my followers may have picked up from my long, spiraling rants, I’ve undertaken a new research project, courtesy of the death grip She-Ra has on my brain. And guess what? It’s finally at Disseminate Information Stage! So I’m going to lay out all of the gods, demigods, and godbeasts of the Masters of the Universe. With sources!

This table is more of a cheat sheet. We’re gonna tackle this god by god, with a section on Actual Lore & a meta section to help you decide how valid you think they are, because frankly some canons are more canon than others.

Asklepia, Benevolent Snake Goddess

Lore: Asklepia is one of two snake goddesses, the benevolent twin sister of Serpentia. We know very little about her abilities, but the Snake Clan (a clan of human warriors) were said to worship her, and they were famed for their architecture and healing. She had the ability to curse and deform people--to what extent is uncertain, but she’s known to have condemned a fallen priest named Ka, whose disfigured likeness now adorns Snake Mountain.

Behind the Scenes: First appearing in the 1987 comic “Il Nero Cristallo Del Potere“, Asklepia remained nameless for over 30 years, until Masters of the Universe Classics (MOTUC) released a few choice bios. For the unfamiliar, MOTUC seeks to reconcile the often contradictory canons into one overarching narrative, which is great in theory, but in practice is kind of like putting ice cream on a hot dog. And calling it a Chilly Dog ® as if that makes it taste better. But I digress. In 2019 they released a bio for the Staff of Ka which finally put a name to the less-evil Snake Goddess, in an obvious nod to Asclepius and the asklepian (that staff+snake icon people put on medical stuff).

Sharella, the Green Goddess and/or “Avatar” of Asklepia

Lore: Contradictory

Long Version: Okay I’ve put avatar in quotes because it is... contentious. Basically, and you’ll see here why I felt the need to make this post instead of relying blindly on the wikis, Sharella was introduced (in the ‘87 licensing guide) as a tribal leader who had joint custody of Gray, the original name of He-Ro’s alter ego, while he was growing up. This was further developed by Emiliano Santalucia’s concept work, wherein she was the leader of the Green Tiger Tribe (GTT) specifically. While the comic concept was not run through licensing & is thus not “canon”, the idea of her leading the GTT persisted. This teeny tiny image of her from Tytus and Megator’s 1987 Italian box art was all we had until 2008, when one of He-Man’s accessories described her as the “warrior woman ally” of Queen Veena, “who had been changed into the immortal green-skinned avatar of the Goddess Asklepia”. In 2009, MOTUC released a figure for The Goddess, apparently forgetting they’d done that shit the year before because the packaging did say “K’yrulla” was her real name. They had to cover it up with a sticker. 

So who’s The Goddess? Way back in the days before Mattel solidified any of the lore around MOTU, there were mini-comics released with the toys. Initially, the Goddess served a similar function to the Sorceress in the cartoon, and was in fact sometimes called the Sorceress. She facilitated He-Man’s transformations, gave him missions, was generally magical and mysterious, etc. If you know who the Sorceress is, and you can picture Teela, but green? That’s about it.

Back to Sharella, though. The Third Ultimate Battleground rolled around in 2015, and for the first time since some packaging in the 80s, we saw Sharella in action! She was shot through the heart with a poison arrow. Yeah. But don’t worry, she received a blood transfusion from Moss Man (who we’ll get to later), and was transformed into the Green Goddess! She’s immortal now. How Asklepia figures in here is sort of unclear, which is weird since this is still part of the MOTUC line, but whatever. Whatever! Queen Grayskull (the aforementioned Veena) received a bio in 2015 as well, which described Sharella as her apprentice who became “The Goddess”.

Horokoth, Aspect of the Mother Goddess

Lore: DC went a little batshit (pun intended) with the lore for the Eternity War. Here the Goddess is three combined aspects, “Serpos” (Serpentia) for the Snake Men, Zoar for the human “Eternians”, and a third, invented deity called Horokoth, who represents the Horde. Horokoth is “the coming destroyer. The darkness at the end of days.” and is represented by a bat.

Behind the Scenes: That last link has a clearer picture of her, it just didn’t crop well. Also, I confess I couldn’t bring myself to read Eternity War. As thrilling as the prospect of a cohesive narrative is, if I wanted to see Adora slit her brother’s throat there’s the edgier side of deviantArt to peruse. Therefore I know little of Horokoth outside of a few still images of Hordak. The bat was almost certainly selected for the Horde’s vespertilian emblem.

Hordeous, God-Beast of Horokoth

Lore: A “primordial”, bat-like godbeast of Horokoth, created in response to the god Saz’s feline races. Their face was “forever infused“ on the surface of Horde World by Horde Lord (Hordak and Horde Prime’s father in the MOTUC canon) to grant their family power and immortality.

Behind the Scenes: Yes they’ve used some words wrong, but they’ve got the spirit, right? Hordeous was (allegedly, this is secondhand) an invention of the MOTUC crew in answer to Horokoth. Now, the Horde Supreme bio predates Horokoth’s introduction by about 3 years, but obviously the comics were in production already. There’s an undated sketch of Horokoth Hordak from an undated interview (thanks for nothing you useless website) but in that same gallery there’s an orko sketch labeled 2012 so. We’re good right? That makes sense, timeline-wise. Anyway the comics slam dunked Horde Prime out of existence and combined him with Horde Lord so it’s contradictory anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Serpentia, Malevolent Snake Goddess

Lore: The evil counterpart of Asklepia, Serpentia is the goddess of the Snake Men. The priest Ka of the Snake Clan forsook Asklepia in her favor, destroying Asklepia’s sacred orb and stealing the Serpent Ring (an artefact capable of transforming humans into Snake Men) from the Ophidian Spire with King Hsss. In DC’s triune interpretation of the Goddess, Serpentia (here ‘Serpos’) is blood, passion, and desire. A primal and primordial force appearing to the Snake Men in their own image.

Behind the Scenes: Okay yes I’ve reused the Asklepia pic but in my defense they are twins and this is the easiest one to crop. So here’s the thing about Serpentia: we only got a name for her in 2019. We knew there was a snake goddess, and she was pretty evil, or at least hostile towards mammalian life (see: the source of the pic I chose for her). Where Asklepia references the asklepian, ‘Serpentia’ is a much more heavy-handed snake reference, even though Anguis was right there. Those Masters Mondays came through for us, though, with the shield and staff of Ka, Ssssylph, and of course MOTUC’s Dark Despot Skeletor, which is. something. Though only recently named, Serpentia has been a shadow over Eternia since the Snake Men’s introduction in 1985 (or, depending on how much of the presented backstory you accept, even sooner in the form of Skeletor’s lair, Snake Mountain).

Serpos/Sarcedon, God-Beast of Snake Mountain

Lore: Contradictory, but the gist of it is he’s a very large snake with elemental magic and a grudge, that was turned to stone and became Snake Mountain.

Long Version: Snake Mountain was conceived of towards the end of 1982, but wasn’t revealed to the public until September of 1983, with the debut of the Filmation cartoon. For another year, the snake coiled around its summit was simply a carving, its mouth hollowed out for Skeletor to stand in and loom. But in 1984 the Snake Mountain toy was released, completely discarding the Filmation design in favor of the hewn face of the figure we now call Ka. Instead of a snake carving winding its way up the peak, the Mattel toy featured a ‘striking serpent’, alive and attached to the mountain itself. From there, it was an easy leap to make to ‘this carving comes alive’. So easy, in fact, that they did it twice!

First attempted in 1985 in the newspaper storyline “Vengeance of the Viper King”, the snake was here called Sarcedon, the World Destroyer. At the dawn of time, he was said to crush Eternia within his deadly coils. He burrowed deep into the ground, causing fearsome storms that nearly destroyed the planet. Only a fearless hero (implied to be He-Ro) could defeat and imprison Sarcedon. Using a macguffin called a Mirror of History, He-Man forced Sarcedon to behold his own reflection in a reference to the Medusa myth that kind of missed the point of it being reflective. Sarcedon was sent back in time, Snake Mountain was restored, the good guys win, blah blah blah.

That was the last of it until the MYP cartoon in 2004. Serpos as a name was actually first invoked by Mer-Man in a 1982 minicomic, but like it probably wasn’t about the snake. Anyway in the MYP cartoon the Snake Men get this thing called the Medallion of Serpos that lets them un-petrify the snake around Snake Mountain, grow two more heads, and unleash his godly wrath. He breathes fire, trashes Eternos, beats up He-Man, then turns his attention on Castle Grayskull to consume the Orb of Power (containing the strength and wisdom of the Elders, who had first trapped him in stone). He-Man cuts off Serpos’s extra heads with a sword upgrade, the Elders are somehow magically restored to life, and they re-petrify him. Snake Mountain is restored, the good guys win, blah blah blah.

Zoar, the Fighting Falcon

Lore: Contradictory, but it sure is a bird!

Long Version: While Sharella’s backstory is fraught because of the comics couldn’t decide what they wanted her to be, Zoar was similarly tangled up by the toyline. Initially male, he went through several color schemes, some prettier than others. Though there was a vague association with the Sorceress before the cartoon (recall that pre-Filmation, the Sorceress was just the Goddess), Filmation made them literally inseperable by designating Zoar as the Sorceress’s falcon form, to which she was confined when leaving Castle Grayskull.

Some of the comics and Golden books showed Zoar as being flipping enormous & ridden into battle as a steed by Teela and Man-at-Arms. Pre-Filmation, Zoar was always referred to as male, but post-Filmation, always female, as an incarnation of the Sorceress.

The Eternity Wars comics describe Zoar as the third aspect of the Goddess, the ‘Great Preserver’ whose light would shine through the universe for eternity. They pull off a sort of tripartite priestess thing where it’s Serpos/Zoar/Horokoth represented by Teela-Na (the Sorceress)/Teela/Evil-Lyn.

MOTUC, of course, had to reconcile all of these contradictory canons. How’d they do it? “In the folklore of Eternia, the golden falcon symbolized the godhead Zoar, a powerful deity of Preternia. As a god, Zoar could appear in both male and female guises and while the blue-tipped female falcon was associated with the Sorceress of Grayskull, the golden falcon represented Zoar's masculine nature.” So Zoar is genderfluid now, and the Sorceress is merely borrowing their form when transforming into a falcon. This bio also established that Zoar had anointed the first Sorceress, Veena (Queen Grayskull), which explains why she has wings for no apparent reason.

Also it’s not offically MOTUC but the scultors of the line, Four Horsemen, made a single anthro Zoar for Power-Con 2013. In case you need that for some reason.

Glorybird, Emissary of Zoar

Lore: Many millennia ago, there were three siblings, who were very poor and mistreated by their stepmother, but had hearts filled with kindness and love. Zoar, recognizing their resilience and desire to help people, sent an emissary named Glorybird. Glorybird bestowed upon each sibling a divine gift, but as they used their new powers to fight for good, their stepmother revealed herself to be a Celestial Witch & attempted to sacrifice them to Zoar’s “greatest enemy”, Horokoth.  

Backstory: Okay, so the Star Sisters (and Glorybird) were in exactly one episode of She-Ra, primarily to set them up as new toy designs. While prototypes were made for these, the figures weren’t actually produced until MOTUC released figures for them in 2012. Though they were referenced in Princess Prom, and we saw a brief cameo in a background, Glorybird was absent until the introduction of the Star Siblings in Season Five.

That’s right! This bird is a god, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Saz, God of All Felines

Lore: One of the “Gods of the Multiverse” (he is the only member named explicitly), Saz was a blue-furred, feline deity responsible for the creation of all cats, humanoid or otherwise. He transformed himself into an enormous cat-beast to defeat Serpos and Hordeous, whose progenitors created them in envy of his children. Though Serpos was defeated, Hordeous escaped into the cosmos, and Saz himself vanished mysteriously.

Behind the Scenes: “By the whiskers of Saz!” is a fun pseudo-swear made by various cat races throughout MOTU, first in He-Man’s “The Cat and the Spider” and later in She-Ra’s “Magicats”. That was the only real mention of him until... okay, so MOTUC bios aren’t always attached to the product. Starting in 2018, they did this thing called Masters Mondays where they put unposted bios on the org forums. So while we’ve had the sword since 2010, we didn’t get the background on it until March of 2020. And then a couple weeks later, the Cat Mask of Catra bio referred to him as a “mystical being” instead of a god, but the mask was from 2011 so. He may not have been a god yet. It really depends on when the bios were actually written.

Saz wielded a blade probably best described as a falchion, whose quillon & langet formed a vaguely triangular shape around a deep red gem. I want to be clear that while it looks totally rad, this sword would be very impractical and have poor structural integrity were it not made by a literal god. Do not make swords like this. Also it’s almost certainly riffing on the Sword of Omens from Thundercats (affectionate).

Sabe-Or, Son of Saz

Lore: A green-furred, orange-striped paladin, Sabe-Or is one of the only named Ancients. He inherited his father’s blade upon Saz’s mysterious disappearance, and lived for centuries more. Upon his death, he transferred his “heroic essence” into a group of Eternian tigers, forever transforming them into the Green Tiger Tribe, whence both Granger (steed of King Grayskull), and Cringer, steed of Prince Adam.

Behind the Scenes: So “Battle Cat Man” is a concept that’s existed since they decided to make their hero ride a wicked tiger into battle. If you show a kid a superhero, and a supertiger, apparently the natural inclination of most children in the 80s was to combine the two. There are so many custom action figures. So, so many. Sabe-Or is visually a clear reference to this concept, and canonically seems to be the closest we’re going to get outside of the Thundercats crossover, unless you count Cowarros from 4H’s Mythic Legions line (I do, because it means Purrrplor is also canon and I fucking love calling him that).

Moss Man, Ancient Eternian Nature God

Lore: An ally of King Grayskull, Moss Man was something of an Eternian cryptid in the centuries leading up to He-Man Times. He has control over all plant life, the ability to meld with plants, and apparently can imbue sentience to said plants.

Behind the Scenes: Moss Man wasn’t featured in many episodes, because he’s a little... incredibly over-powered. He’s literally Bigfoot from 5000 years ago with magic powers. And like, since I don’t think the writers appreciate how long 5000 years is, you know what happened 5000 years ago? Stonehenge. This bitch is Stonehenge-old. But sure, you can trace a direct line of descent from his contemporary. smh. Anyway according to MOTUC his real name is Kreann’Ot N’Norosh so make of that what you will. Also his toys were pine-scented. I just love that.

Evil Seed, Rebellious Creation of Moss Man

Lore: Created by Moss Man to help fight in the Great Wars, Evil Seed betrayed his master and turned to evil (who could have foreseen this...), finding joy in corrupting all forms of plant life for his own amusement. Moss Man imprisoned him in enchanted chains, keeping him restrained for many millennia.

Behind the Scenes: According to MOTUC, his real name is Sero Malustro, clumsy New Latin for “(to) plant evil-burnt“. Why his name is New Latin and Moss Man’s is... whatever that is, I have no idea. As you can see from the image I included, he originally had an artichoke head, which was upgraded for the Mike Young Productions (MYP) cartoon. Personally I think the artichoke rules.

Volcana, the Fire Goddess

Lore: Canonically, she’s a fire goddess, and the mother of the Volcano Magus. Together, they are a rising force that seeks to conquer Etheria in the wake of Hordak’s defeat.

Backstory: Volcana has taken a long a twisted journey, but was first revealed to fans at Power-Con 2016 in a panel revealing previously unseen concepts and characters. After the first wave of She-Ra toys, a second wave was planned with a snow focus, to bring more attention the Filmation-neglected Frosta. This began with the introduction of a fire villain, an “evil lady that glows with heat” who would attempt to melt Castle Chill. That concept actually refers to a character named Amber (not Ember, as one might assume) who was reworked into a benevolent counterpart, Volcana’s twin sister.

Volcana was later fleshed out to be a Fire Goddess with flame-red hair, x-ray vision, and arms sculpted with flames. Her cape flew up with flame detail that rose up to control the volcano (of Volcanica, a proposed toyset that seems to have been reworked into the Crystal Falls). She was emphasized by Mattel to not start fires, which, honestly, is probably why they scrapped the character. He-Man couldn’t use his sword as a sword; a woman made of fire was basically doomed.

Now, though, we’re several decades in and lines made for collecters that are largely in their 30s and 40s can say whatever they want! So she’s canon, even if Amber isn’t. Yes there’s only one mention of her. Amber technically was mentioned in an unproduced episode titled “Amber Waves of Flame”, but as it was unproduced, it’s noncanonical.

Volcano Magus, Sinister Son of Volcana

Lore: Living within a dormant volcano, the Volcano Magus of the German audio plays was the source of most of Catra’s power and all of her evil intent. He supplied her with magic for spells and schemes with which to assail the Crystal Castle, but neither she nor Clawdeen were aware of the dark influence he held over them.

In the MOTUC canon, he’s specified as the son of Volcana, a demigod from the “Region of Volcanoes” who craved the nature magic of the Whispering Woods. When he learned the Twiggets were inextricably linked to that magic, he used his powers to petrify the former Rebels (this was after the Horde's defeat) and kidnap three Twiggets to drain the magic from their souls. Twiggets, for the uninitiated, are like purple tree-elf things. According to MOTUC, Razz is a Twigget, though the ‘real’ name they assigned her doesn’t fit their naming convention. She is purple, I guess.

Kowl, who avoided petrification, read Razz's spellbooks to find a way to save his friends, and learned of an Entrapment Gem that she hid in a shoe, for some reason. He confronted the Volcano Magus, spoke in the ancient tongue of the First Ones, and sucked him into the Gem.

Backstory: Admittedly this stuff is second hand, as I don’t speak German & they only have transcriptions/translations for the He-Man tapes anyway, but if anybody can find me an audio file I will do my best to verify. The MOTUC stuff at least I can confirm 100% because it’s from 2019 & I do speak English, for better or worse.

Oak, the Jackal God

Lore: Oak was the terrible Jackal God worshiped by the denizens of Zhar, an ancient civilization that once existed in a remote, forested region of Eternia. Long ago, Oak was imprisoned within a statue which could be found within the Temple of the Jackal. When Skeletor removed the statue from the temple, Oak broke free of the enchantment which imprisoned him and wreaked havoc on Eternia. Although the Jackal God was immensely powerful, he could be weakened by the elements of nature and was ultimately foiled by a rainstorm conjured by the combined powers of He-Man's sword and the magic of the temple's guardian priest.

Backstory: I have lifted this from a He-Man guide word for word as I cannot for the life of me find a copy of the Brazilian Editora Abril comic he came from, O Templo Do Chacal (1986). The description is like, suspiciously similar to the plot of the He-Man episode The Cat and the Spider, except the Grimalkin was never described as a god. The rest of it--statue, Skeletor, storm defeat--plays out almost the same. True pity I can’t find the original source, but I do trust this guidebook. You may be interested in Ceres from the UK comics--another dog-slash-statue who frankly might as well be a god himself, but as he’s not called one in canon he’s not going on the list.

The Bitter Rose Goddess

Lore: As Man-at-Arms told the legend, “Every day, a woman climbed Rose Mountain to look for her husband to return from the war. Alas, he never came back. Her tears poured from her cheek and entered the ground. One day she disappeared, but where she stood was a single, solitary rose. It’s the only thing that grows on Rose Mountain.”

The Insect People, who lived at the base of Rose Mountain, believed that the Bitter Rose is all that held the mountain together (and when it was picked, they were proved right). After the flower was restored, it transformed into the Bitter Rose Goddess herself, who explained that she had been a prisoner of her love's sorrow, so bitter that she refused to allow anything else to grow on Rose Mountain. She blessed the surrounding area, blanketing the jagged peaks with roses, and disappeared.

Backstory: She’s kind of... barely a god. She showed up in one episode and no other media & has objectively less power than like, every single demon they ever brought in. I almost didn’t put her on this list.

Mask-Ra, Goddess of Masks

Lore: A goddess who created the magical Masks of Power.

Backstory: Mask-Ra was first mentioned in 2019 and like, look, I’m gonna be real. I don’t respect her. She’s an invention of MOTUC (unless they were drawing on this concept art of Maska-Ra, which I doubt bc he was a Man-E-Faces precursor) and they retconned her into having created Catra’s mask, which is kind of redundant given the entire episode Magicats. This mask did not need two bios. There are no other mentions of her in any canon.

Potential other Masks of Power: The Deemos and Tyrella masks from the He-Man episode “Masks of Power”, lizard and canine masks from the mini-comic “Masks of Power”, Lord Masque’s Demon Mask from the He-Man episode “House of Shokoti, Part 1″, and whatever the hell Red Shadow has going on.

Procrustus, Giant Guardian of Magic

Lore: During the creation of the various dimensions (5 in MOTUC canon but demonstratably higher everywhere else), the gods installed the four-armed, immortal giant Procrustus to guard their secrets at the heart of Eternia. There lay the Starseed, from which the entire dimension was created. It still held immeasurable power, and could be used to conquer entire universes. Hordak, in an attempt to access the Starseed, cracked Eternia in two with the Spell of Separation. Though he was (mostly) thwarted, from then on Procrustus was forced to hold the two halves of Eternia together from within, lest the planet break apart and the Starseed be exposed.

Backstory: First appearing in the mini-comic “The Magic Stealer!”, Procrustus is a lot more tangible than most gods. We know where he is, at all times, and he seems confined to one size. His powers appear to be largely physical, as he had to burrow out of the ground to investigate in the mini-comic instead of teleporting or like, magicking the dirt away. This was his only appearance until MOTUC released a figure for him in 2012. He also showed up in the Subternia map the next year, holding Eternia together.

Standor, Cosmic Creator of Power

Lore: “Before time began, the great Gods of the multiverse convened in the Hall of Power to create all that was and all that will ever be. Head architect of this great task was Standor. A cosmic being of unlimited imagination, Standor helped lead his fellow deities by fueling their energies with raw creative force.”

Backstory: Released for Comikaze 2013 to celebrate the partnership of Mattel and Pow! Entertainment, Standor is literally just Stan Lee But a God. The prototype was called Standar--idk why they changed it, but I think it’s because it’s too easy to confuse with “Standard”. They made a bio for his sunglasses. I don’t want to talk about it.

Bash-Or, Slain Mystic God-Beast

Lore: Very little is known of Bash-Or, the Ram. His last remnant was sealed within the Ram Stone by the ancient sorceror kings of Zalesia, imbuing it with his divine power to overcome any barrier, magical or otherwise.

Backstory: Bash-Or was revealed in the bio for the Ram Stone, September of 2020, but his spirit (previously referred to as ‘the Spirit of the Ram Stone’) was twice utilized by Skeletor in the MYP cartoon, to great effect, before the stone was destroyed.

[leafpool-loves-ashfur]

a family of cold, dead hearts

ahhhh so idk why i suddenly got the urge to draw my Generations ocs, but i didddd, and then suddenly i decided to ACTUALLY draw a background for once instead of just doing some vague green-brown blurrs! so anyway!

Characters are: Doebreeze, Nightkit/splash, Morningmoon, Poolfur, Deadkit/heart, Leechkit/branch

Story is: (under cut)

When Doebreeze birthed Poolfur’s kits, she immediately favored her little she-kit over the tom-kits, as she harbors an ugly bias against toms (thinking of them as mouse-brains, gross, generally lesser than she-cats). She named her Nightkit, and called the others Deadkit and Leechkit, because they’re dead to her and just leeches stealing her milk and time. Poolfur was horrified to discover Doebreeze would reject and mistreat their sons this way, and moved into the nursery to talk care of the tom-kits once they were weaned off Doebreeze’s milk. One of Doebreeze’s parents, Morningmoon (her non-bio mom as well as mentor), moved into the nursery as well, as was not all that approving of her daughter’s actions, and wondered if she had enabled this behavior somehow when Doebreeze was younger. Morningmoon treats her grandson’s wonderfully and tries to chastise her daughter, but she isn’t the most confrontational cat, and ends up leaving most of the arguing between Doe and Pool.

When the kits grow up, Nightsplash does originally hold some of her mother’s ideals, but luckily Poolfur, her brothers (who she does care for, even if she thinks she’s ‘better’ than them), and other influences teach her that they’re not the case. She is still incredibly spoiled and entitled though. Leechbranch views himself as worthless and weak for most of his life, but he gains a sense of worth and love from his father, brother, and future mate, Birdcloud. Deadheart would continuously try to impress his mother, but as she rejected him more and more (and even hurt him physically), he grew resentful of her and eventually poisons her and runs away to SkyClan (they’re WindClan cats) to be with his mate, Brokenflower.

More of their story on the Generations Wiki.

And drawing details!:

There are kitten claw marks on the walls and floors.

The crack in the back connects to a tunnel system the WindClan cats have.

Poolfur’s nest is smaller and messier because it was ripped from Doebreeze’s moss bed.

Random fun fact: Doe and Pool are based off/remade versions of older ocs named Hollyjaw and Feathernight, with a similar story, except Hollyjaw only had Dead and Leech, and hated them just cause she didnt want kittens.

[unforth]

A Non-Definitive and Certainly Incomplete List of the Differences Between the Qianqiu/Thousand Autumns Danmei Novel and the Donghua

@blacktigersprings commented on one of my Thousand Autumn Liveblog posts, asking about the differences between the donghua thus far, compared to the book - they'd seen the 16 episodes, but hadn't read it yet. After I wrote down what I could remember I was like...ya know what, I should just make all this into a post.

This is non-exhaustive. I am a tired person with a bad memory and a lot going on, so I am sure I forgot things. I'm gonna ping @baoshan-sanren since they're the main person I know who is in Thousand Autumns fandom also, and I'm willing to guarantee they will think of things I didn't, and also probably be able to correct me if I mixed anything up. I'll try to edit this based on new info, if I have the time, and I might post it as meta on AO3? I did that with my list of differences between CQL and MDZS and people found it helpful so...yeah. I'll add a link if a do.

Note that all posts like this rely to some extent on interpretation; what I write reflects my interpretation and understanding of events (...to the extent I remember them...) and others may have read/watched the same sequences and reached different conclusions. I've made specific notes where I think I'm raising a point that's more subjective than others.

This contains spoilers for all 16 episodes of the donghua, and for the equivalent parts of the novel. I did my best not to put in novel spoilers for past when the donghua ends, but there are allusions to subsequent events.

Anyway - vaguely in chronological order of when they happen?

(read more)

Overall, the basic premises of the donghua and the novel are pretty different. In the donghua, there are several primary conflicts - the intrusion of the Beimi/Tujue, the competition over access to the Solarity, the competition between different sects' top masters, and the search for that ring that Yan Wushi has. In the novel, these are all things that exist, but they're not the primary plot, and they're all at least somewhat difference. While the novel has multiple plotlines that focus on different things, looking at it as a whole, the main plot is a political one about control of the Empire, and how different sects are pulled into that conflict as a result of how the Emperor relates to Confucian, Daoist, and Buddhist sects. Which tradition each sect follows is much more important and relevant in the novel. The Beimi/Tujue plot is still relevant and involved, but it's just one thread in the political milieu. The Solarity, which has different and long name in the novel that I never remember - it's like, "the complete works of (some master who's name isn't in my brain" - is in six volumes, and it's definitely still important, but it's importance kinda fades as the novel progresses (though it's still a main piece at the point where the donghua leaves off). The ring is basically non-existent in the novel - instead of it being in Yan Wushi's possession, it's in the possession of the woman who's birthday party Shen Qiao goes to (...Madam Su? Might be her name? I'm sorry, I'm not great with names, and I usually rely on fandom wikis but this one is sparse) - in the novel, she was a disciple of Hulugu, and then she stole the ring and returned to the Empire. That other Beimi/Tujue disciple (...Dong something??) takes it back and returns with it to his clan, if I recall correctly, so it can be used to unify those clans to make war against the Empire.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is just...generally portrayed as pretty nice, and the YanShen vibes start pretty early - there's an early sign of playful flirting from Yan Wushi that actually seems sincere? At least it did to me. As a result, the YanShen vibes feel a lot stronger than they do in the novel at a similar point in the narrative. In the novel...I'd personally say Yan Wushi has zero interest, romantically or sexually, until well after where the donghua left off, and their relationship isn't canon until nearly the very end, and is always left more implied than...outright. I would personally say that in the novel, Shen Qiao has some feels for Yan Wushi pre-Sang Jingxing, but Yan Wushi doesn't reciprocate (except maybe at a deep level he refuses to acknowledge). It's not until he's healing post-almost-dying (as in, during the time immediately after when the donghua leaves off - I'm trying to be vague to avoid giving spoilers to people who haven't read it) that there start to be some real clear signs that Yan Wushi may have caught some feels, and even then it's complicated. They're complicated. They're also complicated. It's part of what I love about them, lol.

In the donghua, the fight between Shen Qiao and Kunye is shown "on screen" instead of only being described afterwards, and it's revealed almost right away that Shen Qiao was poisoned. Also, a lot of people help Kunye and they all fight Shen Qiao together. In the novel, this fight is off-screen. It's strictly a one-on-one battle between Shen Qiao and Kunye, and the reader doesn't learn that Shen Qiao lost due to poisoning until Shen Qiao goes to Mount Xuandu to confront Yu Ai.

In both the donghua and the novel, when Yan Wushi is trying to turn Shen Qiao evil, he sets up a mission for Shen Qiao and Yu Shengyan, The object of this mission is to kill a family that serves the Hehuan Sect. Shen Qiao refuses to participate, and helps them escape. In the donghua, they don't actually escape, and the "they serve Hehuan" thing turns out to be a ruse; they actually serve Yan Wushi. In the novel, they're actually Hehuan spies, and Shen Qiao still helps them, and they actually escape.

(RAPE MENTION TRIGGER WARNING) In the donghua, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that jerk noble whose name I can't remember right now (and it's not in the wiki, god the wiki is so slim, I wish I had time to help with that) hunts him for sport, and he doesn't want to die. In the novel, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that same jerk noble, who as a reputation for using pretty boys as sex slaves, tries to kidnap Chen Gong as a sex slave, and Chen Gong is like, "no no you don't want to fuck me, I know someone WAY prettier for you to rape." (The fall out remains the same in both - Shen Qiao beats up the guy, nothing bad happens to him, and he and Chen Gong part ways).

In the donghua, Shen Qiao goes to confront Yu Ai at Mount Xuandu by like. Literally walking up to the front gate. And then all the disciples for some reason get mad that Yan Wushi comes, even though he...also walked up to their front gate. Why do they even have a gate??? In the novel, Shen Qiao uses a super sneaky back way, only known to disciples, and so it actually makes some kind of sense when Yu Ai et al are like SHEN QIAO WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THE EVIL GUY OUR BACK DOOR?

(NOTE this one relies more on subtext and thus is very open to interpretation. What's written here reflects my personal interpretation, and others may disagree). In the donghua, when Yan Wushi hands Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing, they have a chat that heavily implies that Yan Wushi is kinda-sorta-not-so-secretly thinking that Shen Qiao could win a fight (and is probably expecting Shen Qiao to do so by using the demonic core that has been implanted in him). Sang Jingxing also says things that indicate that he thinks that Yan Wushi is setting a trap for him. In the novel, while it's never all that clear what Yan Wushi's motivations are, it becomes pretty clear by the point of the Sang Jingxing fight that Yan Wushi was serious when he said he didn't care about Shen Qiao, didn't consider him worthy, and doesn't care what happens to him. He definitely handed over Shen Qiao with every intention of Shen Qiao getting tortured and raped, and had no interest in saving him. Shen Qiao only becomes interesting to Yan Wushi afterwards. Yan Wushi is never only playing one game, so he may have thought that being pushed into a corner would force Shen Qiao to use the demonic core, but it also seemed to me like he genuinely didn't care - he'd gotten bored, and was done playing with the "new toy" that was Shen Qiao.

In the donghua, there is a shot of someone - the clothing is pretty unmistakably Yan Wushi's purple robe of ultimate purpleness - pulling Shen Qiao out of a river after he plunges to his almost-demise in the fight with Sang Jingxing. In the novel, Yan Wushi doesn't pull Shen Qiao out of the water, after Shen Qiao destroys his meridians in the fight against Sang Jingxing. Instead, Shen Qiao collapses in the mountains, where he is found by Shiwu and brought back to the monastery for treatment.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is fighting the four masters who have it in for him, and before the end of the fight, Shen Qiao arrives and tries to help him; he fights the four masters solo to try to keep Yan Wushi from using his powers and harming himself, and when he's about to lose, Yan Wushi...uses his powers and harms himself. In the novel, Shen Qiao doesn't arrive until after Yan Wushi has been defeated; he finds Yan Wushi almost dead and brings him to a small village nearby, where he stays with a nice girl and her...grandfather, iirc...and tries to keep them safe while nursing Yan Wushi back to health.

In the donghua, it's kinda implied that Shen Qiao goes to rescue Yan Wushi because, like...he likes him? There's not really a reason given, just that he wants to, or maybe to keep the ring from going to the Beimi/Tujue? In the novel it's pretty explicit that Shen Qiao goes to save Yan Wushi because he believes Yan Wushi's position in the Empire is critical to the stability of the world - and he wants the world stable, so that there won't be more refugees, starvation, etc. That he also may like Yan Wushi is the case but is almost incidental; Shen Qiao is focused on doing the most good for the most people, and that means saving Yan Wushi, because Yan Wushi is critical to the Empire, and the Empire is critical to the common people. (this is a major part of the political themes that are more prominent in the book than in the donghua).

I can't actually remember when Bian Yanmei was introduced in the novel? But I was pretty sure it was around when Yan Wushi sends Shen Qiao to that birthday banquet? Anyway, Bian Yanmei isn't in the donghua at all thus far; in the donghua, Yan Wushi's only apparent disciple is Yu Shengyan.

[mallowstep]

(Reed anon again)

Just--wtf did Riverclan do with Reedpaw when everyone was rescued? Even in Canon? Like, poor fucking Mistyfoot--two of her kits are with her, but her third and final kit is still in enemy territory, still underneath Tigerstar's paw, Blackfoot is still his mentor. If even a *hint* of Reedpaw's true parentage got out, he'd be fucked. He and Leopardstar would both probably be dead, Leopard carrying Tiger's legacy or not. Tbh I wouldn't doubt Tigerstar'd be petty enough just to kill all of Riverclan itself. Like...Greystripe, you fucking LIVED in Riverclan for a few fucking MOONS. How do you forget or at least NOT recognize/remember the queen that nursed your kits' own kits? You told Firestar you visited them every chance you had. Like...Grey, I get you were worried for you daughter, but dude...you left a child who you saw as a baby to a toddler (thereabouts) under a war criminal. Someone you KNOW had a subordinate who was not against poisoning kits with deathberries. Someone who tried to kill his OWN apprentice. Then, in the Leopard AU, this kid is stuck in the apprentices den during the rescue. Leopardstar and Mudfur cannot get him out without alerting Shadowclan Apprentices. They chose Mistyfoot and Featherpaw's heath and safety (which, at this point it's better than nothing.) And Misty has to choose Feather when Mudfur leads them out of their prison. He then gets to see the absolute horror of his LEADER, murdered, loose a life, to this Monster, see her go through what his mother did, only that IT'S far, far, worse than anything that'd been done at this point. He sees his clan's medicine cat turn against their leader, verbally agreeing and harassing her...just... this poor boy.. In Canon, Misty Au, Leopard AU it all sucks. Dark AU, not so much--still horrific, but Blackfoot is Reed's father in that one, so as his mentor Reed's safety is somewhat assured had Tigerstar not realized Reedpaw was Misty's kit, and that Misty's kits had not all died.

oh my god anon why r u so Damn Good at making me feel things

okay okay okay hm. i'm just gonna -- yeah i'm just gonna put the whole thing under a cut bc i'm a lil too tired to do the thing where i start with the pg-13 and below stuff and then do a cut.

cw: sexual assault, parent being involved in sexual assault of child

heck if i know. i'm like. 100% sure mistyfoot's kits were forgotten about. they were nameless characters for a Long time. reedpaw isn't in any of the allegiances for riverclan in tpb. i...like. i've read tpb how many times? and i honestly didn't know mistyfoot had kits until i checked out the warriors wiki and was like. oh. she had kits? with blackclaw? what the fuck?

i wouldn't put money on it, but i have a feeling the scene involving mistyfoot and her kits could be read as riverclan kits in general. again, wouldn't put money on that, it's just a hunch.

anyway, i kind of just. mistyfoot could have had another litter in the year between tpb and tnp, or during po3, or literally any other time and then we wouldn't have the reedpaw problem (tm).

WAIT

WAIT WAIT WAIT I WAS LOOKING AT THE WARRIORS WIKI AND

HE'S AN APPRENTICE IN TNP

what the FUCK

he's fucking like. several YEARS old. he's 2 and a half years old and he's a fucking apprentice oh my god just give mistyfoot a second litter it is not that hard.

actually. since mistyfoot's litter isn't named...new hc that reedwhisker is a different litter? hm. anyway.

my tangent on the reedpaw problem aside;

oh yeah, he's so fucking dead. imo prob not him and leopardstar -- riverclan would Riot if their leader was killed, and tbh, so would part of shadowclan -- but him and blackclaw. damn.

and yeah? idk? god. i don't know. tbf he's not in prison i don't even know. altho. actually, to give greystripe some credit -- the fact that mistyfoot doesn't ask to go back for him and how risky the riverclan rescue is, i think "not going back" is actually a reasonable choice.

honestly do we have an erin statement that reedwhisker is part of the same litter as prim and co. it's not on the wiki. i want to know. because i think everyone just assumed he was and -- maybe there is a statement but i want to see it.

because mistyfoot is not the type to abandon her kit. like. what? no. mistyfoot? mistyfoot? my brother just died but i am fucking fine get me the hell out of here mistyfoot? no i know i'm starving but like hell you can apprentice featherpaw to someone else mistyfoot? you're telling me SHE would leave a kit behind without so much as a word about him? fat fucking chance.

in conclusion, unless someone can provide evidence an erin said reedwhisker was part of mistyfoot's first litter, i'm going to assume the intention was that he was a second litter.

and back to the actual topic, now that i'm done for real hopefully.

yeeep. he can't be rescued. and -- mistyfoot has very few choices here. featherpaw is dying, reedpaw is safe for the moment, she won't get another chance. she's not happy about it -- she misses him so terribly much -- but she doesn't. yeah. god. that angst. i hope like. someone somehow just Tries to let reedpaw know it wasn't voluntary.

(i'm not Much One for "you left me you didn't love me" angst if you Can't tell. a pinch of it for flavour, but not as a main plot line, y'know? nothing wrong with it it's very good i just don't like writing it.)

god -- god. in my mind tigerstar takes the life from leopardstar privately bc riverclan would fucking riot but just. reedpaw realizes what's happening. so he follows bc of course he does. he's not the reason tigerstar knows what's going on, but he thinks he is.

and he's there hiding and he sees tigerstar kill leopardstar and hears him tell mudfur what's going to happen and he's sitting there in a bush or something just trying not to so much as twitch because he's so dead if tigerstar finds him. he's so fucking dead.

so he just sits there until long after tigerstar and leopardstar and mudfur have left and when he gets back to camp everyone wonders where he went and he can't explain.

and it feels terrible but he realizes tigerstar is still gloating over everything because as pissed as he is that he lost mistyfoot -- now he's truly taken out every thread of riverclan's leadership.

(frankly no i still think tigerstar's most effective control method for riverclan would be to tell stonefur that if he messes up, he'll kill the apprentices and/or mistyfoot and/or rape mistyfoot, and do leopard au on leopardstar, therefore getting all 3 riverclan leaders in blind obedience to him. he'd have to be much more discrete about leopardstar, maybe convince the clans it's a political thing, i'm not sure. the point is, nothing would Visibly be wrong, all three leaders are just going for this, and so of course riverclan would go along with it. but tigerstar's too much of a prideful asshole to appreciate another culture in enough depth to manipulate them effectively.)

anyway. so reedpaw realizes like -- ah yes. i'm escaping punishment because tigerstar is distracted. and -- god. yeah. oh my god.

and at first like -- he doesn't like. witness anything. tigerstar has some sense of subtly. not a ton -- but enough. direct evidence would be a problem. so no, reedpaw is just sitting with this knowledge in his head. mistyfoot escaped and she was carrying tigerstar's kits (was she? he hadn't seen her he misses her so much he hopes prays she's safe), so now leopardstar is going to.

and the thing about letting things sit like that is that the brain is very, very powerful.

(He called my mother a whore, Reedpaw thinks, and he wants to throw up when he remembers it.

Tigerstar and Leopardstar and Mudfur are having a conversation again and Reedpaw thinks of how Tigerstar would wrap his tail around Mistyfoot, like they were mates, and he wonders what Tigerstar would say if he didn't have to pretend.)

so. you know. yeah. good angst oh my god.

and now mudclaw has flipped from -- one of his best protectors to a great enemy. see, here's the thing. tigerstar only tells mudfur he's going to make him watch. leopardstar ain't dead that long. so reedpaw doesn't know what shadepelt knows and shadepelt would tell him but if shadepelt tries to talk to reedpaw...bad for the both of them.

and reedpaw is around blackfoot and blackfoot is a good guard and how long until -- reedpaw is asked to tell blackfoot something while blackfoot is on guard and he hears mudfur say, "You're a slut like your mother" and he -- can't. maybe he freezes, can't remember what he was supposed to tell blackfoot.

("Spit it out," Blackfoot says, but Reedpaw can't remember why he's even here.

"Even your own father thinks you're just a useless whore," Tigerstar says. He's not speaking loud -- Reedpaw would have to strain to hear the words if his entire world hadn't narrowed down to them.

"Reedpaw," Blackfoot growls. "Spit it out.")

hm. yes. god. bad. good. damn.

and yes the dark au seems like. once again "the angst is very different so i don't know how to rank its magnitude because emotions don't work like that" but. on one hand -- his dad. protection. safety. good. on the other -- his dad really did let two of his siblings die and his mom get raped, huh.

hm. good stuff.

[juniper-tree]

The real flora of fake Zion

Fallout: New Vegas was a formative game for me. It gathered up and solidified a lot of disparate interests I’d had for years: desert life, survival medicine and ethnobotany (what Arcade does), being dumb and causing a ruckus. 

The botany really stuck with me. Still working on the desert life. I am an herbalist but not a botanist (yet—for now I just watch Joey Santore and vibe) but plant IDing is a fun hobby. And nothing’s more fun than looking at 10 year old brown pixels and figuring out what the hell they’re supposed to be. 

Continuing my “video game plants in real life” studies (here / here), and because I can’t stop myself from writing plants into my story, here’s a non-exhaustive list of the flora unique to FNV’s Zion Canyon in Honest Hearts.

Ephedra viridis (Mormon tea)

Mormon tea, as you may surmise from its scientific name, is a main source of ephedra, and it will fuck you up. This is trucker speed. As for its common name, well here’s a long post on some of the evidence for and against the idea that Mormon settlers used this as a coffee substitute. If you would like to imagine Joshua Graham and Daniel’s speed-fueled arguments carrying on into the night, I will certainly not stop you. By all accounts, it has a nice flavor.

(lots more behind cut)

Adiantum capillus-veneris (southern maidenhair fern)

Maidenhair fern clings to rock faces and overhangs in Zion, with no observable soil and sometimes very little water - a xerophyte. It tends to cluster and spread in crevices, as around the opening to Crossroad Cavern above. This fern is pretty prevalent in actual Zion, so it’s nice they included some climbing/vining vegetation to break up all the brown-red rock lumps.

Quercus gambelii (gambel oak)

The gambel oak is indigenous to Zion, and in the game—as well as in life—you’ll see it in various states of coloration: bright green, rust red, golden yellow.  It’s one of two tree species to remain in post-apocalyptic Zion, which is still rather lush and green compared to the surrounding wasteland. I imagine that without significant acorn-eating (and spreading) wildlife, the oaks don’t thrive the way they might, radioactive blight aside.

Datura wrightii (sacred datura)

Boy, they did a nice job rendering the sacred datura plant, didn’t they? Datura wrightii is as presented in-game: highly toxic, known to cause hallucinations and sickness (death, really, if you are not knowledgeable and skilled in indigenous peoples’ practices with it), and grows in individual green clumps in the desert soil. A poisonous little oasis with inviting, pretty white flowers.

I will tell you that seeing sacred datura in person for the first time (in Joshua Tree) gave me that “she is too fond of video games and it has turned her brain” feeling. I wanted to lightly pluck the flowers and have them disappear into my invisible backpack. I did not.

Pinus ponderosa (ponderosa pine)

It took me many go-rounds to decide whether the in-game tree above was ponderosa pine or douglas fir. Something tells me the design was more “generic conifer” and not as true to life as it might be. I’m fairly confident I picked the right one, and anyway, the ponderosa pine is much more interesting. Brachyptera is the subspecies which grows in the Four Corners area. It can grow tall and bushy like the digital ones up there at Ranger Substation Eagle, or it can grow spindly and bent with high elevation and wind.

Did you know ponderosa pines were used to test atom bombs in Nevada? They took a bunch of pines from elsewhere, planted them at Area 5, and then kaboom. The trees largely fell over (video of test). Seems like they could have guessed that.

Artemisia filifolia (old man or sand sagebrush)

The sages in Honest Hearts are very scraggly indeed, sharp, spiky silvery white shrubs without much soft leaf or fuzz, like real ones. They look a bit more like Artemisia cana (silver sagebrush), but perhaps they’ve just become hardened like everybody else in the Wastes. The sand sagebrush has tons of documented uses among the indigenous peoples of the west, including as toilet paper.

Others!

Unlike some of my other investigations into video game plants, because this is set in a real, identifiable place I can touch with my own hands and feet, I don’t have to make real plant analogues from fictional ones. Except in the case of broc flower and xander root. The wiki suggests broc plants resemble Sphaeralcea ambigua, desert globemallows, and while the flowers bear a similarity, I do think this is quite intentionally a fictional plant with fictional properties. As is xander root—essentially, a turnip. Turnips are very good for you.

Of course, there are other plants common to the Mojave Wasteland which I’ve not covered here: Yucca baccata (datil or banana yucca), prickly pear Opuntia cacti (the ones they’ve drawn look kinda like Opuntia polyacantha but Opuntia phaeacantha would be more correct for the region), Agave utahensis (Nevada agave - var. nevadensis wouldn’t be in Zion but var. kaibabensis would so I won’t be picky, and anyway who’s to say how plants spread after 2077).

[zaph1337]

Monster Hunter Rating 34: Pink Rathian, the Cherry Blossom Fire Wyvern

TEN THOUSAND YEARS WILL GIVE YOU--wait, the last review was literally this month, my bad. Well, now that I have some free time, it’s time to get back to rating monsters on an arbitrary and--as seen in the last review--incredibly subjective scale! Speaking of last review, it was pretty obvious that creating a Rathalos subspecies would also require a Rathian subspecies to go along with it. Let’s see how the Pink Rathian mixes things up!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Freedom 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Tri Ultimate)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter World)

Appearance: Honestly, I’m glad that this isn’t the color the designers chose for normal Rathian, ‘cause it would have hammered in the whole “girl Rathalos” idea way too hard (you could argue that Azure Rathalos and Pink Rathian are meant to represent the colors attributed to their sexes or genders, but I think that that’s just a coincidence). Judging them strictly by personal preference, though, I think that I like the colors here a tiny bit more than I do normal Rathian’s, but not enough to earn it an extra point. 7/10.

Behavior/Lore: They’re literally just “Rathians but more aggressive.” Don’t know what I was expect--wait, there’s a reason for it?

So, Pink Rathians, like normal ones, can live almost anywhere, but they like foresty areas. The problem is, while regular Rathians have a form of camouflage thanks to their green coloring, Pink Rathians stick out like a sore thumb. Because they can no longer ambush prey or hide from other powerful monsters, they’ve become more aggressive than normal to make up for it; instead of ambushing prey, they just rush in and try to kill it as fast as possible so it can’t escape. As a side effect of this behavior, Pink Rathians are less likely to be targeted by other monsters who don’t want to incur the wrath of a dragon that probably ate its anger management instructor--the fact that they’re more powerful than normal Rathians helps, too.

As much as I wish there was more here, I have to give the devs props for at least giving a reason for the Pink Rathian’s increased aggression. Still, this is just “Rathian+,” so like Azure Rathalos, I’m giving this the same score as I did the base monster. 6/10.

Abilities: Pink Rathians have the same abilities as their base form, but as expected, they’re more dangerous. They rely less on their charge attacks, but they use more backflips and tail whips in their fighting style, and do so faster and more skillfully than normal Rathians. This makes them very dangerous, as fighting them is a constant struggle to keep your life from being drained away by poison.

Like with Azure Rathalos, I appreciate how there’s a clear idea of what makes fighting a Pink Rathian different from fighting a normal one. Using some moves more frequently than others changes up the fight quite a bit, and the fact that they’re more proficient with these moves surely makes said fight a hassle. 7/10.

Equipment: Okay, I’ve been neglecting the whole “looking at weapon descriptions” thing, so I’m gonna fix that here. First off, here’s a Charge Blade from MH4 called Dia Hekateru:

Of course the first weapon I choose to show off is the one from a Japan-only game, and the wiki doesn’t have a translation for its description. Well, its counterpart from MH4U, Dear Hecatel, is “The Queen's Charge Blade. Ends prey in a rosy spatter, like petals in a spring wind.” That’s...morbidly beautiful? Is that a thing? Well, in any case, the weapon itself looks very pretty. The sword looks cool and effective, while the shield definitely looks like it could turn into the head of an axe. The next two weapons require both Pink Rathian and Azure Rathalos parts, starting with a Long Sword called Wyvern Blade “Blaze”:

“A Long Sword made from a pair of kindred wyverns. Its colorful edges can slice open the sky.” Edges? Isn’t this supposed to be a single-edged blade? Okay, I’m getting nitpicky, that’s a sign to focus on something else. Well, the colors work well together, but not only is most of the Pink Rathian’s influence restricted to the sheathe, the weapon itself reminds me of cotton candy. Not exactly threatening, but I doubt monsters know what cotton candy is. Finally, here’s a Switch Axe called Azure Rose:

“A Switch Axe made from a Pink Rathian and an Azure Rathalos. Proof one bested the pair.” Okay, I really like this, both because of the blue axe head and because of the way the dominant color depends on the form the Switch Axe is in. If it’s in Axe Mode, then most of the visible weapon is devoted to Azure Rathalos, while Sword Mode represents Pink Rathian. Someone more versed in MH than me could possibly draw parallels between the different fighting styles the modes use and the monsters they’re themed after, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s just me reading too much into this. On to the armor, unfortunately the MHO images were the only ones on the wiki that I really liked, and while they look similar to the Rathian armor designs I showed before, they’re not exact. Take that as a plus or a minus depending on your preference, but here’s the Blademaster set either way:

Y’know, now that I compare this with the Rathian set I showed off before, they’re much more different than I thought they were. They’re from different games, so it makes sense, but this is still quite jarring. Anyways, I prefer said Rathian armor over this, at least for the men’s set, mostly because I prefer the helmet being made of monster parts rather than metal. The red parts erupting from it are a nice touch, though obviously they don’t match the color of the monster they came from. The women’s set from MHO loses some of the “warrior queen” theming present in the Tri version in favor of being more regal, but at least the dress actually looks like you could dodge roll with it (yes I’m still hung up on that). As for the Gunner version:

It’s not even close to resembling the Gunner Rathian armor I showed off before, so I won’t even try to compare them. Well, okay, I will say that the arm guard on the men’s armor from Tri is much more practical than the one seen here, ‘cause it doesn’t take up the entire arm. I get that the point is to shield yourself, but you also need to be able to flex that arm a little. Having part of the chest be covered in literal scale-mail is a nice touch, though.  Also I haven’t brought any attention to it but that’s a really silly helmet. As for the women’s set, the helmet is very similar to the one I showed off in the Rathian review, but that’s where most of the similarities end. Said helmet comes with a facemask made of Pink Rathian scales (insert topical social distancing joke here), which can’t be easy to breathe through. Also, what the heck is that amorphous gold thing below the mask? What purpose does it serve other than confusing me? Final talking point, there’s a piece of metal dress here for some reason and it makes even less sense than having a full metal dress.

I think that the Pink Rathian equipment is about as good as the regular Rathian equipment; I like the weapons that also have Azure Rathalos parts more, but those aren’t the majority and basing my rating off of weapons that are also themed after another monster seems shallow. 8/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: You might have noticed that every category here got the same score that it did in the Rathian review, and that says a lot about how I feel about Pink Rathian. I like it just as much as I do normal Rathian, and I’m sure I would have different opinions if I fought a Pink Rathian before, but I’ve barely fought any monster as is. I’m also not really willing to use too much of my brainpower on figuring out what I like better between them, mostly because I’m missing some of my meds and all the work I’ve had to do moving house has put enough strain on my brain as is. I hope to continue seeing support for the project, though; it’ll really help me when I work on future reviews! 7/10.

[ziracona]

How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.

Anon you’re so valid TuT 

ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I can’t make everyone scroll past that so I’m putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and don’t read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:

John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone else’s mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT. 

He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do y’all even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if he’s super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but he’s like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because he’s got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! It’s traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all John’s talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesn’t actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. It’s all kinds of fucked.

Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) I’m VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amanda’s test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM. 

And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeff’s other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if she’s not hurt that’s FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc she’s investigating them! When he targets a detective John’s always like “Ho ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your work”  LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DON”T WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!

I don’t remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I don’t have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like John’s lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didn’t have a chance to save himsefl!!! 

In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HE”S A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And he’s not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage!  He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit! 

And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: “Yo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?” and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordon’s wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasn’t willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!

In five he’s finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO I’m STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 it’s a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didn’t know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didn’t break the story bc guy 1’s father bribed him. There’s a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guy’s dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real payback–it’s unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them.  I cannot. Just.

Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WON”T QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UP’s request, a ‘game’ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc he’s a piece of shit but damn if he didn’t have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit. 

And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target for…what was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john I’m sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait it’s because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. It’s fuel on the flame of my rage.

William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesn’t die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he can’t outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in William’s face that insurance policies aren’t fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesn’t have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN “I’M RIGHT” ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!! 

Sidebar–if John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 

K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I don’t know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesn’t get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, they’re kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because he’s a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending he’s a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE he’s THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesn’t ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer! 

ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their father’s insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dude’s sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!

I-I don’t even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what here’s the short version even if I can’t do them justice rn bc I’m pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesn’t believe in invisible illnesses and if you’re walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didn’t even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how it’s not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people don’t value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am just–I am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.

I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I can’t even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, “D’oh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gun’s trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom  😔” I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. It’s unbelievable.

Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramer’s throat to make him stop. talking.

There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who won’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. I’m not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.

[hemlock-her-loss]

Sherlock Meta - The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain

Whelp, I’m writing meta when I should be finishing my master’s thesis, so not much has changed in my life… Anyway, I delved back into TAB, because I still feel like understanding TAB is the key to making sense of S4.  I was reading about the Pepper’s Ghost illusion, and I stumbled upon a story by Charles Dickens, called: The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain, the connection being that: 

Pepper first showed the effect [Pepper’s Ghost] during a scene of Charles Dickens's The Haunted Man¹.

The story is the fifth and final of Dickens’ Christmas stories, the first and most famous being A Christmas Carol. Of course my interest was immediately piqued, because we know that Mark Gatiss has a great fascination (or obsession) with ghost stories, and particularly Christmas ghost stories. I haven’t yet read the story, so the following information is what I’ve gathered from different articles, which I’ve included links to at the end.

The protagonist of The Haunted Man is Redlaw: 

a brilliant teacher of chemistry...whose lonely existence is oppressed by a host of gloomy memories...Redlaw broods in solitude upon the pall of his misfortunes, summoning a desire to be rid of every recollection of suffering, unhappiness, and wrong that he has ever known².

Already the Sherlock similarities are pretty intense: a brooding, brilliant individual who has studied chemistry, lives a relatively solitary existence, and is haunted by memories from his past. And what exactly is the past event that so haunts Redlaw? The death of his sister in his youth.

Soon after Redlaw’s introduction in the story, he is visited by a ghostly Doppelgänger (i.e. a dark mirror, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type figure) comes to Redlaw and offers him the opportunity to forget all his past traumas, to erase or delete the memories if you will... While Redlaw is suspicious of the offer, he immediately jumps at the opportunity, but there is a catch: everyone who he comes into contact with will also have their bad memories erased. Redlaw is willing to accept the consequences, and agrees to the conditions.

REDLAW: If there were poison in my body, should I not, possessed of antidotes and knowledge how to use them, use them? If there be poison in my mind, and through this fearful shadow I can cast it out, shall I not cast it out?²

I find it interesting the parallels between how Sherlock and Redlaw describe their unpleasant, human emotions: Redlaw as poison to the mind, and Sherlock as the fly in the ointment, grit in the lens, or virus in the data. 

As the story continues, Redlaw begins to realize a change in his behavior and in the behavior of those around him, who have also had their bad memories erased. Redlaw is esteemed by his students, not only for his brilliance, but also his kindness towards them. This slowly begins to change as Redlaw becomes angrier at the world, and less caring for those around him. This is also reflected in the cast of characters around Redlaw, for instance the Tetterby family (similar to the Cratchit family in A Christmas Carol) who are portrayed as warm and caring toward one another in the beginning of the story, but begin quarreling and practically abusing one another after their past memories are forgotten.

Through this change, Redlaw comes to realize that the negative memories from his past, while they may have caused him a great deal of suffering, were the source of his humanity and compassion:

Redlaw, reaching rock bottom, describes himself as ‘a man without a soul, as incapable of compassion, artistic sensitivity or spiritual understanding, as the abandoned waif whose neglected short life is equally barren of memories.’ He soon regrets his decision, and realizes that personal harmony does not come from surrendering one's memory of suffering, but in reconciling it with one's joys. Redlaw learns it is best to forgive, not forget³.

Through acceptance of and working through past traumas, and forgiveness of past transgressions, an individual is able to grow as a person and become more compassionate towards others. Steven Moffat discussed how it is precisely Sherlock’s compassion which makes him the superior of Mycroft or Eurus in an interview with Vulture Magazine: 

Well, they [Mycroft and Eurus Holmes] have extraordinary mental equipment is what they’ve got, an extraordinary mental acuity. They are extremely brave, the computer runs well. Both Mycroft and to a greater degree, Eurus, cannot see value in morality beyond the idea that it is the survival strategy of a pack animal. Sherlock Holmes can. He can actually feel and experience compassion. And he is quite a compassionate, passionate man underneath it all. But that’s always been the case for Sherlock Holmes. He is claiming to be the arch-intellectual, but we all know he’s a wise old man and a hero, too. Eurus reveals the extremes of where a great brain can go without a great heart to accompany it⁴.

I would of course love to deep dive into this story and do a full blown meta, but the whole thesis thing means this is the best I can do for now. I tried looking around to see if anyone else had mentioned The Haunted Man, but I didn’t find anything, so maybe you guys can make something more of it or link to someone who has already covered this.

A quick thought though:

This definitely would confirm that Moffat and Gatiss are serious about Sherlock having a sister whom he thinks dead, and that he has erased his memory of her (as well as other memories, like the death of Victor Trevor). For me though, I still don’t take this to mean that the Eurus Holmes we encountered in S4 is actually his real sister (my money is on Rosamund Mary Holmes, but that’s a whole other meta in itself), rather his MP version of her. I still think S4 is in Sherlock’s mind palace, and what we are seeing is him bringing the past memories to the surface, which they demonstrate beautifully in TFP:

Sources: 1. The Haunted Man Wiki article https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Haunted_Man_and_the_Ghost%27s_Bargain

2. Crisis Magazine article about The Haunted Man

https://www.crisismagazine.com/2013/dickens-forgotten-christmas-tale-the-haunted-man

3. Blog about The Haunted Man

https://blog.bookstellyouwhy.com/charles-dickens-final-christmas-novel-the-haunted-man-and-the-ghosts-bargain

4. Vulture Magazine interview with Steven Moffat

https://www.vulture.com/2017/01/sherlock-showrunner-steven-moffat-the-final-problem.html“If there were poison in my body, should I not, possessed of antidotes and knowledge how to use them, use them? If there be poison in my mind, and through this fearful shadow I can cast it out, shall I not cast it out?”

[hameru-is-cool]

So like, I downloaded Magia Record but never opened it the day I did, which means I still haven't bc brain dumb but anyway, git any beginner helpful tips for it? I really should start playing it lol

Right now is a great time to join in because of the free daily 10x pull for Iroha’s birthday. I’ve been told the mechanics are relatively similar to FGO (thanks aniplex) but I don’t play it so I can’t say for sure how similar.

As for tips, well there’s a few I can think of…

1) Don’t be ashamed to let yourself get carried by other players with strong supports. I’m rank 67 and sometimes I still need to get carried by someone’s Kyoko or Ren for that ATK. hmu if you want some of the good people I follow or you could check out the magireco reddit.

2.) Roll the premium Gacha until you get at least one natural 4*. If it’s Mami or Madoka you’re pretty much set for any challenge as long as you level them up. If you preregistered then Moemura can carry you for a bit, personally I started struggling with just her after difficulties 40 and up… which is when I started rolling until I luckily got Madoka.

3) Avoid the banner Gachas unless it’s someone you really want and you got a decent amount of rolls that you can do. Rolls on banner gachas don’t carry over on the pity counter.

4) Connect! Attacking with a girl 3 times let’s you connect and most of the time they are extremely powerful. Preferably use the connect to fill a combo with a girl who has 2 other disks to select from. If the connect is a status effect like ATK UP, poison. critical, etc always use it as the start of the combo so it carries over on every hit.

For example, here Ren was able to clear the wave in a single combo because of that Connect with Nanaka affecting all the disks (Look for the direction of attack on the grid when using Blasts) .

5) Combo when possible, if not it’s useful to know that an Accele disk at the start adds Magia buildup to all the other following disks. 3 disks of the same girl are the best. Then type disk combos, Accele disk combo gives +20 magia to entire team, Blast combo increases all of the attacks a bit, Charge combo builds up charge. You can check out a character’s disks in-game

or on the fandom wiki.

6) Keep the element advantage in mind. Fighting Mami in PVP is always a stressful risk for me because in 2-3 hits they can wreck my entire damage potential by taking out my Nanaka.

7) Don’t disregard leveling up and working with the main new girls of the story because they’ll be the first to get uncapped to 5*. Yui Tsuruno currently has an event for helping max her out now that she’s been uncapped.

8) Memorias are good actually. Well maybe the two stars not so much unless they grant you evade or criticals.

9) You don’t always need a full team. If you have two very powerful girls and 2 really weak ones the disks of the weak ones will pollute the disk draws, you’ll barely do any damage that turn and the enemy will still hit you relentlessly possibly even knocking out your stronger girls in the process.

10) This is more of a personal preference but since I’m mostly F2P don’t spend gems on refilling AP, you will get plenty of potions as time goes on. Free gems are a limited resource and are better spent rolling the Gacha or on continues for challenges that will grant you more gems upon completion.

11) Lastly just have fun, get to know the girls in their side stories. The main story is getting better over time. It’s pretty lighthearted fun most of the time at least compared to the show. Play your favorites and get attached to the characters there’s plenty of them.

[seenashwrite]

Walkthrough for “There But For The Grace”.

If interested - Go read it first before continuing on. This is about the plot point stuff (i/e - hints for the end, amongst other things) and the theological drops I sprinkled throughout.

I genuinely did not intend for this to cause brain freeze. Hoo-boy. Many sorry. There’s about a 40/60 split at this point of the “got its” vs. “didn’t quite got its”, so that’s on me. Not that it was incredibly necessary to catch the loop-di-loop in order to like it, though you might like it more once you know.

So I'll walk you through my thought process in the least disjointed manner I can manage. Which... hoo-boy, part deux. Tagging folks who commented on the story/to me directly, certainly no expectation on my part for you to read and/or reply. Seriously. Legit. Etc. And stuff.

This took longer to write than the story. #no lie

Okay, lotsa screencaps, so I don’t (a) end up c-p’ing the whole damn thing, and more the reason (b) so can underline. 

And for ALL our brains’ sakes, I’ll call our dude Michael, and other world’s dude Mike from here on.  Plotting stuff in red, theological stuff in blue, randoms (Nash Be Nashin’ and SPN canon stuff) in green.

The title is from that proverb “There but for the grace of God go I”, and as ye olde wiki explains....

....and then, there’s this:

Hopefully you picked up on something being “off” with how I was writing ol’ Mike as the story went on. I got slightly tricksy in some places on purpose regarding characterization, but hey - Mike and Michael are essentially the same angel in concept, just on different planes, right? And stuff apparently took a left turn when the apocalypse went through over yonder. So while they didn’t really re-tell the history of Apocaland beat-by-beat (thank Chuck), the inference I got is that the basic shit went down - he boots Luci after he rebels, etc. Blah blah blah, y’all know this.

Quote from Michael:

So maybe Mike came at it from the same angle when he killed his Luci. Who knows. Though I will say - if it was some sort of duty for him and not pleasure, I wouldn’t think there’d be boasting about pulling Luci apart, nor would the knee-jerk be to string him up and torture him, at least, if he’d suddenly re-appeared before me one day. YMMV.

This is good summary from the wiki, whoever wrote it did a bang up job:

Michael is meticulous. He slow-plays things. It’s not about being power-hungry; he had power. He was essentially God. For him, this is tied up in honor and loyalty and righting wrongs and all that jazz.

Again - that hesitation. He never stopped loving Lucifer - and Lucifer never stopped loving any of them, we see this big time in the Elysium ep when he “killed” Gabriel. Much internal conflict with these folks. And then there’s Mike, who iced (our) Gabriel and tortured (our) Lucifer in the blink of an eye. 

There’s my characterization base of operations.

---> Could be interpreted as Michael or Mike - applies to both. Mike would find pleasure in taking inventory of what he planned to rule, how we aren’t worthy of anything but being subjects; Michael is perhaps glad to see plenty of justifications for what he feels he’s still destined to do.

---> “Learned” for Mike = the observing we saw in the finale, comparing-and-contrasting to his world; “learned” for Michael could be (a) via Dean’s mind, and / or (b) what he could’ve seen from Mike’s mind when he whooped his ass, a.k.a. Nash’s Sneaky Twisty Thing, re: Michael is now in Dean’s body. 

So, how is that, Nash? you may ask.

Dunno.

Perhaps the distraction of Mike getting wailed on by Michael allowed Dean the opportunity to eject him, maybe Dean’s been wearing Mike down mentally. And though Dean/Sam - being the ideal hosts - have greater tolerance than us regulars, it’s gonna leave them weakened, it’s just got to. Hell, just being possessed by fill-in-the-blank leaves ya with the weeble-wobbles for a bit. Primo chance for Michael to set up shop in Dean.

Then, Nash, since angels need permission, how’d Michael do that? you may ask.

Occam’s razor --> Dean gave Michael “the soul”/”the entity”/whatever permission, and that goes across the realm, alt timelines/dimensions/whatnots. Or, maybe Dean chose the lesser of the two evils, so to speak - he’s boned at this interval anyhow, so if the opportunity arose, if it’s me, I’m choosing the frying pan over the fire - at least I’ve bought myself (and my loved ones, and the world) some time. Either of those work for what I intimated in the story.

Bottom line: however it went down, that’s for your imagination to choose.

A point that’s called back to later, as well as Nash Be Nashin’, RE: I’ve no idea why they opted to dress him in that style. There’s other stylings that are stark contrasts to Dean’s without going full-court-press cosplay, but whatevs. In any event, assuming my premise is taken - that the worlds played out the same for the most part and the ‘20s were a fave and would explain the wardrobe - this can apply to both Mike and Michael.

For those of you fortunate enough to have missed slogging through Sunday school, allow me: S&G was apparently a hotbed of sin, and they were gonna get the fire-and-brimstone treatment. Abraham asked angels who visited him if they’d spare the righteous, because there was at least one group there who was: his nephew Lot’s family. Two more angels were sent to investigate, Lot was awesome to them, welcomed them in without knowing they were angels, etc. So when time came to fire things up, the angels fessed up about who they were and why they were there, and told them (Lot and his crew) that they needed to just leave and not look back. And whoopsie, Lot’s wife found out that wasn’t metaphorical, as when she turned to get one last look at her home going up in flames, wha-BAM! She got turned into a pillar of salt.

So here might be the first subconscious “Hmmm” from your mind - that doesn’t really sync up with what we know of Mike. I don’t think he gives a shit about how much he sins to get what he wants. I bet he can’t even spell benevolence. Read this in Michael’s voice, though, and I hear that whole justifying thing again, the “don’t really want to, but got to” mindset.

See above, RE: “...but I labored more abundantly than them all”. Plus, speaks to arrogance, applicable to both Michael and Mike.

---> “The” earth, eh? ;) 

---> Theology-wise, Michael’s only named a couple times, if memory serves... actually most of them are name dropped just a handful of times... did they namedrop Gabe as the one who told Mary she was preggers? I’m not looking it up.

Anyway, theologians have assigned certain “messages” delivered and punishments as being enacted by specific angels, I won’t go down that road here, I’ve no clue how they managed to arrive at those conclusions. Point is that Michael was a guardian, of heaven and of certain places/people on earth, depending on where God assigned. I wanna say Daniel and the lion’s den was one of them. Not looking that up, either.

---> "Temporarily”, hmmm.... that other world looked plenty definitively apoca-sized to me. In any event, floods is a ref to the Noah story, and if memory serves, Michael is thought by some to have been the “angel of death” that struck down the firstborn sons during the plagues of Egypt.

Also also - I’d speculate he’s taken on some self-imposed blame for Lucifer sneaking into the garden and tempting Adam & Eve, as he is so convicted in SPN land about righting the wrongs Lucifer brought upon the world, and that’s the event that kicked shit off. 

---> O.T. (old testament) God took no shit, got smitey on a dime. New Testament God (a.k.a. - post-Jesus time) flipped a switch to a more fatherly figure. 

---> The absence thing is SPN canon.

---> The differing legends is me thumbing my nose at their neglect of both their own canon and theology. #dammit Dabb

---> So, again, choose your poison - Luci getting into the garden, then Michael having to wage battle in heaven to boot him (and, let’s be real, he likely had followers that got nailed, too), etc. etc. etc.

---> The plans refer to the stuff up there from the wiki - that was an intricate damn plan. Deceptive, sure, but again that whole “bigger picture” mentality. 

---> RE: beloved - yeah, that’s not sounding like the Mike we’ve been presented with.

Now that’s a pretty detailed thing to know about a random coffee joint in a random town in a random state in a strange world, wouldn’t you say? ;)

---> Trinities, trifectas, triples - threes are trendy numbers in stories and legends and oral tradition, so it comes up here multiple times, as well. And he’s talking about Jesus, of course, and the green Nashy line is me thinking “Wonder what he thought about Amara?” 

(’Cause I’m of the thought that Amara + Chuck = God, yin-yang and all, but from the very black-and-white Michael’s perspective, I could see him playing nice but not buying into it, and I mean, he was part of the crew that banished her on Chuck’s orders, so there you go. He may not have even been privy to the scoop that they were the corporeal forms of light/dark, maybe just of the understanding that she was his meddling aunt, and of course he was gonna do whatever his dad told him to do. Anyhow, I think that adds additional texture to why it frustrates him so much that Luci couldn’t fall in line, why Luci always had to ask questions. ---> and that’s just me, there’s no way y’all could’ve inferred it from just that, you’re not psychic, I’m just sharing. I digress. I’m good for some heavy digressin’.)

There is a specific things-come-in-threes story that’s my baseline, but I’ll tell you further down after #3 hits.

On we go...

The chick we come to know as Grace does not catch his eye because she is pretty or sweet or in need of assistance or pouty or flirty or super-smart, or even beautiful or too shy and bookish, but if she’d just take off those damn glasses and let her hair out of that ponytail she might be, whatever trope you wanna throw on her - she’s a sinner, another hopeless sinner in a long line of humans who were/are fucking this joint up.

---> There’s several feet-washing stories in the Bible. I hate feet. That’s not in the Bible, and has no bearing here. Add it to your Nash factoids. Moving on. 

The one I had in mind is below, and Imma c/p the pertinent parts because lazy. Bolding is mine, natch. In Luke 7....

36 One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, so Jesus went into the Pharisee’s house and sat at the table. 37 A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume 38 and stood behind Jesus at his feet, crying. She began to wash his feet with her tears, and she dried them with her hair, kissing them many times and rubbing them with the perfume. 39 When the Pharisee who asked Jesus to come to his house saw this, he thought to himself, “If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!”

40 Jesus said to the Pharisee, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”

Simon said, “Teacher, tell me.”

[parable]

44 Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. 47 I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.”

48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” [...] “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”

The other 4 gospels - Matthew, Mark & John - tell a similar story. (But in John’s the woman isn’t a random - it’s one of the sisters of Lazarus, the guy Jesus raised from the dead. #cool trivia digression)

 --> “Hot as hell” and “thank God” is just Nash Be Nashin’.

--> Start of the main trinity (1A)

--> Again, he’s not digging on her because she’s so awesomesauce in some typical way; she’s a dichotomy to him, sin with sweet. He’s a black-and-white kind of guy (and pretty much every angel we’ve met). It’s interesting to him, that seeming heel-turn. We’ll call back to those verses above here in a bit, with respect to how he feels about her as he spends more time with her.

Quickie trinity.

Nash Be Nashin’.

Recurring theme, forgiveness; also - that sound like Mike to you? At least, at this point? Eh. Maybe. If he’s trying to manipulate. But on the other hand - if this were Mike - has she got something he wants/needs? Manipulate Dean, sure; manipulate rando server chick? Possible. But nah. 

---> Would Mike ask that? Why would he care? But Michael might, trying to get a bead on this human. ‘Cause remember, this is an angel who has had sparing contact with humans since he’s been in charge, he’s been dispatching angels for the heavy lifting, he’s not been boots on the ground takin’ care of business for quite awhile. His only in-depth contact has been the Winchesters, and that was only when he had to step in.

---> Also, close siblings recurring theme (close because able to joke around as well as later, when she mentions he’d vent to her about his time in war but not to the same degree as he did the rest of their family)

---> the main trinity of this story, part deux (and don’t get ahead of me; fine, I’ll do it for you: no, Michael having the nickname I mention later isn’t Biblical)

---> Lucifer was called The Morning Star (see also dictionary, re: “luciferous”)

---> Now that would be a really pretty damn specific thing for Mike to know. 

---> The keep an eye out - again, reinforcing the theme that Michael whiffed not seeing the Lucifer thing coming; also lawbreakers looking out for the authorities, a contrast with an authority - God/Michael/et al - looking out for wrongdoers. 

---> Park with a sandbox, Nash Be Nashin’

---> Bit tricksy; could go to Mike coming from his world to here, could be Michael feeling like this is a world he doesn’t know anymore after all his time in the cage; regardless, sets a tone of “She gets me”

Whether you cotton to my assertion that Michael may feel guilt for not seeing the Lucifer stuff coming and preventing his initial ingress (Eden), it’s theology 101 that Lucifer brought all things evil and sin and demon and hell and blah blah blah to humankind. And Michael beat him in heaven, but it’s been less offense and more defense ever since; reacting to Luci vs. bringing the game to him. Which is what Michael was finally doing, when the Winchesters didn’t agree to be vessels and let it play out like he’d planned.

So, Saint Michael on the theology end, ruling heaven in Chuck’s absence on the SPN canon end, and Michael’s arrogant, to be sure. He assumed his plan would go off without a hitch, and maybe if it’d been the Hardy Boys instead of the Winchesters, it would’ve [shrugs]

---> Nash Be Nashin’ - trying to poke your subconscious to think about that shot of them falling into the hole, to the cage

---> Could we describe Mike as “broken”? I couldn’t. More to the point, does he behave as if he might consider himself “broken”? Hmmm.

---> I guess that last bit could go either way; for me, I’m thinking of how Lucifer must’ve behaved in the cage, which we got a taste of via Sam’s hallucinations, and perhaps it being too quiet once he was gone. Sometimes being left alone with your thoughts is a bad time.

Again, canon - Lucifer never met a quiet moment he didn’t wanna fill.

So this is just me doing a second sin in the sin trilogy for Michael, as well as adding another piece of common ground between him and Grace with the nickname thing. The only Biblical truth there is the whole “Mark of the Beast” thing. Next time you get drunk or lit on whatever, read you some Revelations, it’ll either knock you out the rest of the way or give you fantastic nightmares.

What I just said, RE: second part of the Michael Lies Super Easy When It Comes To This Chick trilogy. I mean, not really - it’s coming from a good place, he doesn’t want to scare her, and if he told her the truth, where would he even start? Especially with her not being religious. He’s so far behind the eight ball, he’s under the pool table.

---> So here’s the trinity tale that’s the base for why I put this in the story. It’s in all four gospels (Matthew/Mark/Luke/John), and it’s about how at the Last Supper (which happens right before the crucifixion of Jesus goes down), they’re talking about how one of them would betray Jesus (re: Judas), and an apostle named Peter speaks up.

(Oh! Speaking of, there’s another triple play for ya - Jesus ends up on a cross between two criminals. Okay, back to the passages)

Matthew:

Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”

Mark:

Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.”

But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”

Luke:

But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

John:

Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”

Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”

Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”

Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? Very truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”

---> Grace be shinin’, Nash Be Nashin’

---> What made him kiss her / risk the “sin”? She walked with him. (”Lord I am ready to go with you...”). She listened. She comforted him. She forgave him when he asked for it (re: for scaring her). She believed he wasn’t a horrible “person”. Prompted him to consider there might be a place/time where he wasn’t (see below, RE: “perhaps”). 

A la.... 

But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” [...] “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”

---> You may’ve noticed I didn’t call him Michael until Dean was gone during the kiss - that was on purpose. Because that was him making that decision, no (potential) Dean influence on board. And I didn’t have him call Dean by his name, being very distant throughout, until they talked about brothers, their common ground. He’s finding common ground with humans - a new kind of hallowed ground - versus being solely their guardian or their punisher, depending. This is (likely, hopefully) a good thing.

---> RE: sin - see below

---> This is your call to make - was it actually apple-flavored lip balm? Or was it strawberry/random fruity-flavored lip balm like Dean thought, and it just tasted like apples to Michael?

In any event, RE: “tasted like sin” - apples have been commonly used in art/stories as representing the fruit Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil back in the garden, a.k.a. - the original sin

HOME STRETCH!

[Full disclosure: based on early feedback, from here on out - if you were an early reader - you may notice there’s been a few tweaked lines since original publish, so I may be about to clarify things that are now - with the tweaks - obvious to you. I’m just sayin’.]

By this point, I’d hope you’d been kinda thinking, “I appreciate Nash’s effort to make Mike be not a complete asshole, but holy moly I have been suspending my disbelief like a mo-fo as this went on, why does he give a shit about this chick or about chatting with Dean all friendly, etc.”

---> That “Why didn’t we....” part should scream “THIS ISN’T MIKE”. I hope.

---> It’s been about 10 yrs. since Stull / when Michael took the dive

---> “Is there...” / “Perhaps” -- and maybe it’s this one. Maybe it’s the world he’s always known, but not been part of; remains to be seen. He’s a different dude. This ain’t the same angel that went into that cage. Like Chuck said - he’s a mess. Or maybe, now, could we say... was a mess? Hmmm. Different, though. Definitely different. Not terribly un-canon, not a huge jump to make, in my mind. 

And, you know, The Cage was Luci’s big punishment, right? And he’s fine. Anytime we saw him, in the caboose version or just-been-sprung, he’s been same-ol’, same-ol’. So maybe it’s simply an isolation room, and it’s only been BAD-bad for Sam and Adam and Michael, because Luci was there messing with them, because he’s bored off his ass. That’s why I posit The Cage may not be anything beyond blank space, as it were, if Luci’s not present. 

What Mike would “likely” bring? Nah. Mike’s on the express train to domination. He’s not messing around.

Nash Be Nashin’. I am, on occasion, poetic. “His” is a callback to “my Michael”, and the “g” in “grace” is lower case on purpose. [clears throat, c/ps from up yonder....]

Grace don’t come in just one form, yo. There’s lots floating out there. Just gotta pay attention. Know what to watch for.

And here’s the hammer:

Hmmmm....

---> Dean knows Mike’s been thinking of it; to quote Black Widow, that’s not a question that needs answering.

---> “Still”? “Do-over?” - Mike’s had his apocalypse. Do-over of what? That implies Mike’s tried to pull off Apocaworld, Part Deux here, and... he hasn’t tried at this point. He’d said they were already looking into what all other worlds they could get to before Jack’s birth caused our rift and they saw an opportunity for a better way, but Mike’s not taken a run at our world; Michael has. (Bit of a misleading, open-to-interpretation / could apply to Mike line, though, I grant you.)

---> “over there” - already mentioned “head to the cage”, ergo “there” is “cage”

---> “act” / “figure it out” - thaaaat’s nooot Miiiike, your subconscious sings!

---> Say I’m Mike. 

I’m a tactical mofo. I know how to spot an enemy, it’s why I was gonna take out Jack emotionally if I couldn’t cripple him or kill him. I hit this new world. I’m inside a very handsome I MEAN powerful bod. I am locked and loaded. What’s first on the agenda now that I’ve got the ammo?

I take out potential threats. Dean’s an obstacle, true, but he’ll be tucked away going night-night for at least a bit, and I can likely wash-rinse-repeat as needed. Obstacle, though - he’s not an inherent threat to me. Lucifer’s out of the way. Raphael’s out of the way. Gabriel’s out of the way.

Oh. Oh noooes, FML: I’m not out of the way. 

And holy shit - the holiest of all the shits - I could take myself out. Isn’t he in the Fort Knox of binding-thingy-traps-whatever?

But wait. Waaaaait, wait - that cage must be made of aluminum foil, I can see Dean’s memories. Some tacky decoder rings opened it up, his brother Sam got pulled from it, then the angel of death got Sam’s soul out of it, rando witch called up the caboose of it like it was Uber, Lucifer popped Dean and his crew in-and-out of it, and didn’t that demon Crowley use parts of it for some ill-explained ingredient to hold Lucifer hostage like it was melty MacGuffin cheese? Is there not a doorman or something?! Can they get pizza delivered down there, too, I mean TF?

Ooooh, now this is interesting. Chuckie told Dean Michael’s beyond his repair. Lucifer said Michael’s a mess... well. Consider that source. But still. Risk not too high, reward could be very high.

Yeah. I’m totes arrogant enough. This is gonna be a cake-walk.

---> Except... time moves differently in the cage, we know that. So Lucifer’s been gone for... hell, who knows how long. What state Michael might be in now is a mystery. He’s had time to regroup, at the very least, without his chief antagonist lording over him. So is it implausible that Michael could be the key to nailing Mike’s ass to the wall? Might it even be probable? 

The board of directors at NashHole, Inc. voted “Yeeeeessss”.

Again, bro-love, evergreen recurring theme. So, here it is:

If I’m Michael, my perspective would be that Mike can handle his world how he pleases, and he did. But now he’s on my turf. I’m taking great umbrage with this power-hungry twin of mine coming over here and having the audacity to make decisions, take over my destiny, etc.

And then another part of it - Michael’s not only had a lot of time in the cage to get his mojo back, he’s also had time to process the whole situation, what led him to this place, the part he played. I’d imagine a part of him is still gripping onto his convictions, while on the other hand starting to realize that there are parts of this world - and people in this world - that already make it a paradise despite all that Lucifer/demons/the supernaturals have done. 

Maybe an apocalypse isn’t the answer. Maybe Lucifer doesn’t have to die. Bottom line, that ain’t Mike’s call to make; it’s Michael’s.

Last thing!

Handful of you asked about how Mike would’ve opened the cage, how a fight would’ve gone down if Michael’s still in Adam, what about Adam, and my answer is - does it matter? I know, I know, that sounds snotty; it matters in the sense that you asked, so it matters to you. Where I’m coming from is that this isn’t what the story is about, not for me. But hey - you fill in those blanks however your heart desires, truly. Or pretend that twist at the end never happened, and think of this as Mike the whole way through. :) 

.....

.....

.....

That cage is made of chewed gum and pipe cleaners, a hamster could get in there, I’m done, I’m DONE, okay bye.

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