#i have more to say but ughhhhhhhh

[get-more-bald]

every day I thank god fans aren't in charge of making updates to games

[dizzybevvie]

Maybe I should confront the idea that I immediately latched onto Roxas because Im autistic

[usertoxicyaoi]

ughhhh if only discovering new music could be classed as a professional hobby 😔.

[themyscirah]

I think Simon should get to talk to Jess' ring actually. Like they should get to talk one-on-one why isn't that a thing that should be a thing

[fagdykevash]

having a vld specific blog is. more difficult than i thought it'd be??? like i can't post my writing or art bc yk. rejection. but i can't reblog anything bc even looking at one (1) headcanon gets me overstimulated. sighs

[eyelessfaces]

Thank you for quite literally being the only llewyn writer ever

it indeed is a crisis... 🫡

[aequitaes]

@sicsemper suffer my tag rambles. ✌🏻

The way Haikaveh/Kavetham is written in a way that makes both of them have their individual characters while also being an integral part in each other's lives. Both of them have their own beliefs and ideology. They both have different things they work on, Alhaitham being this avid researcher and Kaveh being this idealistic artist. Their characters don't necessarily revolve around each other all the time, but there is no doubt that they are both very important people to each other. Kaveh is the exception to Alhaitham, and Alhaitham grounds Kaveh. They each complete the other while the other completes them. So even though they're their own people, you can't separate the influence they have on each other.

[jupiter--dream]

BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY sorry this is not THAT "sophisticated" but I didn't know which middle point to find between sketch and an actual drawing, but JUST.

okay ever since I made that one post about Cream that led to @plasma-studios's (sorry for the @ lol x'd) FANTASTIC analysis on Cream angst, they've been rattling in my brain and just. UGHHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, THEY HAVE SM UNTAPPED ANGST POTENTIAL

BUT! this is not really angst, in fact, I'd say it leans more towards the hurt/comfort -> healing aspect of the relationship; loving each other and learning to love themselves. This is meant to be written in a way where they could both be saying it ofc!! that's the point!! in learning to love the other and see the other's value they start seeing their own and just UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Look. LOOK. UGHHHHHHHH

The tragic yaoi, the tragic yaoi, but hopeful yaoi, hopeful yaoi

[rowarn]

RO OH MY GOD PLEASEEEE I NEED MORE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND KÖNIG :(( just imagine seeing him again and he's so BIG AHHH i would fold immediately

GOOOOOOOD INAGINE OPENING UR DOOR AND JUST SEEING HIS BIG ASS JUST STANDING THERE, HAVING TO STOOP DOWN A BIT TO SEE UNDER THE DOOR UGHHHHHHHH I WOULD BE ON MY KNEES RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!!!!!

anyway childhood friend könig who is a tad bit unreliable. he comes back into your life for a brief period, gets you comfortable with having him by your side again. and then he just leaves. no word. no communication. just gone. u find out from his mother that he was deployed and you're just so confused why he didn't say anything. you're left for 2 whole months just wondering if he was angry with you. then he comes back, acting like nothing happened. just fits himself back into your life and you decide to let it go and not say anything. but then it happens again. and again. and again. he constantly just leaves with no word, leaving you in the dark wondering for days until you get confirmation that he's been deployed. you never know how long, never know if he was upset before he left, never know why he just leaves like that. but it makes u feel so unimportant, makes you feel used because he comes back like nothing happened, eats the dinner you make, spends time with you, sleeps with you, gets you wrapped around his finger again only to be gone the next minute. when you tell him how you feel he gets angry and blames you for being clingy bc he doesn't understand that you care about him and that you want to know when he's leaving and he doesn't think it's fair for you to keep tabs on him because you're not his mother so why should he )-: you're just friends. friends who have sex. and he doesn't understand that you don't want to be something to warm his cock when he's home just for him to leave you in the dark like u mean nothing to him

[demigoddreamer]

The adaptation of Dazai's farewell, while not perfect(cough missing flashbacks cough), is still fucking amazing.

Ther lighting was perfect. THE PAUSE Dazai had, while having his gay memory montage over Chuuya. Red and Blue lol.

But the way he thought about their relationship from when they were 15 and how they've always trusted and depended on each other even if they argued. The way they are two souls in different bodies. Dazai thinks Chuuya's so incredibly human and seeing him as a vampire must hurt but he believes in Chuuya's humanity more than anyone else.

Seeing him drown in a box might bring up different memories of a lab and unethical human experimentation(see Stormbringer Light Novel)

The way he lets himself look vulnerable and worried, maybe sad before he closes off his own humanity because he's playing a game with one of the world's most dangerous men. Just UGHHHHHHHH. Dazai can't be open with anyone other than Chuuya.

They say eyes are a window to the soul right? That's why his eyes are closed/blocked.

And the way his smile is so goddamn fake in the end of the scene where he says "he can't think of any moments where they understood each other" Because Dazai is always forced to put on a facade except when it comes to Chuuya.

Chuuya is the only one who can understand Dazai's true motive so I'm thinking maybe even in vampire mode, he'll see Dazai's intent even if he thinks he's being annoyed about it. Dazai is showing Fyodor right now that what they have is nothing shallow and I think it's beautiful how they try so fucking hard to understand each other even if they can't be honest with each other.

[rosicheeks]

Update

.

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED NCT FICS OF JULY 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my nct recs of july! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Baseball (& Other Disasters) || @tqmies💕✅

↳ Everyone admired Mark Lee, starting pitcher of your school’s baseball team and famed ladies man. You, on the other hand, only know him as the boy who broke your dorm lobbies microwave the first time you met. Too bad that was all it took to grow an embarrassingly huge crush on him. So when he comes to you, in need of a new baseball manager, how could you say no to that face? (Spoiler: You couldn’t) 

Let You || @waerie💕✅💯💯

↳ jisung would never let anyone ruin his game, so he says to his friends. but the claim deteriorates when you come. (stop this is the cutest jisung fic that i have read in this month. fcking enjoyed this fic so much with all of the cuteness)

Reminiscing || @ihaechans​​​​💕✅

↳ Time flies. Especially with best friend and nerdy ride or die Mark Lee. Reminiscing on the rooftop leads to foreign emotions and forgotten memories to rise to the surface, and the obvious tension between you two can no longer be avoided.

April Showers || @lelengerine💕✅

↳ you never liked staying out while it rained, but perhaps you’d be okay with being all soaked if it meant being with him.

Caramel || @nctmiami💕✅

↳ jaehyun can’t wait to get home to you after a boys trip

Exhaustion || @xrenjunniesx💕✅

↳ moving houses is tiring, but it’s easier when you’re with your loved one.

Flustered By You || @lelengerine💕✅

↳ your boyfriend surely knows how to make you flustered, even when he’s the one who should be.

Fucking Up The Sheets || @ah-ga-seven​​​​🔞✅

↳ (no summary, but its just jaehyun casually fcking up the sheets.)

Rule Number 1: Don't Fall In Love || @jaylaxies🔞💕💔✅

↳ your ex getting a girlfriend after just two weeks of breakup was enough to infuriate you to the point where you had to step up and make him regret breaking your heart. solution? fake date his best friend and make him jealous!

How About Now? || @nctsplug02🔞✅

↳ Anon Req: Recently I been thinking about romantic sensual sex with Johnny but it lasts like the whole night. Different positions, cuddles, cream pies UGHHHHHHHH I WANT THIS MANNB 😭😭😩😩😩

Lowkey || @onyourhyuck🔞✅

↳ You and Jaemin are best friends but behind the close doors you have a lowkey relationship that no one knows about.

Wicked Games || @cherryeoniis​​​​💕✅

↳ And even as your heart breaks, you can’t deny that having him against you feels like your own small piece of heaven.

After You || @ryozaki21🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

Blue To Orange || @seren1tyhaze🔞✅

↳ your break up leaves you with a plane ticket to Greece on a couples trip with your best friend and her partner. she convinces you to still come on the trip and you meet two strangers who leave you with memories of long nights under a stunning starry sky.

Dog Sitting Gone Wrong || @onyourhyuck🔞✅

↳ You were hired by a rich man to babysit his daughter, when you arrive you realise his daughter is a dog and you’re now dog sitting while he is out running errands.

Hotel Paradise || @jaesheart🔞✅💯

↳ you visit an exclusive brothel for the second time to satisfy your needs.

My Little Doll || @haechansdoll🔞✅💯

↳ Humans have hormones, you understand that much. But does that explain why you can't stop the filthy daydreams that fill your head whenever you see a specific redhead? Does it excuse you for getting turned on by him simply breathing in your direction? And to make matters worse, he is off-limits, if your father found out you were messing with his prized boxer? You would be chained to a tower and your red-haired crush would be used as mincemeat.

Sunday Sinner || @smileysuh🔞✅💯

↳ “Everything is wrong,” Mark sighs. “Doing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in��Church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But… as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.”

The V Week Spy || @smileysuh🔞✅💯

↳ Every year, seven days before Valentines day, sororities and frats are paired together, and eligible himbos, hoes, bimbos and fuckboys alike volunteer to be raffled for a chance to become the year’s V Week Spy. V Week is open season, with outings and parties tailored to be the perfect excuse for sexscapades, with the knowledge than 1 boy and 1 girl are undercover, grading sexual performances. Once the week is over, at the annual Valentines Day Party, the evaluations are presented- It’s a bad time to be unsure about someone’s feelings towards you, and an even worse time to fall in love. (get out, this literally screams the mafia game but sexedition. i love it)

Wanna Ride? || @onyourhyuck🔞✅💯💯💯

↳ (if you enjoy reading biker!au's, yall should really read this series. cause sht was wonderful af and spicy)

Strawberry Sunday || @doiesfav💕✅💯

↳ You realized that your daughter would feel awkward with his own dad sometimes so you decided to do a picnic to help them improve their relationship.

Dirty, Little, Traitor || @onyourhyuck🔞✅

↳ Wherein you asked your roommate Mark to help you out with rearranging your room but ends up rearranging you instead.

Ice Cream Thief || @tddyhyck🔞✅

↳ someone has been eating haechan's favorite ice cream so he decides to put a hidden camera in the kitchen and living room thinking it's a shared space it shouldn't invade anyone's privacy... right?

Safety Zone || @cherryeoniis​​​​💕💔✅💯

↳ Mark Lee. The most perfect roommate and best friend that you could have asked for - except for the fact that he constantly messes up your laundry and can’t cook eggs very well. Even then, that doesn’t quite stop you from falling for him in your final year.

Finding Cinderella || @justalildumpling💕💔✅💯

↳ it wasn’t often jeno showed emotions of love and affection, let alone kissing a stranger at a party that he doesn’t even remember?! determined to find his nameless cinderella, he began searching the campus far and wide but as hidden secrets started surfacing, he started to wonder whether the midnight spark was meant to be pursued after all.

*i think half of my reblogs for july for nct were all texts, and i am fine with that. so for this, imma rec the ones that had me choking on my spit from cackling.*

Getting Picked Up Texts || @ohmygs-blog💕✅

↳ Anon Req: "hi, can I request where the dreamies are picking u up from school/work? cause everyone at work was picked up by their partners and I’m here waiting for a taxi cab lol y isn’t haechan picking me up smh 🤦‍♀️ thank you so much! I really love your works, and I really look forward to your new posts, they make me happy! ^^" ("you can ride on my handlebars" i cackled a bit too hard that i choked on my spit.)

Pulling Another Member's Photocard || @onyour--ash💕✅

↳ (the title says it all. haechans is fcking too real. my guy i like looking at mark too. but also jaemin having a jeno collection, im ngl he probably does have a folder on his phone dedicated to jeno.)

Fuck The Police || @loudstan🔞✅💯

↳ Your ability to read people's minds is very useful for the police during interrogations. And that's how you meet Yuta, a werewolf accused of stealing a car.

Do check out all of the other NCT Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[moonieandi]

rant//

ohhhhh my wooorrrrdddd!

so sorry for this but I need a place to express myself a little. just the absolute turmoil of this week people ughhhhhhhh…. had to weigh two job offers and one was close to home and the other was close to friends and significant other… approximately 10 hr away. my family had to walk me to the ledge and tell me to move today omggg I have no more tears I am finally relaxed. Who knew this would be so stressful? I thought finding a big girl job would be cool and super exciting why am I absolutely dreading everything? Probably bc I chose a career field full of men…. Or maybe it’s just the thought of being 10 hr away. Just ugh def glad that’s all over (sorta maybe kinda) also I have to still send a rejection email to one of them, how does someone do that again? Need to draft that up before Monday….. apartment hunting will be just as bad Ik it 😭

Excited to be close to friends again tho! And the place I’m moving is so pretty and cute but I’m just… sitting in a ball of dread still. If you would have told little me I’d be moving this distance I’d scoff in ur face fr…. I’ll have to say goodbye to some childhood friends for a while too but luckily both r so v busy w school so there won’t be a huge hole where I used to be. I will be back tho I think… a temporary move… of about 4-5 years lol. I guess u only live once tho!

But now that that’s all done I can write again Yipee! When I get so stressed I just ugh fall flat w writing. Thanks all for ur patience it’s just my life is shifting around a lot rn (hopefully for the better)

Will be posting soon lots of love 💕

[dragon-queen21]

i ask…dare i say BEG….for more hurt zenitsu in baby space!!! him babbling after just barely waking up, not understanding why the world is so fuzzy and why his body hurts so much, head too clouded from his previously sleeping form that he can’t even cry out or express how much he aches UGHHHHHHHH

i wanna wrap him up in a blanket and tell him it’s gonna be okay

Babyspace Zenitsu headcanons

Ask and you shall receive :3

Tw: general angst, injury, vent regression

~~~

~Zenitsu first wakes up and doesn’t realize how little he is. Tries to get up and walk and the floor comes up to meet him.

~Way to many bad, overwhelming feelings

~Too tired to properly stim. Just ends uo flailing a bunch and nearly smacking his caregiver’s in the face

~I feel Like Tanjiro and Inosuke would do their best to take care of him, but if they come back from a mission where they were all together this can end up being a nightmare of three very overwhelmed littles. (Tanjiro would take this the hardest as he feels he should be the one to look after the other two. Inosuke just gives up and goes to bed. Crying child be damned he feels horribly sick himself.)

~Trying to dress his wounds and figure out what is bothering him so much is a fruitless struggle

~Poor baby would disassociate so much. Too much pain and just far too little

~His caregiver talking to him and only catching part of what’s being said. Being so frustrated with himself at having no idea what’s being said even when he’s trying to focus

~And that horribly headachy feeling of getting too much sleep but still feeling horribly tired just makes him all the more fussy

~He needs to just be swaddled up sightly, held in someone’s lap and given a stuffed animal friend to cope

[leatherbookmark]

ssooo my early s2 impression's confirming itself: the show is at its best writing-wise when it's about the crew faffing around and low-stake Events that can be summed up in one sentence. ie, s1 episodes 5-8, they don't have much going on in terms of plot, the premises are basic, so everything that happens feels organic and unhurried. now we have Events and Beats that Need to happen, we have more characters that Need Screentime, and it just... doesn't work as well? the episodes aren't even a little bit longer, like 40 minutes instead of 30, so while in s1 scenes where the characters went "okay, so here's the situation and here's what we're doing!" were fine, in s2 it just feels grating and i kind of feel like the writers have bitten off more than they can chew :/

mannnn ep6 is a bit of a mess tbh? giving off strong It Was Written vibes, not really a fan tbh

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

By Your Side

Okay so this was *supposed* to be a funny "Agi gets high and is silly with Astarion" fic but it turned out a little bit more serious with added Whatever the Fuck Sorcery Agi does lol. Mostly SFW.

“How are you doing, darling?” Astarion cooed at his well, we’re not lovers in the traditional sense perhaps…companion? Yes, my companion! He looked at Agnetha with such fondness that if he saw it in anyone else, he’d scoff. But not with her and I. No, I am that fond of her. I love her so dearly.

After taking up Halsin on his offer to give her herbs to help her relax (my poor sweet deals with so much) and smoking them, she was currently staring at Astarion, her brown eyes wide but definitely glazed over. “I am fine and dandy, love. Everything is so nice, you know?”

“It is, sweetness, especially with you.” One of his pale hands tapped her thighs, and he smiled. She’s so soft and warm. Perfect. I always need to touch her…

“Ughhhhhhhh, you silly bitch, you don’t have to use your lines on me anymore. You got me!”

Did she just…?!? He laughed, squeezing her softness. “I’m a what, darling?”

She snorted. “Silly bitch. Because you are. But it’s okay obviously!!!” Good gods, she’s giving those puppy dog eyes. “Because I love you.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed a finger on his lips. “I know you won’t say it to me. I know. It’s okay. I know you will someday.”

“I…” He struggled to find the words, any word, to express both the relief of her reassurance and sadness. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who will tell her every moment of every day for the rest of her life that she is loved. Someone who will make love to her whenever she wishes. For as long as she desires. Someone who isn’t me. “You know I do, right? You know how I feel?” Wait, she’s high as fuck and I’m asking her about knowing how much I love her? Idiot.

Agnetha nodded, smiling happily. “’Course I do. You say it all the time without actually saying it.” She thought for a moment and then grinned. “Like when you always watch my ass in fights.” I won’t lie I do in fact do that, but I believe she meant watching her back. “You make sure I’m okay. You never let anything near me.” Not if I can help it, no. I will slaughter anyone who tries to hurt you. “You’re always trying to touch me in some way. Don’t think I don’t notice!” She just tapped her finger on her nose. Now she’s giggling like a mad woman. Agnetha undid her ponytail and twirled a few of her long, red curls between her fingers. “You brush my hair every day. You love to bathe with me. You patch up my clothes and even…you know…” Let them out as much as I’m able. We never find anything that truly fits her, poor dear. If we manage to kill Cazador, I’ll make her whatever she wants. Everything she wants. “Help me with them…I know you love me. It’s in everything you do for me. Though,” her gaze returned to his. “There is something I need to know, okay? Just one thing.”

“A-alright. What is it?” Every muscle in his body tensed, afraid of what she was going to ask.

“Will you be there when I’m old? I could understand if that’s not what you want—oh!”

Always. He hugged so hard and so quickly that she toppled backwards, her head hitting a pillow. “I will be by your side for as long as you’ll have me. I promise.” Resting his head on her ample chest, he felt her rubbing his hair.

She let out an adorable little gasp. “Forever then, Star?”

Always. “If that’s what you want, darling, then yes. Forever it is.” It won’t be forever though. She’s a human---her life will end in the blink of an eye. She’ll be gone, and I’ll be alone…alone…all alone… Blinking back tears, he nearly began to sob when she began to rub his back.

“It’s okay. I’ll think of something. I will. Just you wait and see, love…” She whispered softly, rocking them both gently. “It’s okay. I’ll do some magic shit and make it alright.”

He shook his head, a small laugh escaping him. Oh my darling girl, not everything can be solved with you thinking very hard and making magic happen. Though if anyone can, it’s you. “Will you now?”

“Yep.”

Well, that’s definitive.

***

Ten years after their marriage, Astarion was astounded to learn that his wife did indeed “do some magic shit” to make eternity less painful for him. With spells she composed herself (using that beautiful tempest swirling inside her and…feelings, I suppose), she managed to accomplish three things: 1) that her body would remain the same with every reincarnation; 2) that she and Astarion were soul bound to each other; and 3) that they would find each other after her twenty-first nameday. “Because of the binding, we’ll be drawn to each other, seek the other out.” She took one of his hands in hers, her brown eyes full of joy. “You won’t wait too long, love.”

He leaned to her, a hand cupping her cheek. As his lips touched hers (perfect every time), he smiled. “And how will you know that I’m your husband?”

Agnetha chuckled softly. “Just trust me that I’ll know. It’s all up here,” she tapped her head. “And here.” She then tapped her chest over her heart. “After all, I haven’t failed you yet, my naughty little bat.”

Astarion kissed her again, this time with a little more passion, hands sneaking around her much thicker and more delicious waist. “The most popular tailor shop in Baldur’s Gate and seven children. I’d say you haven’t failed me yet, no.” He teased. His fangs scraped lightly over her lips, which never fails to turn her on. “Not that you could anyways, dear.”

She wrinkled her nose and giggled. “Flatterer.” The human placed an affectionate kiss on his nose and cupped his face. “Now we’ll be together forever. Just not in the way that either of us imagined.”

He knew what she meant. The ritual. I had it all planned, you see. I’d complete the ritual, become the Vampire Ascendant, and convince Agi to let me make her into a vampire spawn. There---problem solved. What a fool I was! I would not trade our lives together and the lives we created for anything. “But it is so delightfully us, isn’t it? Full of love and adoration and only slightly mad.”

“Only slightly.” She teased, pressing several kisses to his lips. Gods, I cannot get enough of her. Not now. Not ever. “My mad husband who wants a dozen little dhampirs…”

Two at play at this game, madam. He clicked his tongue as one of the hands on her waist squeezed. “My equally mad wife who wants a dozen little dhampirs and lets me spoil her rotten—”

“Daddy? Mummy?”

Someone didn’t lock the door, Agi.

With one last peck, Agnetha looked at the toddler in their doorway. Pale ginger curls framed the boy’s round face, and ruby eyes glanced between his parents. “What’s the matter, my little love?” She beckoned him over, and he scurried to his mother and soon settled in her arms. “Did you have a bad dream?”

He nodded. “Scary…”

“My poor little Sylven! You can stay with us tonight, darling.” Astarion cooed as he ruffled his son’s hair. The toddler snuggled against his mother, a sight that before his capture by the mindflayers would have disgusted him. But not anymore. Not when I have them. Emilia, Ariane, Sophie, Nessa, Helene, Thora, and Sylven.

And my darling girl.

Before long, the small boy fell asleep cuddled against his mother while his adoring father rubbed circles into his back. “Did I tell what happened earlier?”

He rolled his eyes. “Sweetness, that could be anything.”

She stuck her tongue out. “Fine. Anyways, I asked Sylven when he was playing with the blocks what he wanted to be when he grew up.”

“The suspense is killing me, dear.” Astarion deadpanned, kissing Sylven’s curls.

The look in her eyes turned dreamy. “Daddy. He said Daddy. He wants to be you, love. That was the sweetest damn thing.” She turned her head to face him. “And you thought he wouldn’t love you.” His wife teased, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.

The second we saw that he was a boy I panicked. With the girls it’s so easy for me. I make them the prettiest outfits in Baldur’s Gate, make matching ones for their favorite dolls…have so many tea parties where we gossip like spinster aunts. But a boy. The girls are learning archery so he can too, I suppose. What was I to do with him? I was terrified. And as always, my infinitely wiser wife was correct: “Just go with the flow and listen to him.” Going with the flow has turned out to be excellent advice because he is glued to me, especially when we’re in the shop. He wants to watch me work and pretend he’s sewing too. My little boy wants to be…me. Me. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded before giving her another kiss. “Happy to be proven wrong, darling.”

“I see! Well, I’ll note that for future reference.” She noted rather too smugly. Has she been learning this from me? Because I’m so flattered, dearest. For the next several minutes, they settled in a comfortable if exceedingly sleepy silence. Agnetha’s breathing became slower and deeper, and her eyes fluttered open and closed.

“Silly goose. Go to sleep.” Astarion chided his wife gently, now laying on his side. Rest. You need rest. Between the children, the shop, and ensuring I’m fed every day, you need to rest, darling. “Don’t stay awake for me. I’ll trance in a while.”

A small smile tugged on her pretty lips. “Forever…it isn’t what either of us thought but…we’ll be together…forever…” Eyes full of sleep, she held Sylven closer to her. “Love you, my shining star…”

“As I love you, my darling girl. Have the sweetest dreams for us…”

Always.

Forever.