#if the episode was a slower one ALL about the party and the preparations we could get idk. more shots of izzy looking at wee john

[leatherbookmark]

ssooo my early s2 impression's confirming itself: the show is at its best writing-wise when it's about the crew faffing around and low-stake Events that can be summed up in one sentence. ie, s1 episodes 5-8, they don't have much going on in terms of plot, the premises are basic, so everything that happens feels organic and unhurried. now we have Events and Beats that Need to happen, we have more characters that Need Screentime, and it just... doesn't work as well? the episodes aren't even a little bit longer, like 40 minutes instead of 30, so while in s1 scenes where the characters went "okay, so here's the situation and here's what we're doing!" were fine, in s2 it just feels grating and i kind of feel like the writers have bitten off more than they can chew :/

mannnn ep6 is a bit of a mess tbh? giving off strong It Was Written vibes, not really a fan tbh

[the-bau-quinjet]

Seven Drinks

Bucky x f!reader

Summary: There's a reason Y/N has never had more than 3 drinks around the other avengers, and they're about to find out.

Warnings: depression, thoughts of suicide, panic attacks, angst (don't worry there's fluff too)

Word Count: 4322

a/n: This is inspired by that episode of Brooklyn 99 with 6 drink Amy (I adopted that concept!) and also Halsey's album Manic. :) I hope you like it. Anything in bold is a lyric from one of the songs on the album!

Please let me know if I messed up the trigger warning tags! I've never written anything like this before, so I just want to make sure I do it right.

Masterlist

"We're having a party tonight." Tony's announcement was met with the usual groans of annoyance at having to schmooze with the typical socialites that attended Tony's party. "You know, you are so ungrateful sometimes. here I am trying to throw you a party, and you're complaining!"

"Tony, we all appreciate the effort you go to, but- at least speaking for me- I don't like people." Y/N's response was effortless, swiftly calming Tony and explaining the reactions.

"That is why-" Tony stuttered when he actually registered the words you said. "That doesn't sound like you at all. And besides, this is a party for just us. It'll be more like team building, but without any pre-planned activities. No "smarmy, rich people" to deal with." He directed his last sentence at Bucky, Steve, and Sam.

The team actually seemed excited at the prospect, albeit skeptical of Tony's motivations.

Unsurprisingly, Nat worked up the courage to question him on it first, "what's the catch?"

"No catch. Just friends, food, and lots of alcohol." His grin quickly shifted into a smirk as the entire room turned to look at you.

You groaned slightly, not wanting all the attention. "Look, there is a reason I cap myself at 3 drinks." Holding up one finger, you started to explain, "One drink Y/N is barely any different from my sober self."

Wanda quickly cut you off, "not true! You get louder." She smirked, happy to have added that tidbit of information.

"Fine." With a laugh, you admitted she was right. "I might get the tiniest bit louder." You held up a second finger to continue your explanation, but were once again cut off.

"It's not a bad thing. It's just your happy, bubbly, and slightly louder than normal personality shining through!" Nat added, seeing an opportunity to tease you for being so positive all the time.

"Thanks Nat. Anyway," emphasizing the rudeness of being interrupted twice, you continued, "two drink Y/N is more touchy feely than normal. Not in a creepy way though!"

"I love two drink Y/N. She gives the best hugs!" Thor eagerly added to the conversation, glad to have dropped by when he did.

"Thanks Thor." With a small smile in his direction, you held up a third finger. "Three drink Y/N is the perfect amount of just past tipsy to have fun without doing anything extremely embarrassing. It makes the most sense to stop there." You finished her little speech with your typical smile and a resolute nod of your head.

"Seriously, you need to relax. Just let loose this one time!" Sam tried to encourage you. With the eyes of nearly every avenger set on you, your resolve didn't last very long.

"Fine! Maybe I'll have a fourth drink." You were met with cheers as you rose from your spot on the couch, trying to prepare for the night that was to come.

--

As soon as you stepped off the elevator, you had a drink in your hand. Clearly your friends were going to make sure you got a fourth drink. even Steve seemed excited when he saw you, although his golden boy personality didn't disappear completely.

"You sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured!" Bucky nodded, weirdly enthusiastically, before adding, "Yeah doll, don't drink more than you want to."

"You two are too sweet. Sam's right, but don't tell him I said that." You winked at the two super soldiers, emphasizing the joke. "I should let myself relax sometimes. I'm in a safe place, with friends who won't let anything happen to me. What could a few more drinks really do?" You couldn't help but smile at how true that was. You were surrounded by people who care about you.

"Oh, so now it's a few more drinks? What are we talking here, six drink Y/N? Seven?" Bucky teased.

"You'll have to wait and see, Ducky." You teased right back, knowing how flustered he got at the pet name. Steve laughed at his friend as you walked away, ready for your second drink.

--

Before long, you had your fourth drink in your hand. It was slightly odd how literally everyone was staring at you, but your were three drink Y/N at the time, so you were drunk enough not to care.

You downed the fourth drink, unprepared for the consequences.

"So, Y/N... how do you feel?" Clint braved the waters, everyone eagerly awaiting your reaction.

"That is so nice of you to ask! I feel great! I don't think I've ever been this happy." You jumped up and down, hugging Clint with a huge smile on your face.

"How did you get even happier?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"Do you not like it?" Like a switch had been flipped, you were nearly crying.

"What?! No!" Tony was so taken aback at the tears pooling in your eyes, he froze, unsure how to fix it. He looked around the room for help, but everyone else was just as shocked as him.

"I'll fix it!" You were at the bar, fixing another drink before anyone fully comprehended your mood swing.

You walked back up to the group, sipping from your fifth drink as if nothing happened. "What?" You questioned the odd looks, but before receiving an answer you squealed, again jumping up and down. "Let's dance!" You turned around, ready to move to the more open area before looking back over your shoulder, "Wanda! Nat! Pepper! Come on!"

The women shared a look, ultimately shrugging before joining you on the makeshift dance floor.

-

"Bucky, you've been staring at her for 20 straight minutes. When are you finally gonna talk to her?" Steve couldn't help but pester him about his feelings.

"I can't help it. I've never seen her dance so much. I mean, I know she's always happy, but this is a whole new level." He didn't take his eyes off of you, even when he was responding. "I can't tell her tonight, though. This is the most she's had to drink in years."

He watched as you moved back over to the bar, needing another drink after dancing so much.

"Here we go, six drink Y/N." Bucky gestured to the bar. Steve shook his head, but allowed the change of topic.

-

About five minutes after your sixth drink, you were somehow bounding around with even more energy. You were nearly running around the room, trying to talk to everyone at once.

"Ducky! Have I ever told you I took gymnastics lessons for 7 years when I was younger?" You were bouncing with pent up energy, excited to be sharing more information about yourself.

"No, you've actually never mentioned that." He smiled, enraptured by your childlike enthusiasm, so enraptured that he didn't notice the mischief in your eyes.

"Well, I did! Watch this." You handed a confused Bucky your now empty glass, turning and throwing your arms up. Bucky realized two late what was happening, and with both yours and his glasses in his hands, he couldn't physically stop you.

"Y/N, wait!" His shout had everyone turn and look as you flawlessly executed two cartwheels in a row.

Bucky would swear your smile got even bigger as you turned around to look at him again.

"Normally I can do more, but" you hiccuped, then lowered your voice to a really terrible whisper, "I'm a little drunk." You leaned into him, laughing as if you just told a joke.

Wanda walked up to you with a seventh drink, hoping seven drink Y/N had a little less energy, but happy to see you having so much fun. "Here ya go! One more of your favorites, just like you asked."

"Thank youuuuuu!" You shifted to hug Wanda, leaving Bucky to miss your added warmth.

-

You sipped your seventh drink slower than the rest, quickly running out of energy. Sliding the empty glass across the bar, you slipped out of the party unnoticed, making your way to the kitchen for some pickles- your favorite drunk food.

Your seventh drink hit you just after you opened the pickles. Gone was the happy, bubbly persona you showed the world. The mask slipped away, leaving you alone to contemplate your life choices.

You made your way to to the lounge just outside of the kitchen, choosing to lay on the floor behind the couch and stare out of the large floor to ceiling windows.

-

"Where's Y/N?" Bucky glanced around the room, an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"Huh? Oh, she said she wanted a snack." A very drunk Wanda turned to look at where the food was set up, scrunching her face in confusion when she couldn't find you. "Weird. Maybe she went to the bathroom?"

Bucky, having noticed your absence 8 minutes ago, didn't think you left for a bathroom break. "Maybe." Plus, you always took the girls to the bathroom with you. His eyes flitted about the room, taking one more glance before deciding to go look for you.

He decided to head for the kitchen since Wanda said you wanted a snack. He laughed at the open jar of pickles, knowing you at least passed through this room. He put the pickles away before popping his head into the lounge area.

"Y/N?" He called out, figuring this was the most likely location for you to end up.

You hummed in response, not moving from your spot on the floor. Bucky walked further into the room, slightly confused as to why he could hear you but not see you. That is, until he realized you were laying on the floor behind the couch.

"Why are you on the floor?" He smiled when he found you.

"I'm just looking at the sky." Your voice held a melancholy air as it floated through the room. Bucky's smile faltered, not used to hearing you sad. In the three years he's known you, he's only ever seen you sad because of a movie or tv show. Otherwise, you were quite literally always happy.

"Why-" he faltered, unsure how to check on you. "Is everything okay?" he nearly choked the words out, feeling slightly stressed at your sudden gloominess.

"Yeah." You took a deep breath, slowly letting it out in a deep sigh. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know." You sigh again, still looking at the sky.

Bucky chances another question, wanting to get you talking since you're acting so off. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel... so sorry." You words were so soft that Bucky could barely hear them.

"Sorry?" He tried to hide his confusion, matching your soft tone as he sat down a few feet away from you. "About what doll?"

"Just... because I feel so sad." Tears pooled in your eyes, but you didn't stop staring at the sky.

"What are you sad about?" It's taking everything in him for Bucky not to hold you right now. He doesn't want to make you even more upset, especially because he's never seen you like this.

"No one around me knows who I am..." He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek, shining in the light from the moon.

Bucky moves closer, just close enough for him to reach out and hold your hand. You squeeze it, instant relief flooding through him that he hasn't crossed any boundaries.

He goes to speak, but you cut him off. "I'm not breaking. I won't take it. And I won't ever feel this way again." Your voice is harder, as if your angry with yourself.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay to have feelings. You're allowed to feel like this. Don't push it away. Talk to me. Why don't you think anyone knows who you are? We're all here for you, Y/N." He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, trying to convey how serious he is.

You let out a dry laugh, wiping the the tears from your cheek. "My self preservation..." Bucky can tell there's more to, choosing to wait for you to continue. "All of my reservations..." You sigh again, sitting up, you scoot closer until you can lean your forehead against his shoulder. "I bottle it up. I'm my own biggest enemy." You let out another dry laugh, shaking your head without moving it from its resting place on Bucky's shoulder.

Bucky wraps his arm around you and leans his cheek against your head. "Take your time. You can talk to me." He whispered, trying to keep you talking without getting mad at yourself again.

"Well, I'd like to tell you that my sky is not blue, it's violent rain." The sounds of your sniffles break his heart. "I just pretend everything's fine because that's what I had to do when I was younger." Rather then interrupting, Bucky continues to rub small circles on your hand and your back, encouraging you to continue when you're ready. "Can I tell you a story? I... I think it'll help explain some of it."

"Of course. Anything you need, doll." He curses himself for the pet name, not wanting you to think he's joking. He just can't help it when it comes to you.

"Thank you, ducky." You chuckle, but your words are just as sincere as his. "You know I have two sisters, and I love them with all my heart, but sometimes growing up with them was hard. My older sister, she put so much pressure on herself to succeed. And, she did. She was so good at everything she did, that I felt like I had to be just as perfect.

With my younger sister, it was like it was effortless. She put just as much, if not more pressure on herself. but, she could do anything she tried to, with almost no learning curve. I always felt this crazy amount of pressure to be just as good.

My parents, they didn't really help with that. I mean, they were so supportive and I'm so grateful to them, but it was a lot of pressure. The summer between my junior and senior year of college, I wanted to get an internship. Ya know, to get some experience. It would set me up better for getting a job after graduation.

I spent months looking and applying, but nothing was working out. So, I went home for the summer. My mom would come home everyday and ask me if I got a job yet.

I spent nearly every waking hour looking for a job, even just a part time one for the summer. So one day, when we sat down for dinner and she asked if I got a job yet..."

Bucky could feel how tense you were telling this story, but he knew you needed to get it out.

"I told her, 'no, not yet' and she just seemed so disappointed. She asked if I was even applying and I snapped.

I yelled at her, something that had never really happened before. I told her I was trying. I was doing everything I could. She yelled at me for yelling and said it wasn't unreasonable to ask for updates.

I yelled right back. I kept saying I spend all day everyday trying and just when I finally get a break, she walks in and brings it all up again. I was stressed enough without her constant reminders.

I ended up running away from the table, in tears. I hid in the bathroom, there... there was a pair of scissors on the counter and I really thought about killing myself that day."

The tears are pouring out of you at this point. Bucky threw caution to the wind. He picked you up, maneuvering you to sit across his lap and lean your head on his chest. He kept rubbing circles into your back, murmuring words of encouragement.

"My younger sister tried to check on me, but I wouldn't open the door. My mom stomped down the hallway to her bedroom. I was full on having a panic attack in the hallway bathroom. I think I stayed in there for an hour before I went back to the dinner table.

My dad was in the kitchen. He put my plate in the microwave to heat up dinner for me. I ate through near constant tears, it only got worse every time he tried to ask me what happened. Why I snapped like that.

I wanted to apologize to my mom for yelling, so after I ate I went to her room. I knocked, and when she told me to come in I opened the door. I just remember her looking so angry.

I apologized. I told her I was sorry for yelling. She said something about not being unreasonable again. I cried again. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared.

I couldn't put it into words though, so when she asked me 'of what?' I just shrugged. Then, she asked me if I was on my period.

God. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at her again, To make her understand 'I only wanna die some days. But if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?' I decided that day that I would never try to tell anyone how I actually felt."

Bucky holds you as you cry. You're not sure how long it's been when you can finally breathe enough to talk again.

"I just, so many people have bigger problems then me. I grew up in a loving household. I went to college and made friends. I got a job after I graduated. So why am I so sad sometimes? I just wanna scream but what’s the use? At night, I lay awake and I stare at the door, I just can’t take it no more."

Bucky continues comforting you when he speaks again. "Just because other people have problems, doesn't mean yours are irrelevant. You are 100% allowed to feel however you feel, even if it seems like there's no reason for it. Have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this? I know you just said you haven't told anyone how you actually feel for years, but I think it could help." He smiled nervously when you raised your head to look at him.

"I have actually. I joked about it a lot with my roommate right out of college. I always used to say 'everybody needs therapy' as a joke. Of course, I meant it. Most people probably do need therapy." You laughed, moving your arms around Bucky's neck to hug him. "Thank you for listening to me. I like talking to you."

Of course, Bucky noticed your smile didn't reach your eyes. He was confident in his words when he spoke again. "You can always talk to me. I'll always be there to listen." He followed that with a less confident "What's been bothering you today?"

"Oh, nothing that serious. It's just all pent up inside, ya know?" You smiled again, hiding your face so he couldn't see your lies.

Of course, he could still hear it in your voice. "Y/N, you can tell me. I want to be here for you."

"I... It's just, my insecurities are hurting me." You laughed at yourself. "Here we go with the fucking riddles, again. On the plus side, I think I've cried so much I'm back to one drink Y/N."

"Well, it has been 3 hours since I left to come find you." You were grateful for Bucky's joke, needing something to lift the mood a bit. "But, don't try and change the subject. I still want to know what's got you all sad." His words were light, but you knew how serious he was.

You took a deep breath, burying your head in his neck. "How could somebody ever love me?" You spoke into his shirt, not moving your head back even an inch.

"You know I can't understand you when you talk into my neck like that." Bucky tried joking, but even he knew it would do little to calm your fears.

You moved back, lips still grazing his skin when you repeated yourself, "how could somebody ever love me?"

Bucky wanted to scream. He wanted to tell you how much he loves you. He would gladly spend every day of his life loving you, but he didn't think this was the right time. Not when you just poured your heart out to him. So he settled for the almost truth.

"Anyone would be lucky to love you. You are selfless. You put everyone else first, no matter what. You always make sure everyone has a reason to smile, even when things aren't going right. You tell the best jokes. You're great at cuddling." He squeezes you closer to him, emphasizing the point. "You are beautiful, inside and out. Everyone who comes into contact with you automatically has a better day. You are incredibly strong and independent. I've never met anyone so incredibly good. Even Steve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

His words brought more tears to your eyes, pooling in the corners. "Then how come everyone that I’ve dated says they hate it cause they don’t know what to do with me? I feel broken."

"They were all idiots. You're not broken. Not even a little bit. You're learning how to express your feelings. You just need someone who would take it slow." He pressed a kiss to your forehead, struggling not to tell you everything.

"I wonder if you’d take it slow." Your eyes go wide when that slips out. You hadn't meant to make things uncomfortable. One look at Bucky's face has you freaking out. He looks stunned. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out! Oh god, you've been there for me all night and I go and fuck it up by admitting I'm in love with you."

Your eyes grow even larger. You would move out of his lap, but his arms are still holding you in place. "Shit! Maybe I'm still drunk because apparently I have no filter." You say the last part more to yourself, but he can still hear you.

"Y/N?" Your name comes out of his mouth in a soft whisper.

"Yes?" You cringe internally at messing everything up.

"I would take it slow." He smiles, leaning his forehead against yours while he waits for you to absorb his words.

"Yeah?" You whisper back, a smile ghosting your lips.

"Yeah." You both lean in, exchanging soft, slow kisses and sleepy smiles.

--

The two of you ended up falling asleep leaning against the back of the couch. The sun streaming through the windows, combined with the noise of the other avengers in the kitchen, wakes you up.

You nudge Bucky, grinning when he pulls you closer.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast." He groans again, but eventually stands up.

The two of you walk into the nearly full kitchen, surprising everyone by coming from the lounge rather than the elevators. They share amused expressions, unaware of the emotional hurdles you jumped last night.

You head right for Sam, hugging him tightly before moving on to hug everyone else.

"I just wanted to thank you all. For encouraging me to live a little last night, but also for being there for me." Tears spring to your eyes again, shocking everyone but Bucky. "You're all like a family to me and I'm so glad I have you all to lean on." You made your way back to Bucky, leaning into his side while he poured both of you some cereal.

You smile when you look at him, kissing his cheek before sliding into the stool next to his.

As if broken out of a day dream, Sam sputters out a question. "What the hell did seven drink Y/N do last night?" Thrown off both by your behaviour with Bucky and the short emotional speech.

"Oh, seven drink Y/N is an emotional little bitch. I think I cried eight years of suppressed tears." You laughed, grinning at Bucky when he squeezed your hand. "Also, I think I need a therapist." Your casual admission has Tony spitting out his breakfast.

"What the hell happened last night after you disappeared from the party?" He guffaws, trying to put the pieces together.

"Also, why aren't you even a little bit hungover?" Nat chimed in, upset at missing out on seeing you anything but cheery.

"Well, to answer Nat first, I don't get hungover. Never have, even the one time I blackout out." You shrugged at everyone's slightly jealous expressions. "To answer Tony, I had an emotional breakthrough. Bucky helped me talk through it, something I never thought I'd be able to do. Long story short, i'm going to learn how to share my feelings instead of suppressing them all."

"Suppressing them? What are you talking about? I've literally never felt anything but happiness from you before?" Wanda questioned the new development.

"Well, that's because I'm really good at hiding how I feel. I'd rather not go through it all again, so just watch the security footage from the lounge last night, yeah? I want you all to know, even if it took seven drink Y/N to share it." You quickly finished eating, pulling Bucky to the doorway.

"While you do that, we're going out. Bye!" Before they could question anything else, you ran to the elevator, dragging a very willing Bucky behind you.

"We're going out?" He questioned when the elevator doors shut.

"Yep. Get dressed, I want to see all your favorite places in New York. Even if they're different now. Take me to all your favorite spots." You both smiled, sharing another soft kiss before parting to change for the day.

"Hey," Bucky called, causing you to turn over your shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you too."

[avengersassemble-fics]

Stark’s Girl

part 012/015 “something new”

previous part // next part

masterlist

word count 3.2k

an: this was the dress inspiration and tux look referenced at one point in this part. btw this was finished awhile ago and i forgot to post it? :(

The world post-blip saw a lot of changes. And with you being out of the loop already, there were some important changes you wanted to make sure you didn’t forget.

Natasha became the backbone of the Avengers (though some including you would argue she always had been.) She was the one who stayed at the Compound and worked through the intel she received from the team who was not only spread out over the world, but in space. Yeah you were still getting used to that too.

Steve wasn’t in the game anymore. Not as much, really. He was still Captain America (he’d always be Captain America), but he took a more direct approach with helping people. The last you knew he was running a help group in the city for those who needed the support.

Tony did something that changed your life along with his. He started his own family. A few months after the snap, he was walking by your side through Central Park when he broke the news to you that Pepper and him were going through with the weeding in two weeks. You were shocked, but happy of course.

“We just don’t want to wait anymore,” Tony told you. “Can’t ask her to wait forever on me.”

It was beautiful. Like you pointed out before, Tony liked to be dramatic. But you couldn’t help but shed a tear at seeing your new sister-in-law come down the aisle. Their vows were very much themselves, shared jokes that only they understood (something about 12% Tony told her at the altar.) The only downside to their wedding was going stag, and also having to see Steve there.

Ever since you were hit with the memories of what happened the night of your parents crash, you had these moments of, for lack of a better phrase, pure unfiltered anger. Though those moments were far and few now that you were back to a “normal” life (as normal as this could be) you still found yourself zoning out on occasion. And that wasn’t safe. You couldn’t help but swirl the flute of champagne around as your mind drifted off to your last episode.

It was night time, on a full moon no less. The air had a slight chill to it, enough to where you could see the hot breath of air released from your victim. They ran, jumping over the foliage that covered the ground. They were frantic, which made this easier for you. You moved slowly as they tripped over a branch, sliding across the cold ground as you towered over them. The woman cried out, crawling over the leaves scattered over the ground. She didn’t turn to face you until you came to a stop at her feet. You didn’t even recognize the tears in her eyes.

“Пожалуйста,” (Please) she begged you. Your dead set eyes didn’t budge as she pushed herself up to a seated position. “Почему вы это делаете?” (Why are you doing this?)

You clenched your fist by your side, the anger coming up to a boil. “Ты меня не помнишь?” (You don’t remember me?) She shook her head and your eye twitched. You crouched down to look her in the eye and tilted your head. “Ты сказал мне, что поможешь мне почувствовать себя лучше ... И что моя семья идет за мной.” (You told me you’d help me feel better.. And that my family was coming for me.)

Something registered over her face. Fear. Recognition. It all laced together in a paled look on her face.

You stood again as she began to cry. You heard her pleas as you moved behind her, pulling the rope from your hip. Your gloved hands wrapped both ends over your knuckle so it was tight, and in a snap pulled it over her neck. She gasped and writhed under the pressure, but you never once flinched. You never felt her body stop, or her breaths for that matter, and didn’t snap out of it until you were in the shower. You were just standing under the water, which was laced with red, mumbling to yourself.

“I hope you remember them.”

A hand came down on your shoulder. You did your best to hide your jump, but Tony noticed. He didn’t say anything, but he did see it. He gave you a squeeze and you reached your free hand up to place over it. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” you told him. You could see Pepper through the dancing crowd, and you smiled a bit. “You should be dancing with your wife.”

“And you should be enjoying yourself,” Tony replied.

“I will when you do,” you poked at him. He gave your hand a kiss before disappearing past the bodies. You rubbed at your neck and set your drink down at the table before playing with the fabric of your dress. The one slit up your leg was a good choice on Natasha’s part. But it all felt too stuffy. Beautiful lilac color, but just a little too tight around your--

“Didn’t come with anyone?” an all too familiar voice asked you. You flattened the fabric back down and let out a little sigh.

“I don’t really.. Know anyone who wasn’t already coming,” you said. Steve stood before you in a dark suit and lacked the black striped tie he was wearing earlier. He nodded but you shrugged. “I just met Wong though. He’s nice.”

“Yeah he is,” Steve replied. You noticed the song change, something a little slower paced. The lights dimmed down a bit and you shifted a bit in your seat. “Would you like to dance?”

You thought it over for a moment. It seemed like the dance floor was packed, barely anyone was left amongst the tables, and you rubbed your arm. “I don’t really know how to..”

There was a hint of a smile, enough to make your stomach twist, and he offered his hand to you. “Lucky for you I’m a professional.”

You bit back a smile, and slowly placed your hand in his. Steve helped you stand and he led you out to the floor. There was enough space for the two of you, and he turned back to face you. The hand that engulfed yours tightened a bit, his fingers gently grazed over the back of your hand. Your other hand floated over his arm and rested on his shoulder, and you felt his other hand on your waist.

Steve led, taking a step to the side and you followed. You were closer than you would have preferred, but with a glance around the room the lack of space seemed standard. You felt like you were gliding across the floor and you looked back at your partner. “I had no idea you had such a talent.”

“Ah well I had promised Nat I would be prepared the next time I asked someone to dance,” he explained. Steve suddenly removed his hand from your waist and twirled you around. When you met his gaze again you had a raised brow, and when he pulled you back into him you laughed a bit.

“Kudos to her then,” you said barely above a whisper. You felt his fingers seem to rub against your side, and then he spoke softly.

“I would do anything for my best gal.”

There were some more changes that quickly followed within that year.

Tony really started a family. Pepper gave birth to the cutest little girl, and they ended up naming her Morgan. Who had known such a small thing could make you feel so much? You fell in love with her as soon as Tony placed her in your arms. He was teary eyed as he reached out and stroked his finger over her chubby cheek.

You knew he would do anything for this girl. And you were right behind him on that.

It was actually at her first birthday party (though this was more a party for the adults then her) was the next time you saw Steve and Natasha. Her hair was grown out, the fiery red tint mixing in with the previous white dye job. You could see the bags under her eyes and the tension in her shoulders, but after a few drinks she was much more relaxed. Pepper had put Morgan down for a nap, which left Tony, Nat, and you all mingling in a circle while Steve kept his distance.

You were grateful not to have eyes on the back of your head, but you could feel Steve’s burning into you. Tony seemingly got distracted by Pepper, excusing himself from the small and intimate group to aid his wife. Natasha glanced at you from the corner of her eye, taking a sip of the beer in her hand. “So what are you doing nowadays?”

“Besides the occasional diaper change?.. Not much. It’s quiet out here.”

It was true. Tony and Pepper relocated to a cabin outside of the city and the hustle and bustle. You loved Tony, loved being around them both, but you couldn’t help but feel out of place. Or like a bother even. This was Tony’s time to connect to his new family, and you couldn’t help but feel you were intruding. While your thoughts wandered off, Natasha nodded a bit, resting her closest arm to you on the back of the couch, shifting a bit to face you better. “If you wanted.. I could always use your help back at the Compound.”

You glanced back the way Tony had disappeared back into their home. You knew by the way you described it that it was his, not yours, and slowly you nodded. Before you spoke you could see Steve almost smile a bit to himself before turning his back to you. “I.. I think that would be good.”

It’s been four years since the Snap. That was really all the biggest changes you had experienced or felt you needed to catch people up on. Breaking the news to Tony that you were moving back to New York and going back to work with Natasha was a bitter pill for him to swallow, but you reassured him you’d be fine. You needed something to focus your mind on, and he understood for the most part. There was a moment though that made you nearly back out, and Tony had definitely caught it that time.

Something had played on tv that night as you helped Tony wash the dinner dishes. Morgan should’ve been in bed by then, Pepper probably waiting for Tony to join her, but Tony truly hadn’t adjusted to using normal appliances. He set off the faucet spray three times, which was two less than last week, so you took over washing duties while he dried. You had only caught a notion of what was being said on the television, but the news anchor speaking made you stop. Tony was chatting next to you, but you turned around to look at the television, only to see the flash of the story playing.

There was a body found in the woods in Russia of a woman in her mid fifties, who was strangled to death with what was identified as rope found nearby. The area was clean of any evidence, especially given how long the body was out there before hunting season started and a couple happened upon it, but it could be linked to three other murders reported on in the last 6 years. You don’t know what happened, but Tony placing his hand on your shoulder was what set you off.

The emptiness that would swallow your mind fell upon you like a curtain closing on a play. Tony would later tell you that the light in your eyes disappeared, and it was as if you didn’t know him. He said that you had very successfully removed his hand from you and shoved him back in the cabinets, rattling the dishes inside. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt him, but it was enough to stun him for a few moments and give you time to desperately escape.

Tony said it took him a few moments to regain his composure, but the worry he felt propelled him out the cabin and out of earshot of Pepper’s calls for him. He wasn’t far behind you, and his calls of your name resulted in nothing but quick looks back at him, but one thing was clear to him: you weren’t okay. The next thing you remembered was something hitting your shoulder in a small jolt, which later Tony confirmed was a shock from his watch (still in testing), and him hovering over you in the darkness.

It was enough to make him concerned about you going through with your decision to rejoin Natasha. But for you it was enough to solidify your decision.

“Tony I don’t want to.. Do that around Morgan,” you whispered to him, careful with your words. “Besides you need this time with them. And I’m sure Pepper needs you more right now.”

“I can’t knowingly let you leave without even knowing what the hell is going on with you,” Tony whispered yelled at you. “You’ve avoided this conversation for two weeks, can’t you tell me what’s going on?”

You narrowed your glare at him but he only matched you. After a few seconds you grumbled in surrender and rested the last piece of clothing you were folding and walked towards the back door. Tony carefully placed Morgan into the low crib before following you outside. You faced the lake, the breeze pushing past you and into the house  in a cool breeze, and Tony came up by your side and rested his hip against the railing.

“Talk to me,” he urged you. You sighed and finally faced him, resting your hip as well on the railing.

“After learning the truth I’ve been having these.. Episodes,” you told him. “It’s like a blanket falls over me and I can’t find my way out of it until something else pulls it off. And by that time I’m not where I remember I was. Time has passed, something has happened.”

“How many times has this happened?”

“Last time made five,” you admitted guiltily. “I don’t know what causes it, or how to stop it.. But being busy, keeping my mind on track, seems to help the most.”

Tony thought your words over, before nodding to himself and looking out to the lake. You followed his lead and looked back out to the setting sun, the breeze and chirps of birds lulling the silence, before Tony spoke again.

“If you go you have to check in with me,” Tony compromised. “I’m going to make sure FRIDAY sends me updates on your brain waves, try and figure out what triggers it if it happens again.”

You smiled to yourself and linked your arm through his and came to rest your head against his shoulder. “You’re truly the best brother I could’ve asked for.”

Tony let out a pfft noise, before lifting his arm to wrap around your shoulder. He placed a chaste kiss to your forehead as you both stared out at the lake. “We’ll get through this together.”

Tony wouldn’t admit this to anyone, especially you, but after you departed for the city he made a house call a few days later. Tony stood before the apartment door unsure if this was the best idea, and ready to flee if no one came in 10 more seconds. But when he heard the footsteps on the other side he let out a sigh and mumbled to himself. “This is for her sake Tony.”

The door opened to reveal his former friend. Steve Rogers looked nearly the same as the last time he saw him at Morgan’s party (which he was only invited to because of Pepper and Natasha.) Full beard, tired eyes, and a surprised expression. “Tony?”

Tony motioned between the two of them with the glasses he pulled off while waiting. “We need to talk.”

Steve took a moment to think it over before nodding and stepping aside for Tony to enter. Tony carefully took a step in, taking in the environment and really noticing how.. Empty it all felt. Steve closed and latched the door behind his guest, which made Tony look back at him. “Should maybe leave that unlock in case anything happens.”

“I don’t think that would be necessary,” Steve replied. But either way he unlocked the latch before looking back at Tony. “But if it makes you more comfortable.”

“It was more for you then for me,” Tony replied back. Steve smiled a bit and nodded, and Tony tapped his hand with his glasses. “Gotta say the place hasn’t come along that much since you showed Pepper the photos.”

“You saw those?” Steve asked and Tony shrugged. Steve looked around and sighed a bit. “Was never planning on settling down here, but things change.”

Tony wondered if the sentiment was in regards to his sister. More than likely it was but he chose to ignore it. He didn’t even want to think about the unsettling feeling he had when he thought about how Steve handled things all those years ago. “I wanted to come and talk to you about something.. Personal.”

Steve raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes and no,” Tony sighed. He sat himself down on the couch in Steve’s plainly decorated living room, and unbuttoned his jacket in the process. “Not sure if you are aware given you aren’t in the game anymore, but Natasha invited my sister back to the Compound.. And she said yes.”

“Natasha may have mentioned it,” Steve carefully said.

“Figured as much, “ Tony replied. “Which is great, fine with me. I know she’s been feeling stuck recently.. But something happened a couple weeks ago.”

Steve’s posture changed and it unsettled Tony. But he had to punish that aside for now. This wasn’t about him and his feelings. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know,” Tony answered in almost a whisper. Steve’s face visibly fell in a frown and concern. “She’s apparently been experiencing black outs. Aggression. I don’t know how to help her from so far away.. So I came to ask a favor.”

Steve nodded and took a step closer. “Whatever you need Tony.”

“Check in on her will you? But not in a prying way so she thinks I set you up to it.. Be a friend, “ Tony asked. Steve nodded and Tony stood, smoothing his clothes again. “Just please.. Let me know if something happens.”

“I promise,” Steve told him. He led Tony back to the door, opening it for him to exit. But Tony stopped after making it out to the hallway and turned back around pointing a finger at Steve’s chest.

“So help me Rogers.. Don’t go and mess with her feelings again or I will come here and finish what we started in Siberia.”

Steve didn’t even get a chance to respond before Tony slid his glasses back on and disappeared back towards the stairs. Instead Steve shut his door and stood there for a moment to think to himself. He was going to make sure he made it up not only to Tony, but to you. 

This would be the start of something new.

- - - - - - - - - -

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[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Back at it again with my self-indulgent comic posts. This time! It’s Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #3, perhaps the most tonally-distinct entry yet, with shades of The Twilight Zone. 

Spoilers!

So, as mentioned, this issue is the most deliberate in terms of both its pacing and its tone, IMO.

What is that tone, you ask?

To quote Alex Danvers, from “Midvale”: Hello, darkness.

THE STORY:

Kara and Ruthye are still looking for Krem Clues in the alien town of Maypole.

(Which is actually just Small Town, USA, complete with vintage 50s aesthetics.)

But the locals are clearly hiding something! So Kara and Ruthye continue to investigate, and they eventually discover what it was that the residents of Maypole were so keen to keep hidden. 

Genocide, basically. 

As I said, this issue struck me as very Twilight Zone; a genre story involving the build-up to a dark twist, all set against the backdrop of an idyllic small town. (Think, like, “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street” but instead of focusing on the Red Scare, it’s classism and racism.)

The wealthier blue aliens kicked all of the purple aliens out of town, and when space pirates showed up to pillage and plunder, the blue aliens made a deal with them: the lives of the purple aliens in exchange for their safety.  

Which is where the episodic story connects to the larger mission; it was Krem who suggested the trade, and then joined up with the Brigands (space pirates) when he was freed by the blue aliens.

The issue ends with no tidy resolution to the terrible things Kara and Ruthye discovered, but they do have a lead on where to find Krem, now, as well as Barbond’s Brigands.

KARA-CTERIZATION:

Ironically, it’s here, in the darkest chapter yet, that we get the closest to what might be considered ‘classic’ Kara. 

Which I think comes down to that aforementioned deliberate pace--this issue is a little slower, a little quieter. It gives the characters some room to breathe.

That’s not to say Crusty Kara is gone. Oh no. She is still very much Crusty. XD 

But anyways. A list! Of Kara moments I loved!

I mentioned a few of these in a prior post when the preview pages came out: I like the moment where Kara blows down the guy’s house of cards, and I like that the action is echoed later in the issue when she grabs the mayor’s desk and tosses it aside. A nice visual representation of the escalation of Kara being, like. Done with these creeps. (Creeps is an understatement but you get the idea.)

Another one from the preview pages: Kara explains to Ruthye that her super hearing won’t necessarily help her detect a lie, especially if she’s dealing with an alien species she’s not familiar with.

It not only reveals her level of competence and understanding of her super powers, it also shows that, you know. She’s a thinker. She’s smart. 

Amazing! Showing, rather than telling us, that Kara is smart! Without mentioning the science guild at all wow hey wow.

(Sorry, pointed criticism of the SG show fandom.)

Anyways.

I dig the PJs! 

And Kara catching the bullet! Not only are the poses and character acting great, it’s also a neat bit of panel composition:

We start with Ruthye’s POV, and then move to the wide shot of the room. The panel where Kara actually catches the bullet is down and to the side of the wide shot panel--we move our eyes the way her body/arm would have to move to intercept the bullet. Physicality in static, 2D images!

Also, like. It’s a very tense moment, life-or-death, but. Ruthye’s wide-eyed surprise at the bullet in Kara’s hand? Kind of adorable. 

I was pretty much prepared for the page of Kara shielding Ruthye from the gunfire to be the highlight--it was one of the first pages King shared and I was like, ‘yeah, YEAH.’ But, shockingly? The TRUE highlight of the issue?

Where do I BEGIN?!?!

EVERYTHING. About this moment. Is lovely.

From Kara holding Ruthye above the bench to explaining the concept of a piggyback ride, to telling her:

“I’m going to hold my hands here, and these hands can turn coal into diamonds, so they’re not going to let go. I’m going to keep you safe.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG.

Ruthye’s narration--about how Kara had avoided flying as she was concerned it would freak Ruthye out--just adds a whole additional layer of YES, GOOD, YES, and her line on that splash page is great: “You see, all that time, she was worried about me.”

HNNNNNNNNNNNG. AGAIN.

To say nothing of the STELLAR ARTWORK.

And SPEAKING of that stellar artwork, Evely and Lopes continue to knock it out of the park. Each issue is distinct and beautifully crafted, a true joy to look at.

Before I jump into more of the art, a few final notes of character stuff in general.

Ruthye is the one most affected by the experience in Maypole, as she can’t comprehend how a society of people that look so nice and gentle and peaceful could have been party to such a horrible act.

One of the big criticisms of the book thus far is that Supergirl is not the main character, and I guess I can agree with that observation. Typically, in Western media, the main character is the one who goes through the most change in the story. 

And, yeah. That’s Ruthye.

As I was reading the end, where Ruthye sits on the curb and Kara hugs her, I was imagining how the scene would’ve played, had King stuck with the original idea for the series: Kara as the one learning to be tough/experiencing all of this for the first time, and while I think that could certainly work...

I continue to appreciate that King literally flipped the script; that Kara, especially in this issue, is like, ‘I’ve seen this, I know this,’ as opposed to being the one going through a loss of innocence.

*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat!

Because Kara’s been a teen in DC comics for so long--ever since she was reintroduced to the main DCU continuity, actually--so this is all brand new territory, here. Having an older Kara who’s SEEN SOME STUFF.

(Alsoooooo, since Bendis made the destruction of Krypton not just inaction and climate disaster, but rather, genocide, and the subtext of a Kryptonian diaspora text, the waitress’ derogatory comment regarding the the destruction of Kryton, as well as Kara picking up the bad vibes the entire time, suggests not just a broad commentary on discrimination in all its forms, but specifically allegorical anti-Semitism. The purple aliens being forced out of their homes and into substandard living conditions, then the blue aliens--their neighbors and once-fellow residents--essentially allowing the space pirates to kill them, making them literal scapegoats, Kara discovering the remains of the purple aliens, and Ruthye’s horror at the ‘banality of evil’...yes. A case could be made, I think.) 

(Which would probably require a post unto itself and a lot more in-depth discussion, nuance, and cited sources.)

(Should mention that King has brought up that both he and Orlando--the other Supergirl writer he talked to--are Jewish, and for him personally, that shaped his views on Kara’s origin story.)

I guess my point is that this issue is perhaps not as out-of-left-field as some might think, and just because there isn’t as obvious an arc for Kara, doesn’t mean there isn’t some sharp character work at play. 

(I could be WAY OFF, of course, and I’m not suggesting it’s a clear 1:1 comparison. I’d actually really love to hear King talk about this issue in particular.)

Anyways.

Here’s the final page, which I think works, because as I mentioned before, there is no easy answer/quick wrap-up to the story of Maypole:

THE ART:

I mean. How many times can I just shout ‘ART! AAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTT!’ before it gets old?

I dunno, but I guess we’re gonna FIND OUT.

There are some panels in this issue that I just. Like ‘em! From a purely artistic standpoint! Because they’re so good!

Like, I just really love the way Kara is drawn in that top panel. Her troubled, confused expression, the colors of the fading light, the HAIR. 

Evely draws the best hair. I know I’ve said this before. I don’t care. I will continue to say it, because it continues to be true.

The issue I find myself running up against when I make these posts is that I really don’t want to post whole pages, as that’s generally frowned upon (re: pirating etc.) but with something like this, you just can’t appreciate it in panel-by-panel snippets.

(Guided View on digital reading platforms is a BANE and a POX I say!)

Anyways.

LOVE the implied movement of the cape settling as Kara speeds in and stops. 

And, obviously, Kara flicking the bullet away is just. A+. 

And the EYES, man. LOPES’ COLORS ON THE EYES???!?! BEAUTIFUL.

Also, should note the lettering! The more rounded letters for the ‘WOOSH’ of Kara’s speed (and, earlier, the super breath) work nicely, and contrast with the angular, violent BLAMS of the gunshots. 

And, I gotta say, the editor is doing a really great job of not cluttering up the artwork with all the caption boxes. Which is no small task.

(I assume the editor is placing them, as editors usually handle word balloon/caption box placement, but I suppose it could be Evely? Sometimes the artist handles it. Either way, whoever’s taking care of all the text, EXCELLENT WORK! BRAVO!)

Okay I think that’s everything.

Ah, nope, wait.

MISC.

Just a funny observation, more than anything else: Superman: Red and Blue dropped this week, and King had a story in there, “The Special” (which was very good, btw.) Both Lois and the waitress swear a lot so I’m beginning to think that this is just how King writes dialogue for any adult character who isn’t Clark. XD

This is absolutely a personal preference but when Kara was like, “And my name IS Supergirl,” I was like nooooo. I know King is trying to simplify all of the conflicting origin stories and lore but I LIKE KARA DANVERS, SIR. XD

It’s almost assuredly a cash-grab/an attempt for DC to get all the money it can out of a book they don’t have much confidence in, but I like the cardstock covers! Very classy, much Strange Adventures.

(OH my gosh, can you imagine that issue 1 cover with spot gloss???? Basically the only way you could possibly improve on it.) 

Okay NOW I’m done. For real. XD NEXT TIME: Kara and Ruthye go after Krem and the Brigands!

[peach-the-owl]

Hi! I saw your piece called An Uncomfortable Encounter with Molly. Spoilers if you haven't seen the most recent episodes ahead as part of my request! I was wondering if you could do one where when "Molly" (Lucien) comes back and still has that connection with the child and takes them with him.

I've been thinking about this for a while myself actually…… sooo this is essentially the start of me rewriting some of the Eiselcross arc………… help me I’m nervous here we go

I’m so sorry if turns out bad 😭

Meeting Again, For the First Time

Child of the Nein (Molly/Lucien & Child!Reader)

Ever since the parties fight with Vokodo and the strange visions it unleashed upon its death Molly had been acting differently. Nobody else noticed because he was always good at hiding the things that bothered him but you knew better then that, you’ve known him longer then anyone else after all. Come the following day and it felt like he was avoiding you, something was defiantly wrong and you were going to get to the bottom of it, of course that meant you would have to track him down first. While everyone else was setting up and waiting for the arrivals of Traveler Con you went off to see where Molly had disappeared to, you searched the village and started to worry when you couldn’t see him anywhere. That is until you spotted that all too familiar coat amongst one of the small groups Vilya was about to send back to the mainland, you wondered what he was doing but quickly realize you don’t have a lot of time to react as the people made their way through the portal in the tree. You dash towards the group and just throw yourself through the portal, making it through right as it closed, there was defiantly no turning back now. It didn’t take long for you to regain your focus after that little tumble and follow after your colourful friend. You could immediately tell something was off, you weren’t too sure what it was yet but something was off. He didn’t walk with his usual confident but relaxed pace it was more an invigorated walk of cofidence and purpose, making you struggle to keep up a bit until he pauses in his steps.

"I know yer followin' me." When he spoke his accent sounded much thicker then normal, making you remember the first time you’d heard him speak like that, something was different about him then too.

"I- are you ok Molly?" For once you felt a little at a lose for words, trying to figure out what was happening. He turns to face you, raising an eyebrow in a half-confused, half-amused way. Why was Molly acting like he was someone else? Why did he even start acting this way? Did Vokodo do something to him? Wait a minute! Slowly little scattered pieces of the puzzle started to connect in your head, it felt a little far fetched at first but crazier things have happened. "You-you’re not Molly, are you."

"Afraid not little one." Your heart dropped, but you did what you could to bite back the tears.

"Then you don’t remember who I am?" You mentally kick yourself for asking such a dumb question, of course he wouldn’t remem-

"I never said that." You look at him confused, tilting your head to the side in a silent question. "While I can’t say I know everything about you, I get a strong sense of familiarity around ye, blurred images in me head at best." It all seemed a little strange but at least he wasn’t anything hostile to you.

"Well, may I know your name then?" You ask, folding your hands behind your back and rock on the balls of your feet.

"I’m Lucien, the Nongon, and what shall I be calling you?"

"I’m (y/n), musician and storyteller… kinda." You give him a showmanship bow, if there was one thing you were a pro at it was being good at adapting to new and crazy situations. He gives you a light chuckle then turns and starts walking again, this time at a slower pace for you to keep up.

"I assume ye'll have questions for me." You give a nod.

"It’s that obvious, huh."

"I have few meself for ya, but questions ‘ill have to wait for later."

"Why?"

"That’s a question." You cross your arms and give him a stubborn look.

"I feel I should get an answer for that one at least." He looks down at you amused.

"Quick learner and a bit gutsy, I admire that kid." He pauses a second. "Alright, if ye must know I have some unfinished business that needs taking care of, course I’ll have to make a few preparations before settin' off."

"So you’re leaving me again." You mumble more to yourself, stopping in your tracks. You didn’t want to be left alone, but this technically wasn’t Molly either, still the two shared the same body and it must’ve meant something that Lucien had a faint idea of who you are.

"Well, actually," you’re pulled away from your worried thoughts. "I was wonderin' if ye'd like to join me." You stare for a good long moment, letting his words sink in.

"I-wha-ummm." You tumble over your words a bit, trying to grasp at what was happening.

"You don’t have to, but it’ll be awhile 'fore mine group can meet up and I wouldn’t mind yer extra company." He kneels down and holds out his hand to you. "So what'd ya say?" This was happening a lot faster then you could comprehend right now, too many changes going on at once. You didn’t even know much about Lucien's group, you just remembered that Cree was apart of it and that they called themselves the Tombtakers. You hesitate, sure you didn’t want to be left in the dust by yourself but wouldn’t this be like betraying the Mighty Nein? This was a choice you'd be making willingly after all, but then again what was life without making a few crazy and foolish choices. With a deep breath you look into his expectant, crimson eyes and reach your hand out to his.

"Okay, I’ve already come this far, might as well go all the way." You place your hand into his. You see the smile on his face widen.

"Welcome aboard the Tombtakers kid."

Oh boy, what were you getting yourself into.

[therealromewrites]

Wake up Parker! Chapter One: Procrastination

Relationship: Peter Parker x Tall Older Reader (Peter is 22 and Reader is 26/27)

Warnings: None

Word Count Total: 2069 (This Chapter)

Tagged: @bggerbtch​

Summary: Peter Parker is a student in the city of Brooklyn. He’s lazy, spoilt and he procrastinates a lot. He meets a woman named (Y/N), She’s recently moved to Brooklyn for an independent life. Something Peter is fascinated by. Over the course of a few months, Peter needs to realise that he has to grow up and become responsible for his life.

WAKE UP PARKER! MASTERLIST

“Prepare profit and loss statements after taking into account the following adjustments.”

Peter blinked his eyes and re-read the question in his economics text book. Taking a sip of coffee from his spider-man mug.

“Prepare profit and loss statements after taking into account the following adjustments. Number one: Returns outwards seven thousand dollars were wrongly included in sales.”

Peter now understood the question, as he took his pen and started writing some semblance of an answer. However, his mind started to wander and he drew an arch, connected to another arch and soon he had managed to create a decent looking Homer Simpson on page. Peter smiled and marked it with an ‘A+’ before leaning back and staring into the ceiling. Peter wanted to go to sleep when an annoying ring sounded from his phone.

He picked it up to see an alarm for twelve a.m. reminding Peter to study. Peter sat up properly at his desk and set his phone aside. He went back to read the question.

“Returns outwards seven thousand dollars were wrongly included in sales. In sales. Included in sales.”

Peter’s mind drifted and he wondered if there was a new episode Rick and Morty. He brought his laptop in front of him and searched for Netflix. Clicking onto the link and searching for the show in his recently watched. Peter could hold off studying for a little while and catch up on the show. There was no new episode but he really wanted to watch an old re-run.

He found the episode ‘Total Rickall’ and switched it on. He smiled and enjoyed the episode. Peter started to feel hungry and pushed himself away from his desk. Creeping out his bedroom door and down the stairs to the kitchen. He toasted two slices and added the left over roast chicken with garlic mayo as a filling for his sandwich. He placed it on a tray along with a packet of M&Ms, chips and Reese’s peanut butter cups.

Heading back up to his room, munching on his snacks he turned the TV on to play a bit of the Spider-Man game. After an hour, he got bored and switched off the TV to turn to his Star Wars comic. Flicking through the pages before his phone rang an annoying tune. He got up from the bed and headed to his computer table to see the time was three a.m. Peter sighed and sat down to finish his first question. He felt his eyes droop and he dropped his head onto his arms.

Hours later, Peter could hear repetitive knocks on his bedroom door. A muffled voice kept calling out to him, to wake him up.

“Peter! Wake up!”

Peter groggily sat up, the back of his hair sitting up and the front pressed against his forehead. He felt a numbing pain in his neck and he ruffled his hair. Getting up and limping to his bedroom door. On the other side was his little sister, Morgan. A sprightly ten year old in a black and white striped shirt underneath a light blue denim dungaree dress. She had a tray of breakfast: omelette with buttered toast and a glass of orange juice.

“Morgan, why are you annoying me?”

“It’s seven thirty. Mum said to give you some breakfast before you go for your exam.”

Peter’s eyes widened as he rushed back into the room to start packing his backpack. Notepad, pens, text books.

“Morgan, why didn’t you wake me up sooner?”

A pout settled on Morgan’s face as she stepped into the room and placed the breakfast tray at Peter’s desk table. Turning to face Peter, hands on her hips like a disappointed parent. Well, adopted sibling.

“You said you were going to study all night. I thought you’d be up by now.”

Peter rolled his eyes and managed to pack his bag, leaving it by his bedroom door. He stomped to his cupboard and shrugged off his t-shirt, opting for a blue t-shirt with Captain Caveman on the front. He glanced behind him and spotted dark black jeans by the foot of his bed. Rushing to jump into those, all the while Morgan has been pointing out his mistake.

“I can’t believe you fell asleep. You had four cups of coffee and you still fell asleep. What will you do now? How will you do your exam now, Peter?”

“Have any encouraging words for me Mog? Instead of complaints.”

“Yeah, just try not to fail.”

Peter rolled his eyes and slipped on dark grey socks and black converses. Morgan was trying to be the smart one as usual but Peter won’t stoop to her level. He gets up and snags a toast from his breakfast tray, holding it in his mouth and muffling out.

“You sit here and eat this breakfast. I’m off.”

With that, Peter ran out the room with Morgan wishing him well for his exam. It’ll be fine. Peter was smart, it should be totally easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was not easy. Peter was beginning to regret leaving studying for the last minute as he constantly flicked his pen between his fingers. The minute hands on the clock going much slower than usual and everyone around him was bent at their desk, jotting down answers to questions he should have known the answer to. Peter glanced down at the exam question, he was stuck on.

‘With reference to the table above, evaluate the potential benefits of increasing expenditure for a new company starting out.’

The question made no sense at all as he read it twice and thrice. Peter sighed, telling himself he should have studied for this exam. The last exam as well. He flicked through his exam papers, noting that he had managed to answer ten questions out of thirty. In regards to the grade system it might be enough to warrant a pass grade. He flicked through, counting the marks for each question before realising that might not be the case.

“You’re never going to do anything, Peter Parker. You’ll definitely fail this exam.” Peter glanced up to see Wanda have the angriest glare towards him. “Because that’s what happens when you don’t attend a single lecture the whole year. It’s what you deserve!”

Was he hallucinating? It definitely seemed like that because he hears Flash’s voice speak up.

“But what do you have to worry about, Parker? Who cares if you fail? Your dad’s Tony Stark. You’ll still be loaded and you’ll still have the best car in this college, right?”

He sees his best friend Michelle turn around and scold Flash for discouraging Peter from succeeding.

“Relax, Pete. Don’t listen to these losers. Don’t worry. I’m your friend and I know that you’re going to pass, like you always do.” Peter smiled and was about to get down and do this exam the best that he can. Michelle always knew what to say. Well, most of the time.

“By the way, where were you last night? I kept calling, why didn’t you answer? Did you read the notes I gave you?”

Peter gave a great sigh at Michelle’s motherly concern but luckily his best friend, Ned came to his rescue.

“Shush Michelle. Can’t you at least let him dream in peace? Pete, I’m in the same situation as you. I couldn’t study last night either. I was with Betty. She was studying economics and I was studying her. All night long.” Ned stared wistfully at Betty before turning back to Peter. “Anyways don’t worry Pete. If we fail, we’ll fail together. We’ve been together since kindergarten. What’s one more year, right? Don’t worry, pal.”

Peter smiled and was about to start writing, when he heard the Professor order everyone to stop. Peter missed his opportunity but at least he could try to pass this exam, as he turned to Ned who had finished scribbling his answer. Ned sent a secretive thumbs up to Peter, before getting up and handing his paper to the Professor.

Two hours after the exam, Peter was hanging out with his friends in the courtyard by the exam hall. He had his camera with him and took various pictures of a squirrel; people talking about the exam. His friends were talking about the exam as well and Peter couldn’t be bothered to think about it. It’s done and out of his head. He noticed Wanda going around to people with an excited gleam on her face. Handing multi-coloured papers to people before she approached Peter’s table. Her smile dropped and you could sense distaste in her voice.

“Tomorrow night. Farewell party. Please turn up for that.” She smiled at everyone else, further encouraging. “There’s food and a DJ. Definitely come.”

She tossed the paper at Peter and strutted away to get more people to come to her party. Peter always felt sour after Wanda’s hatred towards him as he complained to his friends.

“What the hell is Wanda’s problem? I don’t want to go to her farewell party. I bet it’ll be boring anyways.”

Michelle rolled her eyes and knocked Peter’s shoulder.

“Shut up, Peter! We have to go. We might never see these people again. This is it.”

Ned agreed.

“College is over. Where did the last four years go? Life is going to change now. I have to look for a job now.”

“You’re right, there’s a lot to do. I’m gonna go for that internship with Quentin Beck.“

Peter felt proud, they had finally gotten through college and now they were free agents. He noticed Ned fiddle with something in his bag.

"Ned? What’ve you got there?”

Ned jumped as he tried to pack the small box into his bag.

“Nothing!”

“Ned!”

Peter went around and started wrestling Ned for the thing. Michelle simply cupped her face in shame at her two friends fighting like children. Peter managed to overcome Ned as he held the box in the air and sat on the table, between Michelle and Ned.

It was a small blue velvet box and it had a silver ring in it. It had a small pearl as a gem and was wrapped around red silk. Peter’s eyes widened and constantly darted his glance between the ring and Ned. Michelle, having already known the ring, rolled her eyes and took the ring off Peter.

“Ned, What is this?”

“It’s a ring, Peter. Ned bought it for Betty. I think her name’s engraved in there too.”

Ned took the ring back and tucked the small box into his rucksack.

“It’s just the initials that are engraved in it.”

“Ned, you gotta be kidding me.”

“Peter, I love her!”

“Dude, you’re pathetic. Don’t be an idiot. Ned, are you actually going to propose to Betty?”

“We’ve been going out for two years. I think that’s enough time.”

Peter felt Ned was rushing into things with Betty. They knew each other for longer and only recently started dating. That was not enough time but Ned’s a love sick puppy.

“Why are you being so serious, Ned?”

Michelle, who was intently listening to their conversation, knew the answer to Peter’s question. “You know, everyone has to get serious after college. You’ll have to do it too.”

“Right, which is why I’ve made a really serious plan.”

“What?”

“Let’s go and get drunk!”

Michelle and Ned sighed. Peter was the ‘fun friend’. He knew how to get parties started, where to eat and drink. He was never one for serious talks and it didn’t feel like Peter was serious about the future.

“Peter! Be serious!”

“Yeah but I don’t want to be serious right now. We’ve finished our exams today. Who cares about tomorrow? As long as we can have some fun tonight? Come on.”

Peter hopped off the table and swung his bag over his back. Securing his camera, safely into his camera bag. Today was the day to just have fun, relax and enjoy themselves. They could worry about the future another time. Right now was the time to party and it seemed his friends were warming to the idea.

Peter pulled Michelle up and ran out the courtyard. Ned followed behind, pulling along Betty for a crazy filled day. Eating; drinking; shopping for clothes; and playing arcade games. Peter was having the time of his life with his friends. The future was less of a worry and a simple mild concern.

CHAPTER TWO: THE DEAL

[bobbyonboard]

49 with Brian please?

49. “Where did you get those bruises? Is he hurting you?”

Word Count: 2k because I apparently can’t write anything less than that. Nonny this is probably way more than you asked for, I’m so sorry

Warnings: quick description of domestic violence (one para description), swearing, drinking

Fingers trembling, you picked up the phone in the corner of your apartment and dialed the number that had been burned into your brain for years. The tone crackled through the earpiece, and you took deep breaths to calm yourself down, hoping it would steady your voice as well.

“Hello?,” a soft, gentle voice answered from the other end, and God, you could have cried just from the word alone.

“Bri?,” you smiled into the speaker, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. The physical act helped force the positivity into your voice, and you almost surprised yourself with how normal you sounded.

“Who else would it be, bub?”,” the older man chuckled, and you could already feel the adrenaline gently leaving your bloodstream, your moments a bit slower than before as you leaned back against the wall.

You held the phone closer, a soft laugh floating through the lines connecting the two of your phones. “Smartass,” you teased, eyes closing for a second. “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind coming over for a bit? Andrew’s out for the night, and I really don’t want to sit here by myself. There’s a new Doctor Who episode on!,” you tried to entice him, but you should have known it wouldn’t take much. Brian would do anything for you. 

You didn’t need to tell him that Andrew was out because he ran out of whiskey. Because he’d gotten mad when he ran out, and asked you why did he ever stay with such a stupid fucking bitch like yourself, that couldn’t remember to get whiskey when you went to the store. How he said all of this with his hand wrapped around your throat,

You were pulled from the memories of earlier by Brian’s voice, and you had to blink heavily to clear your thoughts. “Hm?,” you said distractedly, shifting your weight to your other foot.

“Earth to Y/N,” he said playfully, and you could hear him shuffling around. “I said sure. Let me just grab my wallet and keys…,” he trailed off, cursing under his breath as you heard papers moving around.

“Hoodie pocket,” you said softly, a small smile on your lips, and it only grew when you heard the jingling of keys.

“What would I do without you, hm? See you in ten, love,” he said into the phone, and you heard a click, signaling the end of the conversation.

Ten minutes. Should be enough time. You went to your closet, cursing when you tried on your favorite turtleneck, only to find that it still didn’t cover the bruises where the tops of his fingers had dug right into your jawline.

You ended up trying to cover them with makeup, knowing you were going to look like an idiot wearing a turtleneck that was way too nice to be lounging around the flat in. But you couldn’t let Brian see you like this.

Exactly ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and you panicked for only half a second before remembering Brian’s special little knock he always did.

“Hi!.“ you grinned as you opened the door, and God, he looked amazing. Even late on a Sunday night, he looked like some sort of model, standing there with his long legs, thin frame, his hoodie hanging loosely off of his body.

“Good evening. I was promised good company and Doctor Who?,” he teased, scooting in beside you through the door frame.

You just laughed at that, nodding. “You were. I’ve got the kettle on, I’ll make us some tea,” you smiled, shaking your head at how he started to make himself comfortable. This had been your flat for the last five years, all through your time at Uni, and it only recently had become yours and Andrew’s. So it only made sense that it was almost a second home for Brian, your best friend.

Soon you had two cups of steaming hot tea in your hands, walking over to the couch and passing one over to Brian before flopping down next to him. “Mmm, how’s your day been? Recuperating from last night?,” you teased, knowing they had a big show. You’d wanted to go, but Andrew had convinced you to go somewhere with his friends instead.

“Lots and lots of sleeping,” he laughed, nodding in thanks for the tea before taking a sip and sighing. “How was yours? Have fun with Mr. Life of the Party?,” he asked with a roll of his eyes, his dislike for you boyfriend evident.

“It was fine,” you lied, trying not to think about it in the slightest.

Brian just remained silent, glancing over to the TV. He was momentarily sucked into the TV show playing, and you took that opportunity to stretch out beside him, your hands over your head and yawning, revealing a bruise on your hip under your shirt.

“Y/N?”.

The word was panicked, and you knew instantly you’d fucked up. “What?,” you asked him, sitting up straight, and visibly wincing when he gingerly picked up the fabric bunched at your hip, lifting it just enough to see the bruise once more.

“What’s…,” he stopped, looking up at you and his frown was deepening. You could feel his eyes on your neck, and you reached up, pulling your hand back and the makeup just came back on your fingers. Cheap shit.

“Brian, I-,”

“Where did you get those bruises?,” he asked, his voiced trembling just slightly. Before you could answer, he swallowed thickly, as if to prepare himself for what he was about to ask next.

“Is he hurting you?,” the question was softer than the one before, the tone of his voice, the sheer look of heartbreak on his face was enough to send you into absolute hysterics.

His arms were wrapped around you in an instant, letting you just sob into his soft, gray hoodie. Soft words of comfort were whispered into your hair, his hands rubbing gentle circles on your back. By the time you’d managed to calm down, almost half an hour had passed, with Brian sitting completely still.

“I know what he’s doing is wrong, it’s just–,”

“No,” Brian said so firmly, it caught you off guard. “There’s no excuses for this, Y/N. None.”

You sniffled softly, nodding your head as tears sprang in your eyes once more, and Brian reached out to wipe them away with the pad of his thumb.

“I’ve only lived here, Brian. I don’t know where to go, I’m not sure I could find another place with rent as cheap as here,” you whispered, curling up so you were laying against his chest, closing your eyes. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought of leaving a thousand times, it was just going to be so hard. The moving, Andrew begging, Andrew demanding. It was just going to be exhausting.

“You can stay with me for now,” Brian said firmly, and you knew that he wasn’t going to let you out of this one. “But first, we need to get you out of here,” he murmured, looking around. Andrew had certainly taken over when he moved in, not a lot of your things to be found.

“How fast can you pack?,” he asked, sitting up, and you sat up with him, your eyes widening in surprise.

“Bri, Andrew’s got the car. I don’t have any boxes or anything, I–,” but Brian was already shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about that. Can you go ahead and start packing your clothes for me, love? I’ll take care of the rest,” he told you, a small smile on his lips, and he tentatively leaned forward to press a feather light kiss on your forehead. “Trust me, alright? I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again,” he murmured, smoothing your hair down before going over to your phone, making a few phone calls in hushed tones.

You don’t know what came over you, maybe the excitement of finally getting out of this dark pit of a relationship, but you went and started to pull all of your clothes out of the closet. You heard the front door open, and you froze for a moment before you recognized three other distinct voices and the sounds of boxes being set on the floor and filled. You had to cover your mouth to stifle the sob bubbling in your chest, thinking about the wonderful friends you had that were willing to help you even at eleven o’clock on a Sunday night.

When you emerged from the bedroom with all of your clothes packed in your suitcases, the four boys packing boxes didn’t stop and give you sympathy looks. There were no pity glances.

“Hi, Y/N!,” Roger grinned over at you, ‘accidentally’ dropping a picture of Andrew and his first place trophy from his rugby days on the ground, kicking it under the couch. “Heard we’re moving. Came to help.”

You couldn’t stop the broad smile that was spreading across your lips, and you just nodded.

“I’ll take these,” John smiled gently, taking the bags from your hands and you gave him a thankful smile in return. He went outside and you could see from the window that their van was parked right in front of the apartment building. Freddie was already loading up some boxes into the back, helping Deacy put your bags in the back.

“It’s okay,” Brian said gently from behind you, wrapping his arm around your middle, wary of the bruise he saw earlier. “We’re getting you out of here, We’ll find you a new place. Everything’s going to be okay,” he told you, and for the millionth time, you wondered how you ever got so lucky to have a friend as good as Brian May. And for the millionth time you wondered why you ever picked a guy like Andrew over someone as sweet and loving as the man who was currently packing up all of the silverware and dishes into a box.

“Oh, Rog, that’s Andrew’s, not mine,” you told the blonde, watching as he started to pack away a beautiful antique clock that your now ex-boyfriend’s grandmother had left for him.

“Is it?,” he said with a frown, squinting to get a better look at it. “Looks like yours now. Bet you could get a pretty penny for it,” he hummed, plopping it in the box and moving to take it outside.

You stifled a laugh, watching as everyone moved around you, grabbing everything of yours (and some of Andrew’s) and taking it out to the van.

“That it?,” Brian asked as you did one last run through, and you nodded, leaning against his chest as you stood in the doorway.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, sniffling. “All of you. How did you–,” and Brian just shook his head.

“No need to thank me, Y/N/. No need to thank any of us. You needed some help getting out of here, so here we are,” he murmured, hugging you close and kissing your forehead. “I know it’s not all fixed. But one step at a time. Right now, you’re coming home with me, where he can’t hurt you anymore,” he whispered, and as you nodded and took his hand, turning off the light and turning to walk down the steps, you felt truly safe for the first time in a long while.

*Send me prompts!*

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 17

Hello my lovelies! I hope you are all doing well. This chapter took me awhile to write, but at last, it is finished and I’m not sharing it with y’all. This chapter would not have happened without four important people in my life: @nomadicpixel @mycapt-ohcapt @heather-lynn (thanks for the title, yo!) and @alievans007. They constantly encourage me and sometimes give me a kick in the butt when I need it.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in March 2014, specifically the week of the Los Angeles premiere of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This episode can also be read on AO3.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological. It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future. However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 16.5

Episode 17: Unofficial Plus One

March 2014

Chris was unusually quiet and reserved during the first two days he was back from his seclusion. Ellie would have worried about it if he hadn't spoken to her candidly about similar situations in the past. He'd explained that sometimes in order to process everything going on around him, or even within his own brain, he needed to take a step back and distance himself from the situation, even if only mentally.

Knowing that how his brother could be, Scott, had assured her on the morning of the third day that Chris would snap out of it soon and be as good as new.

Sure enough, that afternoon, Ellie was in the office finishing up a video chat with a prospective new author when Chris appeared in the doorway. She gave him a smile before she redirected her attention to the person she was talking to. From the corner of her eye, she saw Chris taking in the changes she'd made to the room; namely the fact that she had stolen one of the arm chairs from his bedroom.

After saying goodbye, Ellie closed the chat window and then turned her attention to him. "Hey."

"Hey," he replied before nodding his head towards the chair. "That looks good in here."

"You said I could make it my own," she replied with a small shrug. "And this room gets amazing afternoon light and I can only sit in this computer chair for so long. Not to mention the chair was free and easy to move." Chris raised his eyebrow at the idea that she'd moved the chair by herself. "Ok, so I might have bribed your brother to help me."

"That's more like it," Chris said with a chuckle before turning serious. "Sorry I've been in a -"

"You don't need to apologize," she quickly cut him off. "You warned me that sometimes you need your space and I get it. I'm the exact same way, especially after I've been at the coast with my family and all of us in a very small space."

A small smile spread across his face and Ellie couldn't help but get out of the computer chair and go to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. His arms closed around her and he held her close to him.

The fact of the matter was, even after spending two weeks alone with his thoughts, Chris still wasn't sure what the future held for himself and Ellie. Until he knew that, he couldn't make a commitment to her. He'd spent the last two days keeping himself away from her in hopes that the answer would magically come to him, but the only thing he'd figured out was that he missed spending time with her. That, in itself, was an answer of sorts. He figured that, for now, it was answer enough.

While Chris had been away, Ellie had worked with his mom to figure out just how many people could logically stay in the house when his family and friends came to Los Angeles for the premiere of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Logically, they knew that there was a limit, but Chris was notorious for telling anyone who asked that they could stay at the house. With help from his management company, they had located a couple of houses nearby to rent for the week, in order to lessen the number of people sleeping on the floor or sharing beds.

Even with the additional housing, they'd known that there were people that Chris absolutely wouldn't let stay anywhere else. Which was why Ellie would be sharing her guesthouse with Shanna. His mom would take one of the guestrooms, Chris's friend Tara and her husband would take the other guestroom, and his sister Carly and her family would take Chris's bedroom. Which left Chris and Scott on air mattresses in the office and numerous other people camped out on couches and air mattresses on the main floor of the house and in the basement.

With Chris seemingly back to normal and knowing that a lot of people were coming for the premiere, Chris and Ellie spent as much time as they could together during the week that followed. With Scott making himself thoughtfully scarce despite still living with them, they had their sexy times, but spent most of their time together clothed and out of the bedroom. With projects on both of their radars, movies for him and editing for her, they often sat quietly together working and, occasionally, taking makeout breaks before returning to their tasks.

It was after one of these makeout sessions that Chris asked Ellie if she wanted to go to the premiere. He'd been trying to figure out how to ask her since he'd gotten back, but hadn't been sure how to address it. They'd already agreed, before he'd gone on his trip, that they weren't ready to let everyone know they were together, but he wanted her to be there if only as a friend. Going with that notion, he didn't let her say no before he said:

"I want you to be there. At the end of the day, you're one of my friends and it would be weird for you to miss it," he explained. "You wouldn't have to walk the red carpet or even be seen with myself or my family. I would send you and your friend with my former roommates and their wives, safety in numbers, right?"

"How can I say no to such a well thought out request like that?" she replied with a smile. She had secretly been hoping that he would invite her, but she hadn't wanted to press the issue so early on in their relationship. She was relieved that she wouldn't have to walk the red carpet with him, something that she hadn't even thought of when she'd been mentally preparing herself for the event. She'd already scheduled the day off at the bookstore, just in case, and now all she had to do was figure out what to wear. "So, what does one wear to a premiere?"

"Something dressy that won't keep you from dancing at the after party?" he suggested with a shrug.

"The after party? Isn't that where you guys go to let your hair down and get drunk away from the public eye?" she teased, tilting her head. In all honesty, she had no clue what happened at any Hollywood parties.

"And visit with our family and friends that get the invite to said party. We can talk about it more later, if you want to," he replied, his voice trailing off as his eyes dropped to her still swollen lips. In a lower tone, he said, "but right now, I think I'm done working for the night."

Ellie gave him a knowing look before she pushed him back against the couch cushions and pressed her lips against his. They had worked enough for tonight.

Eventually, they made it to the guest house for one last night together before everyone started to arrive. Chris stayed with Ellie for a while after, but when the alarm went off on his phone, he kissed her forehead and got up. He pulled on his boxers and gathered his clothes before making his way back to the big house and his bedroom. His mom and his best friend Tara would be arriving sometime before noon and he didn't want to risk being caught in Ellie's bed or be seen sneaking back to his own.

----

Ellie chewed on the end of her pen as she studied the rough arrival notes for Chris's family and friends. His mom and his friend Tara were due to arrive at any time. The rest of his family was arriving tomorrow and most of his friends, including Tara's husband, would be here on Monday, which was the night they'd planned a large get together at the house.

Flipping to that page in her notebook, Ellie quickly counted the number of guests, again. It was up to fifty people now, after the text she'd gotten from Chris's mom last night. The good news was that she and Tanya Kelley, the wife of Chris's friend who had catered the Super Bowl party, had counted on 75 people being at the party so their numbers were still ok.

Hearing footsteps, she looked up to find Scott in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Mom and Tara just got here," he told her. "Come on."

Setting her pen down, Ellie took a moment to adjust her clothes and her hair before she followed Scott at a much slower pace. She had heard all about Tara from Chris and Scott and was nervous about what the woman would think of her. She knew she was special to Chris, but she also knew that Chris considered Tara his best friend and Scott held the woman in a similar esteem.

By the time Ellie got to the front door, Chris and Scott were pulling suitcases out of the hired car while their mom and Tara, she assumed, made their way to the house.

"There you are, Ellie!" Lisa Evans exclaimed with a smile as they entered the house.

Ellie returned the smile and gave the woman a hug. There was something about Lisa's embrace that put Ellie at ease and she felt her anxiety over Tara vanish almost immediately.

Upon letting go of Ellie, Lisa seemed to recall that she and Tara didn't know each other. She made the introductions as Chris and Scott came into the house with the suitcases.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Tara said, shaking Ellie's hand. "I've heard so much about you."

"It's nice to meet you as well," Ellie replied. "Chris and Scott both rave about you."

"I wouldn't believe half of what those two say," Tara muttered conspiratorially and Ellie couldn't help but laugh as the brothers protested.

"I've learned that," Ellie said with a sidelong glance at Chris as he and Scott carried the suitcases up the stairs. "Full of hot air the both of them."

Tara snickered beside her.

"I can see you two are going to get along just fine," Lisa said with a smile. "Just don't be too mean to my boys. Sensitive egos and all that."

"MA!" Chris and Scott shouted from upstairs.

Still giggling, Ellie led Lisa and Tara into the kitchen and brought them up to speed on the arrival plans and the catered dinner.

"We've been doing events like this for years and it has never been this easy," Lisa said, shaking her head in amazement. "And it's all because of you."

Ellie felt her face flush, but shrugged off the comment. "You gave me all the information and I just made it happen," she replied as she heard the alarm go off on her phone. "I've gotta go to work. I'll see you guys later."

"You're going to dinner with us, right?" Tara asked.

"No, I won't get off work in time," Ellie replied as she grabbed her purse. "I'll grab something on my way home." She passed Scott as he came into the kitchen and found Chris waiting for her by the front door.

"Have a good day," he said with a smile.

"Oh, Chris, I'm glad I caught you both," Tara's voice came from behind them before Ellie could reply to him, causing them to both turn. "We should get a to go meal for Ellie that way she doesn't have to stop on her way home."

"It's not a problem," Ellie said at the same time Chris said, "That's a good idea."

Ellie looked up at Chris and saw that he was giving her his 'I'm not backing down from this' look and sighed. "You know what I like," she said simply. Then she gave him and Tara a small wave before she slipped out the front door.

It took Chris a moment or two longer than it should have before he closed the front door, Tara noticed, and when he finally turned around, he blinked in a manner that suggested that he had forgotten she was standing behind him. Curiosity peaked, Tara made a mental note to watch the two of them while she was in town.

----

For Ellie, the majority of Sunday was spent going between Chris's house and the two rental houses. First thing in the morning, she, Tara and Lisa went to the other houses to make sure that everything was ready for company. Then they went to the grocery store to stock up on the basics for the people that were staying in those places. Chris's dad's family would be staying in the smaller of the two rentals while his friends with kids and their wives would be staying in the second.

Once the other houses were good to go, they returned to Chris's house to act as the official welcoming committee and direct people to where they were staying. For those staying at the other two houses, they were shuttled there, while those who were staying at Chris's house were assigned a spot to put their luggage.

With so many people coming and going, Ellie had planned an easy taco bar style dinner. It meant that people could fix themselves whatever they wanted and heat it up as they so desired.

"You're used to big groups coming and going?" Tara said conversationally as she helped Ellie replenish the empty containers.

"Definitely," Ellie replied and then found herself unable to not explain. "I've got three sisters, but my parents each have four siblings. And my dad is really close with his cousins and their kids. We spend a week in August at the coast together. We used to be able to fit in the cabins my grandparents and my grandma's sister purchased in the 1970s, but we've outgrown them and have to rent additional cabins to have enough places to sleep. But even then, there are usually five or six tents set up for people to sleep in."

"Sounds like a lot of fun," Tara said. "So tomorrow shouldn't phase you at all then?"

"Honestly, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow," Ellie confessed as she glanced towards the dining room that was full of people. "I've met a lot of people today and I know I didn't get all their names and I know more people are coming to the party tomorrow night and -"

"Relax," Tara said with a smile. "We'll be here and so will Chris's buddies, the Frat Boys."

"The Frat Boys?" Ellie asked, confused. "You mean his old roommates?"

"One and the same," Tara replied with a grin. "You've met them, right?"

"Yes I have," Ellie said with a nod. "Many times. I've gotten some fun stories from them…"

"I have even more," Tara said with a grin as she saw Chris come into the room with his brother.

Chris froze as he saw the smirk on Tara's face and then an amused smile on Ellie's. He glanced at his brother who just grinned wickedly before continuing into the room. "What's going on?" he asked Ellie.

"Nothing," she replied with an all too innocently look.

Turning his attention to Tara, he leveled her a menacing look and said, "No storytelling."

"You ruin all my fun," Tara pouted as she crossed her arms.

"Someone has to," Chris replied before winking at Ellie. Hearing his name called from the other room, he nodded at both women and then walked away.

After making sure Tara was busy, Ellie let her eyes follow Chris as he headed towards the dining room. He was wearing her favorite pair of jeans and she didn't think it was on accident. He knew exactly what she thought of those jeans and the way they hugged his ass.

Next to her, Tara cleared her throat and asked, "Are there more taco shells?"

"Taco shells?" Ellie repeated confused at first. Then her mind snapped back into place and she nodded. "In the cupboard next to the fridge. Second shelf."

Ellie was practically dead on her feet by the time she retired to the guesthouse for the night around 10. She'd stuck around for an hour to play charades with the others, but the craziness of the day had caught up to her eventually and she had made her excuses.

By the time Ellie was out of the shower, Shanna had come to the guest house and Ellie helped her blow up the air mattress she was sleeping on. Then, while Shanna showered, Ellie got into bed and read while she waited for Shanna to come back out and turn out the lights.

Hearing her phone ding from an incoming text, Ellie grabbed her phone and smiled when she saw she had a message from Chris:

Set an alarm for 5:45

Her smile fell from her face as she read his message and she replied:

As in the morning?!

Chris replied immediately:

Yes. I want to see you before I leave for the day.

Just come outside the guesthouse and I'll meet you there.

I promise it will be worth your time.

Ellie couldn't help but smile at his rapid fire responses.

I'll be the judge of that, but yes, I'll set an alarm.

Chris's final reply was a thumbs up emoji and a simple "see you in the morning."

----

At 5:45 the next morning, Ellie was cursing Chris under her breath as she forced herself out of her bed.

"What's going on?" Shanna mumbled from the air mattress she was sleeping on.

"I've got to let Daisy out," Ellie replied. "Go back to sleep."

Shanna mumbled something but promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.

Confident that Shanna wouldn't check to see if Daisy was there or not, Ellie left the sleeping dog on the bed and pulled on the sweatpants, sweatshirt and flip flops that she had set out after getting Chris's text. She carefully made her way past Chris's sleeping sister and let herself out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

When she turned, Chris was making his way towards her with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Is that for me?" she asked.

"I told you I'd make it worth your time," he replied as he held the steaming cup out to her.

She took a sip and sighed contently. He'd doctored it just the way she liked it, which was way sweeter than he liked it.

"Is it worth your while yet?" he asked as he took the cup when she offered it back to him.

"Not quite," she replied, letting her voice trail off. She wanted to suggest a good morning kiss, but they could be caught at any moment. And then she remembered that it was 5:45 in the morning and no one in their right mind would be up yet.

Her eyes met his and he gave his head a slight nod before he leaned in to kiss her.

Though she could smell trace amounts of coffee and something that smelled like maple syrup on him, he tasted minty fresh. She rose to her tiptoes as she held onto him, wanting the kiss to continue, but knowing it couldn't.

It was a text from the car service that brought the kiss to an end, a moment later.

"Fuck, I've gotta go," he grumbled. "I'll see you tonight." He gave her another short peck on the lips before he turned, coffee cup in hand, and made his way back to the big house.

Ellie watched him until he disappeared from sight and then quietly slipped back into the guesthouse. She made her way back to bed and slipped back under the covers after kicking off her shoes. Closing her eyes, she fell back to sleep with the feeling of Chris's lips still against hers.

With Chris's mom taking care of breakfast and getting people out the door for various activities, Ellie slept in until eight when Daisy's whimpering woke her up.

As she let the dog outside, she noticed that Shanna was already up and gone. It wasn't until she and Daisy made their way to the big house for breakfast that she recalled Scott mentioning that they were going to Disneyland today with some of their dad's family. Many of Chris's guests had opted to do the typical touristy things during the days leading up to Thursday's premiere, which meant the house was nearly empty.

Arriving in the kitchen, Ellie filled Daisy's water and food bowls and then fixed herself a bowl of cereal. She was almost finished with it when Lisa and Tara came into the room.

"Oh, good, you're awake," Lisa said with a smile. "Chris told me last night that you're coming with us to the premiere."

"He invited me Friday night," Ellie replied after swallowing the last bite. "My cousin Phoenix and I will be going with the Frat Boys and their wives."

"That will be a fun group," Tara said with a grin. "Chris also mentioned that you had never been to a premiere and that you weren't sure what to wear to it."

"I've got some stuff but nothing that seems right for a movie premiere," Ellie confirmed.

"Come shopping with us then," Tara told her. "There's nothing for us to do here until this afternoon when the party rental place gets here with the extra tables and chairs."

"Alright," Ellie replied since she didn't have a good reason to say no. Tara was right, there was nothing to do but sit around and wait.

Five hours later, she was thankful to be back home. With Tara and Lisa's help, she'd found a simple, black cocktail dress to wear to the premiere with a pair of teal heels to wear with it. It had taken them four hours to do their shopping, with both Lisa and Tara finding dresses to wear as well, and then Lisa had treated them to lunch.

After depositing her outfit in the guesthouse, Ellie switched into party setup mode. The weather was in the 70s which meant that everyone from the east coast would likely want to sit outside while everyone from California would likely want to sit inside where it was warm. There would be mingling between the two groups, Ellie knew, but it made it easier to arrange the rented tables and chairs on the decks and grass in the backyard. By the time Tanya arrived with her catering staff, everything was ready to go and Ellie gladly let them take over the kitchen.

With Chris due back around seven, people started returning to the house around six and other people started to arrive around 6:30. Ellie was talking to one of Chris's many cousins when she felt her gaze pulled towards the front door where Chris had just entered. Her eyes lit up at the sight of him, but dimmed briefly when she saw his face shift as he tried to hide how tired he was from a day of dealing with press.

The decision to throw the party tonight or another night had been heavily debated, but the decision had been Chris's ultimately. He'd reasoned that he was going to be exhausted by Thursday and that it was better to have the party earlier in the week than later because of how drained he would be.

As she watched him greet friends that had come to the party, she spotted his mom making her way towards him with a hot cup of tea. After a long day of talking to reporters, she knew that was exactly what his strained voice would need before spending an evening talking to family and friends.

Across the room, Chris gladly accepted the cup of tea from his mom and gave her a one armed hug in thanks. He took a sip of the hot liquid and felt its soothing embrace as it slid down the back of his throat. Seeing that his friend had started a conversation with someone else, he took a moment to survey the group that had gathered. Then he felt his stomach flip at the sight of his younger sister leading their dad towards Ellie. He watched with a twinge of jealousy as Shanna introduced the two, wishing that he could be the one to introduce them.

Sighing, Chris looked away from them and found Tara looking at him with an odd expression on her face. He gave her a questioning look in response and she just shook her head and smiled, playing off the look as nothing. She then nodded her head towards the kitchen and mouthed that dinner was ready.

With a nod, Chris turned back towards the group and whistled loudly. There were chuckles as the crowd both inside and outside, on the patio off the living room, quieted.

"Before we eat, I just want to thank you all for coming and give an extra thank you to Ellie, Tanya, my mom and Tara for making this party happen. Now, Ellie is going to tell us how to go about getting food," he said loudly.

Ellie blinked in surprise at being singled out, but recovered quickly. "There are two buffet stations setup, one in the formal dining room and one outside by the pool deck. There is a lot of food, so please eat as much as you want so we don't have a lot of leftovers to try and fit into the fridge." That comment got her several chuckles. "And with that, go get yourself some food and find a place to visit."

In the end, they still had a lot of food leftover. Even after sending food to the other houses and home with people who lived in the Los Angeles area. It all worked out, however, because it meant that people could reheat the leftovers on Tuesday and Wednesday as they desired.

Unlike Monday, the next two days were pretty low key. Most of the guests spent the day out exploring and very few people who weren't staying at the house came over in the evening when Chris returned from his press duties.

Despite how tired he was both nights, Chris hadn't been able to turn down the invitation to play games with his family members and they had all badgered Ellie until she'd agreed to play, too. When it was all said and done, Ellie had to admit she'd had a great time playing the games even though it made her a little homesick as Chris's family reminded her so much of her own.

----

The morning of the premiere started much like the days before. Chris left the house early to take care of promotional stuff and everyone had breakfast at the house before leaving for whatever they had planned for the morning and early afternoon.

Ellie had planned on spending the morning relaxing before getting ready for the premiere in the afternoon, but a text from Chris changed all that.

Scheduled a surprise for you. Be showered and in the big house by noon.

He didn't reply to her attempts to get more information from him, so she went up to the big house in hopes someone else could shed some light onto the situation. She found Chris's mom, sisters and Tara in the kitchen discussing similar texts they'd all received from Chris, too, and they were all as lost as she was.

In the end, it wasn't until noon when a hair and makeup team showed up at the house, that they finally found out what Chris had planned for them. A few hours of pampering before the premiere. He'd thrown in one additional surprise for Ellie though, in the form of Gus, the hair stylist from Ray and Kady's wedding the summer before.

Much like their first interaction, Gus took one look at Ellie's hair and let out a long breath. "We've got some work to do," he said.

In no time at all, the kitchen and breakfast nook were converted to a makeshift salon with hair, makeup, pedicure and manicure stations setup to take care of them all while they sipped mimosas. And, three hours later, all five ladies were ready for the premiere, save for being in their outfits for the occasion.

Shanna and Ellie went down to the guesthouse and quickly realized that they needed each other's help to get changed without messing up their hair or makeup. After a lot of cursing and nearly pissing themselves with laughter, they finally managed to get out of their street clothes and into their outfits for the premiere before making their way back to the big house. As Lisa had instructed the night before, everyone going to the premiere was gathering in the living room while they waited for the hired cars to arrive.

Ellie's cousin Phoenix arrived a few minutes before the limo and the party bus. The limo was for Chris's mom, sisters, Tara and anyone else who was walking the red carpet with him. Ellie, Phoenix and the other guests would be riding in the party bus that would drop them off away from the red carpet entrance and they'd entered behind the scenes.

As it was her and Phoenix's first time at a movie premiere, they followed the others off the bus and got into line with the other people waiting to get into the theater via the private entrance. The line was hidden from the view of the fans and press that had gathered around the red carpet, but they could still hear the screams.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto," Phoenix said, raising her voice to be heard.

"I haven't heard a crowd like this since I saw Hanson in concert as a teenager," Ellie said with a laugh.

"Ah the memories," Phoenix said with a sigh.

It wasn't until the cousins had made it to their reserved seats within the large auditorium that they found Chris's former roommates and their wives. They visited as they waited for the rest of the audience to come in and for the event to start.

The cast, director and Marvel executives were the last to come in and there were a couple of speeches before the movie started. There was an excited cheer as the room darkened and the movie began to play.

Ellie had worried that she would just see Chris on the screen, but she quickly lost herself in the movie and forgot that Captain America was played by Chris. She felt like she was on the edge of her seat as the plot twisted and turned in unexpected ways. There was an audible gasp from the audience as the Winter Soldier’s true identity was revealed for the first time. They all knew that he was Bucky Barnes, of course, but knowing and seeing it play out on the big screen were two very different things.

The audience cheered and applauded as the end credits began to roll. No one got up to leave, however, and as everyone waited for the credit scenes, the applause died away. In its absence, Ellie could hear people murmuring about what the collapse of SHIELD meant for the successful TV show and how it would affect the storyline.

Once the credits had finished, there were a few more speeches before the celebrities were escorted from the auditorium ahead of everyone else. Then the ushers let each section out a couple at a time, so there wasn’t a mad rush for the doors.

Ellie and Phoenix stuck with Chris's friends as they made their way across the street to the after party at the Hard Rock Cafe. They grabbed food and drinks on their way inside and then found a table that was large enough for their group, even resorting to stealing a couple chairs from a nearby table to make it possible.

Chucky was telling them all about the Captain America: The First Avenger premiere when Chris finally made his appearance after taking care of additional press and photo ops. He playfully slugged Chucky in the side for the story before accepting a hug from his friend and everyone else at the table. During the exchanges, the chair next to Ellie became available and he took it, giving a nod of thanks to Tanya, who was now perched on her husband's lap.

"The movie was really good," Ellie told him with a smile. "Really good."

"Thanks," Chris replied with a slight flush to his cheeks that only deepened as his asshole friends gave him similar but sarcastic comments as well. He knew it was all in fun and, not wanting Ellie to feel awkward, he bumped her knee with his under the table and gave her a reassuring smile when she glanced in his direction.

Chris sat with them for a few more minutes before he forced himself to get up and move about the room to visit his other guests. Despite that, he found himself looking in Ellie's direction every so often and, occasionally, she was looking back at him. He wanted nothing more than to return to the table and hang out with her, but he knew he couldn't.

After being at the party for a couple hours, Ellie and Phoenix decided it was time to leave. They said goodbye to Chris's friends before making their way over to Chris's mom's table to see if any of the other guests, who had stayed for the after party, were ready to go back to the house, but none of them were.

They were making their way to the exit when they bumped into Chris talking to a couple of his co-stars.

"Are you guys leaving?" Chris asked, after introducing them to Anthony Mackie and Scarlett Johansson,

"Yeah, it's been a long day," Ellie replied with a nod.

"Well thanks for coming tonight," Chris said. He gave Ellie a hug and then gave Phoenix one as well. "Do you guys need a car to get home?"

"We ordered an Uber," Ellie replied and had to fight back the grin when she saw Chris's jaw twitch. She wasn't sure what he had against her using Uber, but it amused her to no end.

"Congrats on the movie, Chris," Phoenix said, stepping in to diffuse the tension. "I think it's going to be a massive hit."

"It was nice to meet you both," Ellie said to Anthony and Scarlett. "See you later, Chris."

Then she and Phoenix made their way out of the restaurant and down the street to where their Uber driver was scheduled to pick them up. The driver took Phoenix home first and then took Ellie to Chris's house. It wasn't until she was in the guest house that she sent Chris a text saying that she had gotten home safely.

----

It was after two in the morning and, even though he'd been up late every night that week and had had jam packed days, Chris was too wired to sleep. He briefly considered texting Ellie and asking her to come outside, but that would only raise questions he wasn't ready to answer yet and there wasn't anywhere to go where they could be alone. So, instead, he grabbed a beer out of the fridge and went out to sit on the deck.

He'd only been out there for a few minutes, when he heard the door open behind him and, looking over his shoulder, saw Tara closing the door behind her as she came outside.

"Am I really that predictable?" he asked as he patted the spot next to him on the outdoor couch.

"Yes," his best friend replied as she sat down. "The movie was great, Chris."

"Thanks," he said, bashfully. There was something about getting praise for his work from his close family and friends that made him feel a bit shy and awkward.

Tara chuckled next to him and took the opportunity to steal his beer. She took a quick sip of it and then gave it back to him. She waited until after he'd taken a sip to say, "So Ellie?"

She smirked when she saw his body go rigid and knew she'd been right about the glances she had witnessed between the two when they thought no one else was looking. She had to hand it to them, they had been very sly about it, but having known Chris as long and as well as she did, it hadn't been hard to figure out. Realizing that he was still on edge, she finally let him out of his misery. "Relax, I like her."

At her words, Chris did relax to some degree, but he still seemed on edge.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked, cautiously.

"Only to someone who knows you really well," she replied with an arm on his shoulder. "I really do like her. She's not like the ones you usually date."

"She's not," he agreed though his mind was still whirling over Tara's words. If she had figured it out then his mom probably had, too. Clearing his throat, he casually asked, "Do you think mom knows?"

His best friend snickered into the back of her hand, clearly enjoying his discomfort. He glared at her, momentarily forgetting they were sitting outside in the dark and that his glare wasn't effective if she couldn't see it.

"Honestly, I don't know, we haven't discussed it," she replied though they both knew the topic would come up eventually. "Your mom isn't dumb and she knows both you and Ellie. I'm sure she has an inkling that something is happening, but you and I both know she won't say something to either of you until you or Ellie tell her that something is going on."

Chris nodded his head, knowing that she was right. His mom had always been the type that would wait for you to confess your sins and/or share news before she spoke to you about it, even if she knew what had happened before you told her. And she always seemed to know, especially when he'd done something bad.

After downing the rest of his beer, Chris rolled the empty bottle between his hands. He knew he should tell his mom what was going on with him and Ellie, especially if she already suspected something was up. But telling his mom would change her relationship with Ellie and he knew that Ellie valued his mom's friendship just as much as his mom valued it. Not to mention the added pressure that came with telling your family you're dating someone and the expectations that naturally arose from such an announcement. Adding all of that to the fact that he still wasn't sure about things made it even more complicated.

"You don't have to decide or do anything tonight," Tara's voice interrupted his thoughts. She squeezed his shoulder as she stood up. "It's late and I know you have a flight tomorrow. A long flight with lots of time to overthink it all a million times. Go to bed. It's going to be a madhouse around here tomorrow with most of us leaving."

Somewhat reluctantly, he followed her into the house and made his way up to the office where his empty air mattress awaited him. As did the loud snores coming from a couple of his buddies. He shook his head as he crawled into his sleeping bag. Maybe next time he'd insist on sleeping in a real bed after his premiere and maybe not by himself.

Episode 18

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[rkpjy]

⭐️MGA 5 EPISODE 5 ↪ JINIELJI performing Love Shot by EXO performance details: x outfit: x

“so, please, welcome our returning contestants to the stage!”

for the first time since the beginning of this competition, jinyoung walks on stage with a bright, assumed smile as he bows to everyone applauding him and jackson. the other two teams did very well, and he doesn't doubt it was a close call. minhyun and jeonghan did, after all, perform a similar type of vocal-heavy song. as usual, it's hard to say what made the judges lean in their direction but jinyoung will satisfy himself with the bare minimum of knowing they did better. he knows this will create two very different reactions. those who believe they were unjustifiably eliminated and very happy to see them come back, and those who would rather have seen one of the other contestants step on that stage. jinyoung knows the idea of it isn't exactly fair, not only to the two duos going home today but all of the others who didn't even have a chance to redeem themselves.

but it's part of the game jinyoung has agreed to play and until the end, he will keep his head held high and refuse to let anybody dictate whether or not he deserves to be here. after losing everything and returning triumphant, he thinks he doesn't have anything more to lose. so he'll work hard, and prove them they were right in giving him a second chance. jinyoung hugs jackson out of pure excitement and emotion. he could not have asked for a better partner to pull this off, both complementing each other perfectly. jinyoung notices yugyeom's happy reaction, too, as well as sia's. they both seem ecstatic by his comeback and the singer goes to them as soon as he is allowed to, pulling his roommate into a warm embrace. he rarely lets his emotions show like this but today is a special occasion. he congratulates sia for her deserved first place, curious to see if she will maintain this top spot for episodes to come. it's always difficult to know what goes through the judges' mind. hopefully neither of them disappoint them later on. but if they did, it wouldn't be for a lack of skill.

the idea of trios is a bit underwhelming. this season promised a ton of surprises, never seen before events and so far, it feels a bit repetitive. but having a third person can also spice things up, challenge them, and allow and even more diversity of talents to shine on stage at the same time. it's easy to stand out in a duo, but the more people join the party, the more some will fade into the background. three is still a rather small number, not to mention they have three minutes this time to make sure everyone gets enough spotlight.

exchanging information with daniel and yeji goes relatively well. there's something about daniel's expression that leaves jinyoung puzzled, not sure if he's acting like this out of sheer awkwardness or because he's unhappy about the pairings. either way, they have no choice but to work together. he doesn't think more of it until the next day when they all come to nova for their first practice. jinyoung has mixed feelings about coming back here. the halls are familiar, but he's an outsider now, no longer part of this family. all of the trainees he trained with, save for a few, are preparing for debut. so if he were to come back, which he doesn't wish, it wouldn't be the same at all.

he enters with yeji who got here same time he did, and they settle into the practice room together. he thinks he knows where he recognizes her from, but does not see the importance of pointing it out. it won't help their performance in any way, and it's not like their meeting had meaning in the first place. she seems a lot more focused and determined than he would have imagined, too. maybe he had that preconception because of her younger age, but it is soon thrown out the window. clearly she is here to fight for first place, same as him. jinyoung greets the members of the other team as they arrive, too, but doesn't go out of his way to meddle with them. they're not enemies, of course, but they are rivals, and he doesn't know any of them personally. it's almost a blessing to him. as much as he likes his friends, they could potentially be a distraction.

they start looking up songs together. jinyoung doesn't have a set idea on what he wishes to do this week, as it's better to discuss these things as a team. they all have ideas, and he doesn't claim his to be better or more deserving. he won't however, go along with everything they suggest, and won't be scared to speak up if he disagrees. if they all have the same open-mindedness and involvment, no one should be left bitter or unsatisfied.

daniel finally joins them, and they exchange a small greeting, but the atmosphere is just as gloomy as it was yesterday during filming. it's quite obvious that something is off with daniel. jinyoung hasn't had the chance to spend time with him in pretty much forever, the last time when they were both children in busan, but from what he's seen, daniel is a friendly guy. not today, though. it's hard to really describe how uncomfortable the situation is, but he knows yeji feels it too. he decides not to pay too much attention to it right away. maybe daniel will put himself together and leave whatever negative feelings he has behind so they can do what they're here to do.

it doesn't go that way, however.

“daniel? are you listening? we need your opinion on this.” jinyoung says. he's not irritated (yet) but doesn't want to waste time coddling anyone here. he's the big brother often enough in his every day life without the need to be one here. at least not during practice. they can vent however they want outside of this building, but as soon as they step inside they should all put their game faces on.

daniel is caught off guard, confirming that he indeed wasn't paying any attention to whatever jinyoung and yeji were saying, and that reaction alone is bad enough, but what comes out of his mouth next... "i just don't have any ideas yet."  daniel responds quietly. now if jinyoung was not annoyed because, he definitely is now. "you don't have a single idea?" yeji retorts. "we need your input on this, oppa." the girl is right. jinyoung, looking at her, nods approvingly before turning to daniel. "for now you don't even need ideas, we just want to know what you think of these songs." jinyoung sounds like he's losing patience, though still very poised in appearance. "it's really not that hard." is this a hint of annoyance finally peeking through? either way, it's enough for daniel to apologize a few times, but it doesn't convince jinyoung. he doesn't care about an apology if the younger's behavior doesn't change.

and then they get a small explanation. daniel mentions his friends, and that he's not at his best right now. it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots. so that's what it's all about. his friends being eliminated? jinyoung feels his body tense up. the annoyance turns into anger. the audacity the boy has to come in here with a pitiful face on, whining about his friends after jinyoung himself had to fight to come back in this darned competition. not to mention they all, so far, lost someone they cared about. are empty enigma members some superior friends that losing them means the world ended or something? he glares at daniel, not a single of trace of compassion visible on his face. "if you give up now you realize you’re proving everyone right? that you were here just for your band and that without them you can’t cope?” he knows he sounds harsh but honestly, he doesn't care. if that's what it takes to snap daniel out of this pity party he's throwing himself, jinyoung will gladly take the blame.

yeji, to his surprise, takes his side. since they're cousins he thought maybe she would think he went too far, but he really is starting to respect her drive. she adds that he will feel better if he knows he did his best to help, to which jinyoung agrees. now, whether they managed to pull daniel out of his daze, he's not sure yet but they at least succeed in having him participate more actively. they finally decide on exo as an artist, hesitating between love shot and another song. now, jinyoung isn't exactly a fan of this group but it's a team effort, and it can't always be about his own music taste. it also fits the kind of concept they were aiming for. something charismatic and groovy, which love shot is perfect for especially if they rearrange it to a slower pace.

daniel finally votes for love shot, not before being an indecisive burden - much to jinyoung's despair - and it's time to advance to the next stage. they now need to decide if they will just perform the song as it is, or if they will make appropriate changes where need be in order to highlight each of their strengths. daniel quickly mentions that he's not a good dancer, a detail already known by both jinyoung and yeji, but the older points out that while a singing and rapping performance would not be a bother to him, it might come as a slight disadvantage to yeji. not because she cannot do anything else, but as a team they should at least show that they can dance what jinyoung sees as a simple choreography. the chorus especially is not very hard to master from what he's seen earlier.

yeji takes a small break to get water now that they've decided on a song, leaving a very awkward daniel and jinyoung alone together. or, almost alone if they take into account the other team going about their business on the other side of the room. jinyoung wonders if there's tension among them too, but so far no one has raised their voice. lucky.

"you're still quiet," jinyoung points out. granted, he's being quiet too right now, but so far daniel hasn't been participating a lot. it should be give and take, not just taking. daniel assures him that it's because he was thinking of the performance, to which the singer gives him the benefit of the doubt. he's not here to insult daniel. he doesn't want to fight him, but he doesn't have any desire to be nice when the other looks like he wants to be anywhere else but here. that alone is, frankly, more insulting than anything jinyoung has said so far. "so, what were you thinking then?" he pushes daniel to talk, hoping it will finally work, hoping they'll finally get some meat around the dry bone he's been since the beginning.

he does share he feels as if dancing would only highlight his weakness instead of his strengths, which jinyoung can understand. but there's always a way to include dancing somehow. he doesn't think they can avoid it, at least not for the entire performance. when daniel mentions that it would eliminate him, jinyoung almost points out it seems like it's exactly what he wants. with the way he's been acting, it's clear that daniel's heart and mind are with his departed friends instead of with them. instead, he just replies "then what would your rather show?" and although a little dry, it's a valid question. if he doesn't want to dance, what does he want to do? it's up to him to convince them, not the opposite.

but instead of a substantial answer, all jinyoung gets is yet another 'i'm a poor, pitiful, untalented boy who can't do anything so it doesn't matter if we lose i'll just go home to my little band.' or well, that's exactly how he hears it despite not being daniel's own words. he says he doesn't have anything to show, that it'll be exactly what eric said. and honestly, jinyoung barely has any idea what he's referring to. probably a comment sohn youngjae made in his interview, or to him personally. but jinyoung did hear bribes about some people questioning empty enigma's motives to be in the competition. which he paid no attention to until... today.

his busan dialect comes out when he speaks up, clear evidence of his growing anger. whenever he gets too upset, he drops the seoul speech unconsciously. “and you think the little kid has something better to show? take what he said and use it. fight, don’t just stand there and let him and all the others decide who you are. because i’m honestly starting to believe them,” he wishes he didn't have to be this hard on him, but jinyoung has had enough of the moping around and self-loathing. they have a job to do and he will be damned if they end up in bottom five and are sent home because daniel spent the entire week crying his friends. unless they die, he better pull himself together and stop looking so defeated.

daniel retorts that jinyoung doesn't know who he is. alright, fine, maybe he doesn't. the memories he kept of daniel happened more than ten years ago. the man standing before him is not the little boy he used to know. the little boy who gave jinyoung no chance to know who he is, because he left without leaving an address. and quite honestly, jinyoung had not thought about him in a very, very long time until he saw him perform on stage a couple weeks back. and the humiliation he felt when it took daniel this long to recognize him what not one of a rational adult. it was the betrayed child inside of him coming back to hate daniel for what he did, despite it not being his fault.

they're not friends anymore, he thinks. they just remember being friends, and that means nothing. certainly not to daniel who is too busy thinking of his band members to see what's in front of him: his very own cousin, and his childhood friend who wanted nothing more than to work alongside him and win this round. so no, he has no idea who daniel is. because so far all daniel has shown is how weak-willed he is. and that's not something jinyoung wants in a friend.

“if you want to show you’re your own person, it’s time to prove it. you’re creative and good-looking; put these assets to work. show us who you are.” he insists on the last few words. he has nothing personal against daniel. the adult jinyoung does not resent him for leaving back then. he understands. but he will not accept any more of this circus show. and yeji's voice can be heard in unison with his own, pushing daniel into a corner. now he has a choice. he's with them, or against them.

"did you improve since last year at all?" now hopefully this will set daniel off. jinyoung doesn't mind if he upsets him. at least it will make daniel feel something, react, interact, instead of just stand there and wait for the sky to fall on them so he can run home. yeji, done with their banter, wonders out loud if they're each to diss each other or practice. her reasoning, while valid, doesn't take jinyoung's motivation into account. he doesn't want to diss daniel for the sake of dissing him. he wants to break this never-ending cycle of self-pity. daniel will want to defend himself, at least he hopes, and by doing so will list the things he's good at. and if it doesn't serve as a reminder that he did, in fact, improve and has the potential to go even further if he allows himself to... jinyoung will believe he's a lost cause.

“did you already perfect the entire dance choreo oppa? is that why you are acting like this? AT LEAST SPEAK KOREAN IF YOU ARE GONNA FIGHT.” the first half of yeji's intervention makes perfect sense, though a little harsh (jinyoung obviously can't say anything about that), but the second half leaves him confused. what in the world is she talking about? "we are speaking korean!" the boys reply in unison. was it yeji's masterplan to have them finally agree on something? but it does serve to ease the growing tension a little bit.

“you can do this, and prove everyone wrong, but to be able to, you need to believe in yourself, and you need to participate,”  jinyoung has calmed down, and so has daniel. he holds the younger's shoulders, shaking him up a little. daniel finally agrees, and soon enough jinyoung asks for a hug so they can settle this argument once and for all. he really wishes daniel won't resent him for all of this, but if it serves as fuel to get him through this week it will be worth it. jinyoung doesn't mind being disliked if they can put on a great show in the end.

they finally gather in a circle, giving the songs a few listens and each of them giving opinions on how they could arrange it. they all agree that daniel has a musician's mind, and therefore would be able to work on the instrumental. jinyoung, who's trained in singing, can make sure the harmonies and line distribution suits all of their vocal tones and match well together. finally, yeji can work on the choreography. they decide that each of them will get a small highlighted solo that will focus on their main strength. daniel will get a guitar solo in the beginning and yeji will have a dance break during the first chorus, and jinyoung will sing the bridge acapella, to transition into the original song for the final chorus where they'll dance.

every practice until sunday is mostly dedicated to making all of these rearrangements, and each of them focus on their task at hand. jinyoung is quite happy to see daniel put so much effort. he still feels... distant, but they're on friendly speaking terms for the most part. they do practice a bit here and there, mostly for each of them to confirm if it's working out or not, for example jinyoung has yeji sing some of the lines to make sure her vocals match them. she did ask not to underestimate her, and while it's not his goal to do so, he wants to make sure it sounds the best it can.

starting from monday, they go into very intensive practice. the whole performance is pieced together and there's no time left for any argument. yeji is a very strict teacher, which jinyoung appreciates. he has no trouble following the simplified choreography, but daniel does encounter some issues. he's stiff, unsynchronized, and prone to apologizing profusely every time he messes up even if it disrupts the practice. yeji sets things straight and, starting from then, things go rather smoothly. it's funny, however, being in the same room as the other team at all times. they're both quite aware of what the others are up to, and the heavy breathing from the other team has jinyoung crack up his very first joke of the week. "is it the other team or just daniel dying?" it's not very funny. jinyoung is a serious person, but it does make daniel laugh at least - as well as kenta from the other side of the room. - and the younger says "both", refererring to his own exhaustion.

he doesn't not interact with the other team a lot. kenta is a bit weird, always doing something random whenever jinyoung looks his way, to the point where he wonders if it's on purpose to annoy him. jungeun seems to have quite the spunky personality, a bit like yeji, and hansol, well... all he really notices about him is that yeji seems to like him. now whether they know each other or not, he can't really tell, but there's an unspoken tension he can't quite figure out the nature of.

every time he can afford to go home, his girlfriend is there waiting for him, listening to his long, tired rants about how the week has been going. she is the best support he could hope for: giving him massages, encouraging him, even joining on the complaints he has about daniel's past behavior. they're both happy that he turned himself around though, and things are much better now. jinyoung feels like the performance is really coming together into something good, that they'll be able to present proudly comes thursday.

he finds himself sitting next to daniel once they get to the set the day of the recording. funny, how they started out this round ready to jump at each other's throat and now they have nothing but support for each other. they're a team after all, and jinyoung has to admit daniel did work hard once he snapped out of his sadness. it's not to say they've been the best friends, but they found that maybe they still have things in common despite years apart, and there's a potential to reconnect after the show is over. unless jinyoung goes home this week.

they watch the first teams, and jinyoung can't help but notice that the quality of the performances is ever growing. he doesn't fear for his own. they worked hard, and they put together something very creative that will set them apart. now the only thing left is to find out if the same few people will find their way to the top again, or fall down to make place for others.

he gives daniel's thigh occasional pats of encouragement, hoping to ease the other's nervousness should there be any. he doubts there isn't. despite his efforts, daniel still has some issues with dancing, and it won't magically go away. but he has enough charisma to make the audience forget about his flaws, if he uses it to his advantage and doesn't overthink. "you got this, alright?" he tells him right as the team before them step off stage. he leans over to look at yeji, too. "we all got this." they're a perfect combination of skills, and all they need to do is convince the judges.

they get in position in the center of the stage, jinyoung standing on the left (from a judge's perspective), then daniel and yeji respectively. after signaling each other with a glance, they all exclaim "we are the love shot!" at once, jinyoung immediately continuing with the syllable of his name "jin-" as the other two says theirs to form "jinielji!" and they end it with a gun pose, yeji and jinyoung turning their backs on daniel. he's never cringed more in his life, but it's part of what he needs to do as a team. sacrificing his dignity being one of them, fighting daniel the other.

daniel starts it off with his guitar solo, and leaves it behind once he's done as he's decided earlier this week after a change of heart. jinyoung was quite happy with that decision, treating it as daniel's way of wanting to prove everyone wrong. he's capable of more than just hide behind a prop. the instrumental kicks in to accompany their voices, and jinyoung readies himself.

Aiming at each other, to the point it's freezing hearing your voice, sounding so sharp I'm only filled with thoughts that leave me breathless Oh oh oh oh oh Aye Aye 

it’s the type of melody that instead of having people on their feet dancing, has them groove their head to the beat instead, and really pay attention to the vocals and lyrics instead of just the flashy aspect. jinyoung was actually surprised at how meaningful the lyrics were once he really heard them instead of being distracted by the choreography. of course, they want to end it with a bang, so the sensual dancing will come... later on. it’s definitely different from what he did with jackson. while emotional, it was all about power and soul. this week is about soul, also, but they’re going for a different vibe.

It's the love shot

jinyoung smirks, and aims the gun formed by his hand at the camera. the focus soon switches to yeji, who takes center stage while the boys move farther apart so she has all the space she needs to dance. looking at her, he’s proud. not a big brother’s pride, but a teammate’s pride. she worked hard, often overshadowed by jinyoung and daniel’s bickering, and clearly came out victorious. 

It’s the love shot

It's getting twisted, love and hate Our beautiful memories Are dyed in white Fading bit by bit

jinyoung can’t help but look briefly at daniel while singing. he didn’t really think of it during practice, but remembering everything that went on between them, including their childhood, it seems weirdly appropriate of his current feelings towards him. they clearly care for each other, but the sense of unfamiliarity after years apart makes it hard to really connect again, or remember why they even were friends in the first place. they both changed into different people, for one, jinyoung being a lot more serious than he used to be as a child. 

People come and people go You and I standing still in this world Slowly growing used to our dulled feeling

right before the bridge, the music slowly fades out, briefly pauses, and jinyoung’s voice resonates in the studio, smooth and clear. 

clearly, the song is about romantic love, but jinyoung is very happily in a relationship right now, and therefore does not relate to the love and hate aspect when he thinks of mina. instead he thinks of his lost friendship with daniel, and how yeji was caught in-between, and also forced to be harsher than she intended to. he wonders how they feel about the whole thing. but the more he means the words and the better his singing will be, so their faces don’t leave jinyoung’s mind until the very end of the bridge. yeji and daniel share the next part, as the original instrumental of the song starts playing, but they’re not dancing yet.

It's the love shot

jinyoung looks at the judges, putting his hand to his throat as the choreography dictates. the chorus hits harder this time around, and they were going for the surprise effect even if some of the viewers might have expected it. he hopes the trick worked, and that it will surprise them so close to the end. they sing all the ‘na na na’s together, with adlibs done mostly by jinyoung but some by yeji too. they chose an easier part of the choreography but it is, after all, the most iconic version that most people remember when they think of love shot. jinyoung can only hope it looks as good as the last few times they practiced it, but he believes in the other two. he can’t say with conviction that he has put aside all of the annoyance he felt over the course of this week, but for now he’s forgotten all of it for the sake of the performance. they need to stand strong together, and daniel doing the last ‘it’s the love shot�� with all of them making the ending pose together goes to show they all managed to get through it undefeated (for the most part).

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hi, I just found out your blog, and I really like it! Lots of things about John and Paul. I find their relationship very interesting and intriguing. About LSD, why do you think it took Paul so long to take it with John? I remember reading somewhere that Paul took it in the end of 1965 or in then begging of 1966 with some of his friends from London, but somehow he didnt want to take it with John. Do you think he was afraid?

Hey there, @righimoraes! I’m glad you’re enjoying what you came across so far! And yeah, your choice of words is absolutely perfect; I think it was those very same characteristics that captivated me so much in the first place (besides the utter beauty involved in a creative process of this magnitude).

I must warn you, this got terribly out of hand, so prepare for a proper testament! But I’d love it if you showed the patience to plough through to the end and let me know what you think!

Now, you can’t begin to imagine how happy I was when you brought up the LSD! Because, in my personal opinion, if there is a change in tune in the middle of this whole symphony that can be described as ‘intriguing’ it is that 1st acid trip they took together. For me, it’s only surpassed in terms of sheer mysteriousness by India.  But let’s look at the timeline that preceded it first.

As the story goes, John and George were the first to unwittingly come into contact with the famous lysergic acid diethylamide 25, somewhen between March and April of 1965, in the London home of Dr John Riley, George’s cosmetic dentist. 

The experience, as they describe it, was fantastic and life-changing. 

We’d just sat down and ordered our drinks when suddenly I feel the most incredible feeling come over me. It was something like a very concentrated version of the best feeling I’d ever had in my whole life. It was fantastic. I felt in love, not with anything or anybody in particular, but with everything. Everything was perfect, in a perfect light, and I had an overwhelming desire to go round the club telling everybody how much I loved them – people I’d never seen before.

- George Harrison, Anthology

John too seemed to have a rather good trip, as he fondly recalls all the crazy shenanigans they got up to that night.

George somehow or another managed to drive us home in his Mini. We were going about ten miles an hour, but it seemed like a thousand. And Pattie was saying, ‘Let’s jump out and play football, there’s these big rugby poles’ and things like that. I was getting all this sort of hysterical jokes coming out, like with speed, because I was always on that, too. George was going, ‘Don’t make me laugh!’ Oh God! It was just terrifying. But it was fantastic.

- John Lennon, Lennon Remembers by Jann Wenner

So amazingly reality-shattering was the whole ordeal, that the two Beatles felt it was crucial to share this new-found enlightenment with the rest of the band.

John and I had decided that Paul and Ringo had to have acid, because we couldn’t relate to them any more. Not just on the one level – we couldn’t relate to them on any level, because acid had changed us so much. It was such a mammoth experience that it was unexplainable: it was something that had to be experienced, because you could spend the rest of your life trying to explain what it made you feel and think. It was all too important to John and me. So the plan was that when we got to Hollywood, on our day off we were going to get them to take acid. We got some in New York; it was on sugar cubes wrapped in tinfoil and we’d been carrying these around all through the tour until we got to LA.

- George Harrison, Anthology

And so, on 25 August 1965, while on break from their tour, John and George share the wonders of LSD with Ringo. Roadies Neil Aspinall and Mal Evans respectively partake and stay straight to keep an eye on things. Paul declines.

Curiously, it was a particular encounter in this LA party that inspired John to write ‘She Said She Said’.

He was describing an acid trip he’d been on. We didn’t want to hear about that! We were on an acid trip and the sun was shining and the girls were dancing and the whole thing was beautiful and Sixties, and this guy – who I really didn’t know; he hadn’t made Easy Rider or anything – kept coming over, wearing shades, saying, “I know what it’s like to be dead,” and we kept leaving him because he was so boring! And I used it for the song, but I changed it to 'she'” instead of 'he’. It was scary. You know, a guy… when you’re flying high and [whispers] 'I know what it’s like to be dead, man.’ I remembered the incident. Don’t tell me about it! I don’t want to know what it’s like to be dead!

- John Lennon, All We Are Saying by David Sheff

In the same way Paul is absent from this episode, he is notably not featured in the Revolver track itself.

And so begins the months-long effort (especially on John’s part), to try and pressure Paul into dropping acid with them (him).

Paul felt very out of it 'cause we were all a bit cruel. It’s like, 'We’re taking it and you’re not.' 

- John Lennon, Lennon Remembers by Jann Wenner

As you see, making him feel excluded was one of the prefered methods of manipulation. And it came both in the form as literal exclusions from the song making process (see above) and perhaps more insidious attempts at eliciting jealousy. I think one of the pawns in John’s famous ‘mind games’ ended up being George himself. The latter seemed quite happy to fill the vacancy as the main travel companion, the one with the shared life experiences, and all the closeness that brought.   

After taking acid together, John and I had a very interesting relationship. That I was younger or I was smaller was no longer any kind of embarrassment with John. Paul still says, 'I suppose we looked down on George because he was younger.’ That is an illusion people are under. It’s nothing to do with how many years old you are, or how big your body is. It’s down to what your greater consciousness is and if you can live in harmony with what’s going on in creation. John and I spent a lot of time together from then on and I felt closer to him than all the others, right through until his death. As Yoko came into the picture, I lost a lot of personal contract with John; but on the odd occasion I did see him, just by the look in his eyes I felt we were connected.

- George Harrison, Anthology

Finally, John - his idol, his hero - regarded him as an equal! 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to belittle John and George’s relationship, because the dynamic was also fascinating, and it was with each other that they could explore the more spiritual questions of their existence, something they couldn’t quite do with the more down-to-earth pair of Paul and Ringo. But that doesn’t invalidate the fact that the person John seemed most desperate to share this incredibly intimate experience with was Paul. 

On his part, Paul was, as you correctly supposed, rather afraid. We must remember that he was always the most cautious out of all the four. As he put it:

John – he’s got movement. He’s a very fast mover. He sees new things happening and he’s away. Me – I’m conservative. I feel I need to check things. I was last to try pot and LSD and floral clothes. I’m slower than John, the least likely to succeed in class.

- Paul McCartney, The Beatles by Hunter Davies

In the Anthology, he spells it out quite clearly.

But I really was… frightened of that kind of stuff. Cus it’s what you’re taught when you’re younger! ‘Hey! Watch out for them devil drugs!’. So… so when acid came ‘round, we’d heard you’re never the same. It alters your life and you’ll never be the same again. And I think John was rather excited by that prospect; I think I was rather frightened by that prospect! [huffs] Just what I need! You know? To have some funny little thing where I never get back… home again! You know? Oh, jeez, you know? May not be the greatest move… So I delayed. And I was seen to sort of stall a little bit, I think, within the group. Cus a lot of peer pressure- I mean, talk about peer pressure! The Beatles?

Paul McCartney, Anthology

It must have been a rough few months of resisting for Paul, as he recounts multiple times how straining it was to be the one on the side while your band, your closest family, continues to increase the rift between you in an effort to make you jump. 

Thoroughly worn down, Paul finally capitulates on 13 December 1965. That night, John and Paul had returned to the Scotch of St James nightclub, where on the previous day the Beatles had their end of tour celebrations. There they met  The Who’s John Entwistle and the Pretty Things’ former drummer Viv Prince, but most importantly Nicky Browne, Tara Browne’s wife, who invites them all back to their London home on Eaton Row. Paul and some others accept the offer. John declines.

This time, when Tara Brown suggests they drop acid, Paul relents.

I was more ready for the drink or a little bit of pot or something. I’d not wanted to do it, I’d held off like a lot of people were trying to, but there was massive peer pressure. And within a band, it’s more than peer pressure, it’s fear pressure. It becomes trebled, more than just your mates, it’s, 'Hey, man, this whole band’s had acid, why are you holding out? What’s the reason, what is it about you?’ So I knew I would have to out of peer pressure alone. And that night I thought, well, this is as good a time as any, so I said, 'Go on then, fine.’ So we all did it.

- Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles

Of that first trip itself, Paul had this to say:

It was such a mind-expanding thing. I saw paisley shapes and weird things, and for a guy who wasn’t that keen on getting that weird, there was a disturbing element to it. I remember looking at my shirtsleeves and seeing they were dirty and not being too pleased with that, whereas normally you wouldn’t even notice. But you noticed and you heard. Everything was supersensitive.

- Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles

You’ll notice that contrary to the other Beatles’ recounts of their experiences while on LSD, Paul’s are often described with more negative words, with ‘disturbing’ being a recurring adjective. 

Now, if you are wondering why Paul took LSD with a group of acquaintances but not with his own band (or rather John), that’s when we enter the realm of speculation. Might it have been a matter of pride, a small victory in the way of ‘okay, I saw what it was all about, but on my terms, not because you pushed me into doing it with you’? Might have. 

But again, here (as in most places) I find that the most likely motivator was fear. There was, after all, a lot more at stake in a life-changingly intimate experience with your best friend and partner – the same partner with whom you’re not entirely sure just how intimate you want/should/can be – than with a bunch of strangers. So Paul probably would rather sacrifice the heavy significance John was sure to place on ‘first times’, in order to more cautiously scout the whole affair. If this is the motivation behind these events, then it should be seen as a sign of just how important his relationship with John was to him, that he was so careful not to screw it up. (What a pity then that John himself seemed to require big bold moves, entire leaps of faith, as a declaration of true affection…)

Meanwhile, John had become increasingly enthralled with the escapism offered by acid and used it regularly. As his at the time wife, Cynthia - for whom the intimacy suggested by the chemical felt false and manufactured - recounts:

When John was tripping I felt as if I was living with a stranger. He would be distant, so spaced-out that he couldn’t talk to me coherently. I hated that, and I hated the fact that LSD was pulling him away from me. I wouldn’t take it with him so he found others who would. Within weeks of his first trip, John was taking LSD daily and I became more and more worried. I couldn’t reach him when he was tripping, but when the effects wore off he would be normal until he took it again.

- Cynthia Lennon, John

For Paul, however, his experiences with LSD seemed not to have freed him of his doubts, for it would only be on 21 March 1967, more than a year later, that he would finally choose to take acid with his songwriting partner, in the well-known episode.

While recording the song ‘Getting Better’ for Sgt Pepper, John mistakenly took and LSD pill instead of a stimulant.

I thought I was taking some uppers, and I was not in a state of handling it. I can’t remember what album it was but I took it and then [whispers] I just noticed all of a sudden I got so scared on the mike. I said, 'What was it?’ I thought I felt ill. I thought I was going cracked. Then I said, 'I must get some air.’ They all took me upstairs on the roof, and George Martin was looking at me funny. And then it dawned on me. I must have taken acid. And I said, 'Well, I can’t go on, I have to go.’ So I just said, 'You’ll have to do it and I’ll just stay and watch.’ I just [became] very nervous and just watching all of a sudden. 'Is it alright?’ and they were saying, 'Yeah.’ They were all being very kind. They said, 'Yes, it’s alright.’ And I said, 'Are you sure it’s alright?’ They carried on making the record.

- John Lennon, Lennon Remembers by Jann Wenner

In this particular instance, John is misremembering, for the session did not proceed when the others realised what was happening. As George Martin recalls it:

We stood there for a minute or two, with John swaying gently against my arm. ‘I’m feeling better,’ he announced. Then he looked up at the stars. 'Wow..’ he intoned. 'Look at that! Isn’t that amazing?“. I followed his gaze. The stars did look good but they didn’t look that good. It was very unlike John to be over the top in that way. I stared at him. He was wired-pin-sharp and quivering, resonating away like a human tuning fork.No sooner had John uttered his immortal words about the stars than George and Paul came bursting out on the roof. They had come tearing up from the studio as soon as they found out where we were.They knew why John was feeling unwell. Maybe everyone else did, too - everyone except for father-figure George Martin here!It was very simple. John was tripping on LSD. He had taken it by mistake, they said - he had meant to take an amphetamine tablet. That hardly made any difference, frankly; the fact was that John was only too likely to imagine he could fly, and launch himself off the low parapet that ran around the roof. They had been absolutely terrified that he might do so. I spoke to Paul about this night many years later, and he confirmed that he and George had been shaken rigid when they found out we were up on the roof. They knew John was having a what you might call a bad trip. John didn’t go back to Weybridge that night; Paul took him home to his place, in nearby Cavendish Road. They were intensely close, remember, and Paul would do almost anything for John. So, once they were safe inside, Paul took a tablet of LSD for the first time, 'So I could get with John’ as he put it- be with him in his misery and fear.What about that for friendship?

- George Martin, Anthology

He seemed especially fond of Paul’s attitude, for he reiterates the point in his own memoir.

Paul’s thoughtfulness in going home with John was typical of one of the best sides of his character.

- George Martin, All You Need Is Years

And so Paul drove both of them back to his home in Cavendish, where the moment had finally presented itself for him to go on a little journey with John.

I thought, ‘Maybe this is the moment where I should take a trip with him. It’s been coming for a long time. It’s often the best way, without thinking about it too much, just slip into it. John’s on it already, so I’ll sort of catch up.’ It was my first trip with John, or with any of the guys. We stayed up all night, sat around and hallucinated a lot.

Me and John, we’d known each other for a long time. Along with George and Ringo, we were best mates. And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot. And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away.

There’s something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, 'How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?’ And the answer is, you don’t. After that you’ve got to get trepanned or you’ve got to meditate for the rest of your life. You’ve got to make a decision which way you’re going to go.

I would walk out into the garden – 'Oh no, I’ve got to go back in.’ It was very tiring, walking made me very tired, wasted me, always wasted me. But 'I’ve got to do it, for my well-being.’ In the meantime John had been sitting around very enigmatically and I had a big vision of him as a king, the absolute Emperor of Eternity. It was a good trip. It was great but I wanted to go to bed after a while.

I’d just had enough after about four or five hours. John was quite amazed that it had struck me in that way. John said, 'Go to bed? You won’t sleep!’ 'I know that, I’ve still got to go to bed.’ I thought, now that’s enough fun and partying, now … It’s like with drink. That’s enough. That was a lot of fun, now I gotta go and sleep this off. But of course you don’t just sleep off an acid trip so I went to bed and hallucinated a lot in bed. I remember Mal coming up and checking that I was all right. 'Yeah, I think so.’ I mean, I could feel every inch of the house, and John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all. It was quite strange. Of course he was just sitting there, very inscrutably.

- Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles

There it is then. The main event. And it was just as profoundly intimate as they’d hoped/feared. 

I urge you, again, not to get lost on the fantastically romantic imagery of eye contact to the point of merging, but to notice the slightly uneasy light in which Paul paints the entire episode, with the resurgence of ’disturbing’. And so my tag for the whole LSD scene is born: “How do you come back from it?”

Because these two got to the point of losing their own identities in the other, they truly became One, and they were not ready for it. It was everything John wanted and everything Paul was trying to avoid, and I think it started to destroy them.

And even if John thought this was the level of closeness he ought to be at with Paul (for reasons that I tried to express in the first posted opinion of mine), even he reckoned later that the LSD induced smashing of his ego was more detrimental to his mental and emotional health than beneficial.

I had many [bad trips]. Jesus Christ. I stopped taking it 'cause of that. I mean I just couldn’t stand it. I dropped it for I don’t know how long. Then I started taking it just before I met Yoko. I got a message on acid that you should destroy your ego, and I did. I was reading that stupid book of Leary’s and all that shit. We were going through a whole game that everybody went through. And I destroyed meself. I was slowly putting meself together after Maharishi, bit by bit, over a two-year period. And then I destroyed me ego and I didn’t believe I could do anything. I let Paul do what he wanted and say, them all just do what they wanted. And I just was nothing, I was shit. And then Derek [Taylor] tripped me out at his house after he’d got back from LA. He said, 'You’re alright.’ And he pointed out which songs I’d written, and said, 'You wrote this, and you said this, and you are intelligent, don’t be frightened.’ The next week I went down with Yoko and we tripped out again, and she freed me completely, to realise that I was me and it’s alright. And that was it. I started fighting again and being a loud-mouth again and saying, 'Well, I can do this,’ and 'Fuck you, and this is what I want,’ and 'Don’t put me down. I did this.’

- John Lennon, Lennon Remembers by Jann Wenner

Paul’s overall opinion on acid was as follows:

Sometimes it was a very very deeply emotional experience, making you want to cry, sometimes seeing God or sensing all the majesty and emotional depth of everything. And sometimes you were just plain knackered, because it would be like sitting up all night in a train station, and by the morning you’ve grown very stiff and it’s not a party any more. It’s like the end of an all-nighter but you haven’t danced. You just sat. So your bum might be sore, just from sitting. I was often quite wiped out by it all but I always thought, Well, you know, everybody’s doing it.

The thing I didn’t like about acid was it lasted too long. It always wore me out. But they were great people to be around, a wacky crowd. My main problem was just the stamina you had to have. I never attempted to work on acid, I couldn’t. What’s the point of trying, love?

- Paul McCartney, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles

On 17 June 1967, the whole ‘Paul admits to taking LSD’ debacle happens, and though he defends his statement and his position to the press, by then the bands interested in the substance had started to wane, when some of the disillusionment over the whole drug-cult started settling in. 

By 26 August 1967, the Beatles had publicly renounced drugs and started looking for the answers to life’s big questions with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his system of Transcendental Meditation. 

(But we know how similarly those endeavours ended, with bitter disillusionment and an even greater rift within the band and John and Paul themselves. That, though, is another story.)

And in the end (for those brave few that endured this far), I too see this whole LSD dabbling as exactly what they thought it would be: life-changing. It was a definite turning point (so much so that I chronologically tag it as the Bridge of the piece) in their relationship. They had reached total togetherness. But something there, maybe the restrictions they imposed unto themselves of what is socially acceptable, maybe something even more crucial in human nature that repels us from totally losing a concept of self (despite how much escapism we sometimes desire), made it so they couldn’t handle that. And if this startling realization didn’t start, it definitely enlargened the fractures in the partnership.

But what do you guys think? I’d love to hear your opinions. Especially considering their ‘67 seemingly happy communal living. Maybe India was the true turning point. Maybe it was sooner, when they stopped touring and ‘living in each other’s pockets’. Please let me know your thoughts, and once again, thank you so much for this ask!

[pikapikaprecure]

Pikapika☆Precure Under The Big Top episode 5- Pretty Cure Sleepover! Robot fight at 3 a.m?

Finally, it was last period. Even better, Friday. Just five more minutes...

four...

three...

two...

one...

zero! Suzume walked out the door and made her way to her house, Emica running as fast as she could way ahead of her. By the time Suzume got to the front porch, Emica was waiting there for at least two minutes. “Hey Suzu! guess what?”

"What?” Suzume sighed and started to unlock the door.

“I asked Mom and Dad if I could invite some friends over while you were at the rink, and they said yes!”

“Which friends?”

“Well, I only have two options, Noa and Kaede. I asked both of them.”

"You have to have more than two friends.”

“Nope!” Emica made a childish smile. “Anyway, Noa said we could have a sleepover and everyone else said that was okay! Mom and Dad also said you can invite some of your friends too!”

"Okay, I guess.” Suzume made her way upstairs while Emica sat down on the couch. Once she was in, she took Ellie off her bag and told her, “You can talk now.”

“Finally.” Ellie said, shifting out of her keychain form and stretching her limbs. “What’s all this I hear about a sleepover?”

“Oh yeah, Emica’s having a sleepover, apparently I can invite people too.”

“You should invite the other Cures. It’s important for you guys to stay together.”

“You do realize I have other friends, right?”

“Come on, Suzume, what if another robot attacks you? I’ll invite Stripe and Whisker too.”

“You are the tiny floating elephant version of an overprotective mom.”

“I know.”

Suzume took out her phone and called Airi, as she still hasn’t gotten Aina’s number. Airi picked up rather quickly. “Yeah, hey.”

“Hey Airi! I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night at my place?”

“Really? We barely know each other.”

“Well I can invite whoever I want, and Ell-”

“I’m on speaker.”

“Well, you know, she is super cautious and overprotective, so she wants me to invite you and Aina.”

“What about Noa?”

“Emica invited her.”

“Oh, alright. I’ll tell my parents. When should I come?”

“Don’t care. Maybe come soon, we could do some homework together.”

“Alright, see you!” Airi then hung up.

“Okay, Ellie, why don’t you get the other fairies?” Suzume turned around.

“Okay, I guess.” Ellie answered, floating out the window literally moments before Emica walked in. “Hey Suzu! Who’d you invite?”

“Oh, I invited Airi and I’m gonna invite Aina.”

“Are they like, your only friends all of a sudden?”

Suzume wasn’t quite sure how to answer without giving away her secret. Luckily, the doorbell rang. The sisters went downstairs to answer it. It was Kaede, with a giant bag that was filled with what Suzume thought was probably a mix of homework, pillows, and a bunch of toys, probably Precure related.

“Kaede!” Emica cheered. “Suzu, I call our room!” She ran upstairs, Kaede following, though much slower.

Suzume played on her phone for the next few minutes, but soon enough she heard the doorbell ring. She went to answer it. Aina had arrived, as well as the three fairies. “I did’t call you yet, Aina...”

“Oh, the fairies stopped by.” Aina answered. She pet Stripe, then walked inside.

Eventually, Airi and Noa also came. Once they all finished up their homework, Suzume, Airi, and Aina went into the living room to situate themselves. Noa also followed, despite being invited by Emica.

Emica and Kaede went upstairs. Kaede, sat down on Emica’s bed. “You know what’s up with your sister lately? She’s never hung out with anyone as much as she’s hanging out with Airi and Noa and Aina. They’re always doing something.”

“I know, it’s so weird.” Emica responded. “She rarely even hangs out with me anymore.”

Meanwhile, the Cures began to unpack their bags. Noa seemed to be very secretive about the contents of hers, and Aina noticed. “Noa, is something up?”

“No...”

“You sure?”

“Yeah...”

“What’s in that bag?”

“Nothing. I swear.”

“I’m pretty good with telling these things. Come on Noa, we won’t tease you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Me too!” Aina added.

“I guess I won’t either then.” Suzume said as she fixed her ponytail.

“Okay, fine.” Noa took a doll with pale white skin, dark brown hair in ringlets, big blue painted on eyes, and a knee-length white dress with ruffles and pink bows out of her bag. “This is Bell-chan, I’ve had her since I was three. Please don’t think I’m weird or childish for playing with dolls.”

“It’s not weird at all!” Airi said. “I still sleep with a teddy bear.” she added, gesturing to the stuffed bear on her pillow.”

“Can I do her hair?” Ellie asked.

“Of course!” Noa answered. “Be very careful, though.”

Ellie began to braid Bell-chan’s hair when all of a sudden, footsteps could be heard. All three fairies quickly turned into keychains.

Emica and Kaede marched down the stairs, holding replicas of the Bonheur Wand and Chanceux Sword, respectively. “I am sick and tired of being ignored!” Emica yelled, repeatedly beating the wand on her sister. “Viva la revolution!”

“The real thing hurts more.” Suzume responded, not getting slightly hurt.

“How would you know?”

“Just a guess.”

“Why are you all of a sudden hanging out with these girls though? You never hung out with them before.”

“I... I can’t tell you... uhhh, I don’t know.”

This made Emica really mad, hitting Suzume harder than she thought she could.

“Hey bitch, what was that for?”

“Gotta problem?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Fine, me and Kaede versus you and your new friends. Winner gets... uh... I’ll figure it out later. It’s on.”

“Deal.”

Aina, not wanting to see either party get mad, ripped the wand out of Emica’s hand. She twirled it and showed off the skill she got from fighting with the real thing regularly.

Neither of the sisters were remotely intimidated. They just went at each other directly, no weapons needed.

Airi, Noa, Aina, and Kaede knew that someone could get hurt, and tried their best to break up the fight. Suzume and Emica didn’t stop though, and the fight continued until everyone collapsed on the floor.

It was about 4 a.m. when Airi heard a little knock on one of the windows. She was a relatively light sleeper, and even the smallest noise could cause her to wake up.

She ran up to inspect, and she found a robot. “Goddammit,” she muttered. Just when she was about to wake up the others, another voice came from an open window. “Hello there...”

Airi turned around. It was Yukio, who was controlling the rest of the robots, slowly making them circle the house.

Airi quickly ran to Noa. “Noa! Noa! Noa!”

“What time is it?”

“Who the hell knows?”

“What do you want?”

“There’s an army of robots outside.”

“Okay...”

“Don’t you think we should get rid of them?”

“Ten minutes...”

“We can’t wait ten minutes, Noa.”

Aina, suddenly wide awake, turned to the pair. “Get up, Noa.”

“Fine...”

Now the girls had to wake up Suzume. If Airi was a light seeper, Suzume was the complete opposite. It might take more than 10 minutes to get her up. Unfortunately, there was no such time as more and more robots surrounded them. Of course, the girls had no idea, so they tried to get her up by shaking her, whispering in her ear, and turning on alarms. Eventually, Airi had enough.

“SUZUME!!!!!!! GET YOUR ASS UP BEFORE WE ALL DIE!!!!!!”

Suzume, eyes still closed, partially sat up. “What, Mom?”

Opening her eyes, she realized that the voice, in fact, belonged to Airi. “Oh, Airi, sorry. What?”

Airi said nothing, just pointed out the window. Suzume stumbled to the window, and muttered “Holy fuck, that’s a lot of robots.” under her breath.

“To the circus?” Noa proposed. The other girls nodded. 

“I know a secret exit,” Suzume said. “Follow me.”

The girls made it to the circus, but the robots still managed to follow them. They came outside and silently agreed it was time to transform, and took out their Pikacompacts.

“Magic circus jubilee change!“

“Magic circus parade change!”

“Magic circus cheer change!”

“Magic circus carnival change!”

“For the happiness of the world! The Pretty Cure of beauty and grace! Cure Jubilee!”

“For the happiness of the world! The Pretty Cure of creativity and love! Cure Parade!”

“For the happiness of the world! The Pretty Cure of peace and hope! Cure Cheer!”

“For the happiness of the world! The Pretty Cure of bravery and friendship! Cure Carnival!“

The Cures all smiled and looked at each other before saying, “Together we are Pikapika☆Pretty Cure Under The Big Top!”

The girls began to prepare to fight the robots, but Cure Jubilee noticed something. “The fairies!”

"Go get them,” Carnival responded. I’ve got it for now.” Carnival aimed her two fists at two robots. Yukio, who was still controlling the robots, made them punch back. The metal hurt, but that didn’t stop Cure Carnival. “Bonheur Wand!” Carnival went back at them, hitting the robots with the sharp edges of her wand. Once the robots were clearly incapable of fighting, she moved on.

“Fêtê Ribbon!” Cure Cheer summoned her ribbon. “Pikapika golden tangle!” Cheer tied up five of the robots, then used the ribbon to push them into a nearby building.

Cure Jubilee was also nearby, now with the fairies. “I got them!” she called to Carnival, who was still hitting robots with her wand. Then she turned to another batch of robots. “Listen up, bitches.” she told them. “You really think you’re gonna win this? The Pretty Cures always win.” She jumped down from the roof she was hiding on and she hit a robot’s face. She turned to another, and kicked his face. She kicked the faces of a few more as well.

Cure Parade stood by. To her, it seemed that all the robots were being taken  over by the other girls, and there wasn’t much she could do. Carnival noticed this. “Hey Parade, there’s one robot left, you know.”

She was right. If the Cures looked closer, there was one more robot under Yukio’s control. Since he was the last one left, all of Yukio’s power and energy was being put into this one robot, making him more powerful than all the others.

"You got this one!” Stripe whispered to Cure Parade. 

“Are you sure?” Parade answered. 

“Of course we are! This one is all yours.” Whisker told her.

Parade turned to the robot. “Chanceux Sword!”

She ran up to the robot, sword in hand. Parade lifted it it up, then carefully aimed it at the robot. Just a moment later, the robot had Parade by the neck, before she could even use the sword. Cure Parade kicked and kicked and kicked, before realizing this did nothing. “Wait a second!” She said to herself. The robot had her neck, her arms were still free. Parade could still stab the robot. She held the sword carefully, aimed, and when the robot wasn’t looking, she stabbed and broke him. Then she could finally break free and finish what the robots started.

"Félicité Bow!” Jubilee summoned her weapon, being the last Cure to do so. All the girls held their weapons in the air. “Pretty Cure Cirque Charge!” The girls then made their way back to the house and detransformed. It was only five in the morning, there was still time to get some sleep.

The next morning, Emica and Kaede woke up and grabbed some yogurt, but the Cures were obviously very tired. Suzume stumbled to the breakfast table and sat next to her sister. “Emica, I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Suzu.” Emica answered. “Could you try to spend more time with me though?”

“I’ll try.”

After breakfast, Emica sat down in her bed. I’ll try? Sure she will. Suzume and all her new friends were super tired in the morning. This doesn’t just happen normally.

Something fishy is definitely going on.

[avengersassemble-fics]

Stark’s Girl

part 012/?? “something new”

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 3.2k

The world post-blip saw a lot of changes. And with you being out of the loop already, there were some important changes you wanted to make sure you didn’t forget.

Natasha became the backbone of the Avengers (though some including you would argue she always had been.) She was the one who stayed at the Compound and worked through the intel she received from the team who was not only spread out over the world, but in space. Yeah you were still getting used to that too.

Steve wasn’t in the game anymore. Not as much, really. He was still Captain America (he’d always be Captain America), but he took a more direct approach with helping people. The last you knew he was running a help group in the city for those who needed the support.

Tony did something that changed your life along with his. He started his own family. A few months after the snap, he was walking by your side through Central Park when he broke the news to you that Pepper and him were going through with the weeding in two weeks. You were shocked, but happy of course.

“We just don’t want to wait anymore,” Tony told you. “Can’t ask her to wait forever on me.”

It was beautiful. Like you pointed out before, Tony liked to be dramatic. But you couldn’t help but shed a tear at seeing your new sister-in-law come down the aisle. Their vows were very much themselves, shared jokes that only they understood (something about 12% Tony told her at the altar.) The only downside to their wedding was going stag, and also having to see Steve there.

Ever since you were hit with the memories of what happened the night of your parents crash, you had these moments of, for lack of a better phrase, pure unfiltered anger. Though those moments were far and few now that you were back to a “normal” life (as normal as this could be) you still found yourself zoning out on occasion. And that wasn’t safe. You couldn’t help but swirl the flute of champagne around as your mind drifted off to your last episode.

It was night time, on a full moon no less. The air had a slight chill to it, enough to where you could see the hot breath of air released from your victim. They ran, jumping over the foliage that covered the ground. They were frantic, which made this easier for you. You moved slowly as they tripped over a branch, sliding across the cold ground as you towered over them. The woman cried out, crawling over the leaves scattered over the ground. She didn’t turn to face you until you came to a stop at her feet. You didn’t even recognize the tears in her eyes.

“Пожалуйста,” (Please) she begged you. Your dead set eyes didn’t budge as she pushed herself up to a seated position. “Почему вы это делаете?” (Why are you doing this?)

You clenched your fist by your side, the anger coming up to a boil. “Ты меня не помнишь?” (You don’t remember me?) She shook her head and your eye twitched. You crouched down to look her in the eye and tilted your head. “Ты сказал мне, что поможешь мне почувствовать себя лучше ... И что моя семья идет за мной.” (You told me you’d help me feel better.. And that my family was coming for me.)

Something registered over her face. Fear. Recognition. It all laced together in a paled look on her face.

You stood again as she began to cry. You heard her pleas as you moved behind her, pulling the rope from your hip. Your gloved hands wrapped both ends over your knuckle so it was tight, and in a snap pulled it over her neck. She gasped and writhed under the pressure, but you never once flinched. You never felt her body stop, or her breaths for that matter, and didn’t snap out of it until you were in the shower. You were just standing under the water, which was laced with red, mumbling to yourself.

“I hope you remember them.”

A hand came down on your shoulder. You did your best to hide your jump, but Tony noticed. He didn’t say anything, but he did see it. He gave you a squeeze and you reached your free hand up to place over it. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” you told him. You could see Pepper through the dancing crowd, and you smiled a bit. “You should be dancing with your wife.”

“And you should be enjoying yourself,” Tony replied.

“I will when you do,” you poked at him. He gave your hand a kiss before disappearing past the bodies. You rubbed at your neck and set your drink down at the table before playing with the fabric of your dress. The one slit up your leg was a good choice on Natasha’s part. But it all felt too stuffy. Beautiful lilac color, but just a little too tight around your--

“Didn’t come with anyone?” an all too familiar voice asked you. You flattened the fabric back down and let out a little sigh.

“I don’t really.. Know anyone who wasn’t already coming,” you said. Steve stood before you in a dark suit and lacked the black striped tie he was wearing earlier. He nodded but you shrugged. “I just met Wong though. He’s nice.”

“Yeah he is,” Steve replied. You noticed the song change, something a little slower paced. The lights dimmed down a bit and you shifted a bit in your seat. “Would you like to dance?”

You thought it over for a moment. It seemed like the dance floor was packed, barely anyone was left amongst the tables, and you rubbed your arm. “I don’t really know how to..”

There was a hint of a smile, enough to make your stomach twist, and he offered his hand to you. “Lucky for you I’m a professional.”

You bit back a smile, and slowly placed your hand in his. Steve helped you stand and he led you out to the floor. There was enough space for the two of you, and he turned back to face you. The hand that engulfed yours tightened a bit, his fingers gently grazed over the back of your hand. Your other hand floated over his arm and rested on his shoulder, and you felt his other hand on your waist.

Steve led, taking a step to the side and you followed. You were closer than you would have preferred, but with a glance around the room the lack of space seemed standard. You felt like you were gliding across the floor and you looked back at your partner. “I had no idea you had such a talent.”

“Ah well I had promised Nat I would be prepared the next time I asked someone to dance,” he explained. Steve suddenly removed his hand from your waist and twirled you around. When you met his gaze again you had a raised brow, and when he pulled you back into him you laughed a bit.

“Kudos to her then,” you said barely above a whisper. You felt his fingers seem to rub against your side, and then he spoke softly.

“I would do anything for my best gal.”

There were some more changes that quickly followed within that year.

Tony really started a family. Pepper gave birth to the cutest little girl, and they ended up naming her Morgan. Who had known such a small thing could make you feel so much? You fell in love with her as soon as Tony placed her in your arms. He was teary eyed as he reached out and stroked his finger over her chubby cheek.

You knew he would do anything for this girl. And you were right behind him on that.

It was actually at her first birthday party (though this was more a party for the adults then her) was the next time you saw Steve and Natasha. Her hair was grown out, the fiery red tint mixing in with the previous white dye job. You could see the bags under her eyes and the tension in her shoulders, but after a few drinks she was much more relaxed. Pepper had put Morgan down for a nap, which left Tony, Nat, and you all mingling in a circle while Steve kept his distance.

You were grateful not to have eyes on the back of your head, but you could feel Steve’s burning into you. Tony seemingly got distracted by Pepper, excusing himself from the small and intimate group to aid his wife. Natasha glanced at you from the corner of her eye, taking a sip of the beer in her hand. “So what are you doing nowadays?”

“Besides the occasional diaper change?.. Not much. It’s quiet out here.”

It was true. Tony and Pepper relocated to a cabin outside of the city and the hustle and bustle. You loved Tony, loved being around them both, but you couldn’t help but feel out of place. Or like a bother even. This was Tony’s time to connect to his new family, and you couldn’t help but feel you were intruding. While your thoughts wandered off, Natasha nodded a bit, resting her closest arm to you on the back of the couch, shifting a bit to face you better. “If you wanted.. I could always use your help back at the Compound.”

You glanced back the way Tony had disappeared back into their home. You knew by the way you described it that it was his, not yours, and slowly you nodded. Before you spoke you could see Steve almost smile a bit to himself before turning his back to you. “I.. I think that would be good.”

It’s been four years since the Snap. That was really all the biggest changes you had experienced or felt you needed to catch people up on. Breaking the news to Tony that you were moving back to New York and going back to work with Natasha was a bitter pill for him to swallow, but you reassured him you’d be fine. You needed something to focus your mind on, and he understood for the most part. There was a moment though that made you nearly back out, and Tony had definitely caught it that time.

Something had played on tv that night as you helped Tony wash the dinner dishes. Morgan should’ve been in bed by then, Pepper probably waiting for Tony to join her, but Tony truly hadn’t adjusted to using normal appliances. He set off the faucet spray three times, which was two less than last week, so you took over washing duties while he dried. You had only caught a notion of what was being said on the television, but the news anchor speaking made you stop. Tony was chatting next to you, but you turned around to look at the television, only to see the flash of the story playing.

There was a body found in the woods in Russia of a woman in her mid fifties, who was strangled to death with what was identified as rope found nearby. The area was clean of any evidence, especially given how long the body was out there before hunting season started and a couple happened upon it, but it could be linked to three other murders reported on in the last 6 years. You don’t know what happened, but Tony placing his hand on your shoulder was what set you off.

The emptiness that would swallow your mind fell upon you like a curtain closing on a play. Tony would later tell you that the light in your eyes disappeared, and it was as if you didn’t know him. He said that you had very successfully removed his hand from you and shoved him back in the cabinets, rattling the dishes inside. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt him, but it was enough to stun him for a few moments and give you time to desperately escape.

Tony said it took him a few moments to regain his composure, but the worry he felt propelled him out the cabin and out of earshot of Pepper’s calls for him. He wasn’t far behind you, and his calls of your name resulted in nothing but quick looks back at him, but one thing was clear to him: you weren’t okay. The next thing you remembered was something hitting your shoulder in a small jolt, which later Tony confirmed was a shock from his watch (still in testing), and him hovering over you in the darkness.

It was enough to make him concerned about you going through with your decision to rejoin Natasha. But for you it was enough to solidify your decision.

“Tony I don’t want to.. Do that around Morgan,” you whispered to him, careful with your words. “Besides you need this time with them. And I’m sure Pepper needs you more right now.”

“I can’t knowingly let you leave without even knowing what the hell is going on with you,” Tony whispered yelled at you. “You’ve avoided this conversation for two weeks, can’t you tell me what’s going on?”

You narrowed your glare at him but he only matched you. After a few seconds you grumbled in surrender and rested the last piece of clothing you were folding and walked towards the back door. Tony carefully placed Morgan into the low crib before following you outside. You face the lake, the breeze pushing past you and into the house  in a cool breeze, and Tony came up by your side and rested his hip against the railing.

“Talk to me,” he urged you. You sighed and finally faced him, resting your hip as well on the railing.

“After learning the truth I’ve been having these.. Episodes,” you told him. “It’s like a blanket falls over me and I can’t find my way out of it until something else pulls it off. And by that time I’m not where I remember I was. Time has passed, something has happened.”

“How many times has this happened?”

“Last time made five,” you admitted guiltily. “I don’t know what causes it, or how to stop it.. But being busy, keeping my mind on track, seems to help the most.”

Tony thought your words over, before nodding to himself and looking out to the lake. You followed his lead and looked back out to the setting sun, the breeze and chirps of birds lulling the silence, before Tony spoke again.

“If you go you have to check in with me,” Tony compromised. “I’m going to make sure FRIDAY sends me updates on your brain waves, try and figure out what triggers it if it happens again.”

You smiled to yourself and linked your arm through his and came to rest your head against his shoulder. “You’re truly the best brother I could’ve asked for.”

Tony let out a pfft noise, before lifting his arm to wrap around your shoulder. He placed a chaste kiss to your forehead as you both stared out at the lake. “We’ll get through this together.”

Tony wouldn’t admit this to anyone, especially you, but after you departed for the city he made a house call a few days later. Tony stood before the apartment door unsure if this was the best idea, and ready to flee if no one came in 10 more seconds. But when he heard the footsteps on the other side he let out a sigh and mumbled to himself. “This is for her sake Tony.”

The door opened to reveal his former friend. Steve Rogers looked nearly the same as the last time he saw him at Morgan’s party (which he was only invited to because of Pepper and Natasha.) Full beard, tired eyes, and a surprised expression. “Tony?”

Tony motioned between the two of them with the glasses he pulled off while waiting. “We need to talk.”

Steve took a moment to think it over before nodding and stepping aside for Tony to enter. Tony carefully took a step in, taking in the environment and really noticing how.. Empty it all felt. Steve closed and latched the door behind his guest, which made Tony look back at him. “Should maybe leave that unlocked in case anything happens.”

“I don’t think that would be necessary,” Steve replied. But either way he unlocked the latch before looking back at Tony. “But if it makes you more comfortable.”

“It was more for you then for me,” Tony replied back. Steve smiled a bit and nodded, and Tony tapped his hand with his glasses. “Gotta say the place hasn’t come along that much since you showed Pepper the photos.”

“You saw those?” Steve asked and Tony shrugged. Steve looked around and sighed a bit. “Was never planning on settling down here, but things change.”

Tony wondered if the sentiment was in regards to his sister. More than likely it was but he chose to ignore it. He didn’t even want to think about the unsettling feeling he had when he thought about how Steve handled things all those years ago. “I wanted to come and talk to you about something.. Personal.”

Steve raised a brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes and no,” Tony sighed. He sat himself down on the couch in Steve’s plainly decorated living room, and unbuttoned his jacket in the process. “Not sure if you are aware given you aren’t in the game anymore, but Natasha invited my sister back to the Compound.. And she said yes.”

“Natasha may have mentioned it,” Steve carefully said.

“Figured as much, “ Tony replied. “Which is great, fine with me. I know she’s been feeling stuck recently.. But something happened a couple weeks ago.”

Steve’s posture changed and it unsettled Tony. But he had to push that aside for now. This wasn’t about him and his feelings. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know,” Tony answered in almost a whisper. Steve’s face visibly fell in a frown and concern. “She’s apparently been experiencing black outs. Aggression. I don’t know how to help her from so far away.. So I came to ask a favor.”

Steve nodded and took a step closer. “Whatever you need Tony.”

“Check in on her will you? But not in a prying way so she thinks I set you up to it.. Be a friend, “ Tony asked. Steve nodded and Tony stood, smoothing his clothes again. “Just please.. Let me know if something happens.”

“I promise,” Steve told him. He led Tony back to the door, opening it for him to exit. But Tony stopped after making it out to the hallway and turned back around pointing a finger at Steve’s chest.

“So help me Rogers.. Don’t go and mess with her feelings again or I will come here and finish what we started in Siberia.”

Steve didn’t even get a chance to respond before Tony slid his glasses back on and disappeared back towards the stairs. Instead Steve shut his door and stood there for a moment to think to himself. He was going to make sure he made it up not only to Tony, but to you. 

This would be the start of something new.

- - - - - - - - - -

messy rushed taglist

@elliee1497 @iizabxlla @bulbasor-charmander-2020 @littlemoistcarrot @meraki–mei @littledaph @fckdusername @bisexuwhale9669 @mottergirl99 @vxidnik @anabutnotpro @ilovesupersoldiers @incorrect-artist @caseymcflurry @robindoesntloveme @cherryara @fightforspring @annetries @petlaufeyson @weasleyisourjedi @loganrwebb @marinettepotterandplagg @snarky–starky @emotionalcal @feelmyroarrrr @chewymoustachio @cass4nova @holy-rosewater @natdrunk @botchedzucchini @booksarebae2000​ @chelseaxaz

[johnboothus]

VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall?

In any other year, the coming of fall might prompt bars to start making some changes: Replacing some tequila and rum cocktails with an extra whiskey or Cognac drink, making sure that they’re fully staffed for college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays, and otherwise preparing for a different, but still successful, season from summer. This year, however, bars and restaurants that have managed to survive the Covid-19 crisis — thanks in part to expanded outdoor seating capacity — will no longer have that lifeline.

What bars will do to survive the season is a concern among drinks professionals and enthusiasts nationwide. Can bars and restaurants expand delivery and takeout options through the fall? Will screening football games outside convince fans to come out and buy some beers while braving the outdoors? Should these businesses all buy a bunch of heat lamps and hope for the best? That’s what Adam, Erica, and Zach discuss on this week’s episode of the VinePair Podcast — now recommended by The New York Times.

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OR CHECK OUT OUR CONVERSATION HERE

Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Erica: From Connecticut, I’m Erica Duecy.

Zach: And in Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the VinePair Podcast. I’m back from vacation! You guys did an OK job last week, but I’m glad to be back holding it down as the third. I know the listeners missed me. You guys, it’s OK, I’m back. You’re welcome. I know you guys missed me, right?

Z: We need The New York Times approved-formula, so yes.

E: Yes, exactly.

A: For those that did not already see the paper of record, we were listed as one of the seven podcasts that you need to listen to if you’re interested in the world of drinks. It would have been cooler if they said we were the only. Just kidding, I like the other six, too. It was a run yesterday and it’ll be in print on Sunday. Before we jump into everything, a word from this week’s sponsor. Everyone, this is your last chance to enter to win a $1,000 cash stipend and all you have to do is make a Cognac cocktail. Cognac USA, Speedrack, and VinePair are thrilled to offer 10 $1,000 cash stipend prizes exclusively for bartenders. All you have to do — and I know there are bartenders that listen to this, so this is all you have to do — you have to enter by simply creating an original Cognac cocktail, then you visit cognacconnection.com, again that’s cognacconnection.com, for the details and to enter your cocktail recipe. Then, we are going to pick 10 recipes, and some people are going to win. It’s super easy, the deadline Sept. 7. Get it in. Enter your cocktail. Zach, tell your people. Erica, tell your people. Let’s make awesome Cognac cocktails. Let’s change people’s perception when it comes to Cognac. It’s delicious in cocktails, everybody knows this, or everyone should know this. So if you have a great Cognac cocktail just make it and then enter it at cognacconnection.com. And with that, what’s going on?

E: I will say that my favorite part of The New York Times article was the recognition that we have “enjoyably strong opinions.”

Z: I’m going to make an enjoyably strong Cognac cocktail.

A: Cognac cocktails are delicious. First of all, I think I did a really awesome riff on that ad read. I just want you guys to know I’m very pleased with myself on this one. I think Cognac is delicious in cocktails. It’s an often forgotten spirit for a lot of people, although it’s having a massive resurgence; the amount of people consuming Cognac in quarantine is insane. If you look at any of the Neilsen data it’s incredible what is happening there. People love Cognac, and you should be drinking it in cocktails. And if you want to make cocktails you should as well.

Z: I told this to Erica and she told me all she wants is a snifter of Cognac by the fire.

E: I drink it straight. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a Sidecar. I like a Vieux-Carré. There’s a lot of good cocktails out there, but I’m a purist when it comes to Cognac, Armagnac, or Calvados. Those are my savoring spirits. Those are the ones I like plain.

A: I like them plain as well. I like sipping them. There’s something that feels very refined about it, you feel like a real adult. If that makes sense?

E: It kind of does. It feels contemplative.

Z: I can’t tell if it feels more like I’m an adult or more like I’m a plutocrat, which isn’t necessarily something I’m going for.

A: I think you’d make a good plutocrat.

Z: Well, I’m going to move on because I don’t want to know why that is.

A: So anyway, how was your week with a break from me? Was it good? Did you enjoy it? Were you like, “Let’s not tell Adam we’re recording today?”

E: I have to say we missed the dynamic of the three. I do think that three is the perfect formula in this particular cocktail.

Z: Equal parts Erica?

E: Equal parts, although I will say there is occasionally a dominant flavor.

A: You’re talking about Zach right?

Z: That’s just because I edit them this way. I guess we’re like a Negroni I suppose. That’s a good way to describe us.

A: The way a classic Negroni should be made.

Z: This raises the question: Who is the Campari, who is the gin, and who is the vermouth?

E: I call the Campari.

A: Fine, then I’m gin.

Z: Alright I’ll be the vermouth, that’s fine.

A: I don’t think that suits your personality though.

Z: You have lots of opinions about my personality. What am I then? Am I like amaro, are we going with a dark Negroni here?

A: You’re amaro, that works.

E: That does work.

Z: Alright.

A: You know where I got to go to on vacation, on our way back from Virginia we stopped in Lancaster, which we wrote about recently. I went to Luca and they have one of the best amaro lists on the East Coast and I have to say, it was awesome. It felt really good to support another restaurant that we’ve written about before. It was also really cool to finally see in person this list. It was super deep, really geeky, it was really cool. Lancaster is a million-in-population city in Pennsylvania but it’s not like San Francisco, L.A., or New York where amaro has become super geeky and people are really into it. And I asked if people were into the list and how often they order it and he said all the time. Once they interested people to it then they wanted to come back and explore, which I thought was really cool. And it was a testament to that if you do things and you educate the guests about what it is on the list, and why they should be potentially interested in it in an accessible way, and you make it feel fun for them, then they’ll come back and keep ordering it and trying it, because you didn’t make it feel intimidating. They’re very cool, and I thought it was an awesome list.

Z: That’s awesome.

E: What was the scene like there? Was it indoor and outdoor dining, or just outdoor?

A: So it was really interesting because I’m used to only dining in New York — I don’t know, Erica, if it’s different in Jersey, and Zach you have to tell us what it’s like in Seattle — in New York, it’s just outdoor, so you make a reservation, and you sit down. In Pennsylvania, you make the reservation, then you have to text them when you get there, and you have to sit in your car with your party. And I thought this might have just been a Luca thing, but then my mother-in-law was telling me that it is at a lot of restaurants in the area. So they text you when your table’s ready and we wanted to be outside — they do have indoor but we did not want to be indoor. I think New York has made me feel like indoor isn’t OK, even though I know that everyone is doing it, so I was like “we’re outdoor.” So you show up and they take every single person’s temperature and they ask for every single person’s name and phone number. So they’re actually doing contact tracing, which I thought was really interesting and a little weird obviously to do right before you sit down for dinner. But it was actually my father-in-law’s first time dining out since the pandemic, and it made him feel really comfortable. They have it down, they are checking people, and then the tables were really well spaced. Very similar to New York, they let them extend their patios so they had a front patio and tables on the sidewalk and even some in the street. So the city is being very liberal in terms of trying to let restaurants make up as much square footage as possible. They also had very clear call-outs on their menu, which I also hadn’t seen before that said “we really love having you back, we’re really happy to be back. Please understand we are not at full capacity. This is not enough for us to sustain ourselves. Please continue to order takeout when you can.” Which I thought was really a smart move on their part. And they were definitely a skeleton crew, just like everywhere else I’ve been, they’re not at full staff power. The dishes came out slower than they normally would be. We were all OK with it, we understood, and we rolled with it, and it was fine. But you do hear stories about people who weren’t. But then I had a really crazy experience.

E: Do tell.

Z: Tell us, please.

A: The next night I was still in Pennsylvania and one of my good friends, Lenna, is from the area, not from Lancaster and that’s not how we knew her, we met her in New York. But she’s from the area, and her parents own a diner in York, and her uncle owns a really well-known seafood restaurant called Kyma right outside of Lancaster. It’s a really beautiful seafood restaurant, and he has a steakhouse right next door. So they asked if we wanted to go to his restaurant. He loves VinePair, so we went to the restaurant and we sat outside. And this guy shows up in this really nice car. It was a European import, he gets out not wearing a mask, and he goes to the hostess stand and I see him confront the hostess. She’s like, “I’m sorry sir, we can’t seat you unless you’re wearing a mask. It’s not only state policy, it’s our policy.” And he’s like, “I want to speak to the owner. Who’s the owner?” And he sees that next door the steakhouse is named Johnny’s which actually is named after the owner’s father. The owner walks over, Lenna’s uncle, and says, “I’m Johnny.” And he just gets in his face and starts screaming at him like, “How dare you make me wear a mask, this is fascism” It was really crazy to watch. Then when it’s all over, Nick, who’s Lenna’s uncle, comes over to the table, and I asked how often that happens, and he was like, “You’d be shocked.” And I have to say, for everything else that everyone in the industry is going through, the thought that you have to deal with that was just really upsetting. That there’s these people that don’t want to follow the rules and just want to scream in your face and make you feel like a jerk — and then all he did was just get in his car with his passenger who was sitting in the car, almost like they knew this was what was going to happen and drove away. They just came out to yell at somebody about a restriction that they don’t agree with that is keeping everyone safe and is helping keep numbers down and drove away with no intention of probably ever dining there. I almost wonder if they were just driving around looking for a restaurant that looked full, which was packed on a Sunday evening, and were just looking to scream at somebody. And it’s just really f***** up and really upsetting. Which takes us into our conversation about this fall.

E: Oh, the fall.

Z: It’s funny, I was just thinking about how the challenges that we’re going through, and I’m sure we’ll get to this in a moment. For now, we’re in this period of time where things are — even in the case of the restaurant you mentioned, Adam — with things on the menu, it looks vaguely sustainable. You have all this added seating capacity outdoors, you have the ability for people to sprawl into the streets in some cases, but none of this can last, and I think that that screaming match is one piece of the problem. But most of this is that we don’t have a comprehensive plan for restaurants and bars that’s going to work for fall and winter. That’s not going to offer, for most people and places, a lot of options.

E: It’s a situation where it’s like: Yes, it’s raining or snowing. OK, there’s no restaurants then. At least in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut, where I’ve been all summer, outdoor is the only allowed type of dining; there is no indoor dining. So there’s really just very few options for any kind of restaurant or bar operations to be happening at all once the weather starts to turn.

A: I think it’s going to be really crazy. It’s going to totally depend on what happens as the weather turns and how we’re going to adjust for all these restaurants. I think there has been a much larger growing cry in New York City for there to finally be indoor dining opening up. I think for some restaurants, they’ll have at least some revenue from that, but it’s also not going to be enough. Or we have to lax restrictions on outdoor heating lamps, which I didn’t realize a lot of people have banned because of fire code, which makes sense in a lot of ways. But maybe we need to lax that fire code for now. I’m not educated enough to know how much of a fire risk they are, so I don’t want to sound ignorant by saying, “We need to completely lax that restriction,” if maybe those things always catch on fire, and they’re crazy fire hazards. But if they’re not, and we just have them because they’re a heat-producing source, and it’s just within the code to normally restrict them, we need to make those easy. Because people will sit outside still because they’re eager to be out of their homes in November, or even early December, if there are heat lamps. But they’re not going to if they have to freeze.

Z: And I think the other problem we come across is this unfortunate, really brutal truth, which is the more you make a place comfortable, the more you make it feel more like indoors, the less safe it is from a Covid standpoint. If you put a tarp over some sort of another canopy over the top to keep the rain out, well now you’re not getting the same benefit of airflow that you’re getting outdoors during the summer. You start to put up things to keep wind and even possibly rain out on the sides, again now you’re just putting people in a tent, which isn’t safe. And so heat is a part of it, but the reality is that in most parts of this country, for a good portion of the late fall and winter and early spring, there’s just not going to be a safe way to dine out from a Covid standpoint. Or at least if you do it’s going to have to be at the same low kind of density as is possible in most places where indoor dining is permitted. Again, I think we’re at this point where we’ve bought ourselves some time as an industry with it being summer but I haven’t yet seen an answer, I haven’t yet seen a solution that looks like it will even allow for a lot of the places that are open now to make it through November, December, January, and February without having to shut down.

E: I haven’t seen any updates on bailout money or any other support for restaurants and bars. It just seems to have gotten into the muddy mess of what’s happening with the bigger funding picture. There seem to be no developments at all. We’re just starting to see the next wave of closures coming down the pike as restaurateurs and bars are just realizing: Until there’s a vaccine, there’s probably not going to be many very good options.

A: I think it’s crazy because we don’t have enough in terms of clarity from the government as to what they’re going to do, and I think really the only thing that we can hope for right now is that the government is also going to step up. I know there’s a bunch of people who are starting to make even more noise than they were in the past about getting government assistance and trying to sound the alarm, but I think we need more of that. We need more people being loud about what’s going to happen if we get into fall and a lot of restaurants aren’t able to operate at close to normal capacity. And if that’s the case and aren’t going to get government assistance, we’re going to lose a lot of jobs. And if we lose a lot of jobs, we’re going to have a lot of issues with people being out of work and an economy that isn’t able to bounce back as quickly. That’s what I don’t understand, how we don’t understand that as a country. Part of us getting out of this means that there’s less people unemployed when it all ends. If there are more people unemployed it takes longer for those people. There’s also not going to be all of a sudden ton of people eager to open brand new restaurants: “I’ve had this amazing three-Michelin-star concept I’ve always been dying to open.”

Z: One of the big questions that I have is if we think this next wave of closures is coming or has already begun and will only intensify as the weather worsens — there still will be demand in the general population for some kind of food and drinks that they don’t make it home, and I’m wondering, I don’t know that anyone has a great handle yet on what all that means. We certainly talked about the desire for more accessibility for people to get wine, beer, and spirits direct-to-consumer sent to their house, but I think one of the questions I have is are we going to have a new idea of what food and beverage services in a community? I have a few thoughts of my own, but I’m curious if you guys have any thoughts on that?

A: The thing for me that could be interesting about the fall is I’m really curious to see — first of all, we don’t know what’s happening with sports. Again, what is happening in this country is absolutely despicable in terms of what just happened in Wisconsin. And with the Milwaukee Bucks, when we’re recording this on Thursday, Aug. 27, deciding not to play and the NBA season remaining in don’t, who knows? But all signs do point that we’re going to have football this fall. And we do know that across the board — even though we’ve had NBA, we’ve had Major League Baseball, but I’m going to go on record and say that baseball is super boring. We have Major League Soccer, etc. — those are sports that, for the most part, people really don’t think about gathering together in bars in the same way. I think in certain cities, there’s a little bit of the culture, but in the same way as with football: Both with college, which has three major conferences that are saying they are still going to play, and then the NFL that is saying it is going to play no matter what. It can because it makes so much money, so they will pay the players to convince them to play. That I’m curious about, because I do wonder if we’re going to start to see certain places get creative with how they still broadcast those games. As much as more people are watching sports at home, there is a culture in every city where these sports exist that people like to go to a bar or gastropub for the entire day of Sunday and eat bar food and drink. And you cannot replicate that in the same way at home and I wonder if we’ll start seeing people put projectors outside, trying as best as they can to recreate that in some way to bring people in. That will be very interesting to me.

E: I think we are going to see more of that both at bars with outdoor spaces but also in people’s backyards and parks and so forth. I’ve already seen — and this may just be my friend set, which is the friend set with children — but a lot of people are investing in outdoor projectors that you can project against your wall and have movie screenings and sporting events. We have the US Open coming up, and the Kentucky Derby on Sept. 5. I think these small gatherings at home, and I’m resistant to call them parties, but we had a big conversation about how we were going to cover the Kentucky Derby this year. Were we going to suggest that people have big parties or go to any events? We couldn’t really find any that were happening, and we aren’t comfortable saying to have a party, but we are going to put together something saying how to put together a Kentucky Derby gathering at your house for a small set of friends. Because I think people are looking for entertainment, they want to have reasons to come together, and making Mint Juleps while you watch a horse race is as good as any. And that’s just a tradition we have in this country. So whether it’s the NBA, NFL, golf, or tennis, people have this need of wanting to come together, and that’s not going to stop. So what does that mean? Does it mean it’s happening in yards and parks? Does it mean we’re going to have speakeasy-type gatherings happening at bars that aren’t totally licensed? I don’t know. But I think it’s going to happen, regardless.

Z: There’s no doubt. I think that is a really great point that the desire for congregating around these events is going to be hugely impactful. But I feel like one thing that could be part of this, too — in the same way that Adam was talking about the idea of spending a whole Sunday at a bar watching the games — I’m wondering if that might not be an option, and what if you’re a bar or restaurant that’s like “we’re going to give you three deliveries throughout the day.” One of the big things for me when I do that is that you would get your wings to start and nachos and burger — then you die because that’s a horrible day of dining, but I was 23. I feel like finding ways to figure offerings and beverage offerings around what people are already doing could relocate to your house. I’m thinking out loud here, so I apologize, but I think part of it is finding ways that we can deal with unusual circumstances with a little bit of normalcy would be a really good business idea.

A: I think so. Trying to figure out as best you can how you make it feel normal for people is really big. And people figured this out this summer, too. I think we thought, what is the summer going to be like, is it going to be the same? And I think for a lot of people it felt like summer. It hasn’t felt like the summer of 2019 or the term summer prior to that but it still felt like summer and I think it will still feel like fall if people get creative. You know how I feel about this, even though Keith (for those that listen to the Wine 101 podcast) defamed me this week. I do not like pumpkin spice, even though he said I did; pumpkin spice is going to continue to come out. People are still going to start playing with fall flavors. We’re all going to start drinking cocktails that have whiskey and Cognac and things like that. That’s going to happen again just like it happened in the summer. I think I feel more confident about that than I did three months ago because we hadn’t had a transition from Covid into a new season. We all went into Covid in this weird winter-ish spring-ish lull and all we did was pantry-load and bake sourdough and put on the Covid-19 and stock up on as much alcohol as possible. But then we transitioned into summer and it started to feel like summer and I think the same is going to happen in fall, which is going to be weird but could be interesting, especially if we allow some of these laws to stay relaxed so that restaurants can take advantage of that weird yet similar transition.

E: One of my biggest concerns is we have restaurants closed, we have bars closed, and going into fall what is it that we at VinePair, that we as professionals can help consumers do? The thing that I keep on coming back to is this question of discovery. There have been massive spikes for all the big brands like Josh Cellars and Casamigos and Bud Light on all of the ordering platforms but the thing that we still haven’t solved for yet — because bars and restaurants are closed — is how do you help consumers discover smaller brands, whether it’s wine, beer, or spirits? That element of discovery is something that we are going to lean into this fall at VinePair and just help people find these smaller brands. I feel like if we don’t do our part in trying to help consumers find these smaller brands there’s going to be even more of these companies that close. For example, one of the things that we’re doing is the “$250 Case Challenge” where we’re asking somms and wine professionals to put together an entire 12 bottle case for $250 of the best bottles they can curate from a national retailer. Do you guys know Philippe André, the brand ambassador at Charles Heidsieck? He’s amazing and a totally hilarious, cool guy. He accepted our challenge. We are just going to go from national retailer to national retailer and put together the best case you can find. At first, he was like, “you’re crazy,” but eventually, he did it and figured out the best 12 bottles I can buy for that total amount. And he’s recommending some amazing bottles, and that’s going to come out about a week from now. We’re going to go from retailer to retailer because I think one of the key things that frustrate me and other wine buyers I know is “how do I buy it?” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard from listeners and readers they’re psyched to try this thing we recommended, but they can’t find it online. And the existing platforms that are out there are not great, so as a consumer I think it’s especially frustrating to buy wine online. And we’re not a retailer, but we can help consumers by telling them about cool bottles they can buy online. I think helping to solve that through a variety of articles that we’re doing — we have a cool one coming out about limited-edition whiskey releases — will lead to a better fall for a lot of people that are going to be stuck inside and bored and they want to be buying the same crap that they’re buying on Wine.com all the time.

Z: I was just going to say that. I think that Erica’s point is a really good one, and it feeds back into this problem that we’re going to be facing with restaurants being much less able to be that point of discovery. It’s already been greatly diminished because of Covid and then maybe has been floating along with outdoor dining. Maybe you can get introduced to some new things in that capacity but that’s why all these conversations feed into and of one another in that were facing a crisis of consolidation in the industry where so much of the purchasing, especially in times like this, is run through a few narrow channels and those channels are dominated by large brands and distributors and I’m excited to hear that we’re interested in continuing to try to provide people with some alternatives or at least if you’re going to work within those big national channels giving some options that are not the stayed set of options that dominant those shelves. I think it’s very true that there’s a lot of desire for people to continue to discover and maybe bring those gatherings around a sporting event or other events from listeners to showcase to your friends some of the things that you have discovered. Whether with our help or someone else’s help, there’s possibility here, but it’s going to take work.

A: You know where to reach us: podcast@vinepair.com. You can tell us what you have been drinking. The fall is going to be very interesting. I think we’re going to see how everything evolves and will continue to discover new things; in the summer I think we saw that they did. People turned back to old cocktails they maybe haven’t made in a while. We also saw that people made new cocktails. We saw that people jumped on board with different kinds of wines, and I think that discovery hopefully will continue, and hopefully people will find it easier to do with new tools like our new column that Erica said we’re launching. Because I think we have to go into the fall as positive as possible otherwise it’s just going to be all doom and gloom of “we had these three months of sunshine and warmth and everyone going to the beach and now we’re back to those months in Covid” and I hope we can go in as positive as possible, especially because this election season is going to be brutal.

Z: Yeah there’s enough negativity that’s going to be out there.

A: It’s going to be brutal. If we can, then hopefully we can make it out of this thing as soon as possible, and I think we all have to be advocates for restaurants and bars that are struggling. Try to help them as much as you can. Talk to your lawmakers, encourage them to set up funding for them, because if not, people are going to get desperate. I’m from a college town, and I’ve seen recently that the college that I’m from has opened back up, and I’m nervous about it, because my parents are still down there — even though they’re retired from being professors — but the one bar over the weekend was packed. Way over capacity, and I don’t want to think the bar owner is a bad actor, I just want to think at this point they’re just desperate. They need to make money, and no one else is helping them. It’s a lot easier to follow the regulations if people are helping you and no one is really reaching out so help as much as you can because if not it’s not going to be a beautiful lovely fall.

E: I was looking at the State Liquor Authority for New York, and already 162 business’ liquor licenses have been suspended. There’s been like 900 other violations, and I think that for the operators that are open, they’re really desperate. And if you look at the list of violations, it’s for indoor bar service, walk-up service, no mask enforcement, people not socially distanced, operators are doing what they can to stay afloat, and sometimes that means they are taking chances that maybe they shouldn’t be, but it’s a desperate situation.

A: It is. And this is totally off topic, but one of my other pet peeves is when your server comes to your table, put your f***ing mask on. I’ve seen so many servers that I’m friends with saying at this point it’s ridiculous. They’re wearing theirs to protect you, you should wear yours to protect them. I get it if they surprise you out of nowhere, fine, but when you’re ready to order put your f***ing mask on. Show them the same courtesy that they’re showing you, and that they legally have to show you, and you should legally have to show them. That’s my other pet peeve.

Z: Otherwise, you’re not really much better than that guy that drove up to the restaurant and screamed at the hostess, you’re just a little quieter.

A: Right. And fine, you wore it to get seated, but then all bets are off. Covid doesn’t go away because you’ve been seated at your table. Everyone is aware of it, and if we’re all aware of it, then the number will stay low. So be courteous, and show them a little gratitude, and be a kind person. It’s really stressful what they’re doing, and they’re doing it because they also need to make a living, and they have a job that doesn’t let them work from home. And we’ll get through the fall, it’ll be great. I’m really excited about fall, actually.

Z: It’s going to be a weird one, but hopefully some good.

A: I always like fall.

E: I do, too.

Z: You are definitely a fall guy.

A: Summer is my favorite season, but I would say fall is a close second.

E: Fall is my favorite, I love fall.

Z: I’m a spring guy, but that’s just me.

A: Really?

Z: I think it’s because I don’t find baseball boring. I love baseball.

A: Baseball is so boring, but that explains a lot about you. Were you like the kid that kept stats on the players? You totally did.

Z: I’m not going to say no.

A: I just never could get into baseball, it’s just so boring.

Z: It’s for refined palates only. It’s the Cognac of sports. When you’re an adult, Adam, you’ll appreciate it.

A: It’s amazing that you brought it full circle into our ad. Bartenders, enter the Cognac connection challenge to win a $1,000 cash stipend. Deadline is Sept. 7. Go to cognacconnection.com to enter and for details. Zach is now going to submit a baseball-themed Cognac cocktail. With that being said, it’s been another fun one, and we’ll see you back here next week.

E: See you then.

Z: Sounds great.

A: Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy, and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/will-bars-survive-this-fall/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/vinepair-podcast-will-bars-survive-this-fall

[wineanddinosaur]

VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall?

In any other year, the coming of fall might prompt bars to start making some changes: Replacing some tequila and rum cocktails with an extra whiskey or Cognac drink, making sure that they’re fully staffed for college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays, and otherwise preparing for a different, but still successful, season from summer. This year, however, bars and restaurants that have managed to survive the Covid-19 crisis — thanks in part to expanded outdoor seating capacity — will no longer have that lifeline.

What bars will do to survive the season is a concern among drinks professionals and enthusiasts nationwide. Can bars and restaurants expand delivery and takeout options through the fall? Will screening football games outside convince fans to come out and buy some beers while braving the outdoors? Should these businesses all buy a bunch of heat lamps and hope for the best? That’s what Adam, Erica, and Zach discuss on this week’s episode of the VinePair Podcast — now recommended by The New York Times.

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Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Erica: From Connecticut, I’m Erica Duecy.

Zach: And in Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the VinePair Podcast. I’m back from vacation! You guys did an OK job last week, but I’m glad to be back holding it down as the third. I know the listeners missed me. You guys, it’s OK, I’m back. You’re welcome. I know you guys missed me, right?

Z: We need The New York Times approved-formula, so yes.

E: Yes, exactly.

A: For those that did not already see the paper of record, we were listed as one of the seven podcasts that you need to listen to if you’re interested in the world of drinks. It would have been cooler if they said we were the only. Just kidding, I like the other six, too. It was a run yesterday and it’ll be in print on Sunday. Before we jump into everything, a word from this week’s sponsor. Everyone, this is your last chance to enter to win a $1,000 cash stipend and all you have to do is make a Cognac cocktail. Cognac USA, Speedrack, and VinePair are thrilled to offer 10 $1,000 cash stipend prizes exclusively for bartenders. All you have to do — and I know there are bartenders that listen to this, so this is all you have to do — you have to enter by simply creating an original Cognac cocktail, then you visit cognacconnection.com, again that’s cognacconnection.com, for the details and to enter your cocktail recipe. Then, we are going to pick 10 recipes, and some people are going to win. It’s super easy, the deadline Sept. 7. Get it in. Enter your cocktail. Zach, tell your people. Erica, tell your people. Let’s make awesome Cognac cocktails. Let’s change people’s perception when it comes to Cognac. It’s delicious in cocktails, everybody knows this, or everyone should know this. So if you have a great Cognac cocktail just make it and then enter it at cognacconnection.com. And with that, what’s going on?

E: I will say that my favorite part of The New York Times article was the recognition that we have “enjoyably strong opinions.”

Z: I’m going to make an enjoyably strong Cognac cocktail.

A: Cognac cocktails are delicious. First of all, I think I did a really awesome riff on that ad read. I just want you guys to know I’m very pleased with myself on this one. I think Cognac is delicious in cocktails. It’s an often forgotten spirit for a lot of people, although it’s having a massive resurgence; the amount of people consuming Cognac in quarantine is insane. If you look at any of the Neilsen data it’s incredible what is happening there. People love Cognac, and you should be drinking it in cocktails. And if you want to make cocktails you should as well.

Z: I told this to Erica and she told me all she wants is a snifter of Cognac by the fire.

E: I drink it straight. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a Sidecar. I like a Vieux-Carré. There’s a lot of good cocktails out there, but I’m a purist when it comes to Cognac, Armagnac, or Calvados. Those are my savoring spirits. Those are the ones I like plain.

A: I like them plain as well. I like sipping them. There’s something that feels very refined about it, you feel like a real adult. If that makes sense?

E: It kind of does. It feels contemplative.

Z: I can’t tell if it feels more like I’m an adult or more like I’m a plutocrat, which isn’t necessarily something I’m going for.

A: I think you’d make a good plutocrat.

Z: Well, I’m going to move on because I don’t want to know why that is.

A: So anyway, how was your week with a break from me? Was it good? Did you enjoy it? Were you like, “Let’s not tell Adam we’re recording today?”

E: I have to say we missed the dynamic of the three. I do think that three is the perfect formula in this particular cocktail.

Z: Equal parts Erica?

E: Equal parts, although I will say there is occasionally a dominant flavor.

A: You’re talking about Zach right?

Z: That’s just because I edit them this way. I guess we’re like a Negroni I suppose. That’s a good way to describe us.

A: The way a classic Negroni should be made.

Z: This raises the question: Who is the Campari, who is the gin, and who is the vermouth?

E: I call the Campari.

A: Fine, then I’m gin.

Z: Alright I’ll be the vermouth, that’s fine.

A: I don’t think that suits your personality though.

Z: You have lots of opinions about my personality. What am I then? Am I like amaro, are we going with a dark Negroni here?

A: You’re amaro, that works.

E: That does work.

Z: Alright.

A: You know where I got to go to on vacation, on our way back from Virginia we stopped in Lancaster, which we wrote about recently. I went to Luca and they have one of the best amaro lists on the East Coast and I have to say, it was awesome. It felt really good to support another restaurant that we’ve written about before. It was also really cool to finally see in person this list. It was super deep, really geeky, it was really cool. Lancaster is a million-in-population city in Pennsylvania but it’s not like San Francisco, L.A., or New York where amaro has become super geeky and people are really into it. And I asked if people were into the list and how often they order it and he said all the time. Once they interested people to it then they wanted to come back and explore, which I thought was really cool. And it was a testament to that if you do things and you educate the guests about what it is on the list, and why they should be potentially interested in it in an accessible way, and you make it feel fun for them, then they’ll come back and keep ordering it and trying it, because you didn’t make it feel intimidating. They’re very cool, and I thought it was an awesome list.

Z: That’s awesome.

E: What was the scene like there? Was it indoor and outdoor dining, or just outdoor?

A: So it was really interesting because I’m used to only dining in New York — I don’t know, Erica, if it’s different in Jersey, and Zach you have to tell us what it’s like in Seattle — in New York, it’s just outdoor, so you make a reservation, and you sit down. In Pennsylvania, you make the reservation, then you have to text them when you get there, and you have to sit in your car with your party. And I thought this might have just been a Luca thing, but then my mother-in-law was telling me that it is at a lot of restaurants in the area. So they text you when your table’s ready and we wanted to be outside — they do have indoor but we did not want to be indoor. I think New York has made me feel like indoor isn’t OK, even though I know that everyone is doing it, so I was like “we’re outdoor.” So you show up and they take every single person’s temperature and they ask for every single person’s name and phone number. So they’re actually doing contact tracing, which I thought was really interesting and a little weird obviously to do right before you sit down for dinner. But it was actually my father-in-law’s first time dining out since the pandemic, and it made him feel really comfortable. They have it down, they are checking people, and then the tables were really well spaced. Very similar to New York, they let them extend their patios so they had a front patio and tables on the sidewalk and even some in the street. So the city is being very liberal in terms of trying to let restaurants make up as much square footage as possible. They also had very clear call-outs on their menu, which I also hadn’t seen before that said “we really love having you back, we’re really happy to be back. Please understand we are not at full capacity. This is not enough for us to sustain ourselves. Please continue to order takeout when you can.” Which I thought was really a smart move on their part. And they were definitely a skeleton crew, just like everywhere else I’ve been, they’re not at full staff power. The dishes came out slower than they normally would be. We were all OK with it, we understood, and we rolled with it, and it was fine. But you do hear stories about people who weren’t. But then I had a really crazy experience.

E: Do tell.

Z: Tell us, please.

A: The next night I was still in Pennsylvania and one of my good friends, Lenna, is from the area, not from Lancaster and that’s not how we knew her, we met her in New York. But she’s from the area, and her parents own a diner in York, and her uncle owns a really well-known seafood restaurant called Kyma right outside of Lancaster. It’s a really beautiful seafood restaurant, and he has a steakhouse right next door. So they asked if we wanted to go to his restaurant. He loves VinePair, so we went to the restaurant and we sat outside. And this guy shows up in this really nice car. It was a European import, he gets out not wearing a mask, and he goes to the hostess stand and I see him confront the hostess. She’s like, “I’m sorry sir, we can’t seat you unless you’re wearing a mask. It’s not only state policy, it’s our policy.” And he’s like, “I want to speak to the owner. Who’s the owner?” And he sees that next door the steakhouse is named Johnny’s which actually is named after the owner’s father. The owner walks over, Lenna’s uncle, and says, “I’m Johnny.” And he just gets in his face and starts screaming at him like, “How dare you make me wear a mask, this is fascism” It was really crazy to watch. Then when it’s all over, Nick, who’s Lenna’s uncle, comes over to the table, and I asked how often that happens, and he was like, “You’d be shocked.” And I have to say, for everything else that everyone in the industry is going through, the thought that you have to deal with that was just really upsetting. That there’s these people that don’t want to follow the rules and just want to scream in your face and make you feel like a jerk — and then all he did was just get in his car with his passenger who was sitting in the car, almost like they knew this was what was going to happen and drove away. They just came out to yell at somebody about a restriction that they don’t agree with that is keeping everyone safe and is helping keep numbers down and drove away with no intention of probably ever dining there. I almost wonder if they were just driving around looking for a restaurant that looked full, which was packed on a Sunday evening, and were just looking to scream at somebody. And it’s just really f***** up and really upsetting. Which takes us into our conversation about this fall.

E: Oh, the fall.

Z: It’s funny, I was just thinking about how the challenges that we’re going through, and I’m sure we’ll get to this in a moment. For now, we’re in this period of time where things are — even in the case of the restaurant you mentioned, Adam — with things on the menu, it looks vaguely sustainable. You have all this added seating capacity outdoors, you have the ability for people to sprawl into the streets in some cases, but none of this can last, and I think that that screaming match is one piece of the problem. But most of this is that we don’t have a comprehensive plan for restaurants and bars that’s going to work for fall and winter. That’s not going to offer, for most people and places, a lot of options.

E: It’s a situation where it’s like: Yes, it’s raining or snowing. OK, there’s no restaurants then. At least in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut, where I’ve been all summer, outdoor is the only allowed type of dining; there is no indoor dining. So there’s really just very few options for any kind of restaurant or bar operations to be happening at all once the weather starts to turn.

A: I think it’s going to be really crazy. It’s going to totally depend on what happens as the weather turns and how we’re going to adjust for all these restaurants. I think there has been a much larger growing cry in New York City for there to finally be indoor dining opening up. I think for some restaurants, they’ll have at least some revenue from that, but it’s also not going to be enough. Or we have to lax restrictions on outdoor heating lamps, which I didn’t realize a lot of people have banned because of fire code, which makes sense in a lot of ways. But maybe we need to lax that fire code for now. I’m not educated enough to know how much of a fire risk they are, so I don’t want to sound ignorant by saying, “We need to completely lax that restriction,” if maybe those things always catch on fire, and they’re crazy fire hazards. But if they’re not, and we just have them because they’re a heat-producing source, and it’s just within the code to normally restrict them, we need to make those easy. Because people will sit outside still because they’re eager to be out of their homes in November, or even early December, if there are heat lamps. But they’re not going to if they have to freeze.

Z: And I think the other problem we come across is this unfortunate, really brutal truth, which is the more you make a place comfortable, the more you make it feel more like indoors, the less safe it is from a Covid standpoint. If you put a tarp over some sort of another canopy over the top to keep the rain out, well now you’re not getting the same benefit of airflow that you’re getting outdoors during the summer. You start to put up things to keep wind and even possibly rain out on the sides, again now you’re just putting people in a tent, which isn’t safe. And so heat is a part of it, but the reality is that in most parts of this country, for a good portion of the late fall and winter and early spring, there’s just not going to be a safe way to dine out from a Covid standpoint. Or at least if you do it’s going to have to be at the same low kind of density as is possible in most places where indoor dining is permitted. Again, I think we’re at this point where we’ve bought ourselves some time as an industry with it being summer but I haven’t yet seen an answer, I haven’t yet seen a solution that looks like it will even allow for a lot of the places that are open now to make it through November, December, January, and February without having to shut down.

E: I haven’t seen any updates on bailout money or any other support for restaurants and bars. It just seems to have gotten into the muddy mess of what’s happening with the bigger funding picture. There seem to be no developments at all. We’re just starting to see the next wave of closures coming down the pike as restaurateurs and bars are just realizing: Until there’s a vaccine, there’s probably not going to be many very good options.

A: I think it’s crazy because we don’t have enough in terms of clarity from the government as to what they’re going to do, and I think really the only thing that we can hope for right now is that the government is also going to step up. I know there’s a bunch of people who are starting to make even more noise than they were in the past about getting government assistance and trying to sound the alarm, but I think we need more of that. We need more people being loud about what’s going to happen if we get into fall and a lot of restaurants aren’t able to operate at close to normal capacity. And if that’s the case and aren’t going to get government assistance, we’re going to lose a lot of jobs. And if we lose a lot of jobs, we’re going to have a lot of issues with people being out of work and an economy that isn’t able to bounce back as quickly. That’s what I don’t understand, how we don’t understand that as a country. Part of us getting out of this means that there’s less people unemployed when it all ends. If there are more people unemployed it takes longer for those people. There’s also not going to be all of a sudden ton of people eager to open brand new restaurants: “I’ve had this amazing three-Michelin-star concept I’ve always been dying to open.”

Z: One of the big questions that I have is if we think this next wave of closures is coming or has already begun and will only intensify as the weather worsens — there still will be demand in the general population for some kind of food and drinks that they don’t make it home, and I’m wondering, I don’t know that anyone has a great handle yet on what all that means. We certainly talked about the desire for more accessibility for people to get wine, beer, and spirits direct-to-consumer sent to their house, but I think one of the questions I have is are we going to have a new idea of what food and beverage services in a community? I have a few thoughts of my own, but I’m curious if you guys have any thoughts on that?

A: The thing for me that could be interesting about the fall is I’m really curious to see — first of all, we don’t know what’s happening with sports. Again, what is happening in this country is absolutely despicable in terms of what just happened in Wisconsin. And with the Milwaukee Bucks, when we’re recording this on Thursday, Aug. 27, deciding not to play and the NBA season remaining in don’t, who knows? But all signs do point that we’re going to have football this fall. And we do know that across the board — even though we’ve had NBA, we’ve had Major League Baseball, but I’m going to go on record and say that baseball is super boring. We have Major League Soccer, etc. — those are sports that, for the most part, people really don’t think about gathering together in bars in the same way. I think in certain cities, there’s a little bit of the culture, but in the same way as with football: Both with college, which has three major conferences that are saying they are still going to play, and then the NFL that is saying it is going to play no matter what. It can because it makes so much money, so they will pay the players to convince them to play. That I’m curious about, because I do wonder if we’re going to start to see certain places get creative with how they still broadcast those games. As much as more people are watching sports at home, there is a culture in every city where these sports exist that people like to go to a bar or gastropub for the entire day of Sunday and eat bar food and drink. And you cannot replicate that in the same way at home and I wonder if we’ll start seeing people put projectors outside, trying as best as they can to recreate that in some way to bring people in. That will be very interesting to me.

E: I think we are going to see more of that both at bars with outdoor spaces but also in people’s backyards and parks and so forth. I’ve already seen — and this may just be my friend set, which is the friend set with children — but a lot of people are investing in outdoor projectors that you can project against your wall and have movie screenings and sporting events. We have the US Open coming up, and the Kentucky Derby on Sept. 5. I think these small gatherings at home, and I’m resistant to call them parties, but we had a big conversation about how we were going to cover the Kentucky Derby this year. Were we going to suggest that people have big parties or go to any events? We couldn’t really find any that were happening, and we aren’t comfortable saying to have a party, but we are going to put together something saying how to put together a Kentucky Derby gathering at your house for a small set of friends. Because I think people are looking for entertainment, they want to have reasons to come together, and making Mint Juleps while you watch a horse race is as good as any. And that’s just a tradition we have in this country. So whether it’s the NBA, NFL, golf, or tennis, people have this need of wanting to come together, and that’s not going to stop. So what does that mean? Does it mean it’s happening in yards and parks? Does it mean we’re going to have speakeasy-type gatherings happening at bars that aren’t totally licensed? I don’t know. But I think it’s going to happen, regardless.

Z: There’s no doubt. I think that is a really great point that the desire for congregating around these events is going to be hugely impactful. But I feel like one thing that could be part of this, too — in the same way that Adam was talking about the idea of spending a whole Sunday at a bar watching the games — I’m wondering if that might not be an option, and what if you’re a bar or restaurant that’s like “we’re going to give you three deliveries throughout the day.” One of the big things for me when I do that is that you would get your wings to start and nachos and burger — then you die because that’s a horrible day of dining, but I was 23. I feel like finding ways to figure offerings and beverage offerings around what people are already doing could relocate to your house. I’m thinking out loud here, so I apologize, but I think part of it is finding ways that we can deal with unusual circumstances with a little bit of normalcy would be a really good business idea.

A: I think so. Trying to figure out as best you can how you make it feel normal for people is really big. And people figured this out this summer, too. I think we thought, what is the summer going to be like, is it going to be the same? And I think for a lot of people it felt like summer. It hasn’t felt like the summer of 2019 or the term summer prior to that but it still felt like summer and I think it will still feel like fall if people get creative. You know how I feel about this, even though Keith (for those that listen to the Wine 101 podcast) defamed me this week. I do not like pumpkin spice, even though he said I did; pumpkin spice is going to continue to come out. People are still going to start playing with fall flavors. We’re all going to start drinking cocktails that have whiskey and Cognac and things like that. That’s going to happen again just like it happened in the summer. I think I feel more confident about that than I did three months ago because we hadn’t had a transition from Covid into a new season. We all went into Covid in this weird winter-ish spring-ish lull and all we did was pantry-load and bake sourdough and put on the Covid-19 and stock up on as much alcohol as possible. But then we transitioned into summer and it started to feel like summer and I think the same is going to happen in fall, which is going to be weird but could be interesting, especially if we allow some of these laws to stay relaxed so that restaurants can take advantage of that weird yet similar transition.

E: One of my biggest concerns is we have restaurants closed, we have bars closed, and going into fall what is it that we at VinePair, that we as professionals can help consumers do? The thing that I keep on coming back to is this question of discovery. There have been massive spikes for all the big brands like Josh Cellars and Casamigos and Bud Light on all of the ordering platforms but the thing that we still haven’t solved for yet — because bars and restaurants are closed — is how do you help consumers discover smaller brands, whether it’s wine, beer, or spirits? That element of discovery is something that we are going to lean into this fall at VinePair and just help people find these smaller brands. I feel like if we don’t do our part in trying to help consumers find these smaller brands there’s going to be even more of these companies that close. For example, one of the things that we’re doing is the “$250 Case Challenge” where we’re asking somms and wine professionals to put together an entire 12 bottle case for $250 of the best bottles they can curate from a national retailer. Do you guys know Philippe André, the brand ambassador at Charles Heidsieck? He’s amazing and a totally hilarious, cool guy. He accepted our challenge. We are just going to go from national retailer to national retailer and put together the best case you can find. At first, he was like, “you’re crazy,” but eventually, he did it and figured out the best 12 bottles I can buy for that total amount. And he’s recommending some amazing bottles, and that’s going to come out about a week from now. We’re going to go from retailer to retailer because I think one of the key things that frustrate me and other wine buyers I know is “how do I buy it?” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard from listeners and readers they’re psyched to try this thing we recommended, but they can’t find it online. And the existing platforms that are out there are not great, so as a consumer I think it’s especially frustrating to buy wine online. And we’re not a retailer, but we can help consumers by telling them about cool bottles they can buy online. I think helping to solve that through a variety of articles that we’re doing — we have a cool one coming out about limited-edition whiskey releases — will lead to a better fall for a lot of people that are going to be stuck inside and bored and they want to be buying the same crap that they’re buying on Wine.com all the time.

Z: I was just going to say that. I think that Erica’s point is a really good one, and it feeds back into this problem that we’re going to be facing with restaurants being much less able to be that point of discovery. It’s already been greatly diminished because of Covid and then maybe has been floating along with outdoor dining. Maybe you can get introduced to some new things in that capacity but that’s why all these conversations feed into and of one another in that were facing a crisis of consolidation in the industry where so much of the purchasing, especially in times like this, is run through a few narrow channels and those channels are dominated by large brands and distributors and I’m excited to hear that we’re interested in continuing to try to provide people with some alternatives or at least if you’re going to work within those big national channels giving some options that are not the stayed set of options that dominant those shelves. I think it’s very true that there’s a lot of desire for people to continue to discover and maybe bring those gatherings around a sporting event or other events from listeners to showcase to your friends some of the things that you have discovered. Whether with our help or someone else’s help, there’s possibility here, but it’s going to take work.

A: You know where to reach us: podcast@vinepair.com. You can tell us what you have been drinking. The fall is going to be very interesting. I think we’re going to see how everything evolves and will continue to discover new things; in the summer I think we saw that they did. People turned back to old cocktails they maybe haven’t made in a while. We also saw that people made new cocktails. We saw that people jumped on board with different kinds of wines, and I think that discovery hopefully will continue, and hopefully people will find it easier to do with new tools like our new column that Erica said we’re launching. Because I think we have to go into the fall as positive as possible otherwise it’s just going to be all doom and gloom of “we had these three months of sunshine and warmth and everyone going to the beach and now we’re back to those months in Covid” and I hope we can go in as positive as possible, especially because this election season is going to be brutal.

Z: Yeah there’s enough negativity that’s going to be out there.

A: It’s going to be brutal. If we can, then hopefully we can make it out of this thing as soon as possible, and I think we all have to be advocates for restaurants and bars that are struggling. Try to help them as much as you can. Talk to your lawmakers, encourage them to set up funding for them, because if not, people are going to get desperate. I’m from a college town, and I’ve seen recently that the college that I’m from has opened back up, and I’m nervous about it, because my parents are still down there — even though they’re retired from being professors — but the one bar over the weekend was packed. Way over capacity, and I don’t want to think the bar owner is a bad actor, I just want to think at this point they’re just desperate. They need to make money, and no one else is helping them. It’s a lot easier to follow the regulations if people are helping you and no one is really reaching out so help as much as you can because if not it’s not going to be a beautiful lovely fall.

E: I was looking at the State Liquor Authority for New York, and already 162 business’ liquor licenses have been suspended. There’s been like 900 other violations, and I think that for the operators that are open, they’re really desperate. And if you look at the list of violations, it’s for indoor bar service, walk-up service, no mask enforcement, people not socially distanced, operators are doing what they can to stay afloat, and sometimes that means they are taking chances that maybe they shouldn’t be, but it’s a desperate situation.

A: It is. And this is totally off topic, but one of my other pet peeves is when your server comes to your table, put your f***ing mask on. I’ve seen so many servers that I’m friends with saying at this point it’s ridiculous. They’re wearing theirs to protect you, you should wear yours to protect them. I get it if they surprise you out of nowhere, fine, but when you’re ready to order put your f***ing mask on. Show them the same courtesy that they’re showing you, and that they legally have to show you, and you should legally have to show them. That’s my other pet peeve.

Z: Otherwise, you’re not really much better than that guy that drove up to the restaurant and screamed at the hostess, you’re just a little quieter.

A: Right. And fine, you wore it to get seated, but then all bets are off. Covid doesn’t go away because you’ve been seated at your table. Everyone is aware of it, and if we’re all aware of it, then the number will stay low. So be courteous, and show them a little gratitude, and be a kind person. It’s really stressful what they’re doing, and they’re doing it because they also need to make a living, and they have a job that doesn’t let them work from home. And we’ll get through the fall, it’ll be great. I’m really excited about fall, actually.

Z: It’s going to be a weird one, but hopefully some good.

A: I always like fall.

E: I do, too.

Z: You are definitely a fall guy.

A: Summer is my favorite season, but I would say fall is a close second.

E: Fall is my favorite, I love fall.

Z: I’m a spring guy, but that’s just me.

A: Really?

Z: I think it’s because I don’t find baseball boring. I love baseball.

A: Baseball is so boring, but that explains a lot about you. Were you like the kid that kept stats on the players? You totally did.

Z: I’m not going to say no.

A: I just never could get into baseball, it’s just so boring.

Z: It’s for refined palates only. It’s the Cognac of sports. When you’re an adult, Adam, you’ll appreciate it.

A: It’s amazing that you brought it full circle into our ad. Bartenders, enter the Cognac connection challenge to win a $1,000 cash stipend. Deadline is Sept. 7. Go to cognacconnection.com to enter and for details. Zach is now going to submit a baseball-themed Cognac cocktail. With that being said, it’s been another fun one, and we’ll see you back here next week.

E: See you then.

Z: Sounds great.

A: Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy, and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/will-bars-survive-this-fall/

[isaiahrippinus]

VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall?

In any other year, the coming of fall might prompt bars to start making some changes: Replacing some tequila and rum cocktails with an extra whiskey or Cognac drink, making sure that they’re fully staffed for college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays, and otherwise preparing for a different, but still successful, season from summer. This year, however, bars and restaurants that have managed to survive the Covid-19 crisis — thanks in part to expanded outdoor seating capacity — will no longer have that lifeline.

What bars will do to survive the season is a concern among drinks professionals and enthusiasts nationwide. Can bars and restaurants expand delivery and takeout options through the fall? Will screening football games outside convince fans to come out and buy some beers while braving the outdoors? Should these businesses all buy a bunch of heat lamps and hope for the best? That’s what Adam, Erica, and Zach discuss on this week’s episode of the VinePair Podcast — now recommended by The New York Times.

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Adam: From Brooklyn, New York, I’m Adam Teeter.

Erica: From Connecticut, I’m Erica Duecy.

Zach: And in Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: And this is the VinePair Podcast. I’m back from vacation! You guys did an OK job last week, but I’m glad to be back holding it down as the third. I know the listeners missed me. You guys, it’s OK, I’m back. You’re welcome. I know you guys missed me, right?

Z: We need The New York Times approved-formula, so yes.

E: Yes, exactly.

A: For those that did not already see the paper of record, we were listed as one of the seven podcasts that you need to listen to if you’re interested in the world of drinks. It would have been cooler if they said we were the only. Just kidding, I like the other six, too. It was a run yesterday and it’ll be in print on Sunday. Before we jump into everything, a word from this week’s sponsor. Everyone, this is your last chance to enter to win a $1,000 cash stipend and all you have to do is make a Cognac cocktail. Cognac USA, Speedrack, and VinePair are thrilled to offer 10 $1,000 cash stipend prizes exclusively for bartenders. All you have to do — and I know there are bartenders that listen to this, so this is all you have to do — you have to enter by simply creating an original Cognac cocktail, then you visit cognacconnection.com, again that’s cognacconnection.com, for the details and to enter your cocktail recipe. Then, we are going to pick 10 recipes, and some people are going to win. It’s super easy, the deadline Sept. 7. Get it in. Enter your cocktail. Zach, tell your people. Erica, tell your people. Let’s make awesome Cognac cocktails. Let’s change people’s perception when it comes to Cognac. It’s delicious in cocktails, everybody knows this, or everyone should know this. So if you have a great Cognac cocktail just make it and then enter it at cognacconnection.com. And with that, what’s going on?

E: I will say that my favorite part of The New York Times article was the recognition that we have “enjoyably strong opinions.”

Z: I’m going to make an enjoyably strong Cognac cocktail.

A: Cognac cocktails are delicious. First of all, I think I did a really awesome riff on that ad read. I just want you guys to know I’m very pleased with myself on this one. I think Cognac is delicious in cocktails. It’s an often forgotten spirit for a lot of people, although it’s having a massive resurgence; the amount of people consuming Cognac in quarantine is insane. If you look at any of the Neilsen data it’s incredible what is happening there. People love Cognac, and you should be drinking it in cocktails. And if you want to make cocktails you should as well.

Z: I told this to Erica and she told me all she wants is a snifter of Cognac by the fire.

E: I drink it straight. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a Sidecar. I like a Vieux-Carré. There’s a lot of good cocktails out there, but I’m a purist when it comes to Cognac, Armagnac, or Calvados. Those are my savoring spirits. Those are the ones I like plain.

A: I like them plain as well. I like sipping them. There’s something that feels very refined about it, you feel like a real adult. If that makes sense?

E: It kind of does. It feels contemplative.

Z: I can’t tell if it feels more like I’m an adult or more like I’m a plutocrat, which isn’t necessarily something I’m going for.

A: I think you’d make a good plutocrat.

Z: Well, I’m going to move on because I don’t want to know why that is.

A: So anyway, how was your week with a break from me? Was it good? Did you enjoy it? Were you like, “Let’s not tell Adam we’re recording today?”

E: I have to say we missed the dynamic of the three. I do think that three is the perfect formula in this particular cocktail.

Z: Equal parts Erica?

E: Equal parts, although I will say there is occasionally a dominant flavor.

A: You’re talking about Zach right?

Z: That’s just because I edit them this way. I guess we’re like a Negroni I suppose. That’s a good way to describe us.

A: The way a classic Negroni should be made.

Z: This raises the question: Who is the Campari, who is the gin, and who is the vermouth?

E: I call the Campari.

A: Fine, then I’m gin.

Z: Alright I’ll be the vermouth, that’s fine.

A: I don’t think that suits your personality though.

Z: You have lots of opinions about my personality. What am I then? Am I like amaro, are we going with a dark Negroni here?

A: You’re amaro, that works.

E: That does work.

Z: Alright.

A: You know where I got to go to on vacation, on our way back from Virginia we stopped in Lancaster, which we wrote about recently. I went to Luca and they have one of the best amaro lists on the East Coast and I have to say, it was awesome. It felt really good to support another restaurant that we’ve written about before. It was also really cool to finally see in person this list. It was super deep, really geeky, it was really cool. Lancaster is a million-in-population city in Pennsylvania but it’s not like San Francisco, L.A., or New York where amaro has become super geeky and people are really into it. And I asked if people were into the list and how often they order it and he said all the time. Once they interested people to it then they wanted to come back and explore, which I thought was really cool. And it was a testament to that if you do things and you educate the guests about what it is on the list, and why they should be potentially interested in it in an accessible way, and you make it feel fun for them, then they’ll come back and keep ordering it and trying it, because you didn’t make it feel intimidating. They’re very cool, and I thought it was an awesome list.

Z: That’s awesome.

E: What was the scene like there? Was it indoor and outdoor dining, or just outdoor?

A: So it was really interesting because I’m used to only dining in New York — I don’t know, Erica, if it’s different in Jersey, and Zach you have to tell us what it’s like in Seattle — in New York, it’s just outdoor, so you make a reservation, and you sit down. In Pennsylvania, you make the reservation, then you have to text them when you get there, and you have to sit in your car with your party. And I thought this might have just been a Luca thing, but then my mother-in-law was telling me that it is at a lot of restaurants in the area. So they text you when your table’s ready and we wanted to be outside — they do have indoor but we did not want to be indoor. I think New York has made me feel like indoor isn’t OK, even though I know that everyone is doing it, so I was like “we’re outdoor.” So you show up and they take every single person’s temperature and they ask for every single person’s name and phone number. So they’re actually doing contact tracing, which I thought was really interesting and a little weird obviously to do right before you sit down for dinner. But it was actually my father-in-law’s first time dining out since the pandemic, and it made him feel really comfortable. They have it down, they are checking people, and then the tables were really well spaced. Very similar to New York, they let them extend their patios so they had a front patio and tables on the sidewalk and even some in the street. So the city is being very liberal in terms of trying to let restaurants make up as much square footage as possible. They also had very clear call-outs on their menu, which I also hadn’t seen before that said “we really love having you back, we’re really happy to be back. Please understand we are not at full capacity. This is not enough for us to sustain ourselves. Please continue to order takeout when you can.” Which I thought was really a smart move on their part. And they were definitely a skeleton crew, just like everywhere else I’ve been, they’re not at full staff power. The dishes came out slower than they normally would be. We were all OK with it, we understood, and we rolled with it, and it was fine. But you do hear stories about people who weren’t. But then I had a really crazy experience.

E: Do tell.

Z: Tell us, please.

A: The next night I was still in Pennsylvania and one of my good friends, Lenna, is from the area, not from Lancaster and that’s not how we knew her, we met her in New York. But she’s from the area, and her parents own a diner in York, and her uncle owns a really well-known seafood restaurant called Kyma right outside of Lancaster. It’s a really beautiful seafood restaurant, and he has a steakhouse right next door. So they asked if we wanted to go to his restaurant. He loves VinePair, so we went to the restaurant and we sat outside. And this guy shows up in this really nice car. It was a European import, he gets out not wearing a mask, and he goes to the hostess stand and I see him confront the hostess. She’s like, “I’m sorry sir, we can’t seat you unless you’re wearing a mask. It’s not only state policy, it’s our policy.” And he’s like, “I want to speak to the owner. Who’s the owner?” And he sees that next door the steakhouse is named Johnny’s which actually is named after the owner’s father. The owner walks over, Lenna’s uncle, and says, “I’m Johnny.” And he just gets in his face and starts screaming at him like, “How dare you make me wear a mask, this is fascism” It was really crazy to watch. Then when it’s all over, Nick, who’s Lenna’s uncle, comes over to the table, and I asked how often that happens, and he was like, “You’d be shocked.” And I have to say, for everything else that everyone in the industry is going through, the thought that you have to deal with that was just really upsetting. That there’s these people that don’t want to follow the rules and just want to scream in your face and make you feel like a jerk — and then all he did was just get in his car with his passenger who was sitting in the car, almost like they knew this was what was going to happen and drove away. They just came out to yell at somebody about a restriction that they don’t agree with that is keeping everyone safe and is helping keep numbers down and drove away with no intention of probably ever dining there. I almost wonder if they were just driving around looking for a restaurant that looked full, which was packed on a Sunday evening, and were just looking to scream at somebody. And it’s just really f***** up and really upsetting. Which takes us into our conversation about this fall.

E: Oh, the fall.

Z: It’s funny, I was just thinking about how the challenges that we’re going through, and I’m sure we’ll get to this in a moment. For now, we’re in this period of time where things are — even in the case of the restaurant you mentioned, Adam — with things on the menu, it looks vaguely sustainable. You have all this added seating capacity outdoors, you have the ability for people to sprawl into the streets in some cases, but none of this can last, and I think that that screaming match is one piece of the problem. But most of this is that we don’t have a comprehensive plan for restaurants and bars that’s going to work for fall and winter. That’s not going to offer, for most people and places, a lot of options.

E: It’s a situation where it’s like: Yes, it’s raining or snowing. OK, there’s no restaurants then. At least in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut, where I’ve been all summer, outdoor is the only allowed type of dining; there is no indoor dining. So there’s really just very few options for any kind of restaurant or bar operations to be happening at all once the weather starts to turn.

A: I think it’s going to be really crazy. It’s going to totally depend on what happens as the weather turns and how we’re going to adjust for all these restaurants. I think there has been a much larger growing cry in New York City for there to finally be indoor dining opening up. I think for some restaurants, they’ll have at least some revenue from that, but it’s also not going to be enough. Or we have to lax restrictions on outdoor heating lamps, which I didn’t realize a lot of people have banned because of fire code, which makes sense in a lot of ways. But maybe we need to lax that fire code for now. I’m not educated enough to know how much of a fire risk they are, so I don’t want to sound ignorant by saying, “We need to completely lax that restriction,” if maybe those things always catch on fire, and they’re crazy fire hazards. But if they’re not, and we just have them because they’re a heat-producing source, and it’s just within the code to normally restrict them, we need to make those easy. Because people will sit outside still because they’re eager to be out of their homes in November, or even early December, if there are heat lamps. But they’re not going to if they have to freeze.

Z: And I think the other problem we come across is this unfortunate, really brutal truth, which is the more you make a place comfortable, the more you make it feel more like indoors, the less safe it is from a Covid standpoint. If you put a tarp over some sort of another canopy over the top to keep the rain out, well now you’re not getting the same benefit of airflow that you’re getting outdoors during the summer. You start to put up things to keep wind and even possibly rain out on the sides, again now you’re just putting people in a tent, which isn’t safe. And so heat is a part of it, but the reality is that in most parts of this country, for a good portion of the late fall and winter and early spring, there’s just not going to be a safe way to dine out from a Covid standpoint. Or at least if you do it’s going to have to be at the same low kind of density as is possible in most places where indoor dining is permitted. Again, I think we’re at this point where we’ve bought ourselves some time as an industry with it being summer but I haven’t yet seen an answer, I haven’t yet seen a solution that looks like it will even allow for a lot of the places that are open now to make it through November, December, January, and February without having to shut down.

E: I haven’t seen any updates on bailout money or any other support for restaurants and bars. It just seems to have gotten into the muddy mess of what’s happening with the bigger funding picture. There seem to be no developments at all. We’re just starting to see the next wave of closures coming down the pike as restaurateurs and bars are just realizing: Until there’s a vaccine, there’s probably not going to be many very good options.

A: I think it’s crazy because we don’t have enough in terms of clarity from the government as to what they’re going to do, and I think really the only thing that we can hope for right now is that the government is also going to step up. I know there’s a bunch of people who are starting to make even more noise than they were in the past about getting government assistance and trying to sound the alarm, but I think we need more of that. We need more people being loud about what’s going to happen if we get into fall and a lot of restaurants aren’t able to operate at close to normal capacity. And if that’s the case and aren’t going to get government assistance, we’re going to lose a lot of jobs. And if we lose a lot of jobs, we’re going to have a lot of issues with people being out of work and an economy that isn’t able to bounce back as quickly. That’s what I don’t understand, how we don’t understand that as a country. Part of us getting out of this means that there’s less people unemployed when it all ends. If there are more people unemployed it takes longer for those people. There’s also not going to be all of a sudden ton of people eager to open brand new restaurants: “I’ve had this amazing three-Michelin-star concept I’ve always been dying to open.”

Z: One of the big questions that I have is if we think this next wave of closures is coming or has already begun and will only intensify as the weather worsens — there still will be demand in the general population for some kind of food and drinks that they don’t make it home, and I’m wondering, I don’t know that anyone has a great handle yet on what all that means. We certainly talked about the desire for more accessibility for people to get wine, beer, and spirits direct-to-consumer sent to their house, but I think one of the questions I have is are we going to have a new idea of what food and beverage services in a community? I have a few thoughts of my own, but I’m curious if you guys have any thoughts on that?

A: The thing for me that could be interesting about the fall is I’m really curious to see — first of all, we don’t know what’s happening with sports. Again, what is happening in this country is absolutely despicable in terms of what just happened in Wisconsin. And with the Milwaukee Bucks, when we’re recording this on Thursday, Aug. 27, deciding not to play and the NBA season remaining in don’t, who knows? But all signs do point that we’re going to have football this fall. And we do know that across the board — even though we’ve had NBA, we’ve had Major League Baseball, but I’m going to go on record and say that baseball is super boring. We have Major League Soccer, etc. — those are sports that, for the most part, people really don’t think about gathering together in bars in the same way. I think in certain cities, there’s a little bit of the culture, but in the same way as with football: Both with college, which has three major conferences that are saying they are still going to play, and then the NFL that is saying it is going to play no matter what. It can because it makes so much money, so they will pay the players to convince them to play. That I’m curious about, because I do wonder if we’re going to start to see certain places get creative with how they still broadcast those games. As much as more people are watching sports at home, there is a culture in every city where these sports exist that people like to go to a bar or gastropub for the entire day of Sunday and eat bar food and drink. And you cannot replicate that in the same way at home and I wonder if we’ll start seeing people put projectors outside, trying as best as they can to recreate that in some way to bring people in. That will be very interesting to me.

E: I think we are going to see more of that both at bars with outdoor spaces but also in people’s backyards and parks and so forth. I’ve already seen — and this may just be my friend set, which is the friend set with children — but a lot of people are investing in outdoor projectors that you can project against your wall and have movie screenings and sporting events. We have the US Open coming up, and the Kentucky Derby on Sept. 5. I think these small gatherings at home, and I’m resistant to call them parties, but we had a big conversation about how we were going to cover the Kentucky Derby this year. Were we going to suggest that people have big parties or go to any events? We couldn’t really find any that were happening, and we aren’t comfortable saying to have a party, but we are going to put together something saying how to put together a Kentucky Derby gathering at your house for a small set of friends. Because I think people are looking for entertainment, they want to have reasons to come together, and making Mint Juleps while you watch a horse race is as good as any. And that’s just a tradition we have in this country. So whether it’s the NBA, NFL, golf, or tennis, people have this need of wanting to come together, and that’s not going to stop. So what does that mean? Does it mean it’s happening in yards and parks? Does it mean we’re going to have speakeasy-type gatherings happening at bars that aren’t totally licensed? I don’t know. But I think it’s going to happen, regardless.

Z: There’s no doubt. I think that is a really great point that the desire for congregating around these events is going to be hugely impactful. But I feel like one thing that could be part of this, too — in the same way that Adam was talking about the idea of spending a whole Sunday at a bar watching the games — I’m wondering if that might not be an option, and what if you’re a bar or restaurant that’s like “we’re going to give you three deliveries throughout the day.” One of the big things for me when I do that is that you would get your wings to start and nachos and burger — then you die because that’s a horrible day of dining, but I was 23. I feel like finding ways to figure offerings and beverage offerings around what people are already doing could relocate to your house. I’m thinking out loud here, so I apologize, but I think part of it is finding ways that we can deal with unusual circumstances with a little bit of normalcy would be a really good business idea.

A: I think so. Trying to figure out as best you can how you make it feel normal for people is really big. And people figured this out this summer, too. I think we thought, what is the summer going to be like, is it going to be the same? And I think for a lot of people it felt like summer. It hasn’t felt like the summer of 2019 or the term summer prior to that but it still felt like summer and I think it will still feel like fall if people get creative. You know how I feel about this, even though Keith (for those that listen to the Wine 101 podcast) defamed me this week. I do not like pumpkin spice, even though he said I did; pumpkin spice is going to continue to come out. People are still going to start playing with fall flavors. We’re all going to start drinking cocktails that have whiskey and Cognac and things like that. That’s going to happen again just like it happened in the summer. I think I feel more confident about that than I did three months ago because we hadn’t had a transition from Covid into a new season. We all went into Covid in this weird winter-ish spring-ish lull and all we did was pantry-load and bake sourdough and put on the Covid-19 and stock up on as much alcohol as possible. But then we transitioned into summer and it started to feel like summer and I think the same is going to happen in fall, which is going to be weird but could be interesting, especially if we allow some of these laws to stay relaxed so that restaurants can take advantage of that weird yet similar transition.

E: One of my biggest concerns is we have restaurants closed, we have bars closed, and going into fall what is it that we at VinePair, that we as professionals can help consumers do? The thing that I keep on coming back to is this question of discovery. There have been massive spikes for all the big brands like Josh Cellars and Casamigos and Bud Light on all of the ordering platforms but the thing that we still haven’t solved for yet — because bars and restaurants are closed — is how do you help consumers discover smaller brands, whether it’s wine, beer, or spirits? That element of discovery is something that we are going to lean into this fall at VinePair and just help people find these smaller brands. I feel like if we don’t do our part in trying to help consumers find these smaller brands there’s going to be even more of these companies that close. For example, one of the things that we’re doing is the “$250 Case Challenge” where we’re asking somms and wine professionals to put together an entire 12 bottle case for $250 of the best bottles they can curate from a national retailer. Do you guys know Philippe André, the brand ambassador at Charles Heidsieck? He’s amazing and a totally hilarious, cool guy. He accepted our challenge. We are just going to go from national retailer to national retailer and put together the best case you can find. At first, he was like, “you’re crazy,” but eventually, he did it and figured out the best 12 bottles I can buy for that total amount. And he’s recommending some amazing bottles, and that’s going to come out about a week from now. We’re going to go from retailer to retailer because I think one of the key things that frustrate me and other wine buyers I know is “how do I buy it?” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard from listeners and readers they’re psyched to try this thing we recommended, but they can’t find it online. And the existing platforms that are out there are not great, so as a consumer I think it’s especially frustrating to buy wine online. And we’re not a retailer, but we can help consumers by telling them about cool bottles they can buy online. I think helping to solve that through a variety of articles that we’re doing — we have a cool one coming out about limited-edition whiskey releases — will lead to a better fall for a lot of people that are going to be stuck inside and bored and they want to be buying the same crap that they’re buying on Wine.com all the time.

Z: I was just going to say that. I think that Erica’s point is a really good one, and it feeds back into this problem that we’re going to be facing with restaurants being much less able to be that point of discovery. It’s already been greatly diminished because of Covid and then maybe has been floating along with outdoor dining. Maybe you can get introduced to some new things in that capacity but that’s why all these conversations feed into and of one another in that were facing a crisis of consolidation in the industry where so much of the purchasing, especially in times like this, is run through a few narrow channels and those channels are dominated by large brands and distributors and I’m excited to hear that we’re interested in continuing to try to provide people with some alternatives or at least if you’re going to work within those big national channels giving some options that are not the stayed set of options that dominant those shelves. I think it’s very true that there’s a lot of desire for people to continue to discover and maybe bring those gatherings around a sporting event or other events from listeners to showcase to your friends some of the things that you have discovered. Whether with our help or someone else’s help, there’s possibility here, but it’s going to take work.

A: You know where to reach us: podcast@vinepair.com. You can tell us what you have been drinking. The fall is going to be very interesting. I think we’re going to see how everything evolves and will continue to discover new things; in the summer I think we saw that they did. People turned back to old cocktails they maybe haven’t made in a while. We also saw that people made new cocktails. We saw that people jumped on board with different kinds of wines, and I think that discovery hopefully will continue, and hopefully people will find it easier to do with new tools like our new column that Erica said we’re launching. Because I think we have to go into the fall as positive as possible otherwise it’s just going to be all doom and gloom of “we had these three months of sunshine and warmth and everyone going to the beach and now we’re back to those months in Covid” and I hope we can go in as positive as possible, especially because this election season is going to be brutal.

Z: Yeah there’s enough negativity that’s going to be out there.

A: It’s going to be brutal. If we can, then hopefully we can make it out of this thing as soon as possible, and I think we all have to be advocates for restaurants and bars that are struggling. Try to help them as much as you can. Talk to your lawmakers, encourage them to set up funding for them, because if not, people are going to get desperate. I’m from a college town, and I’ve seen recently that the college that I’m from has opened back up, and I’m nervous about it, because my parents are still down there — even though they’re retired from being professors — but the one bar over the weekend was packed. Way over capacity, and I don’t want to think the bar owner is a bad actor, I just want to think at this point they’re just desperate. They need to make money, and no one else is helping them. It’s a lot easier to follow the regulations if people are helping you and no one is really reaching out so help as much as you can because if not it’s not going to be a beautiful lovely fall.

E: I was looking at the State Liquor Authority for New York, and already 162 business’ liquor licenses have been suspended. There’s been like 900 other violations, and I think that for the operators that are open, they’re really desperate. And if you look at the list of violations, it’s for indoor bar service, walk-up service, no mask enforcement, people not socially distanced, operators are doing what they can to stay afloat, and sometimes that means they are taking chances that maybe they shouldn’t be, but it’s a desperate situation.

A: It is. And this is totally off topic, but one of my other pet peeves is when your server comes to your table, put your f***ing mask on. I’ve seen so many servers that I’m friends with saying at this point it’s ridiculous. They’re wearing theirs to protect you, you should wear yours to protect them. I get it if they surprise you out of nowhere, fine, but when you’re ready to order put your f***ing mask on. Show them the same courtesy that they’re showing you, and that they legally have to show you, and you should legally have to show them. That’s my other pet peeve.

Z: Otherwise, you’re not really much better than that guy that drove up to the restaurant and screamed at the hostess, you’re just a little quieter.

A: Right. And fine, you wore it to get seated, but then all bets are off. Covid doesn’t go away because you’ve been seated at your table. Everyone is aware of it, and if we’re all aware of it, then the number will stay low. So be courteous, and show them a little gratitude, and be a kind person. It’s really stressful what they’re doing, and they’re doing it because they also need to make a living, and they have a job that doesn’t let them work from home. And we’ll get through the fall, it’ll be great. I’m really excited about fall, actually.

Z: It’s going to be a weird one, but hopefully some good.

A: I always like fall.

E: I do, too.

Z: You are definitely a fall guy.

A: Summer is my favorite season, but I would say fall is a close second.

E: Fall is my favorite, I love fall.

Z: I’m a spring guy, but that’s just me.

A: Really?

Z: I think it’s because I don’t find baseball boring. I love baseball.

A: Baseball is so boring, but that explains a lot about you. Were you like the kid that kept stats on the players? You totally did.

Z: I’m not going to say no.

A: I just never could get into baseball, it’s just so boring.

Z: It’s for refined palates only. It’s the Cognac of sports. When you’re an adult, Adam, you’ll appreciate it.

A: It’s amazing that you brought it full circle into our ad. Bartenders, enter the Cognac connection challenge to win a $1,000 cash stipend. Deadline is Sept. 7. Go to cognacconnection.com to enter and for details. Zach is now going to submit a baseball-themed Cognac cocktail. With that being said, it’s been another fun one, and we’ll see you back here next week.

E: See you then.

Z: Sounds great.

A: Thanks so much for listening to the VinePair Podcast. If you enjoy listening to us every week, please leave us a review or rating on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever it is that you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show. Now, for the credits. VinePair is produced and hosted by Zach Geballe, Erica Duecy, and me: Adam Teeter. Our engineer is Nick Patri and Keith Beavers. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder Josh Malin and the rest of the VinePair team for their support. Thanks so much for listening and we’ll see you again right here next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Will Bars Survive This Fall? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/will-bars-survive-this-fall/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/628067301055414272

[retro-pure-jdonica]

Chapter 10

Almost thirty minutes before J.D. said he would pick me up for the Sock Hop, the door bell rings. It can't be J.D., but nonetheless I rush down the stairs and open the door. Looking out the front door, I see all three Heathers standing on the porch in their party dresses.

"Veronica, may we come in?" Heather Chandler asks. I respond 'sure' and they all three step inside.

"Veronica, who is it?" My mother shouts from the couch.

"It's just the Heathers, mother." I reply.

"Oh goodie, is this what your wearing?" Heather Chandler asks as she looks at my light blue plaid patterned dress. I put on a white belt to accentuate my waist right above where my petticoat flares out my dress. I wore a pearl necklace and a pearl broach in my hair, which I had hoped would gain the approval and admiration of a Heather.

"Yes, is it alright?" I ask.

"Yes, it looks quite nice. Well, we better be going. Heather McNamara need to rush us back to our houses before our dates get there. Bye Veronica." Heather Chandler smiles before walking back out of my front door, Heather Duke and Heather McNamara trailing behind her.

"Veronica, come here a moment." My mother requests so I walk into the living room where she is sitting on the couch, sewing up a hole in one of her aprons. "You are going to this dance with Jason, correct?"

"Yes mother, is that still alright?" I ask, feeling slightly pressured to. I know I shouldn't go to dances or go on dates with boys that mother and father do not approve of, but I really like J.D. and mother and father don't exactly like him that much.

"Yes." She smiles, looking up from her work. I smile back before walking upstairs and into my room. I sit down in my dressing table chair, to prevent wrinkles in my dress that may appear if I were to sit down on my bed, and continue my crocheting to waste time before J.D. arrives.

At 6:55, five minutes before I told J.D. to arrive, I decide to slip on my shoes over my socks and walk downstairs to wait. "You look nice, Veronica." My father compliments me as I walk into the living room.

"Why, thank you." I smile. I fiddle with my purse as I wait for a ring at the door. After a couple minutes, a ringing sound echoes throughout the nearly silent house.

"That must be J.D.." I tell my parents.

"Have fun, Veronica." Mother says as I walk out of the living room. I open the door to see J.D. wearing another casual suit of his.

"Hello." I greet J.D. as I step out on the porch.

"You look absolutely divine." J.D. smiles as he slowly looks up and down, making me blush.

"Thank you." I reply as I close the front door behind me.

"We're going to start having to plan events where we don't have to dress up, I only own two suits." J.D. laughs as we walk down the driveway to his motorbike.

"I know. Trust me, I much prefer you in leather, but I think you may be looked at quite funny if you came to a dance in blue jeans." I say with a giggle as I, with some difficulty in my dress and petticoat, sit down behind J.D. on the bike.

"Well that's definitely a good thing. Hold on tight." J.D. replies before driving off to Rosie's. When we arrive, the Sock Hop is already going strong. The Heather and I decided to come at 7:00 even though the dance starts at 6:30 so that it's not awkwardly lonely.

J.D. parks in the parking lot and then we enter the diner. We slip off our shoes and place them on one of the multiple tables placed right by the front door with small signs that read 'shoes' sitting on them. Instead of a jukebox, music is coming from a record player with a very large speaker that sits near the back of the restaurant. I almost instantly spot Heather Chandler and her older man, Tommy Miller, dancing near the edges of the floor.

"J.D., have you ever been to a dance before?" I ask him as we walk onto the dance floor. He doesn't exactly seem like the dance crazy type.

"I went to the homecoming dance at my school last year, and by went to I mean I stood in the gymnasium for a few minutes, became uncomfortable, and then left." He responds, causing me to giggle. "But I did watch one whole episode of American Bandstand in preparation for tonight, so I should be alright." J.D. continues before lifting my hand above our heads and spinning me around.

"Well, I think you'll do just fine."

***

About an hour into the dance, whoever is in charge of music puts on a slower song. All of the dance partners move much closer together, including me and J.D.. I rest my head on his shoulder and he wraps one of his arms most of the way around my back. We sway back and forth for a few minutes until the song ends and is followed by a much more up beat and faster song.

As I straighten back up, I suddenly feel myself become very tired which causes me to yawn. "Are you getting tired?" J.D. asks and I nod. "We can leave soon if you want to." He offers.

"Could we go ahead and leave now?" I ask. He happily responds 'sure' so we step off of the dance floor to go put our shoes back on.

"Is everything okay, or are you simply just tired?" J.D. asks as we walk out the door and over to his motorcycle.

"I'm just tired." I respond as he sits down on his motorcycle.

"Alright then, let's go back to your house." J.D. smiles as I sit down behind him on the bike. I wrap my arms tightly around his torso as he drives out of the diner parking lot and back to my house.

"J.D., may I ask you a question?" I ask J.D. as we walk up to my front door, realizing how vague I'm being as I speak.

"Of course, what is it?" J.D. says as we sit down on my front porch swing. He wears a smile but his eyes show nervousness.

"When I called you earlier this week, just after the diner, I asked you if you were alright and you said to not worry about it. What was wrong?" I question him. I can tell he's getting more nervous because he starts moving his feet, causing us to rock back and forth in the swing. "Y-you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Once I left your house, I was quite scared that your parents wouldn't approve of me and I wouldn't be able to see you anymore. The thought of not being able to see you made me upset too. How you heard me on the phone, my voice was like that because I had been, um, upset." J.D. explains, and I understand that he was hinting around the idea that he had been crying.

"I-I'm so sorry. If there's anything you ever want to talk about, please just call me or come by my house and we can talk." I inform him. I'm not sure what else I can say so I wrap my arms around him in a hug.

"Thank you, Ronnie. I'll call you tomorrow, alright?" J.D. says as we stand up from the porch swing.

"Alright. Goodnight J.D.." I respond as I open the front door and step inside.

———————————

Side note explanation about the sock hop- dances were commonly referred to as sock hops because the owners of the building where said dance was happening would have you take your shoes off, as I mentioned, and dance in your socks because they didn’t want to mess up the floors.