#rkyeji

[xyoohyeonrk]

╌、*feeling like failure、

trigger warnings: scolding, verbal fighting, crying .✦｡ﾟ

vibrations of her phone brings yoohyeon out of focus, eyes shifting from the high paced arurf game in front of her and down to the beaming screen that reveals a new text message; it’s all that is needed for yoohyeon to be executed in-game, a minor distraction that quickly lead to a serious misplacement on her behalf. “oh, fuck...” the curse came out as a mere breath as she picks up the device that ultimately became the cause of her death, only to read through all the incoming messages and realise that they all need a proper answer and thus, her full attention -- that of which, she cannot give right now. too much is at stake and for once, yoohyeon found a team that can actually work together. she leaves her mum on read, using the remaining few last seconds to complete her in-game purchases.

✉ 📲 ▸ TEXT RECEIVED FROM  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 3 )

▸ our yoohyeonie~ how are you, sweetie? ♥ ▸ listen, our refrigerator broke down… can you send ￦40,000? ▸ you know that i wouldn’t ask if we had any other choice.    message read ! ▸ yoohyeon-ah? please answer me.    message read !

another text rolls in soon after but yoohyeon has already lost herself into what might, or might not, be the last team fight of the current game. with her screen unlocked, and messaging app open, she accidentally leave the newest message on read also. it is only a matter of seconds anyway so she figures that it won’t really matter. one kill down, two kills down, three kills down before someone manages to stop yoohyeon from wiping out the entire team, fed as she is she unfortunately has a counterpart in the opposite team’s midlaner-- but it isn’t at all enough, they manage to beat down the nexus so low that there is no returning now. while yoohyeon is dead and currently out of the game, her pulse is high as she watch her team mates destroy what is left of the other team’s nexus and secure their victory.

“YES!!!” she practically yells at the screen in front of her, after fourty minutes of intense battle they are finally done and managed to win the game. for a moment there yoohyeon forgot that she does, in fact, live with someone. somewhat embararssed by her outburst, she is glad that naeun is out for another few hours training at kt ent.

✉ 📲 ▸ TEXT SENT TO  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 2 )

▸ i’m sorry, mum~ i was in the middle of something~~~ ▸ but i don’t have any more right now, i already gave you everything that i could… ㅠㅠ

satisfied with the victory, yoohyeon brings her chair backwards to lean back in a more relaxed position. she figures that she most probably will be texting her mum from this point of, and it’s pointless to head back into the arurf queue. instead, she changes the game mode to play one last game for the day, lining up for a more chilled game of teamfight tacticts. what she did not take into consideration however, was that her mum might have wanted to call her instead and that is precisely what happens next. moments after yoohyeon accept the matchup, her phone vibrates once again to now reveal an incoming call. she sighs, she’s too tired to converse like this after a full weekend of dancing and having had a full day of work today, but she picks up the call nonetheless. she knows better than to not.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:09 )

yoohyeon: hey, mum~ i’m sorry that i took so long to respond, i wa--

byeol: yoohyeon-ah, what do you mean ‘you don’t have any money’? you just got paid on the 15th, didn’t you? what about that savings account of yours? i know that you are smart enough to not have emptied that already. right? please, i’m not asking for much.

being cut short is not something that yoohyeon is used to and immediately, she notice that it’s uncharacteristically done so by her mum. completely taken aback she remains mute, and she listen to the manipulation that she has yet to realise takes place. a sense of panic hits her, the request is far from grand but there is absolutely no way that she can oblige--  her savings are gone and she won’t be paid for another month. of course, she has enough to pay for rent and food throughout the month of february, but not a dime more than that. if she gave up any more then she would go hungry and while that is something she often do for her family when they’re in need, that is something she has been doing for the past few months already. for once, she could use the satisfaction of being properly fed herself.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:16 )

yoohyeon: i… i– ah, mum, it’s empty. i’m sorry– i’ll work extra hard this month!

byeol: how is it empty, ah? have you wasted your money? what did you waste it on, huh?

her offer is immediately disregarded and yoohyeon suddenly feels attacked when the tone of speech directed at her, is changed to a more hostile approach. she does realise that working extra hard this coming month won’t help them with the current dilemma, she does realise that they need a new refrigerator as soon as yesterday. how can she help, she wonder. perhaps it was foolish of her to buy those gym clothes, thoughts around the decision weighing her down like the worst call of her life. she couldn’t possibly have foreseen this happen though, that her parents’ refrigerator so happened to break down the very month she wanted to spoil herself-- ever since her birthday in january, yoohyeon has mustered the courage to think about herself for once and this is how she is repaid by fate. with shame.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 00:29 )

yoohyeon: i– i didn’t waste it! i haven’t bought anything in so long but i asked my friend. hwang yeji, remember her? i asked her to teach me how to dance, i needed gym wear fo…

byeol: you wasted your savings on clothes?! don’t you have enough clothes already, ah? i can’t believe how selfish you are, i didn’t raise you like this! what are we going to do now? how are we going to live without a refrigerator– i’m so disappointed in you, i really counted on you for this, yoohyeon-ah!

yoohyeon stopped caring about the game before she even arrived to the first carousel, there’s absolutely no way around defeat and she already know that as she head into round three with minions. having mindlessly sold her first champion for gold and bought everything on roll, she has somehow manged to put together a team of three lights regardless of being scolded by a unreasonably angry mother. during the first half of a teamfight tacticts game she isn’t required to think very much and that alone is the sole reason she can keep from forgeiting already. she cannot for the bare life of her understand where the anger comes from, her heart beating fast as though her life is at stake due to another rush of panic. all yoohyeon wanted by buying the clothes was to pat herself on the shoulder, she deserved it.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:15 )

yoohyeon: i didn’t– ah, i’m sorry… but… what about yookwon oppa? can he contribute?

byeol: how dare you suggest such a thing? you know that your brother is busy. yookwon doesn’t need the added stress right now. 

as if yoohyeon needs the added stress right now, but she doesn’t mention that. it would be as useless to voice aloud as it would be to bring up the winter singer contest that she so bravely signed up for, and not to mention the second chance to audition with sphere entertainment. it would only anger her mum even more if she so much as brought highlight to that, and the fact that she turned down the offer for the sake of her family. all of this being a reason why she did decide that she could use a little something, a little prize for stepping out of her comfort zone-- performing for a live crowd, alone, is scary enough as it is, and then to turn down a company that possibly regretted letting her go in the first place... yoohyeon thought she earned the right to pamper herself. after all, she turned down her dream, for them.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:22 )

yoohyeon: ah, yeah... you’re right... i’m sorry, mum... what can i do?

byeol: nothing, apparently, other than playing your idiotic games and having fun like you have no worries in the world-- don’t think that i can’t hear that mouse of yours clicking like your goddamn life depends on it. you should be ashamed of yourself, behaving like a brat without a single care for her family when they are in need!

immediately she lets go of the mouse, her heart skipping a of beat with such a brute force that she is pained by it. shock turns into confusion, confusion turns into ruin. she wants to cry.

allgedly, yoohyeon doesn’t care for her family. working two part time jobs and sending money home every month obviously doesn’t count for helping out, and neither does going hungry for days on end just to make sure that her parents and yoorim is fed properly. applying for jobs at any given time isn’t good enough either, despite recendly landing herself a new full time job at the escape room in gangnam with a steady income. she is speechless by the accusations and that of an order to be ashamed of herself-- for what, exactly...? for spending money on herself for once? for a moment she is willing to accept that her mum is right but no, she isn’t. concern, anxiety and devastation is rapidly replaced with her own anger. after everything that yoohyeon has done for her family, she does not deserve this treatment.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:41 )

yoohyeon: as if i haven’t done enough for you already! working my ass off, every day, to keep you guys from troubles whenver things get rough, even if it means that i have to go hungry. have you ever thought about that, huh? have you?! and this one time, mum... just this one time, i wanted to pamper myself because i deserved it. you don’t even know what i’ve been through lately. you don’t even know... 

byeol: yooheon-ah, calm down! what are you sa--

it feels like such a waste at this point and yoohyeon gasps for air, trying her very best to keep from hiccuping through whines that manages to escape. she can’t recall the last time that she cried and while some tears can be good and healthy, this one admittedly pains her more than anything else ever has. the mixture of pure agony and betrayal breaks her right there, on the phone with the person that she usually woud seek comfort when upset. once again, she’s so incredibly glad that naeun is out training, but for a different reason; she sobs loudly, her hand reaching up to cover a tear stained cheek as though hiding from the world-- not that it helps in any way or form, the damage has already been done. her game is long forgotten, and for all she cares she has already been taken enough damage to be out.

📞 📲 ▸ CALL ONGOING  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 01:58 )

yoohyeon: i can’t help you this time, mum. get the money from somewhere else!

📞 📲 ▸ CALL DISCONNECTED  ━━━━   엄마 ━ ( 02:07 )

she doesn’t allow for a proper response, this time being the one to cut her mum short instead. sweat breaks through the fabric of her t-shirt as she finally end the call without so much as a good bye, immediately burrying her face in both hands as she weeps into the damp palms. it doesn’t feel good to cry this time, it isn’t at all a good cry. yoohyeon feels completely at loss, whatever is she going to do now? with this being the first fight that she has ever had with her mum, she suddenly realise that she don’t know how things will be after this. it doesn’t matter that her mum is trying to call her back now-- not once, not twice, not thrice. yoohyeon can’t hear it through her whimpers, not that she would have picked up anyway. it doesn’t matter that she texts her to apologise. the damage has certainly been done.

[rkmason]

crown

he should’ve brought more flowers on his first that, that’s for sure. how it slipped his mind, minho isn’t sure but it was his belief that he ought to thank them first, especially when he felt like he didn’t properly do so the last time they met. the time together had been brief, more so than the time the trc team spent together, but it was a memory he wouldn’t soon forget. over the next few days, it’d taken him some time to get things together but he had more gifts ready. this time around, it was for the members of the trc team and yeji was his first target. 

during the trc team’s final stage, he and hyunggu had placed flower crowns of black roses on their heads. this time around, he wanted to commemorate the occasion with something else. he couldn’t be sure but at least it looked like she likes the color red at the least. a crown of gold hidden behind his back, adorned meticulously [read as he burnt himself a couple times with a borrowed glue gun and had no idea what he was doing but the end result was great and that’s all that really matters, right] with red roses, he quietly sneaks up behind her on the way to a dance workshop, whispering boo near her ear once she’s close enough. hopefully, she doesn’t scream but he wouldn’t mind either. what’s a treat without a trick? [wrong season but who cares] 

[memoriesofyccjungrk]

▶    god is a woman - ariana grande / choi yoojung choreography

published on october 27, 2019

before the mgas were even an idea, i got the chance to perform with one of the winners !! i knew from the start that hwang yeji was going to be something amazing, and i’m so glad that i got to work with her ~ she’s such a sweetheart, and deserves everything she’s managed to get so far. we worked hard together, and i knew she’d be a great trainee if that was ever what she wanted to pursue. i hope she gets the chance to live out her dreams ~ make sure to check out her social media below ~

                                                 READ MORE

[xrksyn]

╌ღ shattered dreams 、

         throwback to mid / late december 2018          trigger warnings: implied bullying, crying

it’s lunch time, but soyeon has absolutely no appetite for food. so much has happened in such short a time span and the absolute shock of it still has her sick to her stomach, it was like only one snap of two fingers and then suddenly her life was turned upside down-- all the hard work that she put into her dream of debuting, it was all gone and she could do nothing about it. she was so close, only to be torn away from the very finish line; it broke her, it broke her to pieces.

as if that wasn’t enough, soyeon return to school, only to be picked on; as per usual. only now, they keep bringing up that of her latest failure. you’re so ugly they cancelled you, huh? it’s not like soyeon could ever disclose the true reason either. she thinks she’s alone in the bathroom, though trying her very best to keep the weeping quiet, just in case someone may barge in. but it’s hard to keep such strong feelings on the inside; whimpers, hiccups, and cries, escapes.

╌ starter for, @rkyeji、

[rkchaeryeong]

@rkyeji

There she was, standing in front of the TRC building. For the first time as a trainee. An actual trainee! A busy, packed schedule and adventure ahead, Chaeryeong was more than excited for this, ignoring how possibly exhausting this could become on the long run.

Luckily she wasn't facing this alone, as Yeji and her had agreed to meet up as they'd been offered contracts for the same company. Chae had heard some things about daily life as a trainee, specifically as a trc trainee, and she'd be lying if she said it'd be a piece of cake anyway. At the same time she wasn't too worried either. The packed schedule, leaving little free time, the high expectations of basically everyone around her and herself and all of that couldn't stop her thundering motivation, she was sure, as long as she'd go about it with enough logic and planning.

She'd gotten this far, she'd go further.

In thought, she twirled her ponytail around, a choice she thought would fit best for the day as she had her hair out of her face and it couldn't get in the way, until she spotted Yeji.

“Hello!” she greeted, her smile showing her teeth, “are you ready to go in?” her question might have been a bit weirdly timed, skipping all questions of how the other was feeling, whether she was nervous or anything more polite like that, but she was just that impatient. How unusual for her.

[rkpjy]

⭐️MGA 5 EPISODE 3 ↪ perfoming romanticism by leo with @rkjeonghxn outfit inspiration: x  x line distribution & times: x 

it’s always easier to move on to the next round when there are a lot of contestant. the fewer they become and the harder the choices will be for the five ceos. there’s undoubtedly a lot of raw talent in this room, some maybe more polished than others, some mostly relying on their popularity and star factor. the latter can’t be downplayed of course, as there’s no reason to have skill in the first place if people aren’t interested in you or want to follow you. still, it’s always a little annoying to see such people get by with minimal talent.

soon after jinyoung returned to his seat following his interview, the entire set falls silent. everyone’s eyes are glued to the judging panel, waiting for the dreaded moment when they will announce the results. his newly found acquaintance changbin is nominated as the top rapper, which comes to no surprise to jinyoung, but it’s choi minho who takes the win. unlike a lot of people here, jinyoung doesn’t feel any type of way for that guy. despite his best friend being in convex, he knows very little about the group and what kind of drama happened that led to the rapper’s departure. he’s not a hater nor is he a fan, and although he didn’t dislike his performance, he wouldn’t have gave him the win either.

he keeps a straight face throughout the eliminations, just quietly wishing not to be on that list when the singer’s turn comes. the top 3 dancers are called to the stage, and he recognizes hwang yeji from that one day at the hospital. they haven’t spoken since and he wishes her well. she’s a pretty good dancer despite her young age, but so is lee chaeryeong. as for suwoong, well, it’s not a question of talent really, but more his personality that jinyoung can’t quite figure out. he’s satisfied with yeji’s win, just as he is satisfied with heejin’s win later on. there was a slight disappointment about not making the top 3 but then again, he still believes he performed the best he could. for someone as obsessed with perfect as he is, it’s hard to accept average results, but he’s a good sport. heejin, as he’s noted multiple times already, is a very good singer. he wonders if she can dance well too, because if she does then she’s almost guaranteed to go to the end. her looks are very idol-like, not to mention she’s young.

joohyun was probably the most surprising elimination for jinyoung. he knew she made a mistake, they all did, and it’s unexpectedly fair that they wouldn’t favor her due to her past participations and already established level of popularity. she’s one of the known contestants here that everyone talks about to the point where jinyoung also knows about it, and even if don’t want to show bias, maybe he thought they would show more leniency towards someone they know, and he now stands corrected. there is no second chance in this competition, and no room for weakness.

he applauds heejin’s win with a proud smile, and it’s probably the first time anyone will have caught him looking so pleased since the very first audition. he’s also happy for sihyeon who’s finally been recognized for her talent. it’s kind of funny how some of those who changed categories managed to survive unlike those who truly wanted to show their best skill. in hindsight, it was pretty clever of them to do so and jinyoung wonders if this was calculated on their part. he doubts so for daniel, who probably just innocently wanted to show another side of himself. but that’s if he’s still the same person he knew all those years ago in busan. maybe he’s changed, like jinyoung did.

he doesn’t care much for the following eliminations, as nobody he knows has been sent home. instead, he pays close attention to what is said next. they are to be paired off in duos and present a neat performance showing not only talent but also teamwork. and it’s probably what he dreads most as of now. it’s not as easy for him to get along with people as much as he’d like, and depending on who he ends up with, this assignment might be his first real challenge. he doesn’t necessarily want to be with a friend, however, because it doesn’t always mean it will lead to a good performance. he ends up with yoon jeonghan.

they’re not friends per say, but they do know of each other and have worked together in the past on musical productions. jinyoung is very enthusiastic at the idea of performing with someone who has talents and tastes similar to his, but it can also be an obstacle in the end. they can’t put up something too expected. it’ll be boring to watch for everyone.

that’s the subject they talk about when they first meet up for practice. “since they know we’re both passionate about musicals, i don’t think we should choose that type of song. what do you think?” he asks jeonghan who promptly agrees. they’re both aware they need to showcase something different, more creative and challenging. something that will throw the judges off, hopefully in a good way. they spend a while just searching online, or scrolling down their playlists in order to find the perfect fit. and after going through several choices, they finally decide on romanticism by leo. the key is to make all the right changes to the choreography and harmonies so it looks and sounds as if it was meant for two people instead of just one. they need to be in complete unison, and not just seem like two individuals performing the same song at the same time.

their first practice consists of making these arrangements and going through them a couple times to see if they fit well, and deciding on the parts they’ll each sing. they both agree to practice on their own whenever they have free time, then meet together every day for several hours so they can put it all together. it just won’t work if they both work separately.

while jinyoung criticizes a lot, he’s also very open to criticism himself. as long as it’s nothing insulting, he believes this is the only way one will grow, and not with fake praises. if he sucked, he wants to know. if he does one movement wrong, he wants to know so he can fix it. if jeonghan feels it would be better if they switched one part because it sounds off, he’ll be open to the idea. what he finds exhausting is those who are too scared to make any kind of negative comment, or who take everything too personal. they’re impossible to work it, not to mention annoying. it’s all meant to enhance the performance. the judges won’t chose the best out of the two of them. so either they win together, or fail together. it doesn’t matter if one sings five seconds more, as long as it makes the whole thing better.

it’s surprisingly easy to work with jeonghan, and jinyoung comes home at night almost with a spring in his step, telling mina about how practice is going with a lot more details than usual. he’s optimistic, hopeful. if it were to suddenly come crashing down....

the two men sit next to each other, and jinyoung can’t help but notice there’s so few of them compared to the first episode. sixty chairs have disappeared since then. he remains exactly like the second episode, face stoic as he watched the first few duos perform on stage. the only moments he stops being a statue is in-between performances, as he leans over to jeonghan and whispers things inaudible to cameras, about what he liked and didn’t like.

yugyeom goes before with him, with a contestant called do kyungsoo, and he honestly has no idea what to expect when they first start. it seems like they managed to use each other’s strength and make up for the other’s weakness quite well, and jinyoung hopes it’s enough for them to make it through. some of the duos make unexpected yet good pairs, and some match so well it’s almost boring. he wonders if this will be the case for jeonghan and him, although they didn’t go for a musical number. are their skills too similar? but it’s not like they can suddenly pretend one of them can rap either, so there’s nothing they can do about it if they were put together.

they go near the end, with only three duos left after them. they both bring a chair to the center of the stage and sit on them after introducing themselves. the original artist has a very specific way of dancing, that makes every movement look smooth but not sloppy, and sensual but not sexual. there’s a fine line they can’t cross, and jinyoung does feel like they got in down after hours and hours of practice. jeonghan starts off the song with his first lines.

In my mind you’re my lord, the reality is not close enough You’re my one You’re my one

jinyoung parts his legs in a swift motion as the dance obliges, and because there are no backdancers, instead of gesturing to his empty side, he briefly cups jeonghan’s chin instead, making it one of a several modifications to the original choreography. it’s not hard to imagine he’s singing to his girlfriend right now, and wishing she was the one dancing with him. jeonghan and him aren’t exactly flirting together, their actions more inclined to the audience, but there still needs to be a connection between them, a sensuality that can be felt all the way to the very back of the studio. I see through your body, The sign that gets my sensitivity wet Your eyes are chasing after my movement As if saying come after you

in the middle of this verse they both stand up, leaving their chairs behind for the time being. the way they arranged this part suits the lyrics well. it’s as if they’re also chasing each other, delivering their lines back and forth like one echoes the other, and as jeonghan finishes it, jinyoung prepares for the chorus. two minutes isn’t long at all, and after this they’re jumping straight to the bridge so the transition isn’t too cut and dry. Dive-in for me at this moment, make me shiver one time Romanticism in our world together now Let’s feel it romantically, together now

the dance gets more intense and demanding, but they’ve arranged for them to sing half of it together, harmonizing each other. jinyoung’s gaze is piercing, and he has fun flirting with the crowd. there are a lot of parts in this song where they rub their chest, their face or roll their hips, and there’s a risk to make it look cheap and very cringe-worthy if they’re not careful, so they made sure to tell the other whenever it was too much, or not enough. they want to mesmerize the audience, not turn it off.  Piece of you for just one moment Feel me from now on

Let’s feel it sensually, together now Girl you know I’m watching you together now

they had to cut the last chorus in half to fit in the time requirement, but in the end it doesn’t really matter since they jump next into the other half which is kind of a nice follow-up and uses the same lyrics. they sing most of it together, dancing in sync.

together now.

[rkyuna]

⁺   𝗠𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗚𝗟𝗢𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗨𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦❺ THE CALLBACKS   ━━  𝖳𝖧𝖤𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪

                              ●  ●  ●   ━━━━━━━━━━   신유나   ₊

interviews always have her on her nerves. sometimes she doesn’t know what to say, and other times -- she says too much. but this time, armored with ammunition of the latest performances, yuna has a lot to say. 

                       𝗤   ⟨  A CALLBACK, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN EXCITING.                                   HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GOT THE EMAIL  ⟩  !

she comes off more casual than she was -- a little more cool, dusting off the bright smile from earlier with one of ease and nonchalance. even though just days before she had been panicked and manic over not seeing the email ( because it had been slotted in her dark social folder rather than her primary folder -- stupid gmail ), she wasn’t going to come off eager. no, she wanted to come off cool and collected. a level-headed girl who just wanted fame, fortune, and lots and lots of fans. that was level-headed, right? “it was to be expected. i had a really good feeling about my audition up until the end so i wasn’t really afraid i wasn’t going to make it. being in front of the judges, today, though, did get me a little ...” she pauses, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks as she reveals a little too much, the confidence withering away as the excitement of being on stage in front of all those famous ceos became more than apparent on her young face. “speechless? it was really cool to be in front of someone as amazing as baek jiyoung.”

             𝗤   ⟨  SO, WE GOT A QUOTE FROM YOUR COUSIN, @rkkhg,                            AND HE SAID THAT HE HATED YOUR PERFORMANCE.                                    DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT?                                        DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR PERFORMANCE BAD  ⟩  !

that motherfucker. yuna immediately feels her muscles tighten as she tries to calm the twitch she feels starts to tremble along her eyebrow. “hyunggu oppa said that?” she says through a tensed grin, all the while keeping her smile intact despite the fact that she can immediately feel her blood boil. “oh, my cousin -- he’s so, so, so funny.” and yuna laughs for good measure ; trying not to grit her teeth as she passes off a roll of her eyes with a blink, instead. “such a comedian. but no --” her grin relaxes, rolling her shoulders back as she looks dead on to the camera. “ i don’t believe my performance was bad. sure, it could have been better but can’t you say that for a majority of the other performances here?” yuna shrugs, “i believe i gave them something original. and that alone makes it better than that same majority of other performances.”

                                 𝗤   ⟨  I SEE. SO OF THE MAJORITY, WHICH WERE                                                          THE ONES THAT YOU DIDN’T LIKE  ⟩  !

“there was one guy -- i forget his name, i think it was h - h- something ... @rkharuto? he was hilarious. when he finished his stage, he fell on the floor. i felt so bad for him -- especially after that performance. man, i thought his performance was really cool but i guess off skates he’s not as smooth. and i mean, he ... skated and this is a competition scouting for idols ... like, how do those two even correlate? if you wanted to skate, you should’ve joined the x games, kiddo.” she shakes her head, fingers tapping along her arms as she keeps them crossed against her chest. 

“as for my cousin -- he says that i was terrible. he should recheck his prescription because his performance wasn’t all that either. oppa has to do so much better if he thinks that was impressive.  he’s a great dancer, i know it and i’m sure he knows it but we all also know that he sucked.” yuna shrugs, as if ready to tick another one off her list as she continues on.

she laughs, a little, at least -- “i also didn’t know they still allowed grandpas into the competition. isn’t @rkmason like prehistoric at this point? sure, he’s also a good dancer but don’t you think you should give it a rest, 할비. sure, i liked his song and sure he’s good looking but -- eh, eh.” she stares, another finger down. 

“and c’mon, the callbacks are supposed to be exciting but some people were just so boring. like that @rkheejin chick, news-flash! that song is so overplayed back in the states, and the acoustic-cute girl singing about unrequited love is really last season.” she sniffs, as if ready to cry for the actual sadness she felt for her. heejin was cute, super cute but if yuna was being honest. she might’ve stifled a yawn here and there. 

there was another girl, the moment she had set eyes on her, yuna had felt ill. her hair, oh lord -- why would anyone do that to themselves. “kim @jungeunxrk?” yuna scoffs, “two words. botched dye-job. i honestly don’t know how anyone could concentrate on her performance when she came in looking like she over-fried her hair. bleached blonde, more like botched blonde.” she says the last sentence in english. “oh, but we’re supposed to talk about their performance ... i guess she was nice.” 

“ @rkjeongin is a friend of mine and i honestly was rooting for him.” honestly meaning slightly and rooting for him aka secretly plotting his demise. ( she’s half-kidding, but still ) “and i mean, props for doing a girl group song but jeongin, please, if you’re going to do a girl group song, don’t butcher the dance moves. i do hope he makes it on, though, even if he did do ... that.” she even has the audacity to spare a embarrassed smile on his behalf.

the interviewer stares at her, as if begging her to be down and yuna just shakes her head; already knocking down another finger. “@rksuwoong, love korean culture and props to you for being ‘edgy’ and ‘lost in the times’ and all but trot is dead. end of story.”

there was one guy, though. that she couldn’t have helped but be jealous over. and who was shin yuna if not for the petty, little brat that she was -- and her jealousy had obviously tided over when she finally came to mention him. unfortunately, it was all because she enjoyed his song too well, that she couldn’t help but criticize it. “@moonbokrk, song choice -- bleh. rapping? eh. i mean, could have done better but did he? you answer that, yourself.”

“ @rksihyeon i was actually expecting better. she has the face that you’d think has it but her performance didn’t do it for me. it ... lacked something? i don’t know. can’t put my finger on it, though. nice try, though, she’s pretty, at least.” she nods. another one bite the dust, she whispers to herself. 

she could have cracked her knuckles and she still wouldn’t be done with her list. “and there’s that @rkchris -- i felt like he was trying to be edgy but also indie and like tough? but vulnerable? and it was just too much, like dude ... be simple ..., you’re doing too much.” 

“when i heard the starting tune, i was so ready to fangirl, i love akmu. unfortunately, can’t say the same about @rkumji who sang the song though.”

“and i guess that was just a few people you could say i don’t think will make it.” she wrinkles her nose. 

                              𝗤   ⟨  AND THE REST? WHICH STOOD OUT TO YOU  ⟩  !

“who i think you should root for are definitely kim @rkyeji and shin @ryujinrk. their performances, by far, were the best of the night.” yes, she’s being biased. no, she did not care one bit. shin yuna was a firm believer that since she was amazing, so were her friends and there was no doubt in her mind that when she had seen, first hand, her friends’ performances, she couldn’t be prouder. if she could, she would’ve thrown her shoes at them as celebratory cheers.

“there was one guy that i think did well too,” oddly enough, yuna did have a few compliments to spare. “i think his name was @ericxrk, the one who did ikon’s killing me. his dance break was pretty nice. i enjoyed it.” 

                                                  𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝘘   ⟨  THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME  ⟩ !

“thank you for taking care of me!” she says almost immediately, a bow slung along the way as she’s thanked and the lights shut off and she feels the heat from those lights fade from her cheeks. fingers brush against tendrils as she flips her hair, turning on her heel. another interview down the shoot. 

[rkseung]

190801 INSTAGRAM LIVE  +  @SSEUNGJ…   ❤️ ⟨  ━━  ✖   ⋮    TODAY’S TOPIC: MGA 5 EPISODE 6 LIVE   ⟩

                                            JOINING YOUR LIVE BROADCAST !

she’s done up nice to just be watching a performance - makeup done as precisely as ever as she’s holding up her phone. dark eyes follow the movements of her bright nails clicking up a storm on her phone. seungyeon pulls the camera up, making sure she’s looking camera ready before flipping over to instagram - clicking on the live button as she starts up today’s adventure.

“okay so... anyone have any guesses as to where i am?’ she’s grinning as she speaks, trying to stall a bit while waiting for people to join in. the woman is probably a bit annoying, the way she’s watching nothing but her phone screen, pushing through swarms of people undoubtedly as excited as she is. “finally, someone got it right. welcome to the mga lives!!”

her lively tone draws attention but she ignores the stares, instead taking it upon herself to find a slightly less crowded area up against one of the gates - showing everyone the empty stage behind her with a cheeky grin. “i can’t share much or take pictures, but i’ll give you all the details later. see ya.” she blows the camera a kiss before sending those viewing a quick wave, closing out of instagram and shoving her phone into her back pocket. she knew she’d have lots to talk about later. 

                                                ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

when the woman opens up instagram once again, she’s walking to some restaurant to wait for the uber she called just a few moments ago. seungyeon appears a lot less peppy then she had before - just smiling and greeting whoever joined. “okay so this episode highkey sucked.”

and that isn’t entirely a lie. 

“well... the performances didn’t but i hate that we have to see some people go. talented people!! when they still have some deadbeats up onstage!! it’s frustrating really.” she sighs, rolling her eyes and pushing a hand back through her tangled locks. “that one group.... nova i think it was? yeah, not my favorite surprisingly. i’m not giving anything, but i think i found my soulmate.”

for the first time since her broadcast began, seungyeon is genuinely smiling. “hmmm KENTA his name was? yea, that’s wifey right there.” and since she decided to use that phrase to describe him, she really hopes no one who knows him will tell him this. that would just simply be too much to handle, and ruin his nonexistent image of her. “i also think SEUNGHUN did great this episode, but i suppose i’m a bit biased. those two please stay!!”

“and ahhh YEJI, that’s my girl right there. people who have the audacity to call her bossy can’t handle a strong, talented woman. and that’s the truth.” yeji, being one of seungyeon’s top picks, was hard to ignore - her group did pretty well. 

달콤한 너의 말보단 솔직한 게 필요해 shorty give me whip-whiplash shorty give me whip-whiplash

seungyeon can’t help but the sing the lyrics a bit herself, winking at the camera before continuing. “there’s your sneak peak for the episode, that’s all i can tell you!”

[yujinrk]

OCTOBER 2019 EVALUATION :: AHN YUJIN

[ song // u got it with @jinsoulrk, @rkjuyeon, @rkpcy, @rkyeji and @changminxrk ]

it's fun to be performing with all these familiar faces, yujin thinks. outside of her fellow trainees, there's also her cousin who she hasn't seen in ages. she's always wanted to perform with juyeon, and now she finally has the chance.

that being said, it's a bit of an unusual performance for her. she's done more mature concepts before, but doing them in a group is something else. they're all going through the same thing here, but the fact that she has to practice expressions and putting on a face in front of everyone else is...weird to say the least. 

still, she gets over it. she’s training to be an idol, so if she lets something like this bring her down then might as well quit now (a tempting thought, though). it’s easier to get through it when everyone’s trying their best, and she sure as hell doesn’t want to be the one who slows them down just because she’s unable to stay professional. 

the weeks fly by quickly and before she knows it, she’s standing next to everyone in the stage outfits they’ve prepared. she doesn’t have many lines in the song, but that’s okay. she’s more of a dancer anyway, the others are much better at singing and she’s content with focusing on the choreography. it’s nothing too hard, but it’s the details that matter with songs like these. adjusting her movements so they match the others, adding expressions to each gesture to convey the emotion of the song (which she’s not quite sure about, but she assumes it’s something angsty).

with her role fulfilled, she feels satisfaction, yet something tells her she should be striving for more. her ambition ever since signing with trc has been dwindling, and she’s positive it’s just a matter of fatigue, but what if it isn’t? she doesn’t want to drop out or anything, to disappoint, but she misses her old life so much. never thought she’d ever think this, but she misses going to school. training has been fun and all, but hearing the stories of the senior trainees leaves her wondering, just how long will this go on? a year? two? or will she be an adult by the time anything happens? 

she’s never been one to overthink, but recent events have changed her and...well, maybe she’s worried after all.

[rkxsungwoon-blog]

☆ MGA5 EPISODE TWO ; JULY 4 #5008 HA SUNGWOON ; interview

much like the last episode, the ceos retire to discuss the results of the performances while the contestants are ushered one by one into private rooms to be interviewed on the day’s events. sungwoon wonders if this will become a staple from now on. if so… he’s not entirely sure how to feel—the interviews broadcasted last week were interesting, to say the least. he supposes it adds some excitement to the broadcast along with giving viewers a glimpse into the personalities of the contestants. it also feels like russian roulette, like the producers are waiting for someone to inevitably say something damaging during their interviews and metaphorically shoot themselves in the foot.

but maybe the moment of reflection is a good thing too. sungwoon appreciates getting the chance to reorient, to breathe and consider the day’s events and performances in one go. he never truly struggles to answer, so his complaints are probably less valid than most. rather than being truly worried, he’s eager to get this over with and get to the results. 

when his name is called, sungwoon rises and gives his friends a double thumbs up before following the staff to the interview room. a quick touch up of his hair and makeup later, he’s seated in a familiar chair in front of the interviewer in a set-up not much different from last week. he greets the interviewer with a smile and makes some idle small talk about the weather and how their day is going so far until the cameraman indicates it’s time to begin.

showtime.

so, welcome back, sungwoon. you’ve managed to survive the first cut, but what did you think of the results last week otherwise?

ah. he expected this one. cutting fifty people from the competition at one time is a lot. of course they’d be asked about it. “i didn’t expect there to be quite as many eliminations from the beginning, so it was a little nerve-wracking, to be honest.” sungwoon is grateful his friends survived alongside him, but admitting as much might sound like rubbing salt in the wounds of people who were separated from their friends.

he decides to keep it neutral. “all my predictions for who would make it to the next round came true, though! well, except one.” poor chan. sungwoon really thought he was good, but his opinion doesn’t count for much when it comes to rap. “i guess that disqualifies me as a psychic? unless i make sure to include a disclaimer that there’s a 16% error margin on all predictions?” he laughs, embarrassed as he realizes his mental math might be a little off. “actually, don’t fact check me on that number.” math isn’t his strong suit, but he refuses to be make a fool of himself over numbers on national tv.

shaking his head slightly, he taps his fingers against his knee in thought. “it was disappointing to see so many talented people go home,” sungwoon adds slowly. “but it’s a competition and, well, i have to believe the ceos made the decisions they did for a reason.” they clearly know what they’re doing, and it’s not for him to question them yet. 

how did you feel when you realized you were through to the next round?

“i was relieved, mostly,” sungwoon admits readily. a sigh escapes his lips as he thinks back to the moment his name was called—he’d felt weak and weightless at the same time, even more so when the others made it through safely. sungwoon would like to say he never had any doubts, but that isn’t entirely true. there’s always room for doubt. “i would’ve been mortified to get eliminated so early in the competition.” honestly, he’d be equally mortified to get eliminated now, but it feels unnecessary to add that into his answer. “it also felt right, you know?” he continues with a sheepish smile. “i felt acknowledged by the judges, and that went a long way towards boosting my confidence for today’s performance!”

many people have expressed concern about the number of previous mga contestants participating in this season. as one of the people highlighted as a former contestant during the episode, how does the backlash make you feel?

well, this is one he didn’t expect. of course sungwoon is aware of the backlash—the previous episode literally broadcast one of the contestants’ thoughts on the subject, and the netizens seem united in the opinion that this year has too many old faces. and as one of the old faces, his opinion on the subject should be pretty clear: it sucks, and he doesn’t agree that just because they’ve been on the show before, they have no place on it now. he’s not sure why the interviewers would ask this, unless they’re hoping he gives them something juicy to air? sungwoon is determined to avoid that trap, to think carefully over his response before he gives it.

honesty is the best way to play this, in his opinion. “it’s not the greatest, i’ll admit.” wringing his hands together, he shoots the interviewer a distracted, what can you do, kind of smile before raking his fingers through his hair. “i think it’s disingenuous to act like being on the show one year means we can never come back or to claim we’ve used up our one and only chance. it’s not like we stopped dreaming just because it didn’t work out the first time.” for many, including sungwoon, participating in the mgas increased his desire to stand up on stage.

“i also believe people might be under the impression that we’ve had tons of opportunities for success following the show last year?” being on tv might’ve brought a little bit of localized fame for a brief period of time last year, but all that is gone now, leaving old contestants as forgotten relics of a different time. “but i can tell you that’s not really true—personally, at least. no companies were looking to sign me, and i didn’t have any other prospects.” a bitter pill to swallow, but there it is! he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “compared to a lot of other competitions, the mgas are accessible, so yeah, i gave them a shot again, but because this might be the only way i ever make it. i’m sure others feel the same way.”

god, he said a lot more than he intended to. sungwoon takes a deep breath and shakes his head, forcing a smile he hopes looks natural. “if the new contestants are worried about facing the old ones, well, a little healthy competition never hurt anyone, right?”

i see. moving on, how do you think you did this week?

“like i said, i’m never satisfied.” he feels like this will be a familiar refrain if this question continues to come up again, but it continues to be true. he needs the persistent buzz under his skin, the nagging voice that tells him he can do better. it drives sungwoon to improve, and that’s worth the temporary discomfort. still, his feelings towards today’s stage is largely positive overall. “i know my performance wasn’t as exciting as some of the others. that’s always the risk when you do a ballad, right?” sungwoon was well aware of it from the beginning. “and for once i didn’t play an instrument. that was nerve-wracking, let me tell you.”

he straightens up in his seat. “but i wanted the focus to be on my voice today.” no bells and whistles, just sungwoon showing the judges what he’s capable of. “so i chose to sing a korean song, one that ended up becoming pretty personal for me. i think… i did all i could up on the stage, and i hope it resonated with everyone who listened. that’s all i can really ask for.”

who do you think is the best under each skill?

oh, now that’s an interesting question. sungwoon wouldn’t have been able to answer it last week due to the sheer number of people performing, but after watching the episode and sitting through today’s stages, sungwoon is in a better position to judge the rest of the contestants. the interviewer catches the grin spreading across his face and asks him if he’s thinking of naming himself, to which sungwoon responds “oh, no. no,” with a laugh. he wouldn’t dream of it. “i’ll try not to name only empty enigma members either, but you can’t blame me if a few slip in.”

for singers… sungwoon feels like quite a few of them are strong. this is the only category he feels qualified to talk about at length, in any case. “i think heejin is a strong singer, maybe the strongest in the competition. i enjoy her vocal color, and i think her voice is powerful. she has a strong stage presence too, so i definitely think she’s someone to watch for.” he wants to mention a few other singers as well, but he’s determined to keep his picks to one each this time. or… maybe two. two picks, maximum. “hyojin too! he sang one of my favorite day6 songs, and his range is insane. i can’t wait to hear more from him.”

dancers are harder to comment on; sungwoon doesn’t know enough (or feels confident enough) to choose the best in this category. “uh, i think i’m only qualified to talk about who i liked the best, so take all this with a grain of salt.” he probably shouldn’t say park woojin, but the first name that comes out of his mouth is—”park woojin, for sure. though to be clear, i would pick him even if we weren’t friends. his performance was powerful and captivating—i think he’s easily the best dancer here.” he wants to mention kenta as well, but he doesn’t want to come off as too biased either. “i also think yugyeom is a good dancer. i don’t know how i feel about him in general, but i won’t deny talent when i see it.”

rappers are possibly harder to talk about than dancers, so sungwoon takes his time running through the list of performances before answering. “i think the number of female rappers in the competition this year are pretty cool, so i’d have to pick one of them. sakura, maybe? i was surprised by her performance, but in a good way.” his second choice is so obvious, sungwoon wonders if he even has to state it out loud. “and mason, obviously. he’s a good rapper, maybe one of the best, but that’s a given.”

were there any performances you liked?

sungwoon hates questions like these, mostly because he never has enough time to mention everyone he wants to. just saying ‘all of them’ would save a lot of time, but he’s pretty sure that isn’t allowed. also, it’s not truthful either. there are performances he definitely didn’t enjoy. the question is about ones he did, however, and sungwoon runs through the ones he remembers well enough in his mind before blurting out the first one that stayed with him. “daniel’s!” wait, that really isn’t going to help him sound less biased. his face warms and he scratches his cheek while rushing to gather his thoughts. “okay, honestly. i know he’s not the best of the rappers, but he wrote his own rap and the lyrical content was straight fire. his performance had me hyped up. how can i not mention it?”

aside from daniel, there are a few others he wants to mention. “eunji’s dance was… i know i mentioned her last week as a talented singer, but she’s a phenomenal dancer as well. her performance was really powerful and compelling. park jinyoung—i liked his voice, and i thought his song choice was very appropriate for his tone. personally, he’s one to watch for me as well.” pausing, sungwoon leans back in his chair and rubs his chin in thought. “yeji? i thought she did a great job too—really, a lot of the girls have been killing it this year. i wish i could mention them all because they deserve it.”

were there any you didn’t like?

“guys, seriously,” he laughs, letting his arms fall to his sides. “have people answered this?” how many have taken the bait and actually said something negative about their fellow contestants? the interviewer won’t answer that for him, so sungwoon is left wondering when he should bite or not. maybe he should, but gently? “there were a couple of performances i was let down by,” he admits. “kyungsoo, for one. i really enjoy his voice, but i wasn’t sold on his song choice, so i think that colored my opinion of his performance.” toxic isn’t a choice he’d make personally, and while he respects it, sungwoon isn’t sure it’s appropriate for this stage of the competition. “i also enjoyed suwoong’s performance last week, but not as much this week… i don’t know, i think he could’ve taken it a bit more seriously?” sungwoon shrugs. “they’re both good performers; just not my cup of tea.”

is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?

“is it time for sungwoon the psychic’s predictions again?” he taps his forehead, thought he’s… not exactly sure why. “uh, well, i think everyone i mentioned as the best of their categories will go through. special shout out to mason, because he’s going all the way to the finale! mark my words.” he doesn’t know if he has any solid picks outside of those. “yuri? she has a powerful voice and the necessary star power.” hm, maybe that’s all? no, wait, he remembers one of the dancers leaving an impression and struggles to pronounce her name properly. “jieqiong? she’s pretty and talented; i would expect her to go through.” sungwoon figures he’d better stop there—or he’ll end up naming half the contestants in the competition. “let’s see how many of these work out! remember, 16% error rate!”

is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?

“my third eye broke; i can’t answer that,” sungwoon says, completely straight faced. several moments pass before his expression cracks into a distant smile. “no, seriously—i’m not sure what criteria the judges are basing their assessments on, so i can’t answer. you’d think it would be straightforward, but someone who’s average in a skill can get far based on their sheer charisma and stage presence, right? so i think it could be anyone’s game.” he won’t speculate further; it’s not his place. and he’s worried that if he does start to consider who might be eliminated, a few familiar names could potentially pop into mind.

that’s all for now. thank you!

“thank you! you’ve worked hard.” sungwoon rises and bows to the interviewer and the staff before returning to his seat. he steals a bottle of water from one of the empty enigma members and polishes it off with a cheeky smile. “i need this, guys. i talked a lot,” he complains when they ask. when do you not? someone answers, and sungwoon glares at them playfully before promising to buy another bottle during their break. it’s much easier to stick to smiles and lighthearted conversation before eliminations, and sungwoon does his best to keep the atmosphere cheery.

it’s all he can do for them right now.

[rksryujin-archive]

— — - pendιng:.. to [ 👑 공주지 👑]         ( @rkyeji )

✉ ⥅ hey stranger ~ ✉ ⥅ are you still alive? ㅋㅋㅋ ✉ ⥅ i miss you a lot ✉ ⥅ pucca refuses to go anywhere without you ㅠㅠ ✉ ⥅ please come by and talk some sense into her ok?? 

[rkheejin]

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ NEW CHAPTERS.

     sat in a practice room, her back propped against one of the many mirrors, heejin holds a cold water bottle in her hands as she evens her breathing. her eyes train themselves on different bodies around the room, all of them off on their own business’ as they rest as well, dance practices halting for a brief break, and heejin is grateful for this moment of peace. despite the improvements she’d made when it came to her dancing during the mgas, there was no denying she was still a vocalist.

     tucking stray hairs behind an ear from where they’d fallen out of her ponytail, she gives herself another moment to ease her breathing, taking a long sip from her water. it’s as she’s twisting the bottle closed that she sees the other girl, and immediately, she calls for her. “yeji,” her voice is soft, low to not disrupt anyone, but loud enough to catch the other girls attention. without another word, she motions for yeji to sit beside her, a small smile on her lips. “want some water?”

                                                       ———— for you, @rkyeji ♡

[rkmason]

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟  EP. 6 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

over a month in and they’re here: semi-finals. it’s a joke, right? this could all be a pipe dream. okay, two more seconds and he’s gonna wake up from a deep sleep with dabin sitting on his chest and slapping his face because according to one of the youngest of kill.u.strate, that’s the only way to wake someone up. he can’t wait for the day dabin gets a serious girlfriend and minho’s gonna rub that sentence in his face. dabin’s too similar to him— he just hasn’t heard the siren call yet.

he still can’t believe it, a month has come and gone, and he thought he wasn’t gonna make it past day 0. because the comments are right. sure, the rumor isn’t confirmed but it’s true— he left convex because he chose his girlfriend. he chose her over them and that won’t go away. no matter who he receives support from, even if they’re members of convex, he knows it’s too late. the ink has stained his ledger. coming onto the show, he pretended it would be a blank slate but he knows it’s far from it. his decision put him right back in the public eye and he’d be a liar to say he doesn’t enjoy being on stage again. he’d be a liar to say he’d be fine in the end. mijoo, his father, seik, everyone dear to him told him not to act like it was nothing, like he was okay, and the more honest he is about his own feelings the more scared he is.

being put on the trc team reminds him of his triple threat audition, how he said let it go but he’s the one still holding on. he’s the one thinking about that phone call with his sister, how she called again this week and the one thing he couldn’t hold onto in that moment was himself.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀  PAUSE, REWIND ⭯ ››  7월 29일 , I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE BLING 📱

[ TW: MENTION OF INJURY, IMPLIED PANIC ATTACK, *CAPTAIN AMERICA V/O* LANGUAGE ]

“i think you should quit.”

it’s not the first time he’s heard those words coming from his sister’s lips, not the first time she’s said it since he signed up for the mgas again, not the first time he’s sat with his back to the wall in his apartment, the waning moonlight the only source of light in the room as he sighs, head thunking against drywall as he leaves her unanswered. he wishes the time difference was greater, that his sister didn’t work in an industry where she’s awake at the same hours of him, ironically working as late as early morning. usually, it ends the same way. usually, it’s him once again telling her “i don’t know what you want me to say, han.”

an echo because of how empty the room is, because he’s isolated himself for the nth time. because he used to think he was lonely in nova because of the competitiveness but it was also him. a large part of it falls on him, on how he let everything get into his head while giving off the impression there is nothing in his head, no substance to his mind and soul when really he carries it all on his shoulders.

maybe that’s what happened to his shoulder in the past. it wasn’t just because he wasn’t letting himself properly heal for the sake of being signed, for continuing to dance, to live the lifestyle he kept up with. it was because he kept all that tension up there too, gloom in his headspace until it clouded his judgment. that was what turned his vision to black and white.

“are you listening to me?”

a deep sigh. in, out. “yeah.”

“are you sighing at me? you’re lucky i—”

he tunes her out and it’s unlike him. choi minho, who grew up being told that he should listen to every word a woman has to say, every word any person has to say because their opinion is important. it’s theirs, it has merit, it ought’a be heard but this? this? he doesn’t want to hear it again. over and over again, his sister is always right. she can do no wrong.

it’s out of love. he knows that, he knows this, so why is it so hard? his sister who he’s admired for so long even if she thinks that he prefers jake. his sister, who was the first one to show up to one of his dance competitions and scream til she lost her voice so he wouldn’t be sad that his parents couldn’t come, that their father refused to come even though he could, even though he was the only parent in the country at the time. his sister came, holding chris’ hand and insisting he couldn’t let go no matter how embarrassing it is. that’s how she is. headstrong, protective, because he’s not the only one who had to grow up at a young age.

if anyone knows about carrying weight on their shoulders, it’s her.

he realizes, that’s why it’s difficult. he doesn’t know how to tell her that she doesn’t understand when she’s tried the hardest in their whole family to understand him as far back as he could remember.

“—members are coaches and olivia. are you fucking kidding me, mason? you can’t tell me you’re not making goo-goo ga-ga eyes at her like the lovesick fool that you are. i’veseen you.”

hands rubbing over his face, he feels the pressure in his chest, how it rises up his throat and lodges itself right there until he can’t breathe. again, inhale, exhale.

come on, one more time. inhale, exhale.

you can do it, he tells himself, in and out—

shit, fuck.

no, he can’t and the way he struggles sounds like forced chuckling. it feels like it could be if he pulled it off, if he pulled off making it sound like he was just laughing, because it must be a joke. he is the joke and, who knows, maybe that clown wig really foreshadowed the rest of his future on the show.

everything his sister says, he already knows. he thought it, felt it, wanted to run from it for a moment because it was overwhelming.

but why, why, just why does he have to hear this from his sister? his brother’s flight is due in a few hours and he’s going with the guys to pick him up. as soon as chris got the confirmation that he could see the show live, he booked the flight. chris is happy for him, for moving onto the next round, regardless of who showed up on that stage as coaches. actually, part of him thinks chris didn’t realize at first, that he doesn’t care because mason says it’s alright.

it comes with being the youngest, he knows that’s why chris wouldn’t do it but it’s right up hannah’s alley but he just— if he could just breathe.

“stop.” his voice is soft, raw, doesn’t sound like him at all. she asks what and all he hears is her saying “i think you should quit” and the reasons she listed on replay. worse than the it’s a small world song and he thinks he’s seconds away from pulling his hair out.

he couldn’t do it. couldn’t listen to her telling him that he’s being stupid again, that he’s setting himself up to fail, that he’s walking right into their trap, that they keep bringing up convex for this moment, for the moment two convex members come out as coaches and he goes from being in the sphere practice rooms to the trc team.

arguments form in his mind but he can’t get them out, like if they really wanted to fuck with him, he’d be on the nova team with sunmi and wendy, who he trained with before debuting in convex. if they really wanted to fuck with him, if they really knew, if sphere did know who he’s dating, he could find out this way, right? what crueler move than to put him in his girlfriend’s team. but he’s not. he’s not so it can’t be, right? having to ask these questions upset him and he could ignore them, keep them buried or toss them out of his mind because he knows better but hannah makes them stick.

her reasons, his rebuttals, they’re stuck, trapped in his mouth as he tries swallowing his pride to just make it through this call so hannah can say her piece and he can be content with the fact that he tried, that he does what he’s been taught to do, that he listened instead of dismissing her thoughts.

but this doesn’t feel right.

it doesn’t feel right, to feel like this because of a loved one. his sister tells him this because she’s concerned, because she loves him, but fuck he forgot how much love can hurt when he’s been sheltered since the moment mijoo first said she likes him and then when she said she loves him. sheltered until the moment he was asked to give her name and he hurt everyone around him. sheltered because he thought he was safe and he spends every week thinking he’s not despite what others say. other contestants, netizens, his friends. being labeled as a supposed golden boy, as a favorite when he knows a lot of it is probably because his participation alone causes drama and invites competitiveness.

another case of damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t.

every week opens him up to comparison, to judgment, to the possibility of elimination, to the reminder that he’s much older now, that he’s older than… all of the contestants left? probably— it opens him up to someone saying if they can keep up with him, if they can beat him, what kind of idol was he? what was the real reason he’s no longer in convex? it’s an exaggeration, more likely, but he knows it’s there, that some contestants see him as the one to beat and then what? what’s next for both of them? for all of them?

what’s next— that’s what his sister doesn’t touch on and she should. that’s an answer he definitely doesn’t have right now. he just wants to know right now, he wants to know that stage, standing in front of all five ceos again, hearing the audience, knowing he hasmore to him, that he can change, that he can grow again and it could work this time. he might make less mistakes along the way this time.

he hears it again, you should quit, and he has the answer. he’s held onto it for years, kept it to himself like some sacred treasure. it’s validation. when he came to seoul, when he moved his whole life for the chance to be on stage, the mgas gave him validation and he could be too desperate for it after having to leave convex but so what?

she’s seen his performance for the skill battle— the one time he could say it without feeling choked up like he is now.

don’t know why i’m pathetic and don’t have nerve.

he doesn’t want to be like that anymore. he doesn’t care in the end if they’re going to make a fool of him. this is for him. this is for mijoo. this is for everyone who believes in him. everything else is just noise. he wants to keep showing that he’s more than what he’s being called, he want his sister to believe he’s still on the show because ofhis performance.

“please, hannah… i need you to trust that i know what i’m doing.”

he has to grow up sometime, handle his own battles, and she needs to let him.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ PRESS PLAY, BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

  ●●●●●●      LAST WEEK, ON THE FOURTH EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 25일      ●●●●●●

those words are weaved with his name again, along with kyul’s and heejin’s, but he doesn’t feel as happy as he wants to be. because top three isn’t the same as number one and he feels guilt settling on his skin the more his feelings unfurl— truthfully, he is happy but he’s happy for nakyung because she won without him, because she proved she is more than her partner, and he feels so fucking relieved when it’s not his burden to bear or he shouldn’t take it on. it is his burden, he thinks, but he shouldn’t let it affect him now, he shouldn’t let it affect his current teammates. because he’s sorry to them, he’s sorry that maybe they thought they’ll get the win because he’s there but they didn’t.

still, he hugs them when they’re told they’re top three, smiles fondly at how kyul and heejin hold hands, and he wants to protect him the same way he wanted to protect nakyung but he can’t. he can’t worry for them at the same time while they’re also each other’s competition and then there’s seunghun. he wants to see seunghun reach the finals too. he wants themall to reach the finals but, even then, there’s a chance none of them could win and he comes to another realization: is he really sorry to them or is he sorry to himself too? is he covering for the fact that he wants to win, wants to stay at number one, but feels ashamed that people think he shouldn’t even be here? he can’t continue to hide his shame or his greed in his fondness for them and so when he talks to both of them after the filming, he apologizes but there’s no welling of his eyes like he’d done when facing seunghun next week.

no, he needs to stay strong, especially after seeing the coaches.

he can’t think about it, he shouldn’t. instead, he places more rules on himself like no looking at his girlfriend even if it’s been months now since he held her, since he got to be with her, since she was this close. she stands closer to jinki and jinwook than to him and he closes his eyes for a second, hears the siren call competing with the background music of convex’s debut song.

he can’t be like this. he can’t. not when he chose this again, to put her through this, to put them through this, he can’t waver when he’s so close. he swears he’ll make it back to standing on the same stage as them again.

standing outside the trc building, he’s unable to take the first few steps closer just like the week before when he was outside sphere. this time, it’s for different reasons. this time, it’s a team he’s working with. this time, they all know at least one person will be eliminated no matter what and he worries he’ll step in there and it’ll be peak competitive hours. what if he walks in and they look at him like he’s poison? he’s choi minho, must be moving onto the finals right? wrong, he wants to tell them all they’re wrong, that he feels the need to fight for his right to be there as much as they do, but that’s not for his team. that’s something he should tell the camera, the audience, something he ought to say to everyone and not just his team who haven’t done anything wrong to him yet.

dinner the night before seemed good. some were shy and some were more outgoing. he’s used to that, feels like he does well in those situations, especially when they’re at the restaurant he used to work at, with his old boss proudly serving them himself and telling stories about how minho was a mess when he started there. he thinks he did a helluva better than his old boss says but he wouldn’t fight with him either, minho adores the old man too much, is fond of him like a genuine uncle, and it makes him more comfortable to be there, to be with his new team for the week. they’re all dancers from what he remembers and while that should be his first hint they’ll be amazing, he knows there’s a chance they could clash over it too.

he’s wrapped up in his thoughts again, standing there at an ungodly hour because he couldn’t sleep and the last thing he expects is for seik and dabin to show up again.

“you guys are like ticks.”

“shit, who peed into your cheerios this morning?”

“it’s barely morning,” seik grimaces, stifling a yawn with his arm before stretching his arms above his head. “when do you sleep?”

“he doesn’t,” dabin says, less jokingly than both minho and seik expect, both looking at him. the youngest shrugs and kicks a stone on the sidewalk. “he did this last week too. it’s like we gotta hold his hand so he goes inside. what would you do without us?” his cheekiness comes back as swiftly as it disappeared for a moment and minho rolls his eyes, reaching out to push dabin away from him.

“i know what i said before,” seik starts off. “but i don’t wanna see you shaking in your boots all the time. you’re making us look bad.”

“yeah, as the official rep of kill.u.strate—”

“woah, woah, woah, who said i’m the official rep?”

“we voted.”

“without me there.”

“same difference.”

he’s laughing and looking up at the sky. the sun’ll rise within the hour, he’s guessing. sunrises and sunsets hit differently now.

“can you go in now since you laughed?”

“we didn’t bring jae so there’s no clown wig in your bag this time.”

“i know it’s there.” there’s a hushed damn from dabin’s direction and minho rolls his eyes once more. “you guys didn’t have to come.”

“you’d do the same.”

“you did the same.”

minho doesn’t look at either of them, knows what they’re referring to and he thinks it’s pointless to bring up now. he made his choice, didn’t go to that starbright audition. yeah, he could’ve maybe signed with nova earlier than he did the first time but who knows if he would’ve made it in anyway? what if it wouldn’t change the outcome and where he is now? who he is now?

all he knows is that he has family and friends who love him and he’d be damned if he doesn’t go in there trying to make more friends despite the competition because he thinks they do or will resent him. it’s not like him. he tells himself this again and decides to go, clapping a hand on both their shoulders before he walks off.

“hyung!” dabin calls out to him and minho knows it like clockwork, turning with a smile and pounding a closed fist against his chest before pointing back. isn’t he letting mnet back into his head every day at this point?

he’d been right about some parts, that there would be a disagreement but it comes down more to their song choice than the choreography or anything else, which is surprising to him. surprising but it feels great too. at least he knows they’re all passionate about it, all have their own opinion, and all want this to work, to work together.

the song is one he thinks of as fun and he enjoys those kind of performances the most. it’s fun but the choreography from the peeks he takes at yeji and hyunggu when they’re working on it while he, ryujin, and chaeryeong work on their raps, reworking and rewriting it to be their own, to be personal, makes him grin because he thinks they might not all have the same styles but they see eye to eye on what the choreography should be for a song like this. that’s all he can ask for, all he wants, and it’s more fun when they work on everything together, the pieces falling in place in a way dancers and choreographers can best communicate: throughmovement.

from icebreakers to shared food to drinks, he thinks little by little they’re becoming more of a team, more of a maybe somewhat dysfunctional family because they’re not all particularly close but he could see it getting there. maybe if they could have more time, maybe if they didn’t have to deal with that looming elimination over their heads despite how well they do.

working with the coaches is different for him and he senses a kind of hesitation or pause when it comes to him. he understands. he’d be the same way at first but he’s also the type to let something go in a second, to brush things off like that, especially the past. minho’s been doing that for so long that he doesn’t think of how it doesn’t necessarily work the same for others so he’s patient, happy when they talk to him without honorifics, without hesitation, and he expresses his appreciation of all of them, as coaches and on the mgas before. age, status, whatever, he thinks he has a chance to learn from anyone at least once in his life.

        ●●●●●●      NEXT ON STAGE, WE ARE YOUR ANTIDOTE,  EP. 5 — 8월 1일      ●●●●●●

their introduction is one he thinks of as cheeky as their performance will be. it’s another dance battle, he realizes, but he hopes the other aspects will make up for it the way they used those differences to help chaeryeong feel comfortable about doing a song by the same artist as her performance the week before.

the set-up is different this week and he has a sense of nostalgia for being able to see everyone in the same room at once, to watch the stage live and mere feet away, when it’s only been a week. it’s like post-concert depression, he’ll call it post-stage depression and chuckle at how he’ll miss filming for the show and it’s not even the last episode yet.

outfits coordinated, choreography perfected, and lyrics memorized, he tries to walk onto the stage last so he can see them all just before they get up there, so he can smile wistfully at how he wishes they had more time: to get to know each other, to work on more songs, to explore all the styles each of them have and learn from each other all over again. he wishes they’ll have another chance to do this again.

nostalgia doesn’t suit the song and after their intros, he changes, he becomes the dancer he was born to be. the performer he’s hoping to continue to be from here on out.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ WHIPLASH ♫ CHOREOGRAPHY IS SELF-CREATED BY HYUNGGU AND YEJI W/ GROUP CONTRIBUTIONS //  ALL RAPS ARE SELF-WRITTEN BY EACH RAPPER // * DENOTES CHANGED LYRICS NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !

he takes the first rap verse, the theme of male vs female dance battle hinted at in their formation, in the color of their clothes, in the choreography, and he wouldn’t tell anyone but he thinks the girls’ choreography has the most impact. he’s the more impressed by it, not because the first part isn’t as great, but because of their formation changes and how theylook performing it. he could imagine them promoting as a group and that alone makes him feel like they’re all getting there, like one of them doesn’t have to go home and they can all move on together. it’d be ideal but it’s also more naive than he wants.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EVERY WEEK, EVERY THURSDAY*

복잡해진 마음, 숨을 내쉰다* I GET MIXED FEELINGS AS I BREATHE OUT

오늘 뭐 실수는 없었었나* DID I MAKE ANY MISTAKES TODAY?

관객들의 표정은 어땠던가* HOW DID THE AUDIENCE SEEM?

그래도 행복해 난 이런 내가 돼서* I’M HAPPY WITH WHO I’VE BECOME

그 때 만약 오지 않았다면 PHONE CALL 형 부모 세게 품에 안고나서 떴지 “아르바*” IT WOULD’VE BEEN DANGEROUS IF NOT FOR THAT PHONE CALL I LEFT MY PART-TIME JOB

어느새 나는 너의 옆 여긴 더 위에서 움직일 공간이 많으니깐 SAID GOODBYE TO MY PARENTS AND MY BROTHER SUDDENLY, I’M NEXT TO YOU

어서 올라와 GIRL SO COME ON GIRL ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

his lyrics cater to the story of his journey on the mgas, for all the contestants who have everything riding on this too. as ryujin joins in with him on certain lines, he feels more adrenaline coursing through his veins.

dancing like this, rapping like this again, it’s different than his previous performances. he’s part of a team again.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 전진 끝없이 달리네 꿈을 향해* I KEEP RUNNING TOWARDS MY DREAMS

점점 날 비워가네 언제까지 내 것일* I START TO LET MYSELF GO 

순 없어 큰 박수갈채가* THE THUNDERING APPLAUSE, I CAN’T OWN IT FOREVER

이런 내게 말을 해, 뻔뻔히* I TELL MYSELF SHAMELESSLY

니 목소릴 높여 더 멀리* RAISE YOUR VOICE HIGHER

영원한 관객은 없대도* EVEN IF THE ATTENTION ISN’T FOREVER

난 계속 갈거야, 계속 랩 할거야* I’LL KEEP GOING, I’LL KEEP RAPPING

오늘의 나로 영원하고파* I WANT TO STAY THIS WAY FOR LIFE

영원히 예능인이고 싶어 난 AH* I WANT TO BE AN ENTERTAINER FOR LIFE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

the girls take over and he can feel the surge of energy on the stage. even as they move into the dance battle, there’s electricity between them. currents running from one person to the next, almost too chaotic until chaeryeong brings them back together, as she did in practice. it’s poetic how they managed to work it in.

SHORTY GIVE ME WHIP-WHIPLASH

this is it. it’s becoming a pattern, how he says this every week. it’s right. this feels right, and he can take that back to his sister the next time she calls.

no, the next time she calls, he’ll make sure there’s no way she could tell him to quit now. this is his journey.  

I WANT TO BE AN ENTERTAINER FOREVER

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 3 / EPISODE 4 / EPISODE 5 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 6: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[xyoohyeonrk]

🌻┆bangbangbang

event starter for @rkyeji

now yoohyeon knows that participating in just dance with none other than yeji calls for nothing but embarrassment and now that they are just about to start, she wonders why she suggested this game in particular. while she has no experience and can’t dance for her bare life the other is quite literally one of the best dancers that she know, and that isn’t just her being biased as a friend; that was proven on the mgas, which ended only a few months ago.

at least they chose a beginner friendly song, even though that doesn’t matter-- while she most likely will struggle on this level also, yeji will shine. and honestly, she don’t mind. glancing over she looks mischevious with a broad grin to show that she’s ready and want to give the other a serious match, one that she know she will lose but whatever. yoohyeon is there to have fun, it was never meant for competition, and she is ready to have her ass beaten.

[rkjeongin-blog]

yang jeongin ( @yang.ji02 )

yang.ji02  i will smile even if it hurts! i’m sorry to everyone who believed in me, i will do better next time. please support #5011, #5017, #5028, #5030, #5033, #5039, #5041, they’re my picks~ i’m sad that so many of my friends were eliminated... but they did their best and i will always support them!

💬 comment  ❤ like   • • •

[rkchaeryeong]

MGA Season 5 ୨୧ Episode 5 ୨୧ Trios Dancing and rapping to Fire Truck with: @rknak and @rkpwj

After working with a friend last week, she was back to working with strangers. Though that didn't have to be bad, not at all, as long as they'd get along and work well. The worst possible scenarios were getting along so well, they'd get distracted more than practise, or not getting along at all and not getting anywhere either.

Luckily, there didn't seem to be any problems in her team – the girl seemed to pick a weird mood between two or three of the two teams up though. She wasn't sure if her intuition was right there, but then she didn't care too much about what was going on, as long as it didn't involve her and the team would work well and not be distracted every ten seconds.

Choosing a song somehow seemed to get more and more difficult with each round. They'd have to find and agree on something all three of them were both comfortable with and had the skills for. Finding out however, that they were all dancers, made Chaeryeong relax. At least they could finally put a focus on that.

A few choices were thrown around – some of which she really liked but were already taken – and they eventually settled on one of her suggestions. Fire Truck was energetic and loud. A good choice for a flashy stage to get attention, but also an obnoxious option when sharing a practise room. The other team's choice wasn't exactly quiet either though and she could only hope there would be no petty taking turns in turning the music louder than the other group. She had neither time nor nerve for childish stuff like that.

Eventually they managed to divide lines and all that, so they could properly get to practising. The dance was easily burned into her brain, she just needed to make her movements precise, to perfect every little detail. And of course she had to manage her rap well, which would prove much more difficult.

In an interesting “turn” of events, she started spending a good chunk of the time she wasn't practising with Suwoong from the other team. The both of them seemed to be a bit more chatty than the others and she thought they clicked well. It was nice to get a good distraction from the worries the show brought with it and he was fun to talk to. So fun that she felt like she knew his whole life story at the end of the week and she'd even talked quite a bit about herself. It made her realise even more than during the previous week that she needed to be around people and socialise more. So the trio teams and shared practise rooms were pretty much perfect for her.

She also enjoyed the time spent with her team, though she felt like it took a bit longer to properly connect with them. But the time they went shopping and had lunch was nice, and she felt closer to them.

Overall—even though she came early and stayed late almost every day—she had a good time preparing for this performance. Sure it was tough and took a lot out of her, plus she's never trained this much for anything before, but her years of experience were surely coming in handy. She knew her limits, how much she could push them without fainting or anything of the sort and knew when she should take a break. She also made a point of not sleeping over at the practise room, but going home every night, so she could properly rest and recharge at home.

She even forgot about the cameras a lot, only making sure to wave and bow every morning and night. Sometimes during beaks, she would position herself in front of one and went through expressions for the performance, featuring both serious and comedic attempts. Another time she talked to it (though that had felt a little weird, so she didn't repeat that), asking whether they were watching the team's practise well and if they saw the good progress they made.

The girl could hardly wait for their group to be called. She sat still, her eyes scanning the many groups before them, observing their every move and studying their expressions. They were all good, really good. On one hand that was bad – it would be easier to win this, if her opponents were weaker, but on the other hand that would be boring. She wanted a challenge.

One of the performances that really stood out to her was the group performing “Love Shot”. It was one of the options her group had considered as well, but the song was already taken. Yeji stood out to her the most. The dance was different from the original and she thought the other might have choreographed it herself. It was something she hadn't much skill in herself.

As the team before them stopped, she knew it was their turn every second now and it felt like electricity shot through her, all the way down to the tips of her fingers and toes. A smile tugged at her lips, but the girl did her best to suppress it. While strings seemed attached to her trying to pull her up to the stage, she wouldn't let herself feel too excited before the performance was over and until she knew for sure that they'd done well.

Get it lifted

They shouted together right at the beginning and she felt the excitement buzz through her veins again, a crooked smile finally pushing through. And she was glad to be starting first. She didn't want to wait any longer.

Fire truck What’re you looking at Mr. fireman on the floor Make a fire, I’ll cool the heat I’ll make this unhappy place even hotter When I hear the sirens, I feel

Chaeryeong moved smoothly, like she's never done anything else in her life. Her moves were exact, obviously practised again and again and again. Her rap, too, was being executed well. Her pronunciation precise, but not so that it was taking away from the flow. She'd often seen performers start off weakly from not being quite into the song yet, or whatever, hence Chaeryeong had practised the beginning extra hard. After all it carried much weight–if she messed up now, interest in the rest of the performance could be lowered, attention not undivided. If they couldn't keep interest up until the end, they shouldn't even consider being one of the top 3 performances and in the girls eyes, they should at least manage that. At the very, very least be in the top 5.

The performance passed, her dancing continuously exact and her rap, while definitely not perfect and much more difficult than the last, still surprising even herself. Her lower voice was surely a good asset in this case and she's learned a lot about rapping from the past weeks. She wasn't lucky that the progress showed, after all she'd worked hard for it, practising endless hours. It was earned.

Yeah be anywhere, everywhere Just call me Look at Look at how, just like playing with fire Bling, I’ll appear, Just Blink for me I’ll cool down your anger

With the gaze of someone who knows what they want and who's completely aware of their own skills, the girl flows through her second longer part, sliding over the floor confidently, oozing charisma. She'd practised this so often, sought out the best ways to appeal to judges and tv-audience. The girl knew what she was doing. Her body precisely placed for every step, while her rap could be improved, but her expression seemed to say “So what? I'll improve with every step I take, never stopping. You'll see.”

The big moves and slight cockiness were quite the opposite of her usual calm and collected behaviour, and as she rapped the part, she fittingly winked at the judges.

(Ey yea yea yea yea) Hands up if you feeling the vibe now (Ey yea yea yea yea) One step two steps go

She skipped left and right, light as a feather, making it look like the moves were almost spontaneous, even when she was leaving nothing to chance that she didn't have to.

After her rebellious child-years, she'd grown to control herself as she grew older, into her teen years, she learned how to behave in a way that would get her what she wanted without being obvious about it. She learned to study diligently, to put time and effort into what she had to, pushing through without letting herself falter. Now she was glad about it more than ever.

For the remainder of the song, she continued having a few solo lines here and there and many shared ones with the two others. She always knew where they were, even if they weren't directly in her vision. She found that important, to make sure they looked like a team. So they were dancing together, rather than each doing their own thing. And the girl kept in mind that during every part she wasn't centre, she had to keep her expression up and still give it her all, or else she'd be overlooked easily.

Once they left her burst of energy left her and she felt a little dizzy. She ignored it as best as she could and smiled at Suwoong, who's team would perform afterwards. Even though she might've overdone it a little, she knew this is what she wanted to do. As often as she could. The girl couldn't imagine not standing on stage again, practically craving it like water. And there wasn't even an audience outside the judges yet, but form the dancing competitions in her past, she knew how it felt to be cheered on. And while she was confident in her skills, she really hoped to make it to the next round.