#rkpjy

[rkyeji]

#5011 hwang yeji, #5017  kang daniel & #5036 park jinyoung - love shot , lyrics                        outfit / hair style mentioned: @rkpjy, @danielxrk, @rkchwev, @jungeunxrk, @ryujinrk, @rktaeyang, @rksuwoong, @rkkenta, @rkxbin, @rkyuri, @rkheejin, @rkmason, @rknak,, @rkkyungsoo, @rkjaemin, @rkchaeryeong, @rkpwj, @rkkyul, @yewonxrk

another week. yeji had made it to the next episode and the next week-- she was so close to being in the finals but right now she wasn’t sure how she was performing-- if what she was doing was the right choice, then again yeji improved her singing because she wanted to become a better performer. not just a dancer and she was determined to show everyone that she was improving as both a singer and dancer.

one thing, junhee’s elimination-- he had helped her out with her vocals but despite that gotten eliminated and she almost cried when she saw him leave. there wasn't enough time for her to mourn the older male but she made sure to text him. when she saw who she was grouped with, yeji lifted both her brows, "jinyoung and daniel," daniel was her cousin and they got along but she had never worked with him. jinyoung was a good singer and immediately she started wondering what kind of song they could do, knowing that daniel wasn't a dancer and jinyoung was a great singer... she was a dancer, how could they incorporate everything they were good at.

they spend a day brainstorming what kind of performance they want to do, yeji and jinyoung arrive first. while she's with jinyoung, she can't help but feel like she's seen him before but she can't place his face. while discussing with him she can't help but notice how familiar he feels, 'who?' she studies his face before realizing, "AH! SNOW WHITE OPPA?" how many months ago was that, yeji had seen jinyoung in the hospital. her mouth was wide open for a moment, then she remembered where they were and quickly covered her mouth. maybe he didn't want anyone to know about where they had met and she didn't want to be insensitive towards him.

right before they could continue the conversation daniel walks into the room, yeji notices how he seems different. it was early in the morning so yeji initially thought that maybe things would catch up-- but daniel seemed to drift further away by the minute.

back and forth, discussing and talking somehow at the end of the day they came to an agreement. yeji understood daniel's concerns and worries but she was honestly frustrated that he was sitting on those feelings, it wouldn't do him any good.

in the end they decided on loveshot, they decided to put some twists on it-- it would start acoustically, towards the end they would all dance. they all got to show something that they did well, daniel his musical side, jinyoung's vocals and yeji got dancing. however one thing she hadn't expected to have to fight for was the line distribution. when she saw the first draft of it she gave daniel a slight glare, "are you underestimating me?" which in itself was understandable, throughout the competition she had danced for everything she did but when they first suggested that only daniel and jinyoung have parts before her dance, she couldn't help but feel a little insulted. yeji felt overlooked and pushed into a corner that she wanted to get out of, she had improved vocally and was it so bad of her to want to show that? jinyoung made her sing a couple of the lines and eventually, she got a small singing part before daniel's rap which honestly satisfied her.

after daniel had expressed his thoughts of not wanting to dance more than he needed to. which yeji found understandable-- daniel wasn't a dancer, yeji hadn't really seen him dance so far. so yeji mixed and matched the part where everyone was dancing, taking the choreo from a different verse and putting it over the original choreo, that would be too difficult for daniel to keep up with. yeji stayed late to prepare for that, dancing, listening to the song so that when the boys came the next morning she had something to show them.

when the next day arrived yeji was filled with excitement, even if she had gone home last she felt energetic and when they were all gathered she looked at daniel.

"i have fixed the choreo, so that you should be able to dance it," she nodded-- yeji was confident in her own abilities as a choreographer and as dancer to teach him. this would be one of her biggest challenges so far but she accepted it.

at some point during the week yeji found herself in a daze, staring at the other team-- wondering what n earth kind of song they were working on. she heard a lot of heavy breathing coming from their side of the room and it threw her off. while at the same time hansol was on the other side, she didn't want to stare at him in an obvious way but she couldn't help it. the way that her heart drew her gaze to him was excruciatingly painful, she couldn't just go up and give him a hug even though he was so close. yeji shook her head and snapped back to the reality that was her team and her nose scrunched, yeji turned to the camera for a moment before pointing in the direction of hansol and his team-- "don't they look.... so pretty? i feel like i see flowers when i look over."

the weeks proves to be more turbulent than any of her other weeks during the mgas, at one point she goes out to get them all something to drink but when she comes back daniel and jinyoung are arguing about something... something she doesn't understand, it sounds like baby language, she stares at them in disbelief before opening her mouth to speak, "are you here to argue or practice?" she lived in the us for three years and since coming back she hasn't completely gotten used to how satoori sounds-- to her it sounds like gibberish at times.

yeji finds herself sterner than she has ever had to be, even if they are family yeji wasn't about to give daniel a free pass-- whenever she danced with him she watched him in the mirror and then she corrected the multiple things he were doing wrong. each time he makes a mistake he apologizes to her and each time she gets more frustrated, "don't apologize for making mistakes, just practice so you don't make them when we are performing-- this is where you can make mistakes." yeji stays late with him when he stays, not wanting to leave him hanging if he has any questions-- he tells her to leave but she stays, even with the music playing she manages to get a couple of minutes of sleep without intending to sleep but the long nights were slowly getting to her.

yeji notices how daniel's motivation is lower and when he tells them what is wrong, reading the online comments were going to get everyone eventually. they have a moment where they all are thinking the same thing-- daniel should be in the center at the start of their performance when he plays the opening. it was odd, this was the first time all week she felt they seemed more like a team. an excited smile grows on her face as she finds a camera, giving it a thumbs up in its direction.

in all honest yeji feels it has been going better than she expected even with hansol in the same practice room, sure there are moments when she finds herself looking over and she can't help but wonder if he has noticed her being around. however yeji goes out for a water break at one point, then when she comes back hansol and jungeun are practicing some of the sexier parts of their performance and yeji is stunned for a moment. looking how his eyes are eyeing the older female, she knows that it is just a performance but at the same time... that could have been her, maybe that could have created more trouble than good. that is what she thinks to herself but her self awareness had been gone, in the few seconds they performed yeji hadn't left the entrance and then suddenly she felt a smack to her face and she lost her balance, for a moment. yeji had gotten punished for dazing out... at a time like this. yeji rubbed her forehead before walking back into the room. hoping that no one saw her but jinyoung noticed-- telling her to be more careful and she knew. she wasn't usually like this.-- "ahh," she utters, seating herself on the couch, "her eyes once again catching hansol and jungeun... "so dizzy." she fumbled around for a couple of moments before she grabbed her phone.

⟨ ━━ ✉ 3 messages sent to ‘ ryuanne '

⇢ hansol oppa, is dancing with jungeun unnie... ⇢ the dance is sexy.... the door hit me in the face... ⇢ i'm a 🤡

yeji glanced up, contemplating....

⟨ ━━ ✉ 1 message sent to ‘ hansol ❤ ' ⇢  ... i want to dance with you too. ! deleted ⇢ you are doing well and looking good~ ❤

just as quickly as she had typed it, she deleted it. it wasn't that she was jealous of jungeun-- or maybe she was. yeji finally had him within her reach, emotionally after so long of it being onesided. she was sure she had glanced over more times than he had over at her, whenever she did she saw how hard he was working and she couldn't help but smile. the atmosphere in the practice room was nice-- even if they were different teams, jungeun was great dancer, that much she had noted and kenta as well. right now she felt lucky to be able to see them progress throughout the week. yeji rubbed her forehead again as she felt the heat from the hit earlier fade, looking over at daniel and jinyoung. even if the road up to now had been turbulent it was getting better.

on monday, something happens that surprises yeji. daniel expresses his desires to sing the last line in their performance and yeji lifts her brows, he's careful when he asks her about this and she wonders why her out of all of them, jinyoung was the vocal and she was the dancer. thinking about it the last line had an impact, it came right after their dancing and yeji has seen daniel improve over the past couple of days. maybe it was natural that he came to her after all, yeji lifted her brows at him and tells him, "if you can do the entire choreo, without making a mistake by the end of today. i'll consider it." they go back and forth about it, yeji is younger than him yes but in this case, right now-- age didn't matter. yeji wants to motivate him, this is the first time this week that he has really shown desire for a certain part. he had worked on the instrumental for their performance by himself, which yeji and she was sure jinyoung also appreciated it. daniel expresses his thoughts again and she decides to check his resolve a little, "if you don't look good, it will be highlighted when you are in the center position. it will throw the performance off. is that something you will be happy about?" for a moment she notices how he hesitates, takes back his initial request and yeji feels a small wave of disappointed, "are you giving up that easily?" once again she tries to reassure him, if she doesn't think he's good enough for the part then she won't give it to him. daniel tells her his thoughts and yeji holds back a smile, "only if you think it looks good," he says and yeji looks at him, "then show me what you got," the answer she gets from daniel is one that she wanted

at the end of the day, daniel approaches her-- she sees there is determination in his eyes and yeji thinks it suits him more than the moping that he did on friday. yeji turns on the music for him and watches him as he dances and it isn't perfect, dancing was still foreign to him after all but she saw how determined he was and how he tried his best to do well. she also knew they had two whole days to work on the performance altogether-- she looks at him, judging his moves and figuring out what he needs to work on for the final day but when its over, he stands there and waits for her verdict, she can't help but find it a little amusing but in the end she looks at him, "you can have it, if jinyoung oppa agrees." yeji walks up to him and gives him a warm, proud smile-- "i'm proud of you oppa." she nods and starts her own stretching exercises.

for the rest of the evening and night, she stays around-- working on the dance solo that she is doing for her part in the song. when she gets the spotlight on her-- yeji wants to incorporate some of the original dance moves with the finger gun, body waves. keeping it up in the same alley but at the same time matching it to the instrumental that daniel made for them. yeji times each move perfectly.

yeji does the two her part of the choreo, wanting to hear their input but at at the end they both complimented her and she smiled. at least they liked it all that was left for the judges and audience to like it.

- day of performance -

the week had been hectic and more turbulent than she could have imagined it would be-- but they somehow made it here. she looked to her left and right, seeing daniel and jinyoung by her side. knowing how daniel had been feeling all week, yeji was overcome with a feeling of worry, incase he still felt the same way and she looked at him with concern in her eyes. yeji wanted them all to do well, daniel had worked hard and she was proud of the progress he had made.

“it’ll be alright oppa,” she whispered as she leaned over to daniel, giving him a hopeful smile.

when the stages start yeji feels excited, the first group gets called onto stage and it's heejin, kyulkyung and the favorite this season... choi minho, she wonders about their performance and while watching them yeji thinks that they perform well-- the song choice was a bold choice, in her opinion. minho and kyulkyung seemed to have no problem following the choreo but in the competition yeji had seen heejin dance once, regardless she was impressed by the female. she could tell the other had been practicing-- she nodded her head in approval and claps after their performance is up.

after them, kyungsoo, changbin and yewon are up-- yeji isn't sure what she expects from them but yewon was a dancer. kyungsoo had danced as well, so maybe they would do something simple but remembering changbin... maybe not, instead they perform a song, that yeji isn't sure she has heard before but kyungsoo's vocals, changbin and yewon's rap it's impressive but she can't help but feel like she misses something, the way they take the stage leaves her amazed. they sure have nailed the stage presence, yeji claps again after the performance is over.

then next up is the retro future team, hansol, kenta and jungeun-- she was excited about their performance. she had seen their performance take form over the past week and she couldn't help but be excited to see the final product on stage. maybe she was a little biased but even as she watched them from the side of the stage, her eyes are naturally drawn to hansol, "they are even better on stage," she said into the cameras that were filming them as they were waiting for their turn. when hansol is on stage she thinks that she can get excused for looking at him-- he did so well up there, kenta and jungeun did well too and she wanted to praise them as they came down from their performance but she couldn't find the time before it was their turn to perform.

yeji turned to daniel, she knew how he must be feeling but again, she looked at him. "it'll be alright," she whispered to him with a slight smile. yeji brushed her hands over her outfit, straightening any wrinkles that could have occurred. she had two different sets of microphones going on,  one handheld microphone that was mostly just for show since she would sing into the head microphone later. when hansol's group was done yeji found herself tapping her feet, she had butterflies in her stomach. even if she had a dance in it, the start was so different from what she usually did it started slow, then just singing. no dancing in the start. it felt unusual for her but she had practiced this multiple times during their practices, she was ready for this. they were ready for this.

their numbers were called and they brought chairs with them to stage, she placed her chair down, then they introduced their name-- "jinielji" it was basically just parts of their names combined. this was a stage where everyone showed something they were good at and where they showed something else, it was a nice combination. yeji sat down on her chair, daniel was in the center, holding his guitar and on the other side was jinyoung. then he started playing, the melody of loveshot chorus rang throughout the room. jinyoung's singing part was up-- opening the song vocally and he sang beautifully as one would expect. next up was yeji's part, she brought the microphone up to her mouth and started singing.

nuneul garin chaero geureoke gutge dada beorin seoroye

her voice had strength behind it even if she sang softer than she had done previously, thanks to jinyoung's guidance and all of the adivce that junhee had given her up until his elimination yeji felt confident in her singing, thanks to all of them. yeji's part finished and following her was jinyoung then daniel rapped, she placed the microphone down, when the rap was coming to an end she walked up infront of the males. there was a pause in the instrumental, jinyoung's voice singing 'it's the loveshot' could be heard and now yeji was in the center position, she lifted her head-- a smirk on the face as she started to dance a choreo she had choreographed for this part. it was different from the original choreo, her moves were flexible and powerful and she had made sure they would suit the instrumental that they were going for. this was a different kind of dancing style that she had done up until this point, the look in her eyes was charismatic and she did every move with purpose.

na nanana nananana na nanana nanana na nanana nananana oh oh oh oh oh

when that was over, all three of them sing the line 'its the love shot,' yeji pretends to take a shot of something before walking back to her place. jinyoung's starts the verse after, yeji sways slightly side to side before her part comes up again-- confidently she sings the lines she had gotten. daniel raps after her, delivering his part well-- yeji feels proud of the male, as silly as it might be but with everything that had been goin on between their group since this week of preparations tarted yeji can't help it. daniel's part fade out and this time, its time for jinyoung to have the center position with her and daniel getting into their next positions. jinyoung delivers the bridge amazingly and she knows that that is something he is born with-- yeji singing the vocals over daniel's rap. making sure her voice doesn't stand out too much over her cousin's voice. then they do something that might be unexpected witht he original instrumental playing in the background, all three start dancing.

she had chosen the easier chorus dance for them as a group, remembering how daniel had worried that he wouldn't be able to do it. despite that, he had managed just fine, yeji takes the center position, this time when the chorus plays they sing the lyrics to it-- jinyoung and yeji adlibbing over certain parts.

at the end of their performance,all three of them strike a pose as if drinking a shot.

they arrive back in their seats to watch the rest of the performances, yeji finds herself completely seated in the middle of yuri's trio performance. she remembers how she had practically begged the other to apply, look at where she was now. a big smile grew on her face as she watched the rest of the performance, giving the performance two thumbs up.

yeji feels herself daze out for a moment, but is thrown back into it when she sees who is on stage. taeyang, she is always excited about taeyang's performances and this week was no different. she was happy to see how far the male had gotten. when their performance starts she is surprised, her lips shaping into an o as she watches. taeyang is singing, the dance is adjusted. yeji finds herself looking at taeyang and hyojin both for the most part, hyojin because she knew that he wasn't a dancer, much like daniel but taeyang had seemingly adjusted the choreo for the sake of the male. she was sure that if hyojin was a better dancer the performance would have left a bigger impact-- she felt disappointed but it wasn't their fault. hyojin dancing as well, he was doing his best and it showed.

one team yeji was surprised as she watched nakyung, woojin and chaeryeong's performance. all of them were dancers, as far as she knew and as she watched she found herself immersed in their performance, her head bopping to the beat. their performance was impressive, chaeryeong was a strong dancer as was woojin, next to them nakyung kind of fated out. despite that, the performance had left her impressed. then the last performance of the day-- ryujin's team and maybe it was because she got mvp the previous week but yeji had expectations. suwoong and jaemin were on her team this week, it all was set up to be a great performance. the performance starts with ryujin and yeji is charmed by her, wrinkling her nose and smiling at the start. then suwoong starts... rapping? it leaves her confused but then jaemin takes over and the flow is nice, yeji finds herself dancing in her seat again. the song is exciting and powerful-- suwoong's vocals might not be the best for the song but yeji let it slide the energy was there and she really enjoyed their performance.

[rkxsungwoon-blog]

☆ MGA5 EPISODE TWO ; JULY 4 #5008 HA SUNGWOON ; interview

much like the last episode, the ceos retire to discuss the results of the performances while the contestants are ushered one by one into private rooms to be interviewed on the day’s events. sungwoon wonders if this will become a staple from now on. if so… he’s not entirely sure how to feel��the interviews broadcasted last week were interesting, to say the least. he supposes it adds some excitement to the broadcast along with giving viewers a glimpse into the personalities of the contestants. it also feels like russian roulette, like the producers are waiting for someone to inevitably say something damaging during their interviews and metaphorically shoot themselves in the foot.

but maybe the moment of reflection is a good thing too. sungwoon appreciates getting the chance to reorient, to breathe and consider the day’s events and performances in one go. he never truly struggles to answer, so his complaints are probably less valid than most. rather than being truly worried, he’s eager to get this over with and get to the results. 

when his name is called, sungwoon rises and gives his friends a double thumbs up before following the staff to the interview room. a quick touch up of his hair and makeup later, he’s seated in a familiar chair in front of the interviewer in a set-up not much different from last week. he greets the interviewer with a smile and makes some idle small talk about the weather and how their day is going so far until the cameraman indicates it’s time to begin.

showtime.

so, welcome back, sungwoon. you’ve managed to survive the first cut, but what did you think of the results last week otherwise?

ah. he expected this one. cutting fifty people from the competition at one time is a lot. of course they’d be asked about it. “i didn’t expect there to be quite as many eliminations from the beginning, so it was a little nerve-wracking, to be honest.” sungwoon is grateful his friends survived alongside him, but admitting as much might sound like rubbing salt in the wounds of people who were separated from their friends.

he decides to keep it neutral. “all my predictions for who would make it to the next round came true, though! well, except one.” poor chan. sungwoon really thought he was good, but his opinion doesn’t count for much when it comes to rap. “i guess that disqualifies me as a psychic? unless i make sure to include a disclaimer that there’s a 16% error margin on all predictions?” he laughs, embarrassed as he realizes his mental math might be a little off. “actually, don’t fact check me on that number.” math isn’t his strong suit, but he refuses to be make a fool of himself over numbers on national tv.

shaking his head slightly, he taps his fingers against his knee in thought. “it was disappointing to see so many talented people go home,” sungwoon adds slowly. “but it’s a competition and, well, i have to believe the ceos made the decisions they did for a reason.” they clearly know what they’re doing, and it’s not for him to question them yet. 

how did you feel when you realized you were through to the next round?

“i was relieved, mostly,” sungwoon admits readily. a sigh escapes his lips as he thinks back to the moment his name was called—he’d felt weak and weightless at the same time, even more so when the others made it through safely. sungwoon would like to say he never had any doubts, but that isn’t entirely true. there’s always room for doubt. “i would’ve been mortified to get eliminated so early in the competition.” honestly, he’d be equally mortified to get eliminated now, but it feels unnecessary to add that into his answer. “it also felt right, you know?” he continues with a sheepish smile. “i felt acknowledged by the judges, and that went a long way towards boosting my confidence for today’s performance!”

many people have expressed concern about the number of previous mga contestants participating in this season. as one of the people highlighted as a former contestant during the episode, how does the backlash make you feel?

well, this is one he didn’t expect. of course sungwoon is aware of the backlash—the previous episode literally broadcast one of the contestants’ thoughts on the subject, and the netizens seem united in the opinion that this year has too many old faces. and as one of the old faces, his opinion on the subject should be pretty clear: it sucks, and he doesn’t agree that just because they’ve been on the show before, they have no place on it now. he’s not sure why the interviewers would ask this, unless they’re hoping he gives them something juicy to air? sungwoon is determined to avoid that trap, to think carefully over his response before he gives it.

honesty is the best way to play this, in his opinion. “it’s not the greatest, i’ll admit.” wringing his hands together, he shoots the interviewer a distracted, what can you do, kind of smile before raking his fingers through his hair. “i think it’s disingenuous to act like being on the show one year means we can never come back or to claim we’ve used up our one and only chance. it’s not like we stopped dreaming just because it didn’t work out the first time.” for many, including sungwoon, participating in the mgas increased his desire to stand up on stage.

“i also believe people might be under the impression that we’ve had tons of opportunities for success following the show last year?” being on tv might’ve brought a little bit of localized fame for a brief period of time last year, but all that is gone now, leaving old contestants as forgotten relics of a different time. “but i can tell you that’s not really true—personally, at least. no companies were looking to sign me, and i didn’t have any other prospects.” a bitter pill to swallow, but there it is! he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “compared to a lot of other competitions, the mgas are accessible, so yeah, i gave them a shot again, but because this might be the only way i ever make it. i’m sure others feel the same way.”

god, he said a lot more than he intended to. sungwoon takes a deep breath and shakes his head, forcing a smile he hopes looks natural. “if the new contestants are worried about facing the old ones, well, a little healthy competition never hurt anyone, right?”

i see. moving on, how do you think you did this week?

“like i said, i’m never satisfied.” he feels like this will be a familiar refrain if this question continues to come up again, but it continues to be true. he needs the persistent buzz under his skin, the nagging voice that tells him he can do better. it drives sungwoon to improve, and that’s worth the temporary discomfort. still, his feelings towards today’s stage is largely positive overall. “i know my performance wasn’t as exciting as some of the others. that’s always the risk when you do a ballad, right?” sungwoon was well aware of it from the beginning. “and for once i didn’t play an instrument. that was nerve-wracking, let me tell you.”

he straightens up in his seat. “but i wanted the focus to be on my voice today.” no bells and whistles, just sungwoon showing the judges what he’s capable of. “so i chose to sing a korean song, one that ended up becoming pretty personal for me. i think… i did all i could up on the stage, and i hope it resonated with everyone who listened. that’s all i can really ask for.”

who do you think is the best under each skill?

oh, now that’s an interesting question. sungwoon wouldn’t have been able to answer it last week due to the sheer number of people performing, but after watching the episode and sitting through today’s stages, sungwoon is in a better position to judge the rest of the contestants. the interviewer catches the grin spreading across his face and asks him if he’s thinking of naming himself, to which sungwoon responds “oh, no. no,” with a laugh. he wouldn’t dream of it. “i’ll try not to name only empty enigma members either, but you can’t blame me if a few slip in.”

for singers… sungwoon feels like quite a few of them are strong. this is the only category he feels qualified to talk about at length, in any case. “i think heejin is a strong singer, maybe the strongest in the competition. i enjoy her vocal color, and i think her voice is powerful. she has a strong stage presence too, so i definitely think she’s someone to watch for.” he wants to mention a few other singers as well, but he’s determined to keep his picks to one each this time. or… maybe two. two picks, maximum. “hyojin too! he sang one of my favorite day6 songs, and his range is insane. i can’t wait to hear more from him.”

dancers are harder to comment on; sungwoon doesn’t know enough (or feels confident enough) to choose the best in this category. “uh, i think i’m only qualified to talk about who i liked the best, so take all this with a grain of salt.” he probably shouldn’t say park woojin, but the first name that comes out of his mouth is—”park woojin, for sure. though to be clear, i would pick him even if we weren’t friends. his performance was powerful and captivating—i think he’s easily the best dancer here.” he wants to mention kenta as well, but he doesn’t want to come off as too biased either. “i also think yugyeom is a good dancer. i don’t know how i feel about him in general, but i won’t deny talent when i see it.”

rappers are possibly harder to talk about than dancers, so sungwoon takes his time running through the list of performances before answering. “i think the number of female rappers in the competition this year are pretty cool, so i’d have to pick one of them. sakura, maybe? i was surprised by her performance, but in a good way.” his second choice is so obvious, sungwoon wonders if he even has to state it out loud. “and mason, obviously. he’s a good rapper, maybe one of the best, but that’s a given.”

were there any performances you liked?

sungwoon hates questions like these, mostly because he never has enough time to mention everyone he wants to. just saying ‘all of them’ would save a lot of time, but he’s pretty sure that isn’t allowed. also, it’s not truthful either. there are performances he definitely didn’t enjoy. the question is about ones he did, however, and sungwoon runs through the ones he remembers well enough in his mind before blurting out the first one that stayed with him. “daniel’s!” wait, that really isn’t going to help him sound less biased. his face warms and he scratches his cheek while rushing to gather his thoughts. “okay, honestly. i know he’s not the best of the rappers, but he wrote his own rap and the lyrical content was straight fire. his performance had me hyped up. how can i not mention it?”

aside from daniel, there are a few others he wants to mention. “eunji’s dance was… i know i mentioned her last week as a talented singer, but she’s a phenomenal dancer as well. her performance was really powerful and compelling. park jinyoung—i liked his voice, and i thought his song choice was very appropriate for his tone. personally, he’s one to watch for me as well.” pausing, sungwoon leans back in his chair and rubs his chin in thought. “yeji? i thought she did a great job too—really, a lot of the girls have been killing it this year. i wish i could mention them all because they deserve it.”

were there any you didn’t like?

“guys, seriously,” he laughs, letting his arms fall to his sides. “have people answered this?” how many have taken the bait and actually said something negative about their fellow contestants? the interviewer won’t answer that for him, so sungwoon is left wondering when he should bite or not. maybe he should, but gently? “there were a couple of performances i was let down by,” he admits. “kyungsoo, for one. i really enjoy his voice, but i wasn’t sold on his song choice, so i think that colored my opinion of his performance.” toxic isn’t a choice he’d make personally, and while he respects it, sungwoon isn’t sure it’s appropriate for this stage of the competition. “i also enjoyed suwoong’s performance last week, but not as much this week… i don’t know, i think he could’ve taken it a bit more seriously?” sungwoon shrugs. “they’re both good performers; just not my cup of tea.”

is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the mgas?

“is it time for sungwoon the psychic’s predictions again?” he taps his forehead, thought he’s… not exactly sure why. “uh, well, i think everyone i mentioned as the best of their categories will go through. special shout out to mason, because he’s going all the way to the finale! mark my words.” he doesn’t know if he has any solid picks outside of those. “yuri? she has a powerful voice and the necessary star power.” hm, maybe that’s all? no, wait, he remembers one of the dancers leaving an impression and struggles to pronounce her name properly. “jieqiong? she’s pretty and talented; i would expect her to go through.” sungwoon figures he’d better stop there—or he’ll end up naming half the contestants in the competition. “let’s see how many of these work out! remember, 16% error rate!”

is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?

“my third eye broke; i can’t answer that,” sungwoon says, completely straight faced. several moments pass before his expression cracks into a distant smile. “no, seriously—i’m not sure what criteria the judges are basing their assessments on, so i can’t answer. you’d think it would be straightforward, but someone who’s average in a skill can get far based on their sheer charisma and stage presence, right? so i think it could be anyone’s game.” he won’t speculate further; it’s not his place. and he’s worried that if he does start to consider who might be eliminated, a few familiar names could potentially pop into mind.

that’s all for now. thank you!

“thank you! you’ve worked hard.” sungwoon rises and bows to the interviewer and the staff before returning to his seat. he steals a bottle of water from one of the empty enigma members and polishes it off with a cheeky smile. “i need this, guys. i talked a lot,” he complains when they ask. when do you not? someone answers, and sungwoon glares at them playfully before promising to buy another bottle during their break. it’s much easier to stick to smiles and lighthearted conversation before eliminations, and sungwoon does his best to keep the atmosphere cheery.

it’s all he can do for them right now.

[rkminhyun]

                                   MGA SEASON FIVE     ∙       skills performance

                                        𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝘄𝗼     :     𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

                   @danielxrk  /  @rkxsungwoon  /  @rkpwj  /  @rkkenta  /  @rksuwoong                                                                              @jungeunxrk  /  @rkpjy

what did you think of the results last week?

      “shock,  maybe?”  he scratches his cheek whilst in thought,  chuckle on his lips.  “my friends made it through,  and that’s what mattered most to me,  though i held much belief in them till the end.  i think their talent shines through in the best of the ways,  and all their performances to date have only emphasized that.”  a pointed glance in his direction puts him into thought and he realizes he failed to talk about the one person they were probably most curious about in the moment  --  himself.  “though i was satisfied with what i showed,  i can’t deny i wasn’t a little surprised when they called my name,  nevertheless.  pleasantly however!”

and how do you think you did today?

      “today, hmm...”  he trails off,  brows furrowing slightly as he composes his thoughts.  it’s a question he expected,  of course it is,  but he gives himself the moment anyways,  a second to showcase a humbleness he perhaps doesn’t need regardless.  he shrugs slightly,  making a ‘who knows?’ hand gesture.  “i did what i set out to do,  and that’s the best i can ask of myself,  is it not?  no matter the results,  i’m . . . proud of myself.”

what did you think of empty enigma’s performances?

      “oh god,”  he starts off with a laugh,  the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.  where does he even begin?  “daniel’s stood out to me the most this time around  --  he took a chance and relied on the creativity that flows untethered in his veins,  and i respect that.  plus,  i think he did exactly what he set out to do,  show us he’s a man of many talents while entertaining the audience in the process.”  the pride is undoubtedly transparent,  and he moves on before the tips of his ears can flush the way they’re known to.  

      “sungwoon . . . he never disappoints,  and i’m sure everyone would agree all things considered.  woojin,  i’d also say the same for.  his dancing is inspiring,  and quite captivating to watch and i was enthralled with his performance every step of the way.”  he pauses for a moment,  in thought.  

      “kenta’s been a little more of a mystery  --  the talent is undeniable,  but seeing it on a stage like the mgas is a whole other experience.  i’m proud of him.”  he smiles,  soft but sure,  awaiting the next question as if he hadn’t just gushed about his closest friends for however long.

were there any performances you liked?  anyone else?

      “hmm...  you’re bent on making me think, huh?”  he pats his lips with one of his hands,  showing off the image of someone deep in thought.  “there’s a bunch really  --  kim jungeun,  park jinyoung,  lee suwoong,  i suppose.”  he holds back a smile at the last one,  failing to divulge into details but instead hopes he falls back on a more mysterious-vibe.  “too many to pick from really.”

is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the MGAs?

      “is it contradictory to say everyone?”  he rubs at the back of his neck as he speaks,  sheepish in tone.  “i believe in my bandmates the most  --  but i’m inclined to mention suwoong here too.  his charisma is . . . uncanny,  as i’m sure many would say,  and he can turn just about anything into an entertainment piece of work.”  the amusement shines clear in the way he sighs almost inaudibly before shaking his head slightly,  and grinning despite himself.  he’s sure the said male will never let him live it down if this gets aired,  and he’s almost ready to cross his fingers to hope for the very opposite. 

is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?

       he simply shrugs and offers a smile disclosing nothing.  “we’ll just have to see to find that out,  now won’t we?”

[rkhongjoong]

▫︎ ▪︎  ━     <     txts  ;   god voice jinyoung     >

●  [  SENT  ]   /O/ it’s your birthday ~~~ we’re now both officially twenty two ~~~ ●  [  SENT  ]   ㅋ do something fun for me and pretend i’m doing it with you because i can’t be there with you ●  [  UNSENT  ]   sorry i’m not around as much.  you’ll understand soon

▫︎ ▪︎  ━     <     @rkpjy     >

[danielxrk]

          ✞ TEAM JINIELJI * LOVE SHOT  { performance details }

( * mentioned, some very briefly: @rkkhg @hyojinrk @rkxsungwoon @rksihyeon @rkmason @rkminhyun @jacksxnrk @rkpjy @rkkenta @rkpwj @hakyeonrk )

[ event mods this isn’t relevant ]

there’s only one set of interviews to sit through before results-- only a few moments more of this excruciating, agonizing wait. now, he tries to pass it with idle conversation with hyojin and hyunggu, though it’s all surface level, and he can’t focus on any of it. the results come soon enough, and daniel feels nauseated. he doesn’t want to send hyojin home, but if sungwoon gets eliminated, he wants to go down with him, just like last year. it’s only right. this is the only way it makes sense.

the winners come first, and daniel was so preoccupied with fretting that he didn’t even let himself get his hopes up. maybe he forgot this was even a part of the competition with his eagerness for today to be over, so needless to say, when his and hyojin’s names come up in the top three, he’s shocked. he looks over at hyojin mouth agape, but even in his downtrodden state, he can’t help but smile at him. as they make their way up the stage, both with their first appearances in the top three, more than being proud of their performance, he's proud that they made it there together, newbies, undeniably there due to their performance together and not due to a pairing with a front-runner.

his nerves set in back when he's on stage, not because he's afraid for these results, but for the ones that come after, that tension in his shoulders that he tries not to let show on his face, but there is still an inkling of wanting to win. next to these competitors, he doesn't think he has what it takes to best him, but he wants to. he wants to be good enough for that. sia's duo is the one to win, and it's not that he's surprised about that, moreso he's surprised it isn't minho. he looks at him with that surprise written on his face, then bows, and really, top three is more than he could've ever asked for.

that acknowledgement does not stay with him, and does not resurface until far, far later.

next comes the moment he's been waiting for, or dreading, depending on perspective, and-- actually, it doesn't come. what comes are different results he entirely forgot about, and he gets his hopes up that he'll see minhyun, and yet part of him wishes, if sungwoon gets eliminated tonight, that they all do-- that they can go back to the band, and the reason why they're all here. in come jackson and jinyoung, and truthfully, expected, but disappointing-- not that he's disappointed it's them coming back, but minhyun, officially eliminated. their unrealistic hopes of getting signed to the same company and continuing on as a unit, even if not empty enigma in name, gone.

sungwoon's elimination is also expected, but disappointing-- no, devastating. daniel knew. daniel knew in his heart that this was the inevitable result; it's why he reacted so intensely, and yet there was some part of them that hoped the judges would overlook their mistake in favor of what daniel sees in them. saw in them. no, still sees in them, even eunji, with all of their complicated history.

he sits stiff, silently inconsolable, deaf to any words around him through the announcement of the next challenge-- vaguely hears trios and who he's grouped with and nova but doesn't even have the heart appreciate the irony or fate of it all. all he hears is i want to go home, i want to go home, i want to go home, reverberating in every corner of his very existence, and the dreadful sinking feeling that he can't. he can't even leave because it would inconvenience jinyoung and yeji. regardless, when they're done speaking, he practically launches himself out of his chair and rushes over to sungwoon, lacking words, lacking anything but the clear and heavy concern in his eyes. he hugs him, because he hasn't in too long, and he doesn't have the words to explain how he feels, let alone here.

sungwoon pulls away from the hug too soon-- mumbles an apology, and it leaves daniel cold, such an unfamiliar feeling when it comes to sungwoon. "don't be sorry," he says, delayed, likely too late, and he doesn't even know if he means it. he wishes it was different, so he wouldn't be eliminated here, like this, so maybe sungwoon should be sorry, because it could've been prevented. sungwoon could've caught it. maybe he should be sorry, for leaving daniel alone in this without him after everything. he never even considered a reality where he would outlive sungwoon on this show, like it goes against the very laws of the universe.

the exchange of contact information with jinyoung is awkward and reeking of exhaustion from the day's results for both of them, but it's quick, and he already has yeji's, so that makes it all the easier to do what he really wants to do: just leave.

friday, he considers not even showing up-- going to work over going to practice, which is evidence enough of how little he still wants to be in this competition. there is some small, rational albeit often drowned out voice in his head that says you can't leave kenta and woojin alone in this after you dragged them into it, and maybe that's what compels him to go. no-- it's the fact that his boss calls him and tells him he doesn't have to come in, and to just focus on the competition that doesn't give him an excuse anymore. it's like he knew. somehow he just knew daniel so desperately wanted an out and refused to give it to him. daniel on the other hand, knows he'll have to use all of his vacation time for every other day he needs off for this competition, which only makes him want to get eliminated even more.

[ relevancy starts here ]

still, he shows, and unsurprisingly, jinyoung and yeji are already there. he greets them with the ghost of a smile that he doesn't mean, then takes to the practice room floor with them to sort through potential song choices, except...it's mostly jinyoung and yeji deciding. neither daniel's head nor heart are in the right place to contribute, even if he wants to, distant and spacey and empty of his usual inspiration-- emotionally exhausted. 

upon his own arrival in their shared practice room, kenta plows into daniel with a hug, and daniel barely has time to consider the consequences of this action before he casts them aside in favor of clinging to his friend, and this pillar of much needed, albeit distant, support here. “do your best,” he encourages him in a whisper, unable to wish bad upon kenta even if he wants nothing more than for them all to go home to empty enigma. when kenta pulls away, retreating to his side of the practice room, daniel feels better and more desperate to keep them all together simultaneously. he just doesn’t know how to achieve that anymore.

his teammates still call him on his distance, naturally, though daniel is too surprised by it. he jumps, and tries to cover his tracks. i just don't have any ideas yet, he claims, and it's not a lie, even though there's much, much more. they press him more for ideas, and he truly doesn't have any, so he shakes his head, he apologizes, and feels more out of his depth than he has during any other point in the competition. he feels backed into a corner, and he feels terrified, as averse to confrontation as always.

he can't say he just wants to go home. he can't say he doesn't want to be in this competition anymore-- that a large reason he just doesn't have anything to add is because he doesn't want to try, he just wants to be eliminated. the mgas sufficiently sucked the life and soul out of him in a two day period, and he doesn't think he has anything left to give. "i'm not at my best right now," he admits instead. "my friends--" and he sucks in a big breath of air, puffs out his cheeks, and exhales, because he doesn't want to say it. not here, not on camera, not when he's still supposed to want this. "whatever you guys want to do is fine, really."

they still don't take that answer. they can tell he wants to give up, and yeji tries to motivate him gently at first. daniel still can't find it in him to listen to her, so it's jinyoung that takes the direct approach, grabs him by the shoulders and says "if you give up now you realize you're proving everyone right? that you were here just for your band and that without them you can't cope?"

"he's right, oppa. you can't go out without knowing you did your best." it leaves daniel stunned, but he knows they're right. yet in the face of his overwhelming emotions and the talent of his teammates, he doesn't even think he has a right to contribute, even with a growing desire to-- not to avoid his own elimination, but to give them a performance they can be proud of. they go through some more song options, this time, daniel more actively engaged.

they settle on exo as an artist, or at least jinyoung and yeji do, while daniel agrees because at least he actually knows them, after hyojin taught him about so many kpop artists last week. they go through a few of their songs, daniel still listening close to silently, unmoved by most options. "i think any of them would be fine," daniel answers when prompted, and yeji scowls at him. "at least tell us which ones you like better than the others," so daniel does. he points out call me baby when they play it, and love shot especially gives him pause. "i think love shot sounds cool," and the others like it too, so at least it's a song they're all willing to do, though they have no further direction.

"i'm not good at dancing," he supplies, his first meaningful assistance to the team, and they nod, and-- yeah, they probably already knew that. yeji, at least, already knew that. "i wouldn't mind just singing and rapping, but that would disadvantage yeji," jinyoung adds, and daniel nods, albeit hesitantly, knowing he's right once again. still, isn't there a way for them to all do their strengths without forcing themselves into areas they're weak in? then again...does he really care? if he wants to go home, he can dance. that would certainly get him his ticket very quickly, and yet...

yeji takes the opportunity, now that they've decided on a song, to go get herself some water. "you're still quiet," jinyoung notes, and daniel blinks, wide-eyed, not conscious of his time zoned out. "i was thinking about the performance. promise," he assures him, but jinyoung still looks skeptical.

"so, what were you thinking?" jinyoung asks him, and daniel hesitates once again.

"i was thinking...do we all need to do each other's strengths, or...?" he doesn't know whether he should share more of those thoughts, and yet, "i was thinking me dancing would be a surefire way for me to go home." he doesn't need to tell him how much he wants to go home.

"then what would you rather show?" it’s not...exactly accusatory, but daniel worries it’s accusatory.

"i don't...think i have very much to show, especially not anything i didn't already. it'll be just like eric said,"  a repeat.

"and you think the little kid has something better to show? take what he said and use it. fight, don't just stand there and let him and all the others decide who you are.  because i'm honestly starting to believe them," and the classic evidence of their birthplace, busan, makes an appearance: satoori.

daniel gawks, and feels his heart somewhere in his stomach, freezes up in the face of such unavoidable, explosive confrontation, and it's his nature to want to diffuse it by any means possible-- to concede and cower and back down, and yet he has more confidence than he did before-- than he did last year. now, there is a fire, however small, and it all converges in a "you don't know who i am," albeit muted, an emergence of his own satoori, and he means it in more ways than one.

jinyoung. daniel and jinyoung knew each other a long time ago, back in that shared birthplace, when they were young, and before daniel's family whisked themselves away to vancouver following a job opportunity for his father. they did so quietly, and daniel, at least, told no one, young and unsure entirely what moving would entail-- only sure that he certainly didn't want to stumble through any goodbyes, conflict-averse even then. so he just didn't say any, including to jinyoung, and he never saw him again until on this show. daniel is certain this fact is a motivator behind many of jinyoung's harsh words toward him; he must resent him for leaving busan without saying goodbye, as so many have. it's understandable. it must be personal.

jinyoung is clearly tired of daniel's self-deprecation, on top of his lack of input and lack of spirit. "if you want to show you’re your own person, it's time to prove it. you're creative and good-looking; put these assets to work. show us who you are."

yeji, apparently returned from her water break without daniel's knowledge chimes in with a, "show us who you are," the same time as jinyoung's.

"i'm sorry," he says, and he once again knows they're right. he wants to prove it. if he's going to go down (and he's sure he's going to go down) then he wants to do it fighting, especially since yeji and jinyoung won't accept anything less, rightfully so. "i just don't know what to do," a response out of instinct, more desperation in his voice.

"did you improve since last year at all?" jinyoung asks regardless, busan dialect still strong, and daniel's resolve strengthens too-- his near non-existent temper flares, because this is an answer he knows. this-- all promotion of empty enigma aside-- is why he's here for a second year in a row.

"are you here to diss each other or practice?” yeji asks them, clearly unamused herself, but that doesn't stop daniel from responding.

"yes!" he argues back, with feeling, even if he deflates a little, immediately guilty of anything resembling an outburst, but his renewed strength still remains. "i used to be bad at everything, but now i'm decent at two things. plus, i can play multiple instruments, i can arrange music and write songs, and--"

yeji looks right at him. "did you already perfect the entire dance choreo oppa? is that why you are acting like this? AT LEAST SPEAK KOREAN IF YOU ARE GONNA FIGHT."

"we are speaking korean!" jinyoung and daniel fire back in unison.

"look at you, you're synchronized already."

yeji's dragging them out of their argument is successful, like a bucket of much needed cold water poured on daniel to calm him down, and he actually manages a little laugh. he looks over at jinyoung, and he doesn't look as upset as he should be, all things considered.

"you can do this, and prove everyone wrong, but to be able to, you need to believe in yourself, and you need to participate," jinyoung says, more calmly now, and daniel wonders if jinyoung wanted to make him snap, just so he'd finally take a stand for something.

"okay," daniel agrees, because jinyoung has been right all along, and he knows it. daniel has received enough criticism to last him a whole year from the netizens online, and from people in their interviews, and even someone as passive as he is wants to make them take it back. he wants to invalidate them, and each week he survives is more and more proof that they were wrong. even if he still doesn't want to survive this week, he does want to put together a performance that will make them eat their words. "i'll do my best, but let's try to dance as little as possible so we do well?"

"so, are we going to hug, or are we going to argue in satoori again?" jinyoung asks, and daniel laughs, and reaches toward him for a hug, however awkward.

yeji coos at them in the background, and subsequently gets pulled into a hug along with them, and maybe this conflict, at the very least, wasn't as bad as daniel thought.

when they pull away, daniel is finally ready to get down to business, and the fog in his mind clears just enough for him to finally have an idea.

"jinyoung can sing, yeji can dance, and i can rap." he can't rap that well, but he can-- better than anyone else on this team, and it may be an asset here. "can we do something with that? each of us putting our respective skills on display? i'd like to do a different arrangement too, if we could," because if they want him to show who he is, that's an important part.

they agree to that, and daniel goes further with the idea, goaded on by their approval. "we can give jinyoung the first singing part, and give me the first rapping part, and give yeji a dance solo afterwards to really highlight it. then we can all sing and rap together, combining those two skills, and then..." god, he doesn't want to say it. he doesn't want to do it.

"dance?" yeji asks, and daniel nods, very hesitantly. "i think it would make the most sense...for all three skills to come together at the end. just-- not too much!! okay?" and yeji agrees to that too. "we could start out all sitting down, and you can play your guitar, oppa, and then dance after that?" yeji offers, and daniel nods. the guitar is an important part of his identity too, after all. they listen to the original love shot over and over, deciding which parts they want to include, and what they want to cut to keep within their three minute timeframe. daniel is very careful; he learned the dangers of not checking times the hard way last week, and yet-- he wonders if it would be so bad for them to mess this up, knowing he's the weakest performer of the three, and that he would likely take the fall for it. no, they'll catch that mistake, even if daniel wanted to put them through that embarrassment (he doesn't.)

after that, they separate, yeji to figure out what parts of the dance they should do, and how much, and jinyoung and daniel to do the line distribution. "i was thinking it would be cool if we open with your singing, so it focuses on that individual skill, then i rap, so it focuses on that one, and then yeji has her dance solo for the chorus to focus on that skill, them separated like that, and maybe a spotlight on each of us as we do each part, so we aren't just standing there," he laughs, and jinyoung gives his approval, and daniel smiles, pleased his ideas are being received so well after the trouble he gave them earlier. they listen to the original love shot over and over, and daniel shares his thoughts on how he'll change the arrangement so jinyoung will know how to best match the lyrics to it and assign them.

they gather together once again once the line distribution is done, however, and yeji isn't pleased. she sends daniel a glare, and he's taken aback. “are you underestimating me?” what is it, not enough lines? he looks down at the sheet, and he supposes his and jinyoung's lines usurp her own, but he thought such a long dance solo during the first chorus would put her on their level; he wanted to highlight them all. but no, she wants to sing before her dance solo, and daniel doesn't say that kind of ruins the entire concept, even if he wants to. instead, his fear of conflict wins out, and he insists, "no!!" and if she wants more lines...he looks to jinyoung, since it's his she'll be taking. "it's up to jinyoung hyung!" and he grins. understandably, jinyoung has her sing the lines she looks to take, and when she passes his test, they edit the line distribution accordingly.

he tries not to let his disappointment show. with this change, they still find a way to highlight their skills: a spotlighted bridge for jinyoung, and yeji's dance solo stays, as does her own spotlight. all that's left is daniel, and his...spotlighted rap? "rapping isn't my best skill," he admits, and he realizes how it sounds-- "not that i'm bad at it!" he might be. "i'm just better with instruments, so maybe my highlighted point should be with my guitar." they talk over a potential guitar solo for daniel, and where to place it; yeji suggests they use it as they instrumental of the first half of the first chorus, preceding yeji's dance solo, but daniel shakes his head, because he wants her to have that all to herself.

"maybe an intro?" he offers, and they're all in agreement. he'll play the familiar love shot chorus from the very start, so everyone knows exactly what they're in for-- well, hopefully not exactly. daniel still aims to take the audience by surprise, as he always does, as predictable as they claim he is. this entire competition, he's proceeded with a determination to present different performances, all connected by the thread of who he really is, and this time, he intends to do the same.

there's just the very unfortunate fact that he didn't bring his guitar with him today.

so saturday he comes into practice with it strapped to his back, thoughts and heart more in order to do his best even if he still wishes he was already eliminated. he wasn't, so, he'll...well, he still doesn't really know what he'll do. his best? he doesn't know what his best is right now, either. maybe his best right now is worse than it's ever been, but he tries not to let himself sink too far into that mindset, lest he incur jinyoung's wrath again.

this time, he actually arrives before his teammates, and he sits with his guitar, expanding on the bare bones of the arrangement he started putting together when he got home last night (though he was mostly just too tired to get through much.)

yeji arrives first, and when she does, she wastes little time-- says “i have fixed the choreo, so that you should be able to dance it,” and nods, and he can see her determination. "great," he replies, dripping in far too much sarcasm, so he repeats it, brightly this time, and with a smile: "great!"

the day is spent starting on the choreography, since they all know that's what daniel will need the most work in, and him sufficiently getting his ass kicked, both by the very act of dancing, and his teammates as well. when he needs a break, he can return to the ever-present comfort of his guitar, grateful for the fact that this is still useful to their performance too, not just an excuse to avoid dancing or to take his mind off of the trials of the past few days and the inevitable ones to come. he listens to the original love shot, translates them to different sounds, all instruments he can manage in his head, and the others run their lines, and yeji chips away at her dance solo. thankfully, they leave him to this until yeji decides he's remained idle for too long and forces him into more dance practice.

all is well until the staff informs them that their plans for spotlights aren't allowed, all lighting to remain the same throughout all performances, and daniel becomes dejected. not only was his original plan for layering skills one on top of the other thrown out eventually, but their one to literally spotlight each of their strengths is foiled now, too. they discuss how to change this-- how to make their highlighted moments less awkward for the others, and with that settled, it's back to the dancing.

he hasn't danced in so long-- at least not properly. the last time was when joohyun tried to help him with this fruitless pursuit before trc's triple threat challenge, but he quickly opted out of that in favor of only singing and rapping, thus throwing the competition altogether in favor of enjoying the stage itself. huh. maybe this is a common thread. since then, the last time he danced was on the last season of the mgas, unlike his band-mates, who all surpassed him in dancing by a long shot within the past year.

it's so utterly clear how out of his element he is, and even more, how little he wants to be in this element. he stumbles and he forgets moves, head still foggy and not entirely present despite a renewed will to do his best since yesterday, and he apologizes. he apologizes and apologizes again and again, mistake after mistake. “don’t apologize for making mistakes, just practice so you don’t make them when we are performing– this is where you can make mistakes,” yeji says, and it's equal parts kind and stern; daniel can appreciate her approach, and he nods.

however, jinyoung chimes in with a, "if you get a move wrong during the actual performance will you start saying sorry? because that won't do," which daniel appreciates a great deal less, regardless of the statement's validity. he doesn't want to argue again-- knows they don't have time for arguing again, and wouldn't know what to say if he wanted to, so he just replies with a resigned "no," and gets back to practice.

his guilt with every mistake doesn't quite lesson, nor does his compulsive need to apologize every time he doesn't reach a certain standard of perfection (thanks, mom) so an apology slips past his lips again on instinct, and this time, it's not one of his teammates that scolds him. instead, it's jungeun from the other team.

"i know we're on different teams but if you don't get your shit together then you might as well tune your bass again instead of being here," she says, and daniel, once again, is taken back by her sheer audacity, and he stares for several moments, fighting back his clenching jaw and fists for the sake of the cameras, choosing his words very carefully, because he will be the one to make her look bad here if he can help it. his gaze is still harder than usual, even if he keeps his expression level, masked by something pleasant. "i'm going to get better just so i can beat you jungeun-ssi," he says, and he bows to her slowly, making the under-handedness of it more apparent, even if it could be mistaken as something respectful and bright.

he returns to practice with a renewed determination after that, and less apologies, accompanied by yeji into the night. jungeun's words twist in his head long enough that they weigh heavily on him before long, another reminder that if he can't do better, he doesn't deserve to be here. if he doesn't want to be here, that should be just fine, right? it's not like he disagrees with her, but someone else saying it...if sungwoon was still here, it would be easier to endure-- easier to believe he deserves to be anywhere sungwoon still is, too. but sungwoon isn't here. here, it's just daniel, jinyoung and yeji, and kenta, farther out of reach than daniel wants him to be, jungeun and hansol by his side, like they're all suspended in their own corner of the universe while gravity still pulls daniel somewhere else.

[ no reading necessary unless you want to read some emo gay shit ]

he follows that pull to the familiar door of the sharehouse the other empty enigma members occupy, and lets himself in with the key he's kept ever since he lived on their couch while searching for his own place. he doesn't know who he expects find there, if anyone- all of them out practicing or asleep, but his feet still carry him to that sofa anyway and he lays there, face down, entirely exhausted. he feels better already; he misses them, and just being here eases that feeling.

"quit being a baby," and it's sungwoon's voice. daniel doesn't reply-- just stays there, and he feels movement, the couch dips by his head, sungwoon squeezing in to sit. daniel is too drained to even lift his head, and sungwoon runs his fingers through daniel's hair, and they just stay like that, silent. sungwoon, always reliable, quiet companionship even after his own elimination, and daniel missed him.

when he finally speaks, it's "sungwoon, i love you and i don't want to do this without you," and it's without even a thought-- not a single worry, so simple to say, like it's the easiest thing in the world. daniel doesn't even think of the potential impact of those words, spoken so casually-- words daniel sees as just a quiet, indisputable fact, and a fact he's known for what seems like so long. thoughts stripped away by exhaustion, new troubles on his shoulders temporarily on hold, and for once, this is not one of them. it's easy. (one day, he'll tell sungwoon he's been in love with him since last of the real ones, and that what started as a feeling he tried to stifle and choke back then grew into a truth he just knows now. he doesn't think to do that either, relaxed into this rare slice of reality where he doesn't need to think at all.)

“you have to do it," sungwoon tells him, and where daniel would usually protest anywhere else, for sungwoon, he listens, and turns so he can look up at him. "for me, and for minhyun, and for kenta and woojin.” sungwoon really wants him to keep going forward. there's a part of him that wishes he would've just said you can come home anytime. he craves validation for his feelings, but it only becomes clearer and clearer that they just aren't. "i love you. i believe in you," sungwoon adds, and daniel feels his vision blur, and tells himself it's because of exhaustion and not tears-- not because sungwoon's love remains overwhelming and undeserved, or because it always comes when he needs it most.

he covers his face with his hands, and lets out a long groan to hide the depth of his emotions, before he answers with a begrudging, "fine," but he's only kidding. how can he not do it for sungwoon and the others? if he was willing to go home for them, how can he not fight for them too, if they want him to? he doesn't want to leave kenta and woojin alone in a competition he dragged them into, either.

he inches forward until his head is in sungwoon's lap, and he stares off toward the turned off tv in front of him, and what he says is soft: "i just want all of us to be able to stay together." i want to be able to stay with you.

"we're not going anywhere," sungwoon responds, and it's without much air. daniel doesn't think he can say it and mean it, even less that he can be certain of it, but daniel wants to believe. he wants to believe he didn't drive empty enigma to its death in a venture intended only to benefit it, even though with each passing day in the competition, it becomes clearer and clearer that they aren't emerging unscathed. if he, kenta and woojin survive until the end, and obtain one of those contracts none of them expected or wanted, even then, they will only be at half strength. even less is the likelihood that the same company will want any of them, or their past history as a metal band. daniel wants to believe it's all or nothing-- that they all would succeed together, and now the only option is for them to go down together.

"i don't wanna be a dumb trainee, i wanna be in my dumb band," daniel whines, and he almost kicks his feet to punctuate the tantrum, but that would require more movement than his already sore limbs are capable of. he continues to complain, and to whine, but only because he's already made up his mind to do his best from now on, because they want him to succeed, and he doesn't want to make them sit through him moping on television any more than he already has. sungwoon endures him, and when daniel has run out of worries to spout, quelled in the security of his presence, he lets himself fully sink into sungwoon's support.

he doesn't realize he fell asleep until he wakes up, suddenly confused about where he is and what he's doing and what year it is. "what the fuck..." he mumbles, and he turns and looks up, and there sungwoon still is, and previously conscious daniel's thoughts and recollection finally bleed into presently conscious daniel's for everything to make sense.

"it’s 2022. the world has ended. the only people left alive are you and me. there are zombies outside of this apartment," sungwoon says.

"oh, okay," daniel plays along like that makes sense, and he still just looks up at him. "not a bad way to go," too sincere, eyes drowsy but unmistakably fond.

sungwoon looks kind of frozen, and the weight and meaning of what he just said settles in, so daniel backpedals-- hint of a smile disappears, replaced by a growing blush. "well, i guess the zombie part would kind of suck, but--" not you. not being with you.

"nevermind," he chuckles, nervous. "i guess i should leave at some point, huh?"

"you can stay over if you want. on account of the zombies. you know."

"well, i guess it would be pretty dangerous to go outside," daniel jokes, like he's considering this offer for these reasons alone, and really, he is, but he rubs his eyes. "no, i want to, but i really should go. i have church tomorrow morning and i don't think i could get away with wearing clothes i practiced in the day before."

he lingers for a little longer, trying to sear this into his memory for the days, maybe weeks, he'll have to go forward without him, and then he finally sits up. when he stands, it's with an over-exaggerated groan on behalf of everything in his body that aches.

"be safe," sungwoon tells him.

"yeah! i will," daniel replies easily. "see you soon, sungwoon hyung," and it's a promise.

when he gets home, after he falls into bed:

✉ ⊰ sungwoon hyung ⊱  ✉ wait, you think the world is ending in three years?

[ the gay emo shit is over but this still isn't relevant ]

sunday morning comes, and daniel, used to lack of sleep as he is, still gets out of bed, gets ready, and goes. it all comes as some kind of relief-- usual routine to remind him that some of life is still the same, even in the earthquake of his own. he picks his grandmother up, and she congratulates him on making it to the top three, and he smiles, and apologizes to her in advance for the upcoming performance. apologizing for how bad his dancing will be, or for the nature of said dancing? a mystery.

[ warning: homophobia ]

she tells him about her week as he drives, and he listens, and finds solace in this, too-- familiar noise to root himself in, unshakable love found everywhere even in trying times. when they arrive at church, she pulls him into a warm hug, and she is clearly the more powerful one despite how he towers over her in height. he hugs her back, and shuts his eyes, and it's like she just knows, without him ever telling her the details of his band, or about sungwoon, or minhyun. she just knows, and he tries not to dwell on what she might think if he told her everything about sungwoon he has to say.

service comes as a comfort too, and it puts his head back on straight. ultimately, none of this is for him to decide. it's not just a matter of him not being able to control the judges, or whatever plan they have for him and the empty enigma members, but it's about all of this being...bigger than him. it's about empty enigma being a blessing granted to him that he was never guaranteed he would get to keep-- one he never expressed enough gratitude for, and it's about whatever it is god is writing out for him, and about trust. it's a reminder that despite this overwhelming feeling of life spinning entirely out of control, if what he claims to believe is true, that still operates within god's perfect sphere of control.

so this is all a part of god's perfect plan. he tries to accept it at face value, and not dig too deep into it-- not to wonder if this is the shoe finally dropping on him and sungwoon, evidence that god wants to tear them apart, and that daniel has overstepped boundaries, or at the very least, pushed them too far.

[ homophobia end ]

when the service ends, he stays behind, sending his grandmother ahead of him, sitting as the place clears out, because there's much to pray about, so he does.

he prays for guidance, and the right attitude going into the rest of the week, and that god would keep empty enigma together, or help him accept it if that's not his will. he prays for the others in the competition: strength for woojin and kenta, and that their time practicing is successful and isn't too trying, and that regardless of what happens, they'd give performances they're proud of. he prays for sungwoon and minhyun-- for comfort for them, and peace, and happiness going into the future. (he prays that he can meet them there.)

he thanks god for his teammates, and how willing they are to help him, as much as he's tried their patience, and he prays for energy for them and for their success, and that he would only help them going forward, and not burden them too much. he prays that he would learn, and that he would improve, and that by thursday, he'll be a source of pride for them and not embarrassment.

the response he gets is i know what's best. trust. do your best with what i've given you, so he does. he will leave his fate in god's hands, where it belongs, and accept whatever result he receives going forward, without trying to manipulate it himself.

[ relevancy: begin ! ]

he goes into practice afterwards like a whole new man, ready to work and make up for time he lost to his grief and uncertainty the days prior. he runs his lines with the others, plays through the entire guitar part of the arrangement he's settled while they do, sings the other instrumental parts he's thinking for jinyoung and yeji, and notes them down in his notebook for his own reference later. he throws himself into dance practice with renewed vigor too, and only requests a break when he sees that the team they share a practice room with taking one too.

when they do, he returns to his guitar, and calls kenta over, meeting somewhere against a wall where their practice spaces converge. "does this sound cool?" he asks, eager for approval from empty enigma's lead guitarist and the very man that taught him guitar in the first place, and he plays his intended guitar intro for him, a little apprehensive. as he should've expected, kenta meets him with much warmth and excitement. "that sounds really cool!" he assures him, and daniel grins. "really? okay! thank you! that's all i needed you for," and the smile doesn't leave his face, especially not with this teasing. when kenta makes a great show of pretending to be wounded, daniel lightly punches him in the arm. "get back to work! you're being a distraction!"

they find their way back to practice with their teams, who may not be very happy about them fraternizing with the enemy, but it was for a good cause. "i think i have the whole arrangement down. i just need to record the instrumental tonight."

and still, they practice without it, daniel's guitar intro, jinyoung's singing, daniel's rapping, yeji's voice joining them, and for the part of yeji's dance break, daniel sings the soft "nananananana"s and starts doing the cupid shuffle in place of the choreography yeji hasn't quite settled on yet. he grins at his teammates, and sure, he's goofing off, but at least he's practicing his dancing, right?

he practices the relevant dancing after, yeji always the persistent teacher, correcting his mistakes. 

( “i can’t spread my legs like that!” daniel insists, despite already resolving himself to do so by any means necessary.

"you did it last year, didn't you?" jinyoung chimes in.

"not this," daniel argues.

"oppa! they're basically squats. it's not hard! quit whining. you can do it." )

he takes his leave early enough to run to the studio before it closes, bringing all of the necessary instruments with him. he tirelessly records the instrumental for their mellow, yet still sultry remix, true to the original even with its differences. as always, he records a backtrack with all instruments, and then one without the live instruments-- this time, his guitar, just in case. when he listens to the finished product, he's satisfied, and maybe even proud-- and it's also very late, so he heads home, and manages to get a little more sleep than he did the rest of the week.

he comes in monday with both his guitar and a recorded instrumental, and thankfully, jinyoung and yeji like the finished product too. he grins, pleased after they give him their approval, and then it's time to practice for real, backtrack and all, and their performance grows closer and closer to entirely complete. they pretend to hold microphones for the parts where they'll have them, figure out where to put them when they won't, practice with daniel's guitar and without, and practice where to stand when each of them get their (metaphorical) spotlight, all of it choreographed to give them direction in case they freeze come performance day, but daniel knows they won't. sometimes daniel forgets, but he actually has more stage experience than most, and he trusts it to carry him through.

during a break, daniel checks his phone for any urgent messages (or any encouraging them too, always looking forward to one from haknyeon, but never disappointed when it doesn't come, completely understanding of the strain he must be under while preparing to debut.) for better or worse, he opens up naver, looking at comments on the most recent article about mgas. one stands out to him: praise for he and hyojin's performance, which he appreciates, yet...another comment on how often he's played guitar. it troubles him. truly, daniel worried about this already-- always concerned with becoming too repetitive, and what truly qualifies as a new side of himself, and whether he should push the boundaries of what that means. he wants to remain true to himself, but he's tired of it.

jinyoung fusses at him for being on his phone, and daniel's head snaps up, quickly putting it away, and he returns to practice, but before long, he expresses his thoughts. "hey, i've been thinking about something," he begins, and both yeji and jinyoung give him their attention. "there are a lot of comments about me...being repetitive, and people wondering when i'll put away my guitar. i think they think i hide behind it," maybe he does.

"you can just do your guitar intro, and instead of playing guitar the whole time, put it away afterwards?" jinyoung suggests. "that's what i was thinking," yeji adds. daniel grins, "yeah, that's kind of what i was thinking too. should we?" he still isn't sure, but maybe he'll take his teammates' simultaneous thinking on this as a sign that he really should. if he already wouldn't mind going home, and he's sure he'll be eliminated if they're in the bottom five, what does he really have to lose? if he wants to show he's on this show for something other than his band, he can set aside what most links him to it for a round to prove it. "okay, let's do it," daniel agrees, that smile back on his face.

there's just one thing: like this, he doesn't quite get to show off his main talent as much as the others. he wants to request a way to make his intro stand out as much as yeji and jinyoung's individual parts do, and he also wants to throw his guitar playing in the face of everyone who doubted him, and-- "you can sit in the center, and play your guitar intro, and make everyone that doubted you think 'here's daniel, playing his guitar again,' and then you can put it down and prove them all wrong," jinyoung says again. "i was thinking that, too!" yeji chimes in in disbelief. "yeah, me too," daniel admits, mouth agape, but then he laughs, and they all do. "can i have the five seconds of time we have left for my guitar intro? then i can play the whole chorus," and they agree to that, too. maybe their synergy is finally where it should be.

for some reason, when yeji makes her way to the practice room's exit, she runs straight into the door. maybe she's tired; understandable. still, daniel practically jumps, eyes wide, but jinyoung beats him to asking if she's okay, so he decides to stay back and let him handle it. yeji sits down after that, checking her phone, and daniel gives her some time before he makes his way over to her. "what, you can be on your phone and i can't?" he teases.

"the one time i am!!" yeji protests.

"i'm kidding, i'm kidding!" daniel replies, and yeji just pouts, so he takes a seat next to her. he's not just worried about her smacking her head, but about her checking her phone; unlike him, yeji has been so focused, so he hopes something isn't wrong to prompt this.

"are you okay?" he asks, a general question, and yeji nods, but he stays seated with her until she's ready to practice again, and when she is, jumps back to his feet, ready to join her.

when he's actually committed to practice and improving, and giving the best performance he can come thursday, his confidence grows. he still thinks he's a terrible dancer, but by monday, he has all of the choreography memorized, and can go through it without stopping. there's still time to improve, so maybe by the time they take the stage, he'll only be a mild to moderate embarrassment to his team instead of a massive one. he can hope. he'll pretend it's the case regardless, because it's not like he's talking them out of dancing now. it would be a humongous waste of effort, too.

maybe it's this confidence, or looking through performances of love shot to try to capture the right energy in the dance that compels him to want the last line of the song that accompanies the ending pose. it's memorable, and something close to poignant, and he thinks he can sell that where he can't sell his dancing. as jinyoung said, he's handsome and creative; he should put these assets to use. he knows his face and his instruments are his biggest strengths, and he's not going to use an instrument for long, so that leaves the former as the primary quality he needs to present strongly, so he timidly approaches yeji.

"do you think...i could do the ending line?" he wants to sing a little more. he's more experienced with singing, so he thinks that's still his biggest strength of the three idols are expected to display, even if it's by a small margin. aside from that, he wants to leave his impact in the performance-- hopefully a positive note to end on even if everyone watching found his dancing comically bad. he asks yeji instead of jinyoung for a few reasons: one, because he's scared shitless of jinyoung. two: because yeji has fewer singing lines, and if she doesn't want to part with any, he'd understand. three: because yeji is the judge of his dancing, and should know whether him doing the final line is justified.

“if you can do the entire choreo without making a mistake by the end of today, i’ll consider it,” is her response, eyebrow raised, rightfully critical.

"okay," he agrees, still with his natural hesitation. "does it count if i don't make a mistake but it isn't very good?" his expectations aren't very high, which means they're realistic.

"if you don't make a mistake it will look good," yeji returns, and she thinks too much of him, surely.

"since it's at the end it should only be a reward if i've looked strong enough up to that point," he says, measuredly. he doesn't think he'll look strong enough, but he wants to try anyway. "so if i don't look good enough don't give it to me, okay?"

“if you don’t look good, it will be highlighted when you are in the center position. it will throw the performance off. is that something you will be happy about?” he opens his mouth to reply, then shuts it, because she's right.

" ....no," daniel answers. the last thing he wants to do is throw the performance off, especially more than he already has with his mediocre dancing (mediocre is generous.) " that's what i was saying, i just thought-- no, it's okay. i don't need it, you're right."

"are you giving up that easily?"

"i don't know; i just want the performance to be the best it can be for everyone," he says. he still wants the line, but he doesn't want his greed to affect them negatively, especially after they've worked so hard. if it will highlight weaknesses more than strengths, it's far from worth it. if this highlights his dancing, it will certainly be a weakness.

"i said if i don't think it looks good, not if you don't think it looks good." well, valid. yeji does have a better eye for these things, and he's sure to be more critical of himself than anyone else is. well. maybe. jinyoung might have him beat there.

"if i'm strong enough, it would be nice so i can have a part in the final chorus and sing again," he shares, and that much is true, but it's not really his main purpose for asking; it's just a bonus. "and because...i'm sure people will have bad things to say about it. if i'm better than they expect, it'll be an exclamation mark on me doing well. if i'm worse than they expect, it'll be an exclamation mark on the fact that i did it anyway and they had to see me do it, right? i want to throw it in their face," and he says it with more determination than he has all week. there is still a part of him that will not lay down and let them kick him while he does. there is a part of him spiteful, desperate to use that as fuel to reach new heights, and halfway through their practice time, it finally rears its head. "but only if you think it looks good," he adds with a sheepish smile, just in case he got too overconfident for a moment.

"so practice, show me what you've got."

"yes. i will."

so he attacks practice with that same determination. they run through the entire performance together, then they split up to work on their own individual parts, helping each other where it's needed, which mostly means jinyoung helping yeji with her singing and yeji helping them both with their dancing as needed, but it gives him a little time to practice dancing by himself. he keeps his eyes trained on the mirror, and by now, after watching yeji and the original choreography so many times, he can tell when he messes up. he can tell when he's out of time, or when he misses a move, or mis-steps, but he no longer apologizes. he starts over, practicing in both slow motion and full speed, and he tries to learn.

when the day ends, he stands in front of yeji. he's not confident in his dancing yet, but he is confident he'll show yeji the best dancing he's ever shown her. the music starts, and he dances it at full speed, and he focuses-- doesn't let his mind wander, doesn't let it fill with self-doubt and criticism, just dances, and when he finishes, he looks to yeji expectantly.

“you can have it, if jinyoung oppa agrees,” yeji decides, and the smile she gives him is so uncharacteristically warm for this week that he can't help but stare in disbelief. “i’m proud of you oppa,” she says. "really?" daniel asks, still shocked, but a grin blooms onto his face before long, too. "okay! if you're sure!" and jinyoung does agree.

daniel stays a little later regardless, just because he doesn't want to leave yeji alone while she finalizes her dance solo, and he knows the more he practices the dance, the closer it'll get to being something serviceable. eventually though, he bids farewell to yeji, if only so he has enough time to transition from practice daniel to working-at-a-coffee-shop-at-5-am daniel, because he has work the next day, or more accurately, in the morning.

by tuesday, yeji shows daniel her finished dance solo. he watches with rapt attention, but no intention to criticize, because he knows he has far from any right. of course, there's nothing to criticize anyway, because it's powerful and makes the most of every second assigned to her for their instrumental, so he smiles. "i don't know anything about dancing, yeji-yah, but i think it looked really cool!" and that's important, because he figures much of the audience will be watching from that perspective. he's sure it will look good to anyone's eye; he is grouped with the one judges deemed the best dancer in the competition, after all. "i think it matched the music well, too."

more practice, and daniel feels almost giddy to have it all put together now, and two full days to practice exactly how it will be on stage. doubt still comes in waves: should i have pushed for something where we could all sing instead? should i have fought harder for us not to dance, if we weren't going with my original idea of layering skills over each other? will i be nothing but a burden without my guitar? am i betraying who i really am? i came on this show to show people why they should support empty enigma; am i selling out by doing this? do i really have anything to show?

he's just better at combating it now, even if it still shakes him up at moments. it's too late to make any changes. he doesn't want to. the last thing he wants to do is make a change to try to benefit himself and appear unprepared on stage instead. this is what they're doing, and all he can do is his best with what they've settled on, and when he has confidence, he thinks it's something good. it should be entertaining. even if his dancing is bad, that will be entertaining too, right? if he's going down-- and he has a good feeling he's going down --at least he'll go down trying everything in the book, a stronger and more diverse performer than the daniel of last year's mgas. an artist.

the two teams in the practice room exist in relative harmony, aside from jungeun's criticism of daniel and his subsequent new fear of her. there are kenta's glances thrown his way, and kenta's...general clownery, and hansol tends to keep to himself and mind his own business, which daniel appreciates over another person against him. he's only really bothered by them come wednesday, when they're...breathing heavily? intentionally? he doesn't know their choice of song (well, he does now, after listening to it so many times in practice) but that can't be part of it, can it?

"is it the other team, or just daniel dying?" jinyoung asks, and it's so uncharacteristic of his serious nature that daniel can't help laugh. really, it would be funny with anyone saying it, but even moreso in this case. "both," he answers, righting himself from where he was already bent over, hands on his thighs, catching his own breath.

as their time comes to a close on wednesday, it's bittersweet, and a little nerve-wracking. all that's left is to perform, but aside from that, it's the last he'll be able to practice with everyone here, the other team included. even with yeji and jinyoung's harshness with him, his time with them will end tomorrow, one way or another. he doesn't know what time he's guaranteed with kenta going forward, either, but he tries not to think about that too much so his emotions don't get the best of him again. he's grown used to retro future team's presence too, and there's something comforting about practicing in the company of five other people that there just isn't on his own with only one other person or by himself. there's something about this that daniel loves-- teamwork, striving toward something with other people. the evidence is in both his band and his appreciation of all of the group stages of last year's mgas.

kenta bids them farewell with one final act of tomfoolery, something he declares is a magic trick, and daniel's primary thought is oh man, i have to see this. still, he gives his friend his attention as he dramatically waves is hand around a kleenx box, only to pull one out and pretend it's some huge feat. daniel looks on, expression mostly confused, until he does it again and tosses it behind him-- then he has to hold back his easily-won laughter. then, kenta starts pulling out all of the tissues, and daniel shakes his head.

"i'm not helping you clean that up!" he makes very clear, though the smile is still on his face, and he drops it, joking, "and i have to blow my nose..." even though he doesn't. kenta isn't done with them however, and says "it was worth a shot..and a love shot," firing a finger gun at them, and daniel groans and rolls onto the floor in his embarrassment.

on the day of recording, his feelings are conflicted. for one, he's thankful to sit in between yeji and jinyoung, for maximum support, which-- thankfully (surprisingly?) they're thoroughly giving him, anticipating his nerves. granted, if he and yeji switched places, he could sit next to kenta, but for some reason, he thinks like this, it's better for his focus. this way, he won't let his thoughts drift to empty enigma, and that emotion of last week won't creep into his thoughts and weigh him down again after everyone fought so hard to send it away. yeji keeps reassuring him that it'll be alright, and jinyoung offers a pat to his thigh every so often, silent reassurance, as is so true to him.

"it will be," he answers yeji, flashing her a smile, and really, the more she says it, the more nervous he gets, even though he knows she means well. the more he watches the performances preceding him, he gets nervous too-- all stronger dancers than he, and he grows more and more convinced he's about to get up on stage an humiliate himself, but jinyoung and yeji worked too hard for him to bring shame to them, so he'll give them his absolute best. he hopes when they watch this performance back, they'll be more proud than they are embarrassed.

retro future team's performances precedes theirs, and it's fun to watch them-- to see the result of all the practice they shared during the past week, and it seems to have paid off. daniel enjoys it, and as always, it's great to see kenta on stage, and see how he grows week to week, and during it, with the realization that their time comes after, daniel slips into a state of eerie calm.

it's not unfamiliar, but in this venue, it is: the cameo confidence, the razor sharp, in-his-element focus that comes before he steps on stage at an empty enigma show. there is some small inkling of a thought that he has no right to feel this way here, but its quickly stifled by this new self-assured certainty. no going back now. i want people to say i'm bad at dancing but still gif my face.

when he steps on stage, guitar and its stand in tow-- evidence that today will be a little different, for anyone that cares to pay attention-- it stays. he sets his guitar down in the stand, only for their intro. "we are the love shot," they say in unision, before jinyoung shouts "ji!" and holds the iconic love shot finger gun to his lips. "niel!" he shouts, and he does the same, standing so they're all back to back. "ji!" yeji finishes, and they all hold the pose for a moment before daniel picks up his guitar and stand and they scurry toward the chairs center stage. they sit in the same order they did in the audience: yeji, daniel, then jinyoung.

daniel opens them up, and thankfully, it's not with dancing. he starts on a high note-- his best: with the guitar. he put the best of his guitar into this intro too, in case the audience forgot. he knows they haven't forgotten he plays the guitar, but maybe they forgot how good he is. has it ever really been on display on the mga stage? maybe not, but he shows it off now, playing the iconic love shot chorus so they know exactly what they're in for, and yet-- they don't. he sets the guitar down on its stand, defying the expectation that he would cling to it for yet another performance, and then they all stand.

the instrumental kicks in, and there's a distant it's the love shot in it that opens it up into something acoustic, different from the original, as all daniel performances must be. the guitar lingers in the instrumental, a constant reminder, but not in his hands as they make their way across the stage, jinyoung's singing leading the way.

they all sing an "aye aye" before the bass of the instrumental kicks in, a little twist, an r&b side, layering of the darker undercurrents of the original song. yeji takes over, then jinyoung joins her again, and it's daniel's turn with his rap, piano the main focus of the instrumental now.

ah, i’m burning i can’t breathe, it’s like i’ll split in half i’m thirsting and with this one glass it’s like i’ll overflow on this dangerous night

he originally laughed at that-- thirsting, and its alternate meaning in english, a true show of his maturity. there wasn't time for laughing though, as he practiced and worked out the arrangement, and after his original half-hearted input to choose loveshot as a song-- after he really sat down and listened to it-- he was glad they did. despite the sexy nature of the song and its choreography, it had a deeper meaning than expected, and daniel hopes their rendition highlights that. his last couple lines are singing, a reminder that yes, he can still do that too, assisted by yeji's harmony, and the build up to the chorus.

jinyoung's it's the love shot, and instead of the familiar chorus, there's another surprise: yeji's dance solo. the boys take the sides of the stage as yeji fills it with her presence and her talent, over the instrumental chorus, not joined by any singing, just the distant, electronic sounding, almost indistinguishable nananas in the backtrack.

jinyoung takes over with the smoothness of his vocals, and yeji follows him up, showing her own vocal prowess she improved over the course of the show. daniel has another rap next.

even if i cover my eyes and ears and force myself to wander, in the end the answer is love i fill my stomach, starved by too much ego an empty glass of compassion left behind now i fill it again, let me hear it all

he didn't relate to the first section of rap so much, but this one, he does, or likes to think he does. it's a story of his week, in a way-- the struggle of the early days, and his teammates' harshness with him, and how he eventually wandered back to sungwoon and found his answer there. keep going. you can't give up. it resounded with everything else the others said, undeniable, and so he pressed on, trying to accept all criticism as something that would make him better instead of something meant to hurt him, and it's brought him here, to this stage, where he gives it his all. he gets to sing another line, too-- the last one, something he's very grateful for. he always loves to show two sides.

it leads into what one would expect to be another chorus, but isn't-- instead, the cutting of the instrumental altogether, just jinyoung center stage, singing that familiar bridge. after it is something else familiar: the slow build of the original instrumental. yeji harmonizes over daniel's final rap as it leads them into the final chorus, and daniel knows what's coming after. it's anticipation now more than it is dread, even on stage, and he's proud of that fact.

my heart burns my beliefs dried feeling like they’ll break apart i wet them with you, filling in the gaps lighting the flame in my heart that felt ready to go out yeah

jinyoung sings one final it's the love shot, powerfully, punctuating the beginning of the end-- just kidding. it won't be that bad, and if it is, daniel will make sure to sell it the whole way through.

they burst into the choreography of the original final chorus too, yeji in the center, thankfully, and daniel doesn't reflect on the times he struggled during the week now. now, gameface: on, and the gameface for this just so happens to be an incredibly sultry look. the mga viewing audience of this season may not know it, but in fact, he plays this game all the time.

jinyoung and yeji cover the adlibs, thankfully not giving daniel one more thing to worry about on top of his dancing. after the beginning part of the chorus, they do a surprise switch to another part of loveshot's choreography: the move with the gun behind their back, incredibly practiced by daniel with yeji's discerning eye, because he couldn't see how badly he was doing it himself. it's cleaner now than it's ever been, which still isn't as clean as it could be by far, but he'll take it. improvement is improvement, and all he can ask for at the end of the day.

the most difficult part of the choreography is over, leaving only the part that's like walking in time, and for this part, daniel takes the center-- hard-fought due to his desire for the final line, and only time will tell if this proves to be a mistake or not. still, they finish, and it's daniel in the center that sings the final:

it's the love shot

before making a gun with his fingers, raising it to his lips, and knocking it back like its a shot.

[rkheejin]

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ episode two interview!           • • • mentioned— @rkyuri , @rkpjy , @jungeunxrk , @rkkyungsoo , @yuzurk , @rksihyeon , @rktaeyang , @rkyeji , @rkkyul , @rkxsnh & @rkjaemin

     unlike the first time, there's a growing sense of familiarity as she's sat down for yet another post-performance interview. heejin is more expectant of what's to come— what questions she's going to be asked, what opinions she might have on the other contestants ( positive or negative ), who she felt brought it this time around and who she felt fell horribly short.

     it’s different now— she isn't as clueless, doesn't need to take any extra time to properly collect her thoughts, not like before. the brunette chalks it up to a thinner crowd this time around, the number of performances she was made to sit through depleted significantly, allowing her the chance to properly give more focus on specific acts ( rather than try and make herself soak in everyone's act as a way of gauging who she'd need to keep tabs on ). being able to watch everyone more intently, heejin was well aware she still had a handful of others to be wary of, that there was still a sizable amount other people who posed possible threats to her own safety within the show's boundaries, even with the cuts that had been made during the first episode.

     so, as she's given quick, last minute touch ups to make sure she'd camera ready, she’s calm and poised. there aren't any more erratic beats to her heart, her palms aren't sweaty, and it's easy to breathe.

     they wanted her thoughts? well, that's what she'd give.

❝ CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING HERE FOR ANOTHER WEEK— HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU FIRST HEARD THE RESULTS FROM LAST WEEK? ❞

     her mood perks up in an instant, eyes bright, and she lets a smile grow on her lips. "as you can probably imagine, i was incredibly happy," she begins, nodding her head gently as she speaks. "not to say that i was expecting to make it through, simply because that sounds way too cocky, but i had high hopes that i wouldn't get cut. aside from myself, i was also glad to see so many other great performers be put through as well— i didn't doubt for a second that my younger cousin, yuri, would pull through. she has an amazing voice, it'd be odd for her to be passed over. jinyoung as well— i enjoyed his performance as well, and he also has a really pleasant voice." for now, she only ticks off a few names from the handful of people she holds any sort of interest for. "jungeun was also bound to make it, so i wasn't worried about her."

❝ BOTH THIS WEEK AND LAST WEEK, YOU ARRIVED AND SAT WITH KIM JUNGEUN. YOU MENTION HER QUIET A BIT, AND SHE YOU— ARE THE TWO OF YOU CLOSE? ❞

     "she's one of my best friends," heejin answers without any hesitation, sitting taller, eyes hard with sincerity. "we went to school together, graduated together, and decided to join the show together. she's one of the few people who's been by my side for a lot of things— it's natural that i'd want to talk fondly of her, and that she'd do the same. i want us to succeed together." despite the conviction she'd used when she first began speaking, while it still persists, her tone becomes softer ( more hopeful, wishful ).

❝ HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE TODAY? DO YOU THINK IT WENT? ❞

     she takes a moment to pause, searching briefly for the right words. "i think, like last week, i did well— i have faith in myself, and in my vocals. however..." she lets herself trails off slightly, lips forming a tight line in contemplation. "...i was a little hesitant when choosing what i would be singing today. of course, i like the song, i wouldn’t have picked it if i didn’t, but it's different from what i normally like to perform. but, i didn't want to stick with one sound or vibe strictly— that gets boring after a while. i decided to take a bit of a chance and show off another side to myself."

     sighing silently, she puts as much sincerity into a tight-lipped smile as she can. "i can only hope i was able to stay fresh with the judges, give them an idea of how much more i have to give, you know?"

❝ WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PERFORMANCES? WERE THERE ANY THAT YOU LIKED? ANY THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE? ❞

     "aside from people i've already mentioned, all of which i liked, there are a few others who i enjoyed watching— kyungsoos rendition of toxic was great. he's got really smooth vocals, and it felt like he was really trying to capture the feeling of the song. i think he did well, so amongst all of the singers, i can see him advancing again. yuzus performance was also one that stood out for me, her song choice was like something i'd like to sing myself— it fit her. similarly to yuzu, sia unnies vocals were lovely, i really liked her song choice," heejin begins, eyes trained towards the ceiling as she made herself recall her personal standouts. "taeyangs dance was really impressive— all that footwork, along with just how precise he looked, i couldn't look away. yeji was powerful and emotional, i could tell she was worked hard to show her best. kyulkyung didn't disappoint, either— i figured she wouldn't, not after last week. honestly, as someone who's not an amazing dancer, most people who are good at dance stand out for me, but the ones i said? they're the ones i remember the most."

     "between the rappers...i'm not huge on rap myself, but there were a few people that i liked— olivia had a nice flow to her set, it was almost melodic. i also liked jaemin, the two of them were nice to listen to."

     taking a moment, she bites her bottom lip in thought before proceeding. "as for acts i wasn't very fond of...i don't think there were any i hated. just some that didn't catch my attention, or that just seemed boring to me. i won't say, but that's mostly because i can't even recall the ones i felt fell short— i was more focused on the standouts." she answers with honesty, a sheepish grin playing at her lips.

     she's given the okay to leave not long after that, and as she makes her way back to her seat with her head high, heejin can only hope what comes next brings her to the next round.

[rkmason]

    ▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟ EP 4 INTERVIEW ▰▰▰▰▰▰

he swears it must get more difficult to judge each week— because he can see the growth, the passion, the changes everyone is going through. it shines in their performances and sometimes he thinks he’s the one who should be starstruck or bowing like daniel did to him earlier. why should any of them be doing it to him? it’s not something he expects or hopes for— all he can truly hope for is being seen for who he is, for his talent, but hey can’t ask too much especially when mnet is involved right? gotta stay on your toes. speaking of which, he hopes the interviewer is on her toes because surprise surprise, he’s holding out his hand, bowing at the waist, to give her a rose— before anyone asks, hell yeah he would’ve still done it for a guy, probably exaggerated more and kneeled down on one knee but he’s keeping his song choice in mind: hey i don’t wanna go too fast. 

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Q .  what did you think of the results last week?

"i’ll say this every week. we see talent going home, that’s always a shame but it was surprising to see jinyoung go.” he wants to say that he suspects it’s for ratings but there’s some things even he won’t say with his shameless nature. give him some credit, he’s growing up a little. “doesn’t he have it all? he’s got that... it’s called that chic city guy look right? tough city guy? it’s one of those... but he looks like he’s walked off a drama and he can sing. i can’t say that much for myself,” minho jokes. sure, he’s taken singing lessons and he’s definitely improved but he’s no main vocalist, not by a long shot. couldn’t even dream of it. 

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Q .  how was it working with your partner?

"seunghun was great. hey, keep this between us but i wasn’t sure i could get as good a partner as i did last week but him and nakyung? you sure you wanna ask me that because i’ll go on for hours? they’re both talented in different fields and i loved working with them. seunghun and i have different music tastes and styles but put us in the studio together? it’s beautiful. ah, we’re pretty flower boys, didn’t you hear? i hope you interview him too.” it’d be cute if she ended up getting flowers from both of them but if it’s someone else... great way to share the love, right? 

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Q .  thoughts on your performance?

"i think we bloomed on stage, don’t you? ah, spring has come and the flowers are beautiful.” way to sound like a wistful old man, minho. way to go, but he can’t help the cheesy metaphors. “i think we went all out in the way we could best, by bringing out the best in each other and letting each other shine while working together. isn’t that the best way to perform as a duo?” 

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Q .  favorite performances? 

"is anyone surprised if i mention sakura here too? i haven’t heard her speak spanish before so i was shocked! but it was a good stage and she had good chemistry with her partner. he’s very talented too. wow, just so much talent on this season. come on, can’t the judges tell us their secret in figuring out who’s best each week? good thing i didn’t become a critic of anything. i bet i can’t make a diss track. what kind of rapper am i?” he laughs, shaking his head. “wait, i could be a positive rap icon like will smith but his career kinda... it’s good in music, right?” 

“nakyung has a way with music and so does jungeun-ssi. i think they worked really well together and it was great to see a different side of the both of them. both ended up doing parts of songs i wouldn’t have imagined for either of them.” nodding, he recalls the performance with a smile. “i could say it over and over but nakyung has so much potential it’s insane but maybe i’m biased,” minho laughs, more than okay with that aspect of himself. 

“i think there’s a few contenders people think do well every week and consistency is a great thing.” there’s definitely a few he has on his mind. “seeing what everyone comes up with when we’re assigned partners is amazing. imagine what you could do when you choose teams. but that’s the fun part of it all, the guesswork and the worrying. i know that’s contradictory but it’s exciting. working with new people... how can i pick a true favorite when i know everyone is giving their all?” 

there’s more he could say about performances he was shocked by in a different way but when he thinks of what he just said, he can’t say he had any least favorites either. how daring another group decides to be isn’t his decision. in the end, it’s up to the judges and hey mnet doesn’t air every second and he recalls a few edited out moments of shows like uprs season 3 with a soft chuckle. 

then there was the performance that was cut short and he thinks it was a shame but... he’s confused about how you wouldn’t notice and he writes it off as loving the performance too much to notice. caught up in the moment. in the end, aren’t they all? 

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Q .  anyone you think should come back?   

“it’s unfair of me to say everyone, right? mga season 5 coming at you until 2020, then i could really make the joke about my old number right? but i think i’ll say jinyoung will come back... if he doesn’t, i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s scouted soon. don’t you think he could’ve been a pretty flower boy with me and seunghun? he suits the image, so do a few other contestants.” he almost asks if that’s next. group battles or by gender even like the finale of season 4 but he stops himself, decides to hold onto it for now. “if we’re saying out of all the contestants so far... i’ve got a few friends i wish i could see on stage again,” minho chuckles with a soft smile. “we’re all at the mercy of the judges though, right?” 

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 / EPISODE 2 / EPISODE 3 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 4: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[rkkyul]

190711 MGA SEASON 5  +  EPISODE THREE   +   CONTESTANT #5050   ⟨  ━━  ❀ °    PART ONE: INTERVIEW   ⟩  

MENTIONED: @hobirk, @rkpwj, @rkxminkyung, @yewonxrk, @rkheejin, @danielxrk, @rkmason, @rknak, @rktaeyang, @rkkenta, @rkjeonghxn​, @rkpjy

kyulkyung finds herself in a private room yet again - relaxing back into her seat as makeup artists touch-up the glossy skin of her face, the woman coughing as she inhales a cloud of setting powder before swatting the hands away without thinking. coughing, the staff members watch her ( probably annoyed that she’s wasting their time ) but moving back in with brushes and sponges. although inhaling an unhealthy amount of powder is not on her list of favorite things about the mgas, she could definitely say she could get used to having her makeup done for her. 

she knows the drill at this point, knows to adjust her posture and make herself not look so exhausted in front of the camera. at this point during the day, the adrenaline from performing has died down and all that’s left is weariness and undoubtedly hunger. 

oh, she couldn’t wait to get a burger after this. 

despite the exhaustion of her day weighing on her shoulders, kyulkyung can’t help but look forward to one of her favorite parts of filming days: the interview.

WELCOME BACK, LET’S GET STARTED?

nodding her head, kyulkyung let her signature smile swim onto her lips - eyes on the blinking light of the camera before they settle on the lens. the interviewer begins to speak and dark orbs snap in their direction, crossing her legs and placing her hands on her knee as she awaited the first question.

Q & A    CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING IT TO EPISODE THREE - WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION TO LAST WEEK’S ELIMINATIONS?

“well, i was definitely excited! but pretty disappointed, and scared, you know - i was pretty much a mess.” the woman laughs, “i was excited to continue and move on, but scared because i know this just gets worse. and well, i was just disappointed to see some contestants go. i mean, JUNG HOSEOK should’ve been safe - he was pretty good, wasn’t he?!”

Q & A    HOW DID IT FEEL WORKING WITH ANOTHER CONTESTANT THIS WEEK? 

“excuse my language, but i was so. freaking. excited.” when it came to working with other dancers, there was nothing the woman loved more. to learn and work with someone who was just as good ( if not better ) than yourself, that was just a treat in its own. not to mention how fun it is to perform in the end. “i love working with other dancers, and PARK WOOJIN and i worked really good together. he’s a cute and talented kid.”

Q & A    HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR AND WOOJIN’S PERFORMANCE WENT? ARE YOU SATISFIED?

“in the end, i think we pulled it off pretty well.” perhaps she was a bit biased, but she couldn’t help herself. “it was stressful preparing at times because you don’t want to be the reason you two lose, you know? and choreographing the routine made the week fun, but it definitely added some stress. but i don’t think we could’ve done any better - i mean, did you see us up there?”

Q & A    THIS WEEK’S DUO CHALLENGE IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT WE’VE SEEN SO FAR THIS SEASON. WERE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO ANYONE’S PERFORMANCE IN PARTICULAR? 

“KIM MINKYUNG’S” the woman replied instantly, nodding her head as if agreeing with her own words. “her and CHOI YEWON were grouped together, and i just thought it would be interesting to see her working with someone else. she’s got such a stage presence on her own so i had a hard time imagining her in a duet.”

Q & A    WE’RE SURE YOU HAD SOME FAVORITE PERFORMANCES TODAY, WERE THERE ANY THAT DIDN’T MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS?

“honestly, i think i can actually say no to this.” this week had to top all performances this season, filled with a day full of new looks, performances, and expectations set. after seeing what everyone is capable of especially in a situation such as this, kyulkyung’s nerves were stimulated once again.”rather than those who didn’t meet expectations, YOON JEONGHAN and PARK JINYOUNG exceeded anything i could’ve expected. like, wow i was pleasantly surprised.”

Q & A    WHAT PAIRING SHOCKED YOU THE MOST?

“hmmm i think i’d have to say JEON HEEJIN and KANG DANIEL. they’re both super talented, but their images are so different in my opinion. heejin is just so small and cute and you want to adopt her and daniel is like... her dad? wait - can you cut that out please?”

Q & A    WHICH DUOS DO YOU THINK WILL ADVANCE TODAY?

“this is really hard to say this time around because i don’t know what the judges are looking for.” she wanted to say everyone, but she knew that was unrealistic. some teams would set foot on the mga stage for the last time - this was a competition and it’s one of the hardest things she’s done. “going off popularity, i think i would say CHOI MINHO and LEE NAKYUNG will advance, probably KANG DANIEL and JEON HEEJIN too. but i really think YOO TAEYANG and TADAKA KENTA did great this week.”

Q & A    AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL BE SAYING GOODBYE?

“ahhh once again, i don’t know.” she bites down on her lip, gnawing on the flesh nervously. “as much as i would love to say no one, i know there will be people eliminated and at this point, it’s really hard to say. so yea, let’s pass on this!”

ALRIGHT, THANK YOU. THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY.

the woman stood and thanked the staff members, bowing and shaking hands as she went. another day, another interview. and now she’s ready for that burger.

[rkkyungsoo]

‹★›

episode three: interview

What did you think of the results last week?

“I was surprised, actually, to see Yena leave. I thought she was a good singer. Hoseok ended up leaving too and like I’ve mentioned before, I always enjoyed watching him dance.” While he agreed with most of the eliminations, there were a few that stood out. He didn’t question the results because, let’s be honest, he didn’t know enough about music to be overly critical of the judges’ choices.

How was it working with your duo?

“I will admit, I am a pretty shy person,” he smiled a little, even though he knew that was partially a lie. Kyungsoo wasn’t actually shy, he just didn’t enjoy social interactions as much as most other people. “So I was nervous about the fact we were going to work in pairs. The fact I knew Yugyeom made things easier, and he was a really good dance instructor. I am very glad to have his support during my first real dance performance.” The one in high school didn’t count for obvious reasons.

How do you think you did?

He paused for a second, trying to find the right words. “This was the most difficult performance for me to date. I haven’t danced much in the past and it was hard, trying to pick it up from the scratch. If my duo partner wasn’t a dance instructor, I am sure I would have had an even harder time. I am glad that I gave it a shot, though because I think it is important to keep challenging yourself. One does not grow by staying comfortable, and that’s how I’ve always viewed life.” He was young enough to experiment and gain new skills. Even though Kyungsoo experienced a lot of frustration, exhaustion and overall discomfort during this week, he thought it was fairly worth it. "Overall, I am proud of our performance. I think we complemented each other and made up for each other's weak spots."

“I am also grateful for my cousin Suwoong. He came over and helped me with my facial expressions. We were trying to be energetic, happy and boyish this week and when practice first started, I had trouble finding the character. What was it that Suwoong said...” He let his voice trail off, looking down at the table as if attempting to remember. When he raised his head again, Kyungsoo adopted an expression that was very much Suwoong-like. “No, Kyungsoo, not like that. You are trying to be boy with love, not boy with unresolved issues!” He even sounded like Suwoong. As much as they disliked each other, the close relationship between their mothers meant they met up nearly every week. Kyungsoo was great at imitating Suwoong’s voice and his insufferable presence.

“I think I pulled off being...happy pretty well after practice. I think...Smiling is a bit easier now.” He flashed the interviewer noona one on cue, the same bright one he showed on the stage. 

Were there any performances you liked?

“Yuri and Hohyeon did well, but that’s no surprise. I’ve already mentioned how much I enjoy Yuri as a singer and Hohyeon as a rapper last week, I think. This duo performance just hits it harder home.” Yeah, they were good, and the song was hype but they both showed exactly what they’ve been showing the entire time. Kyungsoo think they really lucked out because singer plus rapper duos are so easy. Neither had to push themselves out of their comfort zone and risk making a fool out of themselves.

“Yeji and Junhee performed Rewrite the Stars - it was beautiful. Yeji had a lot of confidence when she walked on that stage and I think that helped with her performance. Honest, I think she might win this whole thing.” He nodded seriously. “Most of the MGA winners had been males as far as I can remember, but don’t quote me on this.” His television knowledge was quite limited. “Wouldn’t it be nice to see a beautiful girl win this time?”

“Speaking of girls, I liked Yuqi’s performance with Minhyun. There was a moment during the song where she looked at Minhyun and it was as if they were trying to communicate with their eyes. They had very good...chemistry.” Was he allowed to say that?

“The boys who did Romanticism put on an interesting performance. I thought they interacted well with the audience and really...flirted.” Kyungsoo liked sexier songs, so that one caught his attention. “Jinyoung’s vocals are solid.” And his hip rolls were even better.

“Ryujin and Sakura were both cute. They did a lighter rap performance and were clearly having fun with it. I appreciated the change from regular hard rap songs.“ But who knows if the judges will like the playfulness of it.

Which duo do you think complemented each other the most? 

“ I think Suwoong and Xuxi had great energy together.” Yes, he put the emphasis on the word together. They spent most of the song sitting, but that didn’t mean it was a boring performance. “I’ll admit, when I was watching, I really thought they looked like a couple.” He knew Suwoong was the go hard or go home type of guy but didn’t know that Xuxi could match up to that level of...boldness.

@rkyuri​, @rkhyeon​, @rkyeji​, @rkyuqi​, @rkminhyun​, @rkpjy​, @ryujinrk, @rksakura, @rksuwoong​ & @rkxuxi​

[rkyeji]

yeji @ hwangyj

hello everyone, coming to you after everything.

thank you for all the love and support through out these past months, even the negative comments. i truly couldn’t have done it without the amazing people that i have teamed up with.

first -- i have some people i want to mention.

@jaebvmrk oppa, you were the catalyst that helped jump start the confidence i have today when it comes to singing, i still have a long way to go but hopefully i made you proud! @rkpjy oppa, i know our week was turbulent but i really did enjoy working with you. even though i am younger than you, you treated me as an equal despite everything. i appreciate you and i hope that you will succeed in the future. @ryujinrk, ryujinnie. i don’t know when you’ll see this but i thought of you when i performed, i wanted to carry your desire to succeed. unnie loves you and is here for you anytime. @rktaeyang​, hey oppa. i did this thing. i got 1st place, i don’t know what else to say, i hope that things look bright for your future, you deserve this as much as i do. all.

thank you to the coaches these past two weeks as well, @jinsoulrk unnie, your advice was really helpful. @rkdoyexn & @rksxna -- support k.arma!

i will continue to do my best. forever  #5011 !

- hwang yeji, out ✌️

[rkseung]

 🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 10 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !           —   X     yes i’m still alive, mourning my mgas loses

 🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 10 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !           —   X     brb still crying over all the WASTED TALENT THIS SEASON 

 🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 9 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !          —   X     you let yuqi and yoona go but then eliminated jinyoung the next episode??                               like?  

🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 9 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !         —   X     they really did that to em.

🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 9 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !         —   X     bye i’ll be busy supporting jinyoung’s career under none of those tasteless                                labels. 

🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 9 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !         —   X     and i’m signing yoona to my company. debut already in the works.

 🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 5 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !          —   X     on a good note we’ll be seeing yeji in the semi finals. like actually SEEING

 🐤  ›   SAD & BOUJEE.  ›  TWT 5 MINS AGO  ›   @ITSJANGSY !          —   X     catch me watching episode 6 live bitches ✌️

[rkkyg]

kyg98: what would i do without a superhero hyung? walk around with out any pants on probably... 🚶‍♀️👖thanks for helping juniorpark 💬 comment  ❤ like POSTED 54 MINUTES AGO

[hyojinrk-archived]

#5020 — kim hyojin & #5042 — sohn youngjae ( @ericxrk​ ) & #5048 — yoo taeyang ( @rktaeyang​ )

MGA 5 EPISODE 5: exo-cbx′s blooming day ( 0:02 - 0:50; 1:07 - 3:17 ) — master key ver.

other mentions: @rksihyeon​, @danielxrk​, @rkseunghun​, @rksakura​, @rkxsungwoon and a few more!

the moment he hears his name to get called up on stage, hyojin’s face betrays him. looking around with his eyes wide and lips parted into the smallest of o’s, his brows raise to form a baffled look, and he ends up trailing behind daniel like a lost puppy, his hands folded together and placed carefully at his front. he’s humbled by the proposition that the judges had called their performances one of the best, and it’s clear by the flustered, almost shy way he carries himself, but he still stands upright on stage, daniel on one side and seunghun on the other. 

he finds himself swallowing down a nervous comment when he looks to his partner, offering him a little congratulatory smile and a hand to low-five, and as the judges continue with their rationale, his arm creeps up to wrap around seunghun’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately, both to show his support and to bring support to him, because he’s still in disbelief. it’s not that he had thought that he and daniel had done poorly, per say; he’s just surprised that the good gut feeling he had gotten at first turned out to be true. there’s a rushing in him that brings a nostalgic memory of the first episode, in which he had found himself highlighted and complimented by the judges during a cut, and which forever remained iconic amongst the people who knew him personally and who attended his university.

( it’s so, so satisfying, and yet, he’s starting to become aware of the growing hunger within him that was beaten back by this victory, roaring with pleasure and yet looking for more. ) 

but even though the feeling is familiar, hyojin’s come a long way from that time, no longer hesitant and overwhelmed with a guilty feeling, as if he had betrayed a core value of his just thinking of being a part of the program. with a semblance of a blessing from his mother and the support of his peers, he starts to open up the dream that he had stowed away all those years ago, a little star bottled up inside his heart, no longer growing faintly but starting to burst at the seams.

( he musn’t let this consume him. the fact that his fate still remains shaky no matter how well he did previously weighs in on his conscience constantly. perhaps this is what the others called desperation. )

he finally gets the chance to breathe in sharply once they announce the best duo, bowing slightly at the judges for their decision and clapping, looking at sia and ryujin with a soft smile, glancing back at daniel, and then seunghun. he was planning to meet up with the younger later that night, anyways, having planned to finally get the spicy pork that had been promised a few weeks back. even with the intense elements of the competition, hyojin’s nothing but pleased that seunghun and his partner had also been acknowledged. at the very least, he wants his friend to do well, because after all this time knowing him, hyojin knows he deserves the spotlight.

when they sit back in their seats, hyojin turns, once again, to look at seunghun, this time grabbing his hand and patting it, congratulating the younger and telling him that he worked hard. the excitement only builds, though, and instead of going into eliminations, another anticipated segment begins, and jackson and jinyoung step onto the stage, causing hyojin to sit up and clap for them in surprise. he had thought that they were a powerful duo, and was pleasantly surprised to see that the judges seemed to agree, too. 

the entire time, though, he can’t help but look to his side, watching daniel’s expression carefully and feeling the concern well up at his troubled expression. as much as they did well and gained acknowledgement, the survival of one of his closest friends was on the line, especially with the mistake that they had made during their performance. biting his lip, he watches intently as the ones that got eliminated were called off, and feels his heart sink at some of them -- hohyeon and hyejoo, so young but so talented; minkyung and junhee, likewise. then, there was the one pair that he was dreading: sungwoon and eunji. it hurts hyojin’s heart too to see someone that he was familiar with as well get eliminated -- he had spent a lot of time with the older putting together displays for their bakery and playing around during breaks, and considering that both him and daniel knew about the talent that sungwoon held, it was devastating.

he can’t bring himself to look any longer as the announcement goes on, wanting to reach out a hand to grab daniel’s, and yet feeling too distant and out of place to do something so intimate. instead, he settles on patting the taller male’s shoulder, pools of disappointment swimming in his eyes. the trios are announced not too long after, the shock still having yet to reside, but he can’t help but focus more on daniel, wondering if he was really okay.

regardless, when he hears his name called, along with taeyang’s and eric’s, he can feel the unease form. two dancers. they could sing as well, yes, but he knew for sure that they were more geared towards the former than the latter, spelling a bad time for him especially. the fact that the weakest link was to be eliminated from half of the teams only serves to worsen the concern, because despite his talent in singing, he had little to no experience with dancing -- he couldn’t even tell if he was bad at it or not, because the last time ( and really the first time ) he’s ever danced was for a school festival a few months ago, but that was purely for fun.

hyojin tries to loosen up once he heads out with seunghun to a nearby restaurant for a late dinner and to fulfill a promise, but his phone feels heavier in his hands with the contacts of his new partners entered into it.

❀ PREPARATIONS ;

despite putting the name of the entertainment company on his application for the program ( which seemed to be years ago even though it was really just a few months -- look at how time flies ), he’s still not completely prepared to witness the glory of kt’s practice studios until he enters the building.

it’s so pristine and modern that he feels out of place, like he should go back home and change his clothes into better, more expensive ones just to look like he belonged there. it’s not a bad feeling, exactly; he feels like he’s participating in a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity just by being able to enter the building without being tackled by security. it lifts his heart up a little bit just thinking about it, which does well in keeping his confidence afloat until he actually enters the studio he’s been assigned to.

there are a lot of things to absorb at once -- first, that he doesn’t seem to be alone, because there are already some semi-familiar faces that are there, too, and are most certainly not on his team. he thinks he can recognize jackson for a moment, but before he’s caught staring, he quickly makes his way over to his team, the sleeves of the deep green colored t-shirt he’s wearing floating in the cool air of the studio. plopping himself down on the floor, he greets them respectfully -- eric, who was younger by quite a bit, and then taeyang, who was a little older. it’s obvious that he’s being rather cautious about it, because he can see the setup of cameras all across the room, some at the back of the studios and some to the side, others fixed and unmanned. 

fortunately, they’re rather productive and figure things out quickly, although they hit the most obvious obstacles the hardest.

“hi, i’m kim hyojin.” bowing as best as he could in his seated position on the wooden floor, hyojin adjusts his bangs sheepishly, “i’m... not the best dancer, but i will work my hardest on whatever we end up choosing.” he hopes that his earnestness can shine through regardless of his words, because he can slowly see the bright light in eric’s eyes dying the longer his words hang in the air.

at that moment, he couldn’t help but wish more that he had learned how to dance at some point. he should be more concerned with his survival, but the urge to not drag them down is spilling over in his mind, because he’d rather them perform well enough that none of them end up having to go home during the next filming. it’s hard to reconcile the fact that if he didn’t want to send any of them home, he might have to go in their place, but sometimes the simplest remedy to this kind of worry was just to think simply. if he pours his all into it, even though he’s never done this kind of thing before, the problem might solve itself.

that chance becomes slimmer and slimmer as they go through the songs, however. when eric asks if he can do this dance or that dance, or if he thinks executing it would be possible, his face gives it away too easily. it’s obvious he hasn’t given up, but it’s more like he’s baffled. the way his brows rise and his eyes flicker with a brief panic at some of the especially hard choreographies is almost comical, and he rubs the back of his neck before bowing his head in apology at the other two, helplessly asking “what should we do?” as he starts to realize that most of these songs were completely out of his level.

dancing’s not the most prominent concern, though -- it’s singing while dancing, because hyojin’s basically never done the latter -- how could he have done both before? breathing control and technique is especially difficult even while standing, so the fact that they might have to do something like this onstage and compete with nine other talented trios makes him uneasy. 

when they finally decide on the song -- an exo-cbx song -- it’s because the compromise they had decided on had taken on a different form. the original dance wasn’t easy at all; it was towards the more difficult end of the spectrum, actually, but with taeyang’s expertise in the skill and his job as a dance teacher, modifications became more and more realistic of an option. it was simple: just rework the choreo, make it easier, and make it pop.

the last part came in sort of a few ways -- they tried throwing around ideas a bit before they decided to use chairs as part of the choreography. similar to that ats song that was primarily chair based, it would make both practicing and performing a lot easier ( minus the part where they have to lug the chairs in and then lug them back ). 

that also meant that taeyang would have less of a burden in terms of making moves. hyojin felt awful for putting so much pressure on the older; even though taeyang was in charge of making the dance, he also took responsibility for teaching and guiding hyojin, teaching him how to loosen up his body and have fun with the chorus. it’s because of that that hyojin has absolutely no qualms with inserting a dance break for them, as long as he wasn’t doing it as well. 

the dance break in blooming day was by far one of the most complex and difficult k-pop choreographies that he’s seen in his time on youtube, and he’s not only sure that he’d bomb it, but also that it’d be practically impossible for any of them to sing well while dancing like that at the same time. it was unrealistic either way, meaning that even if he wasn’t the one singing, the person who did in his place would have also done the same thing and not danced full out.

practices are long and hard, and he’d be lying if it didn’t make him feel completely drained by the time it was done. he’s never sweated this much unless he’s been baking in the sun during a crowded lecture, and even though his stamina isn’t too bad, his legs and arms ache fiercely for the first few days. nevertheless, he still powers through, staying late into the night and always leaving the studio last, the exhaustion on his face gradually becoming more prominent as time passes. he tries his best to watch carefully and pick up things, whether it’s by studying how taeyang or eric move intently, or how the other dancers sharing the studio carry themselves. it’s a little flustering at first to try and mimic that specific kind of charisma, and he breaks out into an embarrassed smile when he tries to follow a body roll that a member of another team did effortlessly. maybe he’ll try to save that for another time. 

despite this, the chemistry between them is surprisingly good; when two of them are left in the studio while the other is on break, there are very few awkward silences or uneasy glances. perhaps it’s because of the friendliness and general welcome nature of his partners -- taeyang was ever so patient and didn’t complain in the slightest, while eric kept things bright with his energy and enthusiasm. at one point, when taeyang leaves to get a drink of water, eric reaches out to hyojin and tries to give him some tips on the point dance of the chorus.

“you go into the chorus with a bang! and then, like, swoosh, and and you get the feeling of pow!” he says, doing the movements of the song powerfully, and it leaves hyojin completely and utterly confused. it’s certainly different from the more refined and accurate descriptions taeyang gives him, clearly understanding the type of learner hyojin was rather quickly and adapting his style, but he still tries to follow along, trying to put in the same amount of power but coming up slightly short. he’s still getting used to the feeling of dancing, getting his body to loosen up more and more by recording himself constantly and looking it over, making adjustments one at a time to increase the accuracy of his corrections.

with a laugh, he resists the urge to ruffle the younger boy’s hair, shaking his head sheepishly and fixing his hair out of his eyes, responding, “eric... i really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

practice goes on smoothly, and he stays late again, plopping down in front of one of the fixed cameras as usual during his last break before doing a final runthrough. he feels the tiredness sinking into his bones, no longer infiltrating every inch of his body and making it scream for help, but instead settling like an elder who had seen enough of life and finally accepted it ( weird simile, but it’s the best he can think of ). he’s picked up a habit of talking to any cameras mindlessly when everyone else was gone or practicing, treating it at a log of sorts. as much as he tries not to let it bother him, he knows eric would have rather had pretty much anyone else on his team as long as they were a better dancer, and that taeyang was too busy perfecting his own performance to sit down and talk. 

it’s no matter, though -- hyojin understands fully both of their viewpoints, and instead settles on trying not to stand out in a bad way, hopefully matching up to their skills. sometimes, he doesn’t even say anything in the silence, though, quietly humming or singing to himself pop songs he’s been listening to on the radio lately, fingers itching to pluck at the strings of an invisible guitar or fly across the keys of a piano. instead, he spends the times he’s not dancing practicing his vocal parts and figuring out the distribution of parts, even singing the high note loud and clear in the studio, before ducking down his head when he attracts the attention of the others sharing the area.

“i’ve really decided to take a risk this time, hm?” mumbling it to himself out loud, he leans back to rest his head against the smudged mirror, tilting his head up and closing his eyes. “i’ve never danced before... and this is also the first time i won’t be using an instrument. keyboard-ssi, i miss you.” humming the last line with a nonsensical melody, he lightly lifts his head and bops it against the smooth surface, laughing at himself.

turning to look at the camera to the right of him, he offers one of his usual subdued smiles, sweet but clearly worn out, and pulls himself over so that he’s sitting in front of it. “hello, camera-ssi. did you miss me?” pushing back a yawn, hyojin absentmindedly reaches for his phone and held it up to the camera lens, turning it on so that the clock showed, along with a wallpaper of him with his mom a few months ago when she had visited him. “right now, it’s around two a.m. hope you’re sleeping well -- i’ll work hard and quietly so that i don’t wake you up, okay? fighting!”

with an affectionate pat on the top of the camera, hyojin gets up and ends his break. he’s tired enough to just sleep here and be done with it, but he has work tomorrow, which means that once he finally did this run through, filmed it, and headed out, he had to make good use of what little time he had left. 

on the final night before the performance, he thinks over all of the choreography over and over again until he eventually drifts off, body sinking deeply into the mattress and absorbing the comfort readily.

❀ IN THE STUDIO ;

they walk into the studio a trio -- all dressed in matching, slightly variant outfits, all styled nicely and fashionably. hyojin himself is wearing another dress shirt, this time of polyester and thus of a different texture than the one he had worn for the twit performance, the fabric a light creme. he’s so nervous it burns in his heart, because he’s about to do something that he had thought impossible just a couple of days ago, worked himself to the bone just so that he wouldn’t lag behind the others. it’s both a matter of self preservation and just overall decency, because with the rest of them working hard, he has to work thrice as hard in order to ensure that he matches up. he can’t let his singing or his previous successes make a protective wall for him, because as proud of them he is, they’re so transparent anything could rip through them in a moment’s notice.

hence, as he takes his seat, leaning over to give a quick wave to seunghun, who was sitting near him again ( he’s pretty sure this must be done on purpose by mnet or something, but he's not complaining at all ), and craning his neck to also give a friendly wave to sakura, hyojin sits back against his seat, careful not to slouch.

breathing out a huff of air, he watches as the contestants all go up, grooving and cheering for all the stages. he’s especially impressed by the performance of gogobebe by sakura, yukhei, and yuri, the all of them fitting the stage well with its smooth and sensual instrumental. then, sia, seunghun, and hyunggu come up with breathe, ruling the stage with their lovely vocals and making him clutch his chest at the clean execution of the chorus, the beginning rift sounding especially nice. it impresses him to see his friend dance, too, and he’s overall excited once they come back down despite being aware that this now meant that it was his turn. 

❀ ON THE STAGE ; 

they get up onto the stage, hyojin’s head ducked down humbly and following the other two dancers, lifting a chair easily behind him. he’s most certainly gained some muscle mass from this, if not anything else. after they set down the chairs in the right format, they get into a line facing the judgjes.

“unlocking your hearts, we are the master key!” in true hyojin fashion, they say the cheesy intro, proceeding to do the jeojang move coined by park jihoon. after introducing themselves, they take their seats, hyojin sitting with his back against taeyang’s and eric standing to the side, the middle seat empty for now.

( bold = hyojin’s parts )

hey there, don’t move 내 눈에 너를 담아내는 중이야     i’m in the middle of placing you in my eyes

the music kicks in almost immediately, the synth fading in for a second when hyojin starts to sing into the hand microphone, turning his head to look straight at the judges, his voice smoothly flowing along the melody, emphasizing the last word with a sweet expression, albeit with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

at the second line, his hand glides up, two fingers extending to point at his eyes, and then turn them towards the ceos at the front. with that, he turns back to face his initial direction, no longer turning his head, letting taeyang sing the next few lines.

with that, eric slides in during his part, making his way across the stage to the leftwards half, singing the song with an increased rhythm.

바라보기에는 모자라    just looking at you is not enough 손이 닿아버린 그 순간    the moment my hands touch you 니가 내 맘속에 피어나    you bloom inside my heart

following his movements, hyojin also gets up from his seat, following the melody with his own silky vocal color, making sure to keep his movements on beat and to have fun with it. it’s a little different every time he does it -- by not putting on too much stress on memorizing, it looks more natural and better overall, and he avoids looking too stiff consequently.

at the last line, eric and taeyang follow the original choreography, making a picture sign with their fingers.

so baby, can i be your boyfriend, can i? 니가 알지 못한 세상 알려 주고 싶어     i want to show you a world you’ve never seen so baby, can i be your boyfriend, can i? 니가 원한다면 그걸 전부 주고 싶어    if you want, i want to give you everything

leading into the first chorus by starting the beginning line, hyojin’s joined by taeyang as they start to dance in formation, no longer sitting in the chairs. putting into form the movements he’s been drilling for the past week, he feels surprisingly light on his feet as he performs, keeping a gentle, lovely smile on his lips as he looks confidently at the judges, tilting his head briefly as he sits in the center seat towards the end of the verse.

넌 나를 풀어내는 master key     but you’re the master key who’ll unlock me 황홀한 니 색깔이 내 하��를 바꾸지 yeah     your joyful colors change my days, yeah

this time, eric and taeyang perform a duo line, and hyojin follows the simple movements that they do while singing, mimicking the jeojang move with his free hand as he does his part on the ‘master key’ phrase, winking right after.

with that, the pre-chorus picks up again, and they slowly start to stand up again one by one, hyojin last to join them as they enter the chorus. 

so baby, can i be your boyfriend, can i? ( all i need is love babe ) 니가 원한다면 그걸 전부 주고 싶어   if you want, i want to give you everything

taeyang starts off again, this time cued in by eric, and they do the point dance, hyojin spinning around to his center spot during his half of the chorus, pumping up the charisma as he sings the key lines, pressing a hand to his heart before holding it out in front of him, as if asking them to take his hand.

oh baby oh baby ( yeah yeah ) 너의 향기가 내��� 흠뻑 배일 수 있게 (배일 수 있게 baby)     so your scent can wash all over me oh baby oh baby ( yeah yeah ) 이제 대답해 줘 oh     answer me now

the second part of the chorus starts now, different from the first iteration of the chorus, and they dance similarly to the original choreography, hyojin shimmying his shoulders and leaning to one side before clapping. this part was especially difficult for him at first, but after looking at himself carefully in the mirror many times, he’s found the perfect combination of tightening and loosening his body. 

ey oh 장난스런 너의 반응에     ey oh your playful response say oh 머린 어질하고 아득해     say oh makes me feel so dizzy k.o. ( got it ) girl you knock me out you knock me out 날 oh baby     you knock me out, me, oh baby

with that, they segue into the bridge and dance break, hyojin now in the center once again. his gaze remains focused, however, expression still pristine as eric and taeyang execute the dance to either side of him. his singing grows more powerful, taking it as his solo part, and he mirrors some of their movements loosely while following the formation so that he doesn’t stick out strangely. the small smile he wears forms into a slight smirk to accentuate the slight shift in tone of this part of the song, and he sings the colorful rifts with his own style. 

at the last line, he hits a slight high note, before gliding back to the side, his part now over.

닿을 듯한 너의 두 손이 ( 모든 게 )     your hands that are about to touch ( all of you ) 너무 아름다워 넌 나를 숨 막히게 해 ( can i )    so beautiful, so breathtaking ( can i ) 

eric continues, singing now, then taeyang, and hyojin gears himself up with the energy saved from not doing the dance break to do the ad-libs, which, in his opinion, was the highlight. his voice raises at the first one, hitting the notes, and then for the high note, he pauses at the side to hold it, the sound reaching every part of the studio and the note both strong and pleasant sounding. during this, he gives an intense look at the ceos, trying to draw them in with his aura.

can i be your boyfriend, can i? 너의 하루 끝과 시작 내가 되어 줄게     i’ll be the start and end to your day so baby, can i be your boyfriend, can i? ( can i be your boyfriend eh) 니가 가장 아름답게 널 피울 수 있게 (널 피울 수 있게)     so you can bloom most beautifully

at the last chorus, he relocates his spot in the choregraphy, following along to it, then pausing in place to do a charismatic shrug of his shoulders, along with a crinkle of his eyes.

oh baby oh baby 이제 대답해 줘 oh hey     answer me now

at that they start to finish up the song, still going hard on the moves until hyojin finishes his, shouting the ‘hey’ with a lift of his arm, and they do their ending pose.

finally, the stage that they had been working so hard for came to an end, and as they leave, hyojin bows multiple times to thank the judges and the audience for the applause. biting his lip, he glances at his partners a little curiously with his chair tucked over his arm, before seeing eric run back to grab the last one.

with that, his shoulders finally lososen, and he lets out a laugh, shaking his head fondly.

regardless of the results, he’s sure that they’ve done the best that they could with what they were given.

[rkiny]

@rkpjy:

( YOU HAVE A NEW VOICEMAIL )

hey, nayeon… it’s jinyoung. um… park jinyoung. before you delete this just… please hear me out. i just… i wanted to apologize. for hurting you, for being stupid, for trusting the wrong people. and especially for not believing you. you deserved better than that, i should have trusted you first. i know it’s weird that i’m calling you but… i can’t help it, even after all this time i still think of you on this day. you know why. i’m tired of hating you. i guess i always knew i had no good reason to, i… knew i made a mistake. but it was easier to hold a grudge and convince myself i wasn’t the one who messed up. i have a this habit of holding on to things, whether good or bad. so i’m finally letting you go. or, well… letting the past go. you don’t have to forgive me. but i hope you found happiness. and i truly, sincerely wish you the best. i don’t regret loving you, but i do regret how things ended. so i’m sorry. oh and… happy birthday.

     it’s a message she doesn’t expect, one she causes her breath to catch the moment she hears his first words— even after all this time, after the years they’ve had apart from one another to grow and change, jinyoungs voice is one nayeon knows she’ll never be able to truly forget ( no matter how much she sometimes wished she could, wanting nothing more than to finally fully put the lingering bitterness she feels towards their past to rest ), and it takes everything to listen. she does, however— she listens because they’re no longer gullible teenagers with glass hearts, because they’re grown adults who can’t keep feelings from the past when they needed to worry about the present, and because, like him, she’s just tired.

     his words sting, but in a way, she thinks she’s always needed them. he was ready to let go, to admit his faults and offer up a proper apology, something she’d wanted needed in order to finally live without heavy clouds overtaking her mind anytime she thought back to her high school days. he was ready, and despite her conflicted thoughts on how to respond, so was she.

     ❪ ⤑ ✉ 2 new messages to┆park jinyoung ❫           — i got your voicemail.           — happy birthday, jinyoung.

[rkpjy]

rkjyp -> rkpjy

i’ll send a message to the main and then remind people if ever needed, i know it takes some adaptation for everyone! honestly i thought it was funny but whenever i see jyp i’m like ://// SO BETTER CHANGE IT

[danielxrk]

✞* dulled feelings ╯

                                                                                              ⊰ ◝ @rkpjy @rkyeji ⊱  

daniel was already exhausted thursday, right after performances-- after sungwoon and eunji’s performance, more specifically. that feeling, and the dread, and the panic, carried well into all of the interviews, and shortly after his own came results, and...a place in the top three. his pride and excitement was dulled by worry, and it probably showed on his face, even as he smiled, even as he pretended his heart was in it, and even as he high fived hyojin for a job well done. 

the feeling doesn’t change on friday, when he’s obligated to make his way to nova and the practice room his team (and kenta’s) will be practicing in. he doesn’t know if he’s really obligated, actually; he had half a mind to tell the judges he was going home right after they finished speaking, that unhappy to do the show without sungwoon-- something he’s never had to experience on any season of the mgas. he held off because he didn’t know what would happen to his team, and he knew yeji and jinyoung. he didn’t want to inconvenience them, and especially knowing only one member from each team could be eliminated. he just needed to make sure that was him if they got there. he didn’t even need to try.

he arrived at the practice room last, yeji and jinyoung awaiting him, an now they all sit around an ipad, playing different possible songs, throwing out various suggestions. or at least...yeji and jinyoung do. daniel mostly just sits, trying to focus on what plays as they do so, but ultimately falling short, staring through everything, unmistakably distant, heavy with the weight of not truly wanting to be here. he already doubted his own belonging here, well before the questioning of his motives-- way before the loss of his friends and the reasons why he came here in the first place. he just wants to go home. so he stays silent.