#jaebvmrk

[rkyeji]

yeji @ hwangyj

hello everyone, coming to you after everything.

thank you for all the love and support through out these past months, even the negative comments. i truly couldn’t have done it without the amazing people that i have teamed up with.

first -- i have some people i want to mention.

@jaebvmrk oppa, you were the catalyst that helped jump start the confidence i have today when it comes to singing, i still have a long way to go but hopefully i made you proud! @rkpjy oppa, i know our week was turbulent but i really did enjoy working with you. even though i am younger than you, you treated me as an equal despite everything. i appreciate you and i hope that you will succeed in the future. @ryujinrk, ryujinnie. i don’t know when you’ll see this but i thought of you when i performed, i wanted to carry your desire to succeed. unnie loves you and is here for you anytime. @rktaeyang​, hey oppa. i did this thing. i got 1st place, i don’t know what else to say, i hope that things look bright for your future, you deserve this as much as i do. all.

thank you to the coaches these past two weeks as well, @jinsoulrk unnie, your advice was really helpful. @rkdoyexn & @rksxna -- support k.arma!

i will continue to do my best. forever  #5011 !

- hwang yeji, out ✌️

[jaebvmrk]

notice!

junheerk > jaebvmrk 

nothing has changed except his birthday! but with this being done please lmk by commenting if you’d like to plot! i’ll be pretty slow (i’m still on hiatus haha) but i can be found on twitter @ siexnna for plotting related purposes, and tumblr ims!

i’m still kinda tidying things up with the change so bear with me for slowness!

[rkyeji]

  #5011 hwang yeji w/ #5002 - choi minho, #5018 - kang hyunggu, #5028 - lee chaeryeong                     ft. coatches: kim doyeon, mintozaki sana and jung jinsoul                       playing with fire x pied piper // hair                       no air // hair mentioned: @rkmason, @rkkhg, @rkchaeryeong, @ryujinrk, @rkchwe, @jaebvmrk, @rkjeongin, @rkpjy

again somehow yeji had made it to the finale, she wasn’t entierly sure how she had made it this far. what had she done differently? looking at everyone she feels at a loss-- an entire week had gone by since the eliminations and she still remembered it, the feeling of watching hansol and ryujin get eliminated. feeling helpless, she had gone out to eat with everyone but she wasn't able to stay long- she needed to see hansol and so she had gone to him but he was distraught and ryujin didn't answer her phone, nor did she respond to knocks on her door.

on friday her mood wasn't in it-- even though she was there, yeji mainly just felt like a plastic bag and in the end, she had been there. voted for songs but she hated feeling like this. so when she got home that night, she grabbed her pillow and screamed into it, it was the finals and she knew none o the people that had gotten eliminated would be happy seeing her like this.

"i need to do this," she nodded to herself, there were so many that she wanted to do well for. jaebum, jinyoung, taeyang, hansol and ryujin-- she needed to at least make them proud.

the next morning she gathered herself, collected her feelings from the floor and arrived at the practice room bright and early. stretching out as they had a lot to prepare.

for this week they were doing two performances-- one for trc and another for nova. they went further this week for trc they did a mashup and it wasn't something yeji was used to, minho presented his project and yeji nodded. hearing the concept had her smiling-- it was something different and for this performance, they all worked on the choreo together. it was now or never, she had made it to the finals and she had started everything just wanting to participate.

their second song for nova was one yeji was excited about, for the last weeks she had sung, this week she could also show off her dancing a little. that was one of the things that had let her get this far.

on sunday, yeji felt rather happy-- when it was time for their lunch she had told her mother that she wanted korea bbq for everyone in her team and her mother had told her she'd deliver it. when it was time, she had wanted to surprise everyone and so she stormed out of the practice room, without really saying anything to them. when she came back the smell of the korean bbq, samgyeopsal, kalbi-- kimchi and other side dishes. it was warm, her mother had driven it over from her family's restaurant.

"is anyone hungry?"

yeji smiled and put the food on the floor, they needed all the strength and yeji hoped this would give them some energy. as the week progressed she felt her nerves bubble up inside her, the excitement of being in the finals. yeji had wanted to experience this with ryujin and hansol too but instead.

they discussed the different themes and concepts they wanted to go for, yeji nodded along eagerly. originally she had been nervous about doing two big performances during the week but now-- now she felt secure and confident. seeing the performances take shape, the choreos work well together. it gave her confidence.

--- day of performance ---

now, yeji watched the performances-- the two that was before theirs and the moment changbin's performance started yeji watched them from the sidelines as they were getting ready for their own. concept, it was a similar concept even though theirs wasn't as in your face  as changbin's. i her heart she thought their performance was better but that was because it was her team and yeji looked to the other three, nodding to herself.

"we can do this," she said and watched the rest of the performance.

trc x playing with fire/pied piper

"it's your turn next," the staff told them and they walked to stage. their stage already set up as it was supposed to be.

hyunggu is the one that introduces them, their team name-- sirius, it was a reach but they were reaching for the stars so it felt fitting.

the stage was completely dark, yeji and chaeryeong sat on one side and yeji looked across at hyunggu and minho sitting in their seats.

the performance started and yeji knew she needed to start of the performance well, she had dropped the pony for this performance but this was how things were.

as yeji starts singing, minho is behind her and they dance together and she thought of hansol when the lyrics rolled of her tongue. her vocals clear and powerful-- just like she had practiced only now she looked at minho with an intrigued and interested gaze. that was her character, an angel-- interested in a demon, their love was like playing with fire. she related to it because her own mother had told yeji, to be careful of men-- they only want one thing. that was the mindset she was performing in, despite that she couldn't help but be attracted to the danger that presented itself.

the song and performance continue, on stage they act-- the boys give them roses but yeji and chaeryeong know better. that is the guise that they want the audience to believe. angels that know this wont lead anywhere. however, as the song progresses the angels will falter and they are being lured in by the demons-- their wings tainted and dirtied.

the end of the song approaches and now, the flower crowns they started with are gone and the angels have been successfully tainted, things will never be the same.

this whole setting reminded yeji of the week she had gotten mvp, her and hansol were celebrating and she knew. their relationship would never be the same. just like the angels could never go back to how things were.

they had backup dancers for their entire choreo, something that was new to yeji but it was an interesting experience. when their performance was over they hurried off the stage, they needed to get ready for their second performance.

nova x no air

looking at her reflection yeji smiled a little at the school uniform, she hadn't worn one in a long time. not since she left high school and now-- she was doing this performance.

it's time for their performance again, everyone sit at their designated desks, the backup dancers are in their spots. when their performance starts, the stage is dark and only the screen lights up-- "our love is in the stars" -- again a play on their team name but for her it had a special meaning. a symbol maybe of her feelings for hansol-- the music starts, their intro and so does the screen everything starts.

they all sit by their desks, blacklight is on them so their white shirts and shoes shine in an extra-light while they dance.together with the backup dancers they create a dynamic and powerful stage. everyone gets a moment to be center, yeji pretends to load a gun while the stage continues until chaeryeong runs across the desks. the dance number continues and yeji moves powerfully-- her pony moving accordingly and never hitting her in the face.

dancing was truly where yeji felt the most alive, she executed her moves with precision and grace until the dance intro was done. the desks they had used previously got pushed over and their team name was spelled out in capital letters.

they got into their position, yeji sat crouched and hyunggu started singing-- she popped up for her part, only 1 line but that was fine. it was impactful regardless.

their performance continued and yeji got to show her growth properly, singing and dancing at the same time. in the start of the mgas, yeji had never really thought she would be at this point but the last couple of weeks. yeji felt like she had focused so much on singing and improving as a singer. as long as that got noticed she would be happy. the personal grown she had done was satisfying to her-- but a part of her wanted to do well.

Oh, I just wanna love you baby

the rap follows after her line, she dances to her hearts content-- she even sings the adlibs and her voice is stable throughout the performance.

when it is over she stands, her fingers forming a circle over her eye and she stares down into the camera.

like that. i was over.

yeji bowed at the crowd and smiled, mouthing tank you to everyone. then in the middle of the crowd she spots a familiar picture and yeji is grateful she didn't spot it during the performances. jeongin. she smiled happily, thankful for her cousin's support then she hurries off the stage, for the last time on this stage.

it was bitter swee.