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ilikekidsshows · 3 years ago

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Hi! I loved the Adrinette analysis you made...do you think you could make a similar one for Ladybug and Chat Noir over seasons 1 to 3?

I knew I was leaving myself open for this ask, and I kinda dreaded it, because 80% of Ladynoir screen time is dedicated to defeating an Akuma, meaning the characters have something else to focus on rather than progressing their relationship, and most the relationship stuff is just Marinette being really stubborn and refusing to properly look at her partner. In other words, there's significantly more screen time, but also proportionally less stuff going on in Ladynoir than in Adrinette because the characters are superheroes on the job and one party is actively resisting any development happening. It's also a very different kind of arc and relationship to Adrinette where the goal is just the two of them getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Ladynoir has that as well as all the trust issues and superhero team dynamics. Basically, this post is definitive proof that Miraculous has had plot development before season four, and it has had a lot of it. I got almost dizzy with it while compiling this.

Once again, I’m trying to go in a somewhat chronological order to properly track the relationship.

In 'Origins', we only get one-sided Ladynoir stuff. Marinette is new on the job and completely focused on solving the Akuma problem and nothing else. Meanwhile, Adrien actually takes note of his partner. He sees her flounder but ultimately put together a clever plan. He sees her lose faith but ultimately pick herself up and deliver a really badass speech at Hawk Moth. It's really no wonder he fell in love. The number one thing he learned about Ladybug is that she can fail and the second thing was that she could pick herself up again and grab the win anyway. I've brought up earlier in the Top Adrinette Scene discussion that Adrien is very scared of failing, because his father does not forgive failure, so Ladybug being someone who can turn a failure into a win understandably makes his heart go pitter-patter.

Meanwhile, Marinette barely noticed her partner. As I said, she was fully focused on solving the problem, but she was also getting distracted by her own insecurities. Marinette's first experience with Cat Noir was that he was kinda smooth and seemed to be much more confident than Marinette. Her second experience was that he tended to leap before he looked, but was perfectly willing to listen to her say-so. We have a very brief attempt at flirtation from Cat Noir, that Ladybug barely seems to even notice.

In 'Bubbler', Cat Noir actually gets to flirt with his Lady. He's clearly intent on getting her to notice what he's getting at, but Ladybug seems mostly exasperated with him. At this point their partnership is new and Marinette is most likely thinking back to their first case, when Cat Noir was so patient and supportive and not this...much. She still doesn't tell him to quit it, though, meaning she’s trying to accept him being a lot.

'Stormy Weather' has Cat Noir continuing in his attempts to get Ladybug to notice him and this time she responds playfully when they're not right in the middle of a tense situation. She's getting used to this being Cat's way of interacting with her and keeping the mood light.

'Lady Wifi' has the pair discussing the secrecy between them, with Adrien actively making the decision that honoring Ladybug's wishes concerning keeping their secret identities is more important than knowing the identity of the girl he's in love with, that doing so is the proper way to love her. 'Lady Wifi' is also the first time Marinette panics at the idea of something romantic being suggested about her and Cat Noir, when Alya says Adrien might be Cat Noir, that Cat Noir might be the boy she's repeatedly told Alya she's in love with.

'Copycat' shows us for a fact that Ladybug has no idea that Cat Noir's flirtations with her are genuine, and Cat Noir is growing tired of his feelings going entirely unnoticed.

Because of his growing frustration over not being able to communicate his feelings to Ladybug in a manner that she'd take seriously, Adrien goes the extra mile to write her a love poem in 'Dark Cupid'. When he receives a response that appeared with no sender, just a ladybug, he entertains the thought that Ladybug answered his poem and does in fact return his feelings (not realizing that Ladybug would need to know his identity to deliver such a note to him specifically, but Adrien does generally worry less about secret identities than Marinette). 'Dark Cupid' is also the first occasion of Marinette's by-now patented plan "Pretend to be in Love with Cat Noir" to solve problems, except that she was absolutely certain that a True Love's Kiss could occur between them, so there isn't even much room for pretending, but Marinette's denial is so powerful, she'll try.

In 'The Mime' we see Cat Noir actually testing Ladybug's receptiveness to a date, by suggesting that they could have gone to the play together if they didn't have to detransform. Ladybug replies that she has other plans before zipping away, and Cat Noir merely smiles after her. His feelings are growing, and he might still be remembering the love note he got. In fact, this is probably why he says "We are meant to be," in 'Gamer'.

In 'Animan' Ladybug actually does some of her own flirting with Cat Noir by giving him chin scritches. We also see a very straightforward gesture of affection from Cat Noir to Ladybug, when he hugs her in relief after the battle. Ladybug smiles softly at him, seeing that her partner cares about her well-being, while Cat Noir jumps back, embarrassed over his own reaction, or perhaps even afraid of censure. Adrien isn't the type of person to suddenly grab people in a hug, most likely because such "overly emotional" displays are discouraged in the Agreste household. This is the first occasion of Adrien projecting his father's supposed reaction to a thing he does on Ladybug, so he runs away from her.

In 'Simon Says', Cat Noir clings to Ladybug when faced with Gabriel looking at him weirdly (he's trying to figure out if he's Adrien, but Adrien himself never realizes his father was suspicious of his identity). At this point, Ladybug has started to become something of a security symbol to Adrien specifically against his father.

'Reflekta' is the episode where Cat Noir reminds Ladybug that he doesn't just deliver quips and he is actually a hero in his own right, even with diminished capabilities, in response to Marinette almost leaving him behind because he couldn't use his Cat Noir powers, because he'd "just slow (her) down", and then it turns out she couldn't have won without him. However, with the scene of Cat Noir taking the hit, Ladybug also starts on the process of realizing exactly how important her partner is to her success. Noticeably, it's while they're plotting together that Ladybug responds to his flirtation by flirting back, even if not very well (protip, Marinette, demeaning someone isn't funny to anyone but the person doing the demeaning, the other person is not suddenly lacking a sense of humor). Cat Noir is also a bit softer with his overtures in this episode, his cheeky flirtation gaining a bit more intimacy.

In 'Antibug', we can see the lessons Ladybug learned in 'Reflekta' sticking, with Ladybug listening to and valuing Cat Noir's input, unlike how the last time he tried to give her advice in a Chloé situation in 'Evillustrator', when she acknowledged he was right but couldn't bring herself to follow his advice. She also flirts with Cat Noir of her own volition, when she rings his bell. Cat Noir also keeps showing genuine warmth towards Ladybug instead of being just cheeky, when Ladybug compliments him. They affirm their bond after taking down Antibug.

The events of 'Reflekta' and 'Antibug' together influence what happens in 'Volpina', where Marinette is very suspicious of a new superhero showing up, without ever suspecting she could have been an Akuma in disguise. Cat Noir is her partner, and Cat Noir is her only partner. She’s not only learned his value, but has grown possessive over him. There's no need for any outsider. This jealousy over Cat Noir is actually something Marinette doesn't get over during the first three seasons the way she learns to deal with her jealousy over Adrien.

By the time 'The Collector' happens, Adrien has developed enough trust in his partner to ultimately believe her over her suspicions about Gabriel being Hawk Moth. This episode also has the first time Marinette voices concern over Cat Noir's emotional well-being instead of merely physical, who, of course, can't tell her what's wrong because it would break the secret identity clause.

'Prime Queen' has some very nice mutual Ladynoir flirting at the start of the interview. However, they're both mortified when Nadja comes out with the pictures. Cat Noir is confused, because he had no idea that their relationship could even give that impression, he must have been feeling like he hasn't been making much progress in getting closer to Ladybug. Meanwhile, Marinette goes defensive for the first time since 'Lady Wifi' only, this time, even more so. She even runs out on Cat Noir when he, very understandably, wants an explanation why he head to learn from a reporter that she'd planted one on him instead of from her. The episode confirms that Marinette will refuse to, in any way, discuss anything romance-related in relation to Cat Noir, even when there's an innocent explanation, like breaking an Akuma's spell. She's so defensive it's suspicious.

We also have another occasion of Marinette "pretending" to be in love with Cat Noir to solve a problem. While Cat Noir purrs either over the confession, having her close, or both. Marinette also jumped at the chance to "pretend" to confess her love so eagerly, that it left Prime Queen unimpressed. Still, Marinette refused to commit to the "ruse" enough to kiss Cat Noir while he's actually conscious and aware of it, because then she'd have to deal with the aftermath of kissing him.

'Dark Owl' has the first true test of faith between Ladybug and Cat Noir, when both of them have to trust the other not to look while they have to recharge. Although, considering 'The Collector', this is actually the first test only for Ladybug. At the end of the episode, Adrien also genuinely asks Ladybug out on a date for the very first time when they unexpectedly have free time from Owl-sitting, but Marinette preferred to skip off to spend time with Alya since she hadn’t gotten to see her while being so busy with The Owl's antics for so long.

'Glaciator' has Cat Noir planning an actual outing for Ladybug. The thing is, before 'Glaciator', Marinette's response to Cat Noir asking her out has always been that she has other plans, no can do. However, in 'Glaciator', she specifically says: "We'll see," and then she ends up ghosting him because she forgot to even send him a message that she didn't feel like going anywhere. At the same time, Gabriel purposefully stands him up for dinner, causing Adrien to project onto the Ladybug situation so hard that he doesn't think Ladybug even sees him as a real friend. Considering Adrien was under the same impression about Marinette in 'Puppeteer 2', it is typical for Marinette to send these kinds of mixed signals (which is fitting, considering how clear communication seems to be the biggest bullet point in her character development agenda).

On the upside, Cat Noir's compromised emotional state led to him being more frank about his feelings to first Marinette and later to Ladybug, finally making Marinette understand that Cat Noir is actually in love with her and how sensitive her partner can really be and that she can hurt his feelings. Notably, in this episode, Marinette particularly enjoys employing her "Pretend to be in love with Cat Noir" gambit, this time even going as far as kissing him, after finding out he's actually in love with her. Indeed, at the end of the episode, her rejection to Cat Noir is entirely focused on her having feelings for someone else (as well). She never once said she doesn't love him, and, in fact, never claims so in the English dub.

In 'Sapotis' we also see a brief glimpse of Marinette's jealousy over Cat Noir when he welcomes Alya onto the team so warmly but, because Rena Rouge was a teammate Marinette herself chose and trusts, she doesn't feel threatened enough to express it more than by merely keeping an eye on their interaction. 'Sapotis' also starts the arc of Cat Noir starting to lose faith in Ladybug having his best interest in mind when Rena Rouge appears out of nowhere and he's expected to just accept that no-questions-asked.

'Gorizilla' notably has Marinette repeatedly voicing her belief that Cat Noir will show up, something Adrien appreciates a great deal, going as far as blushing over something so simple. He's astounded by the fact that his Lady has faith in him, but it seems he still believes it despite the notion being strange to him.

'Frightningale' really drives home the arc going on in this season. 'Riposte' was the first time we saw Ladybug and Cat Noir seamlessly working together to neutralize an Akuma, but in this episode, they move in perfect synch while fighting Frightningale while handcuffed together. Cat Noir and Ladybug's teamwork has reached phenomenal levels.

I've repeatedly said that 'Syren' is less about Cat Noir and Ladybug's relationship and more about Fu's relationships with his two chosen. Still, this is the episode where Marinette gets put on the spot and comes through for her partner and Cat Noir learns that Ladybug keeping secrets from him wasn't of her own volition, but because of Fu, restoring his faith in her completely.

It's most likely because of the trust Ladybug showed towards him in 'Gorizilla' and their perfectly synchronized teamwork in 'Frightningale' that Cat Noir tries to confess to Ladybug again in 'Frozer'. These two episodes could give Cat Noir hope that he might be winning Ladybug over, especially since, as I said before, Ladybug has not said she doesn't have feelings for him. But she, of course, rejects him, although it's notably with more wistfulness than the last time, especially when she comments how she doesn't think it's possible for the "other boy" to not be a concern. 'Frozer' takes place during the arc in season two that covers Marinette's growing frustration at her inability to progress with Adrien the way she wants to and the discontent shows in her interaction with Cat Noir as well.

The change in how Marinette regards Cat Noir's input in fights between season one and two is especially noticeable in 'Style Queen' and 'Maledictator'. Both times Cat Noir is absent in a fight and this influences how Marinette approaches fighting the Akumas. In 'Style Queen' Marinette tries to play it sneaky but also needs to be saved by Plagg's intervention in his holder's absence. In 'Maledictator', Marinette's plan involved siccing the brainwashed Cat Noir on the Akuma's goons. Cat Noir has become necessary to Marinette, which is why he's able to galvanize her during 'Heroes' Day' by reminding her that the two of them against the world is what's always worked.

Season three as a whole revolves around Adrien losing faith that Ladybug could ever return his feelings the way he wishes and Marinette getting several warning signs about how she could lose Cat Noir. I might even go as far as saying that this season has negative Ladynoir development (in that their relationship grows more frayed and brittle instead of stronger).

A big reason for this new development direction is 'Reflekdoll', which, according to the production codes, happens early in the season. In this episode, Ladybug and Cat Noir learn the worst possible (false) lessons about themselves and each other and they carry those lessons for the rest of the season. In my 'Reflekdoll' conflict analysis, I wrote that Ladybug basically "learns" that Cat Noir is fae-like in that he isn't bothered by mortal things like stress or heartbreak. Cat Noir, meanwhile, "learns" that, while it doesn't matter if Ladybug makes a mistake because she can always fix it, him making a mistake makes him fundamentally less worthy as a hero and a person, so he could never be as valuable as Ladybug even as a person and not only strategically.

'Weredad', meanwhile, is the quintessential evidence episode for Marinette being both possessive and in denial about Cat Noir. She's literally pretending to be in love with him to him, while totally denying to herself that she feels anything for him, all the while she's feeling jealous over him seemingly moving on from her to be in love with her. The reason it's so important that no one but Marinette herself and Tikki know what went down in this episode is that Marinette's denial would never last if someone actually questioned this whole mess.

This is also an episode where we can clearly see the aftermath of what 'Reflekdoll' did to Cat Noir. He's once again projecting his situation with his father onto someone else (this time Tom), but he's also blatantly refusing to fight Tom at full strength, because he feels that it's his fault he got Akumatized, allowing himself to get hurt severely because he feels he's not that important, that he might even deserve it.

'Oblivio' has Ladybug once again do the whole: "How dare you say I'm in love with Cat Noir I am quitting this conversation right now!" routine. Cat Noir also got actual confirmation that something about him made his Lady want to kiss him when their memories had been wiped.

'Desperada' has the semi-infamous scene of Ladybug saying she doesn't need Cat Noir and, while she learns the valuable lesson that yes she flipping does, this is also the episode where Adrien repeatedly fails to use the Snake Miraculous correctly, having to give it up to someone else, feeling like an undeserving failure *turns to look at 'Weredad' and then at ‘Reflekdoll*.

'Kwamibuster' is an episode where everyone keeps telling Ladybug not to trust Cat Noir and she believes it to the degree that she sees him as a bigger threat than a Kwami-targeting Akuma. In other words, Cat Noir being treated like a part-time hero again in season four is because of 'Kwamibuster'.

'Gamer 2.0' is actually an important episode for the Ladynoir dynamic. This is the episode where Marinette takes on way too much responsibility (voluntarily) and is really stressed about it, while Cat Noir dismantles that stress with his good humor and positive outlook. This episode enforces the lesson that was stated outright in 'Reflekdoll': "Everyone has their role", and Cat Noir's role is to be the jokester who makes Ladybug feel better. Also, Cat Noir doesn’t even hesitate to make a sacrifice play for his Lady, because he’s less important.

'Timetagger' foreshadows that Marinette's words of affirmation are losing their effect. She repeatedly says things like "I trust Cat Noir", "You're irreplaceable", "You know you're the best", but she doesn't know how to express her regard to Cat Noir in actions. And it's important to note that Adrien was raised among liars and manipulators. Even if he doesn't doubt Ladybug's intentions, he might doubt the depth and truth of her feelings for him. Because Ladybug is so nice, she might lie about valuing him to make him feel better. Words aren't enough when words are the only thing between you and your insecurities. This is also an episode that feeds into Cat Noir's worthlessness arc, with Bunnyx repeatedly insisting that Ladybug in the future is just awesome, while Cat Noir broke her Miraculous. Even Ladybug shoots him down at the end of the episode when he tries to ask for extra affirmation, claiming he "already knows he's great".

In 'Puppeteer 2', Cat Noir's hope from 'Oblivio' that Ladybug might be starting to be won over by him comes back to bite him when the wax Ladybug gets close to him by pretending to be coming onto him. He only realized she was a fake because she smelled wrong, something that comes back to haunt him in 'Ladybug', when he's faced with a perfect copy, whose only difference to the original is that she's apparently in love with him. The villains clearly know he’s so in love with Ladybug it sometimes blinds him.

With the villains using this clear weakness as an in, it's no wonder that Cat Noir finally makes the decision to move on from Ladybug in 'Heart Hunter'. He tries one more time to test her interest to see if she'd be jealous of him dating and, when she's merely overjoyed, he decides to finally move on to Kagami. However, when faced with the actual reality of Cat Noir giving his attention to someone else instead of her (instead of in addition to her), Ladybug actually finds herself hurt and questions the lack of "My Lady" in Cat Noir addressing her, but she instantly denies it when Cat Noir notices. Denial denial denial...

Aaaaaand that's a wrap! Putting this together made me realize just how interconnected the show really is but no one notices because there aren’t any secret identities being revealed, people getting together or lore being revealed. Even something that seems like a breather episode like 'Gamer 2.0' has a larger role in the arc of developing the relationship between our main heroes.

#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug #ladynoir #lovesquare #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml meta #long post #REALLY long

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years ago

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"Sweet mother, I cannot weave / slender Aphrodite has overcome me / with longing for a girl." -Sappho

Look, I love the idea of Mavid for eternity, I reaaaally do. The way of getting that, however....

I AM LOVE ALL THE NICO AND MAX'S INTERACTIONS🥺🥺🥺💙

Nico: warlock math comes with a price. It is really dangerous, it can kill you or create a lot of damage around you. Some things are better unresolved

Also Nico: anyway, I'm gonna teach you this, it sure as hell won't go south😎

I feel Nico is teaching him warlock math bc he saw something in his future. I just know it!!!!

What the fuck is Max trying to do????

The cane was blue now. Because David’s ability to make things better seemed to have no end. My GOD they are both so in love it's embarrassing!! Jk, jk. I love them <33

Magnus is indeed very cool and we as a society don't recognize this enough!!!

“Good for you,” Max said. “And you know what? Growing up is kinda overrated.” feel this😔

“Keep the Chairman’s name out of your mouth,” bapak hissed. “He has been through enough.” My parents when I scold my dogs:

YESS!!! That's practically harassment!!! We should talk about this more!!! Thank you, Magnus 💙

He knows something and I don't like it.... This is suspicious....👀

I don't feel a hint of sympathy for Mallory, but omg Max is good at this tbh😂

Poor Simon😔 stay strong, soldier...

Lovehollow are here to save the day!!!!

“My girlfriend is here with me. I hope that’s okay.” There is something so sweet in Roman calling Gigi his girlfriend!! Idk what is it!! Maybe I'm just too single for this, but I am soft🥺🥺

The logo had a deep meaning hidden I feel it in my bones!!!

“Never,” she replied. “If you aren’t here, then I don’t want to be here either.”

“No Roman and Gigi?” he chuckled. “Shame indeed.”

Imagine a place without them!! I feel bad about the rest of them 😔

Roman just panicking internally is so funny for some reason 😂😂

Why are these people finding Hunter familiar???? I'm trying to connect some dots but I just can't and at this point I am anxiety 😭 and his eyes!!! They're a clue, RIGHT?!?!

She fought the urge to set the whole damn place on fire. No babe, don't resist it!! Burn the whole thing down!!!

Everytime I remember how smart Roman is, I cry jdhdudj

Finally!!! They found the seashell!! And it was obviously them🥰🥰

Roman took out his katana and Gigi took out her butterfly knives. “Come get it if you want.” they were so sexy for this tbh

I don't know wtf just happened...but ok I guess??

Ahhhh reading about Marcus and Mallory takes another year of my life😭😭

“I don’t even know him, Mallory. But even I could see that he loves David. You mean nothing to him!” Even he sees it!!!

He looked at her and smiled sadly. “Because if you try to take it, it will kill you." I see it as a win-win....

“You want me to mutilate myself to prove my love?” he asked. She nodded. NO THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!

“Love shouldn’t hurt, Mallory.”

Oh.

“What does it feel like then?” she asked him in a whisper.

“Love feels good,” Max told her.

THIS QUOTE>>>

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING??? WHY DID HE GIVE HER THE RING??? 😭😭😭 That ring belongs to Mavid only!!!

Just talk to him, Lexi!!! Stop dragging this out for fucks sake!!😂

“Gross,” Lexi said. “Can’t we just punch them until they’re nice to people?” I support this plan 100%

I don't even know Achilles' girlfriend, but I am love them💙💙

Fuck nuggets. Why did she keep forgetting about this? omg I'm done with her jshsjdbdk

I really hadn't thought about it the way Achilles said, but he has a great point!! Like, we don't see it much, but the mundane alliance has definitely improved a LOT of lives

“It is. I wish we can just fast forward to the bit where Gigi figures everything out.” same😔

The punch Lexi gave her fixed something in me

Mallory rolled her eyes. “That little bitch has nothing on my brother.” That's it. I'm done with this bitch. Nobody insults Gigi and lives under my watch 🔪🔪🔪

Jace took a bullet for her daughter and now I will never recover from this😭😭

This made me think of "Don't worry little nephilim. Uncle Magnus is here"❤️

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT??? HOW COULD SHE BLOCK HIS SPELL??? WHAT??

She hurt Jace and Magnus. I need Alec going feral, please! Just as a little treat🥰

Anyway, I just read this now bc yesterday I finished reading Crooked kingdom (I took a loot of time for that one and idk why!!! I loved it and it's definitely one of my fave books💙) and also watched Young Royals!! I also loved it!! And the ending jfc😭

Thoughts on the new season??

THE POETIC QUOTE OOF.

Omg Crooked Kingdom is the best?? I'm glad you enjoyed it!

The meds that are supposed to put me to sleep actually keep me awake (wtf is this nonsense??) so I binged Young Royals last night and of course I loved it! The angst in this season was immaculate.

Also I love Simon so much please he is a soft bean and needs to be protected 😭

ps - mallory didn't block Magnus' spell. Marcus activated the device and collapsed the ley lines in Cardiff. So, Magnus couldn't use his magic anymore :(

#lbaf

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energyanon · 3 years ago

Text

Henry Family Reading (+DG)

Just going to ask that no one reblogs this one, only reason being - If it were to get outside of this blog and god forbid to any of the fam through gossip sites sharing, I feel like it wouldn’t be too nice to know what certain Family members thought of you, you know what I mean?

Note: NV + DG were right next to each other. DG was put down after Natalie and it felt like they were one. Which I just wanted to note cause it was interesting. I took them both out until I was done with fam though, as to not mess with the fam dynamic.

Also please note that when it comes to these, they aren’t the surface interactions that you will see with one another, these are a deeper level, taking in consideration past memories, traumas etc rather than how they may interact with one another in their day to day. Eg. My dad and I talk every so often, there’s never any fights or anything happening - but if you went into a reading with us, you’d see me have incredible anger towards him, and a huge disconnect between the two of us. So even though we talk and share things with each other in day to day, there’s alot of deeper stuff there. So think about it on perhaps a “therapy” level, just before you get to the crux of the issue. Also this is LOoonnnnnggggg. So get a treat and strap yo selves in.

Just so it makes more sense for you guys, this is how everyone is placed:

HC:

Quite anxious, feels like he’s being put on trial in the middle of the ring. No one is comforting to him at the moment. Mum is distant, Charlie, he feels a connection to but Charlie isn’t looking his way, Nik is the closest and is paying attention but HC doesn’t really want him to, he just wants Charlie’s attention. Simon is actually paying attention to HC but HC looked at Simon like “oh fuck, you’re here! Didn’t see you there” as in Simon feels a lot smaller than HC not quite as significant. HC doesn’t see dad at all, just piers. HC Feels that piers and dad are best buddies and he can’t get to dad when piers is there. He actually doesn’t like simon’s attention and rather it wasn’t on him at all. He doesn’t want to move, but if he could move, it would be behind Nik, but he wants to get Charlie’s attention first.

Charlie:

Smug as anything. Feels childish too. He’s feels confident and smug that he’s mums favourite :) mum is also closest to him on the field. He thinks Mum worries and cares more for him than any of the others. He sees HC is looking at him but out of spite he doesn’t wanna look, cause then HC wins. He doesn’t really want to look anyway, it’s a game to him, and he has no interest. He’s so smug. It feels like a little kid you know when they do the finger on the nose thing and go “nah nah nah nah nah nah” in a really mocking way? That’s what he’s doing to HC, but not AT him cause he doesn’t want HC to have his attention but he’s thinking it.

Why did you post the wedding thing?

To fuck with him.

Why? Didn’t you think it would cause him strife?

He scoffed. No it was fucking funny. They were in on it (the groom)

(The image he gave was that Charlie’s friends don’t seem to like HC for whatever reason)

Why don’t they like him?

What he did

How?

He fucked me over (EA note: that didn’t feel like it was true)

How did he fuck you over?

Money.

(EAN: Once again doesn’t feel like it’s true, feels like Charlie wanted money and didn’t get it and HC and him fought over that.)

Yeah... he wanted MORE money. THAT felt true.

I don’t actually like Charlie’s energy atm I’m gonna move to someone else cause it feels really manipulative and greedy

Mother:

Immediate thought was a tired concern “the boys are fighting”. The tone of that was “Again”

She thinks Charlie is the catalyst but he’s also the youngest and the image is of her comforting Charlie.

“Henry should know better”

She feels like Henry is teasing him but not with words but with.. promises? I cant quite get through to what she means cause she doesn’t seem to believe it herself.. she doesn’t think HC is being vindictive, but mean. “You know Charlie can’t have what you have stop stringing him along”

She wants Piers to take care of it.

I’m looking around to see what she thinks of the rest of them as she has her back towards the rest of the boys.

Nik is her “good boy”

Simon once again is “oh you’re here too”

Dad was just “hello darling.” But dead pan as anything. Dad does what he likes she kind of rolled her eyes at that. Charlie is her baby. She wants to squish his cheeks.

She actually wants to move closer to Charlie and give him a snuggle.

OHFUC. I looked at Henry and the one word to come up was “pathetic” with a sneer 😬

Why pathetic?

I don’t want to talk about it.

Why is he pathetic to you?

She gave images of career, there was a flash of a blonde woman but mostly the thought was “weak”

How is he weak?

Emotionally. She sees him as a guy who is folding in on himself and crumbling.

She sees him like this:

But more sad (couldn’t find the photo and didn’t want to spend ages on it it’s just for your guises reference)

Why don’t you give him more love, maybe its what he needs?

He doesn’t deserve it (EA Note: At this point I was a little triggered, I have a huge issue with mothers acting this way, and I got a bit defensive on HC’s behalf, that’s my bad)

What do you mean, you are his mother??

She didn’t feel like I deserved an explanation.

No wonder your son is so fucked up he can’t even cry

Good I taught him not to.

(I called her stone cold and she agreed with me but I’m moving on now cause I am clearly triggered by cold mothers 😅)

What do you think of NV?

Pathetic as well as a sling of words that says she’s a tacky American (and otherwords that are degrading to women)

I’m moving on from Mother because she’s just giving nothing but mean girls.

NIK:

Nik really likes Henry! The immediate feeling is absolute joy and love. Nik feels the same age as Henry too it’s like when he and HC are together they’re little twins. It feels young! Kind of like Henry come play with me :) Henry I love you :) Henry!!

(aw guys he really loves his brother I’m getting emotional.)

Like he’s so happy to see him and wants him to be well and wants to give him a hug and it’s so genuine and kind and wants Henry to stay over and be safe and ok 🥺

(My fricken little heart I can’t)

Yeah the feeling is almost overwhelming. He adores his little brother.

He gives a polite nod to Simon but doesn’t really connect with him like he does Henry, Charlie he’s nice to but he’s a bit cautious of him I think in relation to Henry, and piers is super big brother status to Nik. Nik has a lot of images of the boys playing when they were younger and that’s really cute he’s just bombarding me with them. He does really like Piers too but Piers is very much a big brother to him. He respects him a lot and his authority.

Nik actually has quite a young-ness about him when it comes to his brothers. But he seems to feel like the boys are their own little cohort and the parents aren’t really on it. Like they’re their own squad. They have to look out for each other

(OH MY GOD I GOT A VISION OF TINY BABY BOYS HOLDING HANDS WITH GIANT BACKPACKS GOING TO SCHOOL. STOP IT.)

Nik, as soon as he looks at dad his childishness goes away and gets very serious. It’s a “sir” type of relationship.

Even his posture straightened.

He’s a little bit fearful of dad. Not so much in an abuse way but in a “we must respect dad” way.

And it seems that Piers is there to make sure it happens.

With Mum, there’s a bit of sadness it doesn’t seem like there was much attention from mum, and that’s where he feels that he and HC are the same.

Simon to Nik is almost transparent. Not that Nik doesn’t see him, but more like Simon doesn’t want to be seen and doesn’t involve himself in family things. Nik likes Simon and wishes he was around more but seems to understand that Simon wants his space from the family and that’s ok. But he sees Simon more than anyone else has at this point.

(Guys I might be a fan of Nik, he’s really nice)

How does Nik view NV?

He’s not as happy to see her. Actually not really happy to see her at all, he keeps nervously flickering to HC and is protective of him, but is also keeping his distance. he won’t intrude on anything. “If that’s what Henry wants”

Do you think HC loves her?

No.

Then why are you ok with this?

Henry is going through things and he needs support and I will support him. (He actually gave me absolute word vomit on basically how concerned he was about HC’s wellbeing etc and gave alot of images of a pretty much broken man but I couldn’t write it all down so I’m just giving you the spark notes version)

Do you think NV is the one?

Fuck no. If he’s going to be with anyone she’s going to be kind.

(Nik also gives me alot more words than anyone else ever has? It’s bizzare)

I said do you imagine a housewife for him?

He said no Henry likes women.

We know he likes women

He likes women as in he wouldn’t treat them like that

(Me: am shook) you think?

He wouldn’t. Not with the right one. I don’t think he has ever. Flirtations maybe, but with his girlfriends when it’s serious. He likes them.

“Likes”… isn’t really… equality? Does he treat them well?

As well as he can

Given…?

The circumstances (family)

And what are those

Tradition. He won’t fight anyone on it at the table. But privately. He cares.

(I’m letting my own opinion of this go, moving on)

What do you want for Henry?

(He was very sad about this) I want him to be loved. By someone who actually cares about him.

Do you think he’ll ever have that?

I don’t know

Why wouldn’t he?

He’s… complicated. But a good guy.

(He seems to truly want me to know that he’s a GOOD guy he put a lot of emphasis on that)

Ok thank you Nik I’m letting you go now :)

You’re welcome :)

(I’ve never closed one off like that before but that felt like a real ass conversation so idk it was polite???? Nik is throwing me for a LOOP here)

SIMON:

Simon is interesting he is standing statue still. He is not looking at anyone other than NV. Who I placed when I asked Nik about her.

He is watching her. He’s waiting for her to make a move so he can take her down. It’s not a dislike. It’s a “watch it” very serious. When he looks at Henry. He likes Henry, that’s it. The only emotion that comes up is “watch it Natalie.”

He’ll protect Henry with every inch of him.

He sees Nik and smiles immediately, there’s fond feelings there, a head nod to Nik too. Nik feels like the mediator of the family to him. Nik looks after them all. Makes sure they’re all ok.

Simon does not like mum. Ok. Good to know.

Simon gets the same feelings from dad. Must respect dad. Doesn’t seem to like him much but likes him a hell of a lot more than mum.

Piers is also to be respected but Simon is deflated with him. He feels like he’s constantly being stepped on. He looks at Charlie with a disappointed head shake. Charlie is troublesome.

He’s not giving me anything else.

PIERS:

Very proud. Standing tall.

He feels like a prince in which dad is the king, and piers is the next in line to the dynasty. He feels close to dad. Makes dad proud. Looks straight ahead, great posture, very stoic. He listens to dad. I got the image of him being little with his dad and it was very mentor-like. Dad taught him alot. He doesn’t really look at the rest of the family. It’s him and dad, if he looks at the rest of them he’ll lose focus on the future. He acknowledges Simon but pats him on the head. Acknowledges Nik with a small smile (seems Nik is friendly with everyone)

Henry the immediate thought for him was “ugh” disappointing.

He sees Charlie as really little.

Mum, he doesn’t really pay attention to. It’s him and dad. But once again even with all of this, it was him thinking about the boys, not actually turning to them. He is statuesque and staring at the future and the future is some kind of family dynasty or something?

He gives literally 0 thought to NV.

“She’s not apart of this.”

Other than that there’s nothing from him.

Henry’s dad:

Very much identical to piers. Even towards his wife he seems to barely look at her. He has the same position, looking in the same direction. Very stoic. “Legacy” is the word for him.

When he looks at NV it’s “if Henry wants to fuck around that’s on him” when he looks at Henry it’s just that “Henry can do better” in a disapproving way. Not in relation to NV, but as in Henry can do better just in life.

He looks at Simon “Simon is a good kid. I wish he wasn’t so stunted though” (he actually said the R word but I redacted that cause what the fuck?) seems like that’s a joke that is made often in private. But the image I got of how he views Simon is that he’s like the hermit card. He seems to have a weird interest that he focuses on and so the family are like ?? Ok leave Simon alone to his weird little hobby. But he does like the kid. Just.. Simon is not piers...

Nik is also a great kid to him and he likes him alot. Same feeling as what Simon got for him, that he’s the mediator.

A certain fondness for Charlie but looks at him like he’s a literal child. Not in an insulting way, in like “that’s my little boy” kind of way.

Do you think it’s Charlie’s fault for what happened with Henry?

It’s Henry’s fault.

Why?

He shouldn’t have teased him.

(EA NOTE: what the fuck do they MEAN?!)

Why do you seem to be so disappointed in Henry?

He can do better

He’s a literal movie star

A b rate one.

A MILLIONARE? And successful?

Omg he literally said “porn stars can be millionaires too it doesn’t make them successful”

He seems to be more concerned with Henry’s status and “legacy” than his money.

HC:

All that being said and done, HC really wants Charlie to look at him.

He’s a bit sad, he seems to think he is the one who did something wrong but also knows that Charlie is acting stubborn. He’s a bit stubborn too but he’s willing to extend the olive branch but it feels like Charlie hasn’t taken it completely. Yeah this hurts him a bit ,the fact that him and Charlie aren’t best buddies anymore. Charlie was his little brother and he’s sad. Henry looks at his mum as though he’s expectant that she’s gonna chew him out and he’s not sad about that, more just “ok ready to take it” there is a bit of fear there. He doesn’t like it but he feels like she’s gone chew his ear off so he has to be respectful and just take it. There’s no real connection to mum though like he doesn’t turn to her for comfort at all. He won’t move towards her, he doesn’t want to move towards her. He honestly seems a bit scared of being close to her. He does find Simon a bit more comforting now. He knows that Simon has his back, but still not a huge connection. Piers again, is big brother to him. You respect piers, piers has authority. The boys listen to him. Henry feels very much like a child looking up at his big brother when he’s looking at piers. When it comes to his father there are some very sweet moments that popped up. (More like photographs of HC being in his lap and his dad is showing him something outside) but otherwise there’s almost a complete disconnect from dad. The only thing that came up was “i wish I was enough for you”

His movement was to move behind Nik so I’ll do that for him

As soon as HC moved behind Nik, Nik turned around to face him and Nik is very happy to have him close. HC feels much more comforted being this close and once again feels like a little brother who’s awaiting for Nik to tell him what they’re going to play 🥺

They bring out the boys in each other omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Henry does feel a bit shy and defeated by the rest of the family but it feels like he feels like nik has his back and they can just hang out together if they want. Nik is going to take care of him :)

He doesn’t want to fully trust nik though. There doesn’t seem to be anyone in this family that he trusts completely but out of all of them, he feels the most comfortable and cared for around nik.

And that’s the only movement I have there.

Just because she is in the field at the moment, what the hell, lets do: NV:

NV IS SCARED SHITLESS OF HIS FAMILY.

even with Nik, she’s side eyeing the fuck out of him. she is not comfortable and with Henry’s back to her she’s not feeling good at all.

She’s stuck to the ground. “Maybe if I don’t move they won’t notice me”

She looked at his mum and was immediately like “fuck! LOOK FORWARD” like someone who is about to get chewed out entirely.

She feels comfortable with NONE of them.

Ok placing DG now.

DG Is holding hands with NV.

DG is NV’s ROCK.

Natalie seems anxious and saying “it’s not a good idea”, DG reassured her that it’s a good idea. DG is very set on NV and I’m not sure what the reason is

DG will protect NV. (EAN: Are they friends?)

OHMYGOSBDOWNS

i asked are you friends she said

Nope. It’s just a business transaction.

For Henry?

No.

For you?

Yes.

What do you mean?

Good planning.

For what?

Company

She genuinely won’t give me anything else. She’s closed off to any other questions but she is holding on to Natalie

She says that Henry is a means to an end.

Henry is money.

Henry’s a handsome little fool.

Do you even like him?

As much as you can like him.

What does that mean?!

As much as you can like a guy like that (she insinuated there’s nothing in his head)

Why did you even sign Henry?

Superman.

Ok and now he’s not superman anymore?

We move on to bigger things.

Like what? he’s no Bond.

Not if I have anything to say about it

How do you plan on getting him to Bond?

I have my ways.

Is Natalie apart of that plan?

Yes.

(EA: ?????????! This is not going where I thought this would go)

Did you create NV and HC?

Yes

You got them together?

Yes

(I was going to ask why again but we already got that answer)

I’m moving NV out. This is too crazy.

Ok interesting as soon as NV was gone HC wanted to turn around to Danny. His back has been turned this whole time. OH MY GOD BECAUSE ITS BEHIND HIS BACK. FUCK! Ok that’s weird it’s almost like that whole situation was a side bar that he wasn’t included in even though he was in the field!!? BIZZARE?! Never had that happen before, sorry i’m talking to myself at the moment.

HC:

Henry blindly trusts DG. He’s a kid waiting for instructions and things DG is got his best interests at heart.

But he is also.. waiting.. and he’s looking around because he feels like he’s been waiting a while but he trusts her. He knows she’s gonna give the goods and he’ll go off like a good little soldier to do whatever it is. The Rock also popped up. So he believes whatever she did for him, she’ll do for Henry. There have been promises made apparently.

It’s almost as if HC sees DG as a mother figure that he trusts. She’s there for him. He thinks she’s genuinely trying. And that’s all I got. No movement or anything in these readings. Usually there’s alot more movemnet. But to be fair, there was also alot of people on the field and I wasn’t trying to shift anything, just know.

1. POOR SIMON?!?!?!?!?!!

2. Guys I really had like a suss of Nik before this I was like 👀 but nope I was so wrong Nik is an absolute sweetheart omg. He has such a nice loving energy I wanna die :(

3. I would love to go deeper and see why his mum is so cold (what did her parents/husband do to her) but alas, that crosses some boundaries. I was also super unprofessional when dealing with her that’s my bad I should have been more unbiased when dealing with her. Mums are a TRIGGER FOR ME 😅

4. DG....... and NV?????????????????

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baegarrick · 4 years ago

Note

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

#zukka #zukka au #love simon au

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elysianrey · 4 years ago

Text

let me take your coat (and this weight off your shoulders)

He first notices her after his Thursday afternoon therapy session with Dr. Raynor.

His brain begins to automatically profile her as it does with most people he interacts with these days. Short. At least 5’3”. Petite frame. Shoulder length, brown hair. Soft features. Brown eyes. Mid 30s. Jittery legs. Twisting fingers.

Old habits die hard, he supposes.

She’s sitting in the waiting area of the mental health facility, eyes briefly meeting as his footsteps fall past her chair on his way out of the office.

She looks familiar.

Her eyes echo the same sentiment of recognition, which causes an uneasy feeling to creep into the pit of his stomach. His fingers tighten around the small leather notebook in his jacket pocket. The moment is broken as he shifts his attention back to the polished flooring.

His gloved hand pushes the door open, leaving the brunette woman alone.

He spends the evening rifling through the pages of his notebook. His mind shuffles through the faces like an old film roll. Then he hits replay after his initial check.

Again.

He combs his fingers through his hair as he leans against the wall of his apartment. He lets out a small sigh of relief.

No connections to her are in the book.

It becomes a habit for him every Thursday.

Leave Dr. Raynor’s office. Walk through the lobby. Make eye contact with the brunette woman, whom he still can’t seem to place. Consider acknowledging her with a grin. Decide against it. Look down at the ground. Leave the facility.

He realizes he’s capable of acting more- human? Normal? Like an actual functioning adult in the twenty-first century. Dr. Raynor kindly reminds him of it every session, and yet, the creeping feeling of self-doubt never fails to get the better of him.

Yesterday.

Today.

And probably tomorrow.

She’s not in the waiting area the following Thursday.

His feet pick up their pace to exit the facility that day, seeing as he has no real reason to take his time. His chest twinges in disappointment, despite having no good reason to. He doesn’t even know her name. In fact, the only real thing he knows about her is that she meets with a therapist on Thursday afternoons. Like him.

Which meant she was working through some stuff. Like him.

As he approaches the door, his eyes focused on the ground, the force of a body slamming into him nearly knocks him on his ass. His hands instinctively rise to steady the person apparently in a rush today. Then his breath catches upon realizing who is standing between his outstretched arms.

Her eyes are red-rimmed, cheeks puffy, and when she lifts her head to apologize, she suddenly begins to aggressively wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. Embarrassment mixing with the despair she is clearly experiencing.

He stammers. “I—are you ok—?”

Before he can finish his question, she pulls back and cuts him off. “I’m so sorry—I really have to—“

She stumbles around him and disappears past the receptionist and down the hall without another word, leaving him feeling confused and concerned all at the same time.

He spends the next week worrying about her.

It’s better than worrying about his own demons.

Strangely, it gives his brain a small sense of relief.

Dr. Raynor has to reschedule for Friday.

He leaves flowers at the receptionist desk and tells them they’re for the brunette woman who comes in at 3.

He hopes she gets them.

She’s approaching him before he has the chance to register her appearance in the lobby. Her small, yet self-assured frame blocks his exit to the double doors. She’s speaking and he immediately picks up that she uses her hands to get her point across.

“Hi. I just want to apologize for what happened a couple weeks ago. I hope I didn’t cause too much damage to—,” her right hand does a sweeping motion across his chest. “Anyway... my name is Jane. Jane Foster.” The woman extends her hand, eyes finally meeting his directly.

She’s nervous. Hesitant.

He takes it in his gloved, vibranium hand and gives it a gentle shake. “James. And don’t worry about it.” She smiles and he returns the effort out of politeness.

She drops his hand and brushes a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “Well, it was nice to meet you James. I better head—“ She finishes her sentence by pointing in the opposite direction, toward the hallway of therapist offices.

He gives her a nod, stepping out of her way. Jane starts past him and before she can get too far, the words slip out of his mouth.

“Would you want to maybe grab a drink sometime?” James can’t help but inwardly cringe at the awkward bluntness in the question, however there’s no going back now.

Jane turns and bites down on her lower lip. “Yeah,” she replies. “Yeah that would be nice.”

James sits on his makeshift bed in his apartment living room, scrolling through the contacts on his phone list. Sam. Shuri. Dr. Raynor. Clint. His apartment manager.

And now Jane Foster.

Dr. Raynor wasn’t kidding when she chastised him for only having ten contacts. At least he had added one name to his list.

They were meeting tonight at 8 pm. She suggested a small, trendy downtown bar that had a bizarre name he couldn’t prounounce. He wonders if this date was going to be like all the others.

Fake. Stiff. Unbearable.

A small part of him tries to insist that Jane is different. Sure, he can’t logically reason how he knows this, yet he can’t shake the feeling she is different in some way to the other women he’s met since his return.

He’s right.

She’s unlike anyone woman he’s ever met in the twenty-first century.

It’s not hard to get Jane talking about herself, and once he does, he spends nearly the rest of the evening listening to her talk about her work with space.

He learns she’s an astrophysicist and she’s in New York working at the Simons Foundation. She disappeared during The Blip too and now she’s trying to make up for the 5 years she lost. Jane’s passion for learning more about the universe captivates him. She shares some of the theories she has about other universes that may exist and he’s left in awe as she paints pictures into his mind of periwinkle planets, alien lifeforms, and methods of possibly meeting them.

She doesn’t get the chance to ask him many questions, which is a relief.

Her laughter is light, the alcohol clearly easing the weight of the world that she wears like a prisoner around her shoulders. He doesn’t know what she was like before whatever shit got to her, but he enjoys seeing Jane this way. Carefree.

He asks if he can see her again.

She says yes.

She texts him about an upcoming Celestial event. A telescope will allow you to see Saturn’s rings and moons all night if the sky is clear.

He buys a telescope and sets it up on the roof of his apartment building and spends hours watching Saturn from his point on Earth. It makes him feel like a small speck in comparison to everything beyond this planet. He wants to find out more of what this life has to offer before it’s too late and it reminds him of his effort of making amends for his past sins.

Clearly he still has a lot of work to do.

She admits that she did some digging and she knows who he really is on their third date. He supposes he’s not too surprised at her inquisitiveness, but her declaration suddenly makes him feel entirely exposed and vulnerable.

They’re sitting in the corner of a quiet coffee shop and James eyes the nearest exit because his chest is contracting and the air is not meeting his lungs like it should. His heart hammers in his chest as hard as his metal fist did against the cryogenic cage Hyrda imprisoned him in time and time again.

“I have a friend who is pretty skilled at finding out about people,” she continues lowly, toying at the ceramic coffee cup. “I just—didn’t feel right lying to you about it. You looked familiar when I saw you in Dr. Raynor’s office that first day.”

He tries to relax the muscles in his neck and shoulders. “No, I understand. So I guess you know I’m pretty messed up then?” He had never personally seen his own file, however it wasn’t hard to imagine what it contained.

Jane let out a breathy laugh, as if she couldn’t quite believe what he said. “Aren’t we all, James?”

The weather is nice enough to start meeting in Central Park and they begin taking strolls around the park during her lunch breaks every day. They play a game where he gets to ask her a question about her past and then she gets to ask him a question about his past and they have to answer honestly. Maybe it’s reminiscent of his meetings with Dr. Raynor, yet James is willing to open up because Jane is too, and he recognizes it’s not easy for either of them.

Sometimes they only get through one question, the memories being too painful, and in those moments, their fingers tentatively find the others. It’s reassuring, this insignificant brush of skin against glove, and James suddenly wishes he wasn’t wearing the gloves. It’s been too long since he’s felt the touch of another against his bare skin.

He decides to take the right one off when he’s with her. James makes sure he’s standing on her left side for their walks and his heart flips in his chest when she unexpectedly intertwines her fingers with his. She gives him a squeeze and he returns it, an actual smile ghosting the corners of his lips.

Maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him or maybe it’s just the sun, but he swears he sees a faint blush creeping up her fair cheeks.

She invites him over to the apartment the foundation is paying rent for after her therapy session. Jane insists that she is more than capable of making something for the both of them that tops the usual take out they have a habit of settling for when they hang out together. So he can’t help but let out a chuckle and a teasing comment when he walks into a smoking kitchen and the fire alarm beeping wildly while a flustered Jane is scrambling to turn off the oven where a blackened chicken resides.

They end up ordering their usual take out.

At the end of their sushi dinner, Jane sets her empty container on the coffee table in front of them and leans back into the armchair, tucking her feet beneath her. She’s oddly quiet and he stares from his spot across on the couch. Her brown eyes gaze distantly out the wall-length windows, her brilliant brain lost in thought.

He doesn’t mind the silence, of course, yet he feels a tug to pull her back from wherever she’s gone off to. “Do you ever dance?”

Her lips curve upward. “Only if you count when I’m by myself and I have the radio blaring.”

James smiles at the mental image of a goofy Jane, throwing her arms and legs about in no particular rhythm. “Back in the 40s, I was known around the town for my swing dancing moves,” he informs her casually with a cock of his eyebrow.

She laughs, shooting him a mock expression of awe. “James Buchanan Barnes, I had no idea you were such a man of many talents.”

He nonchalantly shrugs and then practically bounces off the couch, extending his concealed, left hand to her. “It’s time you learn a move or two today, Ms. Foster.”

They rearrange some of Jane’s furniture around to make an adequate amount of space that won’t end in destruction. He begins by teaching her the basic steps, leading her slowly through each one until she insists she’s ready to go on to the next. He finds it ironic that out of all the damage Hydra did to his brain, he can still remember one of his favorite weekend activities from when he was a young man. Well, he’s still pretty young compared to his friends who were with him at the time.

If he’s being honest, Jane was born with two left feet, but she is determined to try regardless of her uncoordinated legs. By the end of the night, he gives her the name of a song to play on her Bluetooth speakers and they’re dancing away, Jane doing her best to keep up with the beat and James laughing every time she steps on his feet again.

He’s convinced he could stay in this moment forever.

She surprises him by taking them to a jazz and swing dance club.

He swears he’s in love with her by the end of the evening.

He kisses her for the first time when they’re standing on the doorstep of her apartment.

James is leaving Dr. Raynor’s office, ready to get as far away as possible from the head spinning forest wallpaper he’s stuck in front of every session when her words stop him in his tracks.

“You’re helping her, you know.”

He’s never said her name when they discuss her in his sessions. He assumed Jane saw Dr. Raynor too, seeing as she was connected to the superhero world, yet she’s never told him and he’s never asked.

He looks over his shoulder at the older woman, his hand still on the doorknob. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

He has not made love to someone since before he was drafted into the war so when an evening of drinking and card games turns into take off one article of clothing every time you lose a game, James begins to sweat. He has a feeling he knows where this is leading when she’s seated on top of him, clad in only her undergarments, her hips grinding into his mercilessly.

It turns out she’s not a very good card player.

His mouth is connected to her neck, breathing a trail of wet kisses up to her ear where he bites down softly on the tip of her earlobe and she lets out a tiny whimper that nearly ends him then and there.

Her hands wander under the hem of his long-sleeved shirt and he freezes when she starts to tug the material upward. She senses his apparent discomfort and stops, looking down at him.

She’s picked up on the fact that he’s sensitive about the metal arm. “Sorry,” she whispers. “If you don’t want to take it off that’s—“

He knows he’s ready. He knows it’s time to stop living in fear about what others will think of the hideous seam binding the vibranium to flesh. “No, I do. Just give me a second.”

He sits up and she shifts off of him, unsure of his next move. It takes her by surprise when he sweeps her off the ground in a single motion, carrying her to the bedroom and placing her carefully on the mattress. His hands go to either side of the hem of his shirt and he tugs it off, standing bare chested before her, his silver dog tags resting against the rise and fall of his heavy breathing.

She stares, drinking him all in. The defined muscle. The trail of dark hair leading below the waistband of his underwear. The scars from years of battling ‘the enemy.’ Then finally, his metal arm, the leather glove still secure on his left hand. Jane rises to her knees, taking both of his hands and tugging him closer to which he does not oblige.

He wants her desperately. Wants to put his mouth all over her. Wants to hear her say his name. Wants to feel every inch of her on his skin.

“May I?” she asks, glancing down, fingers ghosting his skin. He nods and suddenly she’s running her fingers over his chest and her fingers sear, burning him, making him feel more alive than he’s felt in the past 80 years.

He allows her to touch every inch of him, noting how she studies the outer workings of his arm in true Jane-fashion, and when she decides to replace her fingers with her lips instead upon reaching the seam of his shoulder and arm, he lets out a moan. James is certain this woman will be the end of him.

He loses himself in her in more than one way that night. When she takes him, he begs her to call him ‘Bucky’ because he’s tired of acting like the name of a man he never had been in the first place.

He falls asleep that night to the memory of her voice whimpering ‘Bucky,’ ‘Bucky,’ ‘Bucky’ as if it were a prayer on her lips.

There are no nightmares.

Dr. Raynor comments on his unusual openness at their next session.

She doesn’t even have to threaten him with the notebook that day.

“Vulnerability is the essence of connection and connection is the essence of existence.” - Leo Christopher

Longing.

Rusted.

Seventeen.

Daybreak.

Furnace.

Nine.

Benign.

Homecoming.

One.

Freight car.

The string of phrases are weaving their way into his skull and he’s trapped. There’s no escape from their cruel entrapment. He must obey. He was engineered to carry out the missions. No, he doesn’t want to obey. Fight back. Fighting makes it worse. Fighting means pain until he can fight no longer.

Obey. Must obey. The mission. See that it’s carried out to completion. No witnesses. No survivors.

Bucky jolts awake in her bed, beads of sweat pooling across his brow. He’s gasping for breath and everything that’s touching him only makes his heart beat faster. He yanks the blankets off of him and sinks down against the wall facing the bed, trying to take in his surroundings and focus on what’s real. Hydra can no longer control him. He is no longer their puppet.

He pulls on the dog tags around his neck, using them as something to stabilize his unstable mind. His eyes slide open and he sees her sitting up in bed, watching him silently, her brow twisted in concern.

“Just a bad dream,” he comments quietly, inhaling through his nose, pausing, and exhaling through his mouth.

She remains unmoving for a moment.

“I get them too. Sometimes it feels like the aether is still inside me. Controlling my mind. Forcing me to bend to its wishes.” He’s only heard bits and pieces of her time on Asgard, Thor and Loki’s home planet. It’s still strange to think about the life that exists beyond Earth.

He wants to tell her more about Hydra, but he doesn’t.

“Think I’m going to stay down here for a little longer. Is it weird that I find the floor softer than the bed?”

“We all have our ways of coping,” she muses with a half smile.

He wonders what hers happen to be.

They spend many nights together watching the starry sky from his apartment rooftop. Jane sits between his arms, pointing out the major constellations, sharing ancient stories of how they got their names.

Bucky listens to her words, her voice, drift through the close space they occupy. His eyes grow heavy with tiredness, his chin resting on the crown of her head.

He could listen to her talk about space until the end of time.

“Are you ever going to answer him?” Jane inquires casually, settling down beside him on the couch. She grabs a blanket and tosses it over their legs.

She doesn’t have to say his name to know whose she’s referring to. His name appears on his phone screen nearly every day. “Maybe,” he responds indifferently.

Jane gives him a look that tells him she’s not going to let this one go. “He’s clearly worried about you. How hard would it be just to update him about how things are going?”

He wants to answer with ‘nearly impossible,’ however he has a feeling she won’t drop it if he lets the words slip.

“Just think about it, okay?” Jane must have picked up on the fact it was going to be a losing battle.

He nods.

“You sent the flowers that day in the office, didn’t you?” Her breath catches sharply when he bites down on her inner thigh, then immediately tends to the bite with his lips, moving them closer and closer to his objective.

“Yes,” he reveals, that day in the office, far from what he’s currently fixated on. She whimpers his name once he finds his source.

He can’t remember the last name he’s felt this angry. Bucky paces back and forth in his apartment, trying to calm down, trying to think rationally.

She’s leaving.

She’s going back to London.

Her work in New York was only temporary and she has no choice but to go home to continue her research with her colleagues.

The time he assumed they had left together has vanished. She promises they will keep in touch. She’s only a phone call away.

It’s not the same though.

It’s not the same.

“You’ve helped, you know,” she murmurs, nestled cozily in his arms. Her fingers play with his dog tags while he stares at shadows on her ceiling bedroom, trying with all his might to will her to stay if he just never lets her out of his grasp.

His eyebrows knit together. “Helped create more problems in your life?” he teases and she retaliates by giving the dog tags a tug.

“When I came back to New York, all I wanted was to be able to talk to someone about the shit life has thrown at me. That’s part of the reason I started seeing Dr. Raynor,” she admits, nuzzling deeper into his hold. “You listened and you cared, Bucky. I don’t know what I’m going to do in London without someone who actually gets it.”

He wonders the same thing.

On the day she leaves, he finally decides to text Sam back.

She was right.

Sam was worried about him.

He chooses honesty over the typical response of ‘I’m fine’ for once.

I’ve had better days, he writes. He’ll tell Sam more about it when they see each other again.

It’s a Thursday afternoon when he sees him sitting in the chair next to her old spot.

He’s about his height (Bucky’s taller, of course). Black hair, cut close to his head. Brown eyes. And a smug smile that makes him want to punch it right off his face with his metal fist.

Sam rises from his seat and goes in for a hug. “Long time, no see, grandpa,” he jokes, pulling back and poking him in the chest.

Bucky rolls his eyes, a grin breaking across his face. “Yeah, yeah. Missed you too,” he says, pushing him away and starting toward the doors.

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do. But it might have to wait until after we take care of business,” Sam states, trailing after him.

He wants to protest. Sam’s the last one he wants to talk about the events of the past few months with, but he’s got no one else left.

Bucky figures he’ll have to settle for him.

For now.

#jane foster x bucky barnes #bucky and jane #winterphysics #james bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes #jane foster #my trashy fic #I have no good explanation #but I am pretty proud of it #both of my bbs need a hug

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guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom · 4 years ago

Text

Rebirth and Rewrites

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warning: Language, mentions of self harm, antidepressants, mentions of injuries, violence, anxiety attacks, depressing thoughts, mentions of parental neglect, self destructive behavior, mentions of weapons, mentions of bounty hunters, allusions of sex.

Word Count: 8.5k

Songs: dRuGz- Willow Smith, Money- Leikeli47, Only You (And You Alone)- The Platters, and Moonsickness- Penelope Scott.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this. Feeling like you’re disconnected from your body that is. Like in the Edge of Seventeen when Nadine says she gets this feeling like she’s looking down on herself from outside her body and she hates what she sees. That’s sort of how it felt. But this? This felt entirely different like I was in the wrong body but retained my soul, it couldn't be explained. It requires no explanation really if you understand it then great and if you don’t you don’t. ”

A/N: Sorry this took so long school got too be a bit much things are kinda slow but now they’re starting to get interesting.

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

The shampoo bottles flew wildly around the bathroom along with everything else that wasn’t bolted down. I tried my best to put everything back in place but the second I’d put one thing down another thing was moving back up towards the ceiling.

“No, no. No stop!” I spoke as if the inanimate objects would listen to me and stop moving.

Fuck. No stop. Please.

Everything was swirling in a tornado like fashion above my head. I ducked down into the bathtub and just waited because it had to stop at some point. Right?

“Y/N?” I heard Carmen call. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I don’t think I’d have been able to speak if I tried.

“Y/N open the door please” She asked softly followed by the sound of the doorknob rattling.

I didn’t hear anything else for who knows how long could’ve been a second, 30 minutes, an hour I couldn’t tell. The door was slammed open. Startling me. Everything froze in the air for a few seconds before falling.

“Are you okay?” Carmen grabbing my shoulders.

I nodded and shrugged her arms off me. Pushing myself up to stand on my legs. It was then and only then did I realize I was shaking.

I opened my mouth to speak when there was a chime almost like the sound of a microwave. It felt like my eyes had zoomed out above my body. An aerial camera view.

What I was experiencing was an out of body experience in the past. Like some Ebeneezer Scrooge type shit or a Raven Simone moment but backwards.

I was shaking my hands flexing at my sides. Except for it wasn’t me me, it was another version of me passing off as another person that I could see full body.

“Oh are you going to cry?” Heaven taunted.

I watched as I blinked tears out my eyes. Anyone else would see this as a moment of weakness. However, I know I cried when I got really angry. And I mean really angry. Like rip your heart out, chew it up and spit it out angry.

“Shut. Up.” I breathed looking down at my feet.

“And what if I don’t you wanna snitch on me? Cry?”

I knew the jist of what happened next. I was there when it actually happened. I beat her ass and got suspended. I just didn’t remember exactly how it happened or what exactly I did.

The girl was still running her mouth but I wasn’t paying attention to that. I was watching her hands and her stance. That was something Wade taught me to watch someone’s body language, that way you could know when or if they were about to swing at you.

I threw a sharp right hook knocking Precious’s head into the locker. Right as Precious was about to go for my hair I was falling.

The floor fell right from my feet and the scene that was once in front of me faded away. I wasn’t falling for long, my back slammed into the cold cement beneath me.

“I thought you were supposed to be a good guy,” I laughed “Now you’re kicking me around for no reason at all?” Wait. I remember this. Why was it happening again? Why wasn’t it in the third person like the last? This was a core memory for me. My first encounter with Spidey.

“You were stealing. It’s my job to stop crime,”

I knew exactly what to do and say. I’d have to run over this like a practiced script. I pushed myself backwards with my hands.

Oh yeah and who’s paying you to do that?

“No one, is I’m just a good person,”

“Am I not a good person?”

A cold sticky wet feeling engulfed my wrist.

“You are a criminal and deserved to face the proper punishment,”

I rolled my eyes and grunted as I tried to pull my wrist out of whatever it was holding me to the ground. I used to think the webs actually came out of him which is disgusting.

“Yeah, yeah sure can you hand me my bag so I can leave?” I teased.

“Y/N!” A random voice called out. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“What was that?” Spiderman or Peter asked. I looked around trying to locate the voice. I heard my name called again before the only thing I could hear was a loud crack.

I looked underneath me and the ground beneath my feet was split down the middle. I tried to pull my arm out of the webbing harder this time. The floor continued to split like a crack in a windshield before eventually consuming me and I was falling again.

As I was falling everything looked so beautiful. There were glowing orbs of light all around me. It was completely black except for the stars and orbs.

It was then that realized I wasn’t falling anymore. It was the opposite. I was floating or stiled in place.

I wanted to touch one of those bright spherical orbs I probably shouldn’t but I was going to do it anyway. I reached out towards it and my hand glided smoothly through the air. Or not air? This is space right? There’s no oxygen in space. Then how was I breathing?

My hands went straight through the orb leaving behind the same fire like ribbons from a few days ago and earlier today. The waves were fluid. They felt like nothing. Like a breeze maybe. Something that could possibly tickle if you endured enough of it.

A large energy surge shot out the orb knocking me back. At least 100 feet once my arm was all the way through. It didn’t hurt though it was just strong.

When I started moving back towards nothing in particular it felt like I was swimming. I began to laugh, I felt so free.

Multiple rings opened around me. I was circled with gold rings shooting off sparks. They looked like portals. To where I don’t know. There were some that looked like fiery pits of hell. Others were very colorful like a rave or rocky terrain.

There was one that was calling me for some reason. Something told me to stop resisting the pull to stay where I was but I knew I couldn't. I pushed through the air. Well I guess I pulled myself towards it instead of pushed. I slid through like a knife through butter.

The first thing I felt was the coolness of the porcelain bathtub on my back. My head felt as if it was expanding inside my skull.

I stepped in between all the shampoo bottles and hygiene products on the floor making my way out of the bathroom. I entered the living room not prepared to see Tony and Peter sitting there on the couch with some person I’d never seen. Who looked straight out of a Men in Black movie.

“Oh shit.” I turned to Carmen grabbing her arm and dragging her down the hal l“What the fuck did you do?”

“Where were you?” She answered my question with her own. Well two can play that game. And I believe I asked first.

“What’d you do? Why'd you call them? Or if you didn't, why are they here? It was just a few bottles, I had it under control,”

“I was freaking out that’s why! Where the hell were you?”

“What are you talking about? I was in the bathroom. You saw me,”

“You’ve been gone for 7 hours Y/N!”

“What?” I shook my head. “No. What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been gone for 7 hours and your eyes are glowing. What the hell is going on with you?”

I pulled out my phone opening it to the camera app and my eyes were in fact glowing. I blinked very hard multiple times. Shaking my head until it cleared. What the fuck is happening.

I sent Peter, Tony, and the Agent J wannabe on their way with a few lies to clear the air. I’m sure Tony would want to play more of his mad scientist game on me but that’s a problem for another day. I was just going to read my book until I fell asleep. Last interaction I had with another human that day was Carmen patting my shoulder and saying “Welcome to the world of mutants, girl. Buckle up it’s a bumpy ride.” before walking away.

I swear to whatever’s out there that I’m losing my mind. Like full on shave your head and move to New Mexico crazy. I’d open that can of worms later.

“I don’t think I can love myself without sexualizing myself is that bad?” I asked, applying my lipgloss.

“I don’t necessarily think so, it’s common but if it gets out of hand, it can create lots of other problems,” MJ gave her input.

“Oh I definitely know all about the problems it can cause I just can’t stop, ”

Carmen strolled into the bathroom.

“Where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“You know the,” She did a hand movement that I somehow understood. It wasn’t even remotely connected to what she was trying to convey either.

“Oh! The face paint. It’s under the cabinet by Salem’s food bowls,”

“What?” MJ questioned. “How did you get face paint from that?”

I just shrugged.

“I don’t know. We’re like connected or some shit,”

I sat on the couch, Halloween playing on the TV but no one was paying attention. We were all on our phones.

“Alright,” I sighed, pushing up from the couch. “I should be done at like 9 so that gives us like 11 to get there,”

I promised my sisters I’d take them trick-or-treating. It’s been like this forever and I wasn’t going to back out now. Sapphire was actually dressed as Spiderman and for some reason I couldn’t tell if that made me wanna laugh or cry. Didn’t even know they made costumes for that guess that whole being sponsored by Tony thing was coming in clutch.

I don’t know how it works anywhere else but in New York you gotta go trick-or-treating on the street. Everything is private property and you can’t just get buzzed in just for candy so you go in publicly owned places.

“This is the last store for tonight, I gotta get back” I informed them.

Sapphire whined and I wrapped my arm around her pulling her into my side.

“Cmon’ little superhero,”

I stepped off to the side towards Aaliyah.

“For your sake I would not let her eat much candy if any tonight,”

An half hour later and I was back at Carmen’s house. I really need to find somewhere else to stay. It's been too long here.

After what felt like a million hours Harry finally showed up.

“I’m driving,” I claimed moving towards the apartment door.

“No you're not,” He stated.

“Oh really? Then why do I have the keys.” I lifted the keyring rattling it around.

He let out an aspirated sigh. I could tell he wasn’t going to fight me on this. I'm sure he was just confused on how I even got them.

Now there were two reasons I was driving. One because I had to make a detour and two I didn’t want to sit in Harry’s backseat because God knows what has happened back there.

Back to the detour. It was Peter’s apartment complex. I'm surprised he agreed to come. had just brought it up to be polite. It was well known that parties weren’t really his scene.

Harry held his hand out, palm facing up. There lied about seven bars. I’m honestly surprised he was sharing willingly. That was new.

Bri and Carmen as well as myself had no qualms about popping the xans. MJ didn't take any, just shook her head when offered, which I’m glad she’s too smart for drugs. So is Peter which is exactly why I pushed Harry’s hand away. Giving him a look daring him to even think about offering anything to him.

Everyone had split up Carmen with MJ. Bri to honestly I don’t know where and Harry to I don’t think I want to know where. And Peter? He’s with me of course, couldn’t leave him by himself.

“Where’s Ned I haven’t seen him in a while,” I decided to speak because I couldn’t stand the awkward silence in this bedroom I’d somehow backed myself into.

“He said he’s been to one party this and that fits his quota for the year,”

“Well I would’ve thought Liz’s thing met your quota too but here we are,” I could feel my brain slowing down and smiled slightly. Then I noticed how far away Peter was on the bed.

“You can get closer, I won’t bite,” I hummed. “Unless you want me to of course,”

“What!?” He almost shouted.

“I’m kidding dude, calm down,” I laughed. The room fell into silence again save for the sound of the music vibrating throughout the house. I miss real house parties. But oh well this party where I wasn’t actually doing anything would have to do.

“Just realized I never asked. What are you dressed as?”

“Han Solo,” He replied as if I was supposed to know who that was.

“Who?” I scrunched up my eyebrows.

“You don’t know Han Solo?”

I shook my head. I’m sure it looked a lot sloppier than I meant for it to be I just couldn’t really move my head

“From Star Wars?” He tried again.

“The only people I know from Star Wars are Princess Lelia, Luke Skywalker and that one robot motherfucker.”

It was hard not to smile as Peter rambled on about the Saga. I wasn’t really paying attention but he looked adorable. I was just staring at him and I’m sure if Harry or Carmen were here they’d tell me I looked like the embodiment of the heart eye emoji. It’s not like I liked him or anything he was just cute.

That was until my burner vibrated against my lower leg. I used my arms to push myself up, excusing myself to take the call.

“What’s up?” I asked.

Wade’s voice boomed from the phone.

“I know a guy that knows a guy who knows-“ He cut himself for the reason I could only assume was because of the crashing noise coming from inside the house.

“Are you at a party?”

“No,” I lied for no reason he wouldn’t care if I was.

“I’m not stupid just call me back when you’re not flirting with some fuckboy or high,” He choose to emphasize the last word.

“I’m not high,” I’m not sure who exactly I was trying to convince.

“You’re literally slurring right now. Don’t drink and drive kid,”

“What?” I laughed at his attempt at a lecture or a safety tip whatever that was.

“Don’t laugh, I'm trying to be a responsible adult. I think it’s about time.”

I couldn’t remember when or how I got back inside but here I was surrounded by people with music bouncing off the wall fading in and out of consciousness and I had never felt more alone. It was kinda pathetic.

“I’ve never understood that calling people daddy shit it’s fucking weird-“ I cut my rambling off pushing my face against the car window enjoying its coolness. “English is the most unattractive language, like it’s so tame and dull and…” I trailed off letting my head fall back down as I lost control over my neck muscles for a second.

“It’s just like- I just wanna be able to say-“ I sighed before starting up again “Vous avez l'air très attirant ce soir. Les choses que je te laisserais me faire,”

I looked away and everyone besides MJ was looking at me with wide eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was because she was driving or the fact I knew she spoke French.

I realized it was definitely the latter when she spoke back in the same language.

“Was that directed as a general thing or at Peter?”

Thank God no one else understood us. I mean it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal I’d just have to endure a bit of teasing but it’s better to avoid the headache.

“So are you going to let us in on your conversation or…” Harry questioned.

“Shut up,” I spoke to both Harry and MJ. “Drop Peter off first,” That was the last thing I muttered before falling deep into the vast clusterfuck of a land that is my subconscious.

When I woke up I was on Carmen’s couch with a blanket draped over my waist. I clumsily reached for my phone just texting the last person I texted. To stimulate my mind.

you: hi are you awake

I couldn’t help but laugh at how much this seemed like a u up? text but this was in a completely different context.

It took a minute but he responded.

p😜🤚: yeah are you okay?

you: im fine just bored

p😜🤚: oh

p 😜🤚: well we can talk if you want too

I couldn’t help but smile. Ugh what’s wrong with me. I knew better than to ask this because I wasn’t trying to catch feelings anytime soon but my dumbass did it anyway.

you: can we ft

p: sure

He apparently did see the cuts on my leg that one time because he just asked me about it. To which I denied, denied, denied. Salem did it and that’s final. I only did it once anyway so who gives a fuck I’d gotten the urge to do it under control. Like I’d heard somewhere before there’s a difference between thinking about hurting yourself and wanting to hurt yourself.

“You’re sure you’re okay though?” He asked one last time and I nodded my head. “Okay because I know all these changes in your body can be-“

“Changes?” I interrupted “Why are you making it sound like puberty,” l laughed. I wish I could convince myself whatever these mutations were are just puberty.

“You know what I mean!” He let out a small laugh.

“Okay but puberty is really weird, why do humans need so much sweat,” I attempted to shift the conversation onto something that wasn’t my physical and mental wellbeing.

Either Peter could tell I wasn’t going to give him shit or I really was just the master of getting out of things but it worked. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up he was still on the phone.

“So you’re sending me to bounty hunt a bounty hunter who’s bounty hunting Mr. America?”

“Exactly,”

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard all day,”

“Hey you asked me to help you be grateful you little asshole,” Wade teased.

“Fuck you,” I laughed. “How long do I have?”

“Two weeks top.”

I hummed before hanging up.

Now the question was to do this alone or to bring someone else. I definitely haven’t been in the most stable of headspaces lately. There could be up to 4 Avengers and 1 bounty hunter. I’d have to be smart about this. I can’t believe that I’m about to say this but I need a plan.

-Step one: Find Carmen and make her make a plan.-

Step one: Convince Tony to let me go on a solo mission. Giving me a reason to dip while having a whole buncha cool technological weapons at my disposal.

Step two: Disable the tracking in the weapons provided.

Step three: Get a car.

Step four: Follow bounty guy to wherever they’re going.

Step five: Take out the bounty guy.

Step six: Talk to Captain America.

Step seven: Find Thor from Captain America.

First I’d have to get out of detention. I would’ve been fine with detention if I had my phone. I don’t even know why I’m in here actually. I hadn’t gotten in trouble in a while. I was confused until Tony strolled into the room. Why couldn’t he meet anyone in a normal location just once. He always had to fucking abmush people.

I had to hold back from rolling my eyes.

“Yes?” I asked.

“You said you were up for a solo op right?”

I nodded skeptically.

“Well I have one for you next Friday,”

“Go on,” I moved my arms under my torso to rest under my chin.

It was just a simple drug bust in and out. He must’ve been really bored to go out of his way to try and stop something as miniscule as this. Probably didn’t think it through when he signed those accords. Now he literally can’t do anything without the whole world jumping his dick. For now he’s living vicariously through Peter and I’m assuming.

A simple drug bust isn’t something you really need to get ready for. Trying to find and possibly have to fight one Avenger let alone possibly 4 is something you have to be more than ready for. In every way possible. Including mentally.

“I think I want to go back on antidepressants,” I blurted, plopping back down on the couch with a bag of chips.

“You’re being serious?” Carmen asked, pausing the TV.

“Yeah I mean what’s so surprising about that?” I unpaused it.

She paused it again turning towards me.

“Why? What happened you said you hated all the side effects and would never take them again,”

“Guess I changed my mind,” I shrugged “I just told you cause I know you know how to get them ‘s all,”

“Okay.” She nodded and I could almost see her brain working behind her eyes.

One thing about long term friends is they know when you don’t want to talk about something and they also know when they need to drop it. In the click of a few buttons on a keyboard I had an appointment with a psychiatrist. The fact she knew my insurance information is kinda scary though. Apparently I passed the test to get crazy people's medicine with flying colors.

I was in Queens for many reasons, one of them being I wanted to spar with Felicia. She is not a sparring person she likes to fight but only when she has to, but I was able to convince her. It didn’t take much actually. She owes me after all 3:1.

She was sorta similar to Black Widow in fight styles and she was hard to beat. With Captain America it’s easy, his fighting style is easy to evade, if I just avoid the shield and go for his legs I’d be good. Spiderman doesnt shield his left side when he goes to hit you and relies on his webs too much. Wanda she- I don’t know what she does actually but if I can get her to physically fight me instead of using powers I could easily take her down. That Falcon guy uses his legs a lot so aim for the wings.

But Black Widow was agile. The strongest of them all because she doesn’t use strength you can tell from the videos I’d been analyzing she movies like a ballerina. Her fighting style is to not have one at all.

I mean it was scary how similar she and Felicia were; they even both have Black in their name and suits. Despite neither of them being back which is funny.

I was laid out on the panting. I rolled over onto my stomach grunting as I reached for my knife. I wasn’t done at least not yet.

I slung my arm towards her and this time she didn’t catch it. I barely grazed her but it was enough to catch her off guard. I was able to get her pinned to the ground for like 15 seconds.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” I laughed.

“You could never,” Honestly I’m starting to believe that. Even when Olivia and I broke up she never got hostile towards me or anything. And her being hostile towards me is not something I’d enjoy.

I’d have to be the clumsiest “agile” person I’d ever met. I fell walking down the steps to get back outside. I rolled and landed on my ankle but I’m sure it’d be fine. It only caused a slight discomfort when I put pressure on it. I’m just glad I could walk like this without having Felicia on my ass about it.

I was already in the area so I decided to stop by Peters house just to see if he was home. Okay in all honesty, I wasn’t really in the area Felicia lives in an entirely different part of Queens. But he said I could stop by whenever and I’d like to say I’m a literal person.

I winced when I put my foot all the way back down on the ground but I didn’t want to be interrogated. Peter does not know when to drop things.

“Hey,” I spoke once he opened the door.

“Hey?” He asked more than said as if he was surprised I was here.

He just stood there staring for a few seconds too long.

“So can I come in? Or...” I tilted my head.

“Oh,” He shook his head slightly as if shaking out his thoughts.

“Oh, yeah come in,” He stepped out of the way.

We both sat with our legs facing each other on his bottom bunk. Suddenly I became aware.

Aware of the way I could feel all the fibers in the polyester blanket I sat on.

Aware of each sound around me, the slight wind just outside the window, the faint TV show I could hear from the apartment on the floor above, the air conditioning rattling.

Aware of how I didn’t remember who I’d been or how where or why.

Aware of how I had a purpose, how I should look to the sky for answers and when I could not look to the light I must look into our heart. The one collective heart we share. But I could not remember who we were. I wasn’t meant to remember who we were or what we were.

I wasn’t supposed to remember not yet. Not now. But soon or maybe never. They'll never take my power, even if I didn’t understand it yet. It was mine and mine to keep.

Aware of the faint whisper of my name rang through the air.

I didn’t appreciate the headache and tightness in my chest this awareness or insanity brought me. I needed a distraction. Not sure why this was the first thing that popped into my head but it was.

“Your suit can record things right?”

“Yeah why?”

“Does it record everything it’s around?”

The whispering only got closer and closer. My name being called out with a sense of urgency and grief. I couldn’t see. There was a difference between adrenaline and anxiety and this wasn’t the later. Something was seriously wrong and I had no idea what to do about it. Finally the voice got so loud it could not be ignored.

“Y/N!” I snapped my eyes up and tried to calm my breathing.

“What?” I asked with more hostility than I intended.

“It’s just you zoned out and started muttering something. It freaked me out,”

I had to hold back from showing my confusion on my face.

“Sorry,” I murmured sheepishly. I don’t know why I felt the need to apologize. It's like I was a walking ball of grief, guilt, and shame but it wasn’t my own.

I’m not sure how long we sat there in silence before I felt the impending urge to escape but as soon as I put pressure on my foot the shock of the pain shooting to my leg wasn’t able to be concealed. I winced quietly but I know he heard me.

In two seconds flat he was pestering me trying to figure out what was wrong. I ignored him and suddenly the fraying on the shoelaces of my combat boots was extremely interesting to me.

“It’s nothing Peter, drop it,” I walked towards his closet.

“It’s not nothing,” He sighed moving towards me. “Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”

Because if I told you then you’d tell Tony and I’d get taken off the solo op.

I just looked up at the ceiling and decided to change the topic with something I knew would get the target off of my back.

“Why’d you never get me arrested?”

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows scrunching up his face.

“All the times you came after me as Thorn. You always let me get away, why?”

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t see you get arrested I guess.”

I hummed to his answer letting my hands roam through his closet. I picked up a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants.

“When’d you get these?” I asked.

He snatched them from my hands.

“Haha go ahead and make fun of me for them. Mr. Stark gave them to me.”

I simply smiled.

”I was just going to say they were very cute actually ’m sure you looked adorable, but okay,”

I glanced back at him and his face had a light pink glow.

“You’re blushing!” I pointed out laughing.

“Am not,” He lied.

“Are too. I can tell you aren’t used to getting compliments,” I smiled. “That’s too bad though you deserve plenty of compliments,” I looked back up at the ceiling and noticed an attic or trap door. I hopped up a bit and his suit fell down as I hit the door.

“How does everyone keep finding that?” I heard him ask.

“It’s a very you place to put it that’s why,” I mindlessly answered back.

“You heard me?”

That’s snapped me out of whatever trance I was in.

“What? Was I not supposed to?” As soon as the sentence left my mouth I heard a scream.

“Somethings wrong,” Peter announced. So he heard it too?

I felt drawn to it. Like I knew them or something.

“Uh…” I stalled “I have to go. Sorry,”

“Okay text me when you get back home,” He rushed out since I’d moved away so quickly.

I was sure I was limping but the pain wasn’t as prevalent in my mind as the screaming was. I followed it as if it was a compass. I followed it to the middle of nowhere. It was just dry grass and about three trees caged by chain link fences and abandoned buildings.

Whatever came over me faded as soon stepped off the sidewalk. The screaming subsided into nothing and it was like a tight grip around my chest slipping away. I’m really losing my mind oh my god.

I couldn’t sleep. I sat in the bathtub all night focusing. I found when I focused hard enough I could move some of the things. It isn’t so much about imagining where you want something to go it was about believing it was already there. It hurt my head to do it though. I only moved about three things 4 inches.

It was a possibility that I was going through a psychotic break or I could’ve really been moving things with my mind because of whatever radiation was in my body. A few days ago I apparently disappeared after there was a tornado of shampoo bottles flying around. Maybe I did that subconsciously somehow.

I mean gamma rays literally invented the Hulk wherever he was. Who knows what they were doing to me.

I eventually fell asleep halfway on and halfway off the couch. How I even got there in the first place I wasn’t sure. I upped the times I needed to go to the gym a day to 3 times. That would’ve been fine. I didn’t have like 50 missing assignments to turn in before the end of the semester. Which is in 2 weeks.

It didn’t help that I felt like something bad was about to happen. Don’t know what but I feel it coming. I hummed to myself. Okay now back on track. It comes in handy to have smart friends, especially ones willing to help you get your work done.

“Why are we at the park?” Peter asked as I tucked my legs back to swing even higher.

“Because if you do work in an unusual place you get it done faster.”

“I’m not sure that’s tr-“

“It is true don’t question me,”

“We're not even doing any work right now,” He pointed out.

“If you swing higher than me we can start.” I knew he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge.

“Oh, you’re on,” He replied, putting both his hands on the swing’s chains.

He didn’t beat me. I let him win because I got tired.

“Yeah right,” He laughed.

“I did! You wouldn’t of won if I didn’t stop, I let you win out of pity”

I actually managed to get 3 whole assignments done. School can be kinda fun when you have a teacher who doesn’t try to make you feel stupid. It’s way easier when you have the energy to try at all.

You never realize how much walking you do in a day or how excruciating exercising is until your leg hurts. I was going to let it stop me though. There’s a reason people say walk it off to injuries.

The entire structure of my plan had failed. Somehow, someone probably Peter, told Tony that I got hurt and I got taken off the solo op.

After 30 minutes of me being annoying as fuck I got put back on. Only problem now was Peter was coming as a safety precaution.

Step 8: Figure out how to ditch Peter.

Fuck my life. Although everything else was falling apart I’d manage to get 40% of my assignment turned in.

Friday came in a blink of an eye. I’d be the bait and Peter would just be the lookout. I wasn’t planning on going through with whatever I was supposed to be doing here. I just needed to disable the tracker in my communicator. I guess I was thinking straight because I didn’t hear or even see the guy move behind Peter. Not until I heard him call out.

“It’s a set up!”

There was one thing I didn’t have to think about and that was running. It was my expert tactic. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to leave Peter. He might think he can take care of himself but he was too naive for his own good.

“Wait!” He called out and I stopped behind an empty building.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Yeah but why-“

I interrupted him.

“I need to do something really important and Tony can’t know about it,”

“Now you can go back but you can’t say a single thing about this to him. Just say the mission went wrong and I decided it was safer to ditch or something.”

I could see the conflict in his eyes.

“No,”

Fuck. I felt my burner vibrate in my pocket. It was probably Carmen asking where I was.

“No?”

“Yeah cause I’m coming with you,”

“I can’t ask you do to that,”

“I know but I’m coming or I’ll tell Mr. Stark,”

I knew he probably wouldn’t but I couldn’t risk the slim chance that he would.

“Fine…” I breathed out. I didn’t have anytime to argue I’d just ditch him somewhere.

I saw him quietly cheer. Clearly not understanding the severity of the situation. This wasn't some Vulture thing, this was very highly trained individuals.

I dialed Carmen again.

“Hey… So we’ve got a plus one,”

“What?”

“You’ll see,”

We were in the car for 12 fucking hours and we still weren’t there. I never realized how much Peter talked until now. We had no form of entertainment besides the radio. Carmen pulled over at a gas station so we could switch off and partially because Peter said he had to use the bathroom.

While he was still inside Carmen spoke up for the first time in what felt like weeks.

“Why’d you bring Golden boy along?”

“Cause I didn't want him to get shot,”

“Yeah I understand that part. Why didn’t you just like knock him out and dip,”

“What why the fuck would I do that,”

“You would’ve done it to anyone else. You’re getting all soft,” She poked my side and I flipped her off.

“How’s that for soft?” As soon as the sentence came out of my mouth I heard the click of the door opening and it startled me a lot more than it should’ve.

The rest of the ride was silent save from Peter asking home much longer we had to go before falling asleep. It was about 12 pm by the time we got there. After shaking both Carmen and Peter awake I headed up to knock on the door.

A girl who looked about Aaliya’s age answered the door.

I smiled at her.

“Is your dad here I have to ask him something,”

Now I knew for a fact he was here he was on house arrest. I was looking through the videos Peter’s suit had recorded and I found this giant guy at some airport in Germany who I was able to trace back to Scott Lang.

That one guy who transferred all that money out of Vistacorp back to its consumers. It was pretty badass as far as nonviolent crimes go.

I could see her playing my question over in her head deciding if she’d have to lie or not. I’m assuming she saw something somewhat trustworthy in me because I was sitting in his house on his couch. Trying to convince him to help me.

“So let me get this straight. You have telekinetic and fire powers and had a dream that you believe is prophetic and you need me to tell you where Captain America is?”

“Pretty much yeah,”

“Okay uh wow,” He claimed standing up. I could tell he believed me. There wasn't a hint of distrust in his eyes. Which is good because I wasn’t lying.

“I want to help you, I do. But-“

“You don’t know where he is do you?”

“No not exactly. I do have something though.” He replied standing up off the couch “Hold on let me get it,” He went rummaging around his house because coming back about a minute later.

“No luck?” Carmen asked as she read my facial expression.

I shook my head.

“All he gave me was this,” I held up the plastic plaque.

“What are we even looking for anyway,” Peter asked.

I could see Carmen shaking her head signaling me not to tell him. I didn’t. He’d find out sooner or later. I think we were too far from home to ditch him now.

“So are we paying or are we saving the cash?” Carmen asked.

“We can just save it probably let me go check,”

The hotel was empty for the most part. Multiple rooms to choose from. It was always easier to make a get away if needed from the bottom floor and I chose to break into the one closest to the exit.

“I call showering first,” Carmen spoke.

I just waved her off plopping onto one of the Queen beds placed next to the air conditioner. Peter was just standing in the corner like he was nervous or something.

“First “road trip” or something?” I teased.

“Kinda…” He trailed off as something caught his attention. “Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going,”

Might as well.

“To find Captain America,”

He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Wait you’re being serious?”

“As a heart attack,”

“I don’t think he likes me,” He looked down as he fidgeted with his hands. “I kinda stole his shield,”

“So I’ve heard,” I giggled.

I checked the communicator and the bounty hunter we were supposed to be hunting down was still in the same place. This could mean 1 of many things, either the tracker on them is broken or has been found, they found him already, or the whole communicator was broken.

“Alright I’m done,” Carmen emerged from the bathroom.

Peter being nice like he always is let me go next. Sometimes it concerns me how nice he is. Like he was planning something just like Canadians they all seem so nice but they’re just as racist as everyone else. But now I’m starting to believe he's just genuinely that good of a person.

Which is refreshing. You don’t see too many good people nowadays. However the better of a person you are the more room you have to taint. And I knew for a fact I wouldn’t allow myself to be one of those people who did it.

You know when you’re dreaming and there’s something or someone chasing you and you try to run but you never can. I would say that’s me, my entire essence. I’d been trying to out run my demons for so long never realizing that my only demon was myself. And no matter how bad I wanted to, I couldn’t outrun myself. Trust me I’ve tried.

I couldn’t outrun the sudden ache moving throughout my body. I could always feel an anxiety attack right before it happened but remained powerless to stop it most of the time.

Streams of water ran over my body mixing with the warm tears that ran down my face. I’m sure the water pressure overpowered my sobs from outside of the room but that didn’t mean I couldn’t hear the pathetic sounds.

After my breathing went back to normal I stood in the mirror detangling my hair staring at each mark on my body. Whether it be a tattoo or scar or a mole I looked. I reminisced about the stories behind them, some a lot sadder than the rest. But somehow the marks I couldn’t remember were the saddest of them all.

It hurt to want to go back to life before everything went… just wrong, when you couldn’t even remember what it was like before then.

It’s like I was numb before and crying felt good. Well it didn’t feel good but you know what I mean. It just felt good to know I could still feel.

I heard a knock at the door shaking myself out of my spiraling thoughts. I sniffled, wiping my nose, before tightening my towel around my waist and opening the door.

The first thing that hit me was the cool breeze of the hotel air conditioning contrasting against my warm skin. The second was Peter looking confused as ever holding some form of cloth in his hands.

“Oh I’m sorry, was I taking too long?” I looked back towards my clothes sitting on the counter grabbing them as if I was about to exit but in reality I still had no clothes on underneath this towel. “You can go hold on,”

“No! Uh…”

“No what?” I smiled.

“I came to bring...” He waved around what I could now see was a shirt.

I simply raised my eyebrows at him suspiciously.

“Here,” He thrusted the shirt into my hands.

I looked down at the article of clothing in confusion.

“Thanks?”

“I know you left it out here so…” He awkwardly clamped his hands together.

“Thank you,” I replied, slowly shutting the door so he knew he could back off. For some reason I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Smiles never lasted long for me. Something weird just always manages to happen every time I’m even remotely happy.

I was in some form of a prison or detainment facility. There was thick glass everywhere so I’m assuming it was high security. I had the plaque from earlier today in my hand except it wasn’t my hand. Unless I have magically turned white, it was someone else.

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this. Feeling like you’re disconnected from your body that is. Like in the Edge of Seventeen when Nadine says she gets this feeling like she’s looking down on herself from outside her body and she hates what she sees. That’s sort of how it felt.

But this? This felt entirely different like I was in the wrong body but retained my soul, it couldn't be explained. It requires no explanation really if you understand it then great and if you don’t you don’t.

The plaque had a seam that I hadn’t noticed before and it was hollow inside. I clutched in my right hand and kept walking.

As soon as I entered a large room extending from the hall. That all too familiar siren sound played through my ears as a bright light stunted my vision.

I was brought back to my body. Well I guess I just woke up because now I was all sweaty and sitting straight up on the bed like an idiot.

I made my way to the bathroom and the light made me realize my eyes were glowing and so were my veins. I just blinked it out like I was trying to put contacts in and washed my face.

Seriously what was happening to me I don’t want to end up like Hulk or Wanda and have everyone scared of me. But whatever this is couldn’t be controlled or understood.

I woke the others up, as I was trying to figure out how to open the plaque I heard Carmen hiss loudly.

“Why’s the doorknob so hot?” She turned to me “Did you do this?”

“No? How would I do that?” Maybe I did do it. I did lose my train of thought when I went to open the door.

Still doesn’t explain the heat part, maybe it had something to do with the fire thing from Staten Island but I hadn’t done that again since that night. I was honestly starting to believe I made it up.

I reached for a napkin to wipe the syrup off my hands. It was Carmen’s brilliant idea to stop at a Waffle House. All the time we spent here could’ve been used doing something actually productive.

“So why are you trying to open that?” Peter asked, sliding closer to where I had the plaque laid out on the table. He asks too many questions. I didn’t wanna respond but I didn’t wanna be mean.

“Because,” I grunted as I struggled to pull apart the top and bottom. “I had a dream that there was something inside and now I wanna see if that’s true,”

“A dream?” He questioned.

“Yeah a dream,”

“Who was in it?”

“No one was in it,” I started to get annoyed for absolutely no reason. “Just finished your food,” I pointed at his plate.

“Fine…” He slid back over.

I hit the seam of the plaque against the edge of the table and the bottom popped up. I let out a silent cheer and caught the attention of Carmen.

“What?”

I flipped the opening over my palm and a rolled up piece of paper came out.

“Look what I found,”

“A clue,” Peter spoke.

“It’s not a clue this isn’t some TV adventure it’s just evidence,” Carmen spat.

I unraveled it revealing a bunch of numbers. I think it’s either a phone number or coordinates. It wasn’t a phone number. I called it and some random Canadian person picked up. So the next option was coordinates.

“Are we sure this is the right place?” Carmen asked. Looking at the stranded house sitting some way down the street.

“If it’s not then oh well,” I shrugged, unhooking my seat belt.

I leaned down to the slightly cracked passenger window.

“Do not get out of this car.” I spat through my teeth. Neither of them knew how to listen and I had to let them know I meant business.

I started towards the house, the gravel crunching under my feet before I turned back again.

“I mean it!” I called out before sprinting back into the house.

The door creaked open as I pushed it open and I turned back to keep it from closing. The second I did it I knew it was the wrong decision to make. Literally anyone who knew anything about anything knew to not turn their back on unknown territory.

I was being restrained by some invisible force that wasn’t invisible for long. There were scarlet or crimson waves making my tingle.

It was more of a tickling feeling than a burning one. That feeling faded into another soon. I clamped my eyes shut, it felt like someone was using my head as a bowl using a spoon to try to scrape my brains out.

I ended up overpowering whatever force was holding down my arms to hold my head. It was excruciating putting my hand there only made it worse. As soon as I made contact with the skin that loud siren noise like nails on a chalkboard racking through my brain caused me to double over in pain. I saw two legs above me and I heard someone’s voice saying.

“Wanda? What’s going on out there?”

My vision blurred as I tried to swat at who was allegedly Wanda Maximoff the telekinetic girls legs. The one person I didn’t want to run into was over here melting my brain. I pushed myself up. I think I couldn’t really feel my muscles. I know for a fact my back hit something or maybe something hit my back.

I heard more footsteps nearby and hushed whispers followed by a who are you and what do you want. I probably would’ve answered if I could but I don’t think I had the current ability to form a coherent sentence.

“She doesn’t look like one of theirs. How do we know she’s here to hurt us?” I heard someone say.

“I don’t know I can’t read her,” A voice I hadn’t heard before spoke.

“What’s that mean?”

I was stuck in place again. I couldn’t really see and I could feel anything but the tearing of my brain in half and the presence of another body in the room. My eyes were closed but I felt them get closer to me. Too close for my liking. My eyes shot open as soon as I heard.

“Y/N?”

I tried my best to lift my head to meet the redhead's eyes.

“You know her Romanoff?” I heard the first guy from before speak.

“Sort off?” She shrugged and reached out to pull me up to a sitting position. I let her.

Romanoff. This was Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow. She was here with Wanda along with who was most likely Captain America and she knew my name.

“How-“ I swallowed some of my spit because of how dry my throat is. “How do you know my name?”

She answered my question with a question of her own.

“How’d you find this place? Most importantly why?”

“I asked you first,” I narrowed my eyes.

She had the audacity to chuckle at my statement.

I glared at her which turned into some sort of staring contest until it was interrupted by some wannabe comedian.

“Are we interrupting some family reunion here or…”

I flipped off the general direction of the voice off on instinct.

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thesmalltowngal · 5 years ago

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Snowbaz 29- Some-bud-y to Love Ch. 2

OTP Prompt #29: Penny asks Simon about the discarded flower arrangement in his trash bin.

~ This one was stressful to write. If you haven’t checked out the first chapter, click the link below. I’m so glad it was requested that I do another chapter of this story! Enjoy! ~

First Chapter

“Oh, these are lovely, Simon. Why did you throw them away? Did Agatha get them for you?” Penny picked up Baz’s (evil) flower arrangement, trying to smooth out the crumpled petals. I still wasn’t sure what was wrong with them, so I had earlier thrown them in the rubbish bin. (I didn’t remember bloody gloves, so I could have very well been poisoned. But m’feeling fine, so far.)

I wrinkle my nose. “Agatha? Why would you think those are from Agatha?” They’re obviously flowers bourne from bad intentions- I would think someone as skilled as Pen would immediately recognize that. (How they’re bad, m’still figuring out.)

“Well because of the arrangement, of course-”

“Oh Pen, I should’ve said- probably not best to touch those,” She drops them in a haste, but continues scrutinizing the flowers, which look wilted and sad. “They’re from Baz. What were you saying?” A puzzled look crosses her face, and it’s a few moments before she talks again.

“Why would… why did Baz give you these?” She asks it softly like maybe she’s afraid of the answer. (She has a bloody right to be, too, knowing him.) I just roll my eyes and look up to the ceiling.

“Because he’s evil, Pen. It’s obviously some sort of… message, I s’pose. I dunno!” I throw my arms up in the air and think for a moment. (Baz would laugh at me saying that I thought. With my brain.) “So, why did you think they came from Aggie?” I look up at her and she flushes a deep shade of scarlet.

“Well you know how we’ve been studying flowers in Magicks?” Ah, yes. The one class I either am caught daydreaming or sleeping in all the time. Something tells me I should’ve paid more attention. Maybe then I would be able to tell what evil message the tosser was trying to tell me.

“Yeah?”

“Well, these flowers - the red Carnations, Hydrangeas, Lilacs, etc - well I mean to say that they all have the same general message. Well, they’re of course loose definitions, but-”

“Oh for Crowley’s sake Pen, what do they mean?”

She sighs and twirls her gaudy purple ring ‘round her finger. “They all tend to mean love. And when a person gives them to another person, it typically means that they-”

“Well maybe Baz wasn’t paying attention in class; didn’t know what he was giving me?” I feel myself getting worked up in a strop. My magic was on edge from my interaction with Baz earlier anyway (the way he looked so genuinely upset when I looked disgusted by the flowers. Bugger it), and now it’s threatening to spill over. I see Penny assess the situation in her head, and she ends up just agreeing with me. (I dunno what I wanted- but I don’t think it was that.)

She nods her head and looks away. “Yeah, Si. It’s probably just that.” But we both know that’s not true. Even in the classes he doesn’t like, I’ve never known Baz to not pay attention and ace everything. He’s a right prat, trying to get top of everything. (And actually doing it, too.) Top marks in his classes, fluent in at least three languages, and ace on the pitch. (And don’t even get me started on the way this bloody git looks. He’s too fit for a bloke; s’pose it’s the vampire thing.)

…

Later, when Penny’s left and Baz still isn’t back to our room, I can’t stop staring at the bloody flowers in my rubbish bin. I walk over and take them out, sitting down at my desk to examine them. They really don’t seem all too harmful. They’re flowers for Merlin’s sake. And now that I look on it, they’re very pretty flowers, as well. I never did peg myself for a bloke who liked flowers, but, well. Baz arranged them nicely. (I still can’t wrap my head around that. That Baz arranged them. The Baz arranged them and they mean love. That Baz could… maybe he does…)

But whatever Baz may or may not feel, I know I need to confront him. Ask him what the flowers were really for. So before I can lose the balls to do it, I grab the flowers (why taking them seem necessary, m’not sure) and head out the door to the catacombs. I realize halfway through campus that I probably look like I’m on my way to woo someone, what with my flowers and determination. (I’m not sure I’m not.)

I’m not looking where I’m going (I could get to the catacombs with my eyes closed, now), and so imagine my surprise when I run head on into a fit bloke. In the moonlight, I can see that it’s the bloody devil himself. He looks frazzled and tired, and the moonlight shining on his face as he sneers at me only makes it more infuriating.

“Watch where you’re going, Sn-” He cuts himself off when he looks at the sad arrangement of flowers in my arms. He looks like he might want to say something, but then he just walks past me and starts his way back to Mummers. But before he can get too far, I reach out and grab his arm, snapping him back to face me.

“Basilton, fucks’ sake, wait,” He turns and looks expectantly at me, one eyebrow raised. I realize with a start that I’m still holding onto his arm, so I let go, flustered.

“Well? What is it, Snow?” He barks out. I take a few deep breaths, and thank Crowley that he’s being patient and letting me. (I still don’t really know what I’m to say. I hadn’t thought that far ahead…)

“I just, um- I was wondering, y’know… I know earlier that I, erm- I dismissed you,” He’s suddenly looking anywhere but at me, which must be hard since we’re fairly close to each other. “And, well. I wanted to know, because you never really told me what they meant-” I tug frustratedly at my curls. “Damnit. Just- why did you give me those flowers? What’re they s’posed to mean?”

He looks at me then, eyes filled with an emotion I can’t quite place. I know him well enough to know that he’s debating with himself over something in his head. P’raps whether or not to tell me the truth. (Please tell me the truth, I silently plead.)

He looks exhausted when he runs a hand through his hair (which is unslicked- I love it when it’s like this) and says, “Do you want the truth, Snow?” Do I? I wasn’t expecting him to be so upfront so easily. Will the truth set me free or will it just hurt? (I can’t decide what his answer could be that would make me feel either of those.)

“Yes,” I whisper, sure of myself. (What if he says he loves me?) (What if he doesn’t?)

“I gave you those flowers because I can’t go another four years in love with my enemy without him knowing. I gave you those flowers because I thought maybe you’d been miraculously paying attention in Magicks class,” He comes up to me, putting one of his cold, rough hands on my cheek. I think I subconsciously lean into the touch, but I’m not sure. “I gave you those flowers, Snow, because being in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way is tortuous. And even more so when they don’t know.” He waits for a response. (So do I.) But I have none. I have none because my head and my heart are saying two different things, and I don’t know which one to listen to. He sets his jaw as he turns around, shoulders sagging slightly, and starts to walk away.

Before he can get too far, I go to the bouquet (that I somehow dropped some time throughout the whole ordeal) and pick out one red Carnation. I run to Baz and grab his hand for the second time tonight. He turns around and starts to protest.

“Simon, I-” I ignore how lovely my name sounds coming from his lips.

“Hush up, tosser.” I shove the flower into his hand, and he stares at it a moment before looking back at me. I’m not good at using words; anyone who knows me knows that. So I rely on this single, measly flower to do the talking for me. And it works.

Thank Crowley for whatever loon decided flowers have subtext.

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fanficparker · 5 years ago

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Faking, Falling > Part 3

Harrison Osterfield x Reader (Fake dating! Unrequited love switcheroo!)

Word count: ~3.3k words

Warning: Swearing, Angst.

Summary: Positive or negative intentions yet the results do look pleasant but for how long?

<< PART 2 [ MASTERLIST ] PART 4 >>

"I am taking the day off early." You tell Jade, making sure Harrison was nearby and could hear you clearly.

"You seem excited, is there something special?"

You look at Harrison through your peripheral vision, who was just sitting ten feet from you, reading his script. But as much as you know him, you were sure his concentration was not on his script but on you. Completing almost one and a half month here on set you knew if you and he were in the same room, his mind was always wandering around you. Well, you would be more than pleased to get the eyes of the blonde who has the ability to get everyone's eyes on him, only if he wasn't a jerk. You were sure the only reason he had is eyes on you was to search for a perfect opportunity to belittle you or to make fun of you in some way or the other like he does every time.

But this time was different. You wanted to belittle him. Everyone who works on this set very well knew Simon and Harrison never got well. They had arguments every now and then and it would be really cool to show how his enemy was far better than him.

A smirk played on your lips as he stole glances at you thinking you weren't noticing. Idiot. You turned your attention back on Jade as you spoke further, "Simon asked me out! And now we have a date tonight, of course, I am excited."

"Really? But you told me just a week before that you weren't ready to date after-" She paused turning her head to see Harrison in the corner and then back at you, afraid she would speak anything that could hurt you. But you completed her sentence yourself.

"After that arsehole pulled that prank on me? Pfft." You were louder than you should for a bilateral conversation with Jade because it was with someone else. She looked surprised at your confidence level and that you were so comfortable saying Harrison 'arsehole' when he could easily hear.

"Look I thought about it and came to a conclusion. I am sure every fucking person on this planet is better than him and Simon... Simon hates him, I hate him. It's a perfect match!" You sounded as if it was a sure thing. You could feel Harrison's gaze on you, making you almost chuckle but you successfully hid it under a fake cough.

"Okay. I am happy for you." Jade said although you were sure her approval only translated to 'but Y/n that's not a very reliable reason to date someone.'

"Yeah, anything except that arsehole makes me happy." You smirked turning giving him a look and walking back to your designing room.

"Mate, I think she was referring to you." Harrison's co-star Greg whispered in his ear.

"Fuck off!" He mumbled and slammed his script on the front table, getting up and walking to your room.

"Seems like we aren't on good terms, specky."

You heard his voice behind you as you continue to sew your costume.

Without looking at him you clearly stated, "Next time make sure to knock before entering."

"Excuse me, what?"

"Looks like you need to get your hearing checked." You said finally looking at him. His jaws dropped yet again. You could see him struggling to take in your changed behaviour, which simply means - your faking game was working fine.

"You have changed," He said quietly.

"Guess it's a change for good."

For like minutes he just stared at your eyes as if he was trying to read them. It felt like he was searching for the part of you that you no matter how much you acted to be confident yet get flustered at his sight or snarky comments. You didn't give in, maintaining firm eye contact. He licked his lips and you could see the clear movements in his Adam's apple.

Harrison Osterfield was nervous and you were the reason behind it.

"Did it really hurt you that bad?" His voice was barely a whisper but still, you could clearly make out his words.

"Like you care, Osterfield."

He exhaled deeply.

"Yeah, you are right. I don't care."

"Good for you. Looks like the hatred is mutual."

"Never said it was hatred---"

"Action speaks louder than words..." A third voice interrupted before Harrison could complete himself. You and he both turned to see Simon standing by the door, holding a bunch of costumes. He was also you assistant after all.

"I am sorry if that sounded cliché but Y/n surely isn't enjoying your company." He said entering inside, keeping the costumes on the table and faced Harrison.

"You are no one to speak for her," Harrison spoke with gritted teeth.

"Well for your kind information, we are going on a date to---"

"That still doesn't make you speak for her. You aren't her boyfriend."

"At least she doesn't hate me," Simon said, standing just two inches from Harrison. The scene that played in front of your eyes seemed a lot more serious than you expected, making you quietly stand there and listen.

"Well, she will definitely hate you if I tell what you really do." The corners of Harrison's lips tugged into a light smirk.

"Ensure you have enough proofs before opening your mouth, Osterfield. We both know whom Y/n will trust otherwise."

Harrison smile fell and now Simon was the one confidently grinning. Harrison shifted his gaze towards you and then back at him. He exhaled again and walked from the side, saying nothing, leaving you and Simon alone in the room. Simon turned to look at you, giving a bright smile but it didn't do anything to the sinking, dark feeling in your abdomen. Their conversation was so shady that it made you sick.

"Aww come on Y/n, don't listen to him. Just two more hours of work and we are free!" He cheered to which you smiled (fake, obviously) but still you believed in him more than Harrison which let you sigh and calm yourself.

* * *

Two hours went by really slow but they did anyway. Simon asked you to leave together but you told him to leave first as you had to do finish the last tid-bits of your designs.

"I will be at Regan's Diner at 7. Can't wait to see you there!" And then he left when you concentrated back at your costume. You sighed, stretching your arms, relaxing. You glanced at your phone.

"Shit!" You jolted up from your seat, it was already 6:25 pm, you were late by 20 mins. You needed time to go back home, get dressed and then reach the restaurant. You cursed under your breath, assembling your stuff and shoving it into your handbag. Accidentally your phone slipped landing on the soft carpet beneath your table. You zipped up your bag, oblivious to your missing phone and rushed outside. You almost bumped into that blue eyes notorious blonde but stabilised yourself before you could collide. He gave you a blank look and you ignored him, walking out and driving to your home.

* * *

It was just five-minute past and Harrison couldn't find any interest in rehearsing his role. The conversation between him and you played over and over again in his head. If your date with Simon goes well, he would no more be able to follow you around or see your flattered or maybe annoyed expression. The thought of completely distancing himself from you made his stomach churn. But he doesn't care, right?

But you weren't wrong... He did feel guilty of what he did now.

No. No... He doesn't care about you or anyone... He isn't guilty.

It was your life, your date, whatever it was it had nothing to do with him. Maybe it was good for both of you. If he could survive without Tom and his company then he was sure he could definitely survive without interacting with you. You, who was basically nothing for him... He shook his head at all these annoying self debates going in his mind and he decided to take a break too. He finally called it a day off. He was about to walk out of the building when Greg called him.

"George asked you to keep all your costumes arranged as Simon & Y/n both have already left."

"Yeah yeah, no need to explain..." He rolled his eyes, dramatically.

Thank you Greg for making the day hundred percent better! He placed his costume in the wardrobe stand and then heard the sound of a chime. He checked his phone, but there was nothing. He again heard the sound and this time his gaze landed on the phone lying beneath the table. He picked it up, realising it was your phone. He would have not cared even a little bit if the 'two new messages' notification didn't show the name, Simon.

Don't open the message. Don't open the message...

And then he did... You didn't put a lock-screen password and Harrison felt calm blaming it on you.

Simon [6:35 pm]: Hey Y/n. I m really sorry but I got stuck in some important work. Can we plz meet at 9:30 instead of 7?

Simon [6:35 pm]: Tell me if this works for you. And I m really sorry for changing the plans on last minute.

Harrison read through the messages, rolling his eyes as if it was the most stupid message of all time. The phone chimed again.

Simon [6:36 pm]: Waiting for your reply <3

"Look how fucking excited this bastard is!" Harrison mumbled.

Maybe he does deserve a reply...

Harrison's fingers danced on the phone screen without thinking twice.

You would have put in a password if you were too bothered.

Y/n [6:38 pm]: No problem. See you at 9:30 then.

And the phone chimed again.

Fucking desperate!

Simon [6:38 pm]: Great. Can't wait to see you ;)

"Haha... Like she'll wait for you till nine-thirty!" Harrison finally felt a bit relieved from today's incident. A proud smile formed on his lips. He debated whether to keep the phone with him or leave it here... But first he should delete this conversation and he did.

Wait... What if he hands you back this phone himself? And enjoy your and Simon's date... Sounds like a plan to him.

He slipped the phone in his jacket and eagerly drove to your house, smiling proudly. He parked the car in the driveway and didn't waste a single minute ringing your door-bell.The door opened a minute later.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Thank you for being so polite. I really appreciate," Harrison chuckled at your annoyed voice. His eyes travelled from your head to toe, taking in your complete look. There were a hairbrush and a lipstick in your hands. Your hairs were half combed. You were wearing a blue knee-length dress, and the ribbons on your sleeves were still untied. You looked like you were rushing.

Yeah, rushing... For your date.

"Tell me what's your work I literally am getting really late and can't even find my fucking phone!" You growled looking at the wall clock showing 6:59 pm already.

"Well maybe this is yours," Harrison said taking out your phone. You looked at his hand and instantly snatched the device out.

"Oh God! Where do you get this?"

"Really Y/n. Your guest serving etiquette is kinda fucked up." He said leaning at your door frame as you checked your phone.

* * *

You were absolutely confused to see Harrison at your doorstep but because you were already late for your date, you didn't want to waste any more time thinking about any possibilities. But now he was here, safely handing you your phone. It's true you haven't forgiven Harrison for what he did and neither ever he asked for any apologies making you want to continue this hating game. You won't be lying if you say - you were actually enjoying it. It was easy to hate him than to deal with any other feeling. Maybe this crush was dying slowly, slowly. Everything you ever wanted...

But right now, he came to return you his phone and maybe he was right. It deserved a thank you.

"Oh sorry. Thank you but really where did you get it?"

"Beneath your table."

"God! I am such an idiot... " You laughed and damn, something in his heart stopped working. He glanced at your face, how your eyes squinted forming little creases along the corners and how your lips parted ever so slightly. He has always been the sole reason for your sadness & anger. But seeing you smile and laugh because of him automatically made his own lips tug into a small smile, his eyes still concentrated on your face.

Your laugh died down as a nervous chuckle in the end when you noticed his intense gaze on you.

"I-uh... I am getting late. You make yourself at home till I get ready." You tucked a hair strand behind your ear looking at your feet. You heard Harrison lightly cough, maybe to lighten the thickening air between you both.

"Yeah."

After five minutes you showed up again cursing about already being super late.

"I should call Simon. Maybe he thinks I am flaking out!" And before you could search for his contact, your phone was snatched from your hand. Your eyes shot up only to meet Harrison's icy blue ones.

"What are doing? It's just six-ten. You don't need to call him." He told.

"But I have to reach Regan's Diner too---"

"It's just five minutes from here. I'll drive you there. You don't wanna look like an idiot apologizing for just 15 minutes..." He handed you the phone back.

"You-you will drop me?" You asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, why not. Now hurry up, you don't wanna waste any time, right?" He already opened your main door signalling you to move out.

Was it right for you to go with Harrison when you already knew how much Simon hated him?

"Y/n, we are getting late!" He yelled standing near his car, giving you no time to think too much. You would have straight away denied if you weren't so punctual and being already late wasn't making you feel guilty.

The drive was silent and you couldn't thank less. You were panicking for your date but he was panicking about something else.

What if you come to know about those messages he sent and then deleted?

"Hey hey stop, we came ahead!" You said and Harrison instantly pulled the breaks.

"Ah, sorry, I was thinking about something."

When did Harrison Osterfield start saying sorry?

"Thanks for dropping me by the way," You smiled genuinely to which he nodded. You rushed inside the restaurant asking for your reserved seat. The waiter gave you the seat and you came to know Simon didn't arrive yet.

Good, you didn't call him.

7:40 pm and Simon didn't show up yet. You rubbed the skin of your arms in concern and embarrassment or maybe shame. You tried to divert your attention by scrolling through Instagram on your phone when you heard the noise of a chair pulling in front of you. Your head shot up only to see Harrison...

"Harrison? You didn't go?---"

"Saw you waiting and well... Guess my doubts were real!"

"What guess?"

He took a seat continuing, "Simon isn't going to come. He is a jerk, he likes flaking out---"

"At least, he isn't doing anything you did at Rick's party!" You spoke straight.

"Oh, come' on. Can we just forget it." He groaned stretching his back into the chair.

"You didn't even say sorry or anything regarding it. I have the right to carry whatever feeling I have for that incident and you." You said, one hand resting on your chin while the other mindlessly making invisible patterns on the table cloth. Harrison sighed and rubbed his palms over his eyes lightly.

"Okay okay... I get it. Sorry. I am really sorry. Now can we just forget it?"

The corners of your lips tugged upwards, a small smile forming.

"Will think about it..." You said slowly.

"Hello, sir and ma'am would you like to order something?" The waitress asked coming to your table, a big smile on her face.

"Umm... Actually, someone still didn't arrive---"

"Yeah, we can start with some starters... Cheese rolls, soup. Are you good with that?" Harrison interrupted you. He looked at you and you didn't understand what to answer so nodded.

"Thank you, just give us five minutes and hope you both are enjoying your date..."

"We--no..." You tried to clarify but the waitress had already walked away. You hated it but your cheeks felt warm making you look down at the table. An uncomfortable silence enveloping the two of you.

Harrison fake coughed to get you attention, "Umm, so for how long are you been here, in London?"

You looked up at him, a bit astonished to see him actually starting a good conversation.

"Well, two years. I came here to learn from some big fashion designers basically thought of getting an internship at Joshua Kane but guess they didn't need interns." You gasped.

"So, you came here to get a job at JK?" He leaned towards the table.

"No. For learning. I actually would love ṭo start my own brand. Basically, it's my dream, goal. There's just too much competition. Seems like everyone is better than me." You pursed your lips, looking at the glass of water blankly.

"Your work is personally my favourite. I mean it doesn't look like you are any less than professionals."

No. No... That feeling you hated it. Those butterflies... Harrison Osterfield... Not a good combination.

"You're just bluffing." You say, smiling shyly.

"Don't believe me but my fortune cookie did tell me that." He lightly chuckled.

"So, you believe in those?"

"Come on Y/n. I am saying the truth..."

"Thank you..."

"Your order." The waitress served your starters.

...

"Well, then see you tomorrow..."He dropped you back home.

"Yeah..." As he left you raced inside your house almost squealing in excitement. Changing your clothes you got into your bed. You replayed your time with Harrison this evening. Your phone rang and you absolutely blocked Simon's number the exact minute he called. He flaked out in your eyes after all. But then your phone chimed.

A new message.

Jade [10:45 pm]: How was your date?

You smiled at the message and wrote without thinking twice.

Y/n [10:45 pm]: Fucking awesome!

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monotonous-minutia · 5 years ago

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Don Carlo Met 2010 reactions pt. 3

So this Don Carlo will always be my favorite and I can say that even though I know there’s a bunch out there I haven’t seen and it’s because it doesn’t have my favorite version of everything, it’s the production that really got me into this opera and it’s so very special to me because of the way it came into my life and then inexplicably followed me around for the next several years.

So I have a lot to say about it.

Because it’s on my mind at this time I first want to say that anyone who criticizes Marina’s Elizabetta can eff off. I don’t care if she doesn’t have “a Verdi voice.” She IS Elizabetta. I first saw her picture in an Opera News magazine and I was like Dang she looks exactly the way I pictured based on everything I knew about the character. Plus her acting is METICULOUS. In opera, especially a super long on like this, it can be hard to find something to do during the musical bits between numbers and when the other person is singing because it takes longer for them to say things (IT’S OPERA) and react along with them. SHE DOES IT. There’s never a second where she’s not in character, she’s so PRESENT, she’s always there, and she’s fantastic and also drop-dead gorgeous. Every time she does anything I Die because she’s just marvelous.

As for the meticulous acting this, that’s my only beef with Roberto, because he does that Tenor Thing where occasionally he Just Stands There. But he’s got this warm fuzzy vibe about him and he just needs hugs. I love how he’s super sweet to Eboli even as he’s rejecting her. He obviously really cares about her. His dynamic with Elizabetta is so good and his dynamic with Rodrigo is SO. GOOD.

AND RODRIGO. I have to remind myself to breathe when I watch this one because I DIE so many times and it’s mostly Simon’s fault. WHY IS HE SO GOOD???? it’s ridiculous. Like Marina he’s always Doing Something and his reactions to the others are so real and intricate and auauahgg4hwyiy3hn. And he loves Carlo so much. And gives him all the hugs. Like seriously all the hugs. I can’t get over it. And the best part of his portrayal is that even with all the sweetness he’s still kind of shady. He knows what he wants and he makes some questionable decisions in order to get there, some that he regrets. It’s like he’s battling between wanting to do what’s best for Carlo and also what’s best for Flanders and because everything is so Messed Up these can’t always go together, and he figures that out the hard way and it comes to a shattering conclusion.

Eboli. This isn’t my favorite Eboli in the whole wide world but dang this lady. Again being the first one I saw she kind of defined the role for me. She captures all the emotions and swings from sassy to hopeful to conniving to remorseful to determined right along with the action. Her journey is so intense and Anna really digs into it and finds the facets and we can see it all on her face. She’s so expressive. And she plays off the other characters so well. It’s obvious everyone is in love with her. (Except the one she really wants to be in love with her, because that’s how it always works out, especially if you’re a mezzo.) And she teases Thibault mercilessly.

And now for my son. He loves his princess so much. He points his gun at Carlo when he jumps out of nowhere and the Look he gives the guy when they tell him he can leave them alone. He’s like “If you do anything I will CUT you, sir.” And Layla plays him so well, like he’s always up to something, be it flirting with the ladies, hanging on to Elizabetta’s every word, checking the doorways to see who’s coming, or conferring with Aremberg as they check in on their princess. And. And. And. The Veil Song. I die. He’s so adorkable. And he goes running around giving all the ladies flowers and he saves the best one for Eboli and the way they dance around with the veil is just. I can’t. It’s illegal how cute they are. And his expressions during the auto-de-fe break my heart. He just wants to follow his princess and then he gets caught up in all of this. He’s horrified. It’s so sad. Also I still am angry that everyone forgets he exists after that scene. Even Lerma gets to pop up later but my son doesn’t get so much as a mention. Anyway. If there’s an afterlife I’m gonna take that up with the librettists. First I have to learn French.

Filippo. Furlenetto IS Filippo. I still don’t get why he has a cane sometimes and not others but Hytner is weird and I blame for a lot of things including Carlo dying (NOT. HAPPY.) and Eboli being pushed to the side during the riot and Carlo not even going with her which was the whole point. Anyway. This king. He’s so expressive and like most of the others he’s always Doing Things even if said thing is pretending to read paperwork while his wife sings farewell to her lady-in-waiting (also these two are totally in love. Like most of the time Elizabetta gives Aremberg a necklace or something but Marina gives her a RING. I think after the events of the opera these two should elope. And take Thibault with them. Maybe Eboli too.) Anyway we can see the many shades to Filippo’s character and the face he makes when he signs the warrant for Carlo’s death is just heartbreaking.

The set. I love the set. Especially Fountainebleau and the monastery. Most of the set is pretty simplistic and not as rich as some others, but it still fit the story. The huge cross in some of the scenes really emphasizes the omnipresent religious undertones that pretty much flavor everything. All the red in Act 2 Scene 2 and the auto-de-fe were bold and atmospheric. The big Jesus picture was unnerving. Also another weird Hytner thing is the added dialogue during the auto-de-fe. Guy should have left well enough alone but. oh well.

I wish this production had the extended garden scene with the masquerade and Elizabetta giving Eboli her veil, because the music is so pretty and it’s like the only two minutes we get of Elizabetta and Eboli interacting as friends. But I’m okay with the shortened opening. Again, having the Woodcutter’s Chous and Elizabetta visiting them does a better job setting up for the rest of the opera and shows the devotion she has to her people which makes her decision more powerful etc. etc. But. Those horns. The fanfare. I can’t. and Elizabetta running up the hill in pursuit of the deer and she’s so WILD and happy and. Every time I hear it I remember sitting by my radio and thinking Dang, this is good, and picturing everything, and then finally getting to see it and dying.

so anyway there’s my ramblings. will probably continue to cry about this in the next few days.

#don carlo #don carlos #opera #met opera streams #metropolitan opera #nightly opera streams #i'll never get over this one #i died #a lot #my favorite favorite favorite #am i writing this instead of homework?#yes #yes i am #monotonous minutia #monotonous-minutia reacts

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charaisgay · 6 years ago

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Breakdown of the Adventure Time Finale Intro

Adventure time ending has got me in a bittersweet state and I wanna contribute at least something to the commemoration of it. I’ll probably end up drawing some fan art of Shermy and Beth sooner or later because I love the short amount of stuff we get from them, but speaking of Shermy and Beth: I wanted to make an analysis/theory on everything we see in intro of “come along with me”.

Most of this is gonna be stuff that a lot of people have already theorized and put together but not all the breakdown videos get every point I wanna make spot on, so I just wanted to get everything I believe together in one neat little post.

So right off the bat we start in the Ice Kingdom as usual, and in the first second of the into we can see the ball that Patience St. Pim froze herself in during the elements mini series, so we know that she’s still (technically?) alive in this1000 years in the future version of Ooo. If it’s possible, maybe one day she might be unfreezed. I don’t remember if it was stated that that could happen or not.

And in the very next shot their appears to be pink hands gripping onto the bars of an ice cage. The most obvious answer to who is in the cage is of course Princess Bubblegum. In the episode graybles 1000+, we get a glimpse of the future Ooo and what the new Candy Kingdom looks like. It isn’t much of an kingdom but more like hotel inside of a giant futuristic gumball guardian that roams the land. In this future version of Candy Kingdom Princess Bubblegum is nowhere to be found. I believe that the knew Ice King (Gunther) has took to capturing Princesses again and PB is a reoccurring hostage of his. That’s why she wasn’t seen in the gumball guardian. This future version of the Ice King is a lot more hostile (thus why his ice/snow is more apparent and has expanded a great deal from Simon’s ice kingdom) and is competent enough to be an actual threat, and is able to keep PB for an extended period of time. So PB is still kicking around in this future version of Ooo, just not where she’s suppose to be and she doesn’t have the happiest of turn outs.

PB always being captured by the Ice King leads me to believe that this unknown person riding atop the stone duck with a telescope in the ice kingdom, is in fact Marceline. A lot of people believe that this could be a far descendant of one of the humans from the islands after they came back to Ooo, or Simon because of the shape of the backpack is similar to his: but i’m sticking with this being Marcy. My evidence towards this person being Marcy is the stone duck being present. If you remember, the stone duck’s first (or only, I can’t remember it being in any other episode?) appearance is in he episode where Marcy makes her first appearance, during the house searching song. It just seems like too much of a deliberate choice to be a coincidence. And the reason the gear looks so similar to Simon's is because after Simon died: Marcy started using his gear to travel. Or maybe it’s not his, but his influence in her life is still present so she wanted her gear to look like his. Either way, it’s Marcy. And the reason that Marcy is traveling and why she is in the Ice Kingdom is due to her searching for PB. After the Ice King started capturing PB again, Marcy was the one to start saving her after Finn died. (Kind of like history repeating itself) And it’s just a continuous never ending loop of the Ice King capturing PB, Marcy saving PB, and then the Ice King capturing her again, hiding her in a different spot every time to delay Marcy’s search. And at a certain point Marcy just decided to leave home for good and become a nomad seeing as how busy she is with always looking for PB. The two of them can’t stay in one fixed location thus allowing for Shermy and Beth to move into Marcy’s house.

This is of course the Gunther version of Ice king who we got a glimpse of in the graybles 1000t episode. In concept art, he was called the ice thing. And he looks noticeably different from what he looked like in the finale, the main difference being that he no longer has a body. My theory is that he just evolved to become like this over time, but I also like to believe that after his wife, Turtle Princess died (because she’s mortal) he went mad and become a much more prominent monster and threat to the land of Ooo, and he ventures across the land and interacts with everything a lot more than the Ice King we knew did. Maybe he was the main reason and the cause of the land of Ooo being in the decrepit state it’s in.

As the Ice King flies off we get a distant look as what’s believed to be the Pup kingdom. Probably one of the last standing kingdoms. Theirs truck transport road that seems to be taking supplies in, so while the land of Ooo does look pretty barren: their seems to be enough peeps around for jobs like this to still exist.

And as we zoom into the kingdom we get a glance at what Pups look like. Pups are the obvious descendants of Jake and Rainicorn. Jake and Rainicorn did essentially create a new race of beings, and with how fast Rainicorns grow, it would make sense that they would be able to develop into a new civilization and culture in the span of 1000 years.

And it seems like the Pup race has been doing well for themselves seeing as they have a means of space travel. My theory is that some time while the Pup civilization was being created, some of it’s members split off and decided to venture in space. So half of the Pup Kingdom is on earth while the other half is in space. This rocket ship is just a way for them to communicate and send supplies to each other.

And again, referring back to graybles 1000t episode: we can see some of these space Pups having a wedding. When I first watched this episode a while back I didn’t even put together that these guys were Pups. But the evidence is obvious. They had the eyes and signature jowls of Jake, and they all speak Korean like Rainicorn. So yeah, the Pups are doing good.

Going back to the intro, we can even see some of these space Pups floating on a platform in the sky with another Pup trying to attack Ice King. Which is more evidence towards my theory that Ice King is a wanted criminal and a top priority in this state. But wait, that’s not just any Pup firing at Ice King. It’s Gibbon! Charlie’s son.

He’s still alive after all these years. With being so old, his fur turned white and he grew a super long mustache/beard. But you can still tell it’s him. As for how he is still alive after all this time: it’s because he has one of ice crown’s jewels in his eye, thus granting him some kind of immortality. We saw one of the ice crown’s jewels fall out and be used as a wedding ring in the finale, as for how Gibbon got a hold of this jewel: we will never know. But he got it somehow. Either way it’s cool that he’s still around. With being so old, maybe he’s some kind of respected high up authority in the Pup kingdom.

Now for the part in the intro that everyone has been pointing out the most, the Finn and Jake giant stone statues. It’s obvious that these two stone colossus are suppose to be Finn and Jake. The most apparent theory is that Finn and Jake were regarded as such great heroes that they became historical figures and these statues where built of them as monuments. That or maybe it was their grave stones, such brave heroes do deserve a send off as great as they where.

And it seems as if the flame guy (who I will be getting to in a second) has decided to take refugee inside of Jake’s statue. Although, some people don’t believe that this monument is actually Jake but instead Jermaine because of this:

Theirs a slab of stone next to the flame guy that looks like it use to say Finn and Jermaine as opposed to Jake before it got broken. Now theirs two answers I've come up with for this. One: maybe there where three monuments: Finn, Jake, and Jermaine’s, but Jake or Jermaine’s monument got destroyed somehow and only one remains. The one we see could be Jake or Jermaine’s. Or two: later in his life Jermaine become an adventure like Finn, Jake, and their parents, and claimed a great title as a hero reviled only to Finn. And while Jake was still greatly remembered and respected, Jermaine just began to outshine him in the public eye. Jake was kinda lazy and was never really the adventurer type anyways, he just kinda followed behind Finn. Jermaine must’ve created his own identity and did something as great as Finn’s accomplishments. Personally I like to believe a mix between the two options happened. All three of them did have monuments but one got destroyed, and Jermaine did become a great hero thus why he also has a statue in remembrance.

Also, behind the flame guy you can see a shovel and some covered dirt which makes me further believe that those statues where grave stones, and this patch of dirt is one of the brother’s grave. As for the Flame guy, it’s pretty easy to connect that he is a reincarnation of the flame elemental. And the slime guy that he’s firing at is most likely a reincarnation of the slime elemental. Maybe the two elements are at some kind of war. Sadly, this means that FB and less sadly Slime Princess, are not alive anymore like PB, and died some time in the 1000 years after the finale.

And in this shot you can see what’s most likely a descendant of the two headed duck that use to be outside of Finn and Jake’s tree house, and a space Pup spying on Marceline’s old house that now belongs to Shermy and Beth. Maybe he’s just trying to make sure Beth is safe, it make sense: she is a princess after all, and an important leader figure, they wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. This is their way of giving her freedom to do her own thing while also protecting her.

And finally we get to see Shermy and Beth residing in Marceline’s house. It’s interesting that the Pups let their Princess stay away from home, but it’s nice to see them being so non lenient on her. Another interesting bit is that you can see Bubblegum’s greatest uncle cup: which probably means before PB started getting captured again, she lived with or visited Marceline a lot at some point. Maybe it happened after the fall of the old Candy Kingdom.

In the next shot we can see remnants of the old candy kingdom, and what looks like a resident from Lumpy space. So Lumpy Space is still around. But unfortunately, Neddy most likely isn’t, seeing that the giant tree in the candy kingdom has lost it’s foliage and is probably dead, thus not giving Neddy any sustenance to survive off of. Maybe the lack of Neddy’s juice after the tree and himself died is what caused the Candy citizens to relocate, and on they’re search to find a energy to sustain candy life. And PB built the great gumball guardian to protect the Candy people from the threat of the Ice King (or what ever has brought devastation to the land of Ooo) while they travel. On the upside it looks like the Candy Kingdom did survive fairly a long time after the finale, maybe it became abandoned only few hundred years before Shermy and Beth’s time. I say this because of how much the Candy Kingdom has expanded and developed into a more metropolis like city before it’s fall, that would take a lot of time. Maybe the humans from the islands started living in the Candy Kingdom when they came to Ooo and helped the Princess expand.

Oppose to a traveling Finn sitting on top of a stretched out Jake, we see Shermy and Beth traveling on top of grown Sweet Pea. So he’s still alive and seems to be as friendly as he was as a kid. Or at least friendly enough to give Shermy and Beth a ride. In the finale you can see him walking the land with a giant sword, maybe he’s become the exact opposite of the Lich: an immortal being who will forever protect the citizens of Ooo. He seems like the gentle giant type but won’t hesitate to put a stop to evil doers and exhibit his inner strength.

And with that intro ends with Shermy: a reincarnation of the Hero comet, like Finn and Shoko, and Beth: a far far down the line descendant of Jake, and princess of the Pup civilization, fishing just outside of the cave where their house resides. I would love it if these two had some kind of short ten episode mini spin off series or a comic line, I liked their personalities and it would be great to explore them and the future land of Ooo more.

God I love how this show can cram so much information into just 24 seconds.

EDIT: Recently Steve Wolfhard updated us with some more information about this 1000t years Ooo and it turns out that I was pretty much right about my theory that PB was the person in the ice cage. He stated the PB is present in the intro, and I sure as heck didn’t see her anywhere else. The theory that Marcy is the one riding the Stone Duck is still up for grabs though, but i’m pretty sure it’s true. He also stated that the fire and slime guy are indeed reincarnations of the flame and slime elementals,he said the crew wanted to put them in as a way to tell the audience that PB is the only elemental we knew that’s still around now (except Patient St Pim but I don’t think she really counts).

He also gave us some interesting Pup lore on how every Pup is born with a power, but as of late Pups are having their powers taken away at birth. Seemingly the old version of Gibbon is the one taking their powers away. Turns out I was completely off about the Pups giving Beth space to be her own person by letting her stay away from home, in all actuality she’s an exiled Princess who was usurped by Gibbon and that’s why she isn’t at home anymore. She’s basically on the run. So I was right about Gibbon being an high up authority but I didn’t expect him to be evil in a way.

But it’s interesting and it makes some sense: apparently Gibbons powers we’re stolen and it does seem like the crown’s jewel affectd him in a way similar to how the ice crown makes it’s user go insane.

My theory is that after his power was stolen he fell into a depressed state and searched for a way to get it back or something that would give him special abilities again until he found the Ice crown’s jewel. The combination of the ice crowns affect it has on people and his depression was enough to drive him over the edge. So he decided that if he couldn’t have his powers no Pup could, and started stealing their powers (presumably he uses the magic staff he has to do it)

Must’ve took him along time to work his way up the ranks since he didn’t actually become the Pup king until Beth’s time. I say this because Beth does know of her heritage and that she’s suppose to be the rightful leader of the Pup kingdom, so her parents must’ve been in power at some point in her life or else how would she know that? My guess is that Gibbon took over around the time Beth was a little kid (i’m just assuming that in the finale Beth is a teenager around the ages of 14-17) but Beth escaped before Gibbon was able to take her power. We see her parents nowhere and it looks like it’s just her and Shermy, so they most likely didn’t make it out.

Or maybe Gibbon isn’t that vile and he allowed Beth’s parents to continue ruling but appointed himself as their over see-er, he let them stay in charge of the kingdom but they had to have their powers removed. Beth, not wanting to give up her powers: was exiled or ran away. Thus why she still has her powers. It seems as if the Pups do know of her current location (because of the space spy pup) but aren’t really seeking to take her out. Gibbon doesn’t see her as a threat and just lets her do her own thing while keeping tabs on her.

God it’s all so interesting, I wanna know so much about Beth. She seems like such a cool character.

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yourereallyhere · 5 years ago

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6x04 reaction post

HI I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE EPISODE and im SO EXCITED to see everyones posts because I've being avoiding social media since 8 pm EST,, that was the best episode of the season by far and im FREAKING OUT so enjoy all the thoughts I had while watching since I was able to do this when I didn't watch live as I usually do and also come scream in my inbox (under the cut bc its pretty long)

⁃ Diyoza is a #sav

⁃ This convo bt Russell and Simone hmmm we know where this is going

⁃ MADI AND JORDAN ARE SO CUTE

⁃ Raven in a mechanic shop? This is an au fic

⁃ Everyone is so happy

⁃ “It will be like it never happened”..so if Clarke does it Josephine wouldn’t have her memories

⁃ But then Delilah wouldn’t remember Jordan

⁃ Poor Madi

⁃ Bellamy and echo where did you come from 👀

⁃ Bellamy’s smirk at Jordan

⁃ Oof Clarke is really warming up to sanctum

⁃ Bellamy follows Clarke what a good little night and e.cho is pissed

⁃ They’re all still in murder gear

⁃ HUNGER GAMES AHAHAHA DLCIWJFKXI

⁃ Simone is 😡😡 angry

⁃ Repent renew rejoice rebirth

⁃ THE B.ECHO SHOT AND THEN THE CLARKE SHOT AS SHES TURNING AWAY FROM LOOKING AT THEM

⁃ Russell is so cute yay for men showing emotions!

⁃ Oh clarke you’ve hurt people but we love you anyways

⁃ OHHH THE PRINCESS MECHANIC FIGHT I WAS RIGHT I love when that happens

⁃ HONEY don’t apologize for Shaw you didn’t do shit and you were the only one who even tried to save him pls spare me this bs jroth

⁃ Don’t make Clarke feel bad for having impossible choices that’s so fucked up everyone puts responsibility on her and as she’s said MULTIPLE TIMES she. Didn’t. Ask. For. This.

⁃ WHOOP there it is: bringing Bellamy into the convo

⁃ THAT IS NOT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLARKE AND OCTAVIA ANS CLARKE DOESNT PRETEND

⁃ Awe Octavia is protecting Clarke that’s so nice

⁃ Errand boy is hot hot hotttt he should get with Octavia

⁃ Rose and Octavia is a duo I stand by

⁃ Xavier left that knife there on purpose

⁃ THE LANTERNS

⁃ Omg clarkes said “Leaving Bellamy in Polis” that’s her darkness of the past I’m not crying you are

⁃ And now they’re talking

⁃ AND SHE CONFIRMED IT

⁃ Clarke stop was literally the cutest thing to come out of that boys mouth ever

⁃ The Talk™️ but not really because The Real Talk™️ will have to be alone

⁃ WE BEEN KNEW THE IM SO SORRY BELLAMY WAS FROM A DIFFERENT CLIP

⁃ you’re,. my. FAMILy TOO ANJCICIWKJDJS. AAAHHHHHHG

⁃ YOURE TOO IMPORTANT TO ME

⁃ this is going down as one of the most iconic scenes ever

⁃ I have to pause every two seconds to type I’m too excited and don’t want to miss anything

⁃ HES SO HAPPY

⁃ THE HUG

⁃ Bellamy stop beating yourself up

⁃ They’re standing SO CLOSE

⁃ Xavier’s smirk I knew he left it on purpose

⁃ Awe raven found her lil hub maybe she’ll find a way to take the giant stick out of her ass

⁃ OOO a boy maybe he’ll replace that stick for his

⁃ I’m so sorry about that idk what came over me

⁃ But yea they’re gonna bang

⁃ He’s the prime from the pic raven was looking at

⁃ What’s their ship name ?? They both start with R .. Raver?

⁃ CLARKES A RAVER

⁃ AND SHES HERSELF

⁃ AT THE RAVE

⁃ oooo Bellamy’s gonna get jealous

⁃ that’s the wrong man clarkey

⁃ We need a reaction shot

⁃ CLARKES SMILING SO MUCH

⁃ omg Bellamy’s watching clarke and doctor man

⁃ E.chos watching him watching clarke ANGST

⁃ Don’t lie bell we know why you’re upset

⁃ B.echo fight gimme

⁃ Also bell that wasn’t the last time you were at a party the last time was in Arkadia at the end of the world with your blue solo cup and the girl who looked suspiciously like your wife

⁃ Omg BELL CALLING E.CHO OUT FOR BEING A ROBOT

⁃ how would the e.cho you knew on the ring do that if no one was in trouble or dying ?? Unless bell was dying of sadness

⁃ Also weird thing to say right after clarke apologized to him showing that she does in fact care when people are in trouble or dying

⁃ FINALLY TALKING ABOUT MONTY AND HARPER (HARPER HARPER DONT FORGET HER)

⁃ Wow Bellamy that was a lot of sass

⁃ I kind of feel bad for e.cho

⁃ Octavia is SO GOOD in this episode

⁃ FEAR IS A MOTHERFUCKING DEMON love that callback

⁃ Oh good grab the stick

⁃ YAS DIYOZA

⁃ NICE STICK THATS WHAT I SAID AHHAH

⁃ omg I knew rose was gonna die now clarkes gonna become the host but I’m sad bc she was so cute and smol

⁃ Octavia we know you’re gonna end up having sex with him

⁃ Diyoza is a cockblock

⁃ The ponytail is back YAS with braids this time

⁃ OOO I KNEW IT RYKERS A PRIME

⁃ I love being right

⁃ YES CLARKE ITS BEEN 132 YEARS GET THAT DICCCCCC

⁃ Clarke is so hot

⁃ And *invisible ink* horny

⁃ Delilah doesn’t want to forget that’s #sweet

⁃ Oo good job clarke he’s got abs

⁃ Banned by the primes hmm is this guy a spy

⁃ HE IS THE SPY

⁃ POOR CLARKE THE FIRST GUY SHE HOOKS UP WITH WANTS HER DEAD

⁃ Clarke couldn’t release her sin of leaving Bellamy

⁃ Poor Jordan

⁃ OH YAY CLARKE IS BEING SAVED FOR ONCE even if it’s by randos

⁃ That tear. Kill me.

⁃ I miss Bellamy come back to my screen bby

⁃ Also murphy Emori Abby Miller Jackson were just kinda kicked out of the episode lol

⁃ They’re gonna turn Clarke into Josephine at the end of this episode and the next or next few will be everyone else having to save her for once I think so it’s good that she and Bellamy talked a little bit before

⁃ I am all for e.cho showing emotion

⁃ I don’t like that everyone is drinking their problems away though

⁃ Oo they obva haven’t been together that long or e.cho would have told Bellamy the truth about her parents before this right

⁃ Ok the b.echo scene was cute but their physical interactions just look so awkward and I wasn’t a big fan of Tastas acting although it was better than usual

⁃ RUSSELL NO they’re not even giving her a choice

⁃ They bad bad

⁃ NO CLARKE

⁃ the flaaaaame destroy that stupid piece of shit already

⁃ How can Eliza Taylor show SO MUCH EMOTION while paralyzed

⁃ Queen of acting

⁃ They’re calling Clarke a vessel like she’s not a human being

⁃ OMG this is so good like bad for Clarke but plot wise SO good (even though we saw it coming) and when she was screaming I thought it was her getting clarkes pain but I guess it was just being reincarnated

⁃ THE HAIR TWIRLING

⁃ Yes you can work with that it’s Clarke motherfucking Griffin

⁃ that was the best episode of the season. scream with me in my inbox.

#the 100 #the 100 6x04 #the 100 spoilers #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #bellarke #eliza taylor

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artisticflutter · 6 years ago

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Enemy is my Friend - Part Two

The second part of @red-rose-draws secret santa gift! Merry Christmas!

Rating: G Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance, AU, Friendship, Family Bonding (briefly) Pairing(s): Love Square Summary: According to Plagg, Ladybug was supposed to be Chat Noir’s partner, and maybe if his dad hadn’t found out he had the ring, it would’ve been that way. Warning: Enemies!AU. Also, there’s mention of weight loss later on.

According to Plagg, Ladybug was supposed to be Chat Noir’s partner, and maybe if his dad hadn’t found out he had the ring, it would’ve been that way.

His first outing declaring himself her enemy all those months ago didn’t go so bad. And for a while, he’d say things went pretty well. Sure, they might be fighting, but he couldn’t help driving Plagg insane, talking over and over about how incredible that girl really was despite playing a villain, but Ladybug was a real superhero. Sometimes, he wished he could’ve been a hero alongside her, but he chalked it up to the bad luck that ran his life.

It didn’t take that long either for his luck again to run everything straight into the ground.

Still, sitting on the balcony with this girl, quietly eating a croissant, it felt like this had been a long time coming.

“Lost in thought there, Kitten?”

He gave a start, shifting over as Marinette sat beside him wrapped in one of her fluffy blankets. When she gave him a smile, he found himself mustering up his own in return. His belt tail’s buckle lightly clicked against the ground.

Ladybug had originally brought him here just because Marinette wanted to thank him during some of the akuma attacks, but then, she’d invited him back. It confused him why she was being so hospitable to someone who was Paris’s enemy, but he found himself making subsequent returns despite the worries of waltzing into a trap. Chat Noir would blame his isolation though in the end, unable to remember the last time he’d talk to anyone cordially.

… Almost like a real friend.

He was eager to visit more and more. Sometimes, he got to sit in the blanket with her; some nights, they talked for hours; but a few nights, they also just sat in silence. She drew and he’d watch or risk taking a nap. However, there was always food for him whether it be leftovers from her family’s dinner or the bakery itself. She didn’t need to do this for him anymore, but it was nice feeling like someone cared.

Slowly, his head dropped onto her shoulder and he sighed, feeling his ears droop on his head.

Could it stay like this?

“Hey, Chat?”

“Mmm?”

He felt the warmth of her fingers seep through his suit, her hand resting on his own. Would it be weird to say she smelled nice?

“A little,” she giggled. His face burned – he hadn’t realized he’d said it out loud, but she took it in stride. “Anyway, could I ask you something?”

“… Sure? What would you like to know, Princess?”

Feeling her shift, he turned and wrapped his arms around her, whining ‘Noooooo’ to keep her from pulling away. That nickname always garnered a different reaction, but he wouldn’t fall over this time! He grinned while she rolled her eyes, flashing back a brief smirk.

“Silly cat… Why do you fight Ladybug again?”

The mood shifted from playful to somber and he hesitated to answer. He didn’t know if there’d be any harm in telling her, but he could imagine the reaction when his father found out.

If his father found out.

“… Someone important to me went missing.”

He bit his tongue lightly, still unsure to say more. Though he feared the repercussions, he felt tired from everything. Lying on her lap, his arms still loosely secured around her waist, didn’t make the feeling go away either, but it did make him feel safer. Curled fingers proceeded to comb through his hair, coaxing a wavering purr from his throat.

Akumatized victims were the only way to draw Ladybug out, his father explained, while they sat at the table for the first time in, well, ever. Since his mother’s disappearance barely a year ago, Gabriel had begun shutting himself away and barring Adrien from visiting. They had to be scheduled through Nathalie as to ‘not disturb him’, and keep them within the hours he was expected to be studying or with tutors. When Adrien finally managed to see his dad for the first time, he had asked if he could do anything to help – maybe relieve him of some company work – or anything to spend more time with him.

It worked, sort of.

He scheduled a second meeting when that first ended up changing nothing, asking to attend public school.

Unsurprisingly, his father denied that request in such a tone that Adrien didn’t consider asking again.

The desire and need for interactions with people grew. Chloé’s visits had become so few that they failed to staunch the loneliness growing in his heart. Trying to take matters into his own hands, Adrien set himself up to attend a local collège and snuck out between his History and Maths sessions, but helping an old man allowed the Gorilla and Nathalie to catch up.

One stern lecture from his father later, the first akuma appeared. Plagg appeared and his dad just happened to walk in.

The rest was history.

His dad revealed himself to be the one behind the akumatized victim, taking on the moniker of Hawkmoth with the Butterfly Miraculous’ powers. Together, if they could acquire the Ladybug Miraculous, they’d be able to wish for his mother to come home. Whatever happened to her would be a bad memory – they’d be a complete family again.

How could he pass up the opportunity? He wanted to see his mother again.

Without the need to hide Hawkmoth anymore, Adrien found himself at the dining table with his father trying to plot their next strategies to gain Ladybug’s Miraculous over dinner. It was great! They hadn’t had meals together in months, and Adrien ignored the niggling feeling that this was wrong.

He laid two simple rules for his dad for their move forward: 1. Adrien’s only target was Ladybug, and 2. unless the akumatized was capable of controlling others, he wanted no civilians harmed.

While rule one was never an issue, Stormy Weather and Evillustrator were two akuma early on that violated rule two. They were lucky that Ladybug’s power could fix any damages done, but the thought of anyone accidentally injured or – heaven forbid – killed made his stomach churn. It was already enough they terrorized the city for a pair of earrings. Mom would be disappointed with those actions and he could live with that, but she’d never forgive them for harming innocent people.

“Hey, Plagg?”

“What?”

Adrien grimaced at the kwami’s usual indifferent tone, used to it, but hating it on principle. Ever since awakening from the ring and the whole villainy route, Adrien knew how much Plagg hated everything and everyone. He could probably do more than growl at Adrien, too, but he never did so the boy often used him as an echo chamber. It made things feel less lonely.

“If I just asked Ladybug, do you think she’d give me the earrings? Just long enough to make the wish?”

Gleaming acid eyes and thinned pupils turned, locking with Adrien’s eyes, but Plagg said nothing for a minute. His mouth slowly curled into fanged sneer and he returned his focused on his Camembert cheese.

“No way. Ladybug’s not going to let you or anyone have her earrings. Doesn’t matter your reason and doesn’t matter how kindly you try to ask.”

“But why?”

The snort was typical – critical and harsh with his voice just above a hiss.

“You don’t need to know.”

“I’d like to know.”

“Too bad.”

Figuring one day he’d try asking Plagg again, Adrien kept on fighting Ladybug whenever his father made another akuma victim, enjoying each opportunity to be outside and then come home to have a meal with his dad. No matter what they tried, Ladybug’s Lucky Charm always helped her win the day. Adrien should’ve been annoyed like his father was, but he couldn’t help seeing her abilities as incredible – miraculous, even? Ah, if only he had someone he could tell that one to. But joking aside, she saved the day no matter how many people – akumatized or otherwise – faced her. And he’d probably be doing the same at her side if his father hadn’t caught Plagg.

Why did he find himself lingering on that fact? And saving people when he had to, it felt better than what he was doing now – or maybe that wrongness he felt before was growing stronger.

Could it be wrong to want his mother back?

He tried not to think about it anymore, but then he made a mistake.

Adrien wasn’t sure why his father thought Simon Says was a good idea. Considering who Simon’s target was and his powers, taking his side would increase the danger, but his father didn’t listen. Ladybug came to the mansion herself to help seconds before Simon and his army arrived, and though Adrien doubled back after pretending to escape, he watched from the rooftops - eyes bulging – as Simon Says’ army carried his father away.

Stick to the plan, he told himself repeatedly, but sticking to the plan was not possible when Simon ordered his dad to jump from the TVi Station’s roof.

Father had not been pleased by the turn in events. Adrien later stood in his bedroom, staring at photos of his mother while his mind replayed his dad shouting at him for his incompetence. Not only had it been his fault they didn’t get the earrings again, but Ladybug had stolen two things from the house: some old book and a pin? Adrien hadn’t known about either object before or why they were so important.

Ignoring stinging eyes, he continued looking at the smiling photos of his mom.

It would be fine. The two of them would just have dinner later and plan the next move like always. And if he kept his mind on their goal, he’d be able to withstand any more outbursts his father might have – it would be worth it in the end.

But his father didn’t show up to dinner that night, or the next.

Akumas continued to occur and Nathalie would inform Adrien to go out as Chat Noir.

One day, he saw his father in the hallway, but he walked into his office without saying a word.

The holidays came and passed with Adrien celebrating in the dining room alone, and in that moment, the mansion was back in the days before he possessed the ring. The only difference now was Plagg, but Adrien watched the kwami purposefully phase out the window, disappearing into the snowy night.

Adrien wanted to confront his father, but he never did. Instead, the day his home school lessons were to resume, he heard glass shattering on the opposite side of the grand foyer. Cautiously, Adrien risked venturing into Gabriel’s office and gasped. Broken frames and glass strewn about, but the windows intact, he was bewildered at the destruction. But that was nothing as he watched his akumatized father rise from the floor via a secret elevator.

He didn’t get the chance to yell before the book hit him.

He avoided his father out after The Collector, or tried to anyway.

Wasn’t it ironic then when his father began talking to him again and pretending like nothing had happened? Adrien knew his dad hadn’t forgotten it. He’d also become acutely aware of his laughter whenever it echoed out of the assumed Lair now. What was he supposed to do though? The Gorilla and Nathalie acted like this was par for the course, but he couldn’t do the same – not with the influx of akumatized people interrupting his schedule, resulting in cut times to his studies and modeling.

Don’t fall behind.

Don’t be late.

If he did everything, his father wouldn’t akumatize himself again. His father wouldn’t try to akumatize him either… maybe.

Was Plagg actually showing him some concern now?

No, he had to be imagining things. No one was worried about him in this house.

Mom would be worth it in the end though, right?

Adrien ignored his growing exhaustion and bouts of dizziness, and he tried to get the earrings. He tried so hard, but found himself that fateful evening being held down by Ladybug and her fingers grabbed his ring. Watching her, he wanted to scream, to beg, to do anything, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

If she took it, maybe this nightmare would be over.

Staring at the ring with its blazing green paw pad in the center, Ladybug had truly given him mercy by bringing him to the patisserie. How he’d missed so many meals and not realized it, he wasn’t entirely sure. He’d been stuck inside his head for so long doing his best to make everything perfect.

“Hawkmoth said I could wish for them back, but I need Ladybug’s earrings to do that. And I need them back…”

His felt his arms tense and his hold around her tightened.

“Everything’s wrong at home and I’m not sure how much longer I can say this is worth it. But if I give up, I don’t know what’ll happen. When Ladybug brought me here that first night, I wish she had taken my ring.”

“Chat…”

Burying his face into her side, found himself engulfed by darkness, Marinette having taken her blanket and wrapping it around them both. He imagined the headlines reading that the notorious villain Chat Noir was discovered crying on some bakery’s roof, but he doubted such thoughts had gone through her head.

Marinette was empathetic and kind – brave too when the time came for it. Her actions reminded him so much of his mother; she was keenly aware that he needed an affection that had begun to feel unobtainable in life. She allowed him to cry himself out and curl against her legs, and the exhaustions from the day made his eyelids feel heavy.

Protected and warm, Chat Noir – Adrien fell asleep, dreaming of a future where he’d feel happy and whole again, and with Marinette by his side.

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