#i have more :P
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Santino in this deleted scene hits different
Literally :)
#santino d’antonio#santino d'antonio#john wick chapter 2#riccardo scamarcio#john wick#get it bc he hit- 💥🔫#im eating up this deleted scene AAAAH yummies#i have more :P
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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i think a lot of people are calling viktor’s reaction to waking up changed and then almost immediately leaving for zaun unrealistic and like… yes it would be. for someone whose mind has not been affected by the hexcore. he speaks differently, he hears sky’s voice through its influence, he can no longer feel the cold, or the warmth of jayce’s hug. he walks away from jayce because he can no longer feel the affection that kept them together, and he sees no logical point in remaining when they have no common ground anymore. he might not be a machine externally, exactly, but his mind certainly isn’t human anymore.
#you KNOW he was seeing visions in that coma. he knew exactly where to go and what he was going to do#even before this he had so little self worth. he saw himself as only being worth as much as his inventions.#he never saw himself as someone worthy of love; he barely saw himself as anyone at all#the only person he KNOWS saw him as more than that is dead and it’s his fault#and waking up and finding out what jayce has done only cements the fact he cannot trust jayce to do what he himself thinks is right#there’s no way he could stay with jayce and do what he needs to do to help the zaunites. at least in his mind anyway#sighhhh. anyway i will probably have to write fic about this tomorrow lmaooo#arcane#jayvik#arcane s2 spoilers#p
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kim foxja... yoo joonghound......... and biyoo (already perfect creature)
#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#joongdok#biyoo#ever makes art#biyoo..... p-piyoo..? a baby chick.... gahhhh!!!#dont mind me. just doodling creatures until i have time to properly read more O(--(
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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FoM (fields of memes (pt1))
#aka i fuck around w rendering n coloring all day long :P#or just expel the ideas that have haunted me for a week#ive got a lot more of em help#fields of mistria#fom march#fom hayden#fom valen#fom holt#fom dell#my art#guys the fixation sure do be hyper or whatever#i need to like. slow down a little before i run myself into the ground 😭#dragging my ass away from my desk to watch jjba is what ive been trying#anyways do you like my shoe hcs for holt n dell :3c
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nothing will ever live up to the moment when after devouring over 250 pages deeply immersed in the characters and story and after the emotions of the proposal I reached the very end of the letter that turns everything on its head only to find out that Mr Darcy's name is Fitzwilliam
#most brutal breaking of immersion ever#i have never since been taken out of a story more#but at least it was very funny#sorry darcy i love you#jane austen#pride and prejudice#mr darcy#fitzwilliam darcy#pride and prejudice book#p&p
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Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️
To everybody except Hesh, I guess
#hesh looking into the camera:#it’s the ghosts annual morale boosting party and they are pretending it’s their wedding I can’t do this anymore#they had riley bring them spare grenade pins as rings I have never been more embarassed in my life#call of duty ghosts#call of duty#keegan x logan#logan x keegan#david hesh walker#logan walker#keegan p russ#riley the dog#cod logan#cod keegan#cod hesh#cod riley#suggestive#walruss
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hear me out
(bonus sister philippa)
#if ppl like this maybe i’ll draw them together hehe just girls doing girly things together#or just do more sister phil in general#however if this is a flop i’m not drawing this fuckass outfit ANY more than i have to#like detailed anyway#ugh it’s 3am#i have tit in 16 hours#an entire apartment to deep clean#and 5 hours to sleep before i need to get shit GOING#why do i procrastinate everything#whatever at least i got some good art out of it#art2 and craft2#phanart#amazingphil#phil lester#move over sister daniel it’s time for#sister phil#or sister philippa ?#i feel like philip is a priest like father daniel doesn’t work either tbh he’d be father dan#or maybe pastor dan#ew no actually i knew like 3 pastor dans#WHY AM I YAPPING GO TO SLEEL#p#dnp#dan and phil
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yooo who chibified my ntt girls
#me i did#:P titan brainrot atm ........#i love them#koriand'r#starfire#kory anders#donna troy#wonder girl#troia#raven#dc raven#teen titans#the new teen titans#the guys might come a bit later#also#robin or discowing this is the question....#ash's doodlings#dc fanart#actually expect more titans art soon#i have. a lot of plans
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wretched willis makes a not-as wretched return!
#trypo-p#tf2#team fortress 2#digital art#my art#trypo.png#artists on tumblr#tf2 scout#scout tf2#tf2 sniper#sniper tf2#requiem for a pizza#I have NO idea how to render but I tried it out and it turned out… relatively okay?#obsessed with how I drew sniper though. cannot get over it…#sniperscout#speeding bullet#well kinda#since its requiem for a pizza they’re more like homies but they can be gay if they want!!!
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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Forgot to post this ! Fave ship from each region
+ hc that thoma had a childhood crush on jean (more admiration tho but I think it is cute)
And also..
Hear me about sun and moon archon...
#my art#genshin impact#jealuc#beigguang#cylou#charlonette#kinilani#fremillei#kinilani is more queerplatonic but i have nothing else lol#for sumeru I hesitate between haitham/kaveh but I talked more about cylou so... 🙂↕️🙂↕️#for fontaine it was between clorinde/navia and charlotte/lynette#but I also talked more abt charlonette hahfvjzz#cross ship ofc it is fremillei#huh for jean and thoma idk don't think there is ship name#thomajean#???#mavuiei#eivuika#there is so many potential abt mavuiei 😞😞👉👈 /r or /p whatever you want
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Idk how to label this. Wifehunter John?
The idea of possessive/obsessive John manipulating a situation and stealing a wife for himself struck me, so just coughing the idea up while I sneak away for a coffee before I actually have to start work in 20 mins 💖 entirely unedited, abrupt ending
Masterlist l Part Two
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For someone married to his job, he has put quite a bit of thought into what he is looking for in a wife. Namely, that she's already married.
His reasoning is threefold. He can admit to himself, firstly, that it satisfies his need for control. Competency. He's a busy man with a demanding job. Not quite retired yet, no time to build his own from scratch. With this, he gets a wife boxed up and ready-trained. Broken in.
Secondly, the need for control bleeds into his saviour complex. She'll need a shoulder to cry on, someone strong and capable to get her back on her feet. She'll be feeling a little fragile. Needy. Perfect.
And thirdly, it does something wild to his jealous, possessive streak. The idea of taking something precious, of breaking her bond to another man and tying it to him? Delicious. The idea that she used to be someone else's, that he has to imprint himself onto her knowing that in doing so he is erasing the imprint of another man? It has his teeth aching, grinding even as heat rises in his belly. Stirs at him.
The idea swirls lazily in the back of his mind, never quite finding the right time or right partner. He bats at it a few times, lazy cat playing with the notion, seeing how far it can stretch before it snaps. Eyes up pretty things everywhere he goes, glancing down at their left hands just to check, but nothing quite tugs on that string. Until one day it does when he's outfitting the security system at your house.
It's side work. Cash in hand, word of mouth. Something to keep him busy when on mandated leave. Something to keep in mind as his retirement from active duty creeps closer. And your husband is a real piece of work, all blustering braggadocio energy. Young buck, not knowing his place in the herd. Not knowing that he'd be better scratching his antlers off on a tree than going head-to-head with a gristled thing like John.
It's like John's energy, his presence in the house, sends alarm bells ringing in your husband's mind (Be the man. Don't back down. Puff up your chest and strut). And it plays so perfectly into John's hands because your young buck doesn't realise that what he's really doing is fawning. To John. (Look at me, be impressed by me!) He makes his biggest mistake in putting you down in front of him, trying to sidle up to John and create some kind of desperate camaraderie. Ordering you to bring tea to the men at work. Rolling his eyes at your attempts to talk, to ask questions about the work being done. Waving you off so he can stand and watch the proceedings. Like he could supervise. Like he has any clue what he's doing.
Only the promise of the long game keeps John from levelling him with a hard look, from calling him outblike he'd love to.
He hears you both in the in the other room, having swatted the young buck off like a particularly virulent pest. Noisy and bothersome. Not needed - or wanted- in this home. And entirely too stupid to realise that John wasn't being jocular in his dismissal.
You've been scribbling away for the past few days, something occupying your time, keeping you happy and hidden away in the kitchen.
"You're not serious, are you?"
"Well, yes," he hears the slight quaver in your voice before you find your footing. You've got at least a bit of spine. Good. "You said that I should find an occupation. Not just 'laze around the house playing housewife'. This is what I-"
"Oh come on, I didn't mean- You don't think that this is viable, do you?"
"Well... I love gardening. And I'm good at it. And there's no reason that it can't be more accessible for people, especially with the current economic-"
He cuts you off with a scoff. "Dear, just- I don't want you to be disappointed. I think you don't quite understand the time and effort this will take. And you know nothing of marketing, publishing. Why don't you put that away and start on dinner?"
And oh, isn't that delicious. He can taste it now, that idea that has been swirling. It's thick, almost tangible on his tongue. The tension in the house, the bitter lacryma of stifled tears. The slight acidity of words you left unsaid. It has his mouth watering, pupils dilating.
And when he's packing up that evening, tools and materials tucked in to the heavy workman's case, he swings by the kitchen on his way out. Catches the way something is jutting out slightly from the bin, lid slightly askew. When he pulls it out he realises it's some kind of notebook, carefully (lovingly) bound. Pictures pasted, mindmaps and notes and plans scribbled in the margins. Your gardening tips. Kitchen scraps, window boxes, rooftop plots. Urban gardening. It's deeply thoughtful, well researched.
A labour of love, lying in the rubbish.
Sweet, clever little thing. That just won't do.
He leaves your house with a little piece of you tucked away in his toolkit and a nice plan forming. He'll be back, of course, not quite finished with his work. He'd planted a few little links into the system he'd almost installed, projecting not just to the monitor in your home but also in his. Got to keep his eyes on you, keep you safe and cared for in ways that your useless husband can't.
Finding that book was a boon. He'd say it was divinely ordained if he believed in all that. It weighs heavy in his toolbox as he whistles out the door.
Now, how to get you alone and return it to you..
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This idea may have been done before? I'm not sure, sorry! I've seen a lot of possessive John floating around. Tagging @stellewriites because I said I would last time, and you've been so encouraging of my nonsense.
Anyway I've got like 4 long-form WIPs that I'm working on, so I may never actually write this one but thought I'd share since that image set I just reblogged made me feral 💖
#im so tired and its cold dont judge me this friday morning#yeah like i p much only focus on fics and long form but maybe i should post more drabbly things#bc i have so many ideas and so little time#like ideally everything would be at least 10k and beautifully written#but ive only managed 2 long fics and 2 2-3k word snapshots since i joined the fandom in autumn#so yeah anyway here is my man being a possessive unhinged creep#captain john price#john price/reader#john price x reader#john price#cod imagine#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod mwii#báirseach writes
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octavia n rarity would get along :)! rarity does a lot of octavia’s performance looks! since the two run in the same high-end circles they do a lot of shit talking :3
#im making art just for me at this point :P#i want. the background characters to have more to them Sooo Badd#mlp#my art#my little pony#mlp fim#my little pony: friendship is magic#mane 6#rarity#mlp rarity#rarity mlp#octavia#octavia mlp#uhh#mlp anthro#octavia melody
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