#i have literally not slept for an entire day
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TANGLED THREADS [Noah Sebastian x fem!reader, Nick Ruffilo x fem!reader]
COLLEGE!AU
CHAPTER TWO: TAKING THE LEAD SUMMARY: Nick knows. And he won’t let it slide. PAIRING: Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader; mentions of Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader WARNINGS: SMUT, MDNI, 18+ [unprotected p in v, degradation, rough sex, …], no mentions of reader’s name, angst, reader is toxic, toxic dynamics, nick is a meanie but he kinda is right, mentions of nick and reader thinking about noah during intercourse, swearing, its not entirely proofread (ill do it eventually, pinky promise …) WORD COUNT: 2.2K A/N:Holy hell. My brain hurts after writing this. Nick finally made a proper appearance!!! I don’t even know what to say. There is one part left, but don’t ask me when it will come out. Hope you enjoy! Bye bye. READ PART ONE HERE.
You knew it was stupid. You knew you were incredibly stupid for doing what you were doing these past few weeks. You were so deep in this tragedy that the thought of calling your mom had slipped your mind for a reasonable amount of time, but you quickly realized that you were not quite ready to tell your mom that you had slept with two guys in the span of four weeks who, to make matters worse, were also best friends.
You wanted nothing more than to leave what had happened behind you, but for some reason you kept coming back to that one particular moment. Your thoughts revolved around that one night that changed everything. Nick had called you that night to catch up on your day, and you had asked him outright if he was in love with you. You wanted to be the bigger person, wanted to show Noah that you were really just casual with Nick, but when he did not answer right away, you felt something crack inside of you. You liked Nick. Maybe a little too much for your own good.
On the other hand, you really didn't know where to put Noah. You had noticed the way he looked at you before something had even happened between you. You saw how he always seemed a little too close to be just friendly with you. You had noticed the way he looked at you when you were with Nick, and somehow you understood how he felt.
It must have felt similar to the first time you saw him and Nick in that bar. They felt like this unbreakable team. Like a duo that really cared and loved each other no matter what. You had sworn to yourself that you would not try to challenge their bond, but when Nick kissed you just a few days later, you knew it was too late. You were already far more invested than you should have been.
You liked to think of yourself as rational and collected, but you really couldn’t understand the actions you had participated in, these past few weeks. You had sworn to keep your distance, even skipping classes to avoid Noah, but somehow he kept slipping right back into your life. Or literally… into you.
Not once had the two of you talked about Nick as if his name was a curse. But you soon realized that you were stupid to think that Nick would just let it go.
The air in your room was tense as Nick stormed in angrily. There had been weeks of silence and tension since your breakup, but this night would be different.
You sat on the bed, your legs crossed and your eyes fixed on the papers you had to finish soon. You knew exactly why he was here, but you weren't quite ready to face it.
"Please tell me you're joking." Nick hissed, his eyes glittering with anger.
"What?" You asked, your eyes still glued to the screen. Then he threw something at you. You jumped at the impact before examining the piece of cloth. A small piece of black lace with a little heart on the waistband. It was your panties. You vividly remembered the last time you had worn them. You had stood outside Noah's room that night like a desperate little shit.
Your eyes darted to Nick's angry face and back to the garment. Inside you were screaming, but there was also this intense anger bubbling up inside you.
"Could you explain to me why you think it is necessary to snoop through people's things and then barge into my room like that? I have things to do." You exclaimed as calmly as possible while throwing your panties to the floor.
"You know exactly why I'm here. You slept with him, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question, but an accusation that dripped from his lips like poison.
"So, what? The last time I checked, we weren't serious or exclusive." You answered him, the annoyance you felt lacing your words. It still stung. Thinking about how he had gotten to you and how pathetic you were to think he really wanted a real relationship with you. With Noah, things seemed easier. You knew something was there, but neither of you felt the need to talk about it, and you liked it that way.
"He's my best friend, for fuck sake." He said, his eyes cold and distant. If you weren't so sure that this had to do with his ego being bruised, you might have misinterpreted it as some kind of vulnerability.
He took two big steps to stand in front of your bed and leaned down slightly, causing you to close your laptop. "You knew it was wrong. You knew how he felt about you."
You quickly got up from your bed and looked him in the eyes with a fake smile. "And now? It's not like it stopped you from fucking me anyway, knowing damn well how he felt."
Nick clenched his jaw as he studied your face. Neither of you dared look away.
"To be honest, it sounds to me like you are jealous that he actually had the courage to show me how he felt." You almost spat the words in his face.
His gaze darkened, but that only made you ramble on. "Or maybe you're angry that he can get me off a lot faster than you can."
"You're a fucking whore, you know that?" He whispered, his breath hot against your skin.
You didn't flinch at his words, but leaned forward, his warmth radiating off your body. "And you're a fucking hypocrite, Ruffilo."
His eyes traveled to your lips for such a brief moment that you almost missed it. Anger was written all over his face, but there was something else you noticed that made you raise your eyebrows in surprise.
"Wait." You murmured, a small and mocking grin finding its place on your features. "This shit turns you on, doesn't it?"
Nick didn't say anything, but didn't dare to move away from you either, while you started to snicker bitterly. "You're seriously calling me a whore when you get all aroused at the thought of Noah and me together? "You're pathetic."
Nick was silent, breathing heavily through his nose as he stared down at you with such intensity that you could almost feel the weight of his eyes as they bore into you. His hands were clenched into fists and before you knew it, he had grabbed your wrist and was pushing you against the wall next to your bed.
“Noah just doesn’t know how to deal with your fucking attitude.” Nick hissed, bringing you so close that your lips almost touched. You met his eyes, the warmth spreading through your body, while your heart still leaped with pride.
"Noah has a bigger dick than you." You answered him, knowing it was childish, but you wouldn't let it go.
"Yeah, that's a lie." He breathed. "Maybe you need a reminder."
"Noah has a bigger dick than you." You answered him, knowing it was childish, but you wouldn't let it go.
"Yeah, that's a lie." He breathed. "Maybe you need a reminder."
With a quick move, he had turned you around. You leaned your hands against the wall for support as you felt Nick's breath against your neck. You tried to stifle a moan as his hand traveled over the curve of your body, but failed miserably. You cursed yourself internally for wearing only your thinnest shorts, making it harder and harder to ignore his touch against your lower abdomen.
“You still wanna tell me about Noah?” He asked as his hand slipped through the waistband of your shorts, teasing you.
“As if you wouldn’t like it.” You tried to say as confident as possible, while his hand slipped into your panties.
“Aw, look at you. You’re so invested in Noah that you’re already soaking wet for me and I didn’t do shit.” He mocked you as his finger teasingly flicked over your clit. A stuttering breath escaped your mouth.
“Fuck you.” You hissed, but you also weren’t thinking about stopping him in the slightest.
“Don’t be like that, princess. We both know you love this.” He snarled in your ear before retrieving his hand, causing you to shiver. You were about to push away from the wall, when you heard him hiss: “Don’t you dare.”
It merely took seconds for him to get you out of your shorts and also get rid of his pants. He kicked your feet further apart, one hand placed on your waist, the other lining up his hard dick at your entrance. You felt precum leak onto your leg, causing you to suppress another moan and you felt how you arch your back in his direction, without even realizing it.
“Look at you. All of the sudden, all desperate for my cock.” He said, as he slowly pushed inside of you. “You can brag about Noah all you want, he still can’t fuck you like I can.” With that he bottomed out, groaning quietly.
You clenched around him. Of course, he was right. But you would rather run into an open fire than admit that to him. You bit down on your lip when he started to move, his pace immediately as brutal as his emotions.
You wanted to say something. You desperately wanted to put him into his place, but you were too busy trying to lower the pleas that left your mouth, while your pussy throbbed with the burning need to come.
You gasped for air, fighting to speak up under the intense pressure of his cock, but nothing besides whimpers came out.
“I see why Noah couldn’t resist you. I think we both like it a little too much to see you fall apart like this.” Nick tried to hiss, but his words came out as a moan. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to moan out his name, as his right hand dropped from your waist onto your swollen clit.
“You sound like the desperate little slut you are.” Nick mocked you as heavy breaths left your mouth. You sputtered, one of your hands leaving the wall to grasp onto his wrist as if it would save you from falling apart.
“Tell me… Who do you think makes you come harder?” Nick whispered in your ear and your mind betrayed you. For a split second you thought about the two of them together. You wondered if they would try to compete against each other. You remembered how Noah’s tongue felt against your clit and with what precision he carried out his acts in comparison to Nick.
The image alone of Nick and Noah sent you flying over the edge. “Nick - I…” you stuttered, your voice strained. “I’m gonna…”
“Come on.” He almost ordered, his finger flicking over your clit in fast motions while he hammered into you. “Come on my dick just like you did on his.”
You let out a sharp cry as your head hit the wall, thighs shaking violently as Nick’s hips went on in his brutal pace. You tensed up, your vision becoming blurry as you moaned out his name in a repeating and pleading manner. Nick, in the meantime, didn’t stop, fucking into you in overstimulating manner.
You felt how his nails dug into your hips, causing you to gasp for air immediately. It felt like something was missing to tip him over, when an idea shot in your head.
“The night…” You breathed out. “when he first fucked me, I was wearing your Limp Bizkit hoodie.” Your voice was so hoarse and quiet, you first weren’t sure if he heard you, but all of the sudden, he let out a groan.
“F-... Fuck you.” He cried out, his hips stuttering ever so slightly, while his grip on your hips became bruising. Without another warning he spilled into you so violently, you could feel each hot splash painting the walls of your pussy.
With a deep breath, he leaned against your back, his head resting on your shoulder.
It took the two of you a few long minutes, before anyone dared to move or talk. You were sure if he suddenly decided to move, you would simply collapse to the ground.
“You know, Noah would-...” You wanted to annoy him even more, but he quickly cut you off. “I swear to god, if you say his name one more time.”
Something in his tone had changed though. He wasn’t as angry anymore as he used to be. If you had heard right, he even let out a small snicker.
It took another minute, before Nick slowly pulled out of you, causing you to take a deep breath. You felt how his cum slowly started dripping down your thighs, but you couldn’t care less.
You silently cleaned up and got dressed again, before facing each other.
“Noah told me, by the way.” Nick confessed, causing you to raise your eyebrows. “He did?”
“Yeah, and we both think the three of us have something to talk through.” Nick then exclaimed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. You started to pick the skin on your index finger, not knowing what was about to come, but you slowly began to nod.
“Text us when you’re ready.”
That was the last thing Nick said, before stepping out of your dorm without looking back.
There was no way you could ignore that now.
dividers by @saradika-graphics
TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 @sitkowski @exitwoundsx
#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fic#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfic#bad omens rpf#noah sebastian smut#nick ruffilo x reader#nick ruffilo fanfiction#nick ruffilo smut#collapsedglasshouseswrites
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♡︎ㅤ! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָstray bunny pt. 03 ⋆⭒˚.⋆
Where Kang Saebyeok is chased by another girl after they were fired from the games.
part three
𖹭.ᐟ Warnings: little angst ; fluff ; no callback to the games ; fem! reader
Waking up the next day was quite an odyssey for Saebyeok, starting with the fact that you felt so warm next to him, that she was afraid to admit how good it felt to have your body close on a cold night. The next problem was that Saebyeok couldn't get out of your arms, you literally clung to him like a koala, tangling your legs with his. Your hands surrounded his waist so tightly that she felt breathless.
"Girl, wake up" she spoke, his voice slightly hoarse, you only let out a moan before moving your face away a little, it was then that Saebyeok noticed a large stain on his shirt... "God, no..." she looked, you had drooled on his shirt while you slept.
"Byeokkie, just a few more minutes" you asked, it was the first time in a long time that you managed to fall asleep without nightmares in between.
"No, and if you don't get away I'm going to kick you" she said, now his voice sounded somewhat annoyed.
You stood up, still rubbing your eyes, you let out a yawn and stretched like a cat, making her let out a laugh, which quickly ended with her covering her mouth. She looked down and found your body, without pants.
"Byeokkie-" you were going to speak when Saebyeok looked at you.
"Where the fuck did you leave my pants?" she said, lifting the covers, but found them a few inches from the mattress.
"I promise I didn't take them off, but they were really big, they probably slipped off" you mumbled still sleepily and without giving it any importance, Saebyeok had his gaze fixed on your legs, they looked so soft and warm, his first thought was to want to touch them, but she quickly looked away.
"Put your clothes on, you can take a shower in the bathroom" she said before walking over and putting on her jacket "I'll go get some food" before you could say anything else, she left, slamming the door.
"Ugh, so weird" you sigh before grabbing your clothes from the day before and entering the small bathroom.
You come out a few minutes later, wearing only your underwear and the small skirt, you're not wearing any shirt. Saebyeok looks up and raises an eyebrow.
"Why are you coming out naked?" She says, looking back to take out the two milk cartons and the small buns.
"I'm not naked, Byeokkie" you say as you happily walk over to her.
"Get dressed" she orders and you quickly run over to her small dresser, taking out a random t-shirt and putting it on "It's rude to wear things that aren't yours" she says, her tone slightly annoyed.
"My t-shirt was already dirty, really dirty, I didn't want to smell bad" you say as you walk over again, leaning on Saebyeok's arm, your breasts pressing against his arm.
"I'll go take a shower, if you want, have breakfast" she mumbles, moving away from you.
After a few minutes after Saebyeok started taking a shower you sat there, waiting for her to have breakfast. The door rang, you winced and before you could open it, two cards slid in, they were exactly the same ones you were given the first time, when you first entered those games. You stared at the card for minutes that seemed like forever; you didn't want to go back, that's for sure, but you knew Saebyeok was going to come back, you hid the cards in your sweater and left it on the floor again.
"Who was it?" She asked coming out of the shower, her hair was wet and looked... "I asked you a question, answer"
"Ah, no one really, when I opened it there was no one there" you murmured, maybe it wasn't entirely a lie.
"Fine" she murmured before you sat on the floor to have breakfast, you constantly looked at her "Is something wrong?" she asked, taking you out of your thoughts.
"Would you go back to the games?" You asked, going straight to what you wanted to know.
"Yes" his answer was simple and concrete.
"But... what about your family? You said you had a brother and a mother captured"
"Precisely because of them I would come back, they need me and we need the money" she explained without going into too much detail "would you come back?"
"I... I don't think so, I have anything here but it doesn't mean I want to die like this, I really enjoy life" you felt his eyes, making you blush "I like to see the colors of the sunset, or listen to birds sing, if I die I would like to die in peace, not with a bullet in my head" as you spoke, Saebyeok looked at you dreamily, she didn't want to die either, but she didn't want to continue with that life either.
"When will they summon us again? I thought it wouldn't take long" she said with some irritation.
"Maybe they'll let some time pass before doing so, so that no one will call the police or something like that" you murmured, knowing it was a lie.
"Hopefully it'll be soon" she said before finishing his breakfast.
"Where are you going?" you asked, standing up.
"I need to go some places" she replied as he put on his jacket "When are you leaving?" although you remembered that Saebyeok had only let you stay for one night, you couldn't help but feel unbalanced with his question.
"I don't know..."
"You should look for a place, I can barely support myself" she said and finally left the place.
You stayed silent for a few minutes, after throwing away the breakfast trash you grabbed your sweater and pulled out the two cards, seriously thinking if your decision was being selfish, but another part of you thought you were just being a good Samaritan, saving Saebyeok's life. You took the two cards and put them in your sweater before leaving.
The world outside didn't change, you walked through the streets, taking some wallets out of people's pockets, you walked around with a cute smile, so people would never think you stole.
As you walked you came across a hostel, Saebyeok was leaving there, you assumed he had gone to visit his younger brother.
"Are you following me?" She muttered raising an eyebrow, his sudden voice startled you.
"N-no! I was just passing by" you justified yourself.
"Good, because I hate people butting into my business" she started walking, without thinking much you followed her, when they approached an alley, she pulled you, putting you against the wall, she took out her knife and put it near your face.
"Byeokkie..." you gulped, you thought that you were already friends, why was she threatening again?
"Just because I gave you a home for one night, doesn't mean I want to have you around" her hands squeezed your sweater "Get away from me"
It was stupid, you knew, but having her so close and with a knee between your legs, wasn't the most threatening position, and you found yourself lowering your hips a little, to feel her contact against your intimate part.
"What the fuck are you doing brat?" she squeezed you tighter, angry at your actions, but slightly blushing.
A voice echoed behind you."Wow, look what I found..." was the voice of the same man Saebyeok had fought at the beginning of the games.
"Mind your own business, moron." Seeing how curious you were standing next to him, Saebyeok pulled you in behind her.
"Communist bitch..." the man approached Saebyeok, trying to punch her in the face, but she quickly dodged him.
"Go home," you heard him say, but you really didn't want to leave her alone.
"Go away, moron!" you yelled at the big man, standing in front of him.
"So Kang already has a girlfriend..." his voice was mocking, he squeezed your chin "Such a little thing-"
"Don't bring her into this, she has nothing to do with it" Saebyeok approached, pushing the man "Go away, Deok-su" she asked, as he took out his knife and passed it over his cheek.
"If you go back to the games, I'll take care of squashing you like a mosquitoes" said Deok-su showing his card and left. Saebyeok looked at him for a few seconds before turning to you.
For a moment you thought he would ask you about the card, but all he did was take your chin, looking at the slight marks on your skin.
"Next time you leave when I ask you to" she growled angrily as they left the alley.
"I didn't want to leave you alone, Byeokkie!" you jumped beside him, hugging his arm.
"It's unsafe for you to stay here, even more so because Deok-su already met you" irritated She caressed her temple.
"Sad~" you pouted, pretending to be sad about having to go back to her.
"You'll be staying at my house until I go back to the games" she said, she didn't push you away from her arm, she just kept walking.
"Do you want some ice cream?" You pointed at a small store "I just stole some, we have enough and-"
"Don't waste your money on stupid things" she said looking at you, you looked up, making eyes at her, batting your thick eyelashes "Idiot girl" without being able to argue, they walked to the store, well, she walked, you were jumping excitedly.
They sat on a park bench, both eating their ice cream, you smiled excitedly while Saebyeok just looked around.
"It's weird that we haven't received the cards yet" she said, breaking the silence, you stayed quiet before answering.
"Or maybe they made a selection of who was more suitable or something like that" you tried to explain.
"That's useless, why would they do that?" she huffed angrily, for a moment you thought about it and put your hand in to take out the cards, but Saebyeok spoke again "I promised my brother that I would bring our mother, now that promise is useless, I don't even have the money, the stupid broker I found robbed me" she threw his head back, you looked at his Adam's apple, it was slightly marked, but it looked very good.
"There are always more options" you said, getting a little closer, you put your legs on the bench, sitting on them "Can you imagine if you died in there? Your mother would think that you stopped looking for her, your brother would think that you abandoned him" you put your chin on his shoulder.
"y/n..." she murmured your name for the first time, without looking at you "If I return to the games... could you promise that you would take care of my brother? Only if you don't return to the games" you stayed silent for a few seconds.
“I would definitely do it for you, Byeokkie” you smiled happily.
“Thanks, silly girl” she tapped your forehead, making you pull away.
“Thanks for not leaving me on the street” you put your head back on his shoulder, sucking on some more of your vanilla and strawberry ice cream. Saebyeok dropped his head onto yours, making your heart feel happy and your tummy feel warm.
I apologize for any errors that may exist
Thank you very much for reading, I promise to do my best for this story, hehehe
Btw, how do you think Saebyeok will react when he finds out that Y/N hid the game cards from him?
Another thing, I will avoid using "y/n" when writing, I don't like to use it much.
with lots of love and sugar, ika (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
ᥫ᭡ tags:
@monroesturnns
@magnificentreviewglitter
#kang sae byeok x reader#saebyeok x reader#kang saebyeok#sae byeok x reader#sae byeok smut#squid game x reader#wlw fanfic#wlw nsft#wlw#wlw post#fem reader#Kang saebyeok x fem! reader
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being an artist means i can have philip wittebane give me a lil kiss gnight
#i have literally not slept for an entire day#i should have#i do not recommend#HDBSFDGNDHFD#i was out of it all day#now i get to sleep#gnight yall#philip wittebane#emperor belos#belos#the owl house philip#the owl house belos#belos fanart#emperor belos fanart#philip wittebane fanart#sona art#my sona#me irl#sona x canon#the owl house#the owl house fanart#toh#toh fanart#my art#self insert#self inserts
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i do think there is something wrong with me because i am realising that my reactions to some of the things that luo binghe did because of his love for shen qingqiu seem to be relatively muted compared to others’. like don’t get me wrong, luo binghe definitely did that like he for sure went there but like at the same time i think he’s so fucking valid and maybe if people just stopped judging the kid for being the teensiest bit obsessed and took the time to understand his hangups then they’d see that too
#literally did not bat an eye when we learned he slept with sqq’s corpse for 5 years#baby boy never did anything to it but take care of it and try to bring his shizun back (and maybe use it as a security blanket)#come to find out people think he’s fucked up for that like okay so you hate traumatised people#let him live he’s just trying to make it to the next day okay#<<<this is almost entirely tongue in cheek#i am kinda making fun of myself too bc i am aware i also do not have a healthy attachment style#but also i’m not joking bc i understood binghe perfectly all of svsss i was right there with him#i should go back to therapy lol#luo binghe#svsss#bingqiu#they just don’t understand his bpd swag#some of you have clearly never had a special person before
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whole time i was supposed to be taking two melatonin gummies for 10 mg and this bottle has been expired since june. girl what were you doing
#🍄.txt#anyway took two at 2am let’s see where this gets me 🚶🏻♀️#can i take melatonin with vraylar actually . i should’ve looked this up beforehand oopsies#it’ll be fineeee#but i slept from like 7pm ish to around 11:30 earlier so i wouldn’t fault the melatonin from not working i guess#especially bc it’s beene course but whatever#< been expired wtf#i literally sleep the entire day regardless of how well i sleep at night so ❤️#have i mentioned i’m having a rough insomnia time because by god i needed someone to knock me out this morning i felt so bad#not fun 🤸🏻♀️ vraylar pls help
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in my richard papen era (hangover so bad it lasted 2 days)
#shut up stef#i literally slept through the entire day yesterday. i havent done that in literal years#i have a headache now and i think im gonna eat glass or something#at LEASR i can eat n drink water though#the secret history
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me: have two deadlines on 15th june
also me the entire day after work today:
#i literally just. slept through tge entire day#didnt have any energy to do anything else#arnold’s laments
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i really couldn't hack it in a city. i let a man holding a 48 pack of water go ahead of me in aldi because duh, i had a full cart of groceries. and there was only one queue open. so duh.
this man thanked me. THREE times. i think i made his day.
#also! very exciting! the cashier who's been my cashier every time i've been called me darling today 🥺#i got a good grade in customer#didn't go to the theater because i barely slept last night so the day would've been too long#but next time i will#aldi + eating predominantly fresh produce = my fridge is FULL#no joke. it has never been this full ever before even when i was a kid#maybe parosmia is a blessing in disguise because i spent about 10 minutes today hunting for a frozen food i thought wouldn't trigger it#just like every time literally could not do it#and decided to just 'make do' with an entire fridge full of fresh food‚ pasta/rice/grain‚ frozen veg‚ plus dairy meat etc#😪 guess i'll just have to keep eating lots and lots of mostly or completely unprocessed meals 🤧#adam talks too much
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seeing that someone I follow was also at anime Midwest makes me wonder if we passed at some point at the con? how many people I follow on Tumblr have I passed in person but didn't know? If you were win cosplay I may have even taken a picture with you? Small world huh?
small world! :V i was not in the cosplay contest as a cosplayer, but my brother was and you can spot him from a mile away (HE WAS IN THE CONTEST AND WON BEST PROP AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SHOVE IT IN EVERYONES FACE HEEHEE)
(... if you saw a scrungy looking lilith clawthorne guiding him around like a blind puppy because he can't see for Shit with this thing on, dat me :3)
#liz blogs#anime midwest#amw#cosplay#armor#WE BUILT THIS TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT ITS VERY COOL#i painted a lot and made some of the accents hhjsdjfhsdf i am good at weaving and braiding barbed wire And Paint#we were on stage together so Anybody who stuck around for the winners portion definitely saw me#i look so unimpressive and awkward by comparison lmfao and it was so loud i couldn't hear shit so i'm just bumbling around like a fool#he said he wanted me with him on stage both as a guide and bc i helped so much#this was mostly unpainted 1am the night before the con and he said if it weren't for me it wouldn't have gotten done#i paint Fast#he did not. sleep. he was up All night finishing it then he slept 40 minutes in the car and Conventioned all day#he made my cosplay too though but he made it before anime central a few months ago#dudes dedicated. he deserves it#he literally added all that fur. friday night. in the hotel room. after wearing it all day. no sleep. dudes cracked hes insane hes batshit#the blade glows orange through the cracks but the battery died after his performance </3#i did not need to spend this entire post yelling about my brothers cool costume but i did actually because it IS very cool#giant glaive! a gun on his back you can't see here! the knife in his pocket! three fucking props he is NUTS#... i forgot i also mostly painted the other two props <3 that was me also#i can't foamsmith for shit but by god can i paint#.................................................. anyway! yeah maybe we saw each other 👁👁
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the way my body just refuses to fall asleep any night before im back to work after 2+ days off… why
#I’ve never had insomnia in my life#and now it’s like I worry I won’t get enough sleep to feel good for work the next day so my body reads that as anxiety#and I can’t fall asleep the entire night#it’s 6am and i just laid in bed with my closed drifting in and out of dreams since 10pm#that’s such bullshiiiiiit#like I’ve tried cbd to help with this#I fucking bought melatonin gummies#but nope#without fail the one night a week I will now never sleep on is Sunday#or in this case last night cause I was sick and had to take the last two days off#even keeping a consistent sleep schedule on the weekends doesn’t help#it’s getting fucking exhausting#the last time I slept for even a few hours on a night like this was bc I sobbed out of frustration and that made me tired enough to pass out#that ain’t good lmao#anyway idk what to do I’m probably going to quit my job soon because of how it’s affecting me outside of work#I actually love my job believe it or not#but I need to sleep#I’ve slept like a fucking baby the last like 8 nights too#so it’s literally just when I have to work the next day after I’ve been away for a couple days- weekends included#STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID#anyway I hope I’m not totally miserable today running on zero hours of proper sleep#happy wednesday#rant
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ok no dicking about now im going into exam mode
#have decided i will have to actually revise at night now#instead of coming home after school and immediately just lying in bed#also trying sleep restriction therapy in a desperate attempt to stop waking up in the middle of the night#like i feel way better sleeping for the same time but uninterrupted#so if i try for 6.5 hours every weeknight and like 9 on the weekends#that'll be better than getting like 4/5 every day and being miserable even though i tried to go to bed at 9.30#at least thats my thought#i think the final straw was the day before the maths trip when i slept for like 4 hours and had a migraine the entire time#the train home was literally torture#but yeah anyways#really trying for these exams#also if i get all a*s they'll have to give me academic colours..#i was one of the ones on the shortlist the first term but i didnt get any of the excellent effort grades.#and im not going to start talking in class now so.#have to rely solely on the grades#also the fact that this is one of the main factors in predicted grades#just need to focus on chemistry and maths#physic will be fine as long as i wrap my head around waves
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ok, hi i've rested for a bit now let me get back into my drafts <3
#( &&. stfu cassie )#i literally slept the entire day n my mom came over and gave me medicine sjdcjvn#fun fact i live next door to my parents/childhood home jsdnnjv#no longer have a headache so there's that lol
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And we are back on the air folks!
#radiorambles#I'm so sleepy and i literally SLEPT THE ENTIRE DAY#anyways i sleep again now I got things to do and I got things to write and I got ocs to draw for a a thingy I'm writing#also I've been listening to roleplay asmrs aND they oddly enough help me sleep#and they have also infected my dreams because tell me WHY I dreamt rhat I was working at an old navy in the back waxing packages [???] with#a emo anime guy I was apparently dating?? he was a sweetheart though#it was a weird dream but like#green flag old navy emo boyfriend I guess??#i want cornbread#and a cucumber salad#THOSE ARE THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO CRUNCHY#cornbread and cucumber salads best combo yum yum
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I got home from seeing my friends around 10 pm and immediately went to bed, and since insomnia is a thing in my life now, I couldn't sleep past 1:30 am. feeling a little crazy rn
#I'm EXHAUSTED but I can't bring myself to sleep#like headache and nausea exhausted#so much has happened this weekend#like literally so much#job offer. sisters birthday party with like 12 annoying friends of her walking around MY house#catching up with my best friend because my sister forced me to invite her so I wouldn't be alone (great to see her but also. social battery#finding out about matthew and having a mental breakdown bad enough to text my ex best friend#not sleeping at all because I was texting her all night#and then spending an entire day talking shit at the mall with my friends from flight attendant school#THAT'S MORE THAN I'VE DONE IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS!#and I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night since last tuesday#I should probably just take today off to sleep all day#otherwise I'm gonna get sick#I don't really have anything to sort out until next week at least so. I'll use this last free week to sleep a fuckton during the day I gues#rambles*
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Hey I've just remembered that consistency is something that doesn't work for me and trying to retain a semblance of consistency chasing that ideal of a so called 'good' and 'better' way to live is actively causing me harm and literally is not worth it. The most consistent time in my life was the best because I let myself be inconsistent on every single thing and didn't keep fighting a sleep pattern that I know I can't beat backwards, and let move on its own. I passed my first year of uni like that. Tumbled out of uni on the second because I kept. Fucking. Fighting. This endless. Losing. Battle.
This is just me complaining about how I have to keep learning to live my life in a way that works for me. But I suppose this is a reminder to you guys that aiming for a better way of life is best done one your own terms and working with yourself, not against yourself.
Great life advice? Maybe! Not lived long enough to know lmao but I know forcing myself to be a specific way despite knowing what I know about the struggles those cause isn't fucking worth it if it hurts me more than when I didn't.
#it can't possibly be worth it...#firefly life#like!!! why should i have to be consistent on everyone ELSE'S terms???#why isn't it enough to be consistent on MY terms??#fuck this shit.#literally best year of my life was that first year of uni#i only had to be in the lessons like... three or four days a week??#I'd miss entire weeks becuase of my inconsistency and never put a full one in ever i don't think#i wasn't tracking#and i still passed with flying colours!!#because i worked with it!!#i let myself sleep when i needed to sleep!!!#i went out and did shit!!! so long as I'd done what needed to be done#it didn't matter!!!#if time vanished on me?? it was fine!! i could just join the lesson at lunch!!!#if i slept through the alarm and then brain fogged for hours?#that's okay. so long as i know what to study later and what assignments need doing#I'm fine#and that fucking#IMPROVED my self control.#AND my life.#why i stopped doing that is fucking#BEYOND me man
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he's a ten but he...
premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.
characters. dorm leaders
content. gender neutral reader
malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)
"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"
"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"
he blinks, then shrugs.
like i said, has NO sense of space.
if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.
if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!
cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.
if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.
(I wish I could be that unbothered.)
lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.
^ totally has his own album full of pictures.
if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯
since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.
while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)
"child of man, have you slept?"
*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.
"WTF."
not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?
idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')
user: where tf r u??
ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?
user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES
unintentionally stood you up 💀
you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.
ghoul666: we do??
user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.
ghoul666: NO PLS
ghoul666: HELLO????
next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.
in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭
though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...
big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(
with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.
if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.
ghoul666: can we not go there
user: 😐
user: you are testing my patience love
ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)
ghoul666: how abt
ghoul666: mimic together? call
user: sighs
user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you
queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.
the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.
"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.
unsurprisingly does carry you.
asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)
vil (frets over you way too much.)
"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"
"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"
"I love you but please give it back—"
"I love you too, and no."
disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)
looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!
and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..
*shows up literally half an hour in*
why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)
vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.
oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..
you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.
if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!
you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.
"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"
you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)
vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."
you sigh.
"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."
vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."
"... I feel offended."
"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."
after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.
the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)
epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)
"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"
"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."
rook giggles away.
kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)
"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?
you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.
"a gift!"
"wait why does it say lot 111--"
as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.
but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..
fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.
after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.
"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"
"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."
if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...
( ^ it is btw.)
kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.
he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)
you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?
the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.
was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.
bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.
even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.
"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"
"for them! ;D"
"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"
"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"
you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...
(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')
azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)
"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."
"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"
"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."
pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.
now he won't go last 50!
ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.
last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.
love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.
but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*
but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.
who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..
yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.
they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.
one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?
...
they do look like they've seen some though..
jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)
long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.
"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.
azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"
he praises himself for his quick thinking.
COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)
then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.
it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.
you screech. "JADE PLEASE."
the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."
"AZUL."
"... only on a condition of course."
frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.
'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'
actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?
leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)
"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."
"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."
"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."
to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.
there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.
rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.
and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?
leona's work no doubt.
you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.
if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.
at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.
it goes something like;
"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."
a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.
you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.
...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.
"because you care about me?"
"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"
you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"
he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."
...
...
see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.
next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.
"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.
"really?" <- you, confused
riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)
“I'm just a little busy.”
“I understand,” riddle says.
“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.
“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…
“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point.
for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.
that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)
you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.
he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.
but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.
…busy…
riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.
somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.
“THIS IS ABSURD.”
and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)
that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.
everyone noted to steer clear.
and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’
“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.
he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)
guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite.
“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.
“i thought you were busy.” he adds.
your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.
he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile.
“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”
“no!”
silence.
“no.” he repeats, weaker.
“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?”
he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”
you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”
so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,
so cute…….
#ㅤ◜◡◝ . . signed !#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland scenarios#twst fluff#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil shoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#riddle x reader#azul x reader#kalim x reader#malleus x reader#idia x reader#leona x reader#vil x reader#gn reader
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