#i have like 2 things i need to work on but instead i did this

[blueberrybirdsworld]

Out of frame 2/4

Summary : Y/N and Lando Norris have been together for three years. Their relationship is real, steady, and full of quiet love but always behind the scenes. While fans know they’re a couple, Lando has never posted about her, avoids public displays of affection, and never mentions her in interviews. At first, Y/N understood. She believed it was about privacy, about protecting what they had. But over time, being constantly left out of frame has started to hurt.

Genre : angst, SMAU

Pairing : Lando Norris x reader

Faceclaim : @suanbeiii

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

@landonorris 📍Tokyo, Japan

Incredible night. Thank you to everyone who came out to support us. Big things coming 🫡

@_user1 he really posted all his friends but not his gf again... yikes

@_user2 is Y/N not in Japan with him? 😭

@_user3 nah this is getting embarrassing at this point. she literally always supports him and he can’t even tag her once??

@_user4 QUADRANT IN JAPAN LET’S GOOOO🔥

@_user5 the helmet is SICK omg 🔥

@_user6 weird how he never has a problem posting the boys 👀

@_user8 so hyped for this drop!! love seeing quadrant going global 💥

@_user10 where’s the queen?? y’all okay??

@_user11 y/n deserves a man who posts her like she posts him. period.

@your_username 📍Monaco

Girls can buy themself flowers too 💐

@_user1 wait. no japan trip for y/n this time?

@_user2 something’s off. they never miss a race weekend together 😶

@_user3 how is she real 😭😭 Lando you better be sending her flowers too!!

@_user4 the softest prettiest queen 🩷 Lando won the lottery and acts like he forgot

@_user5 Lando… be fr. how do you not post HER???

@_user6 she looks like a dream. if my gf looked like this I’d post her every 5 minutes lol

@_user7 you’re literally the prettiest person I’ve ever seen I can’t even hate you I’m obsessed 🥲

@_user8 i don’t care what’s going on but if he lets her go… we need to talk, Lando 😭

@_user9 okay but where do I sign up to be your girlfriend if Lando’s slacking??

@_user10 I hope he knows what he has. because the rest of us DO.

Texts messages

Lando You didn’t like the flowers I sent you?

Lando Seriously, Y/N? That post? What is that supposed to mean?

Y/N It means exactly what it says.

Lando So you ignore my apology and post something that makes it look like I did something wrong ?

Y/N You sent flowers. That’s not an apology, Lando. It’s a gesture. A pretty one, but not what I needed.

Lando You always want more. It’s never enough with you.

Y/N Because you don’t listen. I told you how I felt and you acted like I was being dramatic. I didn’t ask for a parade. Just for you to acknowledge me

Lando So you skip the race, don’t say a word for days, and make me look like an idiot online?

Y/N I said I had work.

Lando No. You said “don’t worry about it.” That’s code for “figure it out or I’m gone,” right?

Y/N You want to talk about code? Because not posting me, not bringing me up, not defending me when people speculate, THAT’s a message too.

Lando I thought keeping us private protected you

Y/N It doesn’t feel like protection, it makes me feel like a secret

Lando This again…

Y/N Yes. Again. Because you keep brushing it off like I’m asking you to tattoo my name on your forehead

Lando You want public affection. Fine. But maybe you could’ve talked to me instead of putting it on Instagram?

Y/N I tried to talk. You shut down. You always do.

Lando Because every time I mess up, you make me feel like I’m never enough

Y/N And every time I open up, you make me feel like I'm too much

Lando Right. Okay. Here we go.

Y/N Yeah. Here we go. Again. You don’t want to make the effort? That’s fine. Your loss.

Lando You know that’s not fair

Y/N Neither is loving someone who makes you feel invisible

Lando I have a race to focus on.

Y/N Enjoy it, Lando.

Lando Sure.

@F1LiveMoments 🎥Live interview moment of Lando at the Japan GP

Interviewer: “We didn’t see your girlfriend this weekend, is she not in Japan with you?” Lando Norris: laughs “Which girlfriend?”

@_user1 nah “which girlfriend” is CRAZY??? like are you trying to be single or stupid 😭

@_user2 he really said that on live TV… with a mic… and a camera… okay.

@_user3 and this is the man she’s been flying around the world to support in silence 💀

@_user4 he better deactivate, apologize and send 400 roses

@_user6 this girl has been nothing but quiet and supportive and he humiliates her like that? I’d be GONE.

@_user7 you can’t be “private” and also crack jokes like that… pick a struggle 😐

@_user8 and then men will say “why is she upset with me” like sir… you said WHICH GIRLFRIEND

@_user9 his media training just packed its bags and left the building

@_user10 @your_username deserves BETTER. we’re all saying it.

@_user12 this man’s idea of romance is “which girlfriend” I can’t breathe 😭😭😭

@your_username 📍Monaco

Sunday ritual 🧡

@_user1 she still supports him after that interview?? I’d be EMBARRASSED

@_user2 baby you didn’t see the clip, right?? pls say you didn’t

@_user3 I have to respect the loyalty but girl… the way he said “which girlfriend” like it was nothing 🤡

@_user4 wait… WHY is she still watching him like this?? I’m actually speechless

@_user5 this is such a sweet post but… after that live interview 😬

@_user6 girl did you see the interview from yesterday 💀

@your_username which interview?

@_user9 oh no oh no oh no 😭😭😭 she doesn’t KNOW

@_user10 this one comment just ended their relationship for real

@_user12 NAH IM SCARED. SOMEONE TAKE HER PHONE AWAY

@_user13 Lando better call her RIGHT NOW because this is about to go so bad

Texts messages :

Y/N “Which girlfriend?” Are you fucking serious right now?

Y/N Was that funny to you? Was humiliating me on live TV was what you needed?

Y/N You really went out there and said that like we’re nothing. Like I never existed.

Lando Y/N... Don’t do this.

Y/N Don’t do what, Lando? Get mad that my boyfriend made a joke like he doesn’t even know me?

Lando You didn’t want to come to Japan. You literally said you needed space What was I supposed to do?

Y/N NOT JOKE THAT YOU HAVE MULTIPLE GIRLFRIENDS ON LIVE TV MAYBE? Just a thought.

Lando It was sarcasm. The interviewer caught me off guard

Y/N No, what caught you off guard was the reality of being called out for once

Lando I didn’t mean it like that

Y/N You never do. That’s the problem.

Y/N Everything’s a joke or a deflection or a fucking PR-safe answer You don't even realize how much it hurt. You made me feel invisible

Lando You ghosted me for a week. You turned down my calls, ignored my flowers, and posted some cryptic caption like I never tried

Y/N Because sending flowers isn’t trying, Lando. It’s damage control

Y/N I was begging for real effort, for presence, for proof that I matter to you

Y/N And you know what you gave me? A joke about having multiple girlfriends ??

Lando It was a stupid moment. I panicked

Y/N God, do you even hear yourself?

Y/N You panicked and defaulted to disrespect. That says more than anything

Lando Okay well maybe if you were actually there we could have talked like normal people.

Y/N Don’t flip this on me.

Y/N I didn’t come because I was hurt, Lando. I needed space to breathe, not to be mocked globally

Y/N You know how hard it’s been? I kept telling myself you just needed time, that you were scared. Or shy. Or private

Y/N But maybe you were just comfortable keeping me secret, comfortable not choosing me when it’s inconvenient

Lando That’s not true.

Y/N Then prove it

Lando I’m trying to...

Y/N Trying would’ve been not letting those words leave your mouth.

Lando I messed up, okay? I didn’t think. I was tired and pissed...

Y/N No. You chose the words.

Y/N Enjoy the rest of Japan. Don’t worry about me.

Lando Y/N…

Y/N No. Fuck you, Norris.

Taglist (closed) : @angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @lilyofthevalley-09, @esw1012, @its-me-frankie, @linneaguriii, @ezzi-ln4, @rlbmutynnek, @actuallyazriel, @sofs16, @thulior, @sltwins, @henna006, @stylesmoonlight12, @lilaissa, @sideboobrry11, @l3thal-l0lita, @lorena-mv33, @ispywlittleeye-blog, @lesliiieeeee, @sageskiesf1, @adynorris, @curlylando, @rebelliousneferut, @justcharlotte, @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies, @emneedshelp, @lando-505, @yukimaniac, @sashisuslover, @f1norris04, @hi26loveie, @bunnisplayground, @nina481, @reallifemermaidprincess, @cars-and-frogs, @delululeclerc, @txmhxllqnd, @lydia-demarek, @destinyg237, @rhaenyrasversion, @sarascabiosa, @readz4u, @tvdtw4ever, @mynameisangeloflife, @teti-menchon0604, @suns3treading, @op814kitty, @prettyboyroseberg, @willowsnook, @ariesandwolves, @clarksgf, @knivesdoingcartwheels, @pinklemonade34, @fat-meh, @tiaajosephin, @landosbabe4, @easy4, @jule239, @mercrussell, @skylandori, @ryuucollapse, @nickie-amore, @fairyjinn, @seonaw, @mattslovelygf, @strawberrylov-er, @linnygirl09, @dilflover44, @bell1a, @f1fantasys, @sillyfreakfanparty, @janonymus0, @taetae-armyyyyy, @charlesgirl16, @angstynasty, @jules-bea2308, @afternoonarchive, @itsbieberxholland, @rexit-mo, @chlmtfilms, @vampgege, @mochimommy2002, @budgetcupid, @lemon-stvrrr, @bell1a, @taebearyoongs, @hazzasmunchkin, @sainz0fthetimes, @didaaa4, @madelyn2000, @il0vereadingstuff, @march32nd, @chlmtfilms, @literallysza, @cheapdocmartens, @wolfstarsimpxx, @pretzelcat4-blog, @larya810, @6-noir, @urfavftoomie, @ficr3ccs, @strawberrylov-er, @wosof1, @behindmygreyeyes, @justheretoreadthxxs, @pinklemonade34, @ninass-world, @landosbabe4, @leclercdream, @raynetargaryan2,

[bi-galacticgargleblaster]

Perspective from someone working in the UK railway industry on what doing this right looks like:

The year is 1988. A train driver passes a green signal near Clapham Junction and is alarmed to find a stopped train directly ahead of him. This should *never* happen. There is no time to stop the train. It slams into the back of the train in front, causing both to veer off the track and onto the adjacent track, where a train travelling in the opposite direction collides with the wreckage.

35 people are killed. 484 are injured. It is one of the worst railway incidents in UK history.

The direct cause was that someone doing work on the signalling system had re-wired something in a non safe way. Instead of cutting out the old wire completely and insulating the ends properly, he had cut one end, pushed it to the side, and wrapped a bit of old insulating tape around it. During further works, the equipment had been jostled in such a way that the loose wire lost its insulation and moved, making contact with something it wasn't meant to make contact with, and ultimately causing a signal that should have been red to show green.

There was a massive investigation, led by Anthony Hidden, that found the man responsible for the wiring. This man accepted full blame for the incident and tried to take full responsibility. But Hidden kept digging. He found a culture around health and safety, working conditions, and training that needed to be completely overhauled.

The guy who did the wiring had been working 7 days a week(!) for the past 13 weeks(!!) because the resignalling project he was on was understaffed and under incredible pressure to finish on time. Overtime was "voluntary", but was also well paid and uncapped, leading to people working ridiculous shifts for unsustainable lengths of time. The time pressure for the project also meant that there was limited/no testing or supervision of the work being done. The guy's supervisor was out on track assisting with work instead of supervising it, and there was no independent follow up check of the work. Training was hugely variable and involved inadequate competency testing. People would join British Rail, be told what to do by their supervisors for a few years, then be assumed to be competent and could start telling other people what to do. If your supervisor cut corners, then you would cut those same corners, and teach anyone you trained to cut them too, because there was no culture of checking against the actual processes and making sure they were being followed.

So what happened next?

Anthony Hidden releases his report and lists 93 recommendations for change. One of the biggest ones was that people working on safety critical infrastructure should only work up to 12 hours a day (this is inclusive of travel time to and from site), 13 days out of every 14, and 23 days out of every 28 (eg you must have one day off every 2 weeks and at least one full weekend a month). Supervision and testing of work was made compulsory. Regular refresher courses were introduced to make sure technicians kept their skills up to date and in line with best practices. Better reporting and project management systems were also introduced.

The guy who did the wiring that led to the incident was not charged, because the whole system was at fault.

Privatisation changed a bunch of things, and some processes have shifted and advanced in the years since, but the overtime rules have remained, and the company I work for does an annual safety brief about the lessons identified in the Hidden report.

It's not perfect, but the UK railway is one of the safest in the world for both passengers and railway workers, and that is in large part down to the investigation and report following the Clapham Junction incident. This is why it's so important to keep digging and look at the whole picture leading up to incidents like that, instead of just finding someone to pin the blame on to.

The more I read into reports about industrial and transportation accidents the less I feel like “operator error” actually exists

[crystallizedday]

SO

I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE NEW DELTARUNE CHAPTERS OR I WILL EXPLODE

I wanna primarily talk about my take on the knight’s identity, but I’ll sprinkle a few other thoughts of mine in if I can, cause HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anyway

MASSIVE spoilers for Deltarune chapters 3 & 4.

DO NOT CLICK READ MORE IF YOU DO NOT WANNA GET SPOILED!!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

So

To me, it’s down to Dess & Carol Holiday.

Like

Look at this design.

Those are DEFINITELY antlers.

Toby knows his audience.

He’s poked fun of it in the game before (ie the theorist rant about Mike)

To me, he wouldn’t just include a design detail like that & NOT expect us all to think about the Holiday’s

So either he intentionally made them look like horns

Or it’s a red herring

& I highly doubt it’s the latter.

I DO think there’s a potential red herring, but it’s not in the knight’s design.

SPEAKING OF TOBY KNOWING HIS AUDIENCE & LIKELY HAVING THESE SPRITES HAVE SPECIFIC DETAILS

THOSE HAND HOLES ARE NOT A COINCIDENCE, & I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!!

However, I don’t think it’s as mind blowing as it may seem at first.

Most of the fandom already agrees that Gaster has SOMETHING to do with the plot of Deltarune.

The hand holes don’t feel like something that indicates that Gaster is the knight.

Instead, it feels like it merely connects the knight TO Gaster.

Either the knight serves the former scientist (since there is no knight without a leader they follow)

OR

They BOTH are of equal power, people who were once of the light now prisoners of the dark.

Whether they have the same goal is… not clear.

However, the very fact that we now have solid (even if unspoken & rather interpretive) confirmation that the knight and Gaster ARE related

Is a big deal

Even if we all kinda knew that already.

NOW

Back to the Holiday’s.

I actually played through chapter 3 & 4 myself without looking anything up beforehand.

Yes, I missed some things, but from what I DID see, I first came to the conclusion that Carol, Noelle’s mother, was the knight.

In chapter 4, Kris talks to someone on the phone.

Kris seems to be working with someone who wants the dark worlds to spread & grow, hence why they stop the player from reading the bunker code written inside Dess’ guitar (keep that last fact in mind).

We don’t know for certain who this voice belongs to.

Is it the knight?

Gaster?

The same person Spamton spoke with back before his fall from fame?

It all seemed ambiguous

Until this happened.

Kris tells the person on the phone that they failed to stop Susie from getting the guitar.

The person then says they’ll be “right there…”

Which leads to

You cannot tell me with a straight face that this is a coincidence.

Noelle KNOWS her mom’s work hours.

Why would Carol suddenly come home so early?

If Carol was not the one on the phone, then someone or something HAD to come over to Noelle’s.

The voice specifically says “I’ll be right there.”

Not “I’ll stop her”

Or “I’ll send someone.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Carol is the ONLY person who arrives at the house before Susie’s kicked out & Kris follows her.

Not to mention

Like

Toby didn’t highlight “you” in RED merely to create emphasis.

He rarely does that.

We see him highlight stuff in YELLOW in this chapter, sure

But the only other thing he’s highlighted in red (from my recollection) was when Noelle talked about listening in for the presumed “mouse” while she & Susie wait in Dess’ room

& the red text hinted for you to make noise.

Considering that hint was for YOU & not KRIS (since you’re separated from Kris during this scene)

Me thinks it legitimately means something

& wasn’t just Toby deciding to be a lil funny & switch up his text colors for kicks (even if that WOULD be hilarious…)

THE POINT IS

I highly doubt Carol’s talking to Kris in the above scene, or at least, not JUST Kris.

I think she’s talking to the player.

The “you.”

We know from chapter 2’s Snowgrave route (specifically when you are about to defeat Spamton) that “you” refers to the player, not Kris.

Carol’s line here feels intentional.

ANOTHER INTERESTING THING

This COULD be seen as like

A metaphorical thing

(ie to show how “cold” Carol is toward others)

But considering Noelle’s whole thing in chapter 2

& the background ambiance when she arrives

& how Susie comments on FEELING the ACTUAL temperature drop…

It just feels

Too odd to be purely metaphorical.

Do I think this confirms she is the knight?

No.

To me, it merely shows that Carol is a PART of whatever this whole thing is.

Carol COULD be the knight

But to me, it doesn’t feel as thematically fitting as Dess being the knight.

Cause like

Dess is MISSING.

We don’t know HOW she went missing.

No one hasn’t seen her in quite a long time.

It makes sense that Dess, either willingly or forcefully, became the knight.

& when I say “became”

I mean like

MORPHED into it.

She IS the knight.

It is no suit of armor she can take off.

It is no dark world form she can shed if she were to enter the light world (assuming she ever could).

She IS the knight, & the knight is HER.

She is forever warped by a past event we have yet to see.

Plus

Carol feels like she has a few intentional red herrings that would make fans point to HER as the knight

Mainly the kitchen katana that she apparently uses to cut fruitcake with.

THAT feels like a straightforward red herring

Cause it’s TOO obvious.

Besides

The knight doesn’t wield a katana.

If Carol were the knight, I feel like the knight’s sword would be a lot more elegant looking, more katana-like.

It wouldn’t surprise me to see Carol KNOW about her eldest daughter’s fate & actively be working with her.

…

Also WHY IS THERE A NOTE IN DESS’ GUITAR??

Who put that there?

WHEN did they put that there?

I doubt it was Carol. That feels like a weird place to put a code. She feels like the character to have the code on HER at all times.

The code was likely from Dess herself.

Why was it put there?

To remind Dess how to open it (likely causing her to explore the shelter & later go “missing)?

Or perhaps

Somehow

It was written after her disappearance

As a quiet call for help

For SOMEONE to open the bunker & end the nightmare.

Carol could still know about the code without being the one to write it.

If Kris can spot the note so easily after only looking through the guitar ONCE

We can wager that Dess’ MOTHER, who LIVES in that house, likely found out about it at some point, ESPECIALLY if she truly is a part of the madness somehow.

Assuming this is all true, I wonder if Carol never plucked the note out because doing that would require breaking the guitar in some way, & she does not have the heart to do it.

That idea’s more headcanon-y than anything

Cause I’d just love to have a scene like that play out

Where she mumbled to herself about just getting rid of the damn note

But can’t without hurting the strings

Showing that she DOES still care. She DOES have humanity.

It’s just buried in the freezing cold.

…

… so while this seems like a good ending spot

I wanna say one last thing.

Fellas.

F e l l a s.

The later chapters don’t HAVE to abide by a set formula.

I keep seeing people argue whether this or that was the secret boss

& I’m just like

Fellas

It doesn’t have to match chapter 1 & 2’s format.

Hell, chapter 2 diverted from chapter 1’s format by making IT’s secret boss someone you encounter in game no matter how you play, a stark contrast from Jevil, who you can play the entire game without ever seeing a LICK of dialogue about him.

I think, out of everything, we shouldn’t worry about “who the secret boss is.”

No.

We should be more concerned about the shadow crystals & where they end up.

Cause APPARENTLY

DEFEATING THE KNIGHT IN CHAPTER 3 LEADS TO SUSIE CHIPPING OFF A PIECE OF THEIR SWORD

& WHEN YOU GO TO PICK UP THE SHARD

YOU ADDITIONALLY GET A SHADOW CRYSTAL!!

At first, I assumed the shadow crystal came FROM the sword, but that may not be entirely right.

Even still, I think the crystals either come FROM the knight

Or the knight & the crystals come from the same place.

Now, how specific characters get a hold of it

Is… up in the air.

We see Gerson hand one to Susie in chapter 4.

He tells her that someone likely wanted him to use it, but he didn’t find it interesting, so he never really did anything with it.

Perhaps someone (the knight, Carol, Gaster, who knows) is giving certain Darkeners shadow crystals for some unknown reason.

Whatever the reason is, considering the bosses to get these shadow crystals all tie to EXTREMELY hard boss fights, it’s likely a source of power the corrupts the user, just as it did with Jevil & Spamton.

So

By that logic

I suppose the knight IS the secret boss

But more so that the secret to the boss is that it’s winnable

Which feels

Very hilarious & overall Toby-ish to me, not gonna lie. IWNWODMWOCKSOMXOSMXODCM

But uh

Seriously.

We gotta look at how these bosses connect on a far less shallow level. We can’t be too occupied with interpretive patterns in the chapters’ varying story beats

Cause those story beats aren’t always gonna be repeated.

After all, repeating story beats make the rest of the potential chapters predictable

& I doubt Toby’s gonna be doing that…

Anyway uh

That’s all for now.

…

Ya know

Aside from how we finally got concrete confirmation that monsters bleed (so the whole “when you kill sans, you cut through some ketchup he had hidden away to make it look like blood” debate no longer matters)

Ralsai directly addressing how there MUST be another ending to their story (& suggesting that Toby’s “one ending” claim may be tied to the prophecy specifically)

Dead monsters having the capacity to be “revived” in the dark world, even if we can never be sure if it’s really “them”

THE FUCKING SNOWGRAVE CONTINUATION SCENE IN CHAPTER 4

LIKE HOLY SHIT

But that last one’s for another time

… probably.

For now, imma just

Close off my ramblings here before I spend another 2 hours of my day talking about how these two chapters absolutely DESTROYED my brain.

[mrstsugikunik]

KOKUSHIBO HEADCANONS

Pairings...Kokushibo x Reader

I see him as being really mean with his partner at first. Like stand-offish, doesn’t really talk as much, and no physical touch. Like NOTHING at all. 

The only type of ‘love’ you’ll be getting from him is when you’re around him. He’ll only acknowledge that you’re there and that’s it. Like you’ll just be like: 😐🧍‍♀️Then he’s like: 😐👍

Another example of him avoiding it would be if y’all’s hand would brush against each other he’ll pull away hastily and walk away. And it’s weird too because he doesn’t make any noise when he walks…

So many stares…it’s so unsettling how he will stand or sit in place with all SIX of his eyes staring intently at you. He could almost burn a hole right through you if he could…AND what makes it worse is that he never BLINKS! When he does he frog blinks 🐸 . No one can’t convince me he doesn’t- It adds to the demon characteristics. 

He has long, sharp claws. Period. The anime nor manga depicts him having them but I will. All demons in my head do.

Whenever Kokushibo speaks (which is almost rare in itself — You almost thought he was mute upon meeting him) it lowkey shifts all your organs because it’s SO DEEP. Like why the HELL is your voice that deep, it doesn’t make sense! Sometimes, it scares the life out of you when you think you're alone when you're not. You’ll just be doing your own thing and BOOM 💥 The most intense, heavy, heart shaking voice is suddenly filling the space.

Even when you and Kokushibo eventually become a couple, he will still refer to you by your name. The only time you're addressed as something else is when he’s addressing you as his wife. 

No joke, but I see Kokushibo taking really good care of his hair. He combs thoroughly, washes at least 2 times and conditions his hair and lets it sit for 30 minutes. In conclusion, he has soft, fine hair.

Kokushibo likes complete silence. He likes to meditate and in order to do that silence is key. If you were to make too much noise around him he would open all 6 of his eyes from his meditative state and stare you down until you get the idea. 

👁��👁️

👁️👁️ ⇦Him

👁️👁️

—

You: ....Sorry....😓

He will not show physical affection for a long while. It is not in demons to love especially when it’s their prey of all things. It sometimes bums you out but you understand. When he’s past that barrier it’s awkward at first. Kokushibo did not know how to give a proper hug. He was so stiff, and what made it worse was when he patted you on the back 2 times which were kinda rough. He doesn't mean no harm by it, it's just weird having someone show him affection. 

And don’t get me started on y’all’s first kiss…mans cheeks are literally covered by eyes and you're just looking like: 🤔 Like how does that work? Kokushibo just closes his bottom eyelids and lets you do your thing. 

Random but if you’re lying to Kokushibo about whatever his top eyes will squint in judgement

We know this man is for the most part emotionally unavailable but I think his eyes will give him away before he speaks out his true emotions. Even being with him for quite a while you will learn to pick up on this. From the occasional slight eye twitch when he’s annoyed, to his eyes narrowing in question or irritation, or when he closes a pair or two of his eyes to not get sensory overload.

Please don't ignore him, he takes it to the extreme to where you won't see him for weeks or if he's petty enough MONTHS. He rather you talk it out instead of creating unnecessary drama and tension.

Demons do not need to sleep, like at all. It's really a choice whether or not they do or not. Kokushibo will sometimes indulge on this...One night you had woke up because the heat was getting to you and when you turn towards Kokushibo you had paused to look over him, it looked as if he wasn't even breathing. And to make it even more perplexing is that he sleeps like a mummified Pharaoh. Unmoving, stiff, and very quiet. You of course knew that humans and demons were not the same but seeing them act upon their unnatural ways always was very interesting.

The eyes on his sword do indeed give him secondary vision. It's never confirmed whether they do or not but I think they do. Its canon in my world 🙂‍↕️ If he's in battle and there's a lot going on he will use his sword to his advantage in exterminating the threat faster. He also uses his sword as a means to look over you if he's not there. Its kinda creepy...

If he meditates outside, he would not mind if some birds land on his head.

You had feared when your cycle would come by because you just KNEW he could smell it. And the most EMBARRASSING thing of it all is that he would never mention it at all or give any hints. You: "You're aware of it, aren't you?😣😅 Him:....Yes....😐 Then you'll just stare at him a second or two longer and he ever so slowly turns his head to look at you...

A/N: Might do part 2 sometime in the future...these are hard

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Any tips/advice on how to write a character with bipolar disorder?? 🙏

Writing Notes: Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder - a treatable mental health condition marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy, and behavior.

Not a character flaw or a sign of personal weakness.

Previously known as manic depression because a person’s mood can alternate between the “poles” of mania (highs) and depression (lows).

These changes in mood, or “mood swings,” can last for hours, days, weeks or months.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

MANIA: The “Highs” of Bipolar Disorder

Symptoms of mania include:

heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence;

excessive irritability, aggressive behavior;

decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue;

grandiose thoughts, inflated sense of self-importance;

racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas;

impulsiveness, poor judgment, easily distracted;

reckless behavior; and

in the most severe cases, delusions and hallucinations.

DEPRESSION: The “Lows” of Bipolar Disorder

Symptoms of depression include:

prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells;

significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns;

irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety;

pessimism, indifference;

loss of energy, persistent lethargy;

feelings of guilt, worthlessness;

inability to concentrate, indecisiveness;

inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal;

unexplained aches and pains; and

recurring thoughts of death or suicide.

Types of Bipolar Disorder

There are several types of bipolar disorder. Each kind is defined by the length, frequency, and pattern of episodes of mania and depression.

Mood swings that come with bipolar disorder are usually more severe than ordinary mood swings and symptoms can last weeks or months, severely disrupting a person’s life.

For example, depression can make a person unable to get out of bed or go to work or mania can cause a person to go for days without sleep.

Bipolar I Disorder - Characterized by one or more episodes of mania or mixed episodes (which is when you experience symptoms of both mania and depression).

Bipolar II Disorder - Diagnosed after one or more major depressive episodes and at least one episode of hypomania, with possible periods of level mood between episodes.

The highs in bipolar II, called hypomanias, are not as high as those in bipolar I (manias).

Bipolar II disorder is sometimes misdiagnosed as major depression if episodes of hypomania go unrecognized or unreported.

If you have recurring depressions that go away periodically and then return, ask yourself if you also have:

Had periods (lasting four or more days) when your mood was especially energetic or irritable?

Did you feel or did others say that you were doing or saying things that were unusual, abnormal or not like your usual self?

Were you:

Feeling abnormally self-confident or social?

Needing less sleep or more energetic?

Unusually talkative or hyper?

Irritable or quick to anger?

Thinking faster than usual?

More easily distracted/having trouble concentrating?

More goal-directed or productive at work, school or home?

More involved in pleasurable activities, such as spending or sex?

If so, talk to your health care provider about these energetic episodes, and find out if they might be hypomania. Getting a correct diagnosis of bipolar II disorder can help you find treatment that may also help lift your depression.

Some people with bipolar disorder may have milder symptoms.

For example, you may have hypomania instead of mania. With hypomania, you may feel very good and find that you can get a lot done.

You may not feel like anything is wrong. But your family and friends may notice your mood swings and changes in activity levels.

They may realize that your behavior is unusual for you.

After the hypomania, you might have severe depression.

Your mood episodes may last a week or 2 or sometimes longer. During an episode, symptoms usually occur every day for most of the day.

Diagnosis

BIPOLAR I DISORDER is diagnosed when a person experiences a manic episode. During a manic episode, people with bipolar I disorder experience an extreme increase in energy and mood changes, including feeling extremely happy or uncomfortably irritable. Some people with bipolar I disorder also experience depressive or hypomanic episodes, and most people with bipolar I disorder also have periods of neutral mood.

Symptoms of Bipolar I Disorder

Manic Episode. A manic episode is a period of at least 1 week when a person is extremely high-spirited or irritable most of the day for most days, possesses more energy than usual, and experiences at least 3 of the following changes in behavior:

Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feeling energetic despite significantly less sleep than usual).

Increased or faster speech.

Uncontrollable racing thoughts or quickly changing ideas or topics when speaking.

Distractibility.

Increased activity (e.g., restlessness, working on several projects at once).

Increased risky or impulsive behavior (e.g., reckless driving, spending sprees, sexual promiscuity).

These behaviors must represent a change from the person’s usual behavior and be clear to friends and family. Symptoms must be severe enough to cause dysfunction in work, family, or social activities and responsibilities. Symptoms of a manic episode commonly require hospital care to ensure safety.

During severe manic episodes, some people also experience disorganized thinking, false beliefs, and/or hallucinations, known as psychotic features.

Hypomanic Episode. A hypomanic episode, or hympomania, is characterized by less severe manic symptoms that need to last only 4 days in a row rather than a week. Hypomanic symptoms do not lead to the major problems in daily functioning that manic symptoms commonly cause.

Major Depressive Episode. A period of at least 2 weeks in which a person experiences intense sadness or despair or a loss of interest in acivities the person once enjoyed and at least 4 of the following symptoms:

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Fatigue.

Increased or decreased sleep.

Increased or decreased appetite.

Restlessness (e.g., pacing) or slowed speech or movement.

Difficulty concentrating.

Frequent thoughts of death or suicide.

BIPOLAR II DISORDER. To diagnose bipolar II disorder in an individual, they must have at least 1 major depressive episode and at least 1 hypomanic episode (see above). With bipolar II, it is common that people return to their usual functioning between episodes. People with bipolar II disorder often first seek treatment as a result of their depressive episodes, since hypomanic episodes often feel pleasurable and can even increase performance at work or school.

People with bipolar II disorder frequently have other mental illnesses such as an anxiety disorder or substance use disorder, the latter of which can exacerbate symptoms of depression or hypomania.

CYCLOTHYMIC DISORDER is a milder form of bipolar disorder involving many "mood swings," with hypomania and depressive symptoms that occur frequently. People with cyclothymia experience emotional ups and downs but with less severe symptoms than bipolar I or II disorder.

Cyclothymic disorder symptoms include the following:

For at least 2 years, many periods of hypomanic and depressive symptoms, but the symptoms do not meet the criteria for hypomanic or depressive episodes.

During the 2-year period, the symptoms (mood swings) have lasted for at least half the time and have never stopped for more than 2 months.

Exams and Tests. To diagnose bipolar disorder, your health care provider may do some or all of the following:

Ask whether other family members have bipolar disorder

Ask about your recent mood swings and for how long you have had them

Perform a thorough exam and order lab tests to look for other illnesses that may be causing symptoms that resemble bipolar disorder

Talk to family members about your symptoms and overall health

Ask about any health problems you have and any medicines you take

Watch your behavior and mood

Possible Causes

Experts don't know what causes bipolar disorder.

They agree that many factors seem to play a role.

This includes environmental, mental health, and genetic factors.

Bipolar disorder tends to run in families.

Researchers are still trying to find genes that may be linked to it.

Treatment and Care

Even though symptoms often recur, recovery is possible.

With appropriate care, people with bipolar disorder can cope with their symptoms and live meaningful and productive lives.

There are a range of effective treatment options, typically a mix of medicines and psychological and psychosocial interventions.

Medicines are considered essential for treatment, but themselves are usually insufficient to achieve full recovery.

People with bipolar disorder should be treated with respect and dignity and should be meaningfully involved in care choices, including through shared decision-making regarding treatment and care, balancing effectiveness, side-effects and individual preferences.

The main goal of treatment is to:

Make the episodes less frequent and severe

Help you function well and enjoy your life at home and at work

Prevent self-injury and suicide

A combination of medication and talk therapy is most helpful. Often more than one medication is needed to keep the symptoms in check.

MOOD STABILIZERS. The best-known and oldest mood stabilizer is lithium carbonate, which can reduce the symptoms of mania and prevent them from returning. Although it is one of the oldest medicines used in psychiatry, and although many other drugs have been introduced in the meantime, much evidence shows that it is still the most effective of the available treatments.

Lithium also may reduce the risk of suicide.

If you take lithium, you have to have periodic blood tests to make sure the dose is high enough, but not too high.

Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, frequent urination, tremor (shaking) and diminished mental sharpness.

Lithium can cause some minor changes in tests that show how well your thyroid, kidney and heart are functioning.

These changes are usually not serious, but your doctor will want to know what your blood tests show before you start taking lithium.

You will have to get an electrocardiogram (EKG), thyroid and kidney function tests, and a blood test to count your white blood cells.

For many years, antiseizure medications (also called "anticonvulsants") have also been used to treat bipolar disorder.

The most common in use are valproic acid (Depakote) and lamotrigine (Lamictal).

A doctor may also recommend treatment with other antiseizure medications — gabapentin (Neurontin), topiramate (Topamax), or oxcarbazepine (Trileptal).

Some people tolerate valproic acid better than lithium.

Nausea, loss of appetite, diarrhea, sedation and tremor (shaking) are common when starting valproic acid, but, if these side effects occur, they tend to fade over time.

The medication also can cause weight gain.

Uncommon but serious side effects are damage to the liver and problems with blood platelets (platelets are necessary for the blood to clot).

Lamotrigine (Lamictal) may or may not be effective for treating a depression that is active, but some studies show that it is more effective than lithium for preventing the depression of bipolar disorder.

(Lithium, however, is more effective than lamotrigine in preventing mania.)

The most troubling side effect of lamotrigine is a severe rash — in rare cases, the rash can become dangerous.

To minimize the risk, usually the doctor will recommend a low dose to start and increase dosages very slowly.

Other common side effects include nausea and headache.

ANTIPSYCHOTIC MEDICATIONS. In recent years, studies have shown that some of the newer antipsychotic medications can be effective for controlling bipolar disorder symptoms.

Side effects often have to be balanced against the helpful effects of these drugs:

olanzapine: sleepiness, dry mouth, dizziness and weight gain

risperidone: sleepiness, restlessness and nausea

quetiapine: dry mouth, sleepiness, weight gain and dizziness

ziprasidone: sleepiness, dizziness, restlessness, nausea and tremor

aripiprazole: nausea, stomach upset, sleepiness (or sleeplessness) or restlessness

asenapine: sleepiness, restlessness, tremor, stiffness, dizziness, mouth or tongue numbness.

Some of these new antipsychotic drugs can increase the risk of diabetes and cause problems with blood lipids.

Olanzapine is associated with the greatest risk.

With risperidone, quetiapine and asenapine, the risk is moderate.

Ziprasidone and aripiprazole cause minimal weight change and not as much risk of diabetes.

ANTIANXIETY MEDICATIONS. Such as lorazepam (Ativan) and clonazepam (Klonopin) sometimes are used to calm the anxiety and agitation associated with a manic episode.

ANTIDEPRESSANTS. The use of antidepressants in bipolar disorder is controversial. Many psychiatrists avoid prescribing antidepressants because of evidence that they may trigger a manic episode or induce a pattern of rapid cycling. Once a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is made, therefore, many psychiatrists try to treat the illness using mood stabilizers.

Some studies, however, continue to show the value of antidepressant treatment to treat low mood, usually when a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic medication is also being prescribed.

There are so many different forms of bipolar disorder that it is impossible to establish one general rule.

Using an antidepressant alone may be justified in some cases, especially if other treatments have not given relief. This is another area where the pros and cons of treatment should be reviewed carefully with your doctor.

PSYCHOTHERAPY. Talk therapy (psychotherapy) is important in bipolar disorder as it provides education and support and helps a person come to terms with the illness. Therapy can help between mood episodes to help people recognize the early symptoms follow a course of treatment more closely. For depression, psychotherapy can help people develop coping strategies. Family education helps family members communicate and solve problems. When families are kept involved, patients adjust more easily, are more likely to make good decisions about their treatment and have a better quality of life. They have fewer episodes of illness, fewer days with symptoms and fewer admissions to the hospital.

Psychotherapy helps a person deal with painful consequences, practical difficulties, losses or embarrassment stemming from manic behavior.

A number of psychotherapy techniques may be helpful depending on the nature of the person's problems.

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps a person recognize patterns of thinking that may keep him or her from managing the illness well.

Psychodynamic, insight-oriented or interpersonal psychotherapy can help to sort out conflicts in important relationships or explore the history that has contributed to current problems.

If left untreated, a first episode of mania lasts an average of 2-4 months and a depressive episode up to 8 months or longer, but there can be many variations. If the person does not get treatment, episodes tend to become more frequent and last longer as time passes.

Self-Care. You can also take steps to help yourself. During periods of depression, consider the following:

Get help. If you think you may be depressed, see a healthcare provider right away.

Set realistic goals and don’t take on too much at a time.

Break large tasks into small ones. Set priorities and do what you can as you can.

Try to be with other people and confide in someone. It's usually better than being alone and secretive.

Do things that make you feel better. Going to a movie, gardening, or taking part in religious, social, or other activities may help. Doing something nice for someone else can also help you feel better.

Get regular exercise.

Expect your mood to get better slowly, not right away. Feeling better takes time.

Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.

Don't drink alcohol or use illegal drugs. These can make depression worse.

It’s best to postpone big decisions until the depression has lifted. Before making big decisions, such as changing jobs or getting married or divorced, discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.

People don’t snap out of a depression. But with treatment they can feel a little better day by day.

Try to be patient and focus on the positives. It may help replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression, and the negative thoughts will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.

As difficult as it may be, tell your family and friends that you are not feeling well and let them help you.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Consider the above notes, and then the following tips & advice to further develop your character:

Writing about Mental Health Conditions

Character Development

You can find more details as well as some useful fact sheets in the sources. Speaking with a person/s with bipolar disorder would also lend valuable insight into your story, as well as doing further research on media portrayals of and by people with bipolar disorder. Hope this helps with your writing!

[lunarriviera]

Hi! Hope you're doimg well! I wanted to ask, what do you do when you get stuck when writing? Like, I know I want to go from point A to point B, but I'm stuck at point A and not sure how to get to point B.

nonny i am busting in here all excitedly like the koolaid man at four in the god o’clock of the morning to answer this, because I ACTUALLY KNOW THIS ONE: 

the solution to this issue is, in fact, square brackets. like this: [???]

what? you say. how works this? you say. READ ON I WILL TELL YOU

so right now in the scene i’m trying to pull together/make into prose, from tattered drafts/sentences/allcaps/bullet points/etc., i have three things that need to happen: 1) police will search a suspect’s house, 2) one of them has to find something incriminating, 3) the suspect’s son has to burst in and cause a lot of trouble. those are my B points. but right now, i’m stuck at point A: shen yi and he rongyue are sitting in the car talking about feelings when they need to get out and go do their damn jobs. how do i get them to move. why aren’t they moving. why are they still sitting there talking, this isn’t brunch goddammit.

at this point as a writer, you get to make a decision: EITHER a) your idea about what needs to happen in this scene was all wrong, and the reason you’re “stuck” at point A is that maybe point A is actually a very interesting place for your characters to linger inside, and maybe they really need to be there a while longer, in case they have things to say or do. and point B maybe isn’t the point B you thought it was going to be, but it’s going to be something different (maybe shen yi and he rongyue realize they need backup, or they decide they’re going someplace else to do something different, instead).

OR: square brackets. it works like this. (and by the way i learned this from @seperis because she is literally a genius, thank you sep darling you should know saved my whole entire life.) here is some of my draft to illustrate:

[shen yi and he rongyue saying a bunch of words about feelings and things not related to the case they’re supposed to be investigating]

“I wonder,” said Shen Yi thoughtfully, “what would happen if you just asked her to go for a walk with you?”

[TK]

Shen Yi stopped in front of the painting and looked at it, at first out of habit, and then more closely, as he instinctively stepped back the correct distance to see both the whole canvas at once as well as its technique. From the other room, he could hear He Rongyue and [Name of Her Assistant] doing [something something something]. He still had on nitrile gloves, so he came closer again, to touch the varnish, feel along the grooves of the brushwork. He frowned. This wasn’t a reproduction—this was a genuine [name of painter redacted bc it’s a plot point and a surprise].

[TK]

“What the fuck are you people doing in my house?” came an aggrieved voice from the landing. Everyone turned to look up at the young man standing there, keys in one hand, a cup of iced coffee in the other. He was, Shen Yi realized, Huang Wei, and that was neither unexpected nor a particular problem, but the person with him was probably going to be a very particular problem indeed.

you can see how i gestured towards three different parts of this scene, even though i didn’t finish any of them here and have no idea what the connective tissue will be between them. and i did this by skipping huge wads of prose and just tossing in “[TK]” for now. ”TK” by the way is an abbreviation i learned while working for newspapers/magazines; journalists use it to mean “to come,” as in, “something important is missing here so i promise i will make a bunch of phone calls and get that detail/fact shoved in there before we go to press.” We use TK instead of TC because you can word-search TK and that letter combination isn’t in any english words (or at least very few; anyway i can’t think of any).

at some point, of course, you will have to fill in “[TK]” or rather, i will, here with all the stuff that’s missing—dialogue, action, and description, mostly; i tend not to summarize or use exposition much, but usually default to telling a story in-scene (a time-honored tradition in fanfic). but the beauty of TK and above all, the square brackets, is that you don’t bog down. you don’t go down a research rabbit hole because you can’t remember the name of He Rongyue’s assistant (Xiao something? Feng?) and you don’t wind yourself into knots figuring out how to get them out of the car and into the house. you keep moving, like a shark.

so if you’re stuck getting from A to B? stop trying to get from A to B. just SKIP there, skip to where you want to be. throw in “[something goes here]” so you remember to go back and add it later. if you have a general idea of what goes there, put that instead: “[somehow they get out of the car still talking and head inside. oh wait how do they break the door down. is jiang xue with them?]”—like that.

the trick with any piece of fic longer than, say, 7-8k, is NOT to get bogged down. anything with multiple scenes, really—even if you have, say, five scenes planned for your oneshot, you will find one really easy to write and then you’ll stare at the next one, which SHOULD be easy to write, for eleventy hours, sweating like that gif of jordan peele. don’t do that. just put “[this is the scene where chen fei throws a chair and ruan nanzhu says something cutting and walks out, and that’s the moment chen fei knows he actually likes the bastard.]” then skip! skip, skip. skip to the moment where you know the next thing that will happen! write that part instead! “it’s two years later and chen fei is furious, because he has to see that lovesick look on ruan nanzhu’s face whenever he thinks qiushi isn’t paying attention. the worst part is that lin qiushi is genuinely loveable, so chen fei can’t even hate him. he starts hiding in his room.” etc.

the thing about writing ANYTHING is not to lose momentum, not to get stuck in what novelist robert pirsig called “a gumption trap.” or, as alec baldwin’s character says in glengarry glen ross: always be closing. keep moving! don’t sit in one place too long or you really will get stuck. if you find yourself fussing with a paragraph, or adding more to a scene when you didn’t mean to add more instead of stopping and moving on, or pacing around the house irritated with yourself, drink a lot of very cold water and then SKIP.

skip to the part where you know what happens. if you don’t know what happens, either go for a long walk and think about what exactly Han Juwon or Naruto or Bob the Builder or Taylor Swift or Viktor Nikiforov or Wang Meng or whomstthefuckever would do/say in this situation. after about 15-20 minutes i’m usually either turning around to go home and write it down, or giving myself complicate mnemonics based on trees and street signs, so i have a chance of remembering what i just realized absolutely has to happen next in the story.

in conclusion:

1. [TK!] [square brackets are your friends!] [you can use them!] [to skip ahead!] [and leave a stuck spot BYYYYYEEEE hit da bricks] [and just go to a more pleasant spot where there’s a shady tree and some soft green grass to lie on]

2. …and then later when you take another pass through the document, on some day when you’re mentally fresher and maybe you haven’t read it for a couple days, you’ll find yourself adding a few sentences. or one sentence. or some words. it’s fine. it’s all fine. look we can’t all be out here writing a million words a year. some people do, sure. as writer annie dillard says, some people eat cars. but if you want to write something with some bite to it, some texture and grit and heft, you’re gonna endure some tortuous slowness and a lot of [TK]. so best start getting real comfortable with that now. if you wanted an easy hobby i have some difficult news for you, you picked the wrong fucking one.

3. the reward for your patience with yourself and your writing process will be all those times when you’re driving, showering, cooking, and/or DMing with bestie, and suddenly What's About To Happen Next will hit you like a bolt of lightning and nearly scalp you in the process. holy shit, you’ll say to yourself, stunned. i now know exactly who’s coming through the door with huang wei and it’s not at all who i thought it was. (this jolt of electricity is why people are pantsers, by the way. we suffer through our own cluelessness for an eternity, just to have that one shocking moment of godlike clarity. the crash usually sucks but the high is unbelievable.) (and i say this, but i always have an outline. i just usually mostly ignore it, because apparently my continued survival is predicated on the fact that imaginary people talk in my head and i just write down what they say.)

4. finally i have ABSOLUTELY written fics of every length just to get to One Particular Scene which i wrote first. i wrote the ending of my current long wip really early on, and everything leading up to it has just been me trying to figure out: okay, so what’s it going to take to get them there? in the words of george w. bush, whom i am not much given to quoting, you are the decider. you can decide to write your fic backwards if you want to! write C first and then go back and add B and at the very end A! no one will ever know, it’s between you and your drafts. then you can do what i do, and write an excessively long nervous a/n about it all, when you post.

this got long but tldr just remember: [tk]. love you have fun writing!!! <3 <3

[mullermilkshake]

Just a drive away.

Part 2 <- Part 3 -> ?

Suguru tries his luck again.

Doctor!Suguru Geto x Fem! reader Tags - Blood/ violence/ injury,Knives,Non-con reference(s), implied stalking

<<< For more Suguru content, click this link to go back to the Masterlist! >>>

Keeping tabs was something Suguru Geto did far too well.

Suddenly, Satoru knew more about you than ever, all because doctor Geto was updating him on every little thing he could under the guise of being a ‘good neighbour’.

He caught you in the hallways in the morning before work, and when you got home, claiming he was popping out for groceries or something random you didn’t bother to really listen to. After ignoring his invites to go with him, casual requests for little things like sugar and other stupid, dumbs thing at your door, enough was enough. You were already looking for somewhere else to move to, but you had unfortunately signed a year long lease.

So, you did your best to adapt, to change your routine and make it as erratic as possible just to throw him off.

For a while, you were able to leave two hours before work and walk there without Geto so much as noticing you had left. Provided you snuck out in stealth mode, it often worked. Getting home was harder as you tried to leave early, or again, much later after you clocked out to avoid him. But if he came home before you, it was as though he could sense you a mile away like a anxious dog waiting for its owner.

And then when your routine grew too monotonous and he figured it out, then you would need to change it all up again. Like today.

The car horns quick double toot should have been the first give away, a car in the dark of early morning winter beeping you and driving alongside you like it was crawling with desperation.

“Hey there, I didn’t recognise you. Do you want a lift?”

Seeing Geto there in a dark car was as unnerving as it could ever be. His interior light wasn’t on, he leant out of the open car window so that the orange street light lit his face up instead. His arm hung out the window too to match his blaze attitude. He was crazy to be approaching a woman this early in the morning and in the pitch dark too. You were running the risk already bumping into less than savoury people this time of day, and he just added to the emphasised grasp on your miniature deodorant can in your coat pocket.

If called for, you had no qualms spraying him in the face. Well, scrap that, you hoped you could.

“No thank you. I think walking is good for me.” You were past being cordial with him.

“Come on, it’s freezing. You don’t know what kind of bad people are out this time of morning, it’s safer in the car. I can drive you each morning, the offer is still there, y'know?” He kept the car rolling slowly to match your pace.

You had declined the offer back when he first offered and you would do so now out of pride and the fact that you never wanted to be alone in a car with him again.

“I’m good, thanks.” You made a faster pace and opted to turn down a little side alley to get to the hospital quicker. “This is my turn, I'll see you when I see you.”

“Wait a sec-” You ignored him and heard the car drive off rather aggressively.

Then, you stopped and waited to see if he’d pull back round, but he didn’t, he turned off in the direction of the other side of the alley way as though he’d cut you off.

Idiot. Like you were stupid enough to walk down a dark alleyway with no external lighting to get to work. You’d happily go the long way round and take the extra twenty minute journey than endanger yourself like that. Even if it added an extra hour, you’d still choose the long way.

After the car disappeared, you turned back the original way and took one step- “Hey beautiful, where you goin’?”

At first, you were going to ignore the disembodied voice emerging from the alleyway like an eel from its submerged cave. But with your deodorant can clutched tight, you turned and saw it was one man. At least that’s what the dark showed you for now, for all you knew, it could have been thirty of them in there.

That thought did not comfort you in the slightest, even if it was just one man.

“Nowhere that concerns you. I have to go.” Turning to leave got you three extra paces from the alleyway before the man caught up and got in front of you.

“Hold on there, Doll. I’ve seen yer pretty lil face walking around here, how come y'never said hi, hm?” He was a little taller than you, maybe a few inches and far too close to accurately assess his stature.

But he also had his hands in his pockets too. “I’ve never seen you before, but I really need to go.”

“Woah- it’s rude to walk away when someone’s talkin’ to ya, baby. I just wanna have a lil fun, why don’t you wanna have fun with me?”

You were starting to lose your patience. He was probably on drugs or something. “I’m leaving now.”

"wait a sec-" He grabbed you and didn’t see the little deodorant can you pulled from your pocket. “Ah! Fuck! You fucking bitch!”

It got him to let go, you moved to the side and bolted. A harsh grab on your arm pulled you back and slammed you against the wall with bare gritted teeth and flushed red eyes under the streetlamp. Maybe you shouldn’t have bitten your nose off to spite your face, but getting in the car with Geto seriously didn’t seem all that much safer.

“I wanted to play nice and get to know ya, but then yer fuckin' assault me?” He pulled out a knife from his pocket.

Okay, you were really contemplating your own actions now. You couldn’t move and kept your eyes on the knife hoping it wasn’t going through your sternum, but a plus side was that the hospital wasn’t that far away. Could you make it there before you bled out? Would this psycho do more than grab you before the steel in his hand even made contact-

“Ouch!” You hissed as he dragged the knife across your arm which sliced right through the material of your coat.

Your arm started numbing cold as with the warmth of the blood trickling over your fingers. It must have been pretty deep by the miniature pool of red collecting at your feet. Shit, was this it? Your name on tomorrow’s front page of the newspaper, your death and how it happened. 

Would Geto have guilt for the rest of his life? In honesty, you didn’t care about that, you already knew you should have just gotten into the car with him regardless of what your gut was telling you. Still, it didn’t matter now, your choice was made. 

Now you would live with it. Well… die with it.

His alcohol drenched breath got got close, you screwed your eyes shut and prayed he’d get some divine intervention. Maybe the streetlamp would fall on him and miss you entirely so you could get this wound cleaned from whatever the hell he had on his unclean blade. 

“The next ones goin’ in your throat when I fuck-” he moved away, or he jumped back. 

You did not open your eyes, you could no longer hear him for a second until gasps for air replaced it. The pressure of his body against yours was no longer present and you could breath a little. But where did he go?

“There you are.” Geto’s voice put you on edge, his breathing erratic as though he'd ran a marathon. “Hey- you’re safe now.”

You tensed at his touch on your shoulders, squeezing them and ultimately making your arm throb even more. “Ouch- ouch!”

He pulled back and you could breathe, but you did not want to open your eyes. He took your hand though you wanted to pull it away and shout at him. What the hell was he even doing here anyway- where did that other guy go?

“Your arm, he did this to you.”

“It’s fine, I’ll get it stitched up at the hospital.”

Why were you still just standing there? Geto didn’t let go and it prompted you to pull away but he didn’t let go. “I’ll be fine, I just need to get to the hospital.”

When you opened your eyes, you saw Geto closer than you realised, and the man on the ground was not moving, the knife that was in his hand wasn’t there after. In fact, you don’t remember even hearing a clatter of the metal during the scuffle.

You weren’t quite sure who you were more afraid of now.

“Please- please just let me go to the hospital. Thank you for helping me, but I just need a bit of space. Can I have that, please?”

“Get in my car, I’ll take you. It’s the other end of the alleyway.” So he was waiting for you there.

He stood there open mouthed when you ripped your hand from his and shuffled against the wall to get on your way to the hospital. “What part of space do you not understand? Thank you for the help, but I need a moment.”

You started walking off, nausea washing over you from a traumatic experience. It was the weight of not only this morning, but the whole ordeal with Suguru Geto grew too heavy to bear anymore. You needed space away from him- of course it was Suguru Geto that came to your rescue because he had some weird sort of obsession over you that was entirely unrequited.

“If you don’t get your arm cleaned soon, you’ll be at risk of a lot of things. I have a kit in my car until you get there-”

“I know how infection works, Doctor Geto. I work in a hospital!” You stomped off and surprisingly he didn’t follow you. 

It gave you plenty of time to cry a little and curse a few times until you made it to the hospital where Geto was waiting out the front in his lab coat with his arms folded like a strict headmaster in all of those period dramas you watched. 

Of course he’s fucking waiting for me here, I’m a fool to think he’d just go about his day. 

He just stood there, nothing like his usually warm and sweet exterior smile. This expression was the same one you had seen through your peephole the first night you spent in your new apartment.

Unimpressed and ominous. “Go to my office and I’ll patch you up. Now.” 

His dominance was something you had never experienced and never saw it directed at anyone else either. But for some reason, like a scolded child, you did as you were told and marched on up to the door with Geto’s name and title on it.

“How could you be so reckless?” You barely got your coat off before he ripped into you, slamming his door shut and anxiously running his hand through his hair. “I offered you a lift for this specific reason, I don’t know why you would go down that alley-”

“I didn’t go down there! I turned away as soon as you left and went to take the long way round.”

He threw up his hands and paced towards his first aid box and supplies. “Why? I-I can’t understand why you’re so combative all the time-”

Is this fucker serious? 

“I didn’t want to get in the car with you, how hard is that to understand?! I need space from you breathing down my neck all the time and telling Satoru everything about my life that you see- you don't know me and I don’t want to be your focus all the time. I hate it!”

Geto’s back was to you, his fist gripped so tight on the wall mounted box that it was shaking, his knuckles pale. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

Taking the supplies from the box, he placed them down calmly though you saw right through it. would he throw something if he got really angry, or just shout at you to release the pressure valve on his anger?

He did neither, just placed the supplies on the table and pulled out a seat for you to sit on, which you took with reluctance. “I care about you.”

What? 

“You don’t- How- Listen, you have a funny way of showing it.”

“How?” He sat down too, pulling his gloves on. “How do you not see that yet? I just got you away from a man who was going to hurt you more than just this.”

You looked at your arm he pointed to, it was pretty deep. But that didn’t negate the fact that your gut screamed around him. “A man that looked like you beat senseless. The only reason I was in this position was because you make me nervous and so anxious all the time. If you hadn't slowed me down this morning I wouldn’t have been around that man. You’re bleeding into my life, Geto- where is that guy anyway? Has he gotten medical treatment?”

He mustn't have assumed that you noticed how red his knuckles were in your traumatic haze, or that he simply didn’t care. This was not normal behaviour from someone who claimed they cared, from someone so intelligent to practice medicine like he did.

“Don’t think about him.” He injected the anaesthetic into your arm with a precision you didn’t even feel. “You never have to worry about him again. But I was just offering you a lift- why didn't you tell me that’s how I made you feel?”

He was worried about that? You were so done with being civil for Satoru’s sake. “You fingered me on the exam table, harassed me to go on a date with you and watch me all the time coming and going from my apartment and you wonder why you make me feel uncomfortable?”

Geto put the needle down and watched you with a hardened stare, an inquisitive one. “That’s how you saw it? I was doing my job, nothing more. I can’t help it if I find you attractive, and I’m only doing what Satoru told me to.”

"There's no record of my results- don't bullshit me."

"A system error, the entire hospital was done for about an hour. That's al."

"That's all? You can't be serious."

Then his deep purple eyes darkened more than you ever thought they could have towards you. “There’s a lot of stories you probably heard about me, how I'm constantly chasing, or that I've had interactions with a lot of women here. But it's all untrue. There’s only one person on my mind and nothing that will change that... You are that person, and it won’t ever be anyone else.”

He started suturing your arm up, his aimed his focus towards your arm and not your rosy cheeks and nose. “I care a lot about you, and I won’t give up on showing you that. Not until you understand just how far I’ll go to get you to see, because you clearly don't if you think this way about me.”

What the fuck? 

“To see what, exactly?"

“That I love you.”

And now you were in a room alone with him.

DISCLAIMER - Crossposted from my AO3 - I do not own any of the characters or anything from the anime. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).

Also please don’t post any of my work without permission thank you!

[justanotherspine]

So… what if the Pitt had a musical episode (like grey’s anatomy did)… walk with me here ok

None of these are in any particular order except for the first and last one and btw this is so long I really thought about this hard lmao

Imagine the episode would open up with a pediatric patient coming in and they’re seeing everyone singing and that’s what kinda kicks off the musical episode

It opens with the nurses singing “pure imagination” from wonka to the child, bringing them into a world they’re unfamiliar with but wanting to ease them as much as possible. But it’s also kinda clear that through the motions of the nurses/doctors they’re doing their normal thing but instead of hearing anything medicine related the kid is hearing this cute lil song

Solo numbers

Robby, this man. I would love it if he had a number like “I’m still standing” by Elton John but more realistically it would be “us” by James bay. Bc he’d be pleading with the world on why life is so difficult and to help guide him when all he sees everyday is heartbreak

Langdon would have a number like “As it was” by Harry Styles. Verse 2 and the bridge would really speak on his addiction and his wife leaving him. It’d probably be sung in the bathroom or somewhere alone after a trigger of some kind, maybe his wife telling him she’s leaving or maybe he got a patient who also is an addict or maybe he himself is struggling with staying sober

Mel would be “exhale” by Sabrina carpenter. Girlie just needs a breath sometimes and when she’s overstimulated from whatever, the scene kind freezes around her as she just goes “can I exhale for a minute?”

Victoria’s number would be “easy on me” by Adele. She’d be having this lil revelation that this life was picked for her. After a grueling argument with her mother or maybe she had an overwhelming day, she’d start her number. “Didn’t get a chance to feel the world around me, I had no time to chose what I chose to do” it’s a soft number of her pleading with the world and her parents to just go easy on her. Verse 2 is directed towards her mom- “you can’t deny how hard I’ve tried. I changed who I was to put you both first”

I also think Victoria’s mom would jump in on Vic’s song but only the bridge- like she’s realizing she forced Vic into this job but isn’t sure how to make amends “I had good intentions and the highest hope, but I know right now that it probably doesn’t even show”

Mateo would probably be singing “one call away” by Charlie puth to Victoria. He’d always her hype squad and just seems to know when she needs help or reassurance. So this song would come maybe after Vic’s sad solo song and he noticed she was feeling down so he kinda follows her around telling her that he’d save the day for her and that he just wants to see her smile

Mohan’s number would be “human” by Christina Perry bc girlie would do anything for her superiors to notice that she works hard and will stay as long as possible and be this machine for them to prove her worth, but she’d have this lil moment of self reflection bc she is only human and can’t be this perfect person all the time

Santos, my sweet baby Santos. Her number would be “Liability” by Lorde. She’s so confident in a work setting, but her personal life and friendships and dating could use a lil work so maybe when she shoots her shot with Garcia and gets turned down bc it’s just too much for Garcia, she starts feeling like she’s never good enough for anyone thus beginning her number

Abbot would be up on the roof singing “East side of sorrow” by Zach Bryan. Particularly after he lost another vet or maybe it’s a certain anniversary of him losing a friend(s) during the war or maybe his wife’s death. He’s contemplating actually jumping this time bc he’s just so tired of always being the one left behind while others die. But then Robby comes in on the chorus, encouraging him to take a step back and live another day. They go back and forth in the song, Abbot giving reasons why it’s all fucked up and Robby just pleading with him to let it be, let it go. The song ends with Abbot taking a step back and going back inside with Robby

I feel like Whittaker’s song would be something about his past and how it affected who he is today. Like “take me to church” by Hozier. There’s 2 ways that can be shown- he could be gay and he’s struggling with that or he’s struggling with his religion and how the church skews god’s message a lot.

McKay’s number would be “getaway car” by Taylor swift. Maybe Javadi was curious with how her marriage ended or her journey into being a doctor, she erupted into this song making it seem like Cassie just needed out of her old life and relationship to feel safe and start fully living her own life

Collins I feel like would be “too good at goodbyes” by Sam smith maybe she finds out she’s pregnant but she’d absolutely refuses to celebrate or tell anyone or even just acknowledge it bc she’s gotten too good at getting her hopes up and it kills her every time when it doesn’t go the way she wants

Dana I feel like would have a soft number reflecting on her life and work. Something like “lovely” by Billie eilish. She knows someday she’ll get her break, she’s been tore up but one day it’ll be all worth it because she loves her job OR a song reflecting on her whole life like “she used to be mine” from waitress, comparing to how she was when she started to be a nurse to now

Duets/multiple people

Abbot and Walsh would absolutely have a big singing number of “what is this feeling” from wicked. Like just imagine them singing this while working on a patient, just glaring and walking around and doing small lil dance moves here and there

If this is around the time Langdon comes back to the ED, then Mel and Garcia would be singing “hello dolly” from the musical except while Mel is physically all happy and dancing around genuinely happy he’s back, Garcia is singing more in a deadpan/sarcastic tone bc while she is happy to see him back, she doesn’t want to show it and was genuinely annoyed that Langdon left

I can just see Santos, Whittaker, & Javadi singing “birds of a feather” by Billie eilish after a particularly grueling shift, where the vibe is kinda this day sucked but I’m glad that it was spent with you. Like they’re supporting each other in this long journey of becoming doctors. I can just see them singing this as they do their last work chores and getting ready to leave the hospital with that dead look in their eyes and just looking utterly exhausted.

Or they would have a fun lil upbeat song like “seventeen” from Heathers just so they can have some fun outside of work

I feel like there would be a mental health patient so Dana and Santos would pair up to sing “you will be found” from dear Evan Hanson

Abbot and Robby would absolutely have an upbeat duet like “counting stars” by one republic. Just imagine a sick number of them going around during an mci. On the parts where they sing “dreaming about the things we could be” they’re staring at their love interests. Then all the senior residents and other attendings sing along in the bridge and Shen has one single line “everything that kills me makes me feel alive” then it goes right back to abbot and robby

I imagine that towards the end of shift all the nurses would be singing “story of my life” by one direction. It’s about the love the give to their jobs and how they do this day in and day out but they still keep coming back even though it doesn’t always end well

I really like the idea of a patient’s son singing “monsters” to his dying father. But during verse 2, the camera pans to mohan singing that part (bc ya know her dad died so she’s rethinking that) then on the bridge Robby joins in for that part, while looking at the picture of dr. Adamson

In the park, the staff there would be singing “memories” by Maroon 5

Oh and for Langdon and Santos “Waffle House” by the Jonas brothers. They be bickering and just so annoyed w e/o and headstrong father robby & determined mother Dana are SICK of them bickering

My romantic couple songs

Langdon would probably sing “My girl” by the Temptations after Mel is just being her cute lil self. It’d be maybe his realization that yo he’s down bad for her, this girl is the one for her and I can just imagine him dancing around the ED singing about how his girl gives him sunshine on a cloudy day. Bonus points if he’s dancing after her while she’s checking on patients completely oblivious to Landon’s attentions

If Robby and Collins had a lil thing going on again but they’re keeping it on the down low at work but Collins is kinda fed up with Robby being his usual self so she starts singing “say my name” to him in the middle of them checking charts or something. Also bonus points if Dana’s in the background singing along to the chorus and just being Collin’s hype girl

BUT if they stayed separated, then I feel like robby singing “when I was your man” by Bruno mars would happen

Mavadi would also def be singing “lay all your love on me” from mama Mia if they got into a relationship later on. They’d be so cute singing about their new love

Mohabbot would sing “dive” by Ed Sheeran, like they’re down bad for each other but are unsure if the other is serious about them. It’s basically like I could give you my whole heart and you could break it so don’t

Okay FINALLY

The end of the episode closes out with that same pediatric patient and the song “welcome to wonderland” by Anson Seabra is being sung by night shift bc unfortunately the child doesn’t make it and that’s them trying to make them feel better and guiding them into a better place

Okay I’m done. This was rly long I’m sorry LOL BUT I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts on this or which songs you think they’d sing <3

[cosmerelists]

Would These Cosmere Characters Read Fanfic?

As requested by @genderselkiera :)

I don't know if fanfiction exists in the Cosmere (has anyone asked Sanderson yet?). But if it did, here is my take on whether various Cosmere characters would be interested. [Full disclosure: I do not myself read fanfiction, despite arguably writing it. I didn't know it existed until, well, graduate school, when I read some because the girl I had a crush on wanted me to. Since then, not so much.]

(Also, cosmereplay & I did one about them reading Cosmere fanfic specifically! Link here.)

1. Jasnah: No

"If I wanted to read fanfiction," Jasnah would say, "there are certain historians I could reread." (She thinks it's frivolous.)

2. Raoden: Yes

He especially likes the ones that bring back a character who died in canon, especially through fun or unlikely means.

3. Galladon: Not often

Galladon doesn't really see the point of fanfiction; it's not like it changes what happens in canon! He will, however, sometimes read one that Raoden begs him to.

4. Vivenna: No

At first, it did not occur to Vivenna that deviations from canon existed, and when she realized that they did, her general attitude was "Huh! Anyway."

5. Yumi: Yes

At first, it did not occur to Yumi that deviations from canon existed, and when she realized that they did, her general attitude was "I WILL READ THEM ALL."

6. Ellista: Yes

Ellista the Ardent is obviously BUILT for fanfiction: writing it, reading it. If it doesn't yet exist on Roshar, she will probably invent it.

7. Dalinar: No--he only writes it

The call of the explicit self-insert fanfiction about Nohadon is too strong: How could Dalinar not write it?

8. Painter: Yes

Fanfiction for Seasons of Regret is VERY popular.

9. Elend: No

I'm not sure Elend even reads fiction?

10. Lyn: Yes

Lyn especially likes the ones that take an underdeveloped female character and make her the star.

11. Tress: Yes

Tress is out there in canon essentially writing cup fanfics in her head. She would definitely read it if she could.

12. Shallan: Yes

Shallan is out there recrafting the pasts & futures of real people through her Ideal Self drawings. I don't see why she wouldn't also like fanfiction.

13. Radiant: No

Radiant understands that Shallan likes and needs fanfiction. But Radiant feels that her time could be better spent doing other, useful things. That's all.

14. Veil: Yes

Veil is there to read the stuff that's a little too racy for Shallan.

15. Hoid: Yes

Hoid has part of his breath memory bank devoted to his favorite ones, I'm sure.

16. Syl: Yes

Especially when Syl doesn't care for the canon couple, she likes to read endless fanfiction where the guy gets the girl SHE thinks he should have.

17. Shai: Not often

Mostly, Shai finds herself getting a little bit annoyed at how little worldbuilding and planning goes into some fanfics. You can't just SAY that they work at a coffee shop now: You need to have all the details of their life exhaustively planned out to get them there!

18. Allrianne: Yes

The great thing about fanfiction is that characters can simply have the emotions you want them to have--you don't even have to work to riot them!

19. Evi: Yes

In fact, Evi thinks that fanfiction and canon are equally important parts of the experience of a book/show, an attitude that confuses almost everyone she talks to.

20. Kadash: Yes

The good thing about becoming an Ardent is that you can read all the fanfiction you want, even the soppy stuff, and no one can say anything about it. (Yes, he read Dalinar's fanfic. He didn't like it.)

21. Mraize: No

Mraize likes to hunt down fanfics that have never before been read, and then he downloads them. But he never actually reads them. It's just about the hunt.

22. Wayne: Yes

Wayne doesn't see why you'd want to read about just one version of someone's life when you could read dozens instead.

23. Dilaf: No

Canon divergence is basically heresy!

24. Hrathen: Yes

Sometimes to get a convert, you need to drop the name of a popular ship to show that you're cool. It's fine.

25. Amaram: Well...

Amaram reads fanfic. Then he uses ChatGPT to "finish" them. He doesn't see why this makes everyone SO upset.

[writingwithfolklore]

Hello 👋 are you an author if so please how did you promote your books online

Hello!

I am a writer, not a (published) author yet :,) I'm still trying. I do have a background in marketing and communications though, so here's my 2 cents!

How to Market a Book

Know your audience

You can spend all day (and all your efforts) posting and creating content, but unless you're posting the right things in the right places, it'll be a wasted effort. You should only focus on posting content that will reach the people who would want to read your book.

So take your genre/age range/themes of your book and try to connect them with an ideal reader. Your audience might look like "girls aged 12-15 who like dark magic, are fans of Maggie Stiefvater, and identify with a warm climate" for example. This gives you a start on where to reach these people.

1.5 Research your audience

When you come up with an audience you believe would be most likely to read your book, you now need to do research on them. Most importantly, you need to know what they need--what pains them in life, and how does your book fulfill that need?

Other things you should know about your audience:

Where do they hang out online? (Social media platforms, forum rooms, communities, etc.)

What are they searching for?

How do they prefer to consume their content?

What key words or hashtags are they likely to use/be attracted to

What do they appreciate from online messaging? (younger generations prefer authenticity, older generations tend to prefer clarity)

You can do this through searching it online, or better, talking to people who would be part of your target audience and asking them about their habits.

2. Form your brand around your audience

Your brand is more than just colours and fonts (though having that consistency is important too). Mostly, it's about how you interact with your audience and the world. Are you cheeky, genuine, funny, edgy? This should depend on what your audience wants to see.

Most brands align with what's called an archetype:

The archetype provides a structure on your brand voice, colours, values, and essentially how you present yourself to your audience.

Different audiences will appreciate different archetypes. A younger, fantasy-loving audience may feel more aligned with the Hero + the Jester for example. I'd recommend looking more into these + examples to get a sense of which would be best for you.

3. Post content your audience will find value in, where they are likely to find it

By this I mean, if your audience is most likely to be on Instagram and TikTok, that's where you should be too. This information comes from your target market research.

Also from your research, you should find out what your audience values and how that aligns with your product. So, let's say your fantasy novel comments on real world social issues, and you're aiming for a Gen Z audience. This is a perfect pair because Gen Z tends to value social issues and the environment (among other things), so you should be posting things that really highlight that aspect of your work.

3.5 Social media tips!

Success on social media is nebulous, but there are a few things you can do to help your chances:

Follow trends (that make sense to your brand)

Worry less about posting often and more about posting consistent, high quality, and valuable posts

Do what you enjoy (trust me, trying to post things that you don't love to do will not last that long. Focus on using social media in a way that you're proud of your product and like the process.)

Engage your audience--reach out to them, instead of waiting for them to come to you.

Engage with others in your circles as well! Other fantasy authors, editors, artists, etc. are a great beginnings of community, and can provide opportunities for guest posts and collaboration

Go to IRL events too and invite people you meet to follow you (open mic nights, networking events, festivals, book readings etc. are all great events. Just make sure you're not focusing too much on plugging yourself, and make genuine connections!)

4. Have a hub

Social media is a great starting point, but it's important for long-term brand and audience building to have a hub that belongs to you for your audience to collect. For example, if your audience is entirely on Instagram and IG suddenly closed the next day, you'd be left with nothing. However, if you also have a newsletter and use your Instagram to lead people to your newsletter, you never have to worry about that suddenly going away, you own and can control that newsletter and how you interact with that audience.

On that note, if you've read this far, help a gal out and check out my website or follow me on Insta @gatesannai thanks!

[ohana-system]

First of all, there's no need to be hostile simply because I needed clarification. You're also coming off as classist and ablest. Not everyone has had the privilege of a proper education. Some people also understand or interpret things differently due to various neurodivergencies. And no, people don't need to pay attention to your specific wording because 1: if it comes out of your mouth, then you are responsible for it, 2: everyone understands things differently, and 3 that's why people ask questions for clarification. You being impatient and not stopping to take all of that into account and having an attitude... does not bode well. Especially when you are now the one who is seemingly making assumptions about what I think your veiw on tulpas is based solely on a point I made without at all saying a single thing about you personally. Not to mention your not so subtle and uncalled for insults just because you have an unreasonable expectation that everyone should be on your level. "Low key disrespected." So your answer is to high key insult someone instead of commucate your feelings in a constructive and composed manner?

Switching is a skill. People vary in skill. Some never learn, some take a while to learn, some pick it up quickly, and some are simply a natural at it. So yes, you can be a new tulpa system and possibly still experience a fluid switch. Which, yes, as you said, falls under an abnormality. However not everyone, especially newcomers, will know whether that's abnormal or not without explanation. Which you included none of. If I am new to plurality, I cannot infer all of this context that you left out of your post. As an autistic person, I would struggle with that quite a bit unless you explain to me that there can be variation and what that variation might look like. And because I get the feeling you might decide to use that as an argument, yes, I realize you could also be autistic. Which would be why you're so hung up on people understanding your words in a specific and very black and white way. Well guess what. I know someone like that too, and while it infuriates them, they understand that's not how people work and that doesn't give them the right to chastise others for it.

Also what you've posted on your blog over the years is not something I should be expected to know about, nor go digging for just to understand a singular post that you made on a social website where it doesn't stay within the confines of your blog. You did say "both". Which can be read as "both must consent beforehand" not just "both usually consent but sometimes just one can consent". If you want to talk about specific wording, then why didn't you specify that?

And yes you absolutely could have pointed out how DID specifically requires dysfunction. So for someone who's so hung up on being specific, once again, why didn't you? The hypocrisy here is distasteful. It isn't harmful to suggest someone look into something IF certain things seem to coinside, but you listed one singular, incredibly common thing. Newcomers require significantly more introduction and information than you provided. Surface level suggestions are not particularly helpful. Especially when many of these newcomers are young, anxious, and impressionable children.

You also said the system you based this on manually created memory barriers. I'm pointing this out because, once again, you want to be specific, right? So if they manually created the barriers themselves then they still are a tulpamancy system. They're just perhaps very skilled at dissociation and got carried away. I suppose you could argue that they induced DID. However that is not what your post was about. Nowhere did you speak about inducing DID. You stated that more than tulpamancy could be happening. I think it's incredibly reasonable to draw the more likely conclusion that you were speaking about something that is naturally occurring as inducing extreme dissociation is not a common idea. Perhaps your post would have been clearer if you'd spoken about the actual concern which is apparently that you can give yourself a CDD as opposed to simply possibly having one.

And just to note, while I am most certainly perturbed, I am not intending this as hostility or a fight. I am simply pointing out all of the issues I see. However, if you cannot refrain from insult just because you struggle with being misunderstood, then I will take my leave of this discussion as I do not enjoy engaging with people who are unreasonable, rude, and incapable of taking criticism or having a legitimate conversation.

- Rue

Potential Red Flag that More than Tulpamancy Is Happening

If you and your tulpa(s) randomly switch (as in neither party consciously initiated it) or experience involuntary switches, that is not normal in Tulpamancy. Switching isn't random or involuntary in Tulpamancy; it's most often a mutual agreement between systemmates and a conscious thing that occurs. Tulpas don't randomly take front without warning or involuntarily in response to certain stimuli.

If you experience random/involuntary switching more than the random freak occurrence, you should look into dissociative disorders because this may be a symptom of something like DID.

6-5-2025

[buttercupshands]

(Forgot to post again)

A birthday present for a friend :)

[chimerafeathers]

i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”

but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that

i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.

it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.

Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.

they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)

and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.

so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?

that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.

[randomalistic]

I used to avoid watching wreck it Ralph bc turbo would make me feel new emotions that I couldn’t/refused to process

you and me brother... that's how i was for 7 years and then I let the floodgates open

> Hyperfixation trance state

> Wake up 9 months later in a parking lot

> I'm in a tracksuit covered in dirt and grass stains

> Strong urge to check my computer

> 2-hour video on my hard drive

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[simcardiac-arrested]

never volunteer for anything university related man. also go listen to this