#i have about 800 words written that i can share

[pboogerswbb]

EARNED IT

Paige Bueckers x reader

In which reader wants a pair of shoes but instead of just buying them, Paige makes reader earn them, each orgasm bringing her $200 closer - loosely based on a request @d3arapril got and passed onto me (ty girl ily)

Warnings: SMUT (slight CNC, use of a dildo, overstim, P being a little sadistic), lowkey filthiest thing i've written so beware

Wordcount: 4.9K

A/N: SURPRISE! enjoy this little pre-game treat while I work on the prologue for So It Goes ;)

-

It had been a long day. Work had been killing you and frankly, you missed your girlfriend who had been training tirelessly in the past weeks. It was as if the only times you saw each other were when she was about to leave, coming into your bedroom and kissing you goodbye for the day, or the couple hours after she got home when you ate dinner together and went to bed. 

It was all okay, you understood the stakes, you always knew what it entailed to date the famous Paige Bueckers. That basketball was her life, that it meant a lot of lonely nights, sometimes for weeks during the season. But it was all worth it, because when she was there, you were the most spoiled, pampered girl in the world.

You could hear the shower turn off as you sat on the couch of your apartment, looking for something to spoil yourself with on your phone - you had received a bonus earlier today and thought you deserved something nice to celebrate. So naturally, almost out of habit, your finger was scrolling on the Louboutin homepage, admiring your dream shoes - the shiny leather and bright red sole of the shoe drawing you eye in. Maybe if you saved a little more, you could finally get them.

“You’d look so fine in those,” you’re interrupted by Paige, leaning over your shoulder to see what you were up to. When you turn around you find her shower fresh, wet hair still dripping and a robe tied loosely on her body. She smelled so delicious and clean you just wanted to bask in her. To throw yourself on her and have her hold you for days on end.

Paige kisses the top of your head from behind as she leans down and wraps two arms around you. Heaven is the only way to describe how that felt after days of missing her.

“Well gimme a couple months and I’ll save up,” you chuckle, tilting your head back to look at her. She smiles but scoffs a little at your words.

“I gotchu,” she laughs and yanks the phone out of your hands much too quickly for your reflexes.

“No!!” you yelp, jumping off the couch in a white top and underwear, following her around your apartment, feeble attempts to try and steal back the phone as she dodges you with ease, a smug grin on her face.

“‘S not even that much, relax,” Paige pushes your hands away gently, plopping herself down on the armchair in your living room that the blonde had reclaimed as “hers”. 

“Got that NIL money, can buy my girl whatever she wants,” she brags, leaning back in the robe that’s not doing much to cover her legs up. The sliver of white boxers on her muscular thighs electrify you, and the confident expression on her face doesn’t help when you feel the familiar ache fluttering between your thighs.

“It’s 800 dollars Paige,” you point out, sitting yourself on the blonde’s thigh, like you had so many times before. It was something about this chair that made her want to have you on her constantly. Perhaps it was the way you two fit in it just right, the way you felt small in her arms. Nevertheless, you had spent hours in this chair scrolling Tiktok, sharing a tub of ice cream, reading books or just talking after a long day.

Paige holds you bridal style, your bare legs sprawled across her lap. Her fingertips draw patterns up and down on your thighs, sending goosebumps everywhere. You loved these moments, they almost made up the fact that she was gone most days.

“That’s nothing baby, don’ worry,” Paige murmurs, already putting her card details in. 

“I’m serious P!” you groan, grabbing your phone finally from the blonde’s hands. Truth be told, you felt a little bad. Paige was always showering you with gifts, trips on your birthday, hell she had even convinced she should pay for your groceries since she was over all the time and ate most of them. She paid for every date, for gas, drove you around whenever she could. She spoiled the hell out of you and you let her. You knew she loved to do it. But still, something about it made you feel bad. To have your girl do so much for you without giving anything in return.

“I wanna earn it! I just got a bonus and if I save up some more I can get them,” you explain, the bewildered look on Paige’s face finally softening. A small grin tugs at the corner of her mouth as her blue eyes roam over your face, flickering to your lips. Her fingertips sneak further up your leg as her tongue licks over her pink bottom lip. All that was enough for you to know Paige had something dirty on her mind.

“Oh yeah? You wanna earn it?” she asks menacingly. With a confused look you nod, not quite sure what she meant.

Instead of explaining, she’s pulling you in by the back of your head, kissing you feverishly. The tension grows quickly, each kiss more passionate than the last. She wants you bad. Your hands entangle in her wet hair as you wrap your arms around the blonde. The fresh scent of shampoo, mango and guava, fills your nostrils. Paige moves her hand to your inner thighs, squeezing and caressing the soft skin, making a wet spot grow on your underwear embarrassingly quickly. 

She pulls her lips away with a struggle, attempting to catch her breath. You wince, already missing her mouth. 

“You wanna play a lil game with me baby?” She asks, hooded eyes blinking quickly as she refocuses on your face.

“What game?” Your voice is shaky from how much the ache between your legs had grown.

Paige sits up a little, clearing her throat. “Well, you said you wanna earn it,” she starts, walking her fingers up your thigh slowly. “and I really wanna touch you baby,” she adds. “How about each time you cum for me you get 200 dollars?”

The blush that sets on your cheeks is immediate, making your face red and hot. At first you want to shake your head, immediately turn it down. It felt so wrong. But then Paige’s fingertips inch closer to your core, and you can’t help but consider. She really wants to get you off after all. And if there was one thing about Paige, once she started she didn’t know how to stop.

The blue eyes roam your face, looking for a reaction. With a huff, Paige leans in and kisses on your earlobe. “Been away so much lately, need my girl,” she hums into your ear, chills taking over your body. That’s enough to do it.

“Okay,” you whimper, Paige grinning against your skin.

“Yeah? You not gon’ tap out?” She says with that arrogant lilt in her voice as your gazes meet.

“No.” 

Your tone is much more confident than you are.

“Bet.”

With that Paige’s fingertips press into your clothed core, dragging along your clit as you moan, your head already lulling back.

“You already this wet?” The blonde chuckles irritatingly, but you’re too desperate for her to do anything about it.

“Been missing you,” you whimper as her fingers rub in a circle, her lips returning to your ear as they suck on your earlobe, pulling on it with her teeth.

“Fuck I know baby, haven’t been giving you enough attention huh?” She coos, hot breath on your neck. You nod, agreeing with her, growing wetter, needier for something she wasn’t giving you yet. “Lemme make it up for you,” she whispers, nuzzling her nose against your neck. “Stand up.”

You do as she says as if in some sort of trance, willing to bend every which way for her. Paige looks up at you, spreading her legs further and reaching for your panties. With a swift movement she pulls them down, leaving you only in the tight white tank top in front of her. 

She pats her thigh, flexing the muscle there, inviting you to sit. It’s so tempting you don’t hesitate even for a moment when you straddle it. A gasp leaves your mouth when your wet cunt meets her soft, warm skin. She hisses, feeling your slick on her, licking her lips.

“Oh shit,” you whimper, Paige’s hands moving to your ass, kneading hungrily. You could already feel a fire in your abdomen, making you lightheaded. 

“C’mon,” the blonde urges you to move, her hands beginning to grind your hips back and forth. The way her thigh drags along your clit is making you see stars. Paige’s eyes are locked on the way you’re grinding on her, her cheeks turning red as she lets out loud exhales and hisses at the way your pussy feels on her skin. 

Grabbing onto her shoulders, you fasten the pace, needy for more. 

“That feels so- oh fuck baby,” you moan, feeling Paige flex her thigh underneath you, providing just the correct angle and pressure for you. Your legs are already shaking as her hands guide you, hips moving back and forth.

“Shit,” Paige whimpers as if she’s the one getting off. Leaning forward she begins to kiss your neck, sucking enough to leave a mark and a sting but it only spurs you on. Grabbing the hem of your top, she lifts it just enough to reveal your tits, eyes locked on the way they move with your body as you grind faster.

“Look so fucking good,” she murmurs almost to herself, one hand kneading your ass, the other your breast. “C’mon, you gonna get off on my thigh?” 

You nod desperately, hair falling all over your face as the coil inside you tightens, the pressure on your clit bordering on overwhelming. Your movements were turning sloppy as your orgasm approached you, desperately grinding your hips. To help you Paige’s hands return to your ass, assisting with the movements. 

“Fuck Paige, fuck,” you gasp, the burn in your core so intense it made your eyes roll back. A loud smack is followed with a sharp pain as Paige slaps your ass harshly, spurring you on.

“C’mon baby,” she groans, leaning forward to kiss your chest feverishly. As her warm tongue begins to circle your nipple, you can feel yourself starting to spill over. Hands gripping onto her shoulders, she flexes her muscles one more time, your clit rubbing desperately on her thigh as you come. 

“Oh-” you’re gasping, face scrunched up in pleasure as Paige’s hands guide your hips, soft lips sucking on your nipple to make the pleasure even more intense. Waves of pleasure wash over you as your cunt clenches around nothing, slick spilling out of you.

“That never gets old,” Paige moans as you try to catch your breath, your movements coming to a halt as the blonde keeps kissing along your neck and jaw. Your body already feels tired, worn out. But the night was just beginning.

“That’s 200 bucks for you ma,” she grins, finding your lips in a needy kiss. “You should know tho, you riding my thigh is worth a lot more,” Paige murmurs against your mouth. “Fuck, would pay millions to see that shit.”

Her words make you whimper into her mouth, giving her the opportunity to slide her tongue inside, meeting yours in a wet, sloppy kiss. Grabbing your thighs, Paige stands up from the chair and lifts you with ease, her robe falling open as she walks you to the couch. Placing you on the soft cushions, she watches you with hooded eyes.

“Wait here,” she murmurs before disappearing into your bedroom. When she returns, her robe is hanging off her shoulders loosely, chests and abs completely exposed. In her large hands she’s holding a purple, 7 inch dildo. A gift from the blonde but left unused because of how busy she had been.

You could still feel your core throbbing from your last orgasm, but the heat was quick to grow again when you see Paige holding it with a grin. As you lie on your back, waiting for her to touch you, Paige walks to the opposite end of the couch, leaning back and spreading her legs. 

“C’mere,” she says hoarsely, her fingers curling to invite you closer. Excited, you crawl to her. Paige’s impatient hands grab you and pull you onto her lap until you’re straddling her.

“You wanna put on a show for me?” She asks. Her head is tilted back as she watches you, the blue of her eyes completely blown out.

“Yes,” you whimper and gasp when her hand smacks your ass again, sharp pain following but making your pussy more soaked if possible.

“Such a slut huh?” She asks, making you only needier. Paige looks down between her thighs, holding the toy there in her hand, the plastic pressing against your stomach.

“Ride this shit,” she says, and you can tell it’s not a suggestion with the way she’s looking at you, her jaw suddenly sharper, eyes even darker. Your legs still feel shaky, but the urge to be filled up by her is so overwhelming you can’t help but lift your hips.

The tip of the toy presses against your folds, the blonde sliding it to your entrance teasingly. Your slick is already dripping down its length as you lower yourself on the tip, Paige’s hand on your hip guiding you.

A loud gasp escapes your mouth as Paige pulls you down on the length, making you take all of it. The stretch is too much, overwhelming you quickly, making your eyes roll back. However, Paige’s grounding hand grabs your jaw firmly, bringing your eyes to hers.

“Earn it ma,” she commands, leaning back and holding the toy steady with both hands. You knew exactly what she wanted.

With slow movements you begin to move up and down on the toy, letting it fill you up all the way. It feels so good it’s almost painful, and you can’t help but moan loud when it hits somewhere deep inside you you didn’t even know existed.

“Oh god,” you moan, eyes shutting in ecstasy. Paige is leaning back, watching you with hooded eyes and mouth slightly parted, moaning with you like she’s the one getting fucked.

“You’re so hot,” she groans, licking her lips. “Play with those tits for me.”

Without thinking your hands grab onto your chest, kneading as you pick up the pace, now bouncing on the toy that Paige is holding. The blonde can’t take it anymore, hand snaking around you to grab your ass hard. 

“Paige-” you gasp as she smacks your ass again, hard enough to leave marks to remind you of tonight for the days to come.

“That’s it ma, love it when you ride my shit,” she whimpers, her voice hoarse and deep. Watching you is getting Paige so wet she thinks she might come untouched, watching you bounce on the toy - what might as well be her cock. 

She can’t help it anymore, purely the way you look is getting her close enough to come. Her veiny hand moves off your ass, dragging down her stomach into her boxers where she’s met with her soaked cunt already throbbing. 

“Ah shit,” she moans as her fingers slip inside her, filling her up while you ride the toy for her. 

“C’mon, faster,” Paige commands. Whimpering and writhing, you maneuver from your knees to your feet, squatting on the toy now. Gripping Paige’s muscular shoulders for dear life, you begin to bounce on the toy, your tits in the blonde’s face.

“Such a good girl for me, shit,” she moans, her fingers pumping in and out of herself. She’s struggling not to come before you, her head lulling back and eyes nearly shutting. 

“Oh fuck,” you cry out, the burn in your thighs becoming overwhelming as you ride her, your pussy clenching around the length inside you. Leaning backwards to give Paige an even better view, you reach back to hold her thighs for support, making sure she sees all the inches disappearing inside you, stretching you out.

“Fuck baby you making a mess on my cock huh?” Paige whimpers, trying to sound together but there’s a whine in her voice that’s telling you she’s trying not to roll off the edge.

“Feels so good,” you gasp, the new angle letting the tip of the toy hit the spongy part inside you, making fire spread all over your abdomen. You’re dripping around the toy now, probably all over the couch, but neither of you seem to care.

“You like how my cock feels inside you?” Paige asks, voice breathy.

Nodding desperately, you allow your head to lull back, the squelching sounds coming out of both of you echoing around the living room. “Love riding your cock baby.”

“Aw sh- please tell me you’re close ma,” Paige cries out, her cunt throbbing around her fingers as she watches you.

“N-need to cum,” you mewl, tears filling your eyes.

“Shit- that’s right baby, earn it for me,” Paige rambles, her voice getting whinier as your pussy squeezes the toy tight, your movements on it turning rampant as you chase your high.

“Such a good girl for me, gonna make me cum,” the blonde continues, forcing her eyes to stay open as she spills over the edge so she can watch you come on her cock. All of a sudden intense pleasure takes over you, and your moans turn high pitched and desperate as you release all over the toy, the stretch making your legs shake.

“Aw fuck you look so fucking good, yeah ride that shit,” Paige moans loud as she comes with you. Plenty of high pitched cusses spill from her pink lips but you barely hear her, too focused on the ecstasy running through you. Once the feeling passes you crash onto the blonde underneath you, whole body shaking from the strain.

“That’s it baby,” Paige praises, sliding her fingers out of her cunt and carefully bringing them to your lips. They’re glistening in the light, covered in her slick. Eyes still closed and head resting on the blonde’s chest, you part your lips and swirl your tongue around them, tasting her. You wrap your lips around her fingers and suck on them as Paige pulls the toy out of you, leaving an uncomfortable emptiness behind.

“No more,” you whisper once the blonde’s fingers return to her side. She chuckles, brushing the hairs sticking to your sweaty forehead. 

“C’mon now that’s only 400 bucks,” she laughs but you shake your head. 

“It’s ok, I can save the rest,” you complain, your body sore and tired and way too sensitive to be touched.

“Well I’m not done with you yet ma,” Paige whispers. “So you might as well earn a lil sum.”

With that Paige is pushing you to your back, the robe finally falling off her body leaving her exposed, nipples hard and goosebumps covering her milky skin. Her hands grip your thighs spreading them wide and without warning, she leans down and begins to slowly drag her tongue along your cunt, taking her time.

You’re already squirming, two hands on her head ready to push her off. The two orgasms had left you sensitive and worn out. You’re not sure if you could do more. But Paige seemed to have decided for you.

She grabs your wrists, pulling them to your side against the couch. “Keep ‘em there,” she orders as she begins to lick against your puffy, swollen clit, humming contently as your body begins squirms. 

“‘S too much,” you cry out but she shakes her head, moaning into your pussy. 

“No it’s not, you can take it,” she assures, arms wrapping around your thighs to pull you closer, to hold you down. She’s lapping you up now, desperately trying to taste every inch of you. Her warm tongue swirls in your folds, moaning at your taste. If there was something Paige Bueckers loves it’s eating pussy. “Doin’ so good for me,” she praises.

The sensation is enough to make your legs tremble desperately, your third orgasm quickly building up. Every muscle in your body ached, and all touches and flicks on your clit felt heightened, making your eyes well up. You were a mess, back arching, hands grabbing the couch, the soft pillows thrown all over the floor now. Every part of you was writhing except your hips that Paige was holding down and still for her sake. She was eating you like she had never tasted you before, as if she had been starving for you.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck-” you mewl, grabbing onto her blonde locks still wet from the shower. As you yank Paige moans, watching you from underneath her long dark eyelashes. She’s watching for every reaction, blue eyes filled with lust and locked onto every movement, every expression. She can’t look away.

Paige lays her tongue flat against your puffy clit and shakes her head from one side to the other, your cunt beginning to throb immediately. 

“Just like that, shit baby,” you moan, pulling onto the blonde hair. Paige pulls back, buried so deep in your folds she’s gasping for air as she comes up. Her gaze moves from your face to your pussy, a mixture of her spit and your slick dripping out of you onto the couch.

“Aw fuck I can see this pussy throbbing,” Paige gasps and immediately dives back in, the strain in her jaw quickly forgotten by the sight of you. Suddenly she spits onto your folds and urgently leans back in to lap it all up. It was so hot, so dirty that the sight was enough for your muscles to begin to twitch a third time around this evening.

“Oh fuck, Paige-”

“Right there?” She asks, staring up at you from between your thighs, her fingertips digging into the skin of your hips. Her tongue lies flat against your swollen clit, circling against it making all the muscles in your body tremble desperately.

“Yes, yes yes yes yes!” You gasp, real tears spilling from your eyes. You’re teetering right on the edge, only needing permission now from the blonde between your thighs.

“Fuuuuckk ma, cum on my face, please,” she moans, fastening her movements and gripping you harder, her eyes rolling back when you yank on her hair hard. “Please,” Paige cries out, clearly desperate, needing to make you come.

“I’m coming, oh fuck-” you cry out, your whole back arching upwards but Paige’s hand presses you down as her tongue keeps working you, drinking up all of it as you crash over the edge. The sounds coming out of you are muffled from how hard the climax hits you, seeing stars as Paige keeps lapping you up.

“Okay okay okay stop,” you whine pulling her hair, the sensation becoming too much too quickly as you come down. But Paige only grabs your wrists tightly in one of her large hands, pinning them together and holding them against your stomach.

“I’m not fucking done,” Paige says directly into your pussy, not slowing down for a second. You try everything, squirming, pulling your hands free, but it was useless. She was way too strong, and clearly wanted you way too much to give in to your whining.

“Paige please,” you cry, eyes welling up again as the tip of her tongue moves back and forth at an accelerating speed.

“You’re not done till I say so,” Paige commands and from the tone of her voice you know - there’s no fighting if she had decided to have you.

“‘S too much.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Suddenly Paige has you flipped over, pressed against the soft armrest of the couch. Her strong hand quickly wraps around your hair and yanks on it, pulling your back flush against her exposed front.

“You want those shoes huh?” She asks with her lips pressed against your ear, a slight sadistic tone in your voice.

“Yes,” you answer weakly.

“Gotta earn it,” Paige says, kissing your neck before pushing you down by your hair till you’re bent over the armrest, ass high up in the air. Paige’s hands grip onto your ass and spread you wide open before you feel her tongue lick against your folds once, twice, until she dives and begins to lap you up even more hungry than before. 

“Oh fuck!” You gasp, completely forgetting about the thin walls and the poor neighbours next door. Nothing in this moment mattered except you, Paige and her plump lips sucking on your clit, still holding you wide open for her.

“Fucking love this pussy,” Paige groans, lips and mouth working hard, getting covered in a mixture of your mess and her spit. It’s simultaneously too much and so fucking hot, the way she’s eating you from behind, the way her nose is pressing against your entrance, rubbing against it teasingly.

Suddenly your pussy is throbbing around nothing, and it’s like the blonde can tell because next thing you know you feel a sudden stretch inside you. The toy from earlier suddenly pounds into you, making you gasp.

“Ohhhhhh shit P-” you can’t even form full sentences, the sudden sensation and the speed which Paige is fucking the dildo in and out of you with making you let out a cry louder than before.

“Ohh fuck ma, perfect pussy I swear,” Paige groans, pulling herself back to fuck the toy into you with more force, watching the way you’re getting stretched out. 

“‘S too big,” you cry, reaching back to push the blonde’s hands away. She grabs your wrists, holding both in one hand with ease and pinning them against your back.

“Don’t push me away,” she asserts, somehow finding a new angle as you crash flat against the armrest, making you take it even deeper. You could swear she’s in your guts now, and the loud squelching sounds your soaked cunt is making is only making your mind spin more.

Your whole body’s shaking as your front presses against the soft cushions of the couch, Paige pinning you down by your wrists as she keeps fucking into you. Your juices are everywhere, on the couch, on Paige’s face and hands, gushing out of you around the toy. 

“You gonna cum on this cock?” Paige asks, her voice hoarse with arousal. 

“Mmph-” you moan, face buried into the armrest. The blonde lets go of your wrists and smacks your ass, gripping it tight to fuck the toy even deeper, impossibly so.

“Answer me baby,” she groans, increasing her speed, the tip hitting the right spot each time to make you clench and throb so hard you could barely think.

“Yes yes yes ‘m gonna come fuck,” you cry, grabbing the cushions of the couch desperately.

“Yeah, you gonna cum for me just to get some shoes?” Paige sadistically says, kneading your ass. The wet sounds are becoming louder, your mess dripping everywhere.

“Yes Paige, please please please!” 

“Perfect girl, perfect fucking pussy huh? Letting me fuck your shit up just like this?” 

“Yes, please P-”

“Cum for me.”

She’s killing your shit, toy pounding into your guts. The stretch is so intense your eyes roll back involuntarily, and a loud whimper leaves your body as your pussy clenches around the toy, finally releasing and letting your climax wash over.

Paige is talking you through it, you’re pretty sure. But you can’t hear over your own moans, over the sounds coming from your body, over the way you felt like you might black out. Every muscle in your body is on fire, fingers gripping anything they could find. Next thing you’re being carried into your bedroom, Paige laying you down gently on your back and climbing next to you.

Finally your eyes flutter open as the blonde pulls you into her chest.

“What happened?” you murmur, and Paige chuckles.

“Just made you cum a lil too hard I think,” she laughs and kisses your forehead. Her hands are playing with the ends of your hair, stroking your arms and back, grounding you.

“Did so good for me,” the blonde coos, kissing your lips softly. You could still taste yourself on her. “You okay?”

You nod. All your muscles ache and the strain had made you exhausted, but that definitely made up for all the time Paige had spent away from you in the past weeks.

“That was hot,” you admit, which makes the blonde let out a loving giggle.

“Not you saying that, hottest thing we ever did I swear,” Paige praises, pressing kisses on top of your head again. “Let me go run you a bath baby.”

But as she moves you wrap your arms tighter around her waist, pulling her closer with all the strength you had left. 

“A little longer,” you whisper against her sticky skin. Paige couldn’t dream of leaving you alone, not like this, not when you sound like that - all of it makes her bend to your every whim, she couldn’t help it.

“Okay, a little longer,” she repeats. 

“And you’re ordering those shoes now,” you command, a slight shake to your voice from the prior activities.

“Deal.”

-

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @bueckersfive @sierrale8ne @lovegalor333 @xxloveralways14 @vamptizm @jadasogay @paigesbabygirl

[seelie-buddy]

Tell Me You Love Me

summary : your love for alhaitham is endless, and you make sure to express that verbally; alhaitham makes sure his affections reaches you as well

contains : alhaitham believes in 'actions speak louder than words' ; pre-established relationship ; fluff ; gn!reader, this drabble is written in second person

word count : 800

The candle by your bedside is close to running out when Alhaitham appears through the door. Eyes drooping and a yawn slipping out, the bed dips under his weight as he joins your side. You smile softly as he snuggles in, resting his forehead on your shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut instantly.

"Long day?" You whisper, raising a hand to brush through his hair. You receive a sleepy hum for a response as you pull the blanket over him. "Rest well then."

You can feel his breathing slow as sleep comes over him. It's rather endearing, watching him melt in your embrace, relax to your warmth. Oh, you loved him dearly. And you had no qualms to saying it out loud.

"I love you," you say, a gentle whisper as you lay a soft kiss against his forehead. You would repeat those words for him over and over again until the whole world knew. You would let those words echo through your shared house, letting its warmth fan the fire of the hearth, allowing your abode flourish in the warmth of a home.

And you were sure he heard you, as you felt his hand brush against yours, his index finger curling around yours, wrapping your finger in a gentle, yet firm, hold.

The sky remained hidden behind large, fluffy grey clouds, indicating the rain that would soon fall on Sumeru City. It made sense then of the people rushing back into the shelter of their homes before they get caught in the upcoming downpour.

You simply smiled at the idea of a cozy evening. You paused in your tracks, however, as you caught the whiff of flowers. Turning around, you catch glimpse a flower vender, packing up their stall as the other merchants did.

You returned home, grinning brightly despite the light scoldings of the elderly flower vender who was rushing to return home.

"I'm home!" You chirp in a sing-song. And ah, the sight of your beloved welcoming you back with a warm smile.

You thrust the flowers into Alhaitham's hand, feeling absolutely gleeful at the surprise flashing across his face. His widened eyes, momentary gaping melting into a smile as he recognizes the bouquet of flowers to be the same as the first gift you had given him at the start of your love story.

"I have something for you too," he says in a soft whisper before disappearing into your shared bedroom before returning with another bouquet of flowers in hand. Ah, seems he must have encountered the flower vendor on his way home as well.

His gaze remains on you as you laugh at the coincidence, his eyes honeyed with endearment and softened with amusement.

Oh and his silent laugh as you jumped into his arms, hugging him tight.

"I love you."

You were sure you found your heaven on earth.

You love your off days. Not only did you get to sleep peacefully until the sunlight seeping in through the curtains slowly awake you, but you get to enjoy the sight of your sleepy beloved. The whispered 'good morning's as you take each other in an embrace, snuggling until late in the morning, that joy was unparalleled.

Preparing meals together, snuggling on the couch as one napped and the other read, random chit-chat about some curious thing that happened at work throughout the week; these were all simple moments, but things you yearned for when you had to be apart because of work.

You enjoy watching the sunset with Alhaitham, sitting down on the ground, surrounded by the smell of the grass and dirt. Waiting until the moon rose high as you listened to him narrate bits of poetry in languages you could only dream of learning.

As you worked around in the kitchen with him, preparing dinner, you smiled contentedly.

"I love you," you mummer.

A soft kiss lands atop your head as Alhaitham continues to work around you, leaving you grinning brighter than ever.

"I love you lots," you say amidst your soft chuckles.

"I love you too," Alhaitham smiles back. "More than words could ever express."

"Really?" You cock an eyebrow playfully, not bothering to hide how his words made you soar over the moon.

"Really," he says, not minding your playfulness. "I could use all the words I know, speak all the languages I can, and it still wouldn't suffice to express what you make me feel, how happy you make me."

Alhaitham turns towards you, devoting his utmost attention to you. "Your laugh, your smile, your voice, your eyes, they will always be more beautiful than any language, any poetry that the world has to offer. You are the language I love most, and the only one I want to remain fluent in until my time runs out."

a/n : I previously wrote this drabble (a quiet love) for alhaitham and enjoyed writing it a lot, so I wanted to write more for him (I'm definitely not biased.... okay maybe a tiny bit hehe—); but yeah, I really like the idea of alhaitham following the 'actions speaks louder than words' if it wasn't already obvious

→ this fic was the (3+1) kinda type, or well, I had that in mind when writing it; dunno if it was noticeable or not lmao

p/s : now that my senior year of highschool started, I might be a bit irregular at posting (not that I actually wrote consistently before—), but I don't have too hard courses this semester, so who knows I actually might be a tiny bit consistent; but yeah you get the point right?

[bookwyrminspiration]

Unraveled: B&N Virtual Event Summary

There are no unraveled spoilers; since we're re-covering a period of time we've already seen, there are references to specific events in Stellarlune

Shannon Messenger was accompanied by B.B. Alston, author of Amari and the Night Brothers, who asked the questions

Enjoy! (Quil note: this might be one of the best ones, lads 👀)

Shannon has pre-release jitters. Even though she's done this so many times, she'll never not be nervous

It's a different book with a different POV. She's just as excited as she is panicked. "I contain multitudes!"

Why is this 9.5 instead of 10? Why a Keefe book? Is this part of a bigger story or just a fun bonus? It's a little of both. Keefe fans are gonna love a whole book about him, but Shannon never would have taken attention away from the main story if it wasn't essential for the series, since everyone's anxious for book 10.

Be patient! She's never written a 10 book series before. She's "trying to build a bridge while crossing it."

Keefe wasn't just eating human food having fun, though Shannon would've written 800 pages of snacking if she could.

What he got up to Shannon planned/outlined that it would all come out in book 9 when he was back, but, "No, Keefe is not ready to share these secrets. There's reasons why he's gonna keep this hidden."

"That's a problem for future Shannon!"

But then everything future Shannon tried with book 10 didn't quite work. This is Keefe's story, and KOTLC is limited to Sophie.

In order for Sophie to know, Keefe would have to sit down and talk it out with everyone, and he wasn't quite ready to do that when Shannon needed him to.

So, special 9.5! So we can live that time with Keefe, see what he does, where he goes, who he meets, what he uncovers.

This way readers will be much more familiar with it when we get to all that in book 10--for the first time ever, readers will actually know more than Sophie!

Shannon confirms we're getting Keefe's middle name--she debated with herself, thought about keeping that secret forever, but she wants there to be big pay-offs in Unraveled. And what book could be more perfect for this?

Was it hard to write from Keefe's POV? Usually his voice comes super easily, so Shannon was expecting it to be word-vomit. But throughout the book and especially at the beginning, he's not himself. Everything he's been through has changed him, made him afraid of himself, more quiet and reserved. How does she balance making this interesting when her jokester character won't talk!

It was interesting diving into his head to see where he's at and why he's acting different. And it was interesting flipping it--Sophie's a fish out of water in the Lost Cities, but this time Keefe's the fish!

She had to keep reminding herself all this stuff familiar to her is new to him. "Flaming Hot Cheetos??? Is that food...????"

How has Keefe changed the most since book 1? In some ways he's lost his confidence. He's discovered a lot that's made him question if he's good, if he's causing problems, if he's putting people at risk. In his head he's not nearly as much the casual, lighthearted guy he seems.

He's also matured. He really had to step up and say, "Okay, it's time to take action. I can't just goof around. I've got the fate of the world on my shoulders in some way too." He's also trying to protect his friends and feels very personally responsible. His burden is a lot heavier than it used to be.

What's his favorite part of the human world? He definitely enjoys the human pop culture. Seeing how humans depict elves, certain (not all) human foods.

Lot of fun for Shannon as a snacker, but he's vegetarian, which makes it harder. He can't have fried chicken--but not every scene is about food.

Any places Shannon knew she had to send Keefe? She prefers to write places she's been if possible; in fantasy, if you can get the real accurate, it makes the fantastical that much more believable. So she started with places she's been, but she hasn't been nearly enough to cover all this. So she included places she'd like to, places she knows other people have been so she can get details from them.

(itty bitty seriously small spoiler from Shannon) Keefe starts looking for libraries, so Shannon googled cool libraries and went down that rabbit hole.

Keefe's been crushing on Sophie since the moment they met. What's does he like the most about her? (Lot of hearts in chat). "Keefe appreciates that Sophie is such a different perspective. He really sees that she doesn’t necessarily see herself accurately, but he understands her. He can see why she’s harder on herself with her upbringing, the bad thoughts she heard. He realized she doesn’t always understand herself."

He’s also really impressed by how brave and strong she is, and how she’s willing to risk her life and do the thing when everyone's like Sophie don't do the thing! And she’s like I must do the thing! Keefe thinks, “Wow can’t stop her from doing the thing!" It'd be great if she stopped ending up in the healing center, but he appreciates her for doing it despite the consequences. Admires her for it. He really wants to be worthy of how amazing he thinks she is. (More hearts in chat)

Can we confirm Keefe's POV of the kiss? Yes! Shannon almost wasn't able to do it. Unraveled was supposed to release November 12, but then her kids, "caught every possible virus they could possibly catch." Plus, publishing takes time, so they had to move it back. Those extra days allowed her to squeeze in the bonus story and she had a lot of fun writing it.

She knew she couldn't continue the book past when he leaves the human world, but she knew readers would really want it. She understands if you skip to the end to read it first--and there shouldn't be too many spoilers if you do, but she still recommends going from the beginning.

Why did it take Sophie and Keefe so long to get to the kiss? Did you know it would be in Stellarlune or did it happen naturally? Shannon tries not to pre-plan emotional things because it makes it feel forces. As the author she's in charge of the plot, not the emotions. Every time Sophie almost dies, that's her, but how Sophie feels about almost dying is all Sophie.

So anything emotional like this, Shannon's checking in with Sophie, and, "She really wasn't ready to see this was an option for her--she really was in the Great Foster Oblivion. She had no idea that Keefe liked her, and she wasn't the type to start developing feelings without having that piece of the puzzle. She genuinely thought Keefe was just teasing and was a flirt with everything. She didn't think it was something to take seriously."

She also had her eye on someone else for quite some time, so the story had to wait until Sophie was ready to take that step. Shannon discussed it with her editor a lot

Every week they have a zoom meeting to talk through the plot. They thought Stellarlune was probably the book for the kiss, but Shannon didn't know for sure until she got to that chapter. She's very proud of Sophie for being brave enough to take that step and bring the walls down.

The fact it took so long and tortured readers wasn't on purpose--"Torturing my readers is fun, but I wouldn't do it unnecessarily!"

It was interesting going back to write the kiss from Keefe's POV. She was worried as she did that though Sophie was ready for it now, what if Keefe wasn't? But, "then it was like oh, no, nope he’s on the same page." Keefe was screaming "FINALLY!!!" in his head.

How different is KOTLC now from how you first imagined it? The problem they're dealing with is fundamentally built into their world--it's not just an evil villain who decided to take over. "Multiple rebellions are going on because there are some fundamental injustices that have been ignored and ignored and ignored. And two groups have said enough is enough."

She always knew they'd have to reckon with this--in some ways they have, but there's more to come. But she also always leaves room for ideas to grow. Her first ideas aren't her best; they're too obvious. Now she's had a lot of time to think Keeper through.

Even still, she worries about doing it justice and, even with a plan, never knows for sure what will happen until she sits down to write it.

Shannon returned the question to B.B. He said the same thing--at a certain point as the story grows, you can really do so many more things, you have so many more villains. It builts the characters and relationships.

Shannon takes a moment to recommend B.B.'s series, Amari and the Night Brothers. She can't sing it's praise enough. "After you race through Unraveled, race through this!" There are 3 books out with 2 more to come. Maybe more.

10 books is a lot--how does Shannon do it? This is part of why she has those weekly zoom chats. But she's constantly going back to look things up, making lists of unanswered questions, listening to the audiobooks. It's all daunting. "It's all chaotic. Wonderful, glorious chaos. That's what I'm telling myself."

Readers are anxious to get back to Keefe and Fitz. How awkward would a conversation be now? Oh yeah. They've had to be around each other since all of that, but that haven't had to openly acknowledge it. But Shannon can feel the scene on the horizon and can't avoid it forever--though Keefe would love to. "Peace out!" Given Fitz's temper, Shannon fully expects there to be yelling, but sometimes he surprised her. We'll see once she gets there.

When Shannon gets too specific in outline, it sucks the life out of her story. She needs to know the rough order of the plot--this threat, then this thing, this this reveal. But the little emotional beats are more up to the characters. Talks this through with her editor too.

Can you tell us anything about book 10? Would love to be like it exists and it's coming out tomorrow! Sadly, still writing it and doesn't know the exact release date. She promises she'll get it to us as soon as she can. Obviously we left Stellarlune on a huge cliffhanger and Unraveled answers some questions but doesn't deal with it at all.

"Keefe's secrets...secrets do have a way of coming out." He can't hide them forever and it'll take something big to motivate him to come clean. "Wow, that's the most non-answer. I swear answers are coming!"

Is there any news on the movie? Earlier this year they announced Warner Brothers got the rights and Emma Watts is the producer. Currently Emma is working hard to get everything behind the scenes in a row to give the movie the best possible chance it has to get greenlit and made since it'll be so expensive.

Shannon thinks this team is one of their best shots at it happening. There's still a bit of finger crossing, but it anyone can make it work, it's Emma Watts.

Shannon is NOT writing the screen play. She's got book 10 to write, plus she doesn't think she can be objective about the changes that'd need to be made to adapt it. She's too attached. She wants to give input and suggestions, but wants something with more screenwriting expertise and distance from the story.

B.B. doesn't want to write his screenplay either--it's a totally different skill.

What's your best advice for new writers? Ooh, okay. 9 times out of 10 when a young writers asks for advice, Shannon asks "Have you written your book yet?" And the answer is no. They're just thinking about writing a book. So her advice: focus on writing! Finish that book! You can't be a writer unless you write! Then revise and revise and revise. "The work is not done when you get to the end."

When you have the best book you could possibly have, then think about next steps and publishing. But for now...write!

Shannon returned the question to B.B., who says to read widely. Read as much as you can to build up your story skills. Find what you like. As KOTLC readers, we've seen in the story how to develop characters and plots and arcs.

He also says don't put pressure on yourself. Write for the fun of writing, so even if it never goes anywhere, you still have something you're proud of.

"Once it's a job it's a job. It's different."

Shannon doesn't find books on writing helpful for her; they're procrastination. Instead she reads and asks herself what's working and why--why am I enjoying this so much?

She learned the most from books she didn't like. She asked herself why she wasn't into it--which doesn't mean there was anything wrong with it. It was personal preference, which helped her find her writing voice. She likes a lot of dialogue, a lot of humor, cliffhangers, etc.

School may ask you to read things you don't like; as a writer, take it as an opportunity to pick it apart and find out why.

How do you come up with character names? Baby name books. By the time she had to name her own kids, she was already an expert. She likes names to match the character.

Sophie was going to be named Alexandra because it means helped and defender of mankind, but it was too on the nose. She wasn't an Alex, or Alexis, or even an Alexandra

Sophie means wisdom, which is what she gives to her world. "No pressure, right?"

Fitz is from Fitzroy, which means son of the king, and his family is almost like royalty.

"Keefe means handsome. *shrugs* So. Obvious there." The book she got it from said "good-looking one" specifically.

It's the same for B.B. He likes to look at the year the character was born and what was popular, too. Amari means inner strength, and a big part of her story is learning she's more than where she's from and to believe in herself

How does it feel to write from a new POV? Would we maybe get a Fitz book? Shannon's learned to never say never. The story could throw her another curve ball, she might do a short story in his POV. If the story dictates she needs to step into anyone else's shoes, she will. "I've gotten this far by trusting the story."

Who was Shannon's favorite author/book when she was 12? Shannon grew up before the big children's media boom, she she didn't have a lot of options. She did like the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

"You have no idea how lucky you are there's so many great stories out there. Different POVs, more characters that look like more people--though still need more work on that front."

For B.B., he was a huge fan of Charlie and the Chocolate factory--but he also didn't have much to pick from.

When Shannon was around 12, she also fell out of love with reading. She had a 7th grade teacher who was very strict about reading "at your level." And she decided Shannon was at college level, so kept giving her older books like Crime and Punishment, Little Women, etc.

While Shannon appreciates the classics, they weren't what she wanted to read, and it turned it into a chore. She went from a kid who took stacks home from the library to someone who only read if it was an assignment. (Shocked faces in chat).

Shannon firmly believes in letting your kids read what they want. That doesn't mean don't encourage them to broaden their horizons, but don't take away things they love. That's how you kill someone's love of reading.

B.B. gives props to Shannon for the female main character; it's one of the reasons Amari can exists--"well Shannon did it and it worked."

Shannon's very glad Amari exists. Keeper got a lot of rejections with coded wording that made it very clear female main characters were not as marketable as boy heroes. And she wasn't an instant success--it took about 5 books to gain momentum, and a lot of that was teachers, librarians, book sellers, and the kids themselves telling their friends to read it.

Any info on the graphic novel? Part 2 is definitely coming and in the works, it just takes time. She's seen some tentative cover sketches, might see more soon, and is very excited.

Team Fitz or Team Keefe? Even though Shannon's written a whole book from Keefe's POV *she holds it up backwards, then upside down, then gets it right* and has a Keefe cutout in the corner *moves the camera so we can see him--he was gonna be in the background but it looked creepy*, she truly is Team Sophie. If she ever got a tattoo, it's say Team Sophie. But she's terrified of needles so never will.

People think they kissed so it's settled, right? "Well, the series isn't done yet. Sophie could change her mind." This goes back to what Shannon talked about with letting the characters dictate the emotions.

What first inspired Keeper? A lot of things. Hilariously, it started as a short story. Epic fail--she's what, 8,000 pages into her short story? She was working on a different book and got stuck, so decided to get to know a side character.

The side character she chose was Fitz. For some reason, she doesn't know why, the plot was he'd meet a little girl and realize she was an elf.

But "Guess what, you're an elf!" was a terrible ending and she couldn't stop thinking about it. What happened to that little girl? How could she not know she was an elf? Why would they hide her?

A few weeks later she knew "yeah, I gotta switch books." She couldn't get it out of her head, but it was daunting because she knew it would be a massive project. But that little girl would not go away.

What was the inspiration for Amari? Doing pre-med stuff is long and boring, so he was looking for something fun. He thought about Men in Black and what if there were supernatural creatures living amongst us. He was working on the world and one day Amari popped into existence.

Has Shannon ever made the Keeper recipes and what's her family's favorite? Shannon actually developed the recipes herself, which wasn't something she ever thought she'd have to do. It took a lot of baking fails, but her favorite is anything mallowmelt--but she always warns people it's SO sweet. Good, but a few bites is enough sugar for a week.

Planning any non-Keeper series? Shannon doesn't know what she'll do once she's done with KOTLC. She'll definitely keep writing because she loves telling stories, but she's so immersed in Keeper all her other ideas are on the back burner.

B.B. thanks Shannon for being so inspirational with her work and how she interacts with her fans--he learned a lot from her. Shannon says B.B.'s always one of the top people she loves to do events with.

Once again, she is begging everyone to read Amari and the Night Brothers. "Please, please, please read them! Oh and I guess read Unraveled too. *accidentally holds it upside down again*"

“Tomorrow it's out in the world. Thank you for your faith in me and I can't wait for you to learn all of Keefe's secrets. It's gonna be an adventure.”

[deanstead]

Safe Space

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Requested: no

Summary: After a bad day, Y/N returns home to her very own safe space.

Word Count: 800+

Tags/Warnings: fluff

A/N: Written for my best girl @seatsbythepit, I hope you like this!

MATT CASEY MASTERLIST

Days like these were the worst.

It was bad enough you’d had to cover for people who weren’t pulling their own weight in the team. But of course, like they said, bad things came in threes. At least it was never just one thing.

Everything that seemed to go wrong, did. Then, there came the finger pointing, the backstabbing, and your boss’ yelling.

You were practically drained by the time the office was emptying out.

Yet, the universe didn’t seem to be ready to let you off for the day.

You’d passed a cafe on your way back, grabbing an ice cream on a whim, hoping that your mood would have improved by the time you saw Matt that evening. You weren’t crazy about ending the day on a less than happy note, and you hated making Matt feel down with you as well.

You’d just taken two steps down the street with the ice cream in your hand when a guy had rushed past, practically crashing into you.

The force sent you stumbling at least three steps backward, and you’d barely managed to stay upright but your ice cream had ended up top down on the street.

“Would you at least watch where you’re going!” The guy yelled.

On any other day you might have ignored him, but you’d had more than enough unreasonable people in your face for the day.

“You bumped into me.” You responded, keeping your voice as even as you could. “And that’s my ice cream you knocked out of my hand.”

The man glared at you, flashing a rude sign at you and muttering about how you were lucky he was in a rush before he continued his way down the street.

That only served to worsen your mood but you headed home anyway, feeling the fatigue of the day start to hit you.

You stood outside the door of the apartment you shared with Matt for just a minute. You weren’t sure if Matt was already home. He wasn’t on shift today but he’d been working on a construction project and hadn’t been sure of his timing.

Just in case, you steadied your emotions as best as you could before you opened the door.

Matt was indeed home, and he heard you the moment the door opened.

“Hey babe!” You heard his voice first, before he appeared before you, leaning in to give you a welcome home kiss. “You’re a little later than usual.”

You smiled back at Matt, feeling your emotions stabilize a little just by seeing him standing in front of you. “Yeah, I just took a little detour to pick up some things.”

Your words sounded lame as you heard them, but even so, you thought you’d handled it pretty well, considering.

Matt, however, seemed to pick up on everything. The look in your eyes, the tone in your voice, or the smile that didn’t fully reach your eyes.

Matt's brows furrowed, just a little. “Y/N?”

You weren’t sure what it was that caused the prick of tears. Maybe it was the soft tone of Matt’s voice, or just the fact that Matt was standing right in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m…” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Matt pulled you into his arms, your face fitting snugly into his shoulder.

That was all it took before you were a mess, the frustrations of the day seeming to flow out with each tear that soaked into Matt’s shirt.

Matt didn’t ask you anything, merely holding you tight against him.

When your shoulders stopped shaking, Matt spoke, “We’ve got pasta and I can pop out the wine that Kelly brought the last time he was here.”

You smiled through the residual tears. “Sounds perfect.”

That’s how you and Matt ended up on the couch after the meal, the plates forgotten in the dishwasher as you cuddled into his side. The television was on, but you weren’t really paying attention, your head laying on Matt’s chest, close enough that you could hear the regular thump of his heart.

“You want to talk about it?” Matt asked quietly, adjusting the quilt he’d draped over you earlier.

You shrugged but told him anyway, starting to feel a little stupid about your mini meltdown.

“It’s not really a big deal, I don’t know why…”

“Hey.” Matt interrupted you. “If it's a big deal to you, it's a big deal."

You didn’t say anything, merely scooting closer.

Matt’s arm tightened around you. “But I’m glad you know I’m here. No matter what.”

That’s when it hit you, the realization of what had caused the onslaught of tears. The only place you could let go, be yourself and allow your emotions to take over was your safe place.

“Thank you Matt.” You whispered quietly, almost to yourself.

Matt pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. “I love you too.” He responded.

This was indeed your very own safe place - Matthew Casey.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

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[the-magiarcheologist]

Reading the Ancient Magic Book Pages

I propose to you today a short analysis of the sections of text on the pages of the Ancient Magic book we find below the restricted section.

High-res images of the book’s pages have been shared by a kind soul. Here they all are:

I was working on a completely different post when I realised that the text on the last 2 pages was easily readable and written in Latin. So I just did a quick search and discovered that these are verses from the Vulgate (4th century translation of the Bible in Latin), more precisely from the Gospel of Luke from the New Testament.

A bit more research and I could find exactly which source they got this text from: the Book of Kells, a Celtic Gospel book written in Latin and illuminated in the Insular style (a combination of Celtic and Anglo-Saxon styles). The precise origins of the Book of Kells are debated but many believe it was created around the year 800 at the monastery founded by St Colum Cille on Iona Island in western Scotland.

Here I put side by side the pages of the Ancient Magic book and the pages from the Books of Kells where the text is from (folio 204r and 275r):

The verses they used are Luke 22:23

Et ipsi coeperunt quaerere inter se quis esset ex eis qui hoc facturus esset.

Which translates to:

And they began to enquire among themselves, which of them it was that should do this thing.

And on the second page, Luke 4:8-14

Et respondens Jesus, dixit illi: Scriptum est: Dominum Deum tuum adorabis, et illi soli servies. Et duxit illum in Jerusalem, et statuit eum super pinnam templi, et dixit illi: Si Filius Dei es, mitte te hinc deorsum. Scriptum est enim quod angelis suis mandavit de te, ut conservent te: et quia in manibus tollent te, ne forte offendas ad lapidem pedem tuum. Et respondens Jesus, ait illi: Dictum est: Non tentabis Dominum Deum tuum. Et consummata omni tentatione, diabolus recessit ab illo, usque ad tempus. Et regressus est Jesus in virtute Spiritus in Galilaeam, et fama exiit per universam regionem de illo.

Which translates to:

And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence: For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season. And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about.

I’m not christian and don’t know much about the Bible so I have no idea why they chose these particular verses. Maybe someone more educated than me will be able to chime in. My hunch is that these verses were just chosen at random from old manuscripts that the artists for the game were using as reference for the art style.

Now, since I was on a roll, I also looked at the text on the other pages. Pages 1 and 3 have some text written in some old form of Icelandic (figured that out from the few words I could sort of read on those pages). So I started looking into old Icelandic manuscripts but it took me a ridiculously long time to find the exact source the text is from! I was starting to go mad but here it is! It’s from an illustration of the Prose Edda found in the Icelandic manuscript ÍB 299 4to., in particular the illustration of the god Týr presented as Mars (folio 60r).

They took the short text in the little box and copy/pasted it mosaic style to give the illusion of the full page of text but you can see it’s just short sections that repeat over and over on both pages.

(To note: this manuscript is from 1764 so it’s sort of anachronistic for them to use this source for an Ancient Magic book that already existed in the Keepers time, meaning the Ancient Magic book is from the 15th century or older.)

Týr is one of the principal war gods in Norse mythology (alongside Odin and Thor) but he also presides over justice and the law. Latin texts often identified him as Mars (hence the subject of the illustration).

I could not find any transcription or translation of the text on the image, I could only decipher some words here and there such as «sigir hielldu» which google translate tells me could mean «victories held» in Icelandic. A bit further down there is «orrustu guð» which could mean «god of war». So it seems to be a short description of the god Týr and at the end there are roman numerals that identify the section in the Prose Edda where the story of Týr can be found.

Again, I can’t really see how this text makes particular sense in the context of the Ancient Magic book, probably just placeholder text from some of the sources they were studying as inspiration.

There is one last book page, but the text on this one is so blurred I didn’t even try to decipher it. Although I do note that the artist has traced over some letters which are: W S M I(?) I(?) I(?) Z N R(?) P(?) G W Q O U(?) H W R(?)

Don’t know… some of them are hard to read or could be not from the Latin alphabet. Again, I just can’t make sense of that. There are not enough vowels for it to be an anagram of an English or Latin phrase so… what else? I leave this mystery to others with more powerful brains than mine!

Anyway, this is it! Not really much to say about this but I think other people are also planning on looking into these book pages so maybe these findings can help them out!

[dancingbirdie]

Honestly I just wanted to write something Astarion x Halsin x Reader related, and this is what my brain told my fingers to tap onto the keyboard. It's sugar sweet with like one speck of chili pepper flake. Idk how to feel about it - it's not my fave I've ever written, but I also like how cutsey it is? Idk.

Feathers, Flirts, and Fiends

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Astarion x Halsin x gn!Reader

Word Count: 800

Tags: Fluff with a dash of spice at the end, humor, throuple domestic bliss, polyamory cuteness

Summary: For Astarion, it can be very taxing when your two lovers also happen to both be druids.

*****

In his dream, the bed was so disheveled that down feathers whooshed up in riotous little eddies each time he moved his limbs. Snow white, soft as petals, landing carelessly this way and that. He could feel the heat from his two lovers on either side of him, although the bed was too expansive to reach for them. 

They must have shared a rather rowdy evening together, given the abundance of freewheeling feathers that surrounded him. He couldn’t recall the details now. Curious. His eyelids slipped shut as a tuft floated down to land on his lashes. Another caressed his cheek. He smiled, content. 

But then the third arrival was less welcoming, landing just under his nose. He lifted a hand up to knock it aside, only for the feather to be replaced by another. Brows furrowed, he batted it away with a tinge more annoyance. But that one was only replaced once again. 

The barrage of feathers was beginning to tickle. He could feel a sneeze itching its way to the front of his nose. As his body instinctively inhaled to let it loose, he woke with a start. 

Well, the dream had gotten one thing right, Astarion thought to himself. 

There were indeed feathers surrounding him everywhere. It was all he could see as he peered about with bleary eyes. But they weren’t the soft down of a priceless plush pillow or mattress, no. 

They were attached to the pelts of his two lovers, you and Halsin, having shifted sometime in the night into your owlbear forms. Sandwiched between you, he felt the feathers rise and fall, sweeping up and down across his body, in time with your deep, drawn out breaths. 

“Gods damn you blasted druids,” he griped, shoving against you and the Archdruid in an effort to rouse your overlarge forms. “Wake up and shift back! Lest I succumb to death by feather asphyxiation.”

You’d awoken the moment Astarion had startled beside you, but the trickster in you considered feigning sleep just to see how long he would grouse. He could be so dramatic at times. It was darling. 

But Halsin was a kinder soul than you. You sensed him shift immediately in response to Astarion’s huffy command. Heard him murmur a sincere apology. 

“I know you’re awake, you beastie” Astarion hissed into the feathers covering your ear hole. “Your breathing’s picked up.” 

Blast. There goes any fun. 

Blinking open your enlarged eyes, you rolled them in a show of exasperation as you pulled on the tether of your magic to relinquish your wild shape. You quickly downsized to your normal elven form, curled in the same way your owlbear self had been sleeping. 

“Don’t be such a gremlin, Astarion,” you yawned, scooting closer to embrace him and Halsin, who had banded an arm across the vampire’s waist and was reaching for you to join them. “I would have thought you’d rather enjoy the warmth of two owlbear companions.”

“Oh yes, being smothered by lichen-and-moss-smelling feathers has always been a fantasy of mine,” he retorted. 

“Can vampires actually be smothered? I thought it was just wooden stakes and sunlight that did you in,” you smirked deviously. 

“You’re awful,” Astarion pouted, turning his head to rest in the crook of Halsin’s shoulder and neck. “At least Halsin showed an ounce of contrition.”

You heard the archdruid’s gravelly laugh as he kissed the top of Astarion’s head. “I’ve learned it goes a ways farther than verbally sparring with you,” he murmured into his silvery curls. 

“Quite right,” Astarion sniffed. “Much farther indeed, darling.”

Laughter bubbled forth from your own lips as you squeezed closer into his side and snaked an arm across his chest. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” you whispered. “Our verbal sparring often leads us three into some very interesting circumstances.”

At those words, Halsin reflexively clutched your waist harder. Astarion tensed before pushing back into your chest suggestively. You grinned fiendishly to yourself. Getting these two hot and bothered had become a specialty of yours lately. And you loved it.

“Tsk. You’re incorrigible,” Astarion grumbled, although his words were a bit breathier than they had been.

“Careful, lest you start something again,” Halsin warned. You couldn’t see him past Astarion’s head, but you could tell he was smiling just by his tone. “I’m not opposed to losing rest in order to see how this tête-à-tête ensues.” 

You chuckled darkly. “Noted. What say you, Astarion? Care to keep sparring?” The insinuation in your tone was clear. 

“Darling, you forget,” he murmured, one hand slipping down, behind him, to tug at the lacings of your breeches. His voice was muffled. You watched hungrily as he began to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses across the column of Halsin throat. 

“I’m always ready for a spar with you two.” 

[faeyun]

────𝓙𝓙UNIE𝓦ORLD / 𝓙𝓙UN𝓑UG 2024 WRAP UP! ᪥

it’s the start of the new year and i just wanted to take a look at everything that i did on here in 2024 before fully kickstarting 2025! i also wanted to do this to give one last final goodbye to my old blog and look at it one last time in a positive light!! ♡ thank you to everyone who followed me and enjoyed my works on there and i hope you’re as excited as i am for the new year on this account! ^^

before we begin, i just want to give a quick thank you to all of those who were with me this year. i truly couldn’t do this all without you!! ~~ ♡♡

──to my mutuals ⦂

i love and appreciate each and everyone of you so so much you guys actually have no idea. truly, i would’ve quite writing on here a long time ago if it weren’t for the friends that i made on here and all the people i’ve gotten close to this year. here’s to another year together!!~~ ♡ i want to especially thank my very lovely friends @jjunberry @ghstzzn @hyukascampfire @biteyoubiteme @beomiracles @beombunni @yeoningz @prince-jjae @hyukalyptus @izzyy-stuff @thetxtdevil and everyone else who i may have missed (i’m so sorry if i did!! there’s literally so many of us in that server it’s hard to keep track lmao..) i really hope that i can get closer to more of my mutuals this year and make ever more friends with you guys hehe ♡♡♡

──to my readers ⦂

thank you all so so so so much for supporting me and my works—especially those of you who followed me over to this new account!! i also really really appreciate all the sweet messages about me and my works that you guys have left me and i just want you all to know that i truly do cherish all of them and think of them often! i’m so excited to share with you guys all that i have in store!! ♡

──how much i write in 2024? ⦂

for the year of 2024 i wrote a total of 191k words!! that is literally insane to think about… that’s like a whole 600-800 page novel… and that’s not even including headcannons, thoughts, or smaus either!! i’m curious to see how much i write this year hehe~~ maybe i’ll even bet 2024’s brand new record!!

──my fic with the largest word/note count ⦂

this comes as no surprise, but the longest fic that i wrote this year was the salt under the sea at 27.5k words!! (∩╹□╹∩) honestly, in general, the player’s game series has the largest word counts that i’ve written so far… it’s crazy to think about how at only two parts it was almost a total of 50k…!

for the most notes i’ve gotten… that goes to so soaked and sex for dummies! with, as of right now i believe, 5,762 and 5,107 notes respectively!! hehe my first mean dom fic… sfd you’ll always be famous to me and i can’t wait to rework you to be so so much better :))

──what is my favorite fic that i have written? ⦂

HANDS DOWN, it has to be both the lighthouse and don’t delete the kisses!! i quite literally put my whole heart and soul into those two works and i’m so so so so excited to rework them and expand them even further. when i think about where i want my writings to be at in 2025, THAT is the standard!! also a special little honorable mention to ceilings and especially its part two i wanna be yours!!

──what to expect in 2025 on this new account ⦂

this year, i want you all to expect works at the same quality and as my favorite fics listed above—at least to the very best of my ability. as also stated above, that’s the standard i’ll be holding myself to this year. also, i won’t be uploading new fics every two or so weeks like i did on my old blog. instead, i really want to take time to write works that i’m very happy with and that i’m excited to share with you all! on this new blog, i will also be dipping my toes into some darker content—nothing too crazy to start with, but it really just fascinates me the different levels of storytelling that comes with writing a story more darker and less fluffy. so expect a lot of angst and mature themes!! (you guys know how much i love my angst!!)

──what are my new year goals? ⦂

along with exploring different types of storytelling, i also want to write longer stories in general! i started this a bit at the end of 2024 with the players game, but i really wanna write something crazy long—like maybe 30-50k?? maybe even longer if i have the plot for it!! also expect more fantasy!! hehe it’s literally my favorite genre ever and it’s absolutely criminal how little of it i wrote on my other blog in 2024… (i may or may not have a little fantasy something something coming for you guys soon hehe!! so keep a look out for it~~) i also want to interact with you all much more this year, so don’t be scared to come into my inbox to chat about literally anything under the sun!! i welcome it hehe~~

as for my goals outside of this blog, i will be furthering my education!! i’m planning on going to college to study writing as an english major in the hopes of publishing all the stories in my head one day!! i’m so excited for this new beginning in my life and i just know that 2025 is gonna be such a good year for me! ♡♡ i’m focused on bettering myself this year and really stepping into who i am as a person and losing the fear of expressing myself. 2025 for me is all about being true to who i am, and i’m so so excited for it!!

[ kipo’s note . . . ] i hope you guys all have the most amazing 2025 and that you get everything you deserve in life!! ♡♡ i can just feel how good this year is gonna be, for me at the very least, and how happy i’ll be so i’m extending all the energy that i feel to you as well!! hehe i love you all!!~~~ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ♡♡♡

[final-fantasy-as-literature]

Final Fantasy VII and a Failure to Properly Analyze Japanese Media by English-Speakers

Light spoilers ahead without revealing deeper context.

One thing that always gets me about discussions of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII is that they're kind of poorly Eurocentric, but I don't think that's entirely the fault of players and journalists. The original game itself came into being in one of those moments where Japanese media was looking both inward and outward while reflecting on what was becoming the economic stagnation of what would become known as "The Lost Decade." There was a lot of outrospection, looking at media from as far as Europe and North America, but a lot of analysis from without Japan often weakly frames that borrowing to the point that it makes the cultural context of where those borrowings might have come from disappear. That's what I mean by "poorly Eurocentric" - these analyses rightfully detect a borrowing, but fall apart because of a lack of curiosity into their depth, origin, and meaning within a Japanese context that fails to center that context as distinctly Japanese or even distinctly of Tokyo.

I have no ill-will towards this author nor do I have any ill-will towards his work, but M.J. Gallagher's Norse Myths That Inspired Final Fantasy VII is kind of a case-study in this. This is not a takedown, callout, or assault of Gallagher, but an example of what I'm talking about. While reading it, I was somewhat struck by a series of claims made that encapsulate this poor Eurocentrism:

Final Fantasy VII’s Nibelheim is largely derived from the primordial realm of mist, and its name is very deliberate. ‘Nibel’ is the word for ‘fog’ in the Romansch language of Switzerland, cognate with the German ‘Nebel’, both of which share a Proto-Germanic root with the Norse ‘nifl’. ‘Heim’, on the other hand, translates most commonly as ‘home’ or ‘home of’. It can therefore be deduced that where Niflheim is the Home of Primordial Mist, Nibelheim is the Home of Fog. Closely related in form to ‘mist’ or ‘fog’ is ‘cloud’. Given that the series’ lead protagonist is Cloud Strife, it becomes apparent that Nibelheim was named quite literally for being the home of Cloud.

This etymology has generated some confusion among fans over the years who believed it to have been drawn from Richard Wagner’s celebrated opera cycle Der Ring des Nibelungen, which itself was inspired by Nordic mythology and the Nibelungenlied, an epic Middle High German poem dating back around 800 years. The terms Nibelung (German) or Niflung (Norse) have been used in different ways over the centuries, most commonly referring to a noble family or to dwarfs, neither of which are heavily associated with Niflheim."

I first want to point out that there is no in-text citation of any of these claims when one might expect even a pop-history novel like this to, but that isn't entirely important - the first major claim, that Nibelheim is named for Cloud, comes from word association across four languages. It has to, as none of the sources in the bibliography associate Nifl with 'fog' or 'cloud.'

Japanese itself cannot easily evidence a difference between these words to lay a hidden significance for a speaker who understands all four mentioned languages after transliteration. ニヴルヘイム, ニフルヘイム, and ニブルヘイム are all ways that Niflheim may be written in Japanese and would have all likely to have been pronounced 'Niburuheimu' and transliterated as Niflheim or Nibelheim depending on context. To somebody not writing on an explcitly Norse context, any of these might be as or more likely to be transliterated as 'Nibelheim.'

Japanese has no distinction between 'v,' 'f,' and 'b' sounds from loan words in its native phonemic inventory, and writing Niflheim as ニヴルヘイム is something that would not have been common in the mid-'90s. This is something that would have only become more common later as academic translations of works like those of Snorri Sturluson became available. These translations, though, would not have become common until the early 2000s, and the standardization of loaned words like Niflheim is recent enough that most articles about Niflheim in Japanese mention or use more than one of these forms.

This brings me to the second major claim, that the association of Final Fantasy VII's Nibelheim with Wagner's is misplaced when it ought to be attributed to Norse myth through word association. This is, to me, a baffling assertion when taken in context of the Compilation or the greater Japanese cultural context.

Setting aside that Final Fantasy VII (1997) is a Wagnerian spectacle at heart, the events of the Nibelheim Incident are even more reminiscent of a borrowing of Der Ring des Nibelungen than they are of Norse myth that would have been largely unavailable to the developers and relegated to university libraries miles and miles from Tokyo.

What would not have been difficult to access for somebody in Tokyo in the '80s and '90s would be the first and following performances of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen in Japan as part of the climax of the Opera Boom, mostly centering on Siegfried and Götterdämmerung after their initial performances at the Tokyo Nikikai Opera. Japan was, in part, going through a kind of Wagner mania at the time as Marumoto Takashi points out in his writings on opera in Japan. It wasn't interest in Norse and German mythology that exploded interest in Wagner in Japan, but interest in Wagner that exploded interest in Norse and German mythology.

Knowing this, it is hard not to see Cloud braving the fires of Nibelheim in order to be there for an unconscious Tifa as reflexive of Siegfried conquering his fear to reach the unconscious valkyrie Brünnhilde through the ring of fire surrounding her in Siegfried. With the added context of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth in 2024 having both Cloud brave literal rings of fire while fighting an enemy named "Custom Valkyrie" with a woman he is explicitly the bodyguard of and a reference to Wagner's Götterdämmerung in the Götterdämmerung accessory instead of to Ragnarok, it almost feels like a dismissal of Wagnerian connections without knowing the content of Der Ring des Nibelungen or Wagner's influence in Japan in the '80s and '90s. It even excludes other possible readings of the work, like in Loveless where Alphreid almost appears as a portmanteau of two central names in Der Ring des Nibelungen - Siegfried and Alberich.

That's what frustrates me about discussions on Final Fantasy VII and the Compilation at large. When you combine that poor Eurocentrism that fails to notice the context of Final Fantasy VII (1997) with a clinging to the words and stated intent of the author, you get readings that might be fun but miss a lot of really cool stuff. Yeah, it is cool to look at Norse mythology, but Final Fantasy VII was made in a context of Wagner mania and the popularity of Western opera in the face of economic stagnation that peaked in the same year as Final Fantasy VII's international release with the founding of the National Opera.

I didn't cite any source here because I'm used to Tumblr hating outside links, but Marumoto Takashi's English work comes up rather easily on even just a Google search, and I'm willing to hand out links if asked. Most everything else was just language and looking at the works cited in the text itself.

[floofble]

Replied to a comment on Reddit asking why I shipped Floofty x Gramble and thought, wow I wrote like almost 800 words, this should NOT be stuck on Reddit. Remembered I made this side-blog just to take @floofble as my user, so here’s my 2AM rambling about why I enjoy the pairing.

Wording might be off because, again, 2AM and Reddit comment reply. Feel free to offer your own insight, or to bash me for my opinion if you want lol.

Frankly, it’s difficult for me to really explain why I love the two so much because a lot of it comes down to my own personal headcanons and just the fact that I’ve liked the pairing since I first got into the fandom (about four years ago. Side note but DAMN, long time.)

When I did first join the fandom, I hated Wiggle with a burning passion and loved Gramble with all of my soul, thus causing me to hate Gramble and Wiggle as a pairing (I have moved on from this and I do like them now, but not exactly important to my ranting haha). I honestly just had wanted someone to pair with Gramble in spite of Wiggle. Who else to pick but the scientist on the other side of the beach that everyone was already shipping with half of the cast? In the beginning it was mostly just “haha, purple and pink sillies” but as I got more and more fixated on them I realized a lot of things that could genuinely make them an interesting pairing.

Firstly, their relationships with the Bugsnax sort of oppose each other yet mirror eachother in a fascinating way to me. Floofty’s entire goal throughout the game is to figure out a way the Bugsnax could be useful in a scientific/medical context. Their goal is based off of good for other grumpuses, and yet they socially isolate themself, seemingly not WANTING to build any relationships. Gramble, however, is pretty much the opposite. His sole purpose for coming to Snaktooth was to become part of a family, and despite the plethora of people surrounding him he too seems to isolate and instead fill the absence of a family with Bugsnax. I think, if written correctly, interactions between the two (whether platonic or romantic) could have added a lot of growth to their characters in regard to their relationships with others.

While Gramble having to come to terms with the fact that Bugsnax don’t make up for real connection and Floofty realizing that without connection they can never truly understand the people they are trying to help ARE points that occur in the canon end game, I think that the resolution of it all could have been a bit more satisfying if they had both had more interactions with people outside their main counterparts, and the fact that both of their resolutions revolve around relationships with others makes the pairing stand out.

Besides the whole story logistics of it, I think the two also parallel pretty well with our main boys (DRUMROLL PLEAAAAASE… Snorpy and Chandlo.) I think that any of them could mirror the other, honestly. The obvious choice of Floofty mirroring Snorpy for their sharing of a lack of social understanding/connection, their overall sort of high regard for themselves compared to others despite their obvious insecurities, honestly just the fact that they’re siblings, etc etc. Chandlo and Gramble’s mirroring is a bit less obvious, but it’s still there. Both of them have a surplus of love and care to give out based off of their respective canons, both are the more lighthearted of their couples, both also having obvious insecurity that they tend to shadow behind their resilience or just brush off all together.

Less obviously, Gramble could mirror Snorpy and Floofty could mirror Chandlo. Bear with me here. Gramble and Snorpy both have their extremely obvious anxieties. They both tend to dance around topics, resulting in miscommunication. They both isolate and have limited interaction with the others in game. Now, with Chandlo and Floofty I do think I might be reaching a tad bit, but here we go. Floofty and Chandlo both have a need to get things done themselves, a sort of a complex in all honesty. They are both stubborn as hell, though it’s more blunt with Floofty. Their goals are similar, just with Chandlo wanting to help one specific Grumpus rather than the entire race as a whole like Floofty.

There’s honestly a bajillion things I could say to explain this pairing. I was not expecting myself to write this much 😭 I guess, in conclusion, they have a shit ton of writing potential that I enjoy. Also, Floofty watching Gramble sleepwalk is funny. Don’t they have research they could be doing? Watching Gramble certainly isn’t helping you with your Bugsnax studies, Floofty.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

hi! I was wondering if you have any plans to return to Ted lasso anytime soon? No pressure, but your jamie+sam vs the gala fic has been living rent free in my mind for months now and I would be so excited to hear more about it!

Thank you! So the answer is probably not, unfortunately; I used up the last of my TL hyperfixation energy on Stand Where the Light Hits Hard and then really got back into my original writing (Arson and Other Fires, which is 113.6K at the moment), but because I'm probably not going to finish the gala fic — which I titled Through the Desert Repenting, after the Mary Oliver poem — I've included everything I had written for it (about 800 words) and the full outline under the cut so it can at least live rent-free in your head in a more complete way.

(from chapter 1)

The email had sat unopened in his inbox for three days like a bomb waiting to go off. Jamie’d stared at it for hours since it came in, five words in curlicue script flanked by dancing palm trees and glimmering hearts: Lust Conquers All Casting Call! It hadn’t come through his agent, who got and deleted a handful of reality TV offers every year since he got to the Premier League and started building up a following on his socials — Uri didn’t know about the email at all; would be fucking furious if he did, going on about how Jamie was a stupid shite, no better than a fucking child, he was, just look at the shit he got up to when he chose for himself. Except that wasn’t right. Uri was all cool judgement, fucking smirking all the time. Judging, but like thought it was funny when Jamie was an idiot, instead of infuriating. No, he wasn’t worried about Uri finding out, even if he’d be fucking insufferable. Not like...

He’d gone out with the lads, three nights ago, shirt shimmery blue and unbuttoned nearly to the navel to distract from the way he kept his arms covered past the wrists even in the muggy summer heat. Not like it mattered much anyway; he’d posted up at the bar inching his way through his vanilla vodka while his teammates danced and drank and enjoyed themselves the way Jamie couldn’t seem to fucking manage, these days. But he was still young, and fit, and a famous footballer, and so it didn’t take long for a woman to drop into the seat beside him, maybe a decade his senior with sleek dark hair pulled back in a bun and deep red lipstick and a black blazer open over a black shirt, formal like she’d come directly from work. She held out her hand to shake and said, “Jamie, my name is Molly.” Business-like, not pretending she didn’t know who he was like people sometimes did.

“Hey,” he said. Considered telling her to piss off but company might be nice, actually, if only to keep him from spending another night in the empty cavern of his house. Maybe they could go to hers. Stay the night, shower together in the morning. If dad asked where he’d been... well, dad liked when he did shit like that. Proved he was a man.

She leaned forward on her elbows all serious-like. Smiled up at him like they were sharing some great secret. She said, “Jamie, I’m a producer on Lust Conquers All.”

“Shit, for real?”

“Yeah, for real,” she said. Leaned in even closer so he could smell her floral perfume, rested her hand on his wrist, long nails digging in. “You a fan?”

Mummy’d never had much taste for dating shows after all the shit she went through with dad, but he and Keeley had watched three seasons back-to-back not long after they started dating, when one of ‘em had caught the flu off the other and they spent a week in bed all fucking gross and drippy and sweaty. It was one of his favourite memories, just sitting there with her feeling fucking miserable, debating over who’d win between sips of tea. “A bit, yeah. Not as much as footie.” His skin itched under her hand, muscles twitching to move, to tuck back into himself like the child dad always accused him of being, too chickenshit for a woman’s touch, eh, son? So he held himself still and said, “You filming soon, then?”

Molly laughed, high and tinkling like wind chimes crashing together. “Why, you looking for a spot?”

“Nah.” Meant to laugh it off — it was a joke, obviously; they were halfway through pre-season already — but his voice came out flat, too quiet under the noise of the club.

“I mean that, Jamie.” Her thumb stroked along the inside of his arm. “Everyone needs a break, you know? Some time in the sun, good, fit company.”

He shook his head. “I can’t just fuck off, the team needs me.” Only they didn’t, really. He might be spending less time on the bench than he had before Richmond, but he wasn’t a regular starter, still had the 51 plastered on his back. Probably get traded keeping on the way he was, dad had taken to saying; Richmond had made him lazy, wanted to be on top somewhere it was easy instead of working for it, was that it?

(from chapter ????)

Roy stepped out onto the pitch to find the boys all stood around whispering at each other like a pack of primary schoolers instead of doing their stretches. "Oi!" he called, and they all turned to him wide-eyed and shifty. "What the fuck do you lot think you're doing?" And then the constant headcount that ran in his head automatic since he'd first become captain back in his Chelsea days caught up and he realized there was one twat missing from the mix — which was fine, because he was the one twat out of the whole lot that was emphatically not his responsibility. If Tartt wanted to skip training, that was one less day having to deal with the little shit.

His resolve lasted all of two minutes, glancing back at the tunnel waiting for that head stupid slicked-back hair to appear as the rest of the lads ran through their stretches. "Where the fuck is Tartt?" he demanded. The boys went quiet and still, like someone had flicked a light switch. At the back of the group, Sam locked eyes with Jan and shook his head frantically, and if Jamie had somehow roped Sam into his bullshit after the way he'd treated the lad last season, he really would fucking kill him—

"He's crying in the boot room," Jan announced.

"Fucking what?" Roy asked, train of thought abruptly derailed. "Why the fuck would he be doing that?"

Roy stepped into the boot room and for a moment he was convinced it was all some stupid fucking prank, or that Jamie'd gone and skived off training and somehow convinced Jan and Sam to cover for him, not that he's crying in the boot room made any fucking sense for that. And then he heard it: a drawn-out sound, high and keening and muffled.

The Outline:

Jamie's No Good, Very Bad Summer

Jamie returns to Manchester; James Tartt Sr. is himself (derogatory); scout for LCA shows up at one of his matches, agrees to go on the show on impulse; arrival in the villa; questionable consent of the challenges; Jamie vs the producers, difficulty understanding social norms, too overtly strategic — gets kicked off, panics about what he's going to do and his father's anger

Sam's Nice Happy Relaxing Fun Time Summer

Sam goes home to visit his family as soon as the season ends; doesn't check the news/team chat so he finds out about Roy's retirement and Jamie joining LCA at the same time (has read some articles about reality TV and doesn't like it); wary about Jan Maas whom he suspects will be Jamie 2.0; Jan notices and they talk, Sam tells him about Jamie; team morale is somewhat low but enjoying the atmosphere; sees picture of Jamie and Ted's meeting

Many (Un)Happy Returns

Jamie returns, Sam is angry but also feels a bit bad about pushing him around; Jamie is nervous about everyone hating him but also doesn't entirely understand why they won't forgive him, alternates between not really talking to anyone and trying to be very complimentary; first match back (loss); rest of the team goes out to celebrate breaking the draw streak, discuss Jamie's new attitude which they find suspicious; Jamie gets a call from his dad for his birthday and backslides a bit in training the next day; Isaac and Ted both (separately) pull him aside to talk to him; Jamie goes home and panics some more

The Liminal Space

Jamie comes to work the next day desperate to find a way to win over the team, proposes buying PS5s and ends up talking to Dr. Sharon when Keeley brings him there; Led Tasso thing which Jan thinks is very weird and freaks Jamie out a bit; Sam deals with the Dubai Air thing, team goes out, this time with Jamie; James calls Jamie; Sam debriefs with his dad who lightly scolds him for not doing his due diligence about DA; comes in and eats lunch with Jamie which is kind of awkward but friendly

Sam, Jan, and Jamie vs the AFC Richmond Charity Gala

Period of decent relations with the team but Jamie spends Christmas alone; when they get back after break, Ted casually mentions doing some early prep for the gala, which they explain to Jan Maas who points out that it's creepy; Sam finds himself thinking about it and still feels guilty about Dubai Air; tries to talk to the team but most don't get it, Jan agrees to help; Jamie notices Sam and Jan cornering teammates to talk to individually about the gala and starts avoiding them; Roy comes back and ignores Jamie; Jan and Sam finally corner Jamie in the boot room to give him the talk and he panics; after Sam and Jan tell Roy where Jamie went, Roy comes in and gives him a pep talk; Jamie volunteers to help with the gala-changing petition, talks a bit about LCA and brainstorm ideas; give presentation to Rebecca, Keeley, and the coaches who agree that it's a bit last-minute but they can change the auction to something else

The Gala but Not Creepy This Time

Event part 1: play football with the kids; event part 2: fancy dinner where the auction is to win a partner for an in-venue activity (like mini golf or something I'll figure it out); Roy and Jamie talk about the last gala, Roy apologizes; the lads hang out and have fun happy ending yay

[baiwu-jinji]

Hello! I’ve read your thoughts on TGCF and I really enjoy them.

I also like the cultural references and knowledge you bring to the table. It’s something that gets lost in English translation and learning about it just adds another layer to enjoy about TGCF.

Recently I saw some asks/answers compare Hualian to another couple. I haven’t read the other story 😅 but I have heard similar opinions of Hualian being very idealized, too perfect, unrealistic or all three.

I’ve been very curious about this part as I also have a vague memory of someone noting that even the author says Hualian is like a fairytale.

I was surprised about this because their softness, respect and unconditional love for each other is something I really love about them.🌸🌸🌸

Could you share more of your perspective on this?

Is it the waiting 800 years part? The unconditional acceptance and devotion on Hua Cheng’s part(and Xie Lian’s side too)? The lack of arguments between them?

For my part , obviously 800 years is a fantastical amount of time to remain in love and devoted to someone. Especially considering how little time Hua Cheng spent with Xie Lian in the beginning. I am totally willing to suspend my belief for these two points and chalk it up to Hua Cheng’s personality. I also think Hua Cheng’s love for Xie Lian grew and matured as he did.

It’s really interesting too that those very positive traits - unconditional devotion, faith and love (not obedience because honestly Hua cheng quiet frequently disobeys😅) while more obviously written in a positive light can be explored in fanfiction from the other end. And I don’t mean obsession or stalking, but more like loving someone to the point of your own detriment.

And Hualian, though certainly they didn’t really argue in the book, they did have disagreements. (And I think in the revised novel, of at least the translated part I read, they do get a more serious argument)

To me, their easy acceptance and the unconditional love aspect can be chalked up to their personality, life experiences and the fact they both have lived centuries long.

Anyhow, I know I rambled on a bit. 😅😅😅

But I am really curious on your feedback about this or a link if you answered this more in detail with a similar ask.

Thank you! 😊

Hi! :) Thank you for your kind words and sorry about the really late reply ><  MXTX once wrote about a dream she had where a voice told her that TGCF is like a “a little red clay stove” (I translated MXTX’s dream here). The literary reference of “a little red clay stove” symbolises the warmth and comfort of domestic life and the joy of friendship and companionship, which I think is what MXTX wants Hualian’s relationship to stand for - Hualian is meant to be warm, tender, homely and cosy, with as little friction as possible in the relationship. It is a very idealised relationship (how can it not be with HC’s unfading love for and faith in XL and XL’s instinctual and almost instant trust in HC), and that’s why people love Hualian, because we long to be loved with such unconditional acceptance and unwavering devotion ourselves, and we want to find someone we could love with unconditional acceptance and unwavering devotion, whether such love is possible in real life or not. Hualian’s success and popularity is clearly not due to it being a gritty and brutally honest interrogation of the complexities of romantic relationships in realistic contexts, but because it is the sort of ideal relationship of pure bliss people dream of having. Therefore I can’t say Hualian’s idealisation of romantic relationships is one of its literary flaws because it’s never aiming to be otherwise, and its idealistic nature is one of its main selling points.

This is a digression but what I find interesting about Hualian is this sort of paradox in HC being both a lover and a worshipper - to worship a god is to worship his divine infallibility, but to love a human is to love his human fallibility (but then Borges said that “to fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god”, so that resolves the paradox?). And it makes me think about what HC means when he says to XL “I’m forever your most devoted believer.” What is it that HC eternally believes in as XL's believer? It’s not XL’s infallibility, or perfection, or omnipotence, or incorruptibility, or inexhuastable goodness that HC believes in, because XL is neither of those things, so what is it that HC believes in? Maybe what HC forever believes in is the fact that he will love XL forever - maybe that’s what HC is a believer of…

I hope this answer makes sense, and in short I meant to say that I can’t deny Hualian is idealised, but that’s what makes them appealing.

[fairybinie]

KISS, DON’T TELL — 15: if's and when's

synopsis: popular and menacingly wicked choi beomgyu has the entire senior class wrapped around his finger. the high school drama club has cherished y/n as their veteran for four years. to fulfill beomgyu’s graduation requirements, he must join y/n’s drama club despite his grudges. unbeknownst to everyone else, y/n and beomgyu have their history. they’ve kissed before (or more like y/n has bitten his lip to bleed) and beomgyu hasn’t lived it down ever since. y/n cannot stand this guy. they can make it through the entire year as the leads in their play, right?

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a/n: written (3.8k) + smau. mentions of kissing, nothing else i can see! so sorry for the wait i hope this was worth it 😔

...

but good to know :D

really y/n?

y/n could have chosen to ignore the last few messages of his remorse and just told him them were on their way. they also could have chosen to ignore that beomgyu can actually bring a smile to their face and their limited interactions have been replaying in their head since they have occurred. it’s hard to ignore a feeling like that.

texting beomgyu these past days and observing him in class has led y/n to believe that maybe there is more to him than what he is displaying. it’s no doubt that he keeps up an image for everyone else to believe and roll with, hell, even idolize with. y/n knew that already, but they weren’t sure if there was anything below the surface. did he even have a personality besides the obnoxious one that was 24/7? the fact that he seemed to be sorrowful about his comments just now might insinuate that he has a conscious. sure, it wasn’t there before. perhaps something shifted in the boy recently. why?

come to think of it, y/n really doesn't know anything about this guy. he plays guitar, that’s something, right? does beomgyu want to become a musician despite being stern about the fact that he doesn’t have a passion? he has to have one.

questions, questions, questions that y/n is hoping to get answers to.

most of all, why is he still hung up on the shared kiss that happened four years ago?

choi beomgyu intrigues them, whether they would like to admit it or not.

“y/n! hello?”

y/n shudders away their thoughts and stares blankly at the red light in front of them. their hands grip tightly around the dark leather material around their steering wheel as they glance at their car radio. an ongoing call with their friends that has lasted fifteen minutes.

y/n reaches for their temple as they begin to mindlessly rub circles, waiting for the light to turn green. they kept their word to soobin’s request to call them when they were heading to beomgyu’s house.

“sorry, what happened?”

someone groans in response, y/n’s guess is eliana. her groans were engrained in their head as they were always the receiving end to them.

“we were talking about going to disneyland during winter break,” eliana reminds with no distinction in her voice.

yes, disneyland. of course. y/n readjusts themselves to the mood and the light changes as they do, stepping their foot on the gas pedal.

“right- yeah, i’m on board-”

a howl cuts y/n off mid sentence as each speaker in the vehicle blasts with each rhythm of laughter, that of which belongs to kai. y/n is taken aback momentarily, but it soon hits them that was not the topic of conversation.

“can we actually go, though?” kai genuinely asks once he pulls himself together. soobin agreeingly replies with instinct to satisfy kai in the moment.

“you’re not paying attention,” eliana points out to y/n, seeing right through them despite not being in the car with them. “what’s up, babe?”

y/n makes a U-turn once they realize that they missed the correct street. “sorry guys, i was distracted.”

“y/n, you don’t have to go if you’re not comfortable,” soobin advises which brings a slight smile to y/n’s face. soobin was always protective over them and the whole group appreciated him for it, even if it could be overbearing at times.

“no no, it’s not that,” y/n reassures as they look at their phone mounted on the dashboard to check if this is the right corner to make a turn.

“then what is it?” kai asks with some concern in his voice. being the youngest in the group has always made him worry for his older friends. he was a perfect little brother.

“nothing! trust me,” y/n barely tries to sound convincing. the group looks it over this one time considering that y/n is driving. it would be understandable if their attention wasn’t fully there.

y/n ends the gps navigation as they push the center console to park. “i’m here.”

they haven’t been to beomgyu’s house in years, not since the incident occurred. frankly, the trauma it induced for them made them forget the details of the inside. the patio outside reminisces the other houses in this neighborhood. though it’s dark outside, the beaming stars in the night sky highlight the string of florescent lights that shape the doorway in the front. it’s a nice touch, they remember it made them feel comfortable coming in last time.

“it’s not too late to back out,” soobin says one last time. he’s still nervous for his best friend.

“i’ll be fine soobin,” y/n replies before he continues to go on. they stare at the home and release a whisper. “i hope.”

“okay, well, text us right after,” eliana cautions, bringing out her inner mother role.

a swarm of goodbyes and love you’s were exchanged before the call was ended. y/n detaches their phone from the dashboard and gathers their essentials and soon exit the vehicle. they give their car a lock as they head towards the doorway. each footstep is light, but tense. it’s until now that they see some bear stickers on the door and they can’t help but admire the cuteness. they wonder if that was a recent addition as it wasn’t there the last time.

with a big inhale, they ring the doorbell.

there was a moment of waiting and y/n contemplated ringing it one more time. they remember what eliana said about coming across as desperate, but they never cared about that prior to this. in all honesty, they needed to rely on beomgyu. he was their co-star after all.

why do they now feel this twisting feeling inside their stomach at the thought of being desperate?

y/n hears footsteps approach the door and they straighten their sweater to prepare. they’re wearing a simple white t-shirt that hugs their figure just right with a light blue hooded sweater, courtesy of kai. his clothes were always the comfiest and y/n made it a habit to search through his closet every time they come over. soobin gets slightly pouty at the thought. y/n doesn’t know if it’s because they borrow kai’s clothes, or if he wants to borrow them. the thought makes them chuckle.

fresh conditioned air blows right at y/n’s face as the door opens and the boy stands at the other end. he’s wearing brown plaid pajama bottoms topped with a beige crewneck with a teddy bear in the right corner. that little detail makes y/n think the decor on the door was intentional. a hint of softness makes some way into their heart. they fight the urge to smile.

“hey,” beomgyu greets with a downwards smile. “did you make it over here safe?”

beomgyu’s voice has a naturally tired tone to it. even if he’s not sleepy it always sounds casual and lustful. y/n doesn’t know if it’s always been like this or if they just noticed.

he’s also asking about their safety. who is this guy?

“um, yeah,” y/n replies as they rock their feet back and forth. beomgyu nods and realizes that he has to let them inside so he opens the door all the way and reaches his arm out to gesture the inside. y/n takes the offer.

with each step y/n observes the house as much as they can. it has been a while since they’ve been here but as far as they remember, not much has changed. some furniture has been rearranged and some new decor here and there, but it’s still very much beomgyu’s home. the interior has black and brown elements which gives it a homey feeling. it’s like if autumn and hot chocolate was a home.

just like he said, he did have the house to himself. beomgyu leads them to the kitchen and y/n sees a few family photos plastered on the fridge door. some were just of his parents, others were baby pictures of beomgyu. it seems like he’s always been on the devious side after catching a glance of a young boy pointing a toy gun at the camera with no thought behind his eyes.

y/n glimpses at a group photo with beomgyu, his parents, and an older child. they were posing in front of an amusement park with big grins on their faces. y/n has never seen this other boy before, perhaps it was beomgyu’s brother.

y/n shifts their gaze over to the kitchen counter and sees two bowls of ramen sitting in the center. guess he was being serious about providing them with food. they were starving though.

“i don’t know how you usually eat yours so i just put my fixings on,” beomgyu speaks slightly embarrassed. y/n eyes the bowl a little longer than they intended. they were just trying to piece together why on earth he would make them food.

“relax, i didn’t poison it or anything,” beomgyu jokes while holding the soup in his hands, digging into his first bite with his chopsticks. the idea did cross y/n’s mind, which makes them feel a bit apologetic.

is that how bad they see him?

y/n slowly walks over to the aisle and joins beomgyu. “do you want to work here?”

“we could go to my room,” beomgyu suggests as his eyes hide behind his bowl while he slurps some broth. there was no hint of anything sinister in beomgyu’s voice but the statement still makes y/n’s eyes widen.

“no,” they simply respond faster than they wished. they walk around the counter and sit in one of the spinning chairs where their bowl lays out in front of them. “right here is fine.”

beomgyu shrugs his shoulders and sits down next to them. y/n reaches to their tote bag and pulls out the lengthy script which has notes sticking out from certain areas and highlighted parts to accompany them. beomgyu nearly chokes mid slurp at the sight.

“sooo, how do we do this?” as beomgyu stretches out his question, y/n takes their first bite into their food. just as they feared, it was delicious. so much flavor in everything, but not too overbearing in being salty or spicy. they could attempt to figure out which brand he used, but they’re here for other things.

“well,” y/n finishes swallowing their food. “we could start with any questions you might have.”

“yeah, i’m sure you have all the answers,” beomgyu stiffly laughs as he brings his head forward to the script that centers in front of the two.

y/n feels their cheeks flush red and heat up at the exposure. they hope he doesn’t notice. “i just mean if you need anything to be clarified. it could help you play the role better.”

beomgyu draws in his breath and stares at the stack of papers longingly. throughout his education, he was taught to find the theme of each piece he reads. reading this script has given him an idea of what it could be in this case, but some parts are a bit foggy. he feels self-conscious asking y/n what it is. he doesn’t want them to think he’s an idiot, even though they probably already think he is. they’ve made their dislike for him quite obvious.

“um, i guess,” beomgyu holds his gaze in front but can feel y/n’s eyes on his. his blood pulses through his skin. “what this story is really about, you know, deep down.”

he’s expecting y/n to laugh in his face just like he did to them the other day, but they don’t. instead, y/n understandingly nods as they push their half eaten soup to the side to leave enough room to put their elbows on the table. for some reason, beomgyu finds this endearing. he was always scolded for leaving his elbows on the table. it wasn’t polite, apparently.

“well, ben is at crossroads when he gets into a college with a full basketball scholarship, but also gets into his dream school that would support his performing arts career. no one knows he's interested in that field so it's the good 'ol following the head or heart thing, which i'm always a sucker for.”

beomgyu watches y/n go on about the story for the production, even going over key plots that beomgyu might have missed. he notices there seems to be stars in y/n's eyes as they continue to talk. he can tell that they're speaking from the heart.

“i'm assuming that's the passion concept mrs. kim was going over in class the first day?” beomgyu guesses in thought.

“yeah, ben loves to perform and even plays guitar at some point,” y/n eagerly responds. “which should be easy for you, since you play right?”

beomgyu feels a small smile form on his lips. he quickly covers it up with another bite of his meal.

“wouldn't you consider that your passion?” y/n decides to try to get an answer out of him. it's been bugging them all this time that he hasn't been open about it.

“i know you really enjoy it, beomgyu,” y/n did catch his change in expression earlier. “you must be good at it too. if you admit that's what you're passionate about, it'll help you a ton.”

there's a moment of silence as beomgyu takes in their words and figures out what to do with them. the quiet atmosphere is almost uncomfortable and y/n can't tell if they've overstepped their boundaries. they consider leaving, but they did have an agenda here, and that was to rehearse some of this with beomgyu. instead, they opt for reaching to turn the page.

“i do love playing guitar,” beomgyu promptly admits. “and it is my passion. my uncle gave me my first guitar when i was in middle school and i haven't stopped playing since.”

y/n smiles at the thought of a small beomgyu, who was probably more unhinged than he is now, sitting down and playing a relaxing acoustic guitar. if they were told this years ago, they wouldn't have believed it. the more they look at beomgyu, it suits him. the calluses on certain fingers with those round, deep brown eyes of his focusing on a music sheet. the low husk to his voice covering songs with a beautiful essence.

“why didn't you want to admit it in class?” y/n realizes they needed to speak before it appears they've been staring at the boy for too long.

“because i barely wanted to admit it to myself,” beomgyu responds in full honesty. “my parents just see it as a hobby and don't think it can take me anywhere in life as it's not an official profession.”

y/n recalls the text beomgyu sent about only them and his parents knowing he plays guitar. his last sentence even has them think about their conversations with their dad, that sentiment hits too close to home. y/n chooses not to bring it up to beomgyu. they sit with caution as they wonder how many questions they could ask him.

“there's so many things you could do with that talent,” instead of potentially saying the wrong thing, y/n offers him some possible careers to lift his spirits. “you could be a songwriter, a producer. hey, even when you make it in the big leagues you could be a sound engineer in the blockbuster movies!”

there's a part to y/n's monologue that catches beomgyu's attention.

when you make it in the big leagues.

they didn't say if, they said when. beomgyu has never heard that word in regards to his future. it was always 'if', 'maybe', or any other tense that doubts his passion.

has he gotten his first supporter? and was it someone he has shared a moment so personal as a kiss?

“you said when,” beomgyu decides to bring up the fact.

it takes a moment for y/n to register what he means, but with the astonished expression on his face, the feeling soon settles in on them. y/n has their supporters, it was time for beomgyu to have his. despite how they feel about him and their past history that annoyingly hangs on their head, they weren't a monster. perhaps it was time to see beomgyu in a different light and it appears that they were the only one to do so.

“so throughout the story dae is there for ben to open his eyes in realizing that pursuing his dream is the right path to go,” y/n steers off in a different direction. “since it's romance, of course there has to be a fling between them.”

beomgyu softly smiles to himself picturing the story unfold. “i'm sure ben appreciates dae being there for him and seeing what he can do.”

y/n feels warm as they see beomgyu finally start to understand the plot and it only took them to have an honest conversation. talking with beomgyu wasn't as bad as they expected.

“i'm sure dae loves supporting him through it all when no one else would.”

beomgyu lifts his head up to face y/n who is gazing right back at him. it's the first time their expression isn't written in disgust or annoyance. in fact, it appears to be loving. he wishes it could always be like this.

the moment stretches out a little longer and beomgyu can't help but glance down at y/n's lips. he wonders if it still tastes like cherry chapstick. the red tint they have makes him believe it's still accurate. y/n catches the gesture and coughs down some air as they play with the edges of the paper. they fight the urge to not rip the ends of it and curl them into little balls, a habit they got from kai.

“so…yeonjun and taehyun don't know?” y/n speaks in an airy voice, their eyes still locked on the words written in front of them.

beomgyu doesn't know if they're referring to the guitar thing, or the kiss they shared four years ago.

frankly, y/n isn't sure about what they mean either.

still, beomgyu chooses an answer to please both questions.

“not a single thing.”

y/n hums in response, their lips tight together. beomgyu plays with the chopsticks in his now empty bowl when he hears a voice speak up once again.

“would you be able to play for me?”

beomgyu knows this question is referring to his talent for guitar, and due to the seriousness he's been displaying this entire time now, he switches gears for a lighthearted moment.

“i'll play for you when we go on a date.”

y/n would expect some rage boil down to their stomach, as they would have reacted that way before. this feeling, though? was it butterflies? nervousness? whatever it was, it sure wasn't negative. this night is full of firsts.

“do you…do you want to rehearse some of it now?” y/n clears their throat in between. beomgyu doesn't question their non-response and agrees with a head nod.

…

the two got through the first act right at midnight. to their surprise, beomgyu wasn't that bad at acting. sure, he missed a couple cues that ensued some awkward presentations, but it's nothing they couldn't work on together. they even liked the slight challenge. being co-stars with soobin now seemed too easy for them.

beomgyu was the difference they needed.

“you can be honest, you know,” beomgyu speaks in a playful manner as he finishes the last dish to wash. he hands the bowl for y/n to dry with a damp rag.

“i mean it! you weren't terrible,” y/n chuckles while they reach to put the bowl away in the cupboards.

after beomgyu and y/n finished rehearsing the first half they decided to wash the dishes. y/n didn't even suggest helping him dry, they just did it with no questions asked. still, it was another conversation starter.

“that means a lot coming from you,” beomgyu snickers and reaches for the rag in y/n's hands to dry his own. he smiles at them while looking down at their sweater, noticing a small stain of sauce near the front.

“hey, you got something there,” he points out as y/n glances down at the gesture, mentally cursing in their head. they hated getting their clothes dirty, let alone their borrowed ones from kai.

y/n whines as they reach for a paper towel to attempt to clean it off, only to have beomgyu stop them in between the action.

“you'll make it worse,” beomgyu advises. “i have a washing machine upstairs if you wanted to stay a little while longer.”

y/n would have rejected the offer if it weren't for their washing machine being repaired as they speak. they really loved this sweatshirt, they were hoping to wear it again this week. they scrunch their nose as their left eye slightly squints, thinking about what they should do.

they weren't repulsed by hanging out with beomgyu a little more, but sleep was about to hit them at any moment. it was better if they left now before they accidentally take a nap at a red light.

“i would but i should be getting home,” y/n apologetically responds.

“are you sure? you could give it to me and i'll have it ready for you tomorrow,” beomgyu cringes at the fact that he sounds like a dry cleaner. y/n finds it amusing.

man, how they loved that sweatshirt.

“fine just- don't screw it up,” y/n warns as they slip off the piece of clothing, feeling a breeze hit the bottom of their stomach as it lifts a little along with it.

y/n hands him the sweatshirt warily, hesitating to give it to him all the way, to which beomgyu responds with a deadpan. y/n smiles and ultimately gives it to him, and beomgyu places it on the couch for him to put away later.

y/n walks over to their tote bag and beomgyu suggests walking them outside. part of it was to be a gentleman, but he just wanted to see them drive away safely. y/n wouldn't be aware of the second option.

“don't forget your script next time,” y/n finally instructs him at the door. they're on the outside as beomgyu stays inside, hanging his arm on the doorframe as a slight smirk forms on his face.

“wouldn't count on it, i love this story too much now,” beomgyu doesn't mean to admit the last part, but y/n can't help but cheese at the statement.

“i'm glad to hear that,” y/n crosses their arms with a grin as they take a few steps back, ready to head to their vehicle.

“i'll give you updates on your sweater when i text you,” beomgyu calls out to them. “goodnight, drive safe.”

y/n sends over two thumbs up and begins to back up once they're inside their car. beomgyu doesn't head inside until they're completely out of his sight.

…

y/n doesn't fall asleep as quickly as they would've thought. they've been spending the past hour mindlessly scrolling through their feed, feeling their eyes blink slowly each time.

how could they sleep when tonight went better than they thought?

a notification appears at the top that brings a grin ear to ear and it's at this moment they realize one thing.

there would be no false promises between them and beomgyu.

there would be no more 'if's'.

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

© fairybinie

[captain-grammar]

While we wait and wait and wait for The Old Guard 2 to finally be released from the hostage situation that is Netflix's ongoing 'production issues', I thought I'd share a list of the TOG fics I've written than I'm the most happy with and proud of.

We Will Remember [4k, pre-canon, outsider POV]

"They're the best I've ever seen." That's what the soldier tells Jacob as he marches him through the mud and fog and stench of the smouldering, liberated town in the middle of God Knows Where. "Four of the toughest soldiers you'll ever meet." "Four?" Jacob is incredulous, barely keeping pace through the gear on his back. "There's only four of them?" The soldier scoffs, stopping outside one of the most beat-up, dirt encrusted Crusaders the world has ever seen, sitting conspicuously in the centre of the battered town square. He hammers a fist onto the impenetrable shell, the thump of his hand reverberating dully, like knocking on the doors of an ancient castle. "Trust me," he says with a smirk. "They only need four."

2. Stronger Anchors [2k, pre-canon, AndyxBooker]

“Quynh?” [Andromache] asked simply after a beat. Sébastien gave a curt, derisive laugh. “Who else?” Andromache felt a small smile break over her. If Sébastien was answering back quite so drily he, must be alright. “Well, you are not alone in that tonight,” she replied dulcetly. Sébastien watched Andromache carefully, the aura of grief more visible to him tonight than it had been for a long time. “Are you alright?” His tone was gently enquiring and his penetrating stare somehow demanded honesty. Andromache sighed a long, hushed exhale as she wondered how much to tell him. “Nights like these… I get to thinking. About Quynh.” Andromache’s murmur was reluctant and she found herself unable to meet his studious gaze. “Perhaps it does not do well to think too much.”

3. I Won't Let You Sink [800, pre-canon, BookerxNicky]

[Sebastien] can’t bear the way Nicolò is looking at him, gaze full of concern and heartbreak. Feeling pitiable and pathetic, not wanting to discuss it, he lies back down, rolling away to face the crumbling plaster on the wall, screwing his eyes shut, willing every hateful feeling within him to leave him be. Nicolò doesn’t see him as pitiable in the least. After all that Sebastien has lost, after over 100 years of nightmares that come and go with no warning or trigger, the only thing he wants is to comfort him. To let him know that he’s not alone and he’s certainly not drowning in anything but his own grief and that he, Yusuf and Andromache can help him if he’ll let them. He’s verbalised it many times; words that have clearly fallen on deaf ears. Actions speak infinitely louder.

4. Codeword Blue [2k, post-canon, JoexNickyxBooker, NSFW]

In a quiet moment somewhere in Norway, [Nile] noticed the hand Nicky laid on the small of Booker’s back as they passed each other in the kitchen. Weeks later in Germany, the celebratory hug between Booker and Joe when A. S Roma were soundly beaten by Shakhtar Donetsk that lingered a little too long. “What was that?” Nile had asked, turning wide eyed and opened mouthed to Andy, sat beside her at the kitchen table, drinking the tea Quynh had made them both. “About 200 years in the making,” Andy replied, cryptic as ever, grinning over the rim of her mug, her face the picture of joy as she observed Booker and Joe, smiling as the two men seemed to remember they weren’t alone and quickly found their seats again. If there was any dance that had pre-dated the current situation, Andy had seen it all and wasn’t surprised. Quynh, knowing Joe and Nicky as she did, had her theories as to why their ire towards Booker was as visceral and venomous as it was. It seemed there was something much more potent than anger between the three of them...

5. Bloom [12k, pre-canon, JoexBooker, NSFW]

Joe leaned a little closer into Sébastien's body and laid his damp palm delicately on his side, a leaping nervousness swooping through him as he did. There was no scar, no mark to mar the soft, tanned skin beneath his fingers. Nothing to cause concern or to indicate that his immortality was waning. Any of the initial anger Joe had felt was now nothing more than a fleeting memory but something deeper clung to his thoughts like a bad dream that hangs to the edges of the mind upon waking. What if…? What if it hadn’t healed? What if the bleeding hadn’t stopped? What if they lost him?  I don’t want to lose him, Joe thought, watching his thumb as it traced light circles over Sébastien's flesh, barely aware that it was his own hand. I’m not ready for his death. I don’t want him to leave me. He wasn’t angry at Sébastien at all. He was scared for him.

[contentloadingandstuff]

Hi I know it was a vent post and you probably don't want anyone to i guess give advice/support (idk what to call this) but!! As a person who consumes content, especially written, i can tell you for sure that writing is a great skill to have! Like in school, people would pay me to write/help them with essays. But that's not important - what is important is that you are a great writer! And I don't know how long it's been since you started trying things outside of tumblr, but things take time. Unless you are super famous or have connections, you're not going to get involved in things right away. And that's okay!!! That doesn't mean you suck. It allows you to build a name for yourself as you continue doing great work that will get you recognized eventually!

But seriously, writing is NOT a skill that EVERYONE can just do. I've read work from people who could be a great artist as you said, but their writing reads as if it was written by a child. Or even a decent enough story that is better than a child's level, but still flows horrible and makes me try to skip parts to get to what I'm interested in. And I see this very prominently in the nsfw spaces, although there are some great writers like you, there are just as many (and im not trying to be rude) subpar writers. There's just no way I can stress enough that writing, especially being able to write things of a good quality, is a skill that is very important and i know you'll get to where you hope to be in time, and am grateful you continue to make content!

Like literally i am obsessed with your blog and I check at least every 2 days or so if not every day at least once. Please continue the great work you do, and continue growing in your craft and i knowyou will achieve your goals and i will personally look forward to everything you'll write!

-an experienced fanfic reader!

It's perfectly okay to write as you did here - posting my thoughts on a public blog means that I'm alright with people seeing it and commenting on it. Hm... Now that I think of it, I may be over sharing on the blog in general, but, honestly? It's my corner of the internet, and it's an important place to me - so it's probably alright. Anyway...

I wasn't expecting anybody to put this level of thought into any sort of interaction with me, if I am to be honest. I'm positively taken aback.

First of all, thank you. Reading this was very uplifting, and I will hold onto your ask, returning to it in moments of doubt. I can't stress how wholesome it felt... So just... Thank you.

The amusing thing is that I was never a great student at school, and essays that I created (both in my native language, Polish, and English) were usually mediocre. But I definitely had a better time, enjoyment wise, with Polish essays since those in English were always absurd. Very general, require certain hard words or phrases, and the damned word limit. On my highschool finals in C1 English I had to write an essay about the risks and opportunities AI provides (if I had a penny for every time I wrote about something like this, I would have a lot of them, but I wouldn't be able to buy more than a pack of gum)... in under 800 words. I'm a simple guy - either do it properly, or don't do it at all. These kinds of restrictions are the bane of my writing. Still, I got an 88%. Polish is similar, but there's no arbitrary word limit and the formal requirements go on for pages of rules and regulations. Brr. Never want to do it again. But I will. Since I'm studying law and all. The point is, I wasn't good at writing in the official sense - which doesn't give me a solid base of confidence in myself, and it's visible in the frequency of me doubting myself here.

Tsk. Pathetic. I'm making a clown of myself in front of hundreds of people, am I not? Typical of me.

In general, having my own blog killed most of my interest in reading and watching what others are doing, though I still occasionally read up. And when I do - comparisons. Okay, so this fic is short, not much attention paid to pacing and style, quite generic in topic, written with the most stereotypical words for this kind of content, but it's nice... Oh? Oh. It has over two thousand likes, reblogs and comments. Cool. What does it do that I don't? Am I writing too long fics? I do think so, because short form tends to get more attention. That's perfectly reasonable, but sad nonetheless. I can't fully enjoy the stuff of other people for another reason as well - my mind screams a question at me every short moment - "and what have YOU done that measures up to this?". This doesn't only apply to fics. Kinkymation, a nsfw comic creator for genshin, zzz and a few others that's quite famous, has it all seemingly - very characteristic and memorable style, good, wholesome content, lots of it too, and can write a good enough narrative. I even heard that he does animations now. The only minor shortcoming is I think the lack of variation in his stuff - everything is vanilla ice cream, wholesome-romantic and slightly cheesy at times. But he's still a great cc.

He has everything one could dream of in this "field", and I constantly compare myself to him. And the conclusion? I am nothing. I am a flounder, a bottom feeder in comparison to him.

It's not that I want to earn money - as you surely noticed, I never ever prompted my Kofi since I made it in spring of 2024. I just want to make something that I can be proud of, especially if it includes joining forces with those that make up for my lack of artistic skills. It would be very nice, for sure.

Alas, the reality is what it is, as the saying goes.

Never mind. On a final note, if you're checking contentloadingandstuff this frequently, I really need to kick myself into high(er) gear. You wish me well, and I should show some basic gratitude.

Again, thank you. So much.

[flowerparrish]

FIC WRITING REVIEW 2024

Thank you to @42donotpanic for tagging me in this!! I am so pleased with how much fic I actually ended up writing this year, and I was only recently compiling my stats, so I've been really excited to share since you tagged me!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.Artists and gif makers, please also join in with any quantitative or qualitative stats or facts you want to share about your year.

Words & Fics

56,756 words posted across 51 works!

Average length written per posted fic: 1112 words!

Drabbles written: 5 drabbles, 4 double drabbles, 1 triple drabble, 1 quadruple drabble

Months I posted the most fics: October (12), Dec (10), and August (10)

Months I posted the most words: August (14,248), Dec (11,882), and Feb (9,441)

Months I didn't post any writing: June & July

Top Fandoms

Star Wars (13 works, 17,035 words)

Danny Phantom x DC (11 works, 15,258 words)

Marvel/DC (10 works, 8,858 words)

Marvel (4 works, 7,134 words)

DC (8 works, 2,968 words)

Top Ships

Danny Fenton/Jason Todd (4 works, 3365 words)

Tim Drake/Danny Fenton (3 works, 7110 words)

Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton (3 works, 6158 words)

Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Jason Todd (3 works, 2156 words)

Clint Barton/Roy Harper (2 works, 3675 words)

Top 3 By Comments

So I Choke On Sun (DPxDC, gen, 2.5k words) - 51 comment threads

How to Put Your ADHD Gremlin to Sleep: A Guide by Jason Todd (DC, gen, 810 words) - 25 comment threads

Can I have your autograph? (DPxDC, Tim/Danny, 5k words) - 21 comment threads

Top 5 By Kudos

So I Choke On Sun (DPxDC, gen, 2.5k words) - 1,201 kudos

Something Magical (DPxDC, Danny/Jason, 925 words) - 858 kudos

Green String of Fate (DPxDC, Danny/Jason, 1.4k words) - 773 kudos

Can I have your autograph? (DPxDC, Danny/Tim, 5k words) - 726 kudos

How to Put Your ADHD Gremlin to Sleep: A Guide By Jason Todd (Batfam gen, 810 words) - 668 kudos

Fandom Events I Wrote For in 2024:

I wrote for many Who Wrote That? games for @haunting-heroes-creative-games! Those included:

WWT - Olympics: 4 fics, 8567 words

WWT - Demon Twins: 1 fic, 2576 words

WWT - Soulmates: 3 fics, 2445 words

WWT - Lightning Round: 3 drabbles (300 words)

WWT - Ancients: 1 fic, 250 words

Likewise, for @marvel-dc-crossover-event s, I did:

WWT - Poly Pool Noodles: 1 fic, 391 words

Title Roulette: 1 fic, 2001 words

Marvel/DC 48 Hr Exchange: 5 fics, 4939 words

Holiday Elfing: 1 fic, 2868 words

Other Events Included:

@pod-together, for which I wrote 1 fic of 2,494 words

@clonebang (2023), for which I co-wrote a 10k fic, 4122 words of which were mine

@marveltrumpshate, for which I wrote 1 fic of 3,090 words

@voiceteam Mystery Box (2023) & VT 2024, for which I wrote 1 fic each, of 825 words & 466 words respectively

Yuletide, for which I wrote 3 works totaling 4075 words!

& lastly, Cozytober 2024, for which I wrote 4 fics & exactly 800 words total!

Writing Reflections:

This year, majority of the writing I finished & posted fit one of two categories: "event" or "I had this fun little idea and wrote it out real quick". I think what I can draw from that is twofold. First, I really do thrive when writing is a community activity. I like to write when it's part of a greater effort at engaging with people and building friendships and spreading joy. Second, I got way happier about writing when it began shifting from something I felt like I had to do / should be doing, to something I could just do for fun with quick little things and then toss out into the world. Majority of my fics this year were only cursorily checked over for SPAG issues or not beta'd at all, and a significant number of the short ones were written directly into the ao3 text box and posted without further thought, including "A Guide to Putting Your ADHD Gremlin to Sleep," which ended up being one of my most popular works of the year & honestly all time. This is not to say I put no thought into anything I wrote, because my other most popular work ("So I Choke on Sun") is one I spent weeks working on, despite how short it is, because I knew what I wanted to try to convey in it, and I ended up intensely proud of how it turned out. But I think I wrote so much this year because I really fell back in love with writing for fun first and foremost, and writing as an act of community involvement as a close second, and I really hope to carry that into the new year!

-

Thank you again to 42dnp for tagging me, this was so good to reflect on and such a positive way to spend my morning! <3

[blondiest]

NEALLO / BLONDIEST

WRITING MASTERPOST

ships i have written for:

hellcheer (eddie/chrissy from stranger things season 4)

meronia (mello/near from death note)

this blog is almost entirely SFW, but my writing, which i frequently share on here, does not always fall into that category. minors please do not interact with my mature or explicit fics! you can also find me @neallo

find below a list of fics i have posted, separated by fandom and completion status! (note: hellcheer fics not yet added to this list. also it's really out of date)

death note fanfiction

complete:

hot soup on a cold day

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 5/5 | words: 15.6k | series [1/2]

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 800 | series [2/2]

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

Minutes to Midnight (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

[part 2 of Time Together]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 3/3 | words: 14.8k

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

[part 1 of together (always)]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to)

[part 2 of together (always)]

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.5k

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. -- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis. prequel to it's you and me, that's my whole world.

there's nothing i want but you

[part 1 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do

[part 2 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.8k

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage)

[part 3 of i want to hold you (hostage)]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 21.7k

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

my only one, my smoking gun

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you

[part 2 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse

[part 3 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights

[part 1 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 930

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away

[part 2 of you got your eyes from the stars]

rating: T | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2k

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

engaged

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.4k

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

it’s friday, i’m in love

rating: M | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.7k

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

early arrival

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1.5k

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

Distraction (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.9k

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

wedding doves & leather gloves

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 1k

“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”

unknown caller

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 3.3k

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

shot in the dark (collaboration with @empressofthewind)

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 8.2k

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

something stronger than the drinks in the bar (matt/halle)

rating: M | category: F/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.3k

A former CIA agent and an exonerated felon walk into a hotel. There’s no punchline. They just fuck.

crying only because i’m happy

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 1/1 | words: 575

In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.

there’s an ache in you put there by the ache in me

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 975

The snow angels are, in all honesty, an excuse, a shameless attempt to get Near alone, to talk with him away from all these fucking people. He didn’t expect so many of their classmates to come back to Wammy’s for the holidays, but maybe he should have— after all, he hates this place, and yet here he is, half-drunk and dragging his ex-rival-turned-ex-something-else out into the cold.

three part harmony

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 2/2 | words: 6.1k

The thing is, whether Mello wants to admit it or not, there’s clearly chemistry between him and Near. It’s not like what he and Matt have with one another; it’s more intense. A little volatile, maybe. It used to be almost painful for Matt to watch, because it made him feel excluded, but he thinks that was probably more a product of his own insecurities than anything else. Now, though... well. Now it kind of turns him on. The first time he realized that, it startled him, because he wasn't just turned on by Mello being in his element, staring intently at Near as the two of them talked over the details of a new case. No. Something about how Near was looking at Mello, the gleam in his eye, the serious set of his jaw— Alright. Matt has a type, okay? He doesn't know why freaky little geniuses do it for him, they just do. Mello probably broke his brain when they lost their virginity to each other in L.A. five years back. It's not Matt’s fault.

untouched

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 2.5k

The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.

good boy

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/1 | words: 5.3k

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

works in progress:

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 6/7 | words: 21.6k

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

bury us both

rating: E | category: F/F | chapters: 11/14 | words: 20k

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

rating: M | category: F/F | chapters: 3/? | words: 6.3k

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

all’s fair in love and war (and this is both)

rating: T | category: M/M | chapters: 3/4 | words: 15.1k

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

an unusual proposal

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/? | words: 2k

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

love chained

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 1/? | words: 4.7k

Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.

faded to oblivion

rating: E | category: F/M | chapters: 2/? | words: 3.6k

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.