#i have a very specific type of guy i love

[gatheringbones]

[“Feeling empowered is a group effort, because in order to be able to assert yourself, you must feel safe enough to do so. A date once told me that when he teaches yoga, he declares that backbend rules are orgy rules: a maybe is a no. I like that because in both an orgy and yoga, you’re in a heightened and strange state. You’re already pushing past a lot of standards for what your body and consciousness can ordinarily do.

Yoga teaches you to be aware of and listen to subtle body messages. Pushing too hard can result in injury, which will limit you from sustainably being able to enjoy the activity long term. So if your body tells you, “I’m not sure how this backbend is feeling right now,” just don’t do the backbend. And if someone at the orgy says, “I’m not sure if I want to play with you right now,” move on with grace. There are so many other poses you can try.

Buffet was a queer play party I went to a couple of times in 2018 at a legendary Brooklyn performance art space known at different times as the Spectrum and then the Dreamhouse. Their rules were printed out and posted in the foyer where you waited in line before taking off your street clothes. They explained they had dungeon monitors (DMs) wearing pink glowing bracelets. DMs are present less as rule enforcers and more as community accountability figures. The hosts were clear about what kind of play was prohibited (race, scat, guns), the kind of play that required a DM’s permission so they could keep a close eye on psychological intensity and mess (blood, piss, food, CNC, self-suspension, gags).

Buffet had a great breakdown of what consent meant in their space: “Do not stalk, lurk, stare, follow, badger, pressure, or touch anyone without permission.” They also had a very specific anti-oppression stance: “If you perpetuate oppression based on gender identity or expression, race or ethnicity, ability, HIV or STI status, body type, sexual or BDSM orientation, religion or spiritual path, you’ll be thrown out without a refund. (However, if you come to us crying about reverse racism or misandry, we *will* laugh in your face.)”

I loved Buffet’s gender policy. Many women- and trans-focused play parties simply exclude cis men in the interest of creating a “safe space.” While a private party can have whatever policies they want, I personally think excluding one type of person is a mistake. You cannot have any clue how many abusers are around you, how many dysfunctional relationships, how many people being petty or shallow or anything you would disagree with or disapprove of. And when we exclude men from spaces where revolutionary communication is being practiced, they’re not learning how to do it right.

Buffet had an ingenious approach to this issue. Their policy was all-gender, but cis men had to pay $100 entry as opposed to much smaller fees paid by others, and were given a mandatory dress code of underwear, fetish gear, or femme drag. The hosts also provided the chance to be vetted on a “Good Judy list” to waive the $100 fee. The result was discouragement of interloping creeps while embracing the kinds of men who would contribute to the party’s unique atmosphere and people who appreciate having those men around either to play with or as friendly allies. Anyone prepared to go through these humbling paces is more likely to be the kind of guy the other attendees would be happy to have there.”]

tina horn, from why are people into that? a cultural investigation of kink, 2024

[2009editingtips]

This is me begging you to wax poetic about Phil's hair

Phil's hair journey is something that can actually be so personal to me specifically.

So, we start with shaggy black emo hair Phil, where he's at university and basically out in the ways that matter to him (slutting it up on main, an icon). And he's got this plan for his life, right? He's going to school; he's got a semblance of an idea for the future. But he's a baby adult at best. And then he starts doing this YouTube thing. He puts all his weird/creative/extraness that had been looked down on for years out for the world to see. And people like it. They like him. They like him so much they give him a platform and job offers and new dreams to realize.

And that's actually terrifying because he has so much to lose now.

Going from the mostly carefree feeling of being himself, accepting himself, despite the culture, to feeling like the caveat to all his dreams coming true is that he has to take that joy, that self-love that took SO LONG to find, and keep it hidden. Not only that, he has to lie to everyone. All the time.

So then there's short black fringe Phil, who's in the closet, mentions his attraction to girls where he can, trying to cover his internet tracks. But people are persistent; boundaries aren't something he knows how to set yet. His past is thrown in his face every other moment, so he doubles down. Sticks with his branding of the non-cursing, family-friendly, boy-next-door type. It isn't untrue so much as it's put on. He loses some of his spark in those years. Not enough rest and looking over his shoulder at every moment will do that to someone.

Then II Phil with the black quiff...

I have the most thoughts about this era, so forgive me for yapping.

II, which was meant to be the end of "Dan and Phil," not that the audience knew. But Phil did. And he changed his hair. Let his past branding slip just a bit, preparing the audience in a way.

And he's talked in the past about how he was scared to change his hair because he genuinely thought people would leave. Because up until then, the audience he'd curated, however extensive in number, was still this intangible, fickle beast he'd not learned to tame.

But that deep-rooted fear persisted. The fear that the love of your audience is so fickle that they would leave because you changed your hair... but it wasn't about the hair, not really. It was the fear that they don’t actually like you or your content and they only like that you represented their childhood or their awkward teen years. So, if you grow up and change, then they have to. And they don’t want to hear that.

So, you put off being yourself (in more ways than one) for the comfort of others. Because if you truly aren’t liked, you can at least pretend for a bit longer. You can keep your hair the same.

And then he comes out, and it's all out in the open.

And then Phil is publicly alone for a bit. After a decade he's just... amazingphil again. "Babysitting the kids until Dan comes back," undermining his content like it wasn't instrumental in getting countless people through the pandemic.

Like his joy, however put upon it may have been, wasn't infectious.

Then we hit 2023 with the messy brown fringe, and it's almost right. It's nearly there. Phil has cultivated his audience, weeded out the bad seeds, and knows more now. But he's still... hesitant. Soft around the edges.

And then dapg is back, and it's... it's silly and light, and it feels like 2009 again but easier, more honest.

Stealing this quote from @silaswhatever here: "and now he's blond messy fringe Phil, and this feels like an almost final evolution of Phil - a reclamation of a mistake he made in his teens, a change to commemorate both 15 years of being a dork on the internet with his soulmate and to highlight the beginning of a "new era" for them. And now he gets to be the person beyond the mask of "AmazingPhil", he gets to be Phil Lester, a messy, slightly mean, but very funny guy who loves the person he's been with for fifteen years and we all love him for it."

Anyway, I am normal about him.

[dundeey-art]

How would you interpret prowl as a romantic partner? Especially IDW prowl

my friend, this is the question of the century. youre asking me to answer one of life's greatest mysteries. every day i knock on my friend's barred doors, and i demand they answer my very same question...: How would you interpret prowl as a romantic partner?

now, if i was a writer, and if this was a headcanon blog, i would give you a neat little list of headcanons that would make your heart flutter. unfortunately i am not a writer, so i can in no way paint a beautiful picture of a world in which prowl is your lover in a sweet 200 words or less. instead i wrote a stupid essay for you that doesnt even answer your question... hah. after another hour of typing i actually did more or less answer your question

so, you say "especially" IDW prowl, but IDW prowl is unique (and all i think about), so this is just going to be about IDW prowl.

let me just say that i started writing and i couldnt stop, so i accidentally ended up with a bunch of bullshit that has nothing to do with what you asked. i kind of like the bullshit though, so i'm not deleting it. just scroll down until you see "the headcanons" if you want to skip past my nonsense.

i used to have trouble envisioning prowl as a romantic partner because of the way he's portrayed. i bold that last part because it is specifically the way he's portrayed that makes it difficult to envision him in a romantic setting, and not necessarily the way he is as a character. what i mean by that is that prowl is always shown to be in extremely stressful situations and in environments where the stakes and tensions are high. nevermind personality, we don't even get to see how he is when he's relaxed, when he's not under threat. i suppose we get a glimpse of that during the flashback that shows him working with chromedome, but even then he is 1. performing dangerous work and 2. shown interacting with someone who is more so a colleague than a friend. even then, that is a prowl from the past. we don't know if that is how he would still act "today" (by which i mean the end of IDW). since then he's gone through millions of years of war, and that doesn't just come with trauma, but all kinds of growth and change. so we can't just fall back to pre-war prowl for our headcanons - we have to focus on present-day prowl, trauma and all.

i also want to say that i don't like the way i see how a lot of people headcanon prowl as a romantic partner. again, because of the way he's portrayed, people tend to default to a cold, mean and distant partner. someone who lacks empathy, communication skills, something about "emotional intelligence"? i've even seen people headcanon that he would be abusive... yikes. i think what people tend to forget is that prowl is not a villain. he does act distant to the people around him, but that is a pretty common personality trait that a lot of normal people in the real world have. so while he can be a little rough around the edges, i'd say hes just a normal guy who is, just like anyone, capable of developing romantic feelings for someone. still, prowl has some key traits that are undeniably him, and i try to base my idea on that while staying as loyal as possible to the canon.

the headcanons

i don't see prowl as someone who would fall in love easily. but when he does, it's intense. prowl is shown to have one goal throughout the comic: it's to attain peace. that goal is his world. i think that in a similar way we can imagine how he might be when in love - his partner, the object of his desire, would become his world. i think he would love his partner with the same kind of intensity that he is shown to have in various situations.

i think he would like to have you rely on him; he likes to be depended on, to be trusted. he wants you to leave everything to him, and he would take good care of you. that's not to say that he wouldn't trust you to take care of yourself. however, he might have a tendency to be a little controlling and overprotective - but really, it's because he cares a lot about you. he wants to prevent harm from befalling you at all costs. he might have to learn not to be so worried about you all the time. can you blame him though, after everything he's seen? if prowl lost you, he probably would not be able to move on.

i can imagine prowl's lover, and love in general, having a certain effect on prowl. you bring a kind of warmth out of him. you make him let his guard down. when he's with the one he loves, he can finally relax. he's not under threat and he's not constantly being scorned - you are essentially his safe space.

the thing is that love can bring a side out of people that you might not normally see or expect. you can imagine almost anything within reasonable limits. maybe, as a lover, prowl is soft spoken and sweet. maybe hes playful. or maybe he's not one for verbal but physical affection. honestly, it was hard for me to tell you exactly how i imagine him as a romantic partner because i like nuance, and i like to be open minded to those infinite possibilities. still, i did my best to paint a picture for you. 👍 this just took me two hours so i hope you like it

[birdgenetics]

I just remembered I was going to do an analysis at the end.

It was all a social experiment... I was watching, observing... *evil laugh*

Ok, but seriously, I had a few predictions going in. I figured people were going to choose as many mutations as possible, even though, as I've said, I tend to prefer wild type and a few very specific patterns. Aside from Blue and Dominant White, I don't even like any of the dilutions.

I was kind of worried I wouldn't know what to draw at the end (and my painting is probably totally off especially in the neck area) and I was also worried it would turn out mostly white. It did turn out so diluted it was almost white, but in a pleasing psuedo-dominant white way, in my opinion. We were *this* close to it having the lavender gene, which would have been just painful for me to paint.

I don't like lavender and to paint I need to enjoy it and have sufficient motivation, so thank you for not making me do that. I do think that in some forms lavender can be pretty, but I do have a special loathing for the lavender gene nonetheless. That and painting white on white. I left the background white to make it easier, but unfortunately the white doesn't really stand out very well and for that I am sorry.

For the skin color, it didn't surprise me one bit that you guys went the exotic route. I was entirely expecting that. I voted for the fibro with black earlobes for maximum contrast with the white plumage, even though red with white earlobes is one of my favorite combos.

However, I wasn't expecting pearl eyes, which in many cases are just plain white (and I prefer orangey bay.) But since the birds were fibro I made them yellow since the only example I've seen of a pearl eyed fibro had yellow eyes.

It's definitely a unique and terrifying combination and I really love it.

Overall, I am very happy with how it turned out.

E^Wh/E^Whmo+/mo+B/Bcha/chaml+/ml+Pg/PgMh/MhDb/db+co+/co+s+/s+Bl/bl+I^d/I^dC+/C+choc/chocLav+/Lav+cb+/cb+di+/di+Ig+/Ig+id+/id+W+/W+Fm/Fm

This is my imagined phenotype for this genotype: I could be totally off but I did my best!

The pearl eyes staring out of the fibro skin kind of scared me when I first drew it, not going to lie. It is an interesting juxtaposition of the very intense skin and eye color and the soft and subtle plumage...

What should we call the plumage color? I think khaki mauve necked red ginger barred is kind of a mouthful, don't you?

[ghostlover4life]

i find it crazy how i hanged my sexuality so much like omg?? straight to lesbian to bisexual to aroace to gay (mlm) to omnisexual to pansexual to bisexual AGAIN?? BRO I AM COLLECTING THEM LIKE POKEMON AND I DON'T EVEN WANNA DO IT..LIE OMG ITS JUST SO CNUFSIONG LIKE YEAH I LIKE MEN BUT NOT LIKE CIS MEN BUT ALSO CIS MEN AND TRANS MEN AND FEM MEN AND MAC GIRLS AND EVERY TYPE OF GIRL??

[front-facing-pokemon]

[sysig]

If the rules are “Catch them all” ZEX already has a leg up (Patreon)

[laceilette]

ok this comment has been living in my head rent free since it was first mentioned. i GET what you're saying but you have to keep in mind that not all disabilities are the same, nor are friendship types. this guy in this very specific screenshot is someone who i do NOT consider my friend and has been pestering me all school year, hence why i said "you're probably not actually friends" because it was in reference to this very specific scenario. while i would love for my friends to know and understand a disability out of a place of love, this does not apply to this person at all, or MY disability. it's simply too obscure and stigmatised.

idk who needs to hear this, but if you invade someone’s privacy by asking what their disability is, you’re probably not actually friends 🔥🔥🔥

[fluentisonus]

guys I'm going to be honest with you I don't think this is a fair comparison at all

[heartbeetz]

I love it so much when I see people selfshipping with goofy cartoon characters. Anton is not that by definition but he 100% is that in spirit so I am holding hands with all of you. Frolic with me yayyy lalalalala ♡

[ghoul--doodle]

can. I hear about bailey,,, I'm low key in love w em

YEAG I love Bailey!!!

So! Most of what I’m writing for him right now is real vague because I am ✨struggling with feeling cringe✨ about him JGSHD

But I’ll give you what I got

Originally!! He was an ace attorney fan character! He currently is and isn’t

I like having fan characters but I end up using them so much they spiral into their own thing so I’m just preemptively splitting him into his own character and Ace Attorney au

With that tho-! He’s a defence attorney :}

Bailey is a good guy! He’s very silly

He swaps out his fake eye a lot for different colours and types, he has a few gimmicky/novelty ones that usually make people do a double take when they see em

He likes to make jokes about “character customisation”

And he especially loves to fuck with people that don’t know about the eye or if they ask he’ll give a different batshit reason as to why he lost it in the first place, and then not elaborate

I don’t want to touch on how he actually lost his eye n got his scars for too long-! But I will mention that he was in an accident as a kid

He’s lived his life a lot longer with his scars than without them, and he doesn’t really remember not having them- so they don’t bother him really!

Outside of his work life Bailey is more of a quiet, stay at home kinda guy

He doesn’t go out of his way to avoid anyone or going out with them, and he will go places if he’s invited

But he’s fairly introverted! He definitely can only really recharge when he’s alone

[lemongogo]

[mantisgodsdomain]

We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.

[lyril]

it's almost a little funny in an in-universe sense how sulley is the rival of choice to randall mostly because i've always felt that randall's actually a lot stronger of a foil to mike with the context of monsters university, like, that's some Good shit... cus on top of that, sulley and randall truly have the most one-sided dynamic ever as well where randall's always trying to get at sulley to taunt him or whatever, and so in a lot of scenes he tries to pivot the conversation to sulley but then its Mike who won't Shut the Fuck Up so most of randall's interactions are actually with Him instead, like, it's Beautifully ironic LOL

[virusguy-32]

Hey wait. Do the phones/instructors/human side characters have a discord? Asking for a friend.

[definitelynotshouting]

okokok here’s a question I like asking because you writers can be such tricksy hobbitses: in the chapters we’ve seen so far, has there been anything you’ve hinted at that we haven’t picked up on yet? -🌱

I fucking love receiving this question anon and the answer is yes >:] altho tbf to yall, this is bc a lot of the payoff for these seeds arent going to be seen until WAY later into the fic. Every single interaction between Grian and the others is setting the scene for various arcs later down the line-- theyre all jam fucking packed with foreshadowing, and whenever i see you guys speculate i start grinning VERY very evilly to myself over it SKDNSJDNSJDJS