#i have a lot of other thoughts about other topics discussed

[isa-ghost]

I fully agree with this (/genuine). And I do wish people would stop using it because of the historical-and-still-current context behind the phrase.

But I am curious about what OP's opinion is about a take I see a lot in defense of using the phrase as a quirky (perhaps even cringe) positive phrase. I've seen loads of people say "well over time words/phrases/images can get a new context behind them that overwrites (but doesn't erase) the previous bad one. It takes power away from the people who use [thing] in a derogatory way." Basically the same kinda logic we use when reclaiming slurs, I guess? Maybe that's too extreme of a comparison though, I dunno. Another example I thought of is how Tupperware is (was?) a company, but we call *all* plastic containers similar to that Tupperware, which completely diminished the company's sway over product competition since it became a blanket term. I'm probably oversimplifying that a bit but it was another interesting educational post I read on here ages ago. I tried looking for it on my blog but the only thing that came up was the post about how they went bankrupt.

Anyway, to an extent I agree with the idea of "new positive context," but like with basically everything, I think there's nuance to it. I think there are times where changing the context behind something simply doesn't work and/or shouldn't be the route people go down, period. And of course there are instances where people abuse the idea and use it as justification for shit they shouldn't. Same kinda deal as "death to the author."

But also the internet (and perhaps younger queers in general in this case?) has a terrible habit of completely disregarding important context or at the very least not acknowledging/respecting said context to the degree they should, if they do so at all. And I'm as sick of that as plenty of other people are.

So I guess that is to say I can see both sides of the argument and am curious to hear if OP (or anyone else) has some additional info that I lack? If there's things about this I can be taught beyond "hey this is an ongoing issue, stop enabling the people who seek to use it to harm us by using it like it's something cute and quirky," I'd really like to learn what those points may be. Especially because then I could take those myself and further spread the word by educating people just like OP.

I think once upon a time I was actually a "we can reclaim this with a new positive context and take the power away from the people who use it to do harm" person myself but then I came across posts like this one and actually put some real thought into the topic and changed my mind? (I say that with uncertainty because I don't actually remember ever explicitly agreeing with takes in favor of the positive context use). Which is another reason I'd appreciate further discussion about why this is a case where "new positive context" shouldn't be the way people go about it. The stronger the argument for it, the better or whatever, right?

Also I'd like to provide a precautionary clarification that I'm asking OP/anyone else here if they have additional insight instead of "googling around" or something myself because I personally tend not to trust stuff like that since misinformation is so rampant, especially with how common the use of ai-generated bullshit is. It's also, in my opinion, better to hear things directly from people you Know for certain are from [group] or have experience with [thing]. I digress.

i fear the battle is lost at this point but i still flinch every time i see "gay panic" used as a cute positive phrase. Like let's go on say wikipedia.org for a second and try typing that one in folks

edit: i caved and looked in the notes and my god you people are stupid. Stop talking about this like it's ancient history. The gay/trans panic defense is quite literally still legal in the majority of the US. Look at this map since you apparently don't have wikipedia or like any kind of search engine on your computers

[lilacstro]

🌸Uranus through the houses: what generational curse you are here to break

hey y'all, back with another post. I hope you are doing well :) been very very long since I made a post haha. This post may be rather short? Idk how long it'd be tbh, let's get into it now!

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🌸Uranus in 1st: to break the stigma around being yourself, your "real" self, doing you, what you really want and going against the wind because that is your purpose and calling. Finding yourself, and not hiding it away. Doing everything you desire to, not confronting to societal or traditional norms, being the one of heart

🌸Uranus in 2nd: Speaking up, showing what respect is supposed to mean for one self, initiating the concept of self respect and personal boundaries, re-inventing the relationship with money, material things and desires.

🌸Uranus in 3rd: Big thoughts, innovative thinking. Thinking in a broad manner, against the current circumstances or conditioning. Big dreamers for a reason. Usually either extremely strong or extremely weak relationship with siblings for whatever the reason. New, big ideologies. Breaking the generational thinking patterns.

🌸Uranus in 4th: Someone who would follow their heart. Choosing their chosen family, prioritizing the family they created. Following the spirit of their soul and mind. Bringing reforms in the whole family, changing the family dynamics from their generation and lineage, reforming traditional dogmas and orthodoxes running in the family through generations.

🌸Uranus in 5th: Taking pleasures of life seriously. Being more attuned to your inner voice if it signals you to follow your dreams, hobbies and passions. Leaving this "work until you die" kind of mentality and actually indulging in things you like, following your heart, the rhythm of your soul. Full of creative energy.

🌸Uranus in 6th: Breaking monotony in life, breaking this idea and pattern of stability, security, and predictability in life. Leaving behind the idea of, "tunnel vision", basically. May despise following routines, structures, traditions in life. Usually have spontaneous bursts of energy instead of being consistent per se, usually the "turbulent" types.

🌸Uranus in 7th: for this placement, I feel their spouse or partner would heal patterns more than them. I mean both of you together would change things together, but they would more likely lead or initiate this revolution. Your family may have hard time settling with them, but eventually all would be good.

🌸Uranus in 8th: The way the shadow side of life is treated or talked about. Maybe you grew up in a family where darker things like, death, or other taboo topics were not discussed. This is true for a majority of people who do not have this placement as well, but you would be the one who may introduce them to such ideas and may be in charge of making them comfortable embracing their own shadows, and so you may often experience projection from your family often, because you're triggering their shadows.

🌸Uranus in 9th: Someone who would not accept things taught to them for no reason, without explanation. Other placement that speaks in terms of genetic unwinding. You would change the way upcoming generation thinks. You may question religion, traditions, beliefs a lot, not to ridicule them, but to find their relevance in the current world. Expanding the tunnel vision, the view of the world. You may adapt a different culture or a philosophy than the one you're born with and challenge the idea of unknown and foreign in your family.

🌸Uranus in 10th: This stigma attached to people and society and the world. "what would they say" "what would they think" and you may most probably set out to do things no one in your lineage could think of doing, especially in terms of jobs and career, creating something new altogether. You may be seen as eccentric by others for that, but more you grow in this energy, more you would heal this idea of following the crowd for people who are lost themselves.

🌸Uranus in 11th: This again for people who have the wildest dreams and do not care about being a part of the social community or to conform to it in any way. You are very very likely to have high spirits, and follow your higher purpose, your dreams. More of a rebel kind of placement, you do not care if your dreams or ambitions are different than the one imposed or planned for you. You would break this programming of needing to be a certain way, a certain success recipe, a certain dream, in your lineage.

🌸Uranus in 12th: More of a visionary kind of placement. Someone who does not conform to immediate ideas and tunnel visions. Someone who's thoughts and ideas would not make sense currently but would be the future. You are here to heal subconscious programming, limiting beliefs, thoughts, and opinions of your lineage. The deepest of all the above placement and very transformative. You yourself may have experienced unexpected changes and events in life, that shake you right from the bottom until a steady foundation is built, and you are meant to transmute this same lessons and light to your lineage.

until the next time

ps: i love you

xoxo

[soulfullives]

“Today, we will be discussing werewolves. Can anyone tell me what werewolves are?”

Lily Evans’ hand instantly shot up. “They are XXXXX-classified beasts in The Ministry of Magic. A werewolf, also known as a lycanthrope, is a creature which normally resembles a human being but, upon the rising of the full moon, became an uncontrollable wolf.”

He wasn’t going to be listening to that, knowing that Peter and James were in the hospital wing, waiting for Remus to wake up.

Sirius’ hand, instinctively, shot up. “First of all, they should only be classified under the full moon, because during every other day of the month, they’re human. Second of all, The Ministry doesn’t know jackshit—”

“Mr. Black!”

“And they do not resemble a human being, because they are one. Third of all, lycanthropy is an infection, not something you’re born with.”

“Never said it is,” Evans said, turning her head to face him with a smile, but he could almost feel her teeth gritting, “but if you were to look in The Prophet at the attacks, there’s a few of them of werewolves, right?”

“That’s a generalisation, Evans. There are werewolves who live in the wilderness and werewolves who live among humans. And the werewolves who live on the outskirts of society were driven away by wix, who pointed at them and called them beasts and monsters.”

“Why so invested in the topic, Black? Are you a werewolf?” Snape drawled, barely looking up from his paper.

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, barely sparing him a glance, “next time you piss me off, I’ll come to the dorms and maul you in your sleep.”

Snape settled on scoffing at him and turning back to talking to his “mate.” Sirius focused his attention back on Lily.

“And let’s not forget the werewolf registry, who is cruel and, frankly, idiotic by itself. Who expects werewolves to go sign themselves up to be locked up? That must be one of the least thoughtful things they’ve done, which says a lot, all things considered. Nobody’s gonna go sign themselves up for something like that.”

“It would be a protection method. They’re safe—”

“They’re not exactly fucking comfortable, though, are they?”

“Mr. Black!”

“Well, no,” Evans replied, sounding slightly irritated. “Obviously not. But it would be better for those around them, too. Would you like to be ripped to shreds?”

“Mrs. Evans!”

“No, I would not, and no, it would not be, because it’s uncomfortable and the transformation is horrible enough as is. Maybe, for one, we should think about,” He air-quoted, “the lower creatures, and try finding options that benefit them especially, more than us. They’ve got as many rights as we have.”

The bell rang; a class dismissed.

“Meet me after class, Mr. Black.”

“Gladly, Professor.”

“Black! One second!” Evans said, as Sirius started packing his bags. He grinned to himself; bingo.

[romantic-misty]

about this kind of posts... I finally have to say smth because I'm annoyed both ways:

(sorry OP, I don't wanna offend you - I wanna offend some sort of ppl)

you shouldn't tell people your (actually human's) basic needs, if you need to beg for bare minimum it's not your fault they don't show effort nor even ask anything because it doesn't cross their mind to do simplest things somehow, they're just egoistic non caring assholes and you repeating yourself won't help much

some ppl can't truly guess some stuff which means they also can not question you on the matter they have no idea about so sure! speak your mind - tell 'em what you like and hopefully they will understand and remember - nobody is a telepath and you should inform others about your thoughts from time to time instead of forcing them to always jump around you or else "they don't give a fuck about you" or smth as it's probably untrue

just because EVERYONE doesn't mean you also have to be like this - if someone is manipulating/forcing you to do things you don't wanna because it's "normal" - believe me, it's not and even if - you have a right to be "weird" so different

not everyone has to say YES forever to something, people have moods and change their mind, remember to explain or at least tell someone you aren't in the mood or changed your mind but also don't forget asking each other if someone is into smth at the current moment unless otherwise specified like "you always can hug me unless I tell you to stop" and such, mistakes and accidental crossing boundaries happen but most important thing are good intention and a lot of discussing, don't break someone's trust constantly proving it wasn't a one time thing

if you weren't assertive enough and someone took advantage of you - don't blame yourself for not saying NO (especially if they were constantly making you feel unsafe to actually stop them or brainwashed you into thinking you want this etc.) - they should check if you're fine with smth and not use the fact you froze and was unsure or didn't have time to set certain boundaries, topis should also continue after certain actions and you can go back to it anytime! no matter what others say - it's never too much for the right person <3

you doing something you hate or what even traumatises you to meet someone's needs because it's compromise... no, it's not - if you're not enough for someone doesn't mean smth is wrong with you - it's probably not a match and that is ok! you will be loved elsewhere by being yourself, if someone cares more about their needs than hurting you with them then they're not a good person (yes, it's mostly about sexual needs) - and no, cheating isn't a proof you didn't give them enough, they can always leave but they're cowards and want to have both :)

if you sh or have depression - don't assume no one gives a shit about you just because they don't question you when you say "I'm fine" - harsh truth - even tho I totally understand why you say that phrase still nobody has to do anything besides accepting it - they might feel like you don't wanna talk about it as it's either personal or you don't trust them enough and maybe just prefer to take your mind out of this as topic is triggering so they won't risk making you feel even worse, say the truth or tell them why you don't wanna talk about certain things because lying to people might make them truly believe you, they have their own issues too they can be occupied with, they can be simply tired and even feel hurt that you don't want to open up to them or show their respect in this way and let you have space - you don't know what's in their mind so if you assume smth about them then think how they feel when you decide to hide the truth from them - as I said, you still have reasons and maybe right to but it doesn't make them immediately evil for not doing more/what you want without you actually TELLING them, I know it's hard and scary and some don't even deserve to know but there are those who truly love you and will understand and will help/support you - you're not a burden! I am aware you don't wanna worry anyone but you can as it's part of being a friend/partner/family and if someone acts like an ass towards you by calling you an attention seeker - they are the problem, not you

silent treatment is manipulation and if you try to show you being offended by that instead of trying to talk things through first you are not good, sorry not sorry

balance is everything but ppl don't wanna meet half way EVER so...

your needs motherfucker do you speak them

[mandalhoerian]

Gosh I wish you made such big analize about Xavier and Sylus, sometimes I feel so dumb that I can't read so good behind the lines. 😭😭😭

HEY NO CMON NOW NO NEED TO DISCREDIT YOURSELF LIKE THAT!!!! First of all, this is an ongoing game and story, think of it like an incomplete ao3 fic you have theories for. There are HUUGE gaps in there that will be filled later and until then, they are left to the interpretation of the player. It's only natural, there's SO MUCH stuff and lore out there to be consumed, which are often non-linear that it makes things confusing on purpose. It's all about feeding us crumbs about what's coming, of course we get lost!!

Secondly, I made the rafayel analysis because it confused the lights out of me with the constant nagging feeling that I was missing something and that's why I didn't understand most things and wanted to get my thoughts straight. Like the ebb day theories floating out there as to why he was Like That, why he said the things he did out of nowhere and randomly like "what if i take from you will you leave me?" after the topic was JUST about sceneries and the love and art burns me talk after YET AGAIN another art talk about inspiration in pain. I had whiplash over whiplash and felt the need to dive deep into intertidal zone.

It's not like that with Sylus and Xavier (and Zayne's) cards. At least for me. All of them are fairly self-contained compared to his, I feel like. And I'm sure other people have discussed this already, much better than I can as well -- especially Sylus, but I'll put my two cents in for a general review of both their memorias!

Xavier is experiencing negative emotions such as jealousy FOR THE FIRST TIME with MC. He doesn't know how to process these feelings which are allowed to be nurtured in a safe environment when that wasn't the case before in his life. They manifest in temper bursts that stem from a life of being forced to be emotionally blank. He wasn't allowed to be a child or freedom for himself and his thoughts and feelings and wants, so he starts behaving in a childish way -- it's something he's surprised about as well. This happens when you feel safe with a person that those repressed parts begin to open up and you start being yourself more with them. It's sad when you think about it, as cute as it is coming from Xavier. MC is so understanding of him and finding him being "expressive" more as a really positive thing. She's an amazing partner -- because let's face it, if this behavior came from a man in real life, it would be so annoying. Xavier isn't like those other men though, his jealousy doesn't come from a need to control or possess, a place of distrust, projection or disregard of personal boundaries. It's cute because it's followed by healthy communication to allow Xavier to process and grow and open up more, it doesn't threaten the relationship. This is just my interpretation, aside from the context of their previous lives together (the desire to monopolize now that he finally is with her) and this being Xavier's possibly last year on earth that gives a "i've got so little time left and i don't want to waste it" stuff.

And Sylus is. Well. There's a lot in there. The theme here is "their first time", and it's not limited to sleeping together, in my opinon. Theirs is a burgeoning relationship compared to the other "established" relationships. They're new to each other. We even see domesticity from them in MC's house for the first time, though it is a result of Sylus's Onychinus life making an introduction in their relationship as something that has to be legitimately talked about eventually. MC wants to come along with him and know more but Sylus hides a lot from her to keep her safe and separate from him, and yes it's his business and MC doesn't push (the mutual respect is insane here), but it's affecting their time together. Not that MC sees this as a problem because she's always ready to throw down (AND does lock in and gets one step ahead of him).

I read this as MC's first time finally letting him in and her desires/feelings for him that she asked him to stay and kept making the moves when it had all been him before. Her feelings are growing. And you can see how much it pleases him and makes him happy, he was waiting for this -- for MC to voluntarily want him and be honest with him. That's all Sylus wants. He can see into what she wants, and sure yeah he knows, but her outwardly voicing them to him is a different story altogether. It shows she trusts him, and that's important to Sylus.

She was mostly closed off and withdrawn from him emotionally because they have this dynamic that started off hostile that turned into teasing and provoking where she sees being vulnerable with him as a weakness that would be embarrassing. It's a budding relationship, remember? No couple is all in & open with each other right from the beginning, it comes later. And Sylus is a dominant man (not domineering, that's a different word) and I think MC doesn't like being weak next to someone like him, and she perceives a power imbalance there unconsciously even though Sylus wants her to be open so bad and rely on him more and give her everything she wants and needs.

So it's HUUUUUGE that they showed Sylus intertwine their hands together when he had to FORCE IT before. MC is finally receiving him with open arms and you can see he's delighted. It's so romantic first of all, but mans is hungry, BUT HE'S ALSO SO TENDER AND LOVING !!! GOOD FOR YOU SYLUS GET IT. I love this for him and that he felt safe enough to sleep even though he's nocturnal. Or she sucked the soul right out of his dick and knocked him out cold 😭 the sex was so astronomically soul ascending i guess LMFAO

Again, I'm sorry if I got anything wrong. These are just my thoughts, and they are surface level!

[firstkanaphans]

hope it's okay to send you this bc i remember this topic coming up on your blog a few times before (cps not being allowed to have couple events in certain places) and i dont remember anyone ever addressing it directly so when i saw fort and peat (memindy/lita/love sea) bringing it up i thought i'd share x(.)com/thisis153cm/status/1873741911695180053

Thank you so much for sending this my way! You're right. That is the first time I've ever heard a CP address it so explicitly. For those who don't want to follow the link, it's a video of FortPeat at an airport and Fort is saying, "Couple events are not allowed in some places, so we have to go alone. We would prefer to go together, but there are rules."

I also looked into their fan meets a little further and turns out they both had a fan meet in China on the same day, but in different cities. Do you know how pissed I would be if my favorite couple was going to be in my country and I had to pick which one of them to see? At least First and Khaotung's events were on separate days. Of course, then you have to pay for two tickets so both options aren't ideal.

When we originally discussed the homophobic nature of Chinese fanmeets on my blog some people pointed out that it was especially bizarre that they enforced these rules for foreigners since apparently they allowed the leads of Meet You at the Blossom to have fanmeets together in-country. @doublel27 also informed me that DaouOffroad were allowed to work as staff for each other at their respective fanmeets in China, but Daou is Chinese, so my best guess is that whoever is responsible for making these rules feels like homosexuality is a disease that only afflicts foreigners and so the rules only apply to them because obviously Chinese people can't be gay. (Daou must have had a good laugh about that one.)

Dr. Thomas Baudinette, our resident BL expert, talks a lot about how BL as a genre needs to de-prioritize "problematic markets" and I have to assume this is what he means. Forcing your actors to strip the queerness from both themselves and their work negates all the good that BL is doing and companies need stop catering to such ridiculous demands.

[queerian]

watching @drdemonprince's conversation with Fern Brady and god this is why it's important to hear people like us talk about our experiences. i learn so much from other autistic people.

while talking about alexithymia fern described having ongoing and mysterious pain during a really stressful period of time that never went away no matter what she tried, and as soon as she received resolution on the thing she was stressed about, the pain also resolved. ive this exact experience a number of times and i have slowly been building a very contextually-specific hypothesis about it (my body builds up pain like a pressure valve and as long as i deny it it gets worse, and as soon as i give myself permission to take the rest i need - and take that rest - it tends to resolve. at least the acute moments. for the longest time, i would not let myself call in sick from work unless i was "sick enough", because i was terrified of being seen as unreliable, and because i was worried about losing the income for any missed days of work. i've always used up my PTO on sick days and doctor days because i needed so many of those.

ever since ive been working from home, and then promoted to a a role where i have a lot more ability to work around things like this without losing pay, i've suffered a lot fewer of those maxed out pressure valve moments.

my ibs in general and flareups have all also gotten a lot less acute.

fern's story just gave me a lightning bolt of realization, and put into perspective all this mysterious sporadic and chronic pain i experience that doctors can never really explain or understand no matter how much i describe it or how many tests i undergo. i just saw my doctor yesterday about it and she shrugged and suggested we continue to monitor it and as usual we ruled out all the things it probably isnt.

even ibs is one of those diagnoses of excluding what it isnt.

anyway. it's fucking incredible to hear someone talk about experiencing something and for the first time in three decades being able to point at that and go "yes!! me too!! that's the thing i experience too!!!"

[mysnowdragons]

I like this! I originally wasn't going to add anything but then I had a few thoughts on the overall topic, particularly the "mistakes."

Nobody is out here, among our teen leaders, getting ideal situations where anything they do is going to please everyone they have to please. Not Jon and not Daenerys. We saw it earlier with Robb.

I especially think that what Jon does in the Shield Hall is pretty misunderstood by a lot of people -- he does not have a lot of good choices and, while a lot of your typical r/asoiaf armchair generals loooooooove to criticize his actions there ("the dumbass is breaking his vows and leading an army against Winterfell!"), I rarely see a lot of discussion of what he should have done instead. Nor do I often see anyone seriously discussing or weighing the threats actually being made in the Pink Letter, which Jon thinks is real, and which involve a planned attack on an indefensible fortress (Castle Black, which can't be defended against attacks from the Kingsroad) by a Lord of Winterfell who is making a bunch of demands that Jon literally can't fulfill -- he doesn't have the bride Ramsay wants back! What Jon is doing probably isn't a great idea, but what Ramsay is ostensibly doing is also pretty uncool.

(Leaving questions of Pink Letter authorship aside, as Jon does not seem to question it or have any reason to question it, and a lot of debates about exactly how neutral the Night's Watch is and has been, and how much Stannis has occupied them kind of illegally, and on and on. It's pretty fertile debating ground; you could say the Watch's neutrality has been slowly eroded through the entire book and argue about whether or not it's appropriate for Ramsay to attack Castle Black. I don't want to have that argument, though, because I am old and tired.)

It's pretty typical in the fandom to discuss Jon at this point in the story as if he had some ideal choice open to him, when Martin even underlines in dialogue that he rarely does: "Sometimes there is no happy choice, only one less grievous than the others." But it's still left for us to weigh and debate whether we think he took the Least Grievous Choice.

Martin on Jon's "mistakes" as Lord Commander and on Jon's ruling:

When I asked Martin what was Jon’s biggest “mistake,” the author thoughtfully replied, “Were they mistakes? I guess they were mistakes in some ways since they led to him losing control of part of his group. But it might have been wise and necessary decisions in terms of protecting the realm and dealing with the threat of the White Walkers. I’m a huge student of history, and all through history there’s always this question of what’s the right decision. You look back with benefit of hindsight at a battle that was lost and say, ‘The losing general was such an idiot.’ Was Napoleon a genius for all the battles he won?Or an idiot for losing at Waterloo? Partly I’m reacting to a lot of the fantasy that has come before this. Ruling is difficult whether you’re a Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch or the King of England. These are hard decisions and each have consequences. We’re looking at Jon trying to take control of Night’s Watch and deal with The Wildlings and the threat beyond The Wall, and we’re looking at Cersei and Dany in their kingdoms and their choices.

It's nice to see that Martin considers Jon a capable ruler, not flawless (because such thing doesn't exist in Martin's universe), but a good one. And that he also goes as far to compare the importance of his job with those of the King of England ( fun fact: Westeros kingdom is based on England). I mean it's easy to dismiss the Night Watch as non important and this is certainly something that a lot of characters do in universe but considering that the main antagonists are the Others, the NW in reality is crucial to asoiaf story.

As for Jon, he's not simply another Lord Commander during peaceful time. He became a Lord Commander in the middle of civil war where various factions are fighting to win over the rulership of Westeros and the same can be said about the situation specifically in the North. Furthermore, he's not only responsible for his fellow Black brothers but also for the free folk he let seek refuge southern of the Wall. He's in a dire political situation, his rulership isn't an easy one.

Also, let's not forget that Jon, while isn't the only major character who goes through a political arc, is the only one who was elected to his position of power. He's earned it.

[alicenpai]

i kind of want to get back into drawing fma......... every october i see the fanart and it blasts me back to when i was 11 and discovering fma for the first time, it shattered my worldview..

[velvetjune]

Warlin Door having access to different worlds is already so good and compelling as a character, but it’s even more perfect that he’s presented as a TV host every time we see him, both with Night Springs and the talk show. He’s across different channels at all times, able to narrate and interact within the medium, but as far as we know, unable to change and mold the world around him like Alan and other artists in the dark place. It’s the perfect persona for him to have (and he better have a big role in that Night Springs DLC!)

[anthromimicry]

okay, but i think it is about time to talk about one of misao's fears is, because i believe that they can tell you a lot about a character and their psyche — and i came to tell y'all that the one i'm going to be talking about today is that misao fears becoming a mother / motherhood. the first reason in which why i believe this is because misao just genuinely thinks that she is not the nurturing type and that she would likely be a terrible parent to her child ( which i know is a very depressing thing to think about. but it is something that she has feared for a long time, unfortunately. ) this likely stems from a mix of misao's inability to deal with her own emotions, though, as she feels like it's better to just bottle them up and deal with them all on her own rather than the alternative. and this would be to try to confide in someone and/or get help from them should she need it. so, misao feels as if her child were to come to her needing emotional support from her, she would absolutely fail at it and the last thing she wants is to emotionally neglect someone the way she had been as a child ( p.s. of course, this was mostly just borne out of unfortunate circumstances, as i've stated before because of kaiyah's illness. though this hasn't stopped misao from feeling the brunt of the impact that it had on her. )

plus... i feel as if misao also doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself whenever it comes to the concept of always being able to put a child first, as she has a pretty negative self-image of herself deep down if i'm being honest. she sees herself as an extremely selfish person who can't even become friends with one person because she is so afraid that someone will hurt her, and in her opinion, that makes her pathetic or weak. so she doesn't feel like she'd be able to take care of a child with the amount of responsibility that is required to in order to raise them properly and protect them at the same time.

though this isn't necessarily true as misao has put up those barriers that would normally let people into her heart mostly due to trauma, and having experienced trauma doesn't make anyone weak. i just feel as if she desperately needs to remedy her self-image because it is very damaging to think of yourself like that and it would be really good for her emotional health if she were to try to ways to better cope with everything that she's experienced throughout her life. there are other reasons as well behind why misao fears motherhood while i'm talking about it, however, and these are arguably one of the more bigger ones: the act of giving birth itself and suddenly being thrust into having to not just take care of yourself, but the baby inside of you as well. which sort of makes sense whenever you connect the dots as to how many horror stories misao has heard about delivering a baby and also how much a person's experience while being pregnant can vary from others. i mean, it has been shown that some people may have more morning sickness than others and that they just don't have a very good experience with being pregnant in general, for example. but other's may be 'glowing' as they say and may find it easier to deal with.

so, you never really know what kind of pregnancy you're going to have until you actually become 'with child' as misao would call it. and the unknown aspect surrounding it scares misao more than anything. plus, as it stands now, she isn't sure whether she'd want to go through the process of giving birth as there can be a lot of complications regarding it. but there can also be so many good things about inviting a new member of the family into your home and misao feels as if it is kind of expected of her to have children so she can continue the kanade line.

but misao is just so afraid of it for these reasons that she can not see herself as a mother, even in her head. however... there is the matter of adoption that she has yet to take into account, but with how focused the jorōgumo are about having biological children, i feel as if misao hasn't even considered it to be an option for those who are afraid of giving birth and also to give a baby / child a loving home as everyone deserves one of those. but yeah. i hope that this gave y'all a little more insight into her character, as misao is scared of re-enacting her past in a way, though i feel as if you become a mother yourself... you have to separate what will be your own experience of parenthood from your parents. so, in order to overcome this fear she has, misao would have to treat it as an entirely different thing from kaiyah's experience as a mother and her own child self's experience of her as a mother.

and this is definitely possible. it would just take some work, as overcoming any kind of fear would. plus, i feel as if misao were to accept other people's help it would also benefit her, since discussing motherhood / plunging into the topic of the sometimes seemingly scary thing that is parenthood is definitely not something that you have to try to go through alone.

[theultracharmingladynoire]

This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

[candied-cae]

Izzy the character is beloved and by the writers and within the show. If they wanted him to suck and be unloved they would've directed Con differently or cast a different actor. Con didn't even audition for Izzy, Jenkins saw his audition for another character and asked him to read for Izzy instead. Your hate of Izzy is biasing you to authorial intent and ruining the show for you, not the other way around.

You are free to your opinion, so are the folks who worked on the show, as am I.

This is obviously in response to this post I just made earlier, but, as I literally said in that post: I know.

I am aware that the people who worked on this show liked the character and wanted to do a redemption for him. And just as you accuse me of being blinded by my Izzy-Hate, they (and you) can be blinded by Izzy-Love, there is no subjective metric to see which side is more "correct." I simply expressed an opinion that his redemption was rushed.

I never bash Con's portrayal of the character. I never say he did his job incorrectly. I never even say that Izzy shouldn't get a redemption arc. I also never go and tell people they are wrong when they post happy things about Izzy, even though I don't like him.

People are allowed to like his character, I even acknowledge that in the tags under "I know I'm not an Izzy-Enjoyer so it's not catered to me. I know some people are excited this is how it's working out. Good for them." I'm happy you seem to be enjoying how the show is handling his character, congratulations, I wish that was how I felt about it, it'd be nice.

As I also state that those are just my barebones opinions being posted and I am currently writing up more while I rewatch to explain myself further, in which I do look into Izzy as a character deeper than "he was an asshole in S1" for your information.

But my biggest point is that it felt rushed from where we left off in Season 1 and I wish we'd been given the screen time to explore more of that part in-between the seasons where the crew makes the decision to be more open to him. I just wanted more development and evidence of growth, a reason for Jim to have accepted him as an important member of the crew, a reason for Frenchie to have comforted him like he did.

We didn't get that. And maybe it's the fault of the cast and crew having too much fun with each other they've gotten a little divorced from the events of season 1, maybe it's the fault of the studio not giving them enough time to show it even if it was scripted and had to be cut to fit in the episode amount, maybe it's no one's fault.

But, I went through the trouble to even tag that post "Izzy Critical" so folks who do like him have the option to block the phrase if it improves their experience on the internet. Feel free to try that if it'll help you. But I am going to continue expressing my opinions and analysis on shows I like, because it's fun and I love this medium of storytelling.

Have a good day 😊

[the-light-of-stars]

that post about humanising villains gave me a weird vibe for some reason that idk so here's my own take on that matter, so :

reasons for humanising villains/ antagonists (abridged version)

narrative reasons:

1. It can make the characters more complex, which can make them more interesting to read about and can change their impact on the other characters and narrative

2. It can make them a better foil for the hero bc the similarities and differences between them can be shown better if it isn't just "good guy with blue magic vs bad guy with red magic"

3. It will open up more options for the character , if you feel like it

of course having a villain who isn't complex and just kind of there doing their thing can work well in a narrative, too, but imo those villains tend to work best as narrative tools serving the plot or the development of other characters rather than being full characters themselves, so for complex villains humanising them (which btw does NOT mean the same as excusing their actions or woobifying them) is imo usually the way to go

but aside from narrative reasons there are also other reasons that I'd say are way more important, since they can influence what message the reader will get from your text:

1. real people are complex, as is real morality. moral black and white thinking is easier than acknowledging complexities, sure, but it is a genuinely dangerous mindset to have and ignores the more complicated aspects of morality in favor of an us vs them mindset. not everything labelled as a crime is 'evil' , since the people defining what crime is, defining what good and evil is, and the system they work in are bigoted. (for example a homeless person sleeping on a park bench may be 'illegal' in some places but is in no way a morally bad/'evil' action)

2. having all your antagonists be solely two dimensional evil guys with no humanising characteristics whatsoever ignores how evil is often banal. Your neighbor who always greets you happily and feeds the local stray cats might abuse their partner and children when the doors are closed, your boss that keeps giving you raises might be a bigot that treats your colleagues that are part of minorities way worse than you, your friendly polite professor might be into right wing conspiracy theories. Sometimes people seem "good" or act kind towards some people and are horrible bigots or otherwise awful towards others, and this complexity is important to acknowledge.

3. related: not acknowledging that people who do genuinely evil things will also do neutral or even 'good/nice' things in other contexts and towards other people makes it easier to argue that you/your friends or family could never do evil things because you are nice! your friends and family are nice! and nice people don't ever do bad things, right?

4. the idea that some people are just "born evil" and could never change no matter what is! fascist! it is really fucking fascist (and eugenicist)! Because not only is no one ever born evil but also ceding this ground and going "well maybe some people are born evil actually" will so easily lead to incredibly harmful narratives. because it means you give the fascists their point that 'some people are naturally worse than others' , even if you might disagree on which kind of people are 'naturally evil' exactly, which is just such a slippery slope, especially if you decide to have the 'natural evil' of your villain show in physical traits. This whole idea of people being naturally evil and naturally "worse" than others is just reiterating fascist ideology of people that don't align perfectly with the fascist's idea of what is "good" being 'subhuman'. so to reiterate: No one is ever born evil.

5. the idea that someone that does bad things is doomed to always be evil and has no way of changing is not just bleak but also plays into the whole idea behind the police and prison systems (and other related ones), that "some people are just evil and can't change that so they should just be locked up or worse, and arbitrarily hurting and abusing them or putting them into inhumane conditions is fine because they are inhumane themselves"

There is more to this and it is a very complex topic but I am really tired and don't have the energy to elaborate more rn, so feel free to add on

[calling-the-angels]

Yes, AND...

Focus on the human part of that 'human connection.' ASK your friend if they are okay with hearing you vent/dump. If they say no, respect that and potentially go to a different friend.

Let your friend know if you're looking for solutions or just looking to be heard. It helps them know how you want the conversation to go and what type of support you're seeking. If you aren't sure, communicate that!

I really think a lot of friendships and relationships can be saved from miscommunication and simmering resentment if we all learn to put our expectations out there from the beginning. AND if we all thought about each other's headspaces before opening our mouths.

(Especially in the context of real trauma-dumping, where someone may be better supported by going to a therapist trained in ways to connect with and support them.)

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny always knew tax evasion ran in his veins. His parents hadn’t been the most… morally sound of people, and less so as ecto-scientists.

He just didn’t think their lessons would ever result in a criminal empire that spanned the entire city and then some. Danny hadn’t seen it coming. His parents definitely wouldn’t have.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wayne. Mr. Fox.”

Danny ‘the Phantom’ Fenton sat down across from a rather tense looking (to Danny’s enhanced senses, anyways) Brucie Wayne and his right hand, Lucius Fox. He smiled pleasantly, matching Brucie’s vacant smile with that touch of Midwest suburban mother smile.

With his acquisition of multiple Gotham companies, his rather newly established Fentom Co. became one of the largest holding companies in Gotham, the first being Wayne Enterprises and the second being Drake Industries. After months of constantly working his butt off while fending off assassins, reforming Gotham’s slums and cleaning up some of the streets, and taking care of his nest of street kids, Danny garnered enough power to even stand close to Wayne Enterprises in terms of financial powers.

The topic of this meeting was, of course, the proposed merger of Wayne Enterprises’ Medical R&D division with Fentom Co.’s pharmaceutical department. Usually, Wayne Enterprises wouldn’t even consider such an offer, as their Medical R&D division was the most well funded and least likely to be part of a Rogue’s scheme- and therefore most beloved- department of the same nature in Gotham. However, Danny had something the other offers didn’t.

Blackmail.

His overly polite smile widened as Bruce’s mask twitched. His eyes slid over to Lucius Fox.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard much about your genius in… research and development.”

By that, Danny meant that he knew Lucius Fox helped develop Batman’s tech.

He did a lot of stalking that week. It felt rather… invasive, even if he did get a bunch of juicy secrets.

You know what they say: dead men tell no tales… but halfas are generally blabbermouths.

“Is that so? It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Fenton.” The man quickly glanced between the youngsters, accurately predicting that this might have something to do with Bruce’s active nightlife.

“Yes, it is such a pleasure to meet you.”

Wow, Danny didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone sound both so perky and dead inside at the same time, except for Susan at Gotham High’s bake sale.

Bruce wishes he could be a Susan. He’s at best a Becky.

“Will you be staying, Mr. Fox? You’re the head of the R&D department, correct?”

“Ah, yes-”

“Oh, Lucius! I think you had an appointment with the finance department right now! I heard Sally talk about it, you know!”

Lucius Fox sent an unreadable look at Bruce before rallying.

“Oh, it must have slipped my mind. My apologies, Mr. Fenton, it seems as though I can not skip this appointment.”

“That’s alright. I suppose it gives you… plausible deniability… should things go wrong, haha!” Danny allowed his smile to widen a little further than natural. Bruce tensed but Lucius Fox simply politely smiled and left the room.

Ignorance is bliss and all that, Danny amusedly thought.

As the door shut with a click, Bruce dropped the vacant Brucie smile and sighed.

“What do you want,” he gritted out. Danny wasn’t about to let that slide, not after he spent the better part of this month wrangling Bruce’s problem children.

“Ah, it must be because I’m from the Midwest, Brucie, but where I come from, we value these things called manners.”

You uneducated jerk, he doesn’t say.

Danny leaned back in his chair, loosening his smile into something relaxed and sharp.

“…” Oh, boy, Danny could just hear the other man’s blood pressure rising. “What is the purpose of your visit, Mr. Fenton?”

“Relax, Brucie,” Danny sing-songed in a non-relaxing way. “I’m just here to discuss a possible merger that I’m sure you’ll agree to, and give you a couple of updates on your… wayward bird.”

He heard Bruce take a slow, controlled breath. “Very well. Where. Would. You. Like. To. Start.”

Danny ignored the gritted out sentence. He passed a contract to Bruce, who took it like he was handling a live bomb.

“Here’s the proposal, Mr. Wayne. Please, look it over.”

He watched as Bruce looked over the contract with an eagle eye before lowering it, scrutinizing Danny.

“This is… very fair.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. Of course it was fair. Danny wasn’t interested in exploiting the Waynes, despite them being very able to afford it.

He’d brought fifty manufacturing sites for pharmaceuticals, and offered up a building where both companies could send their workers. He provided top notch security- that definitely didn’t have any talons on staff, what were they talking about?- that came from his own security division. Granted, most of them were reformed and trained goons, but hey, creating jobs can only help Gotham’s economy and help break the cycle of poverty, right? Guaranteed by the Wayne name and, most importantly, uncompromised medicine that was accessible to everyone would be a damn good start. He’d also have Penguin’s empire to distribute it to those who couldn’t make it to a clinic or a store, and there were plans in there to work with and establish contracts with Gotham’s welfare department. Well… once Danny finished replacing them with people who wouldn’t try to take a cut of the funds and actually cared about the people. He was thinking… the multitudes of poor grad students and parents that need income. He’s in the process of building childcare centers and…

It’s a good thing he managed to save money from the taxes (thank you, Gotham’s morally ambiguous tax experts that were in desperate need for clients! He could do it himself but having a team of accountants at the ready was seriously so helpful.) because ancients knows the government weren’t about to step into Gotham and help the people here. He needs so much money to pull all of this shit off and a lot of it has to be clean.

Danny inwardly sighed and marked another thing onto his to do list.

Make money laundering fronts.



“Of course, Mr. Wayne. You didn’t think I’d come in here demanding money, did you?”

“I considered it.”

“I am, in fact, trying to help Gotham. You might not agree with my methods, but I’d rather not damage Wayne Enterprises when it’s doing so much to help the people.”

Ugh, he was doing too much work. Danny just wanted to- hah- chill at home and read bed time stories to his kids.

Bruce Wayne, the specific blend between Brucie and Batman, regarded him silently. Danny felt like he went up a few notches in the respect ladder.

Nice.

“You’re a criminal.”

“Says the man in the bat-suit breaking into places and assaulting people.”

Bruce’s hands spasmed around the contract. Danny smiled at him, taking a sip of the coffee they’d prepared. Oo, nice!

“Ah, I heard you’re adopting- pardon, fostering- Tim Drake. Getting empty nest syndrome, Brucie?” He slipped back into using Bruce’s first name. The proposal was formal. This… was very much not.

“What about it?”

“That’s very kind of you. Speaking of which, well, of your birds, I was wondering if you remembered what I asked you to do.” Danny continued, not giving Bruce a chance to reply. “Didn’t I ask for you to keep your birds in line, Brucie?”

The CEO straightened even further, form filling out to be Batman’s imposing figure. “I did.”

“No, you didn’t. Do you know where your charge is, right now? No, not the formerly dead one,” Danny tilted his head, smile shrinking.

“Don’t you dare do anything to Tim. I swear, if you even lay a hand on a strand of his hair, I’ll-”

“Sit your Armani clad ass down, Bruce.” Danny snapped. “Your son’s in your office. I don’t harm children, and your assumptions are deeply insulting. Threaten me again, Bruce, and I’ll make sure you know exactly how much I know about your birds, your cousin, and the commissioner’s daughter.”

Bruce snarled but leashed his anger just enough to sit back down. He itched to go check on Tim, but leaving a threat like Phantom unwatched felt inherently wrong.

“Your other son,” Danny continued. “Is doing quite well. He’s learning that he has hobbies again. He’s actually working under me, you know.”

“He’s what.”

Oh, yeah, that tracks. It figured that Jason wouldn’t tell Bruce about anything. He’s still conflicted about his death. Danny got it.

“Ah, that’s precious information. You’ll have to offer something of equal value if you want to know. There is, on the other hand, a piece of information I’ll give you for free.”

Danny paused for the dramatic effect. It was lost on Bruce, the ultimate drama queen of this world.

“The League of Assassins are hanging around Hotham lately. It’s getting tedious, getting rid of them. I suggest talking to your old flame, you know, with words and what little communication skill you’ve got rattling around in your noggin to get them to pull back. Her interest is… unnaturally focused on Jason.”

Danny read the dark agreement swimming about Bruce’s face and inclined his head. “Should negotiations fail, rest assured that Jason will be protected.”

“…Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Go ahead and discuss the contract with Mr. Fox, I am sure you’ll find little problems with it. Ah,” Danny stood up, fixing his suit jacket. “And you should probably check up on Timothy. He’s probably having a great time in your office, Mr. Wayne.”

“I’ll see you out.”

“Of course.”

Having Batman escorting him out should probably be more intimidating.

Danny stood in the elevator, waiting for Bruce’s contemplative silence to put itself into words.

Sure enough, “What… what kind of hobbies does Jason have now?”

“I’d tell you to ask him, but you two aren’t on speaking terms, are you? He likes books, of course, but recently, he’s found an interest in glass blowing. He made quite a bit of progress on his attempts at sun catchers.”

“I see.”

Well, Danny’s not about to step on that landmine any more than he has to.

——

“Danny.”

“Oh, hey, Jason. Sit down, we were about to have dinner.”

Jason clambered into the window. Danny sighed. He had a door, but by the way Jason never used it, it was like the door didn’t exist.

“Mind telling me why the old bastard showed up on my rooftops with a bunch of glass and glassblowing tools?”

Danny smiled. “No idea.”

“Uh huh.”

Danny placed a hand on his chest and put on his best woe-is-me expression. The teen’s face twitched in annoyance. “Doubt? At me? Why, I never!”

A bread roll thwacked him in the face.