#i have a lot of feelings and they're all about how wonderful this is

[ghouljams]

In your tags with the "not moose" breaking the Witch's wards you said you had to nerf her. Now all I can think about how insanely strong Witch is. Since it's a long generation of witches in her family- I guess she's well known in the magic community. Maybe they even invite her to be apart of some witches coven 👀. But she always refuses because she likes doing her own thing. But imagine she has to go to like certain meetings and what not and Price sees her in some formal witchy garb 👀👀👀

I haven't talked much about other witches in this au! I keep meaning to. Yes, Witch has been invited to multiple covens, but she prefers her privacy. Witch's family is well known as old magic, and older covens often invite her because they know she's got that strong ancestral tie to her magic. New covens of young witches often invite her because they think she's a novice witch. She does a lot of "makeshift" magic because she knows it so well, and where old witches would see her as somewhat of a prodigy, new age witches see her as inexperienced and unprepared.

As you might imagine that does not fly with Witch. So she only goes to coven meetings for 1 of 2 reasons: for a sounding board on a problem(old witches), or to be petty(new witches). Here's Witch interacting with a very condescending witch, and Price seeing her in her formal witchy clothes.

You snap a card down on the coffee shop table, the crisp sound of the cardstock against lacquered wood is music to your ears. You study the card, the mice, and jot down a few notes in your nearby journal. A cup of tea is set down in front of you, you're quick to swipe your cards out of the way.

"Are you reading tarot?" The girl, you think she's the owner, asks.

"Uh," You look at your Lenormand deck, "Yeah, I am." It's usually easier to lie to people when you don't want to explain what it is you're doing. You don't always want to have a conversation with a stranger about magic and how they have a friend that's really into "that sort of thing."

The girl sort of... scoffs, and rolls her eyes. Rude. "You know it's not all tarot right? That's an oracle deck," She tells you(it's not), sitting down across from you. You don't remember inviting her company, but it's fine. You close your notebook and gather your cards back into their deck. You're not really a fan of being tested like this.

"You read cards?" You try to smile, and look friendly. You wonder if you could make all her hair fall out. She gestures at the store generally. You look around at the, sigh, occult artwork and gothic vibes. Sort of overplayed if you're being honest. You can spy a few "Wicca-pedia" books on the overstuffed shelves. There's a table of crystals for sale, that explains why you're so itchy.

"I'm a witch," She says returning your smile.

"Neat," You already want to text your sister, or Rún, about this. "What do you practice?" New witches always want to talk about their practice, and it gives you time to shuffle your cards.

"Right hand path mostly, but recently?" She leans forward, whispers conspiratorially, "I've been dealing a lot with the fae." You pause your shuffle, your stomach clenching unpleasantly.

"Really?" You ask, "I thought you were supposed to stay away from them."

"Oh, yeah, you should definitely stay away from them," She nods, "They're dangerous for beginners, but once you know how to deal with them you can get them to do all sorts of stuff for you." You snap a card down on the table, a nervous habit from your mother.

The Mice again.

That's not your card.

You glance around the shop, the people milling about. You don't need to see them to know what they are, you can feel it. The mice in the storehouse, waiting for the lights to go out before they gorge themselves.

"So how long have you been practicing?" The dumbass asks.

"Not long," You mumble, still scanning the shop for anyone you might recognize. It's not technically a lie, in the grand scheme of things you really haven't been a witch long. You know witches far longer lived and far longer practiced. You shuffle your card back into the deck and set it on your notepad.

"I've been at it for about five years now," She powers through you ignoring her, "Do you have a coven or anyone you're learning from?" You glance at her, barely paying attention, as you pull a coin from your pocket and a pin from your skirt.

"No, I'm-"

"You should really be learning from someone," She cuts you off "magic can be dangerous for beginners." You ignore her harder, jabbing the pin into your thumb and smearing the blood on the silver coin. "Uh, sweetie?" You reach to tug a sugar packet free of its container on the table and break it open over the coin, what else, what else? Payment, threat, bait- you pull a lighter from your pocket and melt the plastic pin head to stick it to the coin. Assurance, good, done. "What are you doing?" The girl sounds annoyed, like you're making a mess for no reason.

"Making a fae ward," You tell her, she scoffs. Rude, again.

"You need a little more than some random trash to do a spell," She shakes her head, waves a hand. You take the opportunity to flick the coin off the table with practiced fingers as she tells you how badly you need a mentor and how you can't believe everything you see about magic on the internet. The coin goes flying, and pings neatly against the leg of a chair before starting to pinball around the cafe floor. "-you should really come to a coven meeting, see what real magic looks like."

You can feel your magic tracing its web through the store, you're not sure how much more real you can get with it. Not when you can see the fae customers trying not to jump away from your spell. Still, an insult is an insult. You fold your hands on the table and level your uninvited guest with what you hope is a neutral expression.

"When do you meet?"

-

You're remembering why you hate covens as you get ready. First of all you've been drawing wards on yourself all day, and snuck in a ritual bath, then you had to find your great-grandmother's old chatelaine since your ritual robes don't have any pockets. Most importantly you forgot how fucking cold it is when you're just in the gauzy ritual fabric your aunt made for you.

You check the clock, you're running a little behind so you don't have time to put on anything else. That's just great. Maybe you'll skip it. But then that stupid- Ugh. You take a breath to steady your emotions, no sense in getting worked up when you're so thoroughly doused in magic. You grab a length of Mal's lace from your closet and pin it in place to veil yourself. No way are you letting these little dumbasses stick anything on you.

Another quick check of the clock as you lace your heels, then you're out the back door. You stop yourself at the fence, stare out at the snowy winter landscape. You can already feel the frostbite setting in.

"lace looks good on you," Price whispers, his fingers feel so rough where they brush your back. You hum, and turn to face him. His eyes drop immediately to your chest. You wait for him to decide to meet your gaze again, and find yourself feeling a tad self conscious. You've never been self conscious about going to a ritual sky-clad before. Witches had a long history of dancing naked in the moonlight after all.

"Since when do you cross the fence unannounced?" You ask, trying to bring his attention back where it's meant to be.

"Since when do you leave the house with so much skin showing?" He fires back, stalking around you to check the back like a shark. You lift your veil for him, let him trace his fingers down your spine. They stop short of the draped fabric covering your ass, and you suppress the shiver it draws from you. You let your veil drop back over his hand, obscuring his view.

"I'm going to a ritual."

"Any reason they're getting the works?"

"I'm trying to prove a point." You sigh. "I may have gotten a little-"

"Petty?" Price fills in, you're glad you don't have to say it. His hand smooths over your shoulder, sliding under the lace to cup your neck. "Anything I should be worried about?" You tip your head, feeling the curl of his fingers against your throat, the lingering warmth of his cigar still on his fingertips. You wonder if it'll leave a mark.

"No." It feels too plain an answer, but you doubt there's anything he could do even if he was worried. You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, especially when other witches are involved.

Price hums, and you find the sound resonant as he tips your head back to rest against his shoulder. His body presses flush to your back, and you let it. You want nothing more than to sink into him, to let yourself relax into the dangerous hold he has over you, but you know your own ego. If there's one thing you can't stand it's a witch that thinks she's untouchable. You'd hate to see fresh talent eaten before it'd had a chance to blossom.

"You could escort me," You say, the idea striking you suddenly. What better way to show a new witch the dangers that hide behind fae kindness than to bring Price as your plus one? You're sure he's eaten more witches than he's comfortable divulging, but more importantly the wild listens to him. If he can take you through the forest you won't have to be cold so long.

"And what do I get, for this service?" He asks.

"What do you want?"

His hands go to cup your breasts almost as soon as the words leave your mouth, the thin fabric of your ritual robe doing little to hide his callused grip as he squeezes the soft flesh.

"Ten minutes," He breathes.

"You know you can have more than that," You smile.

"Not with you like this," His hands slip down, cup the softness of your stomach, hover over the pleat of fabric covering your legs.

"Alright," You agree, "ten minutes-" you can feel the ripple the goes through him, a deal of temptation being made, "-but only after, and you can't rip anything."

"Of course not," He agrees, "I want to see my witch dressed up again after all."

Inspiration images for the witch's ritual wear

[jeonscatalyst]

As someone who's been into kpop for over 10 years, I just wanted to comment on the saesang ask. Saesangs aren't in their right mind, most of them are deeply obsessed with the person they are stalking and also have an element of desiring control over the person/wanting to feel closer than other fans. Most of them don't aim to air out an idol's private life, unless they get pissed off i.e. find out the idol is dating and feel like a jilted lover for example, so they lash out and leak private info. Most of them either have a mother or lover complex (for male idol saesangs) and want to control them. Their goal isn't to leak info, but to feel close and special to the idol.

There are some saesangs who do it for money by selling info about idols. BTS is so famous now that this isn't really viable because other than really really gullible people, most people realize that anyone could make stuff up about bts and call it "insider info". They're so big, it also makes more sense to go to Dispatch or something like that with "real info" to get top media dollar than sell to random fans. Even former saesangs say you'd have to be an idiot to buy bts "info" nowadays because its all going to be bullshit.

I want to be clear that any "legit" saesang rumor comes from idols having their personal life invaded without consent. I'm not saying their is a rumor about jikook out there, but even if there was, no one who actually gives any amount of fuck about them (especially korean fans who have a history of gatekeeping stuff that could harm the boys) as human beings would spread it, because it'd basically be outing them because actual saesangs have a terrifying amount of knowledge and connection to these idol's inner lives. I wanna be very careful how I say this, but for example there were group chat messages from an infamous saesang that got leaked years ago that in my opinion, implied some things about a kpop idol that had no right being implied publicly without their consent. You might wonder, well what about antis who hear the rumor, won't they spread it? But once again, most saesangs aren't looking to spread info about the idol they're stalking, and even if they do, a lot of them seem to mostly engage with other saesangs of the group their idol is in because they are, in some messed up obsessive unhealthy way, still a "fan" of the idol. So unless the groupchat gets pissed and someone leaks it or the saesang feels jilted by the idol they stalk, most of that stuff stays there.

Now in regards to jikook, the obvious reality is that they're bandmates. There's nothing crazy about them hanging out or being seen together. They even tell us themselves how much time they spend together privately at times. They aren't going to makeout in public, so what would a saesang say anyway even if they wanted to reveal stuff about them (which as I stated before, most of them don't aim to do anyway)? They saw them together? So what? Also as you @jeonscatalyst said, these people aren't god, just stalkers. Even they have limits and all saesangs aren't equal in terms of access to their idol, opportunities, etc. that allow them to get "info".

Also, pretty much all the "rumors" we hear about jikook even in heterosexual relationships don't come from saesangs, its just made up shit from random korean forums (this is actually the case for a lot of kpop rumors, not just related to jikoook or bts). This isn't to say jikook is real or something, but that we actually don't hear from "actual" saesangs as much as people like to pretend. I think i-fans of kpop think that term comes with authority because it implies a closeness to the idol from being a stalker (which is fucked up because why are we putting stalkers on a pedestal but I digress), so they kind of slap it on any rumor, but that's really not the case, especially for a group as famous as bts. You think if someone wants to make money off a rumor about them or aims to leak private info to take them down, they're going to sell it or share it into the fandom? No, they'd take it straight to the media or competing k-pop companies who would pay top dollar and be frothing at the mouth to take down the biggest kpop group in history. Basically, even if a saesang does want to spread something, its not coming to us in the form of fandom rumor. And since this is a jikook blog, let's pretend a saesang thinks jikook are a thing and for one reason or another, decides to share that info. How does spreading that info even work? What media company is going to not only out someone, but also risk looking like an actual buffoon for thinking two group members are together? The group aspect of bts gives plausible deniability for everything up until actual romantic/sexual physical contact pretty much, something which a saesang is never going to get evidence of unless they figure out how to become the actual wallpaper inside jikook's apartments. Even if they spread it though the fandom, fans will just look at them like a shipper. Like "aww you have a pic of them out at a restaurant? how cute! #jikookarethebestbros". I think it can't be overstated how much them being in the same group and shipping culture (+ homophobia) aid in downplaying any possibility of an actual romantic relationship being there.

Also just a sidenote, but saesangs are just extremely disturbed fans, they can be y/n's (most of them are), they can be homophobic, etc. Jungkook has some of most y/n fans of any top male kpop idol. Do I think its beyond a saesang to see their fave idol in a same-sex relationship and think "I can fix him (make him straight)?" Not at all. Do I think it would be above them to start seeing the other member/partner as "the other woman" and start hating them or blaming them for tainting their beloved idol? Not at all. In this scenario, I doubt they'd want to spread this info they think is "shameful" about their fave idol, they would just think he needs "fixed" or pulled away from the person "contaminating" him.

Anyway, I have spent waaaay to long in the kpop fandom, even pre-bts (when saesangs almost seemed worse back then) and this is the general consensus I have garnered about why saesangs are the way they are.

Thanks anon, for your very insightful input💜

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on TBOC 206

I have a few thoughts on 206 specifically, but now that all of the episodes are out, I want to look at what the season as a whole accomplished for Carol's and Daryl's arc(s), or rather, how much damage it did, and emphasize for the millionth time that new leadership is the only way forward.

Carol and Daryl both planning to stay behind was really sweet. I especially loved the emotion in Melissa's voice when she delivered Carol's line about not being able to live with herself if anything happened to Daryl and the look she gives him when she's about to get on the plane. Melissa has a remarkable talent for conveying a story that the writing and editing don't want to tell and I cannot thank her enough for staying true to the character in spite of that. It shouldn't have to be that way, but it is because the men in charge are all vindictive monsters.

The interruption trope was grossly overused the whole season, but in the case of the plane, after Carol jumps out, there's plenty of room for her and Daryl to have a moment with each other where the impact of what she just did lands on both of them, but it gets passed over. There are smiles sure, but they don't even hug? It feels extremely inorganic.

For the very first time all fucking season, we get to see Daryl comfort Carol. He tells her that what happened to Sophia and the other kids wasn't her fault and that living at the Commonwealth will be different this time because they'll “stay together.” Again, it’s a sweet scene when you take it at face value, but thinking about it in context, I have several bullshit cards to play. It shouldn't have taken Daryl this long to figure out that Carol was struggling with her grief again. Even if he wasn't an expert on reading Carol, she explicitly told him multiple times throughout the back half of the season that she’s hurting, but for some reason it’s only when the child he's known for two months is safe that he can finally make some space for her? Bullshit. That’s not Daryl. Acting far removed from that grief when Sophia was a huge part of his story too? Bullshit, that's also not Daryl. The scene is supposed to be Caryl fans' payoff? Bullshit, because it's a repeat of a couple of scenes they shared in S10, only worse, because this time it's really hard to take Daryl seriously when just a few episodes previously, he was talking to Isabelle about the life they'd have in the CW. Do I think he meant what he said to Isabelle? No. Does that matter? No, because it's never clarified. Thus...bullshit.

Why is a supporting character given really drawn out romantic beats with another supporting character I don’t recognize (did she fall out of the sky? Who is she??) when the only romance that's actually been earned gets no focus whatsoever? Is the hand-holding scene supposed to parallel them? Why are we only allowed to have parallels? What is that?

I've talked a lot about the tunnel scene already because of the script leak and for me, seeing it on screen was worse than reading it on the page which was already an awful experience. Again, why do Daryl and ghost Isabelle get more emotional weight than Daryl and Carol, who actually have a deep bond with each other and have spent over a decade with each other? Why is he giving up on life when he knows he has Carol back? Why is there literally no reaction when he meets up with Carol again after a near-death experience? Zabel treats them like they're strangers, and I will never get over how insane it is that someone so ignorant and careless gets to be in charge of their stories. Also, why are they talking before putting on their masks??

Melissa is wonderful in her performance when Carol sees Sophia, but the scene feels like a copout instead of giving her a proper resolution to her arc. It feels like there's still so much work to be done there. Also, why couldn't they find an actress who resembled Sophia more closely? The contrast is really distracting.

Thinking more broadly about the season now, it feels like the healing journey Melissa intended for Carol got upended by Daryl's betrayal (and yeah I'm going to call it that). I think it raises more insecurities about her self-worth, and I hate the male EPs for that.

They turned Daryl into an original character who embodies an "ideal" masculinity, but it comes off as inauthentic to the character many fans related to in the flagship show. I miss the unconventional hero who takes a long time to build emotional connections and stays loyal to them once he does. His sudden desire to build an entirely new family with people he's just met wreaks havoc on many of his bonds back home, but particularly Daryl's and Carol's. One of the many issues with Zabel is that he's used to writing broadcast TV shows (think crime, medical, or law procedurals) where the main characters can be reset a million and one times and their trajectory doesn't change. Daryl's and Carol's story isn't wired that way. On the contrary, they are two of the most transformed characters on television, with a long history that needs to be respected. Zabel does not respect that. Neither does Nicotero, Gimple, and even Norman.

I don't expect things to change for S3. I actually think they'll get worse and as much as I love Melissa and Caryl, the four horsemen are simply untrustworthy. I won't subject myself to more of their shit. Why should I? As Nicotero so kindly pointed out, they don't make the show for me (or any fans?) anyway. I'd love to watch a real Caryl show, one that has a showrunner who values Melissa's input, understands the characters, and respects the fans and I sincerely hope AMC will do the right thing.

Bonus Thought: “You Can't Always Get What You Want" feels like a slap in the face and I will never be able to listen to it again. Thanks, Zabel 🖕

[impactrueno]

Hi! I know you've stated that you're not into shipping drama, and I 100% respect that, so I just wanted to ask if you're comfortable with beetlebabes shippers reblogging your art? I know it isn't ship art so I'll respect it if you're not cool with us sharing your work to our blogs, and of course I'm not gonna tag it as ship, but I love it regardless of it's lack of ship-ness and don't wanna make you uncomfortable

🚨THIS IS NOT DRAMA, NOBODY CRY ABOUT THIS🚨

i appreciate that you asked! that's thoughtful of you, but don't worry, i make content for everyone. this whole time i've had both shippers and non-shippers in my comments on twitter without issue. 🤝 (people have been great about staying out of each other's way, i'm so proud of my followers 🫶)

i used to stress out about this stuff. earlier this year i nearly gave myself an ulcer from stress (lots of things happening in my life) and dipping my toes in the beetlejuice fandom scared the hell out of me because i knew people can get intense about these things.

eventually i came to terms with the fact that some stuff is just completely out of my control, and i can't keep stressing out about it.

i can't stop people from seeing my art a certain way. if you want it to tag it beetlebabes on your blog for your own organization purposes, i won't stop you.

similarly there's people who tag or comment on my stuff referring to them with familial terms ("oh he's the cool uncle/they're so siblings" etc) which i don't do either, but once again, if that's how you see them i won't stop you.

i just don't want people to expect anything from me but platonic best friends bj and lyds. not romantic or familial. platonic relationships in general are super underrated in fandom....there's lots of love in there that i think both sides can easily enjoy. this dynamic is what i personally enjoy the most and it's been a source of great comfort for me. feels like a warm hug. or something. idk i don't like hugs but you get the analogy

but enough sap, my point is you can do whatever you want as long as you're not a dick about it. all i ask of people is respect for my and other people's boundaries about this stuff. don't try to push me to sway one way or the other because i won't budge lol i'm pretty comfortable where i stand on this topic

oh and you can still expect me to work with movie bj having feelings for lydia since that's canon and frankly i find him super amusing in a fucked up way lol

anyway. that was the last one and only because you asked nicely, i couldn't leave you hanging and i think others might have been wondering the same thing

[callsign-bunnie]

I don't have an opinion on ALL of the ships. There's just not enough for many of the characters for me to really have a sin in mind for many of his ships, and I'm not touching non-story operators with a ten foot pole. Furthermore, I'm applying these in a directly romantic sense.

Sadly, I think I've become a lot less fun in the last year that I haven't been making headcanons

PriceGhost is wrath - I am so deeply confused as to why Wrath has been watered down to like... extreme anger or anything. Soap NEVER shows a tendency towards wrath, even if he can be very angry. He makes snide remarks, maybe small threats, but to say he's ever committing an action out of his own anger is just... wrong.

If you go by old Price, it's pretty well implied in Ghost's backstory that Price picked him up because of what he did in Coahuila. Speaking of, that entire thing was wrath.

And for new Price, he kills Shepherd in cold blood, even though it's established that it was unnecessary. Just Price delivering on the "John Price guarantee" that if you cross him, you'll regret it.

To say that they'd be anything other than wrathful with each other and others while in a relationship would be honestly insane. I just can't see either as being willing to let small issues go. Maybe they won't confront each other so much, but they will fester, and they will lash out.

One person makes a snide comment at Ghost's expense. Ghost forgot about it, it wasn't even that clever, but Price remembers and now Ghost is going to be forced to remember that someone insulted him once. Price got the asshole discharged and Ghost doesn't care about that, but could he shut the fuck up about it? Ghost doesn't need Price mentioning that "asshole who thought he had something clever to say" every other fucking barracks dinner. It's embarrassing, he doesn't want people to know, but that person dared to cross Price- (he didn't even cross Price, HE CROSSED GHOST) and lived to regret it.

But Ghost is just as angry and he's even more willing to act on it. Price drills into him that Ghost doesn't have to completely eradicate every threat, but he doesn't care and he feels like he shouldn't have to. They piss Ghost off, shouldn't that be enough reason to kill anyone who wants to take a shot at the John Price? Why does he have to keep pointing out that they're threats. Sure, maybe that one didn't actually explicitly say he was going to kill Price, maybe he just joked about it...

They should know better.

Aleghost is pride - I had to debate someone that Ghost shows a lot of pride so I'm starting to wonder if you guys know what Pride means, either. Pride as a sin is about self-devotion, self-justification, or self-glorying in a way that is against God. I'll uh... take it more in the sense of morality.

Ghost's whole character is that he believes he's above the rules. Fuck, he makes them. That's self-justification. His constant on and on about how dark he is and how he's a lone wolf and he's so dangerous and evil and on and on, that's self-glorying. And the way y'all have him petulantly dedicated to his own woes? That's self-devotion.

I don't think I really have to explain Alejandro's pride but I will. Beyond the whole "nothing can kill Alejandro but Alejandro" thing, where is the Mexican government? No, seriously. Where the hell is it? At no point does any Vaquero voice concerns about the Mexican military or Mexican government cracking down on them. Now I know that it's common American propaganda to portray Mexico as this completely lawless, orderless place but it's pretty unrealistic to assume an active government would completely ignore the entire thing with Graves.

But nope, they're never mentioned. They're never even a threat. Alejandro and Rodolfo have no issue just killing narcos and AQ soldiers in their mission together. Granted, I did notice that the majority of times when Rodolfo seemed to be free to open fire tended to be when Alejandro wasn't there which is... interesting, but Alejandro still has his fair share of picking off enemies.

And at no point does Alejandro feel the need to justify a single action of his. Blowing up his own base just to get it back? Nope. He never justifies why he's never put in the effort to take down Valeria before, even though it was clearly fairly easy since she had to FLEE TO AL MAZRAH AFTER ESCAPING PRISON, and then he has NO justification for saying "fuck it" and up and leaving the city he's still actively rebuilding to chase her ass around.

Rodolfo doesn't question him and granted, we don't have much story surrounding this actual moment, it still is really fucking strange.

Soapghost is Sloth - No justification besides just that Ghost would never actually have to put the effort in to be better because Soap seems to just sort understand Ghost as Ghost. I could get into this from even a fandom perspective if I really wanted to, but from the perspective of canon, Soap never really gives Ghost any pushback on his more negative behaviors.

Ghost wouldn't have to go to therapy, he'd simply say he was uncomfortable with the idea and Soap would understand because look what happened to his first therapist.

Ghost would state that he barely communicates because it's scary and Soap would trip over himself to somehow make it less scary that would ultimately end up with less communication, somehow.

GhostGaz is Lust but I think I've rambled enough

Ghost ships but they’re themed as the seven deadly sins (PriceGhost is pride)

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello. I know I've sent in messages before but very very rarely. But recent events have caused us to have a question. Just this week, we got officially diagnosed with D.I.D and recommended the idea of getting a psychologist for the first time in my life, besides a psychiatrist. Two of my alts say they can't be serious but the other three think they are bout the psychologist and we are nervous. I saw you talking about disorganized attachment in your latest posts and was wondering if you could tell me more bout what that is because it sounds like I may have experienced that and I'm trying to understand myself and us more from others with experience with D.I.D and similar disorders. We hope that makes sense! We are still very new to all of this. Thank you so much for your time. - Us

First, congrats!!! Try to come back and tell us what therapy and the interviews are like! I'm certain my followers would love to hear about it. It's scary, I'm so proud of you ❤️

Disorganized attachment is both very complicated, and quite easy to understand. I just reblogged a couple old posts about it, but this will be shorter :)

This is my favorite image to describe it!

Note that disorganized attachment (DA, from here on) is linked to low trust in self AND others. All of these types of attachment have shown strong links to different types of disorders, but DA is most associated with dissociative disorders.

The most important thing I've learned is

Even well-meaning, well-intentioned, loving parents can cause DA

DA can be hidden trauma, its relation to neglect is much stronger than originally thought, and neglect is a lot harder to spot and understand than straight up abuse.

A quick note here: DO NOT play trauma Olympics-- with yourselves, with others, on this post, nothing. Trauma is a personal reaction to events, abuse, or neglect and can occur in response to literally anything. When it comes to CDDs, we're looking at cumulative responses resulting in psychopathology, and you don't get to decide what was enough for other people.

It's their reactions.

Mind your own business.

So, all that said, DA is about the child being both fearful and reliant on caregivers. They want to both flee to and flee from caregivers. When a caregiver is unpredictable, the child has a difficult time establishing a consistent view of the caregiver, and of themselves. In other words, the caregiver is both needed, and someone to be avoided, and the child may not understand what makes them a “good” or “bad” child, as the caregiver’s behavior is often confusing and unpredictable.

I'm going to throw out a couple examples here:

Parent A has yelled at you, and you're scared to go to parent B and talk about it - neither parent feels safe but they're your only source of comfort

You're hungry, but parents scold you for eating too much - you're both scared to ask for your needs and yet reliant on their abilities to meet them

Sometimes parent is attentive and kind, and sometimes very dismissive - you never know what you're going to get, but when they're dismissive, it kills your drive for things you thought you enjoyed - sometimes parent puts your art on the fridge and sometimes they throw it in the trash, and maybe that particular piece was important and you'd expected better reception

Parent gets physical when they drink but at school, parent is a model citizen and teachers and other students always tell you how lucky you are

Parents are openly homophobic and you think you might be a little gay - they're good people otherwise (you think), and maybe if you just keep that part of you down...

Parent struggles with their own mental illness and you never know what kind of reaction they'll have, but you treasure the good memories and hold out hope you'll see that side of them again, despite the many letdowns

Parent doesn't let you keep anything to yourself, it's to the point you want to avoid them as much possible, only seeing them for meals

Parent is... mean. Just flat out mean, and they'll tell you no one will listen to you. There's no point is trying to find help with other caregivers-- teachers, babysitters, friends. It's just you and them, against the world.

The start of DA is typically formed in infancy when a parent doesn't respond properly to their child. Missed feedings, not enough skin time, mixing "cry it out" with giving in, ignoring cries for food or changing. These first attachments in infancy set the tone for all your attachments going forward. Meeting needs and milestones help the brain develop in a healthy way. If some of these milestones are missed or slowed, you tend to see psychopathology of some kind as a result. Various future relationships are likely to be affected, and more often than not, you respond to your own children the same way-- a type of intergenerational trauma.

And this is only the grey areas. We haven't touched full and proper abuse and how that can affect someone.

The result of DA is that a child will try to push memories and feelings about their caregivers down so that they're not bothered-- they can interact with their caregiver, whatever mood they're in or whatever happened yesterday.

If you just kill your feelings, parent's outbursts don't hurt as much. If you just don't think about what they did to you, you can put on a smile and get through dinner.

This is, in and of itself, dissociation. A rejection of feelings or memories. DA on its own isn't very likely to cause a CDD, but with additional trauma, it's... oof.

Children with DA and suffering from abuse “are likely to generate two or more dissociated self states, with contradictory working models of attachment,” in order to handle their confusing relationship with the caregiver. This can go in several directions, not necessarily a CDD, but it becomes much more likely.

So, the child needs to maintain a relationship with the caregiver– they have no one else to turn to, so the child can develop dissociation as a way to make sense of themselves, and to maintain a child-caregiver relationship. They may “forget” the abuse, or deny it. “It is an adaptive and defensive strategy that enables the child to function within the relationship, but it often leads to the development of a fragmented sense of self.” This fragmented sense of self may or may not develop into something worse– namely, BPD and DID based on severity, frequency, and whether there was any sense of reprieve (i.e. a child can avoid the worst of dissociative symptoms if one of their parents was more supportive, because it helps them build some positive attachments).

I really hope this helps!

Good luck, come back soon!

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I need your Kaidan opinions for the fave character game. Pwease. 😻

From the character ask game.

Oh God, I will have to change my pants by the time I'm done.

Favorite thing about them

Everything??? He's such a complex dude, and all of his complexity is shown so subtly in a way that also reflects him as a character. I love it.

But most of all, his emotional maturity, his intelligence, his self-esteem, and honestly, how incredibly badass he is.

He doesn't use Shepard as a therapist, as a fixer for his problems, as a pillar of strength to lean on. Instead, he always comes into this relationship (platonic or romantic) as an equal, and it's so refreshing to see.

Every other squadmate needs something from Shepard, and with Kaidan it's the other way around. It's Shepard who needs Kaidan, a person who will remind them that what military propaganda usually pushes as "the hardest choices a soldier can make" are actually the laziest choices.

Kaidan knows that killing is easy. Destroying is easy. But showing restraint, showing compassion, trusting someone, doing the right thing, that's hard.

Also, Kaidan is literally the only squadmate who consistently tells Shepard that they can step aside, that they don't have to do everything alone, that they have their team for a reason, and oh god, thank you Kaidan, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Least favorite thing about them

My god, he's stubborn.

And yes, Shepard needs someone like that in their close circle, but oh Kaidan, my man, my dude, my wonderful human being, you have to learn to relax, to let things go sometimes.

I think the main thing about him is that he's actually so passionate, he feels deeply, and friendship and love are so important to him, but he has trust issues, and he has standards, and he's very intelligent, and all of that runs over this deep well of emotions that he carries around.

He wants to love with abandon, but he can't. He wants to do the right thing all the time, but it's impossible. He has to learn how to compromise, how to live in the gray area.

Honestly, there are so many parallels between his and you-know-who's ark, no wonder all his fans feel so strongly about Kaidan.

Favorite line

So, so many.

"I think we're gonna need a bigger boot, Commander."

"I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better."

"Mike Hazer? Hazer the Laser? Almost didn't recognize you. ... You owe me money."

"Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had."

"You'll never find out."

I love his sarcastic ass. And I love all the glimpses into that deep well that is his heart. He's so good.

brOTP

Joker! Oh my God, that first dialog between them is fucking amazing. I feel like Joker is one of Kaidan's main sources of gossip (something Kaidan is interested in both professionally and recreationally), and Joker finds Kaidan's dry wit incredibly funny. They get along just fine because they enjoy teasing each other for sport, but other people probably misinterpret this as dislike. Same with him and Ash.

Also, Tali! Two nerds just talking about tech, weapon mods, all that good stuff. And he's obviously very sweet and protective of her. I really have to read about those two.

If we're talking about ME2 squadmates, his choice would obviously be Samara. I think he would've been fascinated by her story, her abilities, her lifestyle and would've hung out with her a lot. They're just very similar people in my mind, and for Kaidan, it would have been an excellent insight into the extremes of the morality he tends to lean towards.

In ME3, he probably hangs out a lot with James and Steve because he likes Steve and he can tolerate James most of the time. XD I think Kaidan and Steve have a lot in common. There's this careful quietness about them. They're both observers, they're both cautious and reserved. And I think Kaidan can see that there's kindness at the core of Steve's soul, and that's important to him.

And finally, mShenko, because whether they end up as a couple or not, they're friends first and foremost. Their romance is purely friends to lovers. Not mentor/mentee+friends to lovers, but friends to lovers. They're open and honest with each other, they care about each other deeply, they know how to tease each other without hurting anyone's feelings. They're equals.

OTP

mShenko. Oh god, it's so good. The slow burn, the maturity of it, how they don't hide behind unnecessary labels and the promises that would probably never be fulfilled. They're just there for each other despite everything, despite their time running out, and it's perfect.

Bonus points for being so obviously horny for each other.

nOTP

Kaidan/Ashley. I just think they work a lot better as friends.

Random headcanon

Kaidan doesn't really like to talk about his childhood, not because it was bad, but because he had a "rich kid's childhood", and things that were common for him throughout his life are actually quite unique and only come when you have a lot of money.

How can you casually mention your annual vacation aboard your family yacht in the company of an Earthborn orphan, a turian from Palaven, and a quarian who spent most of her life on a starship?

Also, both mShep and Kaidan enjoy being knocked around a little from time to time. So they do sparring sessions together, and this shit is _intense_.

Unpopular opinion

He does casual hookups while on shore leave like any other normal Marine. He finds a girl or a guy, fucks nasty, blows off steam, and returns to his duties.

Song i associate with them

Garbage - Control

Favorite picture of them

This one.

Thank you for this ask! I always love to talk about my man Kaidan.

[do-you-ship-it-polls]

I am the first anon who posted about misandry. Thank you for your answer, I understand better why you posted this banner.

I just want to make a distinction between what I'd call feminist misandry and TERF misandry.

My friends are the farthest you can imagine from TERF (a lot of them are even trans). They are misandric because a lot have suffered from cis-men. For them, misandry is a protective instinct: if you meet a group of cis-men, be careful.

They hate cis-men as an oppressive group. They don't take a essentialistic view of masculinity, but a sociological one. Men are a group of power, that can abuse it, and they will protect each other. And of course, they don't include trans women in it. (A lot of the feel waaaaay safer with trans women than cis men).

That has nothing to do with TERFs, who use misandry to say "trans women are oppressors" or "trans women are essentially men"

Anyway, I understand the desire to piss off terfs and radfems. But I'd be sad if the word "misandry" was appropriated by them.

Sorry to bring that discourse, and thank you for the clarification!

genuinely don't understand why people are so deadset on identifying themselves as bigots who think 50% of humanity is out to get them. like, being against the patriarchy means you're a feminist or anti-sexist or ideally just a normal person but idk how many people agree. irrational hatred of men is not the same as wanting to knock the patriarchy down, all it does is just: be irrational hatred against men. when there's discussions like this, it also verges on "trans men aren't real men" territory because for some people, they are the exception. until they go on T and dress in a masculine way, then they're too cis man-like to participate in queer spaces (dunno how common it is, but it does happen!)

english isn't my first language, nor have I grown up in an american culture, so I wonder if it's my use of the word misandry that sets people off? like, is that a loaded word? because the definition of misandry is simply "hatred against men". it doesn't mean you feel uncomfortable with men or are scared of them, it means you hate men. I never thought that I would get so much shit for saying that it's weird to have such a deep, blind hatred for half of humanity. I don't think the word can be appropriated my radfems/terfs because there's nothing to be taken out of context, it means the same thing for anyone who uses the word.

why not just call yourself a feminist, an anti-sexist person, an anti-patriarchy person, etc etc. why do you label yourself as a person who hates all men for being born men and no matter what they do, they can never become a good person because they were born as men? I'm genuinely so baffled. not that anyone is planning on changing their mind about this, atleast not me.

thanks to the comments and asks that confirm to me that I'm not crazy for thinking this lol. also, I'm just some guy behind the screen. you can unfollow, block me, ask me to remove your submissions from the queue, whatever.

Just a fun side note, you know who started this discourse in the first place? All of this about transandrophobia and misandry?

little chihiro over on my queer blog... (I really liked the headcanon so if the person who submitted them sees this, i'm not saying it's your fault at all) just funny that it's this little cute character.

I should probably stop answering asks about his now.

[pastafossa]

Right So I have had a shittyyyyy past couple days which includes my laundry machine leaking into the basement RIP and when I tell you I saw the mention and opened this I just... sat here for a good five minutes staring at this. No moving, no words. I just blinked, fucking stunned. I’m STILL stunned. I’m trying to string the words together because like -

This is what it’s like to see threadlight. This is how Matt and her look in the river world.

The way the colors are shifting and fluid around her like a sea of fire. When there are enough threads around, and especially when she’s standing near Matt, this is what it feels like, soft and warm and constantly shifting. There’s so much red, so much white, their connection to each other and his connection to the city, this radiant flame in endless colors. The way she’s bare too, because she is when she’s like this, the two of them on even footing and vulnerable, yet comfortable with one another, trusting and open in their body language.

And the smoke around him slowly flowing back, parting, pulling away? Matt’s defenses literally flowing away just so that he can reach out and touch her, so she can touch him, so she can see every last bruise and scar, every last piece of himself that he’s offering her. AND you nailed it, because the smoke looks so SOLID here, like an absolute wall, something you’d struggle to push past, and yet it feels warm in this light, flickering with the little tongues of red, because it’s always warm, and when he’s with her, the smoke feels less threatening and far more gentle. You’ve nailed how he strips himself bare for her, for that third eye of hers so that she can see all of him.

And all of it beneath that SKYLINE.

*slow inhale*

Everything about this is perfect. The colors, the way shit is MOVING, the way you’ve managed to take the surrealness of this strange world in TRT and showed just how absolutely gorgeous it can be, like yes there’s danger in it, too, and it seems weird when Jane tries to explain it to people, but it’s beautiful too. All of these colors, this intimacy she can share with Matt, this intimacy that both of them have never felt with another person, it’s all captured here, and I’m - once again - stunned. You blow me away every fucking time.

I love this SO SO MUCH, and this alone is enough to sweep off the last few shitty days, because holy shit, this makes me so, so happy to look at!

Thank you so so much for making this, for sharing this, for putting love and time into this, it honestly made me tear up a little in the best way.

We fight every night for something When the sun sets, we're both the same Half in the shadows Half burned in flames

follow my new instagram for art WIPs! (๑ᵔᗜᵔ๑)

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 75: onehat

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wonder what it is about breaking up with someone and starting new that I find so upsetting. I realize that people also find break ups heartbreaking, but I know I take it to an extreme. I've never liked the idea of having different partners throughout my life. The idea of having an ex has always been something I hated. The type of breakup didn't matter to me. That is to say whether we ended on good or bad terms didn't make the idea of ending a relationship better to me. I'm not trying to be pretentious about it, I'm just being fr about a sentiment I've held for as long as I can remember. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed the idea of hook ups or casual dating. For better or worse, I've always held the belief that romantic relationships should be all in and serious from the beginning.

I think this feeling is definitely exacerbated by the fact that I've been passed up for another person before so I know what it's like to have someone "move on" from you, and it genuinely sucks like all fucking hell lmao. So the idea of "moving on" and being with someone else has been incredibly tarnished for me.

[batsplat]

Sepang 2006: After an exhausting race, Valentino Rossi brings a chair to the podium and sits down. Loris Capirossi joins him to sit on his lap.

[coquelicoq]

crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot

[sheyshen]

i think the main issue i'm having with veilguard atm is that they're sharing too much. there's too many things too many spoilers (no matter how minor) too many reveals and peaks that it's kinda dampening the hype so close to release. before the peak at the CC keep people were theorizing what might be important what might come up. there was talk and people looking forward to getting their hands on the game and CC and now there's just disappointment especially from people who don't really like solas all that much. we knew he'd be a focus in the story (since it was called dreadwolf originally after all) but with the preview having such small things and the focus just being "did your inquisitor kiss him? did they want to save him?" for sure feels like a reduction of what the inquisitor was in the previous game and how they could impact veilguard's story to "does solas like like you y/n." (which feels ironic honestly)

idk. i'm still looking forward to playing but seeing the 180 from so many fans after the latest reveal is quite something. I'm not saying BW should be secretive about the details, especially after a decade of development, but yea i get how so many people have kinda started losing that excitement for the next iteration of the series after having the previous 3 be so interconnected in little personal ways and now knowing this one won't be. while i get there's a lot of choices that have been made across the games that wouldn't make sense to import, what was the point of including the inquisition portion of the keep? just to have a little sheet of what options you made? that's it?

i'm sure this has been said a million times but just kinda getting my thoughts on it out. the game will probably still be good, the story fun, the gameplay engaging, but it does feel like they're going for a sort of reset of the series with this one and i can understand the mixed feelings about it.

[enchantrum]

Secrets of the Obscure is alright and all but am I the only one kinda miffed that they ripped off a lot of it from Dragon Age: Inquisition and didn't really add or change enough to be it's own unique thing?

even the rift hunting mechanic is Exactly The Same, because you Open the rift, then fight something then close it. the animation is almost 1-1 and even the eye in the rift looks like the Inquisition eye. if it wasn't for the fact that Even The Mechanic is the same I might not have noticed it so much, but the more I play the more blatant it feels

and then their wizard lore also just feels like how demons come out of the Fade in Dragon Age to possess mages. it's almost exact

disclaimer that I'm still enjoying it because it's fun and I like that we get to see Zojja again and have a better map for practicing skyscales for those who don't have one yet, but uh...this whole plot was stolen!

and yes I know there are certain fantasy tropes that re-occur in fantasy over and over, but this doesn't feel like that. it feels like the writers legit just snapped the base ideas from DAI and then barely added or changed anything to make it uniquely Guild Wars

imo it's definitely the weakest of all the packs

which is a shame because I LOVEDDDDD the intro. the whole sequence of having to defend yourself and run for your life was so ridiculously tense, I really felt like I was playing a horror game

but now I'm on Ep. 7 and all the potential feels wasted because I feel like I'm playing the underwritten fanfiction of another game that I already played 10 years ago and didn't like that much the first time

[batfamfucker]

Appreciation post for 'girly girl' characters and/or shows that celebrate traditionally feminine things that girls and women are shamed for.

Characters on this list that love makeup, fashion, hair, etc. Characters that are still written as strong, intelligent, brave, etc. That told young girls that these interests are valid, they are not lesser interests. Being feminine and liking traditionally feminine things does not make them weak.