#i have a concept down but it doesn't feel very balanced :(

[kvomi]

dropping this here b4 i get too embarrassed buuut. . . tried to put an outfit tgt for my idv self-insert hehe !! might make some tweaks since i'm still a teeny bit iffy on it but this is basically what i imagine them wearing! ໒꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀི১

[sysig]

Sweet dreams, for a time (Patreon)

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [2]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, daddy issues, idk how one lives with zero gravity, barely proofread

Word count: 2,3k

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What actually took six years didn't feel like that to you at all. One moment you closed your eyes as you were put into cryosleep and after what felt like one second passed, you got woken up from your deep slumber. The claustrophobic space you are in makes something inside of you itch. Good thing you were into cryosleep, you couldn't have survived sleeping in this tube every night for six years in a row. Once your tube was pulled out of the wall, you immediately feel yourself floating. So this is what space felt like.

"Drink and eat lots, since you will feel very weak!", a loud voice echoes through the room as one by one everyone left their cryosleep. You float through the room with a smile on your face as you hold onto handles, lockers, anything to keep your balance. An excited scream could be heard from behind you, it was your friend Raja. "You are not dead I see," she jokes as she floats towards you, her arms wide open to invite you in a hug, "this is honestly insane, I can't believe that we are actually doing this!" You wrap your arms around you as you share her excitement, "I know right? We worked so hard for this, I can't believe this is happening." You met Raja on your first day being at the resistance base. She shared her passion for nature with pride and you always admired her for this. A cough is heard behind your back and Raja looks over your shoulder to see who it was, "Seb!" she squeals as she carefully gets out of your hug, floating towards their other friend to engulf him in a hug. You watch as Raja and Seb share their excitement with each other. They really didn't age at all while being in cryosleep, such an interestingly concept it was. You float towards them, holding onto Seb's shoulder to keep your balance and not pass out, because damn they were right. You feel so tired and weak. If you weren't in space right now you probably would have fallen to the floor. Your limbs felt like cooked noodles, you really needed to eat. "The trio is back at it again to cause havoc!!" Seb ruffles your head, your hair tangling in between his fingers as he did so. The three of you were the inseparable trio. While you had a group of friends you hung out with, you three always just stuck together like glue. It may have been the fact you bonded over being reckless warriors, thriving on the thrill and action, or the fact all three of you were top students, but that doesn't matter. Raja and Seb are your partners in crime til death do you all part. The two are engaged in a deep conversation, but you didn't bother to listen or chime in. You wanted to explore, and see what you worked your entire teenagehood for. Grabbing onto the handle against the walls, you made your way towards the huge window, were also most of the crew was floating around. You had to see this for yourself, you had to believe it with your own eyes. What if you were still dreaming?

"Excuse me, Pardon me!", still not used to not having any gravity, you keep bumping into other warriors. A 'watch where you're going!' was screamed your way, but you paid no mind to it as you had more important things to do. Floating past the last person that kept you from seeing outside, your eyes immediately widen at the beauty that lay in front of you. A planet, looking exactly like earth, right in front of you. It was beautiful, the true meaning behind mother nature. You bring your hand towards your cheek to pinch yourself, was this real? Were you truly experiencing this? When you pinched yourself so hard, leaving a red mark on your skin, and you didn't wake up you knew this was real. You were knocked out of your senses pretty quickly, as everyone was told to dress up, eat and get together in the common area. Where that was? No idea, but what you knew is that you were excited as hell. You basically swam through the air towards the lockers, where your supposed gear would be. The sight was probably incredibly silly, you thought, you probably looked like a swimming frog. Yet you didn't care about the stares that were given you. The only thing on your mind was to see Pandora with your own eyes— not out of books, notes you had to read, or drawings. You left without telling Seb or Raja, but you would probably find them, considering you're going to the same destination and those two definitely weren't to miss.

You float past all the lockers with nameplates, looking for your name. You were told that they were in alphabetic order. Last name. You could never escape him, could you? You proceed to float, using the lockers to pull yourself up and speed up towards the lockers that start with 'S'. Upon floating in front of the name that haunted you every day, you sigh and slam the locker open. Clothes sealed in recycled plastic, a pair of shoes, and an oxygen mask. Fortunately, it wasn't those old aquarium-like masks. When you learned about those you thought they were ugly as hell: a head in an aquarium. Those were designed like gas masks. Was that the best way to explain them? They only covered the mouth and nose part to breathe properly, it didn't cover the entire face anymore. You flash a skeptical expression towards the clothes in your arms. They were dark colors, dark colors in a hot amazon-like forest? If it were up to you, you wouldn't have chosen a little more, bare, clothes. For the sweat to at least dry up and not soak in the clothes. "Weird choice of clothes, right?", Raja appeared next to you, out of the blue, making you flinch. You quickly managed to cover it up and compose yourself, "I'm gonna end up looking like a crab while fighting a villain, kind of embarrassing." she laughs at your reply and grabs a hold of your forearm, "come on let's go change. Seb already went to change!" And with that, your friend pulls you with her. Changing your clothes was kind of awkward. The room was a big space where all women changed next to one another. It gave PE class vibes. You felt sticky and disgusting as you changed out of the clothes you wore for six years. Wearing fresh, clean clothes is always better than nothing. The material feels nice against your skin, and very cooling. As you look in the mirror, fixing every detail to look as neat as possible. You roll your sleeves up just a tad bit and tried to loosen the corset-like clothing piece around your upper body. It doesn't look exactly like a corset, but it's one of those clothing pieces that have a corset built into it. The mask is hanging against your hip, ready to be used 24/7 once you stepped foot on Pandora. The pants were a little wide thankfully, enough space to move into. "What is it with the corset though? Who wears a corset while fighting?" "Maybe it's bulletbroof or something?"

After this whole ordeal in the dressing room with some people whining about the clothes being too hot, while others were second guessing if the outfit was nice to fight in, you finally made your way towards this common area. There everyone was awkwardly sitting, what one could call sitting in space. Everyone was given a granola bar to snack on and a sealed bag with a sweet drink in it. You leaned against Seb, as you were too tired to use your strength to hold onto anything. Eating the bar and sipping from the overly-sweetened drink, you listened to the peptalk your superiors were giving you all. It was something about protecting Pandora, RDA and the forest Na'vi, but you really were too tired to listen. It was most likely the talk they did every time before you went into cryosleep. If you missed anything you could just ask Raja or Seb about it.

What almost felt like a decade to you, actually took just a few hours before you finally landed on Pandora. During the landing all, maybe twenty of you in total, were seated as you braced for impact. It wasn't too bad, it was like a plane landing. Before the doors opened, the duffel bags you took with you were placed on your laps. For your instance, the bag with the wrapped katana you got from your lieutenant was handed to you. You put your mask against your face, pressing it down and securing it as you breathe in the oxygen from the earth. Red lights flash through the area you're in with the others as the secured door lowers to the Pandorean ground, revealing the beauty of mother nature. You rise from your seat as your seat belt was already unclasped. Without waiting any longer, you rushed to the outside world in a heartbeat. Watching your surroundings, it seems like you landed on the resistance base. Unlike the RDA base, which you saw during your learning process, this one was more integrated with mother nature rather than destroying it to make space. It was so organic, so natural. A team was already waiting for your arrival, all standing in a row as you lock gazes with a Na'vi. Unlike the things you were taught about Na'vi clothing, this one was wearing human clothes. Could this be what one would call an avatar? The same situation your dad was also in? You start thinking he was your dad, but it didn't look like him at all. You knew avatars were supposed to look like their 'owners'. Even though it was supposed to be your dad's brother's avatar, they were twins. One would ask 'you don't know what your dad's avatar body looks like?', but honestly as you said many times you tried to pull away from the hauntings Jake Sully got you. The insecurities, and issues you got from his betrayal, his departure. It truly hit you like a truck. Questions would pop up like:

Were you enough?

Was there something wrong with you?

Why didn't he come back to you?

You couldn't take talking about your dad's new life. Selfish one may call it, then you were selfish in their eyes. You didn't care. Wanting your dad, is that selfish? Missing your dad, is that selfish? Angry because your dad wanted a new life without you, is that selfish? You yearned for him, yet despised talking about him. That's why you don't know what he looks like, what he is up to. You just know his history: put into the avatar body from his brother to follow military orders. From only caring about getting a paycheck to protecting the natives. He was crowned with the name Toruk Makto as you were taught. Mated to Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'Ite, daughter of the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik. When you first heard about this, you felt sick to your stomach. Reality hitting you even harder at age thirteen. It was already bad enough to know your dad left you, but also getting to know that he settled down while you spent your time waiting for him? You remember running out of the classroom when a superior taught you this information. This was also how you got in contact with Raja and Seb. They comforted you while everyone else thought of you as weird, weak. They were the first people, besides the superiors that came in contact with you, that came to know about your dad being Jake Sully, about the struggles you got after he left. Yet, they didn't laugh at what you thought was exaggerating. They listened carefully to your words as the tears rolled down your cheeks.

'We were attached to the hip, what went wrong?'

'Did I make him unhappy?'

'Was I too much for him?'

'Was he looking for something more rather than being a single dad?'

You spilled your insecurities to them and they never uttered a word about it to someone else. You will be forever grateful for them. You were so lost in thoughts, getting slightly emotional at all these thoughts about your dad, until a hand rested on your shoulder, "and last but not least, you must take her with you. She's our best warrior, Norm. She will need to stay on the battlefield, closest to the war." So Norm was his name. A pretty goofy one if you had to be honest. The avatar named Norm stood at least 10 feet tall as he looked down at you, literally. You just reached around his crotch area, which is kinda embarrassing because imagining running into his front. Hopefully, he likes to travel in his human body more. "Then that's settled, Oel Ngati Kameie." His hand rested against his forehead, slowly bringing it down to his chest. You flashed him a kind smile in return, ready for whatever adventure you will come across, "Oel Ngati Kameie."

But only if you knew.

.

.

"They have arrived, they will help us."

"They're sky demons! All the same!"

"I used to be one as well, yet I had a change of heart. Please accept the help they will offer us, for our people, for our family, our fortress." his hands grip hers, intertwining their fingers as he spoke to her in private, away from the children. He opened his mouth again, pressing his forehead against hers, "please, Ma Neytiri."

A/N: first of all, thank you all so much for the positive feedback. I honestly didn't expect it I'm gonna be fr😭 it gave me enough motivation to write part 2, so here it is, earlier than expected. I hope you enjoyed <3

also i hope no one noticed me accidentally posting the draft cause that was silly

Taglist (I couldn't find everyone):

@hoodiepandaninja16 @l0v3e1i @neteyamforlife @noname2246 @bunnyrose01 @littlelia007 @j0551 @navs-bhat @fyfy-world @hellok1ttycake @coterami @lwozy @erenjaegerwifee @n1ght5h4d3-24 @kahlowy @iloveavatar @farleyis @reguluscrystals @inomoikawa @bobojojoba69 @m3ll0n1xx @eternallyvenus @shyskybbb @imakms @keira7664 @alice121804 @aimsro @carollise @jjkclub @onlytays @wolfiealina @guska0 @yeosxxx @dakotali @destinylb @degenweeb @sunshinewwx @alohastitch0626

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - which enhypen member (hyung line) is your ideal boyfriend?

thought of a fun idea where i could look into which enhypen member (hyung line) would be your ideal boyfriend. remember to please take the reading lightly and for fun! breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

➳❥ pile 1

sim jaeyun

shuffled song: take one to the head by sabrina claudio

you immediately strike me as quite mature. regardless of your age, you might already have a good amount of crucial life experience; maybe you're an old soul caught in a younger body. or you've just been through certain things in life, which have shaped you into this wise and complex soul. either way, there seems to be wisdom and knowledge, as well as this profound understanding of life within you. you ask the meaningful and deeper questions in life. jake is a boyfriend, who enjoys relationships which transform him for the better. he likes people who can have a significant impact on him and his life; i can see you having the potential to amuse jake with not only your ability to talk about the deeper and more serious topics in life, but also your natural charm. it seems like you have this aura about you, where people just feel drawn to you automatically. jake loves meeting people who just cause this sensation in him, where he feels attracted right at first glance.

regardless of which gender you identify as, you seem to embrace your feminine qualities quite beautifully. you're very attractive, and have this nice balance between empathy, emotionality and sensuality, but also fiery vibrancy and a strong presence. these are traits jake feels drawn to easily; again, he just loooves someone who makes an impression on him. he loves people who stand out in the crowd. whether it's because of your emotional intelligence, your talent and hard work in a certain field (maybe artistically), or this intriguing passion you radiate.. you are quite the force to be reckoned with, and jake would probably agree with me on that.

even despite all the ways in which you draw attention to yourself, you also seem to be someone who does enjoy the quiet and more intimate times. you do need breaks to calm down; jake is a boyfriend who also very much likes to focus on his lovers only, and spend time with them while away from everyone else. i can see you two spending the day together just cuddling, watching movies, getting to know each other on an even deeper level. jake is a guy who definitely enjoys his quality time, and likes bonding over it. so he'd love to recharge his energy by spending quality time with you on his off days; it'd just be this dynamic of calm and peaceful, but also hot and steamy times whenever you two feel like it.

in addition, you might be a person who doesn't like letting go of what's dear to them; whether that is material things, or the people you hold close to your heart. jake himself can have this complex duality where, he is possessive and quite obsessive over his lovers himself, but can also have his impulsive ways. however, if he comes together with a dedicted partner who remains committed to him throughout all trials, this will ignite the spark within him to stick by their side as well. this stable approach you could potentially bring into the relationship, could be of huge benefit to someone like jake, whose mars in libra often strikes me as significant. he gives me the energy of a person who values the concept of give and take, where if someone treats him a certain way, he will want to give it back to them. i can see you two coming together as an experience where, you can bond over your similarities and bring out the better in each other, in order to create a connection based on a stable and firm ground, consisting of real trust.

➳❥ pile 2

park sunghoon

shuffled song: me after you by paul kim

you might be a person who likes the idea of having a boyfriend, who's ready to be the provider and protector in your life. someone mature, dependable and reliable, who steps up to take charge and lead the relationship. perhaps you also don't mind the thought of more traditional roles within a romantic connection, and enjoy the concept of a domestic life.

do you feel like you'd benefit from a more stable and strong figure by your side sometimes? you might be someone who's in possession of a more sensitive, soft and easily hurt heart. you might also be someone self-critical, and could have a tendency to overthink or get nervous and anxious about trivial things. (don't be so hard on yourself <3) sunghoon is a boyfriend who puts a lot of importance into establishing emotionally intimate bonds with his lovers. he's also a person who can display this soothing source of comfort and peace for his partners. he's good at making people feel listened to, and cared about.

sunghoon would be a person who's ready to listen to whatever you have to say, someone who'd always have an open ear to allow you to vent and let out your worries or frustrations. whether that's through the phone, in person; he'd help you feel supported and looked after, he'd be this rock-like existence that brings you a lot of strength and stability in life. you could lean on him comfortably, feel like you've found your person, someone who you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to without any second thoughts. he'd not only be a boyfriend who'd want to know you like no other, but he would want to understand you like no other.

“tell me more.”

“it's a long story though..”

“for you, i have all the time in the world.”

you could also enjoy quiet and relaxing times together with him. perhaps you are a person who leans on the more introverted and reserved side, or just need your peace at the end of the day, and would like someone you could, basically be alone together with. sunghoon would love intimate dates where it's just you two, in a dimly candle lit room, watching a romantic movie, with the rest of the world masked out. he'd truly enjoy feeling only your presence next to him, and your heart would feel at ease. because you would feel comfortable knowing the person next to you is someone who loves you and takes you for who you are in your entirety. as i said in my ideal type reading, it's like having a lifelong bestfriend.

furthermore, you could be a person, who can take some time with developing trust and warming up to people. sunghoon is a patient lover, who doesn't rush into relationships, and not only takes his own time, but also allows the other party to be slower when it comes to matters like letting down their walls. he usually enjoys relationships which go on for a long period; preferably forever, if only they could. therefore, he wouldn't be rash or overwhelming in his approach at all; he would respect, as well as protect your personal boundaries, and let you take your time with getting to know each other.

lastly, sunghoon would be a boyfriend who'd be up to defend you against whoever dares to come at you. you seem like someone who might've dealt with their share of challenges and obstacles in life till now (i keep feeling like you've just felt quite alone in your difficulties..) and might be a person who'd like for their partner to speak and stand up for them when the situation calls for it sometimes. maybe you're just tired of fighting on your own. sunghoon is a boyfriend who absolutely would place himself in front of the person he loves, in order to protect them from any harm. (i heard the chorus of grenade by bruno mars in my head) he'd be a boyfriend who wouldn't want to leave you to deal with any struggle on your own, and would put in effort to ensure you feel secure, sheltered and guarded; basically in safest of hands, when you're with him.

➳❥ pile 3

lee heeseung

shuffled song: the wisp sings by winter aid

heeseung is a diligent and mindful boyfriend who carries a lot of high expectations, not only towards his partner, but especially himself. whenever i read for him, i get a lot of insecurities and doubts concerning the romantic aspect of his life.. he's someone who defines so much of his own worth and value by what he can do for people. so best believe if you get to a place of dating him, he'll be immensely focused on pleasing and satisfying you. his significant other will be the main thing occupying his mind; he'll be obsessed about you. like all he'd think about is; “what can i buy for y/n? was my gift or date idea good enough? how did they react? what more can i do for them, so they feel happy in this connection, i'm worried they feel bored.” he'll have all these questions in his mind constantly. i feel like you two might share this tendency to hyperfixate on the people you love. you might share this pronounced earthy and airy energy, where both of you can be prone to overthinking, but at the same time, go through life expecting a lot from yourself, as well as the people around you. hard-workers in several different ways. you yourself might also not be the type to be easily satisfied.

heeseung seems to carry a level of mistrust towards his lovers; he can get worried he isn't enough for them, and they might end up filling the potential lack of emotional fulfilment in their relationship, with someone else. he wants to provide you with everything you need in life; whether that's material matters, or emotionally. he can often feel like he isn't doing that, no matter how much effort he puts into the connection, it's never truly enough.. however, i can tell you are a person who's keen on remaining committed and dedicated to the people you love. you carry a lot of understanding and acceptance, you don't read as someone extremely judgemental or overly strict. if you love someone (which i feel doesn't happen as often.. you don't fall in love quickly, but once you do ->) you love them with everything they come with. you're aware you yourself aren't perfect, and are willing to work on yourselves together. you want the relationship to consist of a foundation of trust and tolerance towards each other's shortcomings; you want to grow and improve together. you aren't the type to have eyes for anyone else once you enter a serious commitment. you seem very caring and giving towards the people you cherish. if one person pours into your cup generously, you will make sure you pour into their cup as well. i can tell you'd be a good addition to heeseung's life, in a way where you could soothe his worries and anxious mindset in this regard.

i also believe your conflict-resolving skills will be good together. i think you two could get into plenty of arguments; however instead of allowing them to drag you down or negatively impact the relationship, the conflicts will aid you in getting to know each other on a deeper level. you aren't the type to throw the towel once you two had a falling-out, but instead, you'll look back on yourself and think about how you can use this situation to improve your behaviour and attitude. you'd both be eager to recognise the mistakes each of you made. i can see both of you teaching each other how to apologise, how to own up to your faults, and enrich each other's lives with the cooperative and understanding mindset you both bring to the table. despite your potential and likely up and down's, you'd both balance each other out in a way where i can see a lot of growth and comfort in this connection.

➳❥ pile 4

park jeongseong

shuffled song: so beautiful by dpr ian

jay has quite the dynamic personality, which also showcases itself as him as a boyfriend. he's someone who's incredibly passionate, very enthusiastic and ambitious, but in relationships, he truly values stability and a firm ground. he wants a person who also puts importance into starting a romantic connection based on a foundation of trust and dedication. jay seems to have had some rather unfavourable experiences regarding someone's loyalty, which have resulted in him having the tendency to get suspicious more easily than others. therefore, he wants a person he can fully invest his trust into with no doubt. he wants someone who holds him as a priority just the way he himself would see you as up there on his list of most important people in his life. although in this reading, i very much tapped into jay's energy moreso than yours; i do sense that you are a person who wants to stay committed once you've found a person you see as worth it.

being in a relationship with jay; you can expect him to be quite solid. he can quickly pressure himself to be the best he can be for you, put a lot of the responsibility on his back automatically. he can be so strict with himself that he can lose himself in all the practical thinking and easily disconnect from his emotions. he wants someone who can nurture his emotional side more, would love to have an empathetic, emotionally intelligent, as well as understanding partner who's more in tune with their feelings than he is. are you perhaps a water sign? or do you have any significant water placements? you might be quite in touch with your more “feminine” side. (as in softer, more emotional and nurturing) even if not, you seem to be someone who has the ability to make people feel understood and comfortable. there's this very loving and caring side to you, which would balance jay's more rational approach nicely. he himself has an abundance of emotions, it's just a side of him that doesn't always find its way out as much. as a cancer moon for example, i think a cancer sun or venus would make a beautiful fit for him.

i get the energy, that you're also someone who's quite loyal and committed to the dear people in your life. you might be someone who prefers a small but close circle of friends, or someone who prefers more intimate settings in general. maybe you get overwhelmed or overstimulated quickly, and don't like masses of people. do you have a strenuous job? or one that requires you to see people a lot? there's this desire for rest and quiet here, which i don't feel is only reserved for jay.

this is something i've mentioned a lot, but jay is another person who seems to truly want a source of peace and comfort in his life. he wants this person he can come back home to at the end of the day, to spend some relaxing and soothing times with. he wants you to feel like his break, essentially. even if he's had a stressful, physically and mentally exhausting day; he wants to be able to meet you afterwards, and feel like all the stress is relieved by just a hug. i can see you having the potential to become a person who grants him that. i can feel you having a deep soul, who reflects and introspects a lot. maybe you're even more of a loner deep down, or more of an introvert (i do feel you might be an ambivert who does well in both settings; but needs that quiet time to shut off and recharge) jay would love to have a person like you in his life. you could bond over your similarities in that manner, and give each other what both of you crave in your lifes; passion, stability, dedication and peace.

[yesimwriting]

oh my god yes i'm very much interested in a drabble about my favourite besties kissing as besties do!!!!!!!!

the one that i really can't stop thinking about is the "i trust you more than anyone else" stuff like it's me and you against the world i'm such a sucker for that!! especially since felix is surrounded by people who wanna be close to him all the time and as easy going and open as he seems with anyone, it's of course on an entirely different level with reader

ugh the intimacy of it all makes me melt i love them😭😭

you get the vision!!

also had to start off a little angstier than usual bc the bestie kiss ™️ is only justifiable if both of them are upset enough to be more focused on being close than anything else, y'know

----

The taste lingers. The bitterness infects all it touches, poisoning you from the inside out as you down the drink that some guy pushed into your hand a few minutes ago.

A familiar warning briefly flashes to the front of your mind. Don't take drinks from strangers...especially not drinks that you didn't see them make. One of a hundred safety rules that you usually adhere to.

You've never really under the self destructive urge after drinking thing. Maybe it's just being tired. Maybe it's just this.

You wipe at your eyes with your palm, only remembering the products you had so carefully applied to your skin a few hours ago after the fact.

"Are you--" A familiar voice cuts through the music. You blink once, but it's not enough to force your eyes to adjust, so you try again. After screwing your eyes shut for a second, you can finally make out the person in front of you. Annabel. "You don't look like you're doing too good."

Your irritation has nothing to do with her, and yet seeing her standing there, effortlessly flawless with a slight edge that just fits here, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. But that's not her fault, so as stabiliy and politely as possible, you answer, "I'm...fine."

She regards you for a moment, eyebrows pinching together in uncertainty. "Why don't we find Felix, yeah?"

Why does everyone always assume that Felix is the solution to all of your problems? "I'm okay," you try again, voice a little more certain, "really."

Annabel still doesn't seem too convinced. She turns her head, scanning the crowded room. It doesn't take long for her to find Felix. It never does.

He's sitting on a loveseat that's been pushed towards the edge of the room. A few people are standing around him, a girl is sitting on the chair's arm, her legs swung over his lap.

"And he seems..." You force your face to remain neutral as your eyes finally land on him. "Busy."

Annabel looks back at you, her lips pressing together. Her expression only adds to your unease. "He wouldn't mind. It's you."

You shake your head, the motion adding to your slight nausea. Usually, you wouldn't think twice about sticking by Felix's side. Especially in this kind of setting, but after the words the two of you exchanged earlier, everything feels off its axis.

You're not used to fighting with Felix. It's such a foreign concept that the strange tension that had you walking away from him earlier probably doesn't even constitute an actual argument. But it's enough to make you feel out of place.

Swallowing once, you force yourself to focus on Annabel. "I think I just need some air." Annabel's still regarding you with uncertainty. "I'll be back in a minute, and if I feel sick or anything, I'll go get Felix." She doesn't move until someone calls her name. "Go. Have fun. I'll see you."

Annabel nods once, giving you a polite smile before leaving.

The door is near where Felix is sitting, which means there's no leaving without walking past him. There's enough of a crowd around him that him not noticing is a likely option, so you feel safe crossing the room.

You push your way through the room, eyes trained on the ground to help your balance. It's also a good excuse to not look at Felix as you reach the door.

There are stragglers--a group of girls chatting and giggling in front of the door, some guys doing shots, a girl in the middle of a phone call that looks painful.

You walk around the side of the house until you find an empty section of the sidewalk. The party feels far away here, even though the only thing dividing you is a few cars, a mailbox, and a streetlight. You sit and let yourself pretend that the bit of distance you've managed to create means something.

You could actually leave. Sure, this is a slightly off campus house party, but it's only a few blocks away from the street that'll take you to your dorm. You did walk here, but that was when you were focused, sober, and you had Felix with you.

But that's--you brought cash. You think. Maybe you should call a cab. It's not the worst idea. You drop your attention to the ground, instinctually searching for your purse.

Ugh. Your purse. Felix. You gave it to Felix.

Okay, you're still an independent person. This is probably for the best. It's never a good idea to leave a party without at least telling the person you came with, and this way it won't be a big deal. You'll ask for your purse so that you can call a cab. He probably won't even care.

You just need a minute to get it together. Then you'll be able to go back in, tap Felix on his shoulder, and get your purse. He won't even have to get that girl off his lap.

It is such a double standard. Felix completely forgetting about you is perfectly fine, but you talk to one person that isn't more Felix's friend than yours at one of these things and that must mean you're trying to replace him as a best friend.

Maybe you've been deluding yourself, convincing yourself that your friendship means more than it actually does. The thought makes it hard to breathe right.

"It's cold out."

Your palms press into asphalt as you snap your head to find the source of the sound. Felix. A lump wedges itself in your throat. "I'm fine." He takes a step forward. "I just wanted some air."

You turn your head, forcing yourself to stare ahead. Soft footsteps, the crunching of asphalt echoes, somehow sharper than the music coming from the house. Felix sits.

He's farther than he usually is.

You lift your hands, taking your time brushing your fingers against your palms to get rid of the debris that indented itself into your skin. "You um--you have my purse, right?" You fold your hands against your lap. "I need my phone. I--I need to call a taxi."

"What?" His voice doesn't come out angry, but there's a flatness there that burrows deep into the pit of your stomach. It almost feels disappointed. "Why?"

You squeeze your hands together, "I want to go home." You still can't look at him. "I want to go back to my room." Your voice starts to crack on the last word. Nails instinctually dig into your knee.

Felix sighs, angling himself towards you, "You don't have to do that." His voice is soft, cautious. "If you want to leave, I'll take you."

"No," you shake your head once, attention still focused forward to keep him from noticing the fact that your eyes are now watering. All of this feels so dumb, so small. Why are you almost crying? "It's okay, you're having fun, I can get back by myself."

He lets out another breath, moving his arm so that his hand sits between both of you. "You're drunk."

"So are you."

A beat of silence that feels like an attempt at admitting that he's more than just drunk. You saw Tyler--or Trevor, or maybe Timothy--wandering the halls. Some guy whose name you can never remember because he only shows up at the end of nights, when you're too out of it to do much more than just be happy. He's known for carrying--and sharing--harder stuff.

Not that you'd know. There's nowhere that Felix won't take you, nothing that he keeps from you. That's part of the beauty of your friendship, the lack of judgement. But Felix isn't fond of you participating in everything all the time.

If you ever show interest in anything on a night that Felix isn't feeling too sure about, he'll offer to get you whatever you want later, when it's just the two of you. Maybe you'd mind his concern if you cared about getting high more.

You can feel Felix's stare, the weight of his full attention. "You don't actually think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone, after drinking, in the middle of the night."

There's a patience there that makes it hard to sit still. You turn your head, finally looking at him, "I'm fine. I can--" You cut yourself off with a slight sniffle.

You wipe at your face with the side of your palm. Felix's eyebrows are pinched together. You don't know what to make of the way he's watching you. Felix lifts his hand, fingers finding their way against your jaw before you can move. "You're upset."

Pressing your lips together, you try to force yourself to look as neutral as possible. "I'm fine." He doesn't move. "You should go back to your party, Felix."

"The party?" His expression briefly contorts in confusion. "I don't care about the party." Your vision is starting to blur. "There are other parties. You're crying." Felix shifts his hand up your face, his thumb brushing against the apple of your cheek.

You try to take a stabilizing breath, "It's not a big deal." You will yourself to move, to rely on him less. "I don't think I'm going to be any fun tonight, you should go, and I--I'll talk you tomorrow."

He frowns. "You don't have to be any fun." Felix shouldn't have to coddle you. Embarrassment and guilt further knot your stomach. "If you want to sit here, we can sit here. If you want to go inside, we can go inside. If you want to go home, we'll go home."

"Earlier," you manage, focusing on keeping your voice as even as possible, "When we--" Tears pool in your eyes, something at the back of your throat constricts. "I didn't--I don't know--"

You're not making sense, forcing out fragments of thoughts that don't work together. Felix seems to understand anyway, his thumb grazing against your cheek. "We don't have to talk about that now." You nod slowly. "If you still want to go home, let me take you."

You attempt a full breath, "But what ab--"

He tilts his head in a way that makes it feel like he's telling you a secret, "If you ask about the party again, I'm calling you delusional."

You roll your eyes. It's a relatively lame threat, but it serves its purpose. The corner of your mouth tugs itself upwards, your lips pressed together to hold in a partial laugh. "Okay."

Felix's hand slips from the side of your face and finds a new place against your shoulder. "Yeah? Let's go then."

He stands first and then extends an arm to help you. His stability makes it easier.

There is no laughter or pausing on sidewalks to try to hold onto each other. The two of you are quiet, but Felix does keep your fingers intertwined the entire way back to his dorm.

You don't think to question where he's taking you until you're in his room. "Felix." The walk had been good for you, the fresh air and time to gather your thoughts providing enough of a reprieve for you to get it together. "I want to go to sleep."

"Yeah," he mumbles, "I know, I'll get you your favorite shirt."

Your eyes focus on the ground. "I think I should sleep in my room tonight."

Felix sighs, turning away from the door. "You're trying to leave again."

The accusation only half makes sense, but there's a quietness to his voice that gets to you. All the nervous, alcohol fueled energy is coming back with a vengeance. "When have I ever left you?"

Felix scoffs, the sound bitter. "You left me tonight." If his voice was any less raspy, any less urging, you likely would have laughed. He's the one that got mad at you. "You just--you walked away from me. Like I didn't even matter to you."

The a thinly veiled sadness there that almost feels nervous. He can't meet your gaze. The pride encouraging you to stand still bleeds from you. Without its heat, its fire, there's not much keeping you stable.

You move forward, footsteps cautious. "Felix." You stretch a hand forward, fingers brushing against his forearm. He doesn't move. "Of course you matter to me. So much." Your fingers bend around his wrist. "You're my best friend."

He turns his arm. Your body tenses, preparing for his rejection. Felix's hand squeezes yours. There's a tension in his hold, but you embrace it all the same. "You walked away from me."

You take another step towards him, freehand finding his arm. "That's why." He sets a hand against you waist. The contact is firm, unforgiving. There's still hurt, but the only thing more unthinkable than holding on is letting go. "What you say means so much to me, because you're my best friend." His fingers press into your side. "And you were upset--and there were so many people--" Tears prick the corner of your eyes. "And I couldn't do that there."

"No." He squeezes your hand. "No, don't--don't cry, we're okay." As if to prove his point, Felix pulls you closer. The movement's too sudden for you to keep your balance on your own. You tighten your hold on Felix's arm. "Still my best girl, yeah?"

This is nowhere near the closest you've ever been to him. He has a hand on your hip, but that's far from the touchiest he's ever been. It shouldn't--he shouldn't be this distracting. It takes you a second too long to remember to nod.

He angles his head downwards, his cheek finding a place against your shoulder. Felix's breath is warm against your neck. "Wouldn't leave me."

You nod, moving your hand to rest against his back. Felix relaxes against you. It's not easy to stay stable with the alcohol still in your system and Felix's weight on you, but you manage.

"No." You mean it so much it almost hurts to get out. You'd never walk away from him. There's nothing like your bond with Felix. You could talk to him, be around him forever without feeling drained. "Of course not."

Felix turns his head, brushing his lips against your neck. "Stay over, then?" The question is soft, fragile. It'd be smart to create distance. If tonight's proven anything, it's that you're too attached to him. "Please?"

You smooth your knuckles against his spine. "Okay." He presses a kiss against your shoulder. "Yeah. I'll stay."

He hugs you even tighter. "No more tears, alright?"

You squeeze him back. "Alright."

For awhile, the two of you stay like that. There's nothing left to say, and that still manages to be comfortable. Silence is never uncomfortable with Felix.

He eventually shifts to place a kiss against the side of your neck. "We should get ready for bed."

You hum once in agreement. Neither of you move. Things are simple when you factor out the rest of the world. Things are easy when it's just you and Felix.

An overwhelming wave of fondness brings you back. As gently as possible, you start the process of untangling limbs. Felix pouts at you, expression drowsier than before.

Your fingers carefully brush his hair out of his face. "I need to change."

Felix fully straightens. His hand finds the back of your head. He pulls you towards him, pressing a kiss against your forehead. "Okay."

He lets go of you before walking towards his dresser. Felix opens the top drawer and finds your usual sleep shirt. You take it before entering his bathroom.

Going out outfits are cute, but there's something about the moment you get home that immediately forces every ounce of discomfort to hit all at once. You shed the restrictive layers before pulling Felix's T-shirt over your head.

You swear there's some kind of rich guy secret to keeping clothes this soft. A combination of fabric, fancy detergent, and some third thing that's reserved for those in the know.

You turn on the sink, ready to wash what's left of the night off of your face. Felix has never gotten rid of or moved anything you've left in here. What's left of your buzz has you more emotional than usual, making the evidence of your life in his space heavier than it should be.

The feeling is good and bad all at once. Your attachment to Felix is the kind of thing that can only come from fully understanding someone. But there's an inherent danger in knowing someone like that, carrying about them like that. Especially Felix, who has everyone so he doesn't need anyone.

You splash some more water onto your face, attempting to shake off any lingering angst. You don't want to dissect your friendship until it eventually falls apart into nothingness.

When you finally step back into his room, Felix is sitting on his bed, back pressed against the wall. He's managed to change into pajama pants, but seems to be struggling with everything else. His shirt's half unbuttoned, and his fingers are actively working at undoing the rest of them. Felix's movements are slow and clumsy as he tugs on the fabric.

Wow. Maybe you were right to think he was high. "Hey." He looks up at you, hands still attempting to pull apart his shirt. There's something endearing about the clumsiness. He drops his head back down to refocus."Do you--uh--do you need help?"

He angles his head to one side, a smile playing at his lips. "Are you asking to undress me?"

Heat burns through your chest, leaving you hollow. You approach his dresser, leaving your neatly folded outfit on the wooden surface. "Figure out your own shirt."

"No," his sigh is light, almost a laugh, "'M kidding." Your glare only seems to add to his easygoing mood. He smiles, dropping a hand to pat the space next to him. "Come here."

You give in with a sigh, crossing the room and sitting at the foot of his bed. He reaches forward, briefly squeezing your shoulder before returning to work on his shirt. It's hard to watch him stumble through undoing a single button, just to have to start the process all over again.

You pull your legs onto the bed, turning to fully face him. Your knee is pressed against his thigh.

"Lovie," he hums, as if your presence is some kind of revelation.

"Felix." He grins, hands releasing his shirt in favor of trying to grasp your arm. "Wait--" His fingers wrap around your wrist. "I'm--trying--" He pulls your hand towards him, placing a kiss against your knuckles. You laugh. "I'm trying to help you."

He tugs on your arm. His pull isn't harsh, but the unexpectedness of it paired with your buzz makes it enough to throw off your balance. Your freehand presses against the mattress in an attempt to stabilize yourself. Felix laughs, tugging on you again.

Fighting your own fit of giggles, you instinctually push yourself onto your knees in an attempt to regain some control. Felix gives you a second to find your footing. You gently pull his hand off of your forearm and set it on his lap. He frowns.

You extend your arms, placing your hands on his shoulders. Part of the reason for it is to help keep you stable, the rest of it is to keep him focused. He looks up at you, eyes pools of hesitant affection. "Stay still."

He lets you reach for his shirt. "Y'don't have to, I'm okay."

Shrugging, you continue to work at unclasping his buttons. "It's okay, I like helping you."

You unbutton the few buttons that are left. "Better?" Felix nods. "I'll get you a pajama shirt."

Before you can get far, Felix grabs your hand. "We're..." He focuses on bending and straightening your fingers. "Good, right?"

There's something soft about the question, almost shy. "Yeah." He turns over your palm, tracing the lines etched into your skin. "Of course we're good." You adjust, crossing your legs beneath you to sit down.

"Honestly, I was thinking about it, and part of the reason I was upset is because..." This is harder to admit than you thought it'd be. "You seemed really okay without me, and that--I don't know. It's dumb, because I really do want you to be happy, but it made me feel a little replaceable, I guess."

"What?"

You sigh, dropping your attention to your intertwined hands. "I know, I said it was dumb." You pause, eyes darting up to look at him. His expression isn't judgmental or like he needs space. You can't fully read his expression, but nothing about the way he's looking at you feels unkind. "I only mentioned it to be honest, I don't like the idea of keeping se--"

He pulls on your arm again, this time his hold a little firmer. You're closer now. Felix's other hand finds your hip, anchoring you in place. You're too confused to do anything but blink at him.

Felix lets go of your arm, fingers finding their way beneath your chin. He angles your head so that all of your attention is on him. Your lips part, a half thought out question is on the tip of your tongue when Felix leans towards you. His lips meet yours.

You're still, shock and something a lot more electric rendering you in capable of anything else. This isn't the first time Felix has pressed his lips against yours. He's affectionate, especially when drinking is involved. He'll brush his lips against yours after taking a shot together, or just because at the end of a long night. It's not an everyday thing, but it's happened from time to time.

This--this isn't that. He's lingering, lips parting so that his teeth can graze against your bottom lip. Felix pulls away just enough to look you in the eye. His thumb brushes across your cheek.

"You're my best friend." Felix's words are so urging, so pleading you nod before you can think. "Best mate. You're the--the only one that gets me. Really gets me." His hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you back to him.

Any sense of hesitance vanishes the second time he kisses you. He's all consuming, lips dragging against yours with a desperate patience that's dizzying. It's disorientating, the desire to be that much closer to someone when there's no way to get there.

Felix's hand finds your back. He pushes you towards him. There's no good way to oblige. You try anyway, shifting your weight back onto your knees. Felix pulls you forward by your waist. You're too focused on him to realize what's happening until you're on his lap.

He takes his time letting you go, teeth tugging on your bottom lip. "I trust you more than anyone." Felix leans back in, placing a quick kiss against your lips. "You're not replaceable." He squeezes your shoulder. "You know that, right?"

Still breathless, you nod. He's watching you with so much patience, so much care it's almost hard to bare.

His thumb smooths circles against your shoulder. "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

You lift his hand off your thigh to press a kiss against the back of his palm. "Yeah, lets go to bed."

He squeezes your shoulder once before letting you go. You move off of his lap carefully.

Felix sits up enough to push his shirt off of his shoulders. Your eyes instinctually fall to his sheets. "Do you want me to get you a shirt?"

"Why? Distracted?"

You roll your eyes in an attempt to the fact that you are struggling to look at him. "Shut up."

He grins as he pulls back his sheets. "M'okay." You take the opportunity to slip beneath the layers of fabric. Felix waits until you're settled to crawl beneath the sheets. "It's warm enough, even with you stealing my blankets."

"I do not," the sentence is more of a mock gasp than anything else. Felix shifts onto his side before collapsing his weight on you. "Felix."

"What?" He rests his cheek against your chest. "This is the only way to keep you from taking my sheets."

You sigh, feigning annoyance as your fingers find his hair. "Rude. I'm a great bed sharer."

Felix lets out a partial laugh against the side of your neck. His hand finds your hip. "You are pretty great."

Your hand trails down towards his back, nails grazing against the bare skin. "You are, too."

Silence stretches between the two of you for so long you assume that he's already fallen asleep. Felix has a talent for drifting off in the blink of an eye.

"Lovie?" He whispers the term so lowly you almost convince yourself the sound is a figment of your imagination.

"Yeah?"

You can feel the shift in his breathing. "It's you and me--just you and me, when it comes down to it." His thumb brushes up and down your side. "You know that."

He relaxes as your fingers trail down the start of his spine. "Yeah. Of course I know that." A part of you feels naive for believing his words so easily. He's too adored to just be your Felix at the end of the day, and yet-- "Just you and me."

Felix leaves an open mouthed kiss against collarbone. It's the kind of warm that leaves goosebumps breaking out everywhere the contact can't be felt. "Good."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny

[inkpotsprite]

I came up with this AU a while back - probably a few months after I stumbled into this fandom - and it's been bouncing around in my head for a while. (Excuse the scatterbrained nature of this post, I'm just writing my thoughts as they come)

Tim Drake meets Peter Pan (OUAT edition)

I mean, he's the perfect candidate for a lost boy. Neglected, lonely and will probably become scarily loyal to the first person who offers him a way out of that. Not to mention, he's smart, has loose morals (I mean, he did stalk and blackmail Batman) and can be a little ruthless at times, he'd be Peter's right hand man in no time.

So, he lives as a lost boy for a while, but finds Peter's ways of doing things too dark or cruel and, being the baby genius he is, escaped from Neverland, back to Gotham.

But also, we could combine this concept with the Tim joins the family early trope. Like, he goes to Neverland a couple of times, but also starts connecting with the Waynes, so that could be part of the reason he's able to let go of that loyalty to Peter, because he's got something better waiting for him. He never tells the Wayne's about his time in Neverland, worrying that they'll see him differently due to the morally grey things he did there as Peter's right hand man. Tim deals with quite a bit of imposter syndrome and insecurity, but ultimately, he's more happy than not.

Then, a few years later, Damian comes in and is all, well, Damian about things which makes things take a bad turn for Tim. The family is bad at balance/communication and Tim "Abandonment Issues" Drake is a very unreliable narrator at times, so it's angst galore. Then Peter turns up again.

Tim goes with him to Neverland, this time with the intention of staying forever.

Or, we could go another route and look into Damian, a kid whose whole life had been uprooted as he's sent to live with a father he's never met and with a family with vastly different dynamics to what he's used to. He's not neglected, but he's certainly lonely. Especially when being held up to expectations and moral standards that he finds impossible to comprehend after being raised by Talia and Ra's.

So Peter comes back, but he takes Damian instead, as a way to lure Tim back to Neverland. And, even if he doesn't like Damian much right now, of course Tim will go after him because that's his little brother and no way in hell is he letting Peter take him.

We could even sprinkle in a little backstory about Peter knowing Bruce from when Bruce was a kid, after his parents died. Now, two of Bruce's sons are missing and he has to find a way to Neverland.

That's where Jason comes in. Jason Todd, the ultimate lost boy who never was. Not for lack of trying. Peter's shadow swooped down to get him when he was living on the streets, but Jay isn't some naive kid, he's a Gothamite, a Crime Alley kid and he knows that if someone - even that someone is a creepy shadow person - grabs you and tries to get you to a secondary location, you fucking fight it with all you have. So, Jason never makes it to Neverland. Instead, he fights so hard that the shadow drops him, right onto Captain Hook - Killian Jones' - ship. They bond, Killian teaches Jason the ropes, but Jason ultimately decides to go back to Gotham for whatever reason (maybe Killian messes up or Jason's trust issues get the better of him) and he leaves.

We could also play around with parallels between Bruce and Peter. Both taking in lost, lonely kids that no one else wants, having them fight battles, Peter could even hit Bruce with that 'at least my boys will never die' as if forcing them to live forever in eternal stagnation is so much better.

While in Neverland together, Tim and Damian start to bond over their feelings of never truly belonging anywhere. That they'll be forever defined by what they did over who they are. As they grow closer, Tim reassures Damian that he will always belong with him, to give him the chance to prove it.

Meanwhile, Bruce, Dick and Jason are on their way to Neverland. And Peter is ready to start playing the game.

... And that's all I've got so far.

[ruushes]

i don't think it would've worked for the game but as a narrative concept it would be fun to think abt veilguard with harding as the protagonist. like it's just her and varric and then suddenly it's just her, the leader now after being the scout for so long, straining her reflex to people please trying to balance a team full of very different and frequently conflicting (in my beautiful mind creation if not in the actual game) personalities, dealing with her new powers and the anger and hurt she now feels but doesn't understand, having dreams for the first time and solas is in some of them (horrible)

then something something the personifiction of the titans' rage facing down those responsible for their suffering and figuring out how to live in the wake of it all...!

[ukiyowi]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈

Note: These are my observations if it doesn't resonate scroll xx

Masterlist || Tip 🍯

𐂲 I've recently noticed, whatever sign your mars is in and whichever body part that sign rules, can often result in getting accidentally hurt or random in that part. (Example, Mars in gemini = getting hurt on arms/hands, in Capricorn = scalp/knees/teeth, in Aries = head/sometimes cheekbones, etc)

𐂲 One thing I've noticed about Virgo risings is how much they underestimate themselves, they also usually have trouble with anxiety and overthinking

𐂲 Mystic rectangles give a lot of balance to a person but it can also come with multiple internal hardships and conflicts (in forms of insomnia or mental illnesses) and they often need external help to reach their full potential

𐂲 Pluto - Neptune hard aspects especially squares bring into consideration the back and forth between transformation versus illusion, what I mean by that is they have trouble distinguishing patterns in their cycles and may think they're imagining changes rather than believing that it's real (I hope this makes sense I've been trying to word it for the past 5 mins)

𐂲 I know we talk a lot about Leo Risings having great hair but imo Pisces rising have such luscious hair, like they have sm volume and shine to them?? They also look like a waterfall, just flowing, it's so pretty <//3

𐂲 Saturn in 4th/5th/11th house can overshare on the internet about everything going on with their lives

𐂲 Pluto in 6th house feel powerful only when they're working, so they never stop and even when they feel burnt out, they feel their sense of self and self worth is only tied to what they can give, therefore they may face guilt when they try to rest.

𐂲 This is simply a personal observation/theory but I have noticed that people who have a lot of degrees that are higher in number like 20+ often feel more comfortable with people older than them especially if those degrees sit in Pluto or Saturn

𐂲 I've noticed Aries mercuries also have very heavy footsteps, you can hear the thump 😭

𐂲 12th house Pluto are their own best friend and worst enemy, they may enable bad habits for others and justify the same for themselves, HOWEVER once the natives know how to harness the power of Pluto and understand it better, they can be really influential because a lot of people may be subconsciously attracted to the power they possess.

𐂲 Can we talk about Leo risings and how good their self concept is? Like... Please teach me tysm

𐂲 LIBRA PLACEMENTS IN GENERAL HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME WITH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES I'LL CRY- I have a friend with Libra venus and she can never say no to someone especially if she starts liking them :// and it's so hard to see ppl just take advantage of her, I also have friends and relatives with Libra in the big 3 and not only are they complete givers, they also have such a hard time taking, they feel guilty.

✓✓✓ Going to be mean to some of my placements/aspects now

𐂲 Venus conjunct Mars are so fucking clingy but ALSO so flighty🤨🤨choose ??? Do you want to be in this relationship (platonic/romantic) or do you not, stop being so hot and cold (it may help if I tell you both of these are in gemini for me)

𐂲 Chiron - moon placements have mommy issues or wounds related to their mothers/maternal figures in their lives

𐂲 Jupiter virgos can be such doormats at times, just because you want to help people doesn't mean you keep emptying your cup to fill others'.

𐂲 Mercury in 1st have their self worth TIED to their intelligence, like stop flaunting your knowledge, low-key looks insecure.

𐂲 Jupiter opposition Uranus has such rebel without a cause energy, what are you going to "rebel" against now, please sit down for a second

𐂲 Mars Square Ascendant, people with this aspect are always ready to fight, feel like everything is a personal attack, and are terrible at being alone

✓✓✓ Back to your regularly scheduled programme

𐂲 Something I've wanted to say to each stellium I've met so far:

𐂲 Aries: You have a lot of life in you, hand some over🤲🤲🤲, seriously though you guys look at everything with such wonder and curiosity, you're also kinda impatient but that's fine with me :")

𐂲 Sagittarius: You're so cool, I want to be like you, introspective, self aware, your humour is a little concerning at times but you teach me so much all the time, you're the guide I've always wished for

𐂲 Leo: You're a born entertainer and at times I can be a bit envious because of how bright you shine, leaving me in the shadows, but I love you and your love for life regardless, you're a star

𐂲 Gemini: You are so stealthy in everything you do, sometimes you slip through the cracks, a trickster (affectionate), I love how you can be mischievous one second and completely serious the next

𐂲 2nd house: You're just so understanding and make me feel like home, it's like you are home personified, very warm and comforting, also so abundant in everything it's crazy

𐂲 8th house: Stop making me talk about my feelings I'll cry >:(( no but seriously, you guys have something about you that just makes people face what they're avoiding, and you are so good at empathising with them.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Can a request more about Felix dominant side? I thinks he hides a lot of potential to be a Dom, he would be perfect for for a late bloomer, he seems very warm,but also controlling if he wants to

🥺

𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹 𝘓𝘦𝘦 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘋𝘰𝘮 𝘌𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘺:

I feel like my warnings are getting so repetitive but I gotta include it in every post.

I'm using astrology so nothing I say is accurate or confirmed- it's completely theoretical.

Anyway- let's go!!

Out of the members of Stray Kids- I would honestly say Felix isn't one of the best members for a late bloomer relationship BECAUSE of his overthinking tendencies with all his Virgo placements.

He might tend to think TOO hard about being such a good boyfriend and giving you the best late bloomer experience that he'll probably forget to just live in the moment.

His Aries Moon also indicates impatience and he might want to try too many things too quickly and it might get overwhelming.

One of the best traits of having a Libra Venus is they value equality in the relationship and Felix might feel like he has TOO much power in the relationship with his experience and you're lack of experience.

But to end this on a positive level, I think no matter what...Felix is going to try his absolute best to be the best ever 'first ever' boyfriend for you.

Now for his dom energy- yes while I think Felix is one of the more 'submissive' members of Stray Kids- I don't think he's 90% submissive and he's more of a balanced switch than what people realise.

This will be shorter than Ateez readings b/c I don't have Felix's Rising Sign so I can't analyse his house placements but his Aries Moon/Leo Mars are great placements to indicate he has 'dom' energy.

I feel his dominant energy would come out when he's pushed hard enough-like if he's jealous of somebody flirting with you or his masculinity feels challenged in a way.

His voice will get deeper, his eyes will darken and become more stern and his grip against you might be more tight.

'I'm not worried about you getting attention sweetie, I'm worried about the way he looks at you'.

I've seen him on-stage and when he's performing- he has a very powerful and 'manly' energy which juxtaposes against the 'fairy' concept he's confined to with group dynamics.

Both Felix Lee and Han Jisung have a Leo Mars and men with a Leo Mars typically love heated-in the moment type of sex and are visual people.

And yeah- as a dom with a Libra Mercury...you best believe he'll talk you through it.

Would watch you put mascara on in the mirror and then he'll randomly think about how pretty you'd look with his cock in your mouth and mascara running down your cheeks.

'You look so pretty as you gag on my cock sweetheart, want to paint your face and see your mouth covered in me'.

Lipstick smeared, stockings ripped, bra straps falling, buttons torn are some of the things he'd find so sexy- having a Leo Mars means he can be quite primal in the bedroom.

But it would take him a lot of teasing or jealousy to get to that unhinged level of dominance- and it would take A LOT of time (and rounds) for him to break out of it.

It's why I love Felix with black hair SAUR MUCH!!! because I think it brings out his dominant energy and doesn't confine him to 'baby subby pixie Felix' persona.

I also just want to appreciate the Taste fancam and this performance b/c I think this fit and song was the key for Felix stans to think-

Oh shit- He could be a dom.

[pink-pkmn-trainer]

ragapom villain au concept bulletpoints

-pomni is an evil little inventor living in a laboratory in the middle of the city, making robots and machines that constantly explode, and always losing to the town's local superhero in combat. basically just your stereotypical kid's cartoon villainess.

-ragatha is slowly working in secret, creating a doomsday plan that'll leave the city in ashes and rubble. she works in a secret bunker, and modified a bunch of abandoned dolls and plushes she found with tech parts so they could work as her loyal minions. the reason? for her whole life, ragatha has been there for the people around her, even in the worst times of their lives, but when she got caught up in a horrible tragedy that left her life hanging in the balance, no one was there to help or even comfort her. she lived, and now she plans to take revenge on the entire city, and make them feel the pain she felt.

-ragatha comes across pomni in the aftermath of yet another loss to the town's local hero. although pomni can't even invent a working robot to save her life, ragatha sees promise and value in the little jester, and takes her under her wing.

-pomni is immediately ecstatic. not only is ragatha the coolest and most brilliant villainess she's ever met, but she's also completely and utterly gorgeous.... (i know what you are pomni)

-ragatha of course knows that having pomni help her make the doomsday device will only end in disaster, and not the kind of disaster she's hoping for. so instead she has pomni continue to pick fights with the town superhero as a distraction, while she gathers the necessary tools and resources, plants cameras and microphones in all the important offices and such, etc.

-she has to admit, she's a bit endeared by how pomni will light up and immediately reply "yes ma'am, right away!" to any instruction she gives her. but she knows that the moment shit hits the fan, that jester is going to leave her for dead, just like everyone else...

-then something goes wrong. maybe pomni tries to help with the tech stuff and causes an explosion, hell, maybe ragatha actually messes up for once. regardless, ragatha is convinced that pomni is going to run away and leave her all on her own, just like her friends did in the past...

-but she doesn't.

-pomni knows what it's like to be down on your luck, maybe a little too well. things are always going wrong for her; the last thing she would want is to be all alone to face that. so she stays by ragatha's side and helps her get back up on her feet.

-ragatha is shocked, and, in all honestly, very thankful. she realizes that pomni is in this doomsday plan for the long run, no matter what obstacles stand in the way. it's actually starting to make a bit of sense, this evil little jester has had her plans foiled and her inventions destroyed countless times, but she always bounces back for another try. pomni may not have a lot going for her, but she's determined. determined to win, and determined to see this city's downfall through.

-and ragatha can't help but admire that...

[sly-s-n0nfusion]

The ot2 travelers don't feel like a found family as much as the ot1 travelers - an analysis

This is probably the boldest opinion I've ever shared on socials for this fandom and I am aware this take will probably get me some hate but I feel like I want to say this and compare the two games under this aspect also to know other people's opinions about this (I feel so brave right now) but I have to make a premise: I loved octopath traveler 2 to death as well as the ot2 travelers, this is not a hate post by any means. Also, the fact that the first game is still more dear to me doesn't make me blind to the fact that ot2 did improve its formula under almost every aspect and is overall of better quality than ot1.

So as I was playing ot2, I felt like it was somehow “missing” the same warmth of the first game. Naturally, my first thought was that it was just nostalgia for the first cast, until my boyfriend said the exact same thing to me some time after he started playing ot2. When I asked about it in a small octopath server, almost every response I got was similar to what we were feeling, and many of us pinpointed that the main reason is that the cast doesn't feel as a found family as much as the ot1 cast did, and I'll explain why.

/!\ Spoilers for both games! /!\

The group of travelers in ot2 doesn't feel as cohesive: on the contrary, it often feels like the travelers aren't involved in their friend's adventures as much. They often come off as a bit more individualistic and just casually sharing the same road together while pursuing their own goals. In their banters together, they rarely offer/actively seek each other's help and they generally feel more lonely in their paths

This is kinda ironic given how much more content together the ot2 travelers have, like the crossed paths or the journey for the dawn chapter. The one exception, at least regarding the crossed paths stories, are probably Throné and Temenos

The found family trope is more often than not shoved down your throat in a way that's just less effective and more annoying ex. Ochette calling Osvald and Castti mama and papa (or the general imagery of every traveler seeing Castti as their mom when she is just doing her job as a caregiver) or Osvald getting drunk and mistaking Castti and Agnea for his wife and daughter, when Osvald often shows fatherly instincts only towards his actual daughter Elena

The major issue we all agreed on: the travel banters. The main difference is that in ot1 every travelers had a chance to talk to all 7 travelers during each chapter of their story, which actually gave the impression of them traveling together and also the opportunity for a good balance between more lighthearted banters about disparate matters, and deeper banters that explicitly address what's going on in that moment. In ot2 we had the amazing opportunity to reread every banter without missing even one of them, but the amount of banters drastically reduced! Which left me kinda confused!! Because for every chapter, only a few travelers get to talk with the one progressing through a chapter. And that leaves place for an awkward silence on the other travelers' behalf, because it does almost deliver the vibe that they're just observing quietly, or that they don't care enough about what's happening to intervene. That silence takes a big toll on how believably the concept of found family is delivered, in my opinion. We don't really need 70% of the banters to be about card games, fashion, hobbies and food (why are there so many banters about food lol) when the actually deep/important matters barely get addressed by the other travelers.

An example: the apothecaries' chapters 3. They both are very emotionally heavy chapters, where both Alfyn and Castti are having a really rough time. Having the chance to talk to all 7 of his friends, Alfyn not only gets to talk about his job as an apothecary and joke with Therion about getting drunk at the tavern, but he also receives important advice and active help from his teammates. Like Olberic, for example, you can almost picture him holding Alfyn's shoulder in the attempt of getting him to calm down

Whereas in Castti's chapter 3, she goes through one of the most painful and heartbreaking moments of her life (remembering what happened to Malaya and the Apothecaries) and barely anyone comforts her. You only get Temenos saying "you can count of me" and Hikari, saying more or less the same thing. No Osvald talking to her about dealing with the grief of losing everything?? No Agnea and Partitio reassuring her, telling her she did what she could and that it was not her fault?? No Throné sharing with her the relief of freedom, of finally being free from her amnesia?? ... That does feel like a huge missed opportuniy and really makes it look like the other 5 travelers are just observing in silence, and that really ruins the immersion to me. They do feel more lonely and less of a family, no matter how many times Ochette calls her "mom" , she wasn't there for Castti when she needed it. She didn't say anything. The effort made by their crossed paths story isn’t enough to make up for it to me

Not only that, but ot1 is full of other examples of the travelers actively seeking each other's help: Olberic is constantly asking for his teammates' opinions because he trusts them (Olberic ch4, Cyrus banter) and offering his protection in return, Tressa and Therion often value each other's advice, and many other cases.

Final point: this is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but I couldn't help but feel my opinion reinforced by the promoting team's choices; in every piece of art for the first Octopath Traveler game anniversary, all 8 travelers were featured. As they should be! OCTO is in the name, after all. None of them is more important than the others, and it's crucial to me that in their anniversary art they ALL get featured. Well, for the first anniversary of the Octopath Traveler 2 release the official promotional art only featured Temenos and Crick. One (1) traveler and a npc. Well done, that's how you don't want to celebrate your game's 1 year anniversary when the main feature of the game in question is that it's a collective story that features 8 characters. Yes I am not blind I am aware of Temenos and Crick's popularity as both individual characters and as a ship (which by the way I am very neutral about so again, no hate), but my god that official art did leave a bitter taste in my mouth as soon as I saw it. Like really? What about the other 7 travelers? Aren't they supposed to be a found family?

So in the end I think the missing travel banters are what makes the ot2 crew feel a bit more distant and less of a family to me, and the crossed paths and Journey for the dawn really, really struggle to make up for this because the basics of the relationship between the travelers just aren’t quite there.

Now I know this game is dear to many, me included, and that many others may have the complete opposite opinion, and that's okay. We can talk about it! I love hearing different opinions.

Peace! ✌️

[ectoentity]

Ectoplasm Gives You Wings 0.?

Hey here's a scene that happened long before Danny showed up have fun

Here is the subscription post

Need to know concept:

When you're in a world where wings are associated with ghosts, you're gonna assume that coming back from the dead with wings means you have some unfinished business. Harley Quinn POV.

Ever since Joker died, Harley expected his killer would come after her. She hadn't been with him for a couple years, but that hardly made up for the shit she'd done while they were together. Really the only surprise was that they hadn’t killed her first as a warning to him.

So when she walked into her apartment kitchen to see a guy with huge wings wearing a red helmet, Harley wasn’t terribly surprised. Not about the break-in or the gun pointed at her, at least.

"How'd'ya manage to fit those things in here?" she asked. The guy didn't answer. The wings flexed like he wanted to open them, but there wasn't any room.

"Harley," the Red Hood said, sounding very intimidating with some kind of voice modulation. "You know why I’m here."

"I can make a guess, big guy," Harley said sadly. "Nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"You let it happen. You helped him. Why should you escape justice?"

"I did my time for most of it. And I spent the last couple a years trying to put him in the ground. That doesn't fit into your equation somehow?" She tried edging slowly to a shelf where she had a gun of her own. Red Hood noticed. He stepped forward and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Did any of that bring back the innocent people you killed? The children you tortured?"

"Woah, woah, woah, time out. I never did anything like that to kids." Harley held her hands up in a T shape above Red Hood's fist. "I did some awful stuff I ain't proud of, but I never tortured kids."

"You didn't seem to care that he did."

Harley sighed and lowered her hands onto Red Hood's arm and tried to look into the eyes of his weird helmet. "What do you expect to happen here? You want me to beg until you feel satisfied? Sorry, buddy. Not really my style! I don't like a lotta what I did back then, but I can't fix it. I'm trying better now. If that's not good enough for ya, that's too bad."

The Red Hood didn't move for a moment. It was kind of creepy, if Harley was honest. He didn't say anything, he didn't twitch. Was the guy even breathing? It was always hard to talk to someone in a full face mask. There was no way to tell whether they were even listening. Contrary to popular belief, Harley didn't talk just to hear her own voice! Not often, at least.

The hand let go of her shirt. Harley pulled back to regain her balance, but she didn't relax just yet. There was still a big murderous birdman with a gun in her apartment. Even if he wasn't about to shoot her just now, he was still dangerous.

"Fucking hell," the guy said. He seemed to stagger backwards until one of his wings clipped the half-wall separating the kitchen from the living room. Then he leaned against the pillar heavily.

"Shit. You're right. This is pointless. Why am I here?"

Harley took her chance to grab her gun just in case, but Red Hood didn't seem to notice. She stared at him with suspicious, narrowed eyes. "Do you mean here in my apartment, or are you really having an existential crisis right now?"

"I'm not having a- Fuck. I guess I am." He held his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Harls."

Well, that was an unusual nickname. It wasn't something she heard much outside of kids from the Bowery or Narrows. Most other kids in Gotham got swept up by their parents before they could talk to her.

"You lose somebody?" she asked softly, gun tucked in her pocket. "Sibling? A kid?"

Red Hood choked out a bitter laugh. "Myself." When Harley's eyebrows did a wild semaphore of emotion, the asshole deigned to explain. "He killed me. I... I came back. Figured, y'know, I must've been brought back for a reason, right?" He sunk down further against the pillar, the white tips of his mostly-black wings spreading across the floor like the fabric of a cape.

Damn, Harley thought. That made a fucked up amount of sense. "I can't really blame you for thinking that," she admitted. "The feathers a new fashion choice then?"

"You could say that. Shit." Red Hood reached up to the bottom of his helmet and depressed some trigger there. Harley heard a hiss of pressurization before it popped off the guy's head. The first thing she saw was black hair. That wasn't surprising. The surprising thing was when he leaned his head back against the pillar, revealing a young face and a shock of white hair in his bangs. Then he opened his eyes, and they were as blue as the sky.

"Hey kid? What did you say your name was?"

He took a devastatingly long time to respond.

"They called me Robin, once."

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: best months for weddings and potential issues that could arise

ever wonder why may is such a popular month for marriage? why you rarely see people who marry in september staying together? the date you select for your special day matters according to the matrix! in honor of my best friend getting engaged, i will be a little more focused on love and romance posts than you typically would see from me. reminder the post is focused on the WEDDING EVENT MONTH (this is the highest outcome - but the energy can be out of balance which is why i am including negatives (which usually are part of the karmic tail)). in order to see future dates, use gollov's site and the "personal" calculator!

january (1 - the magician)

positive: couple is capable of making the life you really desire together come to fruition.

negative: might be an elopement that goes south (shotgun wedding or an annulment is needed). getting stood up at the altar vibes.

february (2 - the high priestess)

positive: having a very deep connection long term - that goes way beyond topical concepts.

negative: a big secret comes out and ruins the day and/or a scandal occurs.

march (3 - the empress)

positive: a very fruitful relationship, a loving partnership, likely to create a large family when the union occurs.

negative: MOB or MOG makes the wedding all about her and is overbearing about the event.

april (4 - the emperor)

positive: a very stable relationship where both partners are protective of one another

negative: FOB or FOG might be a buzz kill or has a tangible dislike of someone in their new married family.

may (5 - the hierophant)

positive: makes for a committed and traditional relationship.

negative: there are likely a few guests who are all on their own and/or there might be a few people how have known beef with one another. maybe the bride doesn't like one of the groomsmen or the groom doesn't like one of his bride's guests...

june (6 - the lover)

positive: having a marriage full of love and partnership; makes a soulmate tie.

negative: someone could interrupt the ceremony by opposing the officiant because they can't "forever hold their peace". otherwise, there might be doubt or drama surrounding the coupling.

july (7 - the chariot)

positive: might have had a lot of relationships obstacles to get to the point of marriage, but the determination to be together and stay together makes for a lasting/enduring relationship

negative: there could be a car accident or break down that slows down or ruins the day

august (8 - strength)

positive: resilience is what holds the coupling together along with understanding and compassion for one another

negative: a physical fight may occur among the wedding party or the guests.

september (9 - the hermit)

positive: this is likely to be a small/private ceremony. the couple is on a spiritual journey with one another and they know it.

negative: cold feet might occur regarding marriage - could be left at the altar. there is also a greater likelihood of divorce with this energy as the hermit is on a SOLO journey.

october (10 - the wheel of fortune)

positive: marriage is part of this couple's destiny, but so are the inevitable ups and downs within the relationship.

negative: something unpredictable is likely to occur/happen that can ruin the event itself.

november (11 - justice)

positive: there is likely a prenuptial agreement in place or this might be organized and arranged by the parents of the couple which speaks for the relationship long term...

negative: another high stakes month in terms of staying together - legal matters are part of this marriage (divorce is likely). or someone may have a legitimate reason to object the marriage.

december (12 - the hanged man)

positive: the couple is prepared to let go of the past and enter a life long marriage with an open mind.

negative: someone in the partnership is likely to feel trapped in the relationship - growing to resent one another is pretty common with this month given the theme.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next. if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[chosetherose]

Two Graves One Gun

So Long London continues the saga of celebrity versus soul. The only way to cure Taylor’s sadness is for her to bid farewell to bearding, and perhaps the closet.

If you can look past the red herrings in this song, you will find a deeply layered masterpiece that illuminates Taylor's battle with herself; how past plans made to maintain her celebrity have marred her soul. She doesn't want to live life like this anymore and is willing to burn her brand down to the ground to free her soul.

As always, the analysis I've written here is only one interpretation of this song. I'm not claiming it is "correct" but I encourage you to plow through (this is a very long post) and consider what I've laid out.

For context, I believe London is a metaphor for bearding. Here is some background for the new folks:

For most of her career, Taylor’s beards have been from the UK. Specifically, from 2012-2023 her beards were Harry Styles then Calvin Harris then Tom Hiddleston then Joe Alwyn.

The beginning of this stage was right around the time she started crossing over into pop music. Red is her first real leap into pop music and to do this successfully she needs to expand both domestically (to pop audiences that don't listen to country music) and internationally (her first opportunity for this since the rest of the world doesn't listen to much country music).

She started bearding with Harry Styles in late 2012, within weeks of Red's release then milks that short lived stunt for 1989 as well. What a way to capture a new pop audience made up of fans abroad and at home. Rinse and repeat until her priority changes to long-term privacy and she finds that aided by an unknown actor named Toe. Even though Taylor's current beard is American, suffice to say one can look at London as a metaphor for bearding given history.

[Intro]

So (So) long (Long), London (London) [repeated]

Pay attention to how she sings this...She breaks "London" into "Lon" and "Don".

So SO / Long LONG / Lon LON / Don DON

This is a sneakily beautiful way to emphasize: So! Long! Don(e)! ...Like "I've been bearding for so long and I'm done with it" or "So long, bearding! I'm done!" Yes, this is a reach but read the rest of this post and circle back. As this intro closes the final "Don(e)!" fades into the upticked beat.

[Verse 1]

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

I stopped trying to make him laugh, stopped trying to drill the safe

Taylor seeing fairy lights through the mist sounds like she sees daylight at the end of a tunnel opaque from lavender haze. She keeps focused on this goal, carrying on with all these beards over the years. Although she's able to appear calm during these stunts, living life like this has forged a rift within herself. She beards because it's advantageous for her brand but her soul despises the ruse.

Side note: “Keep Calm and Carry On was a motivational poster produced by the Government of the United Kingdom in 1939 in preparation for World War II.” -Wikipedia. A bit of history that I think furthers the idea that Taylor was battling to keep going.

Tayor has to balance these aspects of herself continually - Too much stunting? Her soul needs a break. Had a good break from stunting? She needs to feed the grocery line Swifties to keep them at bay. It's an idea that got me thinking about yin and yang, "an opposite but interconnected, self-perpetuating cycle." (Wiki). I am not an expert on this concept but I know I've noticed it has come up throughout conversations about TTPD. If yin and yang is relevant for this album, as I believe it is in multiple songs, in the context of this verse it feels related to Taylor's constant need to find balance between the celebrity version of herself we see on our screens and the true version of herself only she can see in the mirror.

This cycle wears on Taylor so much that her spine splits from the weight. She has been slogging through stunts, dreaming of freedom, for years. It's been storming so long her clothes are soaked and she feels the chill down in her bones.

Because of the pain she decides to change strategy. Theres no more attempts to make her situation lighter or find ways to deal with it. And think about this - if you're trying to drill the safe open it means either A) you feel like you've tried all the codes and are resorting to brute force, and/or B) you're running out of time and growing desperate. Taylor is past even those points and is giving up entirely.

[Chorus]

Thinking how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

Oh, the tragedy

So long, London

You’ll find someone

The chorus reminds me of talking to a past version of yourself that made plans for a future you. We know Taylor must plan her life years in advance so perhaps she is asking her past self something like, “Why did you think I could handle continued bearding? Did you really think I could handle all the sadness I'm feeling today?”

Then I think the second half of this chorus is saying goodbye to bearding, symbolized by London, because she can’t bear the sadness anymore. Maybe the "you'll find someone" line is aimed at the fans a la "you should find another guiding light" like you guys will find someone else to fawn over in the tabloids.

Side note: I love the double entendre here. Because so long means goodbye but it has also been so long that she’s been bearding (largely with British men).

[Verse 2]

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out

I founded the club she's heard great things about

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath

I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use

The spirit was gone, we would never come to

And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

I don't have a strong opinion on the first two lines of this version. What comes to mind is she didn't opt in to be an openly LGBTQIA+ artist, she chose to closet and beard. Then other younger closeted celebrities have looked to her as a blueprint.

In the process of bearding for stardom, her soul abandoned all she knew. I think there is a red herring here as Heath could reference Hampstead Heath (which has connections to Toe) but it’s also continuing on the house theme that Taylor sings about. Here, it doesn’t sound like this house is a home. She’s not singing about chandeliers flickering inside, it’s “the” house by a heath -- “Heathland is characterized by plants such as heather, bilberry, gorse and bracken, which occur on infertile and well-drained soils. Open heaths have been highly modified by humans for centuries and are maintained by grazing or cutting.” She’s stuck somewhere that’s by drained her via death by a thousand cuts lol.

Again, it's weighed on her. So she's decided to stop trying to revive the disconnect between her soul and her celebrity, it’s no use trying anymore. She’s realized they could never fully come together.

And she’s pissed off she let her celebrity rob her of an open, free, youth where she could live truthfully. Recall that in Peace she sings, “a coming of age has come and gone” which to me means she feels she can’t explain a coming out via a youthful awakening angle. She’s at the age where people will understand she’s known this for years but hasn’t shared with the world. This will raise questions she won’t be able to answer because it’s all too tangled (NDAs, outing beards, etc.).

[Chorus]

For so long, London/ Stitches undone

Two graves, one gun

I'll find someone

For so long, she’s been bearding, stunting, hiding her true self to reach and/or maintain celebrity. It’s caused her stitches to come undone. This wording is interesting because it implies she had a wound from living this life hiding her truth, they tried to fix her up as her celebrity status soared, but it didn’t work because the sadness was too great.

Perhaps there's two graves and one gun because on the path to daylight she will kill both her celebrity and the sadness of her closeted self. Not how she switches from "you" will find someone to "I" will find someone. This is because she will destroy every version of herself that she's ever known if she comes out one day. She will rise like a Phoenix through the ashes to discover a new version of herself in the daylight.

Note that the Spotify clip for this song, from the Fortnight video, feels significant. First, Taylor looks up toward the daylight. Then, with heavy breaths and a concerned face, she rifles through her art (words written out on a typewriter). We know in the rest of this scene she is lighting her art on fire. Two graves one gun on a path to daylight.

[Bridge Part 1]

And you say I abandoned the ship

But I was going down with it

My white-knuckle dying grip

Holding tight to your quiet resentment

I imagine these first lines of the bridge to be aimed toward those in her life, on her team, etc. that steered her toward closeting to gain/keep fame. Maybe she has plans and they are saying by coming out she is abandoning the ship (her celebrity) they've all worked hard to build. In Miss Americana we heard her team tell her that coming out as a Democrat would halve the numbers of her next tour. Can you imagine what would be said about a coming out?

But what they don’t understand is that living this life is killing her. She’s been holding on to all the subtle ways they’ve told her over the years that her career will sink if she comes out of the closet.

[Bridge Part 2]

And my friends said it isn't right to be scared

Every day of a love affair

Every breath feels like rarest air

When you're not sure if he wants to be there

When she confides with her friends about it all they tell her she shouldn’t be afraid to take steps toward the daylight because look where she is now. She’s been stunting for years (love affairs in the tabloids) and it's awful for her. So terrible that she's grasping for breaths, unsure if she can still survive in this atmosphere (thin/rare air means its not a hospitable environment for Taylor).

[Chorus]

So how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you think I'd go

Before I'd self-implode?

Before I'd have to go be free?

Again, I think she’s talking to her past self here. “How could I have thought I’d survive sinking this low? How could I not realize I’d reach a point where I’d self-implode?” Which here, self-implosion is telling a similar story as I think the two graves one gun lyrics do — the result of the self implosion is being free. If she blows up her celebrity and she will be free to live her truth, curing the sadness that has been ruling her life for years.

[Verse 3]

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

I imagine this verse is aimed at her fans, the grocery line Swifties who believe her beards are real boyfriends. I read “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues?” as a sarcastic jab because she’s been screaming 🌈 for whoever is willing to listen. The fans claim to love Taylor but they aren’t willing to really listen to her.

Most people here “altar” and think of a wedding but the definition is much broader, “In religion, a raised structure or place that is used for sacrifice, worship, or prayer” (Wiki). So Taylor was up on the altar, a place of worship, waiting for clues that these fans actually loved her. But what started as worship became sacrifice as these fans never found love for who Taylor really is all the while the bearding and hiding were causing Taylor deep sadness.

Despite all this, she loves her job and her fans. The sadness is too much though. She is about to self implode and feels its time to take steps toward a brighter future. It’s maddening as hell to metaphorically blow up your life just as your fame is escalating to new heights you’ve reached for your whole career.

[Chorus]

For so long, London (So long, London)

Had a good run A moment of warm sun But I'm not the one So long, London Stitches undone Two graves, one gun You'll find someone

For so long, she bearded. She had a good run, getting away with it all, reaching levels of fame she always dreamed of. But she's not the one to keep the charade going (as opposed to her heroes who unfortunately 'died' closeted). Goodbye, bearding. The wound was too big to fix. With one action, I will kill the version of myself you (the fans) know and the version of myself I know. You (the fans) will find someone else to worship.

...

I could keep tweaking this theory for weeks but these are my initial thoughts on this song about two weeks out from TTPD's release. This album is incredible complex but for me the signs we keep getting are all pointing toward significant change. There is a momentum going right now that I haven't felt since the early Lover era. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I hope our fearless Chairman gets the chance to bask in the sun shiniest daylight. She deserves the warmth.

💕 CTR

[kimeoshi]

hello it's me again! Your biggest fan (LMAO) The one who asked for tips on coloring...

Another question has came up on me while I was coloring (finally aughhh). How do you shade hair? Without it looking unnatural?

Thank you for your help before!!! 😊

Hello and welcome back! I'm glad my previous advice helped! That is a difficult question as I do admit it is a bit challenging to me as well. It is guesswork + studying references, adjusting tid bits until it looks right, my own process relies on a trial and error approach.

Therefore, I suggest you pick some pieces you like where you find the hair gorgeous, and figuring out how the artist does it, or how might they do it, per active learning principles. Try to deduce it. While the following guide can be good for your starting concepts too, it's important to adapt it to your style and preferences. And I even encourage you to go against it, as creativity thrives on experimentation.

That said, I'll guide you through my own thought process, however. (With a quick Ratio sketch, because I really love to shade his hair; fluffy hair is very forgiving.)

Let's start off here (I'll be skipping the black and white part for simplicity's sake from the previous guide. I'll also be using a white environment with a pale overlight):

For highlights, I begin laying down a Glow Dodge layer with a hard brush that doesn't have full opacity, and draw a halo-like shape. After that, I refine the shape by erasing parts of it with a rough eraser to get the desired effect.

Alternative to the Glow Dodge layer, you can use pure white, or other layer types such as Lighten, Screen, Add and Overlay, etc.

In the following pictures, note that I adjust the layer's opacity freely.

Above, I simply blended it a bit to my own liking.

With an airbrush I softly start introducing shadows (Multiply layer, dark purple/blue color).

Then, I start introducing sharper shadows in a separate layer.

You can use a lasso tool for this to map out a jagged like shape which should remind you of mountains. You can blend this out too at certain segments.

(Sidetrack: if you feel like, I suggest reading up on the balance of hard and soft edges in painting, the topic is very interesting and I am still trying to grasp it as well, yet I find it immeasurably useful. This can come in handy upon rendering principles. A very skillful master of it is the artist Yuming Li.)

Furthermore, I add reflections. I've used a Lighten layer with a subtle blue color. As this is subtle, I want to point it out that it appears on the lower parts.

For a final touch, I pick out the skin's color and airbrush, shift the picked color to a more saturated one and apply it near his face/to the bangs, with an airbrush.

For the fundamentals of hair shading I usually wrap it up here and go off to rendering. I use a painterly brush to do this and pay attention to the jagged shape I mentioned earlier. The brush I use is already tilted, so it's easy to manipulate to make such shapes.

Additionally, I experiment with Overlay, Multiply (or any!) layers with either airbrushes or hardbrushes— as I said there isn't a specified way of doing this. Go wild; for such is the nature of hair. Add any shapes or lines you find appealing, introduce new colors from the environment nearby too to make it moredynamic and interesting as well.

EDIT: An addition! On Rendering tips and advice

(apologies on leaving this out initially! I only realized I should include this now )

Including astray curved lines to simulate how hair flows also builds to the hair-like quality. I also prefer to use it closer to the silhouette of my character as it adds further detailing and a fluffier look in the end!

Attempt to render each strand according to this diagram in mind, note the parabole-like(?) shape for the light, and note standard 3d spheric shading for shadows.

[spotaus]

Everyone say hello to DreamEater AU's very own Dream! (And Fresh!) Otherwise known as Tulpa!

This AU is technically a Dream × Fresh ship story, but honestly it could be taken as Platonic because I view them both as aroace kings 👌. (This is alao Extremely self-indulgent lmao-) I'm gonna put more under the cut + close-ups but what is important is:

Dream is badly injured by Dust and ends up in a random AU after a messy retreat from battle. Fresh stumbles across him in need of a new host and attempts to take over Dream. Dream isn't a normal monster though, and he fights the hostile take-over. His soul doesn't decay like a normal monster's when Fresh feeds, so they end up coming to an agreement to share the body while Dream heals.

SO!!!

The DreamEater au comes from an idea I had years ago. Dream is injured, and it leaves him badly paralyzed while he recovers. In the old concept Fresh just nursed him back to health. In the DreamEater AU, Fresh is actively using Dream's unique vessel to his own advantage. It's like finding a body that fits him like a glove, and so he's content to just keep it. Until, of course, Dream becomes conscious again.

Fresh successfully takes Dream's body for a week or so before Dream is lucid again as a soul, and he tries to reason with Fresh to give him back control. He explains what happened and why he needs to get back. Fresh explains that he's going to keep being a parasite and no way he's giving up the perfect body. It's a long back and forth before Fresh relents and let's Dream take control again, only for him to collapse. Dream can't feel anything from his neck down due to where he'd been injured.

Fresh takes over again, and Dream just kinda lingers along with Fresh, staying in the passenger's seat of the body. He is stressed and worried but knows now that it'll take ages for him to heal anyways. By letting Fresh roam he can see the state of the multiverse at least.

And as things go on, the balance keeps tipping. Farther and farther in Night's direction. It's palpable. Then one night Fresh talks with Dream. It's small-talk, but it turns out he thinks Dream's soul will keep going forever if he can be around happy people. Dream explains that without him to do guardian work there are less abd less of those positive people to feed him so Fresh can keep going.

So, Fresh agrees to help Dream return to his duty, but only minimally since he's extremely injured.

Dream returns most of his wardrobe, and Fresh controls his body while Dream directs him and takes over control of his skull. Any weird actions are chalked up to recovering from his injury. Blue and Ink are thrilled to see him again. All is well for a bit, and though Fresh holds Dream back sometimes, he ends up actually being really good for Dream's mental health by not letting him overwork or stress about things he doesn't need to. Dream teaches Fresh how to use a bow, how to fight with a staff, etc. They become... friends? At least while they help eachother. Having Fresh tag along doesn't hurt Dream at all, and Fresh loves his free buffet of Dream.

Blue is the first one to notice Fresh, but he's not actively hurting Dream so he says nothing.

It's hinted when m, during a fight with NM's gang, someone curses and It's censored. Everyone is on edge because many of them don't like Fresh, and the bttle dispurses quickly afterwards.

It's revealed on a day that Dream is ambushed on an errand and Fresh takes forceful control so he can Fresh-Poof out of the way. Dream's Soul is shown in the other eyelight that's normally dark, and Fresh takes full control just to skate around the gang, teasing and evading them. Dream wasn't happy, but he was grateful after the fact. Everyone knew after that, and Dream started to agree that without it being a secret, Fresh could change up the wardrobe.

Eventually Dream heals almost fully. At that point, Fresh tries not to get involved with NM's conflicts. He also swaps in and out of control with Dream seamlessly throughout an average day. They become actual friends, talking over eachother and playfully swapping control. And eventually that becomes an agreed partnership. Ink doesn't approve of having Fresh around all the time, but he's Dream's closest companion besides Blue, so he stays.

Point is, they care a lot about eachother, even when they started out so tense. They keep eachother safe for selfish reasons, and for their bond.