#i hate tourettes

[hydeingpurples]

I've just started my Masters degree at a university that's much bigger and busier than my previous one. I'm really struggling to find somewhere that I feel comfortable studying where I won't disturb other people.

I have Tourette's, I can be very loud, and I deeply fear other people's judgment. I don't want to disturb anyone. I can suppress well, but it isn't comfortable, I just want a space that's quiet where I feel okay and safe and out of people's way.

I just went for a library tour and he showed me around all the spaces, including the assistive technology rooms (single rooms for disabled students, but there's only 4).

He said I'm always welcome at the library and that I shouldn't lock myself away in the single person rooms. I greatly appreciate it, so much so that I'm having a cry on a bench now. But what really smashed me up is when I said that I never went in the library at my last university because I felt so excluded and thought I'd disturb everyone. He said that made him sad.

I'm quite overwhelmed now. I appreciate what he said to no end. My fears of judgment and disturbing people are just so deep and intense. I don't know how to solve it. I want to feel included, I never go to libraries, but the truth is, I do feel excluded.

[sp3ctrum-int3rn3t]

shhhhhhh don't tell anyone i like tmf oh wait fuck

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one small thing can be the biggest thing of all

Kenji was smacking his keyboard again.

Atsushi did his best not to look since he knew that just made Kenji feel bad, but it was hard to tear his gaze away from the constant thumping.

And it’s not that Atsushi was annoyed (okay, maybe he was just a little bit, but that wasn’t Kenji’s fault), no, he was just… concerned. He was used to hearing sounds from Kenji—chirping, clicking, random bursts of short screams… they all blended into the background and became normal to him.

The smacking was new, though.

[or, kenji has a new, painful tic, and atsushi wants to help]

🌱3,611 words | kenji & atsushi-centric🌱

happy tourette's awareness month!!!

[cannibalhellhound]

This is for @topgunalternateuniverse bingo

This one was Hanahaki

The petals are white chrysanthemums because I love them.

There is a second piece I'll paint at a later date (it's sadder imo)

[meltedfuckingmarshmallow]

playing the 2010 house md ds game and why is gregory hate crimes house more normal about eating disorders than most doctors

[jarvis-cockhead]

I’ve only done 15 out of the 20 or so of these I want to do and I should not have drawn this bitch so soon because every time I look at him I get the compulsion to flip him off he’s genuinely given me my first ever swearing/gesture tic oh my god shut uppppp oh my god

[mugzymiik]

AHHHHHH some of my tics make me wanna like .rub a certain area with a certain part (e.g. rubbing my palm with my thumb) and its so AHHHHHH wHEN I CANT REACH THAT AREA WITH THAT PART AND IT DRIVES ME FUCKING INSANEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHH

[neurosky]

I didn't suppress completely in front of my friend today. I ticced in front of them. And you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. All those things my brain always tells me will happen, didn't happen. They never looked at me weirdly, never told me I was faking it, never said I was weird or anything like that. It really showed me how irrational this fear I have is. This is a friend, that I trust. Why would they treat me differently? Nothing happened. It was okay. It is okay.

[hydeingpurples]

It's 2:31am. Exceptionally awful leg tics tonight. My muscles are burning, my joints are aching. No matter how hard I tic, how much I twist and clench my legs, I cannot get rid of the ants that crawl inside my veins. It's painful. I fucking hate this condition. And people say they want it?

[the-fallen-collective]

if these tics don’t fukcing stop I’m gonna fight someone

[marshmalleaux-queen]

tiny vent

welp. I will certainly be more conscious about masking up any time I exit my home because I have a delightful (read: hideous) new grimace that will absolutely draw stares and/or make people think I'm making faces at them 🙃

[disapunk]

have to exagerate even more my symptoms only to get my tic attacks/sos medication.. fuck doctors

none of them give a fuck about disabilities, are my tic attacks that last more than an hour nothing to you? the constant pain in body bc of self harm tics/tics that hurt when i do them. the tiredness? that one tic that leaves me basically pissing myself a bit? the amount of headaches and ''i want to puke'' because of head tics... is that nothing?

i've been on this medication for YEARS, how am i not supposed to get it? it has helped me more than the fucking medication psychiatrists gave me.. i literally cannot exist without it because what happens if i have a tic attack at the wrong place? with the wrong people?

fucking helll

[r3musmoony]

tfw you’re having rly bad tics but still have to go into work ;-;

[saltedsolenoid]

trying my DARNDEST to suppress my tics because i fucked up my jaw and i don't wanna risk a dislocation or neck injury.... the struggles of the world

[buckys-little-belle]

it’s the - ‘all you can do for the pain is advil’

and then the - ‘how many advil do you take??? that’s unacceptable’

like … it’s not making sense but okay

[hydeingpurples]

I hate having Tourette's so much. I hate having an early morning job. My tics make it incredibly difficult to get to sleep most nights and I have to wake up early for my job. It's horrible. These two things don't mix. No matter how early I go to bed, I'm either too awake or/and my tics blow up as soon as I try to relax. Painful tics, relentless twitching and tensing tics. I hate it. I'm sorry but I want a cure.