#i hate this world where my brain hates me but i love this world where i will have clean sheets tonight and clean clothes and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feline-evil · 1 year

Text

Hiding my shirt that says 'i am not normal about narratives that imply an inanimate inhabited structure is a living breathing organism' as i walk into a board room and pitch my idea that we should make more horror revolving around living architecture

#jay talkin #I JUST. I JUST. i'm thinking about old haunted house movies that have this grimy sticky feeling to the house #where the evil is not just afflicted to wood and bricksbut eminates from it as a hatred #the house itself hates you. the voice screaming get out is born on the vocal chords of the hallway #i am also thinking about The Hotel the podcast you should all already be streaming CHOP CHOP CMON NOW #which is of course a more unique and i would say more abstract sister to this concept #(said deeply positively the concepts and horror explored make my brain ping pong rapidly)#which is another reason you should be listening because it does its own thing that i think you should listen to and discover yrself :)#(and also it is far more than this this is just a tiny SLITHER of what is explored go listen NEOW)#and i am also thinking about. drum roll please. you know whats coming. yes it could be nothing else #kitty horrorshows anatomy which is TO THIS DAY one of the best and most influential games upon me i have played #a game that pushes this concept to its core grotesque emotional fleshy pulp and runs with it #anatomy is a game that breeds in anxiety and discomfort and bleeds a sincere love in the horror it portrays #that love is something i yearn to see in horror media! it is also present in the hotel AHEM AHEM #but yes anatomy is an experience like no other that you really should experience for yourself #(glances down at my shirt) um. um ok so ill leave the board meeting now thank you for listening #dear god my pain medcin kicked in and i instantly became the worlds least normal man didnt i. WELL!!! thats all of youse problem now

207 notes · View notes

kyouka-supremacy · 10 months

Text

I'll be like “I don't really project in any bsd character” [ten seconds later] so Akutagawa is autistic and hates cooking and has never sent a text to a groupchat ever and

#and struggles with eating...#I also feel like sometimes the way I like sskk is very self indulgent ahah.#Like Akutagawa being stupid and evil it's just... So so very comforting for me–#in the way it frames a world where you can be flawed and dumb and imperfect and there'll still be someone to love you for how you are.#That despite everything you are still worth of love.#It's just so unspeakably relieving akdvdjskdbos I dream about a life where I'm not terrified of people stopping loving me if I wasn't kind #Which is weird because I *am* kind and being kind makes me me. it's just. idk brains has thoughts sometimes #On second thought. not main tagging this #random rambles #24/02/23 #Realistically I think it makes sense that Akutagawa *can* cook very basic stuff. to provide for Gin.#In practice I hate cooking so much that I don't want my favorite to undergo that ever

44 notes · View notes

sp1resong · 1 month

Text

siiighs. i still love rain world and i dont want to hate it but .... the hyperfix has faded enough that i can be critical ,, and. siiighs. fuck my brain and its perpetual black and white thinking!!

#spire rambles #whatever. i think ive found a truce somewhere #where i can Dislike Downpour's Story while Liking The Gameplay and Liking Rain World #unfortunately i think that's as nuanced as my emotions are getting #my Logical Thoughts are nuanced ofc but . the Brain Reaction is either We Love It (and can never think anything bad abt it bc it's perfect)#or We Hate It (and can never think anything good about it bc it sucks) and it pisses me OFF #we're doing LITERARY ANALYSIS you FUCK HEAD we need NUANCE get with the TIMES

4 notes · View notes

c-nan · 3 months

Text

i feel so much comfortable on here than on twitter and idk why it’s such a shock every time i come back here

#it’s like. i feel like such an outsider and a loser on twitter and it tanks my mental health and self esteem and i’ve found myself very #focused on follower count bc number have always fucked with my brain #and it’s different here. idk i feel like y’all actually want me here which means the whole entire world to me #i don’t hate twitter completely bc it’s where my favorite group chat is and where i keep up with current events + yellowjackets but i do #think i need to limit my time scrolling #idk everyone has their little friend group in the yj fandomand i’m flailing #anyway. that’s all. i try not to get too negative / in my head here bc i like to keep this blog positive #anyway (take 2) i love all of you guys here and if we have ever spoken even once i love you and consider you a friend <3

2 notes · View notes

t4tstarvingdog · 10 months

Text

just got forty dollar in quarters. laundry time tonite queen

#timothy's txts.#i hate this world where my brain hates me but i love this world where i will have clean sheets tonight and clean clothes and #maybe even a clean heart oh god.... to be clean............#do you think if i asked really nicely godwould come down and wash my hands for me #i really think i just need to be scrubbed really hard by god. he could get my hands and my shoulders and behind my ears #he could the backs of my knees and my throat..................................#i think. well. i shan't say #stream that one fic about dean saying he just wants someone to wash his hands #and then the next fic where cas does wash his hands

4 notes · View notes

weirdlizard26 · 1 year

Text

so bizarre to me that my love language is apparently recording music for people. how did this even happen

#wl26 #<- little weirdo #SORRY I LIKE MUSIC AND THE ACT OF SHARING IT!!!!!!!!!!#i feel rly guilty abt it sometimes bc it feels so selfish. like hi i made art and im showing it to you so you can look at or listen to it #and you might not like it but i made it for you specifically because its related to something you enjoy #but its not actually the thing you enjoy. its just something that i made about it because i also enjoy it #and im scared the ways we enjoy it are completely different which means youre gonna hate the thing i made #but i will show it to you anyways because i love you and its the only way i know to say it #n a couple of time ive wanted to write a song for someone and gotten so excited about it and then had the horrible realization that #this is so. so oddly specific to me and this is just something i do out of love for friends #and it really isnt any bigger of a deal than any other handmade gift #and i think it can easily qualify as a handmade gift even though it doesnt involve making anything with hands #except for sounds i suppose #but yeah its just something i do. but. outside of my tiny little world. writing a song for someone might seem like such a huge gesture #and i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable or have the wrong idea about me or think that im doing a big thing to get something in return #and idk why im so scared of that like ive never been in a situation where people misunderstood me like that #but i guess. the very concept of being misunderstood is so painful to me gdfkgjd #this wasnt supposed to turn into a big post sorry. just want a normal brain that doesnt make me feel guilty abt everything please #wouldnt that be so nice #this isnt rly abt anything btw i was just going through my music folder. listening to my stuff from 2018 #5 years... god

4 notes · View notes

passerinesoncaffeine · 9 months

Text

What is this problem and how do I fucking fix it.

#Mmmmm how do I enjoy myself like a normal human being instead of feeling crushing guilt if I’m taking a break for my own sake #I have a love hate relationship with my brain and mental illness #OCD I could do without you leave me alone #I’d like to keep all the manias to a minimum tyvm #Honestly I wish I didn’t have to medicate my ADHD but it’s hit or miss if I can function averagely if I don’t #I don’t fucking know where the dissociation periods came from as a kid #(Actually I do. Fuck you anxiety.)#but now I get freaked out if lose track of time or feel too emotional or like the world isn’t real #Mmmmmmm I just wish I could enjoy things and find happiness in them like I used to though #Yk it’d be great if I could take care of myself too instead of promptly forgetting to do basic human needs #My cat KitKatniss is here though and she’s v excited to see me #Anyways sorry #rant #Delete later #probably #I did rewatch a lot of She-ra was nice

2 notes · View notes

dbphantom · 2 years

Text

WHOAG I slept for 14 hours and had a very long dream about Bl/3 H2O au

#Cruddy rambles #Well it started with me checking out some newly released concept art for the game bc ig they didn't push all of it in the art book #<- this was in the dream btw not irl. And they had some really neat pre release designs for the Bl/3 VHs #And part of the game was going to take place on this huge island [not junpai-7 😭]#There was going to be a boss fight with a unique hag/goon enemy and her tink buddy and they both love/hated each other #The Vault on the island had a giant dragon-like monster they flew around and landed periodically [for melee VHs] but it was constantly #Available to fight. Like. You'd be running around the island doing story stuff and the Vault dragon would swoop down and try to initiate a #Fight with you and you had the choice to either fight it or run away/hide #Fighting it and winning would make it weaker when you 'actually' fought it during the story but losing made it stronger and this thing was #Hard to take down in the first place like it would 2 shot you and hunt you down when you tried to hide it was so cool #Also important to note that it was an Eridian construct monster not a fleshy monster which explains why it was active and roaming #Bc the story for this island was actually that you were sent to close the vault to seal the dragon back inside #Because it's terrorizing the ppl of the island trying to keep ppl from getting close to the Vault #So my brain had definitely taken the idea for the warrior and warped it a ton... Cuz I'm pretty sure closing the Vault would do nothing #But it was a cool subversion so I'm down to play with it for my au #Also there was a fun cliffside shack where you'd enter via trap door and the people inside would shoot you to death as soon as you landed #So you had to be quick and kill them before they killed you #Which was fine but I let the older of the two guys live bc I felt bad and he came back around and killed 'me' [I was playing Zane... Lmao]#It was a really big open world too it was kinda cool how it was set up. Like you had that one final goal and then it was up to you how you #Went about and solved it. Obvs not fitting for an irl border/lands game but I really loved it in dream world #It made for a fun story #My favorite area was the waterfall area bc I hid behind it to hide from the dragon and also cheese it a little by shooting it in the eyes #[crit spot] from behind the water bc it couldn't get to me #I should probably note that this whole thing was considered an 'early access' build of bl/3 so it was a little glitchy at times #But really fun. Zane had ice powers. Amara could fly [prerelease she had siren wings not arms ig]. Fl4k was actually a cyborg. Moze could #Summon a bunch of floating guns around her instead of IB and each provided a unique buff while shooting. It was cool af #I kinda wanna draw all their designs. Amara had 4 arms like. Not spectral. Just straight up. Zane had that poncho and different facial hair #Fl4k was half human half robot and their face still had that giant singular eye over the top but it looked almost like a mask #Moze looked almost the same but she had more of a walkable mech suit/armor (?) instead of the leather jacket #Also I wanna draw the dragon. It had the wings of the warrior. Cryo breath. And shot ice spears from its tail.

9 notes · View notes

nomaishuttle · 10 months

Text

its impossible for you all to understand how much of my thoughts r in sweeney references. like there is one person on this earth who understand and its my sibling who is similarly inclined...

#bc i cant at work just be like. I had him and then . but with lamp. i can say the first thing that comes to mind #which lets say hypothetically its oot and im trying to get all the poes and theres one left.omg just have to get this one FUCKING poe. so #easy. go to the cunt. its under that little thangy on the other side of the river from the stairs to kakariko. spoilers if yr trying to #find all the poes in oot but im gonna go ahead n tell you nothing is worth dealing with this cunt.#but anyeays. Omg there he is. shoot him. he runs away #im riding on epona teying to catch him trying to shoot HE KEEPS FUCKING GETTING AWAY. IT TOOK ME 2. FUCKING. HOURS.#and like. my 3rd to last attempt. i was so. so fucking close. like one more shot i wouldve gotten him yk. so close. but he gets away. and #Immediate immediate reaction was I had him and then . his throat was there beneath my hand. NO I HAD HIM !!! HIS THROAT WAS THERE NOW HELL #NEVER COME AGAIIIIIIIIN. it was very funny #bc i was genuinely shaking with rage look i dont often relate to sweeney im gonnacome out and say bad dude yk. in that moment ? i was like #no to be honest there IS a hole in the world like a great black pit and its filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of #the world inhabit it . and yk who one of those vermin is. That fucking poe that fucking poe i hate him i want him dead.#i want his wife. Dead. i want his wife. Dead. i want his wife. Dead. i want his w #my fav video i miss it..#but anyways yes its near constant. i cant even say yes eithout my brain going yesss... Isnt that her . Shadow-on-the wall 😏? where Theree #Primping making herself even prettier than USUALL if possible.pretty women etc #i cant say oh no without going OH NOOOOO!!! ohhhg goddddd... dont i know you... she said....................#i love final scene mainly bc i love hearing all the sweeneys realizing its lucy Spoilers btw. not bc its like an avting momentbut bc its SO #FUNNYYYY. 2006's oh god genuinely sends me into hysterics. hs says oh no in lowercase and then goes oHhhfh goD...... its so funny #and who is it that does the rly ling OH NOOOO. its the original one ITS SO FUNNYYY #first of all the kittle bahbuh!!! after Its only a miserable old be- is so long its so funny #and then awkward beat of silence and then OH NOOOOOOO!!!!! and then he says oh my god . in the most harrowed voice ever #ITS SO FUNNYYYY #everybody go listen to final scene Firstly it is my favorite sweeney song probably. love loven ofc 2012 number one 4everr the lyrics r #slightly different from every other version bc 2012 sweeney Technically likee. well its set in a different time period normal sweeney is i #think like. late 1800s? 2012 is 1930s bc of the parallels with like capitalism and what have you.. so the framing device is its a group of #factory workers talking abt sweeney GUYS 2012 IS SO FUCKING GOOD IT MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ILL.#but ya its be like. og sweeney is set during the industrial revolution so like yk. n then the 1930s with labor unions n all that was going #on.. u get it u get it anyways. its so good but some kf the lyrics r sliiiightly tweaked just to like. suit the time period better and im #going to say something blasphemous . 2012s lyrics r so much better and flow nicer and dont sound as stilted like. the older ones dont sound

1 note · View note

m0e-ru · 2 years

Text

losing the idgaf war

#kommento #// playing spltoon flopping at every level and dying yelling TAKE MEEE take my brain and cradle it nicely take me into your care #// successfully fading into obscurity because im not necessarily popular nd slandering my own name further so it's smeared in history books #// and my legacy dies an untimely death if I ever had one and leave nothing behind and this gas station dissappears into the fog #// that I couldn't be the one in people's mouths when they think about this One Guy that I was no competition to anyone else #// in this so-called 'community' that was so hostile and volatile to me because I had standards and I projected too hard for my own good #// not that ive been badgered or hurt or maimed or anything i dont think i would even still be in this hellhole if that ever were the case #// but im in this specific pocket of fndom are full of freaks and i want to appease most of them and make a name for myself #// —ambitious i know— majority of these people ARE freaks and so the people who are popular ARE freak themselves #// so techincally im trying to appeal to three people but i want more when it's technically not possible #// and im a little bitch so i hate the turnout ?? this is why i'll never be satisfied in here but ive been still kicking crying and going #// i wish i wasnt a hater i wish the things i dont want to see werent so physically revolting that my heart sinks and i see red #// i wish it was a more minor thing where im a hater for about 50% of it and i can Easily Dismiss it #// than hatership being a part of my personality #// that I've earned so little and lost so much but everyone and everything that I've loved is so genuine and real and too much #// that the stakes of doing something is so high like it's gambling itself that I'm not too sure I'm satisfied with my time here #// despite all the things I believed were good that's happened already #// that if I leave right now on the fickle decisiveness of the squirrel in my brain there would be things on this figurative bucket list I #// never have accomplished and I'm not too sure I can come back to do it because of my home that looks like war trenches itself #// all this time and love I've put into this world and I'm stubborn and selfish enough to believe I have not received what I am due #// and that this love and dedication was never received by enough people as I perceive #// sorry for being a baby's first but my time here in this pit of hell has been th absolute worst and most horrid of other fndoms I've been #// and while I practice the inherent belief I am the scum of the earth and the worst person alive #// and that I leave the things I love so much behind with wordless and meaningless abandonment #// I've made so much and shared so much that enough of my love was perceived by others and that #// I've at least left myself some things behind even if it has never reached others the way I humbly wished it to #// lmao like I'm writing an overly dramatic resignation letter and I leave it front desk and when I exit the building it #// either completely disappears behind me or keeps standing but stay unmaintained for the duration I'm gone #// people could still come and go or I could make it disappear myself. I think I've done a good job at making it easy to do that #// sorry for being dramatic ? idk how to give closure on this if the time ever comes or if this Is The Closure

4 notes · View notes

orcelito · 2 years

Text

What If I didn't have a brain of a pessimistic squirrel that takes everything out of proportion and can't deal with any thing

#speculation nation #me getting 4 comments 3 of them being long & detailed and wonderful #(which i want to reply to them so baaad but i dont have a brain rn. tomorrow i will)#but i also lost Two bookmarks (gasp!) and i have 4 comments when my average is like 7 or 8 ish. sometimes more.#and my brain is like 'do people not like it? 😭'#trying to beat my brain back with a stick like a: this is a Long Chapter so people will need time to absorb it #and b: even if i dont have a ton of reception i still have 3 very detailed comments that express how much they love it #those comments r the only thing keeping me sane rn ngl.#this is why people say not to rely on reception for satisfaction with ur own work bc it will never be enough #god i really hope andi can recover enough to return to beta reading soon bc i am losing my mind #might also be the sleep deprivation talking. but The Anxiety is easier to ignore if i have someone there to reassure me #prior to posting. so that i know at Least one person enjoys it.#ughhhhhhngg me planning on A Part being included next chapter that is uhhh #kind of a difficult topic to cover. Essential but idk how ppl will feel about it. im gonna include it but i will be anxious about it.#ngl anytime i have smth that is Uhhh taking any kind of stance with anything or making any kind of statement #it makes me so anxious to put that out there. so many little emails to tell people how i view the world...#just currently dealing with smth i thought was good n reasonable n important that has gotten 0 attention and im just like #i hope ppl dont hate it... i hope that's not why im losing bookmarks....#maybe ppl have just lost interest in the game. or maybe ppl hate where im going with the story.#i CANNOT tell and it drives me insane. little hampster beaver brain needs to Not.#maybe its time to sleep. can u tell by this post that i can barely keep my eyes open rn? i think i probably could tell.#discacc shit #sure lol it deals with it enough

3 notes · View notes

whalehouse1 · 6 months

Text

Hello imposter syndrome my old friend.

#I really really hate the fact that I know I can do certain things but trying to get to them is a drudge #because my brain keeps telling me I can’t do it and I know I can’t but I know it’s wrong #but then I find and old thing I did which shows where I started and how I improved but since I haven’t don’t anything in a while my skills #have degraded to before my better stuff but still not at the novice level and then I see amazing art fro #from others and my brain immediately goes to how talented when I know how much work those ppl had to put into it to get to that level #and then I feel bad for thinking the first thing so my brain goes to the and you think you can even get here when I know I can in my ownway #and I hate it here #I’m related to a ton of morons who think they’re god’s gift to the world and urinate gold and poop out platinum bars #while being some of the stupidest ppl on the planet but no they feel like their owed stuff #meanwhile I’m constantly feeling like a trash goblin who should just be stepped on cause what can I do? nothing #and I know it’s not true but that stupid little voice loves to scream #ah self-esteem it’d be nice to have just an ounce

0 notes

taketheringtolohac · 9 months

Note

Who would you cast in which roles in your trigun rhps shadowcast? 👀

Ok so when I was posting about that I was not actually envisioning them doing an entire rhps shadowcast it was more like an au where that is the backdrop so basically it’s something like this:

Vash is a regular shadowcast member, he mostly plays Frank but is something of a swing for all roles. He’s been doing it for a while and he’s got some good friends their. Meryl and Milly are Columbia and Magenta, respectively. Livio is newer to the cast, but he’s getting the hang of it.

Livio is about to make his big debut as Riff Raff and he invites Wolfwood to see the show because it’s important to him. Also because he thinks it would embarrass the hell out of him. Wolfwood goes, he is made to play in the virgin games, he is embarrassed because he was Not expecting any of this but he is. Utterly charmed by the handsome blonde playing Frank (it’s Vash) so he keeps coming back despite the embarrassment. He gets the hang of it and even starts saying some callbacks too. Livio knows he is crushing on Vash hard, he jokes that he should join the cast. Cut to Wolfwood who has now joined the cast. Not even two months later. He plays Brad even though he is bashful about it.

Legato is a part of the cast sometimes. Generally he thinks he is too cool for them (he’s not) but when he gets over himself he also plays Riff, but he’s played Criminologist as well. A really really weird Criminologist. Knives engages in queer discourse about Rocky Horror. He would never call it that, but he thinks he’s above it and it’s inane, and also that it’s degrading and morally bankrupt. Vash convinced him to do it once. He was Eddie. He enjoyed it. It is his greatest shame.

#to be clear vash and knives have a strained relationship in this au that is sometimes neutral positive. bc aus where they’re perfectly fine #ignores important parts of their character and is inaccurate. they are not fine they are fucked up.#I’m sorry for being cringe on main. do you still love me anon.#I’ve thought a lot abt this can you tell. I hate making modernau stuff for things with such a rich complex world and Themes that are insane #and I’ll read it but always prefer canon compliant whatever usually. however. my brain will still make this stuff up and I can’t resist.#proxy roxy asks

1 note · View note

arolesbianism · 9 months

Text

Uh oh

#rat rambles #accidentally clicked on one of the journal logs in oni while I was looking for smth else and Im in the rabbit hole now #cause like why is this so me bait I knew this game had semi silly lore but I did not know it would actually tickle my brain like this #I already liked the concept of the duplacants on a basic level its just the sorta stuff I find fun but oghhhh #they arent just molds their molds based on once real ppl oh that is so fucked up I love it #Im not gonna go read through everything cause quite frankly I dont particularly care abt the worldbuilding I just like the scientists #for the record the first one I accidentally clicked on was the bubbles one and I audibly gasped when I realized its her #dude a large cast of characters who are in a fucked up situation involving being experimented on without realizing and cloning shit?#thats my favorite shit like thank god theres not actually that many journals cause otherwise it would be so jover #these dead scientists would become my orbo blorbos fr fr #like let me be clear the only thing standing between me and becoming the only person who has oni blorbos is that theres not more logs #if there were? you all would hate me #like I honestly could work with just this but will I?#....well knowing me I can deny the possibility but yknow I dont plan to #if the world interested me more then maybe but it doesnt so Im not quite itching to go ham on making shit up for 40 characters #alas in a situation like this where theyre all garaunteed doomed the worldbuilding rly matters to me and as such its not calling to ke #but I do love the concept behind the scientists sooooo fun thats my favorite shit right there

1 note · View note

kutyaharapas · 1 year

Text

im only bearable when im drunk. its only bearable when im not sober

#how do other people do this genuinely asking #why is it so much easier to exist that way. why cant i be the person i am at parties and clubs #where is the switch in my brain. where is it #because it all feels so inpersonal. a performance. an act. and i hate it im tired #i dont want to be alone so im putting in the effort and i am genuinely making connections #but its not enough. this isnt enough to me #i left school today and i nearly cried and went doom spiraling again #and nothing BAD happened #maybe subconsciously im comparing myself too much to others. like oh this guy is way ahead of me already so ive basically lost at this point #oh im not in everyones dms in class that means they hate my guts and they think im weird #its exhausting to live this way. it is exhausting to live with a brain that is so allergic to changing. that is SO against me all the time.#nothing bad happened. why do i want to die anyway. what did i do. why is it never enough to me. why am i never enougu #i wont. get into substance abuse i promised that #but i cant lie when i say it makes me miserable that seemingly i dont even feel like a person without it #i iust dont know. i dont like being myself.#i am too tired too bitter to mean too avoidant too emotionless too uncaring #can i be anyone else. someone whos in love with the world and they dont have to try to love it #whatever #do i just have autism. or bpd. or am i actually just inexplicably broken forever in ways ill never know #is this normal. am i normal and i just cant handle it like everyone else can #or is there something that describes me. or am i forced to live feeling like this forever and just pretend its not there #i dont know which id hate more #i just want to stop feeling alone in it. i want to help myself more than anything #and not give in to self destruction. its just been really really hard lately #vent

1 note · View note

bahablastplz · 7 months

Text

SKZ Recs (NSFW)

As a chronic fanfic reader, I have a lot of recommendations. So, these are the ones I think about the most. All of them include smut, so they're 18+. Red text indicates fics on AO3. Go support these amazing authors!! Enjoy!! <3

Bang Chan

The SKZ house @writeonwhiskey (Chan x reader x Hyunjin…SKZ but make it a frat… and also sexy)

Silent cry @j-0ne25 (Fake dating/friends to lovers, live laugh hurt comfort… emphasis on the hurt)

Love is intuitive @skzonthebrain (forbidden love and angst… so emotional and loving <3)

Kinktober Day 8 @dreaming-medium (breeding, best friend, fake dating, so sweet and spicy)

Summer in Seoul @writeonwhiskey (strangers to lovers, summer love, spicy and romantic)

Saturday mornings @skzdarlings (Chan/reader/Seungmin where Seungmin is an absolute menace that gets reader in trouble… dom Chan is so good in this one omg)

It’s cold out @therhythmafterthesummer (roommate Chan is going through his rut… oops there’s more ABO on this list than I realized sorry not sorry)

Bodyguard: The first guard @skzdarlings (A sequel to the bodyguard, an ongoing work that has elements of enemies to lovers and great, in-depth world building and character development)

However you want it, lover-lover @cbini (you ask your bf Chan to step on you after watching spicy edits of him on tiktok omg)

More than just friends @kwanisms (roommate Chan is entering his rut... he's usually able to control himself but this time you're ovulating. sprinkle some brat taming in here as well and it's so delicious)

Lee Know

The Experience Project @leeknowsallyoursecrets (Enemies to lovers Lee Know, really good plot and relationship building!)

Sanguis Limerence @jl-micasea-fics (Vampire OT8, Lee Know x Reader x Chan, SUPER good world building, especially in their sequel with the backstories… I was so invested. And it’s super hot)

Barb Wired Brat @roseykat (BDSM Lee Know with reader going into subspace… awakened things in me)

Audience @gimmeurtmi (2 min, wet dreams, exhibitionism, degradation… yeah)

Well Shit @2chopsticks2eyes (Brother’s best friend, inexperienced reader, enemies to lovers and fwb… literally so good)

Sea May Rise, Sky May Fall @skzms (Lee Know x Reader x Han, complete series, Pirate AU with beautiful world building, in-depth characters and GREAT smut. One of my all time favs)

rsvp @cbini (teasing dom vampire boyfriend Minho and you get the punishment you deserve... brat taming and so so so sexy like it's insane)

Changbin

The accidental acquisition of sugar @skzdarlings (accidental sugar daddy Changbin x reader that’s absolutely hilarious with great smut)

Valentine’s series ‘do you really think you’re in a position to give orders’) @skzdarlings (forbidden love/romeo & juliet style but with gun play… um this was so hot tho)

Close your eyes (...And count to seven) @MysteryBird (Possessive gang leader bf! Changbin that you’re trying to piss off by sleeping with the other members… 100k+ words and so delicious)

Hyunjin

Praise kink Hyunjin @dreaming-medium (A kinktober fic, enemies to lovers detective Hyunjin… absolutely delicious)

Snowed In @moonjxsung (really artistic, heartfelt, and beautifully written)

Jury’s still out @straywrds (rivals to hooking up/hate sex… super spicy and hot)

Dressing down @jl-micasea-fics (shopping trip with best friend Hyunjin turns out spicy ahh the chemistry)

Four of wands @straywrds (beautifully crafted story I was so immersed in!! witch Hyunjin and sex magick, the characters have so much depth! crazy tension)

Han

Watch your six @dreaming-medium (sensory deprivation kinktober ah this is engraved in my brain)

The same but different @skzdarlings (ahh hanlix fairy au where they’re linked with great world building and is so funny… I maybeee think about this every day)

Sea May Rise, Sky May Fall @skzms (Lee Know x Reader x Han, complete series, Pirate AU with beautiful world building, in-depth characters and GREAT smut. One of my all time favs)

Screen Identity: Mismatched Passion (SIMP) @leeknowsallyoursecrets (Spin-off series to the experience project! Jisung x reader enemies/academic rivals to lovers in which they’re both anonomously sexting each other on discord without knowing who’s on the other end of the screen!!! top tier level tension)

Felix

The bodyguard @skzdarlings (Forced proximity, enemies to lovers, had me SUPER invested and made me cry)

The same but different @skzdarlings (ahh hanlix fairy au where they’re linked with great world building and is so funny… I maybee think about this every day)

Snap out of it @2baabbies (Felix gives you the option to either go home with your shitty boyfriend or go home with him at the end of the night ahhh!!)

Seungmin

Bet on it @skzonthebrain (Academic rivals, enemies to lovers and such good tension/chemistry)

Audience @gimmeurtmi (2 min, wet dreams, exhibitionism, degradation… yeah)

Saturday mornings @skzdarlings (Chan/reader/Seungmin where Seungmin is an absolute menace that gets reader in trouble… dom Chan is so good in this one omg)

Seungmin + hairpulling @straykeedz (kinktober fic, best friend Seungmin finds out you have a thing for hairpulling and can't get you out of his head... this is taken straight from the deepest depths of my fantasies i s2g)

no nut november @gimmeurtmi (this whole nnn series is fantastic but seeing Seungmin lose his composure because of his breeding kink does something for me)

august is a fever @seungminheart (mean dom Seungmin... you don't think he is really into you so you see how far you can push him/I love mean dom Seungmin and I think this fic does it just right)

I.N.

Lavender boy @hyunsvngs (A/B/O Alpha jeongin… super sexy and great dynamics)

Clueless @jeongin-lvr (inexperienced big dick I.N. that just wants to make reader feel good… also omg he’s so hot in this pls)

Better and better @seungminheart (sharing a bed, best friend Jeongin, amazing banter, soft dom Jeongin, brat taming, every trope from my hopes and dreams)

Third leg? @beesspacedotorg (huge dick alpha Innie... some brat taming, great banter and dynamics and sexy)

OT8

Sharing a bed series @skzdarlings (Best trope ever and they really do it justice) (Chan's is linked but you should read all 8)

Sharing is caring @skzms (Minsung x reader x OT8… really well written spice)

Fake texts @thefantasyden (I swear these are like crack I read them every single time)

Kinktober23 @roseykat (one of the first SKZ blogs that I started reading that really brought me deep into the fandom… My fav from this is Table Manners and Bible Studies, and it has a part 2)

All Bark no Bite @doitforbangchan (Main pairing is Chan x Reader with some OT8, it's an ABO au with some really good spice)

Masterlist

4K notes · View notes