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eccentric-nucleus · 6 months ago

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so, i finally finished (posting) my huge, novel-length teenage mutant ninja turtles fanfic. i just posted the final epilogue over on ao3!

here is my director's commentary on it, if you want to read even more about it. this contains spoilers for the whole thing. maybe read the epilogue first and sit with that for a minute. also this will probably be pretty incoherent if you haven't read the whole thing. it's just a disconnected series of thoughts i have about the story, really

man, this story. this is maybe the longest thing i've ever written? like 'the new hive' and 'hell game' had more words (i think) but they were mostly a disconnected series of sex scenes with thin connective tissue between them. this is ~200k words of a single, linear, mostly-plot narrative. i'm writing scenes that aren't just about getting the two leads to fuck!! that's weird. it's definitely the most ambitious thing i've written. kind of weird that it's tmnt fanfic. that's just how it worked out, i guess.

so back in 2022 i watched the rise of the tmnt movie because people kept talking about the animation quality of the fights and that got me into a spiral of actually paying attention to the ninja turtles. i had never been into them & genuinely i think a huge part of getting into tmnt stuff was that rise actually varied the design of the turtles so that they weren't all basically identical save for color-coding. turns out visual design was the missing mystery ingredient.

also in 2022 i was burning out on writing 'goblin cave', when what i had intended to be a fun little writing exercise ended up getting algorithmically surfaced and getting me hundreds of comments on each chapter. that got a little stressful and i wasn't really enjoying that, so i stopped. but i was like, hmm you know i mostly just write weird porn but maybe i should write something a little more ambitious. with a plot, and everything. 'goblin cave' was (in my mind) all about a character who was created for violence deciding art was a much more worthwhile pursuit. but the main character of that doesn't know what art is. because it's a magical dungeon core. and i was still thinking a lot about dead zones of the imagination, by david graeber. so i was like, okay, let's do this again but in a slightly more self-authentic way and make it weird gay porn with weird animal dicks. let's give michelangelo ninjaturtle a monologue about how the powerful are utterly insulated from any consequence.

(also early on, after watching most of rottmnt, i stumbled across this blog post about the tmnt comics and the end of the world. that ended up being deeply influential on the fic too. i've been kinda in a state for the past few years and this fic is absolutely a part of me working through a lot of complicated feelings about the world and the future. lol people talk so much about people writing dark fic 'to cope' but this was pretty much the first time i've outsourced my emotional processing by having bad things happen to fictional characters.)

so uhhh where to start here. the setting of the fic is this complicated messy mashup of a half-dozen tmnt continuities. it's very rise-heavy, since... that was the only series i had watched(/read) when i had determined the major plot points, but there's a lot of bits and pieces from all over.

to roughly outline the characters here, a huge influence on mikey's personality in this is... mikey's 'dr delicate touch' persona in rottmnt. in the sense that... okay yes yes that is a kid's show and all of his dr delicate touch lines are, you know, setups and punchlines. you think he's going to be nice but actually he's mean! etc. but in-universe it's like, wait hold on a second. mikey is like the most emotionally-intelligent of the four. he absolutely knows when people are on the edge of flipping out and need a calming out to a stressful situation. and instead he freaks them out more! mikey's hobby is: being mean to his friends & family, for fun! what a fun character trait.

i was thinking about this tweet a lot, too. i read some writing advice once that people tend to make characters who are supposed to be likable too squeaky-clean. nothing but positive character traits for them! but actually every 'positive' character trait is exactly the same as a 'negative' one; it's just a matter of focus and degree. a character is light-hearted and comedic? they can never take things seriously, even when they really should. a character is willing to do anything to protect the people they love? so they're violent and threatening and scary if they happen to decide you're something that they need to protect against. etc. i was really dedicated in this to bringing out the worst characteristics of everybody's personalities.

mikey was also very deeply inspired by: all the garbage progression fantasy stuff i've been reading. i've complained about this several times on this very blog, but a constant theme in most progression fantasy is 1. the main character will constantly get more and more powerful and 2. the main character will never really have their relationship with the rest of the world changed via that power. it's just stat-ups. they just have higher stats so they're more powerful. mikey is the most powerful person on the planet and it's fucking ruining his life. he knows that there's nobody capable of actually checking his behavior, & he's in this constant state of thinking he's maybe a few bad days away from murdering half the planet and incredibly aware there's not really anything he can do about that aside from constantly worry. he's kind of an anxious mess.

mikey absolutely thinks it's more ethical to murder somebody out of the sheer glee of seeing people crushed before you than murdering somebody for something as tedious as mob orders. you're satisfying a deep, raw desire felt from the heart! that's good!

what he'd like to do, in some sense, is just hang out in his studio and chill with other artists, but he knows the world is not gonna let him do that. things will come up. a lot of his being a creepy bystander thing while people get murdered is b/c he's very much formulated his morality to be like... it is not his responsibility to fix other people's problems. other people will do what they want and that has no bearing on him. is that a pretty cowardly and self-serving morality? sure! but he was kinda designed to rule the world & his flinch away from that pretty much defines him as a character in this. that's kinda the morality he needed to end up on to convince himself not to be a genocide machine.

he's incredibly aware he could basically be a superhero, & all it would take is... giving up on all his hopes and dreams and constantly engage with his abilities. and being a superhero isn't that many steps removed from living up to his full design spec and just taking over the world and ruling as god-emperror. idk how well i hit all those notes in the actual fic, but, that's what i was going for. mikey as the narrator clearly doesn't want to talk or think about it so it's never really directly confronted.

raph is... okay so i guess a fairly common piece of fanon, for rise especially, is to characterise raph as having multiple personalities? whether that's him just having alters or him having full-blown MPD depends on the fic. my fun little nod to that is that he's kind of a disassociative mess. he has kind of failed to reconcile the disparate aspects of his personality and he switches between one of several different facades depending on the situation. also, you know. the trauma.

(i didn't really mean for it to be as such, but there is this theme in the story about names? despite everything else mikey has a crystal-clear self-conception of himself and has one name, which he gave himself. raph, who has kinda failed to build his own personality, has a collection of name other people have given him, none of which he feels actually fits him. donnie has a more fluid self-identity and also has roughly a million aliases and false identities & constantly slips in and out of character when it's convenient. leatherhead still going by the name mikey gave him goes hand-in-hand with that bit where mikey meanly thinks about how maybe leatherhead's entire self-conception is hung up on something mikey said to him once, etc. this is one of those things that i'd go back and make more present if i did go back and clean up the rough draft, b/c as it is it's there, but it doesn't really do a whole lot.)

this fic was inspired by... i had read a few big aus that were just like, taking the characters and loose bits of setting and going off in completely different directions. some of NeiNing's aus were a definite influence, plus like, this one au where raph is an ex-con mechanic, etc, etc. just like "i am going to play out a completely unrelated drama using turtles as the dolls". maybe most directly influential was Of Knights and Thieves, where donnie & mikey are corporate espionage hacker/thief types and raph & leo are do-gooder vigilantes. the original concept for this was much more heavily focused on the art forgery. in a very early draft the idea was leo would get involved much more actively in trying to track down the creator of the false takenobus. then i was like, "i am going to crash a completely separate story concept about the dark armor into the side of this art-forgery story". the filename for the story is still 'lol grindr hookup art thief'. that is not really where the story went.

oh man, the art stuff. i made some posts about this at the time! that are now several years old. here's one! i did end up getting a traditional woodcut printing of Tokaido 53 stations, no. 11, Hokone. in a lot of ways doing all the art research was more satisfying and fun than writing the extensive downward spiral that was the latter half of the fic. but, hey, that's life too i guess.

also raph in this is... okay, so, i don't mean this in a mean way. i really liked the fics! but cndrow has written several raph/donnie fics where raph is just like... like a repeated theme in them is raph confessing eternal love & talking about how he's like, mentally planning on them being together forever. on the first date. and sure sure everybody has different tastes; i'm absolutely sure that my interest in guys who are mean leads to some stories that are extremely offputting to some people, etc. but it's like, oh man, raph, please slow your roll a little. if somebody said they were planning our future wedding all of ten minutes into talking to me i would flee the room. & the raph in blinded by the summer sun is very much inspired by that. sadly, i never fully committed to that. originally i even had a line in chapter 9 where slash was like 'please tell me you didn't drop the 'i love you forever' on this guy already' to imply that that was, you know, a theme for raph, but i chickened out and cut it. raph as a kind of rolling series of bad relationships characterized by him falling forever in love w/ his latest crush until the relationship detonates and leaves him not really understanding how things went wrong. but i don't think that's expressed well like, at all. but that ideally should characterize a large part of why he keeps chasing after mikey even well after the point where it would be reasonable to disengage. also to convey some of the downsides of a character believing in true love. it's rough out there in the world.

also thank you tumblr user averyterrible for writing this goncharov post. that was the point in the story where i was like, actually i have been writing raph as way too much of a sad boy. if i want to play in the space of crime drama, there needs to be some crime! he's a yakuza assassin. he needs to chop off somebody's fingers with bolt cutters.

to me, the central question in the fic isn't really 'will the mikey/raph relationship work out' or 'will mikey succeed in his plans', it's 'why is mikey doing these things'. & i think the leatherhead chunks in chapter 23 finally give enough context to what's going on with mikey to let people answer that? like oh, mikey is a mess.

(lol the initial setup for the early chapters are supposed to give an audience response of like, "oh no, raph has some dangerous secrets" "oh no, raph is a violent yakuza murderer! i hope mikey is going to be okay interacting with raph" "...oh no, i hope raph is going to be okay interacting with mikey")

a lot of the story really is about how... mikey & raph's relationship is in a lot of ways very adolescent? they have not had a lot of prior experience with healthy relationships, and they're trying, but, uhhhhhhh. mikey likes to act like he's so cool and above-it-all and unaffected by things happening, but that's actually just b/c he doesn't really care about most things. when something happens that he genuinely doesn't like he immediately snaps and has a giant meltdown. (we see this once with raph, when mikey has a panic attack and throws up when raph blows him off wrt warning him of bishop, and once with donny about the armor, where mike immediately starts tantruming and threatening to kill himself. mikey is very bad at resolving conflict. he's kind of a brat, actually.)

like every character in this is in some way their worst self. they're all pretty awful people. but they're all also trying to... grapple with their place in the world and try to be better people. to even figure out what 'better' means. this is a story about how 'being a good person' is a constant struggle, not to 'do the right thing', but to even figure out what's 'right'. it's about picking yourself up again after a bad period and going, well, let's keep going. like mikey has a lot of traits but one that i, the author, actually think is fairly admirable is his ability to get back up and keep going after a really bad period. which is funny b/c characterwise that goes hand-in-hand with his callousness. just shrug off all the misery you caused other people, i guess! see above about positive/negative character traits.

(also uh there's another tmnt fic author whose work has a lot of... a Bad Guy is constructed/identified. then helpless children (or teens!) are rescued from him. then the bad guy is ruthlessly & violently murdered. sometimes onscreen, sometimes offscreen. and then it's nothing but chapter after chapter of people being happy and cutesy to each other. and like, i get it. but the, like, recurring theme there of the Bad Guy having done something fundamentally unforgivable that separates from all understanding & mercy, to which the only justice is a violent death, just strikes me as... simplistic. sometimes people do really awful things and part of grappling with that as an adult with an adult moral conceptualization is realizing that you gotta look past your initial reflex to punishment.

or like, mikey's whole childhood in this really fucked him up but a huge part of his identity is him having to form an identity from that. having to make the determination of which parts of him are 'him' and which parts were done to him. lol @ him aggressively and extensively rejecting everything about what draxum made him to do & then blithely being like 'we were engineered to eat humans anyway' as a defense for all the corpse-eating. mikey you just like eating people & have decided that part does align with your self-identity. mikey would really not appreciate anybody being like 'i'm sorry nobody saved you from that' b/c that (to him) would basically be the same as them saying they thought he was fundamentally, irreparably damaged & was going to be forever incapable of being anything other than what draxum made him to be. he wouldn't take it well.)

uhhh what else. i mean there's a lot. fun fact pretty much every time mikey gets mad at somebody else he's hugely projecting. even his pacifism is like... hmm maybe he should have killed draxum. a lot of his talk @ raph about splinter is secretly mikey relitigating his feelings about draxum. oh what's that mikey you think that splinter is only playing happy family b/c he's immortal and he has infinite time to spend humoring somebody's illusions but that when push comes to shove he'll drop all that? gee i wonder if that might apply to any dynamics in mikey's own life. lol at mikey being like "wow red your life is kind of a fucked-up nightmare of weird psychopaths playing like they're happy family" and then two chapters is like "hey come meet my family. we live in my genocidal dad's bombed-out lab and we're treating him like a weird racist grandpa". i kinda wanted something that would complicate mikey just being like "i am a pacifist now and i don't kill anybody"; mikey that's all well and good but like half his inner tension comes from not being sure if he should've left draxum alive. that's kinda the mirror to him debating whether or not actually killing leatherhead would've been better. (in a few years shelldon is gonna go through a period of not wanting to talk to any of them. mikey & donnie are better parents than draxum but that's such a low bar.)

(likewise at the end when mikey is like "this is raph's healthiest relationship so far!" to leo, like, this is more mikey projecting. really the raph/casey relationship was probably better for raph & casey, idk, who can say. but is mikey's relationship with raph the healthiest romantic interaction he's ever had? yes, absolutely. we don't get to see the mikey/leatherhead relationship really up-close and personal but it should be pretty clear that it was pretty awful for everybody involved. compared to that, the mikey/raph is absolutely mikey's healthiest relationship so far. just. low bars.)

lol i am a little concerned that mikey's tendency to monologue, & especially his whole political monologue near the end, will get people to think he's just acting as an author's soapbox. i mean, okay, the little author's note where i'm like "as always, mikey is a perfect role model and everybody should do what he does" was a fun little joke. but, oof, the number of fics i've read where the authors feel the need to loudly and repeatedly disclaim that This Story Contains Things The Author Does Not Condone In Real Life is pretty disheartening. way to have absolutely no faith in your audience. but likie, the part where mikey is pretty much flat-out like, "actually i think my moral framework is whatever is necessary to justify my actions" is meant to be pretty damning. maybe not of mikey specifically as a character, just of, you know. the whole world where that's a pretty common outlook among people with power.

lets talk about the rape. part of it is that it felt like it would be inauthentic to go through the entire story without mikey seriously violating one of raph's boundaries. part of it is that mikey here kinda has the trifecta of ASPD, ADHD, & bipolar, and the thing with that is it's very easy to just say that but a little more difficult to convey the personality traits involved. this isn't really something ever stated as such in the fic, aside from various people calling mikey crazy + raph calls him a sociopath once. it's kind of too didactic to just flatly state "and this is what's wrong with mikey!" imo. but. this is a story about violent people. imo you can't just gesture to a character with the background level of callousness for the genre and go "okay this is a clinical sign"; you kinda gotta do something more direct. 'wow mikey sure is CRAZY and WEIRD good thing it only shows itself as him being slightly mean to people'. no. mikey has done some pretty horrible things in the past and clearly isn't fully done with that.

(i did pretty much go straight down the list of symptoms there. impulsive, suicidal, aggressive, violent, risky sex, arrogant, limited empathy, no regard for other people or social norms, difficulty with relationships, arson, etc, etc, etc. but it's not like he's a 'realistic' portrayal here, since... i mean, he is a super-powered ninja. there's a level of 'superficial charm' here but we do get enough of mikey's interiority to be able to tell he's a total mess in a way that's not particularly constructed.)

also it's like. raph graphically tortures several people to death & i didn't really feel the need to disclaim that here. murder is usually seen as a lesser crime in fiction than rape. people love their violent blorbos but the second there's the implication of sexual violence people freak out. the usual line people say is that the threat of murder is a little more removed for most people than the threat of rape, which idk if i fully agree with. but part of it is also to draw a line between raph's violence and mikey's boundary violation. like mikey says, well, raph tried to non-consensually murder him a few times too.

anyway i don't think i really stuck the landing with that either, in part b/c raph's response to it. he's a little too pathetically accepting of things at the end instead of being angry + violent. that could use a rewrite or two.

honestly i'm kinda sick of this story now? which sucks a little, since i kept realizing things about the story all the way up to the very last moment of editing. if i had waited to post any of this until i was done with the first draft... well, it'd be a very different story if i went back and turned this rough draft into something more complete. i never really did manage to hit the character beats with raph i was hoping to. oh well. like, i still like it. but i can definitely see all of its weak points. i guess that's just part of the process of writing. it'd be worse if you wrote a giant novel and came out on the other side not more aware of your failings as an author.

i feel like raph isn't super well-realized in terms of character motivations. or... his relationships aren't shaded in as well as they could be. if i were redoing this whole thing i'd definitely include some chunks of raph pov just to lay out more concretely what he's doing & what his life is like when he's not in the same scene as mikey. i kinda included that raph+donny conversation at the very end just for jokes, but actually ending every chapter with a little section of non-mikey pov would've helped ground a lot of the characters. raph isn't super well-developed and leo is pretty much incoherent absent external familiarity with his character's deal. they're not conveyed super well, in part because, well, any time mikey is onscreen everybody is having to deal with mikey. it's a problem.

but something that absolutely could have worked as a secondary narrative to the story is the whole thing with raph working w/ the oroku. that was a bit of a late addition to the story. it's meant as a reference to, you know, all the times raphael ends up being compared to/assuming the mantle of the shredder in the comics. but as it is since we don't get any real looks into exactly what's going on in yakuza town when mikey's not around none of that got developed very well, imo.

it was very important to me that mikey not learn any lesson here. where things are at in the end are pretty much the exact same as where they were in the beginning. the bit in the pizza scene where he's like 'you guys get to live and i get a boyfriend' is very accurate. literally the only change in mikey's life through this entire thing is that at the end he is in a relationship w/ a guy who he can tell some of what his life is like to. not that it's a super healthy relationship, but it is there.

well, that, and also now he's maybe out of time. (uh, so the laughter at the very end of the epilogue is mikey realizing he's out of time. the whole epilogue really is about how he's got all these conflicting tensions of who-knows-what in his life, & then right in the middle of the tension it's like, whoops, the utrom aren't coming in 10 years or 20 years, they're coming now. and in a week you're gonna be getting some really pointed questions about how you know the utrom envoy. and in a few years, well, there's gonna be some planetary evacuation) like the whole story is about... anxiety. mikey feeling the weight of the future on him in every moment. actually seeing things collapse would be a relief; you'd get the release of all the potentiality collapsing into an actual problem. the moral of the story is you get what you get and in the end all mikey's actions, good or bad or otherwise, have bought him is nine more months of ignoring his problems.

anyway sorry to all the tmnt fans who were expecting a happy cheerful mikey/raph story. this is actually about the fundamental injustice of existence. whoops!

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meredoubt · 3 months ago

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I'm extremely far left in just about all respects, and won't budge, but I gotta admit: having multiple people in my life who work in the declining medical/firefighting/EMT fields (in terms of support, and aging workers) does give me pause. Maybe it's because I'm rural, and can already see what a declining town looks like in terms of infrastructure. Idk man.

Public works and services (at least in my area) are not showing that "people will still want to work," on stuff that actually matters, like healthcare, education, emergency services, roads. Rural hospitals are being gutted, particularly maternity care. A vicious cycle, because declining birthrates means the hospitals don't cross the 50 kids per year threshold that justifies their existence, which shutters the programs, which means the healthcare gets worse in the area, which makes it less appealing to move there, which means lower birthrate, etc etc ad nauseum. Like, sure, some of that will be mitigated when capitalism falls or everyone is covered by UBI or whatever. Right. Like passionate doctors will live there or make the trek out to the boonies or whatever. But it still wouldn't be enough.

And I do care. I care because cities are not what I necessarily want the future to look like. We need to be realistic that "green cities" are utopian, and will barely qualify as cities. Most of the changes to make them green will gut a lot of the benefits of moving to higher population centers, and then it's just...less benefits, but with the addition of being crowded. There are pros-"it takes a village" i think these days makes more sense as "it takes a city," given the isolation in rural areas. Like that idea only really can take root in close quarters, and thats not rural or suburbs anymore.

To be clear, i don't want suburbs, either, with HOAs or whatever. But cities are not great, environmentally, either, even if letting many rural areas RETVRN TO NATVRE or whatever is I think good. But it's like...idk. Studying mortuary really has me thinking about how even the "greener" options of all our alternatives for everything aren't enough. Cities aren't enough, they've got pros sure, but massive cons. Anticiv shit isn't enough, but in societal ways, in the ways that encourage human adaptation/evolution. And that does matter. Not our numbers, but that we continue to evolve, in subtle ways. We've settled at a solid blueprint. But I'm always looking ahead towards climate change, and past that human extinction, and past that Sol's collapse, and I'm just. It's far ahead. But the way immortalists talk, they want to mitigate our bodies. That concerns me. Life, death, human consciousness. These things are all so fragile, so tied to our physicality, in such a delicate ecosystem.

I just worry. Foolish, long term worry, but I do.

None of it is enough.

I'm not one of those freaks who's like, concerned about demographics or overpopulation or whatever. But I do have some concerns about a worldwide aging population that requires care and support as a majority, regardless of whatever system we build. Capitalism obviously exacerbates the problem because it created it, with it's cancerous need for growth. But.

I don't know. It's collapsing empire, I'm aware, but some part of me looks at the talked about replacements or alternatives and finds all of it-all we've built, and our lofty ambitious pipedream blueprints-to be woefully wanting.

And you know. I don't like humanity, often. But I do love it, whatever it looks like, in 100 years or back 1000 or forward to whatever our descendents could look like, whatever could be after homo sapiens. Our potential.

Repair the world is on my mind, more than usual.

I just don't think any of what we're doing will be big enough.

Demand it be.

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dcvilthoughts · 2 years ago

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meagan tandy & she and her / cis woman ‷ watch out , jade sullivan has crash-landed into roswell !! they look thirty three years old and celebrate their birthday on august 22. they are from tampa, florida, reside in lunar crescent and are currently working as public relations agent. one thing you should know about them is that she’s the typical bougie hipster vegetarian lesbian with a love for soccer‷ ( ziggles, est, she/her, 33 ) + two ginger cats mango and yam

biography under the cut

car accident and ptsd mentions tw;

“That child is going to be trouble,” they said.

“I will rain so much legal brimstone on this school that it would make God jealous,” she said before taking her daughter out for ice cream. The crime? Punching a fellow student for bullying.

The daughter of two powerhorse lawyers, Jade Sullivan was raised not to tolerate nonsense from anyone. They wanted her to make a mark on the world, telling her to never go quietly. It wasn’t her grades they were impressed by; rather, it was the way she connected with people even from a young age, always fighting the good fight.

It was obvious what captured her attention as a young girl: soccer. Each year, she looked forward to summer simply because she could play every day without school to distract her. She kept telling everyone she’d make it big one day. If Jade Sullivan put her mind to it, she made it happen. Her parents knew she was not one to be underestimated, and put whatever resources they had to ensure her dreams came true.

“She’s too intimidating,” they said.

They always seemed terrified asking her out -- but those brave enough were quickly passed over, her interest in them minimal and fleeting at best. For the longest time, she figured it was due to her ambitious nature. Why date when she could focus entirely on her future? Once everything clicked, everything clicked. Coming out was a mixed bag of reactions in her family, some of them wondering why she insisted on making her life harder by being out and proud.

Popular simply because she looked out for everyone and if you fucked with her people, she fucked with you. She was nice until she wasn’t. Sometimes it meant a good, swift punch and sometimes it meant ruining your life through psychological means -- ruining your reputation, getting you kicked off the team, providing receipts to the parents. Her popularity meant she had eyes and ears everywhere. She was the kind of woman people owed favors to because she used them to help other people. Putting her high school soccer team on the map was merely an added bonus.

An unfortunate injury as a result of a freak car accident derailed her chances of being recruited to a national soccer team. Doctors said years of physical therapy was needed to return to a sense of normalcy. In the midst of it all, she had an unfortunate falling out with her parents due to her refusal to go to therapy for her post-traumatic stress disorder. The accident didn’t just hurt her physically; it took a toll on her mental state.

The woman had too much ambition not to make it big somewhere. With a natural affinity for manipulation and putting a spin on stories, she went to one of the best colleges for public relations. Taking on a full course workload while going through months of intense physical therapy was the Jade Sullivan way. An internship with a major league sports team turned into a full fledged career after graduation. She would soon find out a former classmate, who had found success with the team, insisted on her hiring, having regaled stories from their high school years. It was a frustrating thing to know because of the casual racism put on display -- she had been nearly passed over for a white man with less qualifications.

Her ambitious nature and work ethic had her climbing the ladder over the years. Despite not being at the top, she’d consider herself as the person running things due to her subtle machinations and blackmail material she held over them. She was friendly with those on the ‘lower rung’, so to speak -- they liked to talk. And naturally, she was more than happy to listen.

After seven years of working her life away, she had rendered herself important enough to request working from ‘home’ in Roswell, only coming in for meetings with the upper echelon of the team.

#roswellintro #about the girl

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novafire-is-thinking · 4 months ago

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I finally had time to put this together

I was tagged twice (thanks @aecho-again and @sphnyspinspin!), so I’m going to list characters from 8 different pieces of media. To make everyone’s lives easier and improve accuracy, I’ve included quick character summaries below the cut. Check those out before you vote because I want to see votes made based on perceived ACCURACY—not familiarity. In the reblogs, I see this skewing the majority of the results because people are pitching to followers who don’t know certain characters.

But hey—if you’re not interested in reading all the summaries, go ahead and vibe vote. I’m trying to practice not taking things so seriously.

Tagging @aspiring-prototype @blighted-lights @frootertooter @lishadra @decepticon-nerd @theconfusedtissue @staijey-the-creator @prismicnexus @cadet-songbird @karlyanalora @transformersloversworld @lets-try-some-writing @onewingedsparrow + and anyone else who’s interested

Character summaries below:

Soundwave

You all know who he is already. Tactical genius, spymaster, braincell of the Nemesis.

Mel Medarda

Mel Medarda is a Noxian aristocrat based in Piltover and a member of Piltover's ruling council. A disowned heir of the Medarda Clan, Mel is an ambitious politician willing to do anything to put herself at the top. Using her political prowess, the actions she made have forever changed the course of Piltover's history.

Mel is a clever and cunning person, able to influence and manipulate people to her advantage. She cares for Piltover and wants to see it prosper, yet she is very calculated and analytical, and can often be hesitant to support rash solutions to problems. While she cares for certain members of her family, she clashes with her mother and ultimately decides to vote for peace with Zaun in defiance of her mother's aggressive ideals. (source)

Obake (Bob Aken)

Back when he was a student at SFIT, Bob Aken had plans to change the world for the better with cutting-edge technology. But following his accident, the permanent damage he suffered to his brain had a negative effect on his psyche, rendering him cold-hearted and insane.

His previous ambitions were now greatly twisted by the belief that genius should not be held back, but have the freedom to explore it to help civilization progress, in whatever way it had to come, and his desire to be recognized for it only fueled his mentality. While he still intended to make the world a better place, he didn't care if innocent people got hurt or even killed in the process as a small price to pay for his desires. He became an intimidating man who terrified other criminals like Yama and was described by one of the Mad Jacks as "kind of a freak". Despite his insane beliefs, he acted calculating and patient. (source)

Shadow (NOT the game version)

Shadow is extremely arrogant, blunt, aloof, cold, aggressive, brooding and very loyal to whomever he is serving and determined to whatever cause he is fighting for. He is anti-social and does not speak or smile much. However, he often smirks when being sure of himself, or if he thinks lowly of someone. But deep down, he does have a heart. He cares for those who cared for him such as Maria, Molly, Rouge and Chris and often follows their goals in his own fashion no matter what the cost is. . . (source)

Shadow is clearly harsh, abrasive and blunt. Yet, he appears to be an introvert due to his aloof, silent, and cautious nature. He’s not impulsive and usually appears calculated. He prefers to work alone, and usually takes a relatively direct approach in dealing with things. He doesn’t hold strong values, yet has a solid sense of identity and self-worth. (source)

Mizu

Mizu is mostly concerned with her own quest for revenge and is mostly uncaring towards the feelings of others as she pursues this quest. She will, at the very least, avoid killing those who are not a threat and, despite admitting that she is no samurai, has a sense of honor. She’s not outwardly self-deprecating or despairing, but it’s evident that years and years of being called a monster and half-breed, of living in a society where no one looks like her at all, have taken a toll. She cuts herself off from any meaningful human connection and turns that internalized resentment into her only mission in life. (source)

Jo March (2019 film and book versions)

(Note: I couldn’t find any decent, short summaries of either version, so I pulled a couple lines from an article about film Jo and a quote from the book—both of which capture Jo’s essence.)

Jo March’s emotions run deep, and her character’s complexity is beautifully portrayed by Ronan. From the beginning, Jo is determined to break social norms and pursue her dream of becoming a writer. She embodies a mix of ambition, frustration, and hope. . . (source)

“I’d have a stable full of Arabian steeds, rooms piled with books, and I’d write out of a magic inkstand, so that my works should be as famous as Laurie’s music. I want to do something splendid before I go into my castle—something heroic, or wonderful—that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day. I think I shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream.” (from Little Women)

22 is a soul with a snarky and cynical attitude. She is not interested in having a life on Earth and would rather stay at the Great Before due to believing life on Earth to not be that great. (source)

22 wants nothing to do with actually living. 22 has spent “centuries” avoiding real life, avoiding leaving her comfort zone, and avoiding feeling ready to be someone. She has not found her “spark” because she has never overcome her self-doubt about being good enough, qualified enough, and fearless enough to get born. Instead, she has intellectualized about it, developed a negative, avoidant cynical attitude about engaging with reality, and done everything possible to block anyone’s efforts in helping her get ready. (source)

The Little Prince

He is brave and curious enough to explore and leave his home planet in search for truth. He is kind to all whom he encounters but in his childlike innocence, he is often puzzled by the behaviors of grownups who seem odd, illogical and superficial to him. In his exploration the prince learns how to love properly and how to establish true friendships.

The Little Prince is imaginative and curious and knows all of what he knows only by exploring it himself. (source)

Not me having some kinda type... Who shall I tag? I think I wanna tagggggg... @mybugsmybugsmybugs @mexicangela @lunar-years @biscuitboxpink but no pressure!! I just thought it would be fun!

#I will turn anything into a social experiment #honestly it all comes down to which facet of my personality is most obvious and/or how much I’ve let each person see #that’s what makes it fun #I made sure to pick favorites from across the spectrum of relatability just to see what will happen #tag games

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transpersian · 8 months ago

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Addendum.

Follow-up to my original post about leaving the conflict. From my Twitter thread last week (2/22).

Sorry I didn't post it sooner; I literally just got out of six days in the hospital.

A particularly kind anon sent me an ask that clarified a few things for me, so I’d like to write an update to my explanation for withdrawing.

Last month, I had one of the worst mental collapses I’ve ever had, and that’s saying something.

I don’t want to get into the details because those are private. Suffice it to say that when I said my emotional needs finally exceeded the capacity of my support network, I mean that I spiraled into a place that I haven’t been in since June, with a few days of July to cap it off.

If you read my doc, you may remember that that was the worst of it. Endless BPD spiraling, all coping mechanisms failing one by one until freefall. I call this place “the pit.”

Friends gently coax me to not stay too long and I wryly joke back, “Buddy, I’ve got a vacation home down here.”

One highly unlikely happenstance after another throughout this has me finally returning to work after essentially eight months, if you count June (since I was unable to do anything despite being on the clock).

I have a good job that I’ve kicked ass at since September 2019. I had four YEARS of momentum built up into an ambitious project that was going to kick my career into its next phase.

That’s gone now.

I need to rebuild my career momentum practically from scratch now, and this mental collapse hit a couple of weeks into finally getting back to work.

Only this time, I didn’t even have the few supports that I did back in June.

I also have a lot of personal things to tend to aside from my own health. A family wedding and all of the drama that entails. Totaling my car in December. Parents divorcing. Loved ones who are entering new phases of mental and physical decay, and adapting to these heavy new paradigms.

I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that all of my friends who’ve been watching me go through this all this time have been trying to push me to find a way to get out.

“What does the end of this look like?” “We’re worried about you.” “I want my friend back.”

I never thought I’d have an out. I thought that no matter what I did, they’d blame me for all of it because it started with my thread. I thought I’d be looking over my shoulder for them and their fans for the rest of my life.

Initially, some people didn't realize that I was ready to go that far, and when some of my friends figured it out, it scared them (and rightfully so). We'd accepted my obsession as collateral damage that we'd figure out later, but it was still worrying.

I didn’t enter that conversation expecting anything, so when it went the way that it did, I have to admit that I was somewhat relieved. The fight is out of my hands now anyway and this is what everyone has been telling me I need to do.

So I did it.

I hope you can understand what I mean when I say that, in that moment, thinking about the fight and the cost, how rightfully worried my friends were about me, how long I’d been in it, and how much I was currently doing… the choice was clear.

Even my own side wanted me out.

I’m the DMZ now, and while nobody “owes” me their trust, anon was right: it would be helpful if people knew that this has been taking a major toll on me and my life. Most people directly involved are glad I’m out (even if they’re not necessarily happy with how it happened).

Has this affected my relationship dynamics with them? Absolutely. Some will flat-out never trust me again and I don’t blame them.

But I'm not okay.

I can't keep doing this anymore.

This is for the best and it was the right time for me to bow out. This is just… how it happened. Freak timing and happenstance. A perfect storm.

At the very least, try to imagine a scenario where I'm not betraying anyone beyond bowing out.

Because if I have another breakdown like last month, my income is just the first thing I'll be losing.

So...

I don’t know how much all of that matters to anyone, but I thought I’d put it out there. I’d love to be unblocked by some people, but it is what it is.

Don’t really know how to end this one. Hope it at least helped some people hate me less.

#zenaandpoppy #poppy and zena #milena

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angelvibezluv · 3 years ago

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Sun - Pluto harsh aspects

Conjunction, square, opposition

T/W: may bring up past trauma, short mention of abuse.

So after I had my mini identity crises💀 I suddenly realized that I have Sun square Pluto. So I decided to impulsively write about Sun harshly aspecting Pluto in the natal chart. This goes for conjunction, square and opposition. So I’m very sorry, this post won’t be for everyone. Most of my focus will be on the struggles of having these aspects.

Sun to Pluto

These aspects bring rather harsh and painful experiences. But in general natives with Sun to Pluto will often experience feelings of guilt, shame and not belonging. They were often taken control of or handled aggressively by one or both parents. Which creates issues with their bond, especially with the father. The father could be domineering or somewhat of a control freak. I learned that the family could also be filled with some degree of hatred, rumours and could be very secretive. If they are able to push through their experiences they become strong and powerful individuals with the need to help and protect others. They are decisive and make great leaders that radiate confidence. Others have much respect for them. With the potential to inspire an entire crowd of people they bring change wherever they go. They must learn to embrace these amazing traits of theirs but must also learn not to abuse their power. A walking anomaly. Very alluring. Intimidating. Sexy. Intense and magnetic.

Sun conjunct Pluto

These are the individuals with a strong personality. Ambitious and goal oriented. May hide their intensity in fear of overwhelming others. Must learn to get rid of their fear of digging deep inside themselves. There will be lots of self discovery and soul searching. Will take things harder than others because of the unconscious desire to dramatically grow and transform through every experience. High self awareness which makes them sure of themselves and sure what they want. Won’t settle for less. There can be struggles with taking their power back after constantly being put into fear and being controlled. Strongly impacts others with their action whether they intended to or not. If the aspect is tight enough their actions will be extremely influential and evolutionary. Others feel this sense of intimidation because they're not easily persuaded. They usually have or will have to develop much respect for themselves and their privacy. This will make it hard for others to manipulate them. Especially when it comes to their boundaries. Seeing the true intentions others have easily. The “Can you handle me” type. You can see the wars they’ve been through in their eyes and by the way they carry themselves. Very protective of themselves. Everyone seems to always want a piece of them. They have a very mysterious and magnetic presence/ look in their eyes. Because of this others will have this strong desire to get close to them in an attempts to figure them out. Other times their mysterious presences may cause them to be accused of things they didnt do.

Sun square Pluto

Similar to Sun conjunct Pluto these individuals will have a very determined and strong personality. It makes one extremely passionate and intimate. They are very passionate about their creative endeavours and dangerously protective over their loved ones. So much so that they have the tendency to overwhelm others with their passion and protective nature. They will go through destruction and building themselves up until a brand new image has been created. Constant changes with how they want to be perceived by others. Renewing themselves often. Confliction with the ego and confidence. So there can be a fear of expressing or revealing too much of their personality. Struggles with releasing bad habits and built up anger. They often go through inner tension and constant battles with regaining control over themselves. Therefore these individuals oftentimes clash with those who try to dominate them as they tend to be the dominant ones themselves. Their competitive nature usually leads to power and control issues. There can be a strong mistrust in others and they may fear when things go too well for them. This because they often experience major and unexpected changes in their life. These individuals become natural healers and will always want to aid their loved ones through difficult times. Through helping others they develop a better understanding of themselves. This brings them joy and a sense of fulfillment. Similar to Sun conjunct Pluto they will enjoy being a mystery to others.

Sun opposite Pluto

A very private person that tries their best to keep a perfect image of themselves. But if expectations seem to be too high for them, they tend to self-destruct and can fall back into self sabotaging habits. Not the type to be so welcoming of change and transformation. There is this constant fear of losing things most important in their life which may create abandonment issues. This can create a very stubborn personality since change and imperfection is something that is constantly being avoided by these individuals. Pluto will bring change into these individuals lives if they themselves haven’t taken the initiative to change. And that’s not something you want. With losing balance in their life they gain strength if they're is able to overcome these imbalances. There can be difficulties with spite, jealousy, ruthlessness, rage and projecting their fears onto others. Pluto being a generational planet, these individuals beliefs may also differ from the rest forcing them to become outcasted.

Alright well that’s all I could come up with right now. Let me know your thoughts, especially if you have any of these <3

#astrology #astro #mine #aspect #Pluto #pluto aspects #sun aspects #sun conjunct Pluto #sun square Pluto #sun opposite Pluto #1212 #IM GOING TO SLEEP so I will answer TM <333$:$;$

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lil-gingerbread-sims · 2 years ago

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🎃 Simblreen 2022 Treat 🎃

Occult Sims Dump

A bunch of freaks to put in your game, to play with, or to simply live in the background. All of them have a job, except one, and competences. Minimum packs used and the majority of CC is include in the zip file. The game may tell you that you need more packs than the one listed, but it's not the case normally. Click on their names to get to the download page (Google Drive, free and safe)

Do not re-upload or claim these sims as your own.

You may use these sims as ‘base’ sims to make your own.

If you post them, I would love to me tag to see them!

You can change their orientation, their pronouns and their corpulence, free real estate.

Installation

Download the zip file of the sims you want.

Using an extraction tool (such as Winrar or Winzip), extract the contents of the file to a new folder.

Place files ending in .package in yours Mods Folder

Place all other files in C:\******\******\Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4\Tray

Boot up your game and go to the Gallery. Make sure you click on the Advanced option in the Gallery and tick “Include Custom Content” for the sims to show up.

Candy Spook

Content: BG only

Aspiration: Chief of Mischief

Traits: Foody | Goofball | Active

Bio: Halloween is all year long for this trick. Spooky Influencer n°1, nobody know who they really are. Are they human? What is their real name? Do they really survive on treats alone?

Lelio Niia

Content: BG | Get To Work | Intuition Eyes Alien

Aspiration: Bestselling Author

Traits: Genius | Outgoing | Childish

Bio: Any good writer knows that researches are the base of any good work. So why shouldn't they infiltrate their subjects? Nobody is going to suspect that the new genius at the lab is publishing a novel based on humans' love for grilled cheese.

⚠️ Every male alien sims I make are able to get pregnant ⚠️

Culga Vesper

Content: BG | Vampires | Intuition Eyes Vampire

Aspiration: Villainous Valentine

Traits: Jealous | Romantic | Music Lover

Bio: Being an alternative music artist is so hard! Make good music, be well-dressed, and everyone is saying they flirt with their fans and drink their blood! Well, maybe they are, but can't people mind their own business?!

Niraj Sumiati

Content: BG | Island Paradise

Aspiration: Neighborhood Confidante

Traits: Music Lover | Child of the Islands | Kleptomaniac

Bio: Nature seems to bloom when they arrived, maybe because they care about the environment, maybe because they're connected to it, or maybe both! But if you lost something shiny in their presence, it's probably in a treasure chest at the bottom of the ocean now.

Kalei Cissé

Content: BG | Magic Realms

Aspiration: Freelance Botanic

Traits: Loner | Loves Outdoors | Ambitious

Bio: When someone lives on their own in a cottage in the wood, with little connection to others, they could be a witch with a love for potion-making and creative hobbies. Anyway, they're living my dream.

Marina Jones

Content: BG | Paranormal Stuff

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Traits: Loves Outdoors | Creative | Gloomy

Bio: All peace and love, until death. Well, nobody is stopping them to still be, but being killed on their wedding day by their new husband during an argument isn't really peace and love.

Nyx Sinclair

Content: BG | Werewolf

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Traits: Geek | Self-Assured | Perfectionist

Bio: A star enthusiast that do their own horoscope every day and can calculate the size and speed of a comet just by looking at it. And yes, stargazing is the best, unless it's the full-moon.

#simblreen #simblreen 2022 #the sims 4 #ts4 #simblr #ts4 download #the sims 4 download #halloween 2022 #my sims #which one is your favorite?#niraj is inspired by Coral Island and Kalei by My Little Witch Story #I love those games

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shinelikethunder · 1 month ago

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one of them is a crazyass homicidal hacker chick who worships the AI as a god, the other is a former government assassin who doesn't know how to feel feelings, together they team up with the guy who built god and try to prevent murders before they happen........ also the creators were not expecting these two characters to fall DISGUSTINGLY in love and spend a bunch of seasons murderflirting and eyefucking at every available opportunity, but when they noticed it happening they went "fuck it, let's roll with this" and let them desperately make out at the climax of one of the best episodes of TV i've ever watched

i mean also the show ran from 2011 to 2016 and managed to predict just about every surveillance-tech scandal of the 2010s at least a year in advance, and is like Leverage-level competent at doing insanely ambitious things with the network-procedural format... but for the purposes of this rec all you really need to know is that two of their lead characters (both violent little feral-cat weirdos who suck at being people) fell in Big Gay Love right under their noses and they canonized! that! shit! AND let Sarah Shahi and Amy Acker have a furniture-smashing sex scene!

(season 1 is kind of slow to find its calling and neither Root nor Shaw are major characters until s2, but unfortunately the show is so good at doling out backstory piece by piece and burying big arc-plot reveals in what looks like a case of the week that it... doesn't really have skippable episodes. if you want a sample you can try Shaw's intro ep, 2x16 "Relevance," because her chemistry with Root was insane kinky freak shit right from the start)

have you heard the good news about Root, Shaw, and their sentient AI third (she/her) on Person of Interest

no...but i just perused the tag and i am seated and ready to hear the gospel

#person of interest #root/shaw #as ignominious as it is to admit this...... my final tipping point into starting SPN was 'the fuck do you MEAN they're both in s1'#(as the woman in white in the pilot and the young mom in dead in the water)

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drpepperhateblog · 2 years ago

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Some thoughts on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Positives

The songs are great. Many of them manage to describe so many awkward everyday situations that no one has ever dared to acknowledge.

Nathaniel and OG Greg were my favorite characters throughout and the only reason I could bring myself to keep watching. Trent was also hilarious. Valencia, while not consistent in some episodes, also got to favorite character level at times.

Seriously, Nathaniel. I felt uncomfortable by how much I could relate to him. I’m not sure if that has ever occurred to me before.

Okay, this is a Nathaniel thought thread now I suppose, but his parallells with Rebecca are also so interesting. The things that weird him out about her are things that weird him out about himself. But Rebecca lets her freak flag fly while he puts on a suit, plays with a stress ball and holds it all in. Also, I wanted more of Nathaniel at the zoo chilling with the monkeys.

Trent was fascinating because he was a mirror to Rebecca but 1 season back. So if we had gotten a season 5 then I guess that would be when Trent gets his diagnosis (let’s be real, he probably has BPD too). His songs mirroring hers was fun (Season 2 intro one especially) and offered a lot of perspective as well. It’s easy for the viewer to empathize with what Rebecca does, because she’s a woman. It’s less easy and even discomforting to try to do the same with Trent. Fascinating.

I love the major part parenting plays into the show. How someone with demanding, ambitious parents ends up fearful and anxious (Rebecca), someone with emotionally distant parents ends up unable to connect with other people (Nathaniel), someone with understanding and overly kind parents ends up directionless and lazy (Heather). Interesting.

Beautiful exploration of feminism and double standards. “Put Yourself First” especially encapsulates this, but honorable mentions to “Let’s Generalize About Men” and the Season 2 and 3 intro songs.

Negatives

Josh Chan is a painfully boring character. I almost quit the show, several times, because he showed up on screen and I instantly wanted to do other things. I was told to “just do something else while watching”... what is the point of watching a show if not to overanalyze everything? Why should I watch a show without actually watching it?

So much filler in Season 1. So much filler.

Valencia’s bisexuality had zero foreshadowing. Her girlfriend isn’t even properly introduced to us and just ends up being someone who does the same thing Valencia does.Rebecca on the other hand has plenty of things suggesting she is bisexual and it’s really odd that she ends up being straight?

The show doesn’t seem able to decide if the musical numbers are Rebecca’s fantasies or reality. This especially shows in everything about Valencia’s character. “I’m So Good At Yoga” definitely looks like Rebecca’s fantasy. Then you have musical numbers such as “Women Gotta Stick Together” and “This Is My Movement” where Rebecca isn’t in the room and sometimes has no idea of what’s happening, so it’s not possible for it to be her fantasy.

On the other point of straight up impossible, when Rebecca flies to New York and the Dream Ghost takes her home and shows her Greg does care about her - that does not work logistically, in any way. That makes no sense.

Some of the songs “pay homage” to other songs but it ends up looking more like plagiarism than parody in some parts. I don’t know if she show knew what it wanted to do.

The musical bits sometimes have nothing to do with the actual episode. Sure, the song is still great, but what is the purpose? Some of it feels like Rachel Bloom stuck it in because she wanted to do another music video for YouTube. I understand (and I probably would’ve done the same in her position let’s be real, Heavy Boobs is hilarious even if like.. not relevant at all to what’s going on in the episode), but if you’re going to make a musical then make the music more relevant rather than make a 2+ minute song of something that doesn’t actually matter. Same with Fuckton of Cats - the cats became irrelevant within seconds after the song ended.

I also reacted to this during Getting Bi, which has excellent lyrics very relatable to the bisexual experience, but a lot of what is referenced in the song references bisexual struggles that we have not actually seen Darryl go through. It borderline breaks the 4th wall.

Skylar Astin was good but he’s not Greg.

Other observations

Rachel Bloom and Rebecca Bunch sharing initials, zodiac sign, and religion is probably not a coincidence.

To enter mild conspiracy theory territory... Her husband’s name is Dan Gregor...

Gets even more curious when you consider that they didn’t actually plan for Greg to leave in Season 2 but were forced to write him out because Santino Fontana left.

Overall enjoyed the show despite some glaring writing flaws. Second half of Season 2 and first half of Season 3 is the peak.

#crazy ex-girlfriend #cxg #crazy ex girlfriend #rachel bloom #rebecca bunch #darryl whitefeather #nathaniel plimpton

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cozymochi · 3 years ago

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whats something u hate seeing in fandom. go wild dont hold back tear the bitch apart etc etc!!!

understand this: i hate a lot of stuff in general fandom 😔 pretty much why i hardly follow anybody, and every blog i currently follow will be inactive and i’ll have a non-moving dash before i subject myself to following anybody who rbs blacklisted stuff or interacts with users i want to be as far away from as possible

BUT!!!

lately i’ve really REALLY grown to loathe the “OH WOW WE HAVE A CRAZY IDEAAAA! We’ve never managed anything in our lives but let’s gather up a bunch of users to create a HUGE AMBITIOUS FAN PROJECT!!! IT’LL BE SOOO COOL BECAUSE it’S REALLY COOL in our minds!! Spread the word!!! Hype it up!! It’ll be out so soon and be SO BIG AND IMPORTANTTT we’re just so excited— what’s that? You wanna know what it is? Oh we haven’t written it yet” type shit

Like i get it. Big ideas. Doing big things. Everyone wants to do it. Ya wanna make something as grand as what’s in your head or w/e and sheer ambition and zeal pushes you to throw everything at the wall at once. ALREADY WRANGLING UP USERS, Already setting up blogs!! Patreons!! Dont forget that yt channel!! Ads in discord!! HYPE IT UP FELLAS!! It’s gonna be the greatest fan project of all time—!!

all for what? an idea that still hasn’t left the mere conception phase. Just an idea. A promise of something supposedly cool. So many of these godforsaken “projects” are abandoned before they even start all because the people involved usually never have managed a large scale media project before with a bunch of people, dont understand the undertaking they’re going for, or have no idea wtf pre-production is. Ideas are cheap.

So. Freaking. Cheap.

After a while of seeing so many of these “”big projects”” get announced the instant they’re conceived, then within months of utter silence, no progress, no communication, they are cancelled before anything has even begun (oh excuse me, “hiatus” as some will say- u dont wanna disappoint anybody by admitting that it’s dead in the water huh). And im like HMMMM GEE I WONDER WHY!!

And the ones that actually get further along in some way mostly fall into that trap of sucking gullible people dry out of their money, pocketing it, then constantly making promises only to turn around and beg for more fan-content of their vanity project that still hasn’t even come out yet because lo and behold; nobody on board understands pre-production or how management works. Oh wow!! You have a large scale project yet progress is slow cuz you dont have enough recruits? WOW! It’s almost as if this undertaking was severely underestimated and u were weighing this purely on how cool it would be hypothetically and not the workload involved! Most if not all large scale projects (fan or otherwise) are like, 75% under the table pre-production. The rest is the execution itself. So many of these projects die because of all I’ve said, + unexpected turns, or straight up over-ambition

i get it this happens and it’s never going to let up and i can’t stop people from doing stuff like this. Im always gonna see it. But given how often i’ve been attempted to be recruited for these sort of things for a myriad of reasons I can see the red flags instantly and the cracks in the foundation already

just. man. There’s nothing wrong with having something smaller scale. Have your ambition or w/e, it can still be GOOD. But my god if you’ve never attempted something before dont go BALLS IN right away,,, These are tumblr users. Mostly teenagers and young adult hobbyists whose only major interest is what? plushies and cartoons? Not a 100 person team of experienced professionals in their respective fields putting together a production and backed by investors

it’s gonna be a disaster just for the love of god

Aaaaa

WRITE SOMETHING BEFORE YOU ANNOUNCE IT!! MAP IT OUT!! ANYTHINGGGG!!! DO SOMETHING BEFORE YOU DRAG OTHER PEOPLE INTO IT!!!

#cozy ask #thank u tho!! i wanted to air salt since tonight im salty 💕💕💕#but i always need consent for that #new game: send me some bad ideas and i’ll trash em💕💕#(this is a joke)#(…unless 😳😳😳)#(…no its a joke fr)

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sarcasticgaypotato · 3 years ago

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Teramis 2, 5, 7, 20, 25, 49; Key 1, 10, 13, 28, 30; Fate 11, 14, 50 How would the three of them interact if they ever met up somehow?

Teramis: 2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about? Getting her whole family and most of her people killed with her mistake. 5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear. Surface level: Gold and other valuables. Less a fear and more a trigger, but she doesn't like handling them. Repressed: Undead. She pushes this down so she can successfully hunt them, but they still freak her out. Deep dark: That she'll make the same mistake again, and be responsible for the death of people she cares about. 7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves? The scar over her mouth. It's a major source of shame because of how she got it. 20. Do they consider themselves unlovable? Yes. 25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Nope. Teramis has been on her own in the wilderness not making contact with other people, so no chance for betrayal. 49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through. Having to consciously take the life of/be responsible for the death of someone she considers to be her family. Key: 1. What is one word to shut them up? Dahlia. If someone knows to call her that, it can't be good news. 10. What is their greatest mental weakness? Her fear. It consumes her in many differently expressed ways, but as long as someone can find a way to exploit it, they've got access to a glaring weakness. 13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them? Probably lust. 28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them? Yes. Anyone who profits off of the suffering of living beings, anyone who places the value of lives below the value of coin. 30. Have they ever been bullied? Sort of? What happened to her was prolonged abuse and mistreatment, which I suppose you could call bullying. From people her age, though? Not really. She made friends easily as a child before she was taken. Fate: 11. Do they have any vices? Yep. She's quick to indulge in her hedonistic desires if the situation permits it, and she has a nasty, nasty temper... 14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… etc.)? As referenced in previous answer; yes. If she feels personally insulted, she is very quick to respond with physical violence, even towards relatively small slights. 50. What is their biggest regret? Being born a mortal. This is out of her control, but she frequently curses the fact that she isn't a real member of the fey. Fate is too prideful to actively regret things she chose to do. How would the three of them interact? Teramis adopts Key, Fate hits on Key, and Key is just a little bit flustered over the amount of muscles around her right now. ...Ok but seriously: Fate is slightly intimidated by Teramis; as Teramis is older(physically), taller, and more muscular. She doesn't want to show this, obviously, so she plays it cool and just tries to puff herself up even more than usual. She has a history now of taking interest in scrawny lil weirdos, so she'd likely be drawn to Key. Moderate flirting, but only really interested in a one night stand. Teramis is very confused about Fate's whole... everything, considering she looks way too much like a deer for someone who isn't a deer. It's a miracle Teramis didn't accidentally shoot her, honestly. Sees Fate for what she is- overly ambitious and a hotshot who has too much confidence in herself- but says nothing. It's that image of little dog barking at the big one, and the big one being very concerned. Key, however, has an aura effect of needing to be protected and Teramis has fallen victim. She sees a scared, underfed young girl and is full mama bear. Just very quietly. And awkwardly. Key desperately wants to feel safe, and to be around people who make her feel safe. Once she gets past the initial fear of Teramis- massive warrior woman wearing animal pelts silently staring into your soul- she would be quick to make herself comfortable at Teramis' side (or more accurately; hiding behind her). She'd also try very hard to get Teramis out of her shell, chatting up a storm and offering to show her performances. Fate is tricky. Assuming Fate puts on her best face for Key, I think Key would be flattered and blushy over being desired so blatantly, and would admire Fate's strength as well as her attractiveness. But spend any more time together, and she'd be off-put by Fate's violence and callousness.

#ocs #my ocs #teramis #fate #key #long post #Key the delicate blushing young girl who could destroy most people #she's more than twice Fate's level #it's a good thing she's a pacifist

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blacksunscorpio · 4 years ago

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Hello! I saw your post about elevated planets, is there also any explanation about the planets opposite/bottom of the Zenith/Mc? Thank you!

Good Question

Nadir In Astrology

The Nadir, or Imum Coeli (IC), Latin for “south/bottom of the sky,” or “lowest point” is one of the four major angles in an astrological birth chart [the other 3 are the [Rising, Descendant, and Midheaven] and definitely the least talked about. The Midheaven and Nadir points lie at opposite ends of your Natal Chart. The Midheaven is at the very top [where your most elevated will be nearest]. It is where the Sun was at its highest peak during midday. Using this, we calculate the Nadir, or where the Sun was at its very lowest point during midnight. Like the Ascendant and Descendent Axis, the Midheaven and Nadir are opposites, with one side exposed and other other deeply hidden. It lies opposite the Midheaven—a point on our chart that represents our public life and persona, which gets a lot of attention.

What it Means

Since the Midheaven is our brightest, most open, well-light part of your personality, adversely the Nadir is the dead of night in your chart [quite literally], the IC is the deepest, darkest, quietest, most personal place in your chart. It houses the Private Persona. This is how your mind operates in secret, how you feel, and how you act, when you are completely alone, with no one else watching. Our Nadir (IC) signifies our most profound depths and needs, a part of us that we often don’t share with others. While the rising and descendant axis of our charts navigate the relationship between self and others. The Midheaven and Nadir showcase the polarity of our outer and inner worlds. The IC sits on the cusp of the fourth house, ruled by the moon/cancer associated with family lineage, home environment, and family influences. Similarly to the moon, our nadir shows us our needs and emotional tendencies, though it's much more than that. When you looking at your birth chart, the nadir is below the horizon line of the ascendant and is the lowest place in our chart, therefore representing our foundation and roots. In this way, the IC also reveals the type of environment best for our physical well-being. Make sense? Now, I want to mention that many often think of the MC as a fake, constructed persona, and the Nadir is as our real, authentic selves. This couldn't be further from the truth. Fake news. This way of thinking hinges on the idea that we are fundamentally one type of person, forced act unlike ourselves in different situations. But the truth is, all of your choices and actions come together to create a portrait of who you really are, regardless of what made you act that way. The way you act when you are in front of people, trying to make your best impression - that is the real you. And the way you act when you are alone, with nobody to judge you - that is the real you, too ;). Humans are dichotomous and complex and astrology allows for that because it, as a study, is complex as well.

Nadir By Sign

Aries: [Libra MC] Need for independence and freedom. Reputation is built on the finer aspects of your personality. People know you by your good looks, first and foremost. They see you as elegant, yet strong; rational and logical. Inwardly, can be prone to dramatic displays of anger, loud demands, bossy, and sharp, biting humor and immense stores of sexual drive or drive in general. Family was very active or extremely ambitious. Learned early on how to be independent. Growing up, might have witnessed a lot of conflict in your family, some of it serious and some of it not. You saw problems with alcoholism, drug addiction, and anger. Unconsciously aggressive or combative.

Taurus: [Scorpio MC] Need for security or physical pleasures. Come off as intense, passionate, mysterious or dark. Family was stable or materialistic. As a child you were always well fed and secure. Parents/guardians gave you a taste for the finer things in life by caring so much about the look and quality of the things in their home. On a darker note they could also be quite controlling in a lot of ways, both over their house and family. Nothing could be done, or touched, or moved, or planned without them having a hand in what was going on. Native can be unconsciously inflexible or possessive.

Gemini: [Sagittarius MC] Need for understanding themselves and world around them. Outwardly can be very philosophical, blunt, straightforward and/or outspoken. When you find yourself alone with your thoughts, you spend a lot of time enjoying your own inner dialogue. And when you are with those few people you are close to, you enjoy a lot of stimulating conversations. Family is a literal mosaic. Different colors and personalities. Home life was changing constantly. Family was growing and shrinking, moving around, breaking apart and then putting/fitting new pieces together. Childhood was self-expressive or hyper-intellectually focused. Unconsciously erratic, anxious or cunning that can display itself as duplicitousness.

Cancer: [Capricorn MC] Need to seek and give nurturance. Can come off as determined, hard working, goal-oriented, and very good at what you do. You have a very professional public image that exudes confidence and experience. Family was co-dependent or critical. Growing up your mother was the central figure of your family home, either because she was a single mother or your father was away from home a lot. As a child, you were given more than enough praise and attention. When alone, you take on an almost maternal role in your house, cooking and cleaning and taking care of chores. Often, you will retreat into your bedroom, den or personal workshop and spend a lot of time working on things by solo. Unconsciously co-dependent or guarded.

Leo: [Aquarius MC] Need for creative self-expression. intelligent, detached connections with other people. Can come off as detached or have this kind “dry intensity” that radiates off of you – you seem to be quietly aloof, cold. When alone, can be quite friendly or show big displays of love to those close to them. An eternal child that will always love fairly tales no matter how old they are. Family was self-involved or warm-hearted. The kid who was told they were special all the time. Everybody in your family (especially your mother) fawned over all the things you did, praising you for every accomplishment and exaggerating all your best qualities. You got everything you wanted. Unconsciously may have a lot of self-doubt.

Virgo: [Pisces MC] Need for efficiency. Comes off as a creative, kind, spiritual, almost ethereal person. People will notice the far-away look, the quiet contentment that hangs around you like a miasma. Draws in both saints and sinners. Though they may present a misty outward appearance, inwardly they keep detailed inventory of everything. Likes work and routine. Family or parent was hyper-critical. Some kind of negativity surrounding you when you were growing up, like fighting, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or a poor home life. Whether or not you were aware of what your family members were going though, you looked for an escape. May have control freak tendencies.

Libra: [Aries MC] Need for harmony, though possibly difficulty in knowing needs with too much vacillation. Outwardly brave, perhaps a tad bossy, driven, commanding and leader-like with touches of aggression or authoritarianism. inwardly, peace loving, diplomatic, utterly polite, cooperative and friendly to the point of people pleasing. Family could have been quite social or superficial. When you are out interacting with the world you are confrontational and/or competitive. Growing up, you had to share your parent’s attention with other people. You might have had other siblings that got more than you, or they might have had other obligations that took up their time. Unconsciously coy.

Scorpio: [Taurus MC] Need for emotional depth and understanding. Outwardly laid back and grounded. Astonishing work-ethic. Security minded and practical. Inwardly there is a deep well of emotion. Can dwell or obsess. Powerful drive and silently aggressive. Family was secretive or powerful. Unconscious forces outside may have influenced them. Involved in power dynamics. Subconsciously, memories of the past are littered with alcoholism, abuse, death, trauma, sex, various kinds of manipulation and betrayal.

Sagittarius: [Gemini MC] Need to discover their own truth. Comes off as intelligent, sociable, highly optimistic. Social butterfly. Inwardly may act out personal and grandiose dramas. Family was hyper-ethical or adventurous. Sought to learn and understand other people’s cultures and perspectives. In your childhood, when you were living at home with your family, you were thought of as a very bright child. Energetic, enthusiastic about learning, and always exploring the outside world, you met every new subject with curiosity and an open mind. Teachers and classmates labelled you as the “smart kid”. Unconsciously can seek status, attention or might be prone to judgment.

Capricorn: [Cancer MC] Need for reliability and order. reputation for being determined, hard working, goal-oriented. Family was traditional or repressed emotions. Might feel like you have to “fight for respect.” Family was very restrictive and controlling. Tried to make you into what they wanted you to be rather than accepting you for how you were. When alone in the privacy of your own home, you are emotional, sensitive, and very attached to your belongings and loved ones. Unconsciously self-repressing or pessimistic.

Aquarius: [Leo MC] Need for unconventional and individual stance. Comes off as bubbly, friendly, happy, and attracts attention easily. Inwardly, a loner, detached, intelligent, the furthest thing from a people pleaser. Likes to be left alone to their own devices to study or research. Family was non-traditional or unavailable. Home life might have been chaotic or tumultuous. As a kid you had little control over your life’s direction and had to follow your parents wherever they went. This could mean you were uprooted a lot, maybe a military kid or simply forced into their religion or belief system. Unconsciously somewhat detached from others. Accept anybody for anything, you support them 100%. Not interested in people or affairs/things that do not concern you. Father might have been absent. Unconsciously weird/ unusual.

Pisces: [Virgo MC] Need for wandering or mysticism. Comes off as organized, dissecting, routine-loving and very well-put together. Inwardly, can be emotional, messy, lazy, gullible, but also sensitive, compassionate, empathetic, and completely selfless. Family roots of unclear boundaries. Growing up there was a lot going on between your parents that you didn’t understand. Perhaps born on the verge of some kind of upheaval. Something happened that caused the family break apart before you were born and now they were dealing with the aftermath. Unconsciously over-sensitive or non-committal.

Bruja note:

The key to understanding the patterns and energy of the IC brings balance and equilibrium to our lives as it teaches us how to embrace our past and move forward into our future. How to really grasp and harness the midheaven gifts and promises. There is an inevitable sense of karma and destiny associated with the angles of our charts, and the IC is no exception. Knowing the patterns of the nadir brings consciousness to our underworld. More understanding. It is considered by many astrologers one of, if not THE most important part of our entire chart—because of the depth of understanding it gives us when we really commit to comprehending it. By utilizing the skills and difficulties of our family/ancestors/origins, we are thrusted into our personal journey’s and ultimately our north node or most elevated destinies.

What sign is your Nadir in? Dissecting and understanding it can bring healing and growth to you and those you’re closely connected with.

#Nadir #IC #Imum coeli #MC vs IC #astro asks #astrology asks #astrology tumblr #astro tumblr #10th house astrology #4th house astrology #bruja tips #Midheaven/imum coeli axis #elevated planets #good question #zodiac signs

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